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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Lock please


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## ayeeprill (May 13, 2020)

i mean if they say it's not necessary then I don't personally see the problem???


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## N a t (May 13, 2020)

It doesn't bother me too much. It makes me feel slightly more obligated to tip but there have been times where I visited people and did not tip simply because I had nothing of value at the time or something that they asked for, as sometimes they provide a wishlist, and there have been times where I attempted to tip well. Do I feel a little bad if I do not tip? Yes, but then I just move on with my life, especially if the service is advertised as free to begin with. That's just my opinion on it. Or course if you dislike it that is also fine!


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## Blueskyy (May 13, 2020)

I try to look at it a different way. I try to see it as the person being kind. If they’re hosting something and making tips optional, I think that’s kind on their part as long as they don’t get mad/hold it against you if you don’t actually tip. I mean doing something like that takes some work so I think it’s ok to ask for a tip as long as it truly isn’t expected.


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## NatsumiSummer (May 13, 2020)

This is also why I never mention tips unless someone asks about it, then I just tell them I don't require a tip, but I wouldn't decline a tip. 

Again I never mention it UNTIL the person I am doing a transaction with mentions it.


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

I feel like it's just a reminder. When someone posts their wishlist I always check my storage for unused items. And no one ever gave me **** for not giving them a tip, everyone who ever mentioned it in their post (from my experience) was incredibly grateful if you left anything for them.


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## seularin (May 13, 2020)

i personally don't mind it !!! i always tip a few thousand sometimes anyways ;; usually people don't mind if i don't tip


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## Soigne (May 13, 2020)

i don't see how the literal words "not required" make you think you have to tip.


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## Gingersnap (May 13, 2020)

I visited an island yesterday to catalogue a good bit of items for free, they said tips were appreciated but not necessary. I figured someone so generous who would sacrifice their time to stand around while I and many other users catalogued furniture (even pieces from sought after sets) for free deserved some sort of compensation. For their kindness, I figured they deserved some bells as thanks for their time. It's not like it was those cases where I see people demanding tips or NMT for visiting. 

More often than not, when I see a "tips appreciated" message, I am more likely to tip. To me, that says the user isn't expecting to get anything in exchange and I would be more willing to leave a tip for a selfless person rather than a selfish one. If they're demanding items its one thing, but a suggestion regarding potential tips (IBG, NMT, items off wishlist) I see no issue with.


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## Sloom (May 13, 2020)

it's kinda a tough one tho, because the person might want a small amount of compensation for their efforts (they may end up spending an hour or more letting people come in and out for whatever their service is which is quite a commitment) but at the same time they also want to provide a free/affordable service that anyone can get in on.
so the seller just says that they're appreciated but not necessary. It's usually used with good intentions at least. it's not their fault we feel obligated to be polite lol.

on the other hand I just prefer straight up fees because then I can get down to business, there's gonna be faster loading times because it costs a fee to get in and I don't have to guess how much the seller's expecting or worry about "lowballing" them haha ;;


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## tobi! (May 13, 2020)

would u prefer they charge?

i think it is fine! no one is hurting...

if someeone has diys or something and are trying to get rid of em, they can be like "oh, i can give it to them!!"


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## axo (May 13, 2020)

I write "tips appreciated" whenever I open my gates and I'm not at all upset when people don't leave things because I advertise my island visits as explicitly free. Still, it's true that tips are appreciated and it makes me happy when people tip, but I certainly don't want people to feel obligated to.


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## Mary (May 13, 2020)

yeah nope.  When I say "tips never required but always appreciated," that's exactly what I mean. No one has to tip (I despise mandatory entry fees because I don't want to exclude someone because they can't pay).  I do not get upset when they don't, but when they do, it's a nice surprise.  I don't want anyone to feel bad for not tipping, it's not mandatory at all.


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## Cadbberry (May 13, 2020)

Its not trying to guilt you, someone who is offering a service for free is just saying it would be nice if you could bring something but you don't have to. They aren't demanding it, just asking nicely. If you don't want to then don't tip just as appreciated and not required mean


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## Bcat (May 13, 2020)

I always put this when I do hosting sessions and frankly I don't see what the problem is. It's just letting others know that if they want to pay it forward, that's awesome and if not, no hard feelings. I never charge so it's kind of nice to see people giving you things because they want to rather than being charged for it. *shrug*


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## Fye (May 13, 2020)

They're taking out time to help out the community and sharing their resources with members who don't have access to them at the time. I don't think it's wrong for them to state that tips would be appreciated. If anything the opposite bothers be more - when you see the same users essentially island-hopping on the airport forum and give nothing back to the community. No one who's played the game for more than a day has the right to take advantage of the generosity of others imo. I don't expect everything to be give-and-take but its nice to see people try to give back in some way when they've been helped =)


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## mayortiffany (May 13, 2020)

The pressure to leave a tip can probably be connected to the cultures that we all come from. In the American/Canadian context, it's considered rude to not leave a tip at a restaurant or when receiving a service, but in Japan for example, tipping is not expected at all (and actually leaving a tip might be considered rude!). When I was travelling in Europe, in some of the countries that I went to, tipping a small amount was expected, but not if the service was poor and not to the same extent that it is in the United States. 

I personally don't find it rude for people to say that tips are appreciated, but I would find it rude if they get mad at people who don't choose to leave a tip at all. After all, they did say tips _appreciated_. I sometimes also find it helpful if people leave general lists about what kinds of tips they like because I worry less about giving them something they might not want.


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## Vonny (May 13, 2020)

I don’t mind tipping.  If you only have a few slots of turnips then it’s understandable but if you have all 40 slots + selling at 300 and become enraged at the idea of tipping then you‘re the greedy one

I draw the line at people that demand NMT though, I guess 1 per trip is reasonable but I’ve seen 10 NMT entry fees before


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## victoriae350 (May 13, 2020)

Depends on the situation. For certain situations, it doesn't bug me. First, _it isn't necessary. _Entry fees exist so people pay to have access to the service/area in question. Second, tips give people the opportunity to freely show their gratitude. But it depends on the service honestly. Opened my island today to let people sell Turnips at Nooks. It's mentally exhausting. Gates were open for a VERY long time. Tips I received as a thank were so appreciated! Now, if I'm expected to tip to visit Celeste, or to look at someone's store, then I'm annoyed. But selling or buying turnips? I've never had an issue with tips in those situations


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## Noctis (May 13, 2020)

No I don't mind. I always tip regardless. Why? Because they're taking their time to do this. Also no offence you don't have to tip of course but y'all that don't look bad in my eyes when I see y'all running around but that's me.


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## SaltedKaramel (May 13, 2020)

When i host diy crafting giveaways, which are always free, i always write "tips appreciated". Because why not? I mean what I say I don't need tips. But at the same time I still want to obviously show my appreciation for those who do. I cant watch my screen all the time and write "Thank you" to everyone who do decide to tip.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Soigne said:


> i don't see how the literal words "not required" make you think you have to tip.


It’s like being at a restaurant, tipping isn’t mandatory but everyone does it so you don’t feel like a jerk. By someone mentioning tips it makes some people feel obligated to do something and overthink.


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## R. Planet (May 13, 2020)

Someone is nice enough to not ask for anything and you take offense to it?


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## absol (May 13, 2020)

I always feel obligated to leave a tip and I think I subconsciously decide to pay more than I'd do when it's required to pay. 
Wondering what's actually more profitable in the end - setting a fixed price or letting people decide for themselves?

I'm not necessarily annoyed with 'tips appreciated' though, I just feel like the choice is between being rude vs being decent


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## Reploid (May 13, 2020)

While I’m sure the majority mean well when using said phrase, I see where the OP is coming from. Imagine if you went out to a restaurant and before you ordered, your server said this to you. Wouldn’t that leave a bad taste? I think it’s one of those things where it isn’t necessary to say you appreciate tips, because it’s implied. Who doesn’t appreciate tips?


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

mayortiffany said:


> The pressure to leave a tip can probably be connected to the cultures that we all come from. In the American/Canadian context, it's considered rude to not leave a tip at a restaurant or when receiving a service, but in Japan for example, tipping is not expected at all (and actually leaving a tip might be considered rude!). When I was travelling in Europe, in some of the countries that I went to, tipping a small amount was expected, but not if the service was poor and not to the same extent that it is in the United States.
> 
> I personally don't find it rude for people to say that tips are appreciated, but I would find it rude if they get mad at people who don't choose to leave a tip at all. After all, they did say tips _appreciated_. I sometimes also find it helpful if people leave general lists about what kinds of tips they like because I worry less about giving them something they might not want.


The first part is my exact thoughts, that’s why I’m feeling this way.


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## Insulaire (May 13, 2020)

I personally don’t like receiving anything without paying for it in some way. As Fang says, “No freebies in this life!” So unless I was specifically instructed not to by the host, I’m always happy to pay or tip something, or provide a service like watering flowers, in exchange for visiting an island for something I want. Seems more than fair to me.


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## leming (May 13, 2020)

I am a person who posts "tips appreciated" but not necessary lol. I truly mean they aren't necessary but if someone can let me catalog a wishlist item, which doesn't cost them anything because they get to keep the item, then it's a win-win for both of us! Not trying to make anyone feel like a jerk, just would love to catalog some items I'm missing while helping other players out!


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## Matt0106 (May 13, 2020)

I mean I don't mind, because I mean, so long as they are asking politely and tastefully, then they won't get mad if you don't (If they do, then they take tipping a little too seriously). I would say the only thing that is a little annoying is mandatory entry fees.


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## telluric (May 13, 2020)

The only thing I have a problem with is people who ask for high entrance fees and then have the gall to say "tips appreciated." I love to tip generously. Who cares if someone saying they appreciate tips puts "pressure" on you to tip. Its just fake video game money, I have nothing to lose giving them a 99k bag of bells (or whatever amount) because they were nice enough to open their gates for me.


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## shaymoon (May 13, 2020)

I.. have no idea why this would annoy someone? You don't have to tip, it's not there to make you feel bad for not tipping; it's there for the people who usually tip and want to make sure they'll accept their tip when they drop it off. Simple as that, but to each is own I guess.


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## seliph (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> It’s like being at a restaurant, tipping isn’t mandatory but everyone does it so you don’t feel like a jerk. By someone mentioning tips it makes some people feel obligated to do something and overthink.


yeah this isn't comparing apples to apples here, it's expected in restaurants because waiters need to make a living.

if you feel required to tip when it's clearly outlined that you don't have to, that's a you problem that you need to work on.


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## Hesper (May 13, 2020)

Appreciated is not the same as necessary. I'm not about to hunt anyone down who's visited me for Zucker crafting something, or whatever, and didn't leave me anything. I just put it there so people know it's appreciated (literally what it says on the tin), if they leave me something and don't say anything while I'm sitting in the villager's house so I don't know to thank them in-game.

This is a personal problem. If you feel pressured by people expressing gratitude in advance...



astoria said:


> It’s like being at a restaurant, tipping isn’t mandatory but everyone does it so you don’t feel like a jerk. By someone mentioning tips it makes some people feel obligated to do something and overthink.



And actually, "everyone does it" because servers--at least in much of the US--are paid way beneath minimum wage. Without tips, at my old theatre-waitstaff job at a dine in that shall go nameless, there were a bunch of days where I wound up making only 28 dollars or less (my worst was 11 dollars/8 hours!!) for 7 hours of work, because there were so few customers to begin with or their orders were small or nonexistent. I was Employee of the Month and repeatedly recognized and thanked by repeat customers in the lobby, so it certainly wasn't a me problem lololol. While legally they had to recompense us if we made below minimum wage, that only applied to an entire pay period, and therefore you could have a good weekend and the weekdays would still be completely worthless and not pay you for your time getting Karened out on.

*stares into the middleground* _No, ma'am, I have nothing to do with your debit card declining, that is 100% on you_...


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## Mairen (May 13, 2020)

"tips appreciated" and "tips required" are two entirely different things in my opinion. though I totally get the "tips appreciated" can make me feel  pressured like I either have to leave a tip or I'm gonna seem like a selfish jerk or something >.<


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

I’m changing the title of the thread then. I’m not offended about people posting about tips, I just wanted to see if anyone else felt pressure to tip. And I mostly mean on discord in the chat where it’s like “no fee island visits” every text there has something that says “tips appreciated” or talking about tips before they post their code or say to DM them for the code to visit their island


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## Luxen (May 13, 2020)

Not at all. It's just a simple reminder that it's entirely optional to tip and it shouldn't even negatively impact you in the first place. The last time I opened my gates on here I had visitors who tipped and others who didn't, yet I still thanked them all the same for taking the time to stop by. I wasn't expecting to receive anything in return back then.

I would much rather have someone mention "tips appreciated" in their thread than going to an island blindly and possibly upsetting someone on the off chance that they just don't want to accept any tips at all (which may or may not go both ways, if you happen to be someone who personalizes tips for each visit).


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## mirukushake (May 13, 2020)

I pretty much always write tips appreciated because people generally tip but there are some people who don't want anything when they host. So I write it so people know I'm okay with them, and it's also okay not to leave anything. I guess since I literally always tip (unless stated otherwise), I don't feel pressured because I was going to do it anyway?


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## Santana (May 13, 2020)

No one is holding a gun to their head and forcing them to leave a tips. Regardless of whether anyone leaves a tip, I promise I will treat them with the respect they deserve


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## Mary (May 13, 2020)

You changing the title makes our posts look off-topic.


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## Cnydaquil (May 13, 2020)

sometimes if i need nmt i kindly say if your decide to tip nmt only please! i only  do this when im desparate and need nmt for a villager hunt!


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## marea (May 13, 2020)

They just want to let you know that it would be nice to get a tip if you have the means to do so, but you can still come for free if you cant. Like i cant even think of a nicer way for them to put it lol. They have every right to charge for their time but they didnt, so let them have this optional tip thing at least. If you are trading with others in this fourm but cant tip them, you can leave them a good feedback. That might make you feel more at ease about not being able to tip them?


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## Mairen (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> I’m changing the title of the thread then. I’m not offended about people posting about tips, I just wanted to see if anyone else felt pressure to tip. And I mostly mean on discord in the chat where it’s like “no fee island visits” every text there has something that says “tips appreciated” or talking about tips before they post their code or say to DM them for the code to visit their island



oh don't feel pressured into changing the title >.< I totally understand what you mean by it. I think people are being a little harsh by saying "if you have a problem with someone saying "tips appreciated" then you have issues you need to work out." I mean... this week I was super low on bells (less than 10,000), and didn't have a lot of time to do fishing or bug hunting to really get more. I honestly wish I had a bunch to spare to leave a payment for every island I visit, but I didn't. It certainly leaves me feeling guilty. It doesnt mean I have a problem I need to work through though. So don't let the others get you down!


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Mary said:


> You changing the title makes our posts look off-topic.


Well that wasn’t my point, my point of creating this thread was to see if anyone shared a similar opinion to me feeling pressured to give a tip when someone posts about them. Also how can it be off topic when my first post remains the same? I just edited it a little. My point still stands.


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## Arckaniel (May 13, 2020)

I usually give tips at least 20k bells per visit, idk I just feel wrong not giving anything but there are instances I do not give anything like if it's a giveaway or something, but getting diys from villagers and such I usually tip


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## dragonair (May 13, 2020)

I've literally never felt pressured to tip unless someone says tips are required. I always tip now anyway because I like making people happy (I couldn't for a while though ; v ; )but even if I didn't no one's ever made me feel bad or came after me because I didn't.


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## Reploid (May 13, 2020)

seliph said:


> yeah this isn't comparing apples to apples here, it's expected in restaurants because waiters need to make a living.
> 
> if you feel required to tip when it's clearly outlined that you don't have to, that's a you problem that you need to work on.


Ah, it must be different where you’re from. Where I live, servers make minimum wage, so don’t need to rely on tips to make a living. It’s like this, if everybody understands and feels that tips are appreciated, why even say it? Go on, next time you’re offering a service, don’t even mention it. I guarantee people will still tip because that’s the kind of community we have.


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## naranjita (May 13, 2020)

tipping is half the fun of going to people's islands for DIYs/NPCs/whatever tbh


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## Santana (May 13, 2020)

Mary said:


> You changing the title makes our posts look off-topic.


