# Marriage



## Nuclear Bingo (Nov 3, 2015)

I've been thinking about the regard in which people hold marriage. When I was young I thought marriage was a goal of sorts. But now I realize it's not really all that black and white for me and even other people. Just curious to see what you guys think as well.


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## Mariah (Nov 3, 2015)

Marriage is pointless.


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## kayleee (Nov 3, 2015)

Marriage isn't the ultimate goal being married to someone you love and respect and who loves and respects you is the ultimate goal

So the goal is essentially finding that person

And I've already met this goal yay


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## Mink (Nov 3, 2015)

I don't think marriage is something that's "needed" with your partner, as long as you love them/they love you I think marriage isn't necessary, it sounds like it causes more problems in my view- tbh my parents have been married and divorced long ago but my mom and her bf have been happily loving each other for over 7 years without any pointless drama that have broken them up or marriage c:


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## radical6 (Nov 3, 2015)

I don't need it, but I would like it.
I always fall in love with people who's religious views are drastically different from mine though... I really hope that doesn't continue in the future, because I cannot see myself marrying in a Mormon church... no way. 

I would like it anyway, but I am not religious and the idea of marrying in a church scares me. I will not convert for anyone, no matter how much I love them. Not for them only. 

I guess my partner's religion will always be the biggest hassle for me, because unless they're like Buddhist or something more relaxed they typically want to be married in whatever their religion's place of worship is at... I know for Mormons especially they want to get married in their church, and both members would have to be Mormon in that case... It just makes me upset thinking about it. yeah I know some people ignore religion, but for some people I've dated it's a very big deal to them.


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## Hatori (Nov 3, 2015)

Not a goal, but not against it either


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## Saylor (Nov 3, 2015)

I've always really liked the idea of getting married someday but the more important thing to me is just being with someone who I love and am happy with, whether or not we end up getting married.


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## Ichigo. (Nov 3, 2015)

i don't want to say it's my ultimate goal, but i don't want to say "it's a goal but i'm okay with being single" because that would be really lonely and i don't think i'd be okay with that. but if you mean single in terms of having a partner but just not being married, that's okay too i guess, but the idea of marriage sounds nice. idk though i really do not have the mindset of settling down any time soon so


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## ShinyYoshi (Nov 4, 2015)

I honestly feel like someone who isn't right for marriage. I'm unsure I'll ever be married because it just doesn't seem like something I'd actually do... I'm not against it, maybe someone will come along and change my mind. But as of now... I dislike the thought of it.


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## Acruoxil (Nov 4, 2015)

kayleee said:


> Marriage isn't the ultimate goal being married to someone you love and respect and who loves and respects you is the ultimate goal
> 
> So the goal is essentially finding that person



This.

Already met my person but I'm not together with them or whatever


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## KaydeeKrunk (Nov 4, 2015)

I definitely want to get married to my boyfriend, I feel like I would be able to spend the rest of my life with him. The goal wasn't to find someone to marry ultimately, but since I know now that I want to marry him I'm set on it I guess.


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## crystalchild (Nov 4, 2015)

i would like to get married, but it's not really important to me. just kind of this thing that would be nice, but in no way necessary.


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## piichinu (Nov 4, 2015)

I don't like marriage


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## Albuns (Nov 4, 2015)

Actual marriage doesn't feel right to me. Back then, it seemed like a rite of passage. Now, it just seems like a cheap way to earn some temporary happiness. That's not to say that all people marry carelessly though.


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## Aestivate (Nov 4, 2015)

Personally, I don't see the need to marry someone regardless of how much you might love the other person. I think it's kind of sad if you need a marriage to show other people that you love each other or/and if you need it to have a feeling that your love for the other person is certain by spending huge amount of money on it. To everybody its own but I definitely do not agree with the statement some people have that marriage is the ultimate commitment of loving.


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## Rasha (Nov 4, 2015)

yes! It's my ultimate goal
I would really love to get married and have kids someday, sadly none of the guys I met was the one for me..


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## mogyay (Nov 4, 2015)

not needed imo, esp as someone whose parents have been together 25+ years without getting married. you can be with someone you love and respect and not be married but that's just my opinion and ppl can celebrate their love how they want


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## DarkDesertFox (Nov 4, 2015)

Getting married is definitely a goal in my life. However, I have yet to meet that special someone. The person I thought was that special someone disappeared from my life. Marriage is years away for me anyways.


