# How do you deal with having no friends?



## Avocado LaSchaap (Jan 12, 2017)

Haha, so, I don't really have no friends, but I feel like I do. I've never been one to have many friends, but because of where I am in life right now the number has really been reduced, and my besties who I have managed to hold on to have been very distant lately. I hardly get to see them or speak to them any more, even though I really really want to. Sometimes I feel like they aren't my friends at all.

That being said, I'm not alone. I have my family and my boyfriend, and I chat with my co-workers. But I feel. . . well. . . lame, unlikable, and boring because my friends don't talk to me, and I don't make friends easily. I know eventually I will make new friends, some who will stick and some who won't, but in the mean time. . . well, my mother offered to pay for me and some friends to go out to an escape room for my birthday, and that was a whole year and a half ago, and I still haven't gone because I have no one to go with me. Yeah, I feel really lame.

I'm sure I'm not the only one on here who doesn't have any friends, many friends, or who has friends that just aren't there for them. How do you feel? How do you deal with it emotionally?


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## N a t (Jan 12, 2017)

This is tough. Because I've had so many issues with friends over the past 4 years or so, and I didn't handle it well. 



Spoiler:  My experiences, if you'd like to read them.



Back in highschool, I had many people I considered all friends. And then, in my senior year, my best friend since 8th Grade basically outed herself to stealing from me. She didn't come forward and admit it, rather, she stopped being careful about it and I saw the things she was stealing from me. And like an idiot, I let her get away with it, twice I think. Finally, the third time kind of made me snap. She GAVE ME SOME OF THE STOLEN ITEMS BACK AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. She gave me back some of the less expensive and meaningful things she had stolen, as my Christmas presents that year. I'm not one for confrontation, and I'm a bit of a coward at times, so I just cut all ties with her. Distanced myself. I did SO MUCH for her over the years. I believe I was always there for her, and tried to be the person she could always count on, but that was a mistake. After that I realized that it's hard to trust anyone, and that most people were not friends. So, I only spent my time with 3 people after that. They ended up being my best and only friends for the past 3 years or so, even though I've known them longer. We got really close in the past 3. Then one of my 3 friends started blabbing about how he was using all of us. And honestly, it made sense. He has no reason to lie about using us, especially if it would have consequences. So, he was never really my friend either. Out of the two friends I have left, I don't interact much with the one. I try to, but everything we do together feels strained. While I still consider him a friend, I really only do anything with my one friend and current best friend. Up until now, she's never done anything wrong to me. SO, I feel I can trust her. Maybe she really is good, and she really is my friend, maybe I'm just desperate to find a decent person who isn't only looking to use me. During the time that this was all happening, I was already emotionally unstable in a few ways. I've done MANY dumb things, and still do on occasion. I'm getting better, much better, but I don't know if it'll stay that way. I feel like I go through random phases that don't always have to be triggered by something.



I really don't have many friends. I have 1 best friend, and 1 other friend that I see sometimes, or we might share funny pics with each other, but we rarely have actual conversation. I really like the people here very much, but I don't talk to anyone in particular for long periods of time because I don't wanna spend all of my time on the internet. I prefer to actually go out or do things with the people I like. I'm hoping I may make friends at college this semester. But anyways... Sometimes even with the people I love being around, I get this awful lonely feeling. Like I'm constantly excluded. And I don't really understand it because I'm not always excluded, but I have noticed that when my two friend get together, they seem to interact more with each other than with me. That is certainly depressing at times.

I hate when I ramble, but at least I'll make some bells from this.

tldr; I feel lonely very often for no reason, I only have 2 friends, I don't get to go out much, and I didn't handle my crappy feelings well. You are not alone there, lol.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I forgot to mention that I am living with my family, however we don't get along well. Any of us. It's usually fighting and yelling or ignoring each other.


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## Corrie (Jan 12, 2017)

I dont have any advice for you because I am the same way. I talk to people well but I feel like I dont create good bonds with them. I have plenty of acquaintances but not anyone who I created a good bond with and I'm not sure why it is so hard? I had best friends growing up but ever since I've been at college, I cant seem to keep in contact with anyone or feel the want to do so. I have a great connection with my bf and my siblings but why not with friends? I dont get it. Not sure if it's a lack of effort on my part, maybe I'm just so different from everyone else? Not sure if I'm just meeting the wrong people? I dunno. 

Just letting you know that you arent alone with how you're feeling. I thought that the best advice was to force yourself to talk to people but I think that the bond either happens or it doesnt. No forcing can help.


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## hamster (Jan 12, 2017)

uh...


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## Avocado LaSchaap (Jan 12, 2017)

@ Petey Piranha

Yikes, that sounds rough. I'm sorry for your situation. Feeling lonely is one thing, but feeling betrayed by your friends like that sounds even worse. I hope that you hang on to your two friends, and maybe you will grow back together and things will feel like they used to. I am hoping that will happen with my friends and I as well. When we are together we have fun, but for some reason they hardly ever want to hang out. Oh well. Hang in there, and try not to let your negatives experiences stop you from making new friends at college!


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## N a t (Jan 12, 2017)

Avocado LaSchaap said:


> @ Petey Piranha
> 
> Yikes, that sounds rough. I'm sorry for your situation. Feeling lonely is one thing, but feeling betrayed by your friends like that sounds even worse. I hope that you hang on to your two friends, and maybe you will grow back together and things will feel like they used to. I am hoping that will happen with my friends and I as well. When we are together we have fun, but for some reason they hardly ever want to hang out. Oh well. Hang in there, and try not to let your negatives experiences stop you from making new friends at college!



I'm trying, lol. I wish you the best of luck too. I suggest just trying to hang out with people more. Maybe there isn't much of a cure for loneliness like there is for actually being alone, my methods of coping weren't good at all, and I often felt worse about it. I'm pushing myself to see my friends more, and there is honestly a difference. I hope things get better for you. I wouldn't feel too awesome knowing someone felt the way I did.


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## TheGreatBrain (Jan 12, 2017)

My only friends are my family. I guess I don't want any friends. It's not that I don't like certain people, it's just that I don't want to talk to or hang out with them. I just want to be with my family. I don't make friends easily anyway. Growing up, I always just had one good friend.


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## Bowie (Jan 12, 2017)

It's fine not to have any friends, honestly. It's better to have real friends than friends you get just for the sake of being able to say you have friends.

Friendships are a very natural process, at least in my experience. If you're not willing to talk to them about anything in the world by the first hour, it's not real. All of my friends I could talk to about absolutely anything. I don't have to put on any sort of mask or hold back. I can only imagine how awful it would be to have to pretend to yourself like that.


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## pinkcotton (Jan 12, 2017)

I lost my best friend, and I have friends, but we're not like close. I'm really glad to have my brother and my cousins <3 They make me so happy.


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## Haskell (Jan 13, 2017)

I can't say on a forum like this on how I deal with no friends.


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## Soraru (Jan 13, 2017)

I was one of those people who took the "best friends forever" motto, literally and seriously. But things don't work out that way really unless both sides want to put in the effort too which is a very rare thing to have. I've learned that you go down a path, you find people among the few, you become friends with, you have their company wether good or bad or both. Sometimes you've been with them so long, you nearly forget the feeling of walking alone, and you feel like they will be with you on your path forever. And once they leave for whichever reasons it being, you feel alone and a little anxious on why your alone and if there is something wrong with being alone, until you come across another friend.

I think being alone for a period of time without anyone is part of the process of making new friends. Because I'm pretty sure if your future friend, maybe even someone that you had a possibility of getting along better would come along _while_ your still friends with your old ones, there's a chance the two of you might not be friends due to the attention you pay to your old friends out of attachment.

I think everyone in general goes through this process of being alone. I'm sure there are people who probably never had a period of being alone, but its probably the ones who put alot of effort in making sure they aren't alone. 

How I cope with having no friends? I look at the benefits of having no friends. I think of the bad things that come with having friends. Drama/Attitude/Fighting/Arguments/Competitiveness but it all really depends on what kind of click you typically find yourself in. People tend to look other who have no friends as sad and lonely and pathetic, but we usually just go around social media watching problems and drama unravel in friend groups that are supposedly the soulmates with popcorn in our hands, shaking our heads. 

