# Serious Talk on Sex -Keep It Mature! description about a manga now added



## Fearthecuteness

*Serious Talk on Sex -Keep It Mature!*

I think we need a thread about sex here. There's so many things teenagers don't learn through sex education in school or get told wrong things by other people. You can get missguided through your life or not know something that you really should. There is so many things to learn about that even me (at 23) still learns about things I didn't know. 

This can be a place where young people can ask questions that they're not sure about and us older members here can guide you through things that you need to know. I don't know if this has already been done but I thought because so many people here trust each other and get along with other people it could be nice for people to ask people that they trust more. 

Also maybe if we get enough posts on here I might put a Q&A in the description here but depends how this goes.

Rules: 
-Nothing pornographic. Let's keep it educational. 
-Serious answer and serious questions only
-Judgemental/negative comments here will be reported
-Try and use the proper names for things as much as you can
-There are no stupid questions
-Answer questions only if you know the answer or you're just posting your opinions
-Have fun. ^.^

Useful links:

General
http://sexetc.org/
https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen (Quite graphic and has swearing)
http://realtalksexadvice.com/ (may be too graphic for younger ones.)

contraception
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/topics-issues/condom/841-condoms
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/contraception-guide/Pages/contraception.aspx (uk website but should be useful to everyone)

Female stuff
http://www.vaginapagina.com/

Manga
I'm not going to post the link here because I can get into a lot of trouble sending it to the young ones on here. >.> 
For those of you who do better reading a manga then a book there's one that is *very* educational but is also very graphic with the pictures. It says it's for 18 or older but I think a lot of mature 16 year olds (especially virgins) would be sort of appropriate so if you pm me asking for it I will check to make sure you are 16 or over and if you are I will tell you the name of the manga.

_Credit goes to fallenchaoskitten for reminding me about it_

If anyone has any useful links just message me or post it on here and I'll add it to the list. 

If anyone has a question they're too embarassed to ask on here feel free to pm me. If you'd like I could answer your question as best as I could then post the question on here annonymously so you get loads of helpful answers without everyone knowing who asked it.


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## staticistic1114

well.. when is a first time appropriate? .n.


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## Kildor

( ͡? ͜ʖ ͡?)
nteresting thread. I could ask some questions here


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## Poppyann

staticistic1114 said:


> well.. when is a first time appropriate? .n.



I feel like this depends on one's situation. For example, I don't think that anywhere below the age of 15 is really appropriate in anybody's situation. Having said that, there are those who have genuinely been in a loving relationship at that age, and are mature enough to make their own informed decisions. 

Then there are those above the age of consent who just run around doing it with anyone because they can. 

I think once you feel really to make a really good informed decision and are comfortable and trusting of who you are with, then I think thats a good start 

omg I sound so old


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## sn0wxyuki

Certainly. In my country sex education is never provided in school cause is forbidden and against certain religion ( I live in a multiracial country) and so there's so many case on abandon newborn! Teens pregnant at age 13 and so. Also because of this I don't what teacher will teach if there is sex education class lol.

Most of us learn and educate about this from comic? friend's sharing? or porn? lol it is surprising that some of my friends feel shock when we discuss this among our gang.


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## Fearthecuteness

staticistic1114 said:


> well.. when is a first time appropriate? .n.



This is a tough one I'd say because there is no specific answer to that. When you feel like you're ready is an important one because of course if you don't feel ready you may regret it. There's no specific age for that because sometimes people in their 20s aren't ready just yet. Some people are never ready and will never have sex because it just doesn't interest them. Another important thing about your first time is staying safe. It's important to know how to use protection properly and making sure that for a girl's first time it doesn't hurt and that you take it slow. A lot of people think it's meant to hurt for girls their first time but it's not. What would also help with girls is masterbating to:
A: Make sure she's loosened up to make it easier for her first time
B: Know what she likes and doesn't like
I wouldn't say this is something girls HAVE to do but I'd say it makes it easier for both parts in this. If you both know what you like you can discuss with each other and guide each other so it makes it more enjoyable and will help the girl produce more natural lubricant, shall we say? So it will always be better to be with someone who will be understanding and take it slow with you.
Think I've covered everything about that question. xD


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## Flop

I've been hoping for  thread like this, but I fear that immature people will ruin it for all the wrong reasons. Hopefully this thread can actually remain beneficial to others. 

- - - Post Merge - - -



staticistic1114 said:


> well.. when is a first time appropriate? .n.



In my opinion, if you are unable to accept the potential consequences of sex, you are not ready yet.


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## Fearthecuteness

Flop said:


> I've been hoping for  thread like this, but I fear that immature people will ruin it for all the wrong reasons. Hopefully this thread can actually remain beneficial to others.



Well I've added rules so if people don't stick to these rules there will be big trouble. lol


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## Poppyann

Flop said:


> In my opinion, if you are unable to accept the potential consequences of sex, you are not ready yet.



This ^^^^^^^^^^^ it sums up what I was thinking nicely


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## Ashtot

What do people mean by the "birds and the bees"?


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## Flop

Another rule I would recommend is to keep the "LGBTQIA- Discussion and Support" stuff out of this. This is for the factual information of sex, not about the controversy of sexuality and gender. The only thing I think it would be appropriate would be if you are talking about precautions taken with different forms of sexual intercourse.


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## Bearica

staticistic1114 said:


> well.. when is a first time appropriate? .n.



I think this varies from person to person. In my opinion, if you're not mature enough to handle it and don't (or can't, depending on the age and other factors) use adequate forms of protection then it doesn't matter how old you are. I'm not going to say any definite ages because not everyone is the same in regards to maturity and whatnot.


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## Fearthecuteness

Flop said:


> Another rule I would recommend is to keep the "LGBTQIA- Discussion and Support" stuff out of this. This is for the factual information of sex, not about the controversy of sexuality and gender. The only thing I think it would be appropriate would be if you are talking about precautions taken with different forms of sexual intercourse.



See this is a tough one because yes we do have that forum but I don't think anyone really feels like it's approriate to discuss about sex there. It's seems to be more about general things for that topic. Also some things about gay sex can also benefit for straight sex too. 
Hmm. . . :/

- - - Post Merge - - -



Ashtot said:


> What do people mean by the "birds and the bees"?



I think that's litterally just about the simples terms of sex and how babies are made.


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## Jubaboo

Well, I think that there are not very many kids younger than 13 on here and that will probably not be too much of a problem.


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## MisterEnigma

I don't know, on one hand, this thread can easily be used to spread misinformation as well. Maybe posting some links to educational sites might be appropriate, so that younger people can learn through actual facts as well as having emotional support? Agreed with Flop with regards to making a decision like this though, do so through informed decision and be able to accept any consequences. Overall, just act responsibly and let your mind ultimately decide, not just your heart.


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## Kildor

Jubaboo said:


> Well, I think that there are not very many kids younger than 13 on here and that will probably not be too much of a problem.



You're quite wrong there.

Question : Is using a condom during sexual intercourse wrong? Or is it a good thing?


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## Hyoshido

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if anyone were to spurt "ye so you put the donger in the puss" anytime soon.

I dunno, Sex Ed. threads never last long, even if it's trying to remain as Mature as possible.


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## Fearthecuteness

Fawful said:


> I don't know, on one hand, this thread can easily be used to spread misinformation as well. Maybe posting some links to educational sites might be appropriate, so that younger people can learn through actual facts as well as having emotional support? Agreed with Flop with regards to making a decision like this though, do so through informed decision and be able to accept any consequences. Overall, just act responsibly and let your mind ultimately decide, not just your heart.



That's a good idea.  If anyone finds any links to any sites that are useful that could email them to me and I can post the links in the description box.


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## Bearica

>Here< is a pretty useful site if anyone wants to take a look at it!


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## reyy

I wonder if the mods shall close this thread?
I don't have any questions [lol why would i? i'm like 10] but I'm just thinking if the mods will


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## Fearthecuteness

kildor22 said:


> You're quite wrong there.
> 
> Question : Is using a condom during sexual intercourse wrong? Or is it a good thing?



Most of the time yes. Even if the girl is taking some other contraception it's always best to stay clear from STDs and STIs. The only time I'd say don't worry about using a condom is if you know both you and your partner is clean.


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## Flop

Fearthecuteness said:


> See this is a tough one because yes we do have that forum but I don't think anyone really feels like it's approriate to discuss about sex there. It's seems to be more about general things for that topic. Also some things about gay sex can also benefit for straight sex too.
> Hmm. . . :/
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I think that's litterally just about the simples terms of sex and how babies are made.



Believe me, I'm all for the support of that topic, but a lot of controversy and arguments arise in the LGBTQIA thread. That's why I made a group for it that I can moderate to prevent arguments


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## Bearica

kildor22 said:


> You're quite wrong there.
> 
> Question : Is using a condom during sexual intercourse wrong? Or is it a good thing?



*Always* use a condom! Especially if you or your partner isn't using any other kinds of birth control (like the pill) and even if you think both you and your partner are clean. You never know, and every kind of birth control method can fail. It's always always always better to use a condom and be safe than not.


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## Fearthecuteness

Flop said:


> Believe me, I'm all for the support of that topic, but a lot of controversy and arguments arise in the LGBTQIA thread. That's why I made a group for it that I can moderate to prevent arguments



Oh really? Thanks or the warning. Yeah I should put some rule up soon.


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## fleaofdeath

kildor22 said:


> You're quite wrong there.
> 
> Question : Is using a condom during sexual intercourse wrong? Or is it a good thing?



I personally think it's a good thing. If anyone tells you that it's wrong...well, it's just not. There's nothing shameful about it, either, if that's also what you're wondering. It also keeps you mostly safe from STD's and pregnancy. So no, nothing wrong or bad about it =)


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## Kildor

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/topics-issues/condom/841-condoms
Thank you for the answers. I thought this was a good website that talks about the benefits of condoms pretty well.


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## Fearthecuteness

kildor22 said:


> http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/topics-issues/condom/841-condoms
> Thank you for the answers. I thought this was a good website that talks about the benefits of condoms pretty well.



Thank you for the link. I'll put it in the description.


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## Alice

Hyogo said:


> I honestly wouldn't be surprised if anyone were to spurt "ye so you put the donger in the puss" anytime soon.
> 
> I dunno, Sex Ed. threads never last long, even if it's trying to remain as Mature as possible.



I concur. On the flip-side, I didn't come to an animal crossing forum to receive youth support; thus it's hard for me to really take these threads seriously. But I guess some people find these threads useful? Maybe I'm just too old. Oh well, c'est la vie.


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## Hyoshido

This type of stuff is appreciated but I honestly believe this thread will end up being closed eventually, So I've issued a report to do so and here's why.

*1.* Obviously can turn into a pile of Immature mess, Sure those members will get warnings/bans for being a pile of morons but this type of thread will end up calling these people eitherway.

*2.* The difference between Young members and Old members are quite big, There is quite a few people who are even younger than 13, I would assume it'd be more clean if they were taught stuff like this in Sexual Education classes in School.

*3.* Educational it might be, but it's not exactly clean content, I'm sure the forums don't allow it (Maybe to an extent idk) and might come off as awkward to some members.

I'm not calling this thread out because I disliked Sex education back in my day, I honestly disliked being taught about Penises and it was kind of disturbing knowing the specifics of the Female genitals when I was like 11, This stuff is incredibly respected to bring people into the world of sexual intercourse and how to avoid diseases and accidental pregnancy and all.

I just don't think this is the right place to discuss it, All in my own opinion, I could be the biggest idiot around for all I know to you.


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## Nkosazana

this is weird.
sex is weird.
humans are weird.


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## Jake

kildor22 said:


> You're quite wrong there.
> 
> Question : Is using a condom during sexual intercourse wrong? Or is it a good thing?



ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM

i have had too many STD scares in my life, trust me on this one


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## iLoveYou

KarlaKGB asks: How long is a guy typically supposed to last during sexual intercourse?



Gandalf said:


> 30 minutes of dedication per day, same as a standard mafia game.



LOL. I love this reply. He's starting to talk about the reds now. It's really got him going


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## Gandalf

iLoveYou said:


> KarlaKGB asks: How long is a guy typically supposed to last during sexual intercourse?



30 minutes of dedication per day, same as a standard mafia game.


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## Princess Weeb

Flop said:


> Another rule I would recommend is to keep the "LGBTQIA- Discussion and Support" stuff out of this. This is for the factual information of sex, not about the controversy of sexuality and gender. The only thing I think it would be appropriate would be if you are talking about precautions taken with different forms of sexual intercourse.



I think it kinda should be though.
Because this is taught even less in schools, imagine how confused you would be as a well non straight or non cisgendered teenager? Similarly, people get really really confused about how other people (of other sexualities/genders if any) have sex, because the topic is pretty much ignored.


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## Fearthecuteness

Hyogo said:


> This type of stuff is appreciated but I honestly believe this thread will end up being closed eventually, So I've issued a report to do so and here's why.
> 
> *1.* Obviously can turn into a pile of Immature mess, Sure those members will get warnings/bans for being a pile of morons but this type of thread will end up calling these people eitherway.
> 
> *2.* The difference between Young members and Old members are quite big, There is quite a few people who are even younger than 13, I would assume it'd be more clean if they were taught stuff like this in Sexual Education classes in School.
> 
> *3.* Educational it might be, but it's not exactly clean content, I'm sure the forums don't allow it (Maybe to an extent idk) and might come off as awkward to some members.
> 
> I'm not calling this thread out because I disliked Sex education back in my day, I honestly disliked being taught about Penises and it was kind of disturbing knowing the specifics of the Female genitals when I was like 11, This stuff is incredibly respected to bring people into the world of sexual intercourse and how to avoid diseases and accidental pregnancy and all.
> 
> I just don't think this is the right place to discuss it, All in my own opinion, I could be the biggest idiot around for all I know to you.



1. You don't know how bad it is really going to get. So far people are taking this seriously and being very respectful so we might only get a few immature ones for all you know.

2.Yes that may be true but for all you know their mental age might be better then some 16 year olds and can handle this kind of stuff. Plus a lot of kids have read or seen things far worse than what will be said in this forum.

3. I assure you that everyone has kept it clean here and answer the questions as best as they can.

4.Well it's important to know about your body and how you develop so you can understand things more. Also it makes sex a lot easier and more enjoyable when you know about how parts of the human body works.


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## Princess Weeb

https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
This girl's channel might be helpful for some of you. She's very blunt but :")


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## Alice

I will say this, however. The title is completely inappropriate, I'd change it if you have any hopes of this thread surviving the night.


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## Jake

Fearthecuteness said:


> 4.Well it's important to know about your body and how you develop so you can understand things more. Also it makes sex a lot easier and more enjoyable when you know about how parts of the human body works.



Yes, lets not stick a penis in someones ear for sexual enjoyment that is not a very good idea


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## Fearthecuteness

iLoveYou said:


> KarlaKGB asks: How long is a guy typically supposed to last during sexual intercourse?



There isn't a certain time. The adverage time is different depending on what country you're from (weird I know) and it also depends on other things like the guy you're with, how much time you've spent during foreplay, if he maybe feels pressured or there's something on his mind. Everyone is different and it's always different with each situation.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Jake. said:


> Yes, lets not stick a penis in someones ear for sexual enjoyment that is not a very good idea



Yes exactly. xD


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## fleaofdeath

iLoveYou said:


> KarlaKGB asks: How long is a guy typically supposed to last during sexual intercourse?



There's really no standard for it, I don't think. It varies from person to person. A guy could go for a while in one situation, but take less than five minutes in a different situation. If you truly want a standard, though, maybe at least 5-10 minutes. Again, though, I don't think there really is a standard.


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## iamnothyper

Gandalf said:


> 30 minutes of dedication per day, same as a standard mafia game.



I feel like this is being generous .___.
but in the end it really depends on the guy and his ability to... er... pace himself

ALSO: i read some time ago that pre-*** does not contain sperm and therefore cannot result in pregnancy. Thoughts on this?


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## Ashtot

fleaofdeath said:


> There's really no standard for it, I don't think. It varies from person to person. A guy could go for a while in one situation, but take less than five minutes in a different situation. If you truly want a standard, though, maybe at least 5-10 minutes. Again, though, I don't think there really is a standard.



Are you sure I don't know how anybody could be that patient.


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## Jake

iamnothyper said:


> ALSO: i read some time ago that pre-*** does not contain sperm and therefore cannot result in pregnancy. Thoughts on this?



no that is bull****


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## Fearthecuteness

iamnothyper said:


> I feel like this is being generous .___.
> but in the end it really depends on the guy and his ability to... er... pace himself
> 
> ALSO: i read some time ago that pre-*** does not contain sperm and therefore cannot result in pregnancy. Thoughts on this?



That is complete BS. Which is why it's never a good idea to use the "pulling out" meathod because women have gotten pregnant from that.


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## Byngo

The name of the thread + the fact this is on a forum for animal crossing, a game aimed towards children = the inevitability that immature people will come to derail the thread. Having said that, I don't feel the need to take part in the discussion of sex. Doesn't interest me at all~ c:


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## fleaofdeath

iamnothyper said:


> I feel like this is being generous .___.
> but in the end it really depends on the guy and his ability to... er... pace himself
> 
> ALSO: i read some time ago that pre-*** does not contain sperm and therefore cannot result in pregnancy. Thoughts on this?



I'm pretty sure it does contain sperm, which is why a condom is so important. That's also why you should be very careful with your hands during foreplay if you don't have condoms. (Then again, I'm no scientist, so take that for what you will)


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## Ashtot

Lunatic said:


> The name of the thread + the fact this is on a forum for animal crossing, a game aimed towards children = the inevitability that immature people will come to derail the thread. Having said that, I don't feel the need to take part in the discussion of sex. Doesn't interest me at all~ c:



Then why the heck would you say any of that in the first place or bother to repeat what six others already said?


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## Hyoshido

Because her opinion is the same as those six, Doesn't mean she can't speak out, dude.


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## Fearthecuteness

Melleia said:


> https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
> This girl's channel might be helpful for some of you. She's very blunt but :")



How blunt would you say? Should I put an age restriction next to this link?


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## Ashtot

Hyogo said:


> Because her opinion is the same as those six, Doesn't mean she can't speak out, dude.



It's just cluttering up the thread, this isn't a thread to discuss how appropriate this thread is.


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## Princess Weeb

iamnothyper said:


> ALSO: i read some time ago that pre-*** does not contain sperm and therefore cannot result in pregnancy. Thoughts on this?



I actually know the answer to this wao
Yes and no, essentially. 
It doesn't itself contain any sperm, I'm pretty sure it like picks up (sorry I am kinda awkward lol) any ones that were well.. left behind from before on the way, if that makes sense. 
Apparently if a guy goes to the toilet before hand, all of that is gotten rid of, and so the precum has no sperm in it.

Even so, not using protection because of that is a stupid idea :")


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## fleaofdeath

Ashtot said:


> Are you sure I don't know how anybody could be that patient.



Haha I'm quite sure =P


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## Farobi

Lunatic said:


> The name of the thread + the fact this is on a forum for animal crossing, a game aimed towards children = the inevitability that immature people will come to derail the thread. Having said that, I don't feel the need to take part in the discussion of sex. Doesn't interest me at all~ c:





Hyogo said:


> Because her opinion is the same as those six, Doesn't mean she can't speak out, dude.


I agree ^^ I think the title could be more appropriate, but eh, I'll still lurk around here.


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## Alice

I was talking to my friend Reggie, but he couldn't give me an answer.

How do I know when my body is ready?


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## Princess Weeb

Fearthecuteness said:


> How blunt would you say? Should I put an age restriction next to this link?



Well she's a sex ed teacher, it is fairly blunt and there is a bit of swearing so I would do, yeah.
Interesting, though.


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## Byngo

Ashtot said:


> Then why the heck would you say any of that in the first place or bother to repeat what six others already said?



Because this is a forum, and if you don't know the definition of forum, here it is: a place, meeting, or medium *where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.*


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## Fearthecuteness

Ashtot said:


> It's just cluttering up the thread, this isn't a thread to discuss how appropriate this thread is.



Thank you Ashtot. You are right.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Sway said:


> I was talking to my friend Reggie, but he couldn't give me an answer.
> 
> How do I know when my body is ready?



I thought you didn't join this forum for youth support.


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## iamnothyper

yea, i figured it was something like that with the pre-***. like i said, it prevents pregnancy not STDS. 

also, a resource for the girls on here
http://www.vaginapagina.com/

I got the sperm information from this site so I think it's pretty reliable. They linked to a study and everything. And well, I know people that have either been hella lucky or have proven the pre-*** theory to be true.


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## Alice

Fearthecuteness said:


> Thank you Ashtot. You are right.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I thought you didn't join this forum for youth support.



Who did?


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## Fearthecuteness

Melleia said:


> Well she's a sex ed teacher, it is fairly blunt and there is a bit of swearing so I would do, yeah.
> Interesting, though.



Ok thank you. I'll put up that it is graphic and has swearing?

- - - Post Merge - - -



Sway said:


> Who did?



You said that.


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## Cariad

I got sex ed at 9...


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## Princess Weeb

Fearthecuteness said:


> Ok thank you. I'll put up that it is graphic and has swearing?


I would, just to be sure.
To be honest it's not like the younger ones on here haven't heard half of it but.. :")


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## Alice

Fearthecuteness said:


> Ok thank you. I'll put up that it is graphic and has swearing?
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> You said that.



No, I mean. I doubt anyone joined this forum for youth support.

So let me rephrase my question: What's your point?


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## Princess Weeb

MissNoodle said:


> I got sex ed at 9...



We had it at about that age, but it was only really a puberty talk. (Girls and boys were separated)
The year after we got a bit of a talk, but the rest is down to the internet. It is disgraceful really. The way people complain about the high teen pregnancy rates but they can't even be bothered to teach us properly - how else are kids supposed to know?


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## Cariad

I know. 9 was puberty, 11 was real sex, 12 was science behind sex. Our teacher for those sessions was the same, and she told us to text her if we had any questions. Which was good. I know a school near me allows phones, as the have a number for the nurse, who can take people oit of class for hygiene reasons.


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## fleaofdeath

Melleia said:


> We had it at about that age, but it was only really a puberty talk. (Girls and boys were separated)
> The year after we got a bit of a talk, but the rest is down to the internet. It is disgraceful really. The way people complain about the high teen pregnancy rates but they can't even be bothered to teach us properly - how else are kids supposed to know?



But really though. My sex ed teacher made us shout "SEX MAKES BABIES" in seventh grade. How does that teach us anything? I learned from the internet. Ugh -___- that's why I'm invested in this thread, though c:


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## Fearthecuteness

iamnothyper said:


> yea, i figured it was something like that with the pre-***. like i said, it prevents pregnancy not STDS.
> 
> also, a resource for the girls on here
> http://www.vaginapagina.com/
> 
> I got the sperm information from this site so I think it's pretty reliable. They linked to a study and everything. And well, I know people that have either been hella lucky or have proven the pre-*** theory to be true.



I added the link.


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## amemome

People seem to be stressing condom usage, but how about birth control?    Should you visit a doctor to get birth control prescribed, or is it OK to get over-the-counter?  Also, for sexually active minors (16-18) whose families have stigmatized sex, way for them to access birth control?  It's to my understanding that planned parenthood provides condoms but I wasn't sure about birth control.


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## Hyoshido

fleaofdeath said:


> But really though. My sex ed teacher made us shout "SEX MAKES BABIES" in seventh grade. How does that teach us anything? I learned from the internet. Ugh -___- that's why I'm invested in this thread, though c:


You learnt it on the Internet? I actually feel bad for you, Learning many things by the Internet can be dangerous.


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## iamnothyper

Curious. Did anyone have rape talks or was it just my school? They separated boys and girls and had separate lessons that day. I actually think they should do more of that given the rape-culture today.


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## PinkSensei

What does it mean to get a guy off


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## iamnothyper

amemome said:


> People seem to be stressing condom usage, but how about birth control?    Should you visit a doctor to get birth control prescribed, or is it OK to get over-the-counter?  Also, for sexually active minors (16-18) whose families have stigmatized sex, way for them to access birth control?  It's to my understanding that planned parenthood provides condoms but I wasn't sure about birth control.



I'm very wary about birth control because of how it messes w/ the hormones. I heard coming off it is a total pain and it takes a while to re-adjust. Furthermore, the side effects D;

I think planned parenthood provides birth control as well.


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## Bearica

amemome said:


> People seem to be stressing condom usage, but how about birth control?    Should you visit a doctor to get birth control prescribed, or is it OK to get over-the-counter?  Also, for sexually active minors (16-18) whose families have stigmatized sex, way for them to access birth control?  It's to my understanding that planned parenthood provides condoms but I wasn't sure about birth control.



You can in fact get birth control from planned parenthood but it requires an appointment and you have to pay for them.
Birth control pills aren't only useful for preventing kids! It can also help your cycle stay regular and if you have a heavy cycle, it helps to lighten them and make them more bearable. I'd suggest talking to your parents about it and visiting a doctor.


----------



## Flop

amemome said:


> People seem to be stressing condom usage, but how about birth control?    Should you visit a doctor to get birth control prescribed, or is it OK to get over-the-counter?  Also, for sexually active minors (16-18) whose families have stigmatized sex, way for them to access birth control?  It's to my understanding that planned parenthood provides condoms but I wasn't sure about birth control.



Well you have to have a prescription for birth control, and you have to be 18 to buy a morning-after pill, but condoms can be bought regardless of age. I think one may be able to go to a health clinic for a condom or pill, no questions asked.


----------



## Hyoshido

PinkSensei said:


> What does it mean to get a guy off


Personally I believe it means getting him "excited"


----------



## fleaofdeath

amemome said:


> People seem to be stressing condom usage, but how about birth control?    Should you visit a doctor to get birth control prescribed, or is it OK to get over-the-counter?  Also, for sexually active minors (16-18) whose families have stigmatized sex, way for them to access birth control?  It's to my understanding that planned parenthood provides condoms but I wasn't sure about birth control.



I went to my doctor to get a prescription for it. I can't imagine taking OTC pills. What if those don't work with your body? Trust your doctor c: and I'm not sure what to do if your family doesn't want you on birth control. If you could afford it, you could buy your own prescription every month in secret, but I'm really not sure =/


----------



## Flop

PinkSensei said:


> What does it mean to get a guy off



It means that he orgasms.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

amemome said:


> People seem to be stressing condom usage, but how about birth control?    Should you visit a doctor to get birth control prescribed, or is it OK to get over-the-counter?  Also, for sexually active minors (16-18) whose families have stigmatized sex, way for them to access birth control?  It's to my understanding that planned parenthood provides condoms but I wasn't sure about birth control.



For the question about how to get birth control, I don't know what it's like in other countries but I know in the uk the only over the counter birth controls you can get are condoms and the morning after pill. Even if you can get other stuff over the counter I'd suggest going to discuss about this with your doctor about what contraception is best for you. That way you may end up finding out the one you thought would be best for you isn't and there's an alternative that will be better.


----------



## Cariad

In yr 6 our teacher saw us laugh when she said vagaina, so she said " let's say the next word together, 3.. 2.. 1 .. PENIS" and we all shouted it. Some of the 7 year olds heard...


----------



## Fearthecuteness

iamnothyper said:


> Curious. Did anyone have rape talks or was it just my school? They separated boys and girls and had separate lessons that day. I actually think they should do more of that given the rape-culture today.



I don't actually recall having those talks in school. And yes they should be taught more about rape.


----------



## aetherene

PinkSensei said:


> What does it mean to get a guy off



To get him to have an orgasm.

When I was growing up, my parents never had the talk with me about the birds and the bees. It's funny because I just learned about sex on my own, mostly through the media. Then there was high school, and I went to a Catholic school so they taught us about abstinence instead of abstinence and safe sex.

But if anyone wants some advice regarding sex or find it might be stepping out of boundaries to ask on here, I recommend asking on realtalksexadvice.tumblr.com. The ladies who run the blog are very knowledgeable and blunt when it comes to answering questions. They talk about safe sex to consent to sex positions to how to better improve sex acts and all that. I love it. Just make sure to check out their FAQ before asking them a question.


----------



## Cariad

We had a rape session and we did a rape rap!


----------



## Alice

That is all.​


----------



## Fearthecuteness

aetherene said:


> To get him to have an orgasm.
> 
> When I was growing up, my parents never had the talk with me about the birds and the bees. It's funny because I just learned about sex on my own, mostly through the media. Then there was high school, and I went to a Catholic school so they taught us about abstinence instead of abstinence and safe sex.
> 
> But if anyone wants some advice regarding sex or find it might be stepping out of boundaries to ask on here, I recommend asking on realtalksexadvice.tumblr.com. The ladies who run the blog are very knowledgeable and blunt when it comes to answering questions. They talk about safe sex to consent to sex positions to how to better improve sex acts and all that. I love it. Just make sure to check out their FAQ before asking them a question.



Thanks for the link. I shall put down that this one is graphic too. I'm going to have to look at that.


----------



## Darumy

HELLO I AM HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE HYMEN I mean usually curiosity teaches kids most of what they know about sex but this is something that just doesn't come up as much


With the most important being: your first (if you are female) time does not have to hurt. 

The hymen is a thin membrane that most girls are born with; it wears down over time due to everyday activities like biking or even just walking, and breaks during penetration. It's sort of a traditional way of constituting the idea of virginity, but that's a little old fashioned because:

1.) doesn't have to be a penis to break it
2.) some girls will feel the breakage less or more than others. Bleeding should vary as well but in no way should it hit period levels. They used to kill girls back in the day if they didn't bleed the first wedded time, hah
3.) make sure you are like niagra falls before something enters you. This means foreplay, a lot of it. If you're a male reading this, that's your job in the situation man.
4.) if you don't feel ready, even if it's like right at the moment, do not feel pressured to keep going. Ask your partner to stop. If they value their own pleasure above your pain they're not worth having sex with fyi
5.) if you're afraid of it hurting too much or suspect it will hurt more for you, ask your doctor. They can give you things to insert over time that gradually make it easier.
6.) relax. If your muscles are tense, it'll probably hurt.
7.) figure out how you can be most comfortably entered beforehand.
8.) this I'm unsure about, but I believe the hymen can regenerate? In any case, your vagina moves back to how it was like teeth. So I say have sex when you're prepared to be sexually active for a while.



Most of TBT is preteen to teen right? So lastly I just wanted to say don't feel pressured to have sex, ever.  Don't be afraid to discuss it though. Sex is more funny than anything imo, don't put yourself in a situation where it becomes a negative thing for you.


----------



## Hyoshido

MissNoodle said:


> We had a rape session and we did a rape rap!


What is wrong with your school


----------



## Poppyann

Sway said:


> That is all.​



Nicely spotted haha


----------



## aetherene

My friends learned an anti-rape cheerleading sort of chant. They did it a lot a few years ago.

STOP!
Don't touch me there! This here's my special square!
R-A-P-E!
Get that thing away from me!


----------



## iamnothyper

Darumy said:


> HELLO I AM HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE HYMEN I mean usually curiosity teaches kids most of what they know about sex but this is something that just doesn't come up as much
> 
> 
> With the most important being: your first (if you are female) time does not have to hurt.
> 
> The hymen is a thin membrane that most girls are born with; it wears down over time due to everyday activities like biking or even just walking, and breaks during penetration. It's sort of a traditional way of constituting the idea of virginity, but that's a little old fashioned because:
> 
> 1.) doesn't have to be a penis to break it
> 2.) some girls will feel the breakage less or more than others. Bleeding should vary as well but in no way should it hit period levels. They used to kill girls back in the day if they didn't bleed the first wedded time, hah
> 3.) make sure you are like niagra falls before something enters you. This means foreplay, a lot of it. If you're a male reading this, that's your job in the situation man.
> 4.) if you don't feel ready, even if it's like right at the moment, do not feel pressured to keep going. Ask your partner to stop. If they value their own pleasure above your pain they're not worth having sex with fyi
> 5.) if you're afraid of it hurting too much or suspect it will hurt more for you, ask your doctor. They can give you things to insert over time that gradually make it easier.
> 6.) relax. If your muscles are tense, it'll probably hurt.
> 7.) figure out how you can be most comfortably entered beforehand.
> 8.) this I'm unsure about, but I believe the hymen can regenerate? In any case, your vagina moves back to how it was like teeth. So I say have sex when you're prepared to be sexually active for a while.
> 
> 
> 
> Most of TBT is preteen to teen right? So lastly I just wanted to say don't feel pressured to have sex, ever.  Don't be afraid to discuss it though. Sex is more funny than anything imo, don't put yourself in a situation where it becomes a negative thing for you.



i was watching laci before and she said something about how the hymen doesnt actually break but just stretches?
either way i was very confused cause I was always taught that it breaks.


----------



## Poppyann

Hyogo said:


> What is wrong with your school



Whilst something like a "rape rap" might seem slightly ridiculous and making light of a terrible situation, I think the participants will probably remember this rap for probably quite a long time, meaning the message sticks in their head better than just talking about it.

of course it should be a given that everyone remembers that rape is bad and we shouldn't need a rap to reinforce this, but still.


----------



## aetherene

Fearthecuteness said:


> Thanks for the link. I shall put down that this one is graphic too. I'm going to have to look at that.



I'd say it's graphic because of the language they use. It is colorful, but I feel like it gets the point across. 

They talk about all sex acts like between you and your significant other, or solo, and what sort of things to you can use to better improve your sex life. They also give advice if you need any regarding sex and relationships and also about your bodies.

I've learned a lot from that link.


----------



## Ashtot

Is abortion good or bad?


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Darumy said:


> HELLO I AM HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE HYMEN I mean usually curiosity teaches kids most of what they know about sex but this is something that just doesn't come up as much
> 
> 
> With the most important being: your first (if you are female) time does not have to hurt.
> 
> The hymen is a thin membrane that most girls are born with; it wears down over time due to everyday activities like biking or even just walking, and breaks during penetration. It's sort of a traditional way of constituting the idea of virginity, but that's a little old fashioned because:
> 
> 1.) doesn't have to be a penis to break it
> 2.) some girls will feel the breakage less or more than others. Bleeding should vary as well but in no way should it hit period levels. They used to kill girls back in the day if they didn't bleed the first wedded time, hah
> 3.) make sure you are like niagra falls before something enters you. This means foreplay, a lot of it. If you're a male reading this, that's your job in the situation man.
> 4.) if you don't feel ready, even if it's like right at the moment, do not feel pressured to keep going. Ask your partner to stop. If they value their own pleasure above your pain they're not worth having sex with fyi
> 5.) if you're afraid of it hurting too much or suspect it will hurt more for you, ask your doctor. They can give you things to insert over time that gradually make it easier.
> 6.) relax. If your muscles are tense, it'll probably hurt.
> 7.) figure out how you can be most comfortably entered beforehand.
> 8.) this I'm unsure about, but I believe the hymen can regenerate? In any case, your vagina moves back to how it was like teeth. So I say have sex when you're prepared to be sexually active for a while.
> 
> 
> 
> Most of TBT is preteen to teen right? So lastly I just wanted to say don't feel pressured to have sex, ever.  Don't be afraid to discuss it though. Sex is more funny than anything imo, don't put yourself in a situation where it becomes a negative thing for you.



I was hoping someone would mention about the hymen on here because that is a very important thing to learn about for your first time. Might I add though the hymen doesn't break it just stretches. And some girls hymens are completely different to others.


----------



## unravel

Would it be funny that people will search about "porn" in google they click the link and they thought TBT is a porn website. xD


----------



## Cariad

Poppyann said:


> Whilst something like a "rape rap" might seem slightly ridiculous and making light of a terrible situation, I think the participants will probably remember this rap for probably quite a long time, meaning the message sticks in their head better than just talking about it.
> 
> of course it should be a given that everyone remembers that rape is bad and we shouldn't need a rap to reinforce this, but still.



I still remember it. It was kinda
R A P E
Don't try and do anything to me


----------



## iamnothyper

Ashtot said:


> Is abortion good or bad?



ehhh


----------



## Princess Weeb

iamnothyper said:


> Curious. Did anyone have rape talks or was it just my school? They separated boys and girls and had separate lessons that day. I actually think they should do more of that given the rape-culture today.


Nope, infact we've never been spoken to about consent...
If they did, I guarantee it would totally ignore the fact that men get raped an it'd make women look like the most delicate innocent flowers who get raped by men who are all sex crazed and who can't control themselves

(Because my school is owned by idiotic *"feminists"*)


----------



## Darumy

Ooh alright. I've heard a lot of things about the hymen so I was unsure if it breaks or stretches. It probably stretches because it's made to allow fluids to pass and I don't think it could essentially regenerate if it was broken woops. Thanks for the correction!


----------



## Titi

I think this thread is a good idea for the youngins!


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Ashtot said:


> Is abortion good or bad?



I would say depends on the situation. I mean if you're going to keep a baby it's important to know things like:
-If you have enough money to afford a baby
-Are you really maternal enough
-What do you choose, a career or a baby? because unless you're extremly lucky you're not going to have a career after a baby is born
-Are you really ready to settle down yet

Once you've had a long thought about it and you don't feel like you're ready for a baby than yes go for it.


----------



## aetherene

ITookYourWaffles said:


> Would it be funny that people will search about "porn" in google they click the link and they thought TBT is a porn website. xD



Speaking of porn, I think it's important for everyone to learn that porn is not real life.

Porn is tons of editing and not done in just one sitting. Positions may look great, but in real life, they really don't feel good, are tiring, and won't get you off like it gets porn stars off.

I've tried to do some of the things I've seen in porn, and it's not worth it at all. Find your own groove you're comfortable with and do that than trying to mimic something that is meant for entertainment.


----------



## Ashtot

But what if I kill my baby?


----------



## Gandalf

My school had something like that as well:

R-A-P-E
Only touch me consensually.
S-E-X-E
I wasn't acting sexily.
P-R-I-S-O-N
I hope your cellmates mexican!


----------



## iamnothyper

Melleia said:


> Nope, infact we've never been spoken to about consent...
> If they did, I guarantee it would totally ignore the fact that men get raped an it'd make women look like the most delicate innocent flowers who get raped by men who are all sex crazed and who can't control themselves
> 
> (Because my school is owned by idiotic *"feminists"*)



actually, rape-culture today is more about victim-blaming than anything. the way the media portrays rape victims today is a lot different from what you just mentioned. especially with some of the sorta-recent cases that have been in the news. its always that the girl was too drunk or dressing too sluttly so she deserved the rape and the guy was just an opportunist. the victims received a huge amount of backlash from the community while have to deal with PTSD. 

but yes, men are victims as well and i feel that the shame aspect is actually more traumatic for them.

and just to put it out there. the pure definition of a feminist is someone who wants _equality_, not more not less. the type of people you are mentioning are extremists and exist on both sides of the spectrum so i don't think its good to generalize like that.


----------



## Prof Gallows

Sway said:


> That is all.​









Anyway guys, make sure that you all keep this thread civil and *on the point.*

If it gets derailed over anything controversial or if fights start breaking out it'll be closed. Really try and prove that you can handle a serious thread like this.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Ashtot said:


> But what if I kill my baby?


Then it's murder and you go to prison? :")


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Darumy said:


> Ooh alright. I've heard a lot of things about the hymen so I was unsure if it breaks or stretches. It probably stretches because it's made to allow fluids to pass and I don't think it could essentially regenerate if it was broken woops. Thanks for the correction!



You're welcome. So many people say it breaks and I've heard that all my life until the other day and I'm 23. haha

- - - Post Merge - - -



aetherene said:


> Speaking of porn, I think it's important for everyone to learn that porn is not real life.
> 
> Porn is tons of editing and not done in just one sitting. Positions may look great, but in real life, they really don't feel good, are tiring, and won't get you off like it gets porn stars off.
> 
> I've tried to do some of the things I've seen in porn, and it's not worth it at all. Find your own groove you're comfortable with and do that than trying to mimic something that is meant for entertainment.



You're right. Nothing good comes from learning from porn.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Prof Gallows said:


> Anyway guys, make sure that you all keep this thread civil and *on the point.*
> 
> If it gets derailed over anything controversial or if fights start breaking out it'll be closed. Really try and prove that you can handle a serious thread like this.



I really hope something like that doesn't happen. I made this thread because I sencerally want people to learn the true facts and experiences from other people.


----------



## Princess Weeb

iamnothyper said:


> actually, rape-culture today is more about victim-blaming than anything. the way the media portrays rape victims today is a lot different from what you just mentioned. especially with some of the sorta-recent cases that have been in the news. its always that the girl was too drunk or dressing too sluttly so she deserved the rape and the guy was just an opportunist. the victims received a huge amount of backlash from the community while have to deal with PTSD.



We've had talks about eating disorders/mental health disorders and self harm where men are just totally ignored. (I meant from an adult perspective btw)

Yeah, you get teenagers thinking guys are "lads" for having non-consenting or drunk sex with someone but the second a girl does it, she's a right slag and she should be burnt at the stake, ffs.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Titi said:


> I think this thread is a good idea for the youngins!



At least someone thinks so.


----------



## Ashtot

Melleia said:


> Then it's murder and you go to prison? :")



No but I mean isn't abortion when you kill your baby?!?


----------



## Princess Weeb

iamnothyper said:


> and just to put it out there. the pure definition of a feminist is someone who wants _equality_, not more not less. the type of people you are mentioning are extremists and exist on both sides of the spectrum so i don't think its good to generalize like that.




hence the bold text and inverted commas???


----------



## iamnothyper

Ashtot said:


> No but I mean isn't abortion when you kill your baby?!?



please don't turn this into an abortion topic.
there is a certain point int he fetus timeline when it is recognized that the baby is "alive" and therefore not allowed to be aborted. otherwise, its up to personal views.


----------



## Ashtot

iamnothyper said:


> please don't turn this into an abortion topic.
> there is a certain point int he fetus timeline when it is recognized that the baby is "alive" and therefore not allowed to be aborted. otherwise, its up to personal views.



You mean a baby is born not human???!!?!?


----------



## iamnothyper

Melleia said:


> hence the bold text and inverted commas???



that wasn't necessarily directed to you. there are a lot of people who think feminists are all cray cray. i was just saying..

- - - Post Merge - - -



Ashtot said:


> You mean a baby is born not human???!!?!?



yup, you give birth to a togepi. congratz


----------



## Princess Weeb

Ashtot said:


> No but I mean isn't abortion when you kill your baby?!?



When you abort a fetus.
A fetus and a baby are two different things. (kinda, not literally) If the child is born and would have been able to survive (even if it had to be rushed to hospital) and you killed it, it would be considered murder.
Miscarriages and abortions are fine, though. 
Abortions (usually) happen so early on in the pregnancy the fetus isn't developed enough to have many of the major organs/body parts or cannot feel/hear.. etc


----------



## Ashtot

iamnothyper said:


> that wasn't necessarily directed to you. there are a lot of people who think feminists are all cray cray. i was just saying..
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> yup, you give birth to a togepi. congratz



I think you are joking?


----------



## Princess Weeb

iamnothyper said:


> that wasn't necessarily directed to you. there are a lot of people who think feminists are all cray cray. i was just saying..



whoops sorry
Why is it even called feminism anymore. #genderequalisismforthewin


----------



## unravel

Ashtot said:


> Is abortion good or bad?



I'm against abortion, because it's murder and also not safe, you should thank their parents that you are here now if you are alive. Bah I'm too lazy here is the article about Abortion http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/10-reasons-not-to-have-an-abortion


----------



## LyraVale

*walks in whistling
ABORTION
FEMINISM
TOGEPI

*slowly backs out of the thread

jk, great thread ^.^


----------



## Prof Gallows

Prof Gallows said:


> Anyway guys, make sure that you all keep this thread civil and *on the point.*




Get off of the current topic you're on or the thread is getting closed. If you want to talk about abortions do it somewhere else. Preferably in private.


----------



## amemome

Fearthecuteness said:


> For the question about how to get birth control, I don't know what it's like in other countries but I know in the uk the only over the counter birth controls you can get are condoms and the morning after pill. Even if you can get other stuff over the counter I'd suggest going to discuss about this with your doctor about what contraception is best for you. That way you may end up finding out the one you thought would be best for you isn't and there's an alternative that will be better.



Thanks for all the answers, everyone!  I was curious, since I baselessly encouraged a friend of mine to use birth control with condoms...


----------



## cIementine

*This is something I didn't expect to see pop up c:

I had 'the talk' at the age of 9 after these girls in my class were talking about periods and girl parts at a school trip. My Mum supervised the trip, and when I went home, I asked her what they meant. So she ended up buying my these book called 'girl talk' because she felt bad having to say it to someone so young. I am 12 now, and would like to ask:

what is rape? :3 I feel a bit stupid not knowing what it properly is. *


----------



## fleaofdeath

amemome said:


> Thanks for all the answers, everyone!  I was curious, since I baselessly encouraged a friend of mine to use birth control with condoms...



Condoms plus birth control is a great idea, and I'm glad you encouraged your friend to do that. Condoms aren't 100% effective, and birth control definitely helps =)


----------



## Lauren

The title pinged me.


----------



## Zedark

MayorAvalon said:


> *This is something I didn't expect to see pop up c:
> 
> I had 'the talk' at the age of 9 after these girls in my class were talking about periods and girl parts at a school trip. My Mum supervised the trip, and when I went home, I asked her what they meant. So she ended up buying my these book called 'girl talk' because she felt bad having to say it to someone so young. I am 12 now, and would like to ask:
> 
> what is rape? :3 I feel a bit stupid not knowing what it properly is. *



Rape is unconsented sex or forced sex. If somebody said no and their partner continued then that would be rape


----------



## Jake

fleaofdeath said:


> Condoms plus birth control is a great idea, and I'm glad you encouraged your friend to do that. Condoms aren't 100% effective, and birth control definitely helps =)



dont use flavored condoms they taste like **** and are a waste of money srsly wtf chocolate tastes like peasant

only good ones are vanilla and KINDA banana


----------



## Princess Weeb

MayorAvalon said:


> *This is something I didn't expect to see pop up c:
> 
> I had 'the talk' at the age of 9 after these girls in my class were talking about periods and girl parts at a school trip. My Mum supervised the trip, and when I went home, I asked her what they meant. So she ended up buying my these book called 'girl talk' because she felt bad having to say it to someone so young. I am 12 now, and would like to ask:
> 
> what is rape? :3 I feel a bit stupid not knowing what it properly is. *



Non-consenting/forced sex, essentially. 
Oh, this point needs to be made...

