# LGBTQA - Discussion and support.



## Leer

Eh. Not really sure what to say besides the title. Keep it polite, keep it civil and safe for work.


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## oath2order

We have an LGBTQA page now. This is awesome. It's the one thing ACC never could get away with. 

I'm the G, by the way


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## Prof Gallows

Good luck keeping this thread civil, the past ones never lived for very long.


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## Stevey Queen

I used to be B, then G, and now I'm S. Personal reasons, nothing bad.


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## oath2order

Prof Gallows said:


> Good luck keeping this thread civil, the past ones never lived for very long.



Ugh, that's a problem then here then?


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## Justin

oath2order said:


> Ugh, that's a problem then here then?



Maybe 3 years ago, I wouldn't say it is now though. And if there really are any issues, we will take care of them.


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## Jake

I would say the f word but then Justin will get mad at me again and threaten to kill me 

so I am le homo


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## Leer

Part of the reason I joined here was because of how obnoxious ACC was. e_e between freaking out about crossdressing possiblitids in new leaf and no actual discussion...


Anyway, i'm trans* and pan.


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## Jake

I'm adoptive trans because male bathroom are disgusting. So when I go out I use the females, and then when they like 'y u in here' i like 'o am transgender' they liek 'o'


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## m12

Being in the military has had its pretty bad moments, being gay myself. The thinking in here is very close-minded, which has me at a stand-still in terms of meeting other LGB members of the military. We've only just started to become less discriminatory, with DADT being repealed a while back. The next step would be to recognize gay marriage, which is a big topic in the military high-brass ring at this moment.


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## Jas0n

m12 said:


> Being in the military has had its pretty bad moments, being gay myself. The thinking in here is very close-minded, which has me at a stand-still in terms of meeting other LGB members of the military. We've only just started to become less discriminatory, with DADT being repealed a while back. The next step would be to recognize gay marriage, which is a big topic in the military high-brass ring at this moment.



You're gay? I never knew.

I'm a bisexual guy which according to most is an imaginary creature. Resident unicorn over here.


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## oath2order

Jas0n said:


> You're gay? I never knew.
> 
> I'm a bisexual guy which according to most is an imaginary creature. Resident unicorn over here.



My mother is an idiot who believes you don't exist. Congratulations, dear unicorn 

But yeah, the court cases for DOMA and Proposition 8 seem to be going along quite nicely.


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## Caius

Jas0n said:


> You're gay? I never knew.
> 
> I'm a bisexual guy which according to most is an imaginary creature. Resident unicorn over here.



As a 3 dollar bill.


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## Trundle

man am I like
the only straight guy here or what

edit: well, we are on an animal crossing forum


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## Sporge27

You may be one of the few straight guys in the thread... about being glbt.... so yeah
_edit:  forgot the q and the a... too many letters I was tempted to do something like glbtqasdfjkklsajngoihgweao, there really should be a better word made_


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## Bacon Boy

Well, I'm a Christian. And I don't see why people hate on LGBT people. It's their life, let them live it. I'm for equal rights for everyone, even though I'm straight myself. And literally, my thought process changed thanks to TBT. So whee!


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## Gummy

Sexuality seems to be a sensitive issue, but I don't really know much about it. I think it's important to make everyone feel welcome and accepted, though.


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## Bacon Boy

Sporge27 said:


> You may be one of the few straight guys in the thread... about being glbt.... so yeah
> _edit:  forgot the q and the a... too many letters I was tempted to do something like glbtqasdfjkklsajngoihgweao, there really should be a better word made_


How about... People?


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## Juicebox

It's weird. I live in one of the most conservative States in the US. Due to being in music and theater, many of the people I associated with were Mormon, Jehovah, and Christian. This is a place where we weren't allowed to learn about sex ed at the risk of being sued.

And yet when I came out of the closet as a lesbian, the only people that gave me grief about it were kids who hadn't been to church once in their life. Hell, my first girlfriend was a mormon and she still partially considers herself one, though she no longer practices.

Then again, there's only four lesbians in my whole 70,000+ population town, so maybe I'm seen as a commodity.


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## Mino

Sporge27 said:


> You may be one of the few straight guys in the thread... about being glbt.... so yeah
> _edit:  forgot the q and the a... too many letters I was tempted to do something like glbtqasdfjkklsajngoihgweao, there really should be a better word made_



How about quiltbag:

http://www.belltreeforums.com/showthread.php?62240-QUILTBAGs-Be-careful-please&highlight=quiltbag


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## Jas0n

Mino said:


> How about quiltbag:
> 
> http://www.belltreeforums.com/showthread.php?62240-QUILTBAGs-Be-careful-please&highlight=quiltbag



I agree with your post on that thread. I think sexuality is far too fluid to categorise under the limited labels that are available. As Bacon Boy said, everyone should just be "people" and the world would be a much easier place.


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## Sporge27

Well yes sexuality and even gender is really more a spectrum than a binary thing, terms are still needed to discuss it at all.


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## SockHead

I ain't gay, but if you gay, that's a-okay.


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## Leer

gender is especially fluid, wow. u3u
but i think LGBTQA is an okay label for the general idea of not being cisgender or straight.


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## Jake

SockHead said:


> I ain't gay, but if you gay, that's a-okay.



dnt lie 2 me >


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## Caius




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## SockHead

Jake. said:


> dnt lie 2 me >



ur a-okay with me pal


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## Jas0n

Zr388 said:


>


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## Mino

Jas0n said:


>


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## Bacon Boy

Mino said:


>


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## Mino

You ruined it.


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## Micah

Bacon Boy said:


>


Italian and proud.


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## Sonicdude41

I'm of the homosexual species, hah.  Came to terms with it during my sophomore year of high school and have been happy since then.  Probably couldn't have done it without all of the friends that I had both then and now.


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## Bacon Boy

Micah said:


> Italian and proud.


We're a gender of our own. And everyone wants a piece of Italians. ;D


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## Jas0n

Bacon Boy said:


> We're a gender of our own. And everyone wants a piece of Italians. ;D



Only if you have awesome black eyebrows and know how to cook a mean pizza


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## oath2order

Jas0n said:


> Only if you have awesome black eyebrows and know how to cook a mean pizza



I totally agree with you there


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## Bacon Boy

Weird thing is, I do have black eyebrows and I make the hand-made pizza that's been passed down in my family.
Jas0n wants me now.

Also,


Spoiler


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## Caius

I'm going to start calling you Ezio and you're going to deal with it.


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## indigoXdaisy

It's a shame that this thread got so off-topic.


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## Mino

indigoXdaisy said:


> It's a shame that this thread got so off-topic.



Maybe there are no quiltbags that need support?


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## Jas0n

To get it somewhat more on-topic;

Aaron Swartz, the co-creator of Reddit, committed suicide on January 11th. Incredible guy, I particularly liked this blog post of his: http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/notgay


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## indigoXdaisy

Mino said:


> Maybe there are no quiltbags that need support?



I'm sure that there are some here who'd like support or who'd at least like to discuss their experiences or hardships they may have. Maybe they're not posting because the thread has become so off-topic, and they don't want to be the one to put it back on track. I know I wouldn't want to, as I'd feel intimidated or like I'm stopping the off-topic "fun".


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## Stevey Queen

I have a question for uh, hate to be blunt about it, gay people. Do your friends or other people always talk to you about how your gay? To the point where it becomes everything who you are? It was like this when I was. I wanted to know if I was the only one.


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## AmenFashion

Lovemcqueen said:


> I have a question for uh, hate to be blunt about it, gay people. Do your friends or other people always talk to you about how your gay? To the point where it becomes everything who you are? It was like this when I was. I wanted to know if I was the only one.



My friends and family don't let "gay" become who I am. I'm treated the way I always was before I came out, but now we talk about guys I can get with, lol.
However, strangers, co-workers, etc. ... That's who I am. It's annoying. I'm always asked by people "Wow you're gay? When did you decide to stop liking girls?" Or "What made you want to be gay?" I'm just like "Are you kidding me?" People just don't understand.
The worst is girls who say "Let's go out! I've always wanted a gay friend!" I'm like "Betch get out of here".
I only have time for people who want to be close to ME as a person, not my being gay.


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## Juicebox

I am indeed a pretty happy quiltbag. Despite the fact that I can't date anyone due to the lack of viable woman is a bit of a problem so if anyone can give me advice on how to deal with this, I would like to hear it because I'm honestly very bored with having crushes on straight girls.


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## Micah

I'm gay, but I'm not out because of my extremely religious family and friends. Blah.


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## Jas0n

Lovemcqueen said:


> I have a question for uh, hate to be blunt about it, gay people. Do your friends or other people always talk to you about how your gay? To the point where it becomes everything who you are? It was like this when I was. I wanted to know if I was the only one.



My simple solution for that is to not make it all about who I am to begin with. I don't feel the need to address my bisexuality unless it directly relates to the conversation. I don't see the need to come out to everybody I meet, it's my personal life. Straight people don't have to go around addressing that they're straight.


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## Yuki Nagato

What I don't get, is why gay people should have to come out in the first place, like you said. It's hardly alien; being gay is normal. Why should gays have to make a big song and dance just to say they're gay.


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## Bacon Boy

Suiseiseki said:


> What I don't get, is why gay people should have to come out in the first place, like you said. It's hardly alien; being gay is normal. Why should gays have to make a big song and dance just to say they're gay.


Because of the way our modern-day culture portrays it with shows like Glee or the New Normal. They over emphasize being gay and act like you're a rare breed if you are so when in reality, there's really nothing that sets you apart from every human being on the planet. Gay people are the same as straight people. The only difference is the sexual preference.


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## Jake

Bacon Boy said:


> Glee


*Glee*
*Glee*
*Glee*
*Glee*


Sorry wut tht is all I see in that sentence


Ok srs time. Yes Glee does over emphasize the gay characters. (this is going to be a huge ass long post I can feel it in my bones so sit tight my lovelies)

Season 1: Kurt.
Season 2: Kurt. Blaine. Santana. Brittany. Dave.
Season 3: Kurt. Blaine. Santana. Brittany. Dave. Sebastian. Chandler. 
Season 4: Kurt. Blaine. Santana. Brittany. Dave. Sebastian. Chandler. Eli C. 
(probs forgot some lol)

Those are just the mains. Sorry what did you say back in Season 1 Kurt 'I'm the only gay kid in Lima' (maybe it was season 2 oh well) - anyway, I only said a few of the characters. Season 3 they went to the gay bar filled with people. Santana also has that girl who she had an 'attraction' to (in 4x04) - not to mention she gets a new love interest in 4x14 (AKA Eli. C 2.0). Season 3 finale there are two gays walking down the halls...

I'm sorry Kurt wut... *'I'm the only gay kid in Lima'*
It's just kinda a joke within the fandom I guess, but Klaine (god speak ship terms... Kurt and Blaine) get such unequal treatment to Brittana (Santana and Brittany). I don't even like Klaine myself, I prefer Brittana (or non canon Faberry) but I mean. All of Klaine's story lines are essentially parallel to Finchel's (Finn and Rachel)

- both lose their virginities in the same episode
- both get prom queen and dance with their bf
That's just a few

Then their parallels with Brittana...
- Saturday Night Glee-ver; Brittana 'I love you so much' some other **** too idk
- Dance With Somebody (the next episode); Klaine 'I love you so much' legit the wording was exactly the same

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BLINA (Blaine and Tina)
GURLL U KNOW HE IS GAY WHY THE **** DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM AND HAVE TO SING 2 SOLOS WITHIN 3 EPISODES DIRECTED TO HIM. 
Lol jk I don't care more Tina solos for me haehaheaoe

Where has this post gone I don't even know let me get back on track..

Ok. Fox/Glee (idk if it's Fox or the writers) treat both gay characters differently. Brittana are totally allowed to talk about their sex lives, post a sex tape, talk about scissoring blah blah blha.
Klaine get to be like 'lets go make out'

No that's not even what I wanted to post ok...

But the first thing I posted; the whole Kurt saying 'I'm the only gay one here'
Season 1: Kurt is the only gay kid in Lima
Season 2: Kurt finds another gay kid
Season 3: More gay characters are introduced
Season 4: 50% of the school is gay
Season 5: All of Lima is gay and wants Kurt Hummel


OHHHH I REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!
Season 3, Mash Off/I kissed a girl (3x06/3x07 I think?)

3x06;
Finn: Hey I'm Finn Hudson I'm gonna out Santana in the middle of the hallways so everyone can hear because I am such a hero
Santana: O hey Finn outed me I'm gonna slap him across the face

3x07;
*try to suspend Santana for slapping him but totally ignore the fact he just outed her and ruined her life*
Finn: Santana I am sorry I will throw a big ass party in glee club and bring the troubletones and new directions together to help you. LET'S HAVE A PARTY YA'LL!!!!!
*Have like 3 people sing songs about how they love u for being a lesbian*
Santana: HEY YA'LL I AM LESBIAN LETS THROW A PARTY AND HAVE ALL THE GIRLS SING I KISSED A GIRL AND WE'LL ALL HUMP EACH OTHER AND FEEL EACH OTHER UP IN THE CHOIR ROOM AND HAVE YOU ALL HUG ME LIKE I AM THE QUEEN

Like no. That episode was totes ****ed did she really need to have a whole episode dedicated to her just for her coming out? I think not...

Ok I have gone way off track with this post I forget what I planned to post oops sorry every1


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## Jas0n

Bacon Boy said:


> Because of the way our modern-day culture portrays it with shows like Glee or the New Normal. They over emphasize being gay and act like you're a rare breed if you are so when in reality, there's really nothing that sets you apart from every human being on the planet. Gay people are the same as straight people. The only difference is the sexual preference.



I think that's the problem with sexuality at the moment. We're in the stage where it's largely becoming accepted and TV shows are taking advantage of that to boost their views. Eventually sexuality will probably become the same as race. Nobody will care and it'll just be a thing that exists.

I hope one day the whole "Gay Pride" thing disappears also. While it's great for visibility, I don't think it does gay, lesbian or bisexual people any favours. It separates people by their sexualities instead of what should be happening, which is integrating everybody into a collective society.


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## Jake

Jas0n said:


> I hope one day the whole "Gay Pride" thing disappears also. While it's great for visibility, I don't think it does gay, lesbian or bisexual people any favours. It separates people by their sexualities instead of what should be happening, which is integrating everybody into a collective society.



yolo bro I totes agree.
Different thoughts though.
But them *****s (lol not me because it's me lets be honest here) are like 'Hey I am gay lets be proud of who I am and flaunt it in the whole worlds face"
I am just like 'gurl no'
like. Sry. You want equal treatment, u want to have kiddies and get married. But yet here u r flaunting ur gayness infront of everyones face.
Maybe straight people want a parade to express their straightness, too.
I don't even understand

Like yes it is good for creating awareness, but like, when this **** is on my TV I am just like 'plz go away I am sick of u being in my face all the time;

does this make sense? no ok


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## Juicebox

Lovemcqueen said:


> I have a question for uh, hate to be blunt about it, gay people. Do your friends or other people always talk to you about how your gay? To the point where it becomes everything who you are? It was like this when I was. I wanted to know if I was the only one.



For me, it really depends on the friend. Some of my friends are perfectly fine with it and don't even address it. While I've had friends that wouldn't let it the hell go. I think they were just trying to be tolerant and just ended up being hardcore annoying. Like I couldn't even say a girl was pretty in a platonic way without them teasing me.

And then I have some who aren't really that comfortable with it, and prefer not to talk about it. Which is honestly fine with me.


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## oath2order

Personally, I dislike the whole gay pride movement. Parading down the street half-nude is not going to convince anyone to take you seriously. It annoys me.


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## AmenFashion

oath2order said:


> Personally, I dislike the whole gay pride movement. Parading down the street half-nude is not going to convince anyone to take you seriously. It annoys me.



I've been to several gay pride parades and participating can actually be empowering! It's kind of a way to show the public "This is how much I care what you say about me"
When you grow up being afraid to express yourself with the fear of looking/sounding "gay", or being judged in general, it's just a way to let it all out and show the world "This is me". And being surrounded by others like you makes up for all the moments of feeling like a minority.
I cannot deny though, it is the most obnoxious, tongue-in-cheek way to show this. But it's something to experience.


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## Jas0n

AmenFashion said:


> I've been to several gay pride parades and participating can actually be empowering! It's kind of a way to show the public "This is how much I care what you say about me"
> When you grow up being afraid to express yourself with the fear of looking/sounding "gay", or being judged in general, it's just a way to let it all out and show the world "This is me". And being surrounded by others like you makes up for all the moments of feeling like a minority.
> I cannot deny though, it is the most obnoxious, tongue-in-cheek way to show this. But it's something to experience.



Not everybody defines themselves primarily by their sexuality, though. Saying "THIS IS ME", at least for me, isn't right. My sexuality isn't me.


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## AmenFashion

Jas0n said:


> Not everybody defines themselves primarily by their sexuality, though. Saying "THIS IS ME", at least for me, isn't right. My sexuality isn't me.



Of course, to each their own.
Personally, my sexuality was actually a huge part of who I was growing up. It was the source of my unhappiness and made me uncomfortable in my body. Being able to overcome all that and embrace my sexuality was one of the biggest turning points. 
The older I get, I'm learning more about what truly makes me _me_, and I realize it's deeper than just being gay. But my sexuality was, at one point, a big part of who I was.


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## oath2order

AmenFashion said:


> Of course, to each their own.
> Personally, my sexuality was actually a huge part of who I was growing up. It was the source of my unhappiness and made me uncomfortable in my body. Being able to overcome all that and embrace my sexuality was one of the biggest turning points.
> The older I get, I'm learning more about what truly makes me _me_, and I realize it's deeper than just being gay. But my sexuality was, at one point, a big part of who I was.



I agree. I mean, I came out around 12 or 13, and back then it was like "Oh yeah I'm gay yay this is everything." And now that I'm in college, it's like, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay, there's that."


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## Cloudkitty

Suiseiseki said:


> What I don't get, is why gay people should have to come out in the first place, like you said. It's hardly alien; being gay is normal. Why should gays have to make a big song and dance just to say they're gay.



If someone close to you makes a confession, and they make it clear that it is a big deal to them, then it is important.  It doesn't matter if learning that your friend/sibling/barista is flying the rainbow quiltbag makes no difference in how you see them...it was an important point they needed to make.  It's fabulous that more and more people see everyone as equal.  Acceptance is beautiful.  Inclusivity is the way of the future...but we aren't completely there yet.  I love that you see it all as normal, Suiseiseki.  I wish the whole world saw gender and sexuality that way.  So yeah, it still is a big deal to come out.  Especially in small, isolated communities, or to religious family members.


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## Dustbunnii

I took a class about a year ago where we talked a lot about the whole "are you gay or straight" thing, and we learned about something called the Kinsey Scale.
It's a scale of 0-6 with 0 being completely straight with no "gay" fantasies or thoughts whatsoever, and 6 being the complete opposite. Learning about it made me change the way that I think about different sexualities and made me appreciate them more.
On that scale, I would put myself as a 1 because I've only fantasized and wouldn't actually date another girl and consider myself to be straight.
I used to sort of consider myself as asexual though because I was completely repulsed by the idea of any sort of sexual interaction with anyone and wanted nothing to do with it. I've never actually met someone else who considers or used to consider themselves asexual though. I'm curious to see if anyone here does.


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## Jas0n

Dustbunnii said:


> I took a class about a year ago where we talked a lot about the whole "are you gay or straight" thing, and we learned about something called the Kinsey Scale.
> It's a scale of 0-6 with 0 being completely straight with no "gay" fantasies or thoughts whatsoever, and 6 being the complete opposite. Learning about it made me change the way that I think about different sexualities and made me appreciate them more.
> On that scale, I would put myself as a 1 because I've only fantasized and wouldn't actually date another girl and consider myself to be straight.
> I used to sort of consider myself as asexual though because I was completely repulsed by the idea of any sort of sexual interaction with anyone and wanted nothing to do with it. I've never actually met someone else who considers or used to consider themselves asexual though. I'm curious to see if anyone here does.



Kinsey Scale's good although I don't feel like it really highlights sexuality well enough. It's far more fluid and diverse than the 0-6 on the Kinsey Scale.


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## Dustbunnii

Jas0n said:


> Kinsey Scale's good although I don't feel like it really highlights sexuality well enough. It's far more fluid and diverse than the 0-6 on the Kinsey Scale.



I agree completely.
before I took the class, I never really looked at sexuality as anything other than black or white. You were either gay, straight, or bi. That was it. 
But now I know better; there's a lot of grey area and things that go beyond the scale.


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## Stevey Queen

Dustbunnii said:


> I took a class about a year ago where we talked a lot about the whole "are you gay or straight" thing, and we learned about something called the Kinsey Scale.
> It's a scale of 0-6 with 0 being completely straight with no "gay" fantasies or thoughts whatsoever, and 6 being the complete opposite. Learning about it made me change the way that I think about different sexualities and made me appreciate them more.
> On that scale, I would put myself as a 1 because I've only fantasized and wouldn't actually date another girl and consider myself to be straight.
> I used to sort of consider myself as asexual though because I was completely repulsed by the idea of any sort of sexual interaction with anyone and wanted nothing to do with it. I've never actually met someone else who considers or used to consider themselves asexual though. I'm curious to see if anyone here does.



I wouldn't call myself asexual but I'm not dating anyone ever again until I know it's going to work out. I have been used and lied to way to many times and it's put a bad impression on love for me.


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## Jas0n

Lovemcqueen said:


> I wouldn't call myself asexual but I'm not dating anyone ever again until I know it's going to work out. I have been used and lied to way to many times and it's put a bad impression on love for me.



Then you will never date again. The thing is, you never know if it's going to work out, even a relationship you're sure is true love may end up not working out. You have to take these risks in life or you won't ever live.


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## Stevey Queen

Jas0n said:


> Then you will never date again. The thing is, you never know if it's going to work out, even a relationship you're sure is true love may end up not working out. You have to take these risks in life or you won't ever live.



This is true. I will probably grow out of it but it's just how I feel for now.


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## oath2order

For me on that scale, I'm 6. I would date/do anything relationship-wise with a woman. That being said, if it comes up in conversation, I can understand why heterosexual men would find women attractive.


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## Liv

It seems as though all of you are referring to Kinsey's Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale, although it is well thought out and has a lot of research to back it up, I find that the adapted version, The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, developed by Fritz Klein, which expands on Kinsey's scale with 7 variables and 3 situations in time: past, present and ideal can create a more informative answer. However, something like your sexual orientation should not be based off of a quiz. Also, just like the rating scale this quiz has a lot of gray areas (pansexual, asexual).

I personally support gay rights and am a part of my school's Gay Straight Alliance. My godfather was gay and died of AIDS when I was six. I find the GSA not only a great group of people for questions pertaining to sexual orientation but also other questions you might just have about stuff. I love celebrating National Coming Out Day, Transgender Day of Remembrance and of course, Harvey Milk Day. They are some of most joyous days in the school.


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## oath2order

Liv said:


> It seems as though all of you are referring to Kinsey's Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale, although it is well thought out and has a lot of research to back it up, I find that the adapted version, The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, developed by Fritz Klein, which expands on Kinsey's scale with 7 variables and 3 situations in time: past, present and ideal can create a more informative answer. However, something like your sexual orientation should not be based off of a quiz. Also, just like the rating scale this quiz has a lot of gray areas (pansexual, asexual).
> 
> I personally support gay rights and am a part of my school's Gay Straight Alliance. My godfather was gay and died of AIDS when I was six. I find the GSA not only a great group of people for questions pertaining to sexual orientation but also other questions you might just have about stuff. I love celebrating National Coming Out Day, Transgender Day of Remembrance and of course, Harvey Milk Day. They are some of most joyous days in the school.



I actually read about the Grid on Wikipedia shortly after I read about the Scale. Yeah, it was the same results for me


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## Fabioisonfire

I fully support gay sex.


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## Jake

Fabioisonfire said:


> I fully support gay sex.



