# Spanking your Child if they misbehave?



## moonford (Jun 13, 2016)

I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I'm wondering what everybody's thoughts about the issue are.
Is it right or wrong to hit your child if they misbehave?
My answer is: No, because I do not tolerate violence and your child will not learn from their mistakes and therefore will continue to do the thing they did not know was a wrong doing.

Please keep it calm. c: Thank you. ^.^


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## Fleshy (Jun 13, 2016)

hitting a child is an abuse of power. Honestly I have a warped view on this subject due to past experiences so I'll delete what I said and stay away from this thread


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## bigger34 (Jun 13, 2016)

Not really. The only thing I have had done to me is when I used to swear back then, and that was soap to the mouth.


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## zoetrope (Jun 13, 2016)

I'm going to go with no.  It might've been acceptable twenty years ago but we now know how damaging it can be, not to mention ineffective.


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## AnonymousFish (Jun 13, 2016)

I have REALLY mixed feelings about this. If I had a kid, then I'd most likely never hit them. If they were acting out and screaming at, say, a restaurant, then I'd probably just take them out of the restaurant and wait outside with them until they calm down and tell me what's making them freak out so much. You can't always reason with younger kids, though...a smack would be an absolute last resort-and really, not enough to hurt them. I'd feel awful if it did. 


Also, I was spanked as a kid, but only like...once or twice. My parents only used it as a last resort. They were very loving and tried to do everything in their power to calm me down/talk it out when I was being a brat.


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## Fleshy (Jun 13, 2016)

----


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## seliph (Jun 13, 2016)

Oh god not again

But no hitting kids is never ok


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## ams (Jun 13, 2016)

I was spanked as a kid but I wouldn't spank my own kids. I think there's a fine line between hitting someone out of discipline vs. anger.


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## ForgottenT (Jun 13, 2016)

If you need to hit a child to teach it, then you're a failure.


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## #1 Senpai (Jun 13, 2016)

Used to get spanked as a kid, but I wouldn't hit a child to discipline them.


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

No, it's completely unacceptable


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## oath2order (Jun 13, 2016)

Ah a thread for people who are a long ways off from being a parent, judging parenting styles.


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## moonford (Jun 13, 2016)

I like how a lot of people share the exact same thoughts as mine. ^^


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## Aleigh (Jun 13, 2016)

I mean, it doesn't really do much. It doesn't teach them anything, nor does it do you any good, so why even bother?


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## oath2order (Jun 13, 2016)

Also I think this is relevant.


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

And tbh if a kid gets spanked a lot it might get them to dislike the parent, as IMO


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## Paperboy012305 (Jun 13, 2016)

Im just gonna say this and leave immediately. Its wrong. K bye!


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## uwuzumakii (Jun 13, 2016)

I was never spanked as a kid, and I won't do it if I become a parent. I don't think causing any sort of harm to a child that clearly can't defend itself is just wrong and should be punishable by law. I really have no say in if other people do it, so it's really the parent's choice, but it shouldn't still exist in this day and age.


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## Damniel (Jun 13, 2016)

I learned to fear the dreaded Chancleta


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

But what if the child dosent listen to anything you say all the time? You might need to get the belt then


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## zoetrope (Jun 13, 2016)

oath2order said:


> Ah a thread for people who are a long ways off from being a parent, judging parenting styles.



I think corporal punishment is something that can absolutely be discussed.  Why not?


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## FruitsChinpoG (Jun 13, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> But what if the child dosent listen to anything you say all the time? You might need to get the belt then



Wtf why belt them?


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

Also my dad uses a belt to hit my dogs if they're bad, my dog got hit 3 times ever, but they were pretty bad,,


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## oath2order (Jun 13, 2016)

zoetrope said:


> I think corporal punishment is something that can absolutely be discussed.  Why not?



Because I'm fairly certain that people who are well over 10 to 20 years away from being a parent lack the experience to properly have discourse on corporal punishment.


