# Is Slut Shaming Okay?



## Ghost Soda (Feb 3, 2016)

Okay, so I just got into an argument with my mom about slut shaming. She was calling a woman sk****y. I make no secret of my hatred for slut shaming. I think people should be able to do what they want with their own bodies. Mom said that people who have sex with whoever are "sk****", "have no respect for their bodies" and are "trash". I took offense to this and she took it to mean that I have sex. (lol LOGIC) She demanded to know where I heard this from, said I was brainwashed from the internet (basically her go to arguement whenever I form an opinion she doesn't like.) and threatened to take away my devices. We had a shouting match about it until I got tired of not being listened to and left.

Since she says '75% of people' would agree with her. (her words.) I decided to ask on Tbt what you guys think.

Side note: I had to rewrite this entire post because tbt thought it'd be fun to LOG ME OUT before I could post it the first time. So if you see any errors, it's cos I'm rushing.


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## Spongebob (Feb 3, 2016)

Gee this is kinda a loaded question. I am fully against slut shaming because you don't know their personal lives but I sometimes judge people who want nothing but sex 24/7 (not saying all sluts want sex 24/7) even tho I shouldn't judge


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## LambdaDelta (Feb 3, 2016)

Is this even a question?

tbh anyone who seriously thinks this is kind of a garbage person

- - - Post Merge - - -

also hooray for statistics pulled out of the ass


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## Belle of Pripyat (Feb 3, 2016)

When is shaming anyone okay? What ever happened to minding your own business and keeping your mouth shut?


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## Hermione Granger (Feb 3, 2016)

I would hope it isn't okay. Don't shame anyone for anything when you don't know the kind of life they're living or who they are. Even if you know the person and their choices is something you don't accept, don't shame.


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## seliph (Feb 3, 2016)

Nope. Sex is a natural thing that isn't to be punished.
I don't know where people get the whole "disrespecting your body" idea. If you're using your body in a safe and consensual way, what's disrespectful about it?
Also I _hate_ the word slut being used derogatorily against others, like who cares if someone shows skin and has sex? It's none of your business. All I get from people who hurl that word around is that they're jealous in some form.


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## tae (Feb 3, 2016)

if you slut shame, you need to stop. there's no point in shaming someone for being okay with themselves and being sexually active. go slut around, you go people. i'm rootin'for ya.


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## MapleLeafKangaroos (Feb 3, 2016)

Shaming of any kind is not okay. So no.


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## boujee (Feb 3, 2016)

well I'm a classy person who's the quite repulsed by sex or anything really intimate due from some shtty history but I honestly don't care if someone is more sexually active than mwah. Just keep it classy.

Also is this even suitable for a animal crossing forum?


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## Aniko (Feb 3, 2016)

I have nothing against sluts and I don't know why they should be called slut anyway. I know guys that act way more slutty than any girls I know and nobody says anything...


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## Spongebob (Feb 3, 2016)

Gamzee said:


> Also is this even suitable for a animal crossing forum?



who even knows anymore


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## Ghost Soda (Feb 3, 2016)

Thanks for the replies guys!

- LambdaDelta

Yeah, she does that a lot. Who needs logical arguments when you can pull out imaginary statistics?

- nvll

Yeah, at one point she even compared having sex with whoever to r*pe. Saying if people can have sex with whoever, then r*pe is okay. >.(\


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## Spongebob (Feb 3, 2016)

Ghost Soda said:


> Yeah, at one point she even compared having sex with whoever to r*pe.



Okay wtf, that isn't true at all


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## seliph (Feb 3, 2016)

MapleLeafKangaroos said:


> Shaming of any kind is not okay. So no.


That's not true please shame rapists



Ghost Soda said:


> - nvll
> 
> Yeah, at one point she even compared having sex with whoever to r*pe. Saying if people can have sex with whoever, then r*pe is okay. >.(\



What the ****?
How is that the same thing at all?


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## That Zephyr Guy (Feb 3, 2016)

This is kind of a hard question to answer thoroughly.

Short answer?  Yeah man, everybody should be able to wear what they want.

Longer answer? Everybody should be able to wear what they want, within reason, and that's where it gets complicated. 
*Where do we draw the line at where "within reason" begins and ends?.*

This is the source of why there's so much controversy surrounding this subject - different people have different ideas of "within reason", because if there is no limit, then who's to say people couldn't just walk around naked?

I guess if we had to really look at it, the most revealing, widely accepted thing people wear are bikinis, but that'd look weird in a non-swimming setting. 

People even find discomfort in seeing tube tops and I guess that's understandable.

In all honesty, there is no real answer to the question I guess. Everybody's going to have different points at which someone else's clothing becomes uncomfortable to look at. Some of us wouldn't mind everyone being naked, some of us get uncomfortable at the sight of a thigh, and the rest of us are everywhere between.


I guess that's looking at it a bit too much though.


Do I care if someone dresses in daisy dukes and a tube top? Not really, just be careful not to let stuff spill out and we good.


