# Villagers being real friends, is this kind of pathetic?



## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

I've been debating for a while now if I should make this thread or not, as the topic is kind of embarrassing. However, I don't know a better place than to ask and discuss this than here. 
Just please don't laugh because I'm really in a bad place right now. Anyway...

Here's a kind of long-ish read about it in detail. I stuck a tl;dr version underneath, though I think reading this (if it's not too much trouble) might help to understand where I'm coming from.


Spoiler



My whole life I've never had many friends, and now, at my age, I have maybe...one person I could actually consider a friend. Otherwise I'm consistently ignored by everybody, despite how often I try to reach out to people. I have spent a lot of time and effort to make real friends, but that's not so much the point, so please don't just suggest I try harder to make friends. It's not that easy for me. My main concern is my reliance on new leaf to _feel_ like I have actual friends.

I've found that, especially lately, I've been playing new leaf more and more to the point where I feel like I'm bordering obsession. Why? Because my villagers talk to me, compliment me, worry about me, give me cute nicknames, visit me, send me letters, worry when I don't play for a long time, and give me presents just because they want to or think I'd like it. 

In the back of my mind I know that the things villagers say are just random lines generated by the game that are said to anyone who plays. I also know that these virtual worlds are not reality and at my age I shouldn't be like this. I've considered that it's possible something is really wrong with me, as I do have a history of mental illness (depression, anxiety, possibly others.)

However, after being so lonely for so long, I've found that I start to cling on to those little kind clips because it's the only time I ever feel like I'm worth anything at all. People I talk to never compliment me. Nobody worries if I'm working too hard and I look tired. Nobody ever thinks of me or just gives me a nice little thing because they thought of me. Even my family doesn't treat me like that, though they expect me to treat them that way. In fact, most people in my life are generally hostile to me and get angry at me for being depressed when 'other people have it worse.' I have no positive force in my life.

There were times I've been lonely to the point I'd sit here trying not to cry, and I'd hop on my game only to have a villager pass me a compliment or send me a letter saying they thought about me and turn my mood around. It's like a comforting, real friend that I don't have. When I'm feeling depressed during the day, I know that if I turn on my game and play one of my towns, my villagers will be really sweet to me and make me feel better. I have nobody at all who is like that in reality. Nobody likes me, period.

I'm just unsure if I should be concerned or not about so heavily relying on a video game to make me feel better about myself or feel like I'm worth anything.



tl;dr
Is it pathetic to consider my villagers my friends? Like real, actual friends? 
If not pathetic, should I at least be _concerned_ that I've come to rely on my villagers to validate my existing?


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## Mariah (Dec 12, 2015)

It sounds really pathetic. I don't think you should be telling people this.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Huggy and Aurora were my favorite friends in the Gamecube game.  I thought they were good friends.  I always liked my friends that I hung out with on my street more though, since they were real lol. It's not pathetic though.


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## Kittyinpink87 (Dec 12, 2015)

Nah i don't think so.
If they make you happy thats good enough.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Mariah said:


> It sounds really pathetic. I don't think you should be telling people this.



Wow that's the harshest thing I think I've seen on this forum.  While I'd agree I prefer human interaction with my lifelong friends, I still can't deny that some villagers can create a connection with you.  For me, thought, it's more like they're a cute pet since my only pets growing up were goldfish.  Namstar don't feel bad for how you look at your villagers.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

AndyP08 said:


> Wow that's the harshest thing I think I've seen on this forum.  While I'd agree I prefer human interaction with my lifelong friends, I still can't deny that some villagers can create a connection with you.  For me, thought, it's more like they're a cute pet since my only pets growing up were goldfish.  Namstar don't feel bad for how you look at your villagers.



I was debating on if I wanted to reply to that or not because I wasn't sure if it's just because I'm really sensitive right now or if it really was kind of rude. I did ask for opinions on if it was or wasn't pathetic, and it's alright if they think so but it would be nice to know why. 

I'd really, really like to have friends I connect with in reality and I've tried and I'm still trying. I haven't yet given up trying. Still, for now at least, my villagers are at least nice to me and cheer me up.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> I was debating on if I wanted to reply to that or not because I wasn't sure if it's just because I'm really sensitive right now or if it really was kind of rude. I did ask for opinions on if it was or wasn't pathetic, and it's alright if they think so but it would be nice to know why.
> 
> I'd really, really like to have friends I connect with in reality and I've tried and I'm still trying. I haven't yet given up trying. Still, for now at least, my villagers are at least nice to me and cheer me up.



It was absolutely a rude post.  Don't let people treat you like that.  I grew up a shy kid, but now I teach 2nd graders so I can't be shy really (at least to them. I am outgoing to my team but still hate public speaking to adults).  I have spent time sitting alone at lunch tables when my lifelong friends didn't have my lunch in middle school.  I hated middle school though.  High school was easier since I did band and NHS and met fun people.  I'm going to meet up with my lifelong friends (the friends that lived on my street in elementary school) this Winter break! One is even engaged to her girlfriend and I'm so excited to celebrate with her! I also understand why this game is therapeutic as well.  Please don't let people disrespect you like the one poster did.  You're worth more than that.


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## SarahBearah (Dec 12, 2015)

I don't know if people would understand your connection with the villagers, but all of us know where you're coming from, and a lot of us have strong connections to our villagers. It's nothing to be ashamed of, don't be embarrassed about it, but I wouldn't start a conversation talking about them.


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## Mariah (Dec 12, 2015)

AndyP08 said:


> Wow that's the harshest thing I think I've seen on this forum.  While I'd agree I prefer human interaction with my lifelong friends, I still can't deny that some villagers can create a connection with you.  For me, thought, it's more like they're a cute pet since my only pets growing up were goldfish.  Namstar don't feel bad for how you look at your villagers.



I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Mariah said:


> I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?



I guess I saw  you as a troll at first.  If it is your vaild opinion, I can't argue with that.  I just want the OP to know that they have people they can turn to because I do get it. In the same sense, I did consider your post rude and I won't filter my opinion, but it is how you feel and I can't influence your opinion as well.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

AndyP08 said:


> It was absoltely a rude post.  Don't let people treat you like that.  I grew up a shy kid, but now I teach 2nd graders so I can't be shy really (at least to them).  I have spent time sitting alone at lunch tables when my lifelong friends didn't have my lunch in middle school.  I hated middle school though.  High school was easier since I did band and NHS.  I'm going to meet up with my lifelong friends (the friends that lived on my street in elementary school) this Winter break! I also understand why this game is therapudic as well.  Please don't let people disrespect you like the one poster did.  You're worth more than that.



I was never really shy when I was little, and maybe that was a part of my problem, but I was bullied throughout school since fourth grade all the way until I graduated high school. Most of the friends I did make I couldn't keep because they didn't want to really associate with someone who was picked on a lot, since it would make them a potential target as well. It's a real bummer because I've always tried to be really nice to everyone, I was quiet and didn't cause trouble. Still, I was relentlessly bullied. I should have a tough skin by now but I don't. In fact I'm more sensitive than most people my age are. But that's another problem. 

Thank you though, I see you around a lot and you're always nice to people. I needed the support.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Mariah said:


> I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?



I think it was the way you said it more than anything. It's fine if you feel that way, and yeah, I did ask. I don't see what's wrong with me telling people about it, as everyone I've met on these forums have been really nice to me and understanding so I felt like it was alright to open up a bit and see if maybe someone else had a similar experience or felt the same way. Sometimes it takes one person mentioning a topic that's kind of embarrassing (which I admitted) to get someone else to not feel so alone if they're going through the same thing but are afraid to talk about it for fear of being harshly judged.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> I was never really shy when I was little, and maybe that was a part of my problem, but I was bullied throughout school since fourth grade all the way until I graduated high school. Most of the friends I did make I couldn't keep because they didn't want to really associate with someone who was picked on a lot, since it would make them a potential target as well. It's a real bummer because I've always tried to be really nice to everyone, I was quiet and didn't cause trouble. Still, I was relentlessly bullied. I should have a tough skin by now but I don't. In fact I'm more sensitive than most people my age are. But that's another problem.
> 
> Thank you though, I see you around a lot and you're always nice to people. I needed the support.



Well I just want you to know that while I'm not a virtual animal, I'm a real guy and I understand you and am here if you ever want to talk and have a friend  We are a community here after all!


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

SarahBearah said:


> I don't know if people would understand your connection with the villagers, but all of us know where you're coming from, and a lot of us have strong connections to our villagers. It's nothing to be ashamed of, don't be embarrassed about it, but I wouldn't start a conversation talking about them.



I rarely, if ever talk about this to people. This was the first time I've really even opened up about it to anyone because I wasn't sure how it would make me look. I've just been having a rough time and wanted to get this off my chest to people who might understand, as we're all AC fans here.


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## Kittyinpink87 (Dec 12, 2015)

Yeah. I'm always telling my husband what funny things villagers told me or what not. 
I love the game so i have no shame saying that.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Kittyinpink87 said:


> Yeah. I'm always telling my husband what funny things villagers told me or what not.
> I love the game so i have no shame saying that.



Thank you for having no shame! I saw my 12 year old cousin tonight and we share a connection through this game.  He asked me if I had the reset center or police station yet since I started wayyyyy later than he did with this game (although I was playing AC a year before he was born XD).  Namstar, don't ever be ashamed.  Take pride in what makes you happy.  The people here who support you are what matters.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

Kittyinpink87 said:


> Yeah. I'm always telling my husband what funny things villagers told me or what not.
> I love the game so i have no shame saying that.



I do talk about the game to people but in the same way I'd talk about any game I play. I work with little kids and a lot of them play games and like to talk about stuff like animal crossing with me. Sometimes they even ask me how to do stuff, which is pretty cool. That and Pokemon. I'm constantly asked Pokemon questions. At least I'm useful for that haha.


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## Kittyinpink87 (Dec 12, 2015)

AndyP08 said:


> Thank you for having no shame! I saw my 12 year old cousin tonight and we share a connection through this game.  He asked me if I had the reset center or police station yet since I started wayyyyy later than he did with this game (although I was playing AC a year before he was born XD).  Namstar, don't ever be ashamed.  Take pride in what makes you happy.  The people here who support you are what matters.



