# Mental Illness Thread



## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

Srry if this thread aint allowed. im just.. genuinely curious. delete if needed.

I'll start but I wont say much about mine, but i was diagnosed with ADHD, generalised anxiety, depression, and BPD (which is, imo, ****ing horrible). and no, it's not bipolar disorder -.-

Eh.. come here if you need some advice, validation or to vent.. or just to talk about it or smth. 

NDs also welcome~

Self-dx'd = OK!! all of you are valid


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## Licorice (Jul 19, 2016)

I'm diagnosed with ADD and OCD. People act like mental illnesses are cool now and they tack on all kinds of illnesses like its a competition to see who has the most. If you aren't diagnosed then they shouldn't count. Go see a doctor.


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## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

Licorice said:


> I'm diagnosed with ADD and OCD. People act like mental illnesses are cool now and they tack on all kinds of illnesses like its a competition to see who has the most. If you aren't diagnosed then they shouldn't count. Go see a doctor.



if someone feels they should be diagnosed with something, it isn't right for us to say otherwise but if someone makes it a competition, that shouldnt count... not everyone who wasnt diagnosed fakes it, yknow.


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## Sanaki (Jul 19, 2016)

I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and BPD. I can agree with you that it's terrible, it's like feeling like you're prisoner to your own mind. mind always lies to you and I just feel trapped. it's really hard everyday to live with BPD and it's so hard to have stable relationships, sometimes it's just too much and you use coping methods that are not safe to deal with it. I'm nearly 20 so I'm pretty fed up with how it makes me think. Sometimes I wonder if my own friends are against me and I have to talk to myself sometimes to remind that it's just my brain lying to me, it's an endless cycle. It's hard to even be by yourself, it makes you depend on others sometimes and I've only recently gotten better with being alone. My dad was supposed to take me back to therapy to get some more medication but he disappeared. I feel like I'm wasting years of my life, and I always wondered how a brain without BPD functioned.


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## visibleghost (Jul 19, 2016)

i'm mentally ill af l m a o that's fun

neurodivergences aren't the same as mental illnesses, but if you're going to include those i can say that i'm autistic. (atypical autism to be exact but Yeah i'm autistic af basically)

i've got anxiety (general anxiety and social anxiety), depression, dpdr and a bunch of stuff that may or may not be related to those things idk tbh. 
but yeah being mentally ill is Great it impacts every part of my life and everything is Suffering but Yeah That's Cool.

i'm on depression meds and anxiety meds but they don't work at all (or well, the anxiety meds did somethinh, they made me into an actual zombie and it made me so tired that i couldn't stay awake. now i'm on a much lower dose that doesn't mess with me Aaas much so yay i guess (5mg/day compared to 50 mg or 25 mg when needed))


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## Sanaki (Jul 19, 2016)

visibleghost said:


> i'm mentally ill af l m a o that's fun
> 
> neurodivergences aren't the same as mental illnesses, but if you're going to include those i can say that i'm autistic. (atypical autism to be exact but Yeah i'm autistic af basically)
> 
> ...



Social anxiety is such a hassle.. I didn't really include it in my post because I've grown away from it more, I'm left with being socially awkward from not being exposed to having real friends, I'm just terrible at talking to people or about things when I get nervous.

but I feel you on the impacting everything you do everyday. :/


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## Buttonsy (Jul 19, 2016)

The only thing I've got a professional diagnosis for is my Autism, which isn't a mental illness but it's still being neurodivergent so. and while I believe self-dxing is valid I also have way too much brain fog to do it right now, but my life WAY too closely matches the diagnostic checklists for so so so many things for me to be mentally healthy (that, along with the fact that I'm legitimately just sad or scared almost all the time haha) Like I still don't really know exactly what I've got but I know that I'm not healthy, I pretty much match word-for-word a large portion of the diagnostic checklists for BPD and Pure-O OCD, I'm dissociative as heck, I've got pretty bad eating issues (I'm like 99% sure that if I don't have binge eating disorder that I've got food addiction), I'm depressed and anxious and paranoid constantly, it's... a lot aaa


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## LadyAsuna (Jul 19, 2016)

I have some anxiety issues and also some ocd/intrusive thoughts kind of thing. :<


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## maplecheek (Jul 19, 2016)

(Deleted)


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## Sanaki (Jul 19, 2016)

I find that music helps, but sometimes I just listen to sad music on purpose because it helps me deal with the feelings and put it into words. Usually just walk and play Pokemon Go now though


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## Llust (Jul 19, 2016)

nothing necessarily works so i resorted to just ignoring any sadness that i should feel. this results in break downs once a week or so, but i mean its better than being constantly depressed. i dont recommend doing this at all, but its just my preferred way of coping


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## visibleghost (Jul 19, 2016)

also lol forgot but i might have ptsd, not certain because i haven't talked lots about it with my therapist and a lot of the diagnostic critera overlaps with the ones for depression and anxiety so uh idk i'll have to talk about it with my therapist, maybe getting an official dx isn't rly super important lmao..,..

but tbh even with "not that many" mental illnesses you can get a Ton of problems with it(unhealthy copig methods, social problems, feeling like crap, anxiety etc) like, for me, it impacts everything i do all the time and it has been this way for years, even when i was more mentally healthy than now.


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## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

Elin said:


> I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and BPD. I can agree with you that it's terrible, it's like feeling like you're prisoner to your own mind. mind always lies to you and I just feel trapped. it's really hard everyday to live with BPD and it's so hard to have stable relationships, sometimes it's just too much and you use coping methods that are not safe to deal with it. I'm nearly 20 so I'm pretty fed up with how it makes me think. Sometimes I wonder if my own friends are against me and I have to talk to myself sometimes to remind that it's just my brain lying to me, it's an endless cycle. It's hard to even be by yourself, it makes you depend on others sometimes and I've only recently gotten better with being alone. My dad was supposed to take me back to therapy to get some more medication but he disappeared. I feel like I'm wasting years of my life, and I always wondered how a brain without BPD functioned.



O god ik how you feel. BPD is exactly like that, and personally for me being high-functioning, it is SO HARD to not feel irrationional bUT! i just cant help it ;-; splitting on someone is the worst part bc when i split on my fp for no ****ing reason whatsoever, i see them get hurt but only bc of how irrational i am acting but gfdi i dont want them to go away even though i hate them so mu h at that very moment jfc i just wish they wiuld idk, understand us more bC TBH I AM so sick and tired of having unstable relationships and cutting off ppl when they dont deserve it i am such a ****up i swear to god

srry for the random rant/vent dear, just had to let it out. im glad there is someone here who can relate.. i guess it's all right being alone if that's what makes you get better.. i only realised that recently. and i try not to get a Favourite Person bc tht makes it like 10x worse

tbh? i also dont want to rely too much on therapy and meds. last time i took meds for adhd was uh.. 3months ago and i am ok without it..


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## Sanaki (Jul 19, 2016)

Ragdoll said:


> O god ik how you feel. BPD is exactly like that, and personally for me being high-functioning, it is SO HARD to not feel irrationional bUT! i just cant help it ;-; splitting on someone is the worst part bc when i split on my fp for no ****ing reason whatsoever, i see them get hurt but only bc of how irrational i am acting but gfdi i dont want them to go away even though i hate them so mu h at that very moment jfc i just wish they wiuld idk, understand us more bC TBH I AM so sick and tired of having unstable relationships and cutting off ppl when they dont deserve it i am such a ****up i swear to god
> 
> srry for the random rant/vent dear, just had to let it out. im glad there is someone here who can relate.. i guess it's all right being alone if that's what makes you get better.. i only realised that recently. and i try not to get a Favourite Person bc tht makes it like 10x worse
> 
> tbh? i also dont want to rely too much on therapy and meds. last time i took meds for adhd was uh.. 3months ago and i am ok without it..



don't apologize, it's good to see that someone else understands. it's really hard to have friends because I always have random fits of anger once we play games together and if I die or something or something happens, I get pissed and will take it out on them. I was playing league one night and just ugh, I feel like my friends don't get together anymore because of my temper. I always left every night apologizing to someone, and it just wasn't a good feeling. all my friends eventually getting cut off because of arguments and new ones come, then the same happens to them. At least my friends understand what my issue is but I still never want them to have to deal with my problems and shifting moods. I go from 100-0 and 0-100 really quickly, unpredictably.


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## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

visibleghost said:


> i'm mentally ill af l m a o that's fun
> 
> neurodivergences aren't the same as mental illnesses, but if you're going to include those i can say that i'm autistic. (atypical autism to be exact but Yeah i'm autistic af basically)
> 
> ...





visibleghost said:


> also lol forgot but i might have ptsd, not certain because i haven't talked lots about it with my therapist and a lot of the diagnostic critera overlaps with the ones for depression and anxiety so uh idk i'll have to talk about it with my therapist, maybe getting an official dx isn't rly super important lmao..,..
> 
> but tbh even with "not that many" mental illnesses you can get a Ton of problems with it(unhealthy copig methods, social problems, feeling like crap, anxiety etc) like, for me, it impacts everything i do all the time and it has been this way for years, even when i was more mentally healthy than now.



ah, yes NDs also welcome. 
gdi those depression 'happy' pills dont do **** for me lmao and!!!! anxiety!! pills!! are!!! too!! reactive(???????)!!! I was originally 105lbs andwent down to mid-90s-100lbs and i basically looked like... a skeleton lol just in time for halloween XD so i stopped taking them too besides ritalin. 
i wish u more cheery days, ghostie ;a;


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## visibleghost (Jul 19, 2016)

Ragdoll said:


> ah, yes NDs also welcome.
> gdi those depression 'happy' pills dont do **** for me lmao and!!!! anxiety!! pills!! are!!! too!! reactive(???????)!!! I was originally 105lbs andwent down to mid-90s-100lbs and i basically looked like... a skeleton lol just in time for halloween XD so i stopped taking them too besides ritalin.
> i wish u more cheery days, ghostie ;a;



yeah meds just arent... the best... or, i mean, they can probably be great for some people, but it sucks when they don't work and you get weird side effects.
and thanks, wish u the same !! ;w;


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## Sanaki (Jul 19, 2016)

Meds drove me crazy. I used Adderall for a while and I became addicted to it. I liked it because it made me feel numb and I lost weight.. abused it for a long time and was severely underweight. Didn't see it because I was obsessed with my weight. After I stopped using Adderall I felt like a breathing human again lmao


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## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

Buttonsy said:


> The only thing I've got a professional diagnosis for is my Autism, which isn't a mental illness but it's still being neurodivergent so. and while I believe self-dxing is valid I also have way too much brain fog to do it right now, but my life WAY too closely matches the diagnostic checklists for so so so many things for me to be mentally healthy (that, along with the fact that I'm legitimately just sad or scared almost all the time haha) Like I still don't really know exactly what I've got but I know that I'm not healthy, I pretty much match word-for-word a large portion of the diagnostic checklists for BPD and Pure-O OCD, I'm dissociative as heck, I've got pretty bad eating issues (I'm like 99% sure that if I don't have binge eating disorder that I've got food addiction), I'm depressed and anxious and paranoid constantly, it's... a lot aaa



self-dx can be confusing but can give you some reasons/explanations .. no matter how much u think u have tho, u are completely valid, my friend <3
and dissociative oh my loRD i dissociate sometimes but not excessively.. i think i see different colours when dissociating, anyone have an idea if thts normal lol


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## Sanaki (Jul 19, 2016)

it's also kinda funny your name is Ragdoll, it's how I felt on that medication lmao


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## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

Elin said:


> Meds drove me crazy. I used Adderall for a while and I became addicted to it. I liked it because it made me feel numb and I lost weight.. abused it for a long time and was severely underweight. Didn't see it because I was obsessed with my weight. After I stopped using Adderall I felt like a breathing human again lmao



yeah this lmao
big nono for these meds too bc they make me feel high hahahh 
glad to see u breathing elin XD


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## visibleghost (Jul 19, 2016)

Ragdoll said:


> self-dx can be confusing but can give you some reasons/explanations .. no matter how much u think u have tho, u are completely valid, my friend <3
> and dissociative oh my loRD i dissociate sometimes but not excessively.. i think i see different colours when dissociating, anyone have an idea if thts normal lol



i have an dissociative disorder which basically means i dissociate pretty mch All The Time and yee i think it's normal? i don't personally experience that, but i know that your sight can get weird when dissociating ("tunnel vision", blurry etc).

and a question for you wo dissociate: how do you feel about grounding? my therapist wanted me to try some groubding techniques over the summer to see what works, but honestly i never really get properly grounded and it just feels worse. like, some of the feeling that my body isn't real disappears, but the "lol nothing is real and i don't exist"-feeling just gets stronger which isn't very nice like.., at all.,,.


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## Sanaki (Jul 19, 2016)

Ragdoll said:


> yeah this lmao
> big nono for these meds too bc they make me feel high hahahh
> glad to see u breathing elin XD



i use caffeine for a piece of the same effect.


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## Corrie (Jul 19, 2016)

I haven't gotten professionally diagnosed but often I feel like people are just being nice to me to be nice. That they don't actually like  me. I get that feeling with my college friends and my boyfriend's sisters and I hate it. It gets to the point where my mind convinces me and I need to seek out a real life piece of evidence to prove it isn't true. I also end up avoiding conversation with them to avoid the embarrassment of them pitying me. 

Not sure if this is a symptom of something or not.


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## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

visibleghost said:


> i have an dissociative disorder which basically means i dissociate pretty mch All The Time and yee i think it's normal? i don't personally experience that, but i know that your sight can get weird when dissociating ("tunnel vision", blurry etc).
> 
> and a question for you wo dissociate: how do you feel about grounding? my therapist wanted me to try some groubding techniques over the summer to see what works, but honestly i never really get properly grounded and it just feels worse. like, some of the feeling that my body isn't real disappears, but the "lol nothing is real and i don't exist"-feeling just gets stronger which isn't very nice like.., at all.,,.



hm.. ive been told of grounding techniques before, it's basically like you're trying to get your brain to realise and focus on your surroundings. I sometimes do them when i am experiencing severe anxiety in public but most of the time i forget.. not too sure how its supposed to work when dissociating, but most likely its the same concept. Im quite sure it works for me.. personally.. with practice.. it may sound absurd, but my therapist once told me to imagine that i am a tree, like roots planted in the earth and whole body breathes rather than just my lungs.
maybe all you need is practice? try practicing with your therapist or family.. ik it can be hard to do alone so maybe if you train your mind to focus, you'll be able to do it on your own..


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## Gregriii (Jul 19, 2016)

ADHD and autism spectrum 

 thanks to those "problems" I'll be 4ever alone 

I guess idc


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## visibleghost (Jul 19, 2016)

Ragdoll said:


> hm.. ive been told of grounding techniques before, it's basically like you're trying to get your brain to realise and focus on your surroundings. I sometimes do them when i am experiencing severe anxiety in public but most of the time i forget.. not too sure how its supposed to work when dissociating, but most likely its the same concept. Im quite sure it works for me.. personally.. with practice.. it may sound absurd, but my therapist once told me to imagine that i am a tree, like roots planted in the earth and whole body breathes rather than just my lungs.
> maybe all you need is practice? try practicing with your therapist or family.. ik it can be hard to do alone so maybe if you train your mind to focus, you'll be able to do it on your own..



yeah idk. maybe you're right, i'll have to try it a bit more haha


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## nerdatheart9490 (Jul 19, 2016)

I have anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and PMDD. In high school and towards the end of college, I nearly lost my battle to depression. Now I am 22. I recently graduated university, got a job I love, and I have a boyfriend who helps me so much, and who I love dearly.

To all you who still struggle, remember that no matter how dark it may seem, it WILL get better. Just keep living. Seek help, and keep living. For me, therapy and prozac helped me. Finding someone to talk to was the best thing ever. After a lifetime of not being able to discuss what's on my mind, talking was amazing. Also, writing things down in a private journal or blog (public or private) will help you see and organize your thoughts.


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## Ragdoll (Jul 19, 2016)

visibleghost said:


> yeah idk. maybe you're right, i'll have to try it a bit more haha



u can do it, u visible ghost, u ~<3


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## ams (Jul 19, 2016)

OP I'm actually really curious about your feelings towards your BPD diagnosis. I've found in my experiences in school that patients diagnosed with personality disorders aren't often told about the diagnosis. I've also seen them really over-diagnosed which I think is unfortunate. If you're more comfortable talking by pm feel free!

Edit: Also I have MDD but it's very well controlled now with medication 

- - - Post Merge - - -



Corrie said:


> I haven't gotten professionally diagnosed but often I feel like people are just being nice to me to be nice. That they don't actually like  me. I get that feeling with my college friends and my boyfriend's sisters and I hate it. It gets to the point where my mind convinces me and I need to seek out a real life piece of evidence to prove it isn't true. I also end up avoiding conversation with them to avoid the embarrassment of them pitying me.
> 
> Not sure if this is a symptom of something or not.



I wouldn't say that's necessarily a symptom of anything but what you're describing is one of the thought patterns that's commonly treated with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. If you're not seeing a therapist at all it could be really helpful to learn skills to stop those patterns of thinking!


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## Fleshy (Jul 19, 2016)

I have bpd & bipolar 1, it's not a good combination. I also have a lot of anxiety problems & flashbacks/trauma stuff but bpd & bipolar are diagnosed. It's really not a good combination. I was given medication for major depression years ago, and that spiralled me into a really intense/psychotic manic phase, I won't go into my mania because it's honestly horrible and terrifying, I recently found a notebook thing from when I was manic a while back and let's just say... yeah... super delusional and psycothic, honestly. It's scary, literally having 0 concept of reality mixed with delusions, hallucinations and paranoid thoughts is the worst. After that happening they realised I had bipolar and not unipolar depression. I've had a whole lot of issues since I was really really young, it gets hard and stuff but yeah, I'm in a pretty bad depressive phase at the momment but I'm used to it.

- - - Post Merge - - -



visibleghost said:


> and a question for you wo dissociate: how do you feel about grounding? my therapist wanted me to try some groubding techniques over the summer to see what works, but honestly i never really get properly grounded and it just feels worse. like, some of the feeling that my body isn't real disappears, but the "lol nothing is real and i don't exist"-feeling just gets stronger which isn't very nice like.., at all.,,.



yeah I feel the exact same actually, I don't like it. I guess it works for some people and not others but I'm not trying it again because nothing seems to work and I just end up stressed af after it all and its not worth it to me, i just suffer through it instead, lmao. I hope you find something that works for you though!!


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## Aleigh (Jul 19, 2016)

So far I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression (which is followed by suicidal tendincies), ocd, paranoia, and mild anorexia. I think I have slight insomnia (it hasn't been diagnosed but it does run in the family). I take medication for my anxiety and depression, but never been hospitalized for anything related to the matter.


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## Momo15 (Jul 19, 2016)

So for about a month, though I haven't been diagnosed, I had some form of psychosis. It was during a time in high school when I had a severe lack of sleep, since I had a lot of homework and I had super-confusing teachers who were picky at the same time, thus almost failing their classes. I had severe hallucinations, from seeing things that weren't their to constantly hearing someone calling out my name or for someone else, even though nobody said anything. It was already bad enough I was diagnosed with ADD. It went away when I finally started sleeping right (When I started getting less homework), which is good since a website said that if it lasted more than 6 months, it would be full on schizophrenia.


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## vel (Jul 19, 2016)

anxiety is the only thing i have. a lot of people i know have anxiety as well, so idk i just talk to them about it to cope. it doesn't affect me too much, i got used to it.


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## MayorJudyOfZootopia (Jul 19, 2016)

i have ADHD and aspergers


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## Aquari (Jul 19, 2016)

i have very bad depression/anxiety and listening to jpop, and browsing tbt helps with that a bit <3


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## Rizies (Jul 19, 2016)

I've been diagnosed with severe depression an consequently anxiety decided to come with it.  Since my diagnosis, I've gone through counseling, and I am currently on 50 mg of pristiq as well as ativan.  I have also started exercising more, watching what I eat, and sleeping.

Thankfully those changes have been working for me.  I get to see my doctor again in September and hopefully I can start weening off of my medication.


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## Liamslash (Jul 20, 2016)

ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Tourettes (I don't know if it counts) and depression.
I also have pretty bad sleeping issues but I really don't want to take anymore meds because I'm done with the amount of meds I need. I had them changed recently and I've been feeling drowsy and I hate it.


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## Fantasyrick (Jul 20, 2016)

I have ADHD.


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## ApolloJusticeAC (Jul 20, 2016)

depression sucks. especially at this age.


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## drowningfairies (Jul 20, 2016)

I have been diagnosed with severe depression, along with anxiety. I don't really talk about it much,  due to it makes me feel like people will automatically judge me.