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## Romaki (Feb 3, 2016)

No people should just mind their own business


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## seliph (Feb 3, 2016)

That Zephyr Guy said:


> This is kind of a hard question to answer thoroughly.
> 
> Short answer?  Yeah man, everybody should be able to wear what they want.
> 
> ...



There's a difference between being uncomfortable with something and flat out putting someone down for it though.
I understand why people wouldn't want to see people's cleavage, or their butts hanging out of their shorts, or guys with those cut up hardly-a-shirt-anymore shirts, but shaming people for these things is another story and is pretty clearly never okay.


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## Mega_Cabbage (Feb 3, 2016)

I would reserve shaming anything in public unless somebody wants to hear from you. If people are asking for your insight, then it is okay to give a negative opinion if you are being honest about it.


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## Belle of Pripyat (Feb 3, 2016)

Ghost Soda said:


> Yeah, at one point she even compared having sex with whoever to r*pe. Saying if people can have sex with whoever, then r*pe is okay. >.(\



Your mom has some very unhealthy views about sex. I wonder what happened to her? Anyway, now that you know her feelings, you might want to avoid talking about it with her again. It's doubtful you could change her mind.


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## That Zephyr Guy (Feb 3, 2016)

nvll said:


> There's a difference between being uncomfortable with something and flat out putting someone down for it though.
> I understand why people wouldn't want to see people's cleavage, or their butts hanging out of their shorts, or guys with those cut up hardly-a-shirt-anymore shirts, but shaming people for these things is another story and is pretty clearly never okay.



Yeah definitely, in my post I'm generally speaking about it in a much more broad sense - not as much of a putting down kind of way.


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## kayleee (Feb 3, 2016)

Yeah nobody should be shamed for being sexual like what is this the 1800s

I'm so sick of people acting like sex is some elusive secretive thing that never happens and should never be talked about


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## Red Cat (Feb 3, 2016)

I don't think very highly of people who dress to show as much skin as possible, but I'm not offended by them.


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## Celestefey (Feb 3, 2016)

I would be lying if I said I've never judged someone on their appearance. I think anyone would be. It's in our nature as humans to judge others and to make assumptions and try to work out what sort of people we are interacting with and facing each day. But of course there's a difference between having an opinion on how someone looks and keeping it to yourself and respecting the fact that it's their own choice on how they choose to look... AND then there's having a judgmental opinion and not allowing your opinion to be swayed by the idea that people are allowed to do what they want, and TELLING people that they are "slutty" for choosing to wear very little clothes.

It's not okay! Sometimes I feel self-conscious for going out wearing short shorts in the summer for fearing people will judge me and think I'm revealing too much skin. It's kind of just this ingrained concept that people have... People who wear very little clothes = slutty, disgusting, ew, must have lots of sex that's totally awful. This mostly goes towards females as usually men are praised for having lots of sex but I'm not saying there aren't a lot of nasty stereotypes against men.

When actually some people choose to wear more revealing clothes because they feel like they look good in it and it makes them happy and not because they have a lot of sex. People can be so judgmental and they feel as though they can take a look at someone and instantly know everything about them, which is wrong. You should never judge a book by its cover. And even so, it's that persons choice. Even if you dislike what they're wearing and YOU wouldn't wear it yourself, who cares? As long as you wear what makes you happy and makes you feel comfortable then it doesn't matter what other people are doing, really.


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## Kittyinpink87 (Feb 3, 2016)

all i will say is that everyone is free to think what they want , but that doesn't mean you need to say things aloud.


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## RRJay (Feb 3, 2016)

lol no never.
people should be able to do what they want as long as they are not hurting others.


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## Shimmer (Feb 3, 2016)

As long as they're single and aren't negatively hurting anyone, who cares how many people they sleep with?


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## FleuraBelle (Feb 3, 2016)

I don't think shaming anybody is alright. They might need help in some way and shaming is not the answer. If you shame others you are only going to get the shame right back. :/
They choose what they do with their lives and people who even think of shaming them should think again and mind their own business. I consider doing things like that as a little nosy. 
Also it is not very nice. Even if they weren't nice to you or something, you shouldn't let them down in any way. Just be strong and resist any fights. But this is just my opinion.


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## Trundle (Feb 3, 2016)

I mean you can do whatever you want with your body but that doesn't mean it's a good choice.


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## Becca617 (Feb 3, 2016)

Belle of Pripyat said:


> When is shaming anyone okay? What ever happened to minding your own business and keeping your mouth shut?



^
I'm completely against it.

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kayleee said:


> Yeah nobody should be shamed for being sexual like what is this the 1800s
> 
> I'm so sick of people acting like sex is some elusive secretive thing that never happens and should never be talked about



I also second this


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## tae (Feb 3, 2016)

Trundle said:


> I mean you can do whatever you want with your body but that doesn't mean it's a good choice.



whats so wrong about having lots of great sex?


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## Trundle (Feb 3, 2016)

taesaek said:


> whats so wrong about having lots of great sex?



Well, the possibility of STIs is one reason. Looking at statistics, people who sleep with more people are more likely to get STIs. Obviously if you do it safely, then go for it. And, of course, if you are having sex for ulterior motives (like revenge or all that teenage drama) it's likely that it can be settled a different way.