Yeah!! While not trying to get off topic. I don't care if other women ever look at me weird for playing my 3ds in public.  It makes me happy , and whatever makes you happy as long as its not hurting others is all that really matters!


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## Shay10 (Dec 12, 2015)

Villagers are great friends!! You should still keep trying to make friends in real life, don't give up!!! it's also ok to have attachments to villagers, i know i'm pretty attached to puddles! I can honestly say that my villagers make me happy after a hard day at college and i'm too tired to do anything else . I have real friends, but i sometimes prefer my villagers because as you say they are for the most part friendly and caring. Just be careful with how much you depend on your villagers or people, don't always rely on them to cheer you up. You need to work on cheering yourself up by doing things that make you feel fufilled, for me it's helping people and making music. Do some soul searching to see what really makes you smile and feel good Also!!!! Ignore the rude ass hat!!!!!


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## starlightsong (Dec 12, 2015)

Honestly? No you shouldn't be so dependent on them, that's maybe a bit unhealthy, but it's certainly not unusual to consider fictional characters friends and feel close connections with them  
For example I feel so stupidly close to Riku from Kingdom Hearts it's not funny; thinking about his experiences and how things have worked for him, it makes me feel better about myself and I wish he was real so we could be friends and I could have someone understand me. I could talk about Riku for hours, like he's a friend, even though I know he's literally just pixels and data. Is that 
pathetic? Maybe. But it makes me happy and gives me hope for myself.
So hey, if considering the villagers your friends makes you happy then you do you! But at the same time, I hope you can find someone else on the internet or in real life that you can be friends with! <3


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

I guess it really depends. I've been in your situation before, and I still really only have 3 or 4 friends, 2 very close ones (only one of which is IRL) but I have a thicker skin than most so idk. If it were me, I'd probably consider myself pathetic lmao but you and I are different people, so I can't make that judgment.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

starlightsong said:


> Honestly? No you shouldn't be so dependent on them, that's maybe a bit unhealthy, but it's certainly not unusual to consider fictional characters friends and feel close connections with them
> For example I feel so stupidly close to Riku from Kingdom Hearts it's not funny; thinking about his experiences and how things have worked for him, it makes me feel better about myself and I wish he was real so we could be friends and I could have someone understand me. I could talk about Riku for hours, like he's a friend, even though I know he's literally just pixels and data. Is that
> pathetic? Maybe. But it makes me happy and gives me hope for myself.
> So hey, if considering the villagers your friends makes you happy then you do you! But at the same time, I hope you can find someone else on the internet or in real life that you can be friends with! <3



I do agree with this.  While my villagers personally help me escape from work (I'm 26 now) I hope you can find a few great  and true friends in real life.  It is great to have them here.   Like I said, I'm real and will be here for you!


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## 0pizzachu23 (Dec 12, 2015)

This question is silly. I am friends with all sorts of stuff and folks most people would lock me up for if they knew how I felt... Like my cat! And this aloe plant I occasionally water and don't actually think is an aloe plant because it has no aloe in it. Just because something doesn't live like we do doesn't mean it isn't alive in some capacity. Not to mention our species' awesome gift of projection. I genuinely feel like if you pour enough energy into an "inanimate" object it gains life we can't quantify.

Soooo no. It's not pathetic, you're ahead of the curve. All our grandkids are gonna be calling us bigots for not trusting the "virtual people" in the future and you'll just be chillin out with Fuschia like: "Psssssh".

All in all? Don't worry about how others perceive you. You're just avante garde.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

I really appreciate all the kind words from everyone. A big part of me was expecting to be laughed right off the forums, and I was kind of worried because I love coming here and talking about new leaf with everyone. 

I guess, for now, it's not as big of a problem as I thought it might be. As long as I don't let myself get to the point where I ignore my whole life and don't at least keep trying to make friends it shouldn't be an issue. And at the very least, at least I'm doing something that makes me happy. Sometimes people don't even have that.


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## starlightsong (Dec 12, 2015)

0pizzachu23 said:


> This question is silly. I am friends with all sorts of stuff and folks most people would lock me up for if they knew how I felt... Like my cat! And this aloe plant I occasionally water and don't actually think is an aloe plant because it has no aloe in it. Just because something doesn't live like we do doesn't mean it isn't alive in some capacity. Not to mention our species' awesome gift of projection. I genuinely feel like if you pour enough energy into an "inanimate" object it gains life we can't quantify.
> 
> Soooo no. It's not pathetic, you're ahead of the curve. All our grandkids are gonna be calling us bigots for not trusting the "virtual people" in the future and you'll just be chillin out with Fuschia like: "Psssssh".
> 
> All in all? Don't worry about how others perceive you. You're just avante garde.



Dude I have to agree with this so much! Honestly it seems crazy, it seems so stupid, but I believe that our pets and our plants, fictional characters even, things like that, can have life if we care enough about them. I mean take for example a book, if you write a book and nobody reads it then it's just sitting on a shelf being ignored... not impacting anyone... but if your book gets popular, and people can identify with and enjoy your characters and become engrossed in the world you've written, then you've made a difference and your book becomes real to someone! It becomes more than just words on the pages because people have been changed for the better by it.

Sorry if that makes no sense at all and was a pointless tangent, haha, but basically what I'm saying is... if you care about Midge or Frita or whoever and feel as if they care about you then who's to say it's not real?


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

starlightsong said:


> Dude I have to agree with this so much! Honestly it seems crazy, it seems so stupid, but I believe that our pets and our plants, fictional characters even, things like that, can have life if we care enough about them. I mean take for example a book, if you write a book and nobody reads it then it's just sitting on a shelf being ignored... not impacting anyone... but if your book gets popular, and people can identify with and enjoy your characters and become engrossed in the world you've written, then you've made a difference and your book becomes real to someone! It becomes more than just words on the pages because people have been changed for the better by it.
> 
> Sorry if that makes no sense at all and was a pointless tangent, haha, but basically what I'm saying is... if you care about Midge or Frita or whoever and feel as if they care about you then who's to say it's not real?



As they say in Harry Potter, "of course it's happening in your head, but why on earth should that mean it's not real?"
(sorry, nerdy moment haha)

I think for me I kind of worried because they're animals that I'm getting attached to and not human characters. If it was a fictional human character it's seen as more 'normal' and we can relate to them more because we're both humans, even though one may be in a book, movie, etc. It's harder to relate to a talking anteater or something I guess haha. 

Then again, people consider their pets to be the friends (especially dog lovers, you always hear them talking about 'mans best friend') and it's not so strange. So perhaps it's really not all -that- odd to consider fictional video game characters like a friend, even if they're a different species.


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## Mentagon (Dec 12, 2015)

Mariah said:


> I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever.



Well... I mean, with the way you responded to the question of an obviously upset person I guess that's not too surprising. I'm a firm believer in not being a **** to people, but come on, lay off her. OP, if you want friends, don't act like this chick, ever, no one likes a *****. 

And the funny thing is, I actually agree with her to an extent. But I don't know what kind of situation you're in and I'd feel really cruel if I said you were "pathetic," because I don't think you are. Pathetic people are people who have control over their actions and continue to do stupid things, but depression and anxiety isn't even related to that. It forces you to behave a certain way, trust me, I'm on medication and the apathy and lack of caring SUCKS. It really does. 

I'm not a doctor though, and I don't claim to be, if you get a chance, seeing a psychiatrist or therapist can be pretty beneficial. Even if you can't though, don't give up hope, if AC makes you happy and you consider your villagers close friends, then I'm glad you've found a good way to enjoy your life! Just please don't forget that you need real people in your life as well, I know it's hard, but when you find someone it really does make your life so much better. 

And you can always talk to me if you'd like, and (most) people on this forum are incredibly nice.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> As they say in Harry Potter, "of course it's happening in your head, but why on earth should that mean it's not real?"
> (sorry, nerdy moment haha)
> 
> I think for me I kind of worried because they're animals that I'm getting attached to and not human characters. If it was a fictional human character it's seen as more 'normal' and we can relate to them more because we're both humans, even though one may be in a book, movie, etc. It's harder to relate to a talking anteater or something I guess haha.
> ...



Ha I had a best friend from high school and I'm pretty sure she would've saved her pets over any of her human friends.  You shouldn't worry.


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## Hopeless Opus (Dec 12, 2015)

No, it's not pathetic. Many people do this already after all, don't they? I've seen people refer to characters in such a way before this. People do this with their favorite characters very often.

I personally do not find it weird at all. The villagers are adorable, who wouldn't want to be friends with them? You shouldn't put yourself down or think you'll get put down for it, be positive about it. Even if you don't have friends right now, there is always someone out there waiting. It is certainly not pathetic to think of adorable animals as your friends and that you're close with them.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

Grim Sleeper said:


> Well... I mean, with the way you responded to the question of an obviously upset person I guess that's not too surprising. I'm a firm believer in not being a **** to people, but come on, lay off her. OP, if you want friends, don't act like this chick, ever, no one likes a *****.
> 
> And the funny thing is, I actually agree with her to an extent. But I don't know what kind of situation you're in and I'd feel really cruel if I said you were "pathetic," because I don't think you are. Pathetic people are people who have control over their actions and continue to do stupid things, but depression and anxiety isn't even related to that. It forces you to behave a certain way, trust me, I'm on medication and the apathy and lack of caring SUCKS. It really does.
> 
> ...



It's actually fairly recent that I've been feeling like this about the game/my villagers too. I've been playing for around a year now casually because it was fun. It seems like after my grandpa died in October and a lot of other difficult, personal issues have been happening I've found myself turning to the game to kind of cope with it, because I had/have no human friends to talk to so I at least found comfort in getting complimented by my villagers. It does feel silly and it sounds silly (especially considering my age), but it's really all I have right now that's not dragging me down.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm going off to bed now (it's actually close to 3:30am and I haven't stayed up this late in months, just been too upset tonight to sleep) but I'll read anything you guys have to say when I can tomorrow. I'm very grateful you've all been pretty kind about it for the most part. I really like this fandom.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> It's actually fairly recent that I've been feeling like this about the game/my villagers too. I've been playing for around a year now casually because it was fun. It seems like after my grandpa died in October and a lot of other difficult, personal issues have been happening I've found myself turning to the game to kind of cope with it, because I had/have no human friends to talk to so I at least found comfort in getting complimented by my villagers. It does feel silly and it sounds silly (especially considering my age), but it's really all I have right now that's not dragging me down.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> I'm going off to bed now (it's actually close to 3:30am and I haven't stayed up this late in months, just been too upset tonight to sleep) but I'll read anything you guys have to say when I can tomorrow. I'm very grateful you've all been pretty kind about it for the most part. I really like this fandom.



