# Is Not Wanting To Date Transpeople Transphobic?



## RhinoK (Dec 17, 2015)

I see way too many conflicting points of view on this, so i decided to make a thread to see people's reasonings and possibilities


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## Mariah (Dec 17, 2015)

Probably.


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 17, 2015)

No if you don't wanna you don't have to
there is a difference between hating trans people and not wanting to date them lol


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## DarkDesertFox (Dec 17, 2015)

I hope today this thread has a more civil discussion. I don't think that's being transphobic at all. Everyone has their preferences. While I will respect and treat someone who is trans as any other person, I would prefer not to date someone who is trans.


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## Dinosaurz (Dec 17, 2015)

No, not at all
I wouldn't wanna date a man who used to be a woman but that doesn't make me transphobic.


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## oath2order (Dec 17, 2015)

I prefer ****. Lady parts are not something I'm into. I don't think I could date someone with lady parts.


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## Manah (Dec 17, 2015)

You have no obligation to date anyone, so no.


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## SoftFairie (Dec 17, 2015)

No, that just means you're not attracted to them ._.


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## Nightmares (Dec 17, 2015)

"I don't want to date someone really tall" 

"HEIGHTPHOBIC!!!1!11"


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## Isabella (Dec 17, 2015)

no. wouldn't that mean you're pansexual if you're open to dating all genders including trans? not everyone is into that so it's just a matter of preference. 
It's kind of like saying you are strictly lesbian and wouldn't date a guy ever, etc.


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## Matramix (Dec 17, 2015)

No. But I feel like it would be different if you WERE dating someone transgender and didn't know until later in the relationship and then broke up with them because of it? Idk


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## LethalLulu (Dec 17, 2015)

Matramix said:


> No. But I feel like it would be different if you WERE dating someone transgender and didn't know until later in the relationship and then broke up with them because of it? Idk



You gotta think that the trans person was lying about being trans to date said person, so it's a double sided coin.  I've heard of that happening.

@ op, I don't think it's transphobic.  I am pansexual, so I will date whoever I am attracted to, and that can be anyone.


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## Rose (Dec 17, 2015)

No, but going around and saying "I'd never date someone who is trans" is insensitive and could be seen as that. As long as you aren't outwardly projecting it for no reason, you're allowed to be attracted to who you're attracted to.


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## Beardo (Dec 17, 2015)

Nah, it's kinda like if I didn't want to date someone of a specific gender. Nothing against them as people, but I have a preference.


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## EtchaSketch (Dec 17, 2015)

I'd date anybody haha
Guys, girls, trans
Panromantic (oops) as heck


But hey, that long list of people lurking this thread are lurking only because they know that topics like this could cause drama. Just be careful!


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## Red Cat (Dec 17, 2015)

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date someone who is transgender. No one has the right to tell you who to date / not to date just like you have no right to tell someone else who to have a relationship with.


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## Halloqueen (Dec 17, 2015)

I'm asexual, so I can't really speak to the whole attraction aspect.

That said, if you find the transperson attractive, like their personality, and generally just think they're a great person that you'd like to date and maybe marry someday, the fact that they were once the opposite biological sex shouldn't really matter. Who they are at present and in the future is what should be important, as that is who they truly feel they are. 

It comes down to individuals and their biases and prejudices, but I can't help but feel that it is a bit questionable that it should be an issue if the person fits the rest of your criteria for a potential mate and someone refuses just because the person is trans.


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## kayleee (Dec 17, 2015)

No it's definitely not transphobic


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## Acruoxil (Dec 17, 2015)

It's called having a preference.


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## Dinosaurz (Dec 17, 2015)

LethalLulu said:


> You gotta think that the trans person was lying about being trans to date said person, so it's a double sided coin.  I've heard of that happening.
> 
> @ op, I don't think it's transphobic.  I am pansexual, so I will date whoever I am attracted to, and that can be anyone.



Wait does that mean your attracted to pans?
Okay bad pun
I'll leave now...


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## RhinoK (Dec 17, 2015)

Tbh I'm quite surprised no one has said 'yes' yet?
I don't think it's transphobic at all and personally I wouldn't date a trans man pre-op mainly because of the sexual side and im gay so it's a bit incompatible 

Elsewhere, nearly everyone else says it transphobic. 



Aerate said:


> It's called having a preference.



not the preference talk all over again


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## Izzy Reincarnated (Dec 17, 2015)

Lol, whut is that


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## Tao (Dec 17, 2015)

No, it's preference.




Matramix said:


> No. But I feel like it would be different if you WERE dating someone transgender and didn't know until later in the relationship and then broke up with them because of it? Idk



What if the other person wanted somebody they could potentially reproduce with "the good old fashioned way"?


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## radical6 (Dec 17, 2015)

I mean, if you weren't going to have sex (like underaged couples, ldr)I don't see why you would care. Especially those who transisiton.