I agree a lot with what Mary says. I really don’t want to come off as rude, instead just being completely honest. It’s ok to have feelings, even petty ones. However we shouldn’t have to rationalize it and accept it.  Its ok to realize that maybe these feelings are ok, but don’t try to shift it so that it looks like we are being aggressive. I don’t think that any of this makes you a terrible person, in fact I’m sure that whoever you are, you are lovely. But please don’t do this to us


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## Megaroni (May 13, 2020)

Sloom said:


> it's kinda a tough one tho, because the person might want a small amount of compensation for their efforts (they may end up spending an hour or more letting people come in and out for whatever their service is which is quite a commitment) but at the same time they also want to provide a free/affordable service that anyone can get in on.
> so the seller just says that they're appreciated but not necessary. It's usually used with good intentions at least. it's not their fault we feel obligated to be polite lol.
> 
> on the other hand I just prefer straight up fees because then I can get down to business, there's gonna be faster loading times because it costs a fee to get in and I don't have to guess how much the seller's expecting or worry about "lowballing" them haha ;;


I agree with this. I personally try to tip whenever possible even if tips aren't mentioned if they're providing a free service for many people for hours at a time. I think that if someone is receiving a free service and they have the means to tip then they should tip. I've noticed that this community is very "do good for other people without expecting anything in return," but isn't that the point of tipping? To provide someone with extra compensation when they didn't expect it?


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

Tips appreciated but not required is what I always say. I also always say to tip what you can, and if you can't afford it, then don't feel like you have to tip.
I understand feeling annoyed when people say stuff like for turnips "Give me 50% of your turnip money as a tip" but like GUESS WHAT!!! You don't have to go to those people!! There's loads of people who don't ask for entry fees or high end tips!
I have no idea how this annoys you like at all - Because if you feel like you HAVE to give the person a tip, but you don't actually cause they said they were appreciated but obvs not required and...well not giving a tip is kind of rude but like you don't have to leave a huge tip LOL

My question for you, have you ever hosted anything on your island? Like letting people come over to talk to Celeste or when a villager is crafting a popular DIY? Cause boy is it a complete pain....The loading screens, having to keep an eye on people who sneak around, the people with bad internet ruining it for everyone.... It's nice to get tips, but I never think people who don't leave tips are the absolute worst, unless they were rude LOL

I've hosted and co-hosted turnip spikes and I never asked for tips, I always say "tips appreciated but not required" because while it's nice to give tips, you don't need to, especially if you can't afford to! I actually had to tell people to stop tipping because they were giving WAY too much!!! Like I don't mind people taking 10 trips, but like tipping once is enough for me! You don't need to give 99k every single time lolol

It's not annoying, or well shouldn't be annoying, to say "tips appreciated" but what you described in your post is actually not really that, it seems to be more people who ask for expensive items or large sums of NMTs or IGBs as tips. And honestly? The only people I see that do that are the people on Turnip Exchange who say they don't have "entry fees" but instead the entry fees are actually the tips they ask for LOL


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

Personally, I don't feel a pressure to tip. I take people by their word and if they say it's not necessary, then usually I don't. I just like chatting them up and helping them if they ever need it, but when I visit their island and see that they're league aheads then I feel like anything I could give them would be really insulting. I should probably get into the habit of tipping because I can now, but I just don't think about it when I'm on their island.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Mairen said:


> oh don't feel pressured into changing the title >.< I totally understand what you mean by it. I think people are being a little harsh by saying "if you have a problem with someone saying "tips appreciated" then you have issues you need to work out." I mean... this week I was super low on bells (less than 10,000), and didn't have a lot of time to do fishing or bug hunting to really get more. I honestly wish I had a bunch to spare to leave a payment for every island I visit, but I didn't. It certainly leaves me feeling guilty. It doesnt mean I have a problem I need to work through though. So don't let the others get you down!


Thanks, I just had to change it so it comes across as more clearer. I understand the majority of people are outraged that I’m talking about this or saying that I have a problem if I get mad about people talking about tips, but I’m not mad?? I get it. There’s several posts that aren’t agreeing with me but I don’t understand why people go into a topic they don’t agree with. Like a topic called “does anyone like the gorilla villagers” and the majority or the posts were saying “no” like they made that thread to find out who liked gorilla villagers not just to hear people say the opposite.


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## voltairenism (May 13, 2020)

My personal experience is that most people asking for tips are expecting tips. So yes, I feel very pressure to give them.
That's why I mostly don't ask for tips when hosting, so when people tip I feel very happy!!


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Santana said:


> I agree a lot with what Mary says. I really don’t want to come off as rude, instead just being completely honest. It’s ok to have feelings, even petty ones. However we shouldn’t have to rationalize it and accept it.  Its ok to realize that maybe these feelings are ok, but don’t try to shift it so that it looks like we are being aggressive. I don’t think that any of this makes you a terrible person, in fact I’m sure that whoever you are, you are lovely. But please don’t do this to us


Are you serious? I’m not even doing it to make anyone look bad and I don’t see how changing the title makes the posts off topic??? My OP is the same. I changed it so people can easily see what point I was trying to make and for people to stop being hostile because I put the word “annoyed”


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## Mary (May 13, 2020)

Not outraged, just attempting to clarify/ defend saying "tips aren't necessary but are appreciated." In no way am I taking issue with you as a person, I just disagree.
Edit: and I apologize if the off-topic thing came off as harsh/accusatory. That was not my intention.


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## naranjita (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> My question for you, have you ever hosted anything on your island? Like letting people come over to talk to Celeste or when a villager is crafting a popular DIY? Cause boy is it a complete pain....The loading screens, having to keep an eye on people who sneak around, the people with bad internet ruining it for everyone.... It's nice to get tips, but I never think people who don't leave tips are the absolute worst, unless they were rude LOL


actually this is SUPER important. I used to think people who required fees for visiting their neighbors or whatever were absolutely crazy, like I even talked to a friend about how wild it was that people wanted others to pay to talk to a villager who was giving out DIYs.

but then I started hosting and holy crap, it. is. stressful. having to sit through endless cutscenes, giving out codes, keeping track of who's already visited and who needs to come next, showing people where to go... and I haven't even hosted turnips yet (because I never get good prices lol rip), I can't imagine what _that _is like.

needless to say, I totally understand why people charge fees now lol. I try not to (unless I have a specific goal in mind and need bells/NMT for it), but honestly if you're gonna make someone sit through cutscene after cutscene of people flying in, I think you should try to make it worth it for them (if you can afford it!).


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

Mary said:


> Not outraged, just attempting to clarify/ defend saying "tips aren't necessary but are appreciated." In no way am I taking issue with you as a person, I just disagree.


Same with the comment I made! I am not personally attacking OP, I just am curious why they feel this way! Because honestly as someone who does EVERYTHING for free, I only get income from tips from events I host - Not that I'm even in need of the money LOL 
(After selling 30million worth of turnips I have not needed bells since.)


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## raqball (May 13, 2020)

-------------------


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## samticore (May 13, 2020)

a "required tip" is just payment


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## seliph (May 13, 2020)

Mairen said:


> oh don't feel pressured into changing the title >.< I totally understand what you mean by it. I think people are being a little harsh by saying "if you have a problem with someone saying "tips appreciated" then you have issues you need to work out." I mean... this week I was super low on bells (less than 10,000), and didn't have a lot of time to do fishing or bug hunting to really get more. I honestly wish I had a bunch to spare to leave a payment for every island I visit, but I didn't. It certainly leaves me feeling guilty. It doesnt mean I have a problem I need to work through though. So don't let the others get you down!


im gonna guess this was referencing my post but there's a difference between feeling guilty about not tipping and being annoyed at users not requiring tips because you feel pressured


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## Hesper (May 13, 2020)

I feel like this is really a semantic argument, then: what's a "tip", and what's actually an entry fee disguised as requesting tips. Tips, ideally, outside of the Bad Situation I and others have described re: making an actual living, are supposed to be a bonus (e.g. my next workplace after that one, where we made a base wage above minimum wage and tips were a bonus on top shared across a shift). Anything "required" is not a tip, even if they call it one. That's just a fee. 

People misuse words, especially to deceive. "Tip" sounds nicer than "entry fee", so they use it to make it more enticing to pay. You're feeling pressured by the situations you've described because you detect this deception and know you're being charged a fee; meanwhile, those of us here who use "tip" as intended are reading it that way and reacting as if that were the thing described.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> I have no idea how this annoys you like at all - Because if you feel like you HAVE to give the person a tip, but you don't actually cause they said they were appreciated but obvs not required and...well not giving a tip is kind of rude but like you don't have to leave a huge tip LOL


see this is what I’m talking about, you just said that not giving a tip is rude lol

and I have hosted selling turnips on discord once but I didn’t have to deal with a bunch of people because I put the turnip exchange and set the queue to 10 people so it wasnt a hassle for me. My island isn’t complete so I don’t open my gates for strangers right now


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

naranjita said:


> actually this is SUPER important. I used to think people who required fees for visiting their neighbors or whatever were absolutely crazy, like I even talked to a friend about how wild it was that people wanted others to pay to talk to a villager who was giving out DIYs.
> 
> but then I started hosting and holy crap, it. is. stressful. having to sit through endless cutscenes, giving out codes, keeping track of who's already visited and who needs to come next, showing people where to go... and I haven't even hosted turnips yet (because I never get good prices lol rip), I can't imagine what _that _is like.
> 
> needless to say, I totally understand why people charge fees now lol. I try not to (unless I have a specific goal in mind and need bells/NMT for it), but honestly if you're gonna make someone sit through cutscene after cutscene of people flying in, I think you should try to make it worth it for them (if you can afford it!).


Exactly! Like if a tip is required, that's not a tip, that's an entry fee LOL But like I respect hosts after hosted myself...They go through a lot, especially if they have stuff on the ground! Gotta keep eyes on people O.O


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## Mello (May 13, 2020)

Do I feel pressured to tip? No... I can't say I do. 

On another note, what annoys me is when people tip me and I specifically tell them I don't want anything. I think it's kind that they're so insistent on tipping, but I'm offering a charity service, so if you tip me, I feel as though it becomes a paid service, which I didn't want to do. 
However, if I don't accept the tip, I'm being rude. What to do, what to do...


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Mary said:


> Not outraged, just attempting to clarify/ defend saying "tips aren't necessary but are appreciated." In no way am I taking issue with you as a person, I just disagree.
> Edit: and I apologize if the off-topic thing came off ash harsh/accusatory. That was not my intention.


It was not your post just many people saying “I don’t understand how you can get mad over someone asking for tips??” Or saying I have a personal problem with feeling guilty or pressure, because I’m sure some people have experienced that but it doesn’t make them weird. We just want to try to please others or not make them upset.


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## UglyMonsterFace (May 13, 2020)

I feel bad not tipping, and that's not because of them. It's because I feel it's the right thing to do in exchange for their effort and time. But those hosts are so kind and none have ever made me feel bad for not tipping, which has happened twice now. There was once I forgot to go to my ABD and bring bells and by the time I finished buying what I wanted at Ables, I had 1000 bells left and I felt like that would be worse than no tip, just like tipping a few cents to a server instead of just nothing. I felt bad about that not because they made me feel bad but I felt upset at myself for not realizing I didn't have enough money to tip. Then another time when the host was afk and this other person was stealing their tips. I chose not to leave a tip because it would have been stolen. I stayed as long as I could waiting for the host to come back but they didn't and I had to leave.. 

In my opinion, people who ask for a tip but say it isn't necessary are the angels of this community. I am more than happy to tip them for their time and them saying it in their threads do not make me feel bad. I actually only go to towns that say tip is optional because I'm happier to pay them vs someone asking people to pay a hefty amount to get in. It's just good manners I believe, and they have a right to say they appreciate tips, cuz who doesn't? But people who say that aren't guilting you. But I'm sure that receiving tips is a nice incentive to keep hosting. And they deserve every bit of it for what they do for us.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> see this is what I’m talking about, you just said that not giving a tip is rude lol
> 
> and I have hosted selling turnips on discord once but I didn’t have to deal with a bunch of people because I put the turnip exchange and set the queue to 10 people so it wasnt a hassle for me. My island isn’t complete so I don’t open my gates for strangers right now


"Kind of rude" Is not the same as rude. LOL It's more of a "Okay whatever dude".


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> Like a topic called “does anyone like the gorilla villagers” and the majority or the posts were saying “no” like they made that thread to find out who liked gorilla villagers not just to hear people say the opposite.



That's not really how a forum works though. People want to share their viewpoints, especially if it goes against the premise of the thread. You need to be direct if you're just looking to vent and want to find people who agree with you. I feel like this is more of a cultural issue, as already mentioned. Some countries don't do tipping at all, while for others it's expected to be part of the bill. 

I do agree a little bit with your viewpoint though, people should be tipping automatically to show their appreciation. It is kinda awkward to constantly mention it in every thread, but I feel like the people who are doing it just want to mention it for people who don't think of tips at all.


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## Reploid (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> Tips appreciated but not required is what I always say. I also always say to tip what you can, and if you can't afford it, then don't feel like you have to tip.
> I understand feeling annoyed when people say stuff like for turnips "Give me 50% of your turnip money as a tip" but like GUESS WHAT!!! You don't have to go to those people!! There's loads of people who don't ask for entry fees or high end tips!
> I have no idea how this annoys you like at all - Because if you feel like you HAVE to give the person a tip, but you don't actually cause they said they were appreciated but obvs not required and...*well not giving a tip is kind of rude* but like you don't have to leave a huge tip LOL


By saying it’s kind of rude not to tip, you’re making the opposite point.


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## Megaroni (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> It’s like being at a restaurant, tipping isn’t mandatory but everyone does it so you don’t feel like a jerk. By someone mentioning tips it makes some people feel obligated to do something and overthink.


I feel like at that point, telling others that it's THEIR fault that YOU'RE overthinking is a little harsh. If you're anxious and overthinking then it's not the host's fault, it's your lack of coping skills. This probably sounded harsh, and I completely accept an equally harsh response in return, but it bothers me when others blame people for their reactions.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

Mello said:


> Do I feel pressured to tip? No... I can't say I do.
> 
> On another note, what annoys me is when people tip me and I specifically tell them I don't want anything. I think it's kind that they're so insistent on tipping, but I'm offering a charity service, so if you tip me, I feel as though it becomes a paid service, which I didn't want to do.
> However, if I don't accept the tip, I'm being rude. What to do, what to do...


;0; I'm the type of person now I feel bad LOLOL I just feel like I'm taking people's time for free and think they deserve something for their time!


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## Hesper (May 13, 2020)

I also have yet to see how else I can express gratitude re: tips, when I'm inside a house and don't see them being left, and a visitor doesn't mention that they did anything. :'D Which has happened while I was hosting crafting for a shell arch. The real MVPs, but I want them to know it's appreciated, but sometimes people don't actually show their villager name on their profile and I can't hunt them down, and if they didn't say anything maybe they don't want me to anyway... 

It's just so much easier to say they're appreciated as an umbrella thing.


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## vndrll (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> Are you serious? I’m not even doing it to make anyone look bad and I don’t see how changing the title makes the posts off topic??? My OP is the same. I changed it so people can easily see what point I was trying to make and for people to stop being hostile because I put the word “annoyed”


Why are you even complaining, people are just being friendly. If you’re feeling pressured into leaving tips, leave tips. No one’s manipulating you, there’s no need to feel so paranoid about it.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

SuperiorTech said:


> By saying it’s kind of rude not to tip, you’re making the opposite point.


Kind of rude is not the same as rude I already said this. I said its more of a "Okay whatever dude" 
Please read my other post and sorry that my phrasing is confusing for some, but I already cleared this up.


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## Reploid (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> Kind of rude is not the same as rude I already said this. I said its more of a "Okay whatever dude"
> Please read my other post and sorry that my phrasing is confusing for some, but I already cleared this up.


It’s just weird phrasing on your part, because being “kind of” anything means you’re still kind of being that thing, just to a lesser extent.


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## necromaxxer (May 13, 2020)

it's called a "tip" for a reason, especially when it's not mandatory. if you don't want to leave a tip, don't leave a tip. if you want to leave a tip, leave a tip. i don't see the issue


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## Megaroni (May 13, 2020)

vndrll said:


> Why are you even complaining, people are just being friendly. If you’re feeling pressured into leaving tips, leave tips. No one’s manipulating you, there’s no need to feel so paranoid about it.


I feel like at this point OP was looking for sympathy/agreement by making this thread, and when they didn't get it they got confused and tried to defend themselves even more.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

megantron said:


> I feel like at that point, telling others that it's THEIR fault that YOU'RE overthinking is a little harsh. If you're anxious and overthinking then it's not the host's fault, it's your lack of coping skills. This probably sounded harsh, and I completely accept an equally harsh response in return, but it bothers me when others blame people for their reactions.


ok

I understand why this is being said to me because my OP was hostile and if I put it in a “nicer” way then people wouldn’t be like this.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

Here is the part of my comment that everyone seems to be ignoring and focusing on the part where I said "Kind of rude not to tip".