If you read anything at all on here, please make sure you read that you're worth more than you give yourself credit for.  I don't completely know what is getting you down, but I do know that you're a nice person


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## Deak (Dec 12, 2015)

Yes. Be concerned. 


They say the same thing to everyone. Sure, these little villagers are great and fun. But there's nothing like putting yourself out there and being social irl. Or play acnl with friends on here often and make bonds. 

But this also really isn't the place to try and have an intervention etc. 

Just redirect that friendship effort into something more concrete.


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## Belle of Pripyat (Dec 12, 2015)

I don't have friends by choice. It's easy for me to make friends, but I'm a loner. It's hard for me to _want_ to be around other people, which is why I've allowed my friendships to fade. I love my villagers, but I wouldn't be devasted if I lost them because they're not real. I feel a little sad for you because it seems like you'd love to have more real life friends. Even if it's uncomfortable, the only way to make friends is to get out there and talk to people. You could join a group. What do you like? Dance, fitness, cooking, art...? Church can be a good place to meet nice people if that's something that interests you. Do you work? You spend more time with coworkers than anyone else, besides the people you live with. If you're in school, try to find someone to study with.


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## Sanxithe (Dec 12, 2015)

Hey.. just wanted to give you some encouragement..

I have depression and because of it I haven't been going to school since May. And I've stopped talking to my friends completely as they have forgotten my existence. I think it's perfectly fine to confide in animal crossing for care and comfort. The game actually is helping me a lot. If not for it forcing me to get up and find fossils and do deeds for my villagers, I wouldn't even care what time of the day it is. I wouldn't get out of bed. I don't dare to even try and contact my real life friends but at least I can do it with computers... I don't know.. It just helps me get into a "daily life" kinda routine... even if it's virtual it benefits me a lot

A frequent thing I tell myself whenever I feel suicidal at night is that yes, life may suck. Yes, I have no friends or a reason to live. But Ruby will be lonely if I don't be there tomorrow to play. I want to build a snowman tomorrow. The shops will have new items tomorrow. My flowers will grow and I can serve Ruby her favourite Blue Mountain with lots of milk and sugar and she'll compliment me and love me so much.........

You're not weird. You're helping yourself


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## Dorian (Dec 12, 2015)

One of the things I really love about these forums is the fact that we are all varying ages and therefore, have different levels of life experience. Sweetie-pie, I know enough about you from your posts to know you struggle with the 'real world' if that is what we are calling it. How real that world actually is is pretty subjective at this point if you ask me. Listen, as long as you can function successfully enough out there to hold a job and be able to take care of yourself (because you must continue to take care of yourself so you can eat and have a place to live), whatever you want to believe about your AC game is up to you. Do I find you pathetic? Of course not. You are a sensitive, beautiful and very thoughtful human being. I empathize with your struggle and as an empath, I, more than most, feel your pain as my own. We all have things we rely on in this life to take away the pain when things outside our doors get too hard or too real. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with relying on these cute little pixels to get you through this obviously painful and difficult time in your life. Many friends here made a point to let you know that they are here for you. So my advice would be this: strike a balance. Spend time with your AC friends in the game and then spend time with your AC friends on the forums. As many have said, there are all sorts of wonderful people here. But the best and most honest advice I can give you is this: stop thinking, talking and advertising the fact that you consider yourself or worry that others consider you as pathetic. You must retrain your brain to stop using labels that are so self-destructive. They will not serve you. They will ensnare you and assure a lifetime of misery. Look at these four pages of friends who gave their time and energy to read your words and reply. I must give a shout out to Andy particularly for his replies. Way to go, bro. Namstar, I know how much you struggle and I understand. I wish I could provide some magic words, but there aren't any. There is just time and experience. Life ebbs and flows and you are simply stagnating right now. But rain will come one day, open up the little puddle that keeps you trapped and you will rejoin the river. Just remember that your job is to keep paddling. I send you all my love, sweetie.


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## kuromi (Dec 12, 2015)

I do not think it's pathetic, honestly when you're in a tough position, believing them is such a stress relief. Honestly there was a time in my life my main reason not to die was "what would my villagers think/say if they found out i intend to kill myself?" i know their company cannot be compared to human, real people. but it's so great that they do not let us down, they're always there for you and they dont hurt our feelings. Having "real" friends is so much more trouble than it's believed! Making friends is hard, and mantaining them is even harder. In animal crossing, it feels that your villagers do like you regardless of your problems, and do miss you while you're absent, etc. Trust me, it's better to be attached to your acnl villagers than to be attached to nothing at all in life. THAT is harmful. Finding comfort in video games isnt necessarily a bad sign. Everyone has something they use to ease their pain and cope with it. Do not worry, you're not harming anyone being attachd to your ac villagers, so it's very wrong that people on this thread are saying you're a bad person for this. You're not! They are way worse than you.
I hope you feel better soon, please do not blame yourself for feeling this way.


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## HMCaprica (Dec 12, 2015)

wow reading some of these makes me wonder why some even play. I don't think its pathetic at all. We all have our OWN ways of dealing with life and how we view friends. That being said thank you for sharing I am 100% sure some can relate to your story.
Don't let negative people bring you down. They are not living YOUR life and you should do what makes YOU happy.


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## MTPockets (Dec 12, 2015)

First off thank you for being so genuine and writing about this. I imagine it could have easily been very intimidating. My answers to your questions are not exactly simple though. It's totally normal to feel attached to your villagers. Lots of games are capable of producing a similar effect where you know something isn't real, but you still feel close to it. Heck I've even had some student placements at institutions where they gave some people with low social skills DSs and copies of nintendogs. Granted, I'm pretty sure their mental health concerns and/or pathologies were more severe than yours, but I feel like the general principle is the same. Heck, I was bullied constantly growing up and grew to have a very strong bond to Maple in the gamecube version as well as all the pokemon on my yellow version. I knew they weren't real, but I felt close to them. That was over ten years ago now though so I also think age and being able to suspend your disbelief have something to do with it. 

So yeah, totally normal for you to feel close to villagers, but I don't think it can really be called a "friendship." Friendship is reciprocal, while this seems more therapeutic. I wouldn't call it pathetic. If something is helpful to you without being harmful it's probably a good thing, but if it bothers you (specifically you and you alone) I would do some reflection and explore your options. Why does it bother you? Is it depression and mental illness talking or do you genuinely feel bad about it? Obviously if its the prior one you need to seek help in case your experiencing a major depressive episode or something like that (not a psychologist, I can't really say what you're experiencing, but you mentioned having a history). I'm afraid I don't really know what to say if its the second one. I'm not saying you need to try harder to make friends, but maybe its worth seeing if there are any approaches to the situation you haven't taken yet or options you don't know of yet. I'm no expert on making friends. I spent every lunch hour until my second last year of high school eating by myself. I'm sorry if I can't be of much help. I have no advice on how to make friends and I'm not going to tell you whether you should be concerned or not. The only one who can decide that is you. All I can say is to think on the matter to sort out your own feelings and not to give up on making real friends even if it seems hopeless.


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## Manah (Dec 12, 2015)

Maybe real people are pathetic when virtual animals are so much better at being nice to others. Just a thought.


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## Dorian (Dec 12, 2015)

Well said, Manah, as evidenced by that first comment on this thread. That was truly a showing of the worst this forum has to offer: random cruelty for cruelties sake. Yes, we all have a right to offer up our opinion, but I am not of the belief that kicking someone while they are down seves any purpose but to make the kicker feel superior within themselves. It was a ****ty thing to say and that is *my* opinion.


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## daynapapaya (Dec 12, 2015)

If it helps, I talked about something very similar with my therapist once...she said, basically, that as long as you're not giving up on making connections IRL or isolating yourself, that what you're doing is fine and nothing to be ashamed of. Of course there will be people who think less of you for it if you tell them (like that first comment), but those people really don't matter, and you can't allow them to interfere with what happiness you've managed to find for yourself. Those of us with mental illnesses have to do whatever we can to find things that make us happy, and if someone doesn't understand that or isn't willing to, then they're not worth your time.


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## Amilee (Dec 12, 2015)

Sanxithe said:


> Hey.. just wanted to give you some encouragement..
> 
> I have depression and because of it I haven't been going to school since May. And I've stopped talking to my friends completely as they have forgotten my existence. I think it's perfectly fine to confide in animal crossing for care and comfort. The game actually is helping me a lot. If not for it forcing me to get up and find fossils and do deeds for my villagers, I wouldn't even care what time of the day it is. I wouldn't get out of bed. I don't dare to even try and contact my real life friends but at least I can do it with computers... I don't know.. It just helps me get into a "daily life" kinda routine... even if it's virtual it benefits me a lot
> 
> ...



This is exactly how i feel and i nearly cried reading this. 
Animal crossing helps me a lot. I know they are just video game characters but i feel a lot better when they tell me how much they like me. 
Is it weird? Yea probably but as long as it helps me i dont feel bad about it.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

I'm getting like...really emotional reading all these replies and the PMs I got. I'm not at all used to people being so kind to me and sticking up for me, especially people who don't even really know me. It means a lot. I'm so glad I got into this fandom, it's the nicest one I've ever been in, easily.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> I'm getting like...really emotional reading all these replies and the PMs I got. I'm not at all used to people being so kind to me and sticking up for me, especially people who don't even really know me. It means a lot. I'm so glad I got into this fandom, it's the nicest one I've ever been in, easily.



Well you shouldn't have to put up with judgements like the first comment, especially since we are a community....a GREAT, KIND community!