There a lot more ways to have sex than using a **** and a vagina, imo. Dildos, whatever. Be creative. One reason I get is when people are traumatized from **** coz of rape tho. 

But like, romantically speaking? I see no reason why not. Especially if you couldn't tell they were trans before. Sexually, I understand, but still. 

Sex isn't a big deal to me at all tbh, so I wouldn't really care. Idk how its a dealbreaker for some people but whatever people have their kinks


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## boujee (Dec 17, 2015)

probably not
well idk, I can't really predict who I'll love in the future so my mind is pretty open 
I am sexually attracted to the female sex though but who KNOWS 
I just want someone who will make me laugh lol


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## ToxiFoxy (Dec 17, 2015)

L CocoaBean said:


> "I don't want to date someone really tall"
> 
> "HEIGHTPHOBIC!!!1!11"



Omg I am dying right now XD


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## pillow bunny (Dec 17, 2015)

yes and if you don't date me ur pillowbunnyphobic and should kill yourself uwu


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## Hopeless Opus (Dec 17, 2015)

No, not at all.


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## skarmoury (Dec 17, 2015)

Obviously not! o:
It's called preference. If you hate on trans people, _that's_ transphobia.

If you don't want to date trans people because they aren't your type, then that's fine, it's a matter of like/dislike and everyone experiences that. However, once you start judging them i.e. saying bad things about them, it's being transphobic.


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## Loriii (Dec 17, 2015)

L CocoaBean said:


> "I don't want to date someone really tall"
> 
> "HEIGHTPHOBIC!!!1!11"



This was the funniest thing I've read today  LOLOL

And like what people said, you're just not attracted to trans or they aren't your preference. Not really having a phobia with them.


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## inkling (Dec 17, 2015)

No I mean some people won't date messy people or people of the same sex or opposite sex. You know...sexual preference.


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## Bowie (Dec 17, 2015)

No.


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## Aali (Dec 17, 2015)

I wouldn't want to, but I don't hate trans people, I used to be friends with one but we kinda drifted.

So, no.


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## CuriousCharli (Dec 17, 2015)

If you showed hate to them THAT'S transphobic. You just don't wanna date them.


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## Cazqui (Dec 17, 2015)

No.


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## HopeForHyrule (Dec 18, 2015)

I'd have to say no. Transphobia would be you hating them. As others have said, it really boils down to sexual preference. I wouldn't wanna date a dude who used to be a broad, which would be my sexual preference.


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## Shimmer (Dec 18, 2015)

I don't think so. I prefer not to date black people but that doesn't make me hate black people. Same thing goes with trans although with trans it becomes more complicated if they still have their original sexual organs. That is, if their partner is straight. 

I wouldn't date a trans person though. I'm sorry.


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## visibleghost (Dec 18, 2015)

yes it's transphobic af???

obviously you can't force anyone to date a trans person but i mean... if literally the only reason that you do not want to date them is thst they're trans then you're really transphobic. 

like you know it's kind of like how some people don't want to date black people and stuff?? yeah they're racist!! and people who don't want to date trans people because they're trans are transphobic!!!!  wow


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## Mariah (Dec 18, 2015)

Shimmer said:


> I don't think so. I prefer not to date black people but that doesn't make me hate black people.



Yeah, it makes you a racist.


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## radical6 (Dec 18, 2015)

This thread is kind of depressing once you realize that most people think you're a repulsive sex freak and will never date you unless they're trans/gay themself.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Mariah said:


> Yeah, it makes you a racist.



it amazes me people dont realize like..black people come in many skintones. so do asians. and whites. and they all look different. idk how you cant be attracted to one race without knowing what the individual looks like first


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## piichinu (Dec 18, 2015)

No it isnt


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## Alienfish (Dec 18, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> No if you don't wanna you don't have to
> there is a difference between hating trans people and not wanting to date them lol



Indeed.. You can still be accepting and get attracted by different things. I mean we all have our preferences and what you date doesn't really have to do with what you think otherwise or what you fancy.


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## MozzarellaSticks (Dec 18, 2015)

It's a preference, but it goes a bit deeper. Sex is a big part of a relationship and being intimate with someone. Sexual attraction and comparability is needed for most relationships. If someone can't get that from a trans person, then they aren't compatible with trans people. It's not transphobic.


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## KaydeeKrunk (Dec 18, 2015)

It's preference, and people are entitled to their preferences. Now if someone met someone that was Post Op everything and totally transitioned, and someone fell in love with them and their body and everything about them and then when the person tells them they are trans then the person just leaves them then that would be trans-phobic in my opinion.


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## Munna (Dec 18, 2015)

No, it's not transphobic.

However think about this:

If you don't find (just for example!) skinny men attractive, but you don't actively engage in shaming/bullying/belittling them---you are not "skinny men phobic" just not attracted to that body shape.