Like button please


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## Roel

I'm gay and came out about a year ago. The first person I came out to was my best (lesbian) friend. We basically became friends because she asked my brother if I was gay. At that time, I already knew I was gay, but I was ashamed of it. After we became friends, she asked a several times, but I denied it, which is weird, because she's lesbian and she's clearly not against it. I even got into a relationship with a girl. I lost my virginity to her (which I don't really care about) but I also took her virginity. I was 18 when I came out and I think it sounds like a kind of old age to come out, even though there are even people in their 30's that haven't come out yet. I don't reget coming out so late. I even don't regret the relationship with the girl, because I really enjoyed it, even though I don't really feel sexually attracted to girls.

So yeah, that's my story. Anyways, one thing I really hate is being called gay all the time. A thing my boyfriend does. Sometimes he's like "my gay boyfriend" and I'm like "really?". Anyways, I'm probably just really a whiner, because I also don't like to hug and kiss all the time. When we're out clubbing, I don't care, but in public I really don't like to hug and kiss and stuff.


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## Juicebox

Fabioisonfire said:


> I fully support gay sex.



I want a shirt that says that in big bold letters.

Then I'll get jumped because I live in Idaho and they don't like that ****.


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## oath2order

Juicebox said:


> I want a shirt that says that in big bold letters.
> 
> Then I'll get jumped because I live in Idaho and they don't like that ****.



Wow. Right next to Washington. So weird how different the opinions are in two close areas.


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## Micah

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout...omes-gay-while-accepting-award-230305217.html

Some of the comments in the article:

_"i just ate a bowl of apple jacks...alert the media"

"the tell all generation......nobody is listening!"

"I think people are switching teams just so they can come out and make a big deal about."

"That's proof that man is born straight, and when he goes against the nature that he was born with, it is given a different reaction."

"He was a powder puff that wanted attention.... who cares what you do..... I bet two cheer leaders turned him later that night.."_

The ignorance is astounding and incredibly offensive. Sigh...


----------



## Juicebox

Micah said:


> http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout...omes-gay-while-accepting-award-230305217.html
> 
> Some of the comments in the article:
> 
> _"i just ate a bowl of apple jacks...alert the media"
> 
> "the tell all generation......nobody is listening!"
> 
> "I think people are switching teams just so they can come out and make a big deal about."
> 
> "That's proof that man is born straight, and when he goes against the nature that he was born with, it is given a different reaction."
> 
> "He was a powder puff that wanted attention.... who cares what you do..... I bet two cheer leaders turned him later that night.."_
> 
> The ignorance is astounding and incredibly offensive. Sigh...


It's better to laugh at people like these, rather than give any weight to what they say. Fact is, ignorance can't be beaten with wisdom. It can only be beat with time and perseverance.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Do you think that you are born gay? What's your opinion?


----------



## Jake

Yes.


----------



## Jas0n

Lovemcqueen said:


> Do you think that you are born gay? What's your opinion?



I don't see any other logical answer (and there are already plenty of studies which give strong evidence towards the matter). Besides, if it were a choice or indoctrinated to you while you were young that doesn't exactly explain alternate sexualities in the animal kingdom.


----------



## Juicebox

I was born pretty gay. I can't remember even liking a boy. Whenever I played house as a kid, I'd always request to be the child since I didn't want to be married to a man, and the dad was always a male stuffed animal. I can even recall my first crush, though I didn't know it was a crush at the time.


----------



## AmenFashion

Lovemcqueen said:


> Do you think that you are born gay? What's your opinion?



Yep.
My first crush, as far back as I can remember, was a boy. Even before I knew what being "gay" was. 
It's a natural connection that can't be forced, or "chosen".
I've never once felt anything towards a female. Not by choice. But if it isn't there, it isn't there.


----------



## Bacon Boy

I think it can be both. I know someone who really loved his girlfriend for a while until they broke up and then he decided to try being with another guy and he liked it, so he chose to be gay. He had nothing wrong with being straight; he loved it, he just chose to be something different.


----------



## Jas0n

Bacon Boy said:


> I think it can be both. I know someone who really loved his girlfriend for a while until they broke up and then he decided to try being with another guy and he liked it, so he chose to be gay. He had nothing wrong with being straight; he loved it, he just chose to be something different.



No, I don't think that's a choice at all. I wish people would stop spreading stories like this because it really discredits sexuality, as if it's something people do to be noticed or to stand out.

As I've explained before in this thread sexuality is far more diverse than "Straight, Gay, Bisexual". He may have loved his girlfriend, and that's fine. That doesn't mean he wasn't always gay (or somewhat bisexual) and that woman was just an exception.

I feel like so many exclusively straight or gay people feel like they have to stick to these labels, as if they aren't themselves if they stray from this at all. I'm sure there are plenty of people who identify as straight or gay and would date somebody of the same or opposite sex if society wasn't so judgemental and wished to put everybody into neat little boxes.


----------



## Juicebox

Well most humans are somewhat Bisexual, even if it's just a tiny margin. I've met people who've made exceptions to their sexuality many times, including my first girlfriend who only dated me, and the rest were all boys.
You also have to keep in mind that some people go through a "gay phase" during puberty because they themselves don't quite understand the difference between platonic attraction and sexual attraction. There were many girls at my school who claimed to be bi, only to give up the label later in life as it became clear that they were sexually attracted to males, and were confusing the fact that they enjoyed the company of girls as homosexual thoughts.

Sexuality is more fluid than everyone thinks. As you grow older, your types and interests change, and while it's good to explore these sexual curiosities, if the attraction isn't there, it just isn't there.


----------



## Roel

I'm sure you are born gay. Why? Because it's something you can't change, so it's something you are born with.

Anyways, am I the only one that finds it hard to imagine being bisexual? To me.. it seems more like a phase, before admitting that you're gay. I know a lot of people that considered themselves bisexual, before considering themselves gay. Boys and girls are just so different.. so how can you feel attracted for both?


----------



## AmenFashion

Roel said:


> I'm sure you are born gay. Why? Because it's something you can't change, so it's something you are born with.
> 
> Anyways, am I the only one that finds it hard to imagine being bisexual? To me.. it seems more like a phase, before admitting that you're gay. I know a lot of people that considered themselves bisexual, before considering themselves gay. Boys and girls are just so different.. so how can you feel attracted for both?



I've been ripped apart and called ignorant for making the statement, but I agree.
I believe bisexuality is the in between. It's testing the waters.
Personally, I came out as "bisexual" as a teen. I fully knew I had no interest in women. I had no intention of ever being with one. I still don't know why I did it, but I guess it made it easier before coming out as "gay", which was a scary word as a teen! At least in the area I grew up in.
The label isn't important to me anymore, but it was back then.

To quote Sex and the City, "I'm not even sure bisexuality exists; I think it's just a layover on the way to Gay-Town".

Though, my opinion is formed based on personal experiences, as well as those of friends in my life.


----------



## Jas0n

Oh joys, biphobia and bi-invisibility is making its way to into this thread! I am not an imaginary creature, nor am I in a transitional phase. Honestly, I swear biphobia is worse from gay people than it is from straight. You would think you guys would learn after all the homophobia.




			
				Roel said:
			
		

> Anyways, am I the only one that finds it hard to imagine being bisexual? To me.. it seems more like a phase, before admitting that you're gay. I know a lot of people that considered themselves bisexual, before considering themselves gay. Boys and girls are just so different.. so how can you feel attracted for both?


Personally, I can't imagine anyone not being attracted to both. You mono-sexuals are strange people.
Plus, saying boys and girls are so different is like saying brunettes and blondes are so different. You can have different tastes.


----------



## Bambi

Jas0n said:


> Oh joys, biphobia and bi-invisibility is making its way to into this thread! I am not an imaginary creature, nor am I in a transitional phase. Honestly, I swear biphobia is worse from gay people than it is from straight. You would think you guys would learn after all the homophobia.
> 
> 
> Personally, I can't imagine anyone not being attracted to both. You mono-sexuals are strange people.
> Plus, saying boys and girls are so different is like saying brunettes and blondes are so different. You can have different tastes.



Thank you Jason! As someone who enjoys women AND men equally I have to say I am very offended when people say "Bisexuality isn't real."

People can think its a "transitional" phase all they want but I have been enjoying both sexes for 24 years. Even though I could never imagine liking only one gender, I still don't say that it doesn't exist or its a "transitional" phase before you choose to be straight.

Just like gay people don't have a choice and never did, neither do I! Yes men and women are different. It's the differences that I enjoy so much.


----------



## Bacon Boy

Jas0n said:


> You mono-sexuals are strange people.


The same goes for us mono-sexuals. Bisexualism to us is strange. Just different viewpoints and sexual preferences. Nothing wrong with that.


----------



## Jas0n

Bacon Boy said:


> The same goes for us mono-sexuals. Bisexualism to us is strange. Just different viewpoints and sexual preferences. Nothing wrong with that.



This is exactly my point. Homosexuality is becoming accepted and people think they're being so "open-minded" but in reality, all most people are doing is sticking to the same social norms that have always been in place. Even in gay marriage a lot of people have a "female" and "male" equivalent. I'm sorry, but being gay and applying the same bigoted, close-minded principles as straight homophobes have for centuries does not make you "open-minded".

I'm bisexual, as are many other people. You didn't like it when people said you were in a "phase" or what you were was "wrong" or "non-existent" so don't say that about our sexuality either. To do so is nothing but hypocritical.


----------



## AmenFashion

I suppose I can't say it's impossible to be attracted to both sexes. That's a pretty bold statement.
As someone who is only _sexually_ attracted to one sex, it just didn't make sense that someone could be into both. As you said, it just seems strange.
I guess it really is all about preferences.


----------



## Roel

Jas0n said:


> Oh joys, biphobia and bi-invisibility is making its way to into this thread! I am not an imaginary creature, nor am I in a transitional phase. Honestly, I swear biphobia is worse from gay people than it is from straight. You would think you guys would learn after all the homophobia.
> 
> 
> Personally, I can't imagine anyone not being attracted to both. You mono-sexuals are strange people.
> Plus, saying boys and girls are so different is like saying brunettes and blondes are so different. You can have different tastes.


Excuse me? I was only wondering, if I was the only person with my thought. I don't hate bisexual people and I'm not against them. I just think, there are many bisexual people that turn out to be gay in the end.

To be honest, hair colour and sex is a whole different story. Anyways, I'm sure you have a sex you prefer, right? And you end up dating that sex more than the other one. Sorry if I'm wrong. I don't mean to hurt you in any way.


----------



## Bambi

I think the term "Bisexual" is thrown around too much these days and confuses people. Especially by drunk straight girls at parties who think because they kissed a girl one time they might be "bisexual".

There are actual people who go their whole lives liking both men and women equally. I will have sex with a man or a woman, be in a relationship with a man or a woman and marry a man or a woman. I have been in love with both men and women.

Bisexuality is not a choice anymore than homosexuality is. The choice is what sex to be in a relationship with. (threes a crowd) lol.


----------



## Bacon Boy

Jas0n said:


> This is exactly my point. Homosexuality is becoming accepted and people think they're being so "open-minded" but in reality, all most people are doing is sticking to the same social norms that have always been in place. Even in gay marriage a lot of people have a "female" and "male" equivalent. I'm sorry, but being gay and applying the same bigoted, close-minded principles as straight homophobes have for centuries does not make you "open-minded".
> 
> I'm bisexual, as are many other people. You didn't like it when people said you were in a "phase" or what you were was "wrong" or "non-existent" so don't say that about our sexuality either. To do so is nothing but hypocritical.


i can't tell if you're addressing me or not here. Nothing you're saying applies to me. I'm not saying bisexuality is wrong or abnormal. It's just weird for monosexuals because we can't understand the attraction to both sexes; only one. No need to harp on me. I'm not saying bisexualism doesn't exist. I'm just saying that it's as foreign a concept to me as mono-sexualism is to you. I don't know where you got your information from there...


----------



## Bambi

Roel said:


> there are many bisexual people that turn out to be gay in the end.



This is probably true. Although for all we know they may have been gay all along


----------



## Jas0n

AmenFashion said:


> I suppose I can't say it's impossible to be attracted to both sexes. That's a pretty bold statement.
> As someone who is only _sexually_ attracted to one sex, it just didn't make sense that someone could be into both. As you said, it just seems strange.
> I guess it really is all about preferences.



Yes, it is. Please remember that.

It's far too common in the LGBT community for bisexuals to be cast-off, ignored and even hated because we are "strange" and do not fit into your view of the world. It's stupid because it is no different to homophobia.

This is the reason I think it's ridiculous people use bisexuality as a "transitional phase". Not only does it completely discredit bisexuality but why on earth do they think it's easier? It's far harder than the widely accepted homosexuality.


----------



## Bambi

I always post late


----------



## Jas0n

Roel said:


> Excuse me? I was only wondering, if I was the only person with my thought. I don't hate bisexual people and I'm not against them. I just think, there are many bisexual people that turn out to be gay in the end.
> 
> To be honest, hair colour and sex is a whole different story. Anyways, I'm sure you have a sex you prefer, right? And you end up dating that sex more than the other one. Sorry if I'm wrong. I don't mean to hurt you in any way.


Hair colour and sex isn't a whole different story, really. I'm sure you have a certain hair colour you prefer, right? There's this whole stigma with bisexuals that we are promiscuous and that a partner of one gender would never satisfy us, which is complete bull****. Gender is just another factor of a person's being, the same as hair colour, eye colour, height, fashion sense, etc. Bisexuals simply realise gender as a more fluid factor in their tastes.

And no, I don't have a gender I "prefer". I like both for varying reasons which cannot be defined with a simple "Which do you prefer" question.



Bacon Boy said:


> i can't tell if you're addressing me or not here. Nothing you're saying applies to me. I'm not saying bisexuality is wrong or abnormal. It's just weird for monosexuals because we can't understand the attraction to both sexes; only one. No need to harp on me. I'm not saying bisexualism doesn't exist. I'm just saying that it's as foreign a concept to me as mono-sexualism is to you. I don't know where you got your information from there...



Sorry, I'm getting kind of carried away. I wasn't arguing against you, I was simply emphasising my point which was addressed in your previous post. I realise that bisexuality is a foreign concept and hard for monosexuals to understand, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be accepted. The same way that homosexuality shouldn't be accepted because heterosexuals don't understand it.


----------



## Bacon Boy

Jas0n said:


> Hair colour and sex isn't a whole different story, really. I'm sure you have a certain hair colour you prefer, right? There's this whole stigma with bisexuals that we are promiscuous and that a partner of one gender would never satisfy us, which is complete bull****. Gender is just another factor of a person's being, the same as hair colour, eye colour, height, fashion sense, etc. Bisexuals simply realise gender as a more fluid factor in their tastes.
> 
> And no, I don't have a gender I "prefer". I like both for varying reasons which cannot be defined with a simple "Which do you prefer" question.
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry, I'm getting kind of carried away. I wasn't arguing against you, I was simply emphasising my point which was addressed in your previous post. I realise that bisexuality is a foreign concept and hard for monosexuals to understand, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be accepted. The same way that homosexuality shouldn't be accepted because heterosexuals don't understand it.


I understand that. There's no reason it shouldn't be accepted. People are people and that's all there is to it. It's only a foreign concept to me because I'm not gay. It's not weird or "icky".


----------



## Roel

Jas0n said:


> Hair colour and sex isn't a whole different story, really. I'm sure you have a certain hair colour you prefer, right? There's this whole stigma with bisexuals that we are promiscuous and that a partner of one gender would never satisfy us, which is complete bull****. Gender is just another factor of a person's being, the same as hair colour, eye colour, height, fashion sense, etc. Bisexuals simply realise gender as a more fluid factor in their tastes.


To be honest, I don't prefer any hair colour. I don't even care about looks to be honest, as impossible that may sound. Anyways, I think I can better stop sharing my thought on this, because I'm pissing you off.


----------



## Jas0n

Roel said:


> To be honest, I don't prefer any hair colour. I don't even care about looks to be honest, as impossible that may sound. Anyways, I think I can better stop sharing my thought on this, because I'm pissing you off.



Personality, then. You have something which attracts you to a person and you probably have multiple different sets of things that attract you to people. Gender is factored into my attractions.

EDIT: Also, just a consideration. If you didn't care about looks and only personality, surely you would be pansexual?


----------



## Gummy

It seems a bit odd hearing from gays that they can't wrap their heads around the concept of bisexuality when heterosexuals have been telling them the same thing since forever.


----------



## Bambi

Gummy said:


> It seems a bit odd hearing from gays that they can't wrap their heads around the concept of bisexuality when heterosexuals have been telling them the same thing since forever.



I don't know why it is such a hard concept either to be honest. 

For those of you who think bisexuality is strange and hard to believe. Do you feel the same way about Pansexuality?


----------



## oath2order

Bambi said:


> I don't know why it is such a hard concept either to be honest.
> 
> For those of you who think bisexuality is strange and hard to believe. Do you feel the same way about Pansexuality?



Well, I'm not one of those people. I'm fully open to the different types of sexuality. I just get slightly confused as to how people identify as not male or female.


----------



## Micah

I'm not big on transgenderism, but I wouldn't hate on someone who is.

In terms of pansexuality, I really don't have much of an opinion on it. Despite what people say, I don't think it's too far off from bisexuality, except for what seems to be a minor technicality. I'd be more than welcome to hear from anyone who identifies as pansexual here.


----------



## Jas0n

Micah said:


> I'm not big on transgenderism, but I wouldn't hate on someone who is.
> 
> In terms of pansexuality, I really don't have much of an opinion on it. Despite what people say, I don't think it's too far off from bisexuality, except for what seems to be a minor technicality. I'd be more than welcome to hear from anyone who identifies as pansexual here.



I agree, the two are very similar. Bisexuality simply factors in gender differences in attraction whereas pansexuality is all about the pure personality aspect.


----------



## muffun

Roel said:


> Excuse me? I was only wondering, if I was the only person with my thought. I don't hate bisexual people and I'm not against them. I just think, there are many bisexual people that turn out to be gay in the end.



Sexuality is a lot more fluid than you may believe. A lot of bisexual people can be attracted to the same sex more than the opposite sex, or vice versa. Bisexual is just a term to describe one's sexuality, but it's not necessarily set in stone once one identifies him/herself as such.


----------



## Juicebox

I just met another lesbian in my town, and I wasn't sure what to do. This is literally only the third one I've met in my whole life.


----------



## Jas0n

Juicebox said:


> I just met another lesbian in my town, and I wasn't sure what to do. This is literally only the third one I've met in my whole life.



Lucky you, I've never met another bi guy


----------



## Dustbunnii

Jas0n said:


> Lucky you, I've never met another bi guy



I've met a bunch of bi guys before... and girls
I've also got friends who are or at least used to consider themselves lesbian...
I also know a guy who is gay and I know of a girl who identifies as a guy and prefers to be referred to as a guy and not a girl.

All of this was possible thanks to the anime club that I used to go to. You can meet a lot of different types of people at those sort of things.

Though, as I've said in the past, I have yet to meet someone who identifies as asexual.


----------



## Lauren

I have quite a few gay and lesbian friends oh and 1 bi friend ^.* I jumped for joy about hearing that gay marriage is legal! If women can marry cars and so on and so forth... Men can marry men an women can marry women! Hhe but I'm straight


----------



## Juicebox

The thing is, I have a couple of gay friends, and I've met several girls who say they're bi (though the majority of them have gone back on it later), but I've only met one other just purely, 100% for girls, or at least until recently. I've only met one bi male, and no transgenders have come to my attention as of yet.


----------



## Jake

I have a 14 year old bisexual stalker who constantly messages me and tries to ask me out and that is the only bisexual person i know


----------



## Julie

Most of the people I meet seem to be bisexual, in fact I am probably one of the few straight people in my group of friends. I go to a small charter school and a lot of the students here are gay, lesbian and bi. A lot are pansexual too. 

I have not met someone who is asexual in real life, but I have a good online friend who is.


----------



## YanoShigun

Several of my friends are gay or bisexual, and one is transgender. I'm really glad most of the other people at my school are so chill about accepting that sort of thing too, our school even has a LGBT club and Gay-Straight Alliance club. The only people who are against it are a select few mormons who go to my school, but nobody gives a **** what they think.

I myself am bisexual. ^^b


----------



## Juicebox

YanoShigun said:


> Several of my friends are gay or bisexual, and one is transgender. I'm really glad most of the other people at my school are so chill about accepting that sort of thing too, our school even has a LGBT club and Gay-Straight Alliance club. The only people who are against it are a select few mormons who go to my school, but nobody gives a **** what they think.
> 
> I myself am bisexual. ^^b



The mormons were actually pretty chill at my school, although there were that select few that ruined it for the rest of them. The kids who didn't like it were all the stereotypical jock/bully trope. So they hurt some people's feelings, but I didn't like any of them enough to give a crap.


----------



## Juicebox

I'm sorry for the double post, but I'm afraid of this thread becoming inactive, and I need someone to answer some questions for me.

I'm currently working on a screenplay, and one of the characters is a straight male, but he also happens to do drag. If any of you on the boards does drag, I would love it if you would answer some questions for me.
1. Why do you enjoy doing drag?
2. If there was a storyline about drag, would you prefer the hobby to be central to the character, or a casual quirk?
3. Would it be considered too odd for the character to be straight, but also have this as a hobby?

If you answer these questions, it would be a huge help!


----------



## oath2order

Fox Failed. I love that story.


----------



## Micah

K, I'm gonna try coming out to my mom in the next few weeks if I can ever get her alone. I'm not sure whether to write her a letter or do it face to face. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Er, my family's pretty religious so it could be really awkward face to face.


----------



## oath2order

Micah said:


> K, I'm gonna try coming out to my mom in the next few weeks if I can ever get her alone. I'm not sure whether to write her a letter or do it face to face. Does anyone have any suggestions?
> 
> Er, my family's pretty religious so it could be really awkward face to face.



Describe your family. What religion? What branch of said religion? How much is pretty religious? Is your mother somewhat open-minded on some things? Do you know anything about their position on homosexuality?


----------



## Bacon Boy

Thing is, it really depends on what they're like. Are they the kind of parents that understand or are they the intolerable parents that really don't like anything other than what they've taught you. And I know this isn't the same thing, but if you knew my family, then you'd understand; it was extremely hard for me to tell my parents that I am a Libertarian. If you knew me before I actually thought on my own, you caught a glimpse of what my parents were like. It was super hard for me to tell them because my dad isn't exactly the most... understanding guy in the world. It would be a great ideas to start with the parent that tends to understand you more and tends to be more calm. Also, it would help to know the stuff that oath is asking, as well, so we can get a better pulse on what they're like and whether or not it would be a good idea.


----------



## Dustbunnii

Micah said:


> K, I'm gonna try coming out to my mom in the next few weeks if I can ever get her alone. I'm not sure whether to write her a letter or do it face to face. Does anyone have any suggestions?
> 
> Er, my family's pretty religious so it could be really awkward face to face.



It really just depends on how open-minded they are.
One of my friends (who is lesbian and not Christian) has a mother who is Christian, and her mom was very much ok with it when she came out; she's very open-minded and also thinks that hating on people for being gay or another religion is the total opposite of what the Bible wants people to do.... 
So it really just depends on how open they are to the idea.

As for how to come out to your mom, just do whatever is the most comfortable for you. If you think it could get awkward face-to-face, then I would leave her a note or something like that. That's just me though.
I wish you the best of luck


----------



## Juicebox

Also, you have to remember that it's going to be weird for them too. So if they start asking offensive sounding questions or acting strange and silent around you, don't take offense. If your parents accept you, that's great, but you also may have to accept the fact that they may not know how to accept you just yet. Work with each other and the changes that have been made with the family. In time, they will be used to it and will achieve full tolerance.


----------



## Jas0n

Writing notes is a terrible idea, no matter how awkward or bad you think it'll go, she'll respect you a lot more if you say it to her face.


----------



## Juicebox

Jas0n said:


> Writing notes is a terrible idea, no matter how awkward or bad you think it'll go, she'll respect you a lot more if you say it to her face.



To be fair, I wrote a note and it turned out okay. It's nice if you leave it in the morning, and then go to work/school for a couple of hours so that your parents can have a little bit of time to think it over. If you confront them with it automatically could incite a fight almost instantly, while a note gives them time to calm down about the whole thing. When you get home, then you can have the full discussion, whatever that may be.

