# do you have depression?



## visibleghost (Sep 23, 2018)

more and more people are depressed and it seems that depression is here 2 stayyyy and will keep affecting more and more people!! so i was how many of you all would consider urselves depressed bc thats fun to talk about idk. 
just vote what you think, i dont care if youre 12 and sad often or if u have 30 therapists who all agree that youre the most depressed person theyve ever met, depression is depression so just vote whatever u feel like.

also feel free to share some sad stories from ur life or something if you want to. it's not like a disorder can describe everything thats wrong w someone so if you wanna share go aheaddddddd


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## Hellfish (Sep 23, 2018)

I'm currently going through cycles of being kinda depressed then really happy again and it's kinda weird. I get depressed when I don't feel confident in myself and I feel like no one in the world could ever care about me. I start to feel extremely lonely because of it and end up being really quiet and push people away. It'll only last a day or two and then I'm back to being extremely happy and loving life.

I feel like it all boils down to when I was younger, I was bullied during one year of school when i was trying to make friends with people and socialise for the first time. This one kid just kept on talking down to me and calling me things that I dare say here. It was relentless and would happen anytime I tried to talk to anyone. It made me end up changing myself a lot, I ended up being extremely quiet and slowly started to be more self conscious of my appearance. I started wearing ankle socks, putting product in my hair and wearing different clothes.

Today I've overcome a lot of my issues I had from that time but I still find it almost impossible to socialise unless I already am quite familiar with the person I'm talking to. I also still have those moments of depression where I just want to run into a forest and hide for the rest of my life.

That's the first time I've ever told anyone about why I am who I am today. I guess it's kinda good to get it out there.

I find it terrible how many people are depressed now days, I think it's a lack of social engagement since everything is online, but I hope anyone else who suffers stays strong and gets the help they need by talking about their depression as that's the only way you'll get help.


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## Romaki (Sep 23, 2018)

Sure do, been dealing with it for a long time now. It causes me a lot of problems, most of them caused by my ever-growing apathy towards life and other people, but I've always handled the sadness pretty well. I'd say I have a bad phase like every 3 months, and whining on random internet forums definitely helps combat the "keeping it inside" problem while also not burdening anyone left in my life. It's sad that depression is becoming a common problem, but more informatiom sure does bring a lot of misery. Maybe the fact that generations are more intelligent and informed than ever means that kids in the future will suffer less and less. And more visibility means more understanding, I hope. Until then, I guess we have AC2k19 to live for.


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## tumut (Sep 23, 2018)

Used to have it really bad, attempted suicide twice. Now I love myself I'm so hot, also in a better place.


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## Hellfish (Sep 23, 2018)

Riedy said:


> Sure do, been dealing with it for a long time now. It causes me a lot of problems, most of them caused by my ever-growing apathy towards life and other people, but I've always handled the sadness pretty well. I'd say I have a bad phase like every 3 months, and whining on random internet forums definitely helps combat the "keeping it inside" problem while also not burdening anyone left in my life. It's sad that depression is becoming a common problem, but more informatiom sure does bring a lot of misery. Maybe the fact that generations are more intelligent and informed than ever means that kids in the future will suffer less and less. And more visibility means more understanding, I hope. Until then, I guess we have AC2k19 to live for.



I was actually feeling depressed on the day they announced AC2019. As soon as I heard the news and saw the trailer I instantly was at maximum happiness and told all my friends. Nintendo cured so much depression around the world that day ^-^

I find playing games helps so much with depression as it allows you to escape every day life.

I will say ontop of that, rather then having an apathy towards others I get extremely envious when I see others socializing or when people are out with their friends. It's one of the things that can trigger my depression sometimes


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## Dormire (Sep 24, 2018)

I have it and still in a bad place. Not helping my country isn't the brightest when it comes to mental health, I just want to leave this place and start a new life somewhere.


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## visibleghost (Sep 24, 2018)

hellfish: yikes, that sucks.
i don't really agree w the last things you wrote though, yes, talking about it is important but it's not the only way to get better (but if you refuse to talk about it chances are you actually do need to talk about it....), and the reasons why so many are depressed isnt so simple that you can say it's because of the internet. i get that you didnt mean to be like "internet bad" but i think simplifyibg the causes of depression makes it more difficult to understand and help people



tumut said:


> Used to have it really bad, attempted suicide twice. Now I love myself I'm so hot, also in a better place.



yeehaw


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## Hellfish (Sep 24, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> hellfish: yikes, that sucks.
> i don't really agree w the last things you wrote though, yes, talking about it is important but it's not the only way to get better (but if you refuse to talk about it chances are you actually do need to talk about it....), and the reasons why so many are depressed isnt so simple that you can say it's because of the internet. i get that you didnt mean to be like "internet bad" but i think simplifyibg the causes of depression makes it more difficult to understand and help people
> 
> 
> ...



You're absolutely correct. I apologise for how I worded that, in all honesty that is how my depression carried on. All my friends organized events on social media and I've never gone on social media to this day, in that way I lost the majority of my friends. As you know I've been self conscious so having an online profile was a big no. Back to my first post, gaming helped me socialize a lot, I have animal crossing to thank for that. My gaming profile on steam etc. is also to me a way to share stuff privately to lots of people, which helped me lots.

This is an extremely diverse and sensitive topic so thank you for pointing out my errors in my post, I really appreciate that and reading it back that wasnt my intention.

Thanks again ^-^

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also Google is stalking me again because my youtube feed is full of videos of people playing ac to help them during bad times.


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## deSPIRIA (Sep 24, 2018)

Yea


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## Nuclear Bingo (Sep 24, 2018)

I've been told by psychiatrists that I have depression and OCD but another psychiatrist says he thinks I have BPD about a year ago

so maybe, I'm not sure. Currently not on any medication 

been meditating a lot and learned quite a bit from therapy, which helps


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## cornimer (Sep 24, 2018)

I am honestly unsure. I go through month long periods when I have little motivation and feel unhappy with my life, but I'm starting to think it's possibly caused by OCD (which I know I have) + a general lack of self confidence rather than a depressive disorder. Until recently I thought it was seasonal depression because every time it had happened it was in the winter, but then this year it happened in the summer which totally threw me off. So I tried to examine it more, and I realized that the main reason I was distressed (other than constantly feeling like I'm an awkward boring person that nobody could really like) is that I had a constant, vague, looming sense that things were Wrong. Like, similar to when I turn off a light-switch and my brain goes "no, that was Wrong, turn it back on and turn it off again two more times." Except it lasts for months and can't be fixed by flicking a light-switch. So maybe I just have long OCD episodes, or maybe I really do have mild depression, idk.

Aside from the weird month long things, I do get really sad some individual days and just want to cry because I feel super insecure and lonely and overthink + get anxious about little things, but I just attribute it to anxiety and life in general rather than depression


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## namiieco (Sep 24, 2018)

im unsure. when i was a whole lot younger i think i could have had depression. nothing was really causing it, my life was fine but it was just a constant feeling of being far away and everything feeling dull and dragged out and i did have a lot of suicidal thoughts. luckily i broke out of that after 1 or 2 years but i wasnt exactly happy afterwards but i just didnt want to die that badly lol. my next trip was actually in december 2017 due to a figure i looked up to passing away from suicide. this time i had planned and researched about suicide but i decided i wouldnt carry it out for the sake of the people around me.  im doing a bit better these days, mostly because im distracting myself with piles of school work. i have an important concert coming up which is the only thing that is keeping me going and keeping me grounded atm. the band im going o see was the thing that pulled me out of that suicidal state starting in dec 2017. eventhough my days are a bit fuzzy and i have terrible days im better than before.


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## nintendofan85 (Sep 24, 2018)

Unfortunately, yes, I do.


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## Mink777 (Sep 24, 2018)

I think I may have bipolar, but it don't really express it ever. It's always in my head.


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## xSuperMario64x (Sep 24, 2018)

I do. I keep trying to tell myself I don't, because I've seen 2 different therapists and even tried a medication, and nothing has helped me.

I don't think it's really bad, though. A lot of my issues stem from things like ADD and OCD, not depression. But it's definitely there.


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## Midoriya (Sep 24, 2018)

Used to have severe depression, but I overcame it and other things pretty much on my own.


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## mogyay (Sep 24, 2018)

i'm not sure honestly, i've never been diagnosed with depression (although my best friend irl who is a mental health nurse is pretty sure i do), some days i can hardly get out of bed, take care of myself, do basic tasks such as go to school or write an email/phone someone, cry constantly, push all my friends away, i'll feel like i almost don't want to exist anymore and then the next day.. i'm fine? i can't help but attribute it to where i am in life (don't have a stable job, still in uni, hate my part time job, don't have many friends, person who means a lot to me lives far away etc, not happy with looks) and i think if i could resolve all these problems then i'd feel fine but i do wonder if that's true..

i'm not sure, i think i definitely go through phases of depression but overall i'm alright with myself, if i do have depression i don't think it's severe, i don't have thoughts of suicide (when i say i don't want to exist, it's more in that moment, i don't actually think of doing anything serious) or harming myself but i do think things will improve over time as i resolve the issues that bother me


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## goro (Sep 24, 2018)

huh. i thought i posted here, but i guess i didn't. whooooops

i've had severe depression for quite a while with some bipolar traits. been professionally diagnosed since i was 11 or 12. but considering how it's negatively affected every single area of my life, interfering heavily with my education and interpersonal relationships, and even affecting basic things like eating and sleeping. i don't want to go into the mental trainwreck that is my brain, but two of the things i also have are ptsd and severe anxiety, which pretty much makes everything worse.

but tbh "depression culture" is extremely toxic. it creates an environment of anti-recovery and almost encourages you to not get help. i used to be in that hivemind for YEARS and it still affects me, as i'm currently too scared to get a therapist due how deep the "tendrils" go. 

tldr; depression is bad water is wet  fire is scary and don't glorify mental illness


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## watercolorwish (Sep 24, 2018)

i have no idea theres just a lot of shame and embarrassment in my life lately its been really hard to keep track of everything


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## ali.di.magix (Sep 24, 2018)

I want to say no, but I'm too scared to. For one, I'm scared of it coming back and secondly I feel like I still have mild bouts of it. Honestly I'm a bad judge of my own emotions so I don't know right now.

I know I've definitely had it in the past, especially through my high school days. There was a lot of times were I was extremely unmotivated and just very unhappy with myself, and just unhappy overall. There were days where it was a struggle for me to get out of bed. I'd get dressed, only just, and then literally drag my feet around to get anywhere. I couldn't focus in classes, barely had the energy to interact with anyone including my family who I live with.

At the time I didn't really deal with it, like at all. It took me years to figure out I was actually depressed and highly stressed out, with probably underlying anxiety as well. I did go to counselling, but he just made me feel like my problems weren't my own, basically saying _"why are you upset? These aren't you're problems."_ The only good thing I got out of that experience is someone to talk to.

And yeah, maybe that is true. Maybe I do take on problems that aren't my own, especially when it comes to my family. I don't know why, but it sure is hard to avoid those problems when you're in that environment 24/7. It's hard not to be affected by the abuse around you, even if it isn't directed towards you. There is one thing I know for sure that has rooted from my family, and that is my low self-esteem. And I'm pretty sure my anxiety has probably rooted from them too.

Anyway, fast forward to now, I'm on antidepressants to deal with said anxiety, but I've noticed that it's definitely helped the depression side of things. I never have any suicidal thoughts anymore (when I say suicidal, I don't have a plan on acting on them, just generally not wanting to exist). For a few months I was feeling much much happier with myself. My self confidence got a boost too. I haven't had a depression phase for a long time now.

The only problem I have with myself now is my increasing feeling of numbness. I've noticed it over the last few months that sometimes I literally feel nothing. It becomes really hard to tell if I'm bothered by something that's on my mind, or the opposite I just don't feel any happiness. I don't know if this is from undealt with depression, anxiety, stress or just medication I'm on. Probably a combination of all lol.

Overall, I guess I'm in an okay/satisfactory place right now. Not super good, but not bad either.


