# Does anyone else despise being a homosexual?



## Titi (Oct 6, 2015)

I've known about my sexuality for a very long time now, and it still feels like a stab in the stomach every single time I tell a friend or someone finds out. I have not told my parents yet either (even though I'm sure they suspect it), to the great despair of the girlfriends I have had. 

It's not at all that I'm afraid of hate or discrimination, I'm lucky enough to live in a very tolerant and open minded environment, and I know for a fact my parents would be fine with it.

In fact it's quite the opposite. I don't want it to be celebrated, don't want to deal with the attention, I don't want to be "that girl who's gay", I don't want to be special or out of the ordinary. I already feel like I'm too different and really, really don't want to add onto it, even though I know it would be accepted. I don't want it to be part of my identity and an adjective that describes who I am.

Does anyone else feel the same or has had this feeling before? If so how do you deal with it?

 It's a pain because I can't fight it (though I wish I could) but I really don't want it to be a thing. It's been making be very anxious lately because I've been dating a girl that knows people that know my family, etc... And I'm afraid the information will eventually make its way up to my parents.

I'm asking here because I know there's a pretty big LGBTQ community, and I'm not in any forums or communities directly related to it, as like I said, I want nothing to do with it all.


----------



## Ghost Soda (Oct 6, 2015)

Nope. I know that if someone judges me based on my sexuality, that it's their problem. But anyways, you're being paranoid. I highly doubt people are going to throw a party or anything because you told them you're gay.

Also, it sounds like you have some internalized homophobia to deal with.


----------



## Corrie (Oct 6, 2015)

It's funny because a lot of the time from what I've seen, people enjoy being special or different. I'm sorry you don't like it though. :C There's nothing wrong with you and sexuality is something that you cannot control.


----------



## radical6 (Oct 6, 2015)

i hate being transgender and gay and mentally ill its a bad lifestyle and i constantly want to kill myself so yes


----------



## Nuclear Bingo (Oct 6, 2015)

What an intriguing perspective... While I am not homosexual I agree with just wanting to be "normal". I'm not saying it isn't normal nor am I saying anything is wrong with it. Just building off of your post, OP Titi. I think it's disgusting when people go out of their way to be "different" or self advertise as being unique. I too, just want to be dust in the wind. 

now is it you don't like being homosexual because you don't like the connotation and responses associated with such, or you simply just wish you were not homosexual?


----------



## kayleee (Oct 6, 2015)

I am not a homosexual so no

but I think you are just overthinking it. but if you really don't want anyone to "make a big deal" about it, start by not making a big deal about it yourself. don't have a big reveal to your parents/family/etc. just act like yourself and bring home girlfriends and make out with them or whatever and they will just be like "oh you're gay?" and be like "yeah" 

and then just tell them you don't want it made into a big deal. idk that's what I would do


----------



## Trundle (Oct 6, 2015)

I think the issue here is more that you care so much what people think of you. In reality, what others think of you is completely irrelevant and you should really work on knowing that. Focus your mind away from what is wrong / could go wrong / makes you feel wrong.

"If you look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all you’ll ever see." - Iroh


----------



## pastellrain (Oct 6, 2015)

I'm not straight and I'm really afraid of my parents finding out, my dad especially. I don't want to disappoint them. Even though there should be no reason for them to get disappointed, well... our parents were raised in a different society and may not be okay with it.

I really understand how you're feeling actually. When I first came out online 3 years ago, I mentioned how I really hated the word "lesbian" and I didn't want it to be a part of my identity.

Part of me actually still feels like this, despite having my moments of pride here and there... ultimately I just want it to be called "normal" instead of "homosexual"

It really sucks that the words "homosexual", "lesbian" and "gay" have such a heavy, "edgy" and even taboo image attatched to them. Sometimes I don't even like to call myself that because it makes it sound like I'm some sort of "messed up oddity" :x

If you're ever feeling down, the LGBT+ community is very understanding and will always be there to help. Good luck 

EDIT: I do say that "I'm gay" jokingly, mostly online or places with accepting or other LGBT+ people. But in real life and offline, I feel different about being gay


----------



## Akira-chan (Oct 6, 2015)

Me having the curse being aromantic (not feeling romantic love towards others) means I can't love my best friend who's told me he likes me that way. I hate being that way as well since im basically hurting people. Its hard to be the way you are but the fact is, we can't change that. Its hard to accept who you are (hell i can't even look myself in any reflection anymore!) but  its a long journey and tough. No one can change who you are, what you do, or who you love. you don't have to fit in. Because (even though stupid people are mostly popular) It doesn't matter, you don't have to be the same person as everyone else to be kind, loving and cheerful! Hopefuly you can do much more than i can in this type of situation. (i cope with video games and its hurting me because i tend to screw my life up that way) Good luck!


----------



## meo (Oct 6, 2015)

Maybe because the problem lies in people trying to label themselves too much...
If you don't want a label, don't choose a label.

How I feel for a person and what makes me want a relationship with them is not dependent on their gender. However, I'm also not going to label it because there's no need for me to. You can support equality and not label yourself if you so choose.
I had a relationship with a woman for awhile. We just connected really well but sadly...it wasn't the healthiest of relationships and we made better friends. If I did end up with a woman to the point it was serious enough for family/friends to be involved...then I would want to share that new addition to my life not because of the label but because they're family/friends.

I agree with others in that...maybe you need time to really think over how you feel and even come to accept whom you are and whom you're not. No one is normal. No one. There's nothing wrong with that either. 
Be who you feel you are, give no explanations where explanations aren't needed, and enjoy life. Life is too short to make it too complicated on yourself.


----------



## Sansa (Oct 6, 2015)

At first I wasn't going to respond, but you know what, sure.  

While I don't despise it, I have identified as bisexual for quite a while, and I'm kind of in the same boat as you.  I really appreciate all the groups out there that have done so much work for other sexualities, and yet I just don't particularly like talking about my own.  It has nothing to do with shame or discrimination, I just really don't like the attention I get for it.

That said, it might be worth telling your parents about if you know they're supportive.  It might mean a lot to them to know that you can be open with something like that when a lot of others cannot.  You can always say that it's the kind of thing that you don't really want to discuss, but perhaps thank them for being understanding and whatnot.  

It does sound a little bit as though you're worried about what people think of you, but to be honest, everyone has their own lives, family, and friends, and there's only so much to keep track of, your homosexuality is probably not going to make as much an impact as you think (after all, something like 1 in 10...).


----------



## piichinu (Oct 6, 2015)

well im not homosexual but im asexual
tbh i dont mind at all but whats annoying is when ppl are like "wen u find the rite won sweaty ("
and i guess explaining it is annoying.

so no idk how to deal w that feeling. itll probably go away eventually


----------



## Dinosaur~Wolf (Oct 7, 2015)

I honestly am not Homosexual, but I think that both sexualities are completely acceptable.
I saw a YouTube video that was very eye-opening.. It made me cry. I don't remember the exact name but I'll give a brief summary:
In the video, being Homosexual was saw as 'Right' everywhere (not saying its wrong! But you know there are homophobic people which is stupid considering a person is a person) and being Heterosexual is found wrong.. It was very, very sad and I cried a lot. It made me realize how bad bullying about that type of subject is, and I was extremely saddened by it.

Again, no, I don't think you should feel like that. If someone asks you don't shy away, blush, try to hide. Say yes. I know this one kid who is homosexual and he is awesome. cx Be yourself. I know that saying gets so oooollldddd but its true beyond words. if people judge they have a problem..


----------



## Titi (Oct 7, 2015)

Thanks everyone for the responses, most of them are very useful and definitely gave me some stuff to think about. It's also nice to see that I'm not the only one in this situation.

To touch on a few points: 

- No I don't have any internalized homophobia. This is quite offensive actually. I'm fine with the LGBT community, I find what they are doing for their rights amazing, I support them completely. I just don't feel like I belong in it. I feel that it's the wrong thing for _me_, it has nothing to do with how I view homosexuality in general.

- The connotations and responses associated is mostly why I don't feel comfortable about it. Both positive and negative opinions about it exhaust me. If it was considered exactly  like being straight, not better or worse of different, it would probably be much easier to deal with. Although frankly I'd still prefer to be straight.