Everyone's parents are going to respond different, and every person coming out is different. There isn't one right way to come out, so long as you talk about it at some point.


----------



## Garrett x50 cal




----------



## oath2order

Garrett x50 cal said:


>



This would probably not be a good way to come out to anyone's parents.


----------



## Jas0n

Juicebox said:


> To be fair, I wrote a note and it turned out okay. It's nice if you leave it in the morning, and then go to work/school for a couple of hours so that your parents can have a little bit of time to think it over. If you confront them with it automatically could incite a fight almost instantly, while a note gives them time to calm down about the whole thing. When you get home, then you can have the full discussion, whatever that may be.
> 
> Everyone's parents are going to respond different, and every person coming out is different. There isn't one right way to come out, so long as you talk about it at some point.



Possibly, but I feel that by leaving a note you're showing them that you're not comfortable and confident with who you are.


----------



## Juicebox

Jas0n said:


> Possibly, but I feel that by leaving a note you're showing them that you're not comfortable and confident with who you are.



It depends on the wording. I agree that you shouldn't just leave an "I'M GAY", without any kind of context. But some people speak stronger with written word than they do with spoken word, which was my case. Some people simply communicate better through writing, and you should always go with your strongest medium for something so delicate.


----------



## Micah

Well, my parents are extremely conservative. I wouldn't even dream of telling my dad until I'm out on my own and can support myself. I'm pretty sure my mom already knows (she's asked me about it before), but I don't know how she'd take it. She's a bit more open minded than by dad, but not much. After some crying, I think she might turn out okay with it, but there's always the chance she'll tell my dad even if I ask her not to.


----------



## Juicebox

Micah said:


> Well, my parents are extremely conservative. I wouldn't even dream of telling my dad until I'm out on my own and can support myself. I'm pretty sure my mom already knows (she's asked me about it before), but I don't know how she'd take it. She's a bit more open minded than by dad, but not much. After some crying, I think she might turn out okay with it, but there's always the chance she'll tell my dad even if I ask her not to.


If she's aware that your father will kick you out, I'm sure that she'll keep quiet about it. To be safe, remind her that it will take more time for your dad to accept it. I know what it's like to not have a parent take it too well, as my mom didn't at first. You just have to have to let them get used to the idea slowly, which sometimes means telling your parents at different paces.


----------



## Garrett x50 cal

oath2order said:


> This would probably not be a good way to come out to anyone's parents.


----------



## monochrome

Garrett x50 cal said:


>


I agree that this is probably not the best way to come out but i totally would have come out this way had i had the chance.

on a completely different note, i believe the same as juicebox in the way that there are several ways to do it and there is no "wrong" or "right" way to do it. one thing i might want to caution people about is not taking TOO long past when your parents begin to suspect to come out. My mother is probably the nosiest person I've ever met so shortly after she began suspecting it she forced it out of me before i was emotionally and mentally ready to accept it myself. its bad that i was unprepared mentally at that time, but she took away the control and organization of the situation that i might have had if i had presented my parents with it myself. So, under no circumstances should you do it until you are ready, but you should be conscious that the alibi of straightness you're going under is also a ticking time bomb.


Honestly, to the board member that thinks telling one parent could get them kicked out fo the house, I'd say you're better off not revealing just yet--at least not until you have a job and a place to live. OR at least know someone who would be confident with housing you long-term, like a partner or best friend. there are services and places that can help people in this situation who are at risk of being homeless because of their sexual orientation but the problem is there is so little supply for them.

id say no matter what wait until you are secure mentally and physically (housing etc) before you go dropping a bomb on people who may be very effective because of their rigid lifestyle.


----------



## rachiewease

Micah if your mum has already asked you then it probably won't come as a massive shock to her. I think face to face is probably better than a note. Its not an easy conversation and I hope it goes ok for you.


----------



## oath2order

Where is that picture from anyways?

And yeah, if she already asked...well...


----------



## Garrett x50 cal

oath2order said:


> Where is that picture from anyways?
> 
> And yeah, if she already asked...well...







One Piece


----------



## oath2order

So, what do ya'll think of this court case? I think DOMA is going to be repealed, though I don't know if they're going to go as far enough to make gay marriage country-wide legal.


----------



## Jas0n

oath2order said:


> So, what do ya'll think of this court case? I think DOMA is going to be repealed, though I don't know if they're going to go as far enough to make gay marriage country-wide legal.



Can't say I've really been too interested in it. As much as gay marriage should be allowed just for the sake of equality, I don't particularly care for marriage in general. I think the world would be better off if people were fighting for the removal of the marriage system rather than the expansion of it.


----------



## Bacon Boy

I think that if people want separation of church and state, then this should be a nonissue. Marriage is a religious institution. I honestly think it should be allowed, but left up to the people individually. Equality shouldn't be an issue. If they want to get married, it shouldn't have to be made legal. The government shouldn't have any hand in it anyways.


----------



## PapaNer

oath2order said:


> So, what do ya'll think of this court case? I think DOMA is going to be repealed, though I don't know if they're going to go as far enough to make gay marriage country-wide legal.



I think everything is going to turn in favor of equality of marriage.  I mean, I don't know how anyone is seriously claiming that other people in love getting married is going to negatively affect their lives.

I've never had a problem with my sexuality or the sexuality of others.  It's plain cruel to concentrate someone (or in this case, a giant group of people) to what they prefer behind closed doors.  None of my homosexual friends are just a constant manifestation of sex, they're just people.

If it doesn't happen now, it will soon.


----------



## Octavia

PapaNer said:


> I mean, I don't know how anyone is seriously claiming that other people in love getting married is going to negatively affect their lives.
> 
> I've never had a problem with my sexuality or the sexuality of others.  It's plain cruel to concentrate someone (or in this case, a giant group of people) to what they prefer behind closed doors.



Unfortunately, ignorance is a thing and so is bad grammar. 


Spoiler: hit the books, buddy



























I guess they feel entitled in deciding the fate of someone else's happiness.


----------



## Bambi

Octavia said:


> He still gets them every month and uses them as emergency puppy pads for the dogs.



HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS!!!

Those pictures are ridiculous. Those girls need to find something better to do with their time. Of course we all wouldn't be here without a man and a woman but guess what.... Think of how many children who are in need of homes are adopted by gay couples. Since we are already here we need to be free to choose how we live our lives. Who's ****ing business is it who we love/marry? Definitely shouldn't be the governments business. Or those girls pictured above. 

"We as young people need parents for so many things"

DUH. Guess what, having two dads or two moms still means you have parents. How many single moms and dads are out there? Especially single moms or dads who were in a relationship with someone who was gay and had to break up when they finally came out. Instead of making it a big deal in the first place isn't it better to be able BE WHO YOU ARE right from the beginning!!! 

"Cause its the right thing, I can't see myself being with a woman. Ewwwww."

So then don't be with a woman! Just because you can't see yourself being with a woman doesn't mean other people can't. No woman wants you anyways.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/03/18/peds.2013-0376.abstract


----------



## Officer Berri

Man I facepalmed so hard at those things they wrote. I had to read the first one a few times to understand what it was saying though. ._.

Drives me up the wall when I hear the "it's a sin therefore the government shouldn't set up laws giving gay marriage the same rights as other marriages!" argument. Separation of Church and State exists, people. Marriage is only religious when you have the ceremony in a church. Marriage in the eyes of the law is simply a legal status that gives a couple rights when it comes to their money, taxes, hospital visitations and other such things. You can have a marriage without a church, but you can't have a church marriage without singing papers to have that marriage viewed as official in the eyes of the law.

Guess which one gay couples care about more? They want the rights that straight couples already have. They don't care if your church won't get them married. The big problem for them is that the states will not allow them to sign those papers and be officially married in the eyes of the law, thereby denying them the rights straight married couples enjoy like being able to see their significant other if they're in the hospital!

If you haven't noticed, I'm on the side of equality. >>


----------



## Juicebox

I actually have a friend who was recently adopted by two men. The boy himself is a homosexual, and has basically been living his life as being bounced around from being abused by his real parents, to being either abused or neglected by his foster parents. He somehow ended up living with his fathers, perhaps through the foster system (I don't know how they would allow gay men to be foster parents, because that seems like the kind of stupid thing that would get the bible belt up in arms). But regardless, my friend ended up with them. Even though he is fourteen, the two men still adopted him. They love him unconditionally, and my friend has never been happier in his whole life.

Honestly, how can anyone say that gays are by default the worst parents?


----------



## oath2order

I know, that's such a joke. Same-sex couples actually WANT the children. By default, that makes them good parents.


----------



## PapaNer

Octavia said:


> Unfortunately, ignorance is a thing and so is bad grammar.



As are poor manners


----------



## Schim

Juicebox said:


> I actually have a friend who was recently adopted by two men. The boy himself is a homosexual, and has basically been living his life as being bounced around from being abused by his real parents, to being either abused or neglected by his foster parents. He somehow ended up living with his fathers, perhaps through the foster system (I don't know how they would allow gay men to be foster parents, because that seems like the kind of stupid thing that would get the bible belt up in arms). But regardless, my friend ended up with them. Even though he is fourteen, the two men still adopted him. They love him unconditionally, and my friend has never been happier in his whole life.
> 
> Honestly, how can anyone say that gays are by default the worst parents?



I'm glad to hear that he ended up in a happy home. It's nice to hear stories like that with happy endings.


----------



## Octavia

PapaNer said:


> As are poor manners



I'm guessing you thought the "bad grammar" comment was directed towards you? I'm sorry for not being clear if that's the case. It was meant for those atrocious signs.


----------



## oath2order

Oh dear, let's not have a fight on this thread :/


----------



## AmenFashion

oath2order said:


> Oh dear, let's not have a fight on this thread :/



It hardly looks like a fight, don't worry.

I never understood people that try to say they need a male and a female to produce kids as an opposition for same sex marriage... I mean, since when does allowing a small percentage of America to get married cancel out all of the male-female couples having children? There's plenty of children being produced, and by couples who don't even want them!


----------



## PapaNer

Octavia said:


> I'm guessing you thought the "bad grammar" comment was directed towards you? I'm sorry for not being clear if that's the case. It was meant for those atrocious signs.



No no no!  I was also commenting about the signs, but I hate having LONG quotes.  I was not trying to start a mess


----------



## Bambi

AmenFashion said:


> It hardly looks like a fight, don't worry.
> 
> I never understood people that try to say they need a male and a female to produce kids as an opposition for same sex marriage... I mean, since when does allowing a small percentage of America to get married cancel out all of the male-female couples having children? There's plenty of children being produced, and by couples who don't even want them!



If anything there are already TOO many children being produced and can't be properly taken care of. Like all the children in foster care etc.

Like we need MORE kids on this planet (not that I don't want one) but come ON. Grown a$$ people who choose to spend their life together deserve AT LEAST to be able to have the same rights as opposite sex couples.

Bottom line is there IS NO ARGUMENT against gay marriage. There just isn't. Anytime I hear any of the arguments, they come across as completely ignorant and uneducated.


----------



## Jas0n

Bambi said:


> If anything there are already TOO many children being produced and can't be properly taken care of. Like all the children in foster care etc.
> 
> Like we need MORE kids on this planet (not that I don't want one) but come ON. Grown a$$ people who choose to spend their life together deserve AT LEAST to be able to have the same rights as opposite sex couples.
> 
> Bottom line is there IS NO ARGUMENT against gay marriage. There just isn't. Anytime I hear any of the arguments, they come across as completely ignorant and uneducated.



My argument against gay marriage is just because of the heteronormative standards it's supposed to be abide by to be accepted. I think if it's to be "allowed" gay couples shouldn't have to be within society's view of a "normal gay couple" to be a part of that society. There are plenty of groups that are still being cast out if gay marriage is made legal.

But regardless, I suppose it's a step. I'm just not sure if gay couples abiding by heteronormative standards is a right or a wrong step. Of course, I have nothing against heteronormative gay couples if that's what they truly are but I feel like many are being forced into being society's perfect gay couple to prove themselves so they can be allowed these rights.


----------



## Bambi

Jas0n said:


> My argument against gay marriage is just because of the heteronormative standards it's supposed to be abide by to be accepted. I think if it's to be "allowed" gay couples shouldn't have to be within society's view of a "normal gay couple" to be a part of that society. There are plenty of groups that are still being cast out if gay marriage is made legal.
> 
> But regardless, I suppose it's a step. I'm just not sure if gay couples abiding by heteronormative standards is a right or a wrong step. Of course, I have nothing against heteronormative gay couples if that's what they truly are but I feel like many are being forced into being society's perfect gay couple to prove themselves so they can be allowed these rights.



I don't know what you mean by having to be a "normal gay couple?"


----------



## Jas0n

Bambi said:


> I don't know what you mean by having to be a "normal gay couple?"



Well, take for example a trans male who's with another male. That would still be a gay couple, but it isn't a normal gay couple and therefore not accepted.

Aside from that and on lesser extremes gay couples seem to be expected to abide by "male" and "female" gender roles. One is supposed to be the female in the relationship and the other the male. If both are feminine or masculine it isn't a normal gay couple and therefore not accepted either.

And one that applies to me. I'm a bisexual male, the bisexual identity isn't widely accepted as it is but when you put that into terms of a relationship it's even less accepted. If I wanted to marry another male I would be cast out both by straight people and gay people because it isn't "normal", not abiding heteronormative nor homonormative standards.


----------



## Bambi

But if gay marriage is passed wouldn't it be allowed for a trans male with another male and so on?? Basically I mean to have the same rights as straight married couples. Like even though your bisexual and you marry a guy, the government doesn't know that so I don't see why it wouldn't be accepted. Or two masculine women getting married. It wouldn't be up to the government to pick an choose would it? I mean doesn't marriage equality just mean ok men can marry men, women can marry women and men can marry women.

And whether or not that man marrying a man was once a woman has nothing to do with the fact that it is still a man marrying a man right?


----------



## Jas0n

Bambi said:


> But if gay marriage is passed wouldn't it be allowed for a trans male with another male and so on?? Basically I mean to have the same rights as straight married couples. Like even though your bisexual and you marry a guy, the government doesn't know that so I don't see why it wouldn't be accepted. Or two masculine women getting married. It wouldn't be up to the government to pick an choose would it? I mean doesn't marriage equality just mean ok men can marry men, women can marry women and men can marry women.
> 
> And whether or not that man marrying a man was once a woman has nothing to do with the fact that it is still a man marrying a man right?



But why is gay marriage being passed in the first place? Because gays have proven they can abide by these norms and others are pressured into also abiding by these to be accepted in society. I don't think that's the right way to go about things.


----------



## the_bria

is that why it's being passed?  i thought it was because people are starting to realize that if you want to marry the person you love, you should be able to, no matter if it's a same sex relationship or not.


----------



## the_bria

oh, and for those of you saying you don't know any asexuals, i'm asexual.  well, a romantic one, as they call it.  i like being in relationships, but i don't like the whole sex thing.  kissing is fine but anything else is a thanks but no thanks situation for me.  lol.  at the same time, i also find both men and woman attractive.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Jas0n said:


> But why is gay marriage being passed in the first place? Because gays have proven they can abide by these norms and others are pressured into also abiding by these to be accepted in society. I don't think that's the right way to go about things.



I think you are over thinking the whole thing. Gays just want to get married because they want to get married. There really shouldn't be a law preventing this but there is because for whatever reason nobody can understand that maybe people have different preferences on who they want to love.


----------



## Cinnabunnie

Lovemcqueen said:


> I think you are over thinking the whole thing. Gays just want to get married because they want to get married. There really shouldn't be a law preventing this but there is because for whatever reason nobody can understand that maybe people have different preferences on who they want to love.



I completely agree with you, it's unfair that they should be discriminated against simply because they are following their hearts. It's more than that though, when a marriage isn't recognized by law there are consequences. They don't have access to the basic rights from a legalized marriage, including hospital visitation rights, tax benefits, health coverage, inheritance in case one partner passes away, and much more. So some gay couples aren't fighting for the legalization of gay marriage simply because they want to be recognized, it's a much bigger issue. 

I'm not LGBTQA but some of my best friends are, and honestly they are some of the nicest, funniest, awesome people I've ever met. I don't understand why some people have this stigma against LGBTQA, as far as I'm concerned they're as normal as you or the next person are.


----------



## oath2order

the_bria said:


> is that why it's being passed?  i thought it was because people are starting to realize that if you want to marry the person you love, you should be able to, no matter if it's a same sex relationship or not.



That's what Jason thinks at any rate.


----------



## Lauren

You should be entitled to marry anyone! Whether it be girl girl, guy guy and guy girl! I mean if I women can marry a car, ***** please! You should be able to marry someone with the same genitalia! The subject makes me mad, I hate homophobic people! Huff!


----------



## Jas0n

oath2order said:


> That's what Jason thinks at any rate.



I think you're kidding yourself if you think gay marriage being passed is because it's widely accepted. Besides, I said before that regardless of everything it should still be passed simply because of the rights aspect. That doesn't change things in the aspect of social acceptance though and I think it would be better if gay marriage was being passed under better circumstances. I've seen plenty of people that "support" gay marriage still be against a lot of sexual and gender preferences that don't abide by the norms and plenty that support it to your face but behind your backs they will be extremely homophobic in general.

Let's take Dan Savage for example, widely known as one of the biggest gay rights activists and the leader of the "It Gets Better" campaign but in reality he's a huge dick. He's sexist, cissexist, anti-asexual, anti-bisexual, racist, etc. If someone who's actively fighting for gay rights can be that against people in the LGBT and other communities it doesn't take a lot to imagine what a lot of straight people who support gay rights think.


----------



## oath2order

Not widely, but there are more in favor of it then not.


----------



## Solar

You see, I'm 14 and I was teased at school by being called gay (I know it's not an insult but that's how they were using it.) and now  I'm confused...I don't know whether I'm gay or straight...and it's really frustrating just not knowing...I just wish I knew.. Do you guys know what I could do to make sure? I just don't know what to do...


----------



## Jas0n

Benmjy said:


> You see, I'm 14 and I was teased at school by being called gay (I know it's not an insult but that's how they were using it.) and now  I'm confused...I don't know whether I'm gay or straight...and it's really frustrating just not knowing...I just wish I knew.. Do you guys know what I could do to make sure? I just don't know what to do...



You're 14, you don't need to know. Stop trying to put yourself into a box and be what you are and ignore what other people say.


----------



## the_bria

Jas0n said:


> You're 14, you don't need to know. Stop trying to put yourself into a box and be what you are and ignore what other people say.


exactly.  you'll figure it out as you go along.  if your not sure, then don't be afraid to give both guys and girls a chance.  you'll know when your attracted to a person or not.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Benmjy said:


> You see, I'm 14 and I was teased at school by being called gay (I know it's not an insult but that's how they were using it.) and now  I'm confused...I don't know whether I'm gay or straight...and it's really frustrating just not knowing...I just wish I knew.. Do you guys know what I could do to make sure? I just don't know what to do...



Same thing happened to me. Only it started younger, way before kids should even know what gay or the bad F word means.


----------



## Micah

I figured out my sexuality at 17, and many people figure it out much later in life. There's no rush.


----------



## Juicebox

Benmjy said:


> You see, I'm 14 and I was teased at school by being called gay (I know it's not an insult but that's how they were using it.) and now  I'm confused...I don't know whether I'm gay or straight...and it's really frustrating just not knowing...I just wish I knew.. Do you guys know what I could do to make sure? I just don't know what to do...



Yeah, my advice is to make good friends and see what you like more. Find out which gender you prefer to be surrounded by, and start there. It isn't foolproof, but it's a good start.

But as others said, there's no rush. It's actually pretty common to have bisexual feelings at the age of fourteen, and have it lead nowhere. Just ignore those bullies and do what comes naturally.


----------



## Solar

Thank you for the advice guys! It makes me feel better! 



> Yeah, my advice is to make good friends and see what you like more. Find out which gender you prefer to be surrounded by, and start there. It isn't foolproof, but it's a good start.
> 
> But as others said, there's no rush. It's actually pretty common to have bisexual feelings at the age of fourteen, and have it lead nowhere. Just ignore those bullies and do what comes naturally.



I always hang around girls, all the time, if that makes a difference? :/ I'm a dude by the way...If anyone didn't know


----------



## Jas0n

Benmjy said:


> I always hang around girls, all the time, if that makes a difference? :/ I'm a dude by the way...If anyone didn't know



I wouldn't say that's accurate. People you like to hang out with aren't necessarily the people you'd like to date.


----------



## Solar

Jas0n said:


> I wouldn't say that's accurate. People you like to hang out with aren't necessarily the people you'd like to date.



I guess so -_-...Ugh, so much frustration.


----------



## Juicebox

I guess I should explain more. It isn't so much the people you hang out with, it's the people you really, really want to hang out with.

Think about the girl you "like" and the boy you "like". Now if you were given a choice to hang out with only one of them, which would you choose?

Once again, this is in no way foolproof. It's pretty much only useful if it becomes a consistent pattern over a long period of time, and even then it's hardly a sure thing. It was just something I personally noticed in myself. I always blew off my guy friends in favor of girls I didn't know as well simply because they were girls. I would also go to parties and stuff if I knew that a girl I was interested in was going to the party as well, even though I initially wouldn't have gone. But everyone is different in their attractions.


----------



## Aloha

I'm not gay but i'll support it to a certain extent.If you have to bring god into it,that's when i draw the line...


----------



## Bambi

Benmjy said:


> I guess so -_-...Ugh, so much frustration.



A good way to figure it out is what gender do you "fantasize" about. If it's both then its both. Totally normal to have bisexual feelings at a younger age. ALSO at an older age. I started having bisexual feelings at 12 years old and they never went away! 

Don't try to fit yourself into a labelled little box. Let yourself drift around in the gray areas and enjoy it  Try your best to ignore the bullies at school. I know it can be hard but school isn't forever. Usually the "bullied" live more successful lives anway.


----------



## oath2order

Bambi said:


> A good way to figure it out is what gender do you "fantasize" about. If it's both then its both. Totally normal to have bisexual feelings at a younger age. ALSO at an older age. I started having bisexual feelings at 12 years old and they never went away!
> 
> Don't try to fit yourself into a labelled little box. Let yourself drift around in the gray areas and enjoy it  Try your best to ignore the bullies at school. I know it can be hard but school isn't forever. Usually the "bullied" live more successful lives anway.



True that!


----------



## GodheadMarket

I've always sort of hated how people try to fit me into this sort of box because of my sexuality. I'm female, I like girly things, and I date girls. It's really that simple to me, but other people seem to think my sexuality doesn't deserve to be taken seriously because I don't fit the common lesbian stereotype. Or when I do, say I'm dressing in some athletic clothes or something, then it has to be some point of discussion. Doesn't it make more since that liking girly things would lead to me liking girly people, anyway? Haha, I'm kidding, but policing who people identify as just isn't cool. Also, I wish we could talk about considering romantic and sexual attraction different things, as it's very interesting.


----------



## Jas0n

GodheadMarket said:


> Also, I wish we could talk about considering romantic and sexual attraction different things, as it's very interesting.



Romantic and sexual attraction are interesting for me, being bisexual. Initially when I meet someone I like I tend to feel more of a romantic attraction towards girls and sexual attraction towards guys and as I get to know them things expand from there. Not sure why but it's interesting that my attraction to each gender differs so much!


----------



## Juicebox

GodheadMarket said:


> I've always sort of hated how people try to fit me into this sort of box because of my sexuality. I'm female, I like girly things, and I date girls. It's really that simple to me, but other people seem to think my sexuality doesn't deserve to be taken seriously because I don't fit the common lesbian stereotype. Or when I do, say I'm dressing in some athletic clothes or something, then it has to be some point of discussion. Doesn't it make more since that liking girly things would lead to me liking girly people, anyway? Haha, I'm kidding, but policing who people identify as just isn't cool. Also, I wish we could talk about considering romantic and sexual attraction different things, as it's very interesting.