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## zoetrope (Jun 13, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> Also my dad uses a belt to hit my dogs if they're bad, my dog got hit 3 times ever, but they were pretty bad,,



Oh my god.  Please tell him to stop.


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## ShinyYoshi (Jun 13, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> No, it's completely unacceptable





Jared:3 said:


> But what if the child dosent listen to anything you say all the time? You might need to get the belt then



Wait what?


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## FruitsChinpoG (Jun 13, 2016)

Yes, belt your pets to gain their trust, anyway, kinda off-topic


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## Fleshy (Jun 13, 2016)

What is "doing wrong", swearing at your parents? bulling another child? not doing your homework? crying? existing? What is "spanking", a light tap? a hard slap? a punch? a beating? Where are the lines drawn between acceptable punishments and unacceptable punishments?


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

oath2order said:


> Because I'm fairly certain that people who are well over 10 to 20 years away from being a parent lack the experience to properly have discourse on corporal punishment.



What are you talking about? Not everyone here is my age, and some people here are very close to discuss parenting, I don't see why it's wrong


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## oath2order (Jun 13, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> What are you talking about? Not everyone here is my age, and some people here are very close to discuss parenting, I don't see why it's wrong



You're the one who just talked about beating dogs so I don't think you really have any room to talk about anything.


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## jiny (Jun 13, 2016)

it's not a good way to discipline, so if i have kids i'd rather not spank them.


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## Mr. Cat (Jun 13, 2016)

No, it just teaches that violence is okay. I would much rather use postive reinforcement when my child does good deeds rather than punish them for the bad things. I think it's better to treat them as an equal and tell them exactly why it was wrong of them to do whatever they did. I was spanked and yelled at and usually didn't quite understand what I did wrong, so I just starting hiding everything.

Though I do give my little man lots of loving pats on the booty.


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

oath2order said:


> You're the one who just talked about beating dogs so I don't think you really have any room to talk about anything.



Is it my fault that my dad spanks my dogs? They're not small dogs, they sometimes need it because they jump on us, they're larger dogs, I'm not sure why this isn't a talk able thing here? I'm sure parents used the belt 20-30 years ago to smack there children


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## oath2order (Jun 13, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> Is it my fault that my dad spanks my dogs? They're not small dogs, they sometimes need it because they jump on us, they're larger dogs, I'm not sure why this isn't a talk able thing here? I'm sure parents used the belt 20-30 years ago to smack there children



Yes, it is. Why aren't you taking more time to train them?


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

oath2order said:


> Yes, it is. Why aren't you taking more time to train them?



We are training them, I don't train them because I don't know how, my dad does, I have no control over it, if I question it he might hit me with it as well


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## oath2order (Jun 13, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> We are training them, I don't train them because I don't know how, my dad does, I have no control over it, if I question it he might hit me with it as well



You should probably ask if you can help. Beating animals is never okay.


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## Cailey (Jun 13, 2016)

no.


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## ShinyYoshi (Jun 13, 2016)

Honestly, hitting a dog is animal abuse. Hitting a child is child abuse.


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

oath2order said:


> You should probably ask if you can help. Beating animals is never okay.



I know it's not, but my dad thinks it's what am I supposed to do, tell him someone on the bell tree told me it was animal abuse? He would say who gives a ****


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## Beardo (Jun 13, 2016)

Nothing gets me to behave more than a lecture. Long and boring hammers the point in.


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## oath2order (Jun 13, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> I know it's not, but my dad thinks it's what am I supposed to do, tell him someone on the bell tree told me it was animal abuse? He would say who gives a ****



Well, just sayin' I guess you're complicit in animal abuse


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## Sicatiff (Jun 13, 2016)

You should never hit a child whenever they do wrong. But in some cases, only a beating will teach them. Anyway, a child will probably rebel and show attitude if you hit him/her. At least that was how i behaved when I was a child.