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## visibleghost (Sep 25, 2018)

goro said:


> but tbh "depression culture" is extremely toxic. it creates an environment of anti-recovery and almost encourages you to not get help. i used to be in that hivemind for YEARS and it still affects me, as i'm currently too scared to get a therapist due how deep the "tendrils" go.
> 
> tldr; depression is bad water is wet  fire is scary and don't glorify mental illness


i realllllly agree. like, not to b like "mentally ill people suck" but whenever a bunch of mentally ill ppl get together n talk about it the conversation turns bad. there is always that rude person whos like "um achtulally JANET your dbt strategies are stupid and sound like neurotypical nonsense" or the people who think getting better means your pain never mattered. on the other end there are the people who cut themselves once and now go around talking about how important it is to just stay positive and never let your feelings show or affect you, then you won't have to sh!! 
being anti recovery and anti therapy, bragging about suicide attempts, hospitalization or self harm, comparing issues, putting people down who don't have it the exact same way as you (because not having the same issues means having it easy... "oh you ONLY have this issue?? lmao youre not even mentally ill if you just have depression and anxiety...."), romanticising issues, and just being terrible in general is just everyday stuff in many mental health communities and im so sick of it. 

it's just so exhausting to be around other mentally ill people and i know that that sounds terrible but for me it's true. everyone is hurting, cant ppl just leave other people alone and focus on themselves


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## Akira-chan (Sep 25, 2018)

I have been dealing with it ever since i moved. Really haven't felt truly happy since. I blame my ADHD and what not, and i keep getting worse with each day. It's getting to the point where im kinda scared i might do something. I just have such apathy and disinterest in things i honestly dont know what im going to do with my life. I have nothing going for me. 


it really be like that tho


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## cornimer (Sep 25, 2018)

visibleghost said:
			
		

> putting people down who don't have it the exact same way as you (because not having the same issues means having it easy... "oh you ONLY have this issue?? lmao youre not even mentally ill if you just have depression and anxiety....")



Yeeeeeah to speak to this a bit, I had an eating disorder around age 14-16 and when I told my """"friend"""" who had several mental illnesses about it she said she was "surprised" that I had such a "basic" disorder and she wouldn't have expected it from me. As if I chose to have this disorder and suddenly it made me less of a person? Because it was trendy or girly or something?? And she said something about how she didn't really respect eating disorders because it was so much easier to recover from and not the same kind of suffering. I should mention she was the first person I had ever told about having the disorder, so what a great encouraging first reaction :') 

TLDR all mental illnesses are a serious problem that should be dealt with, they are not cool or trendy or "less real" than other mental illnesses.


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## That Marshal Fangirl (Sep 25, 2018)

Yeah.  Thankfully it?s not so bad I can?t get out of bed or take care of myself, but it?s there.  I tend to look an the negative side of things and sometimes my sadness creeps up on me, especially if I?m lonely or anxious.


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## Shellzilla_515 (Sep 25, 2018)

No, I do not. I'm just curious but what leads to depression? I've seen many people affected by this and yet I don't really know the various causes to it. Is it fear? Your goals? 

It's just my belief here but I feel like you should try praying to God to take away your sadness and anything that is bringing you down. I'm not forcing it onto you and feel free to pass this tip if you want. More and more people are being affected by this and I don't want to see the numbers rising...


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## Raayzx (Sep 25, 2018)

School = Depression


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## cornimer (Sep 25, 2018)

Shellzilla said:


> No, I do not. I'm just curious but what leads to depression? I've seen many people affected by this and yet I don't really know the various causes to it. Is it fear? Your goals?
> 
> It's just my belief here but I feel like you should try praying to God to take away your sadness and anything that is bringing you down. I'm not forcing it onto you and feel free to pass this tip if you want. More and more people are being affected by this and I don't want to see the numbers rising...



As far as I know, depression is usually caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life factors such as stress, grief, and isolation can contribute to it, but are not the sole cause. It is in that way as much a physical illness as something like cancer even though we cannot see it. It is not just "being sad" or unhappy with life and cannot be solved as easy as you may think, although I understand you had good intentions in saying that.

(P.S. I liked this person's post to notify them, not because I agree with their post)


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## visibleghost (Sep 25, 2018)

Vampnessa said:


> As far as I know, depression is usually caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life factors such as stress, grief, and isolation can contribute to it, but are not the sole cause. It is in that way as much a physical illness as something like cancer even though we cannot see it. It is not just "being sad" or unhappy with life and cannot be solved as easy as you may think, although I understand you had good intentions in saying that.
> 
> (P.S. I liked this person's post to notify them, not because I agree with their post)


it's the same chemicals making the frogs gay. 

mental illness can be caused by a number of things and especially depression has sooo many different causes. for me personally it was maybe started by being lonely, having childhood anxiety and feeling bad about myself, and then i just developed a load of Natural Depression. 

your reply is really good. i think people who havent struggled w depression often have a hard time understanding that it's not possible to get yourself together like you would if you're just sad. it's not the same thing but i think people have a hard time understanding that, they know depression is "to be sad all the time" so they take the closest theyve felt (normal sad) and think it's like that when it really isnt.


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## kelpy (Sep 25, 2018)

i have gad (generalised anxiety disorder) and its pretty much attached to depression, which is a huge rollercoaster that never seems to end
i take the highest dose they typically prescribe of my meds, but its such a black and white thing. if i miss a day its really, really bad. i go from 0 to 100 and ive tried to almost ? kill myself a few times in that short time of withdrawal,
i hate that i'll likely never be normal. it hurts every cell in my body to know that i'm just going to be like this forever. no 14 year old should deal with this crap. ever. i couldnt wish it on my worst enemy
i appreciate being normally sad because its so, so incredibly different from my depression, i feel my depression and anxiety in my stomach and i feel normal sadness in my chest and my heart, and it feels so light and airy and calm and melancholy and i appreciate it so, so much


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## goro (Sep 25, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> ~~~



don't worry, from one mentally ill person to another you don't sound "ableist" or terrible. i completely understand and agree. being around others with problems like i do 24/7 can cause stress at best and a terrible "us vs. them" anti-recovery mentality and psychological trauma at worse. 

plus it isn't a competition and i hate being guilt tripped, like when i've vented about my past with my own trauma and they bring up theirs and go into detail about how much worse it was. pain is subjective and everyone's pain levels are different, and people are supposed to get better. don't encourage mentally ill people to stay in the rut they're in just because it's "trendy".

(sorry if this sounds scattered btw, my thinking's all over the place and i just got home from school)


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## mitfy (Sep 25, 2018)

y a lmao

i'm not as bad as i used to be but we tried to get me off my medication recently but like not even a week after i stopped taking it completely i was like lol no i feel Awful i need to go back on.


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## visibleghost (Sep 26, 2018)

goro said:


> don't worry, from one mentally ill person to another you don't sound "ableist" or terrible. i completely understand and agree. being around others with problems like i do 24/7 can cause stress at best and a terrible "us vs. them" anti-recovery mentality and psychological trauma at worse.
> 
> plus it isn't a competition and i hate being guilt tripped, like when i've vented about my past with my own trauma and they bring up theirs and go into detail about how much worse it was. pain is subjective and everyone's pain levels are different, and people are supposed to get better. don't encourage mentally ill people to stay in the rut they're in just because it's "trendy".
> 
> (sorry if this sounds scattered btw, my thinking's all over the place and i just got home from school)



yea, i agree.
comparing issues and traumas is a personal problem that should be kept to oneself and dealt w in a healthy way, once you start talking about it youre actively hurting other people. i think the competitive mindset stems from a lot of things like for example being doubted so much and having to prove your mental illness to people, and being so alone in the suffering. it can make you resent other people idk. this doesnt make a lot of sense but basically mental illness sucks


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## teto (Sep 26, 2018)

im sad because chemicals are making the frogs gay. why should frogs be gay? they're just frogs. they can be whatever they want to be, mr jones


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## Croconaw (Sep 27, 2018)

I do not believe I have depression, but I do have a certificate for an emotional support animal. That is mainly for my anxiety though. I have anxiety, but not depression.


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## Rizies (Sep 28, 2018)

I do have depression and I am in the middle of severely depressed and it being managed. I see my doctor regularly and my meds have decided to stop working properly. I had an increase and I find I actually feel worse. 

I think over the years it is becoming a more talked about issue, and being more apparent in that way compared to several years ago.


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## Mr_Persona (Sep 28, 2018)

I say I do have it because I get sad easy and sometimes I just don't wanna do anything when I'm feeling down and sometimes I don't know why I get sad on days often like idk what cause to make me sad.


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## sleepydreepy (Sep 28, 2018)

I have moderate depression and anxiety and take medication for it


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## Hai (Sep 29, 2018)

I have depression and anxiety. Not sure whether light, moderate or severe. Moderate I guess. 
I'm in therapy and take antidepressants. Feeling fine now~


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## Tessie (Sep 29, 2018)

no i dont but i give big hugs for anyone that does and reassurance that u matter and are loved!!!!!! 

message me if u ever wanna talk! i know a lot about medicine too if you have questions if on antidepressants like SSRIs, or considering them


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## G0DFlesh_88 (Sep 29, 2018)

I've been pretty good this year with depression. Sometimes the August/fall months trigger some sort of depression. Not sure if its chemical imbalances, or just the mood of the months. I just keep busy most of the time to take my mind off it. Walking definitely works for me the most tho.


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## Soigne (Sep 29, 2018)

unfortunately


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## goro (Sep 29, 2018)

sad


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## visibleghost (Sep 30, 2018)

goro said:


> hey i'm just gonna remind everyone here that depression is a medical diagnosis; there is a difference between feeling sad a lot and clinical depression. not to mention that there's chronic depression as well, tbh i'm anti self-diagnosis
> just a heads up in case anyone's curious or misinformed



why are you against self diagnosis of depression lol it takes psychologists like 5 seconds to be like "haha ok so you have epic depression syndrome, i can see it in your eyes" like it really isnt a big deal.
depression can be everything from "this last month ive been sad a lot, almost every day ):" to "hello i cant move my body because of the soul crushing depression and also all the nerve damage from my 150 suicide attempts lol" like it really can be so many different things, just because two people have the same disorder doesnt mean they even have compareable issues. same thing with anxiety, so many people have it but a majority have a very manageable type that isnt compareable to life ruining anxiety.

not that it sounds like every single person in this thread knows exactly what depression is but i think it's better to be edgy and think youre special because you "have depression" than to not know youre depressed and do anything about it. 

also, not that you wrote anything about this but there are people who think that just because someone is a weirdo about it theyre not depressed, a lot of people with depression are super edgy and write poems about how no one gets them because they have had mild depression for two months and their mom doesnt let them get a tattoo of their favourite screamo song lyrics but thats like..... just kind of embarrassing for them and not an indication that theyre not depressed.
 i think it's important to dislike the depressed person being annoying instead of talking about fakers and attention seekers because while depression is romanticized and it's gross to do that, a lot of people with mild (and not mild) depression doubt themselves and refrain from getting help because theyre not depressed enough or even depressed in their own eyes. it's stupid to (have to) wait until youre suicidal to get help for your depression, early intervention saves so much suffering and money (for society if the government pays for therapy etc. haha) and even lives, but it's common to just ignore mild depression because others have it worse. idk i just think it's important to be open for self diagnosis but to also help them understand what depression is. if someone thinks theyre depressed i think they could be happier and even if they arent actually depressed they still deserve compassion and support.


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## Corrie (Sep 30, 2018)

I haven't been diagnosed but I'm pretty dang sure I have it to some degree. Last year I was really bad in the winter where I easily skipped lots of my classes to just stay in bed because I didn't think getting up would be worth it. It was really bad where I almost failed a class cause I wouldn't hand in assignments either. 

Luckily that strength of depression is gone at least for now but i do get in sad moods of despair where I just think I'm a horrible person and nobody wants me and I'm better off dead, etc. But it comes and goes in waves.


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## mellachime (Sep 30, 2018)

I have depression and take medication for it and it also is for my anxiety. I have other mental illnesses I don't wanna say here but, gosh with having all these and depression as well can be really challenging and make life very hard but, I'm trying my best! ACNL really has been helping me...tremendously. 
I haven't felt bad in days cause of it! (Well..until today actually)
But yeah. ;_;


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## griefseed (Oct 1, 2018)

i've been struggling for most of my life, not only with depression but other unnamed (on here, by choice) mental illnesses. it's been recently on the upwards with proper medication + productive therapy sessions but i can tell it's heading back to a rougher place. but, yeah! i have major depression w/ psychotic features and have had it for.... a really long time now!