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## Red Cat (Feb 3, 2016)

taesaek said:


> whats so wrong about having lots of great sex?



STDs and unplanned pregnancies if people are not careful.


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## Trundle (Feb 3, 2016)

Red Cat said:


> STDs and unplanned pregnancies if people are not careful.



Ah yes, I forgot about the whole baby thing as well.


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## That Zephyr Guy (Feb 3, 2016)

I'm confused as to how wearing less clothing equates to not using proper protection.


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## Trundle (Feb 3, 2016)

That Zephyr Guy said:


> I'm confused as to how wearing less clothing equates to not using proper protection.



If you're referring to me I'm not sure what you're talking about. Are you trying to say that all people that like to have sex are more promiscuous in their attire? That's quite stereotypical and it sounds like you're trying to pull the ol' strawman argument over here.


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## Red Cat (Feb 3, 2016)

I think he was just wondering how this discussion went from talking about clothes to talking about sex.


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## Trundle (Feb 3, 2016)

Red Cat said:


> I think he was just wondering how this discussion went from talking about clothes to talking about sex.



I don't believe the topic was ever about clothes. The OP is very specifically mentioning sex.


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## That Zephyr Guy (Feb 3, 2016)

I too can look up fallacies and try to look smart.

I too can also stray from the topic, which was my point that you read far too deeply into.



The majority of discussion on this thread has been about clothing.


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## Trundle (Feb 3, 2016)

That Zephyr Guy said:


> I too can look up fallacies and try to look smart.
> 
> I too can also stray from the topic, which was my point that you read far too deeply into.



Okay, I'm still confused as to what you're trying to say. Were you just making a statement in the thread or were you trying to argue something I said?


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## inkling (Feb 3, 2016)

People can do what they want with their lives, but at the same time what youre talking about is complicated. its kinda like nowadays ppl are saying that the word "fat" shouldn't be negative etc etc. Honestly you're mom prob wants you to do more with you're life then be a piece of meat or be worried about guys so maybe that's where she's getting at...she is your mom after all. Not everybody has to like everybody's behavior...being promiscuous is a choice haha. I have no probs with people into that personally and do not judge but if I had a daughter I prob wouldnt want her thinking about sex 24/7 tbh


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## Red Cat (Feb 3, 2016)

inkling said:


> People can do what they want with their lives, but at the same time what youre talking about is complicated. its kinda like nowadays ppl are saying that the word "fat" shouldn't be negative etc etc. Honestly you're mom prob wants you to do more with you're life then be a piece of meat or be worried about guys so maybe that's where she's getting at...she is your mom after all. Not everybody has to like everybody's behavior...being promiscuous is a choice haha. I have no probs with people into personally and do not judge but if I had a daughter I prob wouldnt want her thinking about sex 24/7 tbh



I agree that parents have a right to be concerned about their children being promiscuous, but calling someone a "slut" is not really the best way to discourage that behavior. Parents should teach their kids about the potential consequences of sex instead of shaming them for wanting to act on a basic human desire. The word "slut" has no positive effect that I can think of.


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## N e s s (Feb 3, 2016)

Its these types of threads that get the most attention in Brewsters, but i'll go ahead and say that shaming someone for this purpose isn't all that necessary. Its there body so I guess they can just, you know, do what they like???


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## jiny (Feb 3, 2016)

any type of shaming isn't okay.


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## Orieii (Feb 3, 2016)

Shaming anyone is wrong > n <)p </3


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## Beardo (Feb 3, 2016)

Nah

Slut is about as much as an insult as gay.


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## KarlaKGB (Feb 3, 2016)

is gay an insult???


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## inkling (Feb 3, 2016)

Red Cat said:


> I agree that parents have a right to be concerned about their children being promiscuous, but calling someone a "slut" is not really the best way to discourage that behavior. Parents should teach their kids about the potential consequences of sex instead of shaming them for wanting to act on a basic human desire. The word "slut" has no positive effect that I can think of.



Yes, I agree with you, mostly. But having a screaming match over this issue seems like a waste of energy. Maybe turns out OP wants to be a stripper one day or more... they gonna have worse issues as a fam anyways lol


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## Sig (Feb 3, 2016)

no.. why would you even need to ask this...


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## Red Cat (Feb 3, 2016)

KarlaKGB said:


> is gay an insult???



I think it used to be used derisively (I'm not sure though), but not anymore since otherwise there would not be a G in LGBT. It seems like the word "homosexual" is now considered more offensive than the word "gay" even though the former may be a more technically correct term. I still have never heard of the word "slut" get used in a positive way though.


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## nami26 (Feb 3, 2016)

its whatever the person chooses to do with their body. sluts" are just stereotypical names. they can do what they want, and shouldn't be shamed for it

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KarlaKGB said:


> is gay an insult???



some people use it that way, but its a sexuality. "ha that's gay" is used a lot at school, like if they think something is stupid


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## tae (Feb 3, 2016)

Red Cat said:


> I still have never heard of the word "slut" get used in a positive way though.




i'm a slut for french onion dip.