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## Llust (Jun 13, 2016)

if nothing else works, i wouldnt say that im against it. but spanking  for disciplinary reasons and our of sheer anger are two different things. i was hit often as a kid, but i did learn to not make the same mistakes twice and made me more responsible, in a way. however, i dont have a tight bond with my parents like i used to and i dont really tell them anything about my personal life, and perhaps that was because of the hitting. but thats not something anyone wants. despite being hit in the past, i know well that going all willy nilly with the abuse isnt okay, but in some cases, i can see where it's necessary


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## Jared:3 (Jun 13, 2016)

oath2order said:


> Well, just sayin' I guess you're complicit in animal abuse



Oh so it's my fault? Read the last post carefully, I have no control over what my dad does, do I need to put in bold letters so you can read it clearly?

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oath2order said:


> Well, just sayin' I guess you're complicit in animal abuse



Oh so it's my fault? Read the last post carefully, I have no control over what my dad does, do I need to put in bold letters so you can read it clearly?

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oath2order said:


> Well, just sayin' I guess you're complicit in animal abuse



Oh so it's my fault? Read the last post carefully, I have no control over what my dad does, do I need to put in bold letters so you can read it clearly?


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## MorningStar (Jun 13, 2016)

I got my butt swatted if I was doing something that was a threat to my life or the life or wellbeing of something else. Basically, only if I was being REALLY bad. My dad was abusive, but my mother only thwacked me if I was being truly naughty. Anything else I got normal punishments for.

I think children react to slight, sharp pain. A beating is out of the question, but a swat to the fleshy backside can make a point that what they're doing is SERIOUSLY wrong.


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## Jake (Jun 13, 2016)

Hey all, please try to refrain from arguing with one another, otherwise this thread will be locked and warnings may be issued. Thanks.


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## Zanessa (Jun 13, 2016)

There are other ways to discipline kids.


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## tearypastel (Jun 13, 2016)

my mother has only hit me twice in my life, and they were slight slaps on my harm, nowhere near my butt. i was also really little and i was probably being a brat. she felt really really bad afterwards and she's not touched any of my sisters and i in a violent way since. i really dislike the idea of actually spanking somebody, but if my child was being realy naughty then i would maybe lightly smack them? idk, and that's a maybe.


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## Xerolin (Jun 14, 2016)

I got spanked when I was younger, and I didn't do those things again, or at least for a very long time.

I voted "depends" as you shouldn't let them get away with misbehaving without consequences, but you dont want them to be scared of you.


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## MorningStar (Jun 14, 2016)

Xerolin said:


> I got spanked when I was younger, and I didn't do those things again, or at least for a very long time.
> 
> I voted "depends" as you shouldn't let them get away with misbehaving without consequences, but you dont want them to be scared of you.



This is where my dad failed. When my mom hit me, I knew I'd seriously messed up. But my dad did it so much it lost all meaning. A minor infraction like forgetting to put away the dishes got the same punishment as me doing something like being out late at night or going to a stranger's house. The severity of the punishment needs to be level with the mistake the child made.


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## Mary (Jun 14, 2016)

I used to get spanked a lot as a kid. I was a good kid, but my father wasn't emotionally stable and he liked to take his anger out on me. I don't think this is an acceptable method of parenting.


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## Aquari (Jun 14, 2016)

ONLY if it is disciplinary


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Neikkocat06 said:


> ONLY if it is disciplinary



yeah but where do you draw the line? lmao an adult hitting a child at all under any circumstances is wrong, i'm so terrified of anyone who thinks otherwise


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## Mega_Cabbage (Jun 14, 2016)

If they keep doing something that they know is wrong, then a swift smack on the butt might get them to stop.


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Mega_Cabbage said:


> If they keep doing something that they know is wrong, then a swift smack on the butt *might *get them to stop.



yeah "*might*" so is hitting a child really worth the gamble?