> It's nice to get tips, but I never think people who don't leave tips are the absolute worst, unless they were rude LOL
> I've hosted and co-hosted turnip spikes and I never asked for tips, I always say "tips appreciated but not required" because while it's nice to give tips, you don't need to, especially if you can't afford to! I actually had to tell people to stop tipping because they were giving WAY too much!!! Like I don't mind people taking 10 trips, but like tipping once is enough for me! You don't need to give 99k every single time lolol



So read my whole post before you're like "AAAAHHH YOU SAID ITS RUDE NOT TO TIP YOU ARE A BAD PERSON"


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## coffee biscuit (May 13, 2020)

You shouldn't feel pressured to give tips but it _is_ the nice thing to do. I never feel pressured to tip because I always try to tip anyways, even when people don't ask.
I do get kinda annoyed when people ask for tips like very certain furniture items only. Like, any kind of tip should be fine as long as it's a tip? I don't wanna bring someone a rare Saharah item just to see Celeste when I could drop a NMT instead, which are easier for me to access. Just my thoughts.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

megantron said:


> I feel like at this point OP was looking for sympathy/agreement by making this thread, and when they didn't get it they got confused and tried to defend themselves even more.


I wasn’t looking for sympathy, I just wanted to see if anyone felt the same. And if I phrased my original post in a nicer way then people wouldn’t be harsh.


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## Trent the Paladin (May 13, 2020)

I personally don’t visit islands that require tips because at that point it’s not a tip, it’s an entry fee. Like I get that hosting for turnips/DIYs kinda sucks and that if you’re spending a large amount of time, you’d like some investment back into the time spent/wasted. As far having “tips aren’t necessary, but appreciated”, the in game keyboard kinda sucks for communication and the AC community is very giving in the first place. Whether you mention tips or not, they just kinda happen sometimes.


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## vndrll (May 13, 2020)

megantron said:


> I feel like at that point, telling others that it's THEIR fault that YOU'RE overthinking is a little harsh. If you're anxious and overthinking then it's not the host's fault, it's your lack of coping skills. This probably sounded harsh, and I completely accept an equally harsh response in return, but it bothers me when others blame people for their reactions.


Well said Megantron, that’s exactly what I was thinking. This whole thread is so silly.

	Post automatically merged: May 13, 2020



megantron said:


> I feel like at this point OP was looking for sympathy/agreement by making this thread, and when they didn't get it they got confused and tried to defend themselves even more.


Dude fr


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## Asarena (May 13, 2020)

Honestly, I kind of get what you mean. Like, if someone really didn't care about tips then why mention them at all? You could just say "free entry" or such, and if someone wants to leave a tip then won't they do that anyway?


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

SuperiorTech said:


> It’s just weird phrasing on your part, because being “kind of” anything means you’re still kind of being that thing, just to a lesser extent.


Yeah bro sorry that I phrase things weird but like LOL if you read the whole post you can literally tell that is a literally meaningless part of my comment! Like did you see the word "Rude" and black out and not read my whole post??? I am so confused why that's the thing you focus on LOLOL

I went on the post and said "It's nice to get tips, but I never think people who don't leave tips are the absolute worst, unless they were rude LOL" so like....I think you can see that I don't think badly of people who don't tip LOLOLOL

Personally I do think it's kind of rude (In the "Okay, dude" way) to not tip when you can! Especially if you spend a lot of time on their island or it's something like time consuming for the host (Like them crafting you items, etc.) but like tips have never been a required thing, otherwise they'd be entry fees LOLOLOL


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## Reploid (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> Yeah bro sorry that I phrase things weird but like LOL if you read the whole post you can literally tell that is a literally meaningless part of my comment! Like did you see the word "Rude" and black out and not read my whole post??? I am so confused why that's the thing you focus on LOLOL
> 
> I went on the post and said "It's nice to get tips, but I never think people who don't leave tips are the absolute worst, unless they were rude LOL" so like....I think you can see that I don't think badly of people who don't tip LOLOLOL
> 
> Personally I do think it's kind of rude (In the "Okay, dude" way) to not tip when you can! Especially if you spend a lot of time on their island or it's something like time consuming for the host (Like them crafting you items, etc.) but like tips have never been a required thing, otherwise they'd be entry fees LOLOLOL


I’m sorry, I can’t take someone seriously who uses LOLOL superfluously. You win.

	Post automatically merged: May 13, 2020



Asarena said:


> Honestly, I kind of get what you mean. Like, if someone really didn't care about tips then why mention them at all? You could just say "free entry" or such, and if someone wants to leave a tip then won't they do that anyway?


 Bingo.


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## seliph (May 13, 2020)

Tom said:


> I personally don’t visit islands that require tips because at that point it’s not a tip, it’s an entry fee. Like I get that hosting for turnips/DIYs kinda sucks and that if you’re spending a large amount of time, you’d like some investment back into the time spent/wasted. As far having “tips aren’t necessary, but appreciated”, *the in game keyboard kinda sucks for communication* and the AC community is very giving in the first place. Whether you mention tips or not, they just kinda happen sometimes.



this is such a good point i just spent like a good minute trying to type "bye!" to a friend because nooklink was acting up and the ingame keyboard is a nightmare to use, i can only imagine having to discuss tips


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## Hopeless Opus (May 13, 2020)

no one should have to feel pressured to tip. i've opened my gates a few times and said tips were appreciated and didn't expect _anything_ but was so delighted to get some extra bells and even little presents. i think the gesture is incredibly sweet.

but if you feel so inclined to go over and tip someone, then just... don't go, if you don't want to tip? or just don't bring a tip at all, since it's optional, lol.


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## celesludenberg (May 13, 2020)

I don’t know if it’s because of my background in the salon and spa industry but I HAVE to tip regardless. I feel like if someone is offering a service, especially if it’s free, it’s just common decency to leave them a little something for their time.


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## Mairen (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> That's not really how a forum works though. People want to share their viewpoints, especially if it goes against the premise of the thread. You need to be direct if you're just looking to vent and want to find people who agree with you.



I gotta say I agree with this here, however. When you start a topic on a forum, you have to be open to all kinds of discussion on it: the good and the bad. By asking if people like gorilla villagers, there would actually be no point in even starting a thread if you were only going to allow people to give one response - yes. it makes things more interesting when people can offer all different types of viewpoints and keeps the discussion going. 

It's the same for this thread. Some people are going to understand and agree with your viewpoints. Other people aren't going to agree with you and offer their own insight. Both are positive for furthering discussion!


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## UglyMonsterFace (May 13, 2020)

People mention tips because a) they wanna list preferred tips (like bells, nmts, extra diy, etc) or b) just to say that they aren't opposed to tips. Like I'm sure they feel happy regardless cuz they are helping others, but receiving a little something might just make them feel a little bit more appreciated, which is a nice feeling. I think people are just reading too much into the intention of the host.. it says tips optional so take it as it is. You don't need to tip. They are not bad mouthing you or making people feel horrible. Honestly if they were just greedy people who only cared about your tips, and not the "helping the community" aspect of it, then they would just charge you an entry fee and be done with it. There is no ulterior motive just cuz they mentioned optional tips.


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## Mairen (May 13, 2020)

Reading the replies on this thread actually made me feel better about being poor and not being able to tip all the time. I suppose if someone was truly wanting a payment of some kind, then they would actually charge an entry fee. I'll still try to leave a worthy tip whenever I can though! >.<


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## Santana (May 13, 2020)

Megina said:


> Why not?
> 
> I'm just shocked, reading through this thread, how *intense* it feels like it got.


Yea I feel like that’s a completely valid sentiment. Ik you didn’t mean any harm by saying that


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Santana said:


> Yea I feel like that’s a completely valid sentiment. Ik you didn’t mean any harm by saying that





Megina said:


> Why not?
> 
> I'm just shocked, reading through this thread, how *intense* it feels like it got.


I agree it did get intense. Sorry, I just thought you were calling me a mess. I know I’m assuming but after the replies I’ve gotten im getting very defensive.


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## Santana (May 13, 2020)

Mairen said:


> Reading the replies on this thread actually made me feel better about being poor and not being able to tip all the time. I suppose if someone was truly wanting a payment of some kind, then they would actually charge an entry fee. I'll still try to leave a worthy tip whenever I can though! >.<


Just know that we are completely fine with accommodating to those who may be starting. Don’t feel bad when you gotta look after yourself, and if one day we do trade and you don’t feel like you have the resources, feel free to negotiate with me


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## Megina (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> I agree it did get intense. Sorry, I just thought you were calling me a mess. I know I’m assuming but after the replies I’ve gotten im getting very defensive.


Oh no, that wasn't my intent!
Sorry it came off that way.


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## thegunpowderincident (May 13, 2020)

People who say anything along the lines of "tips are appreciated but not necessary" are, most of the time, not keeping track or even noticing who tips and who doesn't. I've stood right by my airport as everyone came & went, and still didn't pick up on who did what. I can understand where the feeling of pressure to tip comes from, but it's really not warranted.


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## jokk (May 13, 2020)

i don't think you deserve all the heat you're getting right now. i understand what you're trying to say: if you don't care about tips, why mention it, right?
however, i do disagree. i think you're misunderstanding the intentions of the people who say _tips appreciated, not necessary_. i've used the phrase before when i've hosted to mean:

you absolutely do NOT have to tip and i will not think poorly of you if you choose not to
i am grateful for the tips that i do get; i appreciate being compensated for my time and energy


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## Tatoenami (May 13, 2020)

Personally, I feel so rude if I don't tip. I saw another reply saying they disliked getting tip if they never asked for it, but coming from a person who insists on tipping it just eats me up inside if I don't. It's just my habit and a part of my culture irl that's transferred to AC   

I guess this is kind of like fast food or boba shops.? They're not really doing you any service except taking your order and dishing it out to you, but do they deserve a tip? It just depends on the customer  .

Side story: I remember when I first went to someone's island because they were offering to craft moon chairs for free (if you brought materials). And I didn't know how much to tip so I just left stacks LMAO.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Megina said:


> Oh no, that wasn't my intent!
> Sorry it came off that way.


I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to be rude


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## ForgottenT (May 13, 2020)

I always bring a couple hybrids, even if they don't ask for tips, or mention it at all.


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## Megina (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to be rude


It's okay ~ Really!
Don't stress it <3


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## Maiana (May 13, 2020)

As long as I don't forget, I always tip. Sometimes I may be a klutz and forget an NMT or some bells to give, and yes I do feel bad a bit, but it was a free service so I thank them and carry on with my day.
But for the most part, I never feel pressured to tip since it has become apart of my routine when I go to other peoples islands~ Especially if they're taking time out of there day to host and regulate their islands for others to come and visit for a service or an NPC visit. Being a host is stressful, and I have to thank them somehow.


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> I wasn’t looking for sympathy, I just wanted to see if anyone felt the same. And if I phrased my original post in a nicer way then people wouldn’t be harsh.



Yeah, saying things like "why mention [a tip]?" and "You shouldn’t have to charge players to visit your island" are too controversial if you just want to discuss how tips should be a common courtesy and not-asking asking for one could be considered rude. But I think this kind of discussion assumes that people think anything when they write "tips appreciated" and I really don't think they do. It's just a pretty regular post that no one thinks too hard about, if people say they don't need tips then you should respect what they're saying and not fear the opposite.

From my own experience I can tell you that people with open island services tend to be more bothered by people not saying hello and thank you rather than for not giving a tip. Many islands even have a corner for gifts for their visitors, and often people thanked me for visiting their island and using their services. People who open up their island like that are really kind and they deserve to receive tips by mentioning them.


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## EtchaSketch (May 13, 2020)

Hey OP! I understand what you’re saying, I’m sorry you’re getting hate. While I don’t necessarily agree with you, I hope everything here gets settled!


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## victoriae350 (May 13, 2020)

Ignore this.


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## morthael (May 13, 2020)

idk if this has been brought up yet but the other reason why i include “tips are appreciated but not required” when i host is because people have asked me if i wanted anything in return when i forget to post a disclaimer. i found that it mitigates questions like that and lets the user know exactly that while tips are nice, there’s no need. personally, i always tip even virtually because i’ve worked in the retail/service industry and equate it to a job well done or an appreciation of my time/service but there has been circumstances where i haven’t tipped at people’s islands because i was flat broke and none have held that against me. i think at this point it’s just a matter of perspective and the culture of tipping where you live but that shouldn’t stop you from visiting people‘s islands.

edit: it anything, i’m more bothered by people not saying hello when i greet them but that’s another discussion for another day.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

jokk said:


> i really don't think op posted this as bait. i'm on your side of the argument, but i don't think there's any need to call someone cringey for expressing an anxiety that they have. shouldn't we as a community be reassuring, not accusatory?


Thank you. I didnt post it as bait, these feelings must be hard to believe.


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

jokk said:


> shouldn't we as a community be reassuring, not accusatory?



Sometimes discussions can get a little bit headed and emotional for no reason, but I never understand the point of ridiculing an OP for an unpopular opinion. It's still a person making a thread on a forum, and all they're doing is talking about a video game and its multiplayer aspect.


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## thegunpowderincident (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> From my own experience I can tell you that people with open island services tend to be more bothered by people not saying hello and thank you rather than for not giving a tip.



This is how I am lol, I don't care if someone doesn't tip, but I will care if they can't be bothered to be polite.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

jokk said:


> i really don't think op posted this as bait. i'm on your side of the argument, but i don't think there's any need to call someone cringey for expressing an anxiety that they have. shouldn't we as a community be reassuring, not accusatory?


that was joke LOL i thought the "owo" was enough for that. and honestly tho? i do really feel like it was bait, especially with their phrasing on their first post cause it wasn't about tips, it was about people who guilt trip about tips basically acting like theyre entry fees or asking for tips of rare items and stuff, not really about tips or their first title which was "anyone feel annoyed by "tips appreciated"" which is a whole different thing than what they were talking about, so if not bait, the original title was bait for sure.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> Sometimes discussions can get a little bit headed and emotional for no reason, but I never understand the point of ridiculing an OP for an unpopular opinion. It's still a person making a thread on a forum, and all they're doing is talking about a video game and its multiplayer aspect.


Thanks. I shouldn’t have to be jumped on for expressing my opinion. I already reported the thread to get locked because it’s gotten out of hand.


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## Megaroni (May 13, 2020)

Santana said:


> Just know that we are completely fine with accommodating to those who may be starting. Don’t feel bad when you gotta look after yourself, and if one day we do trade and you don’t feel like you have the resources, feel free to negotiate with me


I agree with this. I tip because I have the means to in the game, it definitely shouldn't be mandatory for people just starting. Most people on this forum are more than happy to help out newcomers.


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## jokk (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> From my own experience I can tell you that people with open island services tend to be more bothered by people not saying hello and thank you rather than for not giving a tip. Many islands even have a corner for gifts for their visitors, and often people thanked me for visiting their island and using their services.


this! yes it's nice to receive a tip, but i don't get disappointed when someone doesn't tip. i DO get disappointed when someone comes and goes without saying a word


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## dragonair (May 13, 2020)

Honestly, I feel like in some cases (or just mine, who knows lol) people say "tips are appreciated but not required" to make people feel less bad about not being able to tip. I feel like if I don't say anything it will seem like I'm expecting one outright and sometimes people will ask anyway if tipping is okay so I just mention it just in case. Like I've said, I've never felt pressured but you also have your own life experiences and your own personality so I hope my or anyone else's response doesn't make it come off like you're bad for feeling that way ; v ;


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> it wasn't about tips, it was about people who guilt trip about tips basically acting like theyre entry fees or asking for tips of rare items and stuff, not really about tips or their first title which was "anyone feel annoyed by "tips appreciated"" which is a whole different thing than what they were talking about, so if not bait, the original title was bait for sure.



Isn't "tips appreciated" guilt-tripping in the mildest sense of the definition? It might be an extreme emotional reaction to a common sentence, but I don't think OP was being disingenuous. And I think it's a little bit petty to say this thread is not about tips but people talking about tips.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> Isn't "tips appreciated" guilt-tripping in the mildest sense of the definition? It might be an extreme emotional reaction to a common sentence, but I don't think OP was being disingenuous. And I think it's a little bit petty to say this thread is not about tips but people talking about tips.


I don't see how it's guilt tripping? I've been guilt tripped so like...I feel like that not really a good example of guilt tripping, it's just telling ppl they're appreciated not required lol


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## DubiousDelphine (May 13, 2020)

things happen. People tip without me tipping. I feel so bad that i don't tip. so i might just come back to the island and tip later. I don't understand why i feel like that....