I think having times where your alone is as healthy as having times with friends. There are benefits to having friends like there are benefits to being alone, and same with cons. So think about what is something you enjoy about being alone, having plenty of time to yourself doing anything that you want to do. And enjoy it while you can because if you really do want friends, and if you put in even a little effort, then one _will_ come along some day.


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## intropella (Jan 13, 2017)

I honestly don't have any advice. I'm suffering the same.

Hmm. At my age, it's extremely hard to find friends now. Since other people have established their group of friends. 
I thought I had friends from middle school to high school. I consider them all my friends and I care for all very much. However, it's not the other way around. I didn't realize it until my senior year of high school. I've been excluded a lot of hangouts among "friends". I lost touch a lot of people, and it makes me sad. So I try lying myself that I was happy, but then I totally lost it during the end of senior year. Then I go into a deep depression and keeping thinking myself if I am not good enough to anyone. It took around 2-3 years to finally to get over it. Still suffering from here to there. 

I tempted to make friends during first year of university, but it end up having unnecessary drama that my petty "friends" created for no apparent reason. I don't know why, it's just a waste of time. So I end up leaving that group of friends. Plus i was getting irritated, that they don't have common sense (lol woops).

How I am dealing it now, is just focusing on myself for my well being. lol I find it sad, that animal crossing villagers are my only friends atm. :,) lol. To get my distracted, I just go to a random group chat and try to talk to people like on Gaia or something. I just need some attention like just talking to someone to keep me out being insane. lol. Maybe I am not a people person anymore. idk.


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## KaydeeKrunk (Jan 13, 2017)

My best friend is my boyfriend, and most of the time he is pretty much my only friend. My few friends I have left are very distant, one of my friends I love to death but she has a kid and our work hours are skewed so for us to do anything usually requires I take a day off or give up sleep, which really isn't worth it and on top of that she feels awkward coming over when my boyfriend is here... which she swears up and down she doesn't have a problem with but whatever. 

My other friend moved to Tennesee, she's my best friend, and we now only get to talk online, so she's basically become an online friend, she's kind of stuck there too because she doesn't have an ID to come back and can't come here to get an ID without getting here which takes an ID... so I don't know how long it will be before I can spend time with her IRL again. =[ 

My other friend is SUPER exhausting to hang out with, like she has severe ADHD and like I love having her as a friend but I can't spend much time with her, which sucks because when she comes over it's hard to get her to leave and with my social anxiety I can't make myself be like "OK now leave." so it's kind of painful to have her over... we talk every once in a while and she'll come and bother me at work sometimes which is ok.

All of my other friends have been boiled down to occasionally posting stuff to each other's timelines kind of friends and liking each other statuses. I move out of my hometown and for a while I tried to go and visit but none of my friends were putting effort in the other way so they slowly just vanished and are now just awkward facebook friends with me... :/ It kind of sucks but that's what happens I guess.

The only other friends I have are online friends and that's kind of how I get by, I'm not a hugely social person and work pretty much covers the "social" quota I can handle so I really don't mind, I mean sure I wish I had more friends or at least that I could go out and do stuff with the few friends I do have but with my hours it's pretty much impossible. So I just have to live with it.


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## Ikatteiru mokkin (Jan 13, 2017)

My best bud is a snek named el coche, besides that I don't have any real friends in school besides my boy Robbie, he watches anime with me, and plays animal crossing with me.


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## DJStarstryker (Jan 13, 2017)

I've never had many friends, but as an introvert I find dealing with people exhausting. You have to be worth it to be worth dealing with the exhaustion. That's how I see it. The more friends you have, the more you have someone or another wanting to hang out and do stuff and... argh. Don't want to deal with that.


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## chibibunnyx (Jan 13, 2017)

Having kids taught me how to ignore the fact that I have no friends lmao.

Pretty much what has helped is:
having my boyfriend around. 
looking at random things online, or instagram.
animal crossing
playing games in general.

I've always been a hermit crab, but I had a couple of friends.
Now I have like 2. lol It's all good.


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## Waluigi (Jan 13, 2017)

i have friends but i dont need many, i spend a lot of time alone and hey it works for me, having few/no friends doesnt bother me, thats why i have a dog


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## pawpatrolbab (Jan 13, 2017)

I really don't, just whine at my fiance about it lol


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## piske (Jan 13, 2017)

Please don't feel it as a reflection of yourself~ I'm not sure how old you are, but I struggle with this as well, but as I've gotten older it feels easier to deal with. I made a decision a few years ago to stop actively contacting people I thought were my friends, and 1 person has tried to contact me since then. It hurt at first, but now I'm more at peace with it.

It's difficult to make friends as we get older as well, so that compounds the issue. I can say I have a sort of/kind of real life friend, but most people I talk to are people I've met here. I am also single again after a long-term relationship, so I lost a "friend" in that respect as well. I don't know that this is even helpful, but just don't feel unlikable! And if you ever want to talk about it, my inbox is always open. It isn't fun all of the time, but you will be ok with it as time goes on, and new people may come into your life at any point too. Just remember that c:


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## Blueskyy (Jan 13, 2017)

Don't stress tbh. As you get older being friends will revolve around having kid play dates and Mary Kay parties. Dunno about you but that sounds terrible.


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## Hopeless Opus (Jan 13, 2017)

i kind of feel the same, except the thing is my irl friends actually talk to me and want me to go places with them sometimes. like whenever i'm at school i'm normally miserable aside from the fact i have my friends. the thing is, i don't really know how to explain how to deal with having no friends. i've never had this problem, because i am an extreme extrovert in a lot of cases. growing up, i always was surrounded by people, so i became a people person - i was in the girl scouts, i knew everyone on my street and was with them constantly. it was easy for me to be friends for people, and it still is. the thing is, getting along with people is my problem lol.

i've lost so many people i considered close throughout the years. they were fake friends though, they were people who i let into my heart but they ended up trying to break it. i come to trust very easily, and i come to love the company of new people extremely easily, but that's my number one problem. i like that about myself, i truly do, but at times this causes people to manipulate me. i was manipulated so much around the age of 12/13, it was ridiculous. i was like people's puppets, but it was because i was afraid of letting go. letting go is honestly my biggest struggle, and i gave people second chances, even third or fourth chances, even though they'd hurt me so badly. but now, i'm learning to get the negativity out of my life. okay, back onto the actual topic of the thread before i derail this post entirely..

there was one thing i did struggle with though, and that was finding my best friend. i was so jealous of people for having a best friend. even though i was surrounded by so many people i felt so alone without someone to call 'my person', or 'my other half'. throughout my life i've had quite a few best friends - a childhood best friend, but when i moved we didn't talk anymore. then i met a guy who i thought was my best friend forever. i mean we were glued to the hip and everything, i couldn't stand not being by his side. i think i crushed huge on him too, lol. then he turned on me and took all my friends (most horrifying and scarring thing of my cringe years). then i met 2 girls who i really had fun with, and they became my best friends. but they weren't the ones either. now, i'm sitting here with about 6 best friends who i wouldn't trade for the world. 

really, it is so hard to go through life thinking 'i'm never gonna find the person for me' but there really is hope. you can find friends, you can bond with people and love them! and they'll love you back. it's hard, trust me i know... you just have to find the right ones who make your heart beat faster, and make you sad when they leave you to go to sleep. you'll find your people, i seriously believe there's hope for everyone to find good friends. it's like soulmates.. some people are just meant to be friends and some others aren't.


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## thatawkwardkid (Jan 13, 2017)

I don't mind not having a lot of friends since I like to be alone most of the time. I do get lonely sometimes which sucks. There's a small group of people who I very occasionally hang out with but I wouldn't consider them friends, just acquaintances. When ever I get bored or lonely I just play Animal Crossing, use the internet, or go walking.