- I wish I could tell my parents like it's no big deal, but I know it will be. And I know that after I do their vision of me will change, even if slightly, and I don't want that.

- Yes, of course I worry about what people think of me. People I know. Anyone who says they don't is in denial or does not have any close relationships.

- Labelling myself too much: I agree, but you can't really get away with not doing it in the real world. People you hang out with are going to ask eventually, or find out, and want a concrete answer.

In the end it feels like being gay is such a fad, _the _big thing right now, and I have too much on my plate to deal with that too, and make it a part of my bundle if that makes any sense... I feel that if it becomes something totally normal and unworthy of special attention (be it positive or negative) in the near future, then I'll be more open about it. For now I can't, but it's making me miserable.


----------



## RainCrossing (Oct 7, 2015)

I would hate it being gay ;-;.


----------



## rubyy (Oct 7, 2015)

it's 2015 no one really cares anymore whether you're straight, gay or bisexual like it's pretty normal now when someone announces they're gay, no one really makes a big deal of it anymore so don't worry, if you're gay then so be it, can't change who you really are so don't hide it (


----------



## Celestefey (Oct 7, 2015)

In all honesty I totally agree with you. I've considered myself bisexual for a few years now (before I just never really knew what I was), but I'm really afraid to come out to anyone. I've only come out online, I suppose, maybe because of anonymity, but also if people hated me for who I was I could easily block them - plus there are a lot of people on the internet who are also in the same shoes as me.

I feel terrified to even want to come out to anyone. I just want to say, yeah, I'm bisexual, and that's that, I just like who I like and that's the end of the story. I know a lot of people are saying that it isn't a big deal to come out, but... It is. I mean, it is if you have parents who say homophobic things and show disgust at anyone who is not heterosexual. I'd feel like a complete failure to them both, but I can't help who I am. I wish that it wasn't a big deal. I wish that it was considered normal by society entirely so that if I was to date another girl, people wouldn't assume things about me or say homophobic things, people wouldn't even bat an eyelid. But for some reason it still isn't accepted very widely across society. Yes, we are much more tolerant and accepting than we used to be, but... There's still some problems. The fact that I even have to come out is ridiculous. I shouldn't just be assumed to be heterosexual. People should just think how we'll like who we like and that's it. It would be easier to not have to put labels on things like sexuality, but of course we have to do it because people don't always understand.

I totally understand where you're coming from. And it is so tough. But I think if your parents would be accepting of your sexuality, I'd definitely tell them if I were you. Just letting everyone know, letting people in and letting it just become a part of your life and a part of other peoples lives will help it to become more natural. You're lucky that you have accepting parents, so it will make it much more easy for you.


----------



## Xerolin (Oct 7, 2015)

I personally would never be homosexual, since it a sin and im Christan. Not trying to hate or anything btw. So my big sister is pansexual, leaning towards girls. But she doesn't even know that i know. She seems just like anyone else I've ever met except that she's awesome. People can like who they want. Btw this is a very smart 11 year-old speaking.


----------



## Ghost Soda (Oct 7, 2015)

> - Labelling myself too much: I agree, but you can't really get away with not doing it in the real world. People you hang out with are going to ask eventually, or find out, and want a concrete answer.



If someone asks, is there any legitimate reason _at all_ you can't just tell them to mind their own? Any? Nobody _needs_ to know what you do in your personal life.



> - I wish I could tell my parents like it's no big deal, but I know it will be. And I know that after I do their vision of me will change, even if slightly, and I don't want that.



Why?



KawaiiLotus said:


> I personally would never be homosexual, since it a sin and im Christan.









You don't choose if you're homosexual, ffs.


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

KawaiiLotus said:


> I personally would never be homosexual, since it a sin and im Christan. Not trying to hate or anything btw. So my big sister is pansexual, leaning towards girls. But she doesn't even know that i know. She seems just like anyone else I've ever met except that she's awesome. People can like who they want. Btw this is a very smart 11 year-old speaking.



i'm a bit confused whether you're against homosexuality or not. people are allowed to like who they want, but it's also a sin? for a very smart 11 year old, you could be a bit clearer.
sorry if I sound rude, I just can't get my head around it.


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Ghost Soda said:


> You don't choose if you're homosexual, ffs.



hate to argue, but you do choose... i dont want to be 'that guy' and start a big ordeal, but because of sin nature we make ourselves into thinking that we are 'born with it'.

Just know that I don't hate homosexuals, in fact I'm called to love them and I have family that is homosexual, but I don't accept it, and because people (esp Christians) don't accept or believe that homosexuality is acceptable, we are mocked and despised and called haters and shone in a bad light. We are just stating what we believe, just like you guys are.


----------



## Ghost Soda (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> hate to argue, but you do choose... i dont want to be 'that guy' and start a big ordeal, but because of sin nature we make ourselves into thinking that we are 'born with it'.
> 
> Just know that I don't hate homosexuals, in fact I'm called to love them and I have family that is homosexual, but I don't accept it, and because people (esp Christians) don't accept or believe that homosexuality is acceptable, we are mocked and despised and called haters and shone in a bad light. We are just stating what we believe, just like you guys are.



So gays just get up one morning and think "hey, maybe I'll be gay so people I know will hate my guts! " Really?


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> hate to argue, but you do choose... i dont want to be 'that guy' and start a big ordeal, but because of sin nature we make ourselves into thinking that we are 'born with it'.
> 
> Just know that I don't hate homosexuals, in fact I'm called to love them and I have family that is homosexual, but I don't accept it, and because people (esp Christians) don't accept or believe that homosexuality is acceptable, we are mocked and despised and called haters and shone in a bad light. We are just stating what we believe, just like you guys are.



I can appreciate your beliefs, but how do you love homosexuals but not accept it? to love homosexuality, isn't that similar or in correlation to the acceptance of it?
again, I appreciate your beliefs but it's slightly contradictory! 
personally I believe people are born that way, just as they progress through life they discover the concept. I mean, a 5 year old isn't just going to think 'holy balls i'm gay', probably because their minds aren't developed enough to wrap around, or haven't discovered the concept of being gay, and once they reach the age where they have come to terms with the idea of being gay, they realise that's what they've identified as all along. get my jist? just my two cents. I can appreciate your input too


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> hate to argue, but you do choose... i dont want to be 'that guy' and start a big ordeal, but because of sin nature we make ourselves into thinking that we are 'born with it'.
> 
> Just know that I don't hate homosexuals, in fact I'm called to love them and I have family that is homosexual, but I don't accept it, and because people (esp Christians) don't accept or believe that homosexuality is acceptable, we are mocked and despised and called haters and shone in a bad light. We are just stating what we believe, just like you guys are.



How do you love but not accept?


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Ghost Soda said:


> So gays just get up one morning and think "hey, maybe I'll be gay so people I know will hate my guts! " Really?



What I believe is that humankind were created to be in man/woman relationships. There are different reasons for people to 'become' homosexual, but because of our society pushing so hard for LGBT acceptance, people just fit right in without a doubt.




pumpkins said:


> I can appreciate your beliefs, but how do you love homosexuals but not accept it? to love homosexuality, isn't that similar or in correlation to the acceptance of it?
> again, I appreciate your beliefs but it's slightly contradictory!
> personally I believe people are born that way, just as they progress through life they discover the concept. I mean, a 5 year old isn't just going to think 'holy balls i'm gay', probably because their minds aren't developed enough to wrap around, or haven't discovered the concept of being gay, and once they reach the age where they have come to terms with the idea of being gay, they realise that's what they've identified as all along. get my jist? just my two cents. I can appreciate your input too


To love a person is different than loving what they identify/believe in. I don't love homosexuality, but I love the person. I don't think that homosexuality is a trait if that is what you mean.

As for the other part, like I told Ghost soda because of the quick wave of LGBT acceptance, it is much easier to fall into the belief that you are homosexual.

The whole thing has to come down to worldview. I stand from a Christian worldview and believe that homosexuality is wrong, but we are to love and reach out to people with a homosexual standpoint as Christ reached out to all mankind.


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> How do you love but not accept?