*Even if you are in a relationship with someone, if they force sex upon you without your consent, it is rape and therefore illegal. *


----------



## fleaofdeath

MayorAvalon said:


> *This is something I didn't expect to see pop up c:
> 
> I had 'the talk' at the age of 9 after these girls in my class were talking about periods and girl parts at a school trip. My Mum supervised the trip, and when I went home, I asked her what they meant. So she ended up buying my these book called 'girl talk' because she felt bad having to say it to someone so young. I am 12 now, and would like to ask:
> 
> what is rape? :3 I feel a bit stupid not knowing what it properly is. *



The basic definition is sex without consent. If anyone forces you into sex without you saying yes, that's rape. (At least that's how I define it) =)


----------



## Princess Weeb

Jake. said:


> dont use flavored condoms they taste like **** and are a waste of money srsly wtf chocolate tastes like peasant
> 
> only good ones are vanilla and KINDA banana



on that note why are condoms so expensive?
I really don't get it.


----------



## Flop

MayorAvalon said:


> *This is something I didn't expect to see pop up c:
> 
> I had 'the talk' at the age of 9 after these girls in my class were talking about periods and girl parts at a school trip. My Mum supervised the trip, and when I went home, I asked her what they meant. So she ended up buying my these book called 'girl talk' because she felt bad having to say it to someone so young. I am 12 now, and would like to ask:
> 
> what is rape? :3 I feel a bit stupid not knowing what it properly is. *



It's nonconsensual sex that is typically forced upon another person. It can be aggressive, as well as statutory rape (an adult having consensual sex with a minor)

There are different laws in every state/country regarding the age difference for statutory rape, so it's best to look it up if you're uncertain.


----------



## mob

I suggest changing the title, no matter how crafty you were/are trying to be.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Melleia said:


> on that note why are condoms so expensive?
> I really don't get it.



they aren't and they are actually given out free if you find the right sources.
unless youre buying boxes. lel


----------



## Flop

Melleia said:


> on that note why are condoms so expensive?
> I really don't get it.



It's less expensive (and obnoxious) than a baby XD


----------



## amemome

Melleia said:


> on that note why are condoms so expensive?
> I really don't get it.



My university provides free birth control.  I'm sure if you have a health center nearby, you can get some inexpensive birth control.


----------



## Flop

gamzee said:


> I suggest changing the title, no matter how crafty you were/are trying to be.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> they aren't and they are actually given out free if you find the right sources.
> unless youre buying boxes. lel





Yeah, this does need a title change.


----------



## aetherene

Jake. said:


> dont use flavored condoms they taste like **** and are a waste of money srsly wtf chocolate tastes like peasant
> 
> only good ones are vanilla and KINDA banana



Flavored condoms are only good for bjs. Never for actual sex.

Because if we're being serious about safe sex, it would be to use condoms for sex and bjs.


----------



## Jake

condoms are cheap?????


----------



## amemome

Flop said:


> Yeah, this does need a title change.



just taking out "baby" will make it a ton better.  any mods/ OP up for the change?


----------



## cIementine

*Thanks for explaining guys c: I knew it was something along those lines and that it was illegal. I am pretty slow on all the things kids blab on about these days. Children my age are so dirty minded, it's just everything has to be related to cuss words or rape, etc :c*


----------



## aetherene

I think the topic on slut shaming should also be addressed in this thread.

There is such a double standard when it comes to it. If a guy has sex with lots of chicks, then he's such a player/stud/whatever. But if a girl has lots of sex, she's a slut/skank/tramp/all those words in the book.

But having lots of sex isn't a bad thing imo. As long as it's safe sex, consensual, and no one is being hurt by it aka no one is cheating. Cheating is never good, and I would never condone it.

It's in my personal values not to have lots of sex partners and one night stands, and sex should be reserved for relationships when you really care about someone and trust them. But if my friends want to have sex with someone who wants to have sex with them, then cool. Good for them. That's their decision.

When people slut shame, it's really just dumb. They say to the person to have more self-respect. But the thing is that self-respect is exactly that. It's the respect someone has for themselves. Someone could have lots of sexual partners and still respect themself. One's own respect for themself is not defined by another person.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Flop said:


> It's less expensive (and obnoxious) than a baby XD



They cost a ridiculous amount over here (or at least the decent/trusted brands do)
I'm pretty sure we have the highest teenage pregnancy rates here, so why the hell are they costing people like ?10+ for a box of about 5? what even
ok


----------



## Jake

aetherene said:


> Flavored condoms are only good for bjs. Never for actual sex.
> 
> Because if we're being serious about safe sex, it would be to use condoms for sex and bjs.



I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM WHY WOULD YOU SUCK SOMEONES D WITH A CONDOM ON IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE???
AND VAGINAS/ASSES DONT HAVE TASTE BUDS SO?????

i actually do not understand the point of them


----------



## amemome

Jake. said:


> condoms are cheap?????



depending on how you get them, yes.  And as Flop points out, not an investment like a baby would be.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Jake. said:


> condoms are cheap?????



They're really expensive here idkk


----------



## Jake

Melleia said:


> They cost a ridiculous amount over here (or at least the decent/trusted brands do)
> I'm pretty sure we have the highest teenage pregnancy rates here, so why the hell are they costing people like ?10+ for a box of about 5? what even
> ok



wtf you can get like a good brand with 12 in the box for like$8 here???


----------



## Poppyann

Melleia said:


> They're really expensive here idkk



Im guessing the UK? cos yeah they are expensive here Im gonna back you up on that...


----------



## Princess Weeb

Jake. said:


> wtf you can get like a good brand with 12 in the box for like$8 here???


Even the worse(r) brands are pretty expensive here. It's more like ?8 for the same amount ffs


----------



## amemome

aetherene said:


> I think the topic on slut shaming should also be addressed in this thread.
> 
> There is such a double standard when it comes to it. If a guy has sex with lots of chicks, then he's such a player/stud/whatever. But if a girl has lots of sex, she's a slut/skank/tramp/all those words in the book.
> 
> But having lots of sex isn't a bad thing imo. As long as it's safe sex, consensual, and no one is being hurt by it aka no one is cheating. Cheating is never good, and I would never condone it.
> 
> It's in my personal values not to have lots of sex partners and one night stands, and sex should be reserved for relationships when you really care about someone and trust them. But if my friends want to have sex with someone who wants to have sex with them, then cool. Good for them. That's their decision.
> 
> When people slut shame, it's really just dumb. They say to the person to have more self-respect. But the thing is that self-respect is exactly that. It's the respect someone has for themselves. Someone could have lots of sexual partners and still respect themself. One's own respect for themself is not defined by another person.



I definitely agree.  I think I see double standards in high school dress codes.  Dress codes usually focus more on females, and male equivalencies are less frequently considered "breaking the dress code."  Principals, can we just not?


----------



## aetherene

Jake. said:


> I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM WHY WOULD YOU SUCK SOMEONES D WITH A CONDOM ON IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE???
> AND VAGINAS/ASSES DONT HAVE TASTE BUDS SO?????
> 
> i actually do not understand the point of them



Using a condom during bjs is to prevent transmission of STIs. Cause someone can have it and when you suck someone's D, you can get something like herpes in your mouth. I've seen people have it before. It's pretty much encouraged to have safe sex whenever there is a transmission of bodily fluid. Flavored condoms are meant for bjs. Not for penis to vagina or vagina to vagina or penis to ass sex. Because the flavoring on the condoms can mess with the balance of your body, and that's not good.


----------



## Caius

Jake. said:


> I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM WHY WOULD YOU SUCK SOMEONES D WITH A CONDOM ON IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE???
> AND VAGINAS/ASSES DONT HAVE TASTE BUDS SO?????
> 
> i actually do not understand the point of them



Prevent transfer of STD's mostly.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Poppyann said:


> Im guessing the UK? cos yeah they are expensive here Im gonna back you up on that...



Yup~
but yeah we have the highest pregnancy rates so lets charge people a ridiculous amount of money for contraceptives ok


----------



## amemome

Jake. said:


> I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM WHY WOULD YOU SUCK SOMEONES D WITH A CONDOM ON IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE???
> AND VAGINAS/ASSES DONT HAVE TASTE BUDS SO?????
> 
> i actually do not understand the point of them



you can get STD (STI)s from oral contact.  Need condom ALWAYS.


----------



## Jake

aetherene said:


> Using a condom during bjs is to prevent transmission of STIs. Cause someone can have it and when you suck someone's D, you can get something like herpes in your mouth. I've seen people have it before. It's pretty much encouraged to have safe sex whenever there is a transmission of bodily fluid. Flavored condoms are meant for bjs. Not for penis to vagina or vagina to vagina or penis to ass sex. Because the flavoring on the condoms can mess with the balance of your body, and that's not good.



I aint using a condom for a bj **** that **** imma risk it YOLO ive risked it all my life and i am free so holla @ me


----------



## unravel

Jake. said:


> I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM WHY WOULD YOU SUCK SOMEONES D WITH A CONDOM ON IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE???
> AND VAGINAS/ASSES DONT HAVE TASTE BUDS SO?????
> 
> i actually do not understand the point of them



If the condom has a tiny hole and something then gg


----------



## amemome

Jake. said:


> I aint using a condom for a bj **** that **** imma risk it YOLO ive risked it all my life and i am free so holla @ me



it's all your call.  nobody will force you, but you do have options.


----------



## Poppyann

Jake. said:


> I aint using a condom for a bj **** that **** imma risk it YOLO ive risked it all my life and i am free so holla @ me



sometimes your replies make my day, god bless you and your sig


----------



## Princess Weeb

amemome said:


> I definitely agree.  I think I see double standards in high school dress codes.  Dress codes usually focus more on females, and male equivalencies are less frequently considered "breaking the dress code."  Principals, can we just not?



Our dress codes go more on student favoritism. 
Yeah there is some sexism, but if a teacher likes you/if you're clever, you can wear all the makeup you like/dye your hair whatever colour and pretty much destroy your uniform with badges and paint and whatever and nobody will bat an eyelid. 

(I go to a pretty strict grammar school, by the way ahah)


----------



## aetherene

Jake. said:


> I aint using a condom for a bj **** that **** imma risk it YOLO ive risked it all my life and i am free so holla @ me



If we're being real here, even if they are taught, not many people will actually follow the advice. That's just how it goes. I personally don't use them because I don't like the idea of sucking on latex.

If you don't want to use a condom for a bj, then that's your decision.


----------



## amemome

Melleia said:


> Our dress codes go more on student favoritism.
> Yeah there is some sexism, but if a teacher likes you/if you're clever, you can wear all the makeup you like/dye your hair whatever colour and pretty much destroy your uniform with badges and paint and whatever and nobody will bat an eyelid.
> 
> (I go to a pretty strict grammar school, by the way ahah)



My GOD that is so freaking wrong... ugh that angers me... I hate playing the favorites game.


----------



## unravel

amemome said:


> you can get STD (STI)s from oral contact.  Need condom ALWAYS.



I don't think so. You may still have STD tho


----------



## Princess Weeb

amemome said:


> you can get STD (STI)s from oral contact.  Need condom ALWAYS.


I'm with Jake on this one, I've never heard of people using condoms for oral, it sounds ridiculous.
(This is why you should get tested with your partner regularly) :")


----------



## Kildor

Quick question : What causes STD, and how did the person get it? Out of thin air? 
I'm really curious. Also, I support this thread. My achool never talked about this. They only talked about pointless stuff like, "Don't get into a relationship yet!" Or things about puberty.


----------



## iamnothyper

Melleia said:


> Yup~
> but yeah we have the highest pregnancy rates so lets charge people a ridiculous amount of money for contraceptives ok



its a business, a lucrative one at that. people will have sex and will need condoms regardless of the price. so why not charge higher?

i just wanted to add to rape point that maybe is also no, that no response is also no. if a girl, or guy, does not explicitly say they want to have sex with you then it could be considered rape.

- - - Post Merge - - -



kildor22 said:


> Quick question : What causes STD, and how did the person get it? Out of thin air?
> I'm really curious. Also, I support this thread. My achool never talked about this. They only talked about pointless stuff like, "Don't get into a relationship yet!" Or things about puberty.



honestly, there's whole bunch of stds out there so its hard to generalize but. direct contact with any sexual bodily fluid usually does the trick.


----------



## Princess Weeb

amemome said:


> My GOD that is so freaking wrong... ugh that angers me... I hate playing the favorites game.



Like my boyfriend has dyed black hair and was threatened exclusion unless he dyed it out (fyi he never did lol) because apparently it is against the school rules and isn't a natural hair colour yet I got away with neon orange for ages. B)

(p.s I currently have black hair and nobody has ever told me off)


----------



## Princess Weeb

iamnothyper said:


> its a business, a lucrative one at that. people will have sex and will need condoms regardless of the price. so why not charge higher?


I get it, but if the government are so concerned about high pregnancy rates, surely they would do something about it?
I have no idea if they tax it though, actually.


----------



## Coni

kildor22 said:


> Quick question : What causes STD, and how did the person get it? Out of thin air?
> I'm really curious. Also, I support this thread. My achool never talked about this. They only talked about pointless stuff like, "Don't get into a relationship yet!" Or things about puberty.



Depending on the disease many are usually contagious only by sexual intercourse but a nice amount of infections and other diseases will stay on your blood/saliva until you* finish your meds*. Althought there is a exception with Hepatitis and VIH, that one stays on your blood forever and you cant give blood or have intercourse without the risk to infect the other.

Edit: Sometimes you can be born with VIH or sifilis (another sexual disease... thats treatable btw), but that would be because your mother has it and gave it to you when you were a fetus or by breast feeding you. (only applies for VIH)


----------



## Kaiaa

*Posting a quick reminder:*

Remember to keep things serious and don't judge anyone. Absolutely no "slut shaming" or debates on abortion or religion!! 

This isn't a place to judge others but to inform others who are curious to what comes naturally. However, this isn't a "how to" thread so keep your explanations for things forum appropriate. If you are not mature enough for these kinds of discussions, don't post.

If this topic becomes too out of hand it will be closed. All questions should be serious and all answers should be respectful and informative.


----------



## Jake

kildor22 said:


> Quick question : What causes STD, and how did the person get it? Out of thin air?
> I'm really curious. Also, I support this thread. My achool never talked about this. They only talked about pointless stuff like, "Don't get into a relationship yet!" Or things about puberty.



you get STDs by sleeping with other people with STD's, its not just like 'i dont like this couple it is not my otp so i will give them an STD"


----------



## aetherene

amemome said:


> I definitely agree.  I think I see double standards in high school dress codes.  Dress codes usually focus more on females, and male equivalencies are less frequently considered "breaking the dress code."  Principals, can we just not?



What really makes me mad is when you see the stories about how schools are changing dress codes and making girls cover up so it doesn't distract the boys.

Really?

It's ridiculous because if the weather is really hot, girls don't wanna wear pants. They wanna wear shorts and skirts and be cool. People really need to stop oversexualizing body parts. We all have legs, congratulations. It may be messed up, but if a school has these sort of dress codes, I want a girl to faint from the heat because she was forced to wear clothes that are not practical in accordance to the weather. It's endangerment.

My high school used to have a rule where girls' shorts and skirts had to be three fingers below the butt. Then they changed the uniform and the shorts and skirts. Instead of making all girls wear pants year round, they let us wear shorts that went down to our knees. That's a much better alternative than only wearing pants.


----------



## iamnothyper

aetherene said:


> What really makes me mad is when you see the stories about how schools are changing dress codes and making girls cover up so it doesn't distract the boys.
> 
> Really?
> 
> It's ridiculous because if the weather is really hot, girls don't wanna wear pants. They wanna wear shorts and skirts and be cool. People really need to stop oversexualizing body parts. We all have legs, congratulations. It may be messed up, but if a school has these sort of dress codes, I want a girl to faint from the heat because she was forced to wear clothes that are not practical in accordance to the weather. It's endangerment.
> 
> My high school used to have a rule where girls' shorts and skirts had to be three fingers below the butt. Then they changed the uniform and the shorts and skirts. Instead of making all girls wear pants year round, they let us wear shorts that went down to our knees. That's a much better alternative than only wearing pants.



it really annoys me. 
it shouldn't be: how not to get raped. it should be: do not rape.


----------



## Kaiaa

kildor22 said:


> Quick question : What causes STD, and how did the person get it? Out of thin air?
> I'm really curious. Also, I support this thread. My achool never talked about this. They only talked about pointless stuff like, "Don't get into a relationship yet!" Or things about puberty.



STD (sexually transmitted diseases) are viruses or bacteria that is transferred from one partner to the next through bodily fluid exchanges. To prevent them one must always use protection and have themselves and partners tested. You can get STDs on genitals as well as in the mouth, nose, and eyes depending on where the effected fluid touches.


----------



## aetherene

iamnothyper said:


> it really annoys me.
> it shouldn't be: how not to get raped. it should be: do not rape.



I definitely agree.

I remember reading something on tumblr that said that everyone should be taught about rape the same way we are taught about cannibalism; it's just morally wrong and abhorrent in this society.


----------



## cIementine

aetherene said:


> What really makes me mad is when you see the stories about how schools are changing dress codes and making girls cover up so it doesn't distract the boys.
> 
> Really?
> 
> It's ridiculous because if the weather is really hot, girls don't wanna wear pants. They wanna wear shorts and skirts and be cool. People really need to stop oversexualizing body parts. We all have legs, congratulations. It may be messed up, but if a school has these sort of dress codes, I want a girl to faint from the heat because she was forced to wear clothes that are not practical in accordance to the weather. It's endangerment.
> 
> My high school used to have a rule where girls' shorts and skirts had to be three fingers below the butt. Then they changed the uniform and the shorts and skirts. Instead of making all girls wear pants year round, they let us wear shorts that went down to our knees. That's a much better alternative than only wearing pants.



*My school has a special skirt with the school logo on it, which is the only skirt girls are allowed to wear and it is down to your knees before the girls hitch them up.*


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Melleia said:


> They cost a ridiculous amount over here (or at least the decent/trusted brands do)
> I'm pretty sure we have the highest teenage pregnancy rates here, so why the hell are they costing people like ?10+ for a box of about 5? what even
> ok



Oh you're in the uk? There's an app ( I can't remember what it's called that tells you loads of locations where you can get free condoms in the area you live.


----------



## Zedark

Guys in my school don't get taught about rape we get moved to another classroom when the girls are being taught about it which bothers me because guys can get raped too.


----------



## Kildor

Kaiaa said:


> STD (sexually transmitted diseases) are viruses or bacteria that is transferred from one partner to the next through bodily fluid exchanges. To prevent them one must always use protection and have themselves and partners tested. You can get STDs on genitals as well as in the mouth, nose, and eyes depending on where the effected fluid touches.



Oh alright. Thanks for the answers  
Why does STD kill though? And where did it originally come from? Animals?


----------



## amemome

Melleia said:


> Like my boyfriend has dyed black hair and was threatened exclusion unless he dyed it out (fyi he never did lol) because apparently it is against the school rules and isn't a natural hair colour yet I got away with neon orange for ages. B)
> 
> (p.s I currently have black hair and nobody has ever told me off)


... that is absolutely absurd.  I'm shocked that that kind of selectivism is even tolerated...  Usually a few parent complaints are enough to tip admins, but wow... that's quite unfortunate.


----------



## Flop

kildor22 said:


> Oh alright. Thanks for the answers
> Why does STD kill though? And where did it originally come from? Animals?



They can just become serious infections and cause loads of problems with your body. I won't go into detail because there is so much. I think that STD's just originated from genetic abnormalities, but I may be mistaken.  Hopefully someone can clarify.


----------



## Caius

kildor22 said:


> Oh alright. Thanks for the answers
> Why does STD kill though? And where did it originally come from? Animals?



STD's come from many different places, and though they're not all _deadly_ per-se, they can cause pain, discomfort, or long (if not forever) lasting complications. One of the most famous ones is HIV, which is able to be gotten from reusing unclean needles, sexual activity, or even mosquito bites.


----------



## Princess Weeb

iamnothyper said:


> it really annoys me.
> it shouldn't be: how not to get raped. it should be: do not rape.



on the rape subject my school endorses rapists!!?!
Like literally this sixth former got raped by another student at a party and the school didn't even punish him, or contact the police when the girl asked for help. 
What they did do, however, was deny it even happened and they threw out people that made jokes about the guy that raped her/pointed out how useless the school is. 
erg


----------



## amemome

Zedark said:


> Guys in my school don't get taught about rape we get moved to another classroom when the girls are being taught about it which bothers me because guys can get raped too.



Very true that men also get raped.  Perhaps what we need is an all-inclusive class that teaches us that all genders/identities can be rapists.  It's never just a "woman gets raped by man" experience, and we need to represent this in schools.  Why do we need to shy away from this discussion in school anyways?


----------



## aetherene

kildor22 said:


> Oh alright. Thanks for the answers
> Why does STD kill though? And where did it originally come from? Animals?



Some STDS suppress your immune system. Therefore, you get sick easier and it is harder to recover from.


----------



## Caius

amemome said:


> Very true that men also get raped.  Perhaps what we need is an all-inclusive class that teaches us that all genders/identities can be rapists.  It's never just a "woman gets raped by man" experience, and we need to represent this in schools.  Why do we need to shy away from this discussion in school anyways?



My schools have never avoided it. The ones that didn't avoid it are the ones where I actually had issues.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Zedark said:


> Guys in my school don't get taught about rape we get moved to another classroom when the girls are being taught about it which bothers me because guys can get raped too.



This </3
It genuinely angers me when people think women are the only victims, the only ones that can get raped or have mental health disorders, eating disorders or self harm.. etc
If we keep ignoring it, especially when the stats aren't as small as most people think, I dread to think how the mentality of the male and female population towards men will change.

*Things like domestic abuse, too.


----------



## amemome

Zr388 said:


> My schools have never avoided it. The ones that didn't avoid it are the ones where I actually had issues.



Issues with how sex and sexuality were taught?


----------



## Caius

amemome said:


> Issues with how sex and sexuality were taught?



Rape. Sexuality has never been an issue in any school I've attended.


----------



## Nerd House

I had sex ed in my school. Yeah, sometimes it can be graphic, but in my opinion its very helpful. It explains the process, what happens, and what could happen (we were shown pictures of people and their symptoms while they had different STD's...not pretty xD )


----------



## amemome

Zr388 said:


> Rape. Sexuality has never been an issue in any school I've attended.



Ah.  I'm guessing it's the old "omg gurls u need to protect urselves omg" narrative.


----------



## Caius

amemome said:


> Ah.  I'm guessing it's the old "omg gurls u need to protect urselves omg" narrative.



No.. I'm saying we had discussions between both genders in the same room about it. It was only those schools where _rape actually came up as an issue._


----------



## amemome

Zr388 said:


> No.. I'm saying we had discussions between both genders in the same room about it. It was only those schools where _rape actually came up as an issue._



Whoops, I guess I misunderstood.


----------



## Cariad

What's a bj? You mentioned it earlier.


----------



## aetherene

Adol the Red said:


> I had sex ed in my school. Yeah, sometimes it can be graphic, but in my opinion its very helpful. It explains the process, what happens, and what could happen (we were shown pictures of people and their symptoms while they had different STD's...not pretty xD )



I took an anatomy and physiology class and we had to do projects on certain illnesses and diseases. One girl did hers on STDs and she showed us pictures of genitals affected by different STDs. It definitely isn't pretty, which is why it is very important for everyone to be taught to use condoms to reduce the risk of contracting one.


----------



## Flop

MissNoodle said:


> What's a bj? You mentioned it earlier.



"Blow job"

It's just slang for oral sex with the penis.


----------



## Kildor

MissNoodle said:


> What's a bj? You mentioned it earlier.



It means Blowjob I think. Slang for Oral sex with the penis.

Edit: Ninja'd.


----------



## Cariad

Even a rebel character in Double Cross uses a condom.

- - - Post Merge - - -



kildor22 said:


> It means Blowjob I think. Slang for Oral sex.



Oh. Thanks!


----------



## Fearthecuteness

aetherene said:


> I took an anatomy and physiology class and we had to do projects on certain illnesses and diseases. One girl did hers on STDs and she showed us pictures of genitals affected by different STDs. It definitely isn't pretty, which is why it is very important for everyone to be taught to use condoms to reduce the risk of contracting one.



It is definitely important because you then know what different STDs and STIs look like. It's also important to know that you might have one without knowing it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Wait. When did the title of this thread get changed? :s


----------



## amemome

Fearthecuteness said:


> It is definitely important because you then know what different STDs and STIs look like. It's also important to know that you might have one without knowing it.



PSA: If you're sexually active, please make sure to get tested regularly!


----------



## Flop

Fearthecuteness said:


> It is definitely important because you then know what different STDs and STIs look like. It's also important to know that you might have one without knowing it.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Wait. When did the title of this thread get changed? :s



*Zr388* (Maybeeeee *Kaiaa*) 

The title was kind of immature, so I can understand why it was changed.


----------



## aetherene

Planned Parenthood is a great place to go to get tested for any STD/STI. It's also a good place to talk about contraception and birth control. They can give you a prescription and you can refill it there for a price.

It's a bit steep imo. For the one in my area, it was like $50 for a consultation + getting the prescription, $112 for getting an exam, consultation, and the prescription, and then $20 something for each refill of the pill. >__< For a girl who has no job, that's a lot. I wouldn't even let my boyfriend pay for it because it was pretty expensive in my eyes. I'll stick with condoms and tracking my fertile cycles.


----------



## Ashtot

aetherene said:


> What really makes me mad is when you see the stories about how schools are changing dress codes and making girls cover up so it doesn't distract the boys.
> 
> Really?
> 
> It's ridiculous because if the weather is really hot, girls don't wanna wear pants. They wanna wear shorts and skirts and be cool. People really need to stop oversexualizing body parts. We all have legs, congratulations. It may be messed up, but if a school has these sort of dress codes, I want a girl to faint from the heat because she was forced to wear clothes that are not practical in accordance to the weather. It's endangerment.
> 
> My high school used to have a rule where girls' shorts and skirts had to be three fingers below the butt. Then they changed the uniform and the shorts and skirts. Instead of making all girls wear pants year round, they let us wear shorts that went down to our knees. That's a much better alternative than only wearing pants.



Do you think guys get hot as well? You don't see guys wearing short shorts. The reason girls wear that kind of clothing is because over-sexualization already took place, It's not some new thing. What you're saying doesn't even make sense.

I should elaborate, the reason people try to force a dress code is because women ARE oversexualized, and it is for the same reason that the clothes that women wear are on the market, they aren't advertised saying "wear these and you will stay cool all summer long".


----------



## Bearica

In regards to the pill:
It isn't for everybody. If you have complications or side effects with the pill you need to contact your doctor and either try a different brand (I've had different experiences with different brands) or talk about other methods of birth control. It's definitely something to look into if you have heavy or irregular menstrual cycles or if you're planning to be or already sexually active!


----------



## Princess Weeb

Bearica said:


> In regards to the pill:
> It isn't for everybody. If you have complications or side effects with the pill you need to contact your doctor and either try a different brand (I've had different experiences with different brands) or talk about other methods of birth control. It's definitely something to look into if you have heavy or irregular menstrual cycles or if you're planning to be or already sexually active!



unfortunately my doctors are absolutely moronic and despite the fact that my hormones are absolutely haywire,  and I
have pcos and my periods are mental they still refuse to give me the pill??

Apparently it is because of my age? (yet I've heard of people considerably younger than be being prescribed it for the same reasons)

also because I know a lot of you know my age I am actually a virgin before I get absolutely flipped out at ahah


----------



## amemome

Ashtot said:


> Do you think guys get hot as well? You don't see guys wearing short shorts. The reason girls wear that kind of clothing is because over-sexualization already took place, It's not some new thing. What you're saying doesn't even make sense.



Well, I do think that it's fair to say that yes, society has been over-sexualized, it's not the same as choice.  Guys are free to wear whatever pant length they choose, but most merely choose to wear longer pants.  Girls are not, on the contrary, "allowed" to choose due to the consequences they face for choosing their pant length.

It's a pretty complex argument with many different ways to argue for either side.


----------



## Coni

Bearica said:


> In regards to the pill:
> It isn't for everybody. If you have complications or side effects with the pill you need to contact your doctor and either try a different brand (I've had different experiences with different brands) or talk about other methods of birth control. It's definitely something to look into if you have heavy or irregular menstrual cycles or if you're planning to be or already sexually active!




This so much, I suffered from fainting, excruciating pain among other symptoms every month when I had my period and I was prescribed the pill (at a very young age) only to make my cycles regular and control my hormones. It did wonders! I did have to change them afterwards (I started on the pill at the age of 12) now Im 22 so as my body changed so did my hormones and I already went through 3 different brands of pills.

Oh and no, taking the pill didnt unleash me to the sex world as many believe xD I lost my virginity with my first official bf when I was 19


----------



## Bearica

Melleia said:


> unfortunately my doctors are absolutely moronic and despite the fact that my hormones are absolutely haywire,  and I
> have pcos and my periods are mental they still refuse to give me the pill??
> 
> Apparently it is because of my age? (yet I've heard of people considerably younger than be being prescribed it for the same reasons)
> 
> also because I know a lot of you know my age I am actually a virgin before I get absolutely flipped out at ahah



I'm not exactly sure how birth control would effect your PCOS, but as far as I know because the pill tries to regulate your hormones and whatnot it might make them even more haywire? You'd probably want to ask your doctor for the specifics on the effect it would have with your pcos.
As far as age goes, I started on the pill in middle school (so I was like, 12) because of my menstrual cycle so I'm not sure why age would be a factor.


----------



## amemome

Melleia said:


> unfortunately my doctors are absolutely moronic and despite the fact that my hormones are absolutely haywire,  and I
> have pcos and my periods are mental they still refuse to give me the pill??
> 
> Apparently it is because of my age? (yet I've heard of people considerably younger than be being prescribed it for the same reasons)
> 
> also because I know a lot of you know my age I am actually a virgin before I get absolutely flipped out at ahah



Hmm... I've witnessed a very close friend of mine who has had severe menstrual cramping-- to the point where she physically could not make it to school or took extra Ibuprofen just to try to ease the pain.

I'd try to bring up the discussion with your parents again.  If your pain becomes a detraction to the quality of life you wish to live, I don't think it's unreasonable to at least talk about the options.

It's ok that you're a virgin... haha, I'm a virgin too.  And it's great that you are open to discussing sex.  Educated is better than unprepared.


----------



## iamnothyper

amemome said:


> Well, I do think that it's fair to say that yes, society has been over-sexualized, it's not the same as choice.  Guys are free to wear whatever pant length they choose, but most merely choose to wear longer pants.  Girls are not, on the contrary, "allowed" to choose due to the consequences they face for choosing their pant length.
> 
> It's a pretty complex argument with many different ways to argue for either side.



theres this image about skirt lengths that i need to find, its brilliant


----------



## Bearica

Coni said:


> This so much, I suffered from fainting, excruciating pain among other symptoms every month when I had my period and I was prescribed the pill (at a very young age) only to make my cycles regular and control my hormones. It did wonders! I did have to change them afterwards (I started on the pill at the age of 12) now Im 22 so as my body changed so did my hormones and I already went through 3 different brands of pills.
> 
> Oh and no, taking the pill didnt unleash me to the sex world as many believe xD I lost my virginity with my first official bf when I was 19


I went through pretty much the exact same thing (extreme pain, heavy cycles, etc) which is why I started on the pill at 12 myself. I'm 19 now and I've changed brands a few different times and it definitely works wonders for regulating your cycle!!


----------



## Princess Weeb

Bearica said:


> I'm not exactly sure how birth control would effect your PCOS, but as far as I know because the pill tries to regulate your hormones and whatnot it might make them even more haywire? You'd probably want to ask your doctor for the specifics on the effect it would have with your pcos.
> As far as age goes, I started on the pill in middle school (so I was like, 12) because of my menstrual cycle so I'm not sure why age would be a factor.


It's too much testosterone so it would balance them out, and I'm 15 so apparently I'm too young?
I have no idea, I think they're just lazy.

- - - Post Merge - - -



amemome said:


> Hmm... I've witnessed a very close friend of mine who has had severe menstrual cramping-- to the point where she physically could not make it to school or took extra Ibuprofen just to try to ease the pain.
> 
> I'd try to bring up the discussion with your parents again.  If your pain becomes a detraction to the quality of life you wish to live, I don't think it's unreasonable to at least talk about the options.
> 
> It's ok that you're a virgin... haha, I'm a virgin too.  And it's great that you are open to discussing sex.  Educated is better than unprepared.



I sometimes pass out *yay*
and I've been with my boyfriend for like 3 years, so people automatically assume we've done everything ffs


----------



## amemome

iamnothyper said:


> um, guys can go shirtless so



um... they can.  Sorry could you explain your argument ;A;


----------



## iamnothyper

here:
http://i2.cdnds.net/13/04/618x865/odd_skirt_viral.jpg

i think its a really powerful picture


----------



## Bearica

Melleia said:


> It's too much testosterone so it would balance them out, and I'm 15 so apparently I'm too young?
> I have no idea, I think they're just lazy.


You might want to try going to a different doctor(s?) then and getting a second opinion. Also do plenty of research beforehand so you know all of the possible side-effects of the pill, and also look into other forms of birth control. (Such as the depo-provera shot.)


----------



## iamnothyper

amemome said:


> um... they can.  Sorry could you explain your argument ;A;



that wasnt to you, it was to the other person. 
i then realized it was about dress codes so i deleted my statement.

but regardless, i just wanted to say that girls are more restricted by what is "appropriate"
i'll just re-post this here i guess
http://i2.cdnds.net/13/04/618x865/odd_skirt_viral.jpg

and i'll stop cause its getting a bit off topic xD


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Coni said:


> This so much, I suffered from fainting, excruciating pain among other symptoms every month when I had my period and I was prescribed the pill (at a very young age) only to make my cycles regular and control my hormones. It did wonders! I did have to change them afterwards (I started on the pill at the age of 12) now Im 22 so as my body changed so did my hormones and I already went through 3 different brands of pills.
> 
> Oh and no, taking the pill didnt unleash me to the sex world as many believe xD I lost my virginity with my first official bf when I was 19



This. I also recommend *NEVER GO TO PLAN PARENTHOOD* and go to a real facility that is a team of OBGYN's
I have chronic migraines and one of the questions that is normally asked when it comes to birth control is if you have migraines.
Well, basically Plan Parenthood said I would be "ok" with that type of pill and would be fine.

First 3 months were great. I was on cloud 9 and the 7-10 day horrible cramp periods I had became 3-4 day no cramp ones. It was great.
Then, suddenly, I had a 3 week migraine.
I was insanely sick... Dehydrated from vomiting and sleep deprived from the pain... I was also starving non-stop because I could eat nothing without throwing up.
I was the pill...

I went to a real hospital and got my own OBGYN.
Turns out, at 18, I was in an extremely high chance of having a stroke thanks to Plan Parenthood saying I would be "ok".
My doctor was shocked... and probably would have helped me if I decided to sue the facility.

Anyways, since going to talk to a _real_ specialist, I found out I can ONLY be on the shot ((which has some serious side effects as well)) or the inserts ((which I personally know people who have had bad problems with it)) or I am increased chance of stroke because my estrogen levels are too high and are possibly causing the migraines... and can cause a stroke.

But I recommend not getting on any BC if you don't _need it_.
With the shot, it has lots of bad side effects... just like basically any medication you can take.
Like right now, not even being on it for a year, it has given myself a thinning vaginal wall...
Just so you know what that means to give you an idea, putting a ****ing tampon in can tear my wall causing intense pain.... Imagine the pain caused by sex... yeah...
So, yeah. 

Also, being on BC doesn't mean you are or are going to be sexually active ((again I do recommend not doing BC if you aren't planning to be or are sexually active for the side effects)).
As I posted, I got on the pill at 18. I didn't lose my virginity until AFTER I was married at 22.


----------



## Cariad

iamnothyper said:


> that wasnt to you, it was to the other person.
> i then realized it was about dress codes so i deleted my statement.
> 
> but regardless, i just wanted to say that girls are more restricted by what is "appropriate"
> i'll just re-post this here i guess
> http://i2.cdnds.net/13/04/618x865/odd_skirt_viral.jpg
> 
> and i'll stop cause its getting a bit off topic xD


I'm flirty! Apparently. Ok. Off topic.
Umm, what exactly is discharge?


----------



## Coni

Bearica said:


> You might want to try going to a different doctor(s?) then and getting a second opinion. Also do plenty of research beforehand so you know all of the possible side-effects of the pill, and also look into other forms of birth control. (Such as the depo-provera shot.)




You could do as Bearica says, I remember I went to 2 different doctors and it was my pediatrician who recommended my mother I should start taking the pill because the symptons wont stop by their own.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Bearica said:


> You might want to try going to a different doctor(s?) then and getting a second opinion. Also do plenty of research beforehand so you know all of the possible side-effects of the pill, and also look into other forms of birth control. (Such as the depo-provera shot.)



I'm 99.9% sure it is because they're all lazy.
one of my friends went to about for different doctors from this same place because he thought he had epilepsy, he tested positive, and yet they did nothing until he finally had a seizure. 
The side effects are pretty similar to that of the thyroid tablets I take, so it should be fine.


----------



## aetherene

Ashtot said:


> Do you think guys get hot as well? You don't see guys wearing short shorts. The reason girls wear that kind of clothing is because over-sexualization already took place, It's not some new thing. What you're saying doesn't even make sense.
> 
> I should elaborate, the reason people try to force a dress code is because women ARE oversexualized, and it is for the same reason that the clothes that women wear are on the market, they aren't advertised saying "wear these and you will stay cool all summer long".



I was talking about the double standard with clothing and dress codes. Guys aren't forced to wear pants all the time. They can wear shorts or even walk with no shirt off and no one bats an eye. (And guys can wear short shorts, for the record.)

But the problem is that women's body parts are being oversexualized for stupid reasons and we have to pay for it. Why should I have to cover up my legs when it's hot and I'd be burning in jeans in 90-100 degree weather. That's the thing. We all have legs. We use them to walk around. That's nothing new. Not all women dress up to impress men. They do it for themselves or they want to feel comfortable.

I'm saying that it's stupid for schools to make girls cover up in hot weather, when it can put their health in danger. So at the cost of not "distracting" other guys, girls are forced to wear pants and longer sleeves year round.


----------



## amemome

iamnothyper said:


> here:
> http://i2.cdnds.net/13/04/618x865/odd_skirt_viral.jpg
> 
> i think its a really powerful picture



I've seen that picture and I agree, women are branded by unfair standards.  

I guess I was trying to emphasize that our culture does focus on sex-- in a way that becomes socially unacceptable for women to express themselves and "exploits" them.  I also wanted to say that men have more choice in regards to what they are "allowed to do" versus women.

edit: just saw your comment. thanks for explaining!


----------



## Bearica

Melleia said:


> I'm 99.9% sure it is because they're all lazy.
> one of my friends went to about for different doctors from this same place because he thought he had epilepsy, he tested positive, and yet they did nothing until he finally had a seizure.
> The side effects are pretty similar to that of the thyroid tablets I take, so it should be fine.



I'd definitely suggest seeing a different doctor then. If you don't believe them to be looking out for your health and well-being, then don't waste your time seeing them.


----------



## Ashtot

aetherene said:


> I was talking about the double standard with clothing and dress codes. Guys aren't forced to wear pants all the time. They can wear shorts or even walk with no shirt off and no one bats an eye. (And guys can wear short shorts, for the record.)
> 
> But the problem is that women's body parts are being oversexualized for stupid reasons and we have to pay for it. Why should I have to cover up my legs when it's hot and I'd be burning in jeans in 90-100 degree weather. That's the thing. We all have legs. We use them to walk around. That's nothing new. Not all women dress up to impress men. They do it for themselves or they want to feel comfortable.
> 
> I'm saying that it's stupid for schools to make girls cover up in hot weather, when it can put their health in danger. So at the cost of not "distracting" other guys, girls are forced to wear pants and longer sleeves year round.



Sorry I didn't exactly explain myself properly, but for the most part I agree with you. The thing I'm trying to stress is that guys are much more visual than girls which is why that is even an argument in the first place. And yeah I was mainly talking about dress codes.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

aetherene said:


> I was talking about the double standard with clothing and dress codes. Guys aren't forced to wear pants all the time. They can wear shorts or even walk with no shirt off and no one bats an eye. (And guys can wear short shorts, for the record.)
> 
> But the problem is that women's body parts are being oversexualized for stupid reasons and we have to pay for it. Why should I have to cover up my legs when it's hot and I'd be burning in jeans in 90-100 degree weather. That's the thing. We all have legs. We use them to walk around. That's nothing new. Not all women dress up to impress men. They do it for themselves or they want to feel comfortable.
> 
> *I'm saying that it's stupid for schools to make girls cover up in hot weather*, when it can put their health in danger. So at the cost of not "distracting" other guys, girls are forced to wear pants and longer sleeves year round.



... Personally, I don't wanna sit in some seat that some other girl or guy was just sitting at that had their ass hanging out.
Sanitation problem there. >.>

Sorry joined half way through... but it just reminded me of this one slut ((ok... she was a slut I'm not making fun of her clothing chooses. she was the villager bicycle...)) who would always walk around with her ass out. She always got away with it because the male teachers didn't mind. -rolls eyes-

But it is awful the double standards played in socity.


----------



## Bearica

MissNoodle said:


> I'm flirty! Apparently. Ok. Off topic.
> Umm, what exactly is discharge?



Vaginal discharge is secretions from the vagina of clear mucus. It's normal and nothing to worry about unless it's oddly colored, which is usually a sign of an infection.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Ashtot said:


> Sorry I didn't exactly explain myself properly, but for the most part I agree with you. *The thing I'm trying to stress is that guys are much more visual than girls* which is why that is even an argument in the first place. And yeah I was mainly talking about dress codes.



I have to disagree there.
Women are very perspective to visual things.
Why do you think it takes some hours in the bathroom to get ready? XP
A girl can be distracted by a hot shirtless guy just as much a guy can be distracted by a hot girl in a short skirt.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Bearica said:


> I'd definitely suggest seeing a different doctor then. If you don't believe them to be looking out for your health and well-being, then don't waste your time seeing them.



I'll try, but my parents will think I am making it up again ahah :")


----------



## Bearica

Melleia said:


> I'll try, but my parents will think I am making it up again ahah :")



If your parents are opposed to the pill, then sit them down and show them how it could help. A lot of people don't realize that it's not JUST for preventing childbirth, but regulates menstrual cycles and hormones.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Bearica said:


> Vaginal discharge is secretions from the vagina of clear mucus. It's normal and nothing to worry about unless it's oddly colored, which is usually a sign of an infection.



And to add a note.
Women can be so irritated at something that their brain will not recognize being turned on or even an orgasm but the body will.
So, sometimes it is not always clear but more white.
White really is only bad if it is all cottage cheese looking... which is a sign of a yeast infection.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Bearica said:


> If your parents are opposed to the pill, then sit them down and show them how it could help. A lot of people don't realize that it's not JUST for preventing childbirth, but regulates menstrual cycles and hormones.



They don't oppose the pill, they just think I'm lying.
Like that time I told them I was depressed and they totally ignored me.

jokes on them I have bipolar disorder
what is wrong with some parents ffs


----------



## Leanne

Can I, um, ask about a masturbation here? It is so embarrassing to talk about this for me but I prefer to ask here than anywhere else.

I discovered how to do it when I was 6 (but I didn't know what it was until two years ago...), and it's not like I have done it every day ever since but more like a few times a month at most. My question is, is it true that doing it too much can reduce how much you enjoy real sex later on? I don't know about boys, but it is a bit "trendy" to talk about these things in my school and all the girls say that masturbating too much (how much would be "too much"?) will later ruin sex when you actually start doing it.

I'm so so so sorry if this sounds ignorant. In my school there's no actual sex ed class but rather they dedicate one week of schooling to just that. The person who gave that class was very mean and I didn't dare ask questions, and I'd ask my parents but I feel too embarrassed to tell them I masturbate even when I know they wouldn't have a problem with it.


----------



## Bearica

fallenchaoskitten said:


> And to add a note.
> Women can be so irritated at something that their brain will not recognize being turned on or even an orgasm but the body will.
> So, sometimes it is not always clear but more white.
> White really is only bad if it is all cottage cheese looking... which is a sign of a yeast infection.



Yes, the discharge can turn white or yellow when exposed to air - this is perfectly normal also. If it has an odd, gross odor to it or is thick then it is a sign of a yeast infection or a bladder infection.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Melleia said:


> I'll try, but my parents will think I am making it up again ahah :")



I definitely recommend that. 
If you have any family members or friends you are comfortable enough with to talk about that stuff with, I would ask them what doctor they go see and try that.


----------



## fleaofdeath

fallenchaoskitten said:


> ... Personally, I don't wanna sit in some seat that some other girl or guy was just sitting at that had their ass hanging out.
> Sanitation problem there. >.>



Omg this. I don't buy girls shorts for this reason. I either wear basketball shorts or long khakis. And that's another thing. Ladies, if you don't like how clothing sexualizes you, DON'T WEAR OR BUY THAT CLOTHING. It only contributes to the problem =/


----------



## aetherene

fallenchaoskitten said:


> ... Personally, I don't wanna sit in some seat that some other girl or guy was just sitting at that had their ass hanging out.
> Sanitation problem there. >.>
> 
> Sorry joined half way through... but it just reminded me of this one slut ((ok... she was a slut I'm not making fun of her clothing chooses. she was the villager bicycle...)) who would always walk around with her ass out. She always got away with it because the male teachers didn't mind. -rolls eyes-
> 
> But it is awful the double standards played in socity.



There's so much ass that can be spilling out of a pair of shorts. xD Unless I'm not thinking of the right pair of shorts.

Imo, it's only really a sanitation problem if shorts are short enough for vaginal fluids or poop to be coming out, which I don't think I've ever seen. xD



Bearica said:


> Vaginal discharge is secretions from the vagina of clear mucus. It's normal and nothing to worry about unless it's oddly colored, which is usually a sign of an infection.