_BUT out of common decency, you wouldn't really advertise that fact for no reason._

It would also be weird to do so:
 "hey guys did you know I don't find your thin brother attractive. Yeah. He's just plain ugly in my opinion. Yep. Boy is that guy THIIIN! Just thought you should know."

People: "o.k., soooooo did he try to ask you out? Why are you telling us this?"

Skinny Phobe: "No reason, I just wanted to announce my disgust towards thin men for no apparent reason. Have a great day!"

O.K. I just wanted to be silly there! (and used skinny men, as I think fat women get enough of a hard time already)

but I think that makes the distinction clear. 

In more sensible words:
You are entitled to like whatever you want, just don't shame the people who don't do it for you.

It's great that you are sensitive enough to ask this question though.


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## nerdatheart9490 (Dec 18, 2015)

I wouldn't say it is. It's kind of like how not wanting to date a person of another race isn't racist. For example, I wouldn't want to date a black person. I have many black friends who I love dearly, but I'm not physically attracted to them, or any other black person, because black people don't have the physical features that I'm attracted to (this is the whole sexual attraction thing, it has nothing to do with how you connect with them. Because in most relationships that are not asexual, sexuality plays a big part in a healthy relationship). Other people will only date people of another race, because they don't find their own race attractive. That doesn't make them a "race traitor" as my mother would call them.

You can't help who you are attracted to. Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of dating a trans person. And that's fine. As long as you respect them as a person, and don't treat them as less than human because they are trans.


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## tsantsa (Dec 18, 2015)

In my opinion it doesn't, it'd be like saying to someone who doesn't want to date someone of the same gender that they're homophobic.


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## cIementine (Dec 18, 2015)

It depends on how a person is coming across. If they simply aren't sexually attracted to a trans person, but still have general respect for them, then that's a preference. Whereas saying 'ewww as if never ughh' is belittling, discriminative and therefore transphobic.


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## Manah (Dec 18, 2015)

lencurryboy said:


> if literally the only reason that you do not want to date them is thst they're trans then you're really transphobic.



And if literally the only reason a gay guy doesn't date girls is that they're female, he's sexist?


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## skarmoury (Dec 18, 2015)

lencurryboy said:


> yes it's transphobic af???
> 
> obviously you can't force anyone to date a trans person but i mean... if literally the only reason that you do not want to date them is thst they're trans then you're really transphobic.
> 
> like you know it's kind of like how some people don't want to date black people and stuff?? yeah they're racist!! and people who don't want to date trans people because they're trans are transphobic!!!!  wow



Noooo it doesn't work that way!

I mean, for example, I don't want to date women; it doesn't make me a misogynist. I'm not sexually attracted to men, but it doesn't mean I hate men. I had a roommate who's trans and he's not attracted to anyone; it doesn't mean he hates everyone. I have a friend who doesn't like dating black people, but she doesn't hate them at all nor does she put them down. I have another friend who doesn't like dating short men, but she doesn't say mean things about them. (And personally, the reason men don't want to date me is because I'm short, but I don't feel any bad judgement from them. And it's okay.)

Having preferences doesn't mean you're putting another person down. It just means you're not attracted to them in a certain way, and that's totally okay! What's wrong is bad-mouthing others-- just because you're not attracted to them doesn't mean you have the right to say **** about them. It all boils down to respect, and once you become disrespectful of another, _that's_ being phobic.

Please tell me if I'm wrong; I'm just trying to feel my way through this and I might have said something, you know, wrong. o:


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## oath2order (Dec 18, 2015)

lencurryboy said:


> yes it's transphobic af???
> 
> obviously you can't force anyone to date a trans person but i mean... if literally the only reason that you do not want to date them is thst they're trans then you're really transphobic.
> 
> like you know it's kind of like how some people don't want to date black people and stuff?? yeah they're racist!! and people who don't want to date trans people because they're trans are transphobic!!!!  wow



Well, for some people, sex is an important thing. For example, I like male parts. I don't think I could date a transman, due to the lack of parts that make sex enjoyable for me.




justice said:


> it amazes me people dont realize like..black people come in many skintones. so do asians. and whites. and they all look different. idk how you cant be attracted to one race without knowing what the individual looks like first



yeah tbh I used to be a bit of an ass when it came to dating outside my race.

Long story short _things changed_


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## Rose (Dec 18, 2015)

lencurryboy said:


> yes it's transphobic af???
> 
> obviously you can't force anyone to date a trans person but i mean... if literally the only reason that you do not want to date them is thst they're trans then you're really transphobic.
> 
> like you know it's kind of like how some people don't want to date black people and stuff?? yeah they're racist!! and people who don't want to date trans people because they're trans are transphobic!!!!  wow


No. A gay man may have issues finding themselves attracted to a transman, for instance.

