# OK



## Redacted (Jan 8, 2014)

OK


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## Mary (Jan 8, 2014)

You are, by no means, ugly. What can I say? Girls suck. I mean, I am ashamed to be one. Girls are vain. The only advice I can give is to... Be nice? Hold doors for them, offer them your jacket, etc. I wish you luck in your quest.


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## iLoveYou (Jan 8, 2014)

Honestly, I would go out with you or have an internet affair with you. {:


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## harime (Jan 8, 2014)

Then those girls are b- *cough* rude. Just be nice or show them you're worth something? I don't know. I'm a girl but I don't know what we expect lol.


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## L. Lawliet (Jan 8, 2014)

Bro, just be you. Don't go for looks. The worthwhile ones won't care about looks... Trust me. I've been there. Don't be desperate. It takes time


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## Mary (Jan 8, 2014)

iLoveYou said:


> Honestly, I would go out with you or have an internet affair with you. {:



Ignore her, she would with just about anyone.


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## RobRob (Jan 8, 2014)

L. Lawliet said:


> Bro, just be you. Don't go for looks. The worthwhile ones won't care about looks... Trust me. I've been there. Don't be desperate. It takes time



I think the worthwhile ones are allowed to care about looks, too :c


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## Stevey Queen (Jan 8, 2014)

I think you are attractive. Just be nice and yourself. I don't have any actual advice on how to get a girlfriend though because I'm a loser but don't be afraid to ask one out.


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## Redacted (Jan 8, 2014)

OK


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## L. Lawliet (Jan 8, 2014)

RobRob said:


> I think the worthwhile ones are allowed to care about looks, too :c


You know what i  mean, rob


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## Mary (Jan 8, 2014)

I don't necessarily care about looks... If someone's hot, it's an added bonus.


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## BungoTheElf (Jan 8, 2014)

You are not ugly. you are way prettier than me wOW *How are they ignoring you exactly?* If they just don't start a convo with you, you should step up? Unless you're already doing that lol Sleeping beauty won't just appear out of nowhere : p  Or is it that they just don't reply? o: Cause that's just plain rude. You're probably a nice person, but remember to be polite and kind always! Personality is a big part, looks aren't everything but idk if you're looking for "those pretty girls" I dunno. Bc if you know what I mean they always look for those "hot guys" am I right? But you kinda are but lol *What are you looking in for someone?* You should probably be looking for someone with similar interests right? Think about how girls feel too. We are weird okay. We always worry "we're not pretty enough" too lol. don't be desperate either too lol *Someone will come eventually! *c: Be confident in yourself!

 I have no idea what I'm talking about I'm 12 don't kill me pls


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## Horus (Jan 8, 2014)

iLoveYou said:


> Look, if you're not going to take this seriously then please don't post here. :/



try chatiing up girls on miiverse


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## BlueLeaf (Jan 8, 2014)

KarlaKGB said:


> Have you tried going out to a moon lit lake to have dinner and then when done both of you look at the moon and then both look into each other's eyes grasp hands and kiss?



such cliche very romance

Other than the cheesy stuff, you're not ugly. The girls who say that are the ones who are ugly. It's the personality that matters! You shouldn't spend time with people who think you're ugly.


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## Redacted (Jan 8, 2014)

KarlaKGB said:


> Have you tried going out to a moon lit lake to have dinner and then when done both of you look at the moon and then both look into each other's eyes grasp hands and kiss?



-_-

- - - Post Merge - - -



lynn105 said:


> You are not ugly. you are way prettier than me wOW *How are they ignoring you exactly?* If they just don't start a convo with you, you should step up? Unless you're already doing that lol Sleeping beauty won't just appear out of nowhere : p  Or is it that they just don't reply? o: Cause that's just plain rude. You're probably a nice person, but remember to be polite and kind always! Personality is a big part, looks aren't everything but idk if you're looking for "those pretty girls" I dunno. Bc if you know what I mean they always look for those "hot guys" am I right? But you kinda are but lol *What are you looking in for someone?* You should probably be looking for someone with similar interests right? Think about how girls feel too. We are weird okay. We always worry "we're not pretty enough" too lol. don't be desperate either too lol *Someone will come eventually! *c: Be confident in yourself!
> 
> I have no idea what I'm talking about I'm 12 don't kill me pls



Thanks for the advice. Personality > Appearance as far as I'm concerned; but being shy doesn't help.