Discharge can be clear or cloudy, but as long as it's like a clear or cloudy white it's fine. The consistency and color of cervical mucus is dependent on how fertile your cervix is. It's good to learn to track fertile cycles as a necessary precaution of avoiding pregnancy.

But if the discharge is really yellow (pale yellow is normal), green, or some other odd color AND it has an bad odor or smells like bread, you have an infection and should go see the doctor.


----------



## Bearica

Leanne said:


> Can I, um, ask about a masturbation here? It is so embarrassing to talk about this for me but I prefer to ask here than anywhere else.
> 
> I discovered how to do it when I was 6 (but I didn't know what it was until two years ago...), and it's not like I have done it every day ever since but more like a few times a month at most. My question is, is it true that doing it too much can reduce how much you enjoy real sex later on? I don't know about boys, but it is a bit "trendy" to talk about these things in my school and all the girls say that masturbating too much (how much would be "too much"?) will later ruin sex when you actually start doing it.


Masturbating often definitely doesn't make you enjoy sex later on any less. Masturbating is a good way to become familiar with your body and to learn what makes you feel good vs what makes you feel bad - so if anything, I say masturbating makes sex more enjoyable once you get around to it.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Leanne said:


> Can I, um, ask about a masturbation here? It is so embarrassing to talk about this for me but I prefer to ask here than anywhere else.
> 
> I discovered how to do it when I was 6 (but I didn't know what it was until two years ago...), and it's not like I have done it every day ever since but more like a few times a month at most. My question is, is it true that doing it too much can reduce how much you enjoy real sex later on? I don't know about boys, but it is a bit "trendy" to talk about these things in my school and all the girls say that masturbating too much (how much would be "too much"?) will later ruin sex when you actually start doing it.
> 
> I'm so so so sorry if this sounds ignorant. In my school there's no actual sex ed class but rather they dedicate one week of schooling to just that. The person who gave that class was very mean and I didn't dare ask questions, and I'd ask my parents but I feel too embarrassed to tell them I masturbate even when I know they wouldn't have a problem with it.



If anything it would make it better, because you know exactly what makes you happy and what parts of your body are more sensitive than others and what turns you on and that sort of stuff, because it really varies from person to person.


----------



## Cariad

My brother has had erections from looking at fepreight trains... Does he need help, he gets turned on by trains.


----------



## aetherene

Bearica said:


> Masturbating often definitely doesn't make you enjoy sex later on any less. Masturbating is a good way to become familiar with your body and to learn what makes you feel good vs what makes you feel bad - so if anything, I say masturbating makes sex more enjoyable once you get around to it.



THISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHIS.

The more you know your body and what you like, the better the sex will be. Cause then you can guide your partner into doing it the way you like and you'll enjoy sex better that way.

And on that note, also, don't worry about having an orgasm. It's all about the ride rather than the finish line.


----------



## Bearica

MissNoodle said:


> My brother has had erections from looking at fepreight trains... Does he need help, he gets turned on by trains.



It's normal for guys to get erections when not sexually aroused. They can happen from being excited (even in a not sexual way) or relaxed so maybe he just gets really excited about trains. Hormones are weird like that.


----------



## fleaofdeath

Leanne said:


> Can I, um, ask about a masturbation here? It is so embarrassing to talk about this for me but I prefer to ask here than anywhere else.
> 
> I discovered how to do it when I was 6 (but I didn't know what it was until two years ago...), and it's not like I have done it every day ever since but more like a few times a month at most. My question is, is it true that doing it too much can reduce how much you enjoy real sex later on? I don't know about boys, but it is a bit "trendy" to talk about these things in my school and all the girls say that masturbating too much (how much would be "too much"?) will later ruin sex when you actually start doing it.
> 
> I'm so so so sorry if this sounds ignorant. In my school there's no actual sex ed class but rather they dedicate one week of schooling to just that. The person who gave that class was very mean and I didn't dare ask questions, and I'd ask my parents but I feel too embarrassed to tell them I masturbate even when I know they wouldn't have a problem with it.



Let me tell you,  there's no amount of masturbating that can ruin your first time. It does *not* reduce how much enjoyment you get later on. It only helps in the long run, honestly =)


----------



## Princess Weeb

MissNoodle said:


> My brother has had erections from looking at fepreight trains... Does he need help, he gets turned on by trains.



It's definitely different but people are attracted to different things, they can't help it.
As long as his attraction doesn't threaten his health or the wellbeing of someone else, he's fine.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Leanne said:


> Can I, um, ask about a masturbation here? It is so embarrassing to talk about this for me but I prefer to ask here than anywhere else.
> 
> I discovered how to do it when I was 6 (but I didn't know what it was until two years ago...), and it's not like I have done it every day ever since but more like a few times a month at most. My question is, is it true that doing it too much can reduce how much you enjoy real sex later on? I don't know about boys, but it is a bit "trendy" to talk about these things in my school and all the girls say that masturbating too much (how much would be "too much"?) will later ruin sex when you actually start doing it.
> 
> I'm so so so sorry if this sounds ignorant. In my school there's no actual sex ed class but rather they dedicate one week of schooling to just that. The person who gave that class was very mean and I didn't dare ask questions, and I'd ask my parents but I feel too embarrassed to tell them I masturbate even when I know they wouldn't have a problem with it.



This is a perfectly normal question. =3

Masturbation can actually help enjoy sex since you will know what you already like and can guide your partner.
The down side to masturbation, is sometimes the "toys" or items you use can make it impossible for your partner to match up you.
I mean, if you use items that are larger than your partner, then it is possible to not feel as satisfied because they won't be able to "hit" all the right parts that the toy could do.

However, if your partner is inexperienced and isn't very good at pleasing you. It can lead to frustration and often thoughts while having sex, "I can do this better myself."
This just leads to not connecting... which is an important thing to have with a sexual partner.

Also, cliterous stimulation plays a role, too. 
My friends, and things I have read online, did "too much" stimulation, that it was impossible for them to achieve an orgasm by internal vaginal stimulation alone.
Often times, stopping that part of the masturbation allowed them to orgasm with sole internal vaginal play again within a week or so.


----------



## Coni

Leanne said:


> Can I, um, ask about a masturbation here? It is so embarrassing to talk about this for me but I prefer to ask here than anywhere else.
> 
> I discovered how to do it when I was 6 (but I didn't know what it was until two years ago...), and it's not like I have done it every day ever since but more like a few times a month at most. My question is, is it true that doing it too much can reduce how much you enjoy real sex later on? I don't know about boys, but it is a bit "trendy" to talk about these things in my school and all the girls say that masturbating too much (how much would be "too much"?) will later ruin sex when you actually start doing it.
> 
> I'm so so so sorry if this sounds ignorant. In my school there's no actual sex ed class but rather they dedicate one week of schooling to just that. The person who gave that class was very mean and I didn't dare ask questions, and I'd ask my parents but I feel too embarrassed to tell them I masturbate even when I know they wouldn't have a problem with it.




I feel like hugging you right now D: 
Masturbation is good, explore yourself and learn what do you like and what you dont, if you dont know what your body enjoys, how will you teach your significant other to make you feel good? I think its only natural that people masturbate and sex is not at all ruined if you do, in fact I think its better!
Just take the proper caution as in washing your hands so you dont get any infections in the vagina, etc, thats about it really. c:


----------



## Princess Weeb

fallenchaoskitten said:


> Also, cliterous stimulation plays a role, too.
> My friends, and things I have read online, did "too much" stimulation, that it was impossible for them to achieve an orgasm by internal vaginal stimulation alone.
> Often times, stopping that part of the masturbation allowed them to orgasm with sole internal vaginal play again within a week or so.



Most women can't do that though anyway (usually)


----------



## effluo

MissNoodle said:


> My brother has had erections from looking at fepreight trains... Does he need help, he gets turned on by trains.



He could possibly be an objectum sexual as well. Is he only turned on by trains? 

Like the others said as well. He could be turned on for other reasons. There is nothing wrong with him though. 
Everyone is different.


----------



## Bearica

fallenchaoskitten said:


> This is a perfectly normal question. =3
> 
> Masturbation can actually help enjoy sex since you will know what you already like and can guide your partner.
> The down side to masturbation, is sometimes the "toys" or items you use can make it impossible for your partner to match up you.
> I mean, if you use items that are larger than your partner, then it is possible to not feel as satisfied because they won't be able to "hit" all the right parts that the toy could do.
> 
> However, if your partner is inexperienced and isn't very good at pleasing you. It can lead to frustration and often thoughts while having sex, "I can do this better myself."
> This just leads to not connecting... which is an important thing to have with a sexual partner.
> 
> Also, cliterous stimulation plays a role, too.
> My friends, and things I have read online, did "too much" stimulation, that it was impossible for them to achieve an orgasm by internal vaginal stimulation alone.
> Often times, stopping that part of the masturbation allowed them to orgasm with sole internal vaginal play again within a week or so.


Verbal communication with your partner is key - if you want them to do something or change what they're doing then you have to let them know. They can't read your mind!

And not everyone can orgasm just from penetration alone - a lot of people require other stimulation too and that's perfectly normal!


----------



## Cariad

He also gets turned on when he hugs teddys. At least he is more normal than I thought


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

MissNoodle said:


> My brother has had erections from looking at fepreight trains... Does he need help, he gets turned on by trains.



As other users said, it is kinda a hormonal thing...
And if he is going through property, it happens a lot more often.

And also, who knows, maybe looking at the trains fills him with the fantasy of traveling off into some unknown world by train and meeting a beautiful partner where they have love for the first time on a train. Or he just a fantasy in general of trying it on a train just like some people have a fantasy to do it at the movie theater or in the back of a car.


----------



## aetherene

Speaking of masturbation, you shouldn't masturbate with anything you really shouldn't use to put in your vagina. Meaning, don't use the handle of a hairbrush to masturbate with. The reason is because there are ridges or crevices that could hurt you inside and cause you to bleed. Plus, it's not sanitary.

Toys or clean fingers are the best. 

And for lubrication, only use water or lube (lube is preferably). Don't use lotions or cooking oils or vaseline because it will mess with your vagina and it's not fun.


----------



## Bearica

aetherene said:


> Speaking of masturbation, you shouldn't masturbate with anything you really shouldn't use to put in your vagina. Meaning, don't use the handle of a hairbrush to masturbate with. The reason is because there are ridges or crevices that could hurt you inside and cause you to bleed. Plus, it's not sanitary.
> 
> Toys or clean fingers are the best.
> 
> And for lubrication, only use water or lube (lube is preferably). Don't use lotions or cooking oils or vaseline because it will mess with your vagina and it's not fun.



On the subject of lube, *do not* use oil-based lubes for insertion - they can lead to infections and can break down latex. Only use water and silicone based lubes if you're going to use lube.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Bearica said:


> Verbal communication with your partner is key - if you want them to do something or change what they're doing then you have to let them know. They can't read your mind!
> 
> And not everyone can orgasm just from penetration alone - a lot of people require other stimulation too and that's perfectly normal!



Very good points. =3

Verbal is key...
And starting out is really hard to do... -still a newly wed and new to this type of stuff-
If you are too scared to actually say it starting out, heavier breathing and tightening of hands/arms around the person can give queues that is what you like. But sooner or later, you'll have to help each other out for you both to enjoy the experience fully.

There are medical... physical and psychology that can prevent people from feeling pleasure through penetration. Not just orgasm, but pleasure at all. 
If it is a no pleasure at all instance, I recommend seeing a professional doctor to make sure nothing is actually wrong... since there is a list of things that can be treated with some medication or though-reworking to make the experience better.


----------



## Cardbored

Masturbating can lead to depression/low self-esteem and make you less energetic, and your expectations of women can be ruined by porn. It's not totally a bad thing though, but keep these things in mind.


----------



## aetherene

Bearica said:


> On the subject of lube, *do not* use oil-based lubes for insertion - they can lead to infections and can break down latex. Only use water and silicone based lubes if you're going to use lube.



Oil based lube is only best for guys if they want to masturbate.

For ladies, water based and silicone based are the best, I agree. It's good for sex and masturbation.


----------



## Jas0n

I'm quite impressed with how mature this has been so far. Keep it up guys.

I'm a bisexual man in a gay relationship so if anyone would like advice from that side of the spectrum feel free to let me know.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

aetherene said:


> Speaking of masturbation, you shouldn't masturbate with anything you really shouldn't use to put in your vagina. Meaning, don't use the handle of a hairbrush to masturbate with. The reason is because there are ridges or crevices that could hurt you inside and cause you to bleed. Plus, it's not sanitary.
> 
> Toys or clean fingers are the best.
> 
> And for lubrication, only use water or lube (lube is preferably). Don't use lotions or cooking oils or vaseline because it will mess with your vagina and it's not fun.





Bearica said:


> On the subject of lube, *do not* use oil-based lubes for insertion - they can lead to infections and can break down latex. Only use water and silicone based lubes if you're going to use lube.



I have to slightly disagree here...
Coming from a person with a thinning vaginal wall and who literally suffers through sex a lot... I have gained a lot of knowledge with lube and how it feels. XP

Oil is actually really nice... It helps more than water based when it comes to ease and doesn't cause as big a mess.
I do recommend after sex or play to go pee afterwards. I know, most of the time you don't wanna get up, but it helps.
You peeing will help sterilize as well as push out whatever may have traveled up your pee hole... good way to prevent UTI's.

It is also important to find out if you like cooling or warmth.
Personally, it already feels like I am on fire when having sex, so we use a cooling lube.
My friends on the other hand... like it hot and steamy.
Changing lube based on its "effects" can also help.

But what ever you do NEVER use a silicone based lube...
They are awful... And end up really tacky within a couple mins... and makes it hurt worse than just doing it dry. >.>
My husband and I found that out the hard way while on the honeymoon. >.>


----------



## Leanne

Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!

I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^

I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.


----------



## Bearica

fallenchaoskitten said:


> I have to slightly disagree here...
> Coming from a person with a thinning vaginal wall and who literally suffers through sex a lot... I have gained a lot of knowledge with lube and how it feels. XP
> 
> Oil is actually really nice... It helps more than water based when it comes to ease and doesn't cause as big a mess.
> I do recommend after sex or play to go pee afterwards. I know, most of the time you don't wanna get up, but it helps.
> You peeing will help sterilize as well as push out whatever may have traveled up your pee hole... good way to prevent UTI's.
> 
> It is also important to find out if you like cooling or warmth.
> Personally, it already feels like I am on fire when having sex, so we use a cooling lube.
> My friends on the other hand... like it hot and steamy.
> Changing lube based on its "effects" can also help.
> 
> But what ever you do NEVER use a silicone based lube...
> They are awful... And end up really tacky within a couple mins... and makes it hurt worse than just doing it dry. >.>
> My husband and I found that out the hard way while on the honeymoon. >.>


I don't have any experience with lube so I'm just basing off of what I've read - every body is different and what may work for someone may not work for someone else.
I just know that oil-based lubes aren't recommended for penetration since they can leave a coating inside the lady bits that can lead to infections.


----------



## aetherene

fallenchaoskitten said:


> I have to slightly disagree here...
> Coming from a person with a thinning vaginal wall and who literally suffers through sex a lot... I have gained a lot of knowledge with lube and how it feels. XP
> 
> Oil is actually really nice... It helps more than water based when it comes to ease and doesn't cause as big a mess.
> I do recommend after sex or play to go pee afterwards. I know, most of the time you don't wanna get up, but it helps.
> You peeing will help sterilize as well as push out whatever may have traveled up your pee hole... good way to prevent UTI's.
> 
> It is also important to find out if you like cooling or warmth.
> Personally, it already feels like I am on fire when having sex, so we use a cooling lube.
> My friends on the other hand... like it hot and steamy.
> Changing lube based on its "effects" can also help.
> 
> But what ever you do NEVER use a silicone based lube...
> They are awful... And end up really tacky within a couple mins... and makes it hurt worse than just doing it dry. >.>
> My husband and I found that out the hard way while on the honeymoon. >.>



Peeing after sex is very important.

I don't like the cooling or warm lubes/condoms. Very unsettling and it does bad things to my body. I think it's the chemicals.

I don't like water based lube because they don't last very long. They need to be reapplied after a certain period of time. And then they get sticky after a while. No thank you.

I really like silicone based lube, the really good ones at least like Pink. They last for a while and only a little bit is needed. I really use it cause I usually get very dry after a while.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Leanne said:


> Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!
> 
> I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^
> 
> I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.



Hymen's are easily broken through other activities... riding a bike can even break it.
So, I wouldn't worry too much about that.

It is possible to kind-of break it but not all the way break it.
My husband was pretty rough with foreplay actions before we were married, so we thought it was already broken ((since I did bleed)) but once on the honeymoon, we quickly found out it must not have broken all the way. ^^'

And there is nothing wrong with having toys or not having toys.
It's just important to stay safe and keep things clean to prevent problems.


----------



## Bearica

Leanne said:


> Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!
> 
> I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^
> 
> I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.



Just make sure your first time is safe! Use protection and make sure you're well lubricated otherwise it can be very painful, especially if you've never tried inserting anything. Relaxing is a big key in comfort - if you're tense, penetration will be more difficult and painful. And make sure to lay on some towels or something because you will probably bleed the first time you have sex. Not everyone does but it's pretty common. And make sure your partner is careful and gentle, especially at first.


----------



## aetherene

Leanne said:


> Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!
> 
> I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^
> 
> I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.



Your hymen doesn't get broken. Just stretched out.  Virginity is more of a concept so stretching your hymen a little won't make you lose it. xD

Before I had sex with my boyfriend, we fooled around a lot and I think he stretched my hymen a bit before we actually had sex. It was a lot more comfortable and didn't hurt like many people said it would. But it's your choice. Some stretching may be more comfortable for you when you do have sex for the first time.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Bearica said:


> Just make sure your first time is safe! Use protection and make sure you're well lubricated otherwise it can be very painful, especially if you've never tried inserting anything. Relaxing is a big key in comfort - if you're tense, penetration will be more difficult and painful. And make sure to lay on some towels or something because you will probably bleed the first time you have sex. Not everyone does but it's pretty common. And make sure your partner is careful and gentle, especially at first.



-embarrassed but wants to give tips from personal-
Basically every time I have sex it is like the first time... but even more pain because of a medical problem that is working out ((that I've said a lot so far. XP))

Here is my tips on who to "get past the pain" for first time or any time that is painful
1. foreplay... will relax you and get you ((well if you are a guy, your partner wet))
2. lube ... lots and lots and lots of lube... and if you think you have too much, use more.
and the actual insertions I recommend
3. go in a little, if it hurts, stop and wait a couple seconds for the "walls" to adjust to the new size and "pump" a few times from point back then stop... then go a little further, wait a couple seconds, pump, a little more, etc.

It takes a little longer than just going at it... But you won't be in nearly the amount of pain if you just got to it. XP


----------



## Bearica

Also:
Sex is nothing to be ashamed of (or to shame others because of) - it's perfectly natural. Whether you're in a relationship or not, you should never feel ashamed of having sex. It can be intimidating, especially at first, but it gets better once you learn what you like and dislike and especially if you're open with your partner about these things. Communication is always key!


----------



## Leanne

aetherene said:


> Your hymen doesn't get broken. Just stretched out.  Virginity is more of a concept so stretching your hymen a little won't make you lose it. xD
> 
> Before I had sex with my boyfriend, we fooled around a lot and I think he stretched my hymen a bit before we actually had sex. It was a lot more comfortable and didn't hurt like many people said it would. But it's your choice. Some stretching may be more comfortable for you when you do have sex for the first time.



Oh my god I feel more embarrassed now than when I typed the word masturbation for the first time on this thread. Sorrryyyyy v.v . I don't know much about this, and I don't want to do much googling because my dad monitors my internet usage and I don't want to have him looking at me funnily when he finds out what I tried to google.

I was under the impression the hymen just broke.

I'm so so so sorrryyyyy for my ignorance ^^;;;

I guess if that's the case I will try to use my fingers more and see how it goes. But I need to wait for a day I know I will be completely alone at home hahaha.

Thank you everyone again ^^. I feel much, much better about many things after coming to this thread. I'm really happy I decided to ask my questions and I'm really happy I got responses to everything. ^^



Bearica said:


> Also:
> Sex is nothing to be ashamed of (or to shame others because of) - it's perfectly natural. Whether you're in a relationship or not, you should never feel ashamed of having sex. It can be intimidating, especially at first, but it gets better once you learn what you like and dislike and especially if you're open with your partner about these things. Communication is always key!



I actually grew up in a family where sex is not frowned upon or anything. My parents always told me that if I had any questions, just ask them. But to be honest it feels too embarrassing to bring this to my direct family and that's why I don't. My dad bought my brother his first 'magazine', and everything he had to do was ask. My mom told me to tell her "if I ever need anything" in that context, and I think it's much easier to talk to her than to my dad. I maaaayyy ask her about the egg shaped toys because they make me really curious. I think after this thread I feel like I can talk to her more about this too. ^^ This thread has been pretty encouraging for many things, thank you all!


----------



## Bearica

Leanne said:


> Oh my god I feel more embarrassed now than when I typed the word masturbation for the first time on this thread. Sorrryyyyy v.v . I don't know much about this, and I don't want to do much googling because my dad monitors my internet usage and I don't want to have him looking at me funnily when he finds out what I tried to google.
> 
> I was under the impression the hymen just broke.
> 
> I'm so so so sorrryyyyy for my ignorance ^^;;;
> 
> I guess if that's the case I will try to use my fingers more and see how it goes. But I need to wait for a day I know I will be completely alone at home hahaha.
> 
> Thank you everyone again ^^. I feel much, much better about many things after coming to this thread. I'm really happy I decided to ask my questions and I'm really happy I got responses to everything. ^^



The hymen can rip and stretch but it doesn't really "break". It can be torn through things like sports, horse-back riding, bicycling, any number of activities really - it's not something to really associate with virginity if you ask me. That's more like an emotional thing.
I'm glad you feel better about things though! Knowledge is power.


----------



## aetherene

Leanne said:


> Oh my god I feel more embarrassed now than when I typed the word masturbation for the first time on this thread. Sorrryyyyy v.v . I don't know much about this, and I don't want to do much googling because my dad monitors my internet usage and I don't want to have him looking at me funnily when he finds out what I tried to google.
> 
> I was under the impression the hymen just broke.
> 
> I'm so so so sorrryyyyy for my ignorance ^^;;;
> 
> I guess if that's the case I will try to use my fingers more and see how it goes. But I need to wait for a day I know I will be completely alone at home hahaha.
> 
> Thank you everyone again ^^. I feel much, much better about many things after coming to this thread. I'm really happy I decided to ask my questions and I'm really happy I got responses to everything. ^^



It's totally all right! Someone wrote a hymen guide earlier on page 5 of this thread if you want to read it. 

If you're going to use your fingers, make sure you wash them beforehand so you don't transmit anything unwanted into your vagina.


----------



## Heisenberg

I could literally ask nothing about sex that I didn't already know. That being said I'm more than happy to answer any questions about it, haha. If you prefer a more personal conversation please feel free to PM me and be assured it will be a mature and for lack of a better phrase- strictly business pm. I'm a twenty-one year old college female who is in a long term relationship and currently (not currently currently, lol) having sex on birth control. If you have questions on periods, birth control (especially the pill), or sex in general I'm open for PMs. In addition I've had three partners in my lifetime, two protected with condoms and one protected with pills and lost my virginity at the age of 14. I won't judge you or look at you any differently if you message me- so please feel free. I've helped quite a few people in the past with their questions. I can listen to your dilemmas and offer advice- any type of high school drama; trust me I've been in that position. Also happy to help with the friends-with benefits concept or your questions on female to male promiscuity. You can also ask me on here but again I'm open to personal PMs if you're not comfortable posting publicly. 
It's not a qualification by any sorts but I am graduating in the next few months with a BA in psych and a counseling internship under my belt. ;P


----------



## Princess Weeb

Heisenberg said:


> I could literally ask nothing about sex that I didn't already know. That being said I'm more than happy to answer any questions about it, haha. If you prefer a more personal conversation please feel free to PM me and be assured it will be a mature and for lack of a better phrase- strictly business pm. I'm a twenty-one year old college female who is in a long term relationship and currently (not currently currently, lol) having sex on birth control. If you have questions on periods, birth control (especially the pill), or sex in general I'm open for PMs. In addition I've had three partners in my lifetime, two protected with condoms and one protected with pills and lost my virginity at the age of 14. I won't judge you or look at you any differently if you message me- so please feel free. I've helped quite a few people in the past with their questions. I can listen to your dilemmas and offer advice- any type of high school drama; trust me I've been in that position. Also happy to help with the friends-with benefits concept or your questions on female to male promiscuity. You can also ask me on here but again I'm open to personal PMs if you're not comfortable posting publicly.
> It's not a qualification by any sorts but I am graduating in the next few months with a BA in psych and a counseling internship under my belt. ;P



*(This is kind of an open question but since you mentioned it)*
Assuming you're from somewhere where the legal age is over 14, do you (or anyone else that has had sex underage) regret doing it at all? Would you take it back if you could?
People always go on about how you will regret it if you lose your virginity at such a young age, so would a few months or years to make it legal make that much of a difference?


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Leanne said:


> Oh my god I feel more embarrassed now than when I typed the word masturbation for the first time on this thread. Sorrryyyyy v.v . I don't know much about this, and I don't want to do much googling because my dad monitors my internet usage and I don't want to have him looking at me funnily when he finds out what I tried to google.
> 
> I was under the impression the hymen just broke.
> 
> I'm so so so sorrryyyyy for my ignorance ^^;;;
> 
> I guess if that's the case I will try to use my fingers more and see how it goes. But I need to wait for a day I know I will be completely alone at home hahaha.
> 
> Thank you everyone again ^^. I feel much, much better about many things after coming to this thread. I'm really happy I decided to ask my questions and I'm really happy I got responses to everything. ^^
> 
> 
> 
> I actually grew up in a family where sex is not frowned upon or anything. My parents always told me that if I had any questions, just ask them. But to be honest it feels too embarrassing to bring this to my direct family and that's why I don't. My dad bought my brother his first 'magazine', and everything he had to do was ask. My mom told me to tell her "if I ever need anything" in that context, and I think it's much easier to talk to her than to my dad. I maaaayyy ask her about the egg shaped toys because they make me really curious. I think after this thread I feel like I can talk to her more about this too. ^^ This thread has been pretty encouraging for many things, thank you all!



Don't worry you're not being ignorant. That's just a thing so many people say that I didn't even know it just stretches until the other day. What you're probably better off with for your first sex toy (in my opinion) is a Small vibrator so you can get the feel more of hat actual sex is like and it should be more comfortable for your first time. Just remember to use a lot of lube with a sex toy. 

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also has anyone here covered anal yet?


----------



## Bearica

Melleia said:


> *(This is kind of an open question but since you mentioned it)*
> Assuming you're from somewhere where the legal age is over 14, do you (or anyone else that has had sex underage) regret doing it at all? Would you take it back if you could?
> People always go on about how you will regret it if you lose your virginity at such a young age, so would a few months or years to make it legal make that much of a difference?


Not the person you're quoting but I lost my virginity when I was 15 (right before I turned 16) and I don't regret it. I mean, it wasn't great or anything but I don't think anyone has ever had a fantastic first time haha. I don't talk to the dude anymore and we stopped talking shortly after it happened but there's no real point in regretting it for the long term, since you can't change what happened. It's important to learn what you like and what you dislike - you won't be compatible with everyone.


----------



## aetherene

No one's talked about anal yet.

I've never done it, so I only know from what I've read: use lots of lube and go slow.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

aetherene said:


> No one's talked about anal yet.
> 
> I've never done it, so I only know from what I've read: use lots of lube and go slow.



Also use protection because you're more prone to getting an STD or STI and you can also get pregnant if the guy ejaculates inside you.
Also never go straight from anal to "normal". you can get all sorts of infections that aren't STIs that way.


----------



## Heisenberg

Melleia said:


> *(This is kind of an open question but since you mentioned it)*
> Assuming you're from somewhere where the legal age is over 14, do you (or anyone else that has had sex underage) regret doing it at all? Would you take it back if you could?
> People always go on about how you will regret it if you lose your virginity at such a young age, so would a few months or years to make it legal make that much of a difference?



It can definitely make a huge difference as far as maturity level to be honest. You never truly realize that you're parents were right when they told you that you didn't know diddle about the world at the age of 12-17 until you're an adult. I'm from Texas and it actually wasn't the legal consent of age when I did it and there was a huge, huge huge confrontation between my family and the male who I was with at the time. He was 17 and I 14 and it was kind of a pressure situation but I can't claim that I didn't fully consent to it. He was going to be tried for statutory rape but the charges were later dropped. But we were in our own little world basically. We did practice it safely though, protection was always a must because I wasn't ready to face the consequences of having a baby. But that's the whole shuhbang right there; I wasn't ready to face the consequences of having a baby- and I realize that I shouldn't have done it. We both realized it. But in essence it's a yes and a no to regretting it. The age for me is often embarrassing to admit and I will always wish that I had given myself to my fiance, and he feels the same way; but we grew from our relationships with other people. I went through a lot of strife loosing it at such a young age because I was scared almost every single time after- pregnancy scares and mind games. You worry about not being able to take care of a child if you really messed up. It's not fair to the guy to say I regret it because I did love him at the time (least I'm pretty sure I did), and it was a pretty serious relationship, but in hindsight I would have loved to have given it to my fiance like I said. But because I do have my doubts, I have to say I do regret it even though it helped to make me who I am today.

- - - Post Merge - - -



aetherene said:


> No one's talked about anal yet.
> 
> I've never done it, so I only know from what I've read: use lots of lube and go slow.



Go very, very, very slow. It's difficult to convince your partner of this concept but it's key to a pleasurable experience for the both of you! I'm not a personal fan of it, I will do it because he wants to once in a blue moon but to me it's just the feeling of a bowel movement. To others it's pleasure, and of course you could go into a Freudian research spree on that one. But use tons of lube, your anus doesn't create any natural lubrication because of course it's only designed to push things out! Never use spit, shampoo or any other random products; lubrication is the way to go. I don't suggest "fire and ice" ones or tingly ones because it can make the male lose his erection from feeling numb rather than warm, haha.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Also I'd like to add that it's ok to experiment and use things like fingers and toys on your male partner or if a guy uses this stuff himself. Just because he enjoys it does not make him gay. Since that's where the male version of a G-spot is.


----------



## aetherene

Bearica said:


> Not the person you're quoting but I lost my virginity when I was 15 (right before I turned 16) and I don't regret it. I mean, it wasn't great or anything but I don't think anyone has ever had a fantastic first time haha. I don't talk to the dude anymore and we stopped talking shortly after it happened but there's no real point in regretting it for the long term, since you can't change what happened. *It's important to learn what you like and what you dislike - you won't be compatible with everyone.*



I really believe what I bolded.

Compatibility is a big deal with relationships and sex. Mostly because two people's sex drives or sexual act preferences don't match, then no one is gonna be satisfied sexually, which definitely can be a problem unless a compromise is reached.


----------



## oath2order

Fearthecuteness said:


> Also use protection because you're more prone to getting an STD or STI and you can also get pregnant if the guy ejaculates inside you.
> Also never go straight from anal to "normal". you can get all sorts of infections that aren't STIs that way.



On this note, don't go FROM anal to anywhere.

You can go from "normal" or anywhere else TO anal, but not reverse.



aetherene said:


> No one's talked about anal yet.
> 
> I've never done it, so I only know from what I've read: use lots of lube and go slow.



Yes. I can guarantee that you will need a lot of lube. I'd recommend that you plan for how much you think you'll need, and get more. Trust me.


----------



## Kildor

How does Anal make a woman feel good? There's no parts that give pleasure in the bumhole, so how's that feel for her?


----------



## Fearthecuteness

kildor22 said:


> How does Anal make a woman feel good? There's no parts that give pleasure in the bumhole, so how's that feel for her?



Some woman actually do find it enjoyable.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Another important thing that needs to be stated here is ALWAYS go to the bathroom before AND after sex so you flush away the bacteria. Trust me on this one. You don't want a bladder or kidney infection.


----------



## Bearica

kildor22 said:


> How does Anal make a woman feel good? There's no parts that give pleasure in the bumhole, so how's that feel for her?



I've never personally done anal - but it's something I imagine the woman has to actually WANT to do, instead of just doing it because their partner suggested it. So I guess it's an acquired taste for some? Sorry I couldn't answer this better.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Bearica said:


> I've never personally done anal - but it's something I imagine the woman has to actually WANT to do, instead of just doing it because their partner suggested it. So I guess it's an acquired taste for some? Sorry I couldn't answer this better.



Not true. I've done it for my partner even though I don't enjoy it.


----------



## Heisenberg

kildor22 said:


> How does Anal make a woman feel good? There's no parts that give pleasure in the bumhole, so how's that feel for her?



It helps to simulate the front part of the body at the same time  But really you could ask Freud why if you want some mumbojumbo on it but other than that it just..makes some women feel good. I don't know man, haha. It hasn't felt good for me personally when my partner and I do it so it's really just for him.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Another sort of question idk kinda related

Clingyness?
I get emotionally attached and dependent on people, even those who use me/treat me horribly very very easily, and I find it hard to break away. (Please note by boyfriend treats me like a princess ahah) One of the main reasons I haven't done anything so far (aside from the pregnancy scares thing) is because I'm scared that i would never be able to leave the relationship, and the thought of having more than one sexual partner in my like makes me feel dirty. I think I could put up with it, but I'd hate it.
Any advice?


----------



## Mercedes

Um...so..what does it feel like..? Some of the kids at school talk about how they had sex with their gf/bf, And..about 3 girls are pregnant. (so they say)   So I don't really know...I hope this is appropriate...


----------



## aetherene

But you guys should WANT to do something sexually rather than just do it to please your partner. Because if you're only doing it to please someone, it won't be fun for you. Sex should be fun and feel good for everyone.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Luckypinch said:


> Um...so..what does it feel like..? Some of the kids at school talk about how they had sex with their gf/bf, And..about 3 girls are pregnant. (so they say)   So I don't really know...I hope this is appropriate...



Are they the same age as you? (not being patronising but I was under the impression you were fairly young)

- - - Post Merge - - -

Another sort of question idk kinda related?

Clingyness?
I get emotionally attached and dependent on people, even those who use me/treat me horribly very very easily, and I find it hard to break away. (Please note by boyfriend treats me like a princess ahah) One of the main reasons I haven't done anything so far (aside from the pregnancy scares thing) is because I'm scared that i would never be able to leave the relationship, and the thought of having more than one sexual partner in my like makes me feel dirty. I think I could put up with it, but I'd hate it.
Any advice?


----------



## Bearica

aetherene said:


> But you guys should WANT to do something sexually rather than just do it to please your partner. Because if you're only doing it to please someone, it won't be fun for you. Sex should be fun and feel good for everyone.



^^ This is what I was trying to say haha.

And Luckypinch, it's kind of hard to describe. Sex feels differently for everyone.


----------



## Mercedes

Melleia said:


> Are they the same age as you? (not being patronising but I was under the impression you were fairly young)
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Another sort of question idk kinda related?
> 
> Clingyness?
> I get emotionally attached and dependent on people, even those who use me/treat me horribly very very easily, and I find it hard to break away. (Please note by boyfriend treats me like a princess ahah) One of the main reasons I haven't done anything so far (aside from the pregnancy scares thing) is because I'm scared that i would never be able to leave the relationship, and the thought of having more than one sexual partner in my like makes me feel dirty. I think I could put up with it, but I'd hate it.
> Any advice?


Some are 13/14/15 around that age, I'm 13...


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Luckypinch said:


> Um...so..what does it feel like..? Some of the kids at school talk about how they had sex with their gf/bf, And..about 3 girls are pregnant. (so they say)   So I don't really know...I hope this is appropriate...



This is just something you have to do to figure out for yourself.


----------



## Mercedes

Bearica said:


> ^^ This is what I was trying to say haha.
> 
> And Luckypinch, it's kind of hard to describe. Sex feels differently for everyone.


Ok thank you for the feed back


----------



## Princess Weeb

Luckypinch said:


> Some are 13/14/15 around that age, I'm 13...



Oh gosh
Wow
Okay
15 kind of okay I suppose but 13?

What is the legal age where you live?


----------



## Mercedes

Melleia said:


> Oh gosh
> Wow
> Okay
> 15 kind of okay I suppose but 13?
> 
> What is the legal age where you live?



I don't know, I live in NC... So...


----------



## Heisenberg

aetherene said:


> But you guys should WANT to do something sexually rather than just do it to please your partner. Because if you're only doing it to please someone, it won't be fun for you. Sex should be fun and feel good for everyone.



I _want_ to do I because it pleases him, I just personally don't like the feeling. xD It doesn't harm me because I prepare for it, stay clean and use all precautions.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Luckypinch said:


> Um...so..what does it feel like..? Some of the kids at school talk about how they had sex with their gf/bf, And..about 3 girls are pregnant. (so they say)   So I don't really know...I hope this is appropriate...



I'm always one to say that you should wait until you find your forever partner or at least until you're mentally mature enough for sex. It can't be put better than if you can't deal with the consequences of having a baby then don't have sex. If you do decide to always use protection for you safety and others! 
As far as what it feels like i feels differently for everyone. I found all my partners up until my current one to actually be very, very painful. Something about my fiance and it's just right. So it varies from person to person and from partner to partner.


----------



## Bearica

Luckypinch said:


> I don't know, I live in NC... So...



Neat, I also live in NC! But a lot (a LOT) of teenagers think they're ready for sex when they're really not mature enough to handle it or the consequences yet or they give into peer pressure. If you don't think that you're ready for sex then you probably shouldn't worry too much about what other people are doing, really.


----------



## Mercedes

Heisenberg said:


> I _want_ to do I because it pleases him, I just personally don't like the feeling. xD It doesn't harm me because I prepare for it, stay clean and use all precautions.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I'm always one to say that you should wait until you find your forever partner or at least until you're mentally mature enough for sex. It can't be put better than if you can't deal with the consequences of having a baby then don't have sex. If you do decide to always use protection for you safety and others!
> As far as what it feels like i feels differently for everyone. I found all my partners up until my current one to actually be very, very painful. Something about my fiance and it's just right. So it varies from person to person and from partner to partner.


I quite dislike kids, but, we have not had sex ED yet. What's protection? I don't feel good talking about this with my mother, but she has talked to me about it, not protection though,


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Melleia said:


> Are they the same age as you? (not being patronising but I was under the impression you were fairly young)
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Another sort of question idk kinda related?
> 
> Clingyness?
> I get emotionally attached and dependent on people, even those who use me/treat me horribly very very easily, and I find it hard to break away. (Please note by boyfriend treats me like a princess ahah) One of the main reasons I haven't done anything so far (aside from the pregnancy scares thing) is because I'm scared that i would never be able to leave the relationship, and the thought of having more than one sexual partner in my like makes me feel dirty. I think I could put up with it, but I'd hate it.
> Any advice?



I used to be like you with the getting attached emotionally to people and I will say this. If you're not ready to handle rejection it's best to only have sex with someone you are in a relationship with because otherwise you will not handle it very well. Saying that it might be a good thing for you to get f****d over a few times by people to make you learn to not get so attached to other people but then it might not be a good idea because it could completely ruin your confidence like it did for me. Basically you just have to think of th sex side of it and nothing else but that's a lot easier said then done. 
This is such a tough question because everyone who experiences it deals with it in different ways. Some people don't get over it, some people do. 
All I can say is best of luck and hope someone else can give you better advice.


----------



## Mercedes

Bearica said:


> Neat, I also live in NC! But a lot (a LOT) of teenagers think they're ready for sex when they're really not mature enough to handle it or the consequences yet or they give into peer pressure. If you don't think that you're ready for sex then you probably shouldn't worry too much about what other people are doing, really.


I don't even have my period yet, so I can't get pregnant, (right?) I don't have a boy friend, so I won't be trying sex yet,

Plus I feel to young.


----------



## Bearica

Luckypinch said:


> I quite dislike kids, but, we have not had sex ED yet. What's protection? I don't feel good talking about this with my mother, but she has talked to me about it, not protection though,


There are different kinds of protection - condoms and birth control pills are the most popular, but there are also birth control shots (which both genders can get I believe) and birth control inserts. They pretty much stop you from having kids but you still want to be careful because nothing is 100%. Condoms can tear and birth control can fail.


----------



## Mercedes

Bearica said:


> There are different kinds of protection - condoms and birth control pills are the most popular, but there are also birth control shots (which both genders can get I believe) and birth control inserts. They pretty much stop you from having kids but you still want to be careful because nothing is 100%. Condoms can tear and birth control can fail.


 oh, so would you wanna use all off them? (Quite dumb on this sorry,..)


----------



## Heisenberg

Luckypinch said:


> I quite dislike kids, but, we have not had sex ED yet. What's protection? I don't feel good talking about this with my mother, but she has talked to me about it, not protection though,



Protection is the use of birth control, commonly used is condoms. Other forms on contraceptives (protection), is the birth control pill, the rod or the ring. You have to talk to your doctor about which one would work best for you. Since you don't have your period yet you want to hold off on most of this. You also shouldn't have sex with the first boyfriend you get and immediately, it's not a needed thing in order to have a successful relationship. It does take a certain level of mental maturity before you should consider having sex. And if you don't like kids that's all the more reason to wait! 
Hopefully your school gives you guys sex ed soon, seems like that should have been something to have been addressed sooner. And your body technically isn't ready to have babies before you get your period so no but stranger things have happened. Your period is what causes you to release eggs which are fertilized by your partner: these eggs are released upon the menstruation cycle.


----------



## aetherene

Luckypinch said:


> I quite dislike kids, but, we have not had sex ED yet. What's protection? I don't feel good talking about this with my mother, but she has talked to me about it, not protection though,



If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex. Also, sex is a huge can of worms that should be dealt with appropriately and maturely. If you're not ready for that, then don't do it. Also, become more educated on the subject (but that's why you're here xD). Since you live in NC, the age of legal consent there is 16, so definitely wait until then before deciding to have sex.

Protection is pretty much anything that protects you from unwanted pregnancy and STDs/STIs.

Protection is the barrier method such as condoms and dental dams. (You use dental damns for oral sex, but many don't.) Condoms are very important because not only do they protect against pregnancy, but also from STDs. Birth control pills also prevent pregnancy, but not against STDs. Using both together is best, but all birth control methods are not 100% effective, but it is the best defense we have during sex.


----------



## Bearica

Luckypinch said:


> oh, so would you wanna use all off them? (Quite dumb on this sorry,..)



You always want to use a condom since they can protect you from STDs while the pill and other things can't. If someone is on the pill/shot/insert, then they should only take one of those - but always, always use a condom.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Fearthecuteness said:


> I used to be like you with the getting attached emotionally to people and I will say this. If you're not ready to handle rejection it's best to only have sex with someone you are in a relationship with because otherwise you will not handle it very well. Saying that it might be a good thing for you to get f****d over a few times by people to make you learn to not get so attached to other people but then it might not be a good idea because it could completely ruin your confidence like it did for me. Basically you just have to think of th sex side of it and nothing else but that's a lot easier said then done.
> This is such a tough question because everyone who experiences it deals with it in different ways. Some people don't get over it, some people do.
> All I can say is best of luck and hope someone else can give you better advice.


I'm a very bitter person, and when I finally decide to push someone out of my life I will just hate them forever.
Due to various past friendships and family problems I find it extremely hard to trust people, and I have to admit I have made people who are close to me stop talking to people who have treated me horribly because I can't take it. 
My boyfriend is one of the only people I can trust, and is the person I talk to the most and spend the most time with. I do fully trust him not to do anything horrible to me if we broke up, but I'm still totally unsure. He's never asked me for anything and said he would happily wait like 10 years plus for me to be ready but yeah..
asdohsfh ;~;


----------



## Heisenberg

Luckypinch said:


> oh, so would you wanna use all off them? (Quite dumb on this sorry,..)



Using more than one form of birth control is actually a good thing! Though most people don't find it needed. For example; 
a combination of condom and birth control pill is good, as well as condoms and spermicide which is a lube that kills sperm. You never want to use more than one condom at once because the friction created have a higher chance of breaking the condom. One should be enough, but if it breaks you need to stop, remove and discard the broken condom and fully and safely put on a new one before continuing intercourse. If you're out it's better to stop than to keep going or to be talked into continuing.

- - - Post Merge - - -

But agreed! Condoms help to prevent a lot of diseases and you'd be surprised how many people have them!


----------



## Bearica

aetherene said:


> Since you live in NC, the age of legal consent there is 16, so definitely wait until then before deciding to have sex.


Keep in mind that the legal age of consent in NC is only 16 if your partner is no more than 4 years older than you are. Otherwise it's 18.


----------



## Heisenberg

Another thing is that if the male doesn't know how to put on a condom, he's probably not old enough to be having sex.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Heisenberg said:


> Protection is the use of birth control, commonly used is condoms. Other forms on contraceptives (protection), is the birth control pill, the rod or the ring. You have to talk to your doctor about which one would work best for you. Since you don't have your period yet you want to hold off on most of this. You also shouldn't have sex with the first boyfriend you get and immediately, it's not a needed thing in order to have a successful relationship. It does take a certain level of mental maturity before you should consider having sex. And if you don't like kids that's all the more reason to wait!
> Hopefully your school gives you guys sex ed soon, seems like that should have been something to have been addressed sooner. And your body technically isn't ready to have babies before you get your period so no but stranger things have happened. Your period is what causes you to release eggs which are fertilized by your partner: these eggs are released upon the menstruation cycle.



Did she say she hadn't started her periods yet? (idk but she might have started)

Just a heads up to all you early starters out there, beat 7 years old on Christmas day... (no, I am not joking)

*sigh*


----------



## aetherene

Bearica said:


> Keep in mind that the legal age of consent is only 16 if your partner is no more than 4 years older than you are. Otherwise it's 18.



It's usually 16 or 18 in most states.

We should just say 18 regardless cause by that time, you are pretty much legal in the US.


----------



## Bearica

Heisenberg said:


> Another thing is that if the male doesn't know how to put on a condom, he's probably not old enough to be having sex.



^ This.
Any if you or your partner don't have and can't access condoms - don't have sex. Just don't do it.