Does that mean that the transman is any less male? No. But you cannot blame someone if their orientation and someone else's physical sex aren't in alignment. This thread is about a possible lack of attraction, not acceptance, and that's something you can't control.


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## radical6 (Dec 18, 2015)

oath2order said:


> Well, for some people, sex is an important thing. For example, I like male parts. I don't think I could date a transman, due to the lack of parts that make sex enjoyable for me.


would you date a trans guy who got surgery then?






oath2order said:


> yeah tbh I used to be a bit of an ass when it came to dating outside my race.
> 
> Long story short _things changed_



wow im proud of you oath
was it c**ntown spilling into the rest of reddit
/r/news and /r/worldnews is like neo nazi central jesus christ


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## oath2order (Dec 18, 2015)

justice said:


> would you date a trans guy who got surgery then?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I mean basically if he had a peen or hell, just not a vagina, I'd be fine.

Yeah it would probably be that. jesus ****ing christ i wish they had kept c-town open so they wouldn't spread. Isolate the **** and all that.


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## espellium (Dec 18, 2015)

if you dont want to date someone just because theyre trans that can be really hurtful. its like saying you wouldnt date someone just because they have some other sort of medical condition. as long as its not a factor in who you date its okay but dont make it the main reason you wouldnt date somebody


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## Rose (Dec 19, 2015)

espellium said:


> if you dont want to date someone just because theyre trans that can be really hurtful. its like saying you wouldnt date someone just because they have some other sort of medical condition. as long as its not a factor in who you date its okay but dont make it the main reason you wouldnt date somebody


Again. This is about attraction. Not political correctness.


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## radioloves (Dec 19, 2015)

I don't think so, you don't have to date a lot of people and won't be considered a phobia


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## alphys (Dec 19, 2015)

it sort of depends. if you refuse to date them because being trans is "weird" or "gross", then yes, you're being transphobic. though, if the trans person in general is a bad person, you have every right to dislike them

~a trans person


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## fenris (Dec 19, 2015)

alphys said:


> it sort of depends. if you refuse to date them because being trans is "weird" or "gross", then yes, you're being transphobic. though, if the trans person in general is a bad person, you have every right to dislike them
> 
> ~a trans person



Also if you won't date a trans person because you consider them "not a real (x)," that's _super_ transphobic.

-another trans person


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## Dinosaurz (Dec 19, 2015)

lencurryboy said:


> yes it's transphobic af???
> 
> obviously you can't force anyone to date a trans person but i mean... if literally the only reason that you do not want to date them is thst they're trans then you're really transphobic.
> 
> like you know it's kind of like how some people don't want to date black people and stuff?? yeah they're racist!! and people who don't want to date trans people because they're trans are transphobic!!!!  wow


racist? No, it's not even sexist or whatever.
It's just wierd okay but I got nothing against trains people


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## alphys (Dec 19, 2015)

StarryWolf said:


> racist? No, it's not even sexist or whatever.
> *It's just wierd okay* but I got nothing against trains people


did you just really say the gender identities of many people are "weird"


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## contententity (Dec 19, 2015)

uhhh yes it's transphobic if you don't want to date a trans person
it's absurd to me how many ppl think it's not??


also, to the person who says not wanting to date a person of a certain race isn't racist...holy ****, surprise, _you're a ****ing racist._


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## skarmoury (Dec 19, 2015)

This topic's too complicated already.

Look, here's what's important: *Date whoever you want. Date whoever you feel comfortable with. Don't break it down to components; don't sort out who you like based on appearance, race, gender, etc.. Don't place standards, and don't put down anyone for anything, or any aspect. You just gotta have respect for each and every one.*


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## Dinosaurz (Dec 19, 2015)

alphys said:


> did you just really say the gender identities of many people are "weird"



Yeah to date someone who is trans where you are straight.
Not in that way, tbh it is wierd but is there anything that isn't wierd these days.


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## boujee (Dec 19, 2015)

Also remember that trans people have their own gender based sexual preferences.
Not to mention that your own insistence on calling everyone who doesn't want to sleep with you a transphobe makes you kinda sound creepy.

People have preferences, period.


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## The Hidden Owl (Dec 19, 2015)

No it's not. 

The thing I'm getting from the people saying yes to this question is that everyone has to be willing and ok with dating trans people otherwise they're transphobic. ???

It's a preference. 

Also, _news flash_, preferences aren't bad. *AT ALL*. Discrimination is. Just because someone prefers something else doesn't mean that they are racist or have a phobia.

I would think you were an idiot for slandering my food or clothing preferences, so why the heck would you slander me for who _I_ choose to have a relationship with? I'm not you and you don't have a right to decide or even categorize the way I think or live as being phobic.

As long as you respect everyone, then you're alright.