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## Llunavale (May 13, 2020)

Hmm... I'm a bit indifferent on this one. Where I live, tipping IRL is not mandatory by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, in some places, it's outright discouraged because management actually collect the tips and distribute them with salary taking a percentage off. I often have to ask my server if the tips go directly to them, if I want to leave a tip at all. Many smaller, perhaps family run food places will leave small tip jars out on the counter though, for if you want to leave your change after paying and to me, that's exactly what the "tips appreciated" thing is like - a small, optional way to show your appreciation outside of thanking them for their time (which is not to say, saying "thank you" is any less meaningful, of course). So I'll usually leave a small token of gratitude if someone has gone out of their way for me, whether they ask or not, some bells, couple of NMT if I'm really grateful. It makes their time more mutually beneficial.



Mairen said:


> Reading the replies on this thread actually made me feel better about being poor and not being able to tip all the time. *I suppose if someone was truly wanting a payment of some kind, then they would actually charge an entry fee.* I'll still try to leave a worthy tip whenever I can though! >.<


I think this is absolutely the best way to look at it. If someone _really_ wanted you to leave them something, they'd just charge a fee instead (and plenty of people do). If someone implies it's optional, don't feel compelled to leave a tip if you don't want to / aren't in a position to.


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> I don't see how it's guilt tripping? I've been guilt tripped so like...I feel like that not really a good example of guilt tripping, it's just telling ppl they're appreciated not required lol



I think a good example for this is a donation box at a cash register. You're there for something, they know you have money on you and they mention that a donation would be appreciated. Wouldn't you feel awkward leaving without putting something in the donation box while someone is staring you hoping you leave something? There's no bad intention here, but you do get a little bit pressured by the circumstances.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> I think a good example for this is a donation box at a cash register. You're there for something, they know you have money on you and they mention that a donation would be appreciated. Wouldn't you feel awkward leaving without putting something in the donation box while someone is staring you hoping you leave something? There's no bad intention here, but you do get a little bit pressured by the circumstances.


That's not guilt tripping however, that's misuse of the word lol


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## Hay (May 13, 2020)

As someone who has both made an entry fee tip and has said "tips are necessary but not mandatory" I think no one should feel pressure. Is it nice to get a tip? Yes! Do I expect it or cry when I dont get it? No. I know there are people who do not have the funds for a tip and thats okay. I also think that if you can tip, its nice to do so. I always tip (execpt once when I forgot to :c ) and I treat it the same as tipping my waiter or  Uber. I think its even more important to tip (if they dont ask for one!) when you go to an island with a good turnip price. Its just really nice to show your thanks with a tip! Thats just how I see it c:

Edit: I wanted to add that I write "tips are necessary but not mandatory" because I know some people just dont have the extra bells or NMT I do.. so if you dont then thats fine! I offer my island up to help others but if you dont tip, thats okay with me! Im not gonna sit here and say that I dont want a tip, because I do, but if someone doesnt tip Im okay with it. Sure they may just not wanna tip and thats okay! 

 I know its just a video game but maybe your 1 NMT could be the ticket that finds the person their dreamie, or the bells could make it so their loan is paid off or they can buy the furniture they have wanted in their cranny... just a thought


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## morthael (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> I don't see how it's guilt tripping? I've been guilt tripped so like...I feel like that not really a good example of guilt tripping, it's just telling ppl they're appreciated not required lol


i can see how it can sound like “it’s guilt tripping” but this is a matter of perspectives and the individual experience because to an anxious person like me, it can definitely sound like one but to you it might not. i don’t think there’s a need to be calling the OP’s opinion “baity,” etc. when it can be a very real thing to them.


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## astoria (May 13, 2020)

morthael said:


> i can see how it can sound like “it’s guilt tripping” but this is a matter of perspectives and the individual experience because to an anxious person like me, it can definitely sound like one but to you it might not. i don’t think there’s a need to be calling the OP’s opinion “baity,” etc. when it can be a very real thing to them.


Yes I do suffer from anxiety IRL so I know that’s a factor in me feeling pressured.


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

Sudsofsplash said:


> That's not guilt tripping however, that's misuse of the word lol



I can see your viewpoint, but I disagree. In my opinion there are multiple forms of guilt tripping. I don't necessarily agree with the OP on this one, but when you say "tips appreciated" you do kinda put the expectation out there even if you don't mean to. If you say tips appreciated people are more likely to tip, it's more meant as a reminder imo but I can understand how it affects people too. When someone says "tips appreciated but not necessary", I can see how someone would worry because technically it's more meant for people who couldn't afford to tip.

With anxiety the ambiguity can trigger a lot of worry.


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## Loubelle (May 13, 2020)

I don't usually feel pressured into tipping if they say tips aren't required, and I would leave a tip of like 10k bells, but I don't know if thats like a laughable amount or something like idk if that's a small tip or what and I never know what an appropriate tip would be, so if it says tips aren't required then I don't worry too much about if I tip/ if it's too much/ too little. If i'm selling turnips in someone's island, however, I will always tip (usually 99k) c: even if it isn't required


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## 0orchid (May 13, 2020)

I like tipping anyway so I don't mind. I think it doesn't make you any more obligated for someone to put out there that tips would be nice. People taking time out of their day to help people with turnips or whatever for free makes me want to tip them regardless of whether they ask for tips or not personally.


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## xara (May 13, 2020)

i don’t feel necessarily pressured but i do feel a bit odd if i don’t tip, even if the host says its not required ;u;


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## Hay (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> I can see your viewpoint, but I disagree. In my opinion there are multiple forms of guilt tripping. I don't necessarily agree with the OP on this one, but when you say "tips appreciated" you do kinda put the expectation out there even if you don't mean to. If you say tips appreciated people are more likely to tip, it's more meant as a reminder imo but I can understand how it affects people too. When someone says "tips appreciated but not necessary", I can see how someone would worry because technically it's more meant for people who couldn't afford to tip.


I see both sides of this argument! I just dont see the word "guilt trip" being the best. I think the word "pressure" would be nice since the definition of guilt trip is _"make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something" _but you are just saying you dont need to tip, just would be nice. I think it would be guilt tripping if someone said "you dont need to tip but my sister stole my bells/dad is crazy/ and my island is only a one star rn but its up to you!!!!". The fact that the person is saying "oh look how bad my life is help me (but only if you want not gonna make you!)" is guilt tripping. Thats just my take


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## Blood Eclipse (May 13, 2020)

As a host: I'm one to write "tips are appreciated, but not required." I usually do so in small letters, hoping to get across that it isn't forced. I don't throw a rage fit if someone doesn't tip nor do I blacklist them--they're always welcomed back regardless of whether they tip or not.

As a visitor: I feel some pressure to tip, not because they write "tips are appreciated", but because they're taking time out of their day to open their island up when they could just not do it at all. I feel bad when I can't tip them an item from their wishlist (if they post one), so I usually drop them some bells to show appreciation in some form. So far, none of the players I've visited have responded rude if I can't get them something they wanted. I'm just glad a free option is there.

I don't think sellers should get any flak either (I see too many getting hate), unless the price they demand is unreasonably high. I got a lot of items through sellers that I couldn't find normally otherwise. I'm glad they're an option too.


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## swifterly (May 13, 2020)

astoria said:


> ... I was never posting the thread as bait. I changed my post title so people would stop attacking me and see my point of feeling pressured to tip. It’s not that hard to understand. Who would love to get a whole thread being negative towards them??



OP, I understand where you're coming from and I think most people in this thread are being a bit harsh. The way you worded the question at first (with "annoyed") probably rubbed people the wrong way/seemed a little rude, but I understood what you were going for. I feel pressured to tip too and when I do leave without tipping, I feel nervous and guilty, like I'm gonna get caught and called out on it lol. I'm from west coast America if that's relevant.

I've even heard of people who said "no fee but tips appreciated" kicking the visitor if they didn't tip, although I'm sure this is quite rare.

On the other hand, I can also understand this from the host's side. I have done a DIY giveaway and said nothing about tips, but some people brought them anyway and I felt a little weird accepting them (I thought it was too much but like I wasn't gonna refuse...) So then next time when I hosted for a meteor shower, I said no fee but if you'd *like* to tip, some crafting materials or  just watering my flowers would be great. Probably a little under half brought materials and almost everyone watered my flowers. I wouldn't have minded if they didn't, but I felt like specifying it removed a layer of awkwardness and ambiguity.

So, basically... I get the weirdness and anxiety around "tips appreciated" but I also get why so many people use it. I think your original post was strongly worded, but ppl are taking it way too seriously tbh. You should be able to vent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

Hay said:


> I see both sides of this argument! I just dont see the word "guilt trip" being the best. I think the word "pressure" would be nice since the definition of guilt trip is _"make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something" _but you are just saying you dont need to tip, just would be nice. I think it would be guilt tripping if someone said "you dont need to tip but my sister stole my bells/dad is crazy/ and my island is only a one star rn but its up to you!!!!". The fact that the person is saying "oh look how bad my life is help me (but only if you want not gonna make you!)" is guilt tripping. Thats just my take


Thank you for putting it in word! lol im not the best at writing my thoughts out ;0; but this is why i was like "i dont think guilt tripping is the right term"


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

Hay said:


> I see both sides of this argument! I just dont see the word "guilt trip" being the best. I think the word "pressure" would be nice since the definition of guilt trip is _"make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something" _but you are just saying you dont need to tip, just would be nice. I think it would be guilt tripping if someone said "you dont need to tip but my sister stole my bells/dad is crazy/ and my island is only a one star rn but its up to you!!!!". The fact that the person is saying "oh look how bad my life is help me (but only if you want not gonna make you!)" is guilt tripping. Thats just my take



I can definitely see how pressure is the better word for this situation. "I feel pressured into tipping because the host mentioned it." I can understand how someone can develop negative feelings towards that because they feel like their choice is being taken away.


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## Hay (May 13, 2020)

Romaki said:


> I can definitely see how pressure is the better word for this situation. "I feel pressured into tipping because the host mentioned it." I can understand how someone can develop negative feelings towards that because they feel like their choice is being taken away.


Yea! After reading all this it has opened my eyes on other people’s opinions, so thank you for sharing!

	Post automatically merged: May 13, 2020



Sudsofsplash said:


> Thank you for putting it in word! lol im not the best at writing my thoughts out ;0; but this is why i was like "i dont think guilt tripping is the right term"


Of course! I can see the word choice of guilt tripping and honestly I might have said the same thing too! Just when I googled it I realized it didn’t fit in my opinion c:


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## Hesper (May 13, 2020)

Am I the only one who actually prefers people not saying anything? Lol typing in-game is so annoying, so I feel awkward responding and writing similar things a lot, and it's another thing that interferes with people trying to get in/leave. I'm also extremely introverted, though.


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## Sudsofsplash (May 13, 2020)

I apologize to anyone (Including OP) if I offended anyone with my words. I've never been the best with words, so I do know I come off...mean or sarcastic a lot when I don't mean to. I honest to god was not trying to argue with anyone LOL I was just stating my opinions, which was what I assumed this forum was for and tbh it read as total bait, even if it wasn't meant as bait - I've dealt with a lot of people baiting people into arguments (Especially on forums, discord servers, etc.) and for me I had red flags all over this post mainly because of phrasing made it seem as if it were bait, and I'm not saying it is bait! I think OP said it wasn't!


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## Blood Eclipse (May 13, 2020)

Hesper said:


> Am I the only one who actually prefers people not saying anything? Lol typing in-game is so annoying, so I feel awkward responding and writing similar things a lot, and it's another thing that interferes with people trying to get in/leave. I'm also extremely introverted, though.



I usually feel pressured to say something, but I prefer silence too. Maybe a "hi" and "bye" to let me know you're there or not, but other than that, typing on the Switch is annoying and tedious, at least for me.


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## Romaki (May 13, 2020)

@Sudsofsplash Aw, don't worry about it! The forum is there to discuss things and talk them through.


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## Reploid (May 13, 2020)

Kuriboh said:


> I usually feel pressured to say something, but I prefer silence too. Maybe a "hi" and "bye" to let me know you're there or not, but other than that, typing on the Switch is annoying and tedious, at least for me.


This is why I caved and downloaded the Nintendo online app so I can type with my phone.


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## Rosch (May 13, 2020)

I still try to give 1 NMT as a tip even when the person says it's not necessary. There's always that little guilt.


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## trashpedia (May 13, 2020)

Not really, but I always drop 1 NMT as a tip tho


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## stiney (May 13, 2020)

UglyMonsterFace said:


> People mention tips because a) they wanna list preferred tips (like bells, nmts, extra diy, etc) or b) just to say that they aren't opposed to tips. Like I'm sure they feel happy regardless cuz they are helping others, but receiving a little something might just make them feel a little bit more appreciated, which is a nice feeling. I think people are just reading too much into the intention of the host.. it says tips optional so take it as it is. You don't need to tip. They are not bad mouthing you or making people feel horrible. Honestly if they were just greedy people who only cared about your tips, and not the "helping the community" aspect of it, then they would just charge you an entry fee and be done with it. There is no ulterior motive just cuz they mentioned optional tips.


Thanks for this. I had my first time with good turnip prices and posted my first giveaway. Free entry and tips not necessary but appreciated and honestly was wondering if I was being a jerk because of this thread after feeling good about helping out some fellow players. I did mean that tips weren’t necessary, 100% for real, but I also very much appreciate the tips people left me.

	Post automatically merged: May 13, 2020



Romaki said:


> I think a good example for this is a donation box at a cash register. You're there for something, they know you have money on you and they mention that a donation would be appreciated. Wouldn't you feel awkward leaving without putting something in the donation box while someone is staring you hoping you leave something? There's no bad intention here, but you do get a little bit pressured by the circumstances.


Nope. I budget how and where to spend my charity donations and don’t let people pressure me into giving more money than I’ve already allocated. I turn down charity muggers (the clipboard people who hang out in touristy spots or even ring the doorbell of my apartment and those donation things at grocery stores that go in the windows, too, and those people ask and don’t just stare.


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## skogkyst (May 13, 2020)

I always say it's not necessary but appreciated, and here's why: I like tips! I enjoy getting stuff, however, I am also willing to give away some services/goods for free. It's no pressure, I don't judge non-tippers, but I want to clarify that people aren't needing to pay to enter and mentioning it is the best way to do so. At the same time, I don't want to discourage tipping. Basically, by saying that, I'm being as straightforward as I can by saying things are free but if you want to give me a tip, you can.


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## mkyoshi7 (May 13, 2020)

I've hosted quite a few times and I've never required a tip. I usually give a few examples of what I'm looking for, but if someone gives me something else they're giving it to me for free so I appreciate everything people drop off at my airport - big or small. Recently I've asked for random furniture and there have been people that give me 4 and people that give me none. At the end of the day, I don't really mind either way. Even if you came and dropped literally anything else as a tip, I'd be happy!

When I visit others, I almost always tip at least 20k if I have the bells on me, which is almost always. Either that or something from their wishlist. I think putting a wishlist up when you're hosting is great for showing your visitors what would be most useful, because you don't lose anything by bringing a furniture from your storage to let them catalog. The only time I specifically remember not tipping 20k or a wishlist item when I could have is when I visited someone that said no tips required and then asked for a tip in game. I still gave them a 10k though.


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## meggtheegg (May 14, 2020)

i dont see any problem in someone who's opening their island up for no set fee to say tips are appreciated. i say this in my own posts because i know everyone is at a different point in the game. i dont expect anyone to be able to afford fees equally, that's why i set it as just a tips appreciated. that way people can bring bells, nmt, extra diys, flowers, fruit, furniture, pocket link, literally whatever they have and are comfortably able to do, or nothing at all.

i used to not include a "tips appreciated but not necessary" line in my posts but I once opened my island for 2 hours, sacrificing part of my afternoon and 2 hours of playtime to stand by the gate, and for an entire hour of that time waited on three people who said they would come and went immediately afk. once they all came 45 min to an hour later, they all left without leaving so much as a fruit. and that's more offensive to me than saying "tips appreciated but not necessary," as i cant imagine being that rude and inconsiderate about someones time and leaving without so much as a gesture as a thank you....

i think for me it's less about the material things people bring and more about the gesture of a thank you to someone who's kindly agreed to completely pause their playtime for hours at a time just to let strangers in for no set price. for some people, like me, doing so is also really anxiety inducing, so gestures of thanks really mean a lot, no matter what they are. i've had someone drop 3 of my native fruit LOL and it's not a big deal to me, it was them saying thank you, and that's what i appreciate ^^ even just one person dropping a couple fruits makes me feel nice and appreciated.

of course, i dont think its in good taste to call someone out or be mean to someone for not tipping. but i dont think its in good taste to call people out for saying they appreciate tips for opening their island up for you for no set fee either.