----------



## Mercedes

Heisenberg said:


> Protection is the use of birth control, commonly used is condoms. Other forms on contraceptives (protection), is the birth control pill, the rod or the ring. You have to talk to your doctor about which one would work best for you. Since you don't have your period yet you want to hold off on most of this. You also shouldn't have sex with the first boyfriend you get and immediately, it's not a needed thing in order to have a successful relationship. It does take a certain level of mental maturity before you should consider having sex. And if you don't like kids that's all the more reason to wait!
> Hopefully your school gives you guys sex ed soon, seems like that should have been something to have been addressed sooner. And your body technically isn't ready to have babies before you get your period so no but stranger things have happened. Your period is what causes you to release eggs which are fertilized by your partner: these eggs are released upon the menstruation cycle.



Ok thanks! And I have never had a boy friend....So I won't, plus I get quite shy...


----------



## Bearica

Luckypinch said:


> Ok thanks! And I have never had a boy friend....So I won't, plus I get quite shy...



Yeah, it's definitely not something you need to worry about yet. It'll happen once you're ready for it to happen.


----------



## Mercedes

Bearica said:


> ^ This.
> Any if you or your partner don't have and can't access condoms - don't have sex. Just don't do it.


That's true, and I won't I don't wanna have kids,


----------



## Fearthecuteness

If anyone has a really good link about different contraceptions please let me know.


----------



## Bearica

Here's a good link from Planned Parenthood about different types of birth control.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Fearthecuteness said:


> If anyone has a really good link about different contraceptions please let me know.



Has anyone mentioned female condoms yet? I've heard they're pretty great.


----------



## Ashtot

Luckypinch said:


> That's true, and I won't I don't wanna have kids,



If you don't want kids just get fixed=problem solved.


----------



## Heisenberg

Luckypinch said:


> Ok thanks! And I have never had a boy friend....So I won't, plus I get quite shy...



Don't worry, the time will come eventually when you're ready ^^ Don't let anyone pressure you into it, it's you body so be proud of it!


----------



## aetherene

I took a health class in college a couple years ago and when it came to sex, we talked about female condoms and how you put one on. I didn't like the look of them. xD I felt like if I tried it, it wouldn't make me feel sexy at all.


----------



## Bearica

Ashtot said:


> If you don't want kids just get fixed=problem solved.



That's not really a solution to not wanting to have kids at 13 - female sterilization (getting your fallopian tubes tied) is an expensive surgery and is meant to be permanent.


----------



## Mercedes

Ashtot said:


> What do people mean by the "birds and the bees"?





Bearica said:


> That's not really a solution to not wanting to have kids at 13 - female sterilization (getting your fallopian tubes tied) is an expensive surgery and is meant to be permanent.



Yes, that's true, my mother got them clamped though.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Melleia said:


> Has anyone mentioned female condoms yet? I've heard they're pretty great.



I can't comment on this because personally I've never used them.


----------



## oak

During my high school days, we had lots of heterosexual sex talks but they never mentioned gay sex? I mean I figured everything out on my own just fine xD but I just feel like they're leaving out so many students when they just focus on the heterosexual kids. I know when I was 16 I was very confused & I wish my school had been more open with gender & sexuality exploration. I bet if they did that parents would be like "OMGGG UR MAKIN OUR KIDZ GAY" sigh


----------



## aetherene

Ashtot said:


> If you don't want kids just get fixed=problem solved.



A 13 year old can't even get those kinds of surgery done. She's too young.

Women pretty much can start getting hysterectomies or salpingo-oophorectomies when they're around 40 years old and have kids or have none. If a woman is too young, they won't do it because they think she will eventually change her mind on having kids.

My best friend is 22, and she wanted a hysterectomy because she doesn't want kids and she was refused.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

This did make me think about dental dams though. They're something you can use while performing oral on a woman safely without catching STDs and STIs. I could be wrong but I don't think these are even discussed at school.


----------



## Bearica

noahmeow said:


> During my high school days, we had lots of heterosexual sex talks but they never mentioned gay sex? I mean I figured everything out on my own just fine xD but I just feel like they're leaving out so many students when they just focus on the heterosexual kids. I know when I was 16 I was very confused & I wish my school had been more open with gender & sexuality exploration. I bet if they did that parents would be like "OMGGG UR MAKIN OUR KIDZ GAY" sigh


Yeah, I really wish the sex education in the US was better. I never even had sex ed during high school, not that I can recall anyways.


----------



## Gingersnap

I'd just like to pop in and say, as a high school freshman currently (who is in the US), we do have required Sex Ed. courses and my teacher keeps it real. 
We also had a class in 8th grade which educated us pretty well, but in high school they go pretty in depth.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Bearica said:


> Yeah, I really wish the sex education in the US was better. I never even had sex ed during high school, not that I can recall anyways.


In the UK we barely got anything. Absolutely no talk of consent or contraception.

Funnily enough we get the drug and alcohol talks but that is as far as they want to go :")


----------



## aetherene

I went to a Catholic high school and our sex education was pretty much about abstinence and there were stories of people who had sex and regretted it instead of saving their virginity. Health class barely touched down on it at all.

._.


----------



## Bearica

I think we learned sex ed for like 2 days in P.E. during my freshman year but tbh I don't even remember. But then again my high school wasn't the best haha.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Melleia said:


> In the UK we barely got anything. Absolutely no talk of consent or contraception.
> 
> Funnily enough we get the drug and alcohol talks but that is as far as they want to go :")



I remember those drug and alcohol talks. Talk to frank? I'll give him a talking alright. -_-


----------



## Princess Weeb

Bearica said:


> I think we learned sex ed for like 2 days in P.E. during my freshman year but tbh I don't even remember. But then again my high school wasn't the best haha.



We had like one day when I was about 11 on puberty where they shoved (obviously not used) sanitary towels in our faces and 3 lessons in my first year of high school when we could ask our teacher *anything* (I mean anything) about sex but that was it, really.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Fearthecuteness said:


> I remember those drug and alcohol talks. Talk to frank? I'll give him a talking alright. -_-



We had this guy come in and do a presentation about "natural high" and how he gets that good old adrenaline rush off of performing and how doing what we love should constitute for substance abuse.

Funnily enough some people caught him smoking outside after that??

Edit: I found him http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Graham_(singer)


----------



## Bearica

Melleia said:


> We had like one day when I was about 11 on puberty where they shoved (obviously not used) sanitary towels in our faces and 3 lessons in my first year of high school when we could ask our teacher *anything* (I mean anything) about sex but that was it, really.



It makes me mad how there's barely any sex education taught in schools (abstinence doesn't equal sex ed. ugh) yet people fuss about high teenage pregnancy rates. I wonder why that is? *sarcasm*


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Melleia said:


> We had like one day when I was about 11 on puberty where they shoved (obviously not used) sanitary towels in our faces and 3 lessons in my first year of high school when we could ask our teacher *anything* (I mean anything) about sex but that was it, really.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> We had this guy come in and do a presentation about "natural high" and how he gets that good old adrenaline rush off of performing and how doing what we love should constitute for substance abuse.
> 
> Funnily enough some people caught him smoking outside after that??
> 
> Edit: I found him http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Graham_(singer)



Haha I hope he was smoking weed because that would be even better.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Fearthecuteness said:


> Haha I hope he was smoking weed because that would be even better.



he was terrifying
He endorsed underage sex and teen pregnancy as an alternative to drug use :")
(Because he had a kid when he was pretty young or something idk)


----------



## kite

I had one health class during 9th grade, but the teacher was an inappropriate guy. He'd make fun of gay people and stuff (which he got in trouble for after other teachers found out and asked other students to anonymously tell them if they'd ever heard a teacher make inappropriate comments). 

I think we just touched on the general anatomy of genitalia and HIV. Pretty disappointing curriculum since 14 years and older are appropriate ages to be learning about different STDs and symptoms, different types of protection, where you can get protection, etc. Because not only should the students learn about it, but those students can also pass on that information to their other friends who didn't take a health class.

I'm not sure if my high school's take on sexual health has changed since then, but I hope it has within the past years.


----------



## Princess Weeb

kite said:


> I had one health class during 9th grade, but the teacher was an inappropriate guy. He'd make fun of gay people and stuff (which he got in trouble for after other teachers found out and asked other students to anonymously tell them if they'd ever heard a teacher make inappropriate comments). .



Teachers get away with some pretty ridiculous stuff, trust me.


----------



## kite

Melleia said:


> Teachers get away with some pretty ridiculous stuff, trust me.



Oh, I know that very well.


----------



## aetherene

Maybe schools should teach about sex ed the Mean Girls way.

"Don't have sex. Because you will get chlamydia. And die."

I bet that curriculum would be just barely better than what we have now.


----------



## Bearica

aetherene said:


> Maybe schools should teach about sex ed the Mean Girls way.
> 
> "Don't have sex. Because you will get chlamydia. And die."
> 
> I bet that curriculum would be just barely better than what we have now.


That's actually a pretty accurate description of sex ed in most places actually. :'D

Unrelated but this has been fun all, it's about time I get off for now. Have a good day/evening/night/what have you, everyone.


----------



## Princess Weeb

aetherene said:


> Maybe schools should teach about sex ed the Mean Girls way.
> 
> "Don't have sex. Because you will get chlamydia. And die."
> 
> I bet that curriculum would be just barely better than what we have now.



The only genuine teacher I have ever had was my physics teacher. She was incredible. 
She told me that the reason a lot of the sensitive topics are never covered is because a lot of our teachers have had good upbringings and their morals are rather old fashioned so they don't believe topics like these are relevant to young people, or they just simply don't understand them.


----------



## Colour Bandit

Not sure if this has been posted but...

In the UK most counties offer something called a C-Card and they are a godsend to anyone under 25 (the cut-off age varies by county, mine is 25) who need condoms because with this you get them for FREE! Just search "C-Card" and your county and you should find a page which says where the nearest assessor is (e.g. mine was the family planning clinic in Colchester) and where the nearest pharmacy or doctor's surgery is that will accept the card. The system is slightly different in each county, some give you a small card in which you can tick off your preferred condom and lube types or others are a plain key fob. 

I got mine after going to a FP to start on the pill and it has really been useful for me and my bf, either of us can use it but it does have a limit on how many times you can use it- I think mine is 12 times- but you just go back to your assessor to get a new one when you reach that limit.

Examples of the websites:
http://www.essexc-card.co.uk/index.htm (Essex)
http://c-card.areyougettingit.com/Default.aspx (Norfolk)
http://www.ccard-lincolnshire.co.uk/ (Lincolnshire)
Etc.

I hope this will be useful to someone!


----------



## Prof Gallows

aetherene said:


> Maybe schools should teach about sex ed the Mean Girls way.
> 
> "Don't have sex. Because you will get chlamydia. And die."
> 
> I bet that curriculum would be just barely better than what we have now.



It sucks how dense the school system is in regard to that too. You tell a bunch of kids/teenagers not to do something, what are they going to do?

Instead of trying to prevent something they should be educating it. "I'm not telling you to not have sex, but if you do, do it responsibly and know the risks."

But because they don't not only are people being misinformed but they're also experimenting without knowing all the risks involved.


----------



## aetherene

Prof Gallows said:


> It sucks how dense the school system is in regard to that too. You tell a bunch of kids/teenagers not to do something, what are they going to do?
> 
> Instead of trying to prevent something they should be educating it. "I'm not telling you to not have sex, but if you do, do it responsibly and know the risks."
> 
> But because they don't not only are people being misinformed but they're also experimenting without knowing all the risks involved.



That would be the best sex education to have. Especially one where they actually do teach about why it is important to use protection, how to use protection, and what could happen if you don't. It should not be just about abstinence or just about condoms, but really include both sides of it.


----------



## Caius

Remember to keep this safe for work regardless of being mature content.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Talking about schools... I remember my sex ed...

4th grade - movie about hair growing and you will start to bleed ... for no apparent reason. They didn't even say the name of all of it so all the girls were flipping their **** thinking they were going to die. It also said not to smoke or do drugs when pregnant... but it never said HOW you get pregnant... like not even the word sex or intercourse was mentioned in the entire move.
--- Note, that was the girls movie. In high school the girls found out from the guys that they basically watched a porn. Like two adults, naked, having sex. No cartoons ... real people... showing it all.. Double standards?

8th grade - don't have sex because here are all these STD's you can get... again, no mention of what sex is or how to use a condom or even the menstrual cycle

9th grade - ((or whatever grade you took P.E. since it was only reburied 1 year in high school)) - The "Sex Is Great!" lady... seriously, that is what we all called her. She basically talked about how amazing the experience of sex was and then would have a long long long pause and say "... when you're married". That was the entire speaking she did. Nothing about how it works, protection, etc. ... And then a teacher gave us a hand out of the menstrual cycle on 1 sheet of paper... were not allowed to ask questions and it was done.

...
I was lucky in the sense I had a really close online friend ((who I really miss TT^TT)) who was studying to be a psychologist... I was the perfect test subject because the education in my area was awful, home life was awful, and I had been subject to 3 different men stalking me where 1 ended up threatening to kill me, another fled the country for I think killing a guy, and the other was my cousin's friend and he threatened to kill him, and oh a lot of other stuff but won't get into
ANYWAYS
My MALE friend, by the way, was so disgusted by how school taught sex ed, he and his friend decided to teach me.
He sent me links to sites to read about the female anatomy and the male anatomy, talked to me about condoms and how to use them, just different things about sex in general, and actually told me how the menstrual cycle worked... because I was horribly confused. XP
...
And I graduated 5 years ago ((in 2009)) and to my knowledge, the school is still teaching the same way they did.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, I would like to add a neighboring school didn't really touch on STD's at all...
I found this out when I was working at a college bookstore and one of my co-works just graduated and was 18...

... Well I had my first Pap Smear done and she was asking me questions about what they do and what they check for.
I told her about it and all and even said that if you have an STD or think you do, it's easy for them to go ahead and get the swabs to check for infections or diseases. And if it looks like you may have one, your doctor may suggest getting tested.
...
She was terrible confused and asked, "looks like you have one?... you can see and tell?"
I was pretty surprised... I mean, genital warts was the first thing to come to mind as vision seeing.
It was a college bookstore, and the manager was out, so we grabbed the newest updated Medical Dictionary and started looking up STD's.
Nearly all of them had photos, too. Though, normally in the medical books it is the serve cases so I talked to her about how just because you don't have symptoms or it doesn't show, it doesn't mean you don't have or they don't have an STD. Telling her then an example I learned from my nurse mother that sometimes with women who have chlamydia, which treatable, that you won't get symptoms until after "the damage has been done" and possibly made infertile.


...
I mean... Schools and Parents should really cover this stuff more with kids.
They say STD this and STD that... but that was proof there that she knows about STDs but didn't _know _about STDs at all.
After thinking, if my friend didn't teach me, I would be in the same boat.


----------



## yosugay

sex ed in america sucks. they just tell ya not to do it and then in highschool they tell ya stuff you already know and show you pics of STD infected genitals and make you not wanna do it. (this is how my sex ed went seriously.) sex is great, idk why they dont want people to do it. just be smart about it is all.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

yosugay said:


> sex ed in america sucks. they just tell ya not to do it and then in highschool they tell ya stuff you already know and show you pics of STD infected genitals and make you not wanna do it. (this is how my sex ed went seriously.) *sex is great, idk why they dont want people to do it. just be smart about it is all.*



Going to generalize for a second... Of course, there is always a select few that are special but generalizing is easy and simple...
Because at that age, most of them think "they know it all" and aren't ready for the other side effects of sex besides STD's.
Most students would not be able to care for a child properly, heck most people in their 30's don't know how to or are able to support them.
Nor do they fully understand the emotional tole something like sexual activity plays... it is much more than just a physical act. And again, at that age many people are not ready for such an emotional commitment in their life.

... I mean...
I'm sure cocaine is great and amazing and gives you plenty of energy to get **** done, but that doesn't mean you should be doing it even if you are being smart about it.
omg people, before you even start about that reference... it's called a hyperbole... if you don't know what that is look it up.

But it is true that they need to actually teach people who to be _smart about it_.
Protection is a big thing that needs to be taught more... and actually how the body works for crying out loud!


----------



## yosugay

fallenchaoskitten said:


> Going to generalize for a second... Of course, there is always a select few that are special but generalizing is easy and simple...
> Because at that age, most of them think "they know it all" and aren't ready for the other side effects of sex besides STD's.
> Most students would not be able to care for a child properly, heck most people in their 30's don't know how to or are able to support them.
> Nor do they fully understand the emotional tole something like sexual activity plays... it is much more than just a physical act. And again, at that age many people are not ready for such an emotional commitment in their life.
> 
> ... I mean...
> I'm sure cocaine is great and amazing and gives you plenty of energy to get **** done, but that doesn't mean you should be doing it even if you are being smart about it.
> omg people, before you even start about that reference... it's called a hyperbole... if you don't know what that is look it up.
> 
> But it is true that they need to actually teach people who to be _smart about it_.
> Protection is a big thing that needs to be taught more... and actually how the body works for crying out loud!


yeah but what im saying is they treat sex like its a terrible thing to do. it makes people scared and not want to talk to people about it, so they go out and do it behind people's backs without being prepared or protected. i think they need to teach that sex is a natural thing and if people want to do it, be aware of the consequences and stay safe and protected. all they tried to do while i was in school was scare people out of wanting to have sex and thats the wrong way to go about it.


----------



## chillv

I personally feel that the society is genophobic


----------



## yosugay

chillv said:


> I personally feel that the society is genophobic



why do you think that


----------



## Heisenberg

I must have been to a strange elementary school because I got sex ed for the first time at in the third grade.


----------



## oak

Heisenberg said:


> I must have been to a strange elementary school because I got sex ed for the first time at in the third grade.


Me too. I went to a school in Canada so they were actually pretty informative, if you're heterosexual  I had a talk in grade 3, 5, 7 & quite a few times in high school.


----------



## Zanessa

...intercourse scares me..

Just.. the whole thing.. gah..

They did a good job teaching us, because I know I'm not the only one who is just too scared by it to do it..


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

noahmeow said:


> Me too. I went to a school in Canada so they were actually pretty informative, if you're heterosexual  I had a talk in grade 3, 5, 7 & quite a few times in high school.



Gay was almost like a curse word at my school...
It was like the military with "Don't Ask Don't Tell".  ((so glad that is going away now...))
And we had a few gays in our school that I knew of... And a few bi-sexuals.
None of the rest of us were really educated, but I feel bad for them. We were kinda in the same boat but their end was sinking faster. >.>

- - - Post Merge - - -



ZanessaGaily said:


> ...intercourse scares me..
> 
> Just.. the whole thing.. gah..
> 
> They did a good job teaching us, because I know I'm not the only one who is just too scared by it to do it..



I'm tocaphobic, which I think it's the correct term it's been so long, so it was enough to scare me to not have sex and still freak me out. XP

I have an extreme, irrational fear of pregnancy... It use to be so bad, that I couldn't even be within 5 feet of a pregnant woman.
Which really sucked if you go to a school with one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the state and young teachers who are pregnant as well... High school really really sucked on that point...
I am better now tho... I touch a pregnant girls stomach... that was a huge step for me. ^^'
And I know, that's not how you get pregnant... that's part of the "irrational" fear part. XP


----------



## chillv

yosugay said:


> why do you think that



because they like shun children away from anything that has to do with this topic in the means to protect them. However, they are really making it how they are more prone to discovering it in "the unmentionable way".


----------



## Lurrdoc

I feel like the sex ed I received in high school was very basic. They didn't really show how to prevent pregnancy, though, and that scares the heck out of me. My teacher only said to use a condom and how it works.  I do not want to be responsible for an accident so I'd rather just not do it at all. 

Btw, can we ask questions here as well? I have a huge irrational fear of holes in condoms. I am aware of contraceptives, but I would also like this to be something I am aware of. Would putting water into the condom before using it be a good way to check for holes? I'd imagine putting too much water in it would prevent it from being re-applied. Is there a good method to check? :x


----------



## yosugay

Lurrdoc said:


> I feel like the sex ed I received in high school was very basic. They didn't really show how to prevent pregnancy, though, and that scares the heck out of me. My teacher only said to use a condom and how it works.  I do not want to be responsible for an accident so I'd rather just not do it at all.
> 
> Btw, can we ask questions here as well? I have a huge irrational fear of holes in condoms. I am aware of contraceptives, but I would also like this to be something I am aware of. Would putting water into the condom before using it be a good way to check for holes? I'd imagine putting too much water in it would prevent it from being re-applied. Is there a good method to check? :x


ive heard of the water thing. you can do that if you wish. i dont really check condoms, i just trust that they dont have holes in em lol. thinking about it is making me paranoid now lmao


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Lurrdoc said:


> I feel like the sex ed I received in high school was very basic. They didn't really show how to prevent pregnancy, though, and that scares the heck out of me. My teacher only said to use a condom and how it works.  I do not want to be responsible for an accident so I'd rather just not do it at all.
> 
> Btw, can we ask questions here as well? I have a huge irrational fear of holes in condoms. I am aware of contraceptives, but I would also like this to be something I am aware of. Would putting water into the condom before using it be a good way to check for holes? I'd imagine putting too much water in it would prevent it from being re-applied. Is there a good method to check? :x



A sperm is only 55 micrometers ... so a hole would only need to be that big.
The whole water trick wouldn't help find holes that small.
It is best to get trusted brands since off brands are normally made much more cheaply. If you have a big fear, go for the "thicker" condoms. I mean, they really aren't that much thicker. For the female, with lube you can't feel a difference between the condoms. For men it loses some sensitivity... But, to be a little sexist at the moment, if you get to get off every time and I don't, you can stand to loose a little sensitivity. XP


----------



## XTheLancerX

Okay, so I am in a strange predicament. My parents think I am extremely naive when it comes to anything sexual. Any information that has been mentioned in this thread is familiar to me, I know all the terms, I know what a hymen is, etc. (It isn't all from first hand experience though, because I am only a 13 year old guy, 14 in less than a month, and have not had sex) I know more than the average person in my grade (8th), and most of the girls don't even know what a hymen is anyway. (I didn't go around being stupid and asking, okay? A couple of my stupid friends did).

But anyway... My parents haven't given me the talk, (well not really) and I haven't needed it, I learned it just through living through school, and being on the internet. I have been careful though with the information I have... Come across, because I know very well that the internet is full of lies. But a month or so ago... My mom came over to me and asked "Do you remember when I told you that the only way to keep from getting a girl pregnant is to not have sex?" ...Yes mom. I knew that since I was at least 9.

But with age, my body has matured, and masturbation has begun. I am terrified daily if my parents ever figured out that I masturbate, especially because they are a much more sexually-closed kind of type, and aren't very open about the topic. My family, including myself, is Cristian as well, which also backs my fear as I don't know if my parents would get upset or not about finding this out. It doesn't mention anywhere in the Bible anything about masturbation being wrong, but that is beside the point, as I read to keep this topic away from religion and such.

Anyway... Uhmm. Suggestions/similar issues? This is almost making me feel uncomfortable around my family.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Also... once a condom has been unrolled, to do this "little test", it is much harder to put on...
And it will probably lose some of it's lubrication... making it harder as well.
So, if a condom is annoying as hell to put on or takes forever, it is less likely the mood will be kept and you want to actually continue having sex OR you will opt out on a condom... Which never is a good option in my opinion.

- - - Post Merge - - -



X_The_Lancer_X said:


> Okay, so I am in a strange predicament. My parents think I am extremely naive when it comes to anything sexual. Any information that has been mentioned in this thread is familiar to me, I know all the terms, I know what a hymen is, etc. (It isn't all from first hand experience though, because I am only a 13 year old guy, 14 in less than a month, and have not had sex) I know more than the average person in my grade (8th), and most of the girls don't even know what a hymen is anyway. (I didn't go around being stupid and asking, okay? A couple of my stupid friends did).
> 
> But anyway... My parents haven't given me the talk, (well not really) and I haven't needed it, I learned it just through living through school, and being on the internet. I have been careful though with the information I have... Come across, because I know very well that the internet is full of lies. But a month or so ago... My mom came over to me and asked "Do you remember when I told you that the only way to keep from getting a girl pregnant is to not have sex?" ...Yes mom. I knew that since I was at least 9.
> 
> But with age, my body has matured, and masturbation has begun. I am terrified daily if my parents ever figured out that I masturbate, especially because they are a much more sexually-closed kind of type, and aren't very open about the topic. My family, including myself, is Cristian as well, which also backs my fear as I don't know if my parents would get upset or not about finding this out. It doesn't mention anywhere in the Bible anything about masturbation being wrong, but that is beside the point, as I read to keep this topic away from religion and such.
> 
> Anyway... Uhmm. Suggestions/similar issues? This is almost making me feel uncomfortable around my family.


Since you are younger, it isn't surprising your parents are this way.
Heck, many parents still give the "no sex" to people who have already graduate college and bought their own home. 

There are ways to discretely masturbate... Shower is on instance.
I personally don't masturbate so I can't give you really any tips...
I'm a female and I am just absolutely disgusted by the female body... I can't even imagine... If I was born male, I would have had to be gay. o.o
But, to each their own really... I just have irrational basis against the female anatomy for some reason is all.

And my mom tried to give me "the talk" or a hint to it twice...
Once was right after the Scary Movie series came out and I watched the first one that had an oral sex scene and she wanted to "discuss" what I saw... I bascially said I know mom and left the room. XP
Second time was in high school when I got a "mature" boyfriend and she wanted to say the whole pregnant stuff again. I kinda just let her talk and ignored her... I was an awful child. ^^'

Anyways, look into ways to discretely masturbate for now... I think if you try to be forward with them about your interest by your description of your parents and your age, they may take it the wrong way.


----------



## aetherene

If you definitely don't want holes in your condoms never put them in a wallet or a pocket or leave them in your car. Exposure to heat will make condoms brittle and they will definitely rip. I would also check the condom for any obvious holes before and after you roll it on. Trusted brands are definitely better because they are FDA regulated medical devices.

If anyone is interested in how condoms are made, or well the Trojan ones at least, check out this video. It's pretty cool. (And nothing is inappropriate on there. Totally safe for work.)


----------



## yosugay

aetherene said:


> If you definitely don't want holes in your condoms never put them in a wallet or a pocket or leave them in your car. Exposure to heat will make condoms brittle and they will definitely rip. I would also check the condom for any obvious holes before and after you roll it on. Trusted brands are definitely better because they are FDA regulated medical devices.
> 
> If anyone is interested in how condoms are made, or well the Trojan ones at least, check out this video. It's pretty cool. (And nothing is inappropriate on there. Totally safe for work.)


thanks for sharing this c: i use this brand so i trust them the most lol


----------



## Zeiro

I would be extremely careful about the types of condoms you use and buy, especially ones with artificial lubricants such as Trojan Fire & Ice. Trojan Fire & Ice contain mentol, chili pepper extract, and nonoxynol-9 (a chemical that can cause yeast infections). None of these are listed on the ingredients on the box. They are incredibly unsafe. Customer reports say that they can cause extremely painful burning sensations, sometimes lasting for hours. Trojan has gotten in serious trouble with the FDA for this.


----------



## yosugay

Reizo said:


> I would be extremely careful about the types of condoms you use and buy, especially ones with artificial lubricants such as Trojan Fire & Ice. Trojan Fire & Ice contain mentol, chili pepper extract, and nonoxynol-9 (a chemical that can cause yeast infections). None of these are listed on the ingredients on the box. They are incredibly unsafe. Customer reports say that they can cause extremely painful burning sensations, sometimes lasting for hours. Trojan has gotten in serious trouble with the FDA for this.


yeah i heard about those. i never liked the sound of em either

- - - Post Merge - - -

fire and ice just sounds weird


----------



## SockHead

Reizo said:


> I would be extremely careful about the types of condoms you use and buy, especially ones with artificial lubricants such as Trojan Fire & Ice. Trojan Fire & Ice contain mentol, chili pepper extract, and nonoxynol-9 (a chemical that can cause yeast infections). None of these are listed on the ingredients on the box. They are incredibly unsafe. Customer reports say that they can cause extremely painful burning sensations, sometimes lasting for hours. Trojan has gotten in serious trouble with the FDA for this.



thank you for the warning <3


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Reizo said:


> I would be extremely careful about the types of condoms you use and buy, especially ones with artificial lubricants such as Trojan Fire & Ice. Trojan Fire & Ice contain mentol, chili pepper extract, and nonoxynol-9 (a chemical that can cause yeast infections). None of these are listed on the ingredients on the box. They are incredibly unsafe. Customer reports say that they can cause extremely painful burning sensations, sometimes lasting for hours. Trojan has gotten in serious trouble with the FDA for this.



chili pepper extract? seriously?
I hate warming sensations anyways so when we got the box of "verities" that had those in it, we just threw those away. XP


----------



## Lurrdoc

yosugay said:
			
		

> ive heard of the water thing. you can do that if you wish. i dont really check condoms, i just trust that they dont have holes in em lol. thinking about it is making me paranoid now lmao



I just might try it out sometime to see how it works out. No, don't be like me. LOL, like i said it's irrational at my stage. 



fallenchaoskitten said:


> A sperm is only 55 micrometers ... so a hole would only need to be that big.
> The whole water trick wouldn't help find holes that small.
> It is best to get trusted brands since off brands are normally made much more cheaply. If you have a big fear, go for the "thicker" condoms. I mean, they really aren't that much thicker. For the female, with lube you can't feel a difference between the condoms. For men it loses some sensitivity... But, to be a little sexist at the moment, if you get to get off every time and I don't, you can stand to loose a little sensitivity. XP
> 
> Also... once a condom has been unrolled, to do this "little test", it is much harder to put on...
> And it will probably lose some of it's lubrication... making it harder as well.
> So, if a condom is annoying as hell to put on or takes forever, it is less likely the mood will be kept and you want to actually continue having sex OR you will opt out on a condom... Which never is a good option in my opinion.



Thanks. I'll keep the thicker condoms in mind! Trusted brands is prob the only ones I'd buy. It's worth the money, haha. Lmao @ your sensitivity comment. x] I agree.


----------



## Caius

Guys, I said it before and I'll say it again. Keep it *work safe.* There should be no How To's here, no advocation, just education. This is a really, really touchy subject as it is. Please, try and understand if you want the thread to stay open.


----------



## yosugay

fallenchaoskitten said:


> chili pepper extract? seriously?
> I hate warming sensations anyways so when we got the box of "verities" that had those in it, we just threw those away. XP



right? that already sounds wrong. its scary that they still sell em too


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Zr388 said:


> Guys, I said it before and I'll say it again. Keep it *work safe.* There should be no How To's here, no advocation, just education. This is a really, really touchy subject as it is. Please, try and understand if you want the thread to stay open.



Sorry off topic... but question...

I don't want to sound really stupid... But I don't really understand the keep it work safe. o.o
... since I think "workplace environment safe discussion" when I read that and really, any sexual discussion made in a workplace other than an organized one made by the employer with a speaker only speaking ((which never been to so not sure what is said?)) can lead to a sexual harassment lawsuit. Leading me to think none would be safe in the workplace?
I am legitimately confused and don't want to go into the not safe topics. ^^'


----------



## Caius

Basically keep it purely professional-level educational.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Zr388 said:


> Basically keep it purely professional-level educational.


Makes sense. Said that way makes me thing of "Well, a doctor would say this and would never say that" kind of thing when it comes to facts and answering questions. ^-^
Thanks for clarifying for me!

Now back onto topic. ^-^


----------



## SockHead

Zr388 said:


> Basically keep it purely professional-level educational.



SFW means no nudes


----------



## radical6

tbh my sex education was terrible. it taught me nothing and it was a waste of my time. i learned more about my body online then i learned in class. like people didnt know the difference between cramps and real serious pain in the stomach area. they passed it off as a cramp and later had to go to the hospital.. they turned out to have a medical problem. sex ed never teaches us about our body. now i know that its not a cramp if it hurts in another area after looking about it online. and when teachers did speak about rape, they were laughed at later. i was in 5th grade and one of our 5th grade teachers shared her story of rape and sexual abuse. later the boys laughed at it and made a rape joke about her. i wish they would go more in depth about rape. the boys didnt understand the message after hearing such a story, and i mostly blame it on society for making light of it. they knew what rape was by that age and they didnt care. sex ed needs to teach children not to rape, and i hope they jam it in their heads. like i wasnt even in middle school yet and i would hear comments from classmates who wished to rape a girl because she "has a nice booty" and.. it just makes me so sad. our sex education has taught us nothing. kids in my own class dont know anything about their bodies and cant even name the parts. its really sad.

i hope this is on topic??? idk


----------



## undadac




----------



## Colour Bandit

Colour Bandit said:


> Not sure if this has been posted but...
> 
> In the UK most counties offer something called a C-Card and they are a godsend to anyone under 25 (the cut-off age varies by county, mine is 25) who need condoms because with this you get them for FREE! Just search "C-Card" and your county and you should find a page which says where the nearest assessor is (e.g. mine was the family planning clinic in Colchester) and where the nearest pharmacy or doctor's surgery is that will accept the card. The system is slightly different in each county, some give you a small card in which you can tick off your preferred condom and lube types or others are a plain key fob.
> 
> I got mine after going to a FP to start on the pill and it has really been useful for me and my bf, either of us can use it but it does have a limit on how many times you can use it- I think mine is 12 times- but you just go back to your assessor to get a new one when you reach that limit.
> 
> Examples of the websites:
> http://www.essexc-card.co.uk/index.htm (Essex)
> http://c-card.areyougettingit.com/Default.aspx (Norfolk)
> http://www.ccard-lincolnshire.co.uk/ (Lincolnshire)
> Etc.
> 
> I hope this will be useful to someone!


Just posting this again as it seemed to get lost amongst the sex ed conversation...


----------



## N64dude

Since i live in the UK i was taught sex education in primary school. I know there are consequences for having sex.


----------



## Remakine

Sex Education was not required where I live, but growing up around people who were constantly influenced into doing drugs, having sex, and various amounts of other things that were considered taboo at 15...I learned about sex really easy. Sex is a thing that I've never really understood the appeal of..and still don't.

Also, discussing the sex subject, how do you feel about people are very honest and blunt about their sex life?


----------



## Lauren

The only advice I could give is not to just use condoms! The best form of contraception I have ever used and I love it, the contraceptive implant. 3 years you're covered and with the pill I forgot every day, but the implant is good for people like me, who forget, it did increase apitite though, I was a size 6 uk now a size 10/12 but I'd rather put weight on then have a baby! Safe sex is good sex.

- - - Post Merge - - -



N64dude said:


> Since i live in the UK i was taught sex education in primary school. I know there are consequences for having sex.



I was taught in primary school too! We had to draw and all that lark. Obviously we wasn't doing anything but getting the information in early can help! Not that it's helped us at all, haven't we got the most underage pregnancies?

- - - Post Merge - - -



fallenchaoskitten said:


> Sorry off topic... but question...
> 
> I don't want to sound really stupid... But I don't really understand the keep it work safe. o.o
> ... since I think "workplace environment safe discussion" when I read that and really, any sexual discussion made in a workplace other than an organized one made by the employer with a speaker only speaking ((which never been to so not sure what is said?)) can lead to a sexual harassment lawsuit. Leading me to think none would be safe in the workplace?
> I am legitimately confused and don't want to go into the not safe topics. ^^'



Basically keep it as Zr said, strictly education, with this being a forum with all ages, kids can stumble across this and if someone's talking graphically or talking about what they do, kids of ages 13 and even lower would be able to see ^.^ it's just keeping things appropriate so if they do read it, they can be educated for the future ^.^


----------



## Jake

how do u take ur virginity back
(asking for a friend)


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## Nerd House

Jake. said:


> how do u take ur virginity back
> (asking for a friend)



*Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse.*
Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginity

Once you have sex, that's it. You're never a virgin again. It's not something you can go buy at a store or win in a lottery. This is why some cultures teach people to save themselves for someone they love.

*Your friend can do this though:*
An individual can claim to be a born-again virgin, secondary virgin or renewed virgin if, after having engaged in sexual intercourse, s/he makes a commitment not to be sexually active until marriage (or some other point in the future, or indefinitely), whether for religious, moral or practical reasons.
Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Born-again_virgin


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Jake. said:


> how do u take ur virginity back
> (asking for a friend)



Adol the Red is correct their statements.

But if your friend has a lot of money and wants to go to the extreme, there is a surgery that can "restore" the hymen to a state where it has never been touched. ((given that this is a female we are talking about?))
I'm sorry that I cannot give the name of it or even how to search for the name of it.
I just recall it being on the news a long time ago. Probably 10 or so years ago really. If they could do it 10 years ago, I am sure they can still do it in today's world and better than they could back then. Sorry I can't be much further help than that really.

Born again virgins is very common in this day-n-age.
I have met several people who call themselves that, so it isn't something that is "strange" or "uncommon."
I am familiar with some rape victims that use that term since their virginity was stolen from them.

If your friend is female ((which I'm just assuming since a male being a virgin or not doesn't really have much difference physically?)) and is more worried about tightness that is associated with being a virgin than actually being a virgin.
There is an "experience" that you can "practice" ((I use quotes since I really won't call it that but best way to describe it to someone)) to help build up your muscles on the inside of your body.
It can help with tightness ((which really the vagina can go back to it's normal size almost all the time without the "looseness" people fear... I mean it can push a baby out then go back down, it doesn't stay that big. o.o)) and it is said to improve orgasms.
It is called *Kegel Exercises*. 
If that is part of what your friend is worried about, it maybe something they would like to look into. Or if anyone else is unaware of, they can ask and I'm sure one of us can answer questions on it.


----------



## staticistic1114

Fearthecuteness said:


> This is a tough one I'd say because there is no specific answer to that. When you feel like you're ready is an important one because of course if you don't feel ready you may regret it. There's no specific age for that because sometimes people in their 20s aren't ready just yet. Some people are never ready and will never have sex because it just doesn't interest them. Another important thing about your first time is staying safe. It's important to know how to use protection properly and making sure that for a girl's first time it doesn't hurt and that you take it slow. A lot of people think it's meant to hurt for girls their first time but it's not. What would also help with girls is masterbating to:
> A: Make sure she's loosened up to make it easier for her first time
> B: Know what she likes and doesn't like
> I wouldn't say this is something girls HAVE to do but I'd say it makes it easier for both parts in this. If you both know what you like you can discuss with each other and guide each other so it makes it more enjoyable and will help the girl produce more natural lubricant, shall we say? So it will always be better to be with someone who will be understanding and take it slow with you.
> Think I've covered everything about that question. xD



yeah well I've been doing that actually (my bf encouraged me to) >//> I'm always afraid "it might hurt" but then again, it just depends on the amount of.. whiteness xD well uhh.. I've been with my bf for like, 3 years now and I told him we wont do it until we're married (if we get married anyways) so was that right? Or maybe it bothered him..?


----------



## ACNiko

staticistic1114 said:


> I've been with my bf for like, 3 years now and I told him we wont do it until we're married (if we get married anyways) so was that right? Or maybe it bothered him..?


 Many people think that the whole "wait-until-marriage-thing" is weird, but I see absolutely no problem with that. I mean, how important is sex really in a relationship? If it's true love, you could wait until marriage because that just proves that you're in love with each others personalities - not just each others bodies. That's what I think anyways.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

staticistic1114 said:


> yeah well I've been doing that actually (my bf encouraged me to) >//> I'm always afraid "it might hurt" but then again, it just depends on the amount of.. whiteness xD well uhh.. I've been with my bf for like, 3 years now and I told him we wont do it until we're married (if we get married anyways) so was that right? Or maybe it bothered him..?



If you aren't ready, then he shouldn't force you into thinking you are.
If you want to wait for marriage, there is nothing wrong with that. I always like the thought of waiting for marriage and after a horrible thing that happened to my in the 9th grade, which I won't get into, I decided I AM going to wait for marriage.

Being ready has absolutely NOTHING to do with how long you have been with someone.
It is the same way with "labeling an age" as Fearthecuteness kind of touched on in the beginning.
It is about YOU being ready ... not they are ready so I need to be.
My husband and I got married on our 3rd year anniversary. So, it is possible if you are dating someone for a long time and NOT have sex for whatever reason you choose. It can be either waiting for marriage like myself or that you aren't ready for that big step.

I will warn, if you wait for marriage and people find out, you get a lot of ****. Will not lie. I can tell ya all about it if anyone wants to ask or even send me a PM.
But it does say something about yourself and how you value yourself, remember that.

Being about to say "no" when you aren't ready, even if you aren't waiting for marriage, shows that you value yourself enough and respect yourself enough to not allow others to pressure you into something you will regret.

Sometimes not being ready does hurt a partner's pride, but they need to kinda "get over it." If they truly love and care for you, then they will respect your decision. Communication is entirely key in any type of relationship, so it is important to talk to your partner about how you feel about things, how you think, and your fears. If you don't, it can lead to a "shut down" or "putting up a wall" that leads to being disconnected. Which is an awful feeling for both parties.




As for the pain...
Myself and all my friends had pain their first time no matter what they did.
BUT If you are smart about it and take the time to actually learn about each other and go slow, the experience isn't that awful. I promise.
A lot of times... I guess... the best way to describe it is the pain is there but the pleasure is worth the pain? Even if it really isn't that good... since it is your first time.
The most important thing to do is relax. Which is easier said than done. Since when you are stressed, you will clench your muscles making it very difficult for you and your partner.
It is also common to feel pain the first FEW times you have sex. Not just the first time. But that is why it is important to have someone you can actually communicate with since sometimes there will be a spot that will give a painful feel and then there are spots that give the desired feeling of pleasure. You both just have to learn each other's bodies to make sure not to get those spots that may cause pain and hit the ones that cause pleasure.
Of course, if there is a lot of intense pain, it could be a sign of different medical problem and it is best to seek the advice of a medical professional. Something as common and easy to treat as a Yeast Infection can cause a lot of discomfort and pain with intercourse and many people don't know the "warning signs" to know they have one.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Jake. said:


> how do u take ur virginity back
> (asking for a friend)



I think one thing people missed on this (I could be wrong) is if you don't have sex for years (not sure how many. Sorry) your hymen will go back to how it is when you're a virgin.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

ACNiko said:


> Many people think that the whole "wait-until-marriage-thing" is weird, but I see absolutely no problem with that. I mean, how important is sex really in a relationship? If it's true love, you could wait until marriage because that just proves that you're in love with each others personalities - not just each others bodies. That's what I think anyways.



You make a really good point.
Several people try to use the metaphor of "test driving a car"
I hate tell you but when you test drive a car, you don't floor it and go 150mph on a ****ing test drive. >.>
The _relationship_ is the test drive. Not the sex.
If you base a relationship on how sex is, then I hate to burst your bubble but someday you or them will get old or sick or something can happen where sex isn't an opinion now or even for a long time.
If you bought the car because it can go 150mph and it is amazing when it is at that! When the car starts to break down and it's hard to get over 75mph, you will lose interest and want to go get a new car.
I hope that makes sense.

Be in a relationship for each other and each others personalities.
Sure, "sexual compatibility" is important. But if you are with someone you can talk to and works with you on things out outside of the bedroom, they are likely to do the same in the bedroom.
That is what you need to look for in a long term partner to maintain a healthy relationship.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Fearthecuteness said:


> I think one thing people missed on this (I could be wrong) is if you don't have sex for years (not sure how many. Sorry) your hymen will go back to how it is when you're a virgin.



It is rumored to be 7.
It is something that is very much debated on with medical communities between website to website.
Many say 7-10 years and many others say it will never go back to the way it was before it was "broken."
So, it is not much a fact as it is a rumor.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> You make a really good point.
> Several people try to use the metaphor of "test driving a car"
> I hate tell you but when you test drive a car, you don't floor it and go 150mph on a ****ing test drive. >.>
> The _relationship_ is the test drive. Not the sex.
> If you base a relationship on how sex is, then I hate to burst your bubble but someday you or them will get old or sick or something can happen where sex isn't an opinion now or even for a long time.
> If you bought the car because it can go 150mph and it is amazing when it is at that! When the car starts to break down and it's hard to get over 75mph, you will lose interest and want to go get a new car.
> I hope that makes sense.
> 
> Be in a relationship for each other and each others personalities.
> Sure, "sexual compatibility" is important. But if you are with someone you can talk to and works with you on things out outside of the bedroom, they are likely to do the same in the bedroom.
> That is what you need to look for in a long term partner to maintain a healthy relationship.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> It is rumored to be 7.
> It is something that is very much debated on with medical communities between website to website.
> Many say 7-10 years and many others say it will never go back to the way it was before it was "broken."
> So, it is not much a fact as it is a rumor.



Oh really? That's what someone I know got told by the doctors when it was hurting down there.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> Oh really? That's what someone I know got told by the doctors when it was hurting down there.



Yup. Really.
I guess the way I can try to explain what the doctor said into what I am meaning is...
If you use to run a mile every day and then suddenly just stop for several years. The first time you try and run that mile again can be a lot hard than it was the last time and your sides will probably hurt.
...
Maybe an exercise isn't a good one... stretching will probably be a better example. XP
If you use to be able to do the splits but then completely stopped stretching for several years. If you just randomly get the feeling to do the splits again after not even stretching for 5 years, it's probably gonna hurt. >.>

If you don't do something for awhile, the body losses it's limberness. 
It doesn't mean the hymen "grew back."
The body wasn't "stretching" for a long time and it lost some of it's limberness. Meaning it had to start learning to stretch again.
... Does that make sense?


But, again, that is why I said it is a debated topic with reliable sources saying it can and others saying it can't.


----------



## Nerd House

ACNiko said:


> Many people think that the whole "wait-until-marriage-thing" is weird, but I see absolutely no problem with that. I mean, how important is sex really in a relationship? If it's true love, you could wait until marriage because that just proves that you're in love with each others personalities - not just each others bodies. That's what I think anyways.



"You gotta test drive the car before you buy it"

That's what I get when I ask people who they dont wait until marriage. It makes sense, I suppose. Even if you love the person 100%, sex and physical attraction are still _*very*_ important to any relationship. You don't want to be with someone for years and then get married only to find that the sex is very bad. Some people can't "improve their game". I'm sorry if this seems silly, but as you get older you'd understand it better.


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## fallenchaoskitten

Adol the Red said:


> "You gotta test drive the car before you buy it"
> 
> That's what I get when I ask people who they dont wait until marriage. It makes sense, I suppose. Even if you love the person 100%, sex and physical attraction are still _*very*_ important to any relationship. You don't want to be with someone for years and then get married only to find that the sex is very bad. Some people can't "improve their game". I'm sorry if this seems silly, but as you get older you'd understand it better.