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

AndyP08 said:


> Well you shouldn't have to put up with judgements like the first comment, especially since we are a community....a GREAT, KIND community!



Most fandoms I've been in seem to have like...1 or 2 nice people and the rest are really intimidating or not nice. This fandom seems like the total opposite of that. No one here has ever made me feel stupid or been really harsh. I'm also a huge pokemon fan and for a while I was really into that fandom too but people there are a lot more elitist and rude so I just started playing and loving pokemon by myself. I've never felt that with this fandom. 

Then again, how could we all be mean? We're all here because we love our talking animal pals.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> Most fandoms I've been in seem to have like...1 or 2 nice people and the rest are really intimidating or not nice. This fandom seems like the total opposite of that. No one here has ever made me feel stupid or been really harsh. I'm also a huge pokemon fan and for a while I was really into that fandom too but people there are a lot more elitist and rude so I just started playing and loving pokemon by myself. I've never felt that with this fandom.
> 
> Then again, how could we all be mean? We're all here because we love our talking animal pals.



I understand.  I play a browser game called Town of Salem (although haven't played for a month or 2 now) and the forum is filled with annoying people.  It isn't like this one at all.


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## Dorian (Dec 12, 2015)

I must say that this forum has the kindest, generous, most civilized and caring people out of any forum I have ever been a part of. I am proud to be a member here. I could easily list you all by name and I am awful at remembering names. But trust me, the kindness shown here is evident each and every day. So Namstar, take a look around at all your friends  We are all here on this thread and you are in all our hearts.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

You guys are going to make me cry ;~;


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## MayorJudyOfZootopia (Dec 12, 2015)

I know how you feel... im overly attached to my villagers right now <3 i may be overprotective of some.... (i even started to get attached to Merry more because when she got sick... i noticed how much pep that took out of her) Merry, to me is like Pinkie Pie... Friendship is Magic... it isn't pathetic bro

- - - Post Merge - - -



Namstar said:


> You guys are going to make me cry ;~;



awe don't cry D:

- - - Post Merge - - -



AndyP08 said:


> Well you shouldn't have to put up with judgements like the first comment, especially since we are a community....a GREAT, KIND community!



amen bro


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

Link_The_Heroine said:


> I know how you feel... im overly attached to my villagers right now <3 i may be overprotective of some.... (i even started to get attached to Merry more because when she got sick... i noticed how much pep that took out of her) Merry, to me is like Pinkie Pie... Friendship is Magic... it isn't pathetic bro



Merry is so super sweet. I have her in a town of mine and she says the sweetest things, probably more often than most of my villagers do, actually. But at the same time she pings me to move out more than the rest of my villagers...lmao I can't win.


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## MsDemi (Dec 12, 2015)

Reading your post made me think of myself.. I Struggle a lot with mental health issues and a c is an escape, as is Pokemon.


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## Shawna (Dec 12, 2015)

You don't have to be ashamed, Namstar.

I am quite attached to Astrid right now because she is the sweetest, most motherly villager I have ever encountered in _Animal Crossing_.  She's giving me medicine for my bee stings (in pervious towns) before.  
If you are really close to a snooty villager in your Animal Crossing NewLeaf town, you know that they become the sweetest, most motherly, most selfless villager in your town.  The only things they'll ever steal from you is your heart! <3   

And the sweet things they say and do are intensified when you are feeling down.

Mathilda is my second favorite villager.  
I've had her in previous towns.  I will never forget the time when I had a fever and I logged onto my NL town and I go up to visited her.  You know what she did?  She gave me a free piece of furniture and told me what a good friend I was.  Whether in real life or in Animal Crossing, encouragement like that helps me a lot when I need it most.

Please don't be ashamed about loving your AC neighbors.  I love my favorite villagers to death and just like it does when RL people are nice to me, it also makes me happy when my favorite villagers are nice to me.  Trust me, you are not the only one to get cheered up by a villager.  It's better to have your favorite AC villagers cheer you up than no one at all! <3


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## RainCrossing (Dec 12, 2015)

They are just digital, don't forget!


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## radioloves (Dec 12, 2015)

It's okay to play animal crossing new leaf for any reason, what ever helps you cope and deal with certain situations from reality is totally fine and that's all that matters sometimes! As long as you're not hurting yourself or others I don't think it's bad at all. I'm sure with time you will find more friends, and relying on a video game to feel a little better doesn't sound like a bad thing, video games are here to entertain us and allow us to escape the world for a little though there are many other fine reasons too. The world can be pretty cruel at times , but I've seen you post around here and I think you're awesome you have great comments and you seem like a great person!


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## Twisterheart (Dec 12, 2015)

I don't think you're pathetic at all. The great thing about Animal Crossing is that your villagers are always there for you. It's nice knowing that there's an entire town of animals who admire you and who are always happy to see you. I know my villagers can cheer me up when I'm down. There's nothing wrong with considering your villagers as your friends.


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## HopeForHyrule (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar, I may not know EXACTLY how you feel, but I'm in a similar situation myself. I have my (may as well say he's my husband) and that's pretty much it. And he understands how I feel with New Leaf and my...dependency upon it, for lack of a better word.

I've never been an outgoing person, and I can count on one hand the number of friends I've had in my whole life, so yeah, having a town full of cute animals that are always happy to see you, it helps. I, too, have dealt with varying degrees of depression and anxiety for many years, and is it pathetic to rely so heavily on a video game and treat the characters like real friends? I suppose, especially to those who can't possibly understand it, but also: who cares? It obviously helps make your days a little brighter (and mine as well), and that's really all that matters.

Having said that, I've never been big on human interaction, being bullied during my formative years has left me with a bitterness when it comes to having to socialize. Add social awkwardness on top of that and...no, thank you. I've always been more of an animal person, so these games really help me bridge that gap.

So you keep being you, Namstar.


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## Allie_Rose (Dec 12, 2015)

Hi Namstar! I'm Allie or Alexandra. I haven't talked with you personally on this forum but I have read some of your posts/threads in the past and you seem like a lovely, kindhearted person. It is far from pathetic to love something. What's so cool about this forum is that everyone here loves Animal Crossing in their own way. While we all may be communicating via internet, we are communicating, and from reading this forum it sounds like you have quite a lot of wonderful friends who are here for you.


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## mayor-of-ivyvale (Dec 12, 2015)

If you take comfort in it, screw anyone else's opinion but your own about it. Life can be painful so shamelessly take happiness where you can get it!


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## MayorJudyOfZootopia (Dec 12, 2015)

RainCrossing said:


> They are just digital, don't forget!



dont ruin it for him, troll

- - - Post Merge - - -



Manah said:


> Maybe real people are pathetic when virtual animals are so much better at being nice to others. Just a thought.



Amen to THIS as well


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## Deak (Dec 12, 2015)

In this thread: if you support her, you're understanding and sweet. If you don't, you're a troll. Interesting mindsets in this forum.


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## Crash (Dec 12, 2015)

Deak said:


> In this thread: if you support her, you're understanding and sweet. If you don't, you're a troll. Interesting mindsets in this forum.


i don't think that's anywhere close to what anyone is saying here. namstar made it clear she's going through a hard time and needs support, and whatever your feelings towards this thread may be, there's no need to be rude or make her feel any worse. if you're really that hellbent on telling her she's pathetic for the love she feels for the game, at least be mature and polite about it. recommend a different solution for her problem. don't be an ass about it. i'm pretty sure that's all everyone is trying to say.​


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## Dorian (Dec 12, 2015)

Very well said, Crash. There is stating an opinion thoughtfully and there is being thoughtless with your opinion. Again, I am not a believer in kicking someone when they are down and I think that is the point here. I'm not at all calling the people who were less then kind 'trolls'. That would imply they were simply being jerks for the sake of being jerks. For me, it was worse. They were stating their opinions in what I deem to be a cruel and thoughtless manner, completely uncaring that one of their fellow members here was obviously hurting. For me, that is worse than being a troll. That's just being mean. I don't believe any of us are 'ganging up' on the people who were rude. I simply believe we are calling it like we see it. Sorry for those of you who disagree, but that's how I feel.


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

Deak said:


> In this thread: if you support her, you're understanding and sweet. If you don't, you're a troll. Interesting mindsets in this forum.



Nah, it's more like if you support them you're understanding and sweet, if you don't that's okay too, but if you're just a straight up ******* about it you're a troll. Like Dorian said, don't kick someone when they're down. That makes you a terrible person. But apparently it's fine to tell someone who's clearly in a bad place that they're pathetic for having something that genuinely makes them happy. Interesting mindsets in this forum.


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## Aerious (Dec 12, 2015)

i'll pray for you when i lay down under my warm blankets with my cat children tonight


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## Hamilton (Dec 12, 2015)

If you want to love your little animal friends, that's all up to you. The animals are essentially all family figures in their own ways. To me, I've always felt like Uchis and Snooties were like big sisters. Trying to teach you how to be fashionable, how to win fights, the occasional random conversation about potatoes, and even their own little insecurities. It really is relatable (albeit, to a mild degree) and cute, so I don't see why you should feel ashamed about it. If these animals hated you, it would be a survival of the fittest simulator.


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

Grim Sleeper said:


> Well... I mean, with the way you responded to the question of an obviously upset person I guess that's not too surprising. I'm a firm believer in not being a **** to people, but come on, lay off her. OP, if you want friends, don't act like this chick, ever, no one likes a *****.



Not gonna lie, I was really tempted to say this but I chickened out. Thank ya.


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## abbydoll (Dec 12, 2015)

No, its absolutely not pathetic at all. What's *REALLY* pathetic is that people treat others like **** and don't give them a chance.

Edit: I'm always here if you wanna talk about stuff. C:


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## Deak (Dec 12, 2015)

Crash said:


> i don't think that's anywhere close to what anyone is saying here. namstar made it clear she's going through a hard time and needs support, and whatever your feelings towards this thread may be, there's no need to be rude or make her feel any worse. if you're really that hellbent on telling her she's pathetic for the love she feels for the game, at least be mature and polite about it. recommend a different solution for her problem. don't be an ass about it. i'm pretty sure that's all everyone is trying to say.​



I've yet to say anything mean to her. I'm neutral in this and made a simple comment earlier in here. The deeper issues within the OP is something not suitable for discussion on an acnl forum. I'll let all the fake saints continue on, but just because someone disagrees doesn't mean they're a**holes, etc. Not everyone who disagreed in this thread was vulgar and rude. Smh.