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## Warrior (Oct 1, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> snip



I'm wondering, what do you think people are going to do with a self diagnosis of depression to necessarily fix it? Also I dunno, getting diagnosis isn't generally that straight forward, but I will admit I'm in country with free healthcare so it's literally pointless to self diagnose. The issue I see with this is you end up with people misdiagnosing the problems or using as an excuse to not work on issues themselves. You might have someone with SAD thinking they've depression and missing the boat for YEARS on very affordable ways to help their condition because they don't bother to dig deeper into the problem. Or you might have people with type 2 bipolar think they've depression because their down patches last so long, and because the issue doesn't get picked up and is otherwise 'being dealt with' with self diagnosis people experience brain damage from the longterm fits of mania, or let's say you've someone with ADHD or ADD mistaking their inability to focus with a more depression related inability to focus, and missing out on both work accessibility and education related accessibility. The brain is the most complicated body part, yet it's the area of medicine people seem the most eager to assume they have all the answers for. Mental health is just an area where the individual is too biased, you might know yourself the best, but that doesn't mean you know the DSM-V front to back. 

Webmd isn't a replacement for actually treating the problem. Just because someone disagrees with you, well, this person doesn't have to be open to self diagnosis. That's their choice of what they see as acceptable or not, not everyone has to agree with you on everything. There's no harm in looking after yourself on your own as much as possible, I definitely advocate for people to actively care for themselves, but arriving at a foregone conclusion can be in some cases actually quite dangerous. Society at large benefits more from more accessible mental health services than the normalisation of self diagnosis - but that's just my opinion, and you can totally disagree with me and that has 0% impact on your character as an individual. 

Side note though, there are some symptoms I have 0 problems with people self diagnosing though, like gender dysphoria, but gender dysphoria is an instance where the issue is so accute and exact, there's very little else it can be, whereas depression has crossover symptoms with.... literally about every other existing mental health problem, developmental disorder, or other physically issues including those with nothing to do with the brain. It's too broad. To reiterate, all for people being self aware of their daily problems and making note and paying attention, but we should all be careful to get too self assured of our conclusions. I thought I had depression but nope, developmental disorder. If I never went to the doctor about it my life would be a billion times harder right now, no government assistance, no ability to make use of disability orientated employability services, no nothing.


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## Charcolor (Oct 1, 2018)

i have diagnosed depression, i've had it since i was about 11 and i started medicating when i was 13. i think i'm getting better at coping with it, even it it will never truly go away


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## visibleghost (Oct 1, 2018)

Warrior said:


> ///



i think you're misunderstanding my point. i'm not saying people shouldn't seek out professional help or get diagnosed, i just think that if someone is clearly depressed but hasn't had a psychologist be like "ya youre depressed" they're still depressed. there are a lot of ways to help yourself with your symptoms of depression but obviously it's important to find the root cause of it and to get treatment. 

self diagnosing depression/realizing you're most likely depressed is a part of realizing you need help. people go to a psychologist once they suspect they have a problem and for that to happen you have to know that you can have depression. most of the time depression creeps up on you until it's the new normal and it can be difficult to know what you're supposed to feel like when you're not depressed. so many people treat feeling empty, being sad all the time and hating yourself as normal parts of growing up and being a person and it normalizes it. experiencing those things once in a while is normal, but when you accept that life is just supposed to feel meaningless and terrible and that that's normal... you're not going to get better. In order to get better you have to know you have a problem, and helping people realize that they do have a problem starts with how the general population views and treats depression. if it is a problem Other People have then well, of course you can't have it, you're just tired from a long week! but if it's something you are allowed to call yourself, if it's destigmatized and a normal problem (which it most definitely is, many, many people are depressed), and if it's acceptable to be depressed, it will be easier for people to get help. 

i think your view of it being unnecessary to self diagnose is based on just one perspective of the issue. even where healthcare is free there is a stigma, many people don't know they even can get help, their parents might not allow it, they're too embarrassed, or the queue to seeing a psychologist is long. besides, a big part of the tbt community is made up of young americans. in the us healthcare is expensive and if they're poor or their parents aren't supportive it suddenly becomes a lot more difficult to see a therapist and receive that golden Depression Certificate.

seeing a therapist isn't a magic cure, it takes a lot of time and effort to become healthy again, and for some that might never happen. what is important is to learn how to manage your depression. you don't go to therapy and walk out cured, you go to therapy and learn how to help yourself so you can survive all those other hours of the week when you're not in therapy. while it would be absolutely great if everyone with symptoms of depression would be treated by a psychologist, that's just not the way things are now. there are plenty of depressed people going undiagnosed and without help, these people still need and deserve support, tools and understanding. not gate keeping depression resources, communities and self help things is super important for people to get better. 

of course people should seek help, especially if they are having more problems, it's very persistent or it gets worse. you don't know exactly what's going on with your head and there is definitely a risk of it being something other than organically homegrown depression. 

you seem to be concerned about people being mistaken and self diagnosing with something they don't have, which definitely can happen. i'm not arguing against that, i just think that gate keeping depression is very harmful.


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## hamster (Oct 2, 2018)

With the self diagnose thingy, depression is definitely one of the easiest mental illnesses to recognise. You don't need to go see a psychiatrist for it to be valid imo. Obviously people are going to lie/exaggerate or just misinterpret depression but yea it can be pretty easy to spot

kinda disagree with what i said here as its not always easy to spot whether ur looking at yourself or someone else (its different for everyone) i think what i was trying to say is that you dont necessarily need to get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist to realise that youre depressed


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## deSPIRIA (Oct 2, 2018)

hamster said:


> With the self diagnose thingy, depression is definitely one of the easiest mental illnesses to recognise. You don't need to go see a psychiatrist for it to be valid imo. Obviously people are going to lie/exaggerate or just misinterpret depression but yea it can be pretty easy to spot



Ya. I used to be like Ur not exactly diagnosed so dont say u have depression. Which isnt true. Its just gatekeeping people from having an answer to why they can feel so bad. People also genuinely believe that u only have REAL depression if the feeling never exactly gets better. Annoying


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## hamster (Oct 2, 2018)

cammy said:


> Ya. I used to be like Ur not exactly diagnosed so dont say u have depression. Which isnt true. Its just gatekeeping people from having an answer to why they can feel so bad. People also genuinely believe that u only have REAL depression if the feeling never exactly gets better. Annoying



Me agree


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## Tessie (Oct 2, 2018)

visibleghost said:


> why are you against self diagnosis of depression lol it takes psychologists like 5 seconds to be like "haha ok so you have epic depression syndrome, i can see it in your eyes" like it really isnt a big deal.



but thats not the way it works? a psychologist doesnt diagnose, is not a medical doctor and cannot prescribe medicine? so they really shouldnt diagnose one as depressed if that person hasn't seen their doctor first. 

if one confidently claims theyre depressed i hope they were evaluated by an actual medical doctor prior, hopefully one that specializes in mental disorders like a psychiatrist. a good psychiatrist will evaluates symptoms the patient shares, the duration of those symptoms, and whether or not it coincides with the the current guidelines and protocol.
afterwards, many people are then referred to a therapists (which i think you mean when you say psychologist) to received cognitive behavioral therapy especially if on an antidepressant for highest success rate.


there are many people who claim they are depressed when its a bad day or week, or maybe have low self esteem about themselves, or some other element that just makes them feel 'bad' but isnt considered -_clinical_- depression despite diagnosing themselves as that. i understand goro's point of view of self-diagnosis...

but of course if you are feeling so bad for quite a long time that you dont look forward to your day or you just wish to not even be on this earth anymore of course tell a counselor at school or see a doctor especially if you know its affecting your activities of daily living.


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## Glake (Oct 2, 2018)

I can understand the frustration that may come with many claiming that they are depressed, when they have not in fact been diagnosed with depression. There is a reason why medical diagnosis exist, and I feel if you really want professional help in the long run, for many, going in for a diagnosis and then following the steps afterwards may be the optimal decision.

On the flip side, I feel like for many depression has this "black & white" connotation, when I don't really think it's all that simple. I do believe it's possible to be depressed one day, and feel a lot better the next, but I also feel like depression is a much heavier, and impactful state than just "having a bad day". I can very well be a reoccurring thing, and not strictly a constant that has to be fixed with medical treatment.

Even if someone isn't medically diagnosed with a mental illness, I definitely feel like directly invalidating how they feel will do more harm than good. It's a touchy subject, but I feel like this is something that needs to be more actively discussed.


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## Mr. Cat (Oct 2, 2018)

I avoid people because of how rude they are to everybody they supposedly like behind their back. And that leaves me alone a lot. Which isn't a problem, but I've learned that it's really hard to get very far in life without any personal contacts.


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## XxNicolexX (Oct 2, 2018)

I been depressed since I was 8 and I?m now 24


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## visibleghost (Oct 3, 2018)

Tessie said:


> but thats not the way it works? a psychologist doesnt diagnose, is not a medical doctor and cannot prescribe medicine? so they really shouldnt diagnose one as depressed if that person hasn't seen their doctor first.
> 
> if one confidently claims theyre depressed i hope they were evaluated by an actual medical doctor prior, hopefully one that specializes in mental disorders like a psychiatrist. a good psychiatrist will evaluates symptoms the patient shares, the duration of those symptoms, and whether or not it coincides with the the current guidelines and protocol.
> afterwards, many people are then referred to a therapists (which i think you mean when you say psychologist) to received cognitive behavioral therapy especially if on an antidepressant for highest success rate.
> ...



psychologists diagnose mental illnesses here lol idk where youre from but it's how it works here. it seems that counsellors and people without a psychology degree generally don't diagnose people but doctors, dentists and psychologists diagnose peoplewith different things  (in their respective fields of work) and sometimes nurses and others can do it too.

i don't mean therapist when i say psychologist lol, way to be patronizing about it though.  
to call yourself a psychologist in sweden you have to have a psychology degree (5 years) and have worked for like 1.5 years as a practicing psychologist. therapist is an umbrella term for people who can treat mental illnesses and do therapy, people w a therapist licence, but you can have a very short education for it. a social services (socionom) degree is common among therapists (terapeuter) and then they have a therapist licence on top of that and blah blah blah but it differs a lot between different therapists. some educations are very short and some are much longer. for treatment of serious mental health issues a psychologist is usually the therapist doing the therapy but w mild or moderate depression a terapeut (therapist only) is good too. so no, i don't mean therapist when i say psychologist.

a psychologist can't prescribe medicine, that's what psychiatrists (educated medical doctors, 5.5 years med school, 21 month AT-tj?nst, then specialization towards psychiatry) do. 

do you for real think i don't know how diagnosing works. "hopefully someone who specializes in mental disorders" yeah i sure hope they do? like for example a psychologist? 

cbt and antidepressants arent the only ways to treat depression and it's important to work together with the therapist to find something that suits your needs. you don't go to a therapist and just listen to everything they say and then you're fine, it's a process that you both are part of and need to participate in. youre making it sound like us mere mortals without a medical degree or psych licence can't know anything about mental health issues and shouldn't even try to reflect on our issues until a doctor has given us permission to be officially depressed. 

yes, people say theyre depressed when theyre not. depression is often used as the name of a feeling. it's like how feeling anxiety doesnt mean you have an anxiety disorder. but yea, there are misconceptions that need to go away but sitting on some high horse with a certificate of Real Depression (Which I Have Had For Three Weeks So Now Im An Expert On Everything) and talking down to people with mental health issues who aren't receiving help is just stupid, rude and pathetic.


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## Tessie (Oct 3, 2018)

what the heck lol, i didn?t even mean to hit a nerve with you why are you so offended and aggressive. 
i wasn?t even trying to be patronizing. many doctors prescribe antidepressants outside of their specialty, i see it all the time, so that?s the only reason why i said hopefully one who specializes in mental disorders to do the diagnosing and prescribing for best/accurate treatment. i think more so psychologist is an umbrella term, bc i referred to behavioral therapists specifically. i mean correct me if im wrong but i never heard of a psychologist having the authority to diagnose a disease but more so evaluate and interpret ones personality which can be supportive in a MD?s decision. 

CBT & antidepressants combination are the professional standard to treat depression when severe but of course involving other measures like encouraging exercise or involving supportive factors such as friends and family involvement increases success rate of remission for a depressive episode. 
despite it all, depression (like all mental issues) is very difficult to treat. 


i have no idea what your last paragraph is about but if you rly  interpreted me saying ppl who don?t receive  professionally help have no room to call themselves depressed and called me pathetic over then  wow i?m sorry ur this incredibly difficult to have a common discussion with. it?s not insulting to have a convo with different views, in fact it?s immature if it is.
if anything i was encouraging those  to receive medical help if one thinks they are depressed, that?s why all these options are there. but i can, at the same time, believe people may self-diagnose themselves as depressed when actually they clinically aren?t and need a different change in mindset. obviously both scenarios are incredibly possible.