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## visibleghost (Jan 14, 2017)

it's not the biggest problem in my life tbh hahah i barely care about anything anymore so it's not a big deal. sometimes i get sad but lol. i mean it's not like it is anyone elses fault that i have no friends and whining about it doesnt change anything so idk. it makes me feel really pathetic that im this bad at talking to people but Wel Whatevrer.,


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## Xme (Jan 14, 2017)

I think a small circle is better than a large one anyway. You can always trust the people around you. I like having my husband and one best friend. Everyone else is an aquantance, and I think it's less stressful.

- - - Post Merge - - -



irhaskell8 said:


> I can't say on a forum like this on how I deal with no friends.



<3 thinking of you


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## Ghost Soda (Jan 14, 2017)

i throw a pity party and generally feel sorry for myself then get over it.


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## Zireael (Jan 14, 2017)

I don't have many friends and it's never bothered me, because I'm extremely selective about who I get to know and vice versa. Honestly, my closest friends are all people I've met online years ago and are fairly close in terms of geography. Although we have not met in person, I think it's something that we will do at some point. In fact some of them already gathered to watch some sort of League event, but since I'm not into that game I didn't go, in addition to being outside of mainland Europe whilst they're all a little closer to each other.

As for "real life" friends, they tend to come and go for me. I've seen changes in people I thought I knew well and it was always tragic to witness, which is why I'm far more cautious around people I meet irl now. Ever since my last year of school, I've enjoyed my solitude in most cases, but I wouldn't mind meeting someone I could really connect with on a personal level and actually trust over time. Until then, I have my family and partner.


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## Suyeon (Jan 14, 2017)

Any friends that I have now are all/mostly online. Real life friendships among the people I grew up with are harder to keep and maintain due to...
- location (I don't have a car, some people have moved out of state/country... meet ups on a whim are out of the question)
- life happens (the majority of girls I went to school with are now mothers; I'm single and child-free. Even without location being a factor, I couldn't just call up and say 'let's have a girls' night out' without considering babysitters, budgets, etc.)
- obligations (work, church, children, parents, home, significant other, bills, college... Everyone has these obligations to some capacity that can get in the way of maintaining friendships)

If you have issues with loneliness - even with people around you - then that should be addressed first before tackling the 'I don't have friends' issue. What makes you lonely in a group? Is the conversation shallow? Are the activities something that you rather not do, but you tag along to not be a spoil-sport or be boring? Are you coming to realize that you simply don't have the same interests as others?

The biggest question: are you comparing yourself to those around you who are obvious extroverts? We all know someone who is. They're the life of the party or they live to party, while on social media at the same time. They always have some crazy story to recount from everything they've participated in and they can get a person's life story within a matter of a few minutes. The lot of us may simply be introverts - introverts are better off having a few real friends (IRL or online) rather than a ton of shallow acquaintances that we only think are friends. 

If you want to be better at making friends...
- First of all, don't call yourself 'boring.' If you're boring, then that means that you have no hobbies, interests, opinions, skills, etc. Everyone needs something outside of school, work, chores that they enjoy. Everyone has an opinion on politics/religion/the news/entertainment, etc. Everyone - if they want/need to work to survive - has a skill or talent.
- Don't actively look for friends. Let it just happen between you and other individuals.
- Don't limit your options. Make friends with people of all ages, skin colors, creeds, religions (but at the same time, be selective - don't befriend someone who may have a spotty/sketchy history, record, etc.).
- Online friends count as well. Computers are only machines and aren't sentient. There's a breathing person behind the screen that you can't see. Outside of the 'Prince from Nigeria' and other scam artists, you're still communicating with real people and they shouldn't be dismissed as potential friends.


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## Avocado LaSchaap (Jan 14, 2017)

Soraru said:


> I was one of those people who took the "best friends forever" motto, literally and seriously. But things don't work out that way really unless both sides want to put in the effort too which is a very rare thing to have. I've learned that you go down a path, you find people among the few, you become friends with, you have their company wether good or bad or both. Sometimes you've been with them so long, you nearly forget the feeling of walking alone, and you feel like they will be with you on your path forever. And once they leave for whichever reasons it being, you feel alone and a little anxious on why your alone and if there is something wrong with being alone, until you come across another friend.
> 
> I think being alone for a period of time without anyone is part of the process of making new friends. Because I'm pretty sure if your future friend, maybe even someone that you had a possibility of getting along better would come along _while_ your still friends with your old ones, there's a chance the two of you might not be friends due to the attention you pay to your old friends out of attachment.
> 
> ...



Thank you for replying Soraru, your post was really helpful to me. You are probably right that trying to prioritize dying friendships probably just hinders any attempts I might have to make new ones. I love my friends so much that I hate to admit that they've basically left me, but you're right, it's not so bad to be alone for a time. After all I'm not a kid anymore who has to worry about being cool or popular. I should worry more about myself instead of my friends, and focus on growing as a person. So long as I am the best person I can be, eventually someone will want to be my friend again. Again thank you, and good luck!

- - - Post Merge - - -



intropella said:


> I honestly don't have any advice. I'm suffering the same.
> 
> Hmm. At my age, it's extremely hard to find friends now. Since other people have established their group of friends.
> I thought I had friends from middle school to high school. I consider them all my friends and I care for all very much. However, it's not the other way around. I didn't realize it until my senior year of high school. I've been excluded a lot of hangouts among "friends". I lost touch a lot of people, and it makes me sad. So I try lying myself that I was happy, but then I totally lost it during the end of senior year. Then I go into a deep depression and keeping thinking myself if I am not good enough to anyone. It took around 2-3 years to finally to get over it. Still suffering from here to there.
> ...



Ah, don't give up. I never had much luck making friends in university either. I also enjoy talking to people online. It helps me feel like I'm socializing, and when people are interested in me (unlike my irl friends) it's an ego boost, haha. I used to have good friends online but I lost touch with them too, now I just talk to random people. Feel free to message me if you ever need to stop yourself from going insane!

- - - Post Merge - - -



AndyP08 said:


> Don't stress tbh. As you get older being friends will revolve around having kid play dates and Mary Kay parties. Dunno about you but that sounds terrible.



Uuhh. . . yeah I'd say that sounds terrible right now, but I guess most moms seem happy. Though I agree, I'd rather have my own friends than find socialization through my children :s


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## Avocado LaSchaap (Jan 14, 2017)

@ Suyeon

Ah, you make some good points. Thank you for posting. My real problem is not that my group of friends is small, I'm okay with that, it's that even the closest of those small group of friends is getting more and more absent from my life. Even my online friends have drifted apart. Even the Prince of Nigeria. 

To break it down. . . my relationships with the people I do get to interact with regularly, ie. my boyfriend, my sister, my parents, are fine.

My friends make me feel lonely. Why? Easy answer, cause they never talk to me and more often than not straight up ignore me when I try to message them! What kind of friend would do that? One who is hardly a true friend at all, and thus my original post. 

Haha, sorry to sound short, they are the ones putting me off, not you. Thank you for your support, you are right that I should not call myself boring or try and force friendships. Things will go as they go and I should just hang in there and socialize whatever way I can in the mean time.


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## Irelia (Jan 14, 2017)

simple, you just



Spoiler: .












ok but post quality so what I would hypothetically do is become attached to fictional characters to fill the void in your heart


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## Soraru (Jan 15, 2017)

Avocado LaSchaap said:


> Thank you for replying Soraru, your post was really helpful to me. You are probably right that trying to prioritize dying friendships probably just hinders any attempts I might have to make new ones. I love my friends so much that I hate to admit that they've basically left me, but you're right, it's not so bad to be alone for a time. After all I'm not a kid anymore who has to worry about being cool or popular. I should worry more about myself instead of my friends, and focus on growing as a person. So long as I am the best person I can be, eventually someone will want to be my friend again. Again thank you, and good luck!
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -



oh... hehe. 
im glad you enjoyed the post. it makes me happy that my words give a bit of ideas or help to others.
 best of luck to you too!