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## kayleee (Dec 19, 2015)

contententity said:


> uhhh yes it's transphobic if you don't want to date a trans person
> it's absurd to me how many ppl think it's not??
> 
> 
> also, to the person who says not wanting to date a person of a certain race isn't racist...holy ****, surprise, _you're a ****ing racist._



lmao I was waiting for this reply


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## Gregriii (Dec 19, 2015)

first of all isnt transphobia anger towards trans people?
so how does rejecting a trans makes you transphobic since you dont hate or feel fear?? You just wouldnt date a trans

like if you dont like brunettes you are brunettephobic


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## Brooke_the_Phoenix (Dec 19, 2015)

No, you are transphobic when you discriminate against transgender people, treat them badly, and try to take away their rights.  There is a difference between *transphobia* and *preferences*.  I personally don't have a "type", but if I realised one day that I'm not attracted to short guys that doesn't make me "heightphobic", it just means I'm not attracted to them.  You are under no obligation to date anyone you're not attracted to.


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## Tao (Dec 19, 2015)

contententity said:


> uhhh yes it's transphobic if you don't want to date a trans person
> it's absurd to me how many ppl think it's not??



What if somebody wants their own biological children in the future? Are they transphoic for taking that into consideration when they refuse to date a transgender person, or are they expected to drop all their own preferences so as not to offend somebody else?




contententity said:


> also, to the person who says not wanting to date a person of a certain race isn't racist...holy ****, surprise, _you're a ****ing racist._



How does it?

Different races and nationalities typically have different physical traits. If you don't find that attractive, it's as racist as saying you're not attracted to overweight, ginger or short people.




I guess you also think men who have no interest in dating another man are homophoic. It's along the same line of logic as your above statements...


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 19, 2015)

contententity said:


> uhhh yes it's transphobic if you don't want to date a trans person
> it's absurd to me how many ppl think it's not??
> 
> 
> also, to the person who says not wanting to date a person of a certain race isn't racist...holy ****, surprise, _you're a ****ing racist._



Well how? do they hate transgender people nope they are just not sexually attracted to them therefore they don't wanna date them? lol like what? this post made no sense what so ever tbh.


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## N e s s (Dec 19, 2015)

No, but i would be friends with them.

It sounds weird for me to be typing this, because i prefer someone who is a girl, not someone who looked like a boy at one time with boy parts...it sounds just, odd to me to say that to myself.


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## Mango (Dec 19, 2015)

StarryWolf said:


> No, not at all
> I wouldn't wanna date a man who used to be a woman but that doesn't make me transphobic.



the way you phrased that is transphobic, a trans man always has been a man. he was never a woman. referring to them as their birth gender is transphobic.

- - - Post Merge - - -

i see a lot of people here like "i'd prefer not to date someone with lady parts/male parts" and honestly? if you're just dating someone to bang them that's weird

however i'm a trans person hi and if you aren't going to date someone because they're trans that's kinda transphobic, however we all have preferences (i don't like cis men and most cis women) and i don't really? know why you wouldn't date a trans person? if you're only dating someone based on their sex that's ??? because most trans women aren't gonna want to penetrate you or anything, and most trans men feel uncomfortable having sex but

tldr, no, it's not really transphobic, but it's something you should maybe get over? trans people probably dont wanna date your gross cis ass anyway

- - - Post Merge - - -



Fantasyrick said:


> Well how? do they hate transgender people nope they are just not sexually attracted to them therefore they don't wanna date them? lol like what? this post made no sense what so ever tbh.



yeah but you're treating us as if we're a different species or something. 'sexual attraction to trans people' sounds ****ing weird


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## gem83 (Dec 19, 2015)

It does depend on a few things, but in general, I'd say no. (This is coming from a genderfluid person btw) It all just comes down to attraction. I mean, it'd probably hurt my feelings, yeah, but you can't date someone you're in no way attracted to.


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## Mango (Dec 19, 2015)

Tao said:


> What if somebody wants their own biological children in the future? Are they transphoic for taking that into consideration when they refuse to date a transgender person, or are they expected to drop all their own preferences so as not to offend somebody else?



oh my god??? if you're dating someone, trans or not, and your first thought is "do you have a vagina or ****? im gonna have biological kids when im older and we're still gonna be together so it's important" THATS CREEPY AS HELL


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## N e s s (Dec 19, 2015)

Mango said:


> the way you phrased that is transphobic, a trans man always has been a man. he was never a woman. referring to them as their birth gender is transphobic.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> ...



Well, its not body parts in general, its that they used to be (or atleast, appear to be) the opposite gender is a bit odd. Its not because i want to date someone different, its that they're not someone i'd be used to dating. (that sounds mean to say it, but...its just what i think.)