True that! I'm a girly girl, but my sexuality is always called into question. It makes me sad too, because most of the lesbians I know lean towards more butch not because they enjoy it, but because they get tired of people always questioning them. It's really rather sad that they have to feel that way.

I have nothing against butch girls, don't get me wrong. Everyone should just have the right to dress and act how they want without being questioned.


And I wish romantic and attraction were talked about differently. I'm actually a pretty romantic person (somewhat secretly) but since many of the lesbians in my area aren't my type, I never get to be romantic. I hope that when I do find a girl, she's a fan of romantic gestures, because there is going to be a lot of them.


----------



## gorgonara

Juicebox said:


> True that! I'm a girly girl, but my sexuality is always called into question. It makes me sad too, because most of the lesbians I know lean towards more butch not because they enjoy it, but because they get tired of people always questioning them. It's really rather sad that they have to feel that way.
> 
> I have nothing against butch girls, don't get me wrong. Everyone should just have the right to dress and act how they want without being questioned.
> 
> 
> And I wish romantic and attraction were talked about differently. I'm actually a pretty romantic person (somewhat secretly) but since many of the lesbians in my area aren't my type, I never get to be romantic. I hope that when I do find a girl, she's a fan of romantic gestures, because there is going to be a lot of them.



There was this hyper-masculine gay guy who went to my school and he had this huge beef with me being effeminate and androgynous. Because apparently I was "acting gay", and pretending and being attention seeking and I made "normal" gays like him look bad. And being a feminine queer dude i am instantly tagged with being loud, rude and immature.

i ended up headbutting him because when talking to a princess talk smack get smacked ya feel

B'yeah and Im also kind of sick of white breeder girls making sweeping assumptions about me. Like they was aghast at the idea that I can find trans guys and some tomboys attractive. Because apparently vagina's are gay-vampire garlic or something. And then asking me deeply personal questions like im a side-show attraction.


----------



## oath2order

gorgonara said:


> And being a feminine queer dude i am instantly tagged with being loud, rude and immature.
> 
> i ended up headbutting him because when talking to a princess talk smack get smacked ya feel



Gee I wonder why people think you're rude and immature.


----------



## gorgonara

oath2order said:


> Gee I wonder why people think you're rude and immature.



How rude of me to not accept people screaming abuse at my face and calling me a ***.


----------



## oath2order

You're complaining about people treating you like you're immature and rude. No wonder they do that.


----------



## gorgonara

'Kay.


----------



## Ryusaki

I was S, then B, then G now B But yeah, I wanna change to S again?><


----------



## Jas0n

Ryusaki said:


> I was S, then B, then G now B But yeah, I wanna change to S again?><



It'd help if you stopped trying to put yourself into a box


----------



## gorgonara

Jas0n said:


> It'd help if you stopped trying to put yourself into a box



dont police identification


----------



## WhitneyLeigh23

Bacon Boy said:


> Well, I'm a Christian. And I don't see why people hate on LGBT people. It's their life, let them live it. I'm for equal rights for everyone, even though I'm straight myself. And literally, my thought process changed thanks to TBT. So whee!



sorry if this is too early of a reply to reply, but yea I'm with you. I'm a Christian, and personally straight myself, but I have no problem with LGBT because it's your life, and you should live it how you want. even the bible says to love everyone and that God loves everyone, so yea. Christians who take everything to the extreme about LGBT and are against it, are doing it wrong.
In my personal opinion!


----------



## Wish

I don't believe in labels, you are what you are and why do you need to restrict yourself under a title?

I am not sure what I am yet, I might be pansexual? But again, I don't like to place titles
I fully support it though, and if someone is against it, it is fine. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but if someone has the right to believe that it is wrong, then we have the right to say that it's okay.

Goes both ways... You can't really be mad at someone for believing what they do y'know?
As long as they don't shove their beliefs down my throat like a giant dick I am fine 0: - )


----------



## gorgonara

Litwick said:


> I don't believe in labels, you are what you are and why do you need to restrict yourself under a title



I kinda agree, I think people get hung up WAY too much on specific terms, like nether your gay or straight or whatever and it stresses them out too much to be healthy. And I think sexuality totally can change over time, and that its a fluid kind of thing and there will always be exceptions.

*But* labels are important in that they easily allow me to explain briefly, and not in-depth to new people what I like, you know? And as a minority my queer-ness is also a pretty big part of my identity, so as easy and fun as it is to say "Screw sexuality be free you flower child!", actually no, I wear my sexuality like a badge because i get pooped on a lot for it. And its important for me as a minority to have a strong, bold sense of identity against the oppressive breeder horde.


----------



## Jas0n

Despite the violent rioting, gay marriage has passed in France!


----------



## Bambi

Jas0n said:


> Despite the violent rioting, gay marriage has passed in France!



Horray!!!  Do you have a link??


----------



## Jas0n

Bambi said:


> Horray!!!  Do you have a link??



http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-22261494

It really baffles me that this is still in debate. More countries should hurry along and do it!


----------



## oath2order

I have news!

R.I. senate Republicans unanimously support marriage equality bill. The Republicans support it.

Also, you forgot to mention that French bill allows adoption too


----------



## Bambi

Jas0n said:


> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-22261494
> 
> It really baffles me that this is still in debate. More countries should hurry along and do it!



Thank you!!! I agree! It isn't a debatable thing for all human beings to have equal rights  Still a step in the right direction.


----------



## gorgonara

Bambi said:


> Thank you!!! I agree! It isn't a debatable thing for all human beings to have equal rights  Still a step in the right direction.



I think its flat out dumb that governments even have laws around marriage. A traditionally religious ceremony about interpersonal relationships. Like government should be secular first of all, and secondly why do they care 'bout who I'm bonin'? And now the law causes all a hoot-nannious myriad of problems from poly-amorous people and queers.


----------



## Kyle

gorgonara said:


> I think its flat out dumb that governments even have laws around marriage. A traditionally religious ceremony about interpersonal relationships. Like government should be secular first of all, and secondly why do they care 'bout who I'm bonin'? And now the law causes all a hoot-nannious myriad of problems from poly-amorous people and queers.


Well, because most laws get their basis from religions. Despite the separation of church and state, it is still to be expected if the people who wrote the laws in the first place mostly Christian.
Obviously things are different now and we still need to officially make the jump, but just imagine how much worse it was decades ago when same sex relations were considered in general - in the eyes of the law - illegal under the name of sodomy.


----------



## Cottonball

If you?re gay, that?s cool
If you?re a lesbian, that?s cool
If you?re asexual, that?s cool
If you?re bisexual, that?s cool
If you?re pansexual, that?s cool
If you?re straight, that?s cool
If you?re not sure, that?s cool


If you hate on somebody for their sexuality, f you....


----------



## Eirynfox

hi


----------



## oath2order

Eirynfox said:


> hi



Hey there!


----------



## Eirynfox

oath2order said:


> Hey there!



Hows things  nice to see we have a thread like this here to enjoy.


----------



## Aurynn

Cottonball said:


> If you?re gay, that?s cool
> If you?re a lesbian, that?s cool
> If you?re asexual, that?s cool
> If you?re bisexual, that?s cool
> If you?re pansexual, that?s cool
> If you?re straight, that?s cool
> If you?re not sure, that?s cool
> 
> 
> If you hate on somebody for their sexuality, f you....


Haha nice :3

I am gay and I like it. People are who they are and if people hate it.. *sigh*


----------



## tigereyes86

WhitneyLeigh23 said:


> sorry if this is too early of a reply to reply, but yea I'm with you. I'm a Christian, and personally straight myself, but I have no problem with LGBT because it's your life, and you should live it how you want. even the bible says to love everyone and that God loves everyone, so yea. Christians who take everything to the extreme about LGBT and are against it, are doing it wrong.
> In my personal opinion!



Aw, this and Bacon Boy (greeeat username!) is lovely to see.  I see so much hate from the Christian community towards this over here and it saddens me.  I'm straight and an atheist and have a problem with no-one (be it beliefs whether religious or moral, or LGBT, or colour etc, you get it) but when I hear religious communities up in arms against things, I feel that it somewhat contradicts what they're meant to believe in.  It teaches forgiveness, tolerance, peace, but all the hate I see doesn't fit with this message.

So you two are a breath of fresh air and it's nice to see this.

To get a little more on topic, I don't see you picking on someone for who they are/what they believe/how they choose to present themselves, so what gives others the right to do it to you?

I also have a question.  I'm kind of...not ignorant, but...uninformed.  I've seen LGBT before, but some of you have added extra letters on the end, what do they stand for?  I just want to understand


----------



## ACCFDude1

I've been bisexual since about second grade(they taught us sex ed in 2nd grade for some reason). When I told my parents there was a lot of screaming, breaking of glasses and plates, and me getting kicked out for the night.


----------



## Aurynn

Dude, that's so depressing =( Are your parents nowadays more accepting?


----------



## Bacon Boy

The thing that pisses me off is when parents say that they will "always love" their kid and then they'll beat them for being gay. That's why my friend hasn't come out to his parents yet or better yet, just come out in general. I wish people would become more open about other people. I understand why he wouldn't want to tell people because I go to a school full of rich, white kids who think they're God's gift to man and anything that doesn't fit in with their idiotic, backwards overly Conservative way of thinking should be burned to the ground.


----------



## oath2order

ACCFDude1 said:


> I've been bisexual since about second grade(they taught us sex ed in 2nd grade for some reason). When I told my parents there was a lot of screaming, breaking of glasses and plates, and me getting kicked out for the night.



...in second grade they kicked you out for the night? wat


----------



## Juicebox

ACCFDude1 said:


> I've been bisexual since about second grade(they taught us sex ed in 2nd grade for some reason). When I told my parents there was a lot of screaming, breaking of glasses and plates, and me getting kicked out for the night.



Wow, that's awful. It's strange how they addressed sexuality at all though. In my High School, they didn't even discuss homosexuality because the parents would have been up in arms about it.

Then again, I am from Idaho. Not exactly a gay-friendly state.


----------



## Ashtot

I am also a christian, and what I'm about to say could offend you, but I enjoy sharing and discussing these kinds of things. 

*I don't agree with homosexuality, etc. but this does not affect the way I think about people that are homosexual, bisexual, etc. I have no reason to hate them, and I don't see why religious groups, especially Christians, slander, and basically show complete hate towards them.* It's not up to me to make somebody's choices for them, and it's not my job to judge them. Somebody being homosexual will not affect my interaction or relationship with them.

Truthfully, the reason Christian's always seem to contradict themselves in what they believe, is because they have no idea what they believe. Most Christian's literally never even open a Bible, which leads to them believing only what they're minister/pastor says, instead of actually reading it, and processing and making decisions on their own based upon what they read. The Christian faith is built upon the Bible, and love. Somehow Christians seem to disregard this, and I know I definitely need to spend more time studying the Bible, but ignoring it completely contradicts any Christian faith.

Christians need to actually practice the teachings in the Bible, otherwise, what's the point?

I feel terrible for those of you that have been torn apart and have lived your life facing hate, loneliness, and everything else that comes with being different. I hope I haven't said something that I didn't mean to say, It's hard for me to process things sometimes.


----------



## the_bria

You said:


> I am also a christian, and what I'm about to say could offend you, but I enjoy sharing and discussing these kinds of things.
> 
> *I don't agree with homosexuality, etc. but this does not affect the way I think about people that are homosexual, bisexual, etc. I have no reason to hate them, and I don't see why religious groups, especially Christians, slander, and basically show complete hate towards them.* It's not up to me to make somebody's choices for them, and it's not my job to judge them. Somebody being homosexual will not affect my interaction or relationship with them.
> 
> Truthfully, the reason Christian's always seem to contradict themselves in what they believe, is because they have no idea what they believe. Most Christian's literally never even open a Bible, which leads to them believing only what they're minister/pastor says, instead of actually reading it, and processing and making decisions on their own based upon what they read. The Christian faith is built upon the Bible, and love. Somehow Christians seem to disregard this, and I know I definitely need to spend more time studying the Bible, but ignoring it completely contradicts any Christian faith.
> 
> Christians need to actually practice the teachings in the Bible, otherwise, what's the point?
> 
> I feel terrible for those of you that have been torn apart and have lived your life facing hate, loneliness, and everything else that comes with being different. I hope I haven't said something that I didn't mean to say, It's hard for me to process things sometimes.


why do you not agree with it?


----------



## Ashtot

the_bria said:


> why do you not agree with it?



My short answer is that It's what I believe, it's in the Bible. If you want to discuss it more into depth, feel free to send me a PM. I don't think me explaining my beliefs will help the purpose of this discussion, and it could create more harm than good, so I'm going to have to leave it at that.


----------



## Stevey Queen

You said:


> I am also a christian, and what I'm about to say could offend you, but I enjoy sharing and discussing these kinds of things.
> 
> *I don't agree with homosexuality, etc. but this does not affect the way I think about people that are homosexual, bisexual, etc. I have no reason to hate them, and I don't see why religious groups, especially Christians, slander, and basically show complete hate towards them.* It's not up to me to make somebody's choices for them, and it's not my job to judge them. Somebody being homosexual will not affect my interaction or relationship with them.
> 
> Truthfully, the reason Christian's always seem to contradict themselves in what they believe, is because they have no idea what they believe. Most Christian's literally never even open a Bible, which leads to them believing only what they're minister/pastor says, instead of actually reading it, and processing and making decisions on their own based upon what they read. The Christian faith is built upon the Bible, and love. Somehow Christians seem to disregard this, and I know I definitely need to spend more time studying the Bible, but ignoring it completely contradicts any Christian faith.
> 
> Christians need to actually practice the teachings in the Bible, otherwise, what's the point?
> 
> I feel terrible for those of you that have been torn apart and have lived your life facing hate, loneliness, and everything else that comes with being different. I hope I haven't said something that I didn't mean to say, It's hard for me to process things sometimes.



This is good because you don't agree with it but you are not telling us how to live either. The world needs more people like this.


----------



## tigereyes86

You, I think that was well worded and I'd be surprised if any real offense was caused (haha your username makes it difficult to word things!).

You're straight to the point, but with reasoning, like I said before, it's refreshing to see someone with a religious belief not be slanderous and preachy (if that's the right phrases to use, it's a difficult one).  You're saying you don't let it affect how you are with them, well great, that's how it should be.  Just because you don't agree, it doesn't mean it would affect a friendship, that's rare when strong beliefs are involved and it's encouraging to see.


----------



## ACCFDude1

Please skip over this, the quote wouldn't work for some reason.


----------



## ACCFDude1

oath2order said:


> ...in second grade they kicked you out for the night? wat


No, I told them a few months ago.


----------



## Stevey Queen

I wrote something and realized I was extremely wrong so I edited and please just forget I was ever here.


----------



## Wish

You said:


> I am also a christian, and what I'm about to say could offend you, but I enjoy sharing and discussing these kinds of things.
> 
> *I don't agree with homosexuality, etc. but this does not affect the way I think about people that are homosexual, bisexual, etc. I have no reason to hate them, and I don't see why religious groups, especially Christians, slander, and basically show complete hate towards them.* It's not up to me to make somebody's choices for them, and it's not my job to judge them. Somebody being homosexual will not affect my interaction or relationship with them.
> 
> Truthfully, the reason Christian's always seem to contradict themselves in what they believe, is because they have no idea what they believe. Most Christian's literally never even open a Bible, which leads to them believing only what they're minister/pastor says, instead of actually reading it, and processing and making decisions on their own based upon what they read. The Christian faith is built upon the Bible, and love. Somehow Christians seem to disregard this, and I know I definitely need to spend more time studying the Bible, but ignoring it completely contradicts any Christian faith.
> 
> Christians need to actually practice the teachings in the Bible, otherwise, what's the point?
> 
> I feel terrible for those of you that have been torn apart and have lived your life facing hate, loneliness, and everything else that comes with being different. I hope I haven't said something that I didn't mean to say, It's hard for me to process things sometimes.



*applaud*
People can have their own beliefs so as long as they don't force everyone to have the same.


----------



## oath2order

ACCFDude1 said:


> No, I told them a few months ago.



The wording made it seem like you told them in second grade. Whatever.



You said:


> I am also a christian, and what I'm about to say could offend you, but I enjoy sharing and discussing these kinds of things.
> 
> *I don't agree with homosexuality, etc. but this does not affect the way I think about people that are homosexual, bisexual, etc. I have no reason to hate them, and I don't see why religious groups, especially Christians, slander, and basically show complete hate towards them.* It's not up to me to make somebody's choices for them, and it's not my job to judge them. Somebody being homosexual will not affect my interaction or relationship with them.



what the **** am I reading, seriously. I'm so confused by this because it's so damn different from what I'm used to hearing. Thank you for being one of the few religious people to not want to impose their beliefs on the rest of us.


----------



## Colour Bandit

Okay, I have a question for a people who have posted on this thread...

What are your opinions on the portrayal of sexuality in the media? (Like in magazines or on TV) And how do you personally respond to these representations?

I'm asking this as my A Level Media Studies exam is about representation and we have a list of themes we may be asked about, sexuality being one of those themes... I want to see this from the view point of someone who doesn't identify themselves as straight as right now I feel my answer would be rather one-sided.


----------



## Bacon Boy

Regardless of sexual orientation, I think sex has lost its sanctity. Bear with me as I may go into preacher boy mode here, but hold off on to your negative comments until the end. I believe that sex is a matter of love between people. However, it's lost that meaning in today's society. Even a decade ago, stuff like infidelity and premarital sex were considered taboo and for a good reason: they're immoral, in my opinion at least. The glorification of such actions, such as how they've been portrayed in the media as of late. In terms of sexual orientation, I think that it gets way too much attention. You're gay, congrats. Why does it have to be made such a big deal? On both sides of the coin—for or against it—it should not be made into such a big publicity stunt or selling point. It's really not that big of a deal that someone is gay. It shouldn't change how you perceive anyone. When my friend came out to me, it really didn't change our friendship. I think if we, you know, just let people do their own thing and stop making a big deal out of it, it'd stop becoming such a taboo and attention whoring topic. I know people that *flaunt* the fact they're gay just to get attention and it pisses me off.


----------



## gorgonara

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> Okay, I have a question for a people who have posted on this thread...
> 
> What are your opinions on the portrayal of sexuality in the media? (Like in magazines or on TV) And how do you personally respond to these representations?
> 
> I'm asking this as my A Level Media Studies exam is about representation and we have a list of themes we may be asked about, sexuality being one of those themes... I want to see this from the view point of someone who doesn't identify themselves as straight as right now I feel my answer would be rather one-sided.



Broad-ass topic but im gonna hack at it. Traditionally we've had a "We're just loike you but gay!" kinda representation of, white, masculine, christian middle class gay men. Who are very much monogamous, cisgender and average. Maybe with a bit of throwback campyness in the mix, because sassy stuff is funny. You can see this in celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, and shows like Modern Family and The New Normal.

Token gay characters, funny, witty, and effeminate, but vapid are common. Such as in School of Rock, or whatever. There's hundreds of em. When written by actual gay men, they actually retain some form of depth and character progression, such as in Ugly Betty or Glee.

Shadier topics and queer history, such as the aid's epidemic, homeless queer youth and mental illness tend to be brushed under the carpet, for the sake of integrating and merging with modern culture. "We're just like you! Please don't throw bricks at us!" Kind of like how with black people, there's this subtle undercurrent, a real insidious nuance to not "act" black. Maybe when your telling a joke, but otherwise never talk differently. Be as socially white as possible.

Really good representation can be seen in stuff like United States of Tara, Lip Service, Hit and Miss, Buffy, the whole Doctor Who/Torchwood universe and Orphan Black. If you want bisexual or Trans representation go home because that stuff is like gold. Generally speaking the BBC and english broadcasting are pretty on top of queer representation, and kind of shine out because of it. With LGBT characters even in daytime soaps.


----------



## gorgonara

Bacon Boy said:


> Regardless of sexual orientation, I think sex has lost its sanctity. Bear with me as I may go into preacher boy mode here, but hold off on to your negative comments until the end. I believe that sex is a matter of love between people. However, it's lost that meaning in today's society. Even a decade ago, stuff like infidelity and premarital sex were considered taboo and for a good reason: they're immoral, in my opinion at least. The glorification of such actions, such as how they've been portrayed in the media as of late.



Go away, if two people want to have orgasms together, and mutually trust each other in a respectful manner, it doesn't remotely concern you. If people want to sleep with a hundred people that's cool. If people want to have kinky weird stuff that's cool, and if you want to enjoy bodies and human natural urges, without emotions attached that's cool. And equally if people want to have one monogamous emotional relationship with one person in a vanilla manner, that's cool too.

You know whats not cool though? Judging and being a douche about the way other people live, and the things they do that make them happy. As long as no-one is being abused, its none of your freaking business.


----------



## Juicebox

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> Okay, I have a question for a people who have posted on this thread...
> 
> What are your opinions on the portrayal of sexuality in the media? (Like in magazines or on TV) And how do you personally respond to these representations?
> 
> I'm asking this as my A Level Media Studies exam is about representation and we have a list of themes we may be asked about, sexuality being one of those themes... I want to see this from the view point of someone who doesn't identify themselves as straight as right now I feel my answer would be rather one-sided.



Frankly, you can tell that we're still in the beginning stages of being represented. Although homosexual characters are being shown more and more, a lot of them are still being portrayed as one-dimensional characters. More often than not, gay character's story arcs only focus on dating and dealing with their sexuality. We basically have gay characters, but we don't have characters that happen to be gay. I desperately want us to take the step into making characters that aren't so focused on their sexuality, but Hollywood is just beginning to accept it, and they are going to milk the simple storylines for all they are worth.


----------



## Bacon Boy

gorgonara said:


> Go away, if two people want to have orgasms together, and mutually trust each other in a respectful manner, it doesn't remotely concern you. If people want to sleep with a hundred people that's cool. If people want to have kinky weird stuff that's cool, and if you want to enjoy bodies and human natural urges, without emotions attached that's cool. And equally if people want to have one monogamous emotional relationship with one person in a vanilla manner, that's cool too.
> 
> You know whats not cool though? Judging and being a douche about the way other people live, and the things they do that make them happy. As long as no-one is being abused, its none of your freaking business.


Did I judge anyone in my post? No. Did I say it was just my opinion? Yes. No need to harp on me for expressing my views. I'm not judging or condemning anyone. Just because I express views that are different than yours does not mean that you need to call me a douche. If I said "all people that do this are corrupt people and deserve to go to hell", then sure, call me a douche. Better yet, call me a dick and call me out on that because that attitude is not acceptable from anyone. But no, I just said it was my opinion and I said it without tearing anyone down.


----------



## Juicebox

gorgonara said:


> Go away, if two people want to have orgasms together, and mutually trust each other in a respectful manner, it doesn't remotely concern you. If people want to sleep with a hundred people that's cool. If people want to have kinky weird stuff that's cool, and if you want to enjoy bodies and human natural urges, without emotions attached that's cool. And equally if people want to have one monogamous emotional relationship with one person in a vanilla manner, that's cool too.
> 
> You know whats not cool though? Judging and being a douche about the way other people live, and the things they do that make them happy. As long as no-one is being abused, its none of your freaking business.



I feel as though you are judging him too harshly. I'm going to outright say that I don't agree with him about premarital sex, and he and I share very different views. However, he didn't state his opinion in a disrespectful way. He even said that it was just his opinion, and nothing more. I also think he does make a good point about us putting too much emphasis on sex. Although I consider his points differently in that I think that we simply need to mature as a country so that sex doesn't have the "dirty" connotations, so that we can talk about it and inform people properly.

But, he didn't do anything wrong. Having a different opinion does not equal being a douche.