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## Kardyer (Jan 8, 2014)

The best advice I can give is echoed a few times in this thread!  

First things first, you're not ugly.  Don't worry about a thing in that regard.  You just sound shy, introverted, and quite possibly with a mild fear of rejection.  And I don't say this to be rude, or to pretend I'm a psychologist, you just remind me a lot of myself.  And frankly, I'd love to give this advice to younger-me!  Be _you_, let your personality show through.  Don't try too hard to be charming or funny, because it comes off as fake.  If someone doesn't appreciate who you are, they're not worth having around.  Lastly, be patient.  Don't get frustrated when things don't happen immediately; they rarely do.  Also, a strong friendship makes a great foundation for a relationship, in my experience.  I never bought into the hype of 'jeopardizing' a best friend because of attempting to date them.

As someone who's about to celebrate 8 years of being with his (MUCH) better half, who posts here and introduced me to this place...if I can land the girl of my dreams, anyone can!  ^.^  Also, I'm living proof that online relationships DO work.  Here's to taking the 'hopeless' out of the romantic.  Thank you for the ear, and I hope it's of some help.


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## Jake (Jan 8, 2014)

girls aren't intimidated by beauty, your parents are liars.
more than likely these girls ignore you because they don't like the way you look, there's nothing you can do about it (unless you get surgery) so you might as well leave it as is.

if you want them to notice you or pay more attention to you then you're going about it the wrong way. you're best off just ignoring them, too, and wait for something better to come by.


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## Mary (Jan 8, 2014)

Jake. said:


> girls aren't intimidated by beauty, your parents are liars.
> more than likely these girls ignore you because they don't like the way you look, there's nothing you can do about it (unless you get surgery) so you might as well leave it as is.
> 
> if you want them to notice you or pay more attention to you then you're going about it the wrong way. you're best off just ignoring them, too, and wait for something better to come by.



In case you don't know Jake, he tells it like it is. He may be harsh sometimes, but he means well.


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## Jake (Jan 8, 2014)

Mary said:


> In case you don't know Jake, he tells it like it is. He may be harsh sometimes, but he means well.



OP said to be honest, so that's exactly what I did.


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## Mary (Jan 8, 2014)

It's what we love about you, Jake.


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## Redacted (Jan 8, 2014)

OK


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## ultraviolet (Jan 8, 2014)

In my experience, people are more attractive when they're independent and confident. Don't worry if girls don't find you attractive! There's more to do than worry about what people think, and probably if they're ignoring you they're just busy with their own problems and stuff like that (particularly if you are in highschool, OP). Relationships are kind of secondary! It sucks to be lonely, but if people know you're desperately seeking a relationship, they'll be put off. Just do your own thing and make yourself happy. 



Mary said:


> Girls are vain.


Uh. really?? this seems kinda broad to attribute to an entire gender, and vanity isn't exactly a gendered trait in the first place.


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## Mary (Jan 8, 2014)

ultraviolet said:


> Uh. really?? this seems kinda broad to attribute to an entire gender, and vanity isn't exactly a gendered trait in the first place.



You're right. In my experience, it is mostly true, but it is not fair to generalize people like that.


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## xTurnip (Jan 8, 2014)

I don't think you're ugly, girls can just be really weird about how they act/treat the guy they like. 

It's either this, or they just aren't attracted to you. Not to be a jerk or anything! D:


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## Redacted (Jan 9, 2014)

OK


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## saehanfox (Jan 9, 2014)

Just like in that K-Pop song, be a "Gentleman." That's how I got my first girlfriend. Girls love compliments and feeling like they're worth something. Be polite and maintain great personal hygiene and you will be fine. The most important thing is to talk. Don't expect girls to come to you because when they like a guy, they tend to keep it a secret. These days, I feel like people's standards are getting low and I've seen guys who are really ugly and untalented hit it off. Relax, it's in your head; you're not ugly.


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## Jake (Jan 9, 2014)

saehanfox said:


> Just like in that K-Pop song, be a "Gentleman."



Uhmmm. Do you know what that songs about??