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## Corrie (May 14, 2020)

If someone is giving away something for free, I always feel like I should do the same back! That said, it's just more my personality than anything they said or did. If someone makes me happy, I wanna make them happy back!


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

Yeah, it's unnecessary, and when that phrase is used, it works psychologically as a form of "compulsory incentive".

Everyone who played or at least read about Bioshock knows the phrase "Would you Kindly".

"*Would you kindly*" is a phrase that was programmed to function as a trigger for the post-hypnotic suggestions programmed into the mind of Jack. The system was created by Dr. Yi Suchong and was used by Frank Fontaine, posing as Atlas, to control Jack's actions while guiding him through Rapture to achieve his plans for killing Andrew Ryan."

There's a whole semantic problem with this as well. Tips, by definition, are never necessary, otherwise they would be a fee. So saying that is just stating the obvious (water is wet). Everybody appreciates kind gestures and receiving gifts - and technically, this is exactly what a tip is. So it's also unnecessary to state that "tips are appreciated" because they always are.

The only thing that one could feel the need to state in this case is if they absolutely don't want any kind of compensation, tip, gift, whatever, and then, they state something along the lines of "Free entry, don't give me tips or anything else". This could be seen as a necessary thing to state because a lot of people do have an habit to leave tips, a statement like that would serve the purpose of stopping people from doing something they could do spontaneously.

There's no mental gymnastics that can explain this differently.


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## astoria (May 14, 2020)

Raz said:


> Yeah, it's unnecessary, and when that phrase is used, it works psychologically as a form of "compulsory inventive".
> 
> Everyone who played or at least read about Bioshock knows the phrase "Would you Kindly".
> 
> ...


Great post! You’ve explained everything well and that’s what I was trying to say. That it doesn’t need to be stated.


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## Frequency (May 14, 2020)

I personally mention something like this because, to my knowledge, it's automatically assumed that people should tip (especially during the New Leaf days where it was only IGB, not both IGB and NMT, so now people either ask for one or the other or both). So, if I say, "tipping isn't necessary, but appreciated", I'm just trying to let you know that it really isn't a big deal if you tip me or not, but if you do, I appreciate it because you really didn't have to / went out of your way to still tip me and I know not everyone can tip sometimes so I'm just trying to help those out in need.


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## allainah (May 14, 2020)

ayeeprill said:


> i mean if they say it's not necessary then I don't personally see the problem???


this ^^? and if someones letting you into their town expecting a "tip" or a small payment of some sort is fine and not greedy at all lol


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

Frequency said:


> I personally mention something like this because, *to my knowledge, it's automatically assumed that people should tip *(especially during the New Leaf days where it was only IGB, not both IGB and NMT, so now people either ask for one or the other or both). So, if I say, "tipping isn't necessary, but appreciated", *I'm just trying to let you know that it really isn't a big deal if you tip me or not*, but if you do, I appreciate it because you really didn't have to / went out of your way to still tip me and I know not everyone can tip sometimes so I'm just trying to help those out in need.


Do you see how both these statements contradict one another on a cultural level?

By using the "tips aren't necessary but always appreciated", one is reinforcing the first statement, that it's assumed that people should always tip. More than that, it's reinforcing a cultural behavior that people are trying to solidify. This becomes the accepted norm, the expected etiquette, and when you're part of a community, it's expected that you follow it's etiquette and unwritten rules.


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## DJStarstryker (May 14, 2020)

I give tips. I'm not giving NMTs or star fragments or gold nuggets because as a non-TTer, those are rarer even for me. I tend to either give wishlist items, IGB, hybrids, or a combination of the three. I gave several stacks of common materials once too (wood, iron nuggets, stone) when someone specifically asked for that as a tip. I wouldn't give common materials as a tip unless that's specifically requested though, since I'd prefer to give something a little bit nicer.

The person is using their time to let you do something for free, so I think it's nice to do something for them.


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## thatawkwardkid (May 14, 2020)

No, I usually tip regardless unless the host was rude.


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

Now that I touched on the subject of the thread on a non-personal level, let me say how I tackle these situations:

I always state that it's free to enter and that you don't need to tip. I've sometimes said "don't tip", even if I can understand that someone feels pressured to tip because the comm has created this behavior and expectancy on people. 

Most of the time in AC, I'm giving more than I'm taking. This is part of what makes AC fun for me. If I'm opening my island for people to get a diy, talk to Celeste or any other thing, I'm doing that because helping these people is what I like to do. Knowing that I could be helpful to others, that's my reward. I'm not offering a service, I'm lending them a hand, doing a favor. 

I often approach people here through PMs offering things I saw they saying they were looking after. If it just one or two things, I just give these away to them. If it's a lot of items, or someone I'm using, I at least tell them to come and catalog what they want. I've been approached by other members who did the same for me. This is the true spirit of the game, it's the basis where AC was created: share things, help others, grow together. 

I often leave tips because giving things to to other people is how I play the game. However I always talk about it first, because if someone says "I don't want tips" I will respect their position, as I understand where they coming from.


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## chibski (May 14, 2020)

I take part in a few lowkey communities that discourage tipping. I never charge for anything myself, and personally don't tip when I visit people in those communities. If I'm on Reddit or some random Discord server then I'll usually tip out of obligation. I wish it wasn't a necessity, but it does seem rather expected now. There have been multiple times where someone has said "tips appreciated but not necessary" and then posted a rant later on complaining that nobody tipped even though they kept their island open for hours.


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## senbeiiscool (May 14, 2020)

I always tip regardless if it's free entry. I only don't tip if there is a fee or if I the deal I stuck was particularly good or something I've really wanted and have been searching for a while, then I happily give more than asked


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## elo-chan (May 14, 2020)

As someone that has been on both sides of the trade (receiving and giving) it doesn't bother me all that much. Just don't feel pressured to tip largely, especially when the service is free? Sometimes when I'm grabbing a DIY from someone's villager I'll tip 10k on the way out, or maybe plant a few hybrids. I just do it to show them appreciation given the fact that they've opened their gates to large amounts of people and have to repeatedly go through the dreaded airport cutscene for hours (looking at you, turnip traders).


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## kojuuro (May 14, 2020)

I always tip, doesn't matter if it's optional.  I think if a person is kind enough to donate their time in letting me visit their island, I want to at least repay them in some way (in this case, tips).


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## Nefarious (May 14, 2020)

I honestly don't know how else to put the list of specific things I appreciate as a tip without feeling like I'm pressuring others. "Tips are not necessary, if you feel like tipping, here's a list of things I'd love to catalog. It's no biggie though, just visit me please, I like helping others." Would that work? Should I just put my wishlist in my signature and those that want to tip that way will see it and automatically know?

I don't feel pressured in tipping others, as I like giving anyways, _it's asking for specific stuff as a tip without making it seem like I *need* to be tipped is what pressures me the most. :'^]_

I opened my island earlier to let people come by to shop at my Nook's Cranny as it was selling Books. I just bite the bullet and said it straight forward. Many of them did end up tipping me in the way of letting me catalog their items which I'm very grateful for, I do hope that none of them felt pressured into tipping me though, I'd rather them do what they feel most comfortable to do, whether it's tipping one way or another or not tipping at all.


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## Aliya (May 14, 2020)

I usually tip regardless if people are looking for tips or not since it's time-consuming to host a lot of people on your island with all the cutscenes. I just avoid islands with higher entry fees so I can avoid being pressured into overpaying. Most people have reasonable tips and IMO it's the loud minority that can be overwhelming and put pressure on you. 

Remember there's a ton of people who pay AC and many of those people have hearts bigger than I can imagine!


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## astoria (May 14, 2020)

NefariousKing said:


> I honestly don't know how else to put the list of specific things I appreciate as a tip without feeling like I'm pressuring others. "Tips are not necessary, if you feel like tipping, here's a list of things I'd love to catalog. It's no biggie though, just visit me please, I like helping others." Would that work? Should I just put my wishlist in my signature and those that want to tip that way will see it and automatically know?
> 
> I don't feel pressured in tipping others, as I like giving anyways, _it's asking for specific stuff as a tip without making it seem like I *need* to be tipped is what pressures me the most. :'^]_
> 
> I opened my island earlier to let people come by to shop at my Nook's Cranny as it was selling Books. I just bite the bullet and said it straight forward. Many of them did end up tipping me in the way of letting me catalog their items which I'm very grateful for, I do hope that none of them felt pressured into tipping me though, I'd rather them do what they feel most comfortable to do, whether it's tipping one way or another or not tipping at all.


You don’t have to change anything, from the responses of the thread there are few people that feel the same as I do. I wasn’t talking about the forums as I haven’t visited any islands here. It’s just things I’ve seen on other sites like discord.


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## FireNinja1 (May 14, 2020)

I don't think that I necessarily feel pressure to tip per se. There isn't a clear culture around whether to tip or not (i.e. it's not like the restaurant industry). Furthermore, I treat tips as distinct from entry fees. As I see it, tips are optional, while entry fees are not. People have a choice of using which term to use, and whether or not they want you to give payment should be reflected in that choice.

That being said, if I am asked to pay an entry fee, I will almost always pay the entry fee and nothing more. There are some cases where I elect to pay additional bells / NMT on top of what is being asked, but those are few and far between.


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## Bugs (May 14, 2020)

I like to host giveaways and recently I let people sell turnips in my town with a 500+ price for free.

I usually say that tips are not necessary but if you feel like you want to please only IGB or something along those lines only because I'm not interested in NMT, even then if somebody tips NMT I'll still say thank you.

People have come and gone without leaving anything and I really don't care. If I specifically wanted payment I would have sold the DIYs or entry rather than give them away.


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## Pretty Dead Boy (May 14, 2020)

Personally, I feel like I have a personal responsibility to tip people especially when they say ‘tips are appreciated but not required’. Tone is lost via text. I will almost always tip someone unless they do not want any kind of tips. I like doing whatever I can to help out, but the phrasing sets off my anxiety even if the phrasing has good intentions.

It’s not just with how phrasing is with in-game tipping, I get anxious whenever I hear a statement like ‘you don’t have to [insert blank], but I would appreciate if you do’. I don’t want to disappoint or upset this person if they actually wanted me to. I had a lot of experiences the said-person told me it would okay when it truly wasn’t and I suffered consequences I didn’t think I was supposed to face.

It’s moreover my problem because I genuinely can’t read a lot of tone via text and the emoticons/emojis sometimes have me guessing


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## drchoo (May 14, 2020)

Personally I think there's always an expectation of it and has become a norm, the same way that if someone invites you over for dinner, you should bring something such as a bottle of wine. Regardless of that, I'll always tip every time I visit someone as they took the time to extend an invite and welcome me to their island.

In this day and age, there are people who throw basic/common courtesy out the window and if you don't make something known, they will not follow it. Guests should know not to shake trees, trample flowers or take things off the ground but we're at a point where you have to remind people of it, with an over-correction to where they have to include mentioning about tipping. It's similar to where you should take your shoes off when entering someone's home IRL and some just either ignore or don't know.


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## EquinoxIsland (May 14, 2020)

Personally, when someone opens up to do something nice it doesn't put me out at all to show a little appreciation for them giving something free (like cityscape walls, hard to come by DIYs, high turnip prices, etc.) that greatly benefits me. I guess I just don't exactly see the problem, because I've seen a lot of giveaways for highly sought after items that would normally be expensive / difficult to come by, and a small tip feels harmless in comparison. Regardless, if they say you don't have to tip, there's nothing physically stopping you from not tipping.


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## Celes (May 14, 2020)

I think people say tips are appreciated but not required because literally, they'd appreciate tips if people are have the ability to do so. 99% of people who say this are genuinely fine with people who don't tip. They're not responsible for people's personal issues with that statement. If you feel "pressured" by it, than it likely means that you feel some sentiment of guilt if you wouldn't tip, which is normal. They're willingly helping people out by using up their own personal time that could easily be used on something else, so it makes sense lol. If you don't wanna tip that's perfectly fine, but please don't blame the other party. 

In regards to similarities to real life tipping culture (specifically the US), it's not really the same. You're expected to pay tips because waiters/waitresses literally get less than minimum wage, so they need tips to survive. That's why is considered extremely rude not to tip in the US. It's honestly a really stupid system. Tipping in AC is like how tipping should be and what it is in other countries. I think US tipping standards warped that perception that tipping is mainly optional.


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## Zura (May 14, 2020)

I pressure myself into tipping and not the other way around. Optional doesn't give you a free pass to be a scum bag


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## Amissapanda (May 14, 2020)

I always tip, but it's not because I feel pressured to. I like to give back to someone who is offering a service/island visit/etc for free. I know from experience that you have to take a considerable amount of time to open for things like giving DIYs (I've done it for 3 hours straight before), having to send that code privately to every person that wants to visit and patiently wait for them to arrive, and rinse and repeat with however many people are visiting. You sit through a lot of menus and handle PM conversations here and in-game ones with many people. It takes effort. And I like to give back, even if it's not required. 

Likewise, I'm one of those people that say "tips are appreciated, but not required" when I offer the same sort of services and visits. There have been many people that don't tip, but I never look upon them poorly or gripe at them or any sort of passive-aggressive behavior. Because it's optional. It's not required. If people want to leave a tip, that's very kind and generous of them, but there's nothing wrong with not leaving one when it's not required. If someone expected tips from everyone, they would simply charge a fee.


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## Biancasbotique (May 14, 2020)

I charge a fee because i love bells and i love shopping!

and i always tip unless they say no in game


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## Shyria (May 14, 2020)

Sorry I haven't read the full 9 pages,so what I'm going to say might have been said already, in which case I apologize!

I often tip too just because I do appreciate people taking the time. BUT I do quite often struggle with what to tip. I'm not rolling on bells and it feels silly to tip like 1k... I fear DIY or furniture might lose its value if the other person already has it... But gold or star fragments for a visit to buy from Leif, for example, seems a bit too much as well...
So in that sense I do understand the struggle because sometimes it does have me overthinking the whole thing haha.

Also I find the way people ask for tips sometimes is funny. True, 90% of the times it's things I've used as well like the "tips appreciated but not required!" which I find very transparent and fair. But lately I've seen some "when you enter, the tipping area is right here, tips are highly appreciated since I do this and that and it takes me time, so tipping would really make sense, but I don't charge entry, but please tip"


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## Darcy94x (May 14, 2020)

I always tip no matter where I go, I’m not tipping for the item I’m tipping for the persons time. Ultimately they are using their time to help me out


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## Hsn97 (May 14, 2020)

I also don’t like the whole “tips appreciated”, especially when it’s then followed by “NMTs, Star Frags, Gold ore or wishlist items only please!”

Maybe it’s just because being British you don’t ask for tips or expect them. And if you do you don’t get them. If people want to tip you they’ll tip. And if you don’t want to let people over without them tipping, have an entrance fee.

I do usually tip but I would be happier if I didn’t feel like I was being pressured into doing it.


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

Hsn97 said:


> I also don’t like the whole “tips appreciated”, especially when it’s then followed by “NMTs, Star Frags, Gold ore or wishlist items only please!”
> 
> Maybe it’s just because being British you don’t ask for tips or expect them. And if you do you don’t get them. If people want to tip you they’ll tip. And if you don’t want to let people over without them tipping, have an entrance fee.
> 
> I do usually tip but I would be happier if I didn’t feel like I was being pressured into doing it.


Agree 100%

And it's funny that you mentioned being British, because I'm from a totally different country (Brazil), with a very different culture and social construction, and the concept of tipping is exactly the same here.


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## Garrett (May 14, 2020)

No, not all. If hosts say they're looking for a particular item then I can see if I have it, otherwise I either don't visit or I don't tip. 

Before anyone jumps on me, I don't charge for island visits and I've given away excess hybrids and duplicate DIYs so I do like to give back.


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## niko2 (May 14, 2020)

I don't like tipping, maybe that's because I'm from a "non-tipping country"... Of course everybody _appreciates_ tips, so I don't understand the need to write it down unless you _want_ tips. Anyway, I like dropping DIYs, fossils or some other items when visiting people, and I always leave a drawing in their bulletin board. It feels better than just dropping some bells. I never tip bells unless when selling turnips.


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## starlightsong (May 14, 2020)

I don’t really feel this way tbh but I do get what you mean about how there’s no real need to mention tips if you’re not asking for a fee—I think people seem to get the words tip and fee mixed up, because a tip is by definition an optional bit of payment for one’s services that would be appreciated but never required. So they’re really saying is that they don’t require a fee. But I always tip people regardless so I guess it doesn’t matter too much to me haha.

Edit: Would like to add though, that I honestly think asking for a small fee to let people into your island is perfectly fair. There’s always a certain level of risk involved with letting strangers in, and it can be time-consuming especially if you’re letting a lot of people in and _especially_ if you have high turnip prices. And after all, not even going to a random mystery island is free in this game.