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## milkyi (Feb 3, 2016)

No I'm not okay with it, who are you to judge people's sex lives?


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## teshima (Feb 3, 2016)

No. Anyways, what's wrong with being a slut? if they like being one then let them be one. It's their body and their mind and therefore their decision.


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## Bowie (Feb 3, 2016)

If you're a smoker, it's your choice to be a smoker, but that doesn't mean it's healthy or that it should be encouraged. That's how I feel about it. I'm a pretty erotic person, though.


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## Izzy Reincarnated (Feb 3, 2016)

I'm promiscuous and I find this offensive.

No, shaming is absolutely not ok. You should mind your own beeswax it's not your body.


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## santoyo.bay (Feb 3, 2016)

Nope. Its not okay. No form of shaming is okay. And honestly its so annoying that when women sleep with many people she's called a slut but when a man does he's cool and he's a playa.


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## kayleee (Feb 3, 2016)

Bowie said:


> If you're a smoker, it's your choice to be a smoker, but that doesn't mean it's healthy or that it should be encouraged. That's how I feel about it. I'm a pretty erotic person, though.



Okay well having a lot of safe sex doesn't give you cancer and it's a normal part of the human experience so why should it be discouraged


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## glow (Feb 3, 2016)

let me tell u a thing

so basically in highschool my bf (now ex ofc) cheated on me twice, lied to my face about both those times, and it wasn't until mutual friends told me the truth that I finally found out
flash forward months later, still with the same guy, the relationship just kept going downhill and I hooked up with another guy out of anger/revenge

of course what I did wasn't right, but whatever. the relationship ended. BUT, for the rest of the school year, every time I ran into him or his friends they yelled "slut" at me. they would mess with my car every single day, e.g. when it was dirty they'd use the dust on it to draw or write stupid sht, I was harassed every. single. day. it got SO bad that I hated school, I would ditch all the time. finally I couldn't take it anymore and went to the vice principal. I even texted my ex's dad and told him. then if he so much as breathed the word slut at me, he'd be suspended and his dad would take his car away. 

I felt like a total snitch at the time but reflecting on it I should have done it sooner. so yeah **** the word slut as a derogatory term. *the fact that there's no real male equivalent of the word is such a joke. it's beyond me the hypocrisy of the stigma of female sexuality. male sexuality is applauded and worshipped basically, ya'know, "boyz will b boyz!!!!!" yet girls are shamed, any reference to female sexuality is shunned so much that even menstruation is taboo. it's completely absurd.*


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## MyLifeIsCake (Feb 3, 2016)

Personally I find it a little raunchy for _anyone_ to go around bragging about their sex lives, but I don't shame them for it, I just  ignore the conversation. I don't believe anyone should be persecuted for how they live their lives, especially in private.

Basically what it boils down to is, if it it's not hurting anything and doesn't affect them, why do should other people care about other's lifestyle choices?


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## Apron (Feb 3, 2016)

You're free to do whatever you want with your body.
And I'm free to think or say whatever I feel about it.
That's just the way the world works.


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## radical6 (Feb 3, 2016)

Dude I Dont Give a ****

- - - Post Merge - - -

generally, i do not care about people having sex, however it ranks low on my list of priorities. i dont care about the sex positivist movement. i dont care. 

often, i find while though people are trying to stop the stigma of having too much sex, they do nothing to help actual hypersexual victims. no, i dont find telling a hypersexual victim to "go suck 10 ****s you big bad *****!! xPPPP" feminist or liberating in anyway, nor do i actually care for slut walks.

i think a lot of people fail to realize that sometimes encouraging young girls to **** everyone won't make them feel better. it just makes them feel used later and they hate it. i mean if you're an adult, fine whatever. but when you have sex, it isnt in a vacuum. i find this especially troubling for victims of sexual abuse who use sex as a way to cope, and i think thats an unhealthy coping tactic. 

i would say im sex negative, as in i dont care if you do it, but i dont encourage it. if you're 25 or whatever and using tinder for hookups, okay whatever. but im tired of seeing people encourage young teens/hypersexual victims to suck 10 ****s cos its "liberating" or something. sex isnt just sex sometimes. yeah its possible to have sex without romantic feelings for someone, but when you're young or hypersexual that is so much harder to differentiate. i think it rather makes them feel worse and think their only worth is sex. 

but in general thats my only problems with the anti "slut shaming" movement/sex +. also i think the term slut shaming is stupid. like seriously someone needs to come up with a better term that doesn't insult the people they're fighting for.


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## radioloves (Feb 4, 2016)

I'm fine with it, I mean do as you wish as long as it doesn't hurt others or yourself. I don't see why slut shaming can be so bad unless it was for a bad intention..


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## seliph (Feb 4, 2016)

justice said:


> also i think the term slut shaming is stupid. like seriously someone needs to come up with a better term that doesn't insult the people they're fighting for.



This is my biggest problem with it too.
I'm pretty sure they're trying to reclaim the word "slut" but it doesn't really work when it's still mostly used to insult someone.