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## Mary (Jan 9, 2014)

(yes...)


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## saehanfox (Jan 9, 2014)

Jake. said:


> Uhmmm. Do you know what that songs about??



Yes. A true gentleman can get girls to like him even when he pisses them off. I'm Korean; I know more Korean than you.


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## Jake (Jan 9, 2014)

Mary said:


> (yes...)



SUCH A GENTLEMAN


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## BlueSkittleWolf (Jan 9, 2014)

In my opinion, girls are usually like little kids. They cry over nothing and won't tell anyone about it. (Let me say, I don't even though I'm a girl.) From my experience, the "pretty" girls are usually the ones that will just use you to their advantage. "Ugly" ones are usually the worthwhile ones. But, remember this
*"Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder"*
What have I just typed...


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## Hype (Jan 9, 2014)

You aren't ugly and I'm sure you will find someone that likes you.


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## Mary (Jan 9, 2014)

Jake. said:


> SUCH A GENTLEMAN



And this made me happy.


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## Suave_Spencer (Jan 9, 2014)

iLoveYou said:


> Look, if you're not going to take this seriously then please don't post here. :/



How is that any less serious than a (quite frankly ridiculous) idea about an internet affair? For the record, the first time I kissed my girlfriend was on a beach in Egypt, at night. I personally would take that over never actually meeting the person. 

Anyway, OP, just be yourself. Yes, it's a bit of a cliche, but there's no point in pretending to be someone you aren't. When I was your age I was in a similar position (although that was partly because it was impossible to be myself at my school without being relentlessly bullied). Once I left school and went to university I was just myself, and it meant I made some awesome friends, and an amazing girlfriend. 
Try to spend time with people who share your interests. That's more important than what you look like, if you can't have conversations about things you both like there's no point.


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## RobRob (Jan 9, 2014)

Giantmushroom said:


> Hello. I know this is a weird place to post this question but I figured I might as well. It feels like girls think I'm ugly and ignore me for this reason; is it true? Be honest please; thank you. My parents say it's all in my head and that in actuality they're "intimidated by my beauty" and can't help but feel that they're saying this just to be nice.



I can kinda relate to this post, as it seems to reflect the kind of thoughts that I had when I was a lot younger than I am today.

I think you're focusing on the wrong thing, though. While I do think that physical appearances play a part in these things, perhaps even a bigger part than most people are willing to admit, I also don't think they're an essential factor.

So instead of going about it your way, ask yourself: _"What do I have to offer?"_

Are you a funny guy? Do you have amazing stories to tell? Are you incredibly creative? Ambitious? 

If so - _How do you demonstrate these traits to the people around you?_

A lot of guys think that being nice is the most important thing when it comes to getting a girl to like them, but it's not. Being nice is just a bare minimum requirement. And you really need to add things on top of that. But having attractive personality traits will get you nowhere unless you have a way of actually showcasing them in some way.


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## Kaiaa (Jan 9, 2014)

Don't take all advice to heart. Just pick and choose what you feel is the best. The most important thing is to be yourself, never pretend you are someone you're not, and when you are older you will meet someone who loves you for you and everything about you.

Any more sarcastic/belittling/or fighting posts should be reported.


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## Hyoshido (Jan 9, 2014)

Jake. said:


> girls aren't intimidated by beauty, your parents are liars.


This is not the case in Britain, Majority of the females here just want the D on a "Hot" guy, Ofcourse it's bloody hilarious too.

Girls have always been awkward for me, Not directly saying all girls are but only the ones I've known.
I'm not exactly cute or handsome or anything of the sort (I'm sure 90% of you can agree) but Girls have liked me (In the friendzone) as a generally nice & caring person who's "funny", But it's never progressed from that which has been weird for me.

Just be who you are at the end of the day, You'll find a nice lady who'll adore you for your personality.
(Hell, I'm STILL looking for one, hurr.)


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## Lauren (Jan 9, 2014)

Sweety! I am the definition of ugly, inside and out.
Honestly, you have beauty and the fact you has flawless skin and have no need for make up says other wise. I think you're just paranoid about what "beauty" is. I am sorry but what is in the media isn't beauty, its money poured into the hands of willing plastic surgeons in order to make them feel better. I find the media to be toxic. You look fine from where i am standing, smile  Don't let it eat you up and take over you.