Not sure if this will help but giving an example by replacing homosexuality with something like smoking:

You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy them cigarettes.


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

crystalmilktea said:


> Not sure if this will help but giving an example but replacing homosexuality with something like smokning:
> 
> You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy them cigarettes.



Huuuuuuh
Buy them with cigarettes? What


----------



## Ghost Soda (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> What I believe is that humankind were created to be in man/woman relationships. There are different reasons for people to 'become' homosexual, but because of our society pushing so hard for LGBT acceptance, people just fit right in without a doubt.
> 
> To love a person is different than loving what they identify/believe in. I don't love homosexuality, but I love the person. I don't think that homosexuality is a trait if that is what you mean.
> 
> ...



_You're an idiot._

What about people who live in places where being homosexual can get you beaten and killed? Or people that live with a family that hates them for being gay? What about before LGBT was a thing? Did people then f***ing choose to be hated and killed for who they like?


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> Huuuuuuh
> Buy them with cigarettes? What



You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy them cigarettes.
You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy into homosexuality.


----------



## Sugilite (Oct 7, 2015)

crystalmilktea said:


> Not sure if this will help but giving an example by replacing homosexuality with something like smokning:
> 
> You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy them cigarettes.




Lol this made no sense. You basically saying lol I'm sad you're smoking but here some cigarettes


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> What I believe is that humankind were created to be in man/woman relationships. There are different reasons for people to 'become' homosexual, but because of our society pushing so hard for LGBT acceptance, people just fit right in without a doubt.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I think that's a nice way to go about it. I think sometimes people abuse the acceptance of the LGBT community as well. I know a lot of people who pretend they're gay because they think it makes them cool and edgy and take advantage of a community that has fought for acceptance. I wouldn't assume they were just pretending, they just told everyone that they changed their mind.
thanks for your input.



crystalmilktea said:


> Not sure if this will help but giving an example but replacing homosexuality with something like smokning:
> 
> You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy them cigarettes.



I still don't see why anyone would think it's a sin, and that you should be able to love anyone you want without getting killed for it, but it's a good insight on the thought process behind it so thank you.

I agree with Ghost Soda, but it's a lot better than hating homosexuality and those that are homosexual. I guess you can't change someone's beliefs.


----------



## Halloqueen (Oct 7, 2015)

KawaiiLotus said:


> I personally would never be homosexual, since it a sin and im Christan. Not trying to hate or anything btw. So my big sister is pansexual, leaning towards girls. But she doesn't even know that i know. She seems just like anyone else I've ever met except that she's awesome. People can like who they want. Btw this is a very smart 11 year-old speaking.


Even if homosexuality was a choice, which it is not, no one is free of sin if you follow that religion. No matter what you do, by having been born, you are sinful. People commit sins every day, sometimes without knowing it. If you're faithful in your religion and repent your sins, what is supposed to make any one sin more damning than any other? The important part of the religion is accepting and loving everyone as your equal. Judge not lest ye be judged, as God is supposed to be the ultimate authority and the only one to lay down judgment. 


Anyway, I'm trans but I haven't made the transition yet. I honestly don't know whether I ever will because I don't want to deal with endangering my job or my life. It's kind of unfortunate to know you're not as you feel you're meant to be, but even if I cannot outwardly reflect that, as long as I can accept myself then I am happy. If society matures and grows more accepting in the coming years, maybe I'll see what I can do about aligning my body with my mind. Until then, I'd like not to starve, go homeless, or be murdered by some bigot.


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

Sugilite said:


> Lol this made no sense. You basically saying lol I'm sad you're smoking but here some cigarettes



What the heck why are people reading what I said wrong @_@
I said "NOT BUY THEM CIGARETTES" ;___;

You can also love them by treating homosexuals like any other person, but if you don't accept it you just don't be homosexual yourself.


----------



## Sugilite (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy them cigarettes.
> You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy into homosexuality.



Respect and love are two different things bro
I can respect you doesn't mean I have to like you


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Ghost Soda said:


> _You're an idiot._
> 
> What about people who live in places where being homosexual can get you beaten and killed? Or people that live with a family that hates them for being gay? What about before LGBT was a thing? Did people then f***ing choose to be hated and killed for who they like?



And I can't state my opinion without getting insulted why? Because if I don't agree with everything you say I'm an idiot. Logic? No.

I am speaking for myself. I am not in the middle east where I am beating up gays, I do not live in a family that hates them for being gay, and to be honest I don't believe that I would ever think about harming a gay person. I can't speak for them and quite honestly I don't think that those people that are doing those things are Christians.


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy them cigarettes.
> You can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy into homosexuality.




Ooh okay 
Like you can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy into Christianity.
I got ya. Talking snakes, yeah.
I can't really love someone I don't know. Same with respect. There's probably some type of moral but nah.


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Sugilite said:


> Respect and love are two different things bro
> I can respect you doesn't mean I have to like you



???


----------



## Sugilite (Oct 7, 2015)

ZombifiedHorror said:


> Even if homosexuality was a choice, which it is not, no one is free of sin if you follow that religion. No matter what you do, by having been born, you are sinful. People commit sins every day, sometimes without knowing it. If you're faithful in your religion and repent your sins, what is supposed to make any one sin more damning than any other? The important part of the religion is accepting and loving everyone as your equal. Judge not lest ye be judged, as God is supposed to be the ultimate authority and the only one to lay down judgment.
> 
> 
> Anyway, I'm trans but I haven't made the transition yet. I honestly don't know whether I ever will because I don't want to deal with endangering my job or my life. It's kind of unfortunate to know you're not as you feel you're meant to be, but even if I cannot outwardly reflect that, as long as I can accept myself then I am happy. If society matures and grows more accepting in the coming years, maybe I'll see what I can do about aligning my body with my mind. Until then, I'd like not to starve, go homeless, or be murdered by some bigot.



PREACH.YAS

- - - Post Merge - - -



The Hidden Owl said:


> ???




Rolls eyes


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> Ooh okay
> Like you can still treat them like every other human being with love and respect, but not buy into Christianity.
> I got ya. Talking snakes, yeah.
> I can't really love someone I don't know. Same with respect. There's probably some type of moral but nah.



I think you're taking the term "love" way too seriously. Not love as in the way of 'I like you so much omfg' but love as in treat others well ("Love your neighbour as you love yourself" kinda thing - this is definitely not only a Christian thing). I know in Christianity there's a thing where it's encouraged to "love your enemies", and it wouldn't be in the way you're thinking.


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Sugilite said:


> Rolls eyes



By love I mean a loving attitude...


----------



## Ghost Soda (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> And I can't state my opinion without getting insulted why? Because if I don't agree with everything you say I'm an idiot. Logic? No.
> 
> I am speaking for myself. I am not in the middle east where I am beating up gays, I do not live in a family that hates them for being gay, and to be honest I don't believe that I would ever think about harming a gay person. I can't speak for them and quite honestly I don't think that those people that are doing those things are Christians.



You're not just stating an opinion, you're acting like your harmful opinion on homosexuality being a choice is fact and I'm telling you why that's a giant load of bs. I apologize for the harsh language but that fact that people still think in this day and age that homosexuality is like a light switch that can be turned on and off is stupid.

I never said you were doing those things, I'm using them for examples as to why people wouldn't want to be gay yet still are because IT'S NOT A CHOICE.


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

ZombifiedHorror said:


> Even if homosexuality was a choice, which it is not, no one is free of sin if you follow that religion. No matter what you do, by having been born, you are sinful. People commit sins every day, sometimes without knowing it. If you're faithful in your religion and repent your sins, what is supposed to make any one sin more damning than any other? The important part of the religion is accepting and loving everyone as your equal. Judge not lest ye be judged, as God is supposed to be the ultimate authority and the only one to lay down judgment.
> 
> 
> Anyway, I'm trans but I haven't made the transition yet. I honestly don't know whether I ever will because I don't want to deal with endangering my job or my life. It's kind of unfortunate to know you're not as you feel you're meant to be, but even if I cannot outwardly reflect that, as long as I can accept myself then I am happy. If society matures and grows more accepting in the coming years, maybe I'll see what I can do about aligning my body with my mind. Until then, I'd like not to starve, go homeless, or be murdered by some bigot.