-cough- -quotes what i just said- -cough-


fallenchaoskitten said:


> You make a really good point.
> Several people try to use the metaphor of "test driving a car"
> I hate tell you but when you test drive a car, you don't floor it and go 150mph on a ****ing test drive. >.>
> The _relationship_ is the test drive. Not the sex.
> If you base a relationship on how sex is, then I hate to burst your bubble but someday you or them will get old or sick or something can happen where sex isn't an opinion now or even for a long time.
> If you bought the car because it can go 150mph and it is amazing when it is at that! When the car starts to break down and it's hard to get over 75mph, you will lose interest and want to go get a new car.
> I hope that makes sense.
> 
> Be in a relationship for each other and each others personalities.
> Sure, "sexual compatibility" is important. But if you are with someone you can talk to and works with you on things out outside of the bedroom, they are likely to do the same in the bedroom.
> That is what you need to look for in a long term partner to maintain a healthy relationship.


----------



## ACNiko

Adol the Red said:


> Even if you love the person 100%, sex and physical attraction are still _*very*_ important to any relationship. You don't want to be with someone for years and then get married only to find that the sex is very bad. Some people can't "improve their game". I'm sorry if this seems silly, but as you get older you'd understand it better.


 That's where I disagree. Sex is nice, but it's not italic-underline-bold-very important. If I was in a relationship, of course I would want to have sex with my partner, but it's not important. If s/he says s/he wants to wait with sex, I'm fine with that (even if I think I would be the one to say that ). And I don't have to be older to understand it better - this is what I think of sex. You have a different opinion.


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## KaptenK

OK, about the thing with not having sex before marriage:

I see the point with it, I truly do, but if you are not religious then marriage is just a legal procedure where you make it so that if you die, all your things goes to your partner and stuff like that. If you ask me it should not define the love you have for each other. It's not a safety net that makes it impossible for people to grow tired of their partner. So if you are going to marry, make sure that you are probably going to stay together forever, or else there will be a higher risk of a divorce and a divorce is just a more complicated way to break up. Much more complicated.

That's why I think it is wise to include sex in a relationship before marriage. If you consider sex to be a relationship-thing, it should really be a part of the whole experience. If you set a rule that sex will only happen after marriage, then there will be a risk that the marriage itself becomes more exciting because when it's done sex will finally be available. Then you're not marrying for love anymore. 

A lot of relationships end because of people getting bored with each other. There is no way to know how long the hype will last after you begin to have sex. It is, no pun intended, a very exciting thing and one that many look forward to but, again, there is no telling what happens after having sex becomes a habit. If a couple are having sex before marriage regularly, and still love each other 5-10 years after that and wants to get married because of love and maybe legal reasons, then I would say it is the right time for marriage.  

Sure, sex is not to be stressed, but marriage really shouldn't be either. I respect every person's choice to not have sex before marriage, but just keep this in mind.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> Yup. Really.
> I guess the way I can try to explain what the doctor said into what I am meaning is...
> If you use to run a mile every day and then suddenly just stop for several years. The first time you try and run that mile again can be a lot hard than it was the last time and your sides will probably hurt.
> ...
> Maybe an exercise isn't a good one... stretching will probably be a better example. XP
> If you use to be able to do the splits but then completely stopped stretching for several years. If you just randomly get the feeling to do the splits again after not even stretching for 5 years, it's probably gonna hurt. >.>
> 
> If you don't do something for awhile, the body losses it's limberness.
> It doesn't mean the hymen "grew back."
> The body wasn't "stretching" for a long time and it lost some of it's limberness. Meaning it had to start learning to stretch again.
> ... Does that make sense?
> 
> 
> But, again, that is why I said it is a debated topic with reliable sources saying it can and others saying it can't.



I see what you mean. Yes it does make sense.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

*OK GUYS I AM STARTING TO THINK EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT UP ABOUT SEX BEFORE OR AFTER MARRIAGE TALK*

It is something that is left to personal opinion that I think we ALL should agree on that.
It is not an educational fact which is what this place is meant for.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Fearthecuteness said:


> I see what you mean. Yes it does make sense.



Glad it makes sense. ^^'
I have to baby sit a lot of little kids ((I promise I am not calling you a little kid I'm using an example of how I thought of it o.o)) here-n-there and they ask so many questions that are hard to explain to them in a way they would understand at their age and maturity level.
I find using comparisons is a good way to get people to understand things better, so I try to do that whenever I can.

I wish I could just remember all those helpful sites that talked about it can and cannot to really be more of an assistance, but I can't and I don't want my husband looking at the computer history like, "Honey.... Why are you looking up how long it takes to grow back a hymen?" XP


----------



## Fearthecuteness

KaptenK said:


> OK, about the thing with not having sex before marriage:
> 
> I see the point with it, I truly do, but if you are not religious then marriage is just a legal procedure where you make it so that if you die, all your things goes to your partner and stuff like that. If you ask me it should not define the love you have for each other. It's not a safety net that makes it impossible for people to grow tired of their partner. So if you are going to marry, make sure that you are probably going to stay together forever, or else there will be a higher risk of a divorce and a divorce is just a more complicated way to break up. Much more complicated.
> 
> That's why I think it is wise to include sex in a relationship before marriage. If you consider sex to be a relationship-thing, it should really be a part of the whole experience. If you set a rule that sex will only happen after marriage, then there will be a risk that the marriage itself becomes more exciting because when it's done sex will finally be available. Then you're not marrying for love anymore.
> 
> A lot of relationships end because of people getting bored with each other. There is no way to know how long the hype will last after you begin to have sex. It is, no pun intended, a very exciting thing and one that many look forward to but, again, there is no telling what happens after having sex becomes a habit. If a couple are having sex before marriage regularly, and still love each other 5-10 years after that and wants to get married because of love and maybe legal reasons, then I would say it is the right time for marriage.
> 
> Sure, sex is not to be stressed, but marriage really shouldn't be either. I respect every person's choice to not have sex before marriage, but just keep this in mind.



This^
In my personal experience I've had people who I really got on well with in the relationship but the sex with that person just wasn't right. You have to connect with someone sexually to truely make it last forever. Say you got married to someone you havent had sex with before and on the night of your wedding the sexual connection just wasn't there. What will you do then? only have sex when it feels like you kind of have to? Sex is more important in a relationship then a lot of people think. You realise when couple are having sex rarely or never that's when it goes downhill and they will either devorce or one will cheat on the other. But hey. Don't know why I'm getting involved in this conversation. I'm never getting married anyway. lol


----------



## undadac

Heres a lil Advice from me.
You know when you're ready! It's when you really think that you've fallen in love for the first time..you'll want it  because you're in love and you wanna remember that love, that person for the rest of your life! first loves are usually the most important to you and i think especially for girls.. you don't wanna pass up loosing your virginity to the right guy because you think its "bad" or "sinful" if you love that person and you feel like you want to do it you should gather up the balls to do it.., like before its too late. Otherwise you could end up waiting & then your first love could end up loosing it to someone else, and then you'll probably do the same.. because these things happen and your boyfriends not gonna wait forever and it could cause stress on the relationship and you when you're holding out like that as well. If you love him hangout just the two of you, kiss!, and see where things go and go with the flow. Just make sure that he RESPECTS you and wants to make love to you! After you loose your virginity it's just sex, & All in All having sex is a beautiful and very meaningful thing as long as you're doing it with the right person because ultimately you'll be connected with that person for the rest of your life.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> *OK GUYS I AM STARTING TO THINK EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT UP ABOUT SEX BEFORE OR AFTER MARRIAGE TALK*
> 
> It is something that is left to personal opinion that I think we ALL should agree on that.
> It is not an educational fact which is what this place is meant for.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Glad it makes sense. ^^'
> I have to baby sit a lot of little kids ((I promise I am not calling you a little kid I'm using an example of how I thought of it o.o)) here-n-there and they ask so many questions that are hard to explain to them in a way they would understand at their age and maturity level.
> I find using comparisons is a good way to get people to understand things better, so I try to do that whenever I can.
> 
> I wish I could just remember all those helpful sites that talked about it can and cannot to really be more of an assistance, but I can't and I don't want my husband looking at the computer history like, "Honey.... Why are you looking up how long it takes to grow back a hymen?" XP



Haha yeah. Would be awkward. Well if you or anyone else on here have any good links to anything sex related just pm me. 

- - - Post Merge - - -



undadac said:


> Heres a lil Advice from me.
> You know when you're ready! It's when you really think that you've fallen in love for the first time..you'll want it  because you're in love and you wanna remember that love, that person for the rest of your life! first loves are usually the most important to you and i think especially for girls.. you don't wanna pass up loosing your virginity to the right guy because you think its "bad" or "sinful" if you love that person and you feel like you want to do it you should gather up the balls to do it.., like before its too late. Otherwise you could end up waiting & then your first love could end up loosing it to someone else, and then you'll probably do the same.. because these things happen and your boyfriends not gonna wait forever and it could cause stress on the relationship and you when you're holding out like that as well. If you love him hangout just the two of you, kiss!, and see where things go and go with the flow. Just make sure that he RESPECTS you and wants to make love to you! After you loose your virginity it's just sex, & All in All having sex is a beautiful and very meaningful thing as long as you're doing it with the right person because ultimately you'll be connected with that person for the rest of your life.
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 41956​



Is this meant to be when everyone feels ready? Because when I lost my virginity I didn't even love the guy. I just knew I was ready for such a long time and wanted to experience what it was like.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Anyways, can we all agree that if someone asks about sex before marriage or after marriage to leave out personal opinion and just make a pro-con list?
That way it is educational and not basis by someone's belief?
Since even those against waiting can surely list pros to waiting, and those against not waiting can surely list pros for not waiting.

This place is awesome and don't want it locked... and such a subject is extremely touchy to some people can could cause a flame war.
... Just my thoughts on that topic really. ^^'


----------



## ACNiko

I hope you all don't think I'm against sex before marriage, I just don't think it's weird to wait until after marriage either.  Whenever you feel ready, right?


----------



## KaptenK

Fearthecuteness said:


> This^
> In my personal experience I've had people who I really got on well with in the relationship but the sex with that person just wasn't right. You have to connect with someone sexually to truely make it last forever. Say you got married to someone you havent had sex with before and on the night of your wedding the sexual connection just wasn't there. What will you do then? only have sex when it feels like you kind of have to? Sex is more important in a relationship then a lot of people think. You realise when couple are having sex rarely or never that's when it goes downhill and they will either devorce or one will cheat on the other. But hey. Don't know why I'm getting involved in this conversation. I'm never getting married anyway. lol



(a little off-topic but)

I think it's good that there are a lot of different opinions about this here; people have different backgrounds, social situations and such. It is a very sensitive subject and I'm glad to see so many people respecting each other's opinions about it. It is very healthy to hear other's thoughts and even if you don't agree, you can still keep listening and widen your view. Makes me happy, that's all


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> Anyways, can we all agree that if someone asks about sex before marriage or after marriage to leave out personal opinion and just make a pro-con list?
> That way it is educational and not basis by someone's belief?
> Since even those against waiting can surely list pros to waiting, and those against not waiting can surely list pros for not waiting.
> 
> This place is awesome and don't want it locked... and such a subject is extremely touchy to some people can could cause a flame war.
> ... Just my thoughts on that topic really. ^^'



Well said. I have nothing against sex before marriage I was just saying my experience about it. So next topic?


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> Well said. I have nothing against sex before marriage I was just saying my experience about it. So next topic?


Haha yeah. I mean, I am for waiting, but I know I can think of pros for not waiting. =3
I'd rather people make a logical decision based on facts presented that basis opinions by others. ^-^


...
Too many older people are online at this time, I think. So not as many juicy questions are being asked. XP


----------



## Nerd House

fallenchaoskitten said:


> -cough- -quotes what i just said- -cough-



Sorry, not reading every wall of text on every page xD

And people don't like my opinion, so I'll just leave the thread. Sorry.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Adol the Red said:


> Sorry, not reading every wall of text on every page xD
> 
> And people don't like my opinion, so I'll just leave the thread. Sorry.


You don't have to leave because people have different opinions. =3
Which is just why I posted that if someone asks about the subject or any subject that is really "touchy" we make a "pro and con" list.
Keeps from flame wars and it stays educational. =3

- - - Post Merge - - -

Anyways, I guess I will ask a question... it's a little more depth one.

How can you tell what is a good lube brand?
Condoms is almost a "duh" by how many advertisements there are... what are good, trusted lube brands? Or how do you even find that info?
I know what to look for in the lube I would like, but I know things vary from brand to brand... and right now the current is working fine, but I think it could be better.
Just not sure what brands to trust with such sensitive areas? I know our current brand is an off brand...
I have heard of K-Y a lot, but their advertising says mostly just "massage" and not as many "massage and play" so leads me to think that the only massage wouldn't be safe for the "play"?

((figured this would be a safe topic since it is educational based since you get/use the wrong kind bad things can happen. >.>))


----------



## Caius

Use some common sense guys. I get the image but no graphic depictions of sex please.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> You don't have to leave because people have different opinions. =3
> Which is just why I posted that if someone asks about the subject or any subject that is really "touchy" we make a "pro and con" list.
> Keeps from flame wars and it stays educational. =3
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Anyways, I guess I will ask a question... it's a little more depth one.
> 
> How can you tell what is a good lube brand?
> Condoms is almost a "duh" by how many advertisements there are... what are good, trusted lube brands? Or how do you even find that info?
> I know what to look for in the lube I would like, but I know things vary from brand to brand... and right now the current is working fine, but I think it could be better.
> Just not sure what brands to trust with such sensitive areas? I know our current brand is an off brand...
> I have heard of K-Y a lot, but their advertising says mostly just "massage" and not as many "massage and play" so leads me to think that the only massage wouldn't be safe for the "play"?
> 
> ((figured this would be a safe topic since it is educational based since you get/use the wrong kind bad things can happen. >.>))



This is one I'd say you'd have to experiment with and try different ones to find your preference. Search for reviews to see how well the lube works if it's appropriate for sensitive areas. The best places to look for reviews is on sex toy sites to see what the customer thought about the purchase. Remember everyone will have a better experience with different brands then others so it's best to just try them all out. Personally I don't find much difference in them.

Edit: Always use extra lube with condoms. Condoms break so easily so it's better to be safe then sorry.


----------



## staticistic1114

fallenchaoskitten said:


> If you aren't ready, then he shouldn't force you into thinking you are.
> If you want to wait for marriage, there is nothing wrong with that. I always like the thought of waiting for marriage and after a horrible thing that happened to my in the 9th grade, which I won't get into, I decided I AM going to wait for marriage.
> 
> Being ready has absolutely NOTHING to do with how long you have been with someone.
> It is the same way with "labeling an age" as Fearthecuteness kind of touched on in the beginning.
> It is about YOU being ready ... not they are ready so I need to be.
> My husband and I got married on our 3rd year anniversary. So, it is possible if you are dating someone for a long time and NOT have sex for whatever reason you choose. It can be either waiting for marriage like myself or that you aren't ready for that big step.
> 
> I will warn, if you wait for marriage and people find out, you get a lot of ****. Will not lie. I can tell ya all about it if anyone wants to ask or even send me a PM.
> But it does say something about yourself and how you value yourself, remember that.
> 
> Being about to say "no" when you aren't ready, even if you aren't waiting for marriage, shows that you value yourself enough and respect yourself enough to not allow others to pressure you into something you will regret.
> 
> Sometimes not being ready does hurt a partner's pride, but they need to kinda "get over it." If they truly love and care for you, then they will respect your decision. Communication is entirely key in any type of relationship, so it is important to talk to your partner about how you feel about things, how you think, and your fears. If you don't, it can lead to a "shut down" or "putting up a wall" that leads to being disconnected. Which is an awful feeling for both parties.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> As for the pain...
> Myself and all my friends had pain their first time no matter what they did.
> BUT If you are smart about it and take the time to actually learn about each other and go slow, the experience isn't that awful. I promise.
> A lot of times... I guess... the best way to describe it is the pain is there but the pleasure is worth the pain? Even if it really isn't that good... since it is your first time.
> The most important thing to do is relax. Which is easier said than done. Since when you are stressed, you will clench your muscles making it very difficult for you and your partner.
> It is also common to feel pain the first FEW times you have sex. Not just the first time. But that is why it is important to have someone you can actually communicate with since sometimes there will be a spot that will give a painful feel and then there are spots that give the desired feeling of pleasure. You both just have to learn each other's bodies to make sure not to get those spots that may cause pain and hit the ones that cause pleasure.
> Of course, if there is a lot of intense pain, it could be a sign of different medical problem and it is best to seek the advice of a medical professional. Something as common and easy to treat as a Yeast Infection can cause a lot of discomfort and pain with intercourse and many people don't know the "warning signs" to know they have one.



owh thank you o:


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> This is one I'd say you'd have to experiment with and try different ones to find your preference. Search for reviews to see how well the lube works if it's appropriate for sensitive areas. The best places to look for reviews is on sex toy sites to see what the customer thought about the purchase. Remember everyone will have a better experience with different brands then others so it's best to just try them all out. Personally I don't find much difference in them.
> 
> Edit: Always use extra lube with condoms. Condoms break so easily so it's better to be safe then sorry.



Yeah. I know about using more with condoms not really for the breaking purposes, but more because the condoms are more plastic-y and don't have as much... give? as skin does. I have no idea how to describe it. XP

I guess I'm just too embarrassed to look at those kinds of sites.
Idk...
I'm a grown married woman who lives alone with her husband in their own home...
Yet still too embarrassed to look at those kinds of sites. XP
I'm also completely outta sync on whatever those sites would even since I'm not one who is interested in masturbation to even be familiar with toys or brands. ((... I have an abnormal basis about the female body... idk... i just find it disgusting.))
And there isn't any local Adult Stores anymore ((not like they actually have a whole lot, btw)) since it got shut down since it was a cover for a drug ring. ... no really. XP

My friends are extremely open about their sex lives and have "pure romance parties" ((FYI, before you try doing one of these, the company is against and WILL NOT support or allow parties with persons under the age of 18 to attend)) almost once a month... and invite me every month ((I think really for the sole purpose of trying to embarrass me o.o)). Yet, I guess, I don't feel comfortable or really want people to know what is or isn't happening in my bedroom? So I find it really hard to even just chat with a friend about any of the stuff either. ^^'

Maybe later today I will just suck it up and look up some of those sites. My 1 year anniversary is coming up in a few months so it wouldn't be too bad to have a little surprise like that.
I'll just keep telling myself it is more like I am getting a gift for someone to make myself feel better. >.>


----------



## Kildor

A friend asked me today, if I know how a hymen can be broken. I said I didn't know, which lead me to here.
How does a hymen actually break?
How much force do you need to break it?
How painful does it feel? 
Will it bleed alot?


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

staticistic1114 said:


> owh thank you o:



You're welcome. =3
But really, don't be scared about the pain.
I'm one of the someones that due to one of those cases were the intense pain won't go away found out from a medical professional I do have a problem... and not the simple Yeast Infection one I talked about. XP
I literally will tare every. single. time. I am with my husband no matter what we do.
That being said, this is coming from a person who has intense pain every single time she is intimate, and pain that will last quite some time after it is over, as well as not be very experienced and with someone who is lacking experience as well... The pleasure and connecting with that person through such an intimate activity of intercourse is worth the pain. ^-^

So, just don't let that be the only thing that is really keeping you from being ready. As said a few times through the thread and will probably be said many more times, there are ways to lessen the pain. But even if it is there, it still doesn't stop the experience from being worth it. =3
((... p.s. I'm not a masochist))

- - - Post Merge - - -



kildor22 said:


> A friend asked me today, if I know how a hymen can be broken. I said I didn't know, which lead me to here.
> How does a hymen actually break?
> How much force do you need to break it?
> How painful does it feel?
> Will it bleed alot?



I will break this down into each question

How does a hymen actually break?
- It isn't an actual break. I'm not sure how to describe it. I heard pages back someone talk about it, but I don't remember which page. I am sorry. It is more it is stretched out than broken. It's not like a big whole is ripped into your tissue or anything like that. =3

How much force do you need to break it?
-Hymens are actually shaped differently... I wish I knew the educational manga I read that talked bout that, but since they are shaped differently and everyone's body is different, there isn't a whole lot of this or that definite answer to it.
-It is also possible to break it by doing simple activities like riding a bike, riding a horse, or playing sports.

How painful does it feel? 
- It is different for each person, but if you read what I just wrote in a reply before, there is pain. it hurts. but that shouldn't be what stops you from being ready.

Will it bleed a lot?
- I will quote what my mom told me when I asked her this when I was little... It varies. It maybe just a couple drops of blood and that is it or it could bleed to the amount a period would and last up to 3 days.
- When I lost my virginity, not to really be graphic but to give an idea, the condom was bloody and a few drops of blood on the bed. And I had spotting the next day.
- ... you won't bleed to death... it's ok. =3


----------



## Kildor

fallenchaoskitten said:


> You're welcome. =3
> But really, don't be scared about the pain.
> I'm one of the someones that due to one of those cases were the intense pain won't go away found out from a medical professional I do have a problem... and not the simple Yeast Infection one I talked about. XP
> I literally will tare every. single. time. I am with my husband no matter what we do.
> That being said, this is coming from a person who has intense pain every single time she is intimate, and pain that will last quite some time after it is over, as well as not be very experienced and with someone who is lacking experience as well... The pleasure and connecting with that person through such an intimate activity of intercourse is worth the pain. ^-^
> 
> So, just don't let that be the only thing that is really keeping you from being ready. As said a few times through the thread and will probably be said many more times, there are ways to lessen the pain. But even if it is there, it still doesn't stop the experience from being worth it. =3
> ((... p.s. I'm not a masochist))
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I will break this down into each question
> 
> How does a hymen actually break?
> - It isn't an actual break. I'm not sure how to describe it. I heard pages back someone talk about it, but I don't remember which page. I am sorry. It is more it is stretched out than broken. It's not like a big whole is ripped into your tissue or anything like that. =3
> 
> How much force do you need to break it?
> -Hymens are actually shaped differently... I wish I knew the educational manga I read that talked bout that, but since they are shaped differently and everyone's body is different, there isn't a whole lot of this or that definite answer to it.
> -It is also possible to break it by doing simple activities like riding a bike, riding a horse, or playing sports.
> 
> How painful does it feel?
> - It is different for each person, but if you read what I just wrote in a reply before, there is pain. it hurts. but that shouldn't be what stops you from being ready.
> 
> Will it bleed a lot?
> - I will quote what my mom told me when I asked her this when I was little... It varies. It maybe just a couple drops of blood and that is it or it could bleed to the amount a period would and last up to 3 days.
> - When I lost my virginity, not to really be graphic but to give an idea, the condom was bloody and a few drops of blood on the bed. And I had spotting the next day.
> - ... you won't bleed to death... it's ok. =3



Thanks for the answers. It's kinda weird since I might not be able to handle something like bleeding during sexual intercourse. I don't want my parner to get hurt.  I'm a guy by the way, haha. This thread is actually doing well. It helps alot! Keep up the great job everyone.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

kildor22 said:


> Thanks for the answers. It's kinda weird since I might not be able to handle something like bleeding during sexual intercourse. I don't want my parner to get hurt.  I'm a guy by the way, haha. This thread is actually doing well. It helps alot! Keep up the great job everyone.



... umm... during sexual intercourse it isn't exactly common ((well, at least not the very first time anyways)) to just look down and stare at it happening. ^^' So, you really don't _know_ about the blood until the deed is done.
Put a towel or an old blanket down before hand. =3
... and not to be awful sounding but what my friend said once was "do it in the shower". If blood will freak you out that much. Do it in the shower, shower on. It will kinda run down and away with the water maybe before you will notice in the water. Just make sure to be safe since "slippery when wet" and you don't wanna fall and hurt yourself either during or after or anything. o.o

ANYWAYS
As tips have said in the thread that will help with the pain.
1. Take it slow. like. really. really. really. slow. The body isn't use to stretching like that... yet. It is often easier to kinda go in, stop to allow the body to adjust and then a little more and then stop. A woman can push a baby's head out of there. It will stretch.
2. Lube. Lots and lots of lube. When you think you have too much lube, use more. >.>
3. Loosening up before hand.... not like foreplay. If you are about to be sexual active with intercourse, before this event it is likely to be doing or about to start engaging in "mutual masturbation" ((hand job or fingering)). These things help. If nothing has even stretched the vagina before, even a finger, it is obviously going to make things a little more difficult.
4. Foreplay... It is very important to set the mood and to calm down the nerves.
5. If it is hurting too much, stop. Just stop for a moment and try to relax. If a girl is tense, she will, without knowingly, tense all the muscles inside her... Making it almost impossible to really move inside without causing pain.

But it is really sweet of you to think about her pain. =3


----------



## Kildor

fallenchaoskitten said:


> ... umm... during sexual intercourse it isn't exactly common ((well, at least not the very first time anyways)) to just look down and stare at it happening. ^^' So, you really don't _know_ about the blood until the deed is done.
> Put a towel or an old blanket down before hand. =3
> ... and not to be awful sounding but what my friend said once was "do it in the shower". If blood will freak you out that much. Do it in the shower, shower on. It will kinda run down and away with the water maybe before you will notice in the water. Just make sure to be safe since "slippery when wet" and you don't wanna fall and hurt yourself either during or after or anything. o.o
> 
> ANYWAYS
> As tips have said in the thread that will help with the pain.
> 1. Take it slow. like. really. really. really. slow. The body isn't use to stretching like that... yet. It is often easier to kinda go in, stop to allow the body to adjust and then a little more and then stop. A woman can push a baby's head out of there. It will stretch.
> 2. Lube. Lots and lots of lube. When you think you have too much lube, use more. >.>
> 3. Loosening up before hand.... not like foreplay. If you are about to be sexual active with intercourse, before this event it is likely to be doing or about to start engaging in "mutual masturbation" ((hand job or fingering)). These things help. If nothing has even stretched the vagina before, even a finger, it is obviously going to make things a little more difficult.
> 4. Foreplay... It is very important to set the mood and to calm down the nerves.
> 5. If it is hurting too much, stop. Just stop for a moment and try to relax. If a girl is tense, she will, without knowingly, tense all the muscles inside her... Making it almost impossible to really move inside without causing pain.
> 
> But it is really sweet of you to think about her pain. =3



Thanks for the tips. I imagine  sex as a way to show your affection to your partner, so I want my partner to feel good too. It would be horrible if she does not like it while I enjoy myself. That's just kinda wrong in my opinion. Thanks again for the tips. Really appreciate it


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

kildor22 said:


> Thanks for the tips. I imagine  sex as a way to show your affection to your partner, so I want my partner to feel good too. It would be horrible if she does not like it while I enjoy myself. That's just kinda wrong in my opinion. Thanks again for the tips. Really appreciate it



That is good for you. =3
And you're welcome.

Just work on learning each others bodies out before the big event.
I have said in a before post I think awhile back that sometimes there are spots that hurt while other spots that feel good. ((could just be due to my condition but I'm sure others have that as well))
That is where #3 really helps learn about what to not do and what to do... Which it is probably a lot easier to control a finger than a penis. But you'll get the idea. XP

Also, women feel pleasure from things other than vaginal intercourse, and in many cases more pleasure easily from things other than that. If you find out what those are before hand, it is possible to "multi-task" during sex. ^^'
I'm sure guys probably have those things as well, but I can really only speak for a woman's perspective.


----------



## Mewmewmewm

We had to watch the "miracle of Birth" today in sex ed
It. . .popped. . 
OH GOD IT POPPED （；＿；）
I couldn't watch the whole thing, i had to put my head down on my desk. I only saw a little bit and from the bits i saw. . .
*shiver* i just felt uncomfortable. And incredibly grossed out.
I guess I'm really innocent or something. We had a test on reproductive systems and i literally got ONE RIGHT. My teacher said i set a new record ヽ(；▽；)ノ and the only reason i got that one right was because i put kawaii eyes on it with blushies to make myself feel better.
. . .
I WAS A SHELTERED CHILD OKAY ヽ(；▽；)ノ
But it was weird. Later a girl in class asked how abortions work and the teacher refused to answer which i thought was kind of odd. I know a lot about them because my sister worked with planned parenthood for a while and would go to protests. But i think thats a decently school appropriate question. I mean they also showed us a full detailed video with a fancy british lady talking about semen with pictures, i think we could handle something like abortion.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Mewmewmewm said:


> We had to watch the "miracle of Birth" today in sex ed
> It. . .popped. .
> OH GOD IT POPPED （；＿；）
> I couldn't watch the whole thing, i had to put my head down on my desk. I only saw a little bit and from the bits i saw. . .
> *shiver* i just felt uncomfortable. And incredibly grossed out.
> I guess I'm really innocent or something. We had a test on reproductive systems and i literally got ONE RIGHT. My teacher said i set a new record ヽ(；▽；)ノ and the only reason i got that one right was because i put kawaii eyes on it with blushies to make myself feel better.
> . . .
> I WAS A SHELTERED CHILD OKAY ヽ(；▽；)ノ
> But it was weird. Later a girl in class asked how abortions work and the teacher refused to answer which i thought was kind of odd. I know a lot about them because my sister worked with planned parenthood for a while and would go to protests. But i think thats a decently school appropriate question. I mean they also showed us a full detailed video with a fancy british lady talking about semen with pictures, i think we could handle something like abortion.


We never had to watch that video in school... my mom and I liked natural channels and documentaries, so it is something I saw a lot.
But don't feel bad. My cousin when his daughter was born and it came to cutting the cord and seeing the placenta, he literally threw up. XP

If abortion is legal, it is something that should be discussed, whether you agree with the practice or not.
The education of what it does and how it happens, as well as the dangers it can cause, should be discussed.
To my knowledge ((I'm pro-life so I don't stay current on abortion news)) the practice of getting an abortion is much safer than it use to be.
I think if you are old enough for the school to mandate you to watch a child being born, you are old enough to learn about abortion.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Mewmewmewm said:


> We had to watch the "miracle of Birth" today in sex ed
> It. . .popped. .
> OH GOD IT POPPED （；＿；）
> I couldn't watch the whole thing, i had to put my head down on my desk. I only saw a little bit and from the bits i saw. . .
> *shiver* i just felt uncomfortable. And incredibly grossed out.
> I guess I'm really innocent or something. We had a test on reproductive systems and i literally got ONE RIGHT. My teacher said i set a new record ヽ(；▽；)ノ and the only reason i got that one right was because i put kawaii eyes on it with blushies to make myself feel better.
> . . .
> I WAS A SHELTERED CHILD OKAY ヽ(；▽；)ノ
> But it was weird. Later a girl in class asked how abortions work and the teacher refused to answer which i thought was kind of odd. I know a lot about them because my sister worked with planned parenthood for a while and would go to protests. But i think thats a decently school appropriate question. I mean they also showed us a full detailed video with a fancy british lady talking about semen with pictures, i think we could handle something like abortion.



Oh no trust me. I've been through it and I think it's gross. xD 

I think abortions really should be talked about more. It's something that needs to be more openly talked about so that people don't feel ashamed about having it done. Plus if they need to do it then it's not going to be so scary if they know as much detail about it as possible.


----------



## Cudon

Personally I could not give less of a **** about sex,  but might aswell mention the sex ed I've had so far. 

5th grade - We had a month or two about the basics of sex and genitalia. 

6th grade - A little bit more about sex, don't really remember the details

7th - 9th grade - I'm currently on 8th, but the program stays quite similar. In health class we cycle through like 5 topics: sex, sleep, eating properly, emergencies, drugs & such. So basically were going over the same things 3 years straight. The sex ed is quite detailed and I'm happy to say my teacher is really mature about it. We're told about all kinds of birth-control, even about the less popular ones & where to get em. I'm not really a fan of health class since it teaches me everything I don't give a **** about. I don't care about what each drug does in specific, I'm not gonna use em anyway. Also most of the stuff taught there is common sense, like sleeping properly.

I haven't encountered any teen pregnancy yet, even though I'm sure it happens here in Finland.


----------



## Kildor

Vaati said:


> You probably should put something like 18+ in the topic.



*cough cough* What? The point of this thread was to teach youngsters about sex, if they have any actual questions. 
They try to answer the questions as non-graphic as possible. So this thread would be pointless if 18+ adults were asking, because they should know the answers by themselves.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

I got a message from someone on this forum (keeping it annonymous) and with their permission I'm putting the questions on here because I think they're good questions that I'm sure a lot of males worry about.

What size is good enough to satisfy your partner? How do you know if your partner is ready for sex without outright asking (to avoid awkwardness).


----------



## Kildor

Fearthecuteness said:


> I got a message from someone on this forum (keeping it annonymous) and with their permission I'm putting the questions on here because I think they're good questions that I'm sure a lot of males worry about.
> 
> What size is good enough to satisfy your partner? How do you know if your partner is ready for sex without outright asking (to avoid awkwardness).



I have an opinion on this one. 
A wise man once said, 
"It doesn't matter what size it is, it's how you use it."


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

OH!! WAS GOING TO ASK, Fearthecuteness
There was this manga I read when I first got married to help with the whole issue of sex and all that.
It is an educational manga that depicts two virgins who marry ((they didn't know each other were either =3)) and discusses topics from fear of sex or being seen naked, how bodies different ((all the way from pubic hair growth to direction penis's can tilt)), and even to the extent of after married a little while problems like cheating and such. Or biological clock ticking.
I read the one that was written in the male perspective, but a female one has been written as well. I just wasn't aware of it so I read the "male" one. But really both are the same storyline. XP
It is I think nearly 200 chapters, with chapters normally having 30 to 50 pages if I remember correctly. So, it has a lot of content. I don't think I ever made it to 100 chapters. XP
It is useful, but it does have graphic depictions... It is about a newly wed couple. Not really to the level of hintai but still there. It does say in the manga's description that it is for educational purposes. So, it may not be appropriate to have it listed on the front, but good to know if someone asks privately?
I'm sure I would be able to find it quickly and be able to provide you a link to a free manga reading app and website to find it on.
Some people may find it easier to learn reading something written out in manga style than textbook style.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Fearthecuteness said:


> I got a message from someone on this forum (keeping it annonymous) and with their permission I'm putting the questions on here because I think they're good questions that I'm sure a lot of males worry about.
> 
> What size is good enough to satisfy your partner? How do you know if your partner is ready for sex without outright asking (to avoid awkwardness).



The avg size is 6ins in length.
That being said there is always the joke, "it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean."
One way a guy "hinted" about sex with me was he put a condom in my pocket. XP
And really, if you are too embarrassed to really ask about sex being on the table, then maybe you aren't ready to have sex? Kinda personal opinion but yeah.
But there is always just the "going with the flow" ... start things up and just see where things lead to before you get the red flag.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> OH!! WAS GOING TO ASK, Fearthecuteness
> There was this manga I read when I first got married to help with the whole issue of sex and all that.
> It is an educational manga that depicts two virgins who marry ((they didn't know each other were either =3)) and discusses topics from fear of sex or being seen naked, how bodies different ((all the way from pubic hair growth to direction penis's can tilt)), and even to the extent of after married a little while problems like cheating and such. Or biological clock ticking.
> I read the one that was written in the male perspective, but a female one has been written as well. I just wasn't aware of it so I read the "male" one. But really both are the same storyline. XP
> It is I think nearly 200 chapters, with chapters normally having 30 to 50 pages if I remember correctly. So, it has a lot of content. I don't think I ever made it to 100 chapters. XP
> It is useful, but it does have graphic depictions... It is about a newly wed couple. Not really to the level of hintai but still there. It does say in the manga's description that it is for educational purposes. So, it may not be appropriate to have it listed on the front, but good to know if someone asks privately?
> I'm sure I would be able to find it quickly and be able to provide you a link to a free manga reading app and website to find it on.
> Some people may find it easier to learn reading something written out in manga style than textbook style.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> The avg size is 6ins in length.
> That being said there is always the joke, "it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean."
> One way a guy "hinted" about sex with me was he put a condom in my pocket. XP
> And really, if you are too embarrassed to really ask about sex being on the table, then maybe you aren't ready to have sex? Kinda personal opinion but yeah.
> But there is always just the "going with the flow" ... start things up and just see where things lead to before you get the red flag.



That is a good idea since I'm one of those people who have always been better off reading mangas then actual books. 
Was the manga called manga sutra? The story sounds a lot like that. if so they also made a anime of it called futari H. Not reccomended to the really young ones on here. >.>


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> That is a good idea since I'm one of those people who have always been better off reading mangas then actual books.
> Was the manga called manga sutra? The story sounds a lot like that. if so they also made a anime of it called futari H. Not reccomended to the really young ones on here. >.>



It wasn't sutra. Or at least not what I remember.
I know it started with an F... urgh... it's gonna bug me.
I'll find my phone since I know it's on my manga app on it to get the name and I'll PM you it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

FOUND IT ALREADY!
((on the site it is actually listed as #32 as most popular. XP))


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> It wasn't sutra. Or at least not what I remember.
> I know it started with an F... urgh... it's gonna bug me.
> I'll find my phone since I know it's on my manga app on it to get the name and I'll PM you it.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> FOUND IT ALREADY!
> ((on the site it is actually listed as #32 as most popular. XP))



Lol cool. I'll check it out.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> Lol cool. I'll check it out.



It is really a good manga for someone who doesn't know anything, but mature enough to handle depictions of intercourse... which is why I said the link would probably not be good for the front page, but a good source for any PM's. ^^'


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> It is really a good manga for someone who doesn't know anything, but mature enough to handle depictions of intercourse... which is why I said the link would probably not be good for the front page, but a good source for any PM's. ^^'



Oh definitely.

- - - Post Merge - - -



kildor22 said:


> I have an opinion on this one.
> A wise man once said,
> "It doesn't matter what size it is, it's how you use it."



Yes this is definitely true. The girls G-spot is only 2 inches deep and besides the foreplay is more important then the size of a man's penis.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

I almost want to start reading it again... but I'm already behind on my other mangas. >.>
Alas. I am off though, I have to do some housework like the good lil wifey I'm pretending to before husband comes home for lunch in a few hours. XP

I'll probably take a break and pop in here-n-there though to put my two cents in. =3


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> I almost want to start reading it again... but I'm already behind on my other mangas. >.>
> Alas. I am off though, I have to do some housework like the good lil wifey I'm pretending to before husband comes home for lunch in a few hours. XP
> 
> I'll probably take a break and pop in here-n-there though to put my two cents in. =3



Ok bye. Thanks for reminding me about that manga. That will definitely be helpful to people.


----------



## Gizmodo

I'm scared its gonna be so awk for me; for soo many reasons


----------



## crystalmilktea

kildor22 said:


> I have an opinion on this one.
> A wise man once said,
> "It doesn't matter what size it is, it's how you use it."



I heard a 'painter' say "It's not how big the brush is it's how you move it"

Also I heard some guys say the average is 5.5 inches...


----------



## iamnothyper

ACNiko said:


> That's where I disagree. Sex is nice, but it's not italic-underline-bold-very important. If I was in a relationship, of course I would want to have sex with my partner, but it's not important. If s/he says s/he wants to wait with sex, I'm fine with that (even if I think I would be the one to say that ). And I don't have to be older to understand it better - this is what I think of sex. You have a different opinion.



I kind of disagree I think sexual compatibility is very important for a stable, long-lasting relationship. Sex is a game changer in a relationship, in my opinion the whole dynamic of the relationship changes after sex comes into the picture. This isn't so much of a stance on sex before/after marriage, but more so to say it's a more critical component of the equation than you think. If you look at married couples, one of the common gripes they have is that the sex-life isn't there. If you have a "normal" libido, you are going to want to have sex with your significant other and bad sex is a bigger problem than it seems at first. If you feel "unsatisfied" it has its ramifications on the relationship. Obviously it's not the most important part and can be worked upon, but you need a certain level of chemistry there.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> I'm scared its gonna be so awk for me; for soo many reasons



Ha, its always awkward.
As long as you're with someone you can trust yourself with and in the right emotional state it'll be fine. The best advice I can give you is to just go with the flow. Your body knows better than you so just let it do it's thing xD


----------



## Siren137

Gizmodo said:


> I'm scared its gonna be so awk for me; for soo many reasons



That's nothing to be ashamed of. It can feel awkward at first. Having sex for the first time is probably the first time you have gotten naked with someone and obviously been so intimate with them. The best thing to remember is to only go as far as you want to at any time, first time or not. Just remember the person you are with will probably feel the same way! Go at a pace you are both happy with and the awkwardness will soon disappear.

Edit to add:
I think this thread is a fab idea! Been following it and thought I'd start to contribute!


----------



## Prof Gallows

Would like to remind everyone that if you feel any negative feelings toward this thread, please send in a report or a PM to us instead of posting about it in the thread itself. I've had to delete a couple of posts now because of that.


I'll contribute to the thread too, or if anyone feels more comfortable discussing these things than posting about it I'll help to the best of my ability.


----------



## Zeiro

Mewmewmewm said:


> But it was weird. Later a girl in class asked how abortions work and the teacher refused to answer which i thought was kind of odd. I know a lot about them because my sister worked with planned parenthood for a while and would go to protests. But i think thats a decently school appropriate question. I mean they also showed us a full detailed video with a fancy british lady talking about semen with pictures, i think we could handle something like abortion.


It is an important thing to discuss, they should have at least addressed the issue. Also, please tell your sister not to protest at abortion clinics.



crystalmilktea said:


> Also I heard some guys say the average is 5.5 inches...


It varies by country for biological reasons, but the U.S. average is 5.5 inches I believe.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Reizo said:


> It is an important thing to discuss, they should have at least addressed the issue. Also, please tell your sister not to protest at abortion clinics.
> 
> It varies by country for biological reasons, but the U.S. average is 5.5 inches I believe.


If they live in the USA, there is freedom of speech that protects the right of non-violent protesting.
If someone chooses to protest at or near an abortion clinic and is following all laws of their state and country, they may do so if they wish.
I am basically saying this thread should stick to educational discussion, not moral debates of pro-life, pro-choice, or other such topics.

And here in the USA I always hear of it as 6... not 5.5 ... I think people are too lazy to probably say "5.5" and just round up. That or everyone lost .5 an inch since I was in high school a few years ago. XP


----------



## aetherene

I always heard that the average penis size is 6-8 inches.

But the size should never really matter anyway. It's all about what you do with it.


----------



## Syd

I remember in middle school on the first day of "human reproduction" 90% of the class faked sick so they wouldn't have to sit through it. I can see why this is a sensitive subject to kids, but it's better to know about it and be prepared, then to jump in headfirst with no knowledge!


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Syd said:


> I remember in middle school on the first day of "human reproduction" 90% of the class faked sick so they wouldn't have to sit through it. I can see why this is a sensitive subject to kids, but it's better to know about it and be prepared, then to jump in headfirst with no knowledge!



Omg... That is awesome. Totally awesome.
I wish when I was in school, all of us could have organized something like that. Not exactly that topic but something along the same lines. It would have been hilarious. XP
... I was an awful child. >.>

But maybe this is the reason our school did sort of "surprise lessons" ... we didn't know we were going to talk about sex ed that day until, that day in class ((or from a friend who had the class earlier in the day)). Not that they taught much at my school anyways. ^^'

- - - Post Merge - - -



aetherene said:


> I always heard that the average penis size is 6-8 inches.
> 
> But the size should never really matter anyway. It's all about what you do with it.



So... to kinda put a stop to guessing and "i heard" 's ... I was going to look it up...
... I'm sorry but the NAME of the websites alone made me laugh way to hard to even consider opening them up or even think of them as creditable sources...
And I am not going to tell you what exactly I search for or even what search engine. XP
But anyways... I would hate to have the job of surveying this to find a region or countries avg...
So, in the end, I tried to get educated, logical proof and sources and it failed... miserably. ((but it was funny XP))


----------



## Peisinoe

aetherene said:


> I always heard that the average penis size is 6-8 inches.
> 
> But the size should never really matter anyway. It's all about what you do with it.



Basically this. 

Don't be afraid to say No- is probably what I would say if it is your first time.


----------



## aetherene

Stina said:


> Basically this.
> 
> Don't be afraid to say No- is probably what I would say if it is your first time.



Consent is a hugeeeeee part of sex. Everyone should consent of their free will to every sexual act. If someone says no, they mean no. Don't try to convince them or push them or pressure them into doing something they don't want to do. 

Never be afraid to say no, not to just not being ready for your first time, but to anything you don't want to do during sex.


----------



## rockthemike13

IMO it's not important to a relationship at all.  If people try to tell you otherwise, it would be within my wisdom to say they're doing it wrong.  My wife and I are happy without (or with) it.  Hope this is some what helpful to the some what less experienced.


----------



## amemome

Syd said:


> I remember in middle school on the first day of "human reproduction" 90% of the class faked sick so they wouldn't have to sit through it. I can see why this is a sensitive subject to kids, but it's better to know about it and be prepared, then to jump in headfirst with no knowledge!



Personally, I hated sitting in a class surrounded by all my peers who were already judging each other, all getting talked at by people we didn't even know about sex and intimacy.  I feel like these sessions would have been better if we broke off into smaller groups and had someone there to facilitate discussion.  I had a lot of questions but it felt really stigmatized to talk about sex in front of my peers.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

rockthemike13 said:


> IMO it's not important to a relationship at all.  If people try to tell you otherwise, it would be within my wisdom to say they're doing it wrong.  My wife and I are happy without (or with) it.  Hope this is some what helpful to the some what less experienced.



Thank you for saying this.
Being a married woman myself... it really isn't that big of a deal in a relationship as being a requirement like so many are kinda making it out to me... like "If you don't have good sex life it will fail" kinda crap. =/
I mean. I use to work 1st shift and my husband 2nd shift. We LITERALLY say each other for 30mins to an hour at MOST a day... and entire day... that's it... Not exactly time for sex either since it was almost a meal together. So, sex life was non-existent or even any sexual activities for that matter.
And we are just fine and both completely happy and satisfied with each other. 
We both aren't look elsewhere for attention. We both are very big against cheating... and really we trust each to know that isn't even something the other would consider.


----------



## aetherene

rockthemike13 said:


> IMO it's not important to a relationship at all.  If people try to tell you otherwise, it would be within my wisdom to say they're doing it wrong.  My wife and I are happy without (or with) it.  Hope this is some what helpful to the some what less experienced.