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## Finnian (Feb 4, 2016)

It's stupid. Like, let people sleep with who they want.

But yeah, idk if this is an appropriate thread for this forum. Too many people under 13 here.


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## PoizonMushro0m (Feb 4, 2016)

I am against slut shaming. If the person dresses like one or does it just for the hell of it, then it's another story...


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## seliph (Feb 4, 2016)

PoizonMushro0m said:


> If the person dresses like one or does it just for the hell of it, then it's another story...



So you're for it then lol


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## X2k5a7y (Feb 4, 2016)

Naahhhhh. 

My grandpa literally says the same thing about being "brainwashed by the internet", lol. 

I mean if you really think about it actually makes the person commenting on said "slut" a pervert. Considering that they're wasting their time thinking about how many people that person has had sex with, or focusing on that person's body/how they dress...It's really irrelevant. Why does that person's personal life even matter so much to solicit a reaction. It makes no sense why people always love to violently shove their noses into everyone's business. Though, they'll excuse it, of course.


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## visibleghost (Feb 4, 2016)

um
no slut shaming is obviously not ok wtf


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## epona (Feb 4, 2016)

the word slut actually stings me every time i hear it because it was so often used as a derogatory term towards and about me when i was in high school
slut shaming is ridiculous and stupid, do whatever you want, the word slut shouldn't even exist it is a horrible, vulgar and filthy word that has been systematically used to shame and degrade women who don't fit the virgin madonna archetype

that said, and while i'm totally for people just doing what they want and using their body however they please, having sex with everyone and everything you see can be a really unhealthy behaviour like it's fine if you're just doing it cause that's what you wanna do but more often than not it's a sign of something far deeper like a self-esteem issue or whatever and in that case it's not good for u but it's still nobody else's business


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## Kissyme100 (Feb 4, 2016)

I'm against shaming other people's choices. It's their life and they can do what they want with it.


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## Bowie (Feb 4, 2016)

kayleee said:


> Okay well having a lot of safe sex doesn't give you cancer and it's a normal part of the human experience so why should it be discouraged



I never said safe sex gives you cancer.


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## cIementine (Feb 4, 2016)

i'm against it. it just implies that women aren't allowed to choose what they want to do with their bodies and their freedom. it's not ok when a woman does it but if a guy gets a lot of action, it is mostly encouraged or ignored.


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## kayleee (Feb 4, 2016)

Bowie said:


> I never said safe sex gives you cancer.



But you suggested promiscuity is comparable to smoking cigarettes which does, in fact, give you cancer


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## Bowie (Feb 4, 2016)

kayleee said:


> But you suggested promiscuity is comparable to smoking cigarettes which does, in fact, give you cancer



No, I didn't. What I was trying to say was that, similarly to smoking, you can enjoy it, but it's not always a healthy way to live. I never mentioned cancer.


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## kayleee (Feb 4, 2016)

Bowie said:


> No, I didn't. What I was trying to say was that, similarly to smoking, you can enjoy it, but it's not always a healthy way to live. I never mentioned cancer.



Yeah its "not a healthy way to live" cause smoking causes cancer and other bodily maladies. This is what makes it unhealthy. You are using smoking as a comparative to promiscuity. You say: like smoking, you can enjoy promiscuity, but it is not a healthy way to live. Yet protected promiscuity does not cause cancer or other physical bodily maladies. I don't think smoking was the best object of comparison for the point you're trying to make.


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## seliph (Feb 4, 2016)

Bowie said:


> No, I didn't. What I was trying to say was that, similarly to smoking, you can enjoy it, but it's not always a healthy way to live. I never mentioned cancer.



Okay but here's the thing:
Smoking is _never_ a healthy way to live
Being promiscuous _can_ easily be a healthy way to live

You can't compare the two.


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## Bowie (Feb 4, 2016)

kayleee said:


> Yeah its "not a healthy way to live" cause smoking causes cancer and other bodily maladies. This is what makes it unhealthy. You are using smoking as a comparative to promiscuity. You say: like smoking, you can enjoy promiscuity, but it is not a healthy way to live. Yet protected promiscuity does not cause cancer or other physical bodily maladies. I don't think smoking was the best object of comparison for the point you're trying to make.





nvll said:


> Okay but here's the thing:
> Smoking is _never_ a healthy way to live
> Being promiscuous _can_ easily be a healthy way to live
> 
> You can't compare the two.



Okay, I'll admit it wasn't the greatest comparison to make, but it's really a conditional thing. There are young women (and men, I should add) out there who have sex with anything that moves, and a lot of the time it's because they have self-esteem issues and think sex is a way of getting people to love them or give them attention, and it's not _always_ a good thing or a "strong independent woman" thing to do.

But, again, it's conditional. If you're having sex with people _you know_ and haven't just met randomly at a bar, go ahead. If you're having casual, protected sex just for the fun of it, go ahead. Just be careful. It's not a life I would encourage, but it's not a one I'd discourage either. It's just something that people need to be careful of and not indulge themselves in too much. The comparison to smoking was dumb, but that's the point I was trying to make.


