# Disfunctional Families



## Hulaette (Jul 2, 2015)

This thread is ment for everyone to share their stories about their lives or if you want to vent than you come to the right place! I come from a very screwed up household. I currently live with a man who's a narcissist, an old lady with dementia, and my roommate who is the only person who loves and cares about me. I can't afford to move out, I am unable to go places by myself because I'm bad at directions. I was verbally and physically abused growing up as a child. I hate waking up every morning to their faces, I hate having to put up with their yelling and throwing things around, and making up bs stories about their other family members. If anything goes wrong the old lady just blames everything on her duaghter and me. yea its my fault and I'm making you out to be a liar. *sarcastic*


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## Alice (Jul 2, 2015)

Dementia sucks. I've seen first hand how bad it can get. I really understand that it can be frustrating living with a person with such a condition, but the way you talk about it and complain, is just nasty. It's fine to voice your anger, but at least try to understand what it's like.


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## kaitastrophe (Jul 2, 2015)

Hey, I understand you're angry and trying to vent out your feelings, but the way you're saying it is very rude and nasty. Also, that is a very touchy subject and could offend some people, and most people dont want to talk about it.


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## piichinu (Jul 2, 2015)

Idk my family used to fight all the time and my dad was p abusive so there was this one v big fight so my parents divorced. but my dad is rich af and he's nice now and finally figured out how to chill so idc


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## ams (Jul 2, 2015)

To be fair OP did say that she was just venting. It's totally normal to have a lot of anger living in a situation like that and if you don't have an outlet to say what you're feeling then you might end up taking out that anger on yourself or others (for example in this situation saying something to the actual woman suffering dementia).

So OP I think it's completely normal and healthy for you to have those feelings and really important for you to get them out. Feel free to talk to me by pm if you're worried that others might get offended. I grew up with an abusive step-mother and an elderly grandmother so I can probably relate.


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## Hulaette (Jul 2, 2015)

I wasn't talking crap about the lady on this thread!! I can't even have a normal relationship with this lady because she doesn't like me and she thinks I'm the one causing all the problems and gets upset over it. But I can't help having aspergers. You have no idea how hard it is for me to cope with this. This is a real situation that is going on so please bare with me.

- - - Post Merge - - -



ams said:


> To be fair OP did say that she was just venting. It's totally normal to have a lot of anger living in a situation like that and if you don't have an outlet to say what you're feeling then you might end up taking out that anger on yourself or others (for example in this situation saying something to the actual woman suffering dementia).
> 
> So OP I think it's completely normal and healthy for you to have those feelings and really important for you to get them out. Feel free to talk to me by pm if you're worried that others might get offended. I grew up with an abusive step-mother and an elderly grandmother so I can probably relate.



Thank you <3 at least someone understands.


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## piichinu (Jul 2, 2015)

pandycake said:


> Also, that is a very touchy subject and could offend some people, and most people dont want to talk about it.


avoiding touchy subjects wont help anything


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## Hettie (Jul 2, 2015)

[size=-2]I can't say I came from a dysfunctional family or that I understand it, but I did grow up in a very poor household from when I was very young until around 13. My parents were actually the only ones I knew out of my friends and other family who stayed married until my mother passed away in 2013. But it sounds like you're living in a very stressful situation OP, definitely feel free to vent. 

And if it's not getting too personal, you could try and ask your room mate for help in possibly getting some government assistance for yourself? Disability, food stamps, insurance--Anything to help you take some baby steps in getting out of the environment you're in.[/size]


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## ReXyx3 (Jul 2, 2015)

I feel like everyone's family is a bit dysfunctional in their own way, but I was always taught that family problems should stay within the family and not be publicized. I don't think anyone's childhood is/was perfect, we all have our own stuff to deal with.


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## Leedle-lee (Jul 3, 2015)

Everyone has their stuff, and we all need to accept that. Whether it's a disfunctional family, or an abusive family, or anything else along those lines. It's hard to accept what may be right in front of us, but eventually we all have to reach our own conclusions about our families. From there, well, doing something about it is up to the person.

Then again, that's just how I see it.


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## Midoriya (Jul 3, 2015)

Well both my parents are divorced and have been since I was 4, but I've been so fortunate that they have always still been really good friends, and they share the week with me.  I'm with my mom on weekdays, dad every Wednesday, and they switch weekends between me.  They also still talk to each other a lot and act like friends.  The only reason they divorced in the first place is they had different opinions.  My only siblings which is my older sister lives far away because she's having problems I'd rather not talk about here.  We also don't live with anyone else, all our family is out of state, and I only have one grandparent left since the rest of them died before I was born.  So yeah, my family isn't great or super connected, but I am happy that all 4 of us face everything together, head on.  The most important thing is to be happy for what you do have, and realize that there are always going to be worse families and people's lives being worse than your own.  Yes, there are better ones, but it's all up to scale.  Remember to only give credence to the ones that truly care about you.  You are a good person and you are loved (I'm saying this to anyone in general), even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.


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## meo (Jul 3, 2015)

I had a pretty rough childhood and my family is just about as dysfunctional as it gets. Lately, the hardest thing for me though is my relationship with my mother. Of anyone in my family, she's the only one important to me and she has many good qualities. However, in many ways her conservative upbringing shows or judgements. Honestly, it's hard sometimes...especially being in an interracial relationship. Sometimes the comments are just too much especially when I know they don't seem offensive in her mind. She approves of our relationship and likes my partner but...she's very one sided and close minded when it comes to cultures. 
I'm tired of the pettiness and extremely tired of the acting like your religion or beliefs are the only ones of any truth or importance. Tired of the eye rolls at customs I adore. It's fine if it's not something you personally want to do or understand...but you don't need to belittle other people as if it's backwards or from the stone ages. 

-.-; Rant done for today..


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## Hulaette (Jul 3, 2015)

Vent for the day:

Its so annoying how the old lady thinks she had to be a part of Eeeeevery conversation that goes on around her. I'm thinking Jeez, just shut up this has NOTHING to do with you so stop seeking attantion! Yeah. she does that just to get attantion! I am a very observant person and I know quite a bit about psychology. She thinks I'm stupid and that I'm so dumb to see what's shes doing when she stirs the pot. What she doesn't understand is that I see the tables are turned.


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## Dasbreenee (Jul 3, 2015)

I know you're venting, which is understandable. But if she has dimetia, chances are she had absolutely no idea what she's doing. I've worked with people who have Alzheimer's and dimetia for a little over a year now. I get hit on a daily basis, yelled at, slapped, called names. But one thing they say is, never feed into what they're doing. Because they don't know. Treat them with respect and kindness just as any other person. People who have these diseases are scared, they don't understand what's going on around them in a lot of cases. Sometimes if you're overly kind, every once in a blue moon they'll show kindness too. 
I had a grumpy old man with Alzheimer's in my work area. He was convinced that I was the management of the nursing home and would call me a stupid broad every day I worked because I told him I didn't know the phone number for the owner. Still could be the sweetest guy ever. And another lady, Bev who had dimetia. She was so mean, called names, and was convinced that the government put her there because she knows too much. As soon as you offered her a glass of Coke she would sit down and talk to you for hours. Just try to be patient and kind. That could be you some day.


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## Hulaette (Jul 3, 2015)

I know the whole song and dance. I worked in a retirement home for 5 years. I seen it all. I will say this for the last time. The lady who lives here with me isn't that bad yet so so she knows damn well whats she says most of the time. You wanna talk about this some more do it in PM please.


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## pillow bunny (Jul 3, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> But I can't help having aspergers.



you realize she can't help having dementia, right?


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## Dasbreenee (Jul 4, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> I know the whole song and dance. I worked in a retirement home for 5 years. I seen it all. I will say this for the last time. The lady who lives here with me isn't that bad yet so so she knows damn well whats she says most of the time. You wanna talk about this some more do it in PM please.