I agree and disagree.

Sex is considered to be a basic need in humans. Except, people's need for sex differs. Of course, no relationship should be hinged solely on sex (unless it has an FWB status and there is no commitment involved).

So I don't believe that sex is not important to a relationship _at all_. It definitely has importance, but it depends on the person, their partner, and their sex drives. It's a matter of having that need met and how important it is to the person. Someone's sexual needs not being met can definitely cause problems in a relationship.


----------



## Kyle

aetherene said:


> I always heard that the average penis size is 6-8 inches.
> 
> But the size should never really matter anyway. It's all about what you do with it.



More like 5-6.5, anything topping 7 is typically painful for most women save for "experienced" ones.


----------



## Diamondarcadia

rockthemike13 said:


> IMO it's not important to a relationship at all.  If people try to tell you otherwise, it would be within my wisdom to say they're doing it wrong.  My wife and I are happy without (or with) it.  Hope this is some what helpful to the some what less experienced.



To say that sex isn't important _at all_ in a relationship is a very ignorant statement. Perhaps you and your wife are comfortable with that opinion but that isn't true for a lot of couples. You are disregarding the scientific importance sex has proven to have in relationships. As humans, sex is a natural desire for us to have and some people are more sexually charged than others. When we ignore this need of our partner, then we essentially are depriving them of something they feel biologically inclined to do. In doing so, you can put serious strain on  a relationship. There are circumstances where sex wouldn't be appropriate to ask a women to engage in (soon after childbirth for example, she may not be ready) or a man (after a trying or stressful day/surgery/etc etc) when you are applying pressure and essentially _forcing _ your partner to agree to have sex then it won't be a good experience for either person. Due to recent health issues, I haven't been in the "mood" so to speak but understanding that I am married and my husband has his desires as well, I try to do my best when I am feeling good. For me to completely ignore him and say no _every_ single time will undoubtably put unnecessary strain on our relationship.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Diamondarcadia said:


> To say that sex isn't important _at all_ in a relationship is a very ignorant statement. Perhaps you and your wife are comfortable with that opinion but that isn't true for a lot of couples. You are disregarding the scientific importance sex has proven to have in relationships. As humans, sex is a natural desire for us to have and some people are more sexually charged than others. When we ignore this need of our partner, then we essentially are depriving them of something they feel biologically inclined to do. In doing so, you can put serious strain on  a relationship. There are circumstances where sex wouldn't be appropriate to ask a women to engage in (soon after childbirth for example, she may not be ready) or a man (after a trying or stressful day/surgery/etc etc) when you are applying pressure and essentially _forcing _ your partner to agree to have sex then it won't be a good experience for either person. *Due to recent health issues, I haven't been in the "mood" so to speak* but understanding that I am married and my husband has his desires as well, I try to do my best when I am feeling good. *For me to completely ignore him and say no every single time will undoubtably put unnecessary strain on our relationship.*



Ummm... No... No. No. No. No. No. NOOOOOO!
If you are NOT in the mood of wanting to do sexual activity, you shouldn't. Period.
Forcing yourself to be sexual involved sole not to hurt your partner's feelings is the worst thing to possibly do.
You just mentioned not even a sentences before, "you are applying pressure and essentially _forcing _ your partner to agree to have sex then it won't be a good experience for either person." Which is _EXACTLY_ what that is.
It has absolutely nothing to do with "marital duties." Sex should come because _BOTH_ parties _WANT_ to have it to actually have it. Not because one does.
And saying "no" shouldn't be thought of as "completely ignoring them," it should be considered "respecting myself and my body because I don't feel like doing it right now."


... And I thank you for saying the soon after child birth part.
I don't remember any one else really bringing that up.
Child birth, natural or c-section is a very traumatic event to happen to organs within the body. Yes, it is a natural event, but it puts a real strain on your entire abdominal and pelvic region. It is mostly said to wait a least 6 weeks after giving birth before having sexual intercourse.
This will allow the body time to heal.  But the 6 weeks after is normally the time for the next dr. visit to make sure everything is "ok."
Many relationships don't feel like waiting the 6 weeks and end up being just fine, but it is best to consult with your own doctor yourself since everybody's body is different. Yours may be healing faster than others and it be just fine, or you could be healing slowly and will need to wait to not do damage to your innards.


----------



## Pipsqueak

aetherene said:


> Sex is considered to be a basic need in humans. Except, people's need for sex differs. Of course, no relationship should be hinged solely on sex (unless it has an FWB status and there is no commitment involved).
> 
> So I don't believe that sex is not important to a relationship _at all_. It definitely has importance, but it depends on the person, their partner, and their sex drives. It's a matter of having that need met and how important it is to the person. Someone's sexual needs not being met can definitely cause problems in a relationship.





Completely agree.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Since so many scientific things about the need for sex is being said, I thought I would share this article.
It isn't graphic.
I will post a few quotes even...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...-hugs-hanky-panky-keeps-couples-together.html


> 'Couples who find emotional openness difficult often rely on making love to help them connect, missing out on other levels of intimacy'





> 'The advantage of non-sexual intimacy is that couples often use this time together to talk about their emotional lives,’ says Paula. ‘Whereas when sex is their only way of getting close, couples who find emotional openness difficult often rely on making love to help them connect. They can find themselves missing out on other levels of intimacy.’





> If sex is the focus, it can mean that emotional problems are never discussed — whereas non-sexual touching, such as cuddling and stroking, encourages more relaxed bonding and intimate conversation, due in large part to the crucial ‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin.
> 
> ‘Oxytocin is produced by touch and, as well as making us feel good, it also inspires us to touch more,’ says Paula. ‘That means that the more you touch, the closer you feel and the more you want to touch.’


and it does touch on each gender ::


> According to its research, among middle‑aged couples in committed relationships, tenderness is often more important to the man than the woman; regular kisses and cuddling lead to greater relationship satisfaction in men than in their partners.



... And I can guarantee you I can find you other articles that suggest CUDDLING has many of the same connecting and positive emotional and hormonal effects as having sexual intercourse.
So, rockthemike13 is not being ignorant.
But stating further facts from personal experience that young people need to know that sex isn't something they should feel obligated to do or prioritize in a relationship.


----------



## Pipsqueak

woops


----------



## staticistic1114

fallenchaoskitten said:


> You're welcome. =3
> But really, don't be scared about the pain.
> I'm one of the someones that due to one of those cases were the intense pain won't go away found out from a medical professional I do have a problem... and not the simple Yeast Infection one I talked about. XP
> I literally will tare every. single. time. I am with my husband no matter what we do.
> That being said, this is coming from a person who has intense pain every single time she is intimate, and pain that will last quite some time after it is over, as well as not be very experienced and with someone who is lacking experience as well... The pleasure and connecting with that person through such an intimate activity of intercourse is worth the pain. ^-^
> 
> So, just don't let that be the only thing that is really keeping you from being ready. As said a few times through the thread and will probably be said many more times, there are ways to lessen the pain. But even if it is there, it still doesn't stop the experience from being worth it. =3
> ((... p.s. I'm not a masochist))



well, its not that I don't want to do it
I just want my first time to be worth it with someone I'm sure will stay by my side, which is most probably after marriage

anyways, I'm just too nervous about uhh.. getting naked >//>
how do I get myself prepared?


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

staticistic1114 said:


> well, its not that I don't want to do it
> I just want my first time to be worth it with someone I'm sure will stay by my side, which is most probably after marriage
> 
> anyways, I'm just too nervous about uhh.. getting naked >//>
> how do I get myself prepared?



I'm sorry but with the second to last sentence all I could think of was "do it with the lights off."
If the naked part is a scary part, there is always the option of having the lights all the way off or very dimmed ((enough just to see what you are doing)) as well as doing everything under the covers, including undressing.
Much less intimidating than getting undressed beside the bed with all the lights on.
And when you are "in the heat of the moment" it is easy to actually forget about scary or worrisome things like "omg! they saw me naked!" ^-^

Sounds weird, but get use to having your partner see you in your bikini ((... for women on this part... that was a bad image of a guy in a bikini. >.<)). Bikinis really don't cover all that much. Especially the string bikinis... not hiding much... And it also common that underwear and bras cover more than a bikini. XP
That way, it is a safe and pretty innocent way to adjust yourself into letting your partner see your body. =3

EDIT
And I forgot to add, that in many relationships before you actually get to the stage of intercourse, there is several activities that may involve your partner seeing your unclothed body. Maybe not all of it at once, but in pieces. That does help when it comes time to finally completely disrobe.


----------



## staticistic1114

fallenchaoskitten said:


> I'm sorry but with the second to last sentence all I could think of was "do it with the lights off."
> If the naked part is a scary part, there is always the option of having the lights all the way off or very dimmed ((enough just to see what you are doing)) as well as doing everything under the covers, including undressing.
> Much less intimidating than getting undressed beside the bed with all the lights on.
> And when you are "in the heat of the moment" it is easy to actually forget about scary or worrisome things like "omg! they saw me naked!" ^-^
> 
> Sounds weird, but get use to having your partner see you in your bikini ((... for women on this part... that was a bad image of a guy in a bikini. >.<)). Bikinis really don't cover all that much. Especially the string bikinis... not hiding much... And it also common that underwear and bras cover more than a bikini. XP
> That way, it is a safe and pretty innocent way to adjust yourself into letting your partner see your body. =3



Do you recommend I, like, wear body mist or something? Or maybe make a habit of applying body lotion to make my skin smoother? (ofc not at the moment I'm doing it xD)


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

staticistic1114 said:


> Do you recommend I, like, wear body mist or something? Or maybe make a habit of applying body lotion to make my skin smoother? (ofc not at the moment I'm doing it xD)



Eh. You can.
When you're young, it's not as big of a deal since the skin is naturally more supple... but it is good to start at an early age to maintain that for when you start to get older.

Really, I never messed with lotion until around this year, age 23, since my legs have been getting irritatingly dry. >.>

...
And not to sound weird, but if you happened to just have shaved your legs ((or you can say you just finished really XP)) you can jokingly ask your partner, with lotion bottle in hand, if they would like to put lotion on for you. Sometimes they will laugh and just look at you, but sometimes they will. =3
It's a pretty innocent act, but can be a close intimate one.
((note:: that only isn't weird if they come to your house or something... definitely would be strange to do at the restaurant.))


EDIT
Oh... and to go with the "get use to being seen in the bikini" ... you can always take it further by letting them put sunscreen on your back.
Innocent and allows you to adjust not just them seeing your body, but being close to you in that state as well. =3


----------



## staticistic1114

fallenchaoskitten said:


> Eh. You can.
> When you're young, it's not as big of a deal since the skin is naturally more supple... but it is good to start at an early age to maintain that for when you start to get older.
> 
> Really, I never messed with lotion until around this year, age 23, since my legs have been getting irritatingly dry. >.>
> 
> ...
> *And not to sound weird, but if you happened to just have shaved your legs ((or you can say you just finished really XP)) you can jokingly ask your partner, with lotion bottle in hand, if they would like to put lotion on for you. Sometimes they will laugh and just look at you, but sometimes they will. =3
> It's a pretty innocent act, but can be a close intimate one.
> ((note:: that only isn't weird if they come to your house or something... definitely would be strange to do at the restaurant.))*
> 
> EDIT
> Oh... and to go with the "get use to being seen in the bikini" ... you can always take it further by letting them put sunscreen on your back.
> Innocent and allows you to adjust not just them seeing your body, but being close to you in that state as well. =3



ah! that's cute x3
gimme more thoughts!


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

staticistic1114 said:


> ah! that's cute x3
> gimme more thoughts!



I only thought of that since I was something I would always do with my husband before we were even married. =3
And it's a good time to just laugh and pretty innocent fun despite the fact they are touching your body.
I always shaved my arms too since they are like... man hair... so he would put lotion on my arms as well.

But there is a lot of, again, innocent ways to get use to see your partner and letting your partner see your body and be near it as well.
Those type of activities will help with closeness and trust.
And those two things will help you overcome the stressful, fearful feeling of "... they saw me naked. o.o" part of intimacy...
Baby steps... Baby steps...
((omg... the baby steps could be a really awful pun to the intimacy part... but I didn't mean it that way))
But for your first time, it normally isn't likely for it to just be someone you just met and is a one night stand kinda thing... I said normally... it does happen... And I'm not talking about it being rape. So, there is time to slowly build up to that moment.


----------



## aetherene

Kyle said:


> More like 5-6.5, anything topping 7 is typically painful for most women save for "experienced" ones.



Wait, are we talking about length or width here? Cause there is a difference. Seven inches for width definitely would be painful.

Anyway, it really doesn't matter to me. Whatever length my boyfriend has, I'm satisfied. xD


----------



## Momonoki

We recently got taught about sex in school, so im fine, tbh x)


----------



## Diamondarcadia

fallenchaoskitten said:


> Ummm... No... No. No. No. No. No. NOOOOOO!
> If you are NOT in the mood of wanting to do sexual activity, you shouldn't. Period.
> Forcing yourself to be sexual involved sole not to hurt your partner's feelings is the worst thing to possibly do.
> You just mentioned not even a sentences before, "you are applying pressure and essentially _forcing _ your partner to agree to have sex then it won't be a good experience for either person." Which is _EXACTLY_ what that is.
> It has absolutely nothing to do with "marital duties." Sex should come because _BOTH_ parties _WANT_ to have it to actually have it. Not because one does.
> And saying "no" shouldn't be thought of as "completely ignoring them," it should be considered "respecting myself and my body because I don't feel like doing it right now."
> 
> 
> ... And I thank you for saying the soon after child birth part.
> I don't remember any one else really bringing that up.
> Child birth, natural or c-section is a very traumatic event to happen to organs within the body. Yes, it is a natural event, but it puts a real strain on your entire abdominal and pelvic region. It is mostly said to wait a least 6 weeks after giving birth before having sexual intercourse.
> This will allow the body time to heal.  But the 6 weeks after is normally the time for the next dr. visit to make sure everything is "ok."
> Many relationships don't feel like waiting the 6 weeks and end up being just fine, but it is best to consult with your own doctor yourself since everybody's body is different. Yours may be healing faster than others and it be just fine, or you could be healing slowly and will need to wait to not do damage to your innards.



I do not force myself to engage in sexual activity with my partner. I enjoy it as much as he does and I try to open myself up more to the idea of it since having it out of my mind for a long time, I just forget to remember. Me and my husband have a very active and healthy marriage in all aspects and when he is in the mood, and I am not feeling bad or sick, of course I will switch my mindset over. Sex is not as important to me the last year or so because, again of some health issues, but I am not forcing myself and my husband understands completely when I can't or don't feel up to anything. My general point was that going around and saying sex isn't important in a marriage, don't do it! ..Is irresponsible advice to give. When you are marriage you share your soul with that person, you tell them everything, you think of them as your best friend, sex is a physical way to express that love and connection. It can be a very big part of bonding between two people. If you have kids running around, don't talk, don't hang out, don't go out on dates or aren't intimate, then what the hell is going on? That would seem like torture to me. To each his own I guess...


----------



## staticistic1114

fallenchaoskitten said:


> I only thought of that since I was something I would always do with my husband before we were even married. =3
> And it's a good time to just laugh and pretty innocent fun despite the fact they are touching your body.
> I always shaved my arms too since they are like... man hair... so he would put lotion on my arms as well.
> 
> But there is a lot of, again, innocent ways to get use to see your partner and letting your partner see your body and be near it as well.
> Those type of activities will help with closeness and trust.
> And those two things will help you overcome the stressful, fearful feeling of "... they saw me naked. o.o" part of intimacy...
> Baby steps... Baby steps...
> ((omg... the baby steps could be a really awful pun to the intimacy part... but I didn't mean it that way))
> But for your first time, it normally isn't likely for it to just be someone you just met and is a one night stand kinda thing... I said normally... it does happen... And I'm not talking about it being rape. So, there is time to slowly build up to that moment.



you know, if I know my bf all too well, then I'm sure he'd want to take it off for me >o>""
but anyways, can you give me a few tips about what boys like?

considering I'm the shy type, I'm not too sure of how to act
but yeah when I talked to my bf about it he's like "I'll give you confidence " >//////<♥


----------



## Siren137

Hmmm no one is the same, what might turn one guy on maybe a huge turn off for another. No easy answer there, you have to learn what they like and that is the same whether it's your first time ever or your first time with a new partner! That comes with time and experience between the two of you. The key is communication, if there is something you like, suggest it, which maybe awkward at times but a subtle move of a hand can be all it takes! Of course it goes the same for the other way too if you don't like something say so too!


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

staticistic1114 said:


> you know, if I know my bf all too well, then I'm sure he'd want to take it off for me >o>""
> but anyways, can you give me a few tips about what boys like?
> 
> considering I'm the shy type, I'm not too sure of how to act
> but yeah when I talked to my bf about it he's like "I'll give you confidence " >//////<♥



Asking what a boy likes is similar to asking what a girl likes.
There is no definite answer.
I mean... in general we all pretty well know that, sexual speaking, what is sort of at the base of "what each gender likes." XP
((note... I said "base" of it... not all of it or only it... or how exactly things are done))
And since this is sexual education type thread, I am thinking this is kinda toward sexual means of what does the other like? ... again, simply assuming by the topic of the thread.

So...
Here it goes...
For shy people...
In almost every magazine at the store today, there is something on the cover about "New was to please your guy!" "What she wants to hear and be done to her!" "New tricks to liven things up!"
I'm not saying to buy them since most of the time it's a waste of money, but if you are inline, just grab one and flip through it. I think it would be much safer than trying to find "sex tips" online while blindly searching google.
When in the heat of the moment, try something you read or saw. If you are too shy to ask... If they don't make you stop or give any non-verbal queues that they aren't enjoying it ((like... idk... they start texting)) then just keep doing it. After everything is kinda done and over and ya cuddle or watch a movie or whatever you are doing, just kinda ask "so what did you think of [either say it or hint to what it was]" or something along lines of "did you like it better or worse than the other times?"... Communication is key. You can't rely on just non-verbal communication but actually talking and saying something. 
And if you are too scared to say it in the moment, is normally easier once it is over and things have "calmed down."


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Just to let everyone know I put a link in the description box for contraception. It's a uk site but basically covers a lot about different methods of contraception so I hope it will be very helpful to a lot of people and help you all decide what's best for you.


----------



## Kyle

aetherene said:


> Wait, are we talking about length or width here? Cause there is a difference. Seven inches for width definitely would be painful.
> 
> Anyway, it really doesn't matter to me. Whatever length my boyfriend has, I'm satisfied. xD



Length, and I imagine that five or higher would be painful in width. Now that I think of it I don't know what an average width would be but I'd imagine it varies a lot more than length from guy to guy. But width probably matters more than length when it comes down to her pleasure, so there's that.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> Just to let everyone know I put a link in the description box for contraception. It's a uk site but basically covers a lot about different methods of contraception so I hope it will be very helpful to a lot of people and help you all decide what's best for you.



I decided to open it... And I read through what I am currently on... and... well... it kinda down-played the true risk of it.
Like, if you open a medical dictionary or a OB/PEDs new college textbooks it says ((not a student, but I worked at a college bookstore and it would get boring sometimes)) because of the risk you should be on it for no more than 2 years. And new studies ((like within past year or so)) say to only take it for 1 year. Nothing of that is mentioned there on the website. The topic of why the books say two years is mentioned, but down played.
And I even asked my dr about it and she agreed as well, but mentioned tests that can be done to make sure that a person is healthy enough to continue past the 2 year mark.
... Now this is only with the kind I am on, so I can't talk about the accuracy of the others.

With that being said.
I'm running over to FB to ask my huge all natural insane activist friend the links to her research pages about contraception. Since she is the one who told me that the time you should be on it went from 2 years down to 1.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Kyle said:


> Length, and I imagine that five or higher would be painful in width. Now that I think of it I don't know what an average width would be but I'd imagine it varies a lot more than length from guy to guy. But width probably matters more than length when it comes down to her pleasure, so there's that.



Ummm... I think they were joking about the width thing. XP
Mostly because I know several women that think 7 is too small. So, no, it's not "typically painful" for most women experienced or not. ^^'
And if you aren't experienced, any size could hurt you really... even those considered below average.


----------



## Kyle

If they think 7 is too small for them then that is pretty unfortunate for most guys since I did a quick Google search to back up my statement and the average length was around 5.6 inches. I always considered penis size to be something guys cared more about anyway since it mainly is a self esteem issue above all else, but I am aware that when a girl says it "doesn't matter" they could just be BSing. Regardless, looking at the numbers should be sobering to people thinking something like 8 inches is ideal because the chance of you finding a decent guy with that isn't all that high.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Ohh.... it also doesn't mention what it actually GAVE me on the website.
Like, I didn't have it until after I started on it and now have to take another medication because of it...
And my doctor did tell me that it isn't exactly uncommon to have that happen when taking this kind of contraception... sometimes the body regulates itself out in like 9months or more, but sometimes it does... like my case. ^^'
Even when I was there in the hospital for my last check up, one of her nurses got it from it as well... and she is using the same medicine as me. She is lucky though that her body is mostly regulating it's back to normal, but it was nice talking to someone else who have the same problem. ^^'

- - - Post Merge - - -



Kyle said:


> If they think 7 is too small for them then that is pretty unfortunate for most guys since I did a quick Google search to back up my statement and the average length was around 5.6 inches. I always considered penis size to be something guys cared more about anyway since it mainly is a self esteem issue above all else, but I am aware that when a girl says it "doesn't matter" they could just be BSing. Regardless, looking at the numbers should be sobering to people thinking something like 8 inches is ideal because the chance of you finding a decent guy with that isn't all that high.



It is avg. for a reason... Because there are men who are only 2 and others that are 10. And even the avg between those numbers is 6.
But really, you can have or not, if you don't know how to use it, what's the use?
Everyone has their personal preference to things. And just as some men take into consideration natural breast size ((which I think avg size is C in US sizes ... which are ****ed up anyways which I won't get into unless asked))  some people take into consideration natural* penis size. Even if the sizes they are wanting are unrealistic.

* natural meaning when erect size and not using any means to actually enlarge their born-with size... didn't mean natural as in flaccid.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> I decided to open it... And I read through what I am currently on... and... well... it kinda down-played the true risk of it.
> Like, if you open a medical dictionary or a OB/PEDs new college textbooks it says ((not a student, but I worked at a college bookstore and it would get boring sometimes)) because of the risk you should be on it for no more than 2 years. And new studies ((like within past year or so)) say to only take it for 1 year. Nothing of that is mentioned there on the website. The topic of why the books say two years is mentioned, but down played.
> And I even asked my dr about it and she agreed as well, but mentioned tests that can be done to make sure that a person is healthy enough to continue past the 2 year mark.
> ... Now this is only with the kind I am on, so I can't talk about the accuracy of the others.
> 
> With that being said.
> I'm running over to FB to ask my huge all natural insane activist friend the links to her research pages about contraception. Since she is the one who told me that the time you should be on it went from 2 years down to 1.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Ummm... I think they were joking about the width thing. XP
> Mostly because I know several women that think 7 is too small. So, no, it's not "typically painful" for most women experienced or not. ^^'
> And if you aren't experienced, any size could hurt you really... even those considered below average.



Oh really? Hmm. Maybe it's different in the uk.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> Oh really? Hmm. Maybe it's different in the uk.



It's the "depo"... which is the shot. I would assume something called by the same medical name would be the same through any country.

I have heard outside of the books that to only be on it for 2 years because of the bone lose... But it really isn't about the bone loss and you get osteoporosis like now, but when it is time for menopause you kinda screwed yourself over and are extremely likely to have it.
If someone just says they want to be on the shot and request it, I guess some doctors assume they already know some of the side effects like that, since some women will be on it for 8 or so years and never knew it could do that.
It seemed like they kinda played it down of the website with if you're under 19 you should be fine... which isn't always the case.
I hate to compare something like this to smoking, but most of the times the effects of smoking take years after you have stopped to start to effect you.
I talked with my doctor because my regular doctor put me on this insane diet plan so I was worried about malnutrition by ways of Vit D and Cal to help maintain my bones. And I knew I was getting close to just the 1 year. They can do bone density tests to check to make sure your bones are staying at or above "avg" to insure you are safe to continue something like that for a longer time.

Also, the depo, or really any "no estrogen" can cause your body to kinda STOP making it's natural estrogen. Which your body needs... And that is what is happening with me as a result of the depo. I can't take anything estrogen BC wise safely because of my migraines. ((and thanks to a stupid person at plan parenthood I learned that the hard way.))
Other kinda "non-estrogen" BC's are out there. There is a pill, which after doing research and talking with people I found out it isn't really that good of a BC. And then here is the insert, both in arm or tubes. 
Inserts are great in that you don't want to remember things and can get ones that last 3, 5, or 7 years.
It is more likely that if you do get pregnant while on the insert compared to the depo, to be a tubal.
... Which I don't think I could really handle that. I just don't think I could handle going through something like a tubal with my mind set at the moment. ^^'
Though, the likely hood of getting pregnant while using either insert or shot is said to be the equivalent to or not as likely as just using a condom.
But anyways, out of them, the depo is more likely to do that whole "body stop making estrogen" thing compared to the inserts. Idk why. I forgot what my doctor told me. XP

But really, if the body not making estrogen because of your BC is scary, there is a cream for that.
It can help regulate it back to how the body was before... just takes time to find the right dose. 
I'll tell you from experience that when you kinda have the right dose, labeto skyrockets. If it is way too high, you feel like you are completely insane and you will just be sitting there and sudden out of no where start to cry and you will have no idea why you are crying so you will get upset because you are confused and cry even more. >.> ((I think I saw a glance of what people talk about with pregnancy hormones at that stage XP))
But I know in the USA many facilities actually have samples of it for you if that is your problem instead of making you buy the prescription. ((last two times they gave me free samples despite me having a prescription XP))

Oh, and the website did say it is 12 weeks for the depo, but I didn't see it mention that it is often times done more frequently than 12 weeks.
Just thought some info I would share...
If you are of the people who are having the crazy period it talked about after you start the shot have and been on it at least 6mos, they recommend changing it from every 12 to every 11 or 10 weeks. And just 1 or 2 weeks does make a huge difference. =3


But anyways...
...
I read a lot of pamphlets they have in the office. o.o
They have a lot of info...
Too bad my next dr visit isn't until late next month or I would see if they have a website written on them. >.>

- - - Post Merge - - -

...
I don't think my wall of text is big enough. >.>


EDIT 
So... if anyone has questions about the shot and side effects and that kinda thing, I'd be more than happy to help either with you posting or PMing me.
I am not the only one who has been on it. My sister was on it and 4 of my friends were on it... So I got to not only experience it myself, but hear how it effected my friends as well.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Awe. I just saw front and I got credited. -feels special-
...
...
And I really hope the stuff I touched on in my wall of text doesn't scare anyone away from BC.
It really just was to show the importance of doing research, actually read the pamphlets at the offices, and to have serious conversations with your medical provider to insure you get the correct form that can better protect you and regulate your hormones in a safe manner.
Everything has side effects now-a-days with every type of medication. It is important to read and learn about them. Once you do, it is much simpler to learn ways to help prevent being on of the people who get that side effect. ^-^


----------



## rockthemike13

Diamondarcadia said:


> I do not force myself to engage in sexual activity with my partner. I enjoy it as much as he does and I try to open myself up more to the idea of it since having it out of my mind for a long time, I just forget to remember. Me and my husband have a very active and healthy marriage in all aspects and when he is in the mood, and I am not feeling bad or sick, of course I will switch my mindset over. Sex is not as important to me the last year or so because, again of some health issues, but I am not forcing myself and my husband understands completely when I can't or don't feel up to anything. My general point was that going around and saying sex isn't important in a marriage, don't do it! ..Is irresponsible advice to give. When you are marriage you share your soul with that person, you tell them everything, you think of them as your best friend, sex is a physical way to express that love and connection. It can be a very big part of bonding between two people. If you have kids running around, don't talk, don't hang out, don't go out on dates or aren't intimate, then what the hell is going on? That would seem like torture to me. To each his own I guess...



I say this with utmost respect to you and whoever else may disagree with me, but I don't feel sex is an integral part of a healthy relationship.  From my years of dealing with people and witnessing relationships rise and fall, it merely seems like a perk.  

I don't feel this is irresponsible or ignorant, I would oppose you in this matter and encourage any body who feels they are being pressured, or are pressuring other people into sex that they are the ones acting out of line. 

My wife and I spend almost all of our waking hours when we are not working together.  We cook, watch movies, watch tv, play video games, go hiking, travel, go shopping, pretty much every thing.  Very little if any of that time is spent having intercourse, and I would say we are perfectly happy together.  After 6 years of being together we're still inseparable, and love each other just as much as we did when we first met.  

I am not saying not to have sex, just expressing that it is merely my opinion that people emphasize far too much importance on it, when I feel it shouldn't be put on a pedestal at all.  If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, there are still amazing ways to share your love for each other.


----------



## HarmoniousMelody

rockthemike13 said:


> I say this with utmost respect to you and whoever else may disagree with me, but I don't feel sex is an integral part of a healthy relationship.  From my years of dealing with people and witnessing relationships rise and fall, it merely seems like a perk.
> 
> I don't feel this is irresponsible or ignorant, I would oppose you in this matter and encourage any body who feels they are being pressured, or are pressuring other people into sex that they are the ones acting out of line.
> 
> My wife and I spend almost all of our waking hours when we are not working together.  We cook, watch movies, watch tv, play video games, go hiking, travel, go shopping, pretty much every thing.  Very little if any of that time is spent having intercourse, and I would say we are perfectly happy together.  After 6 years of being together we're still inseparable, and love each other just as much as we did when we first met.
> 
> I am not saying not to have sex, just expressing that it is merely my opinion that people emphasize far too much importance on it, when I feel it shouldn't be put on a pedestal at all.  If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, there are still amazing ways to share your love for each other.



Couldn't agree with you more


----------



## xxLollyxx

rockthemike13 said:


> I say this with utmost respect to you and whoever else may disagree with me, but I don't feel sex is an integral part of a healthy relationship.  From my years of dealing with people and witnessing relationships rise and fall, it merely seems like a perk.
> 
> I don't feel this is irresponsible or ignorant, I would oppose you in this matter and encourage any body who feels they are being pressured, or are pressuring other people into sex that they are the ones acting out of line.
> 
> My wife and I spend almost all of our waking hours when we are not working together.  We cook, watch movies, watch tv, play video games, go hiking, travel, go shopping, pretty much every thing.  Very little if any of that time is spent having intercourse, and I would say we are perfectly happy together.  After 6 years of being together we're still inseparable, and love each other just as much as we did when we first met.
> 
> I am not saying not to have sex, just expressing that it is merely my opinion that people emphasize far too much importance on it, when I feel it shouldn't be put on a pedestal at all.  If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, there are still amazing ways to share your love for each other.



I think it's so nice that you and your wife enjoy each other in non-sexual ways. Every relationship is different so what is normal to one relationship, may not be normal to everyone else and just because you do each other like crazy doesn't mean the relationship is happy or great either. I have an amazing relationship with my husband and we do sooo many different things together. We go on dates, we shop, play video games, lay in bed and talk and laugh all day, we can do anything and be happy together. We express our feelings in different ways all the time. Sex isn't necessarily love...and being in love doesn't necessarily mean having sex. However I think we have a perfect balance  we do that almost daily though lol so for us, that is an important aspect. Every other aspect is just as important though and we make sure we talk and communicate and are honest about everything.

I don't get why guys are so obsessed with size. I saw someone mentioning the average. Do you guys actually like measure it? Why would you do that? Who do you even share that info with? 
Too big is a problem too. It can hurt and be painful. Do men ever think about that?


----------



## rockthemike13

xxLollyxx said:


> I have an amazing relationship with my husband and we do sooo many different things together. We go on dates, we shop, play video games, lay in bed and talk and laugh all day, we can do anything and be happy together. We express our feelings in different ways all the time.



That just completely made my day!  I wanted to thank you for sharing that, I work all day and hear nothing but how terribly unhappy people are with their boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses.  About people getting cheated on, getting divorced, not loving their partners any more, staying together because of unplanned pregnancies, etc etc etc. It's so incredibly awesome to hear successful love stories.  I hope you and your husband stay happy together for the rest of your days!


----------



## Diamondarcadia

As I said before, to each his own  I wish you all good luck in your relationships. Keep doing whatever keeps you happy and together


----------



## Fearthecuteness

fallenchaoskitten said:


> It's the "depo"... which is the shot. I would assume something called by the same medical name would be the same through any country.
> 
> I have heard outside of the books that to only be on it for 2 years because of the bone lose... But it really isn't about the bone loss and you get osteoporosis like now, but when it is time for menopause you kinda screwed yourself over and are extremely likely to have it.
> If someone just says they want to be on the shot and request it, I guess some doctors assume they already know some of the side effects like that, since some women will be on it for 8 or so years and never knew it could do that.
> It seemed like they kinda played it down of the website with if you're under 19 you should be fine... which isn't always the case.
> I hate to compare something like this to smoking, but most of the times the effects of smoking take years after you have stopped to start to effect you.
> I talked with my doctor because my regular doctor put me on this insane diet plan so I was worried about malnutrition by ways of Vit D and Cal to help maintain my bones. And I knew I was getting close to just the 1 year. They can do bone density tests to check to make sure your bones are staying at or above "avg" to insure you are safe to continue something like that for a longer time.
> 
> Also, the depo, or really any "no estrogen" can cause your body to kinda STOP making it's natural estrogen. Which your body needs... And that is what is happening with me as a result of the depo. I can't take anything estrogen BC wise safely because of my migraines. ((and thanks to a stupid person at plan parenthood I learned that the hard way.))
> Other kinda "non-estrogen" BC's are out there. There is a pill, which after doing research and talking with people I found out it isn't really that good of a BC. And then here is the insert, both in arm or tubes.
> Inserts are great in that you don't want to remember things and can get ones that last 3, 5, or 7 years.
> It is more likely that if you do get pregnant while on the insert compared to the depo, to be a tubal.
> ... Which I don't think I could really handle that. I just don't think I could handle going through something like a tubal with my mind set at the moment. ^^'
> Though, the likely hood of getting pregnant while using either insert or shot is said to be the equivalent to or not as likely as just using a condom.
> But anyways, out of them, the depo is more likely to do that whole "body stop making estrogen" thing compared to the inserts. Idk why. I forgot what my doctor told me. XP
> 
> But really, if the body not making estrogen because of your BC is scary, there is a cream for that.
> It can help regulate it back to how the body was before... just takes time to find the right dose.
> I'll tell you from experience that when you kinda have the right dose, labeto skyrockets. If it is way too high, you feel like you are completely insane and you will just be sitting there and sudden out of no where start to cry and you will have no idea why you are crying so you will get upset because you are confused and cry even more. >.> ((I think I saw a glance of what people talk about with pregnancy hormones at that stage XP))
> But I know in the USA many facilities actually have samples of it for you if that is your problem instead of making you buy the prescription. ((last two times they gave me free samples despite me having a prescription XP))
> 
> Oh, and the website did say it is 12 weeks for the depo, but I didn't see it mention that it is often times done more frequently than 12 weeks.
> Just thought some info I would share...
> If you are of the people who are having the crazy period it talked about after you start the shot have and been on it at least 6mos, they recommend changing it from every 12 to every 11 or 10 weeks. And just 1 or 2 weeks does make a huge difference. =3
> 
> 
> But anyways...
> ...
> I read a lot of pamphlets they have in the office. o.o
> They have a lot of info...
> Too bad my next dr visit isn't until late next month or I would see if they have a website written on them. >.>
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> ...
> I don't think my wall of text is big enough. >.>
> 
> 
> EDIT
> So... if anyone has questions about the shot and side effects and that kinda thing, I'd be more than happy to help either with you posting or PMing me.
> I am not the only one who has been on it. My sister was on it and 4 of my friends were on it... So I got to not only experience it myself, but hear how it effected my friends as well.



Ahhh. Too much information for my brain to take in at once. Dx but yeah. I'm on the depo and here they give you a test every 2 years to make sure you can stay on it and you can stay on it till you're like 40 or something.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> Ahhh. Too much information for my brain to take in at once. Dx but yeah. I'm on the depo and here they give you a test every 2 years to make sure you can stay on it and you can stay on it till you're like 40 or something.


I sorry. TT^TT



xxLollyxx said:


> I don't get why guys are so obsessed with size. I saw someone mentioning the average. Do you guys actually like measure it? Why would you do that? Who do you even share that info with?
> Too big is a problem too. It can hurt and be painful. Do men ever think about that?



It was something someone asked which is why we all started talking about it. XP

Many high school and middle school boys measure and have locker room "competitions" ... and it soooooo irritating to hear about. -dated a jock/weight lifter in high school- But not all of them do.
I guess it makes those little boys feel like men. -rolls eyes-

But yes, large penis sizes can actually hurt someone.
... Just like large breast can actually come up and smack you or your partner in the face and hurt them, just not as painful. ((... has happened to my "very gifted" sister a few times...))
I mostly wanted to express the breast size thing w/ the penis size thing... mostly because I see women obsessed with their breast size as well and feel that people put way too much expectation into the size of their or their partners body parts without actually _really_ thinking about it. XP


----------



## radical6

"Reminder for those who don’t know, if you have a vagina, make sure to urinate immediately after you have P-in-V sex.  Bacteria can get in your urethra during P-in-V intercourse so as soon as you are done having sex, go to the bathroom to pee, even if it doesn’t feel like you need to, because even a little pee can flush out the bacteria and prevent a UTI.  I didn’t know about this and I got a UTI from my first time, and it was super awful and uncomfortable and unfortunately even those with good sex education rarely learn info like this.  I want everyone with a vagina to know how to prevent it because UTIs suck hard.  That is all."

well i didnt know that. good to know i guess


----------



## Kyle

tsundere said:


> "Reminder for those who don’t know, if you have a vagina, make sure to urinate immediately after you have P-in-V sex.  Bacteria can get in your urethra during P-in-V intercourse so as soon as you are done having sex, go to the bathroom to pee, even if it doesn’t feel like you need to, because even a little pee can flush out the bacteria and prevent a UTI.  I didn’t know about this and I got a UTI from my first time, and it was super awful and uncomfortable and unfortunately even those with good sex education rarely learn info like this.  I want everyone with a vagina to know how to prevent it because UTIs suck hard.  That is all."
> 
> well i didnt know that. good to know i guess



Also applies to guys, but most get the need to go naturally so it's not so bad.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

tsundere said:


> "Reminder for those who don’t know, if you have a vagina, make sure to urinate immediately after you have P-in-V sex.  Bacteria can get in your urethra during P-in-V intercourse so as soon as you are done having sex, go to the bathroom to pee, even if it doesn’t feel like you need to, because even a little pee can flush out the bacteria and prevent a UTI.  I didn’t know about this and I got a UTI from my first time, and it was super awful and uncomfortable and unfortunately even those with good sex education rarely learn info like this.  I want everyone with a vagina to know how to prevent it because UTIs suck hard.  That is all."
> 
> well i didnt know that. good to know i guess



Thanks for bringing this up. I've been meaning to mention about this. That's why I'm stuck with a kidney infection right now and trust me, you don't want one of those.

Also if you have any kind of UTI then don't have sex until you finish taking all your antibiotics. It can just make it worse so it will take longer to recover. I read a few times that if you have sex when you have a kidney infection you can die. Can someone tell me if this is true or not?

Oh and some other things you can't have while you have a UTI is ANYTHING with sugar. When I say anything I mean even things that have natural sugar like oranges because the bacteria feeds on sugar.
Drink plenty of water and if you can, sugar free cranberry juice.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> Thanks for bringing this up. I've been meaning to mention about this. That's why I'm stuck with a kidney infection right now and trust me, you don't want one of those.
> 
> Also if you have any kind of UTI then don't have sex until you finish taking all your antibiotics. It can just make it worse so it will take longer to recover. I read a few times that if you have sex when you have a kidney infection you can die. Can someone tell me if this is true or not?
> 
> Oh and some other things you can't have while you have a UTI is ANYTHING with sugar. When I say anything I mean even things that have natural sugar like oranges because the bacteria feeds on sugar.
> Drink plenty of water and if you can, sugar free cranberry juice.



... I never heard of the "no sugar" when you have a UTI. 
Good info.
And there are a lot of home remedies if you can't afford the antibiotics.
I thought I actually had a UTI, but when I went to the doctor, it actually already got to the Kidney Infection without me knowing... And it wasn't from sex, I think it was something to do with my tampons... I can't remember, but UTI's are actually pretty common thing outside of sex.
So, I felt your pain... They reallllly suck.
But, I have never heard of you could die from having sex when you have it... I know if untreated then it can cause permanent damage to your Kidneys.

ANYWAYS
The antibiotics were too expensive, and I had no insurance at the time. But I mean, I had to get rid of the Kidney Infection...
At home stuff is drinking lots of water, and ONLY water, and eat a few hand fulls of cranberries a day... I don't like cranberries, but I like craisins ((dried out cranberries kinda like raisins)) which is what I ate.
It took longer than if you would actually take the antibiotics, but if you can't afford them... then... yeah. XP


ON A SIDE NOTE
While trying to look up the whole die thing... I found this... Something I did not know...
*"Recent spermicide use. Women with kidney infections were almost twice as likely to have recently used a spermicide. "*
source :: http://www.webmd.com/news/20050105/sex-affects-womens-kidney-infection-risk
I also hit on some other topics of ways to get it ... like...
_"Frequent sexual intercourse. Frequent sexual intercourse (greater than three times per week) over the last 30 days was found to increase the risk of kidney infections more than fivefold. "_
... Which made me insanely shocked myself and most of my friends haven't had Kidney Infections from sex. XP
But, I always pee'd after sex and I think most of them do, too.

- - - Post Merge - - -

*OH!!! If you have a kidney infection, whatever you do, don't drink sweet ice tea. And the stuff can actually CAUSE a kidney infection, too!*
When I was little I use to drink nothing but that pretty much... and IT gave me a kidney infection TWICE. I was too little to understand at the time, but basically I am no longer allowed to drink sweet ice tea ((and it maybe all tea actually)) per doctors orders.
I still cheat sometimes and maybe once a month or every other month, make a pitcher of tea for my husband and I, but very rarely.
I think it did actually do some damage to my kidneys? Maybe that is why I am completely forbidden to have the stuff? I don't know. I was like... 5 or something. People lie to you at that age to make things not as scary. XP
Only people who could tell me if it was damaging are either dead or won't tell me since they don't probably want me asking questions about how they accidentally over dosed me twice when I was little, too. XP
My family is a much of liars who cover stuff up to much. XP


----------



## Siren137

I have never heard of having sex with a kidney infection killing you! Sounds weird to me! 

It is true that you can get kidney and urinal infections through things other than sex. I had a really bad one earlier this year, my kidneys were in such distress that they took fluids from my eyes and my brain! That is extreme though, normally it hurts to pee etc. you can also get something called cystitis which makes you want to pee all the time but you can't go and it stings like a you know what! They call it honeymoon disease as you often get it when you are having lots of sex. Peeing after sex helps and you can buy sachets of powder that you mix with water and drink which helps to reduce the acidity in your pee which relieves the pain. 
Never heard of tea causing it! I drink a crazy amount of tea and have no issues there! Maybe it's certain people or certain tea?


----------



## Caius

You can literally die from almost anything. Having sex with someone with a kidney infection isn't going to blow up the chances, but if the partner has something (even something minor) that puts extra load on already infected kidneys, they're gonna have a bad time. It's common sense.

Earlier this year I was in the hospital for a plethora of issues and my liver started shutting down. Theoretically it's the same thing basically, part of the immune system. If I were to come into contact with someone that had something, it would have finished the job.

Kidneys and Liver are nothing to mess around with. If you're sick, don't fool around. It's not worth it.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Siren137 said:


> I have never heard of having sex with a kidney infection killing you! Sounds weird to me!
> 
> It is true that you can get kidney and urinal infections through things other than sex. I had a really bad one earlier this year, my kidneys were in such distress that they took fluids from my eyes and my brain! That is extreme though, normally it hurts to pee etc. you can also get something called cystitis which makes you want to pee all the time but you can't go and it stings like a you know what! They call it honeymoon disease as you often get it when you are having lots of sex. Peeing after sex helps and you can buy sachets of powder that you mix with water and drink which helps to reduce the acidity in your pee which relieves the pain.
> Never heard of tea causing it! I drink a crazy amount of tea and have no issues there! Maybe it's certain people or certain tea?



Maybe certain age group, too.
I mean, I was like 5 or younger when it gave me 1 twice.
Like how you don't give babies apple juice but younger kids can do just fine with apple juice kinda thing. XP
But still, if you have one it maybe better to avoid tea just in case. XP


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Thanks everyone. I didn't think you could die but just wanted to make sure. 
Oh another thing I read is that if you are on antibiotics for a kidney infection make sure you definitely use a condom because the antibiotics can mess up things like the pill and depo so all that contraception doesn't work. I have only read this so I don't know if it's a fact but best to be safe anyway because those antibiotics do mess with you.


----------



## ButterCookies

Siren137 said:


> I have never heard of having sex with a kidney infection killing you! Sounds weird to me!
> 
> It is true that you can get kidney and urinal infections through things other than sex. I had a really bad one earlier this year, my kidneys were in such distress that they took fluids from my eyes and my brain! That is extreme though, normally it hurts to pee etc. you can also get something called cystitis which makes you want to pee all the time but you can't go and it stings like a you know what! They call it honeymoon disease as you often get it when you are having lots of sex. Peeing after sex helps and you can buy sachets of powder that you mix with water and drink which helps to reduce the acidity in your pee which relieves the pain.
> Never heard of tea causing it! I drink a crazy amount of tea and have no issues there! Maybe it's certain people or certain tea?



My mum gets Cystitis if she drinks too much tea, but she's fine if she drinks it in moderate amounts. 

I've heard that cranberry juice and baking soda (not necessarily together, although I wouldn't recommend actually using baking soda as I've done that before when I had Cystitis and man... stuff's gross.) also help as it "cleans out" the Cystitis. I think it just makes you pee, thus getting rid of the infection. And from what I've read you should avoid tea when you have it, as I remember because of the caffeine in it (you shouldn't drink or eat anything with caffeine in it when you have a UTI).