I really hope people will accept you for who you are and that you can be yourself while also being able to provide for yourself.


----------



## himeki (Oct 7, 2015)

piichinu said:


> well im not homosexual but im asexual
> tbh i dont mind at all but whats annoying is when ppl are like "wen u find the rite won sweaty ("
> and i guess explaining it is annoying.
> 
> so no idk how to deal w that feeling. itll probably go away eventually


gotta agree with you on that tbh, since everyone just says that people who are asexual are just "people who can't get a date" psses me off to no end.


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Ghost Soda said:


> You're not just stating an opinion, you're acting like your harmful opinion on homosexuality being a choice is fact and I'm telling you why that's a giant load of bs. I apologize for the harsh language but that fact that people still think in this day and age that homosexuality is like a light switch that can be turned on and off is stupid.
> 
> I never said you were doing those things, I'm using them for examples as to why people wouldn't want to be gay yet still are because IT'S NOT A CHOICE.



Like I said, its my opinion and what you choose to believe is on you.


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

Okay so anyways
This is way off topic and I don't want this thread getting closed down over religious beliefs cause I am hella rude and I have a lot of questions that will sound rude but not intended. 

So the question is, does anyone depise being homosexual? As in a homosexual stand point. Not, well I have a loving attitude towards homosexual and my religion. Glad you wanted to state you opinion but you're burying your own grave. That's common sense.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also if homosexuality is a choice 
So is choosing whether you'll be straight u vu
A gray topic.


----------



## Halloqueen (Oct 7, 2015)

pumpkins said:


> I really hope people will accept you for who you are and that you can be yourself while also being able to provide for yourself.


Thank you very much.  I appreciate the sentiment.


----------



## Celestefey (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> Like I said, its my opinion and what you choose to believe is on you.



I don't understand, though. No one chooses to be homosexual. In my case, I always liked girls, even before I knew bisexuality was a thing. Then, suddenly, I learned it was actually a thing and I began to identify with that. I did not CHOOSE to be bisexual. I WAS always bisexual. I didn't decide one day I was going to wake up and like girls as well. It just happened, it was always there. You can't force your love for someone, you can't say to yourself you'll choose to like girls or boys or anyone else. It's just so.. Stupid to even think that, sorry.

And secondly, if you're a Christian, then here is a flaw for you with your religion. If all human beings were made in God's image and God created them that way, then why are there homosexuals then if God is so against it? I'm not religious myself and don't believe in any sort of deity but honestly going by this logic I would say that God always intended for humans to be that way, he intended for some of us to be homosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc etc. So you should be able to accept that, shouldn't you? It's a part of God's creation after all. 

I'm not even religious. But I think you should just accept everyone for who they are. It doesn't matter who they love or who they'll end up having sex with in the end. That's their own business, and it doesn't affect us as human beings. We're all human beings, and we're all different. We should be embracing our differences. And I would have thought on such a diverse forum with so many people on here from all different backgrounds and cultures, that we would be able to celebrate this and appreciate one another. But maybe not.


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

ZombifiedHorror said:


> Thank you very much.  I appreciate the sentiment.



that's okay, it's a shame people have to be low-key about their identity just because people are so bigoted. you have my greatest support!


----------



## Sugilite (Oct 7, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> Okay so anyways
> This is way off topic and I don't want this thread getting closed down over religious beliefs cause I am hella rude and I have a lot of questions that will sound rude but not intended.
> 
> So the question is, does anyone depise being homosexual? As in a homosexual stand point. Not, well I have a loving attitude towards homosexual and my religion. Glad you wanted to state you opinion but you're burying your own grave. That's common sense.



Lol exactly. Like everyone talking about common sense but the title is broad as ever, pretty sure this was towards other homosexuals and their self opinion on themselves and potentially a way to break thst negativity 
Not straight people and their opinions on dating a guy or not, or your religion or even your damn opinion to tell someone where they should be 

But anyways 
I believe your sexuality is your choice 
You weren't in the womb like " aye Ima bang this girl" you didn't even know what a girl was 
You came out and set your mindset in saying I like her or him
People change everyday, people desires change onto some thing else 
So who is anyone to judge when you don't even know what their going through 
Lol everyone keeps citing the bible like the thirst page said " God hated gays remember that" 
But on the other side it says you must get married before doing anything sexual 
But yet people spread they legs faster then that but gays are bad lol

Just try to love yourself boo, who are you going to spend the rest of your life with? Yourself 
So where does these people opinions who aren't even going to see you in the rest of your life line up at? No where


----------



## The Hidden Owl (Oct 7, 2015)

Celestefey said:


> I don't understand, though. No one chooses to be homosexual. In my case, I always liked girls, even before I knew bisexuality was a thing. Then, suddenly, I learned it was actually a thing and I began to identify with that. I did not CHOOSE to be bisexual. I WAS always bisexual. I didn't decide one day I was going to wake up and like girls as well. It just happened, it was always there. You can't force your love for someone, you can't say to yourself you'll choose to like girls or boys or anyone else. It's just so.. Stupid to even think that, sorry.
> 
> And secondly, if you're a Christian, then here is a flaw for you with your religion. If all human beings were made in God's image and God created them that way, then why are there homosexuals then if God is so against it? I'm not religious myself and don't believe in any sort of deity but honestly going by this logic I would say that God always intended for humans to be that way, he intended for some of us to be homosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc etc. So you should be able to accept that, shouldn't you? It's a part of God's creation after all.
> 
> I'm not even religious. But I think you should just accept everyone for who they are. It doesn't matter who they love or who they'll end up having sex with in the end. That's their own business, and it doesn't affect us as human beings. We're all human beings, and we're all different. We should be embracing our differences. And I would have thought on such a diverse forum with so many people on here from all different backgrounds and cultures, that we would be able to celebrate this and appreciate one another. But maybe not.



God didn't create homosexuals, and it is even called a sin in the bible. Like I've stated, what you believe depends on your worldview and believe God's word to be true. In reality the issue is about sin and hell, and I didn't really want to take it here because who knows what will flare up about this, but because homosexuality is a sin, homosexuals are bound to hell. In fact ALL people are born bound to hell, homosexual or not. The only way not to go to hell is by believing that Christ died for your sins and live for Him.

God DOES NOT hate homosexuals, He loves them because he created them, but because God did not create homosexuality or any sin for that matter and because He is holy, He cannot accept any sin into heaven and has the right to do so since He created all things.


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> God didn't create homosexuals, and it is even called a sin in the bible. Like I've stated, what you believe depends on your worldview and believe God's word to be true. In reality the issue is about sin and hell, and I didn't really want to take it here because who knows what will flare up about this, but because homosexuality is a sin, homosexuals are bound to hell. In fact ALL people are born bound to hell, homosexual or not. The only way not to go to hell is by believing that Christ died for your sins and live for Him.
> 
> God DOES NOT hate homosexuals, He loves them because he created them, but because God did not create homosexuality or any sin for that matter and because He is holy, He cannot accept any sin into heaven and has the right to do so since He created all things.



what? so just because of someone's sexuality, they can't go to heaven?


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

I just love how Christians just believe they know God
Like they got him on speed dial or if he's walking down the street and they're like "aye God" -pulls out cross-
I'm pretty in the bible it mentions that you have to form your own relationship with God. For it takes time. Not off other people opinions. That's what you believe and this is what I believe. 
If you're saying that it's in the book, it in paper! Then tough luck cause not everything you read is true.
First Jesus was born in Egypt and had tan skin and was Jewish. But for some reason, he's white.
I think you're referring to that one passage that appeared as anti-gay, such as one man shall not lay with another when the topic was about temple prostitution. Or when Paul from the book of Romans state it's unnatural when it actually means uncommon.
But Paul also killed a lot of Christans before finding Jesus.

u vu


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

pumpkins said:


> what? so just because of someone's sexuality, they can't go to heaven?



not sure if The Hidden Owl has the same views as me, but everyone sins, and every sin is equal. I know of Christians who also identify as homosexual -- this gets foggy and I'm sure it also splits up the Christian community. There are gay Christians who carry on normally, but also gay Christians who refrain from doing any sexual activity (because that they can control, but they can't control their attraction) just like a nun would.