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## Mooglet (Oct 3, 2018)

Last year I was really depressed. I stopped going to all my classes and stayed in my dorm for literally days on end, only leaving to get food... I would try to go to class again but by the time I gained the willpower to force myself to go it was way too late.. I had to withdraw from the semester by way of medical leave. Luckily the assistant dean was great help and she understood depression p well, and I am very grateful for her. I started seeing a therapist as well, and I was able to start taking medication for my depression and anxiety.

I?m back at college now, and this semester has been one of the greatest so far, and my mental health has never been better. There are days where i feel depressed- but that?s relatively normal, I think. For everyone.


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## cheerleader (Oct 4, 2018)

i have a mood disorder (bipolar I with psychotic features) but i was misdiagnosed with depression before


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## f11 (Oct 4, 2018)

i pretty sure i have severe depression but im literally going to see a therapist for the first time this week LMAO


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## Kaiaa (Oct 4, 2018)

I was diagnosed with depression in 2010 and was put on medicine for it. In 2013 I began to realize I think my doctor may have misdiagnosed me. It was more about the awful situation I was in during those years that...for a lack of better wording "zombified" me to the world. I had met a really good friend once who helped me get through that situation and leave. I went on to make a recovery. TBT actually played a huge part in my recovery and will always hold a special place in my heart for that.

I do however, have anxiety attacks which come on randomly sometimes when I get intrusive thoughts, but they're usually triggered when people are yelling or fighting. Which is probably why I try so hard to be a peacekeeper between friends. 

Anyway, I'm here for anyone who would like to talk or needs someone to turn to. Please don't be ashamed of what you're feeling, I would like to give back to the community what the community has given to me if anyone should ever need it.


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## calamitybot (Oct 5, 2018)

I've been lazy and depressed ever since I hit puberty. It's not a big problem for me anymore, since I'm used to it. I don't think of myself as a "victim" or anything. Also, I went off of my prozac about a month ago and I've been a lot less productive, but I feel like I can think more deeply and emotionally instead of being a medicated drone.

Of course, it varies for each person if they should be medicated or not. I don't want to delve into TBT unsafe topics, but "alternative medicine" has done so much more for me than the prescription drugs doctors shove down my throat. If you're into that sort of thing.



f11 said:


> i pretty sure i have severe depression but im literally going to see a therapist for the first time this week LMAO



Therapists are really hit and miss. If you live in a big town, it shouldn't be too hard to find a good one. If you live in a small town, good luck lol

- - - Post Merge - - -

I forgot to mention that I'm transgender, and that transgenderism has played a significant part in association with my mental health. If anybody needs some advice about transgenderism and mental health or just wants to talk, be sure to reply! I've got a lot to say about it, as the two are indisputably linked. 

I know that if I was on hormones and could get top surgery, I would definitely be a more fulfilled person.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Mr. Cat said:


> I avoid people because of how rude they are to everybody they supposedly like behind their back. And that leaves me alone a lot. Which isn't a problem, but I've learned that it's really hard to get very far in life without any personal contacts.



I can partly relate to you. I don't avoid people in general, but I only choose to be around people who I know care about me (which is easy, since I'm homeschooled, lol). The vast majority of people I've ever met are all pricks, which sounds really edgy, I'm aware. I wish that I wasn't this way, but if I were able to get along with everybody I know of, it would completely change and/or hinder my personality, way of thinking, and identity. What I'm saying is that I'm not a people pleaser, I'm an edgy punk, lol.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Corrie said:


> I haven't been diagnosed but I'm pretty dang sure I have it to some degree. Last year I was really bad in the winter where I easily skipped lots of my classes to just stay in bed because I didn't think getting up would be worth it. It was really bad where I almost failed a class cause I wouldn't hand in assignments either.
> 
> Luckily that strength of depression is gone at least for now but i do get in sad moods of despair where I just think I'm a horrible person and nobody wants me and I'm better off dead, etc. But it comes and goes in waves.



I'm really against "the man" and establishments and all, but if you're able to, you should probably get a diagnosis. If you're still in highschool in the USA, and not college, there's this thing called a 504 that basically says to your teachers and school, "I have a mental disorder, and I should receive special treatment for it, like longer due dates et cetera." I wouldn't know anything about it, since my school basically just didn't give two sh1ts about me (i left it for an online school lol) but you should at least talk to your school counselor about it.


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## visibleghost (Oct 6, 2018)

Tessie said:


> what the heck lol, i didn?t even mean to hit a nerve with you why are you so offended and aggressive.
> i wasn?t even trying to be patronizing. many doctors prescribe antidepressants outside of their specialty, i see it all the time, so that?s the only reason why i said hopefully one who specializes in mental disorders to do the diagnosing and prescribing for best/accurate treatment. i think more so psychologist is an umbrella term, bc i referred to behavioral therapists specifically. i mean correct me if im wrong but i never heard of a psychologist having the authority to diagnose a disease but more so evaluate and interpret ones personality which can be supportive in a MD?s decision.
> 
> CBT & antidepressants combination are the professional standard to treat depression when severe but of course involving other measures like encouraging exercise or involving supportive factors such as friends and family involvement increases success rate of remission for a depressive episode.
> ...



did you read the part where i said this is how it works in sweden and it's what the different educations are and lead to here. psychologist is a specific term and psychologists are definitely qualified to diagnose people. regardless of the exact words that are used in other countries, what i said about depression being diagnosed in a very short time (when it is obvious that it's depression blah blah blah) is true.

i don't think you're understanding my point but whatever, everyone should just go to their mental health professional and work out an individual treatment plan that works for them lol so it's not really a problem. i was just saying that cbt isn't always the best treatment but maybe it works better for some people, especially if they're struggling with a depressive episode.

i wasn't trying to call you specifically pathetic, i'm sorry if it came across that way. i meant that gatekeeping depression and saying that someone isn't depressed because that person is Actually Depressed and Knows Everything is pathetic, rude and stupid. i'm not accusing you of doing it, it's just something that i often see.

idk exactly what people with mild or suspected depression should do or what they really are but imo the line between depressed and not depressed isn't very well defined in all cases. sure, a change in attitude might be all someone needs but it might also just be a really insensitive thing to say.

- - - Post Merge - - -



calamitybot said:


> I've been lazy and depressed ever since I hit puberty. It's not a big problem for me anymore, since I'm used to it. I don't think of myself as a "victim" or anything. Also, I went off of my prozac about a month ago and I've been a lot less productive, but I feel like I can think more deeply and emotionally instead of being a medicated drone.
> 
> Of course, it varies for each person if they should be medicated or not. I don't want to delve into TBT unsafe topics, but "alternative medicine" has done so much more for me than the prescription drugs doctors shove down my throat. If you're into that sort of thing.
> 
> ...



honestly i want to go off my meds just to see what happens but i know it's a really bad idea so i won't. i would probably just get worse again which would literally kill me but idk i have been medicated for so long  and i just want to see what would happen if i weren't.

therapists really really are a hit or miss. the last few months i've met so many different psychologists, nurses, doctors, counselors and therapists (... my transfer isn't going very smoothly) and it's extremely exhausting to meet so many different people but it's also fairly easy to tell if someone is going to be okay to work with from just the first session.


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## Bowie (Jul 24, 2019)

I haven’t been formally diagnosed but I have depressive episodes frequently, yes. I’ve been going through one for the past several weeks, as a matter of fact, and I just try and use it as much as I can. For me, negativity is always opportunity, so I don’t try to hinder it and I’ve never considered taking medication for it or anything like that. If I wanted to die I would do it.


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## Bcat (Jul 24, 2019)

We're all depressed. why do you think we're here?


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## Buttonsy (Jul 24, 2019)

I haven't been diagnosed with depression (I'm not really against self-diagnosis in a lot of cases, I just don't feel prepared to do it myself) but I do experience depression in some form (as in, I experience the feeling of feeling depressed quite regularly, but I don't know if it's major depressive disorder or if it's caused by a different disorder or health problem)

It's not as consistent as my anxiety, my anxiety is everyday but my feelings of depression are just usually there for maybe a week or two at a time and then disappear for a while, but it really messes me up when it's here. My house gets so messy ioefnwinhi


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## LadyDestani (Jul 24, 2019)

Yes, I have depression. I've never been officially diagnosed, but my mom and brother have so I'm familiar with the disorder and the symptoms enough to recognize it in myself. My case is not as severe as theirs, though. I'm usually still able to function and push through the depression when necessary so I don't take meds or feel a need for treatment. There are days where I just can't force myself to get out of bed and face the world. On those days, I use my sick time to take off work and recuperate.


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## Psydye (Jul 24, 2019)

I think so? I mean, I'm on Abilify.


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## Midoriya (Jul 24, 2019)

xRileyx said:


> Used to have severe depression, but I overcame it and other things pretty much on my own.



Update on this.  I’m actually on Abilify and an antidepressant and have been for awhile, but neither of them affect me that much anymore because I don’t get severely depressed anymore.  I may become lonely if none of my friends talk to me for a bit, but I know they’re just busy at times and that’s normal.  During those times I usually just watch anime, play video games, or do something on my own anyway.

But actually, I’ve talked to my psychiatrist about it and I’m set to be getting myself off of both Abilify and my antidepressant within the next year.  Then I’ll be medicine free for the rest of my life!


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## Oldcatlady (Jul 24, 2019)

unsure but i'm leaning towards no. i have periods of time when i'm really sad for no reason, lose interest in all my hobbies, don't want to reply to anyone and can't put my finger on why. i'm content with my life most of the time so even if i do have it it's mild.


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## Pondo (Jul 25, 2019)

i do, and i was diagnosed when i was 14
it was after my parents' divorce though & it hit me hard

i'm better now though & i'm on medication :^)


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## Saylor (Jul 25, 2019)

I don't think so. I do have an anxiety disorder, and there was a time last summer where I was having panic attacks and that led to a period where I was just constantly terrified and I was convinced I was going to die for some reason. Everything felt really foggy and I could hardly bring myself to eat or leave the house. I was diagnosed as having reactive depression but I haven't experienced anything like the way I was feeling since then. I still have days sometimes where I struggle to get things done due to crying spells or overthinking or a lack of motivation, but it's nothing like it was last year and they're all things that I attribute to anxiety.


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## visibleghost (Jul 25, 2019)

i've been on a new medication since february and it has helped me so much, it's crazy how i can be happy and have energy now and also i'm not suicidal for the first time in over 7 years so like??? epic win


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## radical6 (Jul 26, 2019)

No


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## Bizhiins (Jul 26, 2019)

I?ve never taken medication, but I?ve been depressed for about the past year. Mainly because my grandma (who raised me) died of a painful cancer, and my relationship is not working out. I?m seeing a therapist now though and she wants me to get on meds


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## sej (Jul 26, 2019)

im ok most of the time but there are moments where i feel sad for no reason and life doesn’t feel real? idk how to explain it, but i’m pretty sure it’s just mood swings and normal teenager things. so no i guess


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## heyimsobored (Jul 26, 2019)

I don't think so. There are times I do feel sad, but I think I'm just having one of those days normally


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## mnm (Jul 26, 2019)

I've been on "california rocket fuel" for social anxiety, severe depression and insomnia since I was twelve. Cannabis also helps a lot but shhh


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## jiny (Jul 26, 2019)

i dont think so. i get sad every once in a while, sometimes more days than others but i dont think it's depression, just a sadness that just lingers around


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## moonbyu (Jul 27, 2019)

no. i feel sad when i remember something and i feel sad forever on some days, but i'm sure it's not depression.


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## Sweetley (Aug 14, 2019)

Well, I do feel down and sad every once in a while, but I wouldn't say that I have depression. I guess 
it's more likely having bad days.


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## dasheranne (Aug 14, 2019)

I do have depression, but I take medication for it so its not as bad now. My family seems prone to anxiety and depression, but I also have PTSD which sure doesn't help in that department, heh. I'm doing what I can though!


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## dumplen (Aug 14, 2019)

I think sometimes I get caught up in my head, and get stuck there...
That being said I am no longer on anti-depressant medication and don't think I will ever be. It wasn't the solution for me.


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## 2kimi2furious (Aug 14, 2019)

I have depression and anxiety, but I'm on meds so I can manage it. Doesn't make it go away, just gives me the energy and calmness to not be as sad/anxious all the time. Still have some bad days, but when I work at it and remember to take my meds, I do really well.