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## Aquari (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> yeah but where do you draw the line? lmao an adult hitting a child at all under any circumstances is wrong, i'm so terrified of anyone who thinks otherwise



my parents always spanked me if i misbehaved, and to be honest i think spanking is very effective in disciplining a child, if my parents didnt spank me i'd probs be ALOT worse than i already am, spank 'em 2-3 time with a sandal and thats it


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Neikkocat06 said:


> my parents always spanked me if i misbehaved, and to be honest i think spanking is very effective in disciplining a child, if my parents didnt spank me i'd probs be ALOT worse than i already am, spank 'em 2-3 time with a sandal and thats it



not every child is that lucky. where do you draw the line?


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## Aquari (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> not every child is that lucky. where do you draw the line?



i draw the line at 2-3 spanks with a sandal


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## Mega_Cabbage (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> yeah "*might*" so is hitting a child really worth the gamble?



It's worth a shot if they don't listen to reason. Better to have them disciplined rather than having them playing somewhere they shouldn't and getting themselves severely injured or killed.


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Neikkocat06 said:


> i draw the line at 2-3 spanks with a sandal



I guess you're lucky then, that you got away with only 2-3 spanks when you done something_ really_ bad, not every child is that "lucky"



Mega_Cabbage said:


> It's worth a shot if they don't listen to reason. Better to have them disciplined rather than having them playing somewhere they shouldn't and getting themselves severely injured or killed.



Yeah but not all parents hit their kids for something as serious as that, some parents hit their child(ren) just because they feel like it, that's wrong, right? You can discipline in other ways!!! honestly, an adult using their strength over a child is not "worth a shot"


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## MorningStar (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> I guess you're lucky then, that you got away with only 2-3 spanks when you done something_ really_ bad, not every child is that "lucky"



Yeah, but that's actual abuse. If the kid hasn't done something to deserve a spanking, then it's not being used as a punishment. Rather, it's being done because the parent is on a power trip.


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## Aquari (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> I guess you're lucky then, that you got away with only 2-3 spanks when you done something_ really_ bad, not every child is that "lucky"
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah but not all parents hit their kids for something as serious as that, some parents hit their child(ren) just because they feel like it, that's wrong, right? You can discipline in other ways!!! honestly, an adult using their strength over a child is not "worth a shot"



i never said that IVE been spanked 2-3 times, thats just the amount that i would inflict on my non-existent child, my parents spanked me seemingly endless times with sandals, coat hangers, shoes and even a cup


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

dm

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Neikkocat06 said:


> i never said that IVE been spanked 2-3 times, thats just the amount that i would inflict on my non-existent child, my parents spanked me seemingly endless times with sandals, coat hangers, shoes and even a cup



sorry, I assumed you meant you


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## inkling (Jun 14, 2016)

i put it depends bc i personally i was always hit/attacked out of anger and it was always extremely random and super scary and not normal at all. im sure its effected me in some way even though ive tried to ignore it.

at the same time ive known other completely normal people around the same age as me that would get wacked or the belt and had loving parents (im sure in some instances) so really i dont know. 

i personally would never hit my own children. but like others have said there is a difference between punishment out of anger and done for discipline. i think wacking your kids is pretty put dated but im not gonna sit here and judge people for it. this is kinda a class issue thing and thats something im not touching with a 10 foot poll here on tbt.


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

inkling said:


> i put it depends bc i personally i was always hit/attacked out of anger and it was always extremely random and super scary and not normal at all. im sure its effected me in some way even though ive tried to ignore it.
> 
> at the same time ive known other completely normal people around the same age as me that would get wacked or the belt and had loving parents (im sure in some instances) so really i dont know.
> 
> i personally would never hit my own children. but like others have said there is a difference between punishment out of anger and done for discipline. i think wacking your kids is pretty put dated but im not gonna sit here and judge people for it. this is kinda a class issue thing and thats something im not touching with a 10 foot poll here on tbt.



how is hitting children a class issue?


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## Dreamy Luigi (Jun 14, 2016)

No wtf, just take something away from them.


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## inkling (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> how is hitting children a class issue?



this will be my last post but i want to inform you i am in usa and first generation american and things are pretty different here just fyi.