Well then you should know that they can't help it. That's all I'm saying. Go ahead and vent. My 86 year old grandfather lives with me. He irritates the heck outta me. But he's old. That's all there is to it.


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## Hulaette (Jul 4, 2015)

I know that they can't help it. But my point is that the old lady sometimes tries to make a problem out of anything on purpose, She knows exactly whats shes saying MOST of the time. All I know is that I'm not going to put up with SOME the bs she does on purpose. I'm not saying she does it all the time intentionally, just sometimes. She is still fully aware of everything that goes on. That's what I'm trying to say.


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## Hulaette (Jul 12, 2015)

Vent for the day:

As much as I tried to understand what this so called dementia is and why it happens. I just have a hard time accepting it. I seriously don't get why everyone has to pamper this old lady like a freakin baby, It's embarrassing. She always steers the conversations all about her. Like she always expects everyone to talk to her right away if they come into the room at shes in, or she thinks shes always a part of everyone else's discussions and always chimes in. I know that she is smart and aware on a decent level and she dam well knows it. She thinks that she can get away with being lazy and make up excuses because shes old. She needs to try harder and put more effort into herself.


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## radical6 (Jul 12, 2015)

TW: CSA, Pedophilia, Abuse

My family has always been a mess.

As a second generation, I will never understand my culture or language. And I wish I knew how to speak vietnamese, and I wish I could see Vietnam with my own eyes, but I won't for a long time. 

The war in Vietnam tore my family apart. My mother lived alone for a long time, before the rest of her family came over. There, she met my father in college. They got married and had me.

Life wasn't easy for me or my mother. The war left my father traumatized. He was constantly angry. He had gambling problems. He would hit me over everything. I remember being terrified of him. He beat me over spilling milk. He beat me for not finishing my dinner if I was too full. He beat me for anything. When I was 3, he beat me for puking on his shirt. My mother often got beaten too if she tried to intervene. My brother was never touched throughout our lives, luckily. I envy my brother sometimes. Now, my brother starts to take after our father and I hate it.

I remember when I was 5 and it was nap time. I got no choice. I had to sleep, my father said so. I woke up a while later and it was still nap time, but I really had to use the bathroom. I was terrified of leaving my room, even though it was right next to my bedroom. I was shaking. I cried and peed there, and never told my father. I was simply too terrified to even use the bathroom. My childhood was always like this.

Life was awful. I was a quiet kid. I never spoke to anyone. I found it hard to talk to people. When my parents divorced, I broke. I had trouble in school. I was an disobedient child. 

Soon, my mom met another man. He was okay. We slowly warmed up to each other...but he got too close. At the age of 10, I knew nothing about sex or relationships. And he slowly groomed me and manipulated me into doing sexual things with him. It took me until now to realize what he was doing wasn't okay. 

And I hated myself for it. I thought I was so stupid. I was suicidal for a long time. I never understood some of the things he said. I never understood any of it. And I blamed myself for being so stupid, not seeing through it. I'm almost 15, but I realized this wasn't okay about 3 months ago.

He's out of the picture now, but my mom still sees him and believes his story over mine. And it hurts. CPS closed the case on him because of the lack of evidence. And I still suffer nightmares from both him and my father. It has ruined my relationships with my family. I no longer talk much to anyone in my family. 

I wish I loved my family. I wish I did. But I just can't.


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## Forek (Jul 12, 2015)

Oh my god I'm so sorry that should never happen to somebody but it's just a little bit longer and it will be good. I almost cried reading that actually because it's so sad to see that happen to somebody. it's gonna be better soon justice


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## radical6 (Jul 13, 2015)

Forek said:


> Oh my god I'm so sorry that should never happen to somebody but it's just a little bit longer and it will be good. I almost cried reading that actually because it's so sad to see that happen to somebody. it's gonna be better soon justice



Thanks I guess.


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## Trundle (Jul 13, 2015)

justice said:


> Thanks I guess.



Wow, I really never knew. I don't really know what to tell you, I don't think sorry can really cut it. 

A lot of the time, I see people complaining about how their life isn't fair. if they knew how good off they were... But thank you, justice, for being strong in such a bad position. For continuing to get up everyday regardless of what you have gone through and what you still have to go through in life. You're awesome. If you need anything, even just a friend, please let me know.


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## Forek (Jul 13, 2015)

I wish i could make posts like this, that is like what i wanted to say but it came out the wrong way. I don't know what to say really, except that i want to be strong like you. Like Trundle said, if you need anything just let me know.


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## vurren (Jul 13, 2015)

Im so sorry about what happened to you, Justice. A similar thing happened to me, but only one time. I could never imagine having to go through that more than once. I really hope life gets better for you soon <3 Stay strong.


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## Dinosaurz (Jul 13, 2015)

Ok rant time.


Spoiler



I was born in London and lived with my Mum, Dad, Brother and Half-Sister till I was 3. Then when I was 3 things got pretty bad with my mum and dad, which ment they had a divorce, after that things got pretty bad with schools, I was in and out of schools, got kicked out of my first school and had to go to a special school thing when I was 6. I stayed there for a bit and they tried to move me back into mainstream, that didn't work so I ended up being kicked out from there to. I was moving around a lot then, between parents and areas. My mum couldn't cope with me and my brother, we both have 'learning disabilitys' as they like to call it, so my brother moved to Margate while me and my dad stayed in London. After that I started missing my mum, so I move down with her and my brother and went to a school there, that didn't work out and I kept being excluded, I didn't know why. I was around 8 at the time. After that. My mum said she couldn't deal with us any more, but she met her husband, my stepdad. We all moved down to Hemel Hempstead as my step dad was getting a job there, I went to a EBD school for a couple of years, that was a terrible school. They got shut down because of some of the things they did (locked us in rooms). After that the school said they couldn't deal with me anymore. So My parents moved me out. At The same time we were having issues in court. I moved to a boarding school in Brighton. The worst time ever, I hated it there. Away from my family. I felt as my parents just decided to dump me there, a teacher broke my arm there and had to go to court, after a long 2 years I got excluded, for breaking things. I went to a temporary place where I did work. That wasn't very good. At the same time my brother started having issues, he smashed through our house. I had to call the police a lot. The landlord kicked us out so we had to move, so I moved schools too. I moved to a place for kids with issues, I had no idea what it was. The kids there were nothing like me, all rough kids and I got into fights all the time. Anyway a year later my parents fianally got me out, then I was home schooled (now). Currently my brother is still in trouble. Drinking, smoking, doing stuff he shouldn't. He is the same age as me so it's hard.  But he's my brother so I still don't care. Currently my parents are forcing me to go. Back to boarding school. Abandoning me again... I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But my life isn't even that bad, yeah. Maybe I have messed up my chance at a life, education but... Stuff happeneds. 
That's my mini life story.


Wow, that was long.