- - - Post Merge - - -



gem83 said:


> Nah, it's more like if you support them you're understanding and sweet, if you don't that's okay too, but if you're just a straight up ******* about it you're a troll. Like Dorian said, don't kick someone when they're down. That makes you a terrible person. But apparently it's fine to tell someone who's clearly in a bad place that they're pathetic for having something that genuinely makes them happy. Interesting mindsets in this forum.




Perfect. We are on the same page then. 

That was easy eh?


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

I think a mod should maybe close this thread before things get out of hand. :/

Edit: not that it is out of control or anything I just don't like the arguments lol. Let's all hold hands and praise Tortimer!


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

Yeah, I really don't want this to be a place for anyone to argue! I'm all for debating the topic and giving honest opinions but I'd rather there not be name calling and fights starting. 

That being said, I'm still okay with people giving their opinion, even if it's a negative one. I did, after all, ask for any opinion. While I would prefer hearing the people who do feel it's a bit pathetic to say so more politely, I have learned that some people are just kind of more blunt without intentionally being mean. I don't think the person who was saying to remember that they're digital was trolling, just being honest. The only post that really was kind of rude was the one on the first page. 


I know you guys are being really sweet and trying to stick up for me but I don't want an argument getting the thread shut down. Especially not after I've had people messaging me and telling me that they were glad I posted this because they related to it. Not everyone with a negative opinion of my post is necessarily trolling.


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## Crash (Dec 12, 2015)

Deak said:


> I've yet to say anything mean to her. I'm neutral in this and made a simple comment earlier in here. The deeper issues within the OP is something not suitable for discussion on an acnl forum. I'll let all the fake saints continue on, but just because someone disagrees doesn't mean they're a**holes, etc. Not everyone who disagreed in this thread was vulgar and rude. Smh.


i wasn't referring to you...? nor was i referring to anyone who disagreed with her as long as they weren't arrogant about it? i very simply said that if you're rude or cruel to someone who's in pain, you're an ass. you're very right, not everyone who disagreed was rude at all. but some people were, and that's who i was addressing.
and it's not your place to decide what's talked about on this forum. who are you to say it's wrong for Namstar to ask for some help in a community she feels comfortable in? you have no clue what other people are going through and have no right to tell them they can't ask for help. i was not attacking you in any sense, but simply saying you're wrong in the thought that 'everyone who supports her is sweet, and everyone who disgarees is a troll'. we're trying to support a friend in need.

**not trying to start an argument either, but i don't like my intentions to be misunderstood.​


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

Deak said:


> I've yet to say anything mean to her. I'm neutral in this and made a simple comment earlier in here. The deeper issues within the OP is something not suitable for discussion on an acnl forum. I'll let all the fake saints continue on, but just because someone disagrees doesn't mean they're a**holes, etc. Not everyone who disagreed in this thread was vulgar and rude. Smh.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> ...



Somehow I really don't think we are.  Especially with that "fake saints" remark. And to think I was about to message you willing to devote time to plot resetting my own town for Jacques lmao

Yeah, I'm gonna report this for closing. This is gonna get ugly really quick.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

gem83 said:


> Nah, it's more like if you support them you're understanding and sweet, if you don't that's okay too, but if you're just a straight up ******* about it you're a troll. Like Dorian said, don't kick someone when they're down. That makes you a terrible person. But apparently it's fine to tell someone who's clearly in a bad place that they're pathetic for having something that genuinely makes them happy. Interesting mindsets in this forum.



This, exactly. Even though I'm not in a great place lately, I still want to hear people's opinions, good and bad. 

There is just a difference between 
"This is pathetic and dumb"
and
"I don't think it's exactly healthy or normal, and here's why..."

I know I used the word pathetic myself a few times, but I probably should have worded my first post a bit differently.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> Yeah, I really don't want this to be a place for anyone to argue! I'm all for debating the topic and giving honest opinions but I'd rather there not be name calling and fights starting.
> 
> That being said, I'm still okay with people giving their opinion, even if it's a negative one. I did, after all, ask for any opinion. While I would prefer hearing the people who do feel it's a bit pathetic to say so more politely, I have learned that some people are just kind of more blunt without intentionally being mean. I don't think the person who was saying to remember that they're digital was trolling, just being honest. The only post that really was kind of rude was the one on the first page.
> 
> ...



*claps* I will say the first commenter is kind of an intentionally rude person though. I was reading their visitor messages. You handle it great though


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

gem83 said:


> Somehow I really don't think we are.  Especially with that "fake saints" remark. And to think I was about to message you willing to devote time to plot resetting my own town for Jacques lmao
> 
> Yeah, I'm gonna report this for closing. This is gonna get ugly really quick.



I don't think it really needs to be reported right now. If it starts to get any worse I'll close it myself. 

I'd rather we all just try and turn the thread around if possible instead.


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## Deak (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> Yeah, I really don't want this to be a place for anyone to argue! I'm all for debating the topic and giving honest opinions but I'd rather there not be name calling and fights starting.
> 
> That being said, I'm still okay with people giving their opinion, even if it's a negative one. I did, after all, ask for any opinion. While I would prefer hearing the people who do feel it's a bit pathetic to say so more politely, I have learned that some people are just kind of more blunt without intentionally being mean. I don't think the person who was saying to remember that they're digital was trolling, just being honest. The only post that really was kind of rude was the one on the first page.
> 
> ...




You're a kind soul.


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> I don't think it really needs to be reported right now. If it starts to get any worse I'll close it myself.
> 
> I'd rather we all just try and turn the thread around if possible instead.



It doesn't need to be reported. I shouldn't had said it needs to be closed. I will now distract everyone from the events of this thread *begins juggling flaming torches with Pietro the scary clown sheep*


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

AndyP08 said:


> It doesn't need to be reported. I shouldn't had said it needs to be closed. I will now distract everyone from the events of this thread *begins juggling flaming torches with Pietro the scary clown sheep*



I'm just waiting for my fishing tourney results. I think I might have won my first ever (though admittedly I've never really tried lol)


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## HopeForHyrule (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> Yeah, I really don't want this to be a place for anyone to argue! I'm all for debating the topic and giving honest opinions but I'd rather there not be name calling and fights starting.
> 
> That being said, I'm still okay with people giving their opinion, even if it's a negative one. I did, after all, ask for any opinion. While I would prefer hearing the people who do feel it's a bit pathetic to say so more politely, I have learned that some people are just kind of more blunt without intentionally being mean. I don't think the person who was saying to remember that they're digital was trolling, just being honest. The only post that really was kind of rude was the one on the first page.
> 
> ...



I'm glad you had the guts to post about this, because I know a lot of people (not necessarily on this forum) feel the same as you about this/these game(s).

Hell, my one town was made in tribute to my bunny who I lost a little over a year ago and I am insanely obsessed with completing it.

So I'm VERY pathetic because a lot of people would say, "it's just a rabbit" and look at me like I'm crazy...and then I just want to cry (and usually do) because it breaks my heart.

So in my typical self-deprecating fashion, I will just say that no matter how bad things may get, at least you aren't mourning the loss of a bunny with a video game.


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> I'm just waiting for my fishing tourney results. I think I might have won my first ever (though admittedly I've never really tried lol)



I always forget to even participate lol. I just started a new town today as well so I didn't really get to do it. Lobo won with a 6 inch fish wtf


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

gem83 said:


> I always forget to even participate lol. I just started a new town today as well so I didn't really get to do it. Lobo won with a 6 inch fish wtf



I decided to just for the heck of it. I caught this 41 inch sea bass and I was like 'nah I bet I won't win cause I only caught like, 5 fish' ... then I saw that Bob and Tangy both had like...5 inch pond smelts. I kind of won by a long shot and I feel mildly bad haha.


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## JeffreyAC (Dec 12, 2015)

Well, weird? yeah but I don't see it as "bad", some people consider their pets as friends, so what's the difference? Plus we all have, to a different degree, love-care for our villagers, but don't get too caught up, even if you're not a people's person (heck I'm not) we all need some human interaction once in a while.


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## HopeForHyrule (Dec 12, 2015)

I didn't participate in my hamster town, and Hamphrey won with a six inch fish...

But I did catch a ribbon eel in my bunny town and annihilated them; I felt kinda bad, but they were good sports about it. ^_^


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## Deak (Dec 12, 2015)

JeffreyAC said:


> Well, weird? yeah but I don't see it as "bad", some people consider their pets as friends, so what's the difference? Plus we all have, to a different degree, love-care for our villagers, but don't get too caught up, even if you're not a people's person (heck I'm not) we all need some human interaction once in a while.




Lol. That's a good example. 

Real pet. Virtual pet/villager. Almost the same thing. Didn't even think about it like that.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

Deak said:


> Lol. That's a good example.
> 
> Real pet. Virtual pet/villager. Almost the same thing. Didn't even think about it like that.



The way our villagers make us run all their errands it's almost like they own us at pets instead. "Take this package to someone standing two feet away, slave mayor"  :<


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## piske (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> The way our villagers make us run all their errands it's almost like they own us at pets instead. "Take this package to someone standing two feet away, slave mayor"  :<



Yeah, or give me fruit, I'm hungry and too lazy to walk to the tree 2 ft away from me!!!


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

P e o n y said:


> Yeah, or give me fruit, I'm hungry and too lazy to walk to the tree 2 ft away from me!!!



"I had a bad experience with bees and now I'm afraid to shake trees"
*sees them shaking trees a day later*


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## piske (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> "I had a bad experience with bees and now I'm afraid to shake trees"
> *sees them shaking trees a day later*



Let me guess, a lazy? They seem to have a millisecond short-term memory! xD


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## Blueskyy (Dec 12, 2015)

I like when I'm standing right in front of Beau's house and he invites me over, and then says I can lead the way because he doesn't know how to get there.  I take one step and I'm in front of the door XD


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

Namstar said:


> The way our villagers make us run all their errands it's almost like they own us at pets instead. "Take this package to someone standing two feet away, slave mayor"  :<



Punchy invited me to his house and claimed he didnt know the way back......we were standing in fromt of his door...........