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## Weiland (Aug 14, 2019)

I have suffered from it throughout my life. I still do, what with my (probably) final diagnosis being schizoaffective; which is essentially a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, thus meaning I will get pretty bad depression every now and again. But, there is an upside: I've been on antipsychotics and mood stabilisers since 2015 (I was about 16), and last year I was prescribed antidepressants. I still get episodes, but nowhere near as bad.


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## Stalfos (Aug 14, 2019)

I've been suffering from depression since I was 10 years old. It's nowhere near as severe as it was during my late teens to my mid-twenties but it's still always present and affects me in probably more ways than I know.


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## CambriaSpeedRacer (Aug 14, 2019)

Possibly? I definitely have anxiety, but we couldn't investigate the whole depression thing because there was no way I would be able to focus on my emotions with my schedule.

So yeah, still investigating.


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## ams (Aug 15, 2019)

Yep I do. I'm on medication though so I don't actually have depressive episodes anymore. I could not feel more stupid for waiting to go on it until I was 23. I had my first MDE when I was 17. Undergrad could have been so much easier.


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## Cwynne (Aug 15, 2019)

I have really bad depression, worse than I've admitted to anyone in a long time.

I was first diagnosed years ago, and during that time I was very vocal/obvious about it. The way people react is not fun. The kinds of therapy I was put in were not fun; my first therapy experience was extremely traumatic.

I've been out of therapy for about two years now, and not at all by choice. I can't afford it personally and my parents think I'm "good enough" so they're not going to pay for it haha. I've tried some free online therapy options and they've been okay but just not what I always need necessarily. 

To anyone in a similar situation to me?if you need some form of therapy or help or even just someone to talk to but can't afford it?https://www.7cups.com/ is a free emotional support site that connects you to people who have either gone through what you're dealing with or know how to help. You can browse through their list of "listeners" who are online and message one who seems like someone you could connect with (in your age group, specializes in what you're going through, etc). 
It also has forums and discussion groups if one-on-one isn't your thing, as well as tons of resources including meditation audios, breathing exercises, guided video therapy, and books, all from real, certified therapists. I cannot stress how extensive their help catalogue is, ranging from anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar disorder, LGBTQIA+ related issues, eating disorders, disability support, and much more.

This sounds like a promotion ahaha it's just something I've used and think could be helpful to others <3


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## RedTropicalPeachyFish (Aug 15, 2019)

I don't. So far as I remember, I ever haven't, maybe..
My life situation when I was a child and throughout the young teen was so awful with sever abuse physically, mentally and sexually. And after running away from where I had been living in, next the sever financial problem was always with young girl me. Sooo, when I look back half of my life, looks like my thinking process naturally goes the way like, "by doing what, can I resolve the situation? to be in better one?"
I think it's probably because my heart is not very tough, can't really bear with being in a mentally hard situation and just sitting around, like hiding deep down. Yeah, I don't think I can do that. So.. maybe naturally try to find the way to remove it - the issue.


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## 22lexi (Aug 16, 2019)

I don't and can't imagine what it must feel like to have to go through something like that. I know there are a lot of new online therapists and other resources which are good for affordability reasons and maybe also anxiety reasons!


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## Aquasplash (Aug 18, 2019)

I get mildly depressed occasionally. But thankfully it doesn't effect my life in a big negative way. One of my other mental health afflictions however does effect me, it's why you only ever see me once every few months, still struggling with it but I accept its never going to go away and I've learned to own it.


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## Celinalia (Sep 8, 2019)

well i got diagnosed four years ago with major depression disorder and it has still stuck with me. i go to a therapist twice every week and sometimes go to a psychiatrist. i'd say it's pretty severe but it's slowly starting to get better. it caused many more problems like anxiety, an eating disorder and self harm problems but yea i'm still living so life's great uwu


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## AlyssaAC (Sep 8, 2019)

I do, but it's very mild. Sometimes I don't even notice it at all, but recently I've gotten some help and I'm doing much better now. Plus, I'm really glad I did get some help, otherwise I would probably be still miserable. :/


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## MelloDimensions (Sep 8, 2019)

I'm not diagnosed, but I have dealt with certain things that have been traumatizing that definitely has made me depressed.  Its an absolutely awful feeling, and I do hope that those who know they have it, or feel they have it get the proper help.  Know also you can talk me if you need someone for that always.


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## LottieandSoul (Sep 8, 2019)

though I don't have depression I have gone through depressions. 
I struggled with disordered eating for two years to the point where I was 5'3 and weighed only 98 pounds but still thought I was fat. I felt like I was rarely happy and would only leave my room to use the bathroom or wash my face. 
I'm so much better now, and I'm so glad that I'm out of it because I am now as happy as I can be!
I go hiking and backpacking often, I have the sweetest boyfriend, and I can look at the mirror and be happy with myself. 
Do I think I learned from my experience? yes. Would I recommend someone does it or do it again? NO.
Do not do what I did. Nobody trusts me anymore. My friends have to check that I eat each day. D o n t man


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## CasualWheezer (Sep 8, 2019)

I don't think I have depression, but I know something is a bit off about me. I think it's more of self esteem and confidence issues more than anything else, but I've had times where I felt really unhappy about life and how I don't have a lot of friends that I can depend on. But I usually don't think that way most of the time. I have been put on the suicidal threat a few times, but those were years ago and I don't have any of those thoughts anymore.


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## Stella-Io (Sep 8, 2019)

Man after seeing the whole 'self diagnoses' topic I always question myself.



Spoiler: This got long oops



I do believe I had it in middle school my 7th grade year but the really stupid thing was, I genuinely thought depression came with puberty/growing up. I literally thought everyone, whether servere or mild, went throu some sort of depressive episode with low self esteem and challenging thoughts about themselves. Since I thought it was just a phase, I didn't talk about it at all, I hid it, I thought I would just roll throu it and make it out like nearly everyone else seems to have.

Spoiler alert: I didn't 'tough it out' like I thought I would. I pushed away friends I had, my grades fell badly, I was unable to focus in classes, I lost interest in all my hobbies that used to bring me joy, I dragged thou my days, didn't talk to anyone, I ate less because I had low self esteem. The only reason I got out of bed was because I had no choice, my parents would never have let me stay home just cause I didn't want to go to school. One time I briefly -I think it was only a few seconds- blacked out because I had skipped lunch that day. At first I didn't know why I had blacked out, I just remembered being very light headed, my vision goin in and out, losing hearing, struggling to swallow and feeling like I wanted to throw up. After a while it hit me that 'hey stupid, you didn't eat lunch, you don't eat food you feel bad'. It was this and when all my teachers had to have a conference with my parents about me failing all my classes that it finally hit me, 'hey maybe not everyone goes throu this, grades fall so bad that all 8 teachers need to have a conference with my parents, maybe not everyone blackouts due to not eating just one meal (I was also prob over heating at the same time) maybe not everyone goes throu depression when they're still going throu puberty'.

So I started to talk to a teacher I trusted about it. I told her how I felt and she really helped. I talked to another person about it, she was in the peer counseling classes at the school. I decided to eat because I hated the sensation of feeling light headed and what I felt before blacking out. I wasn't eating because I felt fat, but only skipping one meal didn't change my weight (I only skipped lunch at school because my parents weren't there to see me. I also ate less at dinner but didn't throw up cause they would see me and I tried to hide everything as much as I could). Everythin turned around and life got alot better. I made new friends who I was still friends with in the 8th grade year and one of them my freshman year of high school. I wasn't so hard on myself, and I started to enjoy things again.

Sometimes I worry that because I never went to a professional about it that it's not really cured, but I only feel this way when I'm extremely upset with myself. I'm still a little hard on myself, which is what I fear starts to trigger it again, but overall I'm much better then I was then.



I'm usually very tight lipped about sharing my experience because I felt ashamed of it, but over the years seeing more and more talking about it has made me feel more comfortable sharing with others. If anyone has actually read my frickin long essay I hope that it helps someone, and my DMs are always a few clicks away.


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## Sylvia (Sep 11, 2019)

Doing a lot better after I started taking medication. Took a long time for me to admit but I think I did have depression for a while.


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## YunaMoon (Sep 11, 2019)

No but I am bipolar


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## cornimer (Sep 11, 2019)

Vampnessa said:


> I am honestly unsure..... *snip*


Since I made this post a year ago, I've been going to therapy and I think the verdict is that I have seasonal depression (SAD) in the winter and sometimes get depressive moods at other times due to lack of confidence/environmental factors such as having no friends in my classes, but I don't have major depressive disorder or anything.


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## toadsworthy (Sep 11, 2019)

I took control of my depression this year, but I think it started years ago. Somedays I would be so upset with myself I would not be able to get out of bed and affected the things I liked. I'm finally in a place that i can make strides to better myself. I talked to my primary care provider who started me on an antidepressant and I have my first meeting with a therapist this month! I need one already because my job takes an emotional burden, but helping me sort out the stressors that add to my depression I think will be very helpful...


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## cIementine (Sep 11, 2019)

this year has been pretty rough for me mentally; i was on the pill for a few weeks at the very start of the year and suddenly became very anxious. despite stopping taking it, my anxiety has continued but was dismissed as just being a side effect even though it's still there, so i haven't really sought more help for it. i also think part of this is the belief that i'm making it up and don't really have it despite having the symptoms and it being quite debilitating at times. fortunately i've been able to manage it a lot more, but i've been learning to drive recently and i think it's really had a negative impact on my mental health because it's something that makes me feel very anxious and afraid; i dread my driving lessons for a week and can't focus while driving because i feel almost as though i'm not there, shake and my throat goes dry.

i think these experiences of anxiety and panic have generally contributed to my increasing depression, which isn't diagnosed because i don't feel confident enough to seek help despite it being recommended to me. i think this is partially because i don't want to admit to myself that it's there. it's been a very empty and isolating last few months where i've been struggling with existing and confidence. i think this is because i feel like i'm 'behind' my peers (don't have part-time work or a hobby, don't get out much, not very independent, find driving scary and an ordeal). the anxiety part of me is restless and adamant that i need to do something, anything, but the depressed part of me can't find the energy to do it, and convinces me that i shouldn't bother because it's hopeless and i can't do anything about it. i've always had some semblance of confidence in my self-image, academics, values and personal style, but that confidence seems increasingly fragile and trivial and i've come to realise it's not really there, particularly as my anxiety has made me feel a bit 'weak' and 'useless' (this is a self-perception thing not my views on other people who struggle with anxiety). i figured going back to school would make me feel better because it gives me purpose and routine, but i've actually felt a bit worse, which is unusual considering how much i usually enjoy school. my feelings seem to manifest themselves through irritation at myself and the people around me. 

sorry this post is very long-winded and personal and venty, but i figured it would be a good place to talk about it !


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## Stella-Io (Sep 12, 2019)

*pumpkins* If it helps any, I am with you on being behind peers. I'm 20 yrs old yet I can't go above 20 mph, driving gives me a headache literally everytime after I do a drive around the block, and I don't understand how my parents drive my to work seeing all these horrible drivers everywhere. I feel like my first time on the road alone I will get into an accident, not even from my fault. Other people I know already knew how to drive at like 14, have owned card and pay insurance and have their full permit, meanwhile I still have my learners.

I also don't get out alot, I don't have friends like that. I go shopping occasionally but that's the extent of me 'going out'. I don't do social things.

Take advantage that you don't have a job! I wasn't allowed to have a part time job while I was still in high school. After I graduated I still didn't get a job till I was 19. Honestly, jobs are such a nuisance, I need to get a different one because I never get enough hours. My manager treats me like crap and will cut my hours out of spite fully well knowing I do not sleep well. Just this week I have 2 days of work, and one of those days is a measly 5 hrs shift. That's nothing! My paycheck is gonna suck for that week.

It's fine if it isn't diagnosed, the fact that you can see you have signs is a good start. Knowing these signs, you can stop (most) when they happen. Take driving at your own pace, with your own study methods. Don't over exert yourself with it and remember to put your well being above anything else. If you need to step away from somethin, weather 10 mins or 10 months, do it for you. You'll feel better in the long run which will be better for you.


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## unravel (Sep 12, 2019)

Tbh I can't even tell dunno if I should be worried and go for therapy


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## Alyx (Oct 1, 2019)

I do have depression. It's moderate, sometimes severe, and I am on a new medication to control symptoms. I'm only on week two, and my doctor said it would start working after a month of use. It's so hard sometimes.