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## puppy (Jul 13, 2015)

my entire family is just awful

my father and mother got divorced before i was born and i was basically born while my mother was living in a homeless shelter. i still have some memories from then. i havent spoken to my father for years. i used to go to his house over summer but that stopped when i was like 4.

my mother has delusions that people are trying to mess with her all the time and i have anxiety issues because i grew up with her always telling me that some people were working together to ruin our lives, when in reality she was the reason we kept losing our home and having to move. most every major bad thing that has ever happened to me has something to do with her. i know theres something wrong with her, but she wont take any meds even those she's been to a psych hospital like 5 times. she never believes anything she does is wrong. one time she got angry at me about my grades (they werent even that bad, btw) and she snapped my laptop in half over her knee on my birthday. just 3 months ago in the car she got angry at me for something that was her own fault and when i told her so, she started driving crazy on the freeway and punched me in the nose. then while i was sitting there clutching my bleeding nose and screaming, she calls the police like "im afraid to get back in the car with her i dont know what she's going to do". to this day she has not given me an actual apology for this and still says it was my fault but whatever just glad my nose wasnt broken i guess?? she's also manipulative and critical and at this point i cant stand it any more. i should have seen it sooner, probably the time when i was 8 and she dropped me off crying to my grandmother while she was at church saying "i dont want this disobedient child, you take her" she has honestly threatened to abandon me so many times, but when i try to get away from her i suddenly "still need a mother". im living with my grandmother (again) now, this time because i chose to. my mother still picks me up to go to church on sundays but to be honest i would rather she just left me alone because being around her just makes me miserable there is literally never a pleasant moment. she messed me up so bad like i never actually feel happy any more i cant express my emotions clearly and it affects my ability to be close to people.

my grandmother has her own set of issues, but i'd take them over my mother's, i guess. she is also critical and she screams all the time. shes also ignorant in that old people way and practices favoritism she is always comparing me to my cousin, who also lives with her like she wants me to be the exact same as him. (fyi i ranked in the top 10% of my class and he didnt??) like im sorry i have 0 confidence in everything i do.

my aunt. ugh. she's always claiming how much she really wants to help me but i cant stand her. a while ago when i moved in with my grandma i had 2 chihuahuas that i loved a lot, but my grandma had nowhere to put them and wouldnt let them in the house. i had nowhere to keep my dogs, and my aunt has a fenced in back yard thats practically empty, so i asked her if i could stay with her and bring my dogs and she gave me the most unsympathetic response anyone has ever said to me. "you can get new dogs" i was on the phone and i had to put it down and breathe i couldnt talk to her any more. and now, surprise i have no dogs. even now i still think about that every time i see her its like im looking at her in a different light. she said she wanted to help me.... but i went to her for help and she didnt. shes also one of those super christian people she goes to church like 5 days a week and has quiet time with god for 2 hours every morning. she absolutely infuriates me. i cant have a normal conversation with her because she turns it into some kind of lesson like 
me: "this is a good sandwich" 
her: "...okay but what does that mean _spiritually_"
not to mention she's hella rude all the time and she cant comprehend how.


honestly all the adults that have been in my life have sucked


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## radical6 (Jul 13, 2015)

Trundle said:


> Wow, I really never knew. I don't really know what to tell you, I don't think sorry can really cut it.
> 
> A lot of the time, I see people complaining about how their life isn't fair. if they knew how good off they were... But thank you, justice, for being strong in such a bad position. For continuing to get up everyday regardless of what you have gone through and what you still have to go through in life. You're awesome. If you need anything, even just a friend, please let me know.





Forek said:


> I wish i could make posts like this, that is like what i wanted to say but it came out the wrong way. I don't know what to say really, except that i want to be strong like you. Like Trundle said, if you need anything just let me know.





vurren said:


> Im so sorry about what happened to you, Justice. A similar thing happened to me, but only one time. I could never imagine having to go through that more than once. I really hope life gets better for you soon <3 Stay strong.



thanks for the support. life is okay right now, i still have trouble coping but im at least seeing doctors for my mental health.

- - - Post Merge - - -

also ally we should talk i miss u. and i remember u telling me about ur dogs im so sorry about ur dogs


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## Royce (Jul 13, 2015)

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## Hettie (Jul 13, 2015)

[size=-2]I would really just like to take the time to remind you guys how loved and important you are. Don't really know any one personally, but sharing your experiences here, even if it is through the candidacy of the internet, makes me extremely proud to be a part of BTB. Probably very sappy, but it takes a lot of courage to go through what you guys have and be brave enough to share it. 

I also would really like to encourage the younger side to definitely find someone you can talk to, either a trusted teacher, relative or another adult you feel safe with, and discuss what you're going through. It can be very hard having to deal with everything on top of all your other life (like school or work or sports, etc.) so please, please PLEASE practice your bravery and strength offline as well, even if you have to do it one short talk at a time, for one minute, or for one day a week. There's nothing wrong with taking baby steps in taking care of yourself.[/size]


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## Forek (Jul 13, 2015)

I want to let you guys know that you guys are amazing people and even if you don't feel like it, somebody views you as precious to them. Whether if its one of your family members or one of your friends, they view you as precious. <3


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## Jawile (Jul 13, 2015)

I haven't seen my uncle in at least three years now. His entire part of my family is just kind of messed up. He was an alcoholic and nearly died multiple times in car crashes and I think he's still dating this nasty lady after he divorced my really cool aunt. One of my cousins had to live with my grandma for years because he didn't get his license until 22 and hangs out with all the wrong people. He went to jail for a while, too, but he refuses to tell me what he was in for. My other cousin is violent. He's really cool, but he went to rehab for a long time and he bit me really hard one time as a joke. I'm scared to be around him sometimes.


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## Aestivate (Jul 14, 2015)

Other than my father being an alcoholic, I've a pretty normal family. However, it does end up being a big problem not only for the relation between my mom and my dad and me and my dad. But also for my mom and I and connections outside of the family. I hate to call him my dad as he never was there for me and his autism doesn't make it any better. My mom and I have our own problems and sometimes my dad will just be too much to handle. Anyway, we'll have to deal with it. I'm a way better position than my mom. I can move out, I can start my own life. But my mom is still very financial dependent of my dad and it's her husband, the one she wanted to share her life with. 

I don't wish my mom would have never married him, my mom had some great times with him even although he has been drinking enormous amounts since he was 16. I do wish that my mom would find the turning point in her life, even if she can't get out of this situation. I've been able to not see this person as my dad anymore, I don't care anything about me and any affection that he shows is totally dead to me. I hope my mom will be able to also do this one day. The constant talks with psychologists have helped with me and they're still helping, I hope they'll for my mom too one day even though she is stuck in the situation and had many more years to go trough this than me, and probably many more years to come.
When my dad stops working, loses his job or dies, my mom will finally be able to get a fully healthy life and it also gives the opportunity to make our family bond stronger. 

I wish it would all go faster, or maybe I wish it would just already be over. I think I'm unable to tell what I and the people around me have experienced all those years in just one page. To be honest, I don't even want to make it that long. I want to close that chapter of my life as much as I possibly can in this situation and therefore I need to stop caring about it.


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## P.K. (Jul 14, 2015)

Spoiler: TW: CSA, Abuse



Most of the problems in my family stems from my dad. I have very conflicting feelings about him since sometimes he's nice but other times he's downright terrifying. I believe the first time I realized this was when I was around 5-6 years old and I threw a childish tantrum which in the end, I got punished for with lashes from his leather belt. This started the cycle of physical punishment upon my siblings and I if we were to put one toe out of line, he'd take out his belt or whatever object he can get his hands on to hit us. He has a very short temper and will throw a tantrum if things don't go his way. Sometimes I get hit on the head for asking normal questions or if I didn't understand something he said. If we were to defend ourselves in any way he would just say, "Are you negotiating with me?" very threateningly and this was an obvious sign he was going to get very mad at us.

But I believe the one on the short end of the stick is my mom since there's a lot of stuff she deals with when I'm at school and even once asked me to check if she had a bruise on her face because my dad started chucking things at her. One time he even smashed our car window and is prone to destroying things or lashing out when in a temper. That and I've been noticing he's been drinking now as well which is starting to put me on edge. My mom has expressed many times that she wants to leave him but she just keeps forgiving him and the cycle continues.