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## stiney (May 14, 2020)

Ghost Mayor Jayden said:


> Personally, I feel like I have a personal responsibility to tip people especially when they say ‘tips are appreciated but not required’. Tone is lost via text. I will almost always tip someone unless they do not want any kind of tips. I like doing whatever I can to help out, but the phrasing sets off my anxiety even if the phrasing has good intentions.
> 
> It’s not just with how phrasing is with in-game tipping, I get anxious whenever I hear a statement like ‘you don’t have to [insert blank], but I would appreciate if you do’. I don’t want to disappoint or upset this person if they actually wanted me to. I had a lot of experiences the said-person told me it would okay when it truly wasn’t and I suffered consequences I didn’t think I was supposed to face.
> 
> It’s moreover my problem because I genuinely can’t read a lot of tone via text and the emoticons/emojis sometimes have me guessing


Hmm I think there’s a slight semantic difference in how I meant “tips appreciated” and you read it, as I meant it as “if you do it anyway I will be appreciative/grateful” and you were hearing as “I’d appreciate it if you would...” which is actually just a way of saying “please.” Reading it as “please do so” would absolutely put pressure in the post, but it’s also definitely not how I meant it.


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## daisyy (May 14, 2020)

i definitely feel pressured to tip, especially if there's a gate-type situation or if the host is sitting, watching over the guests - i want to tip in that case because they're watching me and may judge me (lol) and also because most of the time they're monitoring the situation to make the situation smooth for all parties. if the host just open the island and is running around doing their own thing, i feel less obligated.


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## Truckwood (May 14, 2020)

astoria said:


> If you’re telling someone to leave you a tip that’s making me feel pressured to leave one. You’re telling someone oh tips are appreciated but not necessary then why mention it? Whenever I see that it just makes me feel like I _*have* _to give them a tip because they’re expecting it and not because I want to do it on my own. I know when people ask for fruit or small stuff like that I get it as a little gift, but if they’re asking for certain expensive things as tips it sounds greedy. You shouldn’t have to charge players to visit your island or ask for tips. If a person is friendly and they want to give a tip they will.


You are making millions of bells by them opening up their island to you and spending their time being helpful to you by doing so and you don't want to throw them 100k of your 2m? Something presumably only possible because they opened up their island to you, otherwise you wouldn't be there... Who is greedy again?

Listen, some people are asking for CRAZY stuff, like 10nmt. But if someone says "tips appreciated" that means "I am not going to tell you what to pay or have an entry fee, but kindly tip please". Do your waiters and waitresses at restaurants say "please tip me!" at a restaurant?


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## SourDeez (May 14, 2020)

Is there a more polite way to ask for something in return? These people didn’t have to help others for free. I always write tips are greatly appreciated because they are.. Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others? No that’s not fair, shouldn’t be upset by this.


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## astoria (May 14, 2020)

Truckwood said:


> You are making millions of bells by them opening up their island to you and spending their time being helpful to you by doing so and you don't want to throw them 100k of your 2m? Something presumably only possible because they opened up their island to you, otherwise you wouldn't be there... Who is greedy again?
> 
> Listen, some people are asking for CRAZY stuff, like 10nmt. But if someone says "tips appreciated" that means "I am not going to tell you what to pay or have an entry fee, but kindly tip please". Do your waiters and waitresses at restaurants say "please tip me!" at a restaurant?


who was talking about turnips here? My post wasn’t about people opening their islands to sell turnips. I’m talking about people opening up their islands for people to visit just to look around asking for tips. Also by the tone of your post you’re basically saying it’s rude not to tip if you sell turnips when tips are supposed to be OPTIONAL. And you shouldn’t be trying to guilt someone saying “oh wow they were kind enough to open their island and let you sell turnips and you wouldn’t give them money?!”


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## Truckwood (May 14, 2020)

astoria said:


> who was talking about turnips here? My post wasn’t about people opening their islands to sell turnips. I’m talking about people opening up their islands for people to visit just to look around asking for tips. Also by the tone of your post you’re basically saying it’s rude not to tip if you sell turnips when tips are supposed to be OPTIONAL. And you shouldn’t be trying to guilt someone saying oh wow they were kind enough to open their island and let you sell turnips and you wouldn’t give them money?


You weren't talking about turnips? Okay I guess I will buy that... If people just want to play with you I don't see why they would say tip appreciated, they are obviously providing something to you that you can't provide to yourself, yes?

The alternative is players never tipping and then guess what happens? You get entry fees. When the game first came out entry fees weren't a thing, but then players use others islands to make millions of bells and leave nothing or a few of your native fruits and then what happens? Entry fees become a thing.


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## Llunavale (May 14, 2020)

Raz said:


> And it's funny that you mentioned being British, because I'm from a totally different country (Brazil), with a very different culture and social construction, and the concept of tipping is exactly the same here.


The US has to be the only place I've ever visited where tipping is so in-your-face to be honest, but I do kind of feel like that's where a lot of the "appreciated but not required" talk comes from. This forum does seem to have a largely American audience, and everyone knows what tipping culture is like in the states.

In one of your previous posts you put that a tip is, by definition, optional, and whilst that's true, there's no denying American culture has twisted it to be the most mandatory optional thing you have to do haha - I feel like people who say it's "appreciated but not required" really are coming from a place of good will, especially if they're American, because as countless people have said, there is a pressure to leave tips _anyway_ depending on where you're from in the world, so to say they're not required could easily be a sigh of relief to some people.

Not that I'm disagreeing with you or anything - I'm also not from the US so I agree whole-heartedly that it's a weird phrase to come across when tipping is, inherently, completely optional anyway (i.e. it goes without saying they're "appreciated but not required") - but I guess it's important to consider it from other perspectives too.


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## SheepMareep (May 14, 2020)

I usually say "tips are not required but appreciated" because I dont need anything but know that a lot of people feel better when they do leave something.
But that's only when I am letting people in for turnips or something where people are constantly going in/out of my town. A lot of people require a tip (basically an entry fee at that point.) In order for you to sell so I like to clarify that nope, Im not one of them do what u want idc. When someone gets a lot of bells from the stock market I've noticed a lot of ppl want to thank the person who helped them.

If its something like celeste is there or saharah is there or they wanna see my island like small stuff I wont even mention the idea of tips bc it's weird to want them just so someone can go get a diy disnixsnjsixs.


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

Llunavale said:


> The US has to be the only place I've ever visited where tipping is so in-your-face to be honest, but I do kind of feel like that's where a lot of the "appreciated but not required" talk comes from. This forum does seem to have a largely American audience, and everyone knows what tipping culture is like in the states.
> 
> In one of your previous posts you put that a tip is, by definition, optional, and whilst that's true, there's no denying American culture has twisted it to be the most mandatory optional thing you have to do haha - I feel like people who say it's "appreciated but not required" really are coming from a place of good will, especially if they're American, because as countless people have said, there is a pressure to leave tips _anyway_ depending on where you're from in the world, so to say they're not required could easily be a sigh of relief to some people.
> 
> Not that I'm disagreeing with you or anything - I'm also not from the US so I agree whole-heartedly that it's a weird phrase to come across when tipping is, inherently, completely optional anyway (i.e. it goes without saying they're "appreciated but not required") - but I guess it's important to consider it from other perspectives too.


I totally understand what you're saying. And as far as being important to consider other perspectives, I agree. But It would also be cool if these people could do the same, and we saw a lot of people ridiculing the OP because they apparently can't consider their perspective.

I always try to be as clear as possible when I say these things because it's very easy for people to take offense at others before trying to understand why they're saying what they're saying. And, for a community that prides itself for being wholesome and welcoming, shaming the OP for posting and even questioning someone for creating a topic for discussion is something that, in my eyes, a sign that there's much more things going wrong out there than people want to admit.


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## jiojiop (May 14, 2020)

OP definitely has a point. There's a lot of people in this thread who have clearly not played Bioshock   

I think a lot of people are missing the nuance of language and just taking words literally. If I wanted tips from people but felt insecure about demanding entry fees, I'd definitely say "tips aren't necessary but they are appreciated " to passive-aggressively suggest to people that they ought to. Just the same, if you entered someone's house and they said "you don't need to remove your shoes, but it'd be appreciated", you'd feel socially pressured to remove your shoes, as long as you're not an oblivious person who doesn't care at all what others think of them.


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## Mairen (May 14, 2020)

Has anyone let visitors in without actually saying "tips appreciated"? Did you find that a bunch of people were coming and going without leaving a tip in that case? I'd like to think that in general, if people are going to tip anyways, then they are going to do so without having to be reminded. "Tips appreciated" should be an assumed thing. The moment someone is subtly throwing the words " tips appreciated" out there, then most of us are going to feel obligated to, just to appear polite, rather than having it be something that we decided to do all on our own.


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## grah (May 14, 2020)

I held a Celeste event a while ago with free entry, free crafting service and free DIY pool. I had 60+ people over and was expecting as much! So I put tips appreciated and also shared my wishlist. I had so many generous people come over and let me catalog items and tipped variously! There were also people who came over empty handed and tipped nothing, which was completelyyy fine! I made it free for a reason As a community sharing things you need in game but not necessarily asking for them is totally fine when you're offering to have people over to help them get what they need also. 
Community is the key word in this. It's the best thing


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## Strawberryllama (May 14, 2020)

I guess I feel pressured to tip, but it's not the fault of whoever's hosting. I know hosting can be a hassle and I just want to give them something for giving me their time. I don't really mind the "tips appreciated but not required" or people who just charge a flat out fee, as long as it's not ridiculous. I'm from the US though and I guess tipping is different here so that might have something to do with it.


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## Hazysummerskies (May 14, 2020)

I generally prefer to tip at least something anyway, even if it isn't much, out of politeness for the host's time. I would rather at least give them 10k bells (my most frequent tip) or some sort of gift to show them my appreciation.


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## Pyoopi (May 14, 2020)

There's no need to feel pressured to leave a tip. At the end of the day if you decide not to, someone else will. The host will feel happy with whatever x amount of tips left by the other visitors.

They aren't gonna go on a warpath, "how dare that person did not tip me. I'm gonna curse them with a million Rodneys!"


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## meggtheegg (May 14, 2020)

i will say i understand the difference in tipping paid workers between cultures and different countries, i was raised in both the US and Germany so i've seen the difference first hand. 
and although i understand and respect where the opposite perspective is coming from, comparing this to the american concept of unspoken mandatory tipping, i don't really personally think it's the same thing at all. 

people who open their gates for you to sell turnips or get a diy from a villager etc aren't on the clock being paid for their service to you. again, not saying its right or wrong to not leave tips, i dont intend to rehash that, I think the semantics of when people leave this in their posts have been explained really well here multiple times,  but just saying im kind of disagreeing with continuously citing this irl tipping cultural difference as the reason ppl shouldnt say "tips appreciated" when it comes to inviting large amounts of ppl into the island. it's really not the same thing as a waiter coming to your table and saying "i would appreciate tips but its not required"


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

SourDeez said:


> Is there a more polite way to ask for something in return? These people didn’t have to help others for free. I always write tips are greatly appreciated because they are.. Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others? No that’s not fair, shouldn’t be upset by this.


Let me explain you one thing.

If you want to help others by doing them a favor, you're going to ask people something in return. Do you know why? Because when you do something for someone asking for something in return, that's not called a favor, it's called a service. And services have fees. Fees aren't tips.


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## thatveryawkwardmayor (May 14, 2020)

Zura said:


> I pressure myself into tipping and not the other way around. Optional doesn't give you a free pass to be a scum bag


thats just reinforcing the notion that optional tips aren't really optional. I usually tip a small amount but if I choose not to i shouldn't have to feel bad about it.


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## SourDeez (May 14, 2020)

Raz said:


> Let me explain you one thing.
> 
> If you want to help others by doing them a favor, you're going to ask people something in return. Do you know why? Because when you do something for someone asking for something in return, that's not called a favor, it's called a service. And services have fees. Fees aren't tips.


No no... trying to help others by providing something they don’t have... i have given plenty of things away for free. Don’t shame people for politely asking for something in return for their time and services when it’s clearly not demanded.


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## Dude_Skillz (May 14, 2020)

What makes me feel the pressure is when you're selling something and somebody says: "I can offer 20-50 NMT for him/her" (just an example) I want the NMT, but it might be impolite if I take every last one.


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## Hsn97 (May 14, 2020)

SourDeez said:


> Is there a more polite way to ask for something in return? These people didn’t have to help others for free. I always write tips are greatly appreciated because they are.. Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others? No that’s not fair, shouldn’t be upset by this.


If you’re asking for something in return, it’s a fee or at best a trade, not a tip. You don’t ask for tips.


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## Melchoir (May 14, 2020)

A tip is a tip rather than a fee! It should be optional! However I do think if someone is providing a service then personally I like to give them something in return. Sometimes its helpful to ask if they have a wishlist or any items that could help them out, whether it is fruit, furniture, clothes or DIY materials. Even if you don't have something right then and there, you could always offer to order something for them from your catalogue that they are looking for and drop it off the next day!


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## SourDeez (May 14, 2020)

Hsn97 said:


> If you’re asking for something in return, it’s a fee or at best a trade, not a tip. You don’t ask for tips.


I write tips are greatly appreciated. When I’m offering Free DIYs, Free villagers etc... what’s your problem?


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## jiojiop (May 14, 2020)

Truckwood said:


> You are making millions of bells by them opening up their island to you and spending their time being helpful to you by doing so and you don't want to throw them 100k of your 2m? Something presumably only possible because they opened up their island to you, otherwise you wouldn't be there... Who is greedy again?
> 
> Listen, some people are asking for CRAZY stuff, like 10nmt. But if someone says "tips appreciated" that means "I am not going to tell you what to pay or have an entry fee, but kindly tip please". Do your waiters and waitresses at restaurants say "please tip me!" at a restaurant?



I mean your argument is sound, but what you're effectively saying is "tipping is an obligation and you're a rude jerk if you don't. It's expected."

And that's exactly what OP said the line comes off as: people expecting a tip and making others feel pressured to do so.

So you both agree - the line indicates the view that tipping is kinda mandatory, you just disagree on whether that's a good or bad thing.



SourDeez said:


> Is there a more polite way to ask for something in return? These people didn’t have to help others for free. I always write tips are greatly appreciated because they are.. Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others? No that’s not fair, shouldn’t be upset by this.



No, it is the polite way to ask for something in return. But that's just it: it's asking for something in return. That's the point: it's subtly asking for tips. It's not actually saying no tips.

The way you speak sounds like you feel entitled to tips. Which is fine, because I can understand wanting something for your time and effort. But this is exactly what the OP was pointing out: that the line does kind of come off as pressuring for tips. As long as you know that's what you're doing, and it sounds like you do, then there's no argument.


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## SourDeez (May 14, 2020)

jiojiop said:


> I mean your argument is sound, but what you're effectively saying is "tipping is an obligation and you're a rude jerk if you don't. It's expected."
> 
> And that's exactly what OP said the line comes off as: people expecting a tip and making others feel pressured to do so.
> 
> ...


I understand your point and I wouldn’t even mention it in my post if I wouldn’t accept tips but just starting out,, going around tipping and trying to give back. I will accept tips so that is the nicest way I can say it. Tips greatly appreciated. No one is forcing anything but kindly reinsuring if tipped it’s very helpful.


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## Spends (May 14, 2020)

I don't see any issue with saying it. 

I try to tip where I can anyway, even if it's just to water someone's flowers. 

Especially if someone has opened their doors so I can get diys from crafting islanders, giveaways or letting me sell turnips.


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

SourDeez said:


> No no... trying to help others by providing something they don’t have... i have given plenty of things away for free. Don’t shame people for politely asking for something in return for their time and services when it’s clearly not demanded.


You said this:

"Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others?"

When you're doing something for someone without asking anything in return, that's called doing a favor. 

When you're doing something for someone asking them for something in return, that's called offering a service or selling a product. 

I can't be more clear than that. 

You can ask people for something in return, just don't call it as a favor, because that's not true. As soon as you ask for something in return, it stops being a favor/charity act/act of goodwill, and becomes a remunerated service.


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## SourDeez (May 14, 2020)

Raz said:


> You said this:
> 
> "Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others?"
> 
> ...


I never once said the word favour! I said helping others! I gave away all my villagers for free what was the fee?!?

	Post automatically merged: May 14, 2020



SourDeez said:


> I never once said the word favour! I said helping others! I gave away all my villagers for free what was the fee?!?


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

SourDeez said:


> I never once said the word favour! I said helping others! I gave away all my villagers for free what was the fee?!?