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## HopeForHyrule (Dec 12, 2015)

I love when I walk into Cole or Stitches' house, stand RIGHT in front of them and they're all, "Ahhh! You scared me! You're really stealthy, like a ninja." Cracks me up...XD


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

AndyP08 said:


> I like when I'm standing right in front of Beau's house and he invites me over, and then says I can lead the way because he doesn't know how to get there.  I take one step and I'm in front of the door XD



EXACTLY I JUST SAID THIS LMAO


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## 2munchkin2 (Dec 12, 2015)

Mariah said:


> I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?



oh get a life troll


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## gem83 (Dec 12, 2015)

After all my rotten luck with my 2nd town recently, I had some good luck! I was plot resetting to get fuschia as my 6th villager in my new town of Sodapop and it only took a few tries! I was surprised considering I was going through three personalities and therefore 60 - 70+ other villagers couldve popped up ._.


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## Spooky. (Dec 12, 2015)

P e o n y said:


> Let me guess, a lazy? They seem to have a millisecond short-term memory! xD



...It was Bob. It's always Bob.

- - - Post Merge - - -



gem83 said:


> Punchy invited me to his house and claimed he didnt know the way back......we were standing in fromt of his door...........



Punchy does the weirdest stuff ever to me, yet he's so relatable because he's always talking about food. 
Punchy is my spirit animal

- - - Post Merge - - -



gem83 said:


> After all my rotten luck with my 2nd town recently, I had some good luck! I was plot resetting to get fuschia as my 6th villager in my new town of Sodapop and it only took a few tries! I was surprised considering I was going through three personalities and therefore 60 - 70+ other villagers couldve popped up ._.



Nice! Fuschia is pretty awesome, even though she totally clashes with my town she's in. She has the best music ever in her house though. Rock star deer ftw


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## scartwright (Dec 13, 2015)

Though I think this is mostly resolved now, I'd like to say my piece. 

We live in a world where people can legally marry their pets, in fact I literally just read about a woman who had a relationship with a _tree_. So if you're worried that you're weird, don't be.

Though AC isn't my mental sanctuary, I do have characters and stories that, if I didn't think about at least once a day, I would never get to sleep or manage to get through my day. I was once in a relationship with a man who made my self-esteem as low as it could possibly go, I got so depressed that I could barely summon the strength to go to the bathroom, never mind eating. I was like this for 2 long years and in that time my 'characters' were the only thing I had. It took a long time to get to where I am now (having a lovely new man who gave me a beautiful baby girl helped!) though I'll never be in great mental shape.

I guess I went a little off-topic there, sorry. My point is, you should seek happiness where you can. It sounds like you have a nice job working with children, so you're obviously a nice approachable person. Take a good look at yourself and appreciate your good qualities. Children come to you for advice about things they love, isn't that amazing!?

As for human interaction, you have so many supportive people on here. It's just a case of building it up to a real-life relationship as well as an online one. We're all AC fans, so no problem finding someone with similar interests! Find someone who lives reasonably close to you and start Skyping. Get used to each others voice and physical appearance and, given a little time, you'll wind up great pals IRL too!


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## Dorian (Dec 13, 2015)

Feeling the love, Namstar? Cause I am, and it's beautiful! What an amazing bunch of people you are. I am proud to call you my friends and I am thankful that I live in a world with each and every one of you


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## fenris (Dec 13, 2015)

Okay.  I've been looking at this and carefully measuring how I want to respond since the post first popped up, and I think I've got it.  Apologies in advance for any rambling or incoherency.

I suffer from both anxiety and depression.  The latter comes and goes, but the former is pretty much a constant.  New Leaf is basically an interactive comfort item for me.  It's soothing in the same way a blanket and a cup of hot tea are soothing.  It gives me a space (albeit a virtual one) in which I have control over things, and there's no real consequence for screwing up (aside from time travel accidents, but I am _so_ careful about that - or somebody plotting in a bad spot, which I am less concerned about).  It's something simple and safe.

I'm also a closeted, queer trans man living in Mississippi.  Being out offline would be dangerous for me at this point in my life... so playing as a guy in video games is the closest I can get aside from when I'm hanging out privately with my fianc? and/or the few friends I'm out to.   Not only that, but I can have my mayor wear "feminine" clothing or dye his hair pink and still be treated like a dude.  That's a big deal to me.  I like "girly" stuff, and the thought of having to completely give it up in order to pass _sucks._ In New Leaf, I don't have to worry about giving it up.  Whether I'm wearing a leather jacket and jeans or a frilly dress and a hair ribbon, Kapp'n is still going to tell me I should become a wrestler.

I do have friends both on and offline (though I only get to hang out with my meatspace friends once or twice a month at most), and I have a pretty great relationship with my mom and my little brother, but Animal Crossing is still important to me in a lot of ways...  and even though I know my villagers aren't real, they're still my little buddies!  I get all sorts of warm, fuzzy feelings for them.  I get attached to them, just like I do to characters in other games.  When one of them says or does something particularly cute/funny/ridiculous, I send pictures to my friends.  I am invested in Matcha and its denizens, and I don't think there's a single thing wrong with that.

As long as it's not taking over your life, use whatever coping mechanisms you need to.


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## Spooky. (Dec 13, 2015)

fenris said:


> Okay.  I've been looking at this and carefully measuring how I want to respond since the post first popped up, and I think I've got it.  Apologies in advance for any rambling or incoherency.
> 
> I suffer from both anxiety and depression.  The latter comes and goes, but the former is pretty much a constant.  New Leaf is basically an interactive comfort item for me.  It's soothing in the same way a blanket and a cup of hot tea are soothing.  It gives me a space (albeit a virtual one) in which I have control over things, and there's no real consequence for screwing up (aside from time travel accidents, but I am _so_ careful about that - or somebody plotting in a bad spot, which I am less concerned about).  It's something simple and safe.
> 
> ...



Honestly one of the best things about this game is that they allow you to wear any clothing at all, so no matter what you identify as you feel included. That's so important. There are so few games that allow that as well and I hope it starts becoming the norm eventually. I can't say that I totally understand the challenges your going though, as I'm not trans myself, but I know that it's so important to have these kind of things that make you feel like you're fine just the way you are. Safe spaces are so freaking important. 

I'm glad you get a comfort out of the game as well. I bet the people who created this game would be really happy to know how much we benefit from a game like this.


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## Dorian (Dec 13, 2015)

Fenris, I love you!


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## SensaiGallade (Dec 13, 2015)

Never let others contradict and tell you how to live your life. You believe what you want to believe and don't have anyone else control you. it's what makes you happy that counts rather than putting up with hostility and anger. Be who you want to be; live your life to the fullest. Believe in yourself and never listen to the hate of others. I know I believe in you.


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## Dorian (Dec 13, 2015)

This thread makes me happy to be alive


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## HopeForHyrule (Dec 13, 2015)

This thread is becoming a sort of safe haven for those of us who use the game to cope and feel accepted.

I mean, I don't know any of you and most likely never will, but you guys are so awesome!


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## Charcolor (Dec 13, 2015)

I'm fourteen years old and I'm a very lonely person.
I've made many friends in my life. I'm pretty okay at making conversation. But those friends never stay. They drift away and find better people to talk to, people who are smarter, people who are better at socializing, people that actually share their interests, people who don't have my mental illnesses that keep me from being truly happy. (besides depression and anxiety, I also have OCD and I am on the Asperger's spectrum)
There are only three people in the world who I trust with pretty much everything, only one of whom I get to see and talk to regularly, and one of whom I can never talk to again, because she may be dead. But even that has limits. I can never tell the two other friends how I really feel, how much I want to die every day because my first girlfriend might be dead and I can only blaame myself and my bad luck.
Unfortunately, I'm not as lucky as you are to be able to rely on my villagers. I can't get as attached to them as you. I love Sylvia, Olivia and my bear cubs, but it's not enough. They are not real enough. The gifts they give me are usually stuff that I either don't want or already have. While the game itself does help with my anxiety, the villagers cannot take the place of real friends. You are so lucky. I don't want to try to invalidate you, because your struggles are very real, but in this case, you are so lucky. I wish I was like you. I wish I could have something, even if the something is video game animals with repetitive dialogue, to help with my loneliness.
We all have different ways to cope with our sadness. This game is your way of coping. I don't think it's mine, but I really wish it was. Besides, the villagers are good placeholders as you try to make friends in real life. I hope you don't need to rely on these villagers forever, because what if you end up like the way I am now and the villagers are just not enough? I don't want you to feel the same way I do.
But just take your time. There is nothing wrong with your feelings.


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## mayortash (Dec 13, 2015)

I remember reading a really long time ago that Animal Crossing was devised by someone at Nintendo who kept having to go on business trips and he was lonely. So he created a world of animal friends. 
You are absolutely not pathetic for feeling the way you do. My husband gets confused when I start talking excitedly about a new villager. He gets confused because it means someone I've been talking about for months or even a year or two is no longer in my life. 
I have real life friends. But I much prefer the non-drama I get from my pixel friends


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## Spooky. (Dec 13, 2015)

I'm really happy that this thread has become a place for everyone to share their experiences and how they relate to the game and how it helps them. I never expected so many people to open up and tell their stories, but I'm glad it's become a place for that. I love hearing all of your stories. None of us are alone here.


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## daynapapaya (Dec 13, 2015)

Many games like Animal Crossing have features that are unintentionally theraputic. The pokemon series is similar, with you going on an adventure with the pokemon you catch, traveling at your own pace, and even being able to bond with your pokemon in the newer games through the pokemon amie. I've always been helplessly addicted to tamagotchis, too; I loved that I could take care of them in real time and they could grow into different adolescents and adults depending on how you cared for them...and you could feed them, play with them...if you had more than one, they could play together or have babies...sometimes I curse Japan for coming up with the most addicting games.