- - - Post Merge - - -



Fearthecuteness said:


> Thanks everyone. I didn't think you could die but just wanted to make sure.
> Oh another thing I read is that if you are on antibiotics for a kidney infection make sure you definitely use a condom because the antibiotics can mess up things like the pill and depo so all that contraception doesn't work. I have only read this so I don't know if it's a fact but best to be safe anyway because those antibiotics do mess with you.



That's true! Antibiotics can indeed mess up the way the pill works, but you're best asking your Doctor about that if you're prescribed them as there are tons of different kinds of pills that work differently. I'm not sure how it is with other things like the implant so you may want to ask a Doctor or someone else may come along and shed light on that!


----------



## Fearthecuteness

So. . . . Has anyone had anything they've been wanting to know?


----------



## Fearthecuteness

One last bump.
Also remember you can always pm me if it's something you don't want anyone to know about. 

Oh and everyone let me know if you have anymore useful links.


----------



## Leanne

Okie I am once again embarrassed to post in this thread. I was going to PM another girl here but I don't want to be a bother, so here i will just brush my embarrassment off and ask away. ><

A few days after I asked my first question here (I think that's like a month ago now?), I managed to get a tiny vibrator and a small bottle of lube. The vibrator is small, just a little bit bigger than my index finger at most.

When I first posted in this thread, I said that I could only rub down there but never inserted any fingers. I was able to change that and it felt great but for some reason I am scared to do the same with the vibrator. I have discovered that just letting the vibrator vibrate on top of my... >< clit feels great, but I really am scared of putting the vibrator in. Is this normal? I had spent a long time looking for a starting vibrator small enough to what I think will feel good but even then I don't dare to put it in. It feels like it's going to slide right in with the lube but even then I just can't. I want to experience this, but I don't know why I am scared of doing it.


----------



## KarlaKGB

Just take it easy, you're in full control.


----------



## oath2order

Its been two years for me.


----------



## Brackets

I really want to get on contraception soon, but the Pill (think it was millinette) made me go crazy and depressed (so I stopped taking it). So I was thinking getting the coil (IUD), but I've heard horror stories about when they first go in and getting 3 month periods and stuff, and it's around exam time and straight after (beginning of June) I'm going backpacking so I really don't want a crazy-long period! 
So my other option would maybe be the mini pill or the implant.
 Anyone have any experience with these?


----------



## Elov

Hallie said:


> I really want to get on contraception soon, but the Pill (think it was millinette) made me go crazy and depressed (so I stopped taking it). So I was thinking getting the coil (IUD), but I've heard horror stories about when they first go in and getting 3 month periods and stuff, and it's around exam time and straight after (beginning of June) I'm going backpacking so I really don't want a crazy-long period!
> So my other option would maybe be the mini pill or the implant.
> Anyone have any experience with these?


I'm probably not the best person to answer this question because the only contraception I've ever had any experiences with is the pill. I think maybe you just got a type that doesn't work with your body. Because I use the pill as well and never really had any crazy reaction. But everyone is different, so you have to find something that's right for you. I've read things about the mini pill perhaps it'll be fine if you want it to just control your periods, but when used for birth control it's not as great as the normal pill. Because I've heard you have to take it at the exact time every single day. The normal pill is a bit more forgiving. Anyways good luck finding a method that's right for you. But I'd seriously think you should just talk to your doctor about your strange symptoms, and maybe he/she can prescribe you to something different. c:


----------



## Jake

i take the pill and it stops me growing facial hair 

lauren has a contraception implant i think??? i'm pre sure thats not the IUD so maybe u could try that??


----------



## Stevey Queen

Jake. said:


> i take the pill and it stops me growing facial hair



Is this legit? I need this in my life


----------



## Jake

LoveMcQueen said:


> Is this legit? I need this in my life



well i've been taking it since march and ive only had to shave once so...


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Hallie said:


> I really want to get on contraception soon, but the Pill (think it was millinette) made me go crazy and depressed (so I stopped taking it). So I was thinking getting the coil (IUD), but I've heard horror stories about when they first go in and getting 3 month periods and stuff, and it's around exam time and straight after (beginning of June) I'm going backpacking so I really don't want a crazy-long period!
> So my other option would maybe be the mini pill or the implant.
> Anyone have any experience with these?



You should go see your doctor about this and talk to him/her. I know people who have had bad experences with the pill and have been given a different one. Even though the one you're taking right now doesn't work so well for you there are others that could work fine. I don't know much about the coil besides the fact that even the name of it freaks me out but the experience I had with the implant wasn't good. I was contantly having periods so I had to take the pill with it just to stop myself bleeding. I'm not exagertaing either because the periods litterally wouldn't stop at all until I took the pill. My sister had the same problem with me but other people I know didn't have any problems with it. What works for one person may not work for another person. The one I'm on right now is the depo (injection) and it's worked so well for me I haven't had any periods since I started having this one done.

My advice would be just to get your doctor to prescribe you a different pill for now instead of getting a long term contraception. At least until your exams are finished and then experiment with other contraceptions. That way you know that you won't have a long side effect and it can be stopped easily.


----------



## KarlaKGB

When I think of the coil:


----------



## DJStarstryker

KarlaKGB said:


> When I think of the coil



GAH. Yeah, that's pretty much what I imagine those things to be like too. Nightmare fodder, that is. >_<


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Hallie said:


> I really want to get on contraception soon, but the Pill (think it was millinette) made me go crazy and depressed (so I stopped taking it). So I was thinking getting the coil (IUD), but I've heard horror stories about when they first go in and getting 3 month periods and stuff, and it's around exam time and straight after (beginning of June) I'm going backpacking so I really don't want a crazy-long period!
> So my other option would maybe be the mini pill or the implant.
> Anyone have any experience with these?



Speak with your doctor. There so many different types of BC pills that it is insane from name brands to generics to slight ingredient changes to who knows what.
It may have been a specific ingredient that was inside that pill that effected you negatively.
Knowing the name of the pill and the time line of when things started "going down hill" definitely helps doctors pin-point what may have caused that side effect.

Also, any medications you already take can cause adverse side effects or can worsen already there side effects.

For myself, any of the BC pills with estrogen is a big no-no since it can triggers migraines in myself.
And I just got put on new medication for my migraines that even says in it's little booklet that it makes BC less effective if it is ingested orally ((meaning if I was talking BC pills that would be much less effect with my current medication)) ... So it is very important to ask questions.

I am currently on the shot. Which does have a lot of the bleeding problem you are worried about with "the coil" ((which btw I have never heard of it called that XP)) but I can tell you with the shot, I bleed every. single. day. for the first 90-120 so days ((avg is I think 60-90 to have spotting almost every day?)) but it was not like period bleeding. It was like I could wear a panty liner all day or maybe have to change it once all day and be fine kinda thing. 
On a side note :: BUT DON'T DO THAT. Any time you use the restroom, always change panty liners/pads even if they aren't full. ^^'

But if you ask your doctor, the bleeding that you are worried about, maybe just a small spotting problem... not full blown period bleeding.
I also refuse to go onto the IUD or the Implant ((arm))... I know people who have had them and I also have done my own research into them. Because I have chronic migraines... most BC is unsafe for myself because I have a very extreme risk of it giving me stroke... even being only in my early 20's. ^^' IUD, Implant, and Shot were things labeled kinda "safe" for me and put onto the table. 

With the IUD and Implant COMPARED to the Shot, if you would get pregnant ((which these three are said to be more effective than pill/patch since it is easier for other things to influence the effectiveness of the pill/patch)) that is is more likely to be a tubal. Which... dealing with a tubal pregnancy is a huge mess and I'm already tocaphobic. I doubt I could mentally or emotionally handle something like that.
That was a big determining factor for me going with the shot instead.


----------



## Brackets

Thank you for all the answers guys  I will have a think and go to the doctors


----------



## matt

Jake. said:


> well i've been taking it since march and ive only had to shave once so...



Take the pill and men turn into women. Use it for an emergency sex change.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Jake. said:


> well i've been taking it since march and ive only had to shave once so...



Hope you enjoy getting boobs.


----------



## Jake

Fearthecuteness said:


> Hope you enjoy getting boobs.


umm i already have boobs


----------



## Fearthecuteness

I think that's usually a sign you need to loose weight. :/


----------



## Zeiro

Jake is transgender. Please be respectful.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought he meant he had moobs. Lol


----------



## Jake

Reizo said:


> Jake is transgender. Please be respectful.


aww ty you know me so well thank you 
i am happy you remember



Fearthecuteness said:


> I think that's usually a sign you need to loose weight. :/





Fearthecuteness said:


> Oh, I didn't know that. I thought he meant he had moobs. Lol


its ok i forgive you


----------



## Lauren

Jake. said:


> i take the pill and it stops me growing facial hair
> 
> lauren has a contraception implant i think??? i'm pre sure thats not the IUD so maybe u could try that??



*facepalm*
Why was I an example >.>


----------



## oath2order

Lauren said:


> *facepalm*
> Why was I an example >.>



Only person he knew?


----------



## Kaireevee

Hallie said:


> I really want to get on contraception soon, but the Pill (think it was millinette) made me go crazy and depressed (so I stopped taking it). So I was thinking getting the coil (IUD), but I've heard horror stories about when they first go in and getting 3 month periods and stuff, and it's around exam time and straight after (beginning of June) I'm going backpacking so I really don't want a crazy-long period!
> So my other option would maybe be the mini pill or the implant.
> Anyone have any experience with these?



The implant constantly had me on my period, I got like a days break so I got taken off that straight away! And now I'm on the depo injections which works quite well after my 3rd jab I shouldn't be having periods anymore

- - - Post Merge - - -



Siren137 said:


> I have never heard of having sex with a kidney infection killing you! Sounds weird to me!
> 
> It is true that you can get kidney and urinal infections through things other than sex. I had a really bad one earlier this year, my kidneys were in such distress that they took fluids from my eyes and my brain! That is extreme though, normally it hurts to pee etc. you can also get something called cystitis which makes you want to pee all the time but you can't go and it stings like a you know what! They call it honeymoon disease as you often get it when you are having lots of sex. Peeing after sex helps and you can buy sachets of powder that you mix with water and drink which helps to reduce the acidity in your pee which relieves the pain.
> Never heard of tea causing it! I drink a crazy amount of tea and have no issues there! Maybe it's certain people or certain tea?



I've drank tea since I was little and I've never had an issue with it either -shrugs


----------



## AppleCracker

Why do we have to do all this just for another person to be born? *smashes face on keyboard*


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

AppleCracker said:


> Why do we have to do all this just for another person to be born? *smashes face on keyboard*



... well you don't.
There is always artificial insemination.

It is something a friend of mine had to do a lot of research in... not because she didn't have a partner, but because she had something known as a "hazardous uterus" among other things that labeled her medically infertile.
It is really an amazing story but they were going to take one of her eggs and her husband's sperm and were going to then implant the fertilized eggs into one of our other friends who going to serve as a surrogate for them.
It was really touching...
But before any of it really went into motion...
A miracle happened and she got pregnant and her uterus didn't kill it... it was a very high at risk pregnancy... but the miracle baby survived. ^-^

Anyway... my point is...
That you don't even have to have sex to carry a child and give birth to one.
And they don't even have to be even yours to carry a child and give birth to one.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Ok... I'm for breastfeeding... I'm not to say I'm not exactly the biggest advocate on just openly breastfeeding in public with no cover but I found this online and thought it was kind of... interesting.
Opinions?
*PHOTOS SHOULD BE FINE SINCE NOTHING SHOWS ITS A BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT THAT BLOCKS OUT*
But I will gladly remove if anyone feels uncomfortable.


Spoiler
















I've actually kinda considered writing to Victoria Secret about making nursing/maternity bras... since those women especially deserve to feel beautiful and comfortable...
And I know sooner or later I will get pregnant and I will be interested in breastfeeding ((I'm cheap as hell and formula cost money lmao. XP)) and VS is literally the ONLY store in over 100miles from my home that carries my size. And it's not even that strange of a size... and boobs tend to get bigger when you breastfeed.
And I hate dealing with online stores because sometimes their returns process is really shady...

But after seeing the photo gif... And remembering most of the service I get when I get in there... I think me asking something like that would be a really dumb question...


----------



## Fearthecuteness

I saw that the other week. I find that completely ridiculous. Why have we come to a time when it's meant to be shameful to breast feed our in public? So you're just meant to let the child starve. I don't think it's wrong when I see a woman breast feeding in public I just think she's most likely a good mother because:
-For start it's better for them, especially when they're first born because that's the most important time to breast feed them. 
-they think that the babies needs are more important than what anyone is going to think of them. 
-it's the best way you can bond with the baby

I know that some women can't breast feed by no fault of their own so I'm not including them in this but I think if you choose not to breast feed your child you shouldn't behaving kids because you clearly care more about what other people think of them than their babies' needs and that's just wrong. 

I have so much respect for some who breast feed in public.


----------



## LaCie

I had a very strong debate with a guy from my college who was being a tad mean about women breast feeding in public and my argument was, what if a) you're on a day out and are gone longer than expected and run out of bottles? You have breast milk right there! You aren't going to starve your child, that's ridiculous and b) breast feeding will have been happening with our ancestors so it's not wrong, some people just like to have some control but unfortunately for you kiddas not gonna happen

- - - Post Merge - - -

Oh and most women tend to be discreet when doing it, so if it bothers you that much then.....don't look?!!! Oh my gosh!


----------



## baileyanne94

Ohh great thread! I love talking about sex and giving advice. I don't get to do that much.

I don't have much to say about the current breast-feeding discussion but come on, are people really so selfish that they have to put their own personal problems with it above an infant's needs?


----------



## baileyanne94

Here's a potential topic I'm struggling a bit with; any advice on instigating sex, especially as a girl? I feel like I can contribute more with my fianc?, I think I feel a little shy to instigate for some reason and just wait for him.

*sorry to double post, guess I should've known it wouldn't post merge.


----------



## Jake

baileyanne94 said:


> Here's a potential topic I'm struggling a bit with; any advice on instigating sex, especially as a girl? I feel like I can contribute more with my fianc?, I think I feel a little shy to instigate for some reason and just wait for him.
> 
> *sorry to double post, guess I should've known it wouldn't post merge.



u just gotta get up on him and ride him like a mechanical bull.

maybe before you start play some music to get you into the mood (Push It by Salt N Pepa is a good choice i have used in the past)

get on some sexy lingerie and then put a robe over it and thats when you play the music and then you seductively take off your robe and grind up against his body.

stop being shy you are strong powerful woman you can holla at jesus if you want to u got nothing to be shy about!!


----------



## baileyanne94

Jake. said:


> u just gotta get up on him and ride him like a mechanical bull.
> 
> maybe before you start play some music to get you into the mood (Push It by Salt N Pepa is a good choice i have used in the past)
> 
> get on some sexy lingerie and then put a robe over it and thats when you play the music and then you seductively take off your robe and grind up against his body.
> 
> stop being shy you are strong powerful woman you can holla at jesus if you want to u got nothing to be shy about!!



Ahahahahahaha ah you're a hoot, thank you for the encouraging words, it's really sweet 
I'm weird about music, like I'm not sure if it's something I'd ever want, maybe it feels awkward to me. And I don't know if I could take Push It seriously because of a movie haha. I did buy lingerie once but it looked nothing like the picture and wound up looking like a big black onesy and pushed my boobs downward and everything, I didn't even show him, but definitely in the future I will. I have mixed feelings at times about a lot of kissing so that may be something that holds me back too. I could probably treat him to cowgirl more since it's his favorite but it's always hot where we live and I hate feeling sweat under my thighs haha.

Again, thank you : ) hahahahaha.


----------



## Jake

baileyanne94 said:


> Ahahahahahaha ah you're a hoot, thank you for the encouraging words, it's really sweet
> I'm weird about music, like I'm not sure if it's something I'd ever want, maybe it feels awkward to me. And I don't know if I could take Push It seriously because of a movie haha. I did buy lingerie once but it looked nothing like the picture and wound up looking like a big black onesy and pushed my boobs downward and everything, I didn't even show him, but definitely in the future I will. I have mixed feelings at times about a lot of kissing so that may be something that holds me back too. I could probably treat him to cowgirl more since it's his favorite but it's always hot where we live and I hate feeling sweat under my thighs haha.
> 
> Again, thank you : ) hahahahaha.



ok if youre feelin weird about the music then first song you should try is Like A Virgin by Madonna its very metaphorical for the situation you feel me then you work your way up with different songs


----------



## baileyanne94

Jake. said:


> ok if youre feelin weird about the music then first song you should try is Like A Virgin by Madonna its very metaphorical for the situation you feel me then you work your way up with different songs



Haha thank you, you're making me laugh but also making feel more confident so thanks.  Recently I thought maybe we were going to with music just because the it was low in the background but who knows, we haven't had sex in an unusually long time (week or two), but luckily it's not for any reason in particular. Like we can obviously enjoy time together without having sex, I guess we've both had other things on our minds and the previous week and a half I felt tired almost every day. Overall though I'm seeking to contribute more, thank you again! : )


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

baileyanne94 said:


> Haha thank you, you're making me laugh but also making feel more confident so thanks.  Recently I thought maybe we were going to with music just because the it was low in the background but who knows, we haven't had sex in an unusually long time (week or two), but luckily it's not for any reason in particular. Like we can obviously enjoy time together without having sex, I guess we've both had other things on our minds and the previous week and a half I felt tired almost every day. Overall though I'm seeking to contribute more, thank you again! : )



I feel you with the lingerie...
I love it... but they look nothing like the photos... I ordered this one online and when I got it... well... the bottom part, I don't care, had to be made for a male because it had this huge bulge for a male. XP
... but depending your size i could totally reference you to this one website via PM ((I'm 5'6" 130-140lb and most of their lingerie works for me)) ... I've ordered some stuff and it was only like $5 a piece so if it didn't fit right it was only like $5? it isn't shipping isn't like LOOK AT ME I BOUGHT LINGERIE!! and has cute clothes and jewelry on there too. But since I'm 5'6" I've found some of their cute tops are kinda short on me... I too lazy to measure even tho the provide measurements. =3

ANYWAYS
There is always small things that can lead into sex... like a kiss that leads into a long kiss that leads into a long kiss with a hand the starts rubbing his leg... or "upper leg" ^.~
Just turn on a movie... one you guys have seen or one you maybe kinda interested in but doesn't have the greatest ratings so it's not like you guys would really miss anything. Maybe a netflix one so you can always re-watch it if you want, too.
That way it just wouldn't be awkward silence that is making you hear your heart race... and the "put in the mood" music for unconfident people may even make you feel uneasy or pressured and just make you panic instead of actually making it easier.

Also, when instigating sometimes it's better to have the needed supplies close on hand to help keep the mood going.
If you and you partner use condoms, maybe have it in your pocket ((though it is best not to keep condoms in your pockets! the friction can cause tears! if you are planning on wearing like jeans or moving a lot before it would be removed, _do.not.put.in.pocket._ ... if in the living room maybe out it sneakily under the couch XP)) and if you will need lube grab it too ((hell hide it under the couch with the condom! XP)) 
... wanna even play with some toys? ... bring them too to be ready... but don't hide them under the couch or anywhere unclean like I suggested with the condom or lube since getting an infection and having to take meds to deal with it is not cool. ^^'

Oh... and for sweating and thighs...
If you put lotion on... don't put lotion on that day... your legs sweat more when you put lotion on. XP


----------



## baileyanne94

fallenchaoskitten said:


> I feel you with the lingerie...
> I love it... but they look nothing like the photos... I ordered this one online and when I got it... well... the bottom part, I don't care, had to be made for a male because it had this huge bulge for a male. XP
> ... but depending your size i could totally reference you to this one website via PM ((I'm 5'6" 130-140lb and most of their lingerie works for me)) ... I've ordered some stuff and it was only like $5 a piece so if it didn't fit right it was only like $5? it isn't shipping isn't like LOOK AT ME I BOUGHT LINGERIE!! and has cute clothes and jewelry on there too. But since I'm 5'6" I've found some of their cute tops are kinda short on me... I too lazy to measure even tho the provide measurements. =3
> 
> ANYWAYS
> There is always small things that can lead into sex... like a kiss that leads into a long kiss that leads into a long kiss with a hand the starts rubbing his leg... or "upper leg" ^.~
> Just turn on a movie... one you guys have seen or one you maybe kinda interested in but doesn't have the greatest ratings so it's not like you guys would really miss anything. Maybe a netflix one so you can always re-watch it if you want, too.
> That way it just wouldn't be awkward silence that is making you hear your heart race... and the "put in the mood" music for unconfident people may even make you feel uneasy or pressured and just make you panic instead of actually making it easier.
> 
> Also, when instigating sometimes it's better to have the needed supplies close on hand to help keep the mood going.
> If you and you partner use condoms, maybe have it in your pocket ((though it is best not to keep condoms in your pockets! the friction can cause tears! if you are planning on wearing like jeans or moving a lot before it would be removed, _do.not.put.in.pocket._ ... if in the living room maybe out it sneakily under the couch XP)) and if you will need lube grab it too ((hell hide it under the couch with the condom! XP))
> ... wanna even play with some toys? ... bring them too to be ready... but don't hide them under the couch or anywhere unclean like I suggested with the condom or lube since getting an infection and having to take meds to deal with it is not cool. ^^'
> 
> Oh... and for sweating and thighs...
> If you put lotion on... don't put lotion on that day... your legs sweat more when you put lotion on. XP



Ugh, sorry about that lingerie incident -_- I suppose it was ok since it was $20 (kinda sucks but I won't cry over that amount...) the pictures made it seem like it was I guess actually skin-tight, but I have a curvy back and it kinda indents above my butt, and instead of showing that off, it went straight down, kinda like when you're busty but you wear a shirt that your boobs stretch out and makes you look like you have more of a tummy than you really do, so that was awful. I may try out the place you were talking about at some point, it'd be nice if lingerie wasn't misleading. I hate places like Victoria's secret or Frederick's because their D or bigger bra sizes don't even fit someone with that cup size. I've gained weight since I graduated high school (as if graduating wasn't hard enough, it seems like the minute after I walked across the stage I gained weight and now have to try and keep my HS body from completely vanishing lol...it's so unfair.) but the band of a D or DD bra should still fit me, and the cups shouldn't smash my chest, it's ridiculous. During the time I worked at JCPenney, too, we started carrying a Cosmopolitan brand and that line's D cup was more like a B. Ridiculous. Hahaha society glorifies big breasts but can't even make good bras to accommodate them. I absolutely detest bra shopping.

 Anyway though, I'm totally cool with you sending me that link, thanks a lot  I'm 5"6-5"7 so maybe something will work. From what I've seen that height isn't exactly tall, but it's taller than a lot of girls.


And thanks for your help with the instigating! Even though I started going to the gym a couple months ago I still get sleep easily so that's probably what makes me lazy about instigating. We've been best friends for a long time and have been together about 3 years and have been having sex most of that time, so I think we've already fallen into being used to it. There are definitely times where it's better than others but nothing beats when you're just starting out and everything is brand new : ) During cleaning the other day I found an old journal from high school where I read about our first kiss and being over at his house and him fondling my breasts and our first time doing oral sex, (it's nice to have those memories, it makes me feel lovey dovey haha) I think I did more instigating things when I was a little younger, I'm sure my younger self would be disappointed now haha but life is crazy, but I do feel like there's more I can do. We've always used the pull-out method and I'm still baby-less thankfully (I think it's more useful than people give credit for, but I think younger people at least should definitely use condoms), we use condoms once in a blue moon and do have them but I hate the smell of the lube and it makes me all oily, it's gross and I hate having that stuff inside me. I think we had different ones that didn't smell so bad but the outer slippery-ness they leave still sucks. And thanks for the advice with the lotion, usually I only use lotion when I wanna have a lasting nice smell for an interview or an outing or something. One of the reasons we wanna live in a colder climate is so things like that happen less haha.

Toy-wise, I was always interested in a dildo and actually got my first one a few days ago. I'm not crazy about it, but it may be because I know how much better the real thing is. I'm glad it was cheap though. He wanted me to bring it the other day but I honestly said it wasn't worth it, kinda like if you're at a party and you have the option to have real cake or plastic cake, which are you gonna choose?


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

*@ baileyanne94*
Too much of a wall for me just to quote. XP
I'll send you a PM to the website... and it's based I think in Asia with short models... so 5'6" is tall for them which is why the shirts are kinda shorter than how they are pictured on the models. XP
But they do provide measurements for all the garments ((linger as well!)) I think so you can even measure yourself to get an idea for yourself before you buy. =3

Bra shopping is awful... I wear a 32 D/DD ((which I maybe needing to go to a 30DD... I have more of a pear shape with a small rib cage...))... and NO WHERE within 100+miles of my home carries that size but Victoria Secret.
But if you are having a lot of trouble and have recently being gaining and losing weight, my guess is you are no longer the same size and probably shopping for the wrong size. You NEVER shop by CUP size. You ALWAYS shop by BAND size. Since your band size determines your cup size. ((helpful youtube video that shows what I mean :: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jk55ep4XUQ )) The band size is the most important thing in a bra. Never compromise it ((VS will try to tell you about "sister sizes" but ignore them!)) since the band is what gives you the most support! And when you have pretty good size breast, you need all the support you can get!

Pull out method really is a horrible method for those who are definitely not ready for kids. Since you have a fiance it's not the end of the world if you get a kid it seems compared to, I don't know... a 14 year old still in school with a flaky boyfriend who is from a low income family? 
*A lot can go wrong with the pull out method*... Like forgetting to pull out, or not pulling out in time, or some dripping down and getting into the vagina, or precum has no seamen but seaman from a previous ejaculation can still be left in the shaft and gets "piggy backed" into the vagina... _It's better to be safe than sorry if you are not wanting a child._

My husband and I have to use lube thanks to a wonderful condition I got thanks to the BC shot. ^^'
... ((the kind we have actually kinda smells like candy))
So be thankful you don't have to use lube. XP
And you can get lube-less condoms. =3

But to each their on toys and such. Personally I don't see the appeal of them either?
I wasn't into masturbation at all to branch out into toys before my husband... The thought of it really just... well... disgusted me. I just have an abnormal bias against the female anatomy and find it really disgusting. I guess I'm lucky my husband doesn't I guess. o.o


----------



## Cartoty555

Interesting convos here hehe


----------



## Appleton

n64king and I should queer it up in here.

But I'm not entirely sure what the verdict of alternative lifestyles and orientations (Gay, Bi, Ace, BDSM, etc.) are within this forum.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Appleton said:


> n64king and I should queer it up in here.
> 
> But I'm not entirely sure what the verdict of alternative lifestyles and orientations (Gay, Bi, Ace, BDSM, etc.) are within this forum.



I don't discriminate on this forum so if you have a question then ask away. Although I'm not too sure about BDSM because I feel people may count that as too much for this forum. Maybe see how everyone responds to this question. Besides that just remember to read the rules before you ask a question. This applies to everyone.


----------



## Zeiro

Appleton said:


> But I'm not entirely sure what the verdict of alternative lifestyles and orientations (Gay, Bi, Ace, BDSM, etc.) are within this forum.


Though there are a few bigots out there, this forum is generally very open and accepting. 

LGBTQA Discussion and Support Thread
LGBTQIA+ Community Group​
You have to wait for approval to join the Group. And I'm not sure about the BDSM lmao.



Fearthecuteness said:


> If you're going to be negative about people's sexuality then I won't allow you to be on here.


----------



## Cyan507

I think we need to change the way we look at sex, relationships and dating in general. I looked at the crushes thread and there are a lot of people that are unsure about asking out someone for the first time. Given the recent acts of misogyny I think boys should be told at a very young age that no means no. A lot of Sex Ed material catered to kids only covers intercourse, contraception and pregnancy. There is a taboo on rape and I feel if the culprits are caught at a younger age the statistics can be altered hugely. What you grow up with shapes you and if you grow believing that forcing someone into sex is wrong, then that will likely stay with you.


----------



## n64king

Appleton said:


> n64king and I should queer it up in here.
> 
> But I'm not entirely sure what the verdict of alternative lifestyles and orientations (Gay, Bi, Ace, BDSM, etc.) are within this forum.



Lol Queer it up. I'm not trying to discuss my goodies and what I'm doing with them, with people on here. 

I was just teasing earlier, in case what I read was someone getting upset. Discuss what you will, that's why the thread is here no?


----------



## oath2order

Fearthecuteness said:


> I don't discriminate on this forum so if you have a question then ask away. Although I'm not too sure about BDSM because I feel people may count that as too much for this forum. Maybe see how everyone responds to this question. Besides that just remember to read the rules before you ask a question. This applies to everyone.


This thread is watched by the mods a lot to make sure it's not too bad.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

oath2order said:


> This thread is watched by the mods a lot to make sure it's not too bad.



That is true but I don't want them to have to delete posts so often they get fed up and block this thread. Although I guess things like that should be fine as long as it's nothing too bad. I have been thinking about it and maybe BDSM should be involved in the thread because if people are going to try new things like that they need to learn about the safety of it first.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm actually in need for advice in this thread. 

When I'm on top during sex my legs start to ache after a while. Does anybody have any advice on how I can stop my legs from aching?


----------



## radical6

dunno if this goes here but tbh i feel really uncomfortable when people compliment my legs or say anything sexual about them. It's really awkward because one guy was like "dem legs" and he was like 17 so im like ummmm but i dont think i can cover them up unless i wear jeans 24/7 so idk what to do.


----------



## KingofHearts

This is very brave of you to make a sex thread. I'm so glad to see after 54 pages its still going.

While I'm no expert on this, I give really good advice on relationships/sex. If anyone has questions feel free to PM me.

I like it when I get compliments on my butt. ;P


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Thanks.


----------



## fallenchaoskitten

Fearthecuteness said:


> I'm actually in need for advice in this thread.
> 
> When I'm on top during sex my legs start to ache after a while. Does anybody have any advice on how I can stop my legs from aching?



You don't have enough leg muscles.
Sex actually requires a lot of effort and can actually build muscle and endurance... but to generalize for a moment, women are for the most part are on bottom and don't have to worry about that as much since they don't have to do as much "work" for their muscles to get sore. ^^'
I mean there are positions my husband and I have tried where he has complained his legs have hurt or were sore and we had to change before. XP

*My advice is to build your leg muscle.* I don't have much trouble on top because I do have leg muscles... I may have like zero upper boy strength but my legs are strong ((despite having bad knees >.>))... Do wall sits, squads, lunges, etc. Just different things to build different muscles throughout your legs. It will give them strength and endurance.
*My 2nd advice is to stretch.* Not really has to be like right before hand but like maybe do morning stretches as a new thing? It will start getting your muscles limber so when it comes to them actually working then they will be less sore during and afterwards... I mean... it's always an awful idea to just start doing a hardcore workout outta nowhere with no warmup stretches. You get sore much easier and could hurt yourself... so it makes sense to start stretching, right?
*My 3rd advice is try different positions while being on top.* Different ones have your legs bending and sitting differently, making different muscles work at different times... I mean we all aren't super woman here. Our legs and our bodies get tired... some positions will naturally be easier on our bodies than others will. Find out when one will be easier on your body and stick to that one kinda for now before branching into the other ones.

- - - Post Merge - - -



tsundere said:


> dunno if this goes here but tbh i feel really uncomfortable when people compliment my legs or say anything sexual about them. It's really awkward because one guy was like "dem legs" and he was like 17 so im like ummmm but i dont think i can cover them up unless i wear jeans 24/7 so idk what to do.



... I'm pretty sure I would have said "and des legs will kick you across your ****ing face if you don't mind your own damn business"
... but that's just me...

It's important to stand up for yourself.
Because one day you may find yourself against a sexual predator... and they pray on those who are quite, mink, and _won't fight back_.
If you stand up and fight back, you are less likely to become another one of the many victims there are today.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Good advice. I have been started walking loads most days (trying to reach my goal) so hopefully I'll gain muscles in my legs.  To be honest I don't think I have enough muscles in any part of my body. Anything that requires the slightest strength I'm awful at. XD


----------



## KarlaKGB

fallenchaoskitten said:


> It's important to stand up for yourself.
> Because one day you may find yourself against a sexual predator... and they pray on those who are quite, mink, and _won't fight back_.
> If you stand up and fight back, you are less likely to become another one of the many victims there are today.



This. Society has become weak, with children being raised with the mindset that their safety is not their responsibility, and that someone else will look after them. When people attempt to give advice to victims of sexual assault on how they can minimise the risk to them, they're accused of victim blaming and misogyny. It's insulting and degrading to be told that as a man, I am a brute and my default behaviour is to rape. Preaching about educating men not to rape is no substitute for taking precautions to ensure your own safety. You may have every right to walk down a street late at night barely clothed and completely drunk, just as I have every right to leave my house unlocked, but you have to recognise there are bad people in the world who will take advantage of vulnerabilities.


----------



## xXObliterationXx

It burns calories as well!


----------



## Fearthecuteness

What does?


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

WEIRDEST THING but- 

I kind of get put off when boyfriend gets all romantic before/during/after. He'll say stuff like 'I love you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you make me so happy' and those are all very nice things to hear, but it breaks my- concentration, I guess you'd say? I mean, he's a lover, and I don't want to tell him not to express himself but- 

I am trying to do things and maintain a mood. He has the rest of the day to tell me that kind of stuff, and I feel the same way but please. ; ;


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Hmm, this is a hard one to help with. Maybe you speak to him about it.


----------



## Sanaki

I personally liked when my boyfriend said that stuff to me during it lol I was even the one who started it.  To each their own, I suppose.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

So. . . Just a bump to remind people this thread is here in case anyone needs help.


----------



## Hai

Uhm, yeah, question: 
How do you not accidentally scratch/bite him/it/whatever you want to call it when giving a blow job? 
Also, any advice?


I can't believe I asked this...


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> WEIRDEST THING but-
> 
> I kind of get put off when boyfriend gets all romantic before/during/after. He'll say stuff like 'I love you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you make me so happy' and those are all very nice things to hear, but it breaks my- concentration, I guess you'd say? I mean, he's a lover, and I don't want to tell him not to express himself but-
> 
> I am trying to do things and maintain a mood. He has the rest of the day to tell me that kind of stuff, and I feel the same way but please. ; ;


This is a bit of a complicated thing... Hard to explain it but I'll try my best.

In my experience I've learned that some people tend to think of sex as being something romantic and intimate. They think of it as "making love" and see sex and love as practically indistinguishable. While other people see sex and romance as being separate things, feeling that sex can definitely feel better when there is a bond between two people, but the pleasure that comes from it is definitely distinct from love. People who can't separate sex and love in their minds tend to feel very strongly about it and may feel hurt or threatened if suggested to do otherwise. While people who think of them separately may find it hard to understand the way those others think, and might feel uncomfortable if someone tries to be too intimate and romantic during sex.

Sex should be satisfying for both you and him, though, so you need to talk with him about it. You just need to be careful and find a way to explain it in a way that makes it clear that it's not because you don't love him, but because you just desire a more carnal and animalistic experience when it comes to sex, and you'd like to save the mushy stuff for later.


----------



## Sanaki

Hai said:


> Uhm, yeah, question:
> How do you not accidentally scratch/bite him/it/whatever you want to call it when giving a blow job?
> Also, any advice?
> 
> 
> I can't believe I asked this...



Lol don't be embarrassed, I also from time to time accidentally scratch or bump with my teeth. Last night it happened, but it didn't hurt him. I suggest possibly opening your mouth more? Maybe use more tongue lol can't believe I'm saying this stuff.


----------



## Hai

Ahri said:


> Lol don't be embarrassed, I also from time to time accidentally scratch or bump with my teeth. Last night it happened, but it didn't hurt him. I suggest possibly opening your mouth more? Maybe use more tongue lol can't believe I'm saying this stuff.



I'll try that, thank you 
It's just kind of so big that it doesn't really fit- wait, I'll stop freaking myself out now.
Just gaaaah >.<


----------



## CookingOkasan

I normally stay away from this thread but I haven't boinked anyone in like 4 months and I'm going to die pretty soon because of it.


----------



## merinda!

CookingOkasan said:


> I normally stay away from this thread but I haven't boinked anyone in like 4 months and I'm going to die pretty soon because of it.



Unless you have no hands, I don't see any major problems?


----------



## CookingOkasan

merinda! said:


> Unless you have no hands, I don't see any major problems?



idk I just need a cutie that will let me go down on her for hours or something.

BYE. CYA. Leaving this thread forever hahahaha

also on the real:

ladies, especially you who are just becoming sexually active... Don't think that oral intimacy is a one way street. If your guy is accepting of oral, you best believe that he should be more than willing to do the same for you.


----------



## MayorMudkip

Hai said:


> Uhm, yeah, question:
> How do you not accidentally scratch/bite him/it/whatever you want to call it when giving a blow job?
> Also, any advice?
> 
> 
> I can't believe I asked this...



Seconding what Ahri said, but just also want to put out there that communication really is key. When I'm going down on my guy I'll frequently ask him if what I'm doing feels good/if her wants me to change anything, etc.  If you're worried you're hurting him or are going to hurt him, ask him to let you know if you do/are, and if he has anything to suggest. Obviously he wants to feel good, so he should be up for telling you what's going to make him feel that way. Also just a general protip (lol, puns) for blowjobs: don't be afraid to use your hands! Using your fingers and your mouth at the same time can be really rad. But the best advice is not to worry! Relax, talk to your partner, and don't be afraid to take your time. It's something you get better at over time.

Edit: the rules are pretty much the same for going down on girls too in case anyone was wondering >>


----------



## Fearthecuteness

I would give the same advice as everyone else here. Communication is the key and I would suggest using more tongue. One thing you could do is use your hands on him like you would with a handjob and just keep licking the tip. That way you definitely won't catch your teeth on him.

On my general links you could go on realtalksexadvice. It's actually a tumblr page but I've seen people post on there about blowjobs. They've given quite a few tips about it too and if you are on tumblr you could always ask them what to do because you can ask them anonymously.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

I can't deal with my control/trust issues. 

I can't handle giving up control, not even a little bit. It's not that I want to 'dominate' him or anything, I just want- to not feel so nervous and have fun, you know? I want it to be awesome for both of us, but I have a hard time staying comfortable. 

Oh, and I have frequent fantasies about other guys. Ha. Because I can control fantasies. They're not real people, so they don't have to be a part of my life afterwards or affect my feelings, you know? 

idk what I'm going for.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Well first of all don't worry. Most people are genuinely dominant or submissive. Someone I know is usually dominant but tried being submissive once and just got bored. Everyone has a preference and different ways of enjoying sex. 

You say you can't handle it if you're not in control but how bad is it? Do you just not enjoy it or is it worse then that? If you really can't handle it that much maybe it's something psychologically that's making you feel like this. 
Have you been in a hurtful relationship in the past?


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Fearthecuteness said:


> Well first of all don't worry. Most people are genuinely dominant or submissive. Someone I know is usually dominant but tried being submissive once and just got bored. Everyone has a preference and different ways of enjoying sex.
> 
> You say you can't handle it if you're not in control but how bad is it? Do you just not enjoy it or is it worse then that? If you really can't handle it that much maybe it's something psychologically that's making you feel like this.
> Have you been in a hurtful relationship in the past?



I had an- and I hate to use this term, but "emotionally abusive" relationship with a girl before? She was not the greatest, but we didn't even get around to having sex, so idk what that's about. 

I just sjghskjg; I try so hard to keep things equal with me and boyfriend. Honestly, I'm scared of getting carried away somehow? Idk. I love him bunches. ; 3; I don't want to scare him, but at the same time, being passive kinda makes me uncomfortable.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

My guess is that is what's caused this. Maybe you should should get some professional help to help you get over the past. That would be my advice anyway. Sorry if I'm not much help. :/


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Fearthecuteness said:


> My guess is that is what's caused this. Maybe you should should get some professional help to help you get over the past. That would be my advice anyway. Sorry if I'm not much help. :/



I am. Lol. Mostly for other things, but that too, kinda. 

You are perfect help. It's nice just to vent sometimes.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Well that's good that you're getting help.  Hope it all goes well.


----------



## Crazy-Gamer

Revolver Ocelot said:


> I had an- and I hate to use this term, but "emotionally abusive" relationship with a girl before? She was not the greatest, but we didn't even get around to having sex, so idk what that's about.
> 
> I just sjghskjg; I try so hard to keep things equal with me and boyfriend. Honestly, I'm scared of getting carried away somehow? Idk. I love him bunches. ; 3; I don't want to scare him, but at the same time, being passive kinda makes me uncomfortable.



what is your ex-gfs name and how many times can i kick her in the face?


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Ocelot are you a girl or guy?


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Hana-Nezumi said:


> Ocelot are you a girl or guy?



Last time I checked, I was not a lady.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Okay good because I know more about guy on guy relationships. XD

It sounds like the main thing is that you need to become more comfortable with your bf.
You'll always be a little nervous about sex until you can be casual about it.

Basically you'll know you've reached that level when you don't feel embarrassed if you fart in front of each other. XD

Some possible ways to become more comfortable...

You say you dislike not feeling in control, and that's something you should tell him about, as well as that you don't want him to go on and on about all that mushy romantic stuff, because when you just want to have fun and get your rocks off first. Hopefully he'll be confident enough in his own attractiveness to not feel threatened when you say those things, but if he is, you'll just have to do some reassuring and ego stroking along with it, and do some explaining about why you feel that way.

At some point you probably should also tell him about your fantasies about other guys. Some guys get jealous over that kind of thing... but most understand that it's not a threat. My bf and I actually like to talk about guys we think are hot, and it's funny to see when we agree and when we don't. You'll never be comfortable as long as you're keeping secrets.

Another way to feel more comfortable and in-control is to try forms of intimacy where there isn't one of you "dominating" the other physically. Mutual masturbation, frotting, and good old 69 are great ways to achieve satisfaction without it feeling like one of you is taking control over the other.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Maybe all this advice will help.


----------



## Shimmer

So uh, I want to have sex with my boyfriend but I'm kind of afraid to. I mean, I love him a lot and he loves me and we've seen each other naked and have done other sexual things but I don't know if I'm ready for the real thing. I'm afraid of it hurting so bad.

I'm 20 so it's like, I shouldn't be afraid because a lot of people have already had sex at ages way younger than me so it's kind of embarrassing, to say the least. 

I'm on the pill and have been taking it correctly and we will use a condom but I still get scared of getting pregnant since it CAN happen, though with those methods in tact it's really a low risk. 

Has anyone else felt this way?


----------



## CookingOkasan

Shimmer said:


> So uh, I want to have sex with my boyfriend but I'm kind of afraid to. I mean, I love him a lot and he loves me and we've seen each other naked and have done other sexual things but I don't know if I'm ready for the real thing. I'm afraid of it hurting so bad.
> 
> I'm 20 so it's like, I shouldn't be afraid because a lot of people have already had sex at ages way younger than me so it's kind of embarrassing, to say the least.
> 
> I'm on the pill and have been taking it correctly and we will use a condom but I still get scared of getting pregnant since it CAN happen, though with those methods in tact it's really a low risk.
> 
> Has anyone else felt this way?



I waited a year and a half to have full out sex with my ex lady. She had really similar feelings and fears and we just worked through them on her time, making sure she was completely comfortable and okay with each step.

I think that since you two already have a sexual history, it will be a lot easier than you think.  I assume you already have a pretty good understand of what you're each comfortable with and what each of you enjoy? It may take you a few intimate sessions before you're comfortable trying all the way, if so that's totally cool and I'm sure your boyfriend will be understanding of that. 

Definitely just talk to your boyfriend about it. Sex shouldn't be a guessing game, definitely just talk about it and during!


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Hello, my name is Revolver Ocelot and I have like the most frightening collection of fetishes and even though my lover has asserted that he is, in fact, okay with them, I still hesitate to even bring anything up because I don't want to make it seem like I want to tie up and torture him all the time. I don't!

I love him, so I want him to be comfortable. But I like other things, too? If I scare him or make him uncomfortable, I'll hate myself. 




Shimmer said:


> So uh, I want to have sex with my boyfriend but I'm kind of afraid to. I mean, I love him a lot and he loves me and we've seen each other naked and have done other sexual things but I don't know if I'm ready for the real thing. I'm afraid of it hurting so bad.
> 
> I'm 20 so it's like, I shouldn't be afraid because a lot of people have already had sex at ages way younger than me so it's kind of embarrassing, to say the least.
> 
> I'm on the pill and have been taking it correctly and we will use a condom but I still get scared of getting pregnant since it CAN happen, though with those methods in tact it's really a low risk.
> 
> Has anyone else felt this way?



/pats

I know your feelings. Well, not all of them. If you're not ready, you aren't ready. You don't have to do it right away.


----------



## CookingOkasan

at the same time though sometimes you need to ~freak out~


----------



## katsuragi

i have two question sort of things:

have any of you been involved in a platonic relationship (so not sexual at all) and how did you tell your significant other or were you both only platonically interested in each other before forming the relationship? (if you want you can ask me about my sexuality or whatever to answer this better, i can't promise i'll tell you everything)

and is anyone else only wanting to lose their virginity to someone they're not actually in love with? (again, if you want, you can ask me elaborate on this)

lol that probably made no sense


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

katsuragi said:


> i have two question sort of things:
> 
> have any of you been involved in a platonic relationship (so not sexual at all) and how did you tell your significant other or were you both only platonically interested in each other before forming the relationship? (if you want you can ask me about my sexuality or whatever to answer this better, i can't promise i'll tell you everything)
> 
> and is anyone else only wanting to lose their virginity to someone they're not actually in love with? (again, if you want, you can ask me elaborate on this)
> 
> lol that probably made no sense



Uh. For that first one- are you asexual or aromantic or something? Because I think most relationships start out platonically? But- I mean, if they're interested in a romantic/sexual level and you're not- I. Huh. Well, you should generally be honest, I guess? Do you have a few relationships going on? 

For the second one, it's tempting to get it over with, I guess. Honestly, it doesn't matter how you do it, and you don't even have to if you don't want to. Just make sure it's fun and safe (EMPHASIS ON SAFE) and go for it. If you want a one-night stand, go do it.

Sorry I'm not much help.