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## cIementine (Jan 9, 2014)

You are not ugly. In my eyes, no one is ugly (well, there's this girl in my class with a monobrow but that's not the point)

I'm sure there's someone out there who likes you for who you are on the inside and, less importantly, out.


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## Blueberrie (Jan 9, 2014)

_Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who don't mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind_. Just accept yourself for who you are. Not everyone will like you in life, and that's just the way it is!


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## Leanne (Jan 9, 2014)

Personally one of the most important trait I look for in guys is confidence. ^^; I think you have to appreciate yourself before expecting anyone else to appreciate you. "Beautiful", "ugly", are just "things" that may be temporary.

My sarcastic neighbor who is a college girl has dated many different guys. She tells me "many of them don't even have my physical favorite features", and when I ask her why she just laughs and says, "Beauty is temporarily but sarcasm is forever.". (I think she got that from some internet meme >.> But she has been happy with all the guys she has dated so far).

So in short, don't look for someone with temporary features and don't try to achieve something that is temporary either. Just be yourself. That's all there is to it. ^^


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## Blueberrie (Jan 9, 2014)

Too many people in today's society compare themselves to others. Why?


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## Nyxia (Jan 9, 2014)

Gentlemen are the best types of men.  
You aren't ugly at all in my opinion, perhaps maybe just going out of your way to be nice would help girls to notice you?
Personally, I notice boys who treat women with respect and give up their chairs for them etc.


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## puppy (Jan 9, 2014)

werent you the one that made that incredibly sexist poem about girls though???
hm.......


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## bun (Jan 9, 2014)

everyone if different though
no need to generalise
u x u


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## Redacted (Jan 9, 2014)

OK


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## Byngo (Jan 9, 2014)

You're not ugly. In fact, you remind me of Josh Hutcherson. Which I find him to be nice looking.

But like everyone else has said, what's on the inside counts more than what's on the outside. c:


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## iLoveYou (Jan 9, 2014)

Suave_Spencer said:


> How is that any less serious than a (quite frankly ridiculous) idea about an internet affair?



Lol, it was actually a joke between me & him. Hence the warning about the sarcastic posts and why both of our posts got deleted.



Giantmushroom said:


> Yeah. Didn't mean any of it but obviously shouldn't have shared it. I was angry and hurt and took it out on the wrong people. Sorry!



Do not be sorry about it. I loved that poem a lot and it many cases it can be true. Personally, I find that it spoke a lot of truth about me. So I could relate to it and identify myself in it.


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## KCourtnee (Jan 9, 2014)

If you're really 15, then I wouldn't worry about girls at this point. Just focus on school and making something of yourself. Many girls in high school focus more on looks than personality. Same with guys too. But when you come into the real world, you'll find that things that happened, or didn't happen, in high school don't matter. There will be people who like you for you, and people who don't. Focus on those that do and forget people that don't. They aren't worth your time.

Focus on your and I promise you the right one will come.



- - - Post Merge - - -

Oh and I forgot to say; you are not ugly at all. Anyone who tells you otherwise, screw them. They're just unhappy with themselves so they feel the need to make others feel just as bad as they do.


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## Tenyu (Jan 11, 2014)

You're not ugly, so let's talk about something different. Regardless of how you might look or how you might act, you're not automatically entitled to be admired or even paid any attention by any girl, or anyone for that matter. If a girl isn't interested in you, tough luck, she's not doing anything wrong or malicious by feeling the way she does.

Act like yourself. Be funny, be kind, but only when it feels right to you. Sure, lots of women like these qualities in men, but that doesn't mean that no woman will ever like a man who isn't the absolute epitome of chivalry and charm. Just stay true to yourself and be confident in who you are.

Approach people you're interested in, don't just wait for them to come to approach you. There's nothing rude or creepy about saying hello to a girl, or complimenting her socks. If she responds well, keep at it and see where it goes. If things fall flat, don't worry, and don't get angry either at yourself or at the girl. No one's done anything wrong. Move on.

A lot of the advice here is good, but some of the things people have said have been pretty problematic. A person isn't necessarily vain or vapid for valuing appearance in a potential partner. Just because a dude might be perfectly sweet doesn't mean that any girl who doesn't want to french him is a heartless hag.