I know you didn't said favor, I said. Why? Because apparently, people don't know the difference between helping others and offering a service.

If you think you're helping them when you're actually offering a service, then it's a different thing.

When you gave villagers for free, you were doing these people a favor. If they tipped without you mentioning or asking "tips are greatly appreciated", it's a favor.

Everybody knows tips are appreciated. You don't need to state that. But when you do, well, that's exactly the OP's point.

When you say you're helping others but you're expecting to get something in return, you're actually offering a service (I give you this, you give me that) or doing a trade. In this case, they're also helping you, which is good, but neither side is "tipping" the other, because giving tips is an spontaneous act of gratitude, which is very different than trade partners swapping goods or a contractor paying for a service.

Again, I'm not saying you can't ask for something in return when you're offering something. It's just that when you do this, whatever you gain in return is not a tip.


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## lackless (May 14, 2020)

I never mention/ask for tips when I open the island and find that the majority of people tip anyway or are very verbally thankful which is honestly more than enough for me! I think tipping culture is so ingrained in many people (to the point where I had to stop my friend from tipping me after I gave her a villager as a gift) that there’s really no need to point it out. 

Unless you actually don’t _want _tips I don’t quite understand what the logic is in mentioning them when opening the island? I’ve noticed a lot of people mention the “tips appreciated, not required” thing and I guess it’s just caught on. For me, I’d usually tip anyway (10%+ for turnips, bells or NMT or items otherwise) but I definitely feel the OP’s POV. There’s a thought process (for me, anyway) when you see “tips appreciated” where you know the host has thought about it enough to type it out, so you think you should probably bring something so that they won’t feel like you were a waste of time.


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## moonbox (May 14, 2020)

I can see it being like "hey if you wanted to tip don't feel like you can't because I didn't explicitly say so"

like have you ever tried to give someone something and they're like "uh actually I really don't need that"

	Post automatically merged: May 14, 2020

also unless you're zoom calling your trades, the lack of irl communication is prone to awkwardness and misunderstandings. we project our own experiences onto text communications. I think that's why some hosts try to remedy this awkwardness by saying "feel free to tip but it's not necessary." if a host gets mad at you for not tipping, then clearly it was considered an entry fee for them. the burden is on the host to communicate this.


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## Mairen (May 14, 2020)

lackless said:


> I never mention/ask for tips when I open the island and find that the majority of people tip anyway or are very verbally thankful which is honestly more than enough for me! I think tipping culture is so ingrained in many people (to the point where I had to stop my friend from tipping me after I gave her a villager as a gift) that there’s really no need to point it out.
> 
> Unless you actually don’t _want _tips I don’t quite understand what the logic is in mentioning them when opening the island? I’ve noticed a lot of people mention the “tips appreciated, not required” thing and I guess it’s just caught on. For me, I’d usually tip anyway (10%+ for turnips, bells or NMT or items otherwise) but I definitely feel the OP’s POV. There’s a thought process (for me, anyway) when you see “tips appreciated” where you know the host has thought about it enough to type it out, so you think you should probably bring something so that they won’t feel like you were a waste of time.



This. I challenge the people here to try offering the same services, but without hinting to their visitors "tips appreciated". Just try it and see. I'll bet pretty much everyone is still going to leave a tip. Because the animal crossing community is typically generous and kind (or it used to be?).

I totally understand that you guys aren't actually saying "tips appreciated" while holding your hands out expectantly, but that's what that kind of thing feels like to your visitors when you say that. If you really want to offer your services for free, give it a try without mentioning tips at all. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find people are going to leave them anyways.


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## Zura (May 14, 2020)

thatveryawkwardmayor said:


> thats just reinforcing the notion that optional tips aren't really optional. I usually tip a small amount but if I choose not to i shouldn't have to feel bad about it.


Idk I think you should feel bad. Not tipping is like saying you don't appreciate the host's time and kindness.


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## thatveryawkwardmayor (May 14, 2020)

Zura said:


> Idk I think you should feel bad. Not tipping is like saying you don't appreciate the host's time and kindness.


I mean if thats your opinion then sure, but I disagree. a tip is optional in nature and depending on your cultural context you may or may not feel obligated to tip. If you were the host and had a "tips are optional" disclaimer and I don't tip you, and then you turn around and get mad for me not tipping then thats your problem lmaoo just have an entry fee.


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## Jas (May 14, 2020)

oh no! i'm definitely a "tips appreciated" kind of host but i really do not care whether people tip or not! i've been saying that just to emphasize there is no entry fee but maybe i'll just take it out in the future if it reads this way! but as a visitor, i haven't felt pressured to leave any tips at all. i will almost always tip something anyways, as opposed to entry fees, where i just tend not to visit LOL


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## Zura (May 14, 2020)

thatveryawkwardmayor said:


> I mean if thats your opinion then sure, but I disagree. a tip is optional in nature and depending on your cultural context you may or may not feel obligated to tip. If you were the host and had a "tips are optional" disclaimer and I don't tip you, and then you turn around and get mad for me not tipping then thats your problem lmaoo just have an entry fee.


I agree it's more of an opinion. People who get mad at you for not tipping when saying it's optional are in the wrong. However, tipping someone should be IMO always required unless the service was terrible. I get your reasoning that it becomes more of an entrance fee but I honestly couldn't imagine not giving a kind person a reward for helping me out.


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## Balverine (May 14, 2020)

It doesn't really bother me, I generally tip, especially if the person was really nice or I took longer than expected for whatever reason

I'm only bothered by it when the demands pricey tips and such, like not as an entry fee, but like "you need to tip me an expensive item or a lot of NMT", but I haven't really dealt with that in TBT


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## astoria (May 14, 2020)

Zura said:


> I pressure myself into tipping and not the other way around. Optional doesn't give you a free pass to be a scum bag





Zura said:


> Idk I think you should feel bad. Not tipping is like saying you don't appreciate the host's time and kindness.


It’s extreme to call someone a scumbag just because they didn’t tip when tipping is supposed to be optional. If a tip is mandatory, it’s not a tip.


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## Zura (May 14, 2020)

astoria said:


> It’s extreme to call someone a scumbag just because they didn’t tip when tipping is supposed to be optional. If a tip is mandatory, it’s not a tip.


The host viewing it as scumbag-ish doesn't make it "mandatory". IMO I think it's extremely mean not to tip and I'm rarely the host haha.


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## Pretty Dead Boy (May 14, 2020)

stiney said:


> Hmm I think there’s a slight semantic difference in how I meant “tips appreciated” and you read it, as I meant it as “if you do it anyway I will be appreciative/grateful” and you were hearing as “I’d appreciate it if you would...” which is actually just a way of saying “please.” Reading it as “please do so” would absolutely put pressure in the post, but it’s also definitely not how I meant it.




I appreciate the clarification on your end. I at least know what you really mean.

I can read into things more than it’s necessary. Or I get confused with the true intention when it isn’t super straightforward/explained. 

Lemme say I don’t believe it’s reflection of bad character to anyone who say ‘tips appreciated/but not required’. After reading what a lot of people meant on their part to post, I don’t feel as anxious (it’s still there but it’s moreover a ‘what-if’ kind of whispering thought). 

By the end of it, I just want to be respectful and good regardless how I feel


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## Mo Notony (May 14, 2020)

This is why I only go to friends I know islands. Then I dump some oranges on them. Just as a courtesy. Of course they never ask for it, but yeah, I do it because it's common courtesy because they're my friends. I def do NOT expect anything but they always ask if they can bring anything.


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## Hesper (May 14, 2020)

Anyway, I'm gonna keep saying it because it's the most efficient way I can see to express gratitude without hunting people down and possibly making them feel weird for the attention. Especially when I can't see who left what all the time. I was raised to say "thank you" for gifts, and tips are definitely that, and I'd feel bad if I didn't say it at all. 

I prefer giving things away for free because *that* makes me less anxious, but I want people to know it's received with joy if they do choose to tip me. If that's "pressuring people", just call me an after-school special.


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## Celes (May 14, 2020)

jiojiop said:


> OP definitely has a point. There's a lot of people in this thread who have clearly not played Bioshock
> 
> I think a lot of people are missing the nuance of language and just taking words literally. If I wanted tips from people but felt insecure about demanding entry fees, I'd definitely say "tips aren't necessary but they are appreciated " to passive-aggressively suggest to people that they ought to. Just the same, if you entered someone's house and they said "you don't need to remove your shoes, but it'd be appreciated", you'd feel socially pressured to remove your shoes, as long as you're not an oblivious person who doesn't care at all what others think of them.


I really do see your point, but I feel that it's wrong to blame the host for a statement that "seems" passive-aggressive. It's not the host's duty to deal with other people's interpretation of that statement. Of course, adding that statement would add more pressure than not doing so, but  I really don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's still ultimately up to the visitor whether they make the decision to tip or not. I don't think people should just stop using that phrase because other people feel that it's coercive when the meaning behind the phrase itself doesn't suggest that. 

I think it's a bit of a different situation than the social pressure of removing your shoes. Removing shoes takes barely any sacrifice on your part, which is why it seems rude not to do so. Tipping in AC involves sacrificing materials/currency that could have been used on something else. In regards to real world circumstances, most people understand if you're not willing to part with hard earned money (excluding US tipping standards).


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## morthael (May 14, 2020)

i’ve done both where i’ve typed out “tips appreciated but not required” and sometimes omitted it, and the frequency of the tips/no tips are pretty much the same. i honestly don’t see anything wrong with putting a disclaimer because i’ve used it as a means of communicating that i am thankful when people leave tips and sometimes, there are visitors who leave a tip without saying a word and then they leave which gives me no chance to thank them in game. i don’t think it’s fair to point fingers at a host accusing them of passive-aggressively pressuring people to leave tips when you don’t really know the intention behind their “tips appreciated but not required” when that might just be your own interpretation and not their intention.


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## Hesper (May 14, 2020)

Celes said:


> I really do see your point, but I feel that it's wrong to blame the host for a statement that "seems" passive-aggressive. It's not the host's duty to deal with other people's interpretation of that statement. Of course, adding that statement would add more pressure than not doing so, but  I really don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's still ultimately up to the visitor whether they make the decision to tip or not. I don't think people should just stop using that phrase because other people feel that it's coercive when the meaning behind the phrase itself doesn't suggest that.
> 
> I think it's a bit of a different situation than the social pressure of removing your shoes. Removing shoes takes barely any sacrifice on your part, which is why it seems rude not to do so. Tipping in AC involves sacrificing materials/currency that could have been used on something else. In regards to real world circumstances, most people understand if you're not willing to part with hard earned money (excluding US tipping standards).





morthael said:


> i’ve done both where i’ve typed out “tips appreciated but not required” and sometimes omitted it, and the frequency of the tips/no tips are pretty much the same. i honestly don’t see anything wrong with putting a disclaimer because i’ve used it as a means of communicating that i am thankful when people leave tips and sometimes, there are visitors who leave a tip without saying a word and then they leave which gives me no chance to thank them in game. i don’t think it’s fair to point fingers at a host accusing them of passive-aggressively pressuring people to leave tips when you don’t really know the intention behind their “tips appreciated but not required” when that might just be your own interpretation and not their intention.




Yes. It's not actually the host's problem for what people project into a very simple sentence. The phrase is clear enough, and we do all know what they say about assumptions.


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## astoria (May 14, 2020)

morthael said:


> i’ve done both where i’ve typed out “tips appreciated but not required” and sometimes omitted it, and the frequency of the tips/no tips are pretty much the same. i honestly don’t see anything wrong with putting a disclaimer because i’ve used it as a means of communicating that i am thankful when people leave tips and sometimes, there are visitors who leave a tip without saying a word and then they leave which gives me no chance to thank them in game. i don’t think it’s fair to point fingers at a host accusing them of passive-aggressively pressuring people to leave tips when you don’t really know the intention behind their “tips appreciated but not required” when that might just be your own interpretation and not their intention.


I was never blaming the host. I just felt that hearing the phrase all the time makes me interpret it in a different way. I’m sure they aren’t being passive aggressive but tip culture and many people saying in the thread “it’s rude not to tip” is confirming my feelings of feeling guilt/pressured to tip.


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## morthael (May 14, 2020)

astoria said:


> I was never blaming the host. I just felt that hearing the phrase all the time makes me interpret it in a different way. I’m sure they aren’t being passive aggressive but tip culture and many people saying in the thread “it’s rude not to tip” is confirming my feelings of feeling guilt/pressured to tip.


sorry i wasn’t being clear op, but i didn’t mean to direct it at you!! i definitely sympathize with your point of view! this response was for the last recent couple of posts that i saw implying it was a passive aggressive way to pressure people into giving tips! also!! it is definitely not rude to not tip!! tips are optional especially within this game and i don’t think it’s fair to compare it to real world instances of tips when in the united states, tips are used by businesses to not pay waiters and staff a livable wage, but that’s not a discussion for this forum.


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## biksoka (May 14, 2020)

I normally say it as a blanket thank you since I'm afk (-ahem technically suppose to be working ahem-) most of the time when I have gates open.

Although the thread does bring up a pretty good point about whether or not just throwing it in makes ppl more likely to tip because they feel obligated to.
... hm


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## TangledBowties (May 14, 2020)

I dont find an issue with people asking for tips or saying that they're appreciated. As long as they're not asking for anything outlandish. I personally always like to tip something because that person took the time out if their day to let you come to their island and provide a service for you that they didn't have to do. I dont see it as a big deal to leave a tip. Having multiple people over or having multiple groups come is very time consuming! So I always like to give something as a little thank you.


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## jiojiop (May 14, 2020)

Celes said:


> I really do see your point, but I feel that it's wrong to blame the host for a statement that "seems" passive-aggressive. It's not the host's duty to deal with other people's interpretation of that statement. Of course, adding that statement would add more pressure than not doing so, but  I really don't think there's anything wrong with that.


I'm not arguing whether it's wrong or not - I said in another reply I can understand expecting compensation for one's time. I'm just saying it definitely adds pressure, and it seems there we are in agreement.



Celes said:


> I think it's a bit of a different situation than the social pressure of removing your shoes. Removing shoes takes barely any sacrifice on your part, which is why it seems rude not to do so. Tipping in AC involves sacrificing materials/currency that could have been used on something else. In regards to real world circumstances, most people understand if you're not willing to part with hard earned money (excluding US tipping standards).



You're making a distinction without a difference. Sure, since removing shoes is less of a sacrifice than dropping 99k bells, more people would do it. But how _many_ people would feel pressured is not the point. The point is that we understand that phrase to be insinuating that you _ought_ to comply if you're a decent person. It definitely indicates the preference that you do what is "appreciated". That's the subtext of the phrase.

I think many people are not being honest with themselves about their motivations behind using the phrase. Imagine hosting and not a single person leaves you a tip. Would you truly be fine with that, or would you feel bitter? Many, I'm sure, if they're being honest with themselves, would feel bitter. That doesn't make you a bad person. But it means you're mentioning tips because you're trying to subtly remind people to give them because you want them and expect them.

And if you are one of the few who genuinely means it and who would honestly be fine if you got no tips? Then perhaps you should follow the advice @Mairen and @lackless gave, because you are earnestly misunderstanding the effect the phrase has on your audience.


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## stiney (May 14, 2020)

Ghost Mayor Jayden said:


> I appreciate the clarification on your end. I at least know what you really mean.
> 
> I can read into things more than it’s necessary. Or I get confused with the true intention when it isn’t super straightforward/explained.
> 
> ...


If I host another giveaway I’m definitely going to be clearer and leave less room for ambiguity.


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## miraxe (May 14, 2020)

They do it to differentiate themselves from people like me, who will be like, "Hey buddy, you dropped your bells." if you try to tip me.  

On the other hand, I always tip just as a courtesy, ESPECIALLY on more popular events (good turnip prices, Celeste, meteor showers), because it's a huge chunk of time where you can't really play the game the way you normally would. People are coming in and out of your island, you're locked out of a lot of things like ordering from the catalogue and terraforming, and you're pretty much stuck hosting for a couple of hours minimum. Unless you specifically say DON'T TIP, I'm tipping.


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## biibii (May 14, 2020)

no, I dont feel pressured to tip the nice people who offer me great services and hospitality, with a warm and friendly nature just because they have a "tips appreciated" sign. I feel obligated to tip for the other qualities I mentioned before. jeez -- feel obligated? dont ask for their services to avoid discomfort !


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## RooftopsRevolution (May 14, 2020)

If someone is opening their town for your benefit, it is polite to leave a tip. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about it lmao If it makes you uncomfortable then maybe it's just best not to visit towns of strangers? Idk to me it's just wild that entry fees or optional tips bother people 
As some people said in some cultures  like Japan tips can be considered rude but that's not entirely true. In Japan if you wish to tip it has to be in an envelope and thoughtfully given to them. It's rude to leave money on the table of a restaurant for example.