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## radical6 (Feb 4, 2016)

PoizonMushro0m said:


> I am against slut shaming. If the person dresses like one or does it just for the hell of it, then it's another story...


this makes no sense

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Bowie said:


> Okay, I'll admit it wasn't the greatest comparison to make, but it's really a conditional thing. There are young women (and men, I should add) out there who have sex with anything that moves, and a lot of the time it's because they have self-esteem issues and think sex is a way of getting people to love them or give them attention, and it's not _always_ a good thing or a "strong independent woman" thing to do.
> 
> But, again, it's conditional. If you're having sex with people _you know_ and haven't just met randomly at a bar, go ahead. If you're having casual, protected sex just for the fun of it, go ahead. Just be careful. It's not a life I would encourage, but it's not a one I'd discourage either. It's just something that people need to be careful of and not indulge themselves in too much. The comparison to smoking was dumb, but that's the point I was trying to make.



yes i agree, i would say people who have sex with strangers nearly everyday are likely hypersexual and suffer from trauma.

its very common for people who have sufferef sexual abuse to be very very sexually active. however i think they shouldnt be having sex that often because it makes them feel bad. no one wants to discuss the emotional baggage that sometimes comes with sex.

yes its their right to live, but rhat doesnt mean its a healthy way. it only gives them temporary relief from the actual problem


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## LinkToTheWorld (Feb 4, 2016)

I don't know, it's a bit of a difficult question to be honest because although I agree everybody should be allowed to wear what they want, there's such a thing as time and place/appropriateness etc.
If what somebody is wearing is appropriate for where they are or what they're doing then there's no problem. But you wouldn't turn up to work (not in my job at least) with a skirt showing your underwear or something.
Also used to annoy me when I went to the gym and saw girls with almost sports bras on their top half (I'm a female myself) when the rules were always to dress appropriately (no shirts off for the guys, etc) out of respect for other gym users who don't want sweat covering the equipment.

It all depends. The situation makes a lot of difference


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## Classygirl (Feb 4, 2016)

I say no, never. Women need to be kinder to other women especially. And how much do you really know about the person you are talking about. Someone might see a woman dressed or acting a certain way and meet her become friends only to find she is a birgin or has had 1 or 2 relationships. Judging anyone because of clothes, ru,ours or even one stupid mistake they make when younger is wrong. And I feel bad that women especially put down other women a lot when we should be supporting each other...

- - - Post Merge - - -

A note, judging so done by what they are wearing says nothing about thier personality. ai like old fashioned 60s style halter tops with ,I drift showing and capris in the summer, I have some sports bras that are meant to be seen under low cut shirts with matching leggings it's cute and I don't go to the gym and I have had 4 serious relationships in my adult life, I look younger than I am much and will where what I like as long as I am comfortable and if I feel comfortable I know it is not showing too much as I'm fairly conservative with skin..but sometimes shorts are short and miniskirts too has been that way over 40 yrs you just gotta wear a longer top if showing legs and longer pants if showing top skin or do whatever a you do...As far as tattoos I can't have one but if I could I always wanted one the most comfortable place to be seen slightly and nothing provocative lower back I have heard the term tramp stamp but come on guys...that's silly too...If you want to judge know the situation and the person but even then keep it to yourself as it's likely your issue not your place to make another woman feel judged when she could be very sweet but dresses different than you would. I am saying this as it seems we are judging not on the person but appearances and they are oh so deceiving most of the time.


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## Alienfish (Feb 4, 2016)

No, not really. However if people dress and/or act to it fully conscious .. while they shouldn't have to take it directly they should think first I mean of course if you wear red thongs and trashy stockings with a short shirt.. yes. People will look or stare. Doesn't mean you should shout **** after them though, it's their choice and while it might or might not be attractive that is for them or you.

As for being engaged in the sex itself, I don't see why you shouldn't have sex, that is not slutty.


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## Miii (Feb 4, 2016)

There are a LOT of risks associated with sleeping around which is why I definitely wouldn't encourage it, and as someone who prefers to be in a committed relationship, I don't really like hanging around with people like that because they tend not to get my side of the argument. I don't shame people for it, I just choose not to be around them.


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## Hai (Feb 4, 2016)

No, slut shaming is not okay.
Other people's sex life shouldn't matter. It concerns nobody but them.


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## mogyay (Feb 4, 2016)

idk risks are made minimal by sleeping around by forms of contraception so i won't judge anyone for it tbh


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## KarlaKGB (Feb 4, 2016)

reminder that abstinence is only 99.9999999% effective


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## Ness-Star (Feb 7, 2016)

Sluts shame themselves. You don't have to give them a bad name.


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## Franny (Feb 7, 2016)

as long as you stay safe and make smart decisions, do what you want w/your body


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## M O L K O (Feb 7, 2016)

No, end of discussion.


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## Foxxie (Feb 7, 2016)

Not my body, not my damn business.  I am proudly demi and have issues which mean that I am personally pretty much repulsed by sex, but I still wouldn't shame anyone else... What they do has absolutely nothing to do with me.