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## LinkToTheWorld (Jan 15, 2017)

It's not that I haven't got friends...it's that I really struggle with being sociable. Half the time I just don't have the energy and I know it annoys my friends when we make plans and have to cancel. It does end up feeling quite lonely sometimes, I can go weeks without seeing anybody other than my mom. I guess it's just something you deal with and make the best of...


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## keef_kogane (Mar 18, 2017)

I have one best friend who lives three states away from me, and that's about it.  I mean, I have my fiance (who I live with), but I've lost most of my friends due to anxiety and falling-outs.  Honestly, to cope, I write or throw myself into games.  It's super unhealthy, especially when I don't leave the house for months on end, but mental illnesses have that power.

I'd love to change, but it's that whole 'oh, if I make friends, they won't stick around anyway' mindset as well as anxiety that makes me hold back and basically cower in fear.


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## Nightmares (Mar 18, 2017)

Uhh... idk tbh 
I'm just hoping I'll make some friends in sixth form or something... 

I though I made a sorta friend...not really... but recently she's been ignoring me when her best friends are around so that sucks lmao 
Maybe this is selfish, but I'm trying to act the same around her and not bring it up... because I want someone to revise with for my major exams T____T;; 

But how do I deal with being lonely and ****?? I guess I just try and occupy myself? Most of the time I go to the I.T. room and do h/w or listen to music.
When I'm at home I just go online 

EDIT: Wow I answered twice, I really am lame oops


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## Sanrio (Mar 18, 2017)

if i have no irl friends, i rely on my internet friends

if i have no internet friends, then welp.


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## toadsworthy (Mar 18, 2017)

Well take it from someone a bit older (judging you are the average age around here), while it is good to focus goals like career and school, we as humans have some sort of social need we want to fulfill. I am getting to a point in life (mid 20s before I start to sound like a mid life crisis lol) where you start to see all the best friends or engagement/marriages everywhere and you start to think, well what about me? I've become super cognizant that I have no one in my life that I can tell everything too. I recognize there is a level of intimacy (not just physical... be mature) that you get with friends, family, and significant others that I've never even come close to feeling. I think its good to notice this at least, however at this point I don't know if I can overcome it and feel like its a necessary part of adolescent development that I apparently just missed. If you are still in teen years, just follow your heart and that instinctual social need, don't be afraid to put yourself out there. However its different for all people, so don't compare yourself to others, just do whats best for you.

And before you think I'm some sort of cold-hearted person, I am actually very sociable, but its more from instance to instance, person to person, generally liked by people a lot.... I just haven't had that long lasting connection with anyone, and getting more upset about how in the near future I will most likely just be completely alone, when others have succeeded in parts of life that I have clearly not


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## Corrie (Mar 18, 2017)

LinkToTheWorld said:


> It's not that I haven't got friends...it's that I really struggle with being sociable. Half the time I just don't have the energy and I know it annoys my friends when we make plans and have to cancel. It does end up feeling quite lonely sometimes, I can go weeks without seeing anybody other than my mom. I guess it's just something you deal with and make the best of...



I have the problem of wanting to hang out but being lazy. xP I'd rather lay in bed all day than get up, get dressed and go outside. lmao. Usually happens during the cold seasons so once it's warmer it's better.


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## idcjazmin (Mar 18, 2017)

this is so weird bc i literally just woke up from a dream where i had no friends and i was so unhappy in life and i didn't know what to do so i asked someone's advice, and i get on here and it's the first thing i see!

anyway, i feel like i don't have very many friends right now either. i'd say i have maybe 3 real friends, two of which i met online, and my boyfriend
my best friend of like 2 years, who is also my roommate, is becoming really toxic and narcissistic and treats me pretty badly and it's hard to deal with. my boyfriend tells me to cut her of, stop being friends with her, etc but it's hard because we live together.. 
honestly, i really just want to move somewhere else and start a new life. but that's not exactly possible right now lol

as far as like advice.. i don't really know. personally, i just cry about my problems and hope they go away by themselves (that never works)
honestly, i'd say just try to reconnect with your friends and tell them how you feel, and if they don't seem to care or put in any effort, you should try to make new some friends.


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## ChocoMagii (Mar 18, 2017)

Quality over quantity I guess. I don't have a lot of friends as well. :/ 
I'm also quite independent. So instead of making more friends I just picked up some new hobbies. ^^"


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## dizzy bone (Mar 18, 2017)

Bowie said:


> It's fine not to have any friends, honestly. It's better to have real friends than friends you get just for the sake of being able to say you have friends.
> 
> Friendships are a very natural process, at least in my experience. If you're not willing to talk to them about anything in the world by the first hour, it's not real. All of my friends I could talk to about absolutely anything. I don't have to put on any sort of mask or hold back. I can only imagine how awful it would be to have to pretend to yourself like that.



I agree! I'm fine with not having a lot of friends. I can be social and fulfil my desire to talk to someone but in the end I'm content with being alone. I've lived in 4 different countries so far because of school and work and I've had to make new friends each time and honestly it's so exhausting, especially for not being very social to begin with. I have one best friend who I've known since college and has moved countries with me, lives with me, and works with me. She's exactly the same way as me so we're both kind of loners lol. That's all I really need. Otherwise I feel like I'm trying to hard and it doesn't get me anywhere. I find it hard to keep in touch with people but I'm always open to reconnect online, that's what the internet is so great for (and to distract from the fact that I have no other friends, ha ha).


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## forestyne (Mar 18, 2017)

I cry myself to sleep every night. I'm fine with having no friends  honest.


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## idcjazmin (Mar 18, 2017)

forestyne said:


> I cry myself to sleep every night. I'm fine with having no friends  honest.



awww :'(


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## Astarte (Mar 18, 2017)

I'm comfortable with solitude. I've never felt lonely in my own company.


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## made08 (Mar 18, 2017)

Avocado LaSchaap said:


> Haha, so, I don't really have no friends, but I feel like I do. I've never been one to have many friends, but because of where I am in life right now the number has really been reduced, and my besties who I have managed to hold on to have been very distant lately. I hardly get to see them or speak to them any more, even though I really really want to. Sometimes I feel like they aren't my friends at all.
> 
> That being said, I'm not alone. I have my family and my boyfriend, and I chat with my co-workers. But I feel. . . well. . . lame, unlikable, and boring because my friends don't talk to me, and I don't make friends easily. I know eventually I will make new friends, some who will stick and some who won't, but in the mean time. . . well, my mother offered to pay for me and some friends to go out to an escape room for my birthday, and that was a whole year and a half ago, and I still haven't gone because I have no one to go with me. Yeah, I feel really lame.
> 
> I'm sure I'm not the only one on here who doesn't have any friends, many friends, or who has friends that just aren't there for them. How do you feel? How do you deal with it emotionally?



I relate to this a lot. It's like, I have friends, but I feel like they don't really like me sometimes and I often fear that I'm unlikable. They're also really bad at making plans so whenever I've tried to invite them over it usually doesn't span out lol. They're very spontaneous and like to do spur of the moment things, and I like to plan, so I do get a little frustrated sometimes. I didn't have many friends growing up and I was bullied a lot. I always wanted to have that perfect friend group where you all get along so well and nothing ever goes wrong and you get to do all sorts of fun things together--the kind of friends people have in those dumb Disney channel movies. But those aren't real. It took me a long time to come to that realization, but people are imperfect, and so is life. But that's okay! We're all just doing our best, and even though we often feel like there's something wrong with us, there usually isn't. I've expressed my concerns to my friends on multiple occasions and they've assured me that they do like me. I still get nervous sometimes but I think it goes to show that your friends most likely will feel the same towards you. People aren't perfect and the perfect friend/friend group may never exist, but you take what you can get. Just try and be there for them when they need you, and don't be afraid to try and make plans with them first every once in a while


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## blackroserandom (Mar 18, 2017)

keef_kogane said:


> I have one best friend who lives three states away from me, and that's about it.  I mean, I have my fiance (who I live with), but I've lost most of my friends due to anxiety and falling-outs.  Honestly, to cope, I write or throw myself into games.  It's super unhealthy, especially when I don't leave the house for months on end, but mental illnesses have that power.
> 
> I'd love to change, but it's that whole 'oh, if I make friends, they won't stick around anyway' mindset as well as anxiety that makes me hold back and basically cower in fear.