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## MapleCake (Oct 1, 2019)

Yes moderate to severe, along with moderate anxiety.
I actually am in the middle of a flare up right now. I force myself to continue my routines to help get me out of it. But because I feel so unmotivated, my husband helps pick up the slack so I dont feel like its always on my shoulders. 
I have a lot of fatigue that comes with it and my sleep can range from 10 minudes to days if I had the chance. Yes, I sometimes do thinking about harming myself but I am motivated by my children who need me and its helped me stay strong above it all.
Honestly, if I never had them, I dont know where I would be in life today.
My depression stems from childhood traumas that I still cope with today.
I have tried medication but it makes my symptoms worse, and my anxiety worse. 
Regardless, I think I have come a long way and have done well so far.

Also, I did try therapy in high school, but have since quit. I'm 25 now.


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## Reckoner (Oct 3, 2019)

badly.
i know that it's killing me and that i'm not safe alone anymore, but i've already given up on getting help.
i don't see the point


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## Katzenjammer (Nov 26, 2020)

Yes, and it's usually quite severe. I also have ptsd and generalized anxiety disorder. Both are pretty severe at times, but it sure doesn't help the depression matters any at all as they all feed one another. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was little. My parents took me to a psychologist early on after displaying behavior I can't even remember, that concerned my parents. For instance, I would stand in the corner and just cry sometimes for long periods of time. Upon further testing later on once it was available, there was a genetic component discovered that came from both sides of my family to where even if I consume 100% of the folate my body can, no matter what, it will never absorb more than half of what a person should have. Folate is actually a factor in my particular depression partially, so that's weird. I do take a supplement for it, which I'm thankful I'm able to do, but it's still very severe much of the time. My heart really goes out to everyone in this thread or anyone suffering from any mental illness or issues. <3


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## Neb (Nov 26, 2020)

I’ve had clinical depression since I was 10. My great grandma had depression and that was passed down to my mother. The symptoms peaked during my freshman year of high school. Every day was a slog and I couldn’t talk to anyone without being a blubbery mess. The symptoms are reduced when I use my antidepressants, but I revert back to that state whenever I’m without them. Sadly I haven’t received the kind of therapy needed to make living with depression easier.


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## Mr_Persona (Nov 26, 2020)

This is old and I voted maybe back then. But now I'm diagnosed with it since 2 years ago or 1 year ago.

	Post automatically merged: Nov 26, 2020

but I can't change my vote

Anyways it doesn't bother me and I still feel normal, just less motivated than I was in 2017.


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## saucySheep (Nov 26, 2020)

Idk. sometimes i genuinely dislike my life and really, really wish that i had a different one. then i remember that God has a plan for me and it'll be worth it in the end... if I didn't know the truth of the Bible then i'd have killed myself about a year ago.

so yeah, i've never been diagnosed, if i do have some of depression then i guess im able to handle it. 

Depression is a tricky thing. :/


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## Mezzanine (Nov 26, 2020)

Deleted


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## AppleBitterCrumble (Nov 26, 2020)

Honestly unsure.

I have days where I struggle and I feel alone and that I feel like a fraud because I hear all these stories that sound way worse than how I have it so I feel like I can't have anxiety, or depression, or an ED. But I have to remind myself that symptoms look different on everyone and just because someone else's anxiety/depression/ed looks different than mine doesn't mean that mine is invalid. 

I think when I am back on campus for college I am going to look into using their counseling services so I have a neutral 3rd party who has no previous biases of me so that way I have someone who I can just get all my thoughts out to. Because sometimes I just need to talk to really know how I'm feeling and that's why texting about it with my bf/friends is hard because I don't know how to say it in text.


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## amemome (Nov 26, 2020)

I do! I was on a medication for it for around 4 years and just came off of it due to my parents strong-arming me into doing so...
I think I'll be ok in the long run. My issues were more anxiety related and less depression, but I'm trying my best with my current situation. It's really helping that I've been mostly at home this year, and not interacting with strangers. hoping that as the word opens up, I'll also be able to get a new job/ move/ get medical autonomy.


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## deSPIRIA (Nov 27, 2020)

i edited my original post on this a while back, i dont remember why exactly probably because i had a different outlook on it or something
depending on the day it ranges from mild to severe. i was told by my psychiatrist that for me it will never really go away, it started in early childhood and was completely untreated for years so my brain has altered and is irreversible in that way, im pretty sure thats what i was told but i could be wrong about the whole science of it. i didnt know i was depressed until therapy was mandatory for me, i basically found out when a social worker told me that i looked incredibly sad which was something i didnt notice at the time. im not on any antidepressants and i havent been for a couple of years now, but i do take antipsychotics which also act as mood stabilizers. my mind is constantly very busy so its easy to distract myself from feeling down for some periods of time.


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## visibleghost (Nov 27, 2020)

Haha i thought i was doing better (because i am, thanks to medication) so together with my doctor we decided that i should go down in dose for one of my antidepressants. it's not good to take as much as i was taking with the combination of medications (basically you get very high levels of the medication in your blood) i was on so i was all like "cool ok let's do that, i'm good and besides when i started them i didn't notice a huge difference so let's gooo" and then i cried every single day (five times in one day :') ) after not crying for months, almost relapsed in my sh and wanted to kill myself because i was stressed about school. lol. i started taking my old dose a few days ago (without talking to my doctor but i'll have to give them a call soon) and i already feel better. i cannot believe i used to live like that and feel even worse like bro what the hell. i'd rather die than be unmedicated, i can't imagine what it would be like if i stopped taking the medication that i actually saw results with. i think i had forgotten how much depression sucks

basically i don't want to mess with my meds again. no thank u. 



lungs said:


> -snip-


idk your situation but i was basically told i was going to be like this forever and then i got on a combination of antipsychotics and two antidepressants that made an enormous difference in my depression. while i still have the disorder, it's manageable. just because you'll have to deal with it forever doesn't mean it will suck forever. idk but it just sounds like them telling you that wasn't great for you



AppleBitterCrumble said:


> Honestly unsure.
> 
> I have days where I struggle and I feel alone and that I feel like a fraud because I hear all these stories that sound way worse than how I have it so I feel like I can't have anxiety, or depression, or an ED. But I have to remind myself that symptoms look different on everyone and just because someone else's anxiety/depression/ed looks different than mine doesn't mean that mine is invalid.


it's generally unhelpful to compare your own issues to other people's issues, which you seem to know already hhh. but i just wanted to say that if you are suffering, you're suffering, right? no matter how bad other people have it, you're still struggling and would benefit from help. some disorders are often quite competitive (like EDs, generally) and it's difficult to just turn that voice off that tells you you need to be the worst to get help, but if it's possible to get away from thoughts like "i don't deserve treatment because..." or "other people have it worse so i can't have it that bad" it will help a lot. being kinder to yourself is a step towards shutting thoughts like that out.


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## ekcomyth (Nov 27, 2020)

don't we all have depression? those who say they don't are obviously lying. I mean, living in this kind of world promises depression at some point.


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## AppleBitterCrumble (Nov 27, 2020)

visibleghost said:


> Haha i thought i was doing better (because i am, thanks to medication) so together with my doctor we decided that i should go down in dose for one of my antidepressants. it's not good to take as much as i was taking with the combination of medications (basically you get very high levels of the medication in your blood) i was on so i was all like "cool ok let's do that, i'm good and besides when i started them i didn't notice a huge difference so let's gooo" and then i cried every single day (five times in one day :') ) after not crying for months, almost relapsed in my sh and wanted to kill myself because i was stressed about school. lol. i started taking my old dose a few days ago (without talking to my doctor but i'll have to give them a call soon) and i already feel better. i cannot believe i used to live like that and feel even worse like bro what the hell. i'd rather die than be unmedicated, i can't imagine what it would be like if i stopped taking the medication that i actually saw results with. i think i had forgotten how much depression sucks
> 
> basically i don't want to mess with my meds again. no thank u.
> 
> ...



Yeah I'd say I'm suffering, I don't want to misdiagnose though! I think that's another reason why seeing my college's counseling center could be of use to me because not only is it covered under my insurance, but also I just like want to know if I actually do have these things or if I just have symptoms/am making it to be a bigger deal than what it really is. Like I feel stuck because I don't want to downplay anything but I also don't want to invalidate people who actually deal with these things.


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## DinosaurDumpster (Nov 27, 2020)

I probably do have depression. I'm self-diagnosed, which I know isn't really the best way to figure things out, but knowing how I think and act, it's likely I have some sort of depression.

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety related issues since the 6th grade (I was about 10-11 years old). Surprisingly, nobody has seemed to notice that most of my time is spent crying myself to sleep and wanting to kill myself, but because of anxiety I'm too scared to even damage myself (even if I want to). At one point, my sister who I share a room with caught on to me crying in my sleep, so I trained myself to cry quietly.

Most of the time, I'd say i'm sleeping or not enjoying life. Most of the time when I'm laughing and smiling around people these days, i'm just faking it to try and pass off as being happy. Meanwhile on the inside i'm just hurting.

I'd say most of the reasons involving my anxiety and depression-related struggles now would probably be being forgotten in the past, the majority of my life being bullied, pushed aside, etc.
But the main reason was I was just in an awful relationship with a so-called "friend", who would use everything I hated about myself against me. Now I can't even make friends =,) (I never could but now I really can't, she was one of my first real friends)


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## EmmaFrost (Nov 27, 2020)

I have severe depression. I've taken meds for years and I have a therapist but it's still pervasive. It impacts my daily life. Every single day. I really don't know why I'm still here.


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## pochy (Nov 27, 2020)

Spoiler



i've had moderate/severe depression for the past 4 years.

i don't like to talk about it, but depression can be really inhabilitating, especially when i try to have something to look forward to. my exhaustion just takes over and i sleep alot, but my friends just think i'm lazy (haven't told them about me going therapy or anything).

it's embarassing when i can't complete basic tasks, but i really don't want to take antidepressants even though i've been prescribed some. i'm scared that i might not be able to function normally without them, so i might as well just keep trying to enduring on my own, even though i know that i probably won't get better like this


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## hakutaku (Nov 27, 2020)

I've had depression since I was 14 years old I think, I've never been diagnosed though. Paired with my anxiety it's really not good. Saps you of all motivation to do anything, hinders your confidence, makes you tired all the time but you can't sleep bc of the anxiety. It fluctuates a lot, usually it's easier to deal with in summer.


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## ting1984 (Nov 27, 2020)

I'm unsure, but my beloved husband believes he does.  Our depression is alleviated by being in each other's company.


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## Katzenjammer (Nov 27, 2020)

ekcomyth said:


> don't we all have depression? those who say they don't are obviously lying. I mean, living in this kind of world promises depression at some point.


No, we don't all have depression, especially considering how many different types of depression there are, and their various causes. That's like saying, don't we all have *insert disease or injury here*? Sadness and depression are very different things.


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## visibleghost (Nov 27, 2020)

pochy said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...


are you able to function as it is right now, without the medication? or are you struggling with most things in your daily life, making every day hard? 

being afraid of being medicated because you might not be able to be without them is, i wouldn't say silly, but to me it does not make sense. going off medication doesn't make your brain much worse than before (generally) it's like being unmedicated in the first place, you're just unused to feeling terrible so it might feel worse. 

i think you should reconsider taking antidepressants. not all of them work great for everyone, but if you can even get a little effect it will be worth it. many people can get off medication after a while but there's no shame in needing medication for years or the rest of your life. 

of course, in some countries there is a money aspect to it so i get that it's not easy for everyone to get medication.

also i totally get that it's your personal decision and obviously it's up to you, i just think you should know that life doesn't have to be miserable and medication can make it much easier. that's all ok yee


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## BluebearL (Nov 27, 2020)

I have pretty serve anxiety which has caused me to go into periods of depression before and it's pretty rough. I also have event depression so I never fully enjoy things like birthday, Christmas etc. I have very low self esteem, particularly as a result of my over-self conscious mind that questions everything I do. Corona certainly hasn't been good for me, I have being trying to recover ever since but I would say I am doing alright at the moment. Not experiencing depression right now but definitely anxiety as per usual. It's really strange when I experience both at the same time, it can make me come across as aggressive but yeah I feel nothing yet everything at the same time when that happens. I tend to become very shut down in the worst of it. I am very lucky to have lots of friends and family that have been incredibly supportive though, I certainly don't have it as bad as others in terms of mental health but the anxiety can be crippling.