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

inkling said:


> this will be my last post but i want to inform you i am in usa and first generation american and things are pretty different here just fyi.



idk what you're getting at, i'm low class and from the uk and I don't get what class has to do with hitting children? but ok (ah dm i think i get it now. but hurting children is wrong regardless of who you are)


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## Aquari (Jun 14, 2016)

Dreamy Luigi said:


> No wtf, just take something away from them.



imo i dont think that'll work that well because they pretty much know they'll get it back eventually


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## inkling (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> idk what you're getting at, i'm low class and from the uk and I don't get what class has to do with hitting children? but ok (ah dm i think i get it now. but hurting children is wrong regardless of who you are)



it does. rich people dont hit their kids


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

inkling said:


> it does. rich people dont hit their kids



my dad is pretty rich now. bad people are bad people, regardless of class. but it's fine, i get what you're saying now


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## Jared:3 (Jun 14, 2016)

It's true though the rich (including myself) don't get punished or hit, I got punished 2 when I was 9 because I got straight B's on my report card :|


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> It's true though the rich (including myself) don't get punished or hit, I got punished 2 when I was 9 because I got straight B's on my report card :|



great, so the reason i got what i got isn't because my father was abusive, but because he was "poor", so true, thanks


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## p e p p e r (Jun 14, 2016)

No, it's horrible to do that.  Funny how if you beat up an adult you can go to jail but if you beat your kids it's ok...

It just causes psychological damage, so I think you are the scum of the earth if you hit your kids


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## okaimii (Jun 14, 2016)

I was spanked as a child when I misbehaved. Can't really say that taught me to believe that hitting people is okay. I don't encourage parents to hit their children and in fact I suggest it as a last resort but some children are really bratty and don't come to their senses unless they get a little slap on the wrist or a spanking. However I do think there is a fine line between disciplining a child and abusing them.


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## Jared:3 (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> great, so the reason i got what i got isn't because my father was abusive, but because he was "poor", so true, thanks



What are you talking about you literally said your father was rich and I said it was true that rich kids never get smacked..


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## Corrie (Jun 14, 2016)

I was spanked as a child and it legit is frightning. I would not want my kid to fear me like I feared my parents. I feel like there are much better and more effective ways to discipline your child. I feel like spanking is a way for the parents to take out their anger instead of an Effective way to tell your kid what they did was wrong. I will never spank or hit my children. It is wrong.


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> What are you talking about you literally said your father was rich and I said it was true that rich kids never get smacked..



he's rich now, he wasn't before. people are bad, regardless of class, that's what i'm on about. 

when people say "rich people don't get smacked" it seems more about classism than abused children but idk i should stop now


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## Jared:3 (Jun 14, 2016)

FleshyBro said:


> he's rich now, he wasn't before. people are bad, regardless of class, that's what i'm on about.
> 
> when people say "rich people don't get smacked" it seems more about classism than abused children but idk i should stop now


Oh well sorry I didn't know that, and also I agree with you, I'm not against you, and yes, a lot of the kids in my community are bad and disobey there parents


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> Oh well sorry I didn't know that, and also I agree with you, I'm not against you, and yes, a lot of the kids in my community are bad and disobey there parents



it's fine, you said nothing wrong tbh, you don't need to say sorry. it's just the fact that more people think it's okay to hit children or hit them under some circumstances than those who think hitting children is wrong and that means he won


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## D3athsdoppelganger (Jun 14, 2016)

Whiteflamingo said:


> I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I'm wondering what everybody's thoughts about the issue are.
> Is it right or wrong to hit your child if they misbehave?
> My answer is: No, because I do not tolerate violence and your child will not learn from their mistakes and therefore will continue to do the thing they did not know was a wrong doing.
> 
> Please keep it calm. c: Thank you. ^.^




No. For one reason I say no. Is cause i was abused as a lil child by my father and he used to hit and beat my mother too. Then he always said no im not im just spanking him. No cause he used hit me on the head and when I went to the doctors they said my blood flow is bad and if this continued I would die. That is why I believe and when i have children I will never spank them.