Back to the last line of The Hidden Owl's post "He cannot accept any sin into heaven" - because we all sin, we 'technically' do not deserve going to heaven. Every human is human and makes mistakes, and we're in a fallen state. Humans are not the greatest, we all know that. But acknowledging that God is the only one who can redeem us from our sins, and did so by coming down to earth then dying for us to pay the ultimate cost- that's what brings us back to him and into heaven.


----------



## Halloqueen (Oct 7, 2015)

The Hidden Owl said:


> God didn't create homosexuals, and it is even called a sin in the bible. Like I've stated, what you believe depends on your worldview and believe God's word to be true. In reality the issue is about sin and hell, and I didn't really want to take it here because who knows what will flare up about this, but because homosexuality is a sin, homosexuals are bound to hell. In fact ALL people are born bound to hell, homosexual or not. The only way not to go to hell is by believing that Christ died for your sins and live for Him.


Wearing clothes made of mixed fabric is also considered a sin, but no one considers it a damnable one anymore because it's impractical and ridiculous in today's world. What sins society deems more terrible than others changes as society changes and what was considered terrible a few hundred years ago isn't a big deal today. How many people do you see in America being put to death for committing adultery? You don't now, but you would see people getting killed by Puritans for supposed immorality.

Anyway, you complain that people label you a hater for your belief, but the efforts taken by many religious people to make LGBTQ lives less equal cannot be expected to be accepted without reciprocation. Of course if you're telling someone they can't marry who they love you're going to be looked at as an unreasonable jerk. 

There is supposed to be a separation of church and state, but attempting to ban people from exercising their right to love who they do is trying to take a democracy and make it a theocracy. If you are white and your significant other is black, do you feel the the belief that you shouldn't be able to get married is a valid one? People are out there who do not support interracial marriage. It's the same thing. You yourself may not go out of your way to strip people of their rights and happiness, but that doesn't mean other people who follow your religion aren't.


All of this is a moot point. No one's mind is going to change because people are hardwired not to change their beliefs so easily. The intention of the thread is for LGBTQ people to discuss whether or not they feel bad/sad/angry about having been born the way they are. It is not a place where people who are straight Christians come to air out their grievances with supposed persecution for their beliefs. That's a topic for a whole other thread, and honestly, no, you're not persecuted for your belief. It just seems that way because people don't go along with it and agree.


----------



## Sugilite (Oct 7, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> I just love how Christians just believe they know God
> Like they got him on speed dial or if he's walking down the street and they're like "aye God" -pulls out cross-
> I'm pretty in the bible it mentions that you have to form your own relationship with God. For it takes time. Not off other people opinions. That's what you believe and this is what I believe.
> If you're saying that it's in the book, it in paper! Then tough luck cause not everything you read is true.
> ...



AND BOOM THERE IT GOES


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

crystalmilktea said:


> not sure if The Hidden Owl has the same views as me, but everyone sins, and every sin is equal. I know of Christians who also identify as homosexual -- this gets foggy and I'm sure it also splits up the Christian community. There are gay Christians who carry on normally, but also gay Christians who refrain from doing any sexual activity (because that they can control, but they can't control their attraction) just like a nun would.
> 
> Back to the last line of The Hidden Owl's post "He cannot accept any sin into heaven" - because we all sin, we 'technically' do not deserve going to heaven. Every human is human and makes mistakes, and we're in a fallen state. Humans are not the greatest, we all know that. But acknowledging that God is the only one who can redeem us from our sins, and did so by coming down to earth then dying for us to pay the ultimate cost- that's what brings us back to him and into heaven.



I'm sorry, but I think my brain just farted.


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

pumpkins said:


> I'm sorry, but I think my brain just farted.



LOL ummm TL;DR I believe you can go to heaven despite your sexuality, cause yes it may be viewed as a sin but also lying is a sin, hating on people is a sin, basically humans all mess up but we still have a chance of going to heaven?



Sugilite said:


> Same



Is it just that you guys can't fathom how someone could be Christian and both LGBTQ? That's not up for me to discuss, as it's their beliefs and their way of life.


----------



## Titi (Oct 7, 2015)

I should have known this top?c would head this way. 
To the people saying it's a choice: If it was, I would be straight. Trust me, I've tried, and it's impossible to fight it without being absolutely miserable to the point where you don't want to live anymore.
If you strongly believe that it's a choice and you choose to be straight, congrats, you're bi.


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

Titi said:


> I should have known this top?c would head this way.
> To the people saying it's a choice: If it was, I would be straight. Trust me, I've tried, and it's impossible to fight it without being absolutely miserable to the point where you don't want to live anymore.
> If you strongly believe that it's a choice and you choose to be straight, congrats, you're bi.



Sorry that it did >.< I know I haven't been helping by contributing to the discussion.
I can't say that I feel the samy as you, or know anyone who does, but I really hope that you're able to get to a point to where you're comfortable with yourself! Maybe time is all it takes? :/ As someone else pointed out, things change drastically as you age.



Sugilite said:


> Lol ok



Wtf have I said to offend you? Someone asked a question, and I answered. If me just being a Christian (although I have said nothing about acceptance, homosexuality as a sin, choice, etc.), then I'm sorry my presence is bothering you.


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

crystalmilktea said:


> LOL ummm TL;DR I believe you can go to heaven despite your sexuality, cause yes it may be viewed as a sin but also lying is a sin, hating on people is a sin, basically humans all mess up but we still have a chance of going to heaven?
> 
> 
> 
> Is it just that you guys can't fathom how someone could be Christian and both LGBTQ? That's not up for me to discuss.




I think it just comes across as some dude floats down from the sky and won't let you into heaven because Christian belief and Biblical statements show that homosexuality is a sin and God frowns upon it.
your beliefs are your beliefs and that's okay. not to hate on them, I simply can't fathom such opinions on such a controversial issue! you mean well, though, and I appreciate it.


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

crystalmilktea said:


> Sorry that it did >.< I know I haven't been helping by contributing to the discussion.
> I can't say that I feel the samy as you, or know anyone who does, but I really hope that you're able to get to a point to where you're comfortable with yourself! Maybe time is all it takes? :/ As someone else pointed out, things change drastically as you age.
> 
> 
> ...



You being Christian isn't a problem, lol.
But you are giving off annoying vibes in all honestly.


----------



## Titi (Oct 7, 2015)

crystalmilktea said:


> Sorry that it did >.< I know I haven't been helping by contributing to the discussion.
> I can't say that I feel the samy as you, or know anyone who does, but I really hope that you're able to get to a point to where you're comfortable with yourself! Maybe time is all it takes? :/ As someone else pointed out, things change drastically as you age.



It's alright. Just goes to show whenever you bring up homosexuality debates and arguments ensue, regardless of the initial context. One more reason to want nothing to do with it whatsoever.


----------



## Esphas (Oct 7, 2015)

http://list25.com/25-normal-things-the-bible-forbids-but-we-still-do/

why is being gay such a sin to christians when most of these things arent? its just a way to discriminate. being homosexual is just as wrong as these things, which are not wrong to do at all


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

Titi said:


> It's alright. Just goes to show whenever you bring up homosexuality debates and arguments ensue, regardless of the initial context. One more reason to want nothing to do with it whatsoever.



back onto the topic on hand, you can't change who you are so you might as well deal with it and prioritise your own acceptance and well-being above other's opinions and perceptions of you.


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

pumpkins said:


> I think it just comes across as some dude floats down from the sky and won't let you into heaven because Christian belief and Biblical statements show that homosexuality is a sin and God frowns upon it.
> your beliefs are your beliefs and that's okay. not to hate on them, I simply can't fathom such opinions on such a controversial issue! you mean well, though, and I appreciate it.




Imagine what the Christians in the LGBTQ community feel like trying to explain to both non-Christians and Christians D: That's their life- they believe they can go to heaven and also keep their sexuality, but so many people probably tell them otherwise @_@

But thank you ;w; I saw you asking and I genuinely wanted to respond and let you know that I don't think it's like that


----------



## Sugilite (Oct 7, 2015)

Titi said:


> I should have known this top?c would head this way.
> To the people saying it's a choice: If it was, I would be straight. Trust me, I've tried, and it's impossible to fight it without being absolutely miserable to the point where you don't want to live anymore.
> If you strongly believe that it's a choice and you choose to be straight, congrats, you're bi.