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## Mango (Dec 19, 2015)

StarryWolf said:


> No, not at all
> I wouldn't wanna date a man who used to be a woman but that doesn't make me transphobic.



also it literally makes you transphobic holy ****

- - - Post Merge - - -



N e s s said:


> Well, its not body parts in general, its that they used to be (or atleast, appear to be) the opposite gender is a bit odd. Its not because i want to date someone different, its that they're not someone i'd be used to dating. (that sounds mean to say it, but...its just what i think.)



you never say 'used to be' because that implies that they weren't always the gender they really are. trans men have always been men. trans women have always been women. 

there is no opposite gender friend


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## radical6 (Dec 19, 2015)

you know i always wonder about getting surgery but then i realize literally no one besides other trans ppl will date each other and its no wonder that every trans person i see that has a partner that both are trans. especially transfeminine people.

truth is, we will always be seen as other or disgusting fetishes no matter how much people try to support us. it always comes down to sex unfortunately, and even with surgery people don't want to accept it. ive seen trans girls (after surgery) tell their partner theyre trans, even after sex mind you, and suddenly they get killed. 

i dont really see why the idea that someone youre dating might have identified as another gender before. fine, i get if they haven't had surgery yet you don't want to have sex. but whats the excuse if they did get surgery? how are they any different? and many of them use hormones to make themselves look more feminine or masculine. most the times, people cant tell unless theyre told if the surgery is done right. 

ha, if i told anyone interested in me that i was trans they would run away. its a dirty label. why? i see no reason to not date a trans person who has gone through surgery. if you couldnt tell they were trans before, and then you were told and got disgusted, then maybe its not a preference after all.

as for babies - then you would also exclude anyone who couldnt have children, right? theres always adoption. i think its selfish to leave your partner because they cant give you something they want. couples who try so hard for children don't leave each other, do they?


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## N e s s (Dec 19, 2015)

Mango said:


> also it literally makes you transphobic holy ****
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> ...



Listen...i know you're frustrated about this thread and what most people have said in it, but please talk to me in a civil manner. I don't want to start a flamewar.


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## MasterM64 (Dec 19, 2015)

Mango said:


> the way you phrased that is transphobic, a trans man always has been a man. he was never a woman. referring to them as their birth gender is transphobic.



Biologically speaking, regardless of what their alleged gender is, they always will be their birth gender because their very own skeleton tells everyone what they formerly were. If you compare the skeletons of a male and female, you can see a difference since the female skeleton is designed for giving birth. 

Source: http://anthropology.si.edu/writteninbone/male_female.html

When it comes to this whole question of whether it is "transphobic" to reject the idea of dating anyone who is transexual, it really is not since who you date is personal preference.


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 19, 2015)

Mango said:


> the way you phrased that is transphobic, a trans man always has been a man. he was never a woman. referring to them as their birth gender is transphobic.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> ...



No im not lmao you think it's weird everyone has their preferences it's like a man not wanting to date a man therefore why would a man want to date a trans women? lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


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## kayleee (Dec 19, 2015)

Mango said:


> the way you phrased that is transphobic, a trans man always has been a man. he was never a woman. referring to them as their birth gender is transphobic.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> ...


First of all I think you need to chill and second, a transman was biologically a woman at one point and vica versa. That's just fact sorry to break it to you. 
You literally say you DONT LIKE cis men and women but yet a cis man/woman not being attracted to a transperson is transphobic ummmm okay 
but yeah you can't really speak for all couples and say sex isn't a super big part of a lot of peoples relationship sorry to break it to you


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## Mango (Dec 19, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> No im not lmao you think it's weird everyone has their preferences it's like a man not wanting to date a man therefore why would a man want to date a trans women? lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo



because if youre a straight man and youre attracted to woman you would date a woman? trans women are women


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## Mango (Dec 20, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> N e s s said:
> 
> 
> > stay out of it? thanks like pls stop trying to be the problem solver LMAO it's just sad
> ...


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> N e s s said:
> 
> 
> > stay out of it? thanks like pls stop trying to be the problem solver LMAO it's just sad
> ...


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## gem83 (Dec 20, 2015)

Mango is the same person who got the "Cisphobia" thread closed. Don't feed the troll, please. Ignore them and they'll go away.


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## oath2order (Dec 20, 2015)

Mango said:


> oh my god??? if you're dating someone, trans or not, and your first thought is "do you have a vagina or ****? im gonna have biological kids when im older and we're still gonna be together so it's important" THATS CREEPY AS HELL



It's the "older" line that really illuminates the position where you're coming from, completely ignoring the older people who date with the intention of having kids at some point.



Mango said:


> ive said this so many times but : if youre dating someone just for sex thats creepy as hell? and trans men probably dont wanna date your gross transphobic ass



...You clearly haven't heard of "friends with benefits", I take it? Casually dating without the intention of having a long-term relationship? This just in: Dating people just for sex and fun is very common these days.