Same. It sucks but if I could have changed it, I would have by now. Now my last friend was arrested for dastardly things. It sucks and it hurts to feel and be so alone. You see all these people with good friends and are happy. You just wonder why, why is it so hard for me to be happy? To make friends?  Heck, why is it so hard to keep them. And eventually you take a sick comfort in the loneliness and the isolation. Tough to break. Here's to something better,  hopefully soon.


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## Soda Fox (Mar 18, 2017)

I just try to enjoy everything.  I prefer to take a positive and fun spin on everything I do, regardless of if I'm doing it alone.  I can eat out by myself without feeling weird about it.  You can be your own friend.  There's nothing wrong with that.


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## Licorice (Mar 19, 2017)

Honestly I think friends are annoying and I don't like talking to people very much.


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## vel (Mar 19, 2017)

i would advise to strike up conversations and get to know them. it might seem hard, but you miss all the shots you don't take. the worst thing that could happen is they'll think you're quirky? if they don't like you, don't think too much about it, just move on to the next person who could be your friend. making friends isn't just them liking you though, it's a two way street. you have to try to be friends with them, and want to. if you curl yourself up into a small ball, no one will enter, because they can't.

try saying "hi, how was/is your day?" to someone, and kick up small talk. it's a good first step.


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## glow (Mar 19, 2017)

who needs a life when you have an internet connection and permanent existential dread


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## Weiland (Mar 19, 2017)

I used to have literally next to no friends. People would usually just tolerate my annoying presence. 
What I used to do was read a book or get involved in a TV show and relate to the characters, and then they'd eventually feel like my real friends. 
Oh, and Animal Crossing lol.


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## honeymoo (Mar 19, 2017)

I have a lot of friends at school, but barely any that actually come home with me. I used to have tons though, and we'd text all day at home etc but this past year I lost almost all of them because they were just awful and I finally cut them off. I have 2 people I'd consider my best friends and they don't even really text me or anything so it's pretty lonely and I get really upset about it a lot, I try texting them first but it just makes me feel like I'm annoying them. I doubt they reciprocate the best friend label, but oh well. I deal with it by just doing my hobbies etc. Like as sad as it sounds, I practice flute and piano and saxophone etc way more than I do without friends than I did with friends. I just think about how I'm going to to university in a year and I'll make new friends I guess. Idk I guess I don't have a whole lot of good advice because I'm going through this as well! I honestly cry like once a week about my lack of friends and it's really sad not having anyone to text exciting things to. Like sometimes I see something cute or something happens to me and I just want to tell someone but I have nobody to tell it to :/.


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## Nuclear Bingo (Mar 19, 2017)

when I'm lonely I read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" so I can brush up on my people skills to get new friends


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## forestyne (Mar 19, 2017)

i also cry on the internet


T_T i have no friends pls be my friend, i have zero social skills and i am very borderline and unhinged and not in a good way and i cry a lot and ive bene used loads and i am technically a massive joke even to my family bUT i listen to a lot of music and i am alone 98% of the time so im like free 24/89 ya add m e ;-;


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## easpa (Mar 19, 2017)

Same way I deal with most things; by sleeping! Honestly though, I'm lucky enough to be able to say that I've a decent amount of friends these days, but that definitely hasn't always been the case. As difficult as it was, I had to learn to enjoy my own company when I was relatively friendless and isolated a year or two ago. It may not have been the most fun time of my life, but I definitely came out of it a lot more content with myself as a person.


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## glow (Mar 19, 2017)

i read this thread title in the voice of my fathers


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## Corrie (Mar 20, 2017)

I honestly write fanfics and pretend that the characters are my friends. 

...

I'm being 100% legit which is really sad. ;w;


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## watercolorwish (Mar 20, 2017)

well its not people dont wanna be friends with me its just i cant connect with them which is a big turn off for me. i think everyone has someone they wanna be friends with but can never really picture themselves with that person. but if the only reason we talk is because school is hard and we're both so done, thats not really a friend is it? i hate to call them acquaintances but they are. imo a friend is someone you can connect to and understand. thats probably why i have no friends but i do give people chances and nobody has ever stuck with me which sucks since i cant say i had childhood friends. how i cope though is just blocking the thought of it with video games and excercise which makes me sad but who cares if you dont think about it right


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## Aquari (Mar 20, 2017)

ha ha, who needs friends when you have plants?! **twitch* *twitch**


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## Farobi (Mar 20, 2017)

I feel that even sometimes people who i consider super close with aren't my best friends (as in chatting every day). I'm never myself to anyone, which blows.


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## Dim (Mar 21, 2017)

Hmmmm not sure how to answer that. Lemme ask my friend Plank!


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## gabuie (Mar 21, 2017)

just remember you're not alone, i mean looking at all these people reaching at to you in the same position as you! before you even "deal with having no friends" you have to deal with yourself. how do i deal with not having friends? i don't, i just do my own things and it doesn't come in my mind because i am constantly doing something


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## Sparklingsmile (Mar 31, 2017)

_Growing up I was home schooled, so I didn't have any friends at all, just my mom and sisters. Having no friends was..pretty tough, while I had kids I hung out with I didn't really have best friends, even If they invited me to parties I was always the odd one out and even tho they invited me they wouldn't include me even when I tried to talk with them, one by one they stopped talking to be and ignoring me, I was heart broken. So reading this now, yes It's very lonely growing up without any friends and It was hard on me so I can understand how you and others feel about It, So naturally video games became my escape! And in Animal crossing I had all the friends I needed and realized that I didn't need to go out there and look for friends, that they would find me. And in my teens around 14-15 I met two friends of mine online, CJ and Emilia. We're going on being friends for ten years now! So see, It's not about searching or looking for friends, even If It's hard you can get through It! They just find you or eventually you find them. So don't be so hard on yourself about not having any friends, they will come naturally in time. And feel free to add me, I'm always up for chatting!_


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## Jesusrey91 (Mar 31, 2017)

My advice is: Keep enjoying your time alone, friends (and acquantainces) will eventually come... (and they will go too) 

From experience: I used to have lots of friends, but nowadays I'm extremely lonely, most of them went away to keep doing their stuf, so I just game all I can and watch Netflix and study and go to a forum of Animal Crossing players (4th wall break? )

Conclusion: It doesn't have to be an issue, first and foremost because that's just your personality. Second is a little bit deeper...  but remember we are truly alone in our existence. Our consciousness was designed to have individuality. Maybe in the future there will exist an evolutionary version of the human which has a shared consciousness, but that's not us, so don't worry about having to make friends. Just be grateful for the acquantainces you will meet, the ones that stay and that ones that leave, and if there are none, enjoy that time you have for yourself. The world is vast and endless, there are many things to learn and experiment in this crazy world  many you will like and many you won't... just keep living them all!


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## Millysaurusrexjr (Mar 31, 2017)

I've been kind of a loner since middle school. Almost always ate lunch alone in middle school/high school. I graduated college last summer, and I never was invited to a single party during college. 
I really only have my fiance, my cats, my mom and this one online friend I talk to maybe once every few months. It used to really bother me that I had nearly no friends, but I think that's just because people expect you to have friends, and if you don't then you're automatically seen as some kinda freak or something.
I'm shy, I have anxiety and I'm very introverted, but I think I just like having a lot of time to myself. Being around people takes up so much of my energy.

If you don't have friends, I don't think you should worry about it. It doesn't mean you're a freak or a bad person. If you want friends, you'll eventually find some! You might just have to put yourself out there a bit more than you'd like to. In the meantime, playing video games and listening to music and watching Netflix helps IMO.