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## Fearthecuteness (Nov 4, 2015)

I personally don't like the idea of being owned by someone. Also I don't need a peice of paper to prove that I love someone either. I've seen/heard about so many marriages falling apart so it's just so much money down the drain too. I also think it's ridiculous the amount of money people spend on that one day when you don't even know if that relationship is going to last forever or not.

As you can tell, I never want to get married. xD


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## visibleghost (Nov 4, 2015)

I don't think I'll ever want to get married... I'm aromantic and asexual so uh I don't...??? really???? yeah..,


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## King Dorado (Nov 4, 2015)

ha- i bet mostly the married people if being honest would choose "I do not like the idea of being married..."


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## Solus (Nov 4, 2015)

If a marriage is viewed as owning someone else, you're doing it wrong...

I see a marriage as something that willingly, and unexpectedly happens just like a relationship. It's not something I try to make or achieve. It will just happen. 

I would love to be married one day. I see it as a celebrating for finding the right person almost like bragging rights or honoring the relationship. 

I don't hate marriages. I hate finding the right person because it can be pretty hard. ;-; I know this because I recently broke up with someone, who I was dating for 3 years.


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## matt (Nov 4, 2015)

I'm not spending money on marriage no way
Once your married your locked in then to get out you have to pay loads of money


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## Twisterheart (Nov 4, 2015)

I'm not against marriage, but I don't think it is for me. I'm not really interested in anyone, so I just can't see myself falling in love with someone that I'd want to be with for the rest of my life. I just don't think I could handle that sort of thing, especially since I really value my alone time. I would have to find someone who doesn't mind not spending every single day together and who can let me be alone when I want, otherwise I just couldn't do it. But I guess if I found someone I really loved, I would do it. it all just depends.


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## Celestefey (Nov 4, 2015)

I think being married is not really a necessary thing for me. If I'm able to find someone that I love and want to spend my life with, then that's great, but I don't need a ring or a piece of paper to basically tell everyone that. I mean, I know that's not really what everyone thinks, but that's the way I see marriage. Marriage won't hold me together with them forever, especially since divorces are becoming much more common nowadays. And hey, if you decide to get married because that makes you happy, then good for you, I have to admit going to weddings is a lot of fun, but I just personally don't feel like it's worth it for me. 

And even then, it doesn't bother me too much if I don't find a partner in life. I don't need another person in order to feel like my life is complete. If I do find someone who I love then that's good, but my life should still be great even when I am single.


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## nerdatheart9490 (Nov 4, 2015)

My parents never married. They were together for 16 years without getting married. My mom didn't marry anyone until she was 42 years old. And she regrets it. She prefers the freedom that not being married allows, even though she's always in long term committed relationships (4 years with one, 16 years with another, and so far 5 years with my step dad). It kind of showed me that marriage isn't as big a deal as people make it out to be. It's not something you MUST do to prove you love someone.


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## crystalmilktea (Nov 4, 2015)

I voted for "ultimate goal", but really it's just that I want to get married because that would mean I'm with the person I love and will spend the rest of my life with vice versa and etc.etc.etc.
Also it's a day where I can dress up and feel like a princess and have everyone I love in the same room with yummy food and stuff


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## Earth Wolf-Howl (Nov 4, 2015)

It's not really a goal for me, I don't think. Personally, my main priority in life is achieving my dreams before _maybe_ finding someone if I want to. Heck, even if I did somehow miraculously find a partner, would I really want to go through with it? I have no religious obligations that mean I would necessarily have to have that whole ceremony, so I'm under the opinion that, unless said partner _did_ have those obligations, it'd be better to save time and money and just remain partners.

I'm not against the concept or ceremony itself, though. I mean, I do get that for different religions, it's a near-essential rite. I also respect those who like the ceremony and wish to partake in it themselves. Long story short, though, it's not for me.


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## cIementine (Nov 4, 2015)

i do want to get married but i'm not too bothered. 
i'd rather complete school and start a career for myself beforehand.


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## GalacticGhost (Nov 4, 2015)

Marriage isn't a goal for me. In fact, I wouldn't even say that finding someone to be in a romantic relationship with important to me.

I mean, life isn't just about growing up, getting married and having kids. There's so much other stuff you can focus on doing.

I'm not against marriage, but I'm asexual, aromantic and an atheist, so I'd probably never do it.


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## ams (Nov 4, 2015)

Definitely one of my biggest goals in life. Probably even above career-related stuff - I'd love to be in a relationship with that level of commitment.