Then all honesty you must sum down to love yourself and give no fcks about anyone opinion
If you strongly believe that this is who you are then roll with that 
People will always say sometime but not every action needs a reaction 
It's God's opinion not anyone else
I mean you're going to spend the rest of your life with who? You and yourself 
So why carry a burden off what others say when half of them don't even know **** about themselves, plus know what their talking about 
Til God comes in your dreams like change yourself then hmu
Until then *** what anyone has to say


----------



## Kanapachi (Oct 7, 2015)

We're not heroes. People who have the courage to come out as gay/trans are given respect, but shouldn't be treated as heroes. I don't like it when people tell me I'm amazing for being open about it (which I'm not, I don't feel comfortable telling people). It's nothing special. People who make effort in saving others or doing good things for society are heroes, not people who feel comfortable with being queer and coming out. I don't feel bad about it, I just don't think praise is something I should be receiving for something so minor and genetic.


----------



## crystalmilktea (Oct 7, 2015)

Titi said:


> It's alright. Just goes to show whenever you bring up homosexuality debates and arguments ensue, regardless of the initial context. One more reason to want nothing to do with it whatsoever.





pumpkins said:


> back onto the topic on hand, you can't change who you are so you might as well deal with it and prioritise your own acceptance and well-being above other's opinions and perceptions of you.



^ Yes, definitely think of yourself first! Unfortunately the internet will always be a breeding ground for debates ;w; but it's also a great resource to connect with others who are going along the same journey as you! Maybe having other LGBTQ people around (even just online) as friends, and just chatting will help you feel less like you stick out more? I saw there are some other users who feel the same way as you!


----------



## cIementine (Oct 7, 2015)

crystalmilktea said:


> Imagine what the Christians in the LGBTQ community feel like trying to explain to both non-Christians and Christians D: That's their life- they believe they can go to heaven and also keep their sexuality, but so many people probably tell them otherwise @_@
> 
> But thank you ;w; I saw you asking and I genuinely wanted to respond and let you know that I don't think it's like that



That definitely would be tough. I think regardless of situation; Christian or non-Christian, accepted or not, homosexuality is difficult for the person involved, and should be accepted universally.


----------



## Jacob (Oct 7, 2015)

u w u said:


> http://list25.com/25-normal-things-the-bible-forbids-but-we-still-do/
> 
> why is being gay such a sin to christians when these things arent? its just a way to discriminate. being gay is just as wrong as these things, which are not wrong to do at all



I know I should probably stay out of this because I know im gonna get drug back in or hate or whatever, but not all christians are against homosexual activity. Honestly, Im a christian and I don't agree w literally anything the church teaches about this stuff.
Its kinda like how some people are SUPER against women wearing sexy clothes, masturbation, p*rn, etc, but not everyone. Only really devout christians believe that being Homosexual is an actual sin because in all reality its not. God just happened to say somewhere that all people should "go out and multiply" and i guess that got to people's heads ?? Idk i think the church teachings are out dated so if I were you I wouldn't go accusing all christians, just the ******* insensitive christians


----------



## Titi (Oct 7, 2015)

Kanapachi said:


> We're not heroes. People who have the courage to come out as gay/trans are given respect, but shouldn't be treated as heroes. I don't like it when people tell me I'm amazing for being open about it (which I'm not, I don't feel comfortable telling people). It's nothing special. People who make effort in saving others or doing good things for society are heroes, not people who feel comfortable with being queer and coming out. I don't feel bad about it, I just don't think praise is something I should be receiving for something so minor and genetic.



I totally agree, and that's what I hate. People that don't hate you want to cheer you on like it's nobody's business, and it makes it even worse for those of us who aren't the proud attention seeking type... Which seems to be the stereotype of all homos.


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

Alright 
So has your problem been solved or are you still wanting request?


----------



## Kanapachi (Oct 7, 2015)

If they don't agree, they bash us for it. If they support us, they act like we're god. Can people please just treat us like normal people? We're no different, we just have a certain preference.

I feel like life would be easier if there were only one gender and everything were gender-neutral. So much simpler.


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

Kanapachi said:


> If they don't agree, they bash us for it. If they support us, they act like we're god. Can people please just treat us like normal people? We're no different, we just have a certain preference.
> 
> I feel like life would be easier if there were only one gender and everything were gender-neutral. So much simpler.



It's still sorta "foreign"
I don't praise people for being gay. I think it's more of an inspiration not like you guys are "gods" because you are gay. 
More of a perspective of being in a backwards society. We're so ahead but yet so far back.


----------



## Titi (Oct 7, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> Alright
> So has your problem been solved or are you still wanting request?



I was seeking opinions mostly, wanting to know if other people felt the same, and advice, which I have recieved plenty of.

No the problem isn't solved, because I'm not strong enough to apply the given solutions (give zero ****s, etc...) but that's no longer something anyone can help me with. And I've gotten advice that I can work on.

If anyone wants to give their view or say that they feel the same or talk about the subject, that's fine, it doesn't have to be about me.


----------



## Oblivia (Oct 7, 2015)

Hey guys. This is just a reminder to please refrain from making personal attacks, regardless of the situation. It's fine to have a different viewpoint and equally fine to explain why you feel a certain way, but there's no need to name call or be rude even if someone feels differently than you about a certain subject. I've already had to remove a few posts, so please keep the forum rules in mind when it comes to respecting one another.  I'm going to leave this thread open for now as I feel that Titi's question was posed in a very mature way, and I doubt that they'd like to see their thread devolve into a flame war simply because people can't find a way to respond in a manner that isn't insulting or condescending.

I understand that it's frustrating when someone just won't see your point of view no matter how hard you try to drive it into their brains, but in these situations it's normally best to just agree to disagree and walk away.


----------



## ams (Oct 7, 2015)

Yeah, I identified as gay for a number of years and it was hell tbh. Now I'm attracted to both men and women but I choose to only date members of the opposite sex. For people who are happy being gay that's wonderful, but I am SO much happier this way.


----------



## Titi (Oct 7, 2015)

ams said:


> Yeah, I identified as gay for a number of years and it was hell tbh. Now I'm attracted to both men and women but I choose to only date members of the opposite sex. For people who are happy being gay that's wonderful, but I am SO much happier this way.



You're lucky that you can choose. It kind of went the opposite way for me. I knew I was bi from the start and gradually I found myself increasingly incapable of loving, being with, having sex with men. I still find some of them visually attractive, but that's about it... It keeps getting worse.


----------



## Jarrad (Oct 7, 2015)

Yes and no. Sometimes yes because it's so difficult being different and having to essentially live a lie in front of everybody that you know and love. No because this is who (we/I) are/am, and that every micro detail about us defines who we are. If I wasn't the way I was today I imagine I'd be a completely different person, with a completely different outlook on life, with completely different friends and a completely different career path (i.e I 100% know I wouldn't be pursuing higher education at university). 

I think the best thing for anybody that feels uncomfortable or angry because of the way they are is to just endure and embrace it. As you age you'll generally grow to understand yourself more in depth. For example, if you had asked me "Are you happy with who you are?" I would have definitely said no, but if you ask me the same question I'd tell you that I love myself. I don't love my body, but I love my personality and mind.

If you can't accept who you are then how can you assume that others will too?

- - - Post Merge - - -



ams said:


> Yeah, I identified as gay for a number of years and it was hell tbh. Now I'm attracted to both men and women but I choose to only date members of the opposite sex. For people who are happy being gay that's wonderful, but I am SO much happier this way.



I don't understand.. let me get this straight:

You _were_ gay, but now you're _bisexual_ (so you feel physically attracted to both genders), however now you only choose to date females because?? (assuming you're male, since you used gay instead of lesbian).