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## Spooky. (Dec 13, 2015)

daynapapaya said:


> Many games like Animal Crossing have features that are unintentionally theraputic. The pokemon series is similar, with you going on an adventure with the pokemon you catch, traveling at your own pace, and even being able to bond with your pokemon in the newer games through the pokemon amie. I've always been helplessly addicted to tamagotchis, too; I loved that I could take care of them in real time and they could grow into different adolescents and adults depending on how you cared for them...and you could feed them, play with them...if you had more than one, they could play together or have babies...sometimes I curse Japan for coming up with the most addicting games.



I looooooooove Pokemon amie. I used to squeal like a 5 year old whenever my favorite Pokemon did cute stuff or made cute noises. Sometimes I spent more time playing the little games and petting Sylveon than I spent actually playing the game itself lol.


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## glow (Dec 13, 2015)

Tbh I'm so glad I went to the last page of this thread to find actually meaningful responses, because the first page really annoyed me. 

So tired of people making pointlessly negative comments on threads, I.E. Mariah saying it's pathetic but not actually giving any reason why. It's not that I care that she disagrees, it's that it brings nothing to the discussion. Had she actually said anything of value, I wouldn't mind. That comment is pathetic IMHO, not turning to a video game for comfort/ for friends.

I think its really great that you find happiness from ACNL. Anything that takes away your sadness isn't pathetic, as long as it's not toxic or unhealthy. I'm the same way, although my lack of a social life is my own fault I find a lot of peace from AC & have also met a lot of chill people. It just shows that you still want to be social but you don't have the right people in your life yet. Key word yet, pls don't give up on that!
I hope you find people that deserve you in their life <3


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## fenris (Dec 13, 2015)

Namstar said:


> I looooooooove Pokemon amie. I used to squeal like a 5 year old whenever my favorite Pokemon did cute stuff or made cute noises. Sometimes I spent more time playing the little games and petting Sylveon than I spent actually playing the game itself lol.



Same!  There are a few Pokemon (Skitty and Pidove, for example) that I caught just to play with them in Pokemon-Amie.


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## HopeForHyrule (Dec 13, 2015)

I absolutely love Pok?mon Amie! My Pikachu makes the cutest happy noises. As does my Delphox. ^_^


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## chiisaisuzume (Dec 13, 2015)

It's... actually got me to make an account, so thank you for that.  I've been lurking awhile, now--dreadfully shy.  ^_^;


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## Blueskyy (Dec 13, 2015)

I'm going to have Maple, Molly, and Flurry save some of the sugar cookies they're making for Toy Day so that we all can celebrate this forum! *Throws confetti in the air*


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## Bon Bonne (Dec 13, 2015)

as long as you remember that there's more to life than the villagers in Animal Crossing, I see nothing wrong with you having such a close connection to them. I don't really think it's anything to be concerned about, unless you were abandoning other things for a video game. but you aren't doing that, so I think you're good.
but it makes me really sad to see you saying so many negative things about yourself. I hardly know you, but I see you being active every time I roll around. you seem like a good person to me. I hope you can find some pals through here maybe. someone else to talk to aside from virtual animals, at least!
there are people here, I'll even say including me, that you can totally talk to. do not be shy! I know I'm closer to your age and possibly share interests. and I understand how you feel, aside from the intensely close connection to villagers.(I have mental illnesses, etc)

but I can say that I'm super attached to Tammy, and I just started the game up a bit ago and she's moving into my new town ALREADY(what luck! out of any uchi, it was Tammy), and I am sooooooooooo happy about it... ;v; she's the best.


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## CuriousCharli (Dec 13, 2015)

Its not pathetic that you see fictional or game characters as friends. I've seen TOP Youtubers cry over a character's death in a game because they're so deep into it. What's the difference? We submerge into a game that understands, that heals out wounds and because its fun. Animal crossing is deep, always has been. I've heard stories it can help with depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety. It's a sweet game.


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## HungryForCereal (Dec 14, 2015)

i get where you're coming from. sometimes, i feel like i just wanna jump into the game and have a real relationship with my villagers instead of the humans i have around me.


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## Shawna (Dec 14, 2015)

You know, I'm actually realizing a lot just by reading through this thread.

A lot of (not necessarily all) people seem to forget the importantence of peace and how we should act as a family, as we all live on the planet called Earth.  As sad and depressing as this is, it is hard for most people to give other people a chance who really needs a friend.  If there is one thing I could bring to this world, it would be true peace!  
I think our main purpose here on this planet is to make friends with as many people as possible.  It can be tough because, nowadays, people have a hard time cooperating and being there unconditionally.

I think a good lesson Animal Crossing teaches us is that we should always be there for the people who matter most, no matter what.  Villagers go out of their way for us, they give us medicine if we get a bee sting, they take the time to give us something they think we'd like, they invite us over to chat with us a little more, they worry when we work too hard.  Even when we might be in a bad mood, they still do these things for us.  Why?  Because they care about us unconditionally.  And I think the message behind this is that real life should be the same, but it rarely like that in the real world anymore.  

If people started to give one another a chance, we wouldn't have to deal with everyday-but-serious problems like bullying, depression, suicide, crime, etc. (at least not as often).

I really love the meaning behind this topic.  It's really gotten me to think about a lot.  I am very thankful that this is a very understanding, friendly, loving community. ♥


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## innerutopia (Dec 14, 2015)

I mean, think about it. Why else would we be playing this game if we didn't connect with our villagers in some way?
I don't think that a bunch of pixels and sounds can replace the company of a real living creature, by any means. And I think if it got to the point of dependence or addiction, it would be unhealthy. But if it's just reassurance and friendship you need, there are definitely people who want to meet and talk to you. All of us, for example.
So, no, don't feel bad about your attachment to your villagers. Just know yourself and your limits, and try to make sure your playing habits don't become addictive.
Meanwhile, if you ever want to chat, I'm available.


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## pinkpanther8 (Dec 15, 2015)

nope. not pathetic at all. it's like having an imaginary friend but it actually responds back


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## Allie_Rose (Dec 16, 2015)

Dorian said:


> This thread makes me happy to be alive



I really couldn't agree more. There has been mild negativity but the positivity on this thread is so wonderful. It's inspiring hearing all these people opening up to the forum, and being supported for it. Yay for nice, supportive people!


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## Spooky. (Dec 18, 2015)

I'm reading the responses that I didn't see since the last time I checked up on this thread and I'm still really emotionally overwhelmed by how incredible you guys all are. I've even made a pretty good friend now thanks to this thread.

It makes me happy to see how many of you feel the same about your villagers like I do. It's really great to feel less alone.


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## Shawna (Dec 18, 2015)

It's okay to have a connection with your villagers.  I sure do, and when I find other people who do, I don't feel so weird about it. 

Like a lot of people said, it's kinda like having a stuffed animal, etc.
If people have the right to love animals more than their own kind--people (which can make sense if you think about it), then you have the right to have a connect with the villagers.

Because sometimes they seem nicer than some people.


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## Munna (Dec 20, 2015)

Sanxithe said:


> Hey.. just wanted to give you some encouragement..
> 
> I have depression and because of it I haven't been going to school since May. And I've stopped talking to my friends completely as they have forgotten my existence. I think it's perfectly fine to confide in animal crossing for care and comfort. The game actually is helping me a lot. If not for it forcing me to get up and find fossils and do deeds for my villagers, I wouldn't even care what time of the day it is. I wouldn't get out of bed. I don't dare to even try and contact my real life friends but at least I can do it with computers... I don't know.. It just helps me get into a "daily life" kinda routine... even if it's virtual it benefits me a lot
> 
> ...



This is beautiful, thanks for sharing! 

OP, I was thinking that there is nothing pathetic about having a completely logical reaction to a lonely situation. What you are doing makes sense. You have a gameplan:

1) Keep trying to make friends & put yourself out there.

2) Play a happy game like ACNL, make the friends you can make in the game while you wait for the "real" ones.

3) Keep yourself as happy & sane in an extremely lonely & depressing situation as possible.

4) Tangy keeps me sane.  
I have friends, but I still consider my villagers friends. I feel that people give the characters a sort of energy & they become real in our hearts & minds.

This is actually a pretty normal coping mechanism, and it's a show of resilience & intelligence that you have been resourceful enough to find connections where ever you can. 

- - - Post Merge - - -



Dorian said:


> One of the things I really love about these forums is the fact that we are all varying ages and therefore, have different levels of life experience. Sweetie-pie, I know enough about you from your posts to know you struggle with the 'real world' if that is what we are calling it. How real that world actually is is pretty subjective at this point if you ask me. Listen, as long as you can function successfully enough out there to hold a job and be able to take care of yourself (because you must continue to take care of yourself so you can eat and have a place to live), whatever you want to believe about your AC game is up to you. Do I find you pathetic? Of course not. You are a sensitive, beautiful and very thoughtful human being. I empathize with your struggle and as an empath, I, more than most, feel your pain as my own. We all have things we rely on in this life to take away the pain when things outside our doors get too hard or too real. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with relying on these cute little pixels to get you through this obviously painful and difficult time in your life. Many friends here made a point to let you know that they are here for you. So my advice would be this: strike a balance. Spend time with your AC friends in the game and then spend time with your AC friends on the forums. As many have said, there are all sorts of wonderful people here. But the best and most honest advice I can give you is this: stop thinking, talking and advertising the fact that you consider yourself or worry that others consider you as pathetic. You must retrain your brain to stop using labels that are so self-destructive. They will not serve you. They will ensnare you and assure a lifetime of misery. Look at these four pages of friends who gave their time and energy to read your words and reply. I must give a shout out to Andy particularly for his replies. Way to go, bro. Namstar, I know how much you struggle and I understand. I wish I could provide some magic words, but there aren't any. There is just time and experience. Life ebbs and flows and you are simply stagnating right now. But rain will come one day, open up the little puddle that keeps you trapped and you will rejoin the river. Just remember that your job is to keep paddling. I send you all my love, sweetie.



BEAUTIFUL!!! 

That is so kind. I was pretending you were also saying that to me, because I can relate to Namstar so much here, and this thread is very comforting.
I value you & them for having the guts to say it first. Amazing.