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## visibleghost (Mar 31, 2017)

i have 0 friends in school rn and i just do stuff alone. i use the time between lessons to play games or study or check forums. i listen to music all the time too so idk i kind of ignore or shut out other ppl. it doesnt bother me that much anymore but a few months ago i was rly sad anout it lmao but now ive just accepted that im a pathetic loser with no friends


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## Romaki (Apr 17, 2017)

People never really liked me, whether it be off or online. I wasted a lot of my own potential and time trying to please people who couldn't be pleased. As a kid I was really, really depressed about it and didn't wanna leave my bed or go to school when I was 9-18. But you'll get used to it, it becomes a routine. It's okay to be alone and have no one. Most people will say that you do and that there are always people who will listen, but that's just not a reality for everybody.

You can try to waste more of your life throwing a pity party for yourself hoping that strangers will give you little to no attention for doing so, or you can try to find a life that's worth living regardless of the input that other human beings might have. If you have a loving family and a partner, you have a lot of friends already. Lots of people don't have anyone to text in a time of need, and that's where forums like this come in handy.


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## Spooky. (Apr 17, 2017)

I have maybe 1 unreliable friend on the internet, and that's it. I don't have any friends. I deal with it by keeping myself busy, sleeping, and playing animal crossing. That being said, there are many times where I feel incredibly lonely and I start to wonder what's wrong with me and what I've done wrong to deserve it. It's been at least 8 years since I've had a single, real friend. You feel like you'd get used to it but you never really do. I just try to fill up my time and act like it doesn't bother me. Video games Friday night, sleep all day Saturday. Can't care about having no social life if I'm asleep, I guess.


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## AlanRickmanFan27 (Apr 17, 2017)

i agree with the person below me im the same way too


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## ZekkoXCX (Apr 18, 2017)

Around 2011 - 2014 , when i had no friends i thought it was a big deal. I didn't wanted to be popular i just wanted a friend and i felt bad about it. However , as of today i just don't care. I don't really have much friends in the internet as of in real life i have a few more. Its just about time when you found real friends .
And even if you don't have friends , that is not something bad! You don't need friends to be someone awesome!


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## Nightmares (Apr 18, 2017)

I thought I screwed up everything with my only friends this week //heavy breathing  but I think it's ok now... I hope it is............ I mean I just hope we can forget about... idfk

I feel like something always happens to the friendships I have, though, whether irl or online 
There's more "drama" online, but I feel that people are more accepting and easier to be friends that way... at least from personal experience. Everyone has had their friend groups for years now, but online there's way more opportunities... still I manage to **** it up hahaha 

My best friend cut ties with me completely a couple years ago, and I was feeling pretty depressed about it
That was around the time I joined this forum though and made some friends while RPing ;; 
The people in our group have changed round a bit, and there's been drama and ****... but to say it awkwardly, I've had the most fun with them. I can't think of anything good with my past friends, although maybe that's because it was so long ago, idk 
To sound cringey again, idek if they'd call me a "friend"
...but...hopefully? Hahaha. After all this time and a few incidents, I'm just waiting for everything to fall through  o.o 
I don't really mind if I'm their least favourite person in the group, I just appreciate that I'm allowed in lmfaoo 
I'd love to be someone's favourite, but I'm awkward and too rude sometimes...It's harder to communicate online too, I think, which doesn't help 

Whoops, digression lmfao 
I didn't mean to type that much utter ****

But to answer the question... I guess... trying tO HOLD onto my online friends and... trying not to care? I'm almost done with school now, so I hope I'll have opportunities to make IRL friends in college ;;
I was in town today and I thought how nice it would be to hang around with friends... instead of my mum //fml

I'm kinda lonely, but idk if it's my fault or not 
There's far more horrible people than me with friends so idk br0 
I'm kinda unattractive, so maybe that's my online friends exist and my IRL ones don't?? Idek the reasons
Idek if the people online would count me as a friend 


Welp, as you can see from my boring ass long post, I seem to have a few years experience with this  hahaha


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## PeterCap (Jun 23, 2017)

With a quick development of technologies it becomes more easy to deal with having no friends. With Internet being accessible to almost anyone nowadays, you can engage with different people all over the world(via comment section or specialized sites and so on) and fill the void which was created by the lack of communication. And if you want you can even engage with beautiful woman while never living your couch via specialized sites as Flirt.com and even have a long distance relationships. So it's not that hard nowadays and I even didn't mention such obvious destractions as video games or TV


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## candxur (Jun 23, 2017)

I lost all my friends when a whole bunch of **** happened just after high school and I'm not going to get into that lmao, but it's been 2 years and I still haven't made any new friends. There's only one person from school that I still talk to a lot n I'm trying not to push him away and distance myself so we see each other at least once a week if possible, but apart from that my life is pretty much unbearably lonely, so I play ac an unhealthy amount bc I can talk to the villagers and here' so no bull**** or drama, when I have the energy and focus I'll read a book, other video games (mainly old ass ines from my childhood (i even dug out the dreamcast)), I've probably watched bojack more than an unhealthy amount (I shouldn't be relating to a self destructive, alcoholic, drug addicted horse as much as I do oops). I often get upset over my lack of friends but I'm trying my hardest to come to terms with the fact that it's okay to be upset and it's okay to be alone. Most of my time isn't spent with distractions and learning to spent time with myself


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## Corrie (Jun 23, 2017)

poyonomatopoeia said:


> well its not people dont wanna be friends with me its just i cant connect with them which is a big turn off for me. i think everyone has someone they wanna be friends with but can never really picture themselves with that person. but if the only reason we talk is because school is hard and we're both so done, thats not really a friend is it? i hate to call them acquaintances but they are. imo a friend is someone you can connect to and understand. thats probably why i have no friends but i do give people chances and nobody has ever stuck with me which sucks since i cant say i had childhood friends. how i cope though is just blocking the thought of it with video games and excercise which makes me sad but who cares if you dont think about it right



I agree with you 100%. Getting that full connection to someone is hard. I can talk and hang with people just fine but getting that amazing connection rarely happens. It sucks a lot tbh but what can you do. You either connect with that person or you don't. You can't and shouldn't force it.


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## PeterCap (Jun 23, 2017)

Hey *candxur*! I feel you and by the way BoJack show is great, but you shouldn't identify yourself with him for a simple reason that he had his fun in the younger days and as far as I inderstand you're only on the start of your life. And if so, you should try to grab this life by the balls and didn't settle for anything less than great, because that's what life is about. It's about getting outside of your comfort zone and explore the possibilities in this constantly changing world. And to programm yourself that it's okay to be upset is not the best mindset to tell you the truth. You should keep yourself together and try to change this attidude and step by step work in order to achieve it. Anyway, I hope you'll at least try!!!


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## candxur (Jun 23, 2017)

PeterCap said:


> Hey *candxur*! I feel you and by the way BoJack show is great, but you shouldn't identify yourself with him for a simple reason that he had his fun in the younger days and as far as I inderstand you're only on the start of your life. And if so, you should try to grab this life by the balls and didn't settle for anything less than great, because that's what life is about. It's about getting outside of your comfort zone and explore the possibilities in this constantly changing world. And to programm yourself that it's okay to be upset is not the best mindset to tell you the truth. You should keep yourself together and try to change this attidude and step by step work in order to achieve it. Anyway, I hope you'll at least try!!!



tysm! I am trying to grab life by the balls, but it's hard when you almost never have a reason to leave the house, and it's also v tough going out anywhere alone while dealing with anxiety. I don't mean it's okay to be upset but more like
it's okay to get upset sometimes (if that's makes sense?) because it's normal to and bc I have so many reasons to (the whole bunch of **** that happened


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## mermaidshelf (Jun 23, 2017)

It's easy to feel like that. I think it could be an issue with insecurity. I'm sure your boyfriend likes you and people may like you more than you think but you could be self-sabotaging yourself by convincing yourself that you're unlikable. 
I think there are two approaches you can take. If you want to have more friends and have people like you, you have to do some self-analysis. What are some personality traits that people may find off-putting? What are some that are annoying or unlikable? Work on changing those things. What are some personality traits people like and respond well to? Even if you don't have them, pretend you do and fake it until it becomes second nature.
Or you can just take a "don't care" attitude. It's okay that you don't have many friends. If you like who you are, then you should be confident in yourself and just accept that you may not be other people's cup of tea, and that's okay!