Of course this didn't leave us unscathed and we ended up with anger problems as well growing up due to his treatment but the one who scarily took after him the most was my older brother. He's just like my dad and is just as prone to violent temper tantrums and it's at its worst when my parents aren't home and he directs his anger at us. Once he punched my head and I ended up colliding into the wall and he always tries to egg me on into a literal physical fight with him even if I don't want to and he makes it obvious that he just wants to beat me. He even once made me feel ****ty but repeatedly saying to my face that everyone hates me and how I'm low on his list of priorities. We end up into a lot of verbal fights but mostly it's because it's because of me standing up against him to defend my younger siblings and I our worst fight was around a month ago and he was being a **** as usual to my little brother and yelling at him and it ended up into a scream fest which ended up with me yelling out that he doesn't care what we do so long as we fear him which ended up with him throwing a glass bowl at my legs which resulted in bloody cuts.

But out of everything he did to me, this was the one thing was the worst. My family and I ended up in a financial problem and tried to find a new house which resulted in my siblings and I living my with my grandparents while they lived in a small apartment two cities away. I was 12 years old at the time and barely had much knowledge about sex and such. My brother and I got into a huge fight as usual but when we made up, he ended up doing all these sexual acts to me which ended up with him nearly completely raping me even though I was already physically struggling and crying. Until now I have only told two people about it because I still feel guilty about what happened and now feel disgusted and go into traumatic flashbacks from that night. Now I can't bear to go into any form of physical contact with him without being disgusted and I can't trust him going near my younger sister in fear it may happen to her one day and I'm fiercely protective of her because of that.


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## Celestefey (Jul 14, 2015)

Hettie said:


> [size=-2]I would really just like to take the time to remind you guys how loved and important you are. Don't really know any one personally, but sharing your experiences here, even if it is through the candidacy of the internet, makes me extremely proud to be a part of BTB. Probably very sappy, but it takes a lot of courage to go through what you guys have and be brave enough to share it.
> 
> I also would really like to encourage the younger side to definitely find someone you can talk to, either a trusted teacher, relative or another adult you feel safe with, and discuss what you're going through. It can be very hard having to deal with everything on top of all your other life (like school or work or sports, etc.) so please, please PLEASE practice your bravery and strength offline as well, even if you have to do it one short talk at a time, for one minute, or for one day a week. There's nothing wrong with taking baby steps in taking care of yourself.[/size]



Agreed. It's sad reading all of these posts. You never actually realise how bad someones home life can be until you ask about them or hear someone talk about it.  Sending everyone in this thread lots of hugs.



Spoiler



Anyway I suppose I have a dysfunctional family I guess? Idk... Things have settled down a lot more now but like last year it was just terrible... My parents used to argue ALL the time. My dad would shout and argue with my mum over the most ridiculous things and it just made the house have this horrible atmosphere. I would hide away in my room and just talk to my friends online because it was the only place I could feel comfortable and safe, trying to avoid conflicts between my parents. My dad and I argue a lot, too. Mostly because I just am sick and tired of his **** and how he treats people, and I just can't be bothered with it. He's very homophobic too. He denies it and says he is "accepting of gay people" but it's a load of rubbish because he always complains about people who basically aren't heterosexual and says he can't stand them (I'm bisexual, by the way)... He also thinks that having online friends is bad. I've had to keep a lot of big secrets from him. Same with my mum. I don't often tell my parents a lot of things just because I know they won't react well to them. I couldn't tell them how I would contemplate suicide a lot at one point in my life, and how depressed I felt, or how I felt so anxious I used to dread going to school so much it made me cry and have break downs. They would just tell me that I need to "get over it" and stop being so stupid. :\ Fortunately my problems aren't so bad anymore, and I seem to have just accepted that my parents don't have to know everything in my life and it's okay to have some secrets - I'm fortunate enough to have friends who will listen to me and accept me for who I am no matter what.

So yeah. My parents split up last year and now I live mostly with my mum. My dad still treats me badly and I don't know if I am going to end up wanting to stay with him anymore. I remember one Christmas he screamed at me and it made me cry so much and he dragged me across the room, almost strangled me, and then I was so scared I was planning to just run away. I wanted to just get out the house. I was going to go to the shopping centre and spend the day there until my mum saw me getting my bag. Often I used to look forward to Christmas, only for it to be ruined by him, just because he would be in a bad mood and would start stressing and cause arguments... Thankfully last Christmas was much better because it was just me, my mum, and my brother. Same with going on holiday. He insults me a lot, calling me selfish, childish, ugly, fat, etc...

The problem with my mum now is that she has a boyfriend and he is always at our house. He is always staying at our house. He practically lives there. I don't have a problem with him but it's just the fact he is always there. It makes it so awkward and I barely even know him. She has been with him for really only a year. She changes so much when she's with him and it's just... I dunno, I just don't like it. I can't accept it. My mum is forcing this onto me so quickly when I am just not interested. My dad does have a girlfriend too but even then I don't mind it as much because I don't see her ALL the time, so when I do it isn't so bad because it feels like he isn't forcing her to be a part of our life just yet. My mum makes me feel like **** for not wanting to accept him just yet and guilt trips me and makes me feel bad. I don't know how I can convince her or even get her to understand. My mum lied to me and my brother because of him. She betrayed our trust. She cheated on my dad with him, I suppose... Even though she was planning on breaking up with my dad at the time. It just made me so upset and made me feel so betrayed and disgusted. She yells at me and tells me I need to grow up and stop being so stupid. She tells me that the reason I have no friends is because I'm a bad person. My brother has also said to me before "This is why nobody likes you Lucy". Even when I ask her for help she just tells me to get over it. She makes me cry a lot and then after she's done yelling at me she will say how she feels like a "failure of a mother", and tries to make me feel all sorry for her. It's just so ridiculous.

Anyway yeah. Thankfully things have been a bit better lately. But I have some memories of my childhood that just make me so upset and distressed, and I also still am anxious about how the future will turn out.


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## Perri (Jul 14, 2015)

I love my Dad, but he won't talk to his parents, niece, or his sister anymore. This has been going on for about 10 years now. My paternal grandparents were having a 50th wedding anniversary when I was 5 or so. My Dad wouldn't go for whatever reason, so my Mom took me with her alone, which was apparently against his wishes. That and another time when they were in Brooklyn visiting did I ever see them. My Dad was furious when we came back home. For the next 9 years we would quietly call my grandparents and my aunt to see how they were, to wish them happy birthday or a merry Christmas. Previously this year they invited us to hang out in NY and catch up, and when my Mother asked him he said no and he yelled at us to stop all communications. He ignores his parent's phone calls, he doesn't even cash in the checks they give him, or open his cards to see what they wrote. He fills up his voicemail with old messages so no one, not even my mom and I can contact him. The best thing for us to do is to play it safe and not talk about his family. 

This year he's actually showed me photos from his childhood, including his family. On Father's Day we called him before we went home from a small trip to see friends, and he told us to wish his father a happy Father's Day. Imagine if your close family didn't respond to you at all, didn't accept your gifts, didn't visit you when you were in town? And what if you weren't doing so well? My grandparents aren't getting younger, and my grandpa is ill.

My maternal grandmother has been through a lot. She says, "Scratch at any family, and you can see problems." And it's true. My 2nd cousins don't eat enough and disobey their parents a lot. And my not-really-a-cousin Alex, previously Naomi, is dealing with going through school and family issues.


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## AndroGhostX (Jul 14, 2015)

*hugs everyone* ^-^ It sucks that life shouldn't be this way but it is... I want to say that it does get better over time  It may not seem like it will, but it does and I know that from personal experience. So I just want to tell everyone to stay strong :3 Try not to let the past influence you and change your behavior to become like the family members or people in your life who are causing you pain. I say this because, there are people who react to this this behavior of their parents or siblings or anyone and do things that will cause other people pain because it's either all they know to do or they're acting on anger from those experiences. I've heard that what you go through in your childhood, your children will face in some way. That's most likely if you let the behaviors and thoughts of your parents become a cycle for your family.



