She was faking for attention.
Mental Illness
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She was faking for attention.
Long update.
I still feel like ****, haha.
My doctors and psychs don't know how to help me anymore. Everything feels like ****.
I'm having dreams too. I miss someone a lot, but I have a feeling all I do is cause them pain. I don't mean to, but he can't take my depression. I talk too much about wanting to kill myself or harm myself, and he's never dealt with any of this. He doesn't know how.
I'm pretty sure all my dreams are trying to say something, but **** it.
I feel so empty and depressed. I look at the world and all I hear is sad horrific events. I lose people. But there's not a single thing I can do at all.
Life is meaningless. I know these are all cognitive distortions, but whatever. Life is a distortion.
Why can't the world just let me die. I've tried nearly four different ways to die, and I haven't ****ing died yet. Even nature is ****ing with me, are you kidding? I go tie a noose, only to find all the trees here can't support my weight, so I can't ****ing hang myself.
God dammnit.
I still feel like ****, haha.
My doctors and psychs don't know how to help me anymore. Everything feels like ****.
I'm having dreams too. I miss someone a lot, but I have a feeling all I do is cause them pain. I don't mean to, but he can't take my depression. I talk too much about wanting to kill myself or harm myself, and he's never dealt with any of this. He doesn't know how.
I'm pretty sure all my dreams are trying to say something, but **** it.
I feel so empty and depressed. I look at the world and all I hear is sad horrific events. I lose people. But there's not a single thing I can do at all.
Life is meaningless. I know these are all cognitive distortions, but whatever. Life is a distortion.
Why can't the world just let me die. I've tried nearly four different ways to die, and I haven't ****ing died yet. Even nature is ****ing with me, are you kidding? I go tie a noose, only to find all the trees here can't support my weight, so I can't ****ing hang myself.
God dammnit.
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
the last few weeks have been really, really bad for me. i hate my mental illness stuff so much but at the same time if i didn't have this thing then who would i be lmao
also therapy is such a pain. it gives me so much anxiety but at the same time it's like the only thing in my life that's ok and that makes me feel safe-ish. lmao idk.
i told my therapist how suicidal i was and i didn't even tell her everything because i knew that she'd have to contact my parents if i told her too much because of laws and stuff, but apparently what i told her was enough to mess everything up and honestly my life is just a mess and i am so tired of everything. getting an appointmemt w a doctor who was there on my last appointment soon, we're going to discuss me going on meds i think??? honestly i regret telling my therapist about that stuff now.., whatever, i guess it doesn't really matter??? maybe it'll help lmao what do i know
also therapy is such a pain. it gives me so much anxiety but at the same time it's like the only thing in my life that's ok and that makes me feel safe-ish. lmao idk.
i told my therapist how suicidal i was and i didn't even tell her everything because i knew that she'd have to contact my parents if i told her too much because of laws and stuff, but apparently what i told her was enough to mess everything up and honestly my life is just a mess and i am so tired of everything. getting an appointmemt w a doctor who was there on my last appointment soon, we're going to discuss me going on meds i think??? honestly i regret telling my therapist about that stuff now.., whatever, i guess it doesn't really matter??? maybe it'll help lmao what do i know
Hermione Granger
animals have crossed
I've been diagnosed with: Social Anxiety, Depression, Avoidant Personality Disorder, and Agoraphobia. And although this is more of self diagnosed, I'm sure that I have depersonalisation/derealization disorder. I never talked to my psychiatrist or therapist about the latter, but I should soon to be sure since I've been feeling the symptoms of those for a while now.
I take medications for my anxiety since it gets triggered when I go out mostly. It's been under control for a year now, but I still get uncomfortable and start fearing the worst when I go out some times. I stopped taking my depression pills since I got really tired and hungry, but that's also kind of in control? I only feel bouts of it at this point or when I feel rejection.
I take medications for my anxiety since it gets triggered when I go out mostly. It's been under control for a year now, but I still get uncomfortable and start fearing the worst when I go out some times. I stopped taking my depression pills since I got really tired and hungry, but that's also kind of in control? I only feel bouts of it at this point or when I feel rejection.