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## Ghost Soda (Nov 4, 2015)

Marriage seems kinda pointless to me. I mean, if I really love someone, I shouldn't need a piece of paper to prove it. Putting a ring on it doesn't make that relationship any more real or committed than two people that are dating but aren't married.

It's not to say I'm against the idea of marriage, but it's just not for me. And anyway, my career is more important than finding a girl/guy anyway.


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## santoyo.bay (Nov 4, 2015)

Marriage isn't really a goal for me, I have so much to live for other than finding a husband or wife. But Im not against it.


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## TarzanGirl (Nov 4, 2015)

Other: I'm already married.


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## King Dorado (Nov 4, 2015)

TarzanGirl said:


> Other: I'm already married.



then you have to pick between "It's not necessarily a goal but I'm not against marriage," or  "I do not like the idea of being married'


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## Yuni (Nov 4, 2015)

I don't think of it as something I must do, but it's something to be done when it's convenient to. I find happiness in being with my special person, and don't need a document to validate a relationship.

Asian parents do pressure it though.


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## DJStarstryker (Nov 4, 2015)

Already am married. Honestly, I don't really care about being married or not. We had to get married because the company we worked for wouldn't pay to move us together overseas unless we were legally married. It would've cost us literally thousands of dollars, vs just going to the court house and paying the $30 marriage license fee. 

We didn't have a wedding because we're introverts and don't care about the stupid party. Instead we took the money and went on a fancy honeymoon to Japan. Far more enjoyable. 

I did not have it as a goal in life. Yeah, I knew I was with the right person. We'd been together for a long time at that point and plan to be together for life. But we just never felt it necessary to have the piece of paper. On the same token, I'm not upset that we're married. There are benefits to being married, such as for taxes as well as things like making medical decisions for each other (though before someone points it out - yeah, we already have the legal paperwork for Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, etc anyways). Life circumstances made us have to get married, but I'm happy either way.


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## eggs (Nov 4, 2015)

i'm dfab, so i was raised to see marriage as a Very Important Thing. however, compared to graduating college and getting my dream job, it's not my "ultimate goal", but more like ONE of them. you feel me?
i want to have someone beside me throughout my life, supporting and loving me while i'm supporting and loving them. i want to share memories with someone that knows every little thing about me and doesn't mind my flaws. this goes to say that i honestly don't think i'd ever be remotely happy being single.


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## oath2order (Nov 4, 2015)

I want to be married at some point but I'm 22 so not any time soon.


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## radical6 (Nov 4, 2015)

eggs said:


> i'm dfab, so i was raised to see marriage as a Very Important Thing. however, compared to graduating college and getting my dream job, it's not my "ultimate goal", but more like ONE of them. you feel me?
> i want to have someone beside me throughout my life, supporting and loving me while i'm supporting and loving them. i want to share memories with someone that knows every little thing about me and doesn't mind my flaws. this goes to say that i honestly don't think i'd ever be remotely happy being single.



what does being dfab have to do with marriage... i know you're trying to avoid being cissexist or something but statements like these don't make sense... hell even cis men are expected to see marriage as a very important thing. i don't see why you're connecting this to your assigned gender at birth... that has like nothing to do with it. even if society perceived you as a woman, dmab people will experience this...


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## MozzarellaSticks (Nov 5, 2015)

I really, really don't want to be married. If I am convinced, I definitely don't want a wedding.


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## Heyden (Nov 5, 2015)

asian mum wants me to have a wife, a good job and lots of kids!!1!11!


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## Mega_Cabbage (Nov 5, 2015)

Never thought about getting married. I like my alone time too much, and I don't feel like getting committed to a partner.


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## twisty (Nov 5, 2015)

I mean, most marriages end in divorce, so.


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## mirukushake (Nov 5, 2015)

I didn't vote because none of the options fit my opinion. Marriage is not my ultimate goal, but I would like to eventually marry my SO, especially since I live in a foreign country and it would allow my life to be more stable here.


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## HungryForCereal (Nov 5, 2015)

im not in the right phase of life to think about marriage yet. as long as i have money, i dont care about being single or not.


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## cornimer (Nov 5, 2015)

Marriage is not a goal of mine but I am not opposed to the idea. However, I have extremely high standards so I will probably never find someone.  For starters they would have to be ace (for obvious reasons).