Spoiler



My past isn't as bad as everyone else's but I still don't think it's all that great as it should be. Another thing is that I don't let my past influence my future meaning I've let it go. It's the past and now that I've gotten over it and I don't want to let it hurt me anymore, I don't see it as an obstacle that can do harm to me and prevent me from moving forward. I've found closure (kind of). It's my family that is more "dysfunctional". I am dsyfunctional in my own way but I had never caused any arguments with my family because I keep everything inside. Everything with my family as a whole started around when I was 12, but everything that affected me with my family and other people started very young for me, probably around 8 or 9. I'll start with my parents... My parents are still married and they don't argue very often. The only time they did was when it involved my siblings and they didn't agree with each other. I can only think of one time where that happened. My family would argue as a whole when my parents agree but wouldn't take my siblings' sides. In arguments (although I usually stayed away from them because both parties were annoying for the reason that they were arguing over) I'd usually take my siblings sides because that was always the more reasonable side. My dad is a very nice and forgiving person but there have been times where he'd hit my siblings out of anger, which is scary seeing that side of him, because of things my siblings have done. My mom has hit my siblings before for the same reasons as well. Maybe every parent can't really hold back because of all the stress and so they lose their reason. I don't agree that they have the right to hit their children though because it could damage or kill the child and it's hostile in general. She also has depression which was passed down to her children so we've all been dysfunctional because of that. My mom's also very judgmental which I've always hated about her so I can't stand her because of that. My parents are dysfunctional also in that they don't know how to raise children or how to punish/ground children. My siblings and I have to learn everything on our own and my parents haven't been very supportive towards my siblings (besides my older brother and myself but that was very vague and not in depth). The good thing is that my parents have each other to support and love even if they don't have their children to do that (although I've been trying to be there for them but they get on my nerves and they don't seem to care...). I do know that they care, they're just bad at expressing their emotions especially affection.

A brief part about siblings and relatives.... My sister and I were exposed to some sexual experiences with my cousin while my sister was forced to be exposed to that with my older brother. All of my siblings either drink or do drugs or smoke. My sister is the only one who is trying to quit and it's really worse with one of my brothers. They've all had their depressed episodes that one point but my sister and my brother had it worse. I don't really care to help them because I've learned that the best way to help someone with depression or drug abuse/alcoholism is for them to realize what they are doing isn't good for their future. They have to understand what they are doing isn't right, and if they don't understand that then they won't try to change even if they tell you that they will.

Then how my family have affected me... 
My siblings would call me names (like most siblings do and always try to put each other down). Yet I took what they said seriously so I'd stay in my room to prevent it from happening to me. That's what caused my depression but it eventually developed with other events. I also believe those events may have caused me to be so insecure and pessimistic, but that may just be a characteristic of my personality. There was also a time when my siblings became physically abusive (but it wasn't very harsh) towards me and so I escaped by hiding in my room. My siblings have always been close to each other and I was close with my siblings when we played AC until they quit so I became the outcast basically and now I can't really have a relationship with them because I pushed them away and they pushed me away. I was sexually harassed online on a gaming site (I was too young and stupid to get out of the situation) for a couple of years which affected me for about 6 years afterwards. That made me have a lot of fears and prevented me from moving forward in life. I eventually got over it by talking about it with one of my ex lovers who was very supportive and understanding. Along with that event, I had told a friend about it who told my sister about it who told my mom about it. The thing is that my friend or my sister told my mom wrong and so I really didn't want to bother speaking to her about it because it no longer affected me and I've put it in the past and I was so mad that they even told her and told her incorrectly that I was too angry to speak about it. I still haven't told her about it because it's the past and it doesn't do me any harm so why should I talk to her about it? I've gotten over my depression a lot but there are times I get depressed because I'm indecisive about my future and my parents haven't really raised me so I don't have some things that are essential for starting a life in the real world.


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## Wittle_Munchkin (Jul 15, 2015)

If you're up for a drama-filled ride, feel free to click on my tag below. Get a glimpse of my crappy childhood. 



Spoiler: WARNING: My story is long.



My mom has been married to five different men. All of them have been abusive towards me and my family as I grew up. 

The first man she married was 20 and she was 16. She moved with him back to his country (Indonesia) so she could escape her alcoholic father, memories of her mom who died from the complications of a terrible car accident, and her schizophrenic brother who had a violent drug addiction that contributed to his death as well. She gave birth to my older sister and brother before she reached 18. At Indonesia, women were supposed to be submissive to men (especially during marriage) so she was beaten whenever she didn't do what her husband asked of her. When she had enough of it, she took my brother and sister out of the country with her and didn't look back once she signed divorce papers.

When my brother and sister were 4-5, they had joined custody with their dad. He suggested taking them to Disneyland when he visited the U.S. and my mom allowed him. He didn't take them to Disneyland. Instead, he kidnapped them and went back to Indonesia. My mom did everything she could to get them back, but since it was outside of our country, the authorities told her that there was nothing they could do until they turned 18. 

She gave birth to me about a decade later (She didn't marry my biological father. He left her and I don't know what he looks like.) and then married another man shortly before my little brother came into the picture. 
Husband #2 cheated on my mom while he was stationed in Cuba (army) and my mom found out about it because the woman he had an affair with called the house phone saying she was pregnant with his child. She left him and became a single mom for me and my little brother up until we reached the age of 7. She worked 3 jobs and barely managed to pay the bills. 

Another guy got to know her and we eventually moved in with him. He was narcissistic, selfish, emotionally/mentally abusive, codependent, and loved to scream/cuss at only me and my brother. He had strict rules and harsher punishments. 
My brother and I weren't allowed to go outside and play with friends. Even though TV was all we had to stray from boredom, we were only allowed to watch 1 episode per day. We weren't allowed to EVER touch the walls or other possessions that weren't our toys. If we cried, he told us to shut up. If we needed something small like school supplies/new clothes/etc, he made up any possible excuse to explain why we didn't deserve/need them. He threatened to "beat the ****" out of us if we didn't talk to him in a more than happy tone. He was also a hoarder. (Watch the show called extreme hoarding.) The house wasn't unsanitary, but it was full of junk and we could barely move through the halls unless I secretly threw junk away. My mom and her boyfriend never attended my choir concerts. They didn't let me go to church with my best friend. My mom's boyfriend found a way to ground me all the time. He refused to help me when I was struggling with math in elementary school and called me 'stupid' for not understanding the 'common sense' behind math. (I still hate math to this day.) My mom stayed with him so he could financially support us, so whenever I begged her to leave him, she'd convince me that anywhere else would be worse than with him. To comfort me and my brother, she told me that as soon as she made enough money, we'd move far away from him. 

Before I turned 12, she picked me and my brother up from school early and told us, "I had movers pack our stuff. We're moving to another state with man who wants to be your stepfather. We're leaving this abuse." 
My best friend of 8 years who helped me through everything imaginable that happened burst into tears over the news when I called her. I wasn't allowed to say goodbye to her in person and it broke my heart. 
I didn't say goodbye to my other family members, teachers, or anybody. We just... left. 

We moved in with husband #3. We lived in a state that was cold, rainy, and gloomy 24/7. I had no friends for awhile and I felt alienated in the very house a stranger offered me. After 6 months, I got used to him and even called him "dad" for awhile. To sum it all up, he later abused us too and I caught his history on a dating site that he forgot to erase. I told my mom he was cheating and she took me and my brother back to the 'strict dad'. She promised us that she had been talking to him again and he promised he was completely changed.