Celestefey
どうでもいい
Update for me: the past 2 weeks have literally been awful for me but today I woke up feeling much more positive and happy after a good nights sleep. I've been resting and relaxing and my mental health has improved. I went to see a doctor last week to finally sort out my depression. I have never officially been diagnosed but it feels like it is fairly obvious to me, my family, and also to the doctor that I do have depression, and it's something that has been with me for a long time, and something that unfortunately some other members of my family suffer with. Anyway, I'm going for a blood test on Monday to see if I have any sort of vitamin deficiencies as sometimes that can cause people to feel more down and tired and sad, but if not, I might be signed up to a counseling scheme which I am pretty happy about. I currently see a private counselor right now and it's unfortunately quite expensive but it's so worth it. I like being able to talk to her about everything that's on my mind and knowing that my feelings are valid and that everything will be okay and I can sort things out. It's just nice to have someone understand what's going on inside your head. Being depressed is difficult and it's a battle I have fought for quite some time now. It feels like it is never-ending but on days like today, it feels like it's a bit more bearable and it feels like I can get through this and I can be happy.
radioloves
Senior Member
I hope you are feeling okay today! I'm not diagnosed with anything, though this is my assumption I haven't actually been to a doctor and got my scans done or anything. I think going through depression is hard for anyone especially getting older because everything is more tough and advanced and usually lies under survival. I think deep down inside we all have some kind of illness or problems whether we know it or not, just some people may hide it well, people don't know about it but suspect, we all aren't that perfect so deffinaetly have down falls for many things Dx
PastelPrincess
피곤하고 내부
As a diagnosed bipolar (frequent mania episodes, have never had a depressive episode) and schizophrenic I feel like people constantly make me feel like I'm crazy, which I'm honestly now. Those with depression have a huge community of help but if I even mention my bipolar or schizophrenia people will call me crazy or say "That's cool just don't kill me okay?" or "Don't come near ME IF YOU HAVEN"T TAKEN YOUR MEDS" and it's quite hurtful. Now, while I probably will never fully understand what a person with depression feels I am just very upset towards the hostility towards those with any other kind mental illnesses. I didn't ask to be like this and I'm most definitely faking it for attention. I feel like we need a better support group for people with mental illnesses other than just depression.
@pastelprincess so sad. there's so much stigma and uninformed preconceptions towards this. sorry you have to go through that on top of mental illness. its so important to keep conversation going on these topics and make it possible for people to be open about their experiences without judgement. it's so damaging and traumatising for people with mental illness to be considered or treated like a threat. 
hope you'll get all the love and support you deserve and don't silence yourself to make people comfortable around you. there are people that can understand.
hope you'll get all the love and support you deserve and don't silence yourself to make people comfortable around you. there are people that can understand.
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if life seems meangless and you can't function in it as things are, you need to pause and ignore everything and focus on yourself. there's no point investing energy and wasting time in trying to make things work and worry about others and feeling immeasureable guilt. breathe in and meditate (i know it sounds silly, but it really helps finding your center and your calm spot if everything else is spinning endlessly. meditating helped me a LOT trying not to lose myself.). you can't change everything and you don't have to. there's lots of people who you can probably help in the future by just being around and understanding, after all you've been through. use your empathy for good and don't forget investing in yourself. i know this world is very messy, but there's so much beauty and hope everywhere you just need to open your heart, don't miss out. you can too change the world with the tiniest things, one hug and smile at a time. we can only do something about this world if we don't give up. <3
take breaks from people that make you feel guilty about expressing yourself fully, even if they don't intend it. if tumblr or a social media makes you anxious and feel bad, delete or disable these things for a while till you can catch yourself again. change the music you listen to, to something that doesnt make you more anxious. there's lots of beautiful calming music around (some of my favorites being The New Spring, Kumisolo and Rue Royale, but there are a lot of musicians in underground music dealing with mental illness topics in their lyrics and melodies)
hope this helps and don't give up hope, there's no point. if you can't change it anyway you might as well have fun! ^^
- - - Post Merge - - -
true.
i'm happy for you! stay strong and dazzling
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I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and Severe-Emetophobia, I stopped going to Public school because of it. I became depressed and suicidal. I tried keeping it a secret from everyone except for my mom, she took me to therapy and tried curing my depression and anxiety. I'm glad not to be depressed anymore but occasionally I won't want anyone to talk to me and I just want to cry.