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## visibleghost (Nov 27, 2020)

ekcomyth said:


> don't we all have depression? those who say they don't are obviously lying. I mean, living in this kind of world promises depression at some point.


not really. this is probably at some level a joke but yeah.
depression is a mental illness. it's extremely normal to experience symptoms of depression, that's just life and everyone capable of emotion will feel sad, anxious, lonely or depressed at some point. it's when it starts affecting your daily life to a certain extent that it's diagnosable. 

that being said, it's incredibly easy to be diagnosed with depression. it doesn't have to be "that bad" to be diagnosed. so a lot of people do qualify for a diagnosis, that's true. it is far from everyone though.

i also think the mindset "everyone is depressed" is kind of harmful, in some ways. first off, it invalidates depression as a "that's just how everyone feels"-thing, which isn't really the case, secondly it is extremely negative (i don't blame you, though) and sort of just kills the vibe we try to get about recovery. this world is far from perfect but existence does not have to be a miserable hell of suffering. it's hard to believe when you're in it and it's difficult to understand the extent of suffering people go through when you're not, but like... you can actually be not depressed. it's wild, but true

idk if this makes sense but Basically. depression bad. but not everyone has it. thx bye


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## pochy (Nov 27, 2020)

visibleghost said:


> are you able to function as it is right now, without the medication? or are you struggling with most things in your daily life, making every day hard?
> 
> being afraid of being medicated because you might not be able to be without them is, i wouldn't say silly, but to me it does not make sense. going off medication doesn't make your brain much worse than before (generally) it's like being unmedicated in the first place, you're just unused to feeling terrible so it might feel worse.
> 
> ...


thanks for your reply  i do struggle quite a bit. sometimes, like when i skip a lecture, i blame it on me being lazy. it's hard to differentiate where the laziness stops and where the depression begins. so sometimes, my depression feels like a "personal choice" (even if it isn't) in the way where you can choose to be lazy or not if you know what i mean? sorry i hope i'm not being confusing

sometimes i really want to think that it's just me being lazy and that's why i don't need antidepressants. 
i think most of all i'm just afraid they won't work and it was just my laziness and bad attitude the whole time. even though i was diagnosed so that's a dumb point but still i do think alot of my behavior does point towards me needing them if i like it or not though. what you said about going off medication does relax me more on the notion of taking them. it is pretty tiring always feeling low, and if medication helps take those lows away, i think that would really help me (especially at school) but i'm still always kinda worried they won't work. i also feel better knowing that lots of people online take medication,but mental health in my country is more of a taboo, even though we have free healthcare. i do feel like talking to my mom about meds again tho, maybe she could get me some...


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## Dunquixote (Nov 27, 2020)

I have mild or moderate depression (well it was diagnosed as that) but there have been a lot of times it was/is severe. I have asperger’s, OCD, and severe anxiety (general and social anxiety) as well. They all have been extremely debilitating. >< I cannot think of let alone find a job that is accommodating to it. :/


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## Stella-Io (Nov 27, 2020)

Still don't know what vote to pick.

It's been a while since I last posted in here. I said I had it in my middle school days and I believe I had another depressive thing for a couple of months back at my old job. Idk if I should call it an episode or not. I can't remember when it started (cause ya know depression makes your memory funky) but I know I ATLEAST had it starting in November and it finally ended in late June. I remember noticing the signs late into it, like May-ish. Loss of appetite, super loss of motivation, I didn't enjoy my hobbies anymore, general unhappiness with my life, bad thoughts, loss of sleep, easily irritable/lose patience easily yet still having a down mood alot. It sucked. I didn't realize how bad it was until I had quit that job and didn't get another job like 2 months later. Once I quit and a while after that I realized 'holy crap that was bad'.

Once again, I'm still afraid that because I was never officially diagnosed that it'll come back. It's not like I can exactly get diagnosed anyway. My family did not notice (and this time I wasn't exactly hiding it), or they simply did not care cause they did nothing about it. My parents don't understand depression, they think it just makes people angry and do stupid things. The first time I was depressed they were just mad at me. The latest time they saw that I was miserable and but only really reacted when I was irritated by getting mad at me saying I needed to get some patience.

I'm fine now, and I guess the only thing I can do to prevent getting that depressed again is to not let myself stay in that situation that causes it. I should have quit my job MONTHS sooner than I did, but I didn't until I got fed up with it. I need to cut myself away from situations and places that cause me that much misery before it gets bad, and be always actively looking at my mental health.


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## xara (Nov 28, 2020)

sadly, yes. i was diagnosed back when i was in middle school and while i wouldn’t necessarily say that it’s _severe_, it’s still incredibly deliberating. i’m constantly dealing with suicidal thoughts, irritability, fatigue, etc, which burdens not just me, but everyone around me, and i’m ashamed of that. most days, i find myself unable to complete the simplest of tasks and i can’t even begin to articulate just how much i loathe myself for it. depression has robbed me of a good quality of life and while this sounds awful, a part of me wishes that it stemmed from something like a tumour or a cyst, rather than a chemical imbalance, as at least that way, i might actually feel like my state of mind is valid. however, i’ve been consistently medicated for a little over a year now and while my existence is still exhausting, treatment has thankfully helped a little bit. but still, depression has reduced me to only being able to exist, rather than actually living, and i would give _anything_ for things to be different.


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## Romaki (Nov 28, 2020)

Interesting that I voted on this with maybe. I got diagnosed last year and have been on medication since then. It really changed my life, I'm so happy I'm capable of doing things again. Even basic things like hygiene.


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## neoqueenserenity (Nov 28, 2020)

I voted _other_.
I had dysthymia majority of my teenage years. I took antidepressants and went to therapy several times a month. I loved my therapist, she was great but my insurance only covered the expenses until I was 18 (definitely needed to see her even after age 18). My antidepressants were also great, but I realized they were numbing my emotions versus helping me actually cope with them, so some of my intimate relationships actually suffered from that. My body also suffered because of my emotions, self harm and substance abuse are very real problems. I was hospitalized at one point, but that is a whole story of its own.

Am I still depressed? I get sad every now and then, but nowhere near the low points of my life. I think my anxiety in the last couple of years has moderately spiked more than anything due to my job and family-related issues, though. I've been considering finally going to see a doctor and maybe start some meds, I just haven't done it yet.


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## eseamir (Nov 29, 2020)

I've struggled on and off with depression for a super long time, it got particularly bad when I was in my last year at university (almost failed out of my degree because of it) and then died down a bit until last year when I ended up having to go to therapy Twice for an emergency set of sessions because of being massively emotionally dragged down by some super sh***y relationship issues going on that ended up with me considering driving off a cliff

in my personal experience my anxiety is usually my mental health thing that wins in a lot of situations and I'm 100% sure that's why I'm still around today (things got pretty dark for a very long time when I was studying, lots of academic pressure and deeply rooted impostor syndrome that increased feelings of low self-esteem) because I could never get past the anxiety spiral that happened whenever I was actually dealing with suicidal thoughts

I'm doing a lot better now and I feel a lot more stable a lot of the time but occasionally I'll still have void days where everything feels super far away and like nothing I do actually matters but I've got a really supportive fiance now which is super helpful and I've also learned a lot of good strategies for managing myself from my therapist (she was a gem, constantly dealing with my emotional pisces bulls**t)


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## visibleghost (Nov 29, 2020)

neoqueenserenity said:


> I voted _other_.
> I had dysthymia majority of my teenage years. I took antidepressants and went to therapy several times a month. I loved my therapist, she was great but my insurance only covered the expenses until I was 18 (definitely needed to see her even after age 18). My antidepressants were also great, but I realized they were numbing my emotions versus helping me actually cope with them, so some of my intimate relationships actually suffered from that. My body also suffered because of my emotions, self harm and substance abuse are very real problems. I was hospitalized at one point, but that is a whole story of its own.
> 
> Am I still depressed? I get sad every now and then, but nowhere near the low points of my life. I think my anxiety in the last couple of years has moderately spiked more than anything due to my job and family-related issues, though. I've been considering finally going to see a doctor and maybe start some meds, I just haven't done it yet.



sorry to hear that you've suffered a lot, that sucks.
i have a question, how do you feel about the diagnosis dysthymia? a psychologist diagnosed me with it when i was 18 and i felt really offended (.... don't laugh but i read on swedish wikipedia (specified because english wikipedia seems to have a different definition..? and no i don't read the dsm) that it's less severe than mdd and i was like Excuse Me don't come into my brain and disrespect my depression) but it might be something that actually isn't an "offensive" diagnosis when i look back at it. i always considered myself chronically depressed rather than dysthymic or something else, but like, how do you feel about the different labels? idk if this made sense but yyhhjrfd


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## LadyDestani (Nov 29, 2020)

I previously wrote that I had mild depression that I was able to control on my own, but these past two years have taken a major downward turn. 2019 was easily the most difficult year for me and I pretty much shut down emotionally as my only means of surviving. I lost all hope in everything that year, felt like I had nothing to look forward to, and couldn't find joy in anything. I was never suicidal but I wished for death constantly.

Towards the end of 2019 and into the beginning of 2020, I started to realize the toll that my emotional shutdown was taking on my marriage and I resolved to try to correct that. Unfortunately, just as I was starting to open myself back up again, I got hit with some major family health issues and COVID-19 happened. The stresses from this year have not helped me cope very well, but I've at least managed to put on a good face and push through it all so far.

I still feel no hope, no excitement, no joy. I know I've reached a point where I need to see someone professionally, but time and money are always an issue. Time, especially, is the biggest factor because between my job and taking care of my family this year, I've had no time to do anything for myself. I'm hoping maybe sometime next year things will get back on track enough so that I can at least consult the free counselors that my employer provides and get some idea of where to go next.


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## deleted (Nov 30, 2020)

I feel like I may have anxiety. I’ve never been tested or diagnosed, though, so I don’t want to self-diagnose.

My boyfriend has diagnosed depression and takes medication for it. I love him very much. I feel like people with depression are stigmatized to hell for no reason. Y’all are doing great.


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## Fjoora (Dec 3, 2020)

These statistics are positively staggering to see, but I'm actually not surprised.
I've just watched a podcast recently on this topic, and it can actually shed some light on it.
You see, there have already been polls conducted on this sight that conclude that around eighty percent of the population on these forums are female, and if you've taken a look at the recent depression rates among young females, you'd be pretty bummed to see that it's massively on the rise. Nothing has been stated conclusively as to why, but it seems to coincide perfectly with the rise of social media. As soon as children had access to it, it was a detriment on their lives, but you can hear more about it at this link:


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## visibleghost (Dec 3, 2020)

Fjoora said:


> These statistics are positively staggering to see, but I'm actually not surprised.
> I've just watched a podcast recently on this topic, and it can actually shed some light on it.
> You see, there have already been polls conducted on this sight that conclude that around eighty percent of the population on these forums are female, and if you've taken a look at the recent depression rates among young females, you'd be pretty bummed to see that it's massively on the rise. Nothing has been stated conclusively as to why, but it seems to coincide perfectly with the rise of social media. As soon as children had access to it, it was a detriment on their lives, but you can hear more about it at this link:



I have never liked the narrative "social media/the internet is the cause of depression" but maybe that's just me. I think it is an oversimplification of a huge issue that has loads of different causes, and for some is purely brain chemistry or past trauma. Don't get me wrong, I am sure social media has an impact on a lot of people with varying severity of depression, but calling it a main cause just doesn't sit right with me and it feels like a "just get off Instagram and you will be fine" sort of thing.

I know social media has never contributed to my own depression in any significant way and I feel extremely offended when someone basically tells me my disorders are Society's Fault or social media or whatever thing that is trendy to blame mental illness in youth on at the given moment.

In some ways, it is a little bit like saying "people with EDs want to be thin because they want to be pretty", it is a gross oversimplification of an issue that is so much more complex than that and if it was "that easy" it wouldn't be such a large issue as it is.

I'm not saying social media isn't problematic, I just don't think it should be seen as the big cause of mental illness.