He was, but in a way, _he also wasn't_. He was just abusive less often than before. 
He didn't stop treating us horribly until I told my high school teachers and psychologists about my home life. 
When I told them about him and they demanded him to stop, I felt like I had the whole world by my side. My best friend from before still kept in contact with me everyday after I moved and we were inseparable when I came back; that aspect helped a lot too. 
My mom married husband (and former boyfriend) #4. She owns a business that makes her a ton of money. I graduated high school with good grades, many friends, and supportive church leaders. I graduated with happiness; almost as if I lived a life the complete opposite of mine. 

I'm older now. I'm strong. I know what abuse/manipulation is because I've probably experienced every aspect of it for myself. Since I know what it is, I can tell when someone treats me like crap. I'll gladly cut contact with anybody who tries to take advantage of me or my kindness. I know I probably need cognitive therapy to treat what happened to me, but I don't know if I should accept it right now. I have no time for it.

My brother and sister are back in the States. I'm closer than ever with my sister, but my older brother can't be trusted. (He's jobless, has a newborn child, dating a psycho chick who threatens/spreads rumors about anybody she meets, etc)
My other-than-immediate family members don't bother keeping in contact with my parents anymore.
My current stepdad (the strict one) is terminally ill and recently survived a 2 week coma in the hospital. (Don't know how long he has now, but he seems okay for the time being.)
My parents seem to respect me A LOT more now that I'm older. It's annoying they didn't before, but I'll have to accept it. 
I convinced my parents to move into a huge and beautiful house by the end of this month, but since they're hoarders, I have to throw away/give up all their junk before the deadline. 
I'm reclaiming the lost years of my social life.
My little brother is clinically depressed and barely passed high school a couple of months ago. (He stayed home for school this senior year and I secretly had to do 8 classes worth of his assignments... and I had to stay home for 8 hours a week while his teachers taught him 1-on-1. I was already taking 5 college courses of my own for pre-law and I had to drop two of them. :/ Sigh. I stayed up all night almost every day and now that everything is taken care of, it has caused me to have sleeping problems. My body has trained itself to stay awake until after 2 AM.)
I'M TAKING A BREAK.
I DON'T WANT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT TACKLING ALL THE CRAP I'VE BEEN THROUGH. I just want peace. 
I want to enjoy my new house and relationship with my parents while they're still on this earth. 
Venting about this made me feel so much better though. 

Sorry if this post was tmi. I really wanted to let out my frustration. Nobody I talk to in person knows about my home-life except my best friends and boyfriend. :T All of my friends think I have it all, but I reeeallyy don't. They only see what I allow them to see and it might be better that way. I also hate to say this... but I have a hard time trusting men. I have many sweet guy friends, but they don't know that I would never trust them because of how many men have deeply hurt me, my mom, and my brother. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust men as much as I trust women. It sucks.


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## epona (Jul 15, 2015)

my family is dysfunctional in that it looks absolutely perfect and the model family from the outside but none of us can stand each other and my parents are pretty crap when it comes to looking out for their kids


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## Hulaette (Jul 21, 2015)

Vent of the day

Just because when I say "Hi" to the old lady it doesn't mean we're supposed to have a conversation. She seems to think that's what the purpose of a greeting is. #@%!! I can't stand this freaking lady! She is such a debbie downer. I just wonder how long I have to put up with her crap. I hate knowing I have to wake up everyday to see her annoying face. Like wtf she expects everyone to be happy and cheerful just because she is? And when she has a bad day she expects everyone to feel the same way? She sometimes pulls guilt trips on everyone. She was saying "oh I know I'm a lot of work" or "don't worry about me I'm a burden" like wtf? Why would you say that to your own family? She just doesn't! get it!! %$#@!!


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## Alice (Jul 21, 2015)

I wish you guys luck.


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## Hulaette (Jul 21, 2015)

If I may ask...what disease does your mother have?


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## Alice (Jul 21, 2015)

--snip--


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## Hulaette (Jul 22, 2015)

Ugh. I hate those kind of illnesses. God forbid anyone in my family gets that. I'm trying to be a better person so I don't get that kind of karma.


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## Alice (Jul 22, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> Ugh. I hate those kind of illnesses. God forbid anyone in my family gets that. I'm trying to be a better person so I don't get that kind of karma.



I'm an idiot.


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## Hulaette (Jul 22, 2015)

That sucks major crap. I come from a place where my kind don't take kindly to people with those kind od illnesses. But I'm not gonna bad mouth your mother because I made myself pretty clear in another thread a while ago.


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## Hettie (Jul 22, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> That sucks major crap. I come from a place where my kind don't take kindly to people with those kind od illnesses. But I'm not gonna bad mouth your mother because I made myself pretty clear in another thread a while ago.



[size=-2]You make it sound like these diseases are something people bring upon themselves or are something not to take kindly to because they "deserve" it. Unless you just didn't word it properly...What do you mean by "your kind" exactly? You're human, are you not? You mentioned earlier you have Asperger's. Did you bring that on yourself?

Not trying to be mean, but a lot of the things you say are pretty offensive to others, although I understand why you might not see it that way.[/size]


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## hzl (Jul 22, 2015)

My family is definitely what you'd describe as dysfunctional. We've been through hell and back with each other but we get by nowadays

I don't really want to share this kinda stuff on the internet but I can empathize with you guys
*hugs*


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## CoobaCupcake (Jul 22, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> That sucks major crap. I come from a place where my kind don't take kindly to people with those kind od illnesses. But I'm not gonna bad mouth your mother because I made myself pretty clear in another thread a while ago.



Look, I think you have a bit of an attitude problem. First of all, calling her "the old lady" is extremely rude. Secondly, if she has dementia, she can't help it. You say she knows what she's doing. How do you know that? Everything you've said on this thread has been very offensive. So you need to chill.

Oh, and it's spelled "dysfunctional".


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## kaitastrophe (Jul 22, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> That sucks major crap. I come from a place where my kind don't take kindly to people with those kind od illnesses. But I'm not gonna bad mouth your mother because I made myself pretty clear in another thread a while ago.



I've come here to show my support to all these people, because it makes me sad to know and accept that there are bad people in this world, hurting people that dont deserve it.
But no offense, you get on my nerves.
Everything you say is offensive, and you could word your posts a bit better.
People don't get cancer because of karma.
People don't get Parkinson's or Huntington's because of karma.
This is NOT something you can bring upon yourself.
It's something that happens because it's genetic and your mother/grandmother or any other close family member had it, or you got very sick or were exposed to some kind of virus.
It's not karma.
It is also VERY rude to call the lady with dementia 'the old lady'.
You also say VERY rude things about her. ITS NOT HER FAULT SHE HAS DEMENTIA.
Its not ANYBODIES fault. Thats just how life is.
You have to be PATIENT with her.
Most people with dementia dont know what they're saying half the time, so you have to constantly treat them with kindness and patience.
Soon, they'll treat you the same, even if you say it wont happen or if it takes days, months, YEARS even.
What exactly do you mean by 'your kind'? Your pod?
Are you human or not? 
In reality, you're not supporting these people.
You're making them feel WORSE.
Anyways, Im so sorry your mother has Huntington's. 
I knew someone (my third grade PE teacher) that had Parkinson's, and she would just sit there in front of us, shaking, and then she would go limp and her body would fall on the floor.
Everybody laughed at her, and I felt awful because I couldn't help her.
One day, she never came back.
One of my very close friends died of cancer, and I got very sad. I wanted to cry, but I couldnt.
I was like a stone, and I beat myself up about it afterwards.