----------



## Colour Bandit

gorgonara said:


> Broad-ass topic but im gonna hack at it. Traditionally we've had a "We're just loike you but gay!" kinda representation of, white, masculine, christian middle class gay men. Who are very much monogamous, cisgender and average. Maybe with a bit of throwback campyness in the mix, because sassy stuff is funny. You can see this in celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, and shows like Modern Family and The New Normal.
> 
> Token gay characters, funny, witty, and effeminate, but vapid are common. Such as in School of Rock, or whatever. There's hundreds of em. When written by actual gay men, they actually retain some form of depth and character progression, such as in Ugly Betty or Glee.
> 
> Shadier topics and queer history, such as the aid's epidemic, homeless queer youth and mental illness tend to be brushed under the carpet, for the sake of integrating and merging with modern culture. "We're just like you! Please don't throw bricks at us!" Kind of like how with black people, there's this subtle undercurrent, a real insidious nuance to not "act" black. Maybe when your telling a joke, but otherwise never talk differently. Be as socially white as possible.
> 
> Really good representation can be seen in stuff like United States of Tara, Lip Service, Hit and Miss, Buffy, the whole Doctor Who/Torchwood universe and Orphan Black. If you want bisexual or Trans representation go home because that stuff is like gold. Generally speaking the BBC and english broadcasting are pretty on top of queer representation, and kind of shine out because of it. With LGBT characters even in daytime soaps.


Thank you for the examples, I'll be sure to look into them 


Juicebox said:


> Frankly, you can tell that we're still in the beginning stages of being represented. Although homosexual characters are being shown more and more, a lot of them are still being portrayed as one-dimensional characters. More often than not, gay character's story arcs only focus on dating and dealing with their sexuality. We basically have gay characters, but we don't have characters that happen to be gay. I desperately want us to take the step into making characters that aren't so focused on their sexuality, but Hollywood is just beginning to accept it, and they are going to milk the simple storylines for all they are worth.


Thank you, I can agree with the milking of simple storylines as all the examples we looked at in class were mainly focusing on the dating aspect... :/


----------



## Stevey Queen

Bacon Boy said:


> *Regardless of sexual orientation, I think sex has lost its sanctity.* Bear with me as I may go into preacher boy mode here, but hold off on to your negative comments until the end. I believe that sex is a matter of love between people. However, it's lost that meaning in today's society. Even a decade ago, stuff like infidelity and premarital sex were considered taboo and for a good reason: they're immoral, in my opinion at least. The glorification of such actions, such as how they've been portrayed in the media as of late. In terms of sexual orientation, I think that it gets way too much attention. You're gay, congrats. *Why does it have to be made such a big deal? On both sides of the coin—for or against it—it should not be made into such a big publicity stunt or selling point. It's really not that big of a deal that someone is gay*. It shouldn't change how you perceive anyone. When my friend came out to me, it really didn't change our friendship. I think if we, you know, just let people do their own thing and stop making a big deal out of it, it'd stop becoming such a taboo and attention whoring topic. I know *people that flaunt the fact they're gay just to get attention and it pisses me off*.



I agree that sex has become a very big thing and at the teenagers age, it somehow sneaks into every conversation and people are having it way too much and way too soon. I'm guilty too but I'm trying to save my next time for someone special.

The next point. Homosexuality has become such a big deal because the government banned gay marriage and are taking forever to legalize it. If it had never been banned, it wouldn't be such a popular topic and this thread probably wouldn't be here.

Umm I forgot what I was going to say about the last thing I highlighted other then thats annoying. Yah that was probably it.


----------



## gorgonara

Bacon Boy said:


> Did I judge anyone in my post? No. Did I say it was just my opinion? Yes. No need to harp on me for expressing my views. I'm not judging or condemning anyone. Just because I express views that are different than yours does not mean that you need to call me a douche. If I said "all people that do this are corrupt people and deserve to go to hell", then sure, call me a douche. Better yet, call me a dick and call me out on that because that attitude is not acceptable from anyone. But no, I just said it was my opinion and I said it without tearing anyone down.



"and for a good reason: they're immoral,"

If it's immoral, your calling the people who do it immoral, and thus you call them bad people. And its that kind of poopy mentality that is extremely damaging and socially irresponsible and causes stuff like the magdelene laundries and women being burned with acid. Its that kind of mentality that causes the US government to not teach sex ed, but abstinence. The reason why hundreds of teenage girls have babies that dont want and end up being kicked out and homeless. The lack of sex ed that caused an aid's crisis and killed thousands.

Stop.

Sure stick rings one each other and save yer boners for one person that fine and dandy, but dont create the facetious fallacy that your somehow purer or more depthful and mature than others. Because at the end of the day its just sticking moist organs together because it feels nice.


----------



## Micah

I agree with Bacon Boy.


----------



## Bacon Boy

> Even a decade ago, stuff like infidelity and premarital sex were considered taboo and for a good reason: they're immoral, in my opinion at least.


Thanks for taking my words out of context and trying to build a terrible argument against it. See, the thing you're not getting is that the person that does something bad isn't a bad person. I don't like the action, but that doesn't mean I don't like the person. I'm calling the actions immoral, not the people. Also, there's really no need to use language like that. There _are_ kids on this site and while this is a mature discussion, we don't need to start taking it in too much of a mature direction.


----------



## Caius

Wait.. what? 

How did this even derail?

I think you're all pretty  ignore each other.





“Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”


----------



## SockHead

You guys need to learn to respect peoples point of view as they would for you.


----------



## Liv

I completely agree with Bacon Boy. And I believe even more in the idea of practicing what you preach, however that is a completely different conversation.

Also, I don't think your angle on this discussion, gorgonara, is incredibly appropriate for this forum's audience. In addition, I don't agree with some of your points, such as your comment on the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s and 1990s. AIDS caught Americans, the government and the medical community unaware. The slowness defining the disease, identifying treatments and searching for a cure was due to the stigma that was attached to being gay at the time. This said, education on how to avoid transmitting or receiving AIDS was a first priority for many AIDS organizations, including the Gay Men's Health Crisis, but to say that was the cause and reason the intensity of the epidemic is quite a statement.

But anyway, it doesn't matter that much, I just finished a paper on the Gay Men's Health Crisis so I just have that abundance of knowledge on the AIDS illness. In a word, stop arguing, we were doing so well with not having arguments on this thread!


----------



## Caius

My stance is easy.

It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife. - Proverbs 21:19

But seriously guys, might want to ... cool it?


----------



## gorgonara

*endless sea of shrugs*

oh well and stuff
so uh

List cool queer people you admire? 
-Quentin Crisp
-Jinkx Monsoon
-Oscar Wilde
-Margaret Cho
-Akihiro Miwa


----------



## Jas0n

Not to bring up arguments again, but I have a question for you all.

Do you believe sexual sanctity ever truly existed or was it an invention of the 20th century? Humans are naturally animal and have animal instincts when it comes to sex and reproduction. I believe sexual promiscuity is more natural than sexual sanctity. Though, that's not to say I believe it's right to go out and screw with people's emotions but if two people are willing to be promiscuous with each other I don't think that harms anything.

As for sexuality in media, that's an entirely different story. As we came out of the 20th century sex became what sold and that's been rapidly evolving ever since to a point where it's so wrongly portrayed, especially in an LGBT standpoint, that it warps people's opinions on what sex actually is.


----------



## Bambi

Jas0n said:


> Do you believe sexual sanctity ever truly existed or was it an invention of the 20th century?



I think humans are animals and our instincts are no different than any other mammal on this earth. I do not believe in sexual sanctity personally. As soon as I had the urge I went for it and glad I did.


----------



## Caius

Jas0n said:


> Not to bring up arguments again, but I have a question for you all.
> 
> Do you believe sexual sanctity ever truly existed or was it an invention of the 20th century? Humans are naturally animal and have animal instincts when it comes to sex and reproduction. I believe sexual promiscuity is more natural than sexual sanctity. Though, that's not to say I believe it's right to go out and screw with people's emotions but if two people are willing to be promiscuous with each other I don't think that harms anything.
> 
> As for sexuality in media, that's an entirely different story. As we came out of the 20th century sex became what sold and that's been rapidly evolving ever since to a point where it's so wrongly portrayed, especially in an LGBT standpoint, that it warps people's opinions on what sex actually is.




It really depends on culture. Cultures that really didn't adapt to the Catholicism standpoint tended to be more open about sexuality. It was more of a need to procreate and ensure survival. I doubt you'll really ever find something that points anywhere different from Greece, Rome, Africa, or most of Asia. Interesting stuff. 

There was probably some basic 'guideline' of what is and isn't morally wrong, but it all came from the same place, jealousy and how you lived. In that case, other cultures really wouldn't be that effected if they remained separate. 

As for the moral judgement on my part, I don't think promiscuity is really right. Basically, I see it as an insult if you're doing it behind someone's back. However, it's not unheard of for people to just go with it and let it take them where it will. I think it's more of a self-guilt issue.

Edit: I just realized you said sanctity. Eh, same response, culture. Though it's been there for a while. I like to call it the "got mine" philosophy.


----------



## Jas0n

Zr388 said:


> It really depends on culture. Cultures that really didn't adapt to the Catholicism standpoint tended to be more open about sexuality. It was more of a need to procreate and ensure survival. I doubt you'll really ever find something that points anywhere different from Greece, Rome, Africa, or most of Asia. Interesting stuff.
> 
> There was probably some basic 'guideline' of what is and isn't morally wrong, but it all came from the same place, jealousy and how you lived. In that case, other cultures really wouldn't be that effected if they remained separate.
> 
> As for the moral judgement on my part, I don't think promiscuity is really right. Basically, I see it as an insult if you're doing it behind someone's back. However, it's not unheard of for people to just go with it and let it take them where it will. I think it's more of a self-guilt issue.
> 
> Edit: I just realized you said sanctity. Eh, same response, culture. Though it's been there for a while. I like to call it the "got mine" philosophy.



It really is interesting how cultures differ so widely, and a large part being because of religion even from the non-religious parties in those cultures.

I don't think being promiscuous as standard entails going behind other people's backs, that's an entirely different thing. I agree that it's more of a personal issue though and other people's morals shouldn't play a role in it. For me personally it goes against my morals but for others maybe not so much, and I think that's fine. The vast differences and diversity is what makes the human race so awesome.