Alot of people will say "I wish I was online-schooled like you!" and I get defensive because I don't like being online-schooled, I want social interaction and to see the people in real life. Not over Skype or the Internet. That's my story.
Alot of people will say "I wish I was online-schooled like you!" and I get defensive because I don't like being online-schooled, I want social interaction and to see the people in real life. Not over Skype or the Internet. That's my story.
i suffer from depression (started maybe in fourth or fifth grade). i almost always feel my life has no meaning and there's nothing to live for, but antidepressants have actually helped a lot. i still always have that thought in my head, though, no matter how happy i am.
i've never attempted to take my own life because i always think about how devastated my parents would be, but i do remember considering killing myself. i used to cut myself back in sixth grade or so.
i've never attempted to take my own life because i always think about how devastated my parents would be, but i do remember considering killing myself. i used to cut myself back in sixth grade or so.
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nerdatheart9490
Pokemon Professor
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Although I didn't suffer abuse, I also have mental illness. I started showing symptoms of depression at age 12 or so, and went numb for years. To the point where my therapists have had to reteach me how to feel and express emotions. My 7th grade history teacher recommended me to the school counselor, which got me into the therapy system. I've had 3 therapist, but unfortunately I keep having to quit because my medical coverage doesn't cover the sessions.
I go through periods where I get worse and want to kill myself. I'm going through one of those times right now. Where there is nothing worth living for. Where I am worthless and my family would be better off without me. Where I can't handle stress and I wish I could go numb again. But I know that if I power through it, I'll get to another period where I'm happy to be alive again.
I would suggest talking to someone ASAP. A therapist. Your physician, a family member, a friend. You can also talk to people online like you are now. Many people are willing to help others, because they know what it's like to be a teenager with mental illness. Just make sure you're talking to the right people. There are some forums that encourage negative behaviors, like self-harm and suicide. But there are many, many websites where people will help you.
Good luck. Remember, there are people in the world who want you to live and be happy.
I go through periods where I get worse and want to kill myself. I'm going through one of those times right now. Where there is nothing worth living for. Where I am worthless and my family would be better off without me. Where I can't handle stress and I wish I could go numb again. But I know that if I power through it, I'll get to another period where I'm happy to be alive again.
I would suggest talking to someone ASAP. A therapist. Your physician, a family member, a friend. You can also talk to people online like you are now. Many people are willing to help others, because they know what it's like to be a teenager with mental illness. Just make sure you're talking to the right people. There are some forums that encourage negative behaviors, like self-harm and suicide. But there are many, many websites where people will help you.
Good luck. Remember, there are people in the world who want you to live and be happy.
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
lmao bumping this thread because why not
i've recently gotten two different medications that are supposed to help w my anxiety but they dont really work :< they only make me tired af. the first one tasted horrible and after i took it i slept for 12 hours and the entire next day was a blur and i couldnt really do anything. the other one wasnt as bad but i slept for 10 hours or so and then i didnt have any energy the next day. neither helped with my anxiety but my doctor says that i should keep taking them because she thinks it's better to be tired than to be feeling awful .. idk how i feel about that but whatevr
also swimming is coming up in school in a few weeks and idk how i will handle it.... if you dont participate you get an f in gym class but i cant really wear swimwear due to scars so i dont really know what to do about that thing.., does anyone have any suggestions or anything??
i'm thinking about maybe swimming w clothes that cover my arms and legs but ..... thats kind of weird..... but maybe it's better than failing gym class i dunno..,,,
i've recently gotten two different medications that are supposed to help w my anxiety but they dont really work :< they only make me tired af. the first one tasted horrible and after i took it i slept for 12 hours and the entire next day was a blur and i couldnt really do anything. the other one wasnt as bad but i slept for 10 hours or so and then i didnt have any energy the next day. neither helped with my anxiety but my doctor says that i should keep taking them because she thinks it's better to be tired than to be feeling awful .. idk how i feel about that but whatevr
also swimming is coming up in school in a few weeks and idk how i will handle it.... if you dont participate you get an f in gym class but i cant really wear swimwear due to scars so i dont really know what to do about that thing.., does anyone have any suggestions or anything??
i'm thinking about maybe swimming w clothes that cover my arms and legs but ..... thats kind of weird..... but maybe it's better than failing gym class i dunno..,,,
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