It started at 13, after being released from being hospitalized in Le Bohneur. Since 2, I've had Nephrotic Syndrome. I took prednisone for years, along with a transplant medicine. My case is pretty bad, even though I've never had a kidney transplant.

At 15, I was put in a mental institution for my depression. I tried to kill myself. 
It went on for months. I battled with myself for a long time after getting taken off my medicine.
I self harmed up until 17, and it started around 14. I have a thing about crying for small things, and it still gets to me. 
I slept for days on end, and it basically took a toll on my health. I took Zoloft for it.

Meh.. Sorry if this post is all over the place.

I'm here for anyone who ever needs help. <3


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## radical6 (Jul 20, 2016)

i think ever since i moved somewhere new ive done a lot better mentally, im no longer as suicidal anymore. and believe me, i used to be attemping suicide at least twice a month, now i actually want to live.


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## Hulaette (Jul 20, 2016)

I suffer from MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) or as it's now called DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) I sometimes get extremely emotional for no apparent reason. The feelings I experience is paranoia, fear, anger, sadness, or frusteration. But it feels like all of those emotions roll up in a ball together and happen all at once! There are lots of good emotions I've experienced too. Like sometimes I would get overly happy or excited for a while.


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## boujee (Jul 20, 2016)

kallie said:


> i think ever since i moved somewhere new ive done a lot better mentally, im no longer as suicidal anymore. and believe me, i used to be attemping suicide at least twice a month, now i actually want to live.




Glad you're improving &#55357;&#56397;&#55356;&#57340;


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## Ghost Soda (Jul 20, 2016)

i have adhd, ocd and some kinda anxiety disorder. fun times.


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## namiieco (Jul 20, 2016)

depression & anxiety


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## Amilee (Jul 20, 2016)

im diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. im on depression medication that kinda works i guess?? im not really sure xD 
and i have anxiety medication for really bad days (and i use them for oral exams because HELLO NIGHTMARE?!) 
having mental illness is really a living hell because no body understands you (or atleast the people im around) and everyone just thinks you are lazy because in my case i just cant get out of my bed sometimes and i cant even really describe why i just CANT. 
its just really... not great... ugh
edit: oh and i was inpatient for 2months because i couldnt go to school anymore but not sure if it helped a lot


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## Kaiserin (Jul 20, 2016)

I am diagnosed with ADHD, depression and Short-term memory.
I just cope by listening to music that explains about my feelings.


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## Akira-chan (Jul 20, 2016)

I have ADHD and pretty sure i have some type of depression?i dunno i just feel empty at times and feel like lying down on a road but whatever. People think ADHD is all fun and giggles cause "look!i 'm so hyper and wacky!" I just wanna be normal. I just wanna pay attention be whatever my brain wants to do whatever its fine idc if i act on impulse so who cares if it hurts other do without thinking.

not doing well these past few days


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## namiieco (Jul 20, 2016)

Akira-chan said:


> I have ADHD and pretty sure i have some type of depression?i dunno i just feel empty at times and feel like lying down on a road but whatever. People think ADHD is all fun and giggles cause "look!i 'm so hyper and wacky!" I just wanna be normal. I just wanna pay attention be whatever my brain wants to do whatever its fine idc if i act on impulse so who cares if it hurts other do without thinking.
> 
> not doing well these past few days


I hope things get better for you soon!


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## Meligion (Jul 20, 2016)

I have psychotic depression crippling anxiety I'm anorexic and have gender and body dysmorphia I also have social anxiety and some undiagnosed symptoms and **** fr life is hard I wish I could go to the world of the witches I'm also bipolar and have did and my mom won't even take me to the doctor anymore or get medication cause it's just a ****ing phase


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## Fleshy (Jul 20, 2016)

///


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## xara (Jul 23, 2016)

I'm not gonna go into it that much, but I've been diagnosed with general anxiety, social anxiety and depression 

My doctor thought I had ADHD too, when I told him I wasn't really able to focus on my school work...but then again, I think it'd be hard for anyone to focus on something that they can't understand


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## visibleghost (Jul 23, 2016)

heartbreaker said:


> I'm not gonna go into it that much, but I've been diagnosed with general anxiety, social anxiety and depression
> 
> My doctor thought I had ADHD too, when I told him I wasn't really able to focus on my school work...but then again, I think it'd be hard for anyone to focus on something that they can't understand



my therapist has told me that anxiety and depression can make it harder to focus too, so that could be a reason too? :0


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## pinkfawn (Jul 23, 2016)

I have PTSD and OCD (trichotillomania) which is blahh (and they're unrelated to each other) but I finally was able to apply for disability at work. It's retail so they don't give me really anything except for an extra break during the day and I get to have time off whenever I need it. I felt almost scummy when I applied for it, I always feel weird talking about myself in this sort of way LOL


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## moonford (Jul 23, 2016)

Actually, yeah I'm not sharing this.


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## Xerolin (Jul 23, 2016)

All undiagnosed, but most symptoms are there.
ADHD, BPD, Depression
My dad doesn't believe in mental illnesses so I can't got them diagnosed


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## visibleghost (Jul 23, 2016)

Xerolin said:


> All undiagnosed, but most symptoms are there.
> ADHD, BPD, Depression
> My dad doesn't believe in mental illnesses so I can't got them diagnosed



your dad seems rly ):<<
when school starts, do you have anyone at your school (like a nurse or even just a nice teacher) that you could talk to there or something? if you think you have these things it's kinda rly important to get treatment and help, and getting support from an adult could maybe make your dad get you to some sort of professional? 
(if you cant get counseling @ school that is, idk some schools have that anx it could be kept secret from ur dad)


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## Xerolin (Jul 23, 2016)

visibleghost said:


> your dad seems rly ):<<
> when school starts, do you have anyone at your school (like a nurse or even just a nice teacher) that you could talk to there or something? if you think you have these things it's kinda rly important to get treatment and help, and getting support from an adult could maybe make your dad get you to some sort of professional?
> (if you cant get counseling @ school that is, idk some schools have that anx it could be kept secret from ur dad)



yeah ive been planning on talking to a conceller or teacher when the school year starts, I've never really had anyone to talk to irl about it. Like my dad, he thinks I'm waaay different than I really am. Euugghh


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## Koden (Jul 23, 2016)

diagnosed with the usual, depression and whatnot


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## vogelbiene (Jul 23, 2016)

I've been diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety for about five/six years now. I do admit, I am getting a lot better with coping with them, but I suppose that's what an increase in medication does. I don't really like opening up to people because of the whole 'attention whore' stereotype that goes with doing so in my previous group of friends. Does anyone else feel that way as well? But, on the flip side, if I don't open up to people, they can and will talk about insensitive stuff that just brings the memories back. Again, I do not want to say anything, and if I keep excusing myself to get away from the conversation, I fear they will become suspicious. I truly do not want my current friends to find out, because it always makes them treat me differently, I suppose.
I guess what I'm trying to ask is if anyone has the same problem and/or has a few options on how to overcome this?


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## Koden (Jul 23, 2016)

vogelbiene said:


> I've been diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety for about five/six years now. I do admit, I am getting a lot better with coping with them, but I suppose that's what an increase in medication does. I don't really like opening up to people because of the whole 'attention whore' stereotype that goes with doing so in my previous group of friends. Does anyone else feel that way as well? But, on the flip side, if I don't open up to people, they can and will talk about insensitive stuff that just brings the memories back. Again, I do not want to say anything, and if I keep excusing myself to get away from the conversation, I fear they will become suspicious. I truly do not want my current friends to find out, because it always makes them treat me differently, I suppose.
> I guess what I'm trying to ask is if anyone has the same problem and/or has a few options on how to overcome this?



This is a problem I feel like many people who have been actually diagnosed with mental health issues for awhile deal with frequently. Personally, I only have two close friends and if I didn't tell them then my behavior would be very out of place and unnatural to them so I felt it best to just spill it because since they care about me, they aren't bothered and are always helping me out the best they can. As long as you tell someone, be it any person, I feel like it helps alot, you can get alot off your chest, and maybe even remove some toxic people and relationships from your life whilst at it so you can rule out who cares about you and who just says that they care about you. I wish you the best of luck in feeling better!


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## vogelbiene (Jul 23, 2016)

Koden said:


> This is a problem I feel like many people who have been actually diagnosed with mental health issues for awhile deal with frequently. Personally, I only have two close friends and if I didn't tell them then my behavior would be very out of place and unnatural to them so I felt it best to just spill it because since they care about me, they aren't bothered and are always helping me out the best they can. As long as you tell someone, be it any person, I feel like it helps alot, you can get alot off your chest, and maybe even remove some toxic people and relationships from your life whilst at it so you can rule out who cares about you and who just says that they care about you. I wish you the best of luck in feeling better!



I'm glad I'm not the only one, then!! I find it easy to bluff though; the only real behavourial issues my friends have seen is my immense anger. (that may come with my illnesses, but I have always had a short temper.) I guess that's another factor in my reasoning of why I haven't had to tell them my problems; they simply haven't picked up on it. I would love to take away those toxic friendships, but my town and learning facility is only small, and thus it's kinda like everyone knows everyone, and it's hard to escape. However, I may just be ignorant to the options I have there!
I thank you very much for your kind words though, and I hope you feel better also quq


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## Koden (Jul 23, 2016)

vogelbiene said:


> I'm glad I'm not the only one, then!! I find it easy to bluff though; the only real behavourial issues my friends have seen is my immense anger. (that may come with my illnesses, but I have always had a short temper.) I guess that's another factor in my reasoning of why I haven't had to tell them my problems; they simply haven't picked up on it. I would love to take away those toxic friendships, but my town and learning facility is only small, and thus it's kinda like everyone knows everyone, and it's hard to escape. However, I may just be ignorant to the options I have there!
> I thank you very much for your kind words though, and I hope you feel better also quq



pardon me for continuing to drag this out but there is something i did recently that made me feel immensely better then i ever did before. what you need to do is sit down and write out a list of things that make you happy and things that YOU want to do for yourself instead of what everyone else wants from you. then what you do is go through the list and do whatever you want to. yeah its dumb and sounds like some garbage but the day i put my foot down and told my family that i had enough of their shenanigans things started changing, ive been away from home more, ive gained weight again, ive even started to eat every single day. just keep doing things that personally make you feel good, you have to learn to be strong and let go of toxicity, itll only exhaust you and bring you down, if you ever need someone to vent to feel free to PM me


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## Ragdoll (Jul 24, 2016)

Spoiler: sorry, came here to vent



i just.. split on my friend.. 3rd time. its absolutely stressing me out rn bc after i split i deleted the msging app that we use to chat on, but redownloaded it and tried messaging her on it anD. SHE ISNT RESPONDING. i have no idea if she's okay or if she's mad at me or if i hurt her feelings. rn i am apologising to her for suddenly going off on her like tht. i even split on my sis too while venting to her after what happened. 

i feel terrible and am panicking..i shouldnt have done that.. hope she responds soon..



//vent over


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## LinkToTheWorld (Jul 24, 2016)

I have severe depression and anxiety as well as mild OCD. 
The anxiety part I find is worse than the depression most days, I barely go anywhere and when I do I'm so stressed out. Hate meeting new people or going to new places. 
It does annoy me when people make a joke of having OCD....it's no fun to live with when you have to check the door is locked 10 times to get it to an even number and even then you're not sure if it's actually locked. 
Have worked with a lot of young people with ADHD. I understand how debilitating it can be, one of the kids I worked with actually (was about 16 at the time) said he no longer wanted him medication because he wanted to be able to feel something. Was heart breaking


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## treetops (Jul 24, 2016)

I have ASD/Asperger's... does that count as a mental illness? If not, then somebody please correct me.

Anyways, my illness is one of those things that I choose not to think about because of how much grief it gives me. Not thinking about it has been especially helpful for me for the past few years as it helps me clear my mind and focus on things that I should be working on, like homework. The only times I ever think about it is when I use it as an excuse for feeling like I screwed up on something when I really haven't done anything wrong, but I thankfully don't do it as much as what I used to 5 years ago.

That being said however, my illness has also made me really, really struggle with making close friendships with other people. I haven't made a friend since 6 years ago and I've always wished I could do a better job at even just approaching others, but I'm afraid I'll say something that's offensive to others or if I act insensitive around them. It doesn't help that most of my friendships turned out to be fake. I've had one who backstabbed me and another who only was my friend because they felt sorry for me. While I do have friends who genuinely like me, they're either super busy or they can't get in contact with me anymore as they moved to somewhere else. When I was a kid, I was really happy with being alone, but as I get older, I realise how important having friends really is.

A lot of regular people I come across tend to over-exaggerate the traits of people with autism/Asperger's. They say that all people with autism/Asperger's are insensitive to other people's feelings, they say that they're mute and have obsessive interests and there are people who think they're either super smart or intellectually disabled (as in Chris Chan levels of disabled). As somebody who's been diagnosed with autism/Asperger's, stuff like this drives me nuts because not all of these traits actually apply to me. Especially the stereotype on being insensitive, because I'm constantly worried about the well-being of my friends and family.

I guess because of my autism/Asperger's and certain events in my life, I also feel like I have mild depression, but I've never been diagnosed with depression, so I'm not really one to say, haha.

I know not many people here have autism/Asperger's, but does anybody have any advice on overcoming anxiety on approaching other people and making friends?


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## visibleghost (Jul 24, 2016)

^ i'm autistic and i have found that it can be easier to make friends who share your interests. like, for me i always get super anxious and awkward talking to new people but if they like my special interest too it can be something to talk about and then we get to know each other. and, like, if you have a hard time knowimg what to talk about you can bring up the interest that you knlw that you borh share!!!
it has made it easier for me at least hahah.. ;w; since for me normal conversations and small talk are Anxiety Hell !! and talking about something i rly love makes it way easier, even tho it doesnt remove all of my anxiety ...


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## LunarMako (Jul 24, 2016)

I do suffer from depression and anxiety, but not on an extreme level like some people do. I feel bad sometimes because I can't relate or understand when people tell me how bad they have it. SOMETIMES I think they are faking. Somethings they aren't. But I hate that people don't think I get it just because I don't talk about it. They think I am perfect and love myself. Just because I don't talk about my feelings or problems doesn't mean they don't exist.


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## Cory (Jul 24, 2016)

I have ADHD.
But I hate how people use the mental illness card to get sympathy.


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## visibleghost (Jul 24, 2016)

Cory said:


> I have ADHD.
> But I hate how people use the mental illness card to get sympathy.



what do you mean? like, in what situations do ppl do that which makes u hate it


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## treetops (Jul 24, 2016)

visibleghost said:


> ^ i'm autistic and i have found that it can be easier to make friends who share your interests. like, for me i always get super anxious and awkward talking to new people but if they like my special interest too it can be something to talk about and then we get to know each other. and, like, if you have a hard time knowimg what to talk about you can bring up the interest that you knlw that you borh share!!!
> it has made it easier for me at least hahah.. ;w; since for me normal conversations and small talk are Anxiety Hell !! and talking about something i rly love makes it way easier, even tho it doesnt remove all of my anxiety ...



I'll make sure to talk to others about my interests! Especially because I'm going to new places soon. Even though I've never been good at going to new places, but I'll give it a shot. Thanks for the advice! ;u;

I definitely know that feeling, haha. As much as I love meeting new people, even just talking to them is enough to make me really anxious. People tend to notice my anxieties very quickly, so I try my hardest with keeping calm as much as I can.


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## strawberrigod (Jul 24, 2016)

I'm diagnosed with depression and I have very bad anxiety. Also, because my dad has schizophrenia disorder I show early signs of it since it's supposedly genetic. I also hate how people try to glorify mental illness.. It isn't fun at all and it makes you feel like you have to constantly keep in check of it to come off normal on the outside. I think it also motivates me though, because I feel like I'm very self aware of it and all I can think about is I want to do better and be better, and I want to be healthy. Especially seeing up close what it can do to you. It's also taught me that no matter how deep you are in depression that there are always people there for you and care about you <3


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## cornimer (Jul 24, 2016)

Recently got (mostly) over orthorexia, if anyone else on here is struggling with this feel free to talk to me about it


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## Emachi (Jul 24, 2016)

I suffer from
Bipolar
Post traumatic stress disorder
depression
anxiety
manic disorder
panic attacks
social anxiety
my mother also believes I am autistic, she works with autistic children as her job so she knows the symptoms.


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## Celestefey (Jul 24, 2016)

strawberrigod said:


> I'm diagnosed with depression and I have very bad anxiety. Also, because my dad has schizophrenia disorder I show early signs of it since it's supposedly genetic. I also hate how people try to glorify mental illness.. It isn't fun at all and it makes you feel like you have to constantly keep in check of it to come off normal on the outside. I think it also motivates me though, because I feel like I'm very self aware of it and all I can think about is I want to do better and be better, and I want to be healthy. Especially seeing up close what it can do to you. It's also taught me that no matter how deep you are in depression that there are always people there for you and care about you <3



This is so true. Depression can be very isolating, anxiety can be very isolating. When you're depressed you may lack motivation to be with other people, when you have anxiety you can hesitate wanting to share your problems with others, for fearing of burdening them. Truth be told, people do care, even if it's in a roundabout way at times, people want to help and okay, they may not always be GREAT, they may not be able to cure your mental health issues, and they may not be able to provide you the best support, but the fact that they are there, cheering you on and spreading love to you is so important to remember, and reminds you that you are of some value on this earth.

I used to suffer badly with depression, especially late last year to early this year, it was suffocating and very hard to deal with. I also got anxiety as a result with my depression. I visited counselors, doctors, my family tried to "help", but ultimately, it was ME who got me better, and that is a really amazing feeling. I won't lie, sometimes I have my bad days. I still get nervous talking to other people, I am shy, I am anxious about new situations, sometimes I wake up and I just lack any motivation and I feel like the world is against me. But knowing that I got over depression, knowing that I got over anxiety, it gives me more strength to know I can get over those little anxiety or depression days again. It seems like it's never-ending, it seems like you will never be able to get better but... The thing that helped me most was letting go of the past, and letting go of feelings that I was holding onto so tight. That was what was bringing me down. 

Sometimes you need to just accept life. Things change, people change, life doesn't always go to plan. You may experience a break-up, you may really love them and miss them and wish you could be with them. You may feel angry when they ignore you or abuse you or treat you in a way that you don't deserve because you can't believe that's still the same person you love. But you have to let go and move on, because if you keep clinging onto the past, you can't move onto the future. And the past is sometimes not always desirable. That's what I was like. But when you let go you can realise that you still have so many more opportunities to make your life amazing and to improve yourself. The future is a bright place and when you realise that you can control that and make what you want of it then that's what really brings light to your life. I'm sorry this is really cheesy, but it's just an amazing feeling, being able to "overcome" a mental illness. I know that I am never going to really be over depression, but being able to beat it and realise I'm stronger than that is a beautiful feeling, and I know anyone can do it too. You just have to work out what is holding you back, and you need to let go of it.


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## piichinu (Jul 24, 2016)

i think im possibly adhd. butmy dad is rly scary. so im disciplined and it doesnt exactly affect me now.

- - - Post Merge - - -

also yeah depression but who doesnt have that !! XD


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## Gregriii (Jul 24, 2016)

hiyori said:


> i think im possibly adhd. butmy dad is rly scary. so im disciplined and it doesnt exactly affect me now.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> also yeah depression but who doesnt have that in tbt !! XD



now better


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## Saylor (Jul 24, 2016)

Celestefey said:


> -


This was really nicely written  I'm so glad that things have improved for you, and I hope you'll have lots of great days ahead!

I suffer from anxiety. I think I was at my worst mentally a couple of years ago, when I was going through a lapse of depression along with my anxiety, and since then I feel like I've been improving. I would often miss school because I lacked any motivation to go, and then homework and projects and missed tests would pile up on me, and the longer I stayed away from school the more anxious I would get to go back. I'd get too nervous and feel too bad to communicate with my teachers, and I'd always feel like I was being a burden whenever I thought to talk to my friends. I felt awful that I was dismissing both school and my friends but on most days I just felt like I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. The year after that I wound up going to a different school and things started to get better for me after that. I knew I didn't wanna repeat what had happened the year before so from the very beginning I made sure I didn't miss any school, I stayed on top of my work and I was keeping in contact with my friends. I'd still have bad days when I really didn't feel like getting out of bed and doing any work felt kind of useless, but I knew that if I pushed myself to go and keep myself busy it'd be a lot better for me in the end, and it was.

I still tend to get very anxious about being bothersome to anyone who I talk to and I worry whenever I have anything less than a positive interaction with someone, so that makes it kinda difficult to talk about my problems when I feel like I need to, but I think I've gotten better at learning how to deal with some of them myself.


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## SolaireOfAstora (Jul 24, 2016)

I suffer from anxiety, autism and probably depression. 

I mean, I've tried to kill myself several times, but that's "just for attention"

Oh yeah, the self-harm?? "Just for attention"

Just like how I "think" I'm bisexual.

My parents say a lot of weird things...


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## radical6 (Jul 25, 2016)

After years of suicide attempts and depression, I'm proud to say I'm glad to live. I'm glad I'm alive. I'm glad I have this life. It was only in spring I was so suicidal I attempted suicide weekly, but now I can say I truly feel alive. I don't know how long this will last but I don't want to die anymore. I'm excited to go to school again. I'm not scared of it anymore. I'm free and good things are coming for me. I'm no longer anxious about whether or not I'm good enough. I'm me, and that's good enough.


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## Feyre (Jul 25, 2016)

I suffer from generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and depression. I feel like my depression has gotten worst after I went to college since I was away from home and all this new people surrounding me and I didn't know how to communicate, plus the pressure of doing good, it was too much to take in, which resulted for me not lasting a week and go home, I felt like a failure which made me more depressed. Going away from home for college will always be my biggest what if. 

Now I'm a third year college student with a course that is kind of okay (its not my top choice but whatever) and I have this one major subject that focuses on reports and presentations and I'm gonna be a mess!!! I'll try to fake it out. I'm self diagnosed btw, my parents doesn't know or they refuse to acknowledge that I have an illness, idk. But I want to see a doctor, but I'm afraid and my mind is such a mess lol. (why is it easy to open up to strangers on the internet)


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## visibleghost (Jul 28, 2016)

yo wats up bumping this thread bc im mentally ill n dying

nah but rly i'm seeing my therapist in a week (finally, i havent seen her in 3 weeks already because of summer n stuff). and now !! for the first time since, like, the beginning of july i feel like i probably will survive until thne ayyye progress lmao 
nah but srsly im rly dependent on therapy  so going w/o it for a month is rly hard for me and im kinda proud of myself for not being dead yet tbh.  

 but ayyy whats happening in ur lives


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## Gregriii (Jul 28, 2016)

visibleghost said:


> yo wats up bumping this thread bc im mentally ill n dying
> 
> nah but rly i'm seeing my therapist in a week (finally, i havent seen her in 3 weeks already because of summer n stuff). and now !! for the first time since, like, the beginning of july i feel like i probably will survive until thne ayyye progress lmao
> nah but srsly im rly dependent on therapy  so going w/o it for a month is rly hard for me and im kinda proud of myself for not being dead yet tbh.
> ...



I lost all my Friends I made in a year in less than a week lmao 

#stopemo

And I havent seen my therapist in 2 months maybe? Because since my parents owned her like 2 months (they got paid tho) She decided that "If u can't pay right now I wont visit u"

The funny thing is I am one of her first patients


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## Fleshy (Jul 28, 2016)

//


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## Chelsaurus (Jul 28, 2016)

I suffer from anxiety and depression and god knows what else, lets just sweep the rest to the corner.... hahaha
I have been diagnosed by my Dr and I have been seeing a counselor for almost a year now (about a few months after visiting the dr) 

I think if you're unsure of whether to go to the Drs, just go- have a chat with your Dr see what they have to say etc. I was absolutely scared of going- I had left it so late and I was stuck in an extremely deep hole. I even took my cousin with me which I think made it even scarier- talking about very personal things like suicidal thoughts to anyone is scary never mind another family member. Or perhaps speak to a friend and get their intake on it

There were a few things that got to me but the biggest thing that made me worse was the guy I was with- it was love and all blady bla the break up really tipped me over the edge and then keeping in contact and seeing him hang out with another girl blady bla it really put me in a dark place- which seems only like yesterday. I finally realised how bad I was which made me want to get help.

I think to climb that next step on the ladder, you need to WANT to get better. And it showed it- I wanted to get better, I wanted to get out that black hole and my ex didnt (he was suffering from very severe depression) things started to look up for me but not so good for him etc. 

In a year Ive made a massive improvement- I can see it and so can my counselor and family. I'm completely over my ex! woooooo! But I still have my moments of depression-and I have just accepted the fact that I dont think I will ever be 'cured' of depression and anxiety. I actually just think I can only learn how to deal with it better and control it. I think it will always be there. I decided I wanted to try and do it on my own with the help of a counselor and not drugs but lately I have been thinking about the medicine :/ I dunno.


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## Stigr (Jan 12, 2018)

Hi guys. I just wanted to ask if any of you tried using medical marijuana for anxieties and migraine? I've been suffering severe anxiety for almost a year now and been given a prescription for Benzodiazepines for my medication. But i heard alot of people telling me that marijuana helps relieve anxiety but im not im not sure if its true so i came up to search something about this idea and came across this marijuana strain from a certain site it says that i can discard all forms of stress and its euphoric buzz it delivers often is useful in combating anxiety and depression. I wanted to hear your thoughts about this guys and if you can give me any tips that can help me with my anxieties. Thank you!


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## visibleghost (Jan 12, 2018)

Stigr said:


> Hi guys. I just wanted to ask if any of you tried using medical marijuana for anxieties and migraine? I've been suffering severe anxiety for almost a year now and been given a prescription for Benzodiazepines for my medication. But i heard alot of people telling me that marijuana helps relieve anxiety but im not im not sure if its true so i came up to search something about this idea and came across this marijuana strain from a certain site it says that i can discard all forms of stress and its euphoric buzz it delivers often is useful in combating anxiety and depression. I wanted to hear your thoughts about this guys and if you can give me any tips that can help me with my anxieties. Thank you!


i havent tried it myself but there should be easy to find people who have on google or something lol.  but from what ive heard people have  hard very different reactions from it, i know of people whose anxiety was made worse bc of it and people who developed dpdr because of it but there are also people who are like ”yo this saved my life” so it seems to be very individual lol.


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## primandimproper (Jan 12, 2018)

Wow. I had no idea this thread was a thing. 

Anyway, I suffer from bpd, major depressive disorder, and severe social anxiety. Right now, I am living in a group home for the mentally ill. I do not recommend it to anyone, regardless of how much your illness affects you. I feel like living here has actually made me worse, but luckily I am about to move into my own apartment. So yay! 

Um, I see a counselor once a week usually and a nurse practitioner once month, and I have been to the hospital a total of three times because of my mental health. Again, not recommended. I am pretty sure my diagnosis might be changing, though, because the nurse practitioner changed my meds up a few months ago and the side effects of that have been...Interesting. Not really too sure what to do about that except just keep my doctors posted on everything. *Shrugs*


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## Weiland (Jan 12, 2018)

Oh boy. I've been having such bad suicidal ideation and isolation lately. I barely talk to anyone and feel so left out of life. :/ I don't even know what's happening. Maybe I've developed rapid affective (schizoaffective bipolar disorder), but I doubt it as not long ago I was hypomanic; and before that, I was super duper depressed yooooo.
I also have a new psychiatrist whom I HATE because he doesn't listen to me. I just want to die :') The only problem is is that I don't want to hurt my mum. She's the only thing keeping me alive. I can just imagine her finding my body -- it'd crush her. :/ But honestly, there's a few reasons I have to do it that I haven't told anyone. Don't ask.
I just feel like no one cares ))
Also my schizotypal is peeing me off. It's basically characterized by "eccentricity" and severe lack of social skills. I honestly just can't anymore y'know??? :^) my anxiety is horrible as i worry about literally everything from my mum not having any petrol, to not having my licence yet, to being robbed. I guess I'm also a bit paranoid that if I try to talk to someone, I'll just be shut down or they'll turn their back on me and call me annoying.
I don't want my antipsychotics to work for reasons I won't disclose. but I will say I miss the delusional thoughts and the hallucinations. they made me feel good.
I've decided that this year I'm going to make my negative symptoms better (if that's even possible). I'll try to work on my speech, my social skills, my lack of facial expressions, my monotone voice, my inability to relate to others, my hygiene, my motivation, etc.

i'm just a big ball of wrong rn.

and no, i'm not a self-diagnosed person. 
you're welcome to respond.

also please don't think i'm looking for attention; i only want to let it out somewhere. thanks for reading if you did read.


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## HappyTails (Jan 12, 2018)

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 11 and Aspergers Sydrome when I was 17. I don't like having these messing with my life but I figured things could be worse.


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## deSPIRIA (Jan 12, 2018)

id probably become very emotionally unstable and hurt myself a lot (possibly die) if something happened to my boyfriend
hes the only thing that keeps me stable and even then i can crack and express extreme joy or sadness at random times : (


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## Keldi (Jan 12, 2018)

I struggle with severe anxiety, ADHD, Aspergers Syndrome, and possibly severe depression and suicidal thoughts.
It's nowhere near fun and I can't make friends without worrying about how unhappy they are near me. I wanna keep my issues mostly private, but I will say that the only thing keeping me from ending it is my best friend since 4th ****ing grade.


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## visibleghost (Jan 12, 2018)

whomst else in this thread dislikes psychiatry 

my new therapist actually asked me last session if my sister self harms as well out of nowhere for no good reason at all and when i said that she doesnt she was like "WELL HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? maybe YOU are the person who's ignorant about mental illness? really makes you think, huh :')" (she didnt say the last part like that but it really sounded like that was what she meant.) and i really just gave up on ever working w her properly because she's a really bad therapist and it seems like she's there to push her own ego and not be professional rather than to help people, this was just something that really made me realize that this is never going to work out.
 i'm working on transferring into adult psychiatry anyway (i'll be thrown out of the system i'm currently in in a bit over 3 months so yay) so i hope i won't have to see her much more lmao i really don't like her.



primandimproper said:


> Wow. I had no idea this thread was a thing.
> 
> Anyway, I suffer from bpd, major depressive disorder, and severe social anxiety. Right now, I am living in a group home for the mentally ill. I do not recommend it to anyone, regardless of how much your illness affects you. I feel like living here has actually made me worse, but luckily I am about to move into my own apartment. So yay!
> 
> Um, I see a counselor once a week usually and a nurse practitioner once month, and I have been to the hospital a total of three times because of my mental health. Again, not recommended. I am pretty sure my diagnosis might be changing, though, because the nurse practitioner changed my meds up a few months ago and the side effects of that have been...Interesting. Not really too sure what to do about that except just keep my doctors posted on everything. *Shrugs*



shouldnt they like tell you about it if your diagnosis is changing? it sounds like a  stupid thing to not let the patient know about what's going on with their treatment but then again psychiatry Sucks.

my doctors and psychologists wanted to hospitalize me a few times back when i actually told people that im suicidal, but i really didn't want that because i think it would be really bad for me. being locked up, having things taken away, not having privacy, and having to be around other mentally ill people (in my experience it's just a really triggering game of "lol i'm The Most Sick look at how much i can destroy myself") sound like the worst things to combine to actually make someone better.... 
idk what it's like in your group home (like, maybe it's bad for you for completely different reasons) but i think it's quite uhh Problematic to just put someone somewhere and call it treatment.



Weiland said:


> I also have a new psychiatrist whom I HATE because he doesn't listen to me. I just want to die :') The only problem is is that I don't want to hurt my mum. She's the only thing keeping me alive. I can just imagine her finding my body -- it'd crush her. :/ But honestly, there's a few reasons I have to do it that I haven't told anyone. Don't ask.
> I just feel like no one cares ))



oh god, that sounds horrible, dealing with bad mental health professionals sucks. imo not feeling listened to is one of the most frustrating things ever, especially when they think they know your brain better than you do yourself. (u could say "Hey Susan im extremely afraid of spiders lol" to them and theyd be like "oh i understand, you're really stressed about a math test? :')")
Is there any way for you to see someone else or get support outside of the new psychiatrist?
also, i think it sometimes is good to tell the person you're seeing that it's not working out and that you don't feel listened to but obviously idk what your situation is like but i just think you shouldnt have to deal w seeing a crap psychologist you know??


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## Rizies (Jan 12, 2018)

I have clinical depression (or major depressive disorder whatever you wanna call it). My first bought of it was about two years ago, came off my antidepressant in February and had to go back on it in September. Unfortunately it was enough so now I am on two different types of antidepressants. So far they are working, but I needed to increase the dosage on the new one.

I'm also prescribed an anti-anxiety medication. Unfortunately I am one of those lucky souls that has depression with anxiety.

I've tried the therapy route and it just didn't do it for me. The antidepressants really help and level me out. Plus my family doctor is so good about my treatment. I see her every 2-3 months for a check in.


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## mitfy (Jan 12, 2018)

i grew up with selective mutism ? to those who don't know, it's a severe social anxiety disorder that keeps you from talking/emoting/making any sort of noise/standing out, no matter how much you want to. it's not that you choose not to talk, it's that you're physically unable to bring yourself to. even though i've recovered and can talk in social situations it still affects lots of my personality.
in addition to this i have depression lol fun. 

my psychiatrist also says that she's pretty sure i have sensory processing disorder (though hasn't given like an ""official"" diagnosis, it's coming from a professional). she also told me that i could probably relate to many autistic characteristics/symptoms, but there hasn't been a big reason to test me on it or anything. i dont really know. though i do know it's super common for autistic people to have sensory issues, and often be mute especially in childhood. i have that in common and other characteristics, but it's not something i want to self-diagnose myself with, i'd rather hear from a professional. plus, i'm not in too much of a hurry i guess, idk it's whatever lol.
i also have a lot of symptoms of schizoid personality disorder? though it's unclear on whether or not i have this as well (its hard to tell when i seem to have some autistic traits and depression together). regardless i still have a bunch of traits associated with it


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## primandimproper (Jan 12, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> whomst else in this thread dislikes psychiatry
> 
> my new therapist actually asked me last session if my sister self harms as well out of nowhere for no good reason at all and when i said that she doesnt she was like "WELL HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? maybe YOU are the person who's ignorant about mental illness? really makes you think, huh :')" (she didnt say the last part like that but it really sounded like that was what she meant.) and i really just gave up on ever working w her properly because she's a really bad therapist and it seems like she's there to push her own ego and not be professional rather than to help people, this was just something that really made me realize that this is never going to work out.
> i'm working on transferring into adult psychiatry anyway (i'll be thrown out of the system i'm currently in in a bit over 3 months so yay) so i hope i won't have to see her much more lmao i really don't like her.
> ...



Um, well, my psychiatrist doesn't actually know about all of my new symptoms. I keep meaning to tell her, but then she wants to talk about something else and yeah...Also I have a pathological fear of bothering anyone in anyway imaginable. I don't even like making phone calls because of it. 

And, yeah, the psych ward sucks, but sadly it is the only way to get people to take mental illness seriously in my experience. Like everyone in my family thought I Was faking or being overdramatic before I ended up there. Now, whenever we go out everyone's just like, "Hey, this is (insert name). Sorry she's awkward, but she's mentally ill." That's about as far as the understanding and support goes. 

The group home definitely sucks. I could tell you some real horror stories about this place. Thankfully, I am getting out next Friday.


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## Diancie (Jan 13, 2018)

I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I show a lot of symptoms of ADHD.


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## Weiland (Jan 13, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> oh god, that sounds horrible, dealing with bad mental health professionals sucks. imo not feeling listened to is one of the most frustrating things ever, especially when they think they know your brain better than you do yourself. (u could say "Hey Susan im extremely afraid of spiders lol" to them and theyd be like "oh i understand, you're really stressed about a math test? :')")
> Is there any way for you to see someone else or get support outside of the new psychiatrist?
> also, i think it sometimes is good to tell the person you're seeing that it's not working out and that you don't feel listened to but obviously idk what your situation is like but i just think you shouldnt have to deal w seeing a crap psychologist you know??



Not unless I get this disability plan I've applied for. With my condition, the lady told my mum I'm likely to get it, but you never know. Also, there's a schizophrenic girl my mum was talking to that said she's been accepted, but has been waiting a year just to get information and she _still_ doesn't have it. 
I don't really want to see someone because the only one I could talk to left me because I'm now an adult. I felt so abandoned (and she knows I have a fear of abandonment). I'd rather talk to my friends; but even they don't care. I'm just stuck in my own little bubble of recluseness and loneliness.


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## primandimproper (Jan 13, 2018)

Weiland said:


> Not unless I get this disability plan I've applied for. With my condition, the lady told my mum I'm likely to get it, but you never know. Also, there's a schizophrenic girl my mum was talking to that said she's been accepted, but has been waiting a year just to get information and she _still_ doesn't have it.
> I don't really want to see someone because the only one I could talk to left me because I'm now an adult. I felt so abandoned (and she knows I have a fear of abandonment). I'd rather talk to my friends; but even they don't care. I'm just stuck in my own little bubble of recluseness and loneliness.



Are you in the US? 

I applied for disability almost 3 years ago, and I only just got approved last month. There is a good chance you will have to go to trial.


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## Weiland (Jan 14, 2018)

primandimproper said:


> Are you in the US?
> 
> I applied for disability almost 3 years ago, and I only just got approved last month. There is a good chance you will have to go to trial.



Nah, Australia. The mental health system is better (not by much) over here from what I've heard.


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## RedTropicalPeachyFish (Jan 14, 2018)

HE
MAKES
ME
SICK...!!!!


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## Fleshy (Jan 14, 2018)

Really wish there was better help for bpd / better treatment for bpd behaviours available.


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## primandimproper (Jan 14, 2018)

Weiland said:


> Nah, Australia. The mental health system is better (not by much) over here from what I've heard.



Ah, well, hopefully it doesn't take as long for you get to approved as it did me. That was a long 3 years, and I lost almost my entire settlement. Not at all fun. I shall keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


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## rylan (Jan 14, 2018)

I have major depression, anxiety, and psychosis. I’ve been hospitalized twice and it’s NOT fun.


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## Weiland (Jan 15, 2018)

primandimproper said:


> Ah, well, hopefully it doesn't take as long for you get to approved as it did me. That was a long 3 years, and I lost almost my entire settlement. Not at all fun. I shall keep you in my thoughts and prayers.



Thank you heaps.  Bless you!


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## primandimproper (Jan 15, 2018)

Weiland said:


> Thank you heaps.  Bless you!



Thank you. You, too. 

My bpd is messing with me hard today.


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## ellarella (Jan 15, 2018)

where are my schizotypal buddies at?


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## Bcat (Jan 15, 2018)

I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 12 and I also have some adhd tendencies. 
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but mental illness runs rampant in my family and I have some medical stuff that can cause it.

I often feel like what I'm feeling isn't valid like others because I haven't been diagnosed, or that my pain isn't as important as other peoples. I get afraid to talk about it to other people too, I don't want them to worry or feel bad for me.

But lately I'm learning to stop comparing myself to other people. I'm not like anyone else and that's ok. My feelings don't need to be more or less than someone else's to be valid. 
I've started on a self-help journey last couple months and I've been improving pretty steadily, but I still have good and bad days. 
There's days when I can go nonstop all day and days when getting out of bed is all I can do. But that's ok. I'm doing what I can when I can and I'm proud of myself for trying.

@other people struggling, it does get better. Believe me.


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## Weiland (Jan 15, 2018)

ellarella said:


> where are my schizotypal buddies at?



Schizotypal also lmao


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## visibleghost (Jan 16, 2018)

Bcat said:


> I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 12 and I also have some adhd tendencies.
> I haven't been formally diagnosed, but mental illness runs rampant in my family and I have some medical stuff that can cause it.
> 
> I often feel like what I'm feeling isn't valid like others because I haven't been diagnosed, or that my pain isn't as important as other peoples. I get afraid to talk about it to other people too, I don't want them to worry or feel bad for me.
> ...



honestly getting diagnosed w anxiety and depression is pretty much just seeing someone and being like ”im depressed :/” and theyll b like Yah I Can See That Lol, it takes like three minutes... it’s pretty straightforward and if you think you have it you probably do, having a professional being like ”yeah” doesnt make it any worse, more real or more valid.

imo it’s a big problem in mental health communities that people want to be the worst and show everyone how sick they are, no one should have to be suicidal and extremely depressed for people to take them seriously but that’s kinda how it is sometimes. like, even if you know of people who have it worse than you doesn’t mean that your suffering isn’t valid even tho people might make you feel like it....

also, kind of almost related but i hate when people w/ mild mental health issues or mild self harm issues are dismissed by others and psychiatric care because their issues aren’t bad enough... it’s seriously one of the most stupid things ever, it’s not like their issues will just go away on their own and there’s a risk that they will get much worse. helping people early on would be better for everyone involved but instead people are made to feel like they aren’t bad enough, so they won’t get help and then it gets much harder for them to get better lol.


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## i love to sin (Jan 16, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> honestly getting diagnosed w anxiety and depression is pretty much just seeing someone and being like ”im depressed :/” and theyll b like Yah I Can See That Lol, it takes like three minutes... it’s pretty straightforward and if you think you have it you probably do, having a professional being like ”yeah” doesnt make it any worse, more real or more valid.
> 
> imo it’s a big problem in mental health communities that people want to be the worst and show everyone how sick they are, no one should have to be suicidal and extremely depressed for people to take them seriously but that’s kinda how it is sometimes. like, even if you know of people who have it worse than you doesn’t mean that your suffering isn’t valid even tho people might make you feel like it....
> 
> also, kind of almost related but i hate when people w/ mild mental health issues or mild self harm issues are dismissed by others and psychiatric care because their issues aren’t bad enough... it’s seriously one of the most stupid things ever, it’s not like their issues will just go away on their own and there’s a risk that they will get much worse. helping people early on would be better for everyone involved but instead people are made to feel like they aren’t bad enough, so they won’t get help and then it gets much harder for them to get better lol.



i cant express how much i agree with this--a lot of people will try to disagree with this but when i was hospitalized a lot of people would try to stress how much their issues were more valid than others. they tried to make it one huge circle jerk but people don't understand that even if your situation is worse than others, does not mean someone elses feelings are valid. i dealt w a lot of issues that led me to be hospitalized and even if u think someone else is dealing with a situation easier than theirs doesnt mean you should make them feel bad for seeking help. thats all


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## just monika (Jan 16, 2018)

hi i have bad adhd (and probably some other stuff too idk, like my dad who does in fact have anxiety thinks i have anxiety too) and sometimes it makes me feel like a useless idiot and then after i'm done feeling like a useless idiot i'm like "what was i thinking lol???? i'm not a useless idiot"
fun fact: i have a friend who i've known since preschool who hates almost every interest/hyperfixation i've ever had and it makes me feel absolutely horrible! and yet she insists on talking about nothing but kpop even when i'm obviously disinterested. it's great!

(someone please give me tips on how to deal with these two things better asdfgh)


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## visibleghost (Jan 16, 2018)

just monika said:


> hi i have bad adhd (and probably some other stuff too idk, like my dad who does in fact have anxiety thinks i have anxiety too) and sometimes it makes me feel like a useless idiot and then after i'm done feeling like a useless idiot i'm like "what was i thinking lol???? i'm not a useless idiot"
> fun fact: i have a friend who i've known since preschool who hates almost every interest/hyperfixation i've ever had and it makes me feel absolutely horrible! and yet she insists on talking about nothing but kpop even when i'm obviously disinterested. it's great!
> 
> (someone please give me tips on how to deal with these two things better asdfgh)



i struggle a lot w feelings of self loathing and a psychologist i've met gave me some advice on how to deal w it. it's about turning negative thoughts about yourself into neutral or validating thoughts i guess. lol.
first you're supposed to acknowledge that the negative thoughts abt yourself are thoughts and not facts or feelings. (because Feelings are always Valid and shouldn't be fought but this is a secondary feeling or w/e and it's not good or Valid.)
my therapy was centered around feelings and self harm so idk how relevant this is to you but we focused on identifying feelings and judgmental thoughts about feelings (like "i'm sad" is a feeling but "i'm pathetic because i'm sad" is a judgmental thought lol) and working on making the thoughts not judgmental, so instead of being like "i'm terrible because i'm feeling like this or can't do this" you're supposed to Validate yourself and be like "i have a thought that i'm terrible because of it but it's understandable and Valid that i feel like this :')". (and then the point was to not self harm but uh that's not relevant to this, i just felt like this sounded stupid and like it didn't have any meaning or goal......)

so basically the point is to try to stop beating yourself up and also to validate and be kind to yourself......... this sounds a lot more like "lol just stop being like this?????? xoxo" than i intended it to but it's because i'm bad at explaining, dbt (i think that's what it's called???) is actually a legit type of therapy....... and you can do these things yourself so that's nice.
 i don't think it works perfectly for me but i try to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings and identify them properly so i can deal with them or dismiss them or whatever, which makes them less destructive i guess.


i dont have any advice on the other stuff but your friend sounds kind of mean or at least not very self-aware. maybe she doesn't realize that she's hurting you but idk it's not great and perfect to hate on everything you like, if it's important to you your friends should listen and be nice instead of going "oh wow your interests suck and now i'm going to make fun of it forever, sorry bro"


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## primandimproper (Jan 19, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> honestly getting diagnosed w anxiety and depression is pretty much just seeing someone and being like ?im depressed :/? and theyll b like Yah I Can See That Lol, it takes like three minutes... it?s pretty straightforward and if you think you have it you probably do, having a professional being like ?yeah? doesnt make it any worse, more real or more valid.
> 
> imo it?s a big problem in mental health communities that people want to be the worst and show everyone how sick they are, no one should have to be suicidal and extremely depressed for people to take them seriously but that?s kinda how it is sometimes. like, even if you know of people who have it worse than you doesn?t mean that your suffering isn?t valid even tho people might make you feel like it....
> 
> also, kind of almost related but i hate when people w/ mild mental health issues or mild self harm issues are dismissed by others and psychiatric care because their issues aren?t bad enough... it?s seriously one of the most stupid things ever, it?s not like their issues will just go away on their own and there?s a risk that they will get much worse. helping people early on would be better for everyone involved but instead people are made to feel like they aren?t bad enough, so they won?t get help and then it gets much harder for them to get better lol.



I agree with all this, but I think it's important to recognize when someone is self-harming or claiming to be suicidal for attention rather than actually being suicidal. I say this because they take away from people who really ARE suicidal and make people not take us seriously. I once lived with a girl with narcissistic personality disorder. She was so desperate for attention, she actually slit her wrists. I just woke up one morning and there was blood everywhere. I got so upset over it, I had to be sent to the hospital and she came home a couple days later, and acted like it had never happened. 
Another girl I lived with has Munchausen's syndrome, which is a disorder that makes you lie about being sick to get attention. She claimed to be sick or suicidal so much, she was being sent to the hospital once or twice a week. And I lived with her for a year and a half. It was like that the entire time.


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## Han Solo (Jan 20, 2018)

I have generalized anxiety disorder, but my social anxiety and depression are the worst ones. I need to be on medicine but I can never seem to make it back to the doctor for med checks therefore I never get an actual prescription. **** sucks.


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## visibleghost (Jan 20, 2018)

primandimproper said:


> I agree with all this, but I think it's important to recognize when someone is self-harming or claiming to be suicidal for attention rather than actually being suicidal. I say this because they take away from people who really ARE suicidal and make people not take us seriously. I once lived with a girl with narcissistic personality disorder. She was so desperate for attention, she actually slit her wrists. I just woke up one morning and there was blood everywhere. I got so upset over it, I had to be sent to the hospital and she came home a couple days later, and acted like it had never happened.
> Another girl I lived with has Munchausen's syndrome, which is a disorder that makes you lie about being sick to get attention. She claimed to be sick or suicidal so much, she was being sent to the hospital once or twice a week. And I lived with her for a year and a half. It was like that the entire time.



wym... people who are suicidal for attention are still suicidal. obviously if people are faking then thats not cool but generally they have issues too lol

like sorry but i feel more bad for the girl w npd who slit her wrists than for you who got upset over it.


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## John Wick (Jan 20, 2018)

Heartbreaking for someone to reach the point where living is just too hard or painful.

I've know a few people who have killed themselves. 
Those they left behind will be shattered for life.


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## primandimproper (Jan 20, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> wym... people who are suicidal for attention are still suicidal. obviously if people are faking then thats not cool but generally they have issues too lol
> 
> like sorry but i feel more bad for the girl w npd who slit her wrists than for you who got upset over it.



I don't believe I ever asked for your pity and I feel sorry for her, too.


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## visibleghost (Jan 20, 2018)

primandimproper said:


> I don't believe I ever asked for your pity and I feel sorry for her, too.



yeah whatever i just think you had a terrible attitude about the girl w npd who """"""was suicidal""""""" (you know, since she wanted attention she wasn't _actually_ suicidal lol) and it really takes away from the seriousness of actual real and valid mentally ill people who are suicidal as well but just for other (valid) reasons. ://

seriously though, i'm not saying that hurting yourself for attention is good (it can really be abusive and all that stuff) and it can surely be triggering to have someone close to you attempt suicide, but you can't decide which mentally ill people are ill in the right way or for the right reason. 

not saying you're doing this but there are so many people who are like "lol people who only have x disorder/symptom aren't actually mentally ill because x disorder/symptom isn't that bad .. Also have i mentioned that suffering is a competition and that i'm winning?" and that's one of the worst things in mental health communities imo. people have different issues to different degrees and and if people can't respect each other or interact with each other without making everything into a destructive and competitive mess then maybe it's better for those people to stay away from each other. one person's validness and suffering is independent of other people and it would be so much better if people started treating each other like that too lol.


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## Rhapsody (Jan 24, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> yeah whatever i just think you had a terrible attitude about the girl w npd who """"""was suicidal""""""" (you know, since she wanted attention she wasn't _actually_ suicidal lol) and it really takes away from the seriousness of actual real and valid mentally ill people who are suicidal as well but just for other (valid) reasons. ://
> 
> seriously though, i'm not saying that hurting yourself for attention is good (it can really be abusive and all that stuff) and it can surely be triggering to have someone close to you attempt suicide, but you can't decide which mentally ill people are ill in the right way or for the right reason.
> 
> not saying you're doing this but there are so many people who are like "lol people who only have x disorder/symptom aren't actually mentally ill because x disorder/symptom isn't that bad .. Also have i mentioned that suffering is a competition and that i'm winning?" and that's one of the worst things in mental health communities imo. people have different issues to different degrees and and if people can't respect each other or interact with each other without making everything into a destructive and competitive mess then maybe it's better for those people to stay away from each other. one person's validness and suffering is independent of other people and it would be so much better if people started treating each other like that too lol.



I believe what primandimproper is trying to stress is that there are quite a few people with mental health issues who will "cry wolf" for attention and not give much care into the feelings of those around them. I have seen many a scenario of people who will blog every day about how they will kill themselves today, and they don't wind up doing it. Such dispositions can be dangerous because they can cause people around them to develop _compassion fatigue_. This is a problem even professionals suffer from. Simply put, when you're surrounded by this kind of thing _every day_, you're in danger of having very little ability to care about it anymore to protect your own mental health. This is dangerous for the person in question because one day they really could be legitimately considering ending it, and those who would have cared had their ability to care exhausted and they're unable to help them when they're really in need.

Such people should be encouraged to look for healthier ways to seek attention as opposed to engaging in alarming behaviors to earn it. The problem is that these people are difficult to tell from the "suffer-in-silence" types, not to mention reduce the compassion that people feel for those types as well. People see what the "suffer-in-silence" types do and see it as coming from the same place, and thus they believe it to be a false alarm as well, when it isn't in their case. People minimize these mental health issues because of these attention seekers because it's their way of being able to deal with the constant drama. (Plus, it is harder to believe that an issue is serious if someone will lie about what they actually want and feel like doing for the sake of getting attention. This, of course, leads to people believing later that someone who brings it up who is usually the suffer-in-silence type is lying, too.)

Seeking attention is not inherently a bad thing. Everyone wants attention, everyone wants to be noticed, even those who claim they don't and can manage by themselves. Humans are a social species; we thrive off of communities. But all humans have a limit to how much and what kind of social interaction they can tolerate. When you're a people person, someone who lives to please those around you, you try to answer the call every time when someone needs your help, all the meanwhile putting your own needs aside. This can be draining with especially needy people, who, as opposed to helping themselves, will dump all the need of their mental health onto you. It's easy in this situation to become resentful of these people, especially if they don't show you the same consideration you show them. You feel just because you don't resort to these methods to get attention, you don't get any, and it doesn't feel _fair_ because you want and need attention, too. That can lead to thinking along the same lines of primandimproper's.

Attention seekers are too dependent on others for validation. It's _understandable_ that they're like this, and it's pretty common with mental illness that goes unaddressed for years. But this dependency can be a drain on those around them, and it's doing these attention seekers a disservice to pretend that it doesn't, that personal matters and feelings and human reactions should be dropped specifically for them.

To get personal with you on this one, I used to be one of those attention seeker types. I'd post constantly about how I wanted to kill myself, about how people don't care about me, about what it would be like to hurt myself, etc. Not only did I say some really offensive stuff then that made my friends feel upset on the daily, but I also frightened them horribly, to the point that they would have panic attacks because they believed I really was about to end it all when I wasn't. This behavior didn't help me feel better. Their validation of this behavior didn't help me feel better. I kept doing it, over and over, even when I got the response I wanted, because I wanted that response again. Even when I did get that response, it didn't improve my self esteem one lick. All my friendships wound up being unhealthy, and it's honestly a wonder why most of them even stuck around when being around me was nothing but stress. I acted like you are now - that if you ever ignored a call or ever had trouble believing it, you have a terrible attitude about it.

I've swung to the opposite side of the pendulum now, and it's through that that I've begun to understand where everyone is coming from. Now, I attempt to help myself, and I don't air my grievances with people very often. Of course, I'm still attempting to learn a healthy balance between the two; because I don't speak up often enough, my friends feel like I'm more aloof and distant, which isn't an impression I want to give, either. I don't know if I'll ever find that healthy balance as it's a constant work in progress, but I do feel as though my friendships are generally healthier this way, and my friends don't find it to be a constant roller coaster of emotions to be around me. That's probably why I find myself resentful of attention-seeking behavior (at least, the extreme kind) from time to time, because it reminds me of the horrible way I treated people around me back then. It's also why I believe such behavior should not be coddled or encouraged. If someone outright told me earlier that my behavior hurt other people, that I behaved too callously in that attention-seeking state, I probably wouldn't be still dealing with the fallout now.

It's easy to suggest that we all be understanding about extreme behaviors, but the fact of the matter is that those behaviors do wear on other people. The sooner we acknowledge that, the sooner, I believe, we can _really_ get around to helping people in need.

*EDIT:* idk if it matters but i have issues with anxiety and autism i mean lol it was causing me anxiety to write this post even
my point in all this is not to say that these people aren't valid but rather to help better understand where primandimproper is coming from


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## visibleghost (Jan 24, 2018)

Rhapsody said:


> - snip -



yeah i see what you’re saying and i agree, lying about issues leads to uhh bad things (but that’s another issue kind of sghjkjkkhgfd) and whatever but i still don’t think it’s okay to act like you’re the victim when someone else attempted suicide and to basically say that they aren’t _really_ suffering because they need/want attention lol

both invalidating others’ experiences and bragging or lying about mental health issues for attention or w/e are ****ty things to do, even if there can be reasons behind it doesn’t mean it’s cool lol. i’m really done w the negativity and anti recovery that’s everywhere where mental illness is a topic idk can’t people just drink a kale smoothie and be miserable without intentionally making others miserable too

and w the mental health professional compassion thing Yeah thats partly why therapists are supposed to be in therapy themselves right



> I acted like you are now - that if you ever ignored a call or ever had trouble believing it, you have a terrible attitude about it.


also i Would Like To Say That i don’t..... do that. ... 
not sure if thats what you meant but it didnt seem like a general ”you” lol and i just want to Clarify things


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## Acruoxil (Jan 24, 2018)

No, I'm mentally healthy


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## Rhapsody (Jan 24, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> yeah i see what you?re saying and i agree, lying about issues leads to uhh bad things (but that?s another issue kind of sghjkjkkhgfd) and whatever but i still don?t think it?s okay to act like you?re the victim when someone else attempted suicide and to basically say that they aren?t _really_ suffering because they need/want attention lol
> 
> both invalidating others? experiences and bragging or lying about mental health issues for attention or w/e are ****ty things to do, even if there can be reasons behind it doesn?t mean it?s cool lol. i?m really done w the negativity and anti recovery that?s everywhere where mental illness is a topic idk can?t people just drink a kale smoothie and be miserable without intentionally making others miserable too
> 
> and w the mental health professional compassion thing Yeah thats partly why therapists are supposed to be in therapy themselves right



Yeah, I get what you mean. I do think people who are attention seeking are suffering - I mean, they clearly don't know a healthy way to get attention, and 9 times out of 10 they have self esteem issues and are attempting to seek validation from other people when they should be getting actual help instead. After all, that was the issue that I personally had; I kept trying to have other people essentially fix my own issues by constant cries for help instead of looking into methods in which I could help myself. It's fine to come to other people for support, but relying on others as a crux not only hurts them, it also hurts you in the long run because no one human being is able to support you _that_ much.

I don't think in that person's case they were trying to turn it into a contest. But hey, maybe I'm wrong. It's taken me years to get the view of mental health that I have today.

I'm very much in agreement about the anti-recovery thing, too. I think as of late there has been a general shift of encouraging people to stay miserable, which I'm wholeheartedly in disapproval of. I think we should be encouraging people that they're not only worth helping, but it's worth it for them to pursue things that help themselves. If there's a way your life could be better, why deny yourself of it?



visibleghost said:


> also i Would Like To Say That i don?t..... do that. ...
> not sure if thats what you meant but it didnt seem like a general ?you? lol and i just want to Clarify things



Ah, I believe I exaggerated in my haste to get that post out of the way since I was anxious while typing it lol. I was worse about it than you were, for sure. I wouldn't suggest that that person couldn't have phrased it better. It's just that nowadays I attempt to understand what someone is trying to say as opposed to how they say it, if that makes any sense.


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## WolfyWolf (Jan 24, 2018)

I don't feel like I can afford a therapist, while simultaneously being convinced they'd be completely useless.

The best person I ever talked to was a counselor on campus weekly, and even that didn't really solve or resolve anything; it just gave me a space to dump everything with someone who wasn't involved. I guess I just want that again, but since I had that for free I can never justify paying stupid amounts of money, figuring out insurance which I'm going to lose on my next birthday anyway not that I understand how decent my coverage is right now because we don't tell 20 somethings how to be adults in college and then they graduate and four years later have no effing clue!


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## Metal Scorpion (Jan 24, 2018)

I have depression and anxiety-related issues (social and general anxiety) as my mental illnesses.


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## Rhapsody (Jan 25, 2018)

WolfyWolf said:


> I don't feel like I can afford a therapist, while simultaneously being convinced they'd be completely useless.
> 
> The best person I ever talked to was a counselor on campus weekly, and even that didn't really solve or resolve anything; it just gave me a space to dump everything with someone who wasn't involved. I guess I just want that again, but since I had that for free I can never justify paying stupid amounts of money, figuring out insurance which I'm going to lose on my next birthday anyway not that I understand how decent my coverage is right now because we don't tell 20 somethings how to be adults in college and then they graduate and four years later have no effing clue!



To be fair, counselors are absolutely no substitute for actual CBT. They aren't trained like actual therapists are, otherwise they wouldn't be counselors; just doesn't pay as well. CBT isn't really supposed to be about someone listening to you, but rather someone who gives you tools to retrain your brain in order to manage your thoughts and emotions more effectively by turning your line of thinking around. The basic teachings of CBT you can probably just glean online for the most part, though, so if you're looking for free alternatives you could just browse what goes into CBT. It's not really the same as having someone work with you hands-on to address you specifically, but it does give you the general things they go over in CBT.

In addition, another thing you can learn about for free to look into is mindfulness meditation, which I find is helpful as long as you keep with it consistently!

The problem is that a lot of people go to therapists or they go to meditation and believe it's a _fix_, that it gets rid of the anxiety, that it's a _cure_. But it's not really a "cure" in the sense that the symptoms will go away. Think of it like having a chronic illness; you're never going to be fully rid of it. CBT and mindfulness meditation act as tools that allow you to manage those symptoms and make the best out of your life with them still there. That might not sound very useful, but it does make a huge difference if you keep with a program or you keep up with mindfulness meditation on a consistent basis for, let's say, a month, as it'll make a noticeable contrast from when you first started the programs. Depression gradually goes from being so crippling you can hardly get out of bed to certainly being _there_ but not stopping you from functioning like a neurotypical human being.

It's the "gradually" part that makes people say that CBT and mindfulness meditation don't work/weren't worth their time. They don't keep up with it consistently because they're expecting instantaneous results. If you want instant results, you're best off talking to your doctor about getting on medication. The problem is that medication comes with a load of side effects, and it's not even guaranteed to work because your brain chemistry isn't the same as your neighbor's and what have you.


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## Cheshire (Jan 25, 2018)

I feel like I’ve been damaged beyond repair a long time ago. But whenever I tried telling anyone about this in the past, I was met with dismissal or ridicule (or both). Ever since then, I‘ve tried to hide it and remain as functional as I can; but it‘s only ever getting worse instead of better. I‘m honestly scared of talking to a therapist.


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