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## Majestic.Casual (Feb 7, 2016)

Slut shaming is NEVER ok. 
Simple as that.​


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## Karminny (Feb 7, 2016)

I completely agree with you. While i wouldnt hang around people that have sex all the time w different people, its not my body and it doesnt effect me in anyway.


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## seliph (Feb 7, 2016)

Karminny said:


> i wouldnt hang around people that have sex all the time w different people



A lot of yall are saying this and like I'm just wondering how exactly you would know if someone had sex all the time

People don't wear signs that say "I banged 10 dudes this past week" so are you just gonna stop being friends with someone the minute they say they're sexually active?


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## NursePhantump (Feb 7, 2016)

No. End of story. No matter what someone does with their body they still deserve respect. You don't know what they've been through, you don't know what kind of **** they've had to do to keep even living, shaming someone for their choice is wrong as hell and not ****ing ok in the slightest. Also sidenote here your mom sounds mildly abusive but since I don't live in the situation I can't say for certain.


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## visibleghost (Feb 7, 2016)

i dont rly get why some of you are saying that you wouldnt hang out w ppl who have a lot of sex w/ different people?? i mean, i get if you dont want to talk about sex or stuff like that with them but like ??? why does it even matter if they have a ton of sex lmao can't you still b friends


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## Psydye (Feb 7, 2016)

It's the one issue that burns me to the core! I've ALWAYS hated people who do this, it makes me angry that people are this immature, but it can't be helped! We're H-U-M-A-N-I-T-Y, we project our own past miseries onto other people through vitriolic terminology!


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## visibleghost (Feb 7, 2016)

Psydye said:


> It's the one issue that burns me to the core! I've ALWAYS hated people who do this, it makes me angry that people are this immature, but it can't be helped! We're H-U-M-A-N-I-T-Y, we project our own past miseries onto other people through vitriolic terminology!



what


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## Anine (Feb 7, 2016)

I don't care how much sex someone does or doesn't have, unless I am having sex with them as well. Like, that's the only instance where I can think of it is cool for you to be critical of someone's sex life, if you're part of it. If you're not part of it, well, then it really isn't your business at all. By all means, if you know a friend of yours has a lot of random unprotected sex, then sure, warning them that hey, bad things could come out of this, is fair enough. But there's a big difference between educating and shaming and in all honesty, most people I know who happens to have sex with people they pick up also happen to know how to buy condoms and why they should use them.


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## Foxxie (Feb 7, 2016)

lencurryboy said:


> i dont rly get why some of you are saying that you wouldnt hang out w ppl who have a lot of sex w/ different people?? i mean, i get if you dont want to talk about sex or stuff like that with them but like ??? why does it even matter if they have a ton of sex lmao can't you still b friends



This.  Honestly.  I can take sex or leave it, but I have some really good friends who are extremely sexually active... I am aware that they do it and good for them, if that's what they want to do... you are potentially missing out on some awesome friendships because you are judging them based on one aspect of their life, which again has absolutely *nothing* to do with you and wouldn't affect you in any way whatsoever.


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## Psydye (Feb 7, 2016)

lencurryboy said:


> what


Basically what I'm getting at is that people tend to do this because they probably got cheated on in the past or something and so they see anyone as promiscuous as something "bad" and judge them for it..or something like that. I lost my train of thought. Damn.


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## watercolorwish (Feb 7, 2016)

This will always be a no, slut shaming is in no way an okay thing to do. Worry about yourself


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## Twisterheart (Feb 7, 2016)

I don't care as long as they aren't constantly talking about how much sex they're having or as long as they're being mature about it and not reckless. I don't like when people go around sleeping with as many people as possible but not even bothering to wear protection. It bothers me even more when people brag about not using protection. That's how diseases get spread.


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## seliph (Feb 7, 2016)

Psydye said:


> Basically what I'm getting at is that people tend to do this because they probably got cheated on in the past or something and so they see anyone as promiscuous as something "bad" and judge them for it..or something like that. I lost my train of though. Damn.



I really doubt it has anything to do with any sort of trauma.

I think the big reasons are 1. That for so long, society's been telling people that women who are sexually active are lesser and people have eaten it up, and 2. The stigma amongst mostly younger people that losing your virginity/having sex is such a huge accomplishment to show off and be proud of, which has become something that people use against each other. So people are bitter that others are getting more than them and thus calling each other sluts and whatnot.

And then of course there's the guys who will call women who have slept with anyone who isn't them "sluts" because so many straight guys have this weird mindset where if they aren't the girl's first, she must be a nasty ho.


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## Psydye (Feb 7, 2016)

nvll said:


> I really doubt it has anything to do with any sort of trauma.
> 
> I think the big reasons are 1. That for so long, society's been telling people that women who are sexually active are lesser and people have eaten it up, and 2. The stigma amongst mostly younger people that losing your virginity/having sex is such a huge accomplishment to show off and be proud of, which has become something that people use against each other. So people are bitter that others are getting more than them and thus calling each other sluts and whatnot.
> 
> And then of course there's the guys who will call women who have slept with anyone who isn't them "sluts" because so many straight guys have this weird mindset where if they aren't the girl's first, she must be a nasty ho.