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## Mango (Dec 20, 2015)

gem83 said:


> Mango is the same person who got the "Cisphobia" thread closed. Don't feed the troll, please. Ignore them and they'll go away.



im hungry feed me


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 20, 2015)

N e s s said:


> Fantasyrick said:
> 
> 
> > Question:How old are you?
> ...


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

gem83 said:


> Mango is the same person who got the "Cisphobia" thread closed. Don't feed the troll, please. Ignore them and they'll go away.



He's not feeding the troll, they're just frustrated.

Just everybody calm down, this thread is going to get closed.

Mango, don't reply to any anymore. I see you're frustrated, but you don't need to be a jerk to people back. Even if you feel like they're wrong, people are just going to be people.


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## MasterM64 (Dec 20, 2015)

Mango said:


> lmao no, i'm a boy, my skeleton will be a boy because i'm a boy. you're transphobic pal!



You are assuming and you know what you are doing when you do that right? When it comes to dating someone, I'm looking for personality above anything else. If I'm dating someone and I suddenly find out that they are trans because they feel comfortable sharing such knowledge, I would never ever dump someone over that reason. True love is unconditional and anyone who dumps/divorces someone over irrational reasons does not know what love actually is (cheating and a few other things are justifiable grounds to divorce/dump).


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## Twisterheart (Dec 20, 2015)

I don't think it's transphobic at all. Everyone has preferences, and whenever you start a serious relationship you have to consider the fact that you could end up marrying the person you're with one day. It wouldn't be fair for either person to get that far in a relationship, if they weren't attracted to each other or the idea of one day having intimate relations with them. That kind of relationship would be damaging to both people and it would just end badly. It's like saying a straight person is homophobic for not wanting to date a person of the same sex, or saying a gay man is sexist for not wanting to date a woman. It's a preference.


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> N e s s said:
> 
> 
> > Im 13 and you're the one to talk? you got grounded for raging at smash bruh make sure you can back you're self up before saying sht
> ...


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## Mango (Dec 20, 2015)

oath2order said:


> It's the "older" line that really illuminates the position where you're coming from, completely ignoring the older people who date with the intention of having kids at some point.
> 
> 
> 
> ...You clearly haven't heard of "friends with benefits", I take it? Casually dating without the intention of having a long-term relationship? This just in: Dating people just for sex and fun is very common these days.



if you intend on having kids at some point you don't have to make it obvious to the trans person that you're never gonna be able to have kids because they dont have the proper sex to is really rude

i


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 20, 2015)

N e s s said:


> Fantasyrick said:
> 
> 
> > I'm reporting you, 13 or not i'm acting hell of allot more mature then you can EVER be right now.
> ...


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## Mango (Dec 20, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> N e s s said:
> 
> 
> > Sure...Trying to be fake and trying to be the problem solver to get attention sure that's mature lol
> ...


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 20, 2015)

Mango said:


> Fantasyrick said:
> 
> 
> > are you 10 because you're acting like it
> ...


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## Mango (Dec 20, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> No im 13 don't get it twisted.



are you sure


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## oath2order (Dec 20, 2015)

Mango said:


> if you intend on having kids at some point you don't have to make it obvious to the trans person that you're never gonna be able to have kids because they dont have the proper sex to is really rude
> 
> i



Maybe it's just the way I see things, idk, I just like to be upfront about things. Like, if you were older, it would probably be brought up early on in the relationship


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## gem83 (Dec 20, 2015)

Sigh. No one can have a civil conversation on the internet.


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

> Sure...Trying to be fake and trying to be the problem solver to get attention sure that's mature lol



Yeah, i tried solving the problem.* You just continued it because your mad and feel like your opinion is right, and decide to talk trash about other people? *sure.

I reported this thread and its being closed. This thread is full of way to much negativity and would be better off just gone.


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## The Hidden Owl (Dec 20, 2015)

Guys really.

If your post does bo contribute to the discussion in a positive light then please do not post.

Mango you literally called cis people icky. Thats not a preference, thats being downright rude. No one so far has degraded trans people by verbally insulting them so please don't start.


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 20, 2015)

Mango said:


> are you sure



Im pretty sure lol


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

gem83 said:


> Sigh. No one can have a civil conversation on the internet.



I would second that, even a happy-go-lucky animal crossing forums has it.


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## gem83 (Dec 20, 2015)

N e s s said:


> Yeah, i tried solving the problem.* You just continued it because your mad and feel like your opinion is right, and decide to talk trash about other people? *sure.
> 
> I reported this thread and its being closed. This thread is full of way to much negativity and would be better off just gone.



You, Mango, and FantasyRick are the only ones spewing negativity. Stop white-knighting, seriously.


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 20, 2015)

N e s s said:


> Yeah, i tried solving the problem.* You just continued it because your mad and feel like your opinion is right, and decide to talk trash about other people? *sure.
> 
> I reported this thread and its being closed. This thread is full of way to much negativity and would be better off just gone.