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## Cariad (Jan 11, 2014)

You're fine, you just need to be yourself, but with a bit of a polite, courteous manner


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## Alearia (Jan 12, 2014)

I'm a girl, and honestly, I think you're pretty cute. >.>

Anyway, just be yourself! You'll find someone who's really worth it, and it'll all fall into place, so don't worry. 
Try going up to them and initiating a conversation? Since you said that you think they are ignoring you, it might not be actually so if you try talking to them. All the best!


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## Zeiro (Jan 12, 2014)

you focus too much on girls. don't try so hard, you're looking a bit desperate.

i know i sound like a children's TV show cliche, but just be yourself. never be someone you're not. it'll all play out in the end.


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## Jake (Jan 13, 2014)

put a vacuum cleaner on your neck to give yourself a hickie and then the girls will get jealous


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## Gizmodo (Jan 13, 2014)

Jake. said:


> put a vacuum cleaner on your neck to give yourself a hickie and then the girls will get jealous




Agreed haha


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## Jake (Jan 13, 2014)

Gizmodo said:


> Agreed haha



I did it to my friend who wanted to get the attention of the boy who liked her but was too afraid to ask her out.
2 days after having the hickie they started dating.


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## BigZombieMonkey (Jan 13, 2014)

Confidence, that's all that needs to be said really. I'm 32 and never had a girlfriend until I was 17 because I lacked confidence but now I'm happily partnered with two kids. 

When you're younger being rejected feels like the end of the world and knocks your confidence but the main thing to understand is if you're a nice person is not hard to meet someone willing to date you, you just need to have the confidence. 

Oh and don't over do the confidence, there is a point where too much confidence can lead to giving off the impression of arrogance and arrogance is far uglier than a lack of confidence. You only live once, don't be afrraid to go after what you want.


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## ChibiBirkin (Jan 13, 2014)

It's what's on the inside that counts, not what's on the outside. If anyone says your ugly or unattractive, don't listen to them. It's just showing how shallow they really are.

Also, I'm a girl, so I can't understand what you're going through. Problems with boys for girls and problems with girls for boys are, to be honest, a lot different.


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## Cariad (Jan 15, 2014)

Jake. said:


> put a vacuum cleaner on your neck to give yourself a hickie and then the girls will get jealous



Lol


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## Sad Professor (Jan 15, 2014)

First of all man, to just echo everyone else here, you're not ugly. Even if you were, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, everyone finds different people attractive, so really 'ugly' only exists in the minds of the people who want to put other people down to make themselves feel stronger.

The key to getting attention from girls is to stop caring. I went through a phase like you when all I could think about was whether girls liked me or not, but the truth is: they're just human like you. It's easy to put them on this pedestal as something that when you finally obtain, you will be happy, but that's not the case. When you actively want girls to like you, you become selfish - the relationship becomes all about serving your own happiness, and not about the mutual relationship that any companionship thrives on.

Focus on making yourself happy in other ways - try to be the best person you can to impress only yourself, and make yourself feel better. Get some nice clothes, a haircut, stand up straight, talk to people you wouldn't have otherwise, and just relax. Enjoy the world and enjoy your part in it, that's the only way to be truly happy. And guess what, people like to be around people that are naturally happy, because it makes them happy. That's the way the world works. Once you remove your mind from the worries of constantly trying to get a girlfriend, you can appreciate everything that's good about the world - only then will people find you attractive. 

So quit moping and enjoy life!


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## Redacted (Jan 16, 2014)

OK


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## Midoriya (Jan 17, 2014)

You ride up to them in your bike with shades and use a pick-up line.  (Joking, don't do that)

In all seriousness just act natural.  Guys can't fully understand girls, and girls can't fully understand guys.  It's the truth.


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## KarlaKGB (Jan 17, 2014)

Giantmushroom said:


> Girls make no sense :/
> Why bother go through the effort of liking every one of my g+ posts but not say a word at school?



Just be confident and go talk to them. Don't be lazy and expect them to come swarming at you in every way.


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## Maakun (Jan 18, 2014)

it sounds mean but become friends with a girl you don't find attractive at all and talk to her, you'll learn a lot.  