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## Bjork (Nov 5, 2015)

I don't really care to be honest, I just want to find someone


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## Classygirl (Nov 5, 2015)

The world has changed so much, women now can in some cases take care of themselves with careers and not need a partner and be ok with being single. I do want to have a partner and a family of my own hopefully, being ill I can't even with my degrees work and live on my own and do it all myself, but I would never marry so,done that I didn't feel was my match my forever love either. So I do hope for that, as life has kind of put me in a more old fashioned place, I don't want to live at home back where I am forever obviously and I can't do it all, not every woman can but the perception is that a woman doesn't need a man anymore and I do, as a companion, and friend, and love, and life partner. So I do hope there are men out there that still are looking for love and to be with that person permanantly. I just got out of an engagement and he was younger and I didn't think it would be an issue but it was, and then he just kind of dissapeared no goodbyes nothing...and I have had I guess 4 major relationships in my life, one when I was younger whom I lived with and it was a learning experience but it wasn't right, then the second had alcohol issues like the first so he wasn't in the place I was, the third has come back around but I need to remember why that ended and it wasn't good a respect thing, but the last one hurt because I think it was the first time I actually let myself love so done and be a part of my family and be there for the good and the bad because he was the one that pushed the forever issue so I let my walls down thinking no matter what we would work it out and there really weren't any problems except I think he was young and panicked. But yes it isn't that easy to meet people just randomly as I am not working but I do believe I will find the right person now that I am in a place where I am totally good with myself, I certainly hope it isn't a outdated concept if people just wait and don't settle and stay single until they are truly happy then I think it is absolutely a  wonderful thing, and I am not concerned with the religion part of it at all.


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## himeki (Nov 5, 2015)

single 4 lief


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## tumut (Nov 5, 2015)

I'd like to get married, but I don't want a wedding. That ****'s way too expensive.


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## Bowie (Nov 5, 2015)

I don't see the point of marriage. I think that the celebration side of it is all that matters. It's a celebration of love, and I think that if I did ever decide to get married, I wouldn't like for it to be legal. It's not that I don't want to commit to somebody; it's just that I feel like the legal side of things is irrelevant to the relationship and the relationship is all I care for. I'm not religious at all, so that's also unimportant to me. I'd just he happy living with somebody and sharing our lives together. Just because society thinks we should be bonded religiously and legally doesn't mean we have to, and doesn't mean we will. It's as simple as that.


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## Jill (Nov 5, 2015)

I would really love to get married though at this point in my life I doubt I'm marriage material. :<


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## radioloves (Nov 6, 2015)

Marriage, can happen or it won't happen


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## ChocoMagii (Nov 6, 2015)

I don't necessarily need it. Nor feel like it's the ultimate goal.
But if it happens. I wouldn't be against it. xD


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## meo (Nov 6, 2015)

For me it has to do with family duty. I don't think it's necessary to say you're making that commitment because, in my case, we already have. I do want his last name though. I don't want to keep mine for personal reasons and it seems like the right way to do that, for us, would be through ceremony. 
It also makes things easier in some cases legally and marriage will help me with getting financial aid sooner than 25 (since my parents won't provide their info). With my program costs, that can help us a lot with costs.
My mother would want to see a religious ceremony and while...I do not believe in her religion, I want her to be happy and feel included so we will be having one for her.
By the same token, we'll be having another traditional ceremony for his side of the family whom is mainly Buddhist but it will be more about Vietnamese traditions. Same thing there...I feel we are obligated to share our choice with family and celebrate with family. I also want to show respect. His grandmother had a moment of bad health last year and she's very old so I think she would enjoy being included. I mostly want to do this for her.

That said, I am engaged and we will be getting married in November 2016.


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## eggs (Nov 6, 2015)

justice said:


> what does being dfab have to do with marriage... i know you're trying to avoid being cissexist or something but statements like these don't make sense... hell even cis men are expected to see marriage as a very important thing. i don't see why you're connecting this to your assigned gender at birth... that has like nothing to do with it. even if society perceived you as a woman, dmab people will experience this...



in my family, being dfab = "you must do stereotypical womanly things! cook, have children early, stay at home, clean the house, be in god's good faith!" they're a very conservative bunch. republican, catholic, everything. so my experience and view on marriage is pretty personal. didn't mean to imply any of what you listed.

i disagree with your "cis men are expected to see marriage as a very important thing" bit though. i don't know if you live in the u.s. or not, but here, marriage is mostly seen as a binding, low point in a cis man's life. tv shows, movies -- lots of things point to that. i'm not very sure where you got your belief from. i'm guessing you live in another country?

if you read this, please don't reply. i don't want an argument here when my original post wasn't meant to have an ~underlying message~.