No it annyos me how you're trying to solve it just STAY OUT YOU ARE NOT NEEDED WHAT SO EVER SMH


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

gem83 said:


> You, Mango, and FantasyRick are the only ones spewing negativity. Stop white-knighting, seriously.



Alright, i'll stop. Guess i got a bit too into the internet myself :l

- - - Post Merge - - -



Fantasyrick said:


> No it annyos me how you're trying to solve it just STAY OUT YOU ARE NOT NEEDED WHAT SO EVER SMH



*you did it again.

I'm just going to stop. I'm not going to get anything across to you anyway.


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 20, 2015)

N e s s said:


> Alright, i'll stop. Guess i got a bit too into the internet myself :l
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> ...



That's great news x)


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> That's great news x)



Yes it is


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## gem83 (Dec 20, 2015)

Fantasyrick said:


> That's great news x)



Don't agitate, dude.

Now can we please get back on topic?


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## Fantasyrick (Dec 20, 2015)

gem83 said:


> Don't agitate, dude.
> 
> Now can we please get back on topic?



i just said that's great news not trying to agitate smh


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

gem83 said:


> Don't agitate, dude.
> 
> Now can we please get back on topic?



What are your opinions on the subject?


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## fenris (Dec 20, 2015)

oath2order said:


> Maybe it's just the way I see things, idk, I just like to be upfront about things. Like, if you were older, it would probably be brought up early on in the relationship



The thing is, it's not always safe for trans people to be up front.  If we come out to the wrong person, it could get us killed.  We have to get to know people and carefully decide who to come out to... and even then, it can be kind of a crapshoot.

I'm really lucky that my fianc? has been so supportive of me.  With a lot of people, I probably would've gotten dumped at best.


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## N e s s (Dec 20, 2015)

fenris said:


> The thing is, it's not always safe for trans people to be up front.  If we come out to the wrong person, it could get us killed.  We have to get to know people and carefully decide who to come out to... and even then, it can be kind of a crapshoot.
> 
> I'm really lucky that my fianc? has been so supportive of me.  With a lot of people, I probably would've gotten dumped at best.



Congratulations on your marriage


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## Beardo (Dec 20, 2015)

Just gonna quickly share a few thoughts,

Calling cis people gross, or "icky", is just as bad as a cis person calling trans people gross. I don't care how oppressed you are, double standards shouldn't fly. It doesn't help anything when someone who was originally put down starts putting others down. How often does "revenge" help a situation?


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## Tao (Dec 20, 2015)

Mango said:


> oh my god??? if you're dating someone, trans or not, and your first thought is "do you have a vagina or ****? im gonna have biological kids when im older and we're still gonna be together so it's important" THATS CREEPY AS HELL



Taking my words > Putting them in a bias context.


I'm sure a lot of people have an idea of whether or not they want children and if they want biological, adopted, whatever. Some people definitely do want them, some definitely don't, others don't really know what they want. I would go in the latter, so thanks for insinuating I'm "creepy as hell" despite having no preferences.


Anyway, how would it be transphobic to not have a relationship with someody if you know you want kids in the future and the person can't give you that? It's not like you're gonna meet somebody and start pumping out children straight away and it's not going to be a conversation starter on a first date, but not having the ability to do so is a deal breaker for some because it can be a big deal.





justice said:


> as for babies - then you would also exclude anyone who couldnt have children, right? theres always adoption. i think its selfish to leave your partner because they cant give you something they want. couples who try so hard for children don't leave each other, do they?




True. Depends on the people and situation though.

If you're with somebody for x amount of years and you're trying for a kid, only to find out one of you can't have them, you're already committed and it's something neither of you knew about going into the relationship. You're probably more willing to compromise at that point.

Somebody who knowingly can't have kids before a relationship though for whatever reason would be a bit different. If this metaphorical person wanted kids and I assume has their heart set on biological, why start a relationship with somebody who you know from the start can't give you that?


Again, I'll point out, these aren't my preferences, but people who have them aren't wrong for doing so.


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## MasterM64 (Dec 20, 2015)

fenris said:


> The thing is, it's not always safe for trans people to be up front.  If we come out to the wrong person, it could get us killed.  We have to get to know people and carefully decide who to come out to... and even then, it can be kind of a crapshoot.
> 
> I'm really lucky that my fianc? has been so supportive of me.  With a lot of people, I probably would've gotten dumped at best.



This is exactly why my position on this matter is that it is purely preference and that I would never dump anyone who turned out to be trans because they were comfortable with me knowing. I am truly glad to hear that you have a spouse that loves you unconditionally, it's unfortunately a rarity these days.


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## Izzy Reincarnated (Dec 20, 2015)

wow this thread is so lively

and idrc people are too sensitive about everything


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