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## Katattacc (Jun 14, 2016)

it shouldn't be your default form of punishment... but it's quite difficult to reason with a toddler and sometimes you have to communicate that what they did is wrong in a way they can understand. By no means should you ever leave marks or bruises on a child ever, but sometimes a slap on the wrist is what's necessary. 
I feel this way only because I have had experience with several toddlers and telling them no most of the time just wont work.


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## DarkDesertFox (Jun 14, 2016)

Calling spanking child abuse is a bit excessive. Now if the parent spanking used unreasonable force, then yeah that would be abuse. I probably should have voted "depends" though. I'm not a parent, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable spanking my child as a main form of punishment.


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## Brackets (Jun 14, 2016)

I was never spanked as a child, I was taught right and wrong and to respect my parents.

My main points against it are:
1) If hitting an adult isn't socially acceptable, then why is it ok to hit a child? Surely that's, if anything, teaching them that violence is right?
2) Hitting your child is teaching them to behave out of fear, not respect. And if your argument is 'they're too young to understand and learn respect!' THEN THEY'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE HITTING THEM OMG


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

DarkDesertFox said:


> Calling spanking child abuse is a bit excessive. Now if the parent spanking used unreasonable force, then yeah that would be abuse. I probably should have voted "depends" though. I'm not a parent, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable spanking my child as a main form of punishment.



If you mean what I said i didn't mean that spanking = child abuse, I meant where is the line drawn? saying that it's okay to hit a child "sometimes" leaves the door open to it going further


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## Jared:3 (Jun 14, 2016)

Come on bro, this conversation is getting off topic dudes :3


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## Fleshy (Jun 14, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> Come on bro, this conversation is getting off topic dudes :3



I don't know what anyone expected tbh, I don't see how this is a suitable conversation to be had here


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## Buttonsy (Jun 14, 2016)

You have to teach your kids that their body belongs to them and that it's always wrong for someone to touch them without permission. Even if they hurt another child, you still cannot teach children to not be violent by showing them their parents, the people who should be role models, just being more violent.


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## visibleghost (Jun 14, 2016)

child abuse is illegal. it is obviously wrong


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## Aquari (Jun 14, 2016)

well it really depends, you shouldnt spank them for the tiniest things, just genuinely problematic reasons

for example if little billy didnt clean his room, or he's being a little smart-a** then no give give him a warning or 5mins in the corner or somethin

but if he stars fighting kids in school, stealing, etc. then yes a spanking is fine, as long as its not too hard


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## focus (Jun 14, 2016)

no, from my experience it doesnt help u nor ur child and it will only make ur child fear u and ur connection will become weaker. not to mention all the mental and emotional damage it'll cause for the both of u. never hit ur children.


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## Diancie (Jun 14, 2016)

No, in my opinion spanking/abusing children will 'cause even more problems. Sit down, have a talk, and solve the problems.


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## piichinu (Jun 14, 2016)

ya my dad used to hit not spank us and it was pretty scary but it worked on us (or me at least) and i was much more disciplined back then so idk

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personally i wouldn't though

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inkling said:


> it does. rich people dont hit their kids



uhhhhhh no

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Neikkocat06 said:


> imo i dont think that'll work that well because they pretty much know they'll get it back eventually



not unless they break the thing they took


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## Romaki (Jun 14, 2016)

Hittings kids (or anybody for that matter) is never okay.


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## RainbowCherry (Jun 14, 2016)

Jared:3 said:


> But what if the child dosent listen to anything you say all the time? You might need to get the belt then



Bu... There's a difference between getting spanked

and the ****ing belt


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## namiieco (Jun 14, 2016)

No, it's pretty cruel but... idk


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## debinoresu (Jun 14, 2016)

i was spanked as a kid and yea it worked but now im just scared of my dad, i dont really love him. if you want your kid to listen to you but secretly hate you then sure raise them aggressively


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## seliph (Jun 14, 2016)

inkling said:


> it does. rich people dont hit their kids



Are you ****ing serious lmao where did you get this wild ass generalization what??????