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## Jawile (Nov 6, 2015)

BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS TERRIBLE


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## nintendofan85 (Nov 6, 2015)

I voted for the "It's a goal but I can be single" option.
I'd really like to get married but I'd like to wait a while. In 1959, the year my grandparents got married, my grandma was 16 and my grandpa was 17-I'm 15 now, I definitely won't get married once I'm 17. So I'd like to, but I want to wait until I'm mature.


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## Damniel (Nov 6, 2015)

The only purpose for all organisms to live is to reproduce and keep the species alive,
I'd like to get married one day though.


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## Cheremtasy (Nov 6, 2015)

Honestly I'm not sure. Like I know how some people say marriage is where the relationship ends and some say it's when the relationship starts. It all depends on the couple/pairing too and the circumstances and themselves in general and how they feel. I personally don't know how I feel about it.


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## King Dorado (Nov 6, 2015)

melsi said:


> That said, I am engaged and we will be getting married in November 2016.



congrats!  they do say a wedding is really more for the families than for the bride and groom, and there's some truth to that...


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## RainCrossing (Nov 7, 2015)

It's not my ultimate goal, but it is somewhere up there. I just don't want to grow up lonely (◜◡◝)


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## pearly19 (Nov 10, 2015)

Yeah I know I want to live and grow old with someone so getting married is my goal. It doesnt have to be fulfilled right away but  I do think marriage is  a wonderful thing, to share a life with someone and have a partner you can be with for life!


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## Stalfos (Nov 10, 2015)

I've already told my gf that it's never gonna happen and she's perfectly fine with it. It's not like marriage adds anything to a relationship.

Yay! 2500th post!


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## Cailey (Nov 10, 2015)

not my ultimate goal in life, but a goal. 

I've been with my boyfriend (high school sweetheart) for nearly five years with a cute little house together we've had for nearly two years and our two kitties.. We've had ups and downs but our relationship is pretty mature and we've been through thick and thing together. I think I found my soulmate and the feeling is mutual on his end. we've definitely been fixing up some plans for the future for this. I think it's a beautiful thing but as always I totally respect everyone's opinions and some do make sense.


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## iamnothyper (Nov 10, 2015)

see, humans always feel the need to explain or prove something. marriage traditionally has been the way to signify love.

for me, if it happens it happens. if not, cool.


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## Hermione Granger (Nov 10, 2015)

I'm kind of afraid to get married since no many people in my family has been married lol (From my maternal side, at least. My mom, older sister, grandma, great grandma, uncle, etc. have life long partners, but have never wed. Idk about my paternal side so n/a on that) I'm paranoid about what'll happen if I _do_ get married. I'm quick to assume the worst and think that divorce will occur, which in its way could be my form of being in less pain if it did happen? I have nothing against it though. I'm open to it, but it certainly isn't my life goal, along with having children. The latter will most likely not happen and I am okay with that.


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## TheEchoTimes (Nov 11, 2015)

Well, some people prefer the ceremony of commitment that marriage provides; others like the financial stability/union. As for myself, as long as two people love each other and are committed to each other, that's enough. Some people, for whatever reason, CAN'T get married, so people shouldn't gold up marriage as some be-all-end-all goal of life, because it's not all that there is. I don't plan on getting married myself; I'm not interested in romance at the time. However, some people want it, so they should be allowed to have it. 
However, some people say that they don't want to get married because they want to leave their options open, to which I say this: You're obviously not committed to your partner if you say that, and you shouldn't lead them on like that. If you really love them, you'll stay committed to them, ceremony or not, for as long as possible, without worrying about, "leaving your options open" for other mates.


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## toddishott (Nov 11, 2015)

I personally am looking forward to getting married, I like the idea of marriage but its not for everyone. To each is their own.


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## Llust (Nov 11, 2015)

im bad with commitment tbh..my boyfriends never really lasted for more than a year and im the one who broke off all the relationships >.< i get embarrassed for myself and other people really easily, so one stupid move could result in a turn off lasting for like a week. as stupid as that sounds, thats just something im trying to get over. its the same concept for when they tick me off, i wouldnt completely forgive them until a week or even a month for even the smallest things..i have issues lol..


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## Bulbadragon (Nov 11, 2015)

I'd like to get married eventually, but it's not something I think I HAVE to do. I just want to end up with someone who I have a great relationship with and loves me like I love them.


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## Blueskyy (Nov 11, 2015)

I really enjoy not being married and I'm 26.  I never felt like I needed someone.


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## Nuclear Bingo (Nov 11, 2015)

I just want to say I have read every single post so far.
Thanks for commenting guys. I look forward to reading more posts.


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