Maybe you can start by making internet friends. I find that people open up more on the internet and you can find nice people with similar personalities and interests. Probably some on this forum! Then maybe you can arrange a meet up, after getting closer.

Personally, I prefer having very few friends. Back home, I only had my best friends. I don't need anyone else, including certain members my family. Although, it's always nice to have people love and accept you, I like me and if others don't, that's their problem. I love being alone and having my alone time. I actually feel more lonely when I'm with others, whom I'm not close to, than when I'm by myself. The only time I'm not my true self is when I'm at work. Then I have to put on my "work persona." I know that I'm not the type of person to get along with others and other people tend not to like me but I wouldn't change my core being for anyone else. I'm more surprised when people like me than when they don't. Recently, I've made some friends unintentionally and they always ask me to hang out with them. I don't mind because I'm trying to enjoy myself and the company of others before my contract ends but it's been draining because I'm so used to being alone all the time. I have to turn people down constantly because I just don't have enough time for everyone and I have to prioritize. This has made some people angry and possibly hurt so they gossiped about me behind my back saying I was snobby and standoffish, which are claims I can't really refute because they're not too off the mark. All this drama over why I'm NOT hanging out with certain people just reminds me that it's better not to get involved with people in the first place.


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## Aniko (Jun 23, 2017)

I spent most of my life alone, I rarely see people, like once every 3-5 years. I don't really mind, I have too many issues to deal with, having friends would just be too much to handle, too much stress.

Besides, it's hard to find people with whom I get along and share the same interest. All people I liked moved away.


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## racatl (Jun 23, 2017)

Sometimes I miss high school, where everyone in my class at least knew my name.  Being at university is much harder because I know very few people and I find it hard to make friends in my classes so I spend a majority of my day completely silent.  I have a few friends that I live with, but I wish having more of a network.  Unfortunately, the only reason I knew that many people in high school was from growing up with them, and that isn't really possible now.  Making friends is terrifying tbh.

On top of that, I've lost contact with my friends from high school so coming home from the summer can be hard since I don't have any friend interactions.  All my friends from college live other places that are way to far to go visit (upwards of 4 hours).


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## BrinaLouWho (Jun 23, 2017)

I try to make friends online and i've recently been trying to find friends close to me it's just super hard since I have agoraphobia.


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## piichinu (Jun 23, 2017)

ive never really had a best friend or had a solid friend group in my life but i do talk to people around me. i never go out tho, or invite people or any of the other things most friends would do. it doesnt really affect me because i have a different support system which is my faamily, and im around them a lot + i could call them my best friends as well.


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## namiieco (Jun 23, 2017)

yeah i have friends. they're good people but we're mainly just friends for the sake of having friends. i mean they're fun to hang out with but i feel like they don't care about me that much. but i don't really feel bad because of that. i guess i know i have my family


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## pinkbunny (Jun 23, 2017)

I do have friends I'm just not that much of a social person. I enjoy going out and having fun but sometimes I have terrible anxiety. I think my friends just kind of know that and they don't really care.


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## Brijade07 (Jun 23, 2017)

man, i wish i could help you feel better :/ but i don't always know what to do either

i've always made friends fairly easily and had a large group of acquaintances as well as a couple of really close friends. i like some alone time but i'm a pretty social person.... when i moved back to my hometown from new orleans, though, it was really, really tough for me. all of my old friends had either moved away or were just not the type of people i wanted to spend my energy on any more. 

it's been a rough adjustment period, for sure. it doesn't help that this is a small, boring town - compared to nola there's nothing to do. i don't know where to go to meet new people except for bars, and that's not exactly ideal. (is this a super inappropriate thing to mention on this website?) i met a guy at a bar and it didn't work out.... we dated for a few months (if i'm being honest... because it kept me from being bored) but i split up with him last week so. back to square one. plus, i always used to work in restaurants and would make friends with my coworkers. now i work at a private practice counseling place with only two other people. both of them are counselors aaaand also they're my parents' age.
mostly i just keep in touch with my out-of-town friends over the phone and try to keep busy, i guess.

anyway sorry for whining about my situation so much. my advice to you would be to try something like the meetup app ? or maybe look through different facebook groups? to find something you're interested in - and then you can meet people with similar interests. same goes for volunteering ! that's always an option

but i mean if a group setting like that seems anxiety-inducing or not like something you're interested in, there's no obligation for you to do it. there's no obligation for you to have a huge group of friends, either. honestly, there's nothing wrong with doing things alone and getting to know yourself a little bit. don't feel weird about it! the main thing is to find some sort of hobby, something you like that's healthy, and go to that when you're bored or feeling lonely.

you seem like a very caring person, and you're probably a great friend. i know others have said this, but don't view this little rut that you're in as a reflection of yourself or beat yourself up over it!


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## gravitycrossing (Jun 24, 2017)

the internet. twitter is a huge community of people with basically every interest you could ever imagine, i make a lot of friends on twitter that i often play games with. but in terms of real life friends, i have one close best friend, and my cousins. my cousins are like my siblings and mean the world to me


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## Dim (Jun 28, 2017)

Sometimes my fragile little ego will protect itself by somehow giving me pride in being alone


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## crowley (Jun 28, 2017)

honestly all my school freinds have been people i only talk to at school and ive had a few online friends but now im left with 1 close internet friend and some non close internet friends and no real friends cause im home schooled and its so nice having no friends tbh no drama no going out no worrying ect id rather have no friends then friends tbh

- - - Post Merge - - -

butt yeah kik, instagram, twitter, and youtube will give me the social interaction i need


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## pinkcotton (Jun 28, 2017)

Surround yourself with positive people. Like your family! I may not have many friends, and the few I do have aren't that close to me, but I'm still a pretty happy person! I socialize with my brother and my cousins, and they're enough for me. If we weren't related, we would so be BFF's. (;


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## Dim (Jun 28, 2017)

pinkcotton said:


> Surround yourself with positive people. Like your family!


Too bad my family is extremely judgemental and not positive lmao. Hard to build up myself esteem when they comment on everything I do.


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## Weiland (Jun 28, 2017)

is anyone in this thread willing to be friends with a perpetually lonely person like myself? I honestly have no one anymore and I'm so close to snapping.


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## Mayor-of-Bliss (Jun 28, 2017)

Eh. I don't have any friends anymore due to bad health. It doesn't bug me too much because I would rather have no friends than fake friends? 
When I feel lonely I usually just cuddle my pet rabbit. He luvs me 
If I'm more lonely I usually just sit with it for a while or watch videos online or whatever. Depends.


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## abc123wee (Jun 28, 2017)

I sometimes get that feel in certain places, but I can't talk that much because in others I have some great friends. But, I'll try my best.

For starters, I think it helps that you have other close relationships such as your family and bf, and the fact that you aren't bullied or anything. But, I know loneliness can still get to you when they aren't there. That feeling of being the lame one who can chit chat but not much more is horrible. 
What I do is remember that what the other people think of me isn't a big deal, and that I have some other people who care about me out there who I'm fine with being myself around.

One the topic of making friends, I just have one suggestion. Don't force anything. Yeah, be friendly, but let friendships bloom instead of throwing down a bunch of miracle grow on it.


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## Miii (Jun 28, 2017)

Learn to value your independence and privacy. Making friends is nice and all, but you should learn to be okay by yourself.


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## NotoriousPlants (Jun 28, 2017)

The internet is my way of dealing with feelings of loneliness. Or sometimes I distract myself with hobbies.

I have a fair amount of friends, but I wish I had more online friends. I guess it's easy for me to make friends, but the only problem is that I have become pretty shy over the years.

Making friends, in my opinion, is easier if you share interests with that person. Which is kind of the reason I made an account, so I can make new friends.


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## Ably.Saucey (Jun 28, 2017)

I kind of a loner in real life, so not having friends really doesn't bother me.