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 22, 2015)

pandycake said:


> I've come here to show my support to all these people, because it makes me sad to know and accept that there are bad people in this world, hurting people that dont deserve it.
> But no offense, you get on my nerves.
> Everything you say is offensive, and you could word your posts a bit better.
> People don't get cancer because of karma.
> ...


agree with this post, and i'm so sorry about your friend. My grandmother died of cancer when I was twelve. we were extremely close and I still haven't forgiven myself for not doing everything I could with her. I am genuinely so sorry for your loss. and about the teacher with parkinsons that's a really sad story. I hope they found somewhere a little more accepting


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 22, 2015)

accidental double post like

- - - Post Merge - - -



hzl said:


> My family is definitely what you'd describe as dysfunctional. We've been through hell and back with each other but we get by nowadays
> 
> I don't really want to share this kinda stuff on the internet but I can empathize with you guys
> *hugs*



Hugs for you my friend. I hope life goes your way :3


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## kaitastrophe (Jul 22, 2015)

yoshiskye1 said:


> agree with this post, and i'm so sorry about your friend. My grandmother died of cancer when I was twelve. we were extremely close and I still haven't forgiven myself for not doing everything I could with her. I am genuinely so sorry for your loss. and about the teacher with parkinsons that's a really sad story. I hope they found somewhere a little more accepting



Thank you!
They're in a better place now :')


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## jasa11 (Jul 22, 2015)

eh my fam deals it pretty clean we sell they get the stuff we get the money quick and easy.


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## kaitastrophe (Jul 22, 2015)

jasa11 said:


> eh my fam deals it pretty clean we sell they get the stuff we get the money quick and easy.



?
What?
Sorry but I dont understand.


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 22, 2015)

jasa11 said:


> eh my fam deals it pretty clean we sell they get the stuff we get the money quick and easy.



yh yh fam that's great how bout you like get off this thread man take ur chav trolls elsewhere 
g

- - - Post Merge - - -



pandycake said:


> ?
> What?
> Sorry but I dont understand.



it's okay. most people don't speak troll or chav. just let the hardman post his posts and we can swiftly move on


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## Alice (Jul 22, 2015)

yoshiskye1 said:


> agree with this post, and i'm so sorry about your friend. My grandmother died of cancer when I was twelve. we were extremely close and I still haven't forgiven myself for not doing everything I could with her. I am genuinely so sorry for your loss. and about the teacher with parkinsons that's a really sad story. I hope they found somewhere a little more accepting



I brought this up myself awhile ago when the thread first started, but a few people jumped on me for being displeased with her.


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## radical6 (Jul 23, 2015)

i cant cope with my stepdads abuse and my fathers abuse so now i just have breakdowns randomly and its pretty great love my life


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## kaitastrophe (Jul 23, 2015)

Well, you said this thread was to share stories 'bout your life, sooo here I go...
Um... What is there to say?
Thankfully, no one in my [close] family is sick or has an injury, (except for my mom who has had three hernia operations in a year. that was a few years ago tho.)
I have two little brothers who are the light of my life, even though the littlest one cracked his chin and the oldest had to get stitches two times in the same place on his forehead. (Both are younger than me though- Im the oldest.)
My dad is SUPER immature (more so than my brothers) and he plays with us a lot and makes me and my family laugh a lot.
When we play Just Dance, he makes the dance look pointless and silly and we all double over in laughter.
My grandma also lives with me.
She is mean and loud at times, but I know she loves me and its all verbal, thank gosh.
She's been through hard times in her life, as well as my mom, since they were both abused when they were young.
So yeah!


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 23, 2015)

justice said:


> i cant cope with my stepdads abuse and my fathers abuse so now i just have breakdowns randomly and its pretty great love my life



that really sucks. my dad was periodically abusive, mainly to my older brother when I was about 4-6 and my brother 7-9. I remember this one time when my brother was nine, my dad picked him up by the ankle and slammed him into a wall after they got into a fight. my mum finally said that enough was enough and my dad moved out for a year, I saw him one for that year on my birthday (which is coincidentally also my parents wedding anniversary) it was hard for me at the time as my dad is a great one and he really loves all three of us- but temper and alcohol were his weaknesses. When he came back after a year though he had ditched the alcohol and had anger management therapy and when he came through the door on my birthday to tell us he was back forever and he would never hurt us again I just cried and cried because I really love him. I can understand the hurt when you go through abuse inflicted by one of the people who is meant to love you the most. however I can't possibly imagine what you've been through. constant abuse by one person and then the person meant to act in their stead. All I can say is that my thoughts go out to you and even though you may feel unloved there are so many people who genuinely care for you. You are irreplaceable, just remember that and honestly, if I ever heard something happened to you I would cry. I may not know you but still, just wait until you can move out and surround yourself with people who will love and respect you. Stay strong <3


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## Dragonqueen0912 (Jul 23, 2015)

pandycake said:


> Hey, I understand you're angry and trying to vent out your feelings, but the way you're saying it is very rude and nasty. Also, that is a very touchy subject and could offend some people, and most people dont want to talk about it.



Sure, but having a mental illness or disease doesn't excuse ****** behavior. You can have a illness and still be a bad person, just as you can be a good person. 

Talking bad about the illness itself is not okay, but excusing their behavior because of it isn't any better than talking bad about the illness itself.

I haven't really read up upon this thread since I've been busy, I just wanted to point out that you can't excuse these behaviors out of pity or whatever. That's not how it works and it's not cool, don't encourage them, they can still learn right from wrong. If you excuse them, nothing will change, nothing will get better, and it's make it worse by belittling them to worthless beings who need your pity and can't take a little talk on whats ok and whats not.

I hope I'm not starting anything? I'm just trying to state my opinion on the matter.


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## Hulaette (Jul 23, 2015)

Thank you! At least someone gets what I'm trying to say! That is the situation that I'm going through now. I'm not saying who but certain people make up excuses for the old ladies behavior. What makes me angry the most is that the old ladies daughter enables her to make her think what she says is okay and that is NOT FAIR to everyone else!!


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## Alice (Jul 23, 2015)

Not gonna start a fight.


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 23, 2015)

okay okay everybody calm down. this is a nice thread for people and the last thing we want is for it to become some massive argument with everyone being rude to eachother. just think before you comment and if you think it could offend anyone for a valid reason (yes VALID) just don't post it


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## Hulaette (Jul 24, 2015)

Vent of the day

It irritates the hell outta me when the old lady asks really stupid questions on purpose. There are times when she gets all cocky in front of everyone when she catches a chance to say "Hi" to me and than when I leave the room she starts talking behind my back. And she wonders why i never want to talk to her? %$#@! She needs to have more respect around here. She is so full of herself!


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## kaitastrophe (Jul 24, 2015)

I'm just going to leave quietly.
I don't want to start a fight or anything.


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## CoobaCupcake (Jul 24, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> Thank you! At least someone gets what I'm trying to say! That is the situation that I'm going through now. I'm not saying who but certain people make up excuses for the old ladies behavior. What makes me angry the most is that the old ladies daughter enables her to make her think what she says is okay and that is NOT FAIR to everyone else!!



It's not making up excuses she has a legitimate excuse! She has dementia. According to MayoClinic, symptoms include forgetfulness, limited social skills, and impaired thinking. That is an excuse. She can't help it. And calling her "the old lady" just makes you look like a spoiled brat.


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## Hulaette (Jul 24, 2015)

If one fails to comprehend and act on the daily basics of everyday life than the person is outdated and no longer has any purpose of living. That is what I strongly believe in.