----------



## Trundle (Oct 7, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> I just love how Christians just believe they know God
> Like they got him on speed dial or if he's walking down the street and they're like "aye God" -pulls out cross-
> I'm pretty in the bible it mentions that you have to form your own relationship with God. For it takes time. Not off other people opinions. That's what you believe and this is what I believe.
> If you're saying that it's in the book, it in paper! Then tough luck cause not everything you read is true.
> ...



You are correct in the fact that each person has their own relationship with God.
Although I don't agree with how you invalidate the Bible based on the fact that it is written down and based on the fact that European white skinned Catholics portrayed Jesus as a white guy in a few pictures.

-Primary source evidence scales that historians, archaeologists, etc use suggest that the more copies of an event relative to how long after the events took place it was written defines its historical accuracy. Because of this, the Bible is defined as the most historically accurate book in history (I believe Jonah is particularly the most dated, while books like Genesis, Exodus, etc. only have copies of manuscripts and not the original). 
-How a culture portrayed what they might have thought Jesus looked like does not define any kind of historical inaccuracy, but Jesus was born in Bethlehem (a Israel / Palestinian based location), not Egypt. 

There are also a lot of contradictions and historical inaccuracies in the Bible, which was obviously caused by human error. Some stories give very small location differences than another story or year differences. Nothing there would disprove it.

Scientifically speaking, many Christians believe Genesis stories to be metaphorical and not actually what happened. Although it would have been possible to populate the Earth after the flood & Noah's Ark, many believe that this story was, again, metaphorical (as it belongs in Genesis) and the original writings of Moses have been copies over thousands of years through different languages and dialect changes.

Also, it doesn't seem to be clear to anyone, but your sins do not determine whether or not you go to Heaven according to the New Testament. In the Old Testament, it seems to have been decided through virtue and respect towards God, but that was the whole point of Jesus - coming to Earth and dying as the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. We now know that we can have an direct relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit where forgiveness of sins and forgetting of sins is a simple process (as long as you ask for forgiveness of sins).

And again, you're wrong about the context of the homosexuality reference in the Bible, but either way you need to see it in its context. 

"_8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, 9 understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, 10 the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, 11 in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted._" - 1 Timothy 1: 8-11

Here is what we need to think about:
-All Christian men were supposed to be circumcised at this time too, which is not a custom anymore. Circumcision was believed to just be a way to be hygienic and clean, whereas back then they did not know much about the cleaning and maintaining of a penis with foreskin.

From this we can see that it is possible that homosexuality was seen the same way. It was unclean and actually very dangerous. Even today, homosexuality (or anal sex in particular) can lead to a lot of issues with your butt and things inside it (research it if you want, but it's honestly really disgusting). It was even more unsafe at the time and probably one of the main reasons it was looked down upon and discouraged. 

-All people in this world are controlled by sin.

Judging someone for homosexuality from a Biblical viewpoint is the same as judging someone for lying from the same viewpoint. Both are sin. Everybody sins, and all sin is equal in God's eyes. Prejudiced people who believe that gay people are "ruining their country" are more often than not homophobes for the sake of being homophobes. They may back up their hatred with the Bible, but the Bible does not support that in any way. How are you supposed to help show people love by telling them everything they may be doing wrong? The irony here is that by doing just that, these people are sinning as well. 


But I just think it is funny that you guys started arguing because of an uneducated 11 year old girl. If you have questions feel free to reply or PM me!


----------



## milkday (Oct 7, 2015)

ahhh, i'm not so sure on my sexuality (or anything, really) but i am not going to put a label on it. i am not a such-and-such, i am just me. i hate who i am, but this is the only thing that i am comfortable with


----------



## N e s s (Oct 7, 2015)

Stop hating yourself for what you aren't, start loving yourself for who you are. If you choose to accept that and not label yourself as "Not normal", you will begin to accept yourself for what you are. I want you to know that you may not know who I am, but I'll support you.


----------



## boujee (Oct 7, 2015)

Trundle said:


> You are correct in the fact that each person has their own relationship with God.
> Although I don't agree with how you invalidate the Bible based on the fact that it is written down and based on the fact that European white skinned Catholics portrayed Jesus as a white guy in a few pictures.
> 
> -Primary source evidence scales that historians, archaeologists, etc use suggest that the more copies of an event relative to how long after the events took place it was written defines its historical accuracy. Because of this, the Bible is defined as the most historically accurate book in history (I believe Jonah is particularly the most dated, while books like Genesis, Exodus, etc. only have copies of manuscripts and not the original).
> ...



This hurted my eyes


----------



## Kanapachi (Oct 7, 2015)

KawaiiLotus said:


> I personally would never be homosexual, since it a sin and im Christan. Not trying to hate or anything btw. So my big sister is pansexual, leaning towards girls. But she doesn't even know that i know. She seems just like anyone else I've ever met except that she's awesome. People can like who they want. Btw this is a very smart 11 year-old speaking.



This made me lmfao.


----------



## Damniel (Oct 7, 2015)

No don't think negatively on it, but I do wish people didn't make it a big deal.like YOUR GAY??? And girls wanting that gay best friend, liking the same gender means absolutely nothing. It doesn't make you act or speak differently so why make a big deal about it?


----------



## radical6 (Oct 7, 2015)

i in fact hate being gay and trans, and i hate my body dysphoria, and i want to kill myself everyday. it is kind of miserable to live really. along with other **** in my life i just kind of wish i didnt have to deal with my dysphoria and being.bi or gay idk im questioning. but i kinda wish i was dead tbh


----------



## Nuclear Bingo (Oct 7, 2015)

God this thread is depressing


----------



## M O L K O (Oct 8, 2015)

Ya'll a damn mess lmao


----------



## Geoni (Oct 8, 2015)

I'm fine with being gay but I can't seem to get along with other gay people lol.


----------



## King Dorado (Oct 8, 2015)

Titi, I have homosexual friends and relatives, and to be honest we dont describe them as gay or lesbian in our every-day conversations or thoughts.  Does it come up sometimes? Sure it does, same way somebody's preferences would come up anyhow, i.e., they like to date this type of person, that type of person, etc., as part of knowing somebody.  Anyone who labels you bc of it would categorize you anyhow, for different reasons, even if you were straight:  maybe based on your studies, your occupation, your political beliefs, your habits, your hobbies, your intellect, etc.  Also, every human being who ever lived has worried about having their parents find out about things, or about disappointing their parents-- not just sexual preference, but sexuality in general, friend choices, career choices, religious devotions, etc.  Also, I think everyone at times wants to be part of the crowd, wants anonymity, and doesnt want to stand out.   I guess what i'm saying is-- even if you weren't homosexual, you would probably have these same or similar concerns but with other characteristics of your life-- so try not to worry so much; try to love the people who love you; love life.


----------



## cIementine (Oct 8, 2015)

King Dad said:


> Titi, I have homosexual friends and relatives, and to be honest we dont describe them as gay or lesbian in our every-day conversations or thoughts.  Does it come up sometimes? Sure it does, same way somebody's preferences would come up anyhow, i.e., they like to date this type of person, that type of person, etc., as part of knowing somebody.  Anyone who labels you bc of it would categorize you anyhow, for different reasons, even if you were straight:  maybe based on your studies, your occupation, your political beliefs, your habits, your hobbies, your intellect, etc.  Also, every human being who ever lived has worried about having their parents find out about things, or about disappointing their parents-- not just sexual preference, but sexuality in general, friend choices, career choices, religious devotions, etc.  Also, I think everyone at times wants to be part of the crowd, wants anonymity, and doesnt want to stand out.   I guess what i'm saying is-- even if you weren't homosexual, you would probably have these same or similar concerns but with other characteristics of your life-- so try not to worry so much; try to love the people who love you; love life.



THISSS so much. what awesome advice!


----------



## hemming1996 (Oct 8, 2015)

melsi said:


> No one is normal. No one. There's nothing wrong with that either..



How is that possible? If no one is normal why does the word 'normal' exist lol


Don't have a big 'coming out'. Only let people know when you're ready


----------



## MaryOldacre (Oct 8, 2015)

I'm a homoromantic asexual, and I hate it sometimes because no one understands that YES I want to cuddle, and date and kiss and hold hands and stuff, but I don't want there to be a sexual element to the relationship. And everyone tells me "it's a phase, you'll grow out of it" or even worse, "were you assaulted? Is that why you don't want sex?" I've had STRANGERS ask me that when I'm quietly talking about being Ace with my friends. Most of the time, I'm proud of it, heck, I named my town AcePlace because it rhymed, and it was cute.