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## jiny (Dec 6, 2020)

i replied to this thread last year and i don’t really think my answer has changed all that much. but i have found myself a lot sadder than normal these past few months. it might be because of the whole covid thing because it has had such a big impact on my mental health. i don’t want to self diagnose and say i have depression but i sometimes feel maybe i do. i kinda want to get checked out by a professional to see if maybe i do have it, but it would probably be a mild case of it tbh. but hopefully when covid finally ends my mental health will get better. online school and the stress it gives me makes me so unmotivated to do my work and sometimes it is hard to get out of bed and go to my classes. i do feel sometimes harmful thoughts but it’s usually in the moment when i’m sad then i look back on it and it’s just like, i’m really glad i didn’t do anything harmful to myself


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## avieators (Dec 8, 2020)

i was diagnosed w a general anxiety disorder last year and had been feeling the effects of both that and depression for far longer! my anxiety manifests in the form of bursts of anger, which then taper off into a empty feeling, which then leads to the depression...i have to rest a lot throughout the day just bc i feel so tired all the time. anxiety keeps me awake most of the night, it's completely ruined a healthy sleep schedule (i go to bed at like,,,7-8ish in the morning ) i am seeing a doctor but a lot of my issues now are behavioral which requires therapy and thats not possible for me right now  edit: this year in particular has been a plague on my mental health bc i hate to see ppl suffering and be unable to do anything,,,between the pandemic and the protests its just been a constant drain on my energy, not to mention a lot of stuff happening in my social lives, both online and offline


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## neoqueenserenity (Dec 8, 2020)

visibleghost said:


> sorry to hear that you've suffered a lot, that sucks.
> i have a question, how do you feel about the diagnosis dysthymia? a psychologist diagnosed me with it when i was 18 and i felt really offended (.... don't laugh but i read on swedish wikipedia (specified because english wikipedia seems to have a different definition..? and no i don't read the dsm) that it's less severe than mdd and i was like Excuse Me don't come into my brain and disrespect my depression) but it might be something that actually isn't an "offensive" diagnosis when i look back at it. i always considered myself chronically depressed rather than dysthymic or something else, but like, how do you feel about the different labels? idk if this made sense but yyhhjrfd



Thank you for that. It sucked going through it, but definitely shaped me to be the person I am today. I never thought I'd say it, but I wouldn't change it. Days of my chest physically aching because of this nagging sadness, sometimes even for no reason it seemed like, feeling like I could cry or breakdown at the drop of a hat, harboring all those feelings.. it really made me appreciate what I have today. Its wishful thinking, but I hope everyone can take the bad and make it into something good some day.

I never really felt like the label wasn't accurate. I think I'm understanding what you're explaining though, because it can be hard to put a label on mental illness. It has so many different views and ways to diagnose/treat in other countries, it's definitely not a black and white thing but has many grey areas in between. I do slightly feel it can be a temporary diagnoses depending on the situation, like a gateway diagnoses that can be managed with medication/counseling, or escalate into more severe depression which you may have experienced. I'm no psychiatrist though, I'll always advocate for getting second opinions


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## Galaxite (Dec 9, 2020)

I have major depression, major anxiety, and ADHD. What a wonderful combo (not ;- I've had ADHD since I was born, depression since puberty, and anxiety since I graduated high school.


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## Croconaw (Feb 7, 2021)

Years ago, I used to think so. However, I’ve gotten much better recently. A lot of stuff in general went down in 2020 but it has helped me.


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## Jam86 (Feb 7, 2021)

i don't think i am, my mum does though 

idk why, apparently i seem depressed but tbh, i'm not fully sure what it means to be depressed so i'm always thinking "how could i be depressed if i'm always happy?" 
but yeah, idk what it actually means but my mum thinks i have depression

she also thinks i have serious anxiety but i'm not sure about that either 
like i'm shy if that's what she means but i'm pretty stupid so i'm not sure


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## BluebearL (Feb 7, 2021)

To be honest I am not entirely sure. I have very high anxiety which causes me to go into shorter periods of depression. I have certainly been depressed in an unhealthy way before, to the point where my Mum asked me if I needed to go on anti-depressants. That was during the teenage years a while ago so idk. Unfortunately, anxiety has many of the same symptoms/outward impacts as depression so taking tests to find out doesn't really tell me anything. Regardless of whether or not I do have depression, my main issue is 100% my anxiety. It is pretty high and has been debilitating throughout my life. I think that this is what causes me to then go into depression when I have been going through so much anxiety. Thankfully I do have very supportive friends and family and have been getting help for a while now. Wouldn't wish it on anyone though, there truly needs to be more awareness given how common mental health is. The impacts need to be recognized in everyday life.


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## JemAC (Feb 7, 2021)

I picked no as its my response whenever I'm asked this question and because most of the time I don't believe I am but I suppose its pretty subjective seen as I am actually prescribed anti-depressants (which I don't take). In general I'm mostly happy but not very open about my feelings, my response is to always tell people I'm okay even if I'm not as I never like to burden anyone else. I got prescribed the meds due to having a long term health condition and because I'm pretty pessimistic I think my doctors thought I was suffering emotionally from my health problems but really I only feel low when it gets in the way of life, other then that I try to look on the bright side.


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## MiniPocketWorld (Feb 8, 2021)

Since december of 2020 i think i can confidently say im depressed. Not pandemic related. Not surprising to me considering my history of anxiety and chronic pain. Its just been more noticeable to me personally. If i was to see a professional im sure they would quickly agree.


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## xSuperMario64x (Feb 8, 2021)

wish I could change my vote. used to be moderate/mild but it's been severe for almost a year now lol 


(dw about me tho my arctic fox plush and little waluigi have healing powers so I'm good)


edit: I saw someone mention dysthymia so I looked it up and? im like 179% that's what I have?? at least that gives me a little hope of having it treated ;~;


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## Shawna (Feb 9, 2021)

No, but sometimes I think I have an anxiety disorder and/or I am sensitive and get upset easily.  I am on the spectrum, and it can go hand-in-hand with mood and whatnot. :/


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## Dinosaurz (Feb 9, 2021)

Best thing about people bringing these types of posts back is I can see how depressed I was 2 years ago lol


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## kusariyaro (Nov 24, 2021)

visibleghost said:


> more and more people are depressed and it seems that depression is here 2 stayyyy and will keep affecting more and more people!! so i was how many of you all would consider urselves depressed bc thats fun to talk about idk.
> just vote what you think, i dont care if youre 12 and sad often or if u have 30 therapists who all agree that youre the most depressed person theyve ever met, depression is depression so just vote whatever u feel like.
> 
> also feel free to share some sad stories from ur life or something if you want to. it's not like a disorder can describe everything thats wrong w someone so if you wanna share go aheaddddddd


yup i have depression but im medicated and i also go to therapy. i feel better and i thinl im getting better, people around me tell me so too! my tips:
-dont make self deprecating jokes! instead start msking jokes abt how cool u are, everyone will laugh, the others make people uncomfy. and the most important thing: it actually helps u! fake it til u make it lol i believe that self deprecating jokes affect negatively our perception of ourselves
-workout! believe it or not... it actually works! it make u feel better
-try to go out with friends etc
-having a job/school/collegw gives u a responsibility and some kind of routine. this is very important!


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## Merielle (Nov 24, 2021)

Yep, and I'm fairly certain I've been this way since before I was even a teenager, but I think I'm managing it okay and it's definitely more in the mild/moderate range, at least now.  I've tried a lot of things with little luck; I've been hoping to finally start therapy and probably get on some medication (which I was putting off doing for way, way too long), but the pandemic situation has unfortunately not made that easy.  Hopefully I'll be able to soon though!


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## piichinu (Nov 24, 2021)

i have severe depression but its completely chemical and genetic and it cant be improved by making changes in my life because there is no reason for it (i am genuinely doing everything right and i have no troubles LOL). that's why we r putting me on medications and other treatments rip

pretty much the main problems it causes for me is looking at any object and thinking "i can kill myself with that," as well as the dysfunctionality like neglecting eating or not hanging up my clothes. ive been able to use brute force to make myself maintain a clean environment (ex. i will NOT have dust or trash in my apartment. BUT i have no problem throwing clothes into my room, closing the door, and sleeping in my living room!!!!) and use the power of vanity for cleanliness and hygiene but things like getting myself to study (luckily i have/had a powerful memory so that has been carrying me, but it is getting worse and i have to hurry and take care of it), eating, or having suicidal ideation all the time i haven't figured out how to fix myself yet


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## EmmaFrost (Nov 24, 2021)

Yes and it's severe. I have tried so many meds and therapists. They can't fix things or build me a support system out of thin air. Those tools can only do so much.


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## deSPIRIA (Nov 25, 2021)

I commented somewhere in this thread be4 somewhere but its basically the same as it was a few years ago. My psychiatrist told me my brain kinda mushy and that at this stage i will always be unwell (without antidepressants i guess).  I have severe episodes and relapses but overall im doing ok i love myself and im motivated to get better etc. Still a hard pill to swallow (Lol) cuz i wanna function without meds but ive proven to myself time and time again that i cant go with this option. Noo i dont wanna develop tardive dyskinesia im too sexy aha


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## Croconaw (Nov 25, 2021)

I already commented on this thread, but I don’t think so. I think it was a mix of bullying and being self conscious of my appearance causing me to be upset. After fixing things about myself to be more confident in myself, I haven’t been depressed. Yes, I’ve had bad days, but I just learn to cope and I’m generally a happy person nowadays.


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## VanitasFan26 (Nov 25, 2021)

(sigh) yes I do. Its very personal.


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## LadyDestani (Nov 25, 2021)

I have posted in this thread earlier but this year I sought out counseling and I've now been officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My depression got worse, to the point where I didn't care about much of anything anymore, and I was told that I was going through a major depressive episode. I am still struggling with it, but I'm working on getting better. Luckily, counseling has been helping me a lot.


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## visibleghost (Dec 3, 2021)

bro throwback thursday to this post wtf

i'm on antipsychotics these days and no longer suicidally depressed most of the time. recently messed with my meds (one of my antidepressants that you're not supposed to mix like i currently mix them and have mixed since 2017 lolll) and i cried every day for over a week but now i'm ok again lol xd that's life. but if i continue to lower the dose i might just. die. anyway

i don't think i can ever be unmedicated again. i have been on antidepressants for more than 6 years at this point and antipsychotics for almost 3. every time i mess with my medication or forget to take a dose i get the urge to kms so i mean. perhaps. it is better to stay medicated.


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## michealsmells (Dec 3, 2021)

I am depressed. Marked it down as severe because it's called Persistent Depressive Disorder or smthn? Basically it always there in some aspect. Since going on medication and moving away from a lot of toxic stuff I do feel less "I wanna die" though that still arises sometimes. Luckily I'm perfectly safe and would never act on anything. Usually if I feel like that I just sleep for extended periods of time 

I've also got Anxiety and ADHD which that terrible trio all magnify one another and it's great ngl.

I haven't been in therapy for a while now because I aged out of pediatric therapy and I'm I'm mentally ill to get into adult therapy so here I am. I'm surviving without it, though I gotta remember to take my meds more often lmao. Medication helped me a LOT not gonna lie, and while it's not awful, you can tell when I'm off it for a couple of days.


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## ~Stitches~ (Dec 4, 2021)

I do have depression, I've suffered from it since I was 15, and it wasnt until 2 years ago I actually went to a therapist and a psychiatrist, talked about everything thats happened, everything that I was feeling, and got on medication for it. 

Some days are better than others, I do still have bad days, and when theyre bad, theyre REALLY bad, and they can last for a couple days up to weeks at a time. I feel like for anyone who does have depression, it doesnt go away, obviously. The medicine does help, but sometimes, the blinders come off and you go back to that sad time. 

My pyschiatrist always told me that depression prevents you from appreciating the little things in life. A person without depression can appreciate a bird flying by, and think about how it makes their day better or something like that. Someone with depression just thinks of it as a bird. 

I do have good days too, and when those good days come around, Im very appreciative of them.


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## Holla (Dec 7, 2021)

No I don't have depression currently but I definitely had it in the past. 

About 6 years ago I had a lot of confusion in my life and the family situation at home was falling apart. One day in particular was so bad I walked straight out of one of my college classes without saying a word to anyone cause I could not focus and was ready to start bawling my eyes out at any second. I'm a student who was always on time and never missed a class unless I absolutely had to so it's not something I'd normally ever dare to do. 

I'm just glad things have turned around now. College is over and my family got things sorted out. I still have moments when I'm down but I'm just glad I'm not depressed any longer.


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## Antonio (Dec 7, 2021)

Yes but I'm currently in denial about it. Life is tough lately but I'm not thinking about that so everything is fine atm.


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## CherryApplePie (Dec 9, 2021)

I feel for all you guys who are suffering from depression. It does seem to be affecting more and more people lately, especially since this past year. 

I don’t have it, but sometimes I get into these funks that I just can't get out of. My sister has a couple of unofficial mental disorders which can be frustrating quite often, especially for my parents. More often then not there is tension in our household concerning her and sometimes my parents take their anger out on me which fuels these funks I get into.

Otherwise, I think I’m in an okay place in my life. Could be better, then again, could be much worse.


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