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> Vent of the day
> 
> It irritates the hell outta me when the old lady asks really stupid questions on purpose. There are times when she gets all cocky in front of everyone when she catches a chance to say "Hi" to me and than when I leave the room she starts talking behind my back. And she wonders why i never want to talk to her? %$#@! She needs to have more respect around here. She is so full of herself!



okay so if I'm reading this right

- you hate her because ?\_(ツ)_/?
- she's trying to fix things by just talking to you every once in a while
- saying hi is a ~*violation of your human rights*~ so you ignore here and run away (what even)
- she civilly expresses her displeasure and doesn't try to bother you
- therefore she is an evil senile serial killer, lolz

- - - Post Merge - - -



Geekaloompa said:


> If one fails to comprehend and act on the daily basics of everyday life than the person is outdated and no longer has any purpose of living. That is what I strongly believe in.



what the actual ****


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 24, 2015)

i am actually so genuinely confused by some of the posts on here right now my brain can't handle it
like whaaaaaaa


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

geekaloompa do you support eugenics


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 24, 2015)

^ i second that question as i'm quite confused as to your logic in many of your recent posts. Are you a believer in social Darwinism?


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## Hettie (Jul 24, 2015)

I can forsee this thread becoming a potential means of harrassment, so I would like to suggest maybe closing it and using your bell tree blog for future vents/rants. That way you can still post your opinion for people to see without starting any controversy.


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

okay sorry but I don't think she should be able to post her fantasies about killing ill old women anywhere


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## CoobaCupcake (Jul 24, 2015)

Aye yo mods. This thread is pretty dysfunctional (I can spell)


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## Hulaette (Jul 24, 2015)

pillow bunny said:


> okay sorry but I don't think she should be able to post her fantasies about killing ill old women anywhere



I'm not killing anyone! I am just explaining what I believe in.


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 24, 2015)

CoobaCupcake said:


> Aye yo mods. This thread is pretty dysfunctional (I can spell)



yeah the title is genuinely starting to bug my spelling Nazi side. Plus this thread started off okay and as a nice place for people to vent but now i'm confused as to why it's become kinda.....medieval in the views put across


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

the thread actually started off the same way but nobody said anything because they figured the op was just mad and not an uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuuwuwuwu


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 24, 2015)

pillow bunny said:


> the thread actually started off the same way but nobody said anything because they figured the op was just mad and not completely insane



ok no need for personal attacks, if you do that- it's no different

OP, i think you should close this thread as some things you've posted have caused a fair bit of confusion and quite a lot of offence and this thread will just become a huge debate ground where everyone is just flaming eachother. Agree with a previous poster on the blog thing. But your choice i guess


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

pillow bunny said:


> okay so if I'm reading this right
> 
> - you hate her because ?\_(ツ)_/?
> - she's trying to fix things by just talking to you every once in a while
> ...





pillow bunny said:


> geekaloompa do you support eugenics



op told me that both these assumptions were correct, so yes i do think that she's actually a poopy smelly fart butt uwu


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## yoshiskye1 (Jul 24, 2015)

pillow bunny said:


> op told me that both these assumptions were correct, so yes i do think that she's actually insane



still doesn't require you to express that. not saying i agree with what OP is saying- just you aren't going to benefit this thread in any way by calling her insane


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

i guess that was a bit harsh. i'll edit my post to replace it with some flowery hippie insult


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## Hulaette (Jul 24, 2015)

pillow bunny said:


> i guess that was a bit harsh. i'll edit my post to replace it with some flowery hippie insult



Yea, that's right. Share the love dude! ^_^


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

my intent is still the same


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## Hulaette (Jul 24, 2015)

Well if you sole intent is to come on my thread and insult me than that isn't the right thread to be on.


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## pillow bunny (Jul 24, 2015)

okay I'm going to go make a racism thread now no hating uwu


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## Soda Fox (Jul 24, 2015)

I have a couple parts of my family that I consider dysfunctional. One involves my dad and his mom (my grandma).  She is a lady who has (according to my mother) never said "I love you" to another human being.  I think it drove my dad sort of crazy, because he always seems to be trying to gain acceptance from other people, to try to be "the cool guy".  His divorce of my mom seems to have mellowed him out a bit, and he seems to be finding some of his own happiness, which I'm glad for.

My mom is now marrying a guy she has known scarcely a year.  I'm glad she's happy, but my stomach roils with how this will work out for her and the guy she's marrying (she moved in ~ a month ago and she's RENOVATED HIS WHOLE HOUSE)  maybe he's happy with it, but... I dunno.  Gut feeling says that she's going to not be in this marriage the rest of her life.  If she does, GREAT!  I hope she does!

I have some a lot of other family stuff too but I don't really want to take up a whole page worth of words, especially when I have something else to say, something I think that's more important than "your family isn't dysfunctional!   HERE is a dysfunctional family!!!"

Everyone has their own struggles, their own burdens.  Things that may seem trivial to you might mean the world to someone else.  Especially in family situations because, I dunno, maybe because the person in question is their family.  Family is a very unique bond, and how all those members interact can have a lot more impact on someone than any other bonds they may have.


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## Dragonqueen0912 (Jul 25, 2015)

Yeah, I do believe that you shouldn't excuse ****ty behavior because of a mental illness, but some of the points you're making don't really make sense. I guess I could see where you're coming from, and I know it's hard to live with that, but it's not really a excuse. I haven't actually seen how you're living, or your point of view, so I don't feel like I can say that you're a spoiled brat or anything.

But just give her a chance? Don't just run off every time she tries to talk to you.


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## radical6 (Jul 25, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> If one fails to comprehend and act on the daily basics of everyday life than the person is outdated and no longer has any purpose of living. That is what I strongly believe in.



i agree, kill me


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## Hulaette (Jul 25, 2015)

Dragonqueen0912 said:


> Yeah, I do believe that you shouldn't excuse ****ty behavior because of a mental illness, but some of the points you're making don't really make sense. I guess I could see where you're coming from, and I know it's hard to live with that, but it's not really a excuse. I haven't actually seen how you're living, or your point of view, so I don't feel like I can say that you're a spoiled brat or anything.
> 
> But just give her a chance? Don't just run off every time she tries to talk to you.



I just can't deal with her needy crap anymore. As much as I actually understand what dementia is I just have a different point of view. There is 6 people living in the house and the old lady acts like she is so lonely and constantly expects everyone to be in the dam room to pay attention to her. CONSTANTLY!!!! She freaking "tattles" on me as soon as I leave the room. Like: "oh Claire got up and went downstairs" Or "Claire didn't even look at me and didn't say anything" This goes on EVERYDAY!! I wish people would see where I'm getting at and at least understand why I feel the way I do. Instead I get called an insane rude little brat.


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## Forek (Jul 25, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> I just can't deal with her needy crap anymore. As much as I actually understand what dementia is I just have a different point of view. There is 6 people living in the house and the old lady acts like she is so lonely and constantly expects everyone to be in the dam room to pay attention to her. CONSTANTLY!!!! She freaking "tattles" on me as soon as I leave the room. Like: "oh Claire got up and went downstairs" Or "Claire didn't even look at me and didn't say anything" This goes on EVERYDAY!! I wish people would see where I'm getting at and at least understand why I feel the way I do. Instead I get called an insane rude little brat.



ever thought she might have alshiemers??? they usually do that when they do... and i suggest mods close this as this is getting out of hand right now. when everybody calms down then somebody can reopen it. and i know a few stories about people taking care of somebody older, and they have it way worse. just saying


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## Hulaette (Jul 25, 2015)

Forek said:


> ever thought she might have alshiemers??? they usually do that when they do... and i suggest mods close this as this is getting out of hand right now. when everybody calms down then somebody can reopen it. and i know a few stories about people taking care of somebody older, and they have it way worse. just saying



You should read the entire thread before posting. beleive me, the old lady is headed down that road kiddo.


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## Forek (Jul 25, 2015)

Geekaloompa said:


> You should read the entire thread before posting. beleive me, the old lady is headed down that road kiddo.



well then she can't do anything can she?? like you cant control these things. not gonna post anymore


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## Chris (Jul 25, 2015)

I think this has run it's course.


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