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## Cethosia (May 14, 2020)

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, saying that tips are appreciated can put pressure on people, on the other, I am a forgetful person who might forget to leave tips without reminder. I think just mentioning tips aren't needed should be enough. It can be a reminder, but it also wouldn't put pressure on people. And it would make those who aren't able to tip feel more at ease too.

I personally feel I am not worthy of tips for opening my island, but declining them also seems rude. I am grateful, but at the same time, I don't feel like I am doing anything worthy of a tip. I just want to help others. >.<


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## astoria (May 14, 2020)

RooftopsRevolution said:


> If someone is opening their town for your benefit, it is polite to leave a tip. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about it lmao If it makes you uncomfortable then maybe it's just best not to visit towns of strangers? Idk to me it's just wild that entry fees or optional tips bother people
> As some people said in some cultures  like Japan tips can be considered rude but that's not entirely true. In Japan if you wish to tip it has to be in an envelope and thoughtfully given to them. It's rude to leave money on the table of a restaurant for example.


This exact tone of your post is basically saying you’re a jerk if you don’t tip which is exactly my point. People aren’t all “up in arms about it” if multiple people are saying it’s rude to not give a tip then it’s an underlying thing that’s basically saying they want tips as mandatory. I shouldn’t have to tip every player that I visit if I just wanna see the design of their island or if I’m not there for a specific reason. if I want to leave a tip then I will but don’t guilt basically saying I’m a jerk if I don’t. Cause in the beginning people used to let others on their islands for free and didn’t care about entry fees or tips, but now since it’s beome the norm it’s all you see.
—-

Basically for the whole topic of the thread I stated that I feel pressure to tip and many people have confirmed it by saying it’s rude not to leave a tip or you should leave something in return, which is not a tip. A person shouldn’t be seen as not nice if they don’t give a tip, that just makes it known that everyone’s expecting a tip cause it’s the polite thing to do.


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## JKDOS (May 14, 2020)

When I host for free, I am not expecting anything in return. I'm just trying to be nice. If someone wants to tip, that's up to them. I won't think any less of those who don't tip, as it wasn't my intention to receive tips.


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## Millysaurusrexjr (May 14, 2020)

Yeah I see what you mean. 

I only say it because everyone else does lol. Although I add in "tips not expected, no pressure at all".
On the flip side, I love leaving tips but feel very guilty if I don't.


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

RooftopsRevolution said:


> *If someone is opening their town for your benefit, it is polite to leave a tip.* I don't understand why people are so up in arms about it lmao *If it makes you uncomfortable then maybe it's just best not to visit towns of strangers?* Idk to me it's just wild that entry fees or optional tips bother people
> As some people said in some cultures  like Japan tips can be considered rude but that's not entirely true. In Japan if you wish to tip it has to be in an envelope and thoughtfully given to them. It's rude to leave money on the table of a restaurant for example.


Ok, so let's see... By saying it's polite to leave a tip, you're also saying it's the opposite of you don't leave a tip, thus, pressuring people to consent to the norm some of you guys are trying to push (if you don't tip, you're going against the etiquette we expect you to follow).

Second part, and context matters a lot here: you're suggesting that if people are too uncomfortable to adhere to the etiquette you expect them to follow, then, they should abstain from playing with others, essentially gatekeeping them if they don't comply to the rules you expect them to follow.

This post is the prime example of why the OP is right when he points out the pressure this kind of behavior has on the community, and how it can be problematic for the community as a whole, no matter in which side of the argument you are.


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## lackless (May 14, 2020)

Millysaurusrexjr said:


> Yeah I see what you mean.
> 
> I only say it because everyone else does lol. Although I add in "tips not expected, no pressure at all".
> On the flip side, I love leaving tips but feel very guilty if I don't.



I feel like “tips not expected, no pressure at all” sends a much more relaxed vibe and gives off the message that most people who put “tips appreciated but not required” were probably trying to convey! “Appreciated but not required” to me kind of gives the feel that people would _really like tips _but won’t bar me from the island or anything for visiting. I’m definitely reading a bit into it though.

I also kind of wanted to clarify my previous post - in no way do I blame people who specify they would like tips for my feelings of tipping obligation. That’s on me and if I’m particularly low on bells I simply give less and apologize.


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## DrewAC (May 14, 2020)

I always tip 99k and NEVER sell my turnips at anyone requiring a fee. I don’t feel pressured at all to tip, but I do feel good about giving something back for someone being generous to the community instead of looking for a profit in every nook and cranny of the WiFi community as some do.


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## thatveryawkwardmayor (May 14, 2020)

Raz said:


> Ok, so let's see... By saying it's polite to leave a tip, you're also saying it's the opposite of you don't leave a tip, thus, pressuring people to consent to the norm some of you guys are trying to push (if you don't tip, you're going against the etiquette we expect you to follow).
> 
> Second part, and context matters a lot here: you're suggesting that if people are too uncomfortable to adhere to the etiquette you expect them to follow, then, they should abstain from playing with others, essentially gatekeeping them if they don't comply to the rules you expect them to follow.
> 
> This post is the prime example of why the OP is right when he points out the pressure this kind of behavior has on the community, and how it can be problematic for the community as a whole, no matter in which side of the argument you are.


I 100% agree with this! If you host and say tips aren't necessary then you  better  mean it otherwise just charge an entry fee (which theres nothing wrong with). Lets not pressure players to give more than what they can. Evidently, most people in this thread don't see tips as truly optional but rather something expected when trading. I honestly don't remember the whole tipping thing to be this big of a deal and expected in NL.


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## Raz (May 14, 2020)

thatveryawkwardmayor said:


> I 100% agree with this! If you host and say tips aren't necessary then you  better  mean it otherwise just charge an entry fee (which theres nothing wrong with). Lets not pressure players to give more than what they can. Evidently, most people in this thread don't see tips as truly optional but rather something expected when trading. I honestly don't remember the whole tipping thing to be this big of a deal and expected in NL.


Yeah, the word that should be used here is "entitlement". It clearly seems like most of these people feel entitled to receive tips, even if they make it look like they don't care about tips (which clearly isn't true, because if they really didn't care about tips, why even mention them?).


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## astoria (May 14, 2020)

Raz said:


> Yeah, the word that should be used here is "entitlement". It clearly seems like most of these people feel entitled to receive tips, even if they make it look like they don't care about tips (which clearly isn't true, because if they really didn't care about tips, why even mention them?).


Yesss that was the word I was looking for when thinking of this whole situation.


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## Zura (May 15, 2020)

I'm getting a real "I don't want to tip so don't you dare make me think about you or your feelings because that makes me feel bad " vibe from this thread. I honestly don't get why this is an issue. I guess there's always gonna be those kinds of costumers that feel entitled to services and time


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## Cethosia (May 15, 2020)

Zura said:


> I'm getting a real "I don't want to tip so don't you dear make me think about you or your feelings because that makes me feel bad " vibe from this thread. I honestly don't get why this is an issue. I guess there's always gonna be those kinds of costumers that feel entitled to services and time


Then those people who expect tips should just ask a fee instead. A tip is *not *mandatory


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## Reploid (May 15, 2020)

Zura said:


> I'm getting a real "I don't want to tip so don't you dare make me think about you or your feelings because that makes me feel bad " vibe from this thread. I honestly don't get why this is an issue. I guess there's always gonna be those kinds of costumers that feel entitled to services and time


I don’t think you’re on the same page.. you’re not even reading the same book!


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## michealsmells (May 15, 2020)

I totally get this. I used to not accept tips or any kind of payment on my island until people started insisting to tip me. I always say tips are appreciated in initial posts when asking folks to come over, but I never, EVER expect nor require anyone to give me tips. 

That being said I do also feel pressured to tip at times- like people offer so much I gotta give something in return. In that case I usually just directly ask people, "do you want something else in return?" and wait for their answer.


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## morthael (May 15, 2020)

oof this thread got stinky real fast. tipping is _optional_, while i might argue for the semantics/usage of “tips appreciated, not required,” i also think that expecting people to tip and getting irate/upset/what have you when you don’t get one is.... entitled? if you want something in return, post a fee otherwise it’s just stinky.


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## Raz (May 15, 2020)

Zura said:


> I'm getting a real "I don't want to tip so don't you dear make me think about you or your feelings because that makes me feel bad " vibe from this thread. I honestly don't get why this is an issue. I guess there's always gonna be those kinds of costumers that feel entitled to services and time


I fail to see how you can get this vibe when everyone explained they don't have a problem with giving tips, but with the hypocrisy and guilt-tripping.

Also, when you say "I guess there's always gonna be those kinds of costumers that feel entitled to *services and time*", you're not talking about a tip anymore, as services are offered and paid with a fee. Fees aren't tips, and tips aren't fees. You give tips to someone as an act of gratitude because they did you a favor. If they were offering you a service, then you would be paying them a fee.


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## astoria (May 15, 2020)

*Okay so this is what I’m talking about*

in a place called NO FEE island visits, all the posts are mentioning tips, it’s so frequent now that the mods are having to step in and remind people. I would post more examples but it seems now they are deleting the posts that mention donations or tips. 
Names crossed out for privacy


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## Raz (May 15, 2020)

astoria said:


> View attachment 258762View attachment 258763
> *Okay so this is what I’m talking about*
> 
> in a place called NO FEE island visits, all the posts are mentioning tips, it’s so frequent now that the mods are having to step in and remind people. I would post more examples but it seems now they are deleting the posts that mention donations or tips.
> Names crossed out for privacy


What a wholesome community /s


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## morthael (May 15, 2020)

astoria said:


> View attachment 258762View attachment 258763
> *Okay so this is what I’m talking about*
> 
> in a place called NO FEE island visits, all the posts are mentioning tips, it’s so frequent now that the mods are having to step in and remind people. I would post more examples but it seems now they are deleting the posts that mention donations or tips.
> Names crossed out for privacy


oof from what i’ve seen, acnh discords have been pretty lawless lands and just have a ton of chaos. i’ve been trading/hosting mostly on tbt and i was only taking tbt into account and not discord, but with that in the mix..... man oof.


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## astoria (May 15, 2020)

morthael said:


> oof from what i’ve seen, acnh discords have been pretty lawless lands and just have a ton of chaos. i’ve been trading/hosting mostly on tbt and i was only taking tbt into account and not discord, but with that in the mix..... man oof.


Yeah my complaints were mainly about the discord because it’s a very popular one with tons of members and I usually go there because it’s always active and I wanna see the different islands to get inspiration, but it’s tiring seeing that in every single posts it feels like no one wants to hang out on their island for fun. I’ve never visited any islands on TBT forums so I don’t know how it is but I was speaking in experience to discord.


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## Raz (May 15, 2020)

astoria said:


> Yeah my complaints were mainly about the discord because it’s a very popular one with tons of members and I usually go there because it’s always active and I wanna see the different islands to get inspiration, but it’s tiring seeing that in every single posts it feels like no one wants to hang out on their island for fun. I’ve never visited any islands on TBT forums so I don’t know how it is but I was speaking in experience to discord.


I have been visiting some people from here and, thankfully, most people I interacted with were always friendly. I could make a list of people who spontaneously approached me to offer things for free, or just had me on their islands because they wanted to simply hang out with other players for fun.

I also dealt with a few people from a more financial standpoint (as a buyer) and I had no problems (even if I have to admit, these were cold, purely commercial interactions).

I also have been opening my island to others for free (as always). I take people on tours, host for diys, call people for then to pick items they want...

But I can see that, if I was more involved in the commercial side of the community, things probably wouldn't be that way.


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## Millysaurusrexjr (May 15, 2020)

astoria said:


> *Okay so this is what I’m talking about*
> 
> in a place called NO FEE island visits, all the posts are mentioning tips, it’s so frequent now that the mods are having to step in and remind people. I would post more examples but it seems now they are deleting the posts that mention donations or tips.
> Names crossed out for privacy



Man that reminds me of those islands on the turnip exchange in the NO FEE section _still_ charging fees lol


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## astoria (May 15, 2020)

Raz said:


> I have been visiting some people from here and, thankfully, most people I interacted with were always friendly. I could make a list of people who spontaneously approached me to offer things for free, or just had me on their islands because they wanted to simply hang out with other players for fun.
> 
> I also dealt with a few people from a more financial standpoint (as a buyer) and I had no problems (even if I have to admit, these were cold, purely commercial interactions).
> 
> ...


Yeah I’m new to the forums even though I’ve been here for a few weeks so eventually I might check out some of the islands here. I joined because I miss the format of forums and not sites like reddit where your posts only get responses if they’re upvoted. I’ve made many topics about AC on there and would never get any comments cause my posts weren’t popular enough so I feel with forums there’s more discussion.

Also yeah by hanging around discord a lot I see a side of the community that just feels entitled and just want to get items in exchange and not really enjoy making friends or sharing their island.

	Post automatically merged: May 15, 2020




The mods on the discord updated their post and now I see they are getting rid of posts that mention any of the following. When they say this it makes me feel like they understand if people see tips all the time they will feel pressured to give them or that they’re subtly asking for tips.


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## Celes (May 15, 2020)

jiojiop said:


> I'm not arguing whether it's wrong or not - I said in another reply I can understand expecting compensation for one's time. I'm just saying it definitely adds pressure, and it seems there we are in agreement.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


In your earlier post, you implied that the phrase was passive aggressive and was a front for people who felt insecure about demanding entry fees. Even if this isn’t the case you were making in that post, I still feel that it insinuates that the phrase is “wrong”.

I completely agree with you that it functions as a reminder. People who say that phrase genuinely would like tips if people are able to provide them. Personally, I would feel a bit disappointment if I didn’t get any tips, but I wouldn’t have a grudge or feel any anger towards the people I hosted as I strictly mentioned that tips were unnecessary. By using this phrase, you must be able to accept the consequence of getting no tips, and that’s okay. It’s the wrong phrase to use if you absolutely wanted some sort of payment in return.

Though tying in with the shoe analogy, I still don’t think it mirrors the same situation. Running through both scenarios in my head, I feel that the amount of pressure is very different. Considering the social context, it’s more so a request rather than a reminder. It’s similar to someone saying “you don’t have to help stack the chairs, but it would be appreciated”. You don’t exactly know that they’d want you to take off you shoes/stack the chairs in the first place, and they know that too. So the phrase functions as a sort of polite request. Say at a fundraising event that’s part of a sports game, someone says at the end of a speech, “You don’t have to donate, but it would be appreciated”. You’re already aware that donating is possible since it’s a fundraising event, so it functions more so as a reminder. You can attend the sports game and not donate money, and that’s fine. This is a similar case as tipping in AC. Most people are aware that tipping exists, thus the phrase acts as a reminder. A reminder causes much less pressure than denying an easy to do request. Though all in all, this phrase should ideally act as it means literally. Using it in the form of a request definitely comes off as more passive aggressive than using it as a reminder. I know that this phrase can be interpreted as a request, which is what makes people feel obligated to do so. However, I hope that people realize that the majority of people who use it don’t mean it that way.

EDIT: I just wanted to add that a major incentive for people to use this phrase is so they can still receive some tips without needing to enforce an entry fee. It takes much more work to make sure that everyone is paying the fee. There’s also more stress placed on the host as the fee should be enforced so that it’s fair to others. It’s a win-win situation for both sides.


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## Elov (May 15, 2020)

In my opinion from using the discord server, and at the time barely having 20k bells / 1-2 nmt to my name. I felt immensely pressured to tip when visiting towns who said "tips appreciated" and I would scramble because I felt to not tip would be rude, and I didn't want to make them feel insulted by tipping 1k bells so I would tip 5k, and that would be 1/4th of my bank. Tips are supposed to be an extra sign of gratitude. When I see someone writing "tips appreciated" I automatically think, okay this person is wanting tips for their service, and now I'm going to feel like a jackass if I don't tip so I can't help but feel pressured to do so. If you truly want to give things for free, don't mention tipping at all. And then when someone wants to show you an extra sign of gratitude such as a tip, it would be something they went completely out of their own way to do. And I think that's something worth appreciating. If you mention tips, others might tip you due to social obligation, because it just feels rude not to when it has already been mentioned. And if you want tips! Just charge a fee! It makes the guesswork so much easier, I would much rather visit a town with a fee than a town that says "tips appreciated" That way I don't have to feel guilty, if I insulted them or whatever, and I know exactly how much they want for their services.


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## Katattacc (May 15, 2020)

i do because i am just happy some one is willing to go through the trouble of opening their island to the public and everything that entails.


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