If that's how people REALLY are, it's pathetic! This explains why I'm so misanthropic.


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## AmaiiTenshii (Feb 9, 2016)

slut shaming is just stupid like their sex life aint hurting you??? idk


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## Chocofruit (Feb 9, 2016)

Slut shaming is just stupid in my eyes. It's just a gender centered remark against a female, used for bullying, like any other thing anyday of the week. Just because some guy/guys think you're a slut, doesn't mean anything. It's just a dumb remark. 

It's just like the remark "chicken" against boys or other things like Pretty boy. You're targeting their masculinity, but you don't see *"#StopChickenShaming"* going around, because it's stupid. 

It's just normal bullying/name-calling. It's bad, but not *THAT* bad. 
Slut shaming is just a deal that was made too big.


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## mogyay (Feb 9, 2016)

Chocofruit said:


> Slut shaming is just stupid in my eyes. It's just a gender centered remark against a female, used for bullying, like any other thing anyday of the week. Just because some guy/guys think you're a slut, doesn't mean anything. It's just a dumb remark.
> 
> It's just like the remark "chicken" against boys or other things like Pretty boy. You're targeting their masculinity, but you don't see *"#StopChickenShaming"* going around, because it's stupid.
> 
> ...



ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no it's not the same at ALL. there's absolutely not as much stigma for a guy sleeping around than a girl. i absolutely agree that men shouldn't be put down or named called and i think that in many ways men face as much social pressure's as women but in regard to 'slut shaming' there's a double standard (hence why there's a million different variations on the world slut but not as many for guys) and ppl are trying to address it so don't say it's not a big deal.


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## seliph (Feb 9, 2016)

Chocofruit said:


> It's just like the remark "chicken" against boys or other things like Pretty boy. You're targeting their masculinity, but you don't see *"#StopChickenShaming"* going around, because it's stupid.



If someone called me "Pretty boy" I'd be overjoyed
They're literally calling you good looking


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## Sig (Feb 9, 2016)

Chocofruit said:


> It's just like the remark "chicken" against boys or other things like Pretty boy.



i get called pretty boy as a compliment ?? the person is literally calling me pretty


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## mogyay (Feb 9, 2016)

not to mention chickens are v cute lil creatures??


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## CommanderLeahShepard (Feb 10, 2016)

Slut shaming is *NEVER* right in my opinion. You shouldn't name call or look down on people for having sex with people, especially since it is a part of our human nature.

I was once slut shamed in school. A 'friend' was asking me questions in a lesson about what I have done with my boyfriend and when I was pressured into telling her that we have had sex, she called me a "dirty sl*t and a wh*re." I find it super offensive as it should not matter how many people you have had sex with or if you have had a physical relationship, it should matter about the person you are on the inside. Furthermore, when word got spread around school about my situation, I received several remarks about how I was sl*tty and the like. 

Sex is such a natural thing and people shouldn't be stigmatised for it. I also stand by that no matter what you wear, you are not a slut (as I had argued in a previous thread similar to this issue). People just need to relax and understand that if someone wants to have sex and it is legal/safe, then they can and shouldn't be ashamed of it!


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## Aestivate (Feb 10, 2016)

I do believe that 90% of women (and men), are doing prostitution not because they want to, but for a situation that happened to occur in their life. Those people are most likely already shamed for that they need to do prostituation and so, in my opinion,  there's no need for the public to rub that in. 
I know that there are also people who get into prostitution voluntarily and honestly, who am I to judge them? People have all kinds of hobbies and interests and if you enjoy sex, then prostitution might be an easy way for you to make some money and do something you like, no matter how weird that may sound. So no, I don't believe that people who are in prostituation ''have no respect for their body''. 

Of course it's also an image society creates. Drama series/soaps bringing the subject of prostituation up regularly in a negative way. The taboo of paying for sex that still excists in a lot of countries and the 'insults' including whore- and slut-calling. Ah well, I don't think you can ever really get rid of the shaming around certain subjects but luckily there are people who have  - I'm sorry to say this - a way higher tolerance level then your mother seems to have.


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## Belle of Pripyat (Feb 10, 2016)

sakura miku said:


> i get called pretty boy as a compliment ?? the person is literally calling me pretty



I think what Chocofruit means is that men generally don't want to be called pretty. It's an insult to many men to be thought of as feminine.


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## Aestivate (Feb 10, 2016)

sakura miku said:


> i get called pretty boy as a compliment ?? the person is literally calling me pretty



There is just a difference of usage for genders when it comes to the words handsome and pretty. Also, what Belle of Pripyat said, both genders would most likely feel insulted because you're referring to them with a word meant for the other gender.


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## Maelawni (Feb 10, 2016)

I think the obvious answer is no, shaming women for being "slutty" is not okay.
We all know it mainly only happens to women anyway.
It's a double standard I'd like to go away soon. Let women be comfortable with their sexuality.
And I say that knowing a lot of women do it to other women, because you know, internalized misogyny.


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