I better head off...it's 3am!


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## Cosmic Moonlight (Dec 20, 2015)

Mariah said:


> *I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever*, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?



Well... Doesn't that kinda mean you should try and be a little nicer? I mean if you want to have friends, then saying mean stuff like that is not going to get you anywhere :C

Anyway, as to the question... I think it is perfectly acceptable and is not pathetic at all. I think the game was made for people going through tough times and for the villagers to comfort you. They most certainly have helped me, even if they are just NPC's that have been programmed into saying various things based on their personality. But I don't care, I still view each villager as a unique little person. I love my villagers a lot <3


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## Kapriznyy (Dec 20, 2015)

(You catch more flies with honey, etc etc!)

I think most of us use this game as an escape or coping mechanism of sorts, even if we don't realize it and it's not very extreme. If you've had a bad day and look forward to playing New Leaf, for example, then your town is obviously important to you, because it relieves your stress and allows you to focus on something positive. You may not rely on the game for the same kind of support that many people in this thread do, but it still does something to boost your spirits, and that makes it invaluable.

There will always be judgmental people, and their words will always sting, but at the end of the day, if what you're doing makes you happy and is a positive influence in your life at this time, and it doesn't hurt anyone... hold onto that, because that's a wonderful thing.


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## chiisaisuzume (Dec 20, 2015)

Shawna said:


> You know, I'm actually realizing a lot just by reading through this thread.
> 
> A lot of (not necessarily all) people seem to forget the importantence of peace and how we should act as a family, as we all live on the planet called Earth.  As sad and depressing as this is, it is hard for most people to give other people a chance who really needs a friend.  If there is one thing I could bring to this world, it would be true peace!
> I think our main purpose here on this planet is to make friends with as many people as possible.  It can be tough because, nowadays, people have a hard time cooperating and being there unconditionally.
> ...



I've always thought that part of why _Animal Crossing_ is the way it is, is to perhaps teach people those values that they mightn't have gotten from others, or--sadly--haven't experienced.  Sometimes it comes off a little silly (villager asking for a fruit when the tree is two steps away), but it's still giving you the choice to make, and you're rewarded in some fashion for choosing well, even if it's only a hearty "thank you".  ^_^


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## shannenenen (Dec 20, 2015)

Animal Crossing does several things for me. It's a kind of coping mechanism for me, yes, because I'm able to escape the real world and live in a town where I have friends. The animals in my town are definitely considered my friends. I love all of them, even the ones that I'm trying to get out, because they love me unconditionally. In addition, the responsibilities I have as mayor are actually fun. My secretary appreciates me, and Isabelle's one of my closest friends. That's more than I can say for most people I know.

I love having friends in the game, it gives me a chance to have someone to talk to even when I'm completely alone- and that happens a lot. They all care about me and really appreciate me, which is something I can't say about people I know in real life. I can write them letters, and they may not know the best way to respond, but they still care. Even with depression and anxiety, they can still care about me and I love that.


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## Nayab (Dec 20, 2015)

Animal Crossing is something of a stress reliever for me, and I have an attachment to my villagers but to me their more like "virtual pets" than "friends". A little in the same vein as Pok?mon, and in Pok?mon's case I'm even more attached because I've had some of my little pocket monsters for about a decade irl. On one level, I know they're just data, but my original Blaziken from Sapphire version is older than my friendship with most of my real world friends and older than my actual pet cat xD It's hard not to have some form of attachment to virtual pets who have been with you for such a long time.


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## nintendoanna (Dec 20, 2015)

LMAO I THOUGHT THIS WAS A JOKE tbh i think that's kinda creepy but that's just me like I see villagers more as "pets" rather than friends especially real friends


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## thrillingprince (Dec 20, 2015)

i treat them like real friends


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## Buttonsy (Dec 21, 2015)

I'm in a very similar situation as you. Due to disability-related reasons, I've got fairly poor social skills and don't have many opportunities to use said poor social skills, and so I have a very, very restricted friend circle, and I'm very used to being ignored by people or treated wrongly. So having a village full of friendly, cute people who have interesting things to say, treat me well, and are around to talk almost 24 hours a day, really warms my heart and cheers me up, and it seems like the more energy I focus into Animal Crossing, the better my mental health and mood issues get. I still want to try to make friends with human beings, but my villagers really help me cope with the loneliness that comes from not being very good at that.

I don't think it's pathetic at all. I think it's great to find a way to feel better about these sorts of things, and to make friends, even from a video game. And I also really want to thank you for making this post, it kinda makes me happy that I'm not the only one who does this!!


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## Shawna (Jan 17, 2016)

thrillingprince said:


> i treat them like real friends


Me too. lol


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## watercolorwish (Jan 17, 2016)

I think its okay but wouldn't you be a little devastated if your best friend left? Maybe try befriending people within the ACNL community so you can make strong connections on certain villagers and such. We all have favorite/best friend villagers!


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## Romaki (Jan 17, 2016)

No, everyone experiences games differently. It's nice that you have such a strong bond with those characters.
And people who want to talk others down aren't really people whose opinion should matter to you.


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## Aali (Jan 17, 2016)

I don't think it's weird at all. Every time Moe says he's thinking of moving I feel sad and ask him not to go. If Moe ever left my town I'd be so upset. And I just got Chrissy last night and if she leaves I'll be sad because she's fun to talk to.


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## lifequards (Jan 18, 2016)

I'm 15 and graduating high school with zero friends and lots of stress. So I consider my town to be my actual life.


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## irlgarbodor (Feb 1, 2016)

Namstar said:


> I've been debating for a while now if I should make this thread or not, as the topic is kind of embarrassing. However, I don't know a better place than to ask and discuss this than here.
> Just please don't laugh because I'm really in a bad place right now. Anyway...
> 
> Here's a kind of long-ish read about it in detail. I stuck a tl;dr version underneath, though I think reading this (if it's not too much trouble) might help to understand where I'm coming from.
> ...



Hi! I sent you a PM in response to this post...!


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## AppleBitterCrumble (Feb 1, 2016)

It's not pathetic lol! I love my villagers and how they are so "real life" like to me (giving gifts, inviting me over, giving compliments, being so darn cute)


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## umeplum (Feb 1, 2016)

I don't think it's pathetic! Animal crossing is like an escape from reality. I know my villagers have been there to cheer me up when I felt down too.


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## tae (Feb 1, 2016)

i think it should be a little alarming, but there's nothing wrong with acnl being an escape..
there should be a legitimate line between make-believe and reality. i don't think it's a good thing to equate a video game to real life, actual solid friendships. if that makes sense. it's a little delusional and honestly it worries me a bit.

is it pathetic? no. but it isn't healthy and i find it to be alarming.


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## LinkToTheWorld (Feb 3, 2016)

I don't think it's pathetic. I think maybe it's not healthy to rely so heavily on a video game though. 
I love ACNL, I play it everyday, love my villagers and don't have many real life friends either. Would also be gutted if anything happened to my game or my town, but not to the extent as you would probably be :-(
I don't know what to say to help but you are most definitely not pathetic for feeling this way.


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## 2coolgamer (Feb 3, 2016)

I don't find it strange at all. Have you ever heard of the TV show Glee? Well,I have always wanted to be a famous singer so whenever I watch Glee I sing along to my favorite songs,realize others have issues too,and just feel like there is hope for everyone if Kurt and Santana could find someone so special for them after I had a terrible break up last year that had me in tears everyday for 3 months. I used to look at my calendar and count how may days it had been sense I had been loved. I was comforted by Glee though,and 3 months later I found who I was  meant to be with and sure,I'm am like Kurt and know that it will take a while to get that person,but I still have amazing hope by the hints they drop and the way they kindly treat us!
No,it's not weird at all. The only people who would find it strange would be the people who do similar things but don't want to admit it. Though,I still do think real friends are a good thing. I didn't have one friend for 3 years so don't worry,it takes time,you'll find someone or something,but until then Animal Crossing is your Glee!


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## Dae Min (Feb 3, 2016)

It's not pathetic to feel like that. The game's dialogue is created with reality in mind. The writers knew what makes people tick, and wanted the player to feel as happy and doted on as possible. To an extent, everyone who loves Animal Crossing has felt sentimental toward these cute AIs at least once.


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## Shawna (Feb 21, 2016)

Revive.

Just thought I'd share this: http://www.animalcrossingcommunity....expected_friendship_the_un_dreamie_surprises_

This has some stories about other Animal Crossing players and their stories with villagers.  I posted some too (username is Shawnaisus). 
I think sharing this will be great for the thread.  Hopefully, you can go on here without making an account (it's on Animal Crossing Community).


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## Nightmares (Feb 21, 2016)

Dude, I used to love my old villagers so much
After my all time favourite, Goldie, left totally didn't cry btw I lost interest in the game, and took a hiatus. When I got back, all my best villagers except 1 had gone.... Sounds weird but I felt really bad that I never got to say goodbye lmao

I still have one that's been there right from the start, Clyde. I love him so much BUT HE KEEPS ASKING TO MOVE WTF CLYDE xD

So I get what you're saying ^-^;

I've also struggled making friends that past couple years, and I've made some great ones of this forum, but I feel I always mess things up between us. At least with villagers you can't say anything bad to them aha


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## Hypno KK (Feb 21, 2016)

Feeling like fictional characters are meaningful to you is not that weird. People get really invested in fictional characters all the time, I don't know why it's suddenly weird if they're from a videogame and not from a book or show. You're even participating in their world in a way. Personally, I don't feel that connected to my villagers. 

It's not bad that ACNL is comforting to you. It's a very relaxing and positive game so I can see why it would cheer you up when you're feeling down. To me, that's no different from having a movie or show that you watch when you want to distract yourself from your problems.

It can be a problem if you're becoming too dependent on a game and can't cope without it. My advice is to use it to cheer up while you work out your real life and find other things you like. I don't know what factors make it hard for you to make friends but I hope you find some eventually. You say that you have a history of mental illness. If you can, see a therapist or find some help so you can have someone to help you work things out without depending on a game. You can keep playing it without depending on it.

I'm not always on here but if you want to talk you can PM me. Hopefully your life will improve soon.


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