I guess I don't hate BEING asexual homoromantic, but I hate how people react to it. They make fun of my discomfort with sexual things, and try to make me blush and shrink in on myself in embarrassment. Well, my parents do. My friends and brother don't they respect me.

If there's anything I hate, it's being SEVERELY mentally ill and autistic, a bad combo that makes it almost impossible for me to hold a job or go to school regularly. It's awful, and I wish I could just focus long enough to get something done, but instead I obsess about things that won't help me, and I waste my days away on the internet. :/


----------



## tumut (Oct 8, 2015)

Its really annoying sometimes. Sometimes I kinda wish I was straight but eh


----------



## Titi (Oct 8, 2015)

Lixx said:


> Its really annoying sometimes. Sometimes I kinda wish I was straight but eh



I see you also like Ginko.


----------



## tumut (Oct 8, 2015)

Titi said:


> I see you also like Ginko.


I love Mushishi, but the gifs were too big and being annoying so they're not there for now.


----------



## radical6 (Oct 8, 2015)

Dad said:


> I'm fine with being gay but I can't seem to get along with other gay people lol.



is this why youre so mean to me you bigot? if ur gay how will u ever get a date if u cant get along with other gays i hope u get burned at the stake!!!


----------



## Coco_Weng (Oct 8, 2015)

I think as long as you don't overthink yourself, everything will be fine. 
The public's been very accepting to homosexual or bisexual, and I personally do not think it's a problem at all! You might be afraid that you might disappoint your parents once they found out, but I think all parents really just want their children to be happy. 

If you're happy with your date, it's all that matters. They might reject or be upset in the beginning not because you're homosexual but because they are afraid you might get hurt from the public who despise homosexuals. 

As long as you show them you're able to cope with it all, they will learn to understand. And about how others might "celebrate" or be "over-attentive" about your sexuality, as long as you act normal (as in not making this a big deal yourself), people will learn to not fuss over it. Good luck to you and cheers! (my sister is a bisexual too.) 

(My doll friends and I do get a lot of attentions too when we carry our dolls out for photo shoots, but I've learn to ignore their attention and just be myself!)


----------



## meo (Oct 8, 2015)

Titi said:


> - Labelling myself too much: I agree, but you can't really get away with not doing it in the real world. People you hang out with are going to ask eventually, or find out, and want a concrete answer.



Really? Because when people ask me...I say exactly how I feel which is.."I don't need a label or believe in choosing a label. I like people based on connection not gender." and they either...
relate, say okay and go on to the next subject, or share their personal experiences which may open me to sharing my own. 

Like I said, give no explanations where explanations aren't necessary...unless, you want to. It's all in your hands.


----------



## twisty (Oct 9, 2015)

I'm bi and also terrified of anyone in my family finding out. Because non-straight sexualities are so othered and fully erased in media, children's upbringing, etc., it's so hard to accept yourself and feel like your family could accept you too. ;w;

Also, it's totally totally understandable to be suffering so much because of how you view and how you think others will view your sexuality. It's a really scary world for us LGBT folk, and no matter how close you are to someone, you can never really know how they'll react when/if you come out to them.

I just hope you stay safe ;w; Try to surround yourself with positive people, and maybe get involved in some LGBT groups? Feeling like crap about your sexuality is so so hard to overcome (trust me I'm still dealing with a lot of it), and maybe having more lgbt friends will help you feel more comfortable with yourself?


----------



## Jill (Oct 9, 2015)

I don't really hat being Bisexual more it's vaguely annoying because my sexuality comes into question more than I would like it to. And not just other people, I actually think on what they say and it makes me start to wonder. And the stupid question "WHAT ARE YOU?" because I'm dating a man in a long term relationship- nearly 4 years. So I can't possibly be Bi. Oh heavens no! So that 

The only people who know are my boyfriend, my best friend and my mom and step-father. To be fair my mom thought I was gay, for the longest time. She was half-right. And my step dad found out when I oggling a pretty waitress. We have similar taste in women.  They're the only ones that really matter, I don't see a reason why I should tell me entire family that I like women too. It's none of their business.


----------



## Grumble (Oct 9, 2015)

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but I am cisgendered heterosexual and *I feel guilty about that so much* when I talk to people who are struggling with gender and sexuality identity issues.

*You don't get to pick what you like! You just like what you like!*​

Fighting it and internally punishing yourself over it will not only cause so much tragic pain, it may cause actual physical pain.

Accept yourself and others will accept you.

There is a great quote with much controversy over who originated it:

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

And several variations on it. But the point is: it's so true.

I learned this myself when I made a career decision that my family did not approve of. I was terrified to tell them, because they had all these plans for me, and I'd always stayed on the path they paved for me.

It was the closest thing to coming out I have to relate. It was, in a way, my own coming out.

When I finally told my parents, I had learned that they mattered. They didn't care at all. It was such a non-climax, especially for how much I'd built it up.

However accepting my parents were, that wasn't the same for everyone in the family. About half of my family thinks I'm ruining my life and I'll be broke and begging them for money. But they never cared about my happiness any way.

Those who mind don't matter.

They never really cared about my happiness. They just cared about the family image and what others would think of them.

Those who matter don't mind.

My family who couldn't care less about what career path I chose were the ones who truly just wanted me to find my own happiness. They didn't care if a successful lineage would end with me breaking off to do my own thing. They didn't care what the rest of the family thought of me. They are the ones I truly want to surround myself with.

And it's so important to accept yourself. Take a few minutes every day to just look into your own mind. Acknowledge "This is how I feel. And there is nothing wrong with it. This is where I'm at with my life and with myself and that's okay."

Because it is okay.

I'm rambly, but having gone through my own deep depression and crisis over something completely unrelated to sexuality... I'm just really passionate about people being okay with who they are.

I am not ever going to finish college, much less be a scientist, doctor, or medical engineer...

And that's okay.

And coming from a family of nerds who read scientific journals instead of newspapers...

Let me let you know... Nobody is truly heterosexual. Sexuality is a crazy spectrum. Scientifically tested, and reproduced in a few studies... One where scientists found that heterosexual peoples' brains were stimulated by all kinds of images. Even gay ones.



Spoiler: may be too controversial...dont click if youre not comfy with the thought of weird sexual things...nothing explicit though



I wish I could find the link for that study, but sadly I can't... The same one found that the brain was even stimulated by images of animals mating. That doesn't mean people enjoy bestiality or anything, but that sexuality is insane.



Sorry, again, for being rambly.


----------



## visibleghost (Oct 9, 2015)

I'm trans, and I know that it's not the same thing as being gay, but I can kind of relate?
I've started talking to some people online introducing myself as a boy (which I am but yEAH) and I'm pretty sure they all think I'm cis?? Or I don't know, but at least I haven't told them that I am trans, they might know though because I don't really hide it on forums and such... I really don't know...
 I like to think that I wouldn't care if they knew or not, but recently I've starting having this big fear of them finding out because I think and they might start treating me differently. I just want to be treated like a normal person, not some weird thing ):

I personally don't wish I was cis just so I wouldn't be treated differently, I just wish that people wouldn't be so confused and weirded out about trans people. yeeah.


----------



## ams (Oct 15, 2015)

Jarrad said:


> I don't understand.. let me get this straight:
> 
> You _were_ gay, but now you're _bisexual_ (so you feel physically attracted to both genders), however now you only choose to date females because?? (assuming you're male, since you used gay instead of lesbian).



Yeah I generally try to stay out of these conversations because teenagers and young adults seem to be obsessed with labelling themselves which is completely ridiculous. Sexuality is fluid and treating it otherwise just makes everyone confused. But yes - you did get the gist of what I was saying. I'm female though - I just never liked the word lesbian because I didn't like how male and female gay people have to be put in a different category.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Just wanted to say to Tiki - I relate to so much of the stuff that you're saying. I know how hard it is and I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Please feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to!


----------