DarkDesertFox said:


> Calling spanking child abuse is a bit excessive. Now if the parent spanking used unreasonable force, then yeah that would be abuse. I probably should have voted "depends" though. I'm not a parent, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable spanking my child as a main form of punishment.



Idk I think it's pretty reasonable to call hurting your child on purpose "abuse"


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## Bowie (Jun 14, 2016)

I consider it child abuse.


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## kayleee (Jun 14, 2016)

I was spanked as a kid all the time. don't really think it worked in making me behave better so I'd say no, it's ineffective and kids shouldn't be taught to use violence when someone isn't acting the way they want them to.


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## Rubylena (Jun 14, 2016)

I am REALLY shocked that so many people in this thread say they were spanked.. are those all quite old (sorry, you know what I mean) and were raised differently or is that normal in your country (America?!)?! Is it allowed?
It's not acceptable. It isn't allowed here (I know it still happens of course, I'm just interested in other places' laws on this) and can lead to your kid being taken away from you. 
Everyone who voted yes: I hope you don't have/will never have kids.


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## Stalfos (Jun 14, 2016)

View attachment 175063
Ingen blir sn?ll av stryk.

Translation: Nobody get's better/nicer from being beaten.


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## piichinu (Jun 14, 2016)

Rubylena said:


> I am REALLY shocked that so many people in this thread say they were spanked.. are those all quite old (sorry, you know what I mean) and were raised differently or is that normal in your country (America?!)?! Is it allowed?
> It's not acceptable. It isn't allowed here (I know it still happens of course, I'm just interested in other places' laws on this) and can lead to your kid being taken away from you.
> Everyone who voted yes: I hope you don't have/will never have kids.



me personally, im 16 and in america. my parents aren't from this country & no its not legal here.


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## maka (Jun 14, 2016)

I'm mixed about it. I've been spanked a few times as a younger child, and slapped once when I was older(for something that wasn't my fault, but I don't really care at this point). I'd say it should be used as a last resort if the kid is being disrespectful. But I'm not an adult either so my opinion might be less credible. I wouldn't go as far to say it's child abuse though. It depends on what it is.


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## Tensu (Jun 14, 2016)

This is gonna be another one of _those_ threads. It really depends on what the kid did. If it's not a big deal, you shouldn't spank him. But if it is something really bad, then let him off with a warning. Then if he does it again, you should spank him.

- - - Post Merge - - -

And definitely not out of anger but discipline. You can't just go around abusing children when you have a hissy fit.

- - - Post Merge - - -

My brothers got spanked with my mom's sandals (las chancletas). I was always a goodie goodie so I rarely got spanked. That's what happens when you come from a Cuban family lmao. Good times...


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## Aali (Jun 14, 2016)

I have mixed feeling about this. I was spanked only like 2-3 times as a kid. and I honestly think I deserved it (i broke something on purpose, another time I said like ever swear word I knew just for fun) but idk if I would spank my own kids, right now I don't think I want kids, so I guess I really don't have an opinion


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## etsusho (Jun 14, 2016)

I was spanked a couple times, but I don't know if I would spank my own kids.

If it is done, though, it shouldn't be hard enough to be considered abuse, though.  I thought it should be more of a symbol than actually hurt.  I've heard that some kids just need some kind of actual punishment they can really remember for them to know that something they did was wrong, instead of just being told, "No," all the time and forgetting about it.  Or just knowing the possibility of it happening (even if it doesn't) is enough to stop them from misbehaving.

I don't know a lot about this, though.  Guess I'll learn whenever I have kids.


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## Cazqui (Jun 14, 2016)

I think people need to learn how to actually be a parent instead of relying out dated practices to discipline their children.


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## ellarella (Jun 14, 2016)

i feel like it's pretty obvious by now that spanking doesn't have a positive effect on any kid, so there's no reason to do it.


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## ZetaFunction (Jun 14, 2016)

I don't believe in physical punishments when children misbehave; you should use discipline to teach them how to behave properly, but things like spanking and hitting are wrong.