As for people saying be nice, don't unless you want to be friend zoned.  Girls don't like guys they can walk all over, so don't be afraid to be a smart ass and annoy them.  
Example, I hang around a lot of Korean girls, Korean girls wear their pants high and wear high heels to create the illusion of long legs (this isn't racist, this is true, I've lived in Korea before) so rag on them for having short legs.  It bothers them, but they won't hate you because they know you're doing it to get a rise.
Other examples of being a smart ass is telling a girl something like "oh, I'm an honest guy." Regardless if they believe you (they probably won't) it's funny because if you ARE honest why would you have to tell them.

Go out and meet girls on the street, I do it all the time, it shows confidence and guts.  Lastly, ask them out for chicken and beer...not sure if you're of drinking age but most girls never turn it down.

Having said that though all my friends are Korean or Japanese and chicken and beer is common in their culture for a date scenario to get to know someone better.

Finally I'm not going to say you're not ugly because my opinion on how you look shouldn't matter, but people DO care.  Nobody in the real world walks up to someone and talks to them with the mind set "this person isn't attractive but maybe we'll have a lot in common" LOOKS MATTER 100%.  Do they matter after the first month, probably not.  I don't even leave my house without straightening my hair and making it look good, I wear a necklace, rings, belt, accessories are fashionable.  No I'm not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that, I just care about my appearence more than I care about what other people think of me.  That way when I leave my house I'm confident in myself and it shows through.

There are a thousand other things you can do, but if you are just looking for friends, this is a start.

For the record I've been dating the same girl for the past 16 months, so I'm not a player, I just have experience with women in general.


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## oath2order (Jan 18, 2014)

The key to getting any girl to like you is food. I'm serious. Preferably chocolate, because nobody can turn down someone who gives them chocolate.


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## Cariad (Jan 18, 2014)

oath2order said:


> The key to getting any girl to like you is food. I'm serious. Preferably chocolate, because nobody can turn down someone who gives them chocolate.



Lol, but yeah


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## PlasticPinkPiggy (Jan 18, 2014)

I tried changing...

But only got someone to like me when I was myself, and you are freaking gorgeous


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## Colour Bandit (Jan 18, 2014)

Maakun said:


> As for people saying be nice, don't unless you want to be friend zoned.  Girls don't like guys they can walk all over, so don't be afraid to be a smart ass and annoy them.
> Example, I hang around a lot of Korean girls, Korean girls wear their pants high and wear high heels to create the illusion of long legs (this isn't racist, this is true, I've lived in Korea before) so rag on them for having short legs.  It bothers them, but they won't hate you because they know you're doing it to get a rise.
> Other examples of being a smart ass is telling a girl something like "oh, I'm an honest guy." Regardless if they believe you (they probably won't) it's funny because if you ARE honest why would you have to tell them.


Okay, I'm just gonna be honest here... There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. The. Friendzone. Period. End of story. Goodbye!

Yes, you should be nice to girls, but don't assume that if you are nice to them they will suddenly become your girlfriend, no that won't happen, male privilege and all that. Girls don't owe you anything for being 'nice' to them. But then being a jerk doesn't help either, you never know that girl you may insult to try and get her in bed may have a low self-esteem so you may actually hurt her feelings which is the opposite of what you want to do! See this is the problem, just because you like a girl doesn't mean she'll like you back, so don't be disappointed when you don't get 'anything' out of being nice to her, no you got a FRIEND out of that but then don't insult girls either, contrary to what most men think, we find that really unattractive and a turn off (Because, hey, we don't know if those insults could get worse and worse!)

But to add a ray of sunshine to that, often if you are friends it makes starting a relationship easier, you should both already trust each other, know about their likes and dislikes, etc. 

So, to round up. Be nice to a girl, but don't make assumptions! Don't be rude to a girl, you'll just push her away! Don't wait for a girl to make the first move, maybe the girl for you is really shy! Looks aren't everything, both on your side (But I have to say you do look nice, not my type though) and her side! Make her feel loved, this potential relationship is for two so don't make yourself the centre of attention! If she says "No" then she means NO, you'll just irritate her if you pursue her when she has made her disinterest clear! If she says "Yes, well congratulations!