----------



## katsuragi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> Uh. For that first one- are you asexual or aromantic or something? Because I think most relationships start out platonically? But- I mean, if they're interested in a romantic/sexual level and you're not- I. Huh. Well, you should generally be honest, I guess? Do you have a few relationships going on?
> 
> For the second one, it's tempting to get it over with, I guess. Honestly, it doesn't matter how you do it, and you don't even have to if you don't want to. Just make sure it's fun and safe (EMPHASIS ON SAFE) and go for it. If you want a one-night stand, go do it.
> 
> Sorry I'm not much help.



hh thank you for answering!

um well basically i'm somewhat romantically attracted to males but i never want to have sex with one, whereas i am happy to have both romantic and sexual relationships with people who identify as female (or have female genitilia for that matter). i have done some 'stuff' with a boy before that i didn't mind doing but i was pretty much pressured into it (i definitely regret this and will never do it again) but we didn't have sexual intercourse. anyway i broke up with him but i wasn't completely honest because i was too scared to tell him that i was only platonically attracted to him.

i guess what i was trying to get across in my question was how to tell people i only want to be romantically involved because i find it really difficult to explain seeing as i don't have an exact label for my sexuality


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Katsuragi, I hate to tell you what to do in your love life, but I think maybe you shouldn't pursue relationships with males then? It's not impossible, but being realistic, it would be _very_ difficult to find a guy who wants to be in a relationship but wouldn't in some way feel bad about the fact that you're only sexually attracted to females and not to him at all.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Revolver Ocelot said:


> Hello, my name is Revolver Ocelot and I have like the most frightening collection of fetishes and even though my lover has asserted that he is, in fact, okay with them, I still hesitate to even bring anything up because I don't want to make it seem like I want to tie up and torture him all the time. I don't!


You say he's okay with the fetishes, but does he say he wants to help you explore them? Don't be shy about it. Talk to him. Just ask him if he wants to try a few things and if he does, then go ahead and try it. Start with the really tame stuff. Clarify beforehand that if he doesn't like what you're doing, all he has to do is say so and you'll stop. As long as you have that agreement, and you know you will stick to it, he is actually the one in control, so there's nothing to worry about! And I'm sure he won't think you think sadistic things like that all the time unless you acted perverted and imposing all day long which I'm sure you don't since you're embarrassed to even bring it up.


----------



## katsuragi

Hana-Nezumi said:


> Katsuragi, I hate to tell you what to do in your love life, but I think maybe you shouldn't pursue relationships with males then? It's not impossible, but being realistic, it would be _very_ difficult to find a guy who wants to be in a relationship but wouldn't in some way feel bad about the fact that you're only sexually attracted to females and not to him at all.



yea tbh i probably won't ever be with a guy again, maybe short term relationships but i'm definitely never looking to marry a man (or marry at all probably) so i guess it doesn't matter that much? i mean if i loved a man that much i think i would eventually become sexually attracted to him... thank u for the advice, it made me think it through a bit more


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

katsuragi said:


> hh thank you for answering!
> 
> um well basically i'm somewhat romantically attracted to males but i never want to have sex with one, whereas i am happy to have both romantic and sexual relationships with people who identify as female (or have female genitilia for that matter). i have done some 'stuff' with a boy before that i didn't mind doing but i was pretty much pressured into it (i definitely regret this and will never do it again) but we didn't have sexual intercourse. anyway i broke up with him but i wasn't completely honest because i was too scared to tell him that i was only platonically attracted to him.
> 
> i guess what i was trying to get across in my question was how to tell people i only want to be romantically involved because i find it really difficult to explain seeing as i don't have an exact label for my sexuality



Like, this is going to be the dumbest answer- 

but do you. You don't need a label, you don't need to apologize for having an- uh "ambiguous" sexuality, and if you're attracted to someone in any way, just- pursue that. Be honest with your partners in the future, though. And definitely, definitely, do not let yourself get pressured into sex. Because you don't owe anyone that, either. 

And in terms of telling them, just tell them you're only interested in romantic stuff, and not so much the sexual aspect of a relationship. Anyone worth being with will understand that, and then you can do what you're comfortable with until, well- whatever, whenever. 

/stumbles off to bed.


----------



## katsuragi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> Like, this is going to be the dumbest answer-
> 
> but do you. You don't need a label, you don't need to apologize for having an- uh "ambiguous" sexuality, and if you're attracted to someone in any way, just- pursue that. Be honest with your partners in the future, though. And definitely, definitely, do not let yourself get pressured into sex. Because you don't owe anyone that, either.
> 
> And in terms of telling them, just tell them you're only interested in romantic stuff, and not so much the sexual aspect of a relationship. Anyone worth being with will understand that, and then you can do what you're comfortable with until, well- whatever, whenever.
> 
> /stumbles off to bed.



ah thank you so much for all the /advice/ you've given me, i guess i'm just fairly confused but the way you've confirmed a lot, some that i was aware of and some that was new, has made things more clear for me.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Hana-Nezumi said:


> You say he's okay with the fetishes, but does he say he wants to help you explore them? Don't be shy about it. Talk to him. Just ask him if he wants to try a few things and if he does, then go ahead and try it. Start with the really tame stuff. Clarify beforehand that if he doesn't like what you're doing, all he has to do is say so and you'll stop. As long as you have that agreement, and you know you will stick to it, he is actually the one in control, so there's nothing to worry about! And I'm sure he won't think you think sadistic things like that all the time unless you acted perverted and imposing all day long which I'm sure you don't since you're embarrassed to even bring it up.



akfjakfj; He does want to help me, and it's like- I just can't believe him. Not that he's ever really lied to me. I just- I always kinda have this fear in the back of my mind that I'm going to screw up and he's going to leave me- no matter what he tells me personally. 

As for the fetish stuff- it's like- I'm trying to be open about it, but he's so vanilla that it kinda- I don't think he'll see what I see in it. We've tried some light stuff. Blindfolding, things like that. I don't want to torture him. But like- I do enjoy that sort of thing on a fantasy level, and idk.

akljgakg; throw me in the bin, for i am such trash. The whole thing is a weird...trust issue complex...thing. He's never wronged me, never threatened to leave, dealt with me forever, and it's like- I'm still scared of the smallest thing because I want to keep him. ; n;

- - - Post Merge - - -



katsuragi said:


> ah thank you so much for all the /advice/ you've given me, i guess i'm just fairly confused but the way you've confirmed a lot, some that i was aware of and some that was new, has made things more clear for me.



lol /advice/. 

Sorry, I'm not the best at this kinda thing. I just want you to be happy and healthy, because people deserve that sort of thing.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> akfjakfj; He does want to help me, and it's like- I just can't believe him. Not that he's ever really lied to me. I just- I always kinda have this fear in the back of my mind that I'm going to screw up and he's going to leave me- no matter what he tells me personally.
> 
> As for the fetish stuff- it's like- I'm trying to be open about it, but he's so vanilla that it kinda- I don't think he'll see what I see in it. We've tried some light stuff. Blindfolding, things like that. I don't want to torture him. But like- I do enjoy that sort of thing on a fantasy level, and idk.
> 
> akljgakg; throw me in the bin, for i am such trash. The whole thing is a weird...trust issue complex...thing. He's never wronged me, never threatened to leave, dealt with me forever, and it's like- I'm still scared of the smallest thing because I want to keep him. ; n;


It seems like it's less an issue of the fetishes and more a problem of you being confident in the strength of your relationship. Work on developing trust and faith with your partner. All BDSM and related activities need to be based on a solid foundation of trust and understanding. The only way you'll get to the point is with communication. I know the thought of the person you care about leaving you is always scary but you need to know in your heart that he won't, and if you don't, then you need to talk with him about your feelings and also just give it time for the bond between you to strengthen.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Hana-Nezumi said:


> It seems like it's less an issue of the fetishes and more a problem of you being confident in the strength of your relationship. Work on developing trust and faith with your partner. All BDSM and related activities need to be based on a solid foundation of trust and understanding. The only way you'll get to the point is with communication. I know the thought of the person you care about leaving you is always scary but you need to know in your heart that he won't, and if you don't, then you need to talk with him about your feelings and also just give it time for the bond between you to strengthen.



ily, by the way. In a very platonic and not at all weird way.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> ily, by the way. In a very platonic and not at all weird way.


Aww, thanks, ya sweetie.


----------



## MayorMudkip

I have nothing to add, but I think it's about time this thread be bumped. C:


----------



## GameLaxer

iamnothyper said:


> i was watching laci before and she said something about how the hymen doesnt actually break but just stretches?
> either way i was very confused cause I was always taught that it breaks.



The hymen can either break or stretch depending on certain activities. A lot of times, even before intercourse, the hymen can break just by doing routine activities, such as riding a bike, horseback riding, etc. etc. It can stretch if something is inserted into the vagina, but isn't enough to fully break the hymen; the stretching of the hymen is less common than the actual breaking of the hymen. Also, virginity is not measured by the presence of (or lack thereof) the hymen.

- - - Post Merge - - -



staticistic1114 said:


> well.. when is a first time appropriate? .n.



You are ready to make love for the first time when:
1) You are emotionally ready to make a commitment and it feels right.
2) You are prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions (be them emotional or physical, such as pregnancy).
3) You are at an appropriate age (and the law does not need to be questioned).
4) You have a plan aka CONTRACEPTION, etc.
5) YOU ARE NOT BEING PRESSURED INTO HAVING SEX. Be it peer pressure (wanting to have sex because all of your friends are/say they are) or otherwise (by a partner, etc.).


----------



## XTheLancerX

This stuff is scary, especially when it comes to unwanted attractions and such. I'm a guy, and have found myself becoming more and more bisexual. I don't want to be, at all. In fact, I find a gay relationship just not appealing at all, and just yeah. But I just keep getting drawn to it, and I have no idea why. It feels like this may move on to being a full on gay interests sort of deal, and I just don't want that. I don't really even know what to say. It seems like I'm socially straight for the most part, I have interests in girls, etc, but then sexually, I'm definitely more half and half. It just feels so... Wrong. Yet I feel like I can't do anything to kick myself out of this, and into ordinary sexual and social interests. I suppose I can't exactly be considered bi if I am bothered by the gay sort of thoughts and very mild fantasies, but they definitely are there nonetheless. They coexist with straight thoughts as well, I am just "sexually confused" I guess you could say. ._.


----------



## GameLaxer

X_The_Lancer_X said:


> This stuff is scary, especially when it comes to unwanted attractions and such. I'm a guy, and have found myself becoming more and more bisexual. I don't want to be, at all. In fact, I find a gay relationship just not appealing at all, and just yeah. But I just keep getting drawn to it, and I have no idea why. It feels like this may move on to being a full on gay interests sort of deal, and I just don't want that. I don't really even know what to say. It seems like I'm socially straight for the most part, I have interests in girls, etc, but then sexually, I'm definitely more half and half. It just feels so... Wrong. Yet I feel like I can't do anything to kick myself out of this, and into ordinary sexual and social interests. I suppose I can't exactly be considered bi if I am bothered by the gay sort of thoughts and very mild fantasies, but they definitely are there nonetheless. They coexist with straight thoughts as well, I am just "sexually confused" I guess you could say. ._.



First of all, try not to be so hard on yourself. It's ok to feel what you feel...all feelings are valid, but can be very upsetting at times. Just remember that sexuality is a fluid thing, and there is also a natural aptitude for curiosity. You don't have to figure it out today; just try to go with the flow, even though I know it's really hard because you want to pin down "what you identify as"/who you want to be with. See, there are many different forms of sexuality, but the most important part of it, I believe, is the emotional...see who you're most emotionally AND sexually attracted to. It could vary from person to person, but rather than judge yourself, try to see it as an experiment and you're the constant, while the other person is the variable. I went through the same thing that you are going through...well not exact same since I'm a girl. However, sexuality is a spectrum...and even though societal values almost demands this of us...you don't have to label yourself. Just love whomever you want to love. Be whoever you want to be, and don't let anyone, including yourself, hinder your own happiness just because of cultural, familial, etc. ideals. Does that help a bit?


----------



## London

X_The_Lancer_X said:


> This stuff is scary, especially when it comes to unwanted attractions and such. I'm a guy, and have found myself becoming more and more bisexual. I don't want to be, at all. In fact, I find a gay relationship just not appealing at all, and just yeah. But I just keep getting drawn to it, and I have no idea why. It feels like this may move on to being a full on gay interests sort of deal, and I just don't want that. I don't really even know what to say. It seems like I'm socially straight for the most part, I have interests in girls, etc, but then sexually, I'm definitely more half and half. It just feels so... Wrong. Yet I feel like I can't do anything to kick myself out of this, and into ordinary sexual and social interests. I suppose I can't exactly be considered bi if I am bothered by the gay sort of thoughts and very mild fantasies, but they definitely are there nonetheless. They coexist with straight thoughts as well, I am just "sexually confused" I guess you could say. ._.



You're right, it can be scary. Especially if you're just starting to question your sexuality. I don't have a lot of experience in this department, so I'm going to let someone who_ is_ experienced take over on the advice front.. But I will say this: *you are who you are.* No matter how hard to try to change yourself, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. There's absolutely nothing wrong with bi-sexual fantasies, whether you are straight or not. And don't let *anyone* ever tell you differently <3


----------



## XTheLancerX

londonfog said:


> You're right, it can be scary. Especially if you're just starting to question your sexuality. I don't have a lot of experience in this department, so I'm going to let someone who_ is_ experienced take over on the advice front.. But I will say this: *you are who you are.* No matter how hard to try to change yourself, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. There's absolutely nothing wrong with bi-sexual fantasies, whether you are straight or not. And don't let *anyone* ever tell you differently <3





GameLaxer said:


> First of all, try not to be so hard on yourself. It's ok to feel what you feel...all feelings are valid, but can be very upsetting at times. Just remember that sexuality is a fluid thing, and there is also a natural aptitude for curiosity. You don't have to figure it out today; just try to go with the flow, even though I know it's really hard because you want to pin down "what you identify as"/who you want to be with. See, there are many different forms of sexuality, but the most important part of it, I believe, is the emotional...see who you're most emotionally AND sexually attracted to. It could vary from person to person, but rather than judge yourself, try to see it as an experiment and you're the constant, while the other person is the variable. I went through the same thing that you are going through...well not exact same since I'm a girl. However, sexuality is a spectrum...and even though societal values almost demands this of us...you don't have to label yourself. Just love whomever you want to love. Be whoever you want to be, and don't let anyone, including yourself, hinder your own happiness just because of cultural, familial, etc. ideals. Does that help a bit?



Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. _happen_. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.


----------



## ThomasNLD

X_The_Lancer_X said:


> Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. _happen_. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.



If your beart can feel warmth in that direction, don't let your head judge it to harshly.
Like others said, you are who you are and thats ok. It is much more scary to think of these type of things when you generalize it, try looking at it more based on individuals. When you meet someone you fall in love with, those fears will always be outweighed by the attraction and ,love towards that special someone. 

Anxiety loses strength when desire grows. In tbe sense it will be easier to overcome. So worries now will look somewhat silly when you wil, actually meet that special someone, your position will be different. Try not to let it bother you so much in tbe meantime, although that is easier said then done.


----------



## GameLaxer

ThomasNLD said:


> If your beart can feel warmth in that direction, don't let your head judge it to harshly.
> Like others said, you are who you are and thats ok. It is much more scary to think of these type of things when you generalize it, try looking at it more based on individuals. When you meet someone you fall in love with, those fears will always be outweighed by the attraction and ,love towards that special someone.
> 
> Anxiety loses strength when desire grows. In tbe sense it will be easier to overcome. So worries now will look somewhat silly when you wil, actually meet that special someone, your position will be different. Try not to let it bother you so much in tbe meantime, although that is easier said then done.



Couldn't have said it better myself 

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, what do you consider the PRIMARY lesbian sex act?


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

X_The_Lancer_X said:


> Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. _happen_. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.


Why don't you want to be bi or gay? There's nothing wrong with it. Is it because some people don't understand and will judge you for it? I know that can be difficult but you can't let your worries about how other people see you stop you from being yourself.

There are some pros too... like not having to worry about unplanned pregnancies!


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

X_The_Lancer_X said:


> Yeah I suppose this helps a bit. Whatever happens, it is just going to have to.. _happen_. I am just not a fan of watching myself drift into a direction I would rather not go.



You're probably just curious- and it's fine. Sometimes we'd rather enjoy things sexually than romantically. I mean, I watch all kinds of porn tmi and enjoy plenty of things on a sexual level that I wouldn't want to immediately bring into my life and make a part of my identity. It just gets you- uh. Turned on. Doesn't mean you have to act on it, or that you have to suddenly change how you identify, or anything. 

You're going to be okay, bub.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Hana-Nezumi said:


> Why don't you want to be bi or gay? There's nothing wrong with it. Is it because some people don't understand and will judge you for it? I know that can be difficult but you can't let your worries about how other people see you stop you from being yourself.
> 
> *There are some pros too... like not having to worry about unplanned pregnancies!*



Assuming you and the person you're with are a same-sex couple, that is.  Same-gender, opposite-sex couples are still gay/bi/pan (in other words - not straight), but unplanned pregnancies can happen in certain circumstances.


----------



## GameLaxer

Question:

What is considered the primary lesbian sex act? I've been with another woman before, but she was my first. I was just wondering what is considered...idk...penetration (without a sex toy)? I mean, there's fingering, oral sex...scissoring? (idk I've never tried that)...and idk what else really...online informational videos *wink wink* don't really depict natural sexual encounters, obviously, so I was just wondering if I could get some advice as a newly sexually active lesbian. heh ^_^''' by the way...I'm really embarrassed and nervous asking this question, so if you could be gentle in your responses, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

GameLaxer said:


> Question:
> 
> What is considered the primary lesbian sex act? I've been with another woman before, but she was my first. I was just wondering what is considered...idk...penetration (without a sex toy)? I mean, there's fingering, oral sex...scissoring? (idk I've never tried that)...and idk what else really...online informational videos *wink wink* don't really depict natural sexual encounters, obviously, so I was just wondering if I could get some advice as a newly sexually active lesbian. heh ^_^''' by the way...I'm really embarrassed and nervous asking this question, so if you could be gentle in your responses, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks



Short answer: There's no such thing as a "primary" way of having sex, lesbian or not.

Long answer: _Anything_ that leaves you and your partner feeling sexually satisfied when you're finished is "sex" - and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. (there are many ignorant people out there who insist that it's not sex unless it's penis-in-oriface [yet somehow the mouth doesn't count, to them ])

Also, don't confuse "orgasm" with "sexually satisfied" - I thought I'd point this out, because even though I personally am a virgin, if I were to have sex, I would use a "strap on" as a sort of prosthetic (female-bodied trans man, here.. so alas, I have no penis lol), which would prevent me from orgasming because I wouldn't have any physical stimulation.. However, I, personally, would feel satisfied.

So really, it all depends on you and the person you're with.


----------



## GameLaxer

Mephisto Pheles said:


> Short answer: There's no such thing as a "primary" way of having sex, lesbian or not.
> 
> Long answer: _Anything_ that leaves you and your partner feeling sexually satisfied when you're finished is "sex" - and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. (there are many ignorant people out there who insist that it's not sex unless it's penis-in-oriface [yet somehow the mouth doesn't count, to them ])
> 
> Also, don't confuse "orgasm" with "sexually satisfied" - I thought I'd point this out, because even though I personally am a virgin, if I were to have sex, I would use a "strap on" as a sort of prosthetic (female-bodied trans man, here.. so alas, I have no penis lol), which would prevent me from orgasming because I wouldn't have any physical stimulation.. However, I, personally, would feel satisfied.
> 
> So really, it all depends on you and the person you're with.



Ah, okay. Thank you very much for your in-depth answer. I really appreciate it.


----------



## matt

WOOHOO SEX


----------



## GameLaxer

matt said:


> WOOHOO SEX



Note the "Mature" part of the title for this thread.


----------



## matt

GameLaxer said:


> Note the "Mature" part of the title for this thread.



Actually I'm showing people it isn't an embarrassing topic


----------



## GameLaxer

matt said:


> Actually I'm showing people it isn't an embarrassing topic



Ok. My apologies, then.


----------



## Mayorofarcadia

GameLaxer said:


> Note the "Mature" part of the title for this thread.



I'm sorry but I giggled


----------



## ThomasNLD

I`m kinda curious if people here received any kind of sexual education. I never had that and it feels like a big miss. The subject is hard to talk about for me and its difficult to find a place other then the internet to find answers. Ofcourse when I needed the information most, internet wasn`t as good of a source as it is now. Not to mention it is not easy to actually find a really reliable source.

I dunno, the "woohoo"  remark might have been meant for me. It is an important subject for me, especially intimacy wise, but at the same time I am not able to share needs or fantasies with people. Not even doctors who help me become more open in these matters. Ofcourse a larger problem then just lack of sexual education lies beneath my problems, but it definetly plays a role when there is very little of any type of intimacy in your family.


----------



## Tessie

^ I had sex ed. in high school. They just spoke about always using condoms and being safe. We had a little office in my high school where you could go get free condoms and dental dams, I remember a lot of students taking advantage of that.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

ThomasNLD said:


> I`m kinda curious if people here received any kind of sexual education. I never had that and it feels like a big miss. The subject is hard to talk about for me and its difficult to find a place other then the internet to find answers. Ofcourse when I needed the information most, internet wasn`t as good of a source as it is now. Not to mention it is not easy to actually find a really reliable source.
> 
> I dunno, the "woohoo"  remark might have been meant for me. It is an important subject for me, especially intimacy wise, but at the same time I am not able to share needs or fantasies with people. Not even doctors who help me become more open in these matters. Ofcourse a larger problem then just lack of sexual education lies beneath my problems, but it definetly plays a role when there is very little of any type of intimacy in your family.



I was homeschooled so I didn't get "Sex Ed", and my Mom never brought up the subject until I already pretty much had it figured out (thanks, internet), but even then, she didn't really try and "educate" me... All I really got from her was "anal nd oral r bad nd u shudnt do them k? k.", and that was it. lol

To be honest, I'm pretty.. "prudish" - I guess you could say - about the topic when it's face-to-face. But I don't seem to have much problem discussing it over the internet, oddly enough. (but only with strangers.  if it's someone I know I'm still like "can we please change the subject? Thanks >_>")


----------



## katsuragi

ThomasNLD said:


> I`m kinda curious if people here received any kind of sexual education. I never had that and it feels like a big miss. The subject is hard to talk about for me and its difficult to find a place other then the internet to find answers. Ofcourse when I needed the information most, internet wasn`t as good of a source as it is now. Not to mention it is not easy to actually find a really reliable source.
> 
> I dunno, the "woohoo"  remark might have been meant for me. It is an important subject for me, especially intimacy wise, but at the same time I am not able to share needs or fantasies with people. Not even doctors who help me become more open in these matters. Ofcourse a larger problem then just lack of sexual education lies beneath my problems, but it definetly plays a role when there is very little of any type of intimacy in your family.



i had sex ed in grade 6, but it was quite limited and covered mostly what i already knew. my mum has always been open to questions about sexual matters, so i'm quite comfortable with talking about sex and sexual things.


----------



## ThomasNLD

Its just a thing I wonder about I guess, if you grew up in a family where this was a subject you could talk openly about, if that made a huge impact on you later in life, being able to enjoy it more, but also easier find room to ask questions or anything like that. Everywhere I was, it was a taboo. Besides the internet, but that hardly promotes intimacy and a deeper enjoyment of sex. Obviously there are sites which focus more on relationships and intimacy on a more intimate level, but still.... all the porn, rude and obnoxious people, etc make it feel like an unbalanced source. Even though there are definetly good websites about it. I`m not explaining myself very well I think.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

I'm happy my S.O doesn't consider fantasizing to be a negative thing, but I kinda wish they'd tell me some of their fantasies and the like. But then they're just like "you doing stuff" and it's like- _this does not help me_. 

How do you open up to someone who might not be opening up to you? Do you go in-depth with this kind of stuff with your partner? Or do they just not have any role in that sort of thing?

*bonus question- do you tell them you've been thinking about someone of a different gender than theirs?


----------



## baller

Revolver Ocelot said:


> *bonus question- do you tell them you've been thinking about someone of a different gender than theirs?



no ofc not


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

baller said:


> no ofc not



it's not like they don't know...


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> it's not like they don't know...


Then ask him if he's okay with it? That's the only way you'll know.

Like, my bf is cool with it, we sometimes talk about guys we think are hot and we're very casual about it. We never really go into specific fantasies though. Of course... we are in an open relationship. I presume you're not, but you still might as well ask him if he wants to talk about those things if that's something you feel like you need to communicate with him. Unless he's the jealous type then the worst that could happen is that he says he'd rather not hear about it.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Hana-Nezumi said:


> Then ask him if he's okay with it? That's the only way you'll know.
> 
> Like, my bf is cool with it, we sometimes talk about guys we think are hot and we're very casual about it. We never really go into specific fantasies though. Of course... we are in an open relationship. I presume you're not, but you still might as well ask him if he wants to talk about those things if that's something you feel like you need to communicate with him. Unless he's the jealous type then the worst that could happen is that he says he'd rather not hear about it.



I suppose this is the way to go. Just need a good old fashioned kick in the pants about it, I guess. 

Trying to create a natural-feeling sex life when you can't stop overthinking things is kinda- difficult. 

<3


----------



## MayorMudkip

I understand the struggle, Revolver. When I first started dating my boyfriend he was kinda cryptic about his fantasies.  But I've gradually been able to get him to talk about them (it especially seemed to help when I volunteered some of my own, so it was less awkward for him).  I still need to pry sometimes, but we're generally more open about that stuff now.  It just kinda took some talking and convincing.

As for the gender thing, I'm bisexual, and my boyfriend knows it.  We don't address it that much as it's just a part of my life like anything else, but I've never exactly had a negative reaction from my partner from talking about fantasies (or fantasy relationships) with someone of a different gender.  Of course it depends on the person, but your partner seems to be pretty accepting, so like Hana said, unless they're the jealous type, I don't see a downside to bringing it up.  Especially if it helps the both of you to get some of your S.O.'s more private thoughts out in the open, as long as they're okay with them being there.  Like I noted above, sometimes it takes hearing about someone's own thoughts before you want to dish your own.

I hope that helps. I'm generally kinda bad at advice but I think we have some similar experiences in our relationships so >>


----------



## Midoriya

Q: Does the time of day play a role in how smooth and comfortable the process is?  (Just wondering)


----------



## MayorMudkip

(I'm just gonna assume you're talking about sex itself >>) I'm not sure if it affects how comfortable it is, per se, but my partner and I generally like doing the do earlier in the day because we can actually see each other (everywhere we've lived gets super dark at night, but that's when we do it most of the time...and it seems awkward to turn on a lamp, especially if we're not gonna want to get out of bed after).  I guess it depends on the complexity of what you're actually doing.  If you're doing any more "intensive" play it's always better to see what you're doing.  But in my opinion, nah, time of day doesn't really affect enjoyment physically.  I think it's just personal preference.


----------



## Midoriya

Okay, thanks!


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Omg it's been so long. Sorry everyone. I have no internet at mine so I haven't really had time to go on here. But I'm back now and happy to give anyone advice if need be.


----------



## Beardo

When does one usually start to... pleasure themself? Is there a normal age range?


----------



## Tao

Beardo said:


> When does one usually start to... pleasure themself? Is there a normal age range?



I think my first time was in my early teens, around the age of 13. 

I think it largely depends on the individual as everybody develops differently, as well as your own feelings towards wanting to do that but for at least my other male friends who are open to when they started doing that it's been around that age (sometimes a little younger, sometimes a little older).

I wouldn't say there's a pinpointed age that everybody does it but it does tend to be around the early teens.


For females, I can't really comment. I've only ever known one female to be that open about it.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Liquid Ocelot said:


> I'm happy my S.O doesn't consider fantasizing to be a negative thing, but I kinda wish they'd tell me some of their fantasies and the like. But then they're just like "you doing stuff" and it's like- _this does not help me_.
> 
> How do you open up to someone who might not be opening up to you? Do you go in-depth with this kind of stuff with your partner? Or do they just not have any role in that sort of thing?
> 
> *bonus question- do you tell them you've been thinking about someone of a different gender than theirs?




Is your partner male?

I've been nagged at before for not being 'open' to sharing 'fantasies' and stuff, but it's nothing to do with not having any.
The problem that I find is outside of having sex with people that don't exist (video game/anime characters) I simply don't really have 'fantasies'. Just humping things is good enough.


----------



## DarkOnyx

Tao said:


> I think my first time was in my early teens, around the age of 13.
> 
> I think it largely depends on the individual as everybody develops differently, as well as your own feelings towards wanting to do that but for at least my other male friends who are open to when they started doing that it's been around that age (sometimes a little younger, sometimes a little older).
> 
> I wouldn't say there's a pinpointed age that everybody does it * but it does tend to be around the early teens.*
> 
> 
> For females, I can't really comment. I've only ever known one female to be that open about it.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Is your partner male?
> 
> I've been nagged at before for not being 'open' to sharing 'fantasies' and stuff, but it's nothing to do with not having any.
> The problem that I find is outside of having sex with people that don't exist (video game/anime characters) I simply don't really have 'fantasies'. Just humping things is good enough.



Are you sure?  How would you know?  No one in my age group (12-13)seem like they'd do that.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Beardo said:


> When does one usually start to... pleasure themself? Is there a normal age range?



What does pleasure themselves mean exactly?  I'm confused.


----------



## Radda

DarkOnyx said:


> Are you sure?  How would you know?  No one in my age group (12-13)seem like they'd do that.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> What does pleasure themselves mean exactly?  I'm confused.



To touch themselves,like the lower and upper half (for girls.) This is called Mastrabating. Or put simple,to have sex with yourself.


----------



## tamagotchi

DarkOnyx said:


> Are you sure?  How would you know?  No one in my age group (12-13)seem like they'd do that.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> What does pleasure themselves mean exactly?  I'm confused.



//EDIT.- I don't believe there's an actual 'set' age range. I suppose you just start when it suits you. I don't know - something about hormones and puberty, lmaoo.

It means masturbation. 
I don't want to sound weird here, but I found this definition, lol.:

_erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies_

God, I sound like a creep.. whatever.


----------



## Tao

DarkOnyx said:


> Are you sure?  How would you know?  No one in my age group (12-13)seem like they'd do that.
> .




I have to go with 'scouts honor' and assume they're telling the truth. It's not exactly like there's any benefit from lying about such a thing or any bragging rights, especially when for us it would have been about a decade ago anyway.


Early teens is also when people start actually developing 'sexually' around that age, so it makes sense that teens of that age would have 'urges' and tug themselves off.


Still, I know roughly what age I first did it (roughly. I didn't exactly keep a record of it)


----------



## Jake

Tao said:


> I have to go with 'scouts honor' and assume they're telling the truth. It's not exactly like there's any benefit from lying about such a thing or any bragging rights, especially when for us it would have been about a decade ago anyway.
> 
> 
> Early teens is also when people start actually developing 'sexually' around that age, so it makes sense that teens of that age would have 'urges' and tug themselves off.
> 
> 
> Still, I know roughly what age I first did it (roughly. I didn't exactly keep a record of it)



why not i keep records of everythin


----------



## Tao

Jake. said:


> why not i keep records of everythin



I couldn't find a pen and the only other thing I had to write with at the time would require a UV light to read.


----------



## Tessie

Beardo said:


> When does one usually start to... pleasure themself? Is there a normal age range?




This may sound really really weird to you guys, but I started exploring myself very young of age, about 4 years old. As a child, you're curious so before anyone thinks I'm messed up, not really o.o 
It was by accident when I realized what causes pleasure down there, I think I slid out of my bed a wrong way and the bed side slid up on me, and after that I would always touch myself there. I didn't think of it sexual, but I did it a lot for the feeling, so being ignorant to the whole idea, I was masturbating without even knowing it. 


I think I came to the whole idea that I was masturbating this whole time at around the age 12. I finally received my first  orgasm from masturbation at 16 though. Very late!

A lot of girls don't like to talk about masturbating in real life though. I asked my one friend if she ever does it and she got very defensive saying "Ew no! I never once touched myself there." It's nothing to be ashamed of, I think! In fact it's healthy lol. 

There's no right or wrong time to start masturbating I believe. You do it when you want to.


----------



## Jake

Tessie said:


> A lot of girls don't like to talk about masturbating in real life though. I asked my one friend if she ever does it and she got very defensive saying "Ew no! I never once touched myself there." It's nothing to be ashamed of, I think! In fact it's healthy lol.
> 
> There's no right or wrong time to start masturbating I believe. You do it when you want to.



Yea I get this a lot too. Me and my friends always talk about it (well not always, but it gets brought up in convo every now and then), and every time they are like "eww gross" but once I talk to them one-on-one they are like 'yea i do it' and they just dont want to admit it in front of other girls, when in fact they're doing the exact same thing.

this is why i am v open about anything and everything, because sexuality is not something to be ashamed about. It's completely normal.


----------



## tamagotchi

Tessie said:


> This may sound really really weird to you guys, but I started exploring myself very young of age,
> 
> It was by accident when I realized what causes pleasure down there, I think I slid out of my bed a wrong way and the bed side slid up on me,



Haaa, I thought I was the only one..

I thought something was wrong with me because I felt something down there, so I was like, "NO!!!!! I can never do that again wh AT IF I DIE? am I SICK??"

i was an odd little child


----------



## SuperVandal

11-13 seems to be the average age for males; I think I was around 12


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Tessie said:


> This may sound really really weird to you guys, but I started exploring myself very young of age, about 4 years old. As a child, you're curious so before anyone thinks I'm messed up, not really o.o
> It was by accident when I realized what causes pleasure down there, I think I slid out of my bed a wrong way and the bed side slid up on me, and after that I would always touch myself there. I didn't think of it sexual, but I did it a lot for the feeling, so being ignorant to the whole idea, I was masturbating without even knowing it.
> 
> 
> 
> I think I came to the whole idea that I was masturbating this whole time at around the age 12. I finally received my first  orgasm from masturbation at 16 though. Very late!
> 
> A lot of girls don't like to talk about masturbating in real life though. I asked my one friend if she ever does it and she got very defensive saying "Ew no! I never once touched myself there." It's nothing to be ashamed of, I think! In fact it's healthy lol.
> 
> There's no right or wrong time to start masturbating I believe. You do it when you want to.



As a mother myself and hearing things about this topic from other parents this isn't actually surprising to me. This is such a common thing, especially in young boys.  It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you so don't worry about that.  It's just a thing young children start doing because like you said, they don't understand it and they're just curious. I'm sure if you look it up there would be a bunch of parents on forums discussing this topic. . . . Although I'd be VERY careful with searching this thing for obvious reasons. Lol

I too started at a young age. Can't remember how you I was but I do remember being young and didn't understand it either. Hey! There was a friend I had that would do it too. We would touch ourselves in front of each other but that was just because we didn't understand it back then. 
I'd say I was probably about 11 or 12 (can't remember) when I realised what I was doing and made myself orgasm. Speaking of that too, you said that 16 was late but nah, some women spend half their life failing to achieve orgasm. Everyone is different with that too. 

So basically what I'm trying to say here is that you weren't a messed up child. You were normal.


----------



## Tessie

Fearthecuteness said:


> As a mother myself and hearing things about this topic from other parents this isn't actually surprising to me. This is such a common thing, especially in young boys.  It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you so don't worry about that.  It's just a thing young children start doing because like you said, they don't understand it and they're just curious. I'm sure if you look it up there would be a bunch of parents on forums discussing this topic. . . . Although I'd be VERY careful with searching this thing for obvious reasons. Lol
> 
> I too started at a young age. Can't remember how you I was but I do remember being young and didn't understand it either. Hey! There was a friend I had that would do it too. We would touch ourselves in front of each other but that was just because we didn't understand it back then.
> I'd say I was probably about 11 or 12 (can't remember) when I realised what I was doing and made myself orgasm. Speaking of that too, you said that 16 was late but nah, some women spend half their life failing to achieve orgasm. Everyone is different with that too.
> 
> So basically what I'm trying to say here is that you weren't a messed up child. You were normal.





Thank you!  I was actually hesitant to post what I posted because I felt it was very uncommon and odd for a child to do that, but I wanted to be honest on this topic and share in case anyone might feel the same way.
I'm glad we shared similar experiences!


----------



## KarlaKGB

Tessie said:


> Thank you!  I was actually hesitant to post what I posted because I felt it was very uncommon and odd for a child to do that, but I wanted to be honest on this topic and share in case anyone might feel the same way.
> I'm glad we shared similar experiences!



it feels good there even at the age of 4??


----------



## Tessie

KarlaKGB said:


> it feels good there even at the age of 4??



it do. but i didnt regard it as sexual, i just saw it as "wow what a funny feelin."


i mean being 4 dont mean you missing female anatomy parts. so yea.


----------



## KarlaKGB

Tessie said:


> it do. but i didnt regard it as sexual, i just saw it as "wow what a funny feelin."
> 
> 
> i mean being 4 dont mean you missing female anatomy parts. so yea.



right but those parts rnt fully developed at that point, and they rnt ready for their intended purpose. by extension, it doesnt make much sense that it would feel good when there is no physiological incentive to stimulate that area


----------



## Tessie

KarlaKGB said:


> right but those parts rnt fully developed at that point, and they rnt ready for their intended purpose. by extension, it doesnt make much sense that it would feel good when there is no physiological incentive to stimulate that area



Uhm...I wasn't penetrating or inserting anything in the vaginal area, it was simply clitoris stimulation, sorry I didn't make that clear, I didn't really want to go into much detail of how I touched myself at 4 lol.
And you have nerves and sensitivity all your life in the clitoris, never a point where it's just numb there. So yeah, it felt good when I would put pressure there. 

POINT OF MY COMMENT WAS how people masturbate at very different times in their life, and there's no specific age for it, of course there are common ages though. For me as a child, it was pure curiosity and of course it felt good, but it never clicked in my mind what I was doing was sexual until the age of 12.


----------



## Brackets

i also started at around 4. It still felt good even though i didn't have any sexual feelings at the time. i don't know how i knew how to do it, i think it was just instinctive


----------



## KarlaKGB

Tessie said:


> Uhm...I wasn't penetrating or inserting anything in the vaginal area, it was simply clitoris stimulation, sorry I didn't make that clear, I didn't really want to go into much detail of how I touched myself at 4 lol.
> And you have nerves and sensitivity all your life in the clitoris, never a point where it's just numb there. So yeah, it felt good when I would put pressure there.
> 
> POINT OF MY COMMENT WAS how people masturbate at very different times in their life, and there's no specific age for it, of course there are common ages though. For me as a child, it was pure curiosity and of course it felt good, but it never clicked in my mind what I was doing was sexual until the age of 12.



i wasnt judging u or anything, i was just surprised that u cud actually derive stimulation there at such a young age before those those have developed (read: puberty)


----------



## starlark

I was molested when I was 5 and still can't tell my parents about it. What do I do?

Serious answers please, I don't want any drama.

Edit: my parents are actively freaked out about sex.


----------



## Cory

starlark said:


> I was molested when I was 5 and still can't tell my parents about it. What do I do?
> 
> Serious answers please, I don't want any drama.



How old are you now?


----------



## starlark

Cory said:


> How old are you now?



I'm fourteen and a bit.


----------



## Cory

starlark said:


> I'm fourteen and a bit.


This is a serious thing. You should tell your parents even though they might get mad at you for not telling them sooner you should not keep the secret because it will haunt you for the rest of your life. I'm sure they will comfort you and give you advice on what to do.


----------



## badcrumbs

starlark said:


> I was molested when I was 5 and still can't tell my parents about it. What do I do?
> 
> Serious answers please, I don't want any drama.
> 
> Edit: my parents are actively freaked out about sex.



Have you talked to _anyone_ about it? Get advice from someone you are close to who knows your family. Not saying you shouldn't tell your parents, because you absolutely *should*, but talking to someone who knows your situation would probably be able to give better advice as to how to go about it. Since your parents are "freaked out" about sex.

Do not keep this inside you forever. I was raped around that age by a babysitter (and again by a stranger this past April). If you feel like you are too scared to do anything, think of the other potential victims and do it for them.

This is an extremely painful thing to go through and then have to deal with. I understand ignoring it, because that seems to be easy, but it's not. If you need anything, please feel free to PM me. I'm still struggling a lot with my issues, but will do anything I can to help you through yours.


----------



## Tao

starlark said:


> I was molested when I was 5 and still can't tell my parents about it. What do I do?
> 
> Serious answers please, I don't want any drama.
> 
> Edit: my parents are actively freaked out about sex.




You sure you can't talk to your parents? They might get 'freaked out' by sex, but they should be able to talk to you about such a serious situation.

If not, maybe another close family member or a certain teacher at school? I know that some/most schools have some sort of 'person' that is specifically employed to deal with student problems (though I've not been in school for about 7-8 years and have forgotten the job title).


It's not exactly something you should have to live with (though it's not your fault) and telling somebody could lead to the person getting what they deserve, as well as stop it from happening again or to anybody else.


----------



## DarkOnyx

starlark said:


> I was molested when I was 5 and still can't tell my parents about it. What do I do?
> 
> Serious answers please, I don't want any drama.
> 
> Edit: my parents are actively freaked out about sex.



Talk to your parents. This is a serious issue.  It wasn't your fault so they shouldn't be upset.  The only reason they'd get mad is because you didn't tell them sooner.


----------



## TaskBarR

Well this is a very...interesting thread, I'll leave it at that. The only advice I can give to people who are just learning is: masturbation is totally 100% okay. There's nothing wrong with you for doing it. Just...do it in private.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

That reminds me. We need links that will be helpful to people who's dealt with rape and molestation. I will look myself when I'm in a place with decent internet (basically when I'm not having to use my mobile data) but if anybody finds any links to any websites in the mean time that you think will be helpful then let me know.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Bump


----------



## Punchy-kun

TaskBarR said:


> Well this is a very...interesting thread, I'll leave it at that. The only advice I can give to people who are just learning is: masturbation is totally 100% okay. There's nothing wrong with you for doing it. Just...do it in private.


I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love. 
And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.


----------



## KarlaKGB

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.



i think u need to masturbate more


----------



## Zedark

I personally think that it's okay to masturbate aslong as you not like doing it in public because that's wierd


----------



## Danielkang2

http://noblather.blogspot.com/2008/03/should-christians-argue-with-non.html


----------



## KarlaKGB

Danielkang2 said:


> http://noblather.blogspot.com/2008/03/should-christians-argue-with-non.html



i cudnt find any sex advice in that link??


----------



## Brackets

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.



i can just sense your sexual frustration. let it out.


----------



## KarlaKGB

Annachie said:


> i can just sense your sexual frustration. let it out.



thru our lord and saviour jizzus christ

cya in a month


----------



## Alienfish

KarlaKGB said:


> thru our lord and saviour jizzus christ
> 
> cya in a month


but it hurts when i pee


----------



## Brackets

KarlaKGB said:


> thru our lord and saviour jizzus christ
> 
> cya in a month



it's strange and a bit perverted that the creator of the universe would care so much about what you do with your genitals

see you in a month too


----------



## Hamusuta

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.



masturbation is healthy for your schlong actually


----------



## oath2order

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.



You must be fun at parties


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## Alienfish

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.



Umm, are you that westboro church guy or?


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## matt

Hamusuta said:


> masturbation is healthy for your schlong actually



It depends on your methods. Some can be quite damaging.


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## Alienfish

matt said:


> It depends on your methods. Some can be quite damaging.



Well I guess you are one of those putting it in a empty toilet roll and then try to get it out after a while.


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## KarlaKGB

matt said:


> It depends on your methods. Some can be quite damaging.



maybe if u use a crucifix fleshlight


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## Alienfish

KarlaKGB said:


> maybe if u use a crucifix fleshlight



yeah or cut it off


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## n64king

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.



And that's why 120 years worth of American men have been ruined in a way we can't discuss.

- - - Post Merge - - -

This isn't even an Animal Crossing website anymore.


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## Zedark

I got a great idea for the next AC game now... fapping


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## Alienfish

Zedark said:


> I got a great idea for the next AC game now... fapping



well it does have touchscreen so why not


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## Dollie

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.


Honestly this is hilarious.


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## thatawkwardkid

Punchy-kun said:


> I disagree. Sure masturbation may start off when you're young and ignorant. But it's not ok. There's a very normal reason you (normally) feel guilt afterwards. Inside your conscience has been telling you to stop. Of course if a person repeatidly ignores this feeling your conscience goes blunt and the guilt may go away. Masturbation is wrong because it does physical damage and because it includes lust. And lust destroys love.
> And the Bible as well warns very strict againt it telling to "flee from lust" and saying "Every sin a man commits outside his body. But the sexual immoral sins against his own body"
> Really masturbation can destroy you. Don't get into it it, and if you are do all you can to get out of it.



I'll leave this for you.
And this, maybe. If you want to read it.

Don't know if this considered a "reliable" source since I haven't heard of this site.


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## starlark

we had one chance to make it a serious thread and we all ruined it


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## Zedark

I think it's still a pretty helpful thread but i guess we need people to actually ask for advice


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## KarlaKGB

thatawkwardkid said:


> I'll leave this for you.
> And this, maybe. If you want to read it.
> 
> Don't know if this considered a "reliable" source since I haven't heard of this site.



dude those sources r small fry compared to the ultimate source of god


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## thatawkwardkid

KarlaKGB said:


> dude those sources r small fry compared to the ultimate source of god



I honestly didn't feel like researching so I just put something I thought was "good enough."


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## Alienfish

KarlaKGB said:


> dude those sources r small fry compared to the ultimate source of god


meaning penis aimirite


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## KarlaKGB

Noiru said:


> meaning penis aimirite



u kno wat they say men think with


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## Alienfish

KarlaKGB said:


> u kno wat they say men think with



ya, for sure...

damn long brain though ahaha


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## Wish

WOOOOOOO PENIS


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## Alienfish

Wish said:


> WOOOOOOO PENIS



they taste good i heard


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## tobi!

they're filled with candy so make sure to get a bat and hit one as hard as you can so you can get the candy
trust me i am doctor person


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## Alienfish

Norski said:


> they're filled with candy so make sure to get a bat and hit one as hard as you can so you can get the candy
> trust me i am doctor person



mm yeah smudgy candy bby

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, lol is that manga Futari Ecchi for Ladies or?


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## Wish

Noiru said:


> they taste good i heard



I can vouch


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