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## casual.kyle (Jun 28, 2017)

Being in high school, show choir, and clubs really helps me make new friends and keep old ones. Clubs are just great because you meet a bunch of people who share your interests, and you can usually find at least one person who you really click with. I'm also very lucky to have one of the nicest and most supportive friend groups I've ever seen in a high school.


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## gyarachomp17 (Jul 2, 2017)

I just try to ignore the fact that I have no friends, because the less I think about it, the less I'll be sad about it. When the issues do come up, I remember this forum and walk away with a smile on my face.


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## unravel (Aug 8, 2017)

Before: Even I have friends I still feel empty inside
Now: Even I have friends I prefer gaming over socializing they thought I'm pushing them away

Sometimes I feel that people who I consider super close with aren't my closest buds (idk why tbh). I prefer my college friends over my HS friends cause they're are always there for me and all but now we're don't talk that much because we're too busy and all esp to someone who is like a older brother to me even tho I'm a year older than him.


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## EvieEvening23 (Aug 8, 2017)

I move a lot so whatever friends I do make are forgotten. I do have some definite friends (we play ACNL together a lot) but that's pretty much it. 

I don't really consider my doggo as a friend, as much as i consider him family.


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## Arjh (Sep 2, 2017)

I've just accepted the fact that I'm just not meant to have friends. I used to try and fit in with others but I'm too different and have never just clicked with anyone.
Guess I'm just going to die alone with no one even noticing that I'm gone.


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## Warrior (Sep 2, 2017)

I'm someone who's never had much drive to have friends. I'm able to talk well with people, and pretty much anyone I meet seems to get along with me once we've talked for a bit. But I don't feel like a person who needs friends. I like being alone, and I get along well with my family so I'm not dying for positive social interactions or anything. But to be honest? I'm just extremely picky who I'm actual friends with. 

That said I play a lot of online games like monster hunter and ffxiv. I like working in teams and being of use to other people - doing my job well, helping them clear content. So I guess while it's not the same as having irl friends, I play a lot of games with other people and we all have a good time.


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## Strawberryllama (Sep 3, 2017)

All my friendships don't last long, so I'm alone a lot. I just keep myself in class and avoid people until I get home to my dogs.


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## deSPIRIA (Sep 3, 2017)

making friends online


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## wizard (Sep 3, 2017)

I don't care if I have friends or not. So I don't need to deal with having no friends.


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## xSuperMario64x (Sep 3, 2017)

I have online friends but having friends irl is what matters most to me.

Basically I like to be alone but never having someone to talk to except my parents (and when I say parents I mean my mom because my dad can't empathize with anyone) is hell on my emotions.


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## Buttonsy (Sep 3, 2017)

I haven't made a new friend that has really stuck around since I was 10, and I'm Autistic so socializing is really difficult for me. I've been marathon-watching TED Talks about ways to have conversations with others, maybe studying how to start good conversations and then just introducing yourself to strangers would be good?

The other thing is to make sure to really try to enjoy your times alone. Try not to focus too hard on being lonely when you are alone, and instead try to make sure you are indulging in interests (or if you have no hobbies, try to pick something up!).


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## Foreversacredx (Sep 8, 2017)

I used to have loads of friends when I was at school but I seem them all having fun and doing things without me. It's been a few years now but it still stings that I'm completely worthless to them. I only have one bestfriend now :/


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## oath2order (Sep 20, 2017)

I have friends; I don't need to deal with this.


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## Haskell (Sep 20, 2017)

1-3+ years ago, I could say I have no friends, but now I do. I have friends that I go out with to McDonalds, sit with on the bus, comfort, be comforted by, etc... It's because I tried to make friends. The move helped me to make friends too.


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## tifachu (Sep 20, 2017)

First things first
If you do have friends but feel like you dont youre probably overthinking it . Everyone's busy or has S/Os of their own they focus on more.. lol. Sadly. Also, social lives are overrated, anyway... Especially when youre still busy with schooling and work and need to rest more than go out. You may also not be looking in the right places, i find it difficult to make friends in school/class unless it's within a club and we share interests. 

andtheres nothing wrong AT ALL with having only a few friends. Why do you need a lot of friends? What matters is the quality of the friendship!  Not sure how old you are, but most friends you make high school wont stay in touch with you after that. Maybe for a year or two, then its byebye. Everyone's busy pursuing their own paths now. And socializing in college can be crappier... it's all partying/drinking. people who prefer having an active social life that involves doing drugs over their education annoy tf out of me anyway.. youre lucky if you find someone whos interested in the same games and hobbies as you, isnt about that lit life, and you can actually talk to and do normal things with though. i like joining clubs, especially ones that require me to work/put effort in them, to make me feel like i have some kind of social life, bahaha. youll find peopl that respect you and want to befriend with you through them also  i used to worry about being friendless also, but i eventually came to realize even my good friends i cant see or talk to as often, its NOT because we 'arent friends', it's nothing personal. were just all so busy. seeing each other once or twice a season is enough for me, considering weve all known each other more than 75% of our lives so far. and its nice to think that we will be friends  for the rest of our lives also. honestly im not worrying about being friendless anymore , we should be worried about being financially stable in the future and keep at our education.


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## YunaMoon (Sep 20, 2017)

It's really hard having no friends. Luckily I am blessed to have an awesome family mostly my mom to help me out. I also have TBT and online groups on facebook to keep me company. It does get really lonely though and I do get depressed. ACNL and TBT have helped a lot with that


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## WitchOfMiracles (Sep 20, 2017)

Well I've never really had friends because I'm just pretty different from most normal people with my lifestyle, my perceptions, and my outlook on life in general. When I was young I always felt like the kids in my age group were too immature for me to be able to relate to. So it's hard for me and other people to really 'get' each other. But I don't mind it. The only time it started bringing me down was during adolescence and I got depressed because I never was able to get a girlfriend. Over the years though I've grown out of that and recently started trying to view friendship as just being a simple, casual, ordinary thing and not really having to mean anything that deep or special. Just being able to share some laughs and have some nice, fun, pleasant times together should be enough to count as friendship.


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## Haskell (Sep 21, 2017)

I thought I had 2 more friends than what I actually had. 

Yesterday, we were fine joking around on the bus that afternoon.

That morning, I'm practically being harassed by them... I'm not
getting that into it that much but basically I was talking to 
someone they don't like. They were never my friends.


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## Arrow Daphne (Sep 27, 2017)

I've lived my life having about five friends for most of my life and ended up with only one that I can call my true friend. I deal with having no friend by writing myself in a different scenario but it doesn't last that long due because sometimes you just have to return to your normal life. Its hard not having a friend but I also have the hope of someday having another true friend either online or in real life.


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## Mink777 (Sep 27, 2017)

Meh, I get passed it.


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## WordKnight (Sep 27, 2017)

Well I have "friends" one of them is rude to me and the other one I barley see. So I can't really help but I do understand.


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## Barbara (Sep 27, 2017)

I deal with it by having friends. 

No but seriously, I have some friends right now and I'm glad I do. A year ago I didn't really have any friends at school and it sucked. I'm just happy about my position right now.


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## Croconaw (Jun 10, 2018)

I went a very long time without any friends. Honestly, I managed to make it through elementary school and high school without any friends. Sure, I had people I talked to, but I knew it was just a temporary thing. I knew for a fact I wouldn?t talk to any of these people after graduation. There were times I felt like the fifth wheel, sort of. One time, we had a group project, and they had their little group of four while I was stuck with a different group the teacher assigned to. It was pretty embarrassing. It was even more embarrassing how I was atca table of five with these people before they didn?t let me in their group. I didn?t say anything, but did I really have to? School made me feel really crappy. I felt like an outcast. 

Anyway, I do have a best friend. I met her online. I have always found it easier to connect with people online. People can?t judge you by how you look online. I?ve had experiences online with emotionally abusive ex-girlfriends where it wasn?t great, but generally, people were pretty nice online.


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## Midoriya (Jun 10, 2018)

I’ve always had at least one good friend in my life.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here today.


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## xSuperMario64x (Jun 10, 2018)

I basically go around saying I have no friends, and then hate myself cause I do have friends.

But they never talk to me or anything soooo


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