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## danyelled (Jan 18, 2014)

You're not ugly, it just seems like you're shy and a lot of girls won't make the first move (esp if they're shy too)  I know it seems frustrating but there's not much you can do about it. I don't know how old you are (you look young in the pic you posted), but maybe try online dating? I met my husband that way. We are both very awkward and shy and talking online first was so much easier than attempting to meet someone irl.

Just be your sweet self and some girl out there will love you for it


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## Maakun (Jan 18, 2014)

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> Okay, I'm just gonna be honest here... There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. The. Friendzone. Period. End of story. Goodbye!
> 
> Yes, you should be nice to girls, but don't assume that if you are nice to them they will suddenly become your girlfriend, no that won't happen, male privilege and all that. Girls don't owe you anything for being 'nice' to them. But then being a jerk doesn't help either, you never know that girl you may insult to try and get her in bed may have a low self-esteem so you may actually hurt her feelings which is the opposite of what you want to do! See this is the problem, just because you like a girl doesn't mean she'll like you back, so don't be disappointed when you don't get 'anything' out of being nice to her, no you got a FRIEND out of that but then don't insult girls either, contrary to what most men think, we find that really unattractive and a turn off (Because, hey, we don't know if those insults could get worse and worse!)
> 
> ...



I've never had a girl cry or stop talking to me because I jokingly annoy them to get a rise out of them, nor am I doing it to bring down their self esteem.  I think you took it completely out of context.


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## Colour Bandit (Jan 18, 2014)

Maakun said:


> I've never had a girl cry or stop talking to me because I jokingly annoy them to get a rise out of them, nor am I doing it to bring down their self esteem.  I think you took it completely out of context.



Just cause they don't do anything on the outside doesn't mean they aren't hurting on the inside. Everyone is different and yes your joking may just be joking (if you aren't hurting anyone then nothing is stopping you from carrying on) but some people don't know where to stop, my ex-boyfriend was like that and his small jokes just got worse and worse and he really started to hurt me emotionally.

But as I said if you aren't hurting anyone then joking is fine, I didn't mean to specifically target you (I was mainly aiming at your friendzone comment) heck, my boyfriend annoys me but he knows his limits mainly because I told him about my ex and he did cause me to have a panic attack when he went to far. But yeah, as long as you don't hurt anyone then I can't stop you


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## RhinoK (Jan 18, 2014)

You're fine as hell. Love has nothing to do with looks. Love is about being happy with someone you're willing to spend the rest of your life with. It's the girl's fault they want a handsome lad with abs and blue eyes. I'm not being sexist here, because the same applies for men. (-cough-Nash Grier-cough-) You're still young and you have an entire lifetime to find true love. You seem like a nice lad from first impressions and yeah, I'm not one to give relationship advice and it's easier said than done, but just be yourself. There's going to be someone who'll love you for who you are and I think it's best if you just let it go naturally. You don't know if there's a girl crushing on you right now admiring you for who you are


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## LovelySweetDream (Jan 19, 2014)

Eh, I'm 19 and I've never had a boyfriend to be honest there are way more important things to put you're brain power to work on. Besides relationships from what I've seen always seem like a pain cause at some point they all come spiraling down into a break-up.I rather not deal with that **** lol and to be honest asking a bunch of random strangers on the internet to give their opinion on whether your good looking or not...isn't the best idea. Everyone's different and it doesn't matter if a bunch of strangers on the internet think your good looking cause the one girl...or girls you like probably don't think your good looking or worth it. Truth sucks, it could be your personality your looks maybe there's just someone else they like. To be honest you can never know unless you ask them directly...I wouldn't ask them directly myself though since I am painfully shy.


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## emeraldfox (Jan 19, 2014)

Giantmushroom said:


> No offense but that's kind of creepy (especially if you're 21)



Seems like she was just trying to boost your confidence, its kind of rude to say its creepy when you ask people if your attractive or not and they reply with "I would go out with you". Just saying but that is a normal and flattering response.