----------



## Caius

~~~~*~*~*~*~ _Diversity_ ~*~*~*~*~~~~


----------



## Jas0n

So anyway, to kick this thread back on the topic of LGBT(QAOUSDUOASDALSJBDOUASD)ism

Rhode Island just became the 10th state to legalise same-sex marriage!
http://www.advocate.com/politics/ma...rhode-island-gov-signs-marriage-equality-bill


----------



## Caius




----------



## Ashtot

Jas0n said:


> Not to bring up arguments again, but I have a question for you all.
> 
> Do you believe sexual sanctity ever truly existed or was it an invention of the 20th century? Humans are naturally animal and have animal instincts when it comes to sex and reproduction. I believe sexual promiscuity is more natural than sexual sanctity. Though, that's not to say I believe it's right to go out and screw with people's emotions but if two people are willing to be promiscuous with each other I don't think that harms anything.



I think that something we tend to forget is that just because we have natural instincts, doesn't mean that they always lead to something good. We want what we want when we want it. We've been taught to act a certain way in society and we know that we can't have everything we want, no matter how bad we want it. We can't just do what we want all the time just it feels good and natural.

Edit: Although moral goodness is something different for everyone.


----------



## Tapa

Jas0n said:


> So anyway, to kick this thread back on the topic of LGBT(QAOUSDUOASDALSJBDOUASD)ism
> 
> Rhode Island just became the 10th state to legalise same-sex marriage!
> http://www.advocate.com/politics/ma...rhode-island-gov-signs-marriage-equality-bill



Heck yeah, go Rhode Island. xD 

Also, I've just recently discovered this thread. Hi.


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## Eirynfox

I think if you find peace in yourself then most of this wont matter 




Tapa said:


> Heck yeah, go Rhode Island. xD
> 
> Also, I've just recently discovered this thread. Hi.



Hi Tapa!


----------



## Solar

I'm sorry but I need to vent a bit...I just called gay again today and I know it's not supposed to be a hurtful term, but when someone uses it in a hurtful way it gets to me...I have to problem with LGBT at all, and I know I'm not supposed to let this stuff get to me, but it just does....I'm sorta in need of consolation right now...sorry if I sound needy or anything....


----------



## Eirynfox

Benmjy said:


> I'm sorry but I need to vent a bit...I just called gay again today and I know it's not supposed to be a hurtful term, but when someone uses it in a hurtful way it gets to me...I have to problem with LGBT at all, and I know I'm not supposed to let this stuff get to me, but it just does....I'm sorta in need of consolation right now...sorry if I sound needy or anything....



If it helps! I think they are just angry, think of them as holding their hate like a hot coal.
Holding on to anger and hate is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
my only other piece of advice is, if you don't judge yourself, then no one else will be able to judge you  Maybe does it feel bad to be called Gay in that way because somewhere within yourself you might feel that it is bad to be gay?
I hope this helps!

Peace!


----------



## gorgonara

Benmjy said:


> I'm sorry but I need to vent a bit...I just called gay again today and I know it's not supposed to be a hurtful term, but when someone uses it in a hurtful way it gets to me...I have to problem with LGBT at all, and I know I'm not supposed to let this stuff get to me, but it just does....I'm sorta in need of consolation right now...sorry if I sound needy or anything....



punch them in the face then pin them down and spit on their eyeball and then be like "oh sorry dude now you have *** body-fluid in your system and it'll probs go straight to your brain because its so close the eye-ball sorry man you caught the gay too i feel u man"

But n'aw though seriously now, why even care what some spitefull bigot butt-face thinks. I recommend punching them because lets be real that is the only way people learn. As someone who was tormented for years, trust me, when someone walks over you bite their foot off. Then the'll never walk over you again. Maybe hobble or limp. I dont really know where im going with this.


----------



## the_bria

um, yeah, violence is definitely not the way to go about it.  i would try to ignore them and if it keeps happening talk to someone about it.  

defending yourself verbally is fine but not physically.  that brings you down to their level, if not lower.  don't do that to yourself


----------



## Liv

Benmjy said:


> I'm sorry but I need to vent a bit...I just called gay again today and I know it's not supposed to be a hurtful term, but when someone uses it in a hurtful way it gets to me...I have to problem with LGBT at all, and I know I'm not supposed to let this stuff get to me, but it just does....I'm sorta in need of consolation right now...sorry if I sound needy or anything....



It seems as though people who don't act in line with general gender stereotypes are subjected to homophobic bullying. As silly as it is, people expect boys to be sporty and strong controllers while girls, emotional and dainty. Obviously, these standards are ridiculous and should in no way restrain you from what you enjoy and who you are. 

It is common, unfortunately that the word "gay" is an insult, as to make being gay or any of the GLBTA spheres highly undesirable and something to be ashamed of, which it isn't.

It is completely normal and human for any form of bullying to "get to you." What is important is that you appropriately deal with this bullying. I suggest talking to a guidance counselor or parent, basically someone you can trust since it is the best idea to tackle this disturbance now, before it becomes something that can really really harm you emotionally or physically. 

Best of luck, and also if you need anymore help, don't hesitate.


----------



## gorgonara

the_bria said:


> um, yeah, violence is definitely not the way to go about it.  i would try to ignore them and if it keeps happening talk to someone about it.
> 
> defending yourself verbally is fine but not physically.  that brings you down to their level, if not lower.  don't do that to yourself



As someone who was personally victimized for years that is just something parents and teachers tell kids to make them feel better or make it blow up bigger. If your under 16 you will get away with it in the long term. As someone who was choked until I passed out, who had coke cans thrown at my head and had to get stitches, and had nasty stuff like that, bullies never "get the hint". If they can get away with it because "boys will be boys", or "they're just kids", you can get away with socking them in the jaw.

And as someone who went to teachers, and my mum was basically told "There's nothing we can do because it's too many kids, so we're gonna blame your child because he sticks out too much.", some teachers are awful. And should never be told.

Like yeah, flippant remarks and annoying douchebags you can just ignore, maybe tell a teacher. But if its really bad, if you're being witch-hunted and fear going to school; little will help other than slapping back.


----------



## Bacon Boy

gorgonara said:


> As someone who was personally victimized for years that is just something parents and teachers tell kids to make them feel better or make it blow up bigger. If your under 16 you will get away with it in the long term. As someone who was choked until I passed out, who had coke cans thrown at my head and had to get stitches, and had nasty stuff like that, bullies never "get the hint". If they can get away with it because "boys will be boys", or "they're just kids", you can get away with socking them in the jaw.
> 
> And as someone who went to teachers, and my mum was basically told "There's nothing we can do because it's too many kids, so we're gonna blame your child because he sticks out too much.", some teachers are awful. And should never be told.
> 
> Like yeah, flippant remarks and annoying douchebags you can just ignore, maybe tell a teacher. But if its really bad, if you're being witch-hunted and fear going to school; little will help other than slapping back.


Nothing really stuns a bully more than when you fight back. That's how I made my way through grade-school. After about second grade, I toughened up and stopped being the punching bag. Yea, sometimes they would escalate into fights, but it's better to get the other guy a few times and be able to defend yourself than be the guy that gets beat up and then have the teachers say "we didn't see it, so it didn't happen".


----------



## Furry Sparks

A lot of the times in situations like that you're just kind of screwed until you get out of high school. The best thing would be to tell some adults (teachers, parents, principals, counselors) but that can sometimes backfire and turn out like when I almost got suspended for hugging my boyfriend. I really wouldn't recommend punching them, they could bring friends next time, and if you get caught by the school you'll be punished pretty badly.


----------



## Jas0n

Fighting back is a sure way to just cause more trouble for you. Both in that the bully will feel more compelled and challenged to break you, and that you'll get in trouble from the school. 

Bullies want a feeling of importance, if you don't give that to them then they will lose interest. Being diplomatic is far more important than anything else.


----------



## Juicebox

I've never actually seen the whole "fight the bullies so they stop being rude" actually work. 

First off, throwing the first punch doesn't automatically mean you won the fight. I've seen the bully turn around and punch harder and kick the crap out of someone who punched them, so by losing the fight, the kid just got opened up to more bullying. Also, even if you win the fight, you still threw the first punch. Not only are you going to get into more trouble, but the bully is now pissed and gets a week of suspension to ruminate in their anger. Not only that, but the popular kids are probably going to back him up, so you're just going to have this big hoard of gorillas ready for you when you get back.

Now, I'm not going to say never, ever fight back. If you are in physical danger and the school staff is doing nothing about it, you kind of have to fight. You have to save your own skin, even if it means you get in trouble. However, fighting verbal bullying with physical violence isn't a very feasible idea. If you beat someone up just for insulting you, you aren't necessarily going to solve the problem. A lot of times, the teasing actually gets turned into people trying to hurt you. As I said before, the bully might have friends that want to avenge him. People always try to portray bullies as, for a lack of a better term, pussies, but they aren't always.

Also, you have to realize that you aren't helping the gay community by fighting. You aren't hurting anyone, but you aren't helping. Instead, you are freaking out people who are neutral on LGBT's, and making it harder for them accept, because of one bad example. It's stupid, but people are sheep. It's never a good thing to turn away allies.


If you're getting verbally bullied and no one is doing anything about it, my advice is to be smarter than the bullies. If you can learn sarcasm and wit, you can make the bullies look stupid. Even better, is if you can find out how to get them into an analytical situation where they actually have to answer for their actions. Stupid kids flounder when logic is involved, and it's not easy to get into these situations, but when you do, you can do serious damage to their self esteem. Besides, a good speaker is way more dangerous than a good fighter. A good fighter can fight alone, but a good speaker can get everyone to fight with them.


----------



## gorgonara

Juicebox said:


> If you're getting verbally bullied and no one is doing anything about it, my advice is to be smarter than the bullies. If you can learn sarcasm and wit, you can make the bullies look stupid.



FUN FACT: this will sometimes earn you a broken nose depending on how scary your bully is. I'm gonna make a bullet list.

1. Big scary, physically agressive bully thats bigger than you. Ignore and report.
2. Similar size, physically aggressive. Ignore and report, then maybe go banzai and smack the poop out of them. If your feeling up to it.
3. Not very brave, but emotionally and psychologically cruel bully, make them look dumb if your smart enough, if not then report, then maybe beat the snot out of them.
4. Someone being a poop, saying ignorant dumb stuff. Ignore. Maybe make them look dumb.


----------



## Juicebox

Doesn't this:


gorgonara said:


> FUN FACT: this will sometimes earn you a broken nose depending on how scary your bully is. I'm gonna make a bullet list.
> 
> 1. Big scary, physically agressive bully thats bigger than you. Ignore and report.
> 2. Similar size, physically aggressive. Ignore and report, then maybe go banzai and smack the poop out of them. If your feeling up to it.
> 3. Not very brave, but emotionally and psychologically cruel bully, make them look dumb if your smart enough, if not then report, then maybe beat the snot out of them.
> 4. Someone being a poop, saying ignorant dumb stuff. Ignore. Maybe make them look dumb.


 Contradict this?: 



gorgonara said:


> punch them in the face then pin them down and spit on their eyeball and then be like "oh sorry dude now you have *** body-fluid in your system and it'll probs go straight to your brain because its so close the eye-ball sorry man you caught the gay too i feel u man"
> 
> But n'aw though seriously now, why even care what some spitefull bigot butt-face thinks. I recommend punching them because lets be real that is the only way people learn. As someone who was tormented for years, trust me, when someone walks over you bite their foot off. Then the'll never walk over you again. Maybe hobble or limp. I dont really know where im going with this.



You aren't being very consistent.


----------



## gorgonara

Juicebox said:


> You aren't being very consistent.



what you never seen a hypocrite before? but yeah pretty much. im like the worst advice giver ever with a bad case of verbal diahrrea double-take everything i say then take it again with a grain of salt.


----------



## Wish

Benmjy said:


> I'm sorry but I need to vent a bit...I just called gay again today and I know it's not supposed to be a hurtful term, but when someone uses it in a hurtful way it gets to me...I have to problem with LGBT at all, and I know I'm not supposed to let this stuff get to me, but it just does....I'm sorta in need of consolation right now...sorry if I sound needy or anything....



I hope you are feeling better! 

I am not entitled to say any of this but it's just my opinion. You absolutely have every right to be hurt by it and there's nothing wrong with letting it get to you. I'm not going to tell you to take it to a teacher or ignore them because I know how hard that is; but I think that someone so insignificant in your life is not worth listening to.

=)


----------



## Bambi

Benmjy said:


> I'm sorry but I need to vent a bit...I just called gay again today and I know it's not supposed to be a hurtful term, but when someone uses it in a hurtful way it gets to me...I have to problem with LGBT at all, and I know I'm not supposed to let this stuff get to me, but it just does....I'm sorta in need of consolation right now...sorry if I sound needy or anything....



I find words lose their power if they don't get a reaction. Or if they create the OPPOSITE effect of what the bully is going for. I was bullied a lot in school and girls like to yell at me when I walked through the halls "S***!" So I would hold my head up high and yell back "SURE AM!" I dunno, got me through highschool just not giving two ***** what people said.


----------



## Ashtot

At my school, anybody that fights on school property gets a $300 fine. So basically, if a guy wants to beat you up, and you don't want to get in trouble, you have to let him beat the crap out of you. Our schools gone through a few rough times due to our principal telling a bullying victim to "suck it up" which got into the news here. There were students protesting outside for a few days. He retired at the end of last year.


----------



## Bacon Boy

I'm all for being diplomatic about it and turning the other cheek. When prople are verbally abusing you, then yeah, no reason to fight. However, you should never let yourself become a punching bag because you're afraid of getting into trouble or you're against fighting back. The first time I fought back, I got in trouble and sent to ISS for it back in grade school. However, if I had not fought back, the kid would have succeeded in suffocating me, so there's that. There's a time and place for everything.


----------



## Jinglefruit

Today I realised I really haven't ventured far from the New Leaf forums and found this thread for the first time. I identify somewhere around pansexual and bisexual, not too sure where I stand exactly.

On the current bullying topic, I don't believe violence should ever be the answer. But I was fortunate enough that I was only ever really verbally bullied. The 2 occasions it was more than that I managed to escape in such an attention drawing way that the bullies got caught and it was clear I was entirely a victim, so I didn't get into any trouble.

Verbal bullying I always found teachers done absolutely nothing useful to stop it, and I recieved a lot of verbal abuse due to having a rather embarassing homosexual surname. So I took to just coming back with quick witty retorts and generally silencing them until they learned there was nothing they could say I hadn't already heard and planned a response for. And for the really persistant bullies I spread rumours that they were gay (If you're out, the quickest way to do this is to make people think that you are dating them ;P) and they quickly became victims to their own bullying methods, which got them off my back and is something I would tell any future children of mine to do.

Whether something like that would work for you guys I don't know. But after I started doing stuff like that no one bullied me a second time, and I had a few years of peace.


----------



## oath2order

Jinglefruit said:


> And for the really persistant bullies I spread rumours that they were gay (If you're out, the quickest way to do this is to make people think that you are dating them ;P) and they quickly became victims to their own bullying methods, which got them off my back and is something I would tell any future children of mine to do.



You're perpetuating the idea that there's something wrong with being gay by spreading rumors to allow them to be bullied.

This is worse than violence.


----------



## Jinglefruit

oath2order said:


> You're perpetuating the idea that there's something wrong with being gay by spreading rumors to allow them to be bullied.
> 
> This is worse than violence.



:I That is rather a dramatic response. In theory, and hindsight, I'd probably agree with you. But in practise, that is not how it went down at all. It worked more as a taste of their own medicine, a few weeks later and the rumours over them were gone and most people who were bullied by them were left alone.  

In a more closed-minded place I imagine it could propagate more, where I live everything is pretty lax.


----------



## gorgonara

oath2order said:


> You're perpetuating the idea that there's something wrong with being gay by spreading rumors to allow them to be bullied.
> 
> This is worse than violence.



*snorts and chuckles so milkshake comes out of my nose*

rly tho hun

rly tho


----------



## Bambi

Please show your support an share https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=560756123965319


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## oath2order

gorgonara said:


> *snorts and chuckles so milkshake comes out of my nose*
> 
> rly tho hun
> 
> rly tho



Oh no, I'm sorry, apparently violence is okay, rather than continuing the idea that being gay is bad.

Thanks for explaining how it went down though, Jinglefruit.


----------



## Jinglefruit

oath2order said:


> Oh no, I'm sorry, apparently violence is okay, rather than continuing the idea that being gay is bad.
> 
> Thanks for explaining how it went down though, Jinglefruit.



Funnily enough I was going to elaborate more when I first posted, but decided not to make my post to long. ^^;

I hope the violence is okay bit isn't in relation to my story though, seeing as that's the opposite of what I was going for.


----------



## Hazy

Bambi said:


> Please show your support an share https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=560756123965319



Just watched and shared this, so shocking and sad


----------



## Bambi

Hazy said:


> Just watched and shared this, so shocking and sad



I know  I watched it last night before bed and it was a BAD idea. I was bawling my eyes out and then couldn't sleep after thinking about every little injustice in the world. Not a good way to get to sleep lol.


----------



## Hazy

Bambi said:


> I know  I watched it last night before bed and it was a BAD idea. I was bawling my eyes out and then couldn't sleep after thinking about every little injustice in the world. Not a good way to get to sleep lol.



There must be so many stories like this already out there. I've heard a few similar ones, but this was the most heartbreaking. 
Gosh, I welled up too... I was thinking about it in context of where I live, when 2 or 3 weeks ago a bill which would have allowed for equal marriage rights was rejected. After seeing that video, I'm even more upset and angry 

(A really OT comment here, but I LOVE Bambi  I nicknamed my friend Bambi because she has brown doe eyes haha )


----------



## Peachk33n

Bambi said:


> Please show your support an share https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=560756123965319



I seen this a while ago and it is very sad. 

Im glad in Canada LGBTQ have the same rights as anyone else. I dont see why it just cant happen in the states. I mean its been fine over here for a long time. the world isnt going to explode 

anyways, glad I could share my opinion.


----------



## oath2order

Jinglefruit said:


> Funnily enough I was going to elaborate more when I first posted, but decided not to make my post to long. ^^;
> 
> I hope the violence is okay bit isn't in relation to my story though, seeing as that's the opposite of what I was going for.



Nah, that was a sarcastic response to gorgonara.

Also, ya'll, it's almost June. The Supreme Courts' two cases will have a decision then.


----------



## Smoke

I've gotta say, the fact that people are so unwilling to accept that people are allowed to be who they want is truly outrageous. This is exactly why I plan on majoring in Psychology. I've got questions about why people's minds function the way they do and I want answers. No matter how long it takes. In any case, I fully support equality for all. It's not harming anyone, and just because you think it's not okay doesn't make it not okay. Be who you are, do what you will. Getting mad at someone for being gay, bi, lesbian, or trans because it's against what you believe in is like getting mad at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet. To those of you here who are any of the four, keep doing what you do. 

And that is all I really have to say here.


----------



## Hazy

Smoke said:


> I've gotta say, the fact that people are so unwilling to accept that people are allowed to be who they want is truly outrageous. This is exactly why I plan on majoring in Psychology. I've got questions about why people's minds function the way they do and I want answers. No matter how long it takes. In any case, I fully support equality for all. It's not harming anyone, and just because you think it's not okay doesn't make it not okay. Be who you are, do what you will. Getting mad at someone for being gay, bi, lesbian, or trans because it's against what you believe in is like getting mad at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet. To those of you here who are any of the four, keep doing what you do.
> 
> And that is all I really have to say here.



Agreed. I like the donut analogy  I study the social sciences and sociology and there are many theories about this, but certainly no easy answers as to why people and societies are prejudice.


----------



## Bambi

Hazy said:


> (A really OT comment here, but I LOVE Bambi  I nicknamed my friend Bambi because she has brown doe eyes haha )



Me too! Bambi is adorable 

That is the sad thing about the video. He is speaking for thousands of people who have similar experiences. Equality for everyone should, in my opinion, not even be debatable.


----------



## Usagi_Pip

Bambi said:


> Please show your support an share https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=560756123965319


As sad as the video is, what's worse is knowing that there are tonnes more stories similar to this...(there are also a few heart-warming success stories around as well!  )

I get the feeling that although there are stories such as this, the world is slowly becoming more forward-thinking and open-minded as a whole, but it needs to be happening at a bigger scale.

I identify myself as asexual at this point in time (other times I doubt myself, since asexuality has it's own kind of scale of sorts, and isn't too widely recognised yet). I've tried to gauge my parents reaction to it, which was "naah, such a thing doesn't exist, you're just not trying" sooo i've stopped seeking advice from them XD. Since my partner is male I'm not questioned much about it, and since it's not commonly brought up, it only comes up if I decide I need to talk about it. I'm unsure about my romantic/emotional attraction preferences, but since I'm in a loving committed relationship, I find there's little point pondering o exploring it since I'm happy with how things are. But I know for a fact that romantic and sexual attraction can be two different things, and in my opinion it's wrong to judge someone based on just one of those, because of that I find myself being pretty open-minded. Some discussions make me feel uncomfortable if they're heavily detailed, but all in all I believe it's just natural for everyone to have their own sexual and romantic preferences and gender identity. No single person is the same as another, and I think the variety of views and preferences everyone has should be embraced rather than shunned as it still is today. We are just human after all.


----------



## Pudge

Just thought I'd step in and say I'm part of the G in LGBTQA, and duh I support it.


----------



## Megamannt125

Bambi said:


> Please show your support an share https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=560756123965319



Why would you link this?


----------



## oath2order

Megamannt125 said:


> Why would you link this?



Why not?


----------



## gorgonara

oath2order said:


> Why not?



Cuz its real freaking sad.


----------



## oath2order

gorgonara said:


> Cuz its real freaking sad.



So?


----------



## Stevey Queen

gorgonara said:


> Cuz its real freaking sad.



And hopefully people who have the power to make gay marriage legal will see this and they will be sad too.

It's called raising awareness.


----------



## gorgonara

Lovemcqueen said:


> And hopefully people who have the power to make gay marriage legal will see this and they will be sad too.
> 
> It's called raising awareness.



k cool thanks


----------



## oath2order

So gay scouts can be in the boy scouts now.


----------



## kcrojas777

oath2order said:


> We have an LGBTQA page now. This is awesome. It's the one thing ACC never could get away with.
> 
> I'm the G, by the way



You know, that was my problem with that community and why I chose to seek another. They try to sensor quite a bit. I am a supporter, and I don't believe it is fair to sensor people based on that among SEVERAL other things. I would hope people can be civil and accepting. It allows a commuity to grow. (Internet based or not XD)


----------



## Elijo

Bambi said:


> Please show your support an share https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=560756123965319



Tears are now falling out of my eyes. Poor Tom and Shane... ;(


----------



## Hazy

oath2order said:


> So gay scouts can be in the boy scouts now.



Continue to ban gay scout leaders, though. 
Baby steps...


----------



## gorgonara

on a totes different note why is there even an L like, cuz lesbian is pretty much interchangeable with gay and you can spit out gbt way quicker and its easier to remember

although when i was like 15 i had to explain to this kid that women can be described as gay and he was like "nu-uh when girls like girls its lesbian when boys like boys its gay" and i totally got his logic even though he was wrong but then he got real uppity about it because he was determined he was right. even after i explain that im gay and my sister is a lesbian so i was p sure i was right.

oh yeah, fun fact both of my siblings are also queer how weird is that


----------



## Jas0n

gorgonara said:


> on a totes different note why is there even an L like, cuz lesbian is pretty much interchangeable with gay and you can spit out gbt way quicker and its easier to remember
> 
> although when i was like 15 i had to explain to this kid that women can be described as gay and he was like "nu-uh when girls like girls its lesbian when boys like boys its gay" and i totally got his logic even though he was wrong but then he got real uppity about it because he was determined he was right. even after i explain that im gay and my sister is a lesbian so i was p sure i was right.
> 
> oh yeah, fun fact both of my siblings are also queer how weird is that



Does it really matter? People get too uptight about labels.


----------



## Stevey Queen

gorgonara said:


> on a totes different note why is there even an L like, cuz lesbian is pretty much interchangeable with gay and you can spit out gbt way quicker and its easier to remember
> 
> although when i was like 15 i had to explain to this kid that women can be described as gay and he was like "nu-uh when girls like girls its lesbian when boys like boys its gay" and i totally got his logic even though he was wrong but then he got real uppity about it because he was determined he was right. even after i explain that im gay and my sister is a lesbian so i was p sure i was right.
> 
> oh yeah, fun fact both of my siblings are also queer how weird is that



Homosexual would just make things easier but it doesn't matter.


----------



## oath2order

Hazy said:


> Continue to ban gay scout leaders, though.
> Baby steps...



That's my thought about it. It pretty much is just baby steps :/


----------



## gorgonara

Jas0n said:


> Does it really matter? People get too uptight about labels.



truth.

that kid was so damn vindicated though.



Lovemcqueen said:


> Homosexual would just make things easier but it doesn't matter.



that's like 4 extra syllables, sounds way too sciencey-diseasey, and it removes the joy of listening to old songs like the Flintstones theme and snickering whenever someone says gay


----------



## Stevey Queen

gorgonara said:


> that's like 4 extra syllables, sounds way too sciencey-diseasey, and it removes the joy of listening to old songs like the Flintstones theme and snickering whenever someone says gay



...good reasons lol..


----------



## Little Link

On a lighter note, I think K.K. Slider is a Hottie. And the videos of Dancing at Club LOL remind me of the Fun I had Dancing at Gay Bars in the 70s & 80s. When I become Mayor of my Town I am making it Legal for Gay Animals to get Married!


----------



## Colour Bandit

oath2order said:


> That's my thought about it. It pretty much is just baby steps :/



We have to learn to walk before we run, if they rush into things like this it may cause more harm than good to all parties. I'm all for equality, but if we don't spend time 'perfecting' equality laws then there would be more resistance towards the LGBT community.


----------



## kcrojas777

Little Link said:


> On a lighter note, I think K.K. Slider is a Hottie. And the videos of Dancing at Club LOL remind me of the Fun I had Dancing at Gay Bars in the 70s & 80s. When I become Mayor of my Town I am making it Legal for Gay Animals to get Married!



NICE! Haha


----------



## Stevey Queen

Little Link said:


> On a lighter note, I think K.K. Slider is a Hottie. And the videos of Dancing at Club LOL remind me of the Fun I had Dancing at Gay Bars in the 70s & 80s. When I become Mayor of my Town I am making it Legal for Gay Animals to get Married!



I'll come to your town with Kody and get married there.


----------



## oath2order

Little Link said:


> On a lighter note, I think K.K. Slider is a Hottie. And the videos of Dancing at Club LOL remind me of the Fun I had Dancing at Gay Bars in the 70s & 80s. When I become Mayor of my Town I am making it Legal for Gay Animals to get Married!



#winning, like for real. Love this.


----------



## Nami

Well after skimming through the thread a bit, it certainly seems interesting, hahah. I'm bisexual female, though I nearly forget that until I find myself checking out one of my co-workers... Our hotel is pretty much ran by women. Been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for 4 years.  

Not too sure what else to say here... -shrug-

Edit:
Oh and totally! Gay marriage for all! Funny, my town flag used to be the gay pride one, before I actually knew what it was.. I was young <3


----------



## Sheep

Void


----------



## Little Link

Since you can mix and match clothes in New Leaf, one can go in Drag to Club LOL and Dance. Having a Contest to see which Town Visitors have the best outfit sounds like a Fun thing to do sometime. And no, I do not do Drag in Real Life


----------



## gorgonara

nooky said:


> I had some gender dysphoria in the past (Like most teens do) but that quickly passed.



SAAAAAME. and just general body dysphoria where i just wanted to cry and feel disgusting. Honestly though when i look back at the times when i was totally batpoo crazyface and feeling really bad and how much progress I've made i feel awesome.


----------



## Roel

nooky said:


> II had some gender dysphoria in the past (Like most teens do) but that quickly passed.


I apparently had that when I was really young. I even said that I was a girl and they could chop my penis off.. Really can't imagine I said that..


----------



## Peachk33n

Little Link said:


> Since you can mix and match clothes in New Leaf, one can go in Drag to Club LOL and Dance. Having a Contest to see which Town Visitors have the best outfit sounds like a Fun thing to do sometime. And no, I do not do Drag in Real Life



omg rupauls dragrace: animal crossing edition. I see a web series in the making


----------



## oath2order

Oh my lord. We should totally do that!

I'm not gonna be RuPaul. I can't pull that off.


----------



## AmenFashion

I'll be RuPaul.

Lip sync...for your LIFE.


----------



## gorgonara

*jinkx monsoon voice*, Um, gracie grace, i think we have a different _aesthetic_


----------



## Little Link

Looks like I am going to have to have a "Club LOL Drag Night Contest" in my NL Town! The problem is, only a few can enter/visit at a time! But when I have a decent catalog, there will be Nice Prizes (not to mention the many clothing options). And I won't be as difficult to impress as Gracie Grace!  With the new dressing options in NL, the expression "I Love your Shoes!" will be heard quite often I'm sure! "And the Winner of the New Leaf Mister/Miss Contest is..."


----------



## Eirynfox

Little Link said:


> Looks like I am going to have to have a "Club LOL Drag Night Contest" in my NL Town! The problem is, only a few can enter/visit at a time! But when I have a decent catalog, there will be Nice Prizes (not to mention the many clothing options). And I won't be as difficult to impress as Gracie Grace!  With the new dressing options in NL, the expression "I Love your Shoes!" will be heard quite often I'm sure! "And the Winner of the New Leaf Mister/Miss Contest is..."



SYDNEY! lol bad joke, but great idea!  I want to play ^_^


----------



## Bambi

Little Link said:


> Looks like I am going to have to have a "Club LOL Drag Night Contest" in my NL Town! The problem is, only a few can enter/visit at a time! But when I have a decent catalog, there will be Nice Prizes (not to mention the many clothing options). And I won't be as difficult to impress as Gracie Grace!  With the new dressing options in NL, the expression "I Love your Shoes!" will be heard quite often I'm sure! "And the Winner of the New Leaf Mister/Miss Contest is..."



That's a cute idea!


----------



## oath2order

Y'know, it could be much better done in a room in a house than in the Club.


----------



## neverbeenkrissed

i can't believe the new game is coming out during boston pride!! i'll be spending saturday in the city and then somehow dragging myself out of bed on sunday to make my way to gamestop


----------



## oath2order

So apparently in the British House of Lords and Commons, the same-sex marriage bill passed


----------



## Jinglefruit

oath2order said:


> So apparently in the British House of Lords and Commons, the same-sex marriage bill passed




Ayup! ^_^ Took a fair while of deliberating to get there though. Now I can marry who I want, and hopefully I'll get to see my Uncles marry.


----------



## Jarrad

What does the acronym stand for?


----------



## oath2order

Jarrad said:


> What does the acronym stand for?



What, LGBTQA?

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Trans, Questioning, and either Asexual or Ally.


----------



## Jas0n

oath2order said:


> So apparently in the British House of Lords and Commons, the same-sex marriage bill passed



Not quite.

The House of Commons has approved the Marriage Equality bill but it's only on the second reading in the House of Lords. If it passes the third reading in the House of Lords then same-sex marriage will become legal. 

They have until the end of July to make a decision, that's assuming that the House of Lords doesn't make any amendments to the bill, in which case it'll have to go back to the House of Commons to be passed by them again. Theoretically it could bounce back and force between houses for a while.

So, same-sex marriage is still pretty far from legal, but it's closer than it's ever been in the UK.


----------



## Jarrad

oath2order said:


> What, LGBTQA?
> 
> Lesbian Gay Bisexual Trans, Questioning, and either Asexual or Ally.


oh..

- - - Post Merge - - -



Lovemcqueen said:


> I used to be B, then G, and now I'm S. Personal reasons, nothing bad.



How are you feeling today? Like a T, B, G, or S? It must be whatever way the wind blows with you, eh?


----------



## Solar

Jarrad said:


> oh..
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> How are you feeling today? Like a T, B, G, or S? It must be whatever way the wind blows with you, eh?



Umm, I don't know whether or not you meant it this way but your comment towards Lovemcqueen comes off as quite rude, at least to me.


----------



## gorgonara

Jas0n said:


> Not quite.
> 
> The House of Commons has approved the Marriage Equality bill but it's only on the second reading in the House of Lords. If it passes the third reading in the House of Lords then same-sex marriage will become legal.
> 
> They have until the end of July to make a decision, that's assuming that the House of Lords doesn't make any amendments to the bill, in which case it'll have to go back to the House of Commons to be passed by them again. Theoretically it could bounce back and force between houses for a while.
> 
> So, same-sex marriage is still pretty far from legal, but it's closer than it's ever been in the UK.



even then like it doesnt really affect me that much, but any way woo i guess

altho like, i love hopw some dumb people are like "Slippery slope! Polygamy!!" which is like saying eating ham could lead to cannibalism.

and thats dumb anyway because i literally see nothing wrong with polygamy either. and funny the choice wording is polygamy, not polyandry. because the stigma lies with some weird religious sexist dude having 5 wives, rather than a group of individuals being happy in love and supportive of each other.



Jarrad said:


> How are you feeling today? Like a T, B, G, or S? It must be whatever way the wind blows with you, eh?



FUN FACT: Sexuality is fluid, because over time people change in tastes, and explore new genders, body types and fetishes they enjoy.

dont flippantly disregard someone as confused or immature simply because they're being human and changing.


----------



## Prof Gallows

Jarrad said:


> How are you feeling today? Like a T, B, G, or S? It must be whatever way the wind blows with you, eh?



You need to quit with comments like this.

Also, if anyone feels that someone is being rude, report it


----------



## Jinglefruit

Jas0n said:


> Not quite.
> 
> The House of Commons has approved the Marriage Equality bill but it's only on the second reading in the House of Lords. If it passes the third reading in the House of Lords then same-sex marriage will become legal.
> 
> They have until the end of July to make a decision, that's assuming that the House of Lords doesn't make any amendments to the bill, in which case it'll have to go back to the House of Commons to be passed by them again. Theoretically it could bounce back and force between houses for a while.
> 
> So, same-sex marriage is still pretty far from legal, but it's closer than it's ever been in the UK.



Well I'm misinformed then. Politics goes straight over my head.


----------



## gorgonara

ON A DIF NOTE THO

Would i be weird in saying that ladies are sometimes more fluid/comfy with their sexuality than dudes? Like i know lots of girls that freely dabble around, change, and make exceptions. and i dont see this nearly as much in boys for whatever reason.

This is like a super sweeping generalization but i see it in my personal life quite a bit. like my internet friends change quite a bit, both my sisters have expressed change and stuff, and my two and only best friends have weird sexualities and change n junk. And im the same but i dont really see other boys doing that.  idk maybe its just me.

but then again i dont really have any male friends.

or even really know any queer boys.


----------



## Bambi

gorgonara said:


> ON A DIF NOTE THO
> 
> Would i be weird in saying that ladies are sometimes more fluid/comfy with their sexuality than dudes? Like i know lots of girls that freely dabble around, change, and make exceptions. and i dont see this nearly as much in boys for whatever reason.
> 
> This is like a super sweeping generalization but i see it in my personal life quite a bit. like my internet friends change quite a bit, both my sisters have expressed change and stuff, and my two and only best friends have weird sexualities and change n junk. And im the same but i dont really see other boys doing that.  idk maybe its just me.
> 
> but then again i dont really have any male friends.
> 
> or even really know any queer boys.



From what I have seen, this is true. Just from personal experience. I have been intimate with all of my straight girlfriends LOL. I have never seen or heard of my boyfriends or guy friends experimenting with other guys 

I am sure it's just I haven't seen it though, not that it doesn't happen. Maybe not as often though as with ladies?


----------



## Stevey Queen

Jarrad said:


> How are you feeling today? Like a T, B, G, or S? It must be whatever way the wind blows with you, eh?



That post is so old. Why are you bringing it up now? Also, to answer your question I'm feeling G today. I changed again but I have my reasons and it's not because I feel like changing it for fun. I have had complications with my sexuality and religion which is why I changed so much but I'm gay now and forever.


----------



## Jinglefruit

gorgonara said:


> ON A DIF NOTE THO
> 
> Would i be weird in saying that ladies are sometimes more fluid/comfy with their sexuality than dudes? Like i know lots of girls that freely dabble around, change, and make exceptions. and i dont see this nearly as much in boys for whatever reason.
> 
> This is like a super sweeping generalization but i see it in my personal life quite a bit. like my internet friends change quite a bit, both my sisters have expressed change and stuff, and my two and only best friends have weird sexualities and change n junk. And im the same but i dont really see other boys doing that.  idk maybe its just me.
> 
> but then again i dont really have any male friends.
> 
> or even really know any queer boys.




I notice this a lot in groups, everyone is either rigidly straight or rigidly gay. But in private you get different stories. I know a lot of gays who have had sex with women multiple times, and I had a funny moment with one of my straight housemates. So it happens, they just don't talk about it / do it openly it seems. 

Though I know I like both anyway, I notice some days I heavily prefer one gender over another.


----------



## gorgonara

Jinglefruit said:


> I notice this a lot in groups, everyone is either rigidly straight or rigidly gay. But in private you get different stories. I know a lot of gays who have had sex with women multiple times, and I had a funny moment with one of my straight housemates. So it happens, they just don't talk about it / do it openly it seems.
> 
> Though I know I like both anyway, I notice some days I heavily prefer one gender over another.



~*WHACK BALLS FEMINIST/QUEER/GENDER THEORY*~

Because ladies are seen to "have weaker sex drives", aren't men't to instigate sexual contact, or actively pursue men. Or even really demonstrate sexuality, people dont assume they like anything in particular. Hence why sex and the city is considered edgy stuff for american media, and when ladies openly talk about sex toys its funny and cute. People dont really respect female sexuality, so they have a freedom to explore, there's no social pressure of female sexuality, because apparently female sexuality doesn't exist.

Men however are supposedly to have very strong, simple and masculine sexual urges, deviancy or fluidity aren't considered normal. Thus we kind of get a social pressure for men to pursue one form of sexuality, and a set standard of what men should find attractive. Skinny feminine usually white girls with big boobs, anything else is considered a perversion or particular fetish/taste.

And thus when drunk girls make out with their best friends it's nothing serious, but when boys do it's weird.


----------



## oath2order

gorgonara said:


> ~*WHACK BALLS FEMINIST/QUEER/GENDER THEORY*~



What?!


----------



## gorgonara

oath2order said:


> What?!



when

where

why

who


----------



## Souhaiter

http://www.lohud.com/article/201306...l-H-S-cutest-couple-become-Internet-sensation

I don't know if you guys have seen them, but, they're two of my absolute closest friends. (Known 'em since sixth grade~)
They go to my high school, and seeing them at ball alongside me and my own date made my heart just. die. xD
I live in an area where there are a fair amount of people who are homophobic, and I really think this is a great stride in stopping that~ c:
Just.
They make me so happy, and I love them. c:​


----------



## oath2order

Souhaiter said:


> http://www.lohud.com/article/201306...l-H-S-cutest-couple-become-Internet-sensation
> 
> I don't know if you guys have seen them, but, they're two of my absolute closest friends. (Known 'em since sixth grade~)
> They go to my high school, and seeing them at ball alongside me and my own date made my heart just. die. xD
> I live in an area where there are a fair amount of people who are homophobic, and I really think this is a great stride in stopping that~ c:
> Just.
> They make me so happy, and I love them. c:​



YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THEM? That's awesome!


----------



## Sym22

I'm not sure how live this thread is but I'm surprised to find this post on here and I'm glad that I did.
I'm gay and I'm looking for MATURE and FRIENDLY people to add onto my 3DS friends list for Animal Crossing.  If you're mature and friendly then please send me a message with your FC and I'll reply with mine.  Thanks.


----------



## Smokey

Some people I know in person think I'm lesbian. I wouldn't even be surprised if my parents thought that as well. But the weird thing is, any internet friends I have that still think I'm a guy, also think I'm gay. It's like I never have any chances to show off how hetero I can be in any of the said groups. Personally I'll just stick with asexual for now because I'm too young for this.


----------



## chiza

I'm just confused at the moment. I'm not going to push myself to pick a label, even though I know all my friends would be very supportive.

I'm looking for adivice, and I'm sure someone here must have some sort of experience.
My friend is trans* and none of his family are very accepting. The main problem is we go to an all-girls school so I can't really use his prefered pronouns or name, but I do try.
He was outed a few months back, but it never seemed to became a big issue at school 'cause everyone has serious exams at the moment, but then again I probably wouldn't find out 'cause I never hear any of the gossip.
I am being as supportive as possible, using the correct name and pronouns when not at school or his house, and avoiding the wrong ones when the right ones cannot be used.

I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of how I could help him more?


----------



## gorgonara

chiza said:


> I'm looking for adivice, and I'm sure someone here must have some sort of experience.
> My friend is trans* and none of his family are very accepting. The main problem is we go to an all-girls school so I can't really use his prefered pronouns or name, but I do try.
> He was outed a few months back, but it never seemed to became a big issue at school 'cause everyone has serious exams at the moment, but then again I probably wouldn't find out 'cause I never hear any of the gossip.
> I am being as supportive as possible, using the correct name and pronouns when not at school or his house, and avoiding the wrong ones when the right ones cannot be used.
> 
> I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of how I could help him more?



Your doing pretty awesome atm. The best thing you really can do, is just treat the same as before, just with pronoun usage. Being weird and constantly bringing it up, or treating them like a new person is kind of iffy. But yeah, just lots of love, kindness, and pronouns.

If he looks down or bummed though, be extra darling. The first few years of transitioning are extremely rough, especially without family there. And things can go nasty. But tbh your doing pretty stellar.


----------



## Micah

Well, I got outed today. Now I've got wait for the backlash. :/


----------



## oath2order

Micah said:


> Well, I got outed today. Now I've got wait for the backlash. :/



How'd it happen? :/


----------



## Micah

oath2order said:


> How'd it happen? :/


My mom found an LGBT book and my journal. She dumped them on my bed.


----------



## Bacon Boy

Micah said:


> My mom found an LGBT book and my journal. She dumped them on my bed.


Prayin for you, bro. :c Hoping they're not idiots about it.


----------



## Jas0n

Micah said:


> My mom found an LGBT book and my journal. She dumped them on my bed.



Damn, not the best way for her to find out! Make sure you talk to her about it at least.


----------



## Janna

Micah said:


> My mom found an LGBT book and my journal. She dumped them on my bed.



Eek, good luck. :s I hope she'll be understanding!


----------



## Sonicdude41

Micah said:


> My mom found an LGBT book and my journal. She dumped them on my bed.



Ugh, reminds me of when my mom went through my phone and found out that way.  Here's to hoping everything goes over well.  Will keep you in my thoughts.


----------



## Colorflow

Wow, I'm so happy this thread exists. -w-
I've been dealing with feelings of dysphoria for years, now.

At this point, I don't really know if I fully identify as a female. I'm still living as a male (albeit, an awesomely adorable one)
and, due to my emotional capacity and financial needs, I can't sever the ties to my family that would come with doing
something about my gender. I ran away to the city to do that once, before realizing how financially dependent I am on my parents. 

They'd be absolutely devastated, so... despite how much I'd _like_ to explore ways to fix things, I can't.


----------



## MajorD

Nice thread  I grew up in a small, mostly LGB community, didn't hear of many T's, and went through the stages of my mum "coming out" and telling her parents (my grandparents). I know her and her partner have had some horror stories throughout their lives of being in-the-closet L's in a conservative community, but by the time I knew about it (about 6), people were more open-minded. I've never once in my life experienced any hatred directed to me about my mother, so I consider that a good thing - but I know prejudice exists still, and I support the LGBT community often. I also study Psychology and would like to one day offer support from a more "professional" standpoint.

(I do actually have a Dad, who has a wife, and I therefore say I have 3 mums. The more the merrier.)


----------



## the_bria

wow, that's one of the reasons i have never kept a journal or diary.  nobody can read my innermost thoughts and secrets if i don't write them down.

i hope your mother is understanding or at the very least, loving enough to accept you the way you are, even if she doesn't understand.


----------



## Chris

Micah said:


> My mom found an LGBT book and my journal. She dumped them on my bed.



I hope she's understanding. 


I'm quite lucky in that I already know my parents POV on LGBT: they both agree that it's no one's business who other people choose to be with. In that way, I don't feel the need to state my sexuality unless people directly ask (or if I'm interested in someone and decide to make the first move).


----------



## A-kun

I'm straight but I am fully supportive of the community. My mom and my brother are gay, and I love them both very much. I've seen the hardships and discrimination they went through first-hand and it isn't pretty. It was tough seeing my conservative family immediately reject my mother when she came out. It kinda crashed this friendly image I had of my relatives growing up.

My twin brother on the other hand has been very selective on who he told growing up. Now he's much more of a take it or leave it guy, and I totally respect him.

When I got together with my longterm girlfriend now, the first thing I said was, "Look, if you can't even tolerate gay people we will not get along. My family means the world to me and I will not change that for anyone or anything." She is a decent person and accepted them too without hesitation.


----------



## oath2order

Supreme Court just struck down the Defense of Marriage Act and Proposition 8.

Federal benefits and same-sex marriage legal in California


----------



## Liv

Thank you SCOTUS for realizing the love I give is no different than anyone else's.


----------



## Stevey Queen

So do all legally married same sex couples get the same benefits as opposite sex married couples?


----------



## Wish

LoveMcQueen said:


> So do all legally married same sex couples get the same benefits as opposite sex married couples?



Yes.

- - - Post Merge - - -

From Tumblr:
thesockmonkeyrenegade:


lizamineliy:


b1a4gy:


tooyoungforthelivingdead:



Transgender people in Greece are now being rounded up and detained in a continuation of the social cleansing of the “undesirables”.

****.

THIS.

WOW I JUST READ THIS AND A FEW OTHER ARTICLES AND CONDITIONS IN THESE DETAINMENT CAMPS ARE HORRIBLE… THEY’RE ROUNDING UP ANYONE WHO “LOOKS LIKE A MIGRANT” AND DOESN’T HAVE PAPERS, AND ANYONE WHO “LOOKS LIKE A SEX WORKER”, INCLUDING TRANS WOMEN.

ALSO, NEO-NAZISM IS POPULAR AND PUBLIC, BOTH IN GOVERNMENT AND ON THE STREETS

MIGRANT WORKERS ARE PROMISED WAGES, THEN NEVER PAID, AND ARE AFRAID THEY’LL BE KILLED FI THEY PROTEST OR TRY TO ESCAPE- AND THEY’RE RIGHT, COMPANIES OPENED FIRE ON 200 PROTESTING UNPAID WORKERS (AND BY THAT I MEAN SLAVES)

here’s the human rights watch page on the issues, 

THIS IS LITERALLY HOW THE HOLOCAUST BEGAN

Omg…. I had no idea this was happening

Edit: Mother ****er, there is no reason this should have not reblogged with my commentary.

Anyways:

During WWII, very few people knew that the Holocaust was happening, and this is absolutely why we need to keep this in the public eye, so we can prevent the greatest atrocity the world has ever seen from happening ever, ever again. Because contrary to popular belief, we (America) did not enter WWII in order to save Jewish people, we did it because we were attacked at Pearl Harbor and didn’t want our Pacific Island holdings threatened, simple enough. The Russians and American GIs that liberated the camps were actually horrified and astounded to find them, because they had no idea that kind of human extermination had even been going on.

People need to know about this **** happening, or else things could get very ugly very quickly.

source @ tooyoungforthelivingdead


----------



## ben_nyc

gorgonara said:


> Because ladies are seen to "have weaker sex drives", aren't men't to instigate sexual contact, or actively pursue men. Or even really demonstrate sexuality, people dont assume they like anything in particular.



This is harsh, though there's def. truth here.  I don't believe there's a major disparity in sex drives, but men just think about it slightly more.  It's a Alpha Male hallucinogen- if you're straight, you're going to want to pursue her by default.  Women & girls know this; some are put off by it, some req. more attention, some do not even want it but give in.  There's nothing wrong w/ these reactions, it's just socially, we've come to communicate this way.         



gorgonara said:


> Hence why sex and the city is considered edgy stuff for american media, and when ladies openly talk about sex toys its funny and cute.



I never saw a single episode but read about its success.  IMO, people enjoyed this show because these beautiful women were wealthy, somewhat independent minded (due to their wealth), were involved in very funny situations, & enjoyed sex 24/7.  Unfortunately, they're also waaay short of feminist ideals.  The core characters do not represent the majority of women in any way.     



gorgonara said:


> People dont really respect female sexuality, so they have a freedom to explore, there's no social pressure of female sexuality, because apparently female sexuality doesn't exist.



This isn't true.  Women are more independent than ever; present as high political figures, running major corporate entities, leads in more television shows & films...  This independence, this influence passes on to any educated female & in turn, it's only natural that attitudes & personalities evolve for the better.  Is there a balance between men & women?  Not yet, but we're trying to close the distance.  



gorgonara said:


> Men however are supposedly to have very strong, simple and masculine sexual urges, deviancy or fluidity aren't considered normal. Thus we kind of get a social pressure for men to pursue one form of sexuality, and a set standard of what men should find attractive. Skinny feminine usually white girls with big boobs, anything else is considered a perversion or particular fetish/taste.



I sorta agree w/ exception to our standards of the ideal female.  At least in NYC, inter-racial relationships are very common in all shapes & sizes.  Though there's a strong Fashion District here & some women/girls are pressured into model appearances- honestly, if I'm w/ someone that's near obese well... I want you to be healthy so let's work together & fix that.  Will I ever ask: "Why can't you fit in that dress on the runway?"  Sure, if I wanted her to leave me.



gorgonara said:


> And thus when drunk girls make out with their best friends it's nothing serious, but when boys do it's weird.



Yes, drunk or not I agree w/ Bambi that females are more open sexually.  But, straight guys cannot do this.  The only viable scenario is your were DRUNK but I guess you can throw drinking out the window because your male buddies will likely never join you for a glass.  Bear in mind- every sports gathering, beach party, birthday, wedding, BBQ, camping... unless he's family, it's time to stick to club sodas.
_____________________________________________



Micah said:


> Well, I got outed today. Now I've got wait for the backlash. :/



Live strong buddy.  Give it a week to set in & then prime yourself for the most important discussion of your life.  The good news is you've had the practice- this speech has already been revised tons of times for this moment.  If they're unreasonable to the point of verbal abuse & possible violence; don't be a victim.  Always have a Plan B.  Good luck, Micah.


----------



## Ems Miracuem

*Here's something that brightened my day!*

My friend and I (she's bi, I'm lesbian) were doing some late-night island tours. Then this happened:







My friend is also Filipino. In the Philippines, 'tomboy' is used as a (sometimes derogatory) term for a lesbian. 

We couldn't stop laughing!


----------



## ben_nyc

Ems Miracuem said:


> We couldn't stop laughing!



Haha, awesome pic!  Very funny start on your way to the island! (=


----------



## oath2order

Ems Miracuem said:


> *Here's something that brightened my day!*
> 
> My friend and I (she's bi, I'm lesbian) were doing some late-night island tours. Then this happened:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My friend is also Filipino. In the Philippines, 'tomboy' is used as a (sometimes derogatory) term for a lesbian.
> 
> We couldn't stop laughing!



Derogatory? Really? Huh. I never thought of it that way. Well, different cultures I suppose.


----------



## Ems Miracuem

That's what I was told, anyway. 

'Bakla' (which can encompass anything from a slightly feminine gay man to a mtf transsexual) is sometimes derogatory as well.

But really, even 'gay' and 'lesbian' can be used in a derogatory manner. I suppose it's not so much the word itself, but whether people use it in a homophobic way.


----------



## Lucious

I think I'm bisexual. I say ''I think'' because I'm not really sure yet, but I think I am. I am attracted to both girls and boys, right now I'm in a relationship with a boy (I'm a girl, by the way) and it's the best. I love him a lot, so it's not really ''relevant'' for me at the moment. However, even though I'm attracted to girls sexually, I don't think I would want to enter a relationship with one. Which might change if I actually fall in love with one, of course. So I don't really know.


----------



## NDNA_

Personally, I'm gay and I'm very happy that homosexual marriage is legalized in France


----------



## cesium

Pansexual here, wishing my orientational label was more well-known. Thankfully, my parents accepted me with open arms. My extended family, however, does not speak to me. A good friend of mine became homeless as a result of coming out to her parents, so I am very grateful.

If you ever need to talk about LGBTQ+ issues, or anything at all, please feel free to come to me. I am Safe Space trained by my college to direct you to resources that may help you, and I am very easygoing.


----------



## Qu33n0f1c3

I'm pansexual as well, and I sympathize with wishing more people were aware of what it meant. I'm comfortable with saying I'm bisexual though if someone I'm talking to about it feels confused or out of the loop.


----------



## cesium

Qu33n0f1c3 said:


> I'm pansexual as well, and I sympathize with wishing more people were aware of what it meant. I'm comfortable with saying I'm bisexual though if someone I'm talking to about it feels confused or out of the loop.



Nice, me too.  It took a while before I convinced myself that informally (also) identifying as bi didn't make me a liar, haha.


----------



## Chris

Qu33n0f1c3 said:


> I'm pansexual as well, and I sympathize with wishing more people were aware of what it meant. *I'm comfortable with saying I'm bisexual though *if someone I'm talking to about it feels confused or out of the loop.



Same. If I'm asked about my sexuality, it's usually, "Are you bi?" It's easier to just say yes than explain.

I gave a presentation recently about a novel I was working on, which gave me the chance to explain what pansexual means to my college class. Only one person in the class knows I'm not hetero, so he was the only one who fully understood that I was not only explaining my main character, but myself as well. Oh well. I already revealed in the same presentation that I'd dressed as a guy for seven years, so maybe that was enough confessions for one afternoon.


----------



## bittermeat

I'm so glad we have a thread for these subjects. I'm an eighteen year old male and I've been out for almost a full year now. I don't tend to identify as a bisexual (but it's the easiest way to explain it). I just like who I like, whether they're a girl or boy. Fortunately, I was able to come out to my family easily, even though I still haven't told my father due to the fact that he doesn't care much about me. Joining the GSA (gay straight alliance) at my high school helped me accept and feel comfortable with who I am. If you're school has any clubs or programs like that, I'd recommend joining because it was quite eye-opening and also a very fun experience.


----------



## todokutooru

its quite sad because there are bigger issues in the world than the topic of people's sexualities...let people love who they wanna love.  Mind your own business and if you don't like then turn the other way.


----------



## Stevey Queen

So, on Facebook, a guy posted a pic of him and his bf on skype. Then this no-life drugged up loser comes and literally has a 200+ comment conversation expressing his hatred for homosexuals. It was just so freakin disgusting. I wanted to hurt him so bad. He was such an idiot. I couldn't even report him because Facebook doesn't have an option for offensive comments.


----------



## MadCake

And that's why I never use facebook.
Too young, Anyway

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, You had to pay 30 cents to join.
What kind of scam is this?! D:


----------



## oath2order

MadCake said:


> And that's why I never use facebook.
> Too young, Anyway
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also, You had to pay 30 cents to join.
> What kind of scam is this?! D:



30 cents to join what?


----------



## Bubblecraft

LoveMcQueen said:


> So, on Facebook, a guy posted a pic of him and his bf on skype. Then this no-life drugged up loser comes and literally has a 200+ comment conversation expressing his hatred for homosexuals. It was just so freakin disgusting. I wanted to hurt him so bad. He was such an idiot. I couldn't even report him because Facebook doesn't have an option for offensive comments.



It's best to ignore people like this. He needs to channel that hate into something productive.

Oh yeah, this is my first post in this topic. I am gay and I'm here if anyone wants to talk about anything! 
I came out to my family 2-3 years ago and it was very well received by them and my community. I've personally never had any trouble with being gay or being bullied for being gay.  I'm a really passionate activist though! Look forward to getting to know you all!


----------



## MadCake

Oh, I tried to reply to someone who mentioned Animal crossing community.
The post became merged. FAIL.


----------



## Jas0n

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10180552/Gay-marriage-clears-the-House-of-Lords.html

The House of Lords has passed gay marriage! The Queen needs to give her approval now and gay marriage will be legal in the UK.


----------



## Terabyte

-deleted by me-


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> Oh gosh, I'm going to be flamed... I do not hate gays, I love them just as much as anyone else. But I have to say that I do find it a sin because the Bible says so... But nah, I'd never ignore or dislike someone because of it. Most Christians are like, "Disgusting sinners are going to Hell!!!" But obviously that's not the right attitude. Respect everyone, man.



Nowhere in the bible, old or new, does it say that being gay is a sin. I think you need to study your religion more closely.


----------



## Wondrous

i'm the Q. lol. pansexual. everybody who finds out is like '...so your attracted to pans..?'

...yep. you caught me.


----------



## Sonicdude41

I'm starting to become confused about where I stand in terms of my sexuality now.  I mean, I currently identify as gay, but some recent realizations have made start to wonder if I'm asexual.  I mean, I know I still like guys and all, but... I find I enjoy the mushier aspects of a relationship more than anything else.  Heck, even the thought of potentially dating a woman has even come up... which is perhaps the most confusing thing out of all of this.  

While I'm not quite sure how to feel, I can certainly say my research into asexuality lately has made me more aware of the fluidity of sexuality.


----------



## Chris

Jas0n said:


> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10180552/Gay-marriage-clears-the-House-of-Lords.html
> 
> The House of Lords has passed gay marriage! The Queen needs to give her approval now and gay marriage will be legal in the UK.



Woo!! ^^

I'm now wondering how long it will be until two of my friends get engaged. They've been dating for six years and have both made it quite clear they want to marry, rather than get a civil partnership. 





0wls said:


> i'm the Q. lol. pansexual. everybody who finds out is like '...so your attracted to pans..?'
> 
> ...yep. you caught me.



Cookware is just so sexy.  





Sonicdude41 said:


> I'm starting to become confused about where I stand in terms of my sexuality now.  I mean, I currently identify as gay, but some recent realizations have made start to wonder if I'm asexual.  I mean, I know I still like guys and all, but... I find I enjoy the mushier aspects of a relationship more than anything else.  Heck, even the thought of potentially dating a woman has even come up... which is perhaps the most confusing thing out of all of this.



It's possible to be romantically attracted to a person without sexual attraction. Some people identify as things like "biromantic asexuals" and things like that. Take a look at the Asexual Visibility & Education Network if you haven't already. 

I was convinced until I was 20 that I was asexual - but there was no limit to who I was attracted to romantically. Even the idea of being involved sexually grossed me out and wrecked my relationships. I was in a celibate 2-3 year relationship in my late teens - I really did love him, but there was no sexual attraction. Of course we tried to go further, but it just felt wrong. The same applies to the (short) relationships that followed that one. I thought I was broken, haha. But it turned out I really did just need to find the right person.  Unfortunately, the right person had to leave the country the day after we met.


----------



## Jizg

Tina said:


> I was convinced until I was 20 that I was asexual - but there was no limit to who I was attracted to romantically. Even the idea of being involved sexually grossed me out and wrecked my relationships. I was in a celibate 2-3 year relationship in my late teens - I really did love him, but there was no sexual attraction. Of course we tried to go further, but it just felt wrong. The same applies to the (short) relationships that followed that one. I thought I was broken, haha. But it turned out I really did just need to find the right person.  Unfortunately, the right person had to leave the country the day after we met.



First off I'm sorry to hear they had to leave :c

Second I'd just like to say that the right person thing is true for sure. My current girlfriend described things similarly to how you did and says she only started feeling these things after meeting me. Err, not to sound like I'm bragging...just figured I'd report other people feel your feels too. ^^;

And third I hope everyone in this thread is happy and safe! A dear friend of mine was disowned by his parents for his sexuality and I worry about him a lot. He has a home for the time but its kind of shaky. It makes me very sad that stuff like this happens at all...


----------



## Chris

Jizg said:


> First off I'm sorry to hear they had to leave :c
> 
> Second I'd just like to say that the right person thing is true for sure. My current girlfriend described things similarly to how you did and says she only started feeling these things after meeting me. Err, not to sound like I'm bragging...just figured I'd report other people feel your feels too. ^^;
> 
> And third I hope everyone in this thread is happy and safe! A dear friend of mine was disowned by his parents for his sexuality and I worry about him a lot. He has a home for the time but its kind of shaky. It makes me very sad that stuff like this happens at all...



It's not as bad as it could have been. We made the most of the couple of hours we had and we're still in touch. If I had a do-over of the day we were together I wouldn't do anything differently. 

I wouldn't class that as bragging if it's a fact. x) Do you mind if I ask how old you and your girlfriend are?

Sorry to hear about your friend. .___. I had a friend back when I was 15/16 who was forced to leave the school because he was being jumped everyday, but he at least had his mother's support. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to be disowned. :/


----------



## Terabyte

-deleted by me-


----------



## MadCake

I'm not Bi, And I think Bisexual marriage should be welcomed. I have a friend who said she was bisexual, She told me so, And apparently she gets called "Hoe". I miss back then when we didn't give a damn about sexual relations and just played in the sandbox and cared more about Mario Kart. But hey, That's middle school for ya.


----------



## Terabyte

-removed by me-


----------



## oath2order

Bisexual marriage is the same as heterosexual marriage/same-sex marriage... :/


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> There is a verse that says "A man shall not lie with another man as he does a woman. It is an abomination.". I don't really want to get caught up in this though...



I know of the verse, and I believe you are interpreting it incorrectly. You need to take into consideration the context of the verse. As I said, if you study up on the verse itself you will see that in many, many interpretations it does not refer to homosexuality.

Besides, even if the verse was referring to homosexuality, the verse is from the old testament of Leviticus. If you're following the teachings that homosexuality is sin then you should be everything else the book of Leviticus teaches... which wouldn't make you a very good person at all. Quite the opposite in fact.


----------



## Terabyte

-doesn't need to be here-


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> To be fair the term 'homosexual' wasn't there in Biblical days. But you do have a point. But I'm still going to stick with the Bible, which clearly says that men and women were created for each other, and there are a couple things in the new testament which talk against it. But I do think that everyone should be treated equally, I don't think any homosexual person should be treated differently. It's really not anyone else's business. :/



Ok, I'm perfectly fine with you sticking to the bible. Please then follow all of these other teachings:


Spoiler



- Matthew 6:19 "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal"
- Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
- Mark 12:19 "Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man's brother die, and leave his wife behind him, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother." 
- Leviticus 19:19 "You are to keep my statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together."
- Leviticus 11:10 "But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you."

- Leviticus 26:27-30 "If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over. You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters."



This means that:
- You should not own anything.
- You have committed adultery if you so much as look at a woman.
- You must have sex with your brother's wife if your brother dies.
- You cannot wear mixed fabric clothes, such as polyester.
- You cannot eat shellfish.

If you break any of these rules (or any of the many others that I have not listed here), you are required to eat the flesh of your children.

If you do not agree with these teachings, and you do not follow them, then you have no justification for following the "gay hating" teachings either. You simply must admit that it is you who has a problem with homosexuality and nothing to do with your religion.


----------



## Terabyte

-I was young and immature-


----------



## eyeplaybass

Jas0n said:


> Ok, I'm perfectly fine with you sticking to the bible. Please then follow all of these other teachings:
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> - Matthew 6:19 "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal"
> - Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
> - Mark 12:19 "Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man's brother die, and leave his wife behind him, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother."
> - Leviticus 19:19 "You are to keep my statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together."
> - Leviticus 11:10 "But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you."
> 
> - Leviticus 26:27-30 "If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over. You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters."
> 
> 
> 
> This means that:
> - You should not own anything.
> - You have committed adultery if you so much as look at a woman.
> - You must have sex with your brother's wife if your brother dies.
> - You cannot wear mixed fabric clothes, such as polyester.
> - You cannot eat shellfish.
> 
> If you break any of these rules (or any of the many others that I have not listed here), you are required to eat the flesh of your children.
> 
> If you do not agree with these teachings, and you do not follow them, then you have no justification for following the "gay hating" teachings either. You simply must admit that it is you who has a problem with homosexuality and nothing to do with your religion.



This this this! All of this!

As someone who grew up in a home with a parent who is a minister, I'm all too familiar with the "Gay is a sin" line. But I don't think that's right. For one thing, I think a lot of the "rules" set fourth by biblical authors were simply cultural limitations more than anything. On top of everything Jas0n has posted, I will add that it would also be "sinful" for a widowed woman to remarry (even though in biblical times, noble men often had multiple wives and large groups of concubines), and it would be "sinful" and considered adultery to marry a divorced woman (but it also doesn't mention that a divorced man cannot remarry). Notice the blatant sexism here? Not really malicious, but cultural for the time; the same, I believe, is the issue with homosexuality, that religious types like to ignore to mask their homophobia. 

Also, I read that in two of the more potent "anti-gay" bible passages that people like to use (1 Cor. 6:9 and 1 Tim. 1:10) where Paul writes about "men who have sex with men" being sinners, the words that he uses in the Hebrew actually translate more accurately to "male prostitute." (source: http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/ask-a-gay-christian-response this is actually an article about a gay Christian who is quite interesting.) And I would argue that in the Christian religion, prostitutes of either gender would be a no no for men to sleep with.

 You also have to put into perspective that at the time Paul was building these churches, he was working with pagans who had temples full of prostitutes and had sexual rituals as part of their religious cerimonies. Obviously, this would be a tough habit to break, and Paul had to put an end to it somehow. 

Just some things to keep in mind. 

P.S. I'm a straight christian, engaged to a DIVORCED woman. Oh, and I support gay marriage fully. I think by a lot of conservative Christian standards, I'm quite a sinner.


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> Yes, we all sin, I know. We were born in it, we have no choice. And have I really not made it clear that I don't hate gay people?



It just baffles me why you feel the need to call out that people who are gay are sinners yet none of the other things I mentioned. The word "sin" automatically implies a feeling of hate, or at least disapproval. It makes many people who are in the group you are calling out as "sinners" feel belittled and worthless. Whether you hate the group or not, it doesn't change the fact that it is disrespectful and hurtful to a lot of people.

I have nothing against religion, but singling one archaic ruling from thousands of years ago and none of the others, even ones from the same book, seems a little contradictory and leads me to believe that, as I said, it is you who has the problem with homosexuality and has nothing to do with your religion.

I don't want to get into religious debate. I'm simply trying to make you understand that it is your viewpoint, regardless of how harmless you think it is, that is harming the lives of millions of people and there is absolutely no need for such a viewpoint to be enforced when there are countless others from the same religious works that were abandoned long ago. Not to mention that those which were abandoned are much clearer on their definitions than the loosely worded "anti-homosexuality" writings, which many believe not to be so anyway.


----------



## Terabyte

-bye bye posts by me on this thread-


----------



## eyeplaybass

PokemonBoy said:


> I never said what you pointed out wasn't sin, I do indeed think so. But that is a whole other topic, but I was discussing homosexuality because that's the topic. Like I said, I was more than likely going to get flamed. And I'm not harming millions of lives by saying I don't agree with it. If I met a gay person, I wouldn't treat them differently and talk to them like anyone else. I am in NO support of bullying homosexuals. Everyone takes not agreeing with it as hate speech... Mordecai > Rigby.



The problem that you get though with this is that gay rights in our society are now being equated to civil rights. A lot of people who are pro gay rights will see "I think homosexuality is wrong, but just because I disagree with it, I'm not preaching hate" as equivalent with "I think *being black* is wrong, but just because I disagree with it, I'm not preaching hate." You can obviously see where there might be a problem there.

I'm not saying I agree with one side or the other on the disagree/hate-speech topic, just pointing it out.

Point is, it's ok to have opinions and to voice them. The problem is that being anti-homosexual is becoming on par with being racist in the world we live in now, and obviously most people think that you should not be entitled to your opinion or your right to voice it if it's racist.


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> I never said what you pointed out wasn't sin, I do indeed think so. But that is a whole other topic, but I was discussing homosexuality because that's the topic. Like I said, I was more than likely going to get flamed. And I'm not harming millions of lives by saying I don't agree with it. If I met a gay person, I wouldn't treat them differently and talk to them like anyone else. I am in NO support of bullying homosexuals. Everyone takes not agreeing with it as hate speech... Mordecai > Rigby.



You may think so, but if this thread was about how delicious shellfish was would you come in here immediately and say "Eating shellfish is a sin! I don't agree with it, but I guess it's fine if you eat it..." I somehow doubt that would be the case. You even said that EVERYBODY is a sinner, so WHY do you need to point out specifically that gay people are sinners?

You are harming millions of lives by saying that you don't agree with it. The collective whole of everybody that doesn't agree with homosexuality is what's stopping homosexuals getting the same rights as everybody else. You are a contribution in that whole and you need to take responsibility for that. I have a hard time believing that you are as okay with homosexuality as you say you are when you are contributing to such a cause.

I agree with eyeplaybass that you are indeed entitled to your opinion, but when that opinion is harmful to many people I am going to speak up about it.


----------



## Annamal

eyeplaybass said:


> The problem that you get though with this is that gay rights in our society are now being equated to civil rights. A lot of people who are pro gay rights will see "I think homosexuality is wrong, but just because I disagree with it, I'm not preaching hate" as equivalent with "I think *being black* is wrong, but just because I disagree with it, I'm not preaching hate." You can obviously see where there might be a problem there.
> 
> I'm not saying I agree with one side or the other on the disagree/hate-speech topic, just pointing it out.



Actually, I am not looking to get bashed, although I am more than sure I will RigBE, but actually, that's not a very good equivalent, because being black is not a sin, as to where, being homosexual is. I am more than positive being homosexual is a sin, but I do not hate homosexual people at all, I just do not like sin. If a homosexual were to talk to me, it's not like I would just run off, I would reply as if it were anyone else. What I have a problem with, is that whether it's on Instagram, Facebook, on here, etc, everybody will post giant things about how being homosexual is okay, but when Christians reply, they're like (I am basing this off of what happened to me with a famous person I liked on Instagram, mainly) "Oh, that's okay, everyone has their own opinions, just keep yours to yourself.". I mean, you're allowed to post pictures or huge statuses about your opinion, but we're not even allowed to reply?! That's what REALLY gets to me. Excuse me, though, if I seem too mad, or anything like that. I am not seeking an argument at all, I am just giving my opinion. I want to meet Blathers.


----------



## Jas0n

In other news...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23338279

Same-sex marriage entering law this week in the UK, with the first marriages expected to take place in Summer 2014


----------



## bittermeat

Jas0n said:


> Same-sex marriage entering law this week in the UK, with the first marriages expected to take place in Summer 2014


Wow, that's amazing. Y'all are very fortunate


----------



## eyeplaybass

Annamal said:


> Actually, I am not looking to get bashed, although I am more than sure I will RigBE, but actually, that's not a very good equivalent, because being black is not a sin, as to where, being homosexual is. I am more than positive being homosexual is a sin, but I do not hate homosexual people at all, I just do not like sin. If a homosexual were to talk to me, it's not like I would just run off, I would reply as if it were anyone else. What I have a problem with, is that whether it's on Instagram, Facebook, on here, etc, everybody will post giant things about how being homosexual is okay, but when Christians reply, they're like (I am basing this off of what happened to me with a famous person I liked on Instagram, mainly) "Oh, that's okay, everyone has their own opinions, just keep yours to yourself.". I mean, you're allowed to post pictures or huge statuses about your opinion, but we're not even allowed to reply?! That's what REALLY gets to me. Excuse me, though, if I seem too mad, or anything like that. I am not seeking an argument at all, I am just giving my opinion. I want to meet Blathers.



What it really comes down to in that case is the question of if homosexuality is a choice or not. I'll bet anything any one of the openly gay folk here will tell you they didn't make the choice. They are what they are. Same thing with being black; we're taking rights and judging for something people cannot change about themselves. And how can we judge someone for something they didn't choose and start throwing the word "sinner" around like it's harmless? If you're a true Christian, do what Jesus would have you do and leave the judging to God. Your job is to love your fellow man, to be an example of Christ on Earth.


----------



## Liv

eyeplaybass said:


> If you're a true Christian, do what Jesus would have you do and leave the judging to God. Your job is to love your fellow man, to be an example of Christ on Earth.



Very well said, practice what you preach.


----------



## Annamal

eyeplaybass said:


> What it really comes down to in that case is the question of if homosexuality is a choice or not. I'll bet anything any one of the openly gay folk here will tell you they didn't make the choice. They are what they are. Same thing with being black; we're taking rights and judging for something people cannot change about themselves. And how can we judge someone for something they didn't choose and start throwing the word "sinner" around like it's harmless? If you're a true Christian, do what Jesus would have you do and leave the judging to God. Your job is to love your fellow man, to be an example of Christ on Earth.


I do believe that it is a choice, because I have proof that is related to me. I do think that people could change it with the help of Christ. I don't think you can compare being black to being homosexual. That does not make sense to me at all. Being black is how one is born, and they can't help it. Being black is not a sin, as to where, being homosexual is. It says in the Bible, "Man shall not lay with another man as he does a women." And that means being homosexual is not allowed. Being black IS allowed. It simply does not compair. As I said before, I'm sorry if I sound rude, and I am not looking to get bashed, or have an argument.


----------



## Terabyte

-deleted by me-


----------



## Bambi

Annamal said:


> I do believe that it is a choice, because I have proof that is related to me. I do think that people could change it with the help of Christ. I don't think you can compare being black to being homosexual. That does not make sense to me at all. Being black is how one is born, and they can't help it. Being black is not a sin, as to where, being homosexual is. It says in the Bible, "Man shall not lay with another man as he does a women." And that means being homosexual is not allowed. Being black IS allowed. It simply does not compair. As I said before, I'm sorry if I sound rude, and I am not looking to get bashed, or have an argument.



I was going to type up something long but honestly there is no point arguing with ignorance.


----------



## Jas0n

Bambi said:


> I was going to type up something long but honestly there is no point arguing with ignorance.


Mhmm I figured I could inspire some motivation to rethink opinions, but unfortunately the ignorance is too strong.



PokemonBoy said:


> If a gay person commits suicide over me saying I don't agree with them than it's their problem.


I have no words :l


----------



## Jinglefruit

Annamal said:


> I do believe that it is a choice, because I have proof that is related to me. I do think that people could change it with the help of Christ. I don't think you can compare being black to being homosexual. That does not make sense to me at all. Being black is how one is born, and they can't help it. Being black is not a sin, as to where, being homosexual is. It says in the Bible, "Man shall not lay with another man as he does a women." And that means being homosexual is not allowed. Being black IS allowed. It simply does not compair. As I said before, I'm sorry if I sound rude, and I am not looking to get bashed, or have an argument.



I do now have to ask you when you chose to be Straight? 
And surely if you chose to be straight that requires you to admit that you were inherently born bisexual/whatever else and chose later. And in that case I pity you for feeling you needed to reject an aspect of yourself due to social norms/religion.

EDIT: I'm not usually one to get into these debates, but I feel everyone who believes this needs to answer that.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Jas0n said:


> Nowhere in the bible, old or new, does it say that being gay is a sin. I think you need to study your religion more closely.



Actually it does mention homosexuality in 1 Corinthians, which is in the New Testament. It's 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. It says that homosexuals will not make it into heaven because it is a sin. I hate when people say it's not mentioned in the bible because it is. It's as clear as day, right there for anyone to see.

I'm gay and I don't even deny it's a sin. It all just comes down to whether or not you believe in the religion or not. I tried to be a Christian once but I couldn't stop being gay so I just stopped. So I don't really believe you can change your sexuality but I'm not against the idea. I just can't do it myself.


----------



## Jas0n

LoveMcQueen said:


> Actually it does mention homosexuality in 1 Corinthians, which is in the New Testament. It's 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. It says that homosexuals will not make it into heaven because it is a sin. I hate when people say it's not mentioned in the bible because it is. It's as clear as day, right there for anyone to see.
> 
> I'm gay and I don't even deny it's a sin. It all just comes down to whether or not you believe in the religion or not. I tried to be a Christian once but I couldn't stop being gay so I just stopped. So I don't really believe you can change your sexuality but I'm not against the idea. I just can't do it myself.



No, it is not in the bible. The verse you quoted is a mis-translation.

The verse you're referring to is often mis-translated as:
 "Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality,"

When the actual translation is:
"Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or are abusers of themselves with mankind"

The greek word that's mistranslated is "arsenokoitais", it's a very uncommon slang word. You need to take into consideration the context of the word used in the sentence. The sentence refers, in most translations, largely to prostitution, thievery and drunkards. Homosexuality makes no sense being thrown in with those, but the other translation(s) make much more sense.


----------



## Gizmodo

Oh god i dont even want to read through this thread, if there is any bigoted posts  I'm completely supportive of any sexualities, and all those who are transgender.. i just find it so sad, that things such as sexuality still need to be debated and argued about, i just don't see the point :/ when will we move on and just accept everyone from who they are, and for sexuality to not be seen as such an important thing as it is, its really not that big of a deal imo 

- - - Post Merge - - -

And i just dont get the whole "choice" argument, why would anyone choose to be discriminated against in society willingly


----------



## Jas0n

Gizmodo said:


> Oh god i dont even want to read through this thread, if there is any bigoted posts  I'm completely supportive of any sexualities, and all those who are transgender.. i just find it so sad, that things such as sexuality still need to be debated and argued about, i just don't see the point :/ when will we move on and just accept everyone from who they are, and for sexuality to not be seen as such an important thing as it is, its really not that big of a deal imo
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> And i just dont get the whole "choice" argument, why would anyone choose to be discriminated against in society willingly



Hey, welcome to the thread! Please don't be scared off from the last few pages. The majority of the first 35 pages is nothing but support and discussion for the LGBT community.


----------



## Gizmodo

Jas0n said:


> Hey, welcome to the thread! Please don't be scared off from the last few pages. The majority of the first 35 pages is nothing but support and discussion for the LGBT community.



Is there room for people who identify as Asexual in here


----------



## RedNoverian

Hey everyone. 

I'm just going to ignore the religious stuff because it's honestly not worth arguing over. People are just going to continue to be bigoted while pretending to love our depraved souls.

Anyway, I identify as queer, but I've always had relationships with people of the same sex. I'm very delighted to see this thread as someone who just joined because I was not sure what kind of environment this forum contained.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Jas0n said:


> No, it is not in the bible. The verse you quoted is a mis-translation.
> 
> The verse you're referring to is often mis-translated as:
> "Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality,"
> 
> When the actual translation is:
> "Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or are abusers of themselves with mankind"
> 
> The greek word that's mistranslated is "arsenokoitais", it's a very uncommon slang word. You need to take into consideration the context of the word used in the sentence. The sentence refers, in most translations, largely to prostitution, thievery and drunkards. Homosexuality makes no sense being thrown in with those, but the other translation(s) make much more sense.



I don't get it so I'm not gonna continue this conversation. My bible says homosexuality and every other bible I've read says it too so that's just gonna have to be the way it is for now until someone other then a TBT member makes it clear to the world. It really doesn't even matter to me. I don't really care what the bible says anymore. I no longer have a religion.


----------



## Jas0n

LoveMcQueen said:


> I don't get it so I'm not gonna continue this conversation. My bible says homosexuality and every other bible I've read says it too so that's just gonna have to be the way it is for now until someone other then a TBT member makes it clear to the world. It really doesn't even matter to me. I don't really care what the bible says anymore. I no longer have a religion.



Feel free to google it. There are many scholars who translate it differently, and more correctly. There's a lot of information out there if you're willing to research.


----------



## Sporge27

LoveMcQueen said:


> I don't get it so I'm not gonna continue this conversation. My bible says homosexuality and every other bible I've read says it too so that's just gonna have to be the way it is for now until someone other then a TBT member makes it clear to the world. It really doesn't even matter to me. I don't really care what the bible says anymore. I no longer have a religion.


Well there is the thought it could have been mistranslated from the greek version, which is entirely posible, things tend to degrade over time as slang terms go in and out of use.  I mean gay used to mean happy... I could see some scholars pointing to 50's Christmas songs in a thousand years assume it showed early support for the movement 50some years later... yeah.  Also ancient aliens.

That being said even if it is a sin, so is regular sex, so is eating pork and shellfish, so is hitting anyone out of anger, so is a ton of things.  I thought the whole point of Christianity was realizing everyone has sin and learning forgiveness for those sins.  

That said I suppose I don't think it is wrong at all.  I don't think a lot of things the bible says are wrong are.  Anything that helps some people get by without hurting anyone should not be considered a bad thing.  I love my guy and I really don't know what I would do without him at this point.  If that is somehow wrong in the eyes of a god, that is no god of mine.


----------



## Chris

Gizmodo said:


> And i just dont get the whole "choice" argument, why would anyone choose to be discriminated against in society willingly



Actually many people do make choices that will give others reason to discriminate against them, knowing full well it will happen - but sexuality isn't a means used in doing so. x)


I feel like the religious debate has thrown off this thread's overall tone.


----------



## Gizmodo

Tina said:


> Actually many people do make choices that will give others reason to discriminate against them, knowing full well it will happen - but sexuality isn't a means used in doing so. x)
> 
> *
> I feel like the religious debate has thrown off this thread's overall tone.*



From reading through the thread though, everyone else seems really supportive


----------



## Jake

i'm gay


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## Terabyte

-deleted by me-


----------



## oath2order

PokemonBoy said:


> Regular sex is okay as long as you're married I believe. There is a difference between living in sin and sinning and asking for forgiveness. If a person is alcoholic and asks for forgiveness each night, but then still drinks the next day, he probably won't go to heaven. As for the bolded part, we are. And I have been. I'm not going to say I agree with it, but I *still love you as I would anyone else*. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't have the right to, because they are not me.



Would you support same-sex marriage then?


----------



## Terabyte

-bye post-


----------



## bittermeat

Can we please black away from all the religious debate?


----------



## Terabyte

-forget about my posts here-


----------



## RedNoverian

No, I'm not kidding PokemonBoy.

Being queer is a huge part of my identity and if you "love" me like you say you do, you'd support EVERY part of me. I don't want to hear your bigotry in disguise of your religion.

I joined this thread in hopes of discussing other stuff, but like the person above me, I'd much rather continue without the discussion of religion.

^ You're infringing upon my rights. That's kinda bad.


----------



## oath2order

YES.

So, you love us, but you don't think we should have the same rights. Okay.

On a side note to attempt to steer this conversation to a much nicer place in which we stop debating religion, the Queen gave her stamp of approval for same-sex marriage in the UK.

And on another note, in my state (Maryland), Heather Mizeur just announced her run for governorship. She's lesbian, which is why it's relevant here. Apparently, she's literally from the county I live in. There's no way I can't vote for her. Her voting record is awesome.


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> I support same sex couples being able to be together, but as for marriage, I think it's between man and a woman.



Well suck it up because the Queen signed gay marriage into law in the UK!


----------



## Terabyte

-just forget about this-


----------



## oath2order

oath2order said:


> YES.
> 
> So, you love us, but you don't think we should have the same rights. Okay.
> 
> On a side note to attempt to steer this conversation to a much nicer place in which we stop debating religion, the Queen gave her stamp of approval for same-sex marriage in the UK.
> 
> And on another note, in my state (Maryland), Heather Mizeur just announced her run for governorship. She's lesbian, which is why it's relevant here. Apparently, she's literally from the county I live in. There's no way I can't vote for her. Her voting record is awesome.



Can we please change the subject


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> Well you're not me, and apparently you don't know how it is to be a Christian. We go through more hate then gay people. It takes a lot to still love the people who hate us, but we still do it. I'm sure you don't get this kind of hate being homosexual. I'm like the only one here who doesn't support it. I can still not support it while loving you. If my sister turned out to be a serial killer, I'd still love her. I wouldn't love her sin, but I'd love her as a person.



Except people don't choose to be gay, and therefore it is unfair that gay people cannot have the same rights as straight people. Your religious opinion is irrelevant.


----------



## Terabyte

-seriously this is cringe worthy-


----------



## oath2order

PokemonBoy said:


> And we're the bad people?! I've tried to be nice on this thread. The supposedly "tolerant" people are the ones who send death threats to 14 year old girls for supporting traditional marriage and damage vehicles for having 1 Man + 1 Woman stickers on their car! And I'm serious too, I've read stories on both of those! I can say for darn sure I wouldn't do either because you supported gay marriage. I wouldn't care. Just stop being such hypocrites!



We get it. You don't support our equal rights. Please stop posting in this thread. It's for "discussion and support".

NOW IF EVERYBODY ELSE COULD KINDLY CHANGE THE SUBJECT.


----------



## RedNoverian

Are you KIDDING me?

I have received far more persecution as a queer person. I grew up Catholic, so I THINK I know a thing or two about being religious. And let me tell you, YOU are the majority in the United States. YOU are not oppressed because some people on the internet do not like the fact that you discriminate against LGBT people. Have you ever felt scared holding your significant other's hand? Have you had to hide your relationship from your family? Have you worried that you might get fired for your sexuality? We face far more issues than Christians in the US. I am surprised by your audacity to imply that what you experience is anywhere near what I have been through. Has YOUR mother ever called you disgusting for being Christian? I think not!

Yeah, and then you compared my being queer to being a serial killer. Keep it classy.


----------



## Terabyte

-forget about this-


----------



## Bambi

Anyway....This thread is for gay SUPPORT! Not anything else. Soooo...

Way to go Queen!!!!

@Jake - Your the best. I think that should be the argument for anything. 

"I don't support same sex marriage"

"I'm gay"

"I think homosexuals will burn in hell"

"I'm gay"

Then you can go to sleep at night knowing your being YOURSELF and love yourself for who you are and not listen to anyone who says "Why don't you change it and become christian again"

God can suck my big fat wiener if it/he/she thinks being gay is wrong.


----------



## Jas0n

PokemonBoy said:


> And we're the bad people?! I've tried to be nice on this thread. The supposedly "tolerant" people are the ones who send death threats to 14 year old girls for supporting traditional marriage and damage vehicles for having 1 Man + 1 Woman stickers on their car! And I'm serious too, I've read stories on both of those! I can say for darn sure I wouldn't do either because you supported gay marriage. I wouldn't care. Just stop being such hypocrites!



It's the same on both ends boyo. A politician backing gay marriage in the UK was murdered by Christians who don't support it.