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## EtchaSketch (Jun 14, 2016)

Haha, no. My mother was absolute crap to me and my brother when we were little, until we were able to fight back. It taught us nothing but to be violent back. Up until recently I didn't have a relationship with my mother, because of what she did to me, and the endless verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes we wouldn't even do anything wrong, she'd just assume. Three years ago my baby brother was born and I'm honestly concerned he's going to grow up violent, and he's already showing signs. 

Tl;dr: Don't punish your kids like this, it's a trashy move, teaches them nothing, and lessens their relationship with you. I and many others I talk to agree.


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## Soigne (Jun 14, 2016)

I personally wouldn't do it if I had children.


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## Blu Rose (Jun 14, 2016)

While I personally wouldn't, I believe it totally okay to spank your child if other methods of discipline have been employed and it is used sparingly.  I remember being spanked, like, 10 times or so?  It was always used if I were to have been screaming in my room after being sent there--if I was being bad even after being dispelled.  It was actually used once totally unfairly, but he was drunk so we excuse that.


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## That Zephyr Guy (Jun 14, 2016)

I think it's fine depending on how the parent handles it. Obviously it should only be reserved for the harshest punishments, and how the parent handles it really makes a huge difference in my opinion.

To me, there's a huge difference between spanking your child while you appear angry, and spanking your child while you appear calm. 

While both can be bad depending on the child, if the child knows it's a punishment from their wrongdoing as opposed to a consequence of their parent being angry, then I think it's fine.

Then again, this is all from my experience. My parents spanked me when I was a kid, and my relationship with them is really good. Any issues I have with my parents stem from completely unrelated things. Like, I don't like my mom basically at all because of how lazy she is, but I get along and like my dad a lot. It was, ironically, my dad who usually dealt out the punishment as well.


So yeah, I personally believe it's fine, but it has to be handled carefully and I'm totally in understanding of why someone would disagree with it. I think my parents just handled it very well.


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## Miii (Jun 14, 2016)

Oh great, here we go again. Last time this was a thread, it ended with "spanking is always child abuse no matter what, and makes you a horrible parent, it traumatizes your children ,etc." I'm surprised it's lasted this long.

So once again, I agree with it if they're really misbehaving and refuse to respect you and the rules you put in place because it gets their attention and coddling a child their entire life simply doesn't work. I don't agree with spanking children every time they make a mistake, are too hyper in public, are loud in public etc. I only think spanking should be used when they absolutely won't listen to you.

I've read studies on this, but sadly, most of them were poorly conducted and were in favor of "spanking is always bad" to begin with. The reason I say these studies are poorly conducted is because things like face slapping, beating, and hitting children so hard it caused bruising were almost always included, yet the studies were supposed about spanking kids on the butt. I'm sure someone will jump down my throat, so let me just say now that _I don't condone child abuse_ and I think a light smack on the butt, _not a forceful beating_, can be a good form of discipline.

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EtchaSketch said:


> Haha, no. My mother was absolute crap to me and my brother when we were little, until we were able to fight back. It taught us nothing but to be violent back. Up until recently I didn't have a relationship with my mother, because of what she did to me, and the endless verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes we wouldn't even do anything wrong, she'd just assume. Three years ago my baby brother was born and I'm honestly concerned he's going to grow up violent, and he's already showing signs.
> 
> Tl;dr: Don't punish your kids like this, it's a trashy move, teaches them nothing, and lessens their relationship with you. I and many others I talk to agree.



Spanking kids and what your mother did to you and your siblings are different things. We all agree that beating your children is awful.


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## Zii (Jun 14, 2016)

Definitely no. There are a million other ways to discipline a child. Physical violence isn't an answer and could lead to the child developing problematic impressions about various other things.


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## HungryForCereal (Jun 15, 2016)

it should depends on what your child has done. if its just a minor case of misbehaving then i dont think you need to spank them but if its something serious then go ahead, spank them till their asses are red.


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