Other than that I think your attractive ^.^ Are you french? (you look french lol idk) 
It might be because your so shy (I'm shy too its okay ]: ), It is true that both genders prefer very self-confident people almost all of the time. Girls think of it as is he fun? will he make a move/flirt/blahblahblah first? (I think guys do as well...maybe.. idk you tell me). Um thats usually just the people who rely more on the physical aspect of a relationship. Which is normal, just make sure the girl doesn't just want you just for that because I have seen that happen. Okay so basically some of the time girls think just like boys. 
On the other hand if your shy there are plenty of people who are also shy who would want a shy partner. You don't need to take anything I say word for word because I have been in one relationship 3 years ago in 7th grade. -.- But I have observed quite a few people/relaitionships/drama from afar (now thats creepy) so I kind of know what I am talking about... ish. Oh yeah, and im a girl.


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## Maakun (Jan 19, 2014)

for me the friendzone does exist because I met a really cute girl whom I would have considered dating the first 2 months I met her (had I been single) and now she's like my sister and I'd never think of doing anything with her, because I friend zoned her.  It's very possible to have someone put you in a friend zone where you'd never have a chance with them, even if you felt differently at first.


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## Beary (Jan 19, 2014)

Just be yourself. If a girl doesn't like you, she doesn't. My and my boyfriend met randomly. You just click.
And you are very cute. Don't feel bad. x3


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## Colour Bandit (Jan 20, 2014)

Maakun said:


> for me the friendzone does exist because I met a really cute girl whom I would have considered dating the first 2 months I met her (had I been single) and now she's like my sister and I'd never think of doing anything with her, because I friend zoned her.  It's very possible to have someone put you in a friend zone where you'd never have a chance with them, even if you felt differently at first.


I haven't heard a guy describe the friendzone like that- I prefer your idea for it though... I've always been told that is: (Warning Urban dictionary definitions below...)


Spoiler:  The friend zone



“The ‘friend zone’ is like the penalty box of dating, only you can never get out. Once a girl decides you’re her ‘friend,’ it’s game over. You’ve become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”

A very frustrating and very ****ty place to be. More commonly experienced by men than women. Mostly becuase of the fact that men are comfortable with being in a relationship/****ing a friend, where women will piss and moan about not wanting to ruin a frendship, somehow overlooking the fact that guys already have friends, and so do they. Stupid *****es.



Yeah, *some* guys really can't tell that women have their own thoughts and feelings and act like the manchildren they really are when they don't get their way. Luckily lots of the guys I talk to irl and online aren't like this!


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## Maakun (Jan 20, 2014)

I fail to see how my example is different from Urban Dictionaries definition

I became too comfortable with Ms. Y (as we will call her) so I had no desire to date her and I really don't see her in a sexual way at all.  As I pointed out, she is like my sister now.  I became too good of a friend to want to date her any more and she lost that certain appeal.


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## Mino (Jan 20, 2014)

Jake. said:


> put a vacuum cleaner on your neck to give yourself a hickie and then the girls will get jealous



This is why you're member of the year.


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## FanousOnTheLoose (Jan 20, 2014)

lol I'm with you man, I've given up on girls, even I've never had a gf. Gonna focus on school, get my degree and a job and then I can focus on a significant other. I don't have the time right now to be with someone else.


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## Colour Bandit (Jan 20, 2014)

Maakun said:


> I fail to see how my example is different from Urban Dictionaries definition
> 
> I became too comfortable with Ms. Y (as we will call her) so I had no desire to date her and I really don't see her in a sexual way at all.  As I pointed out, she is like my sister now.  I became too good of a friend to want to date her any more and she lost that certain appeal.


I mean that from what you have said is that you haven't blamed it all on her, etc. And you're happy with being friends, whereas the people in those definitions are blaming their predicament on the girl or making her seem like she was too immature for the relationship, when they won't accept that being friends isn't all that bad :/
I'll stop now, I think I'm digging a bit of a hole...


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## Maakun (Jan 20, 2014)

No no, your explanation made a lot of sense.  I see where you are coming from.  In cases I believe guys (or girls) can be friend zoned for being TOO friendly and having the person not see them as an object of desire, so I would say that the person in question is to blame.  I've had girls literally pin me down (getting too graphic?) but it at least lets me know they want me.  Being aggressive is a good thing in most cases (not saying a guy should pin down a girl, but at least telling her "I like you" type of aggressive)

In my case, it was my fault for changing my mind set.


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## Big Forum User (Jan 20, 2014)

oh come on
girls like it when (at least I like it when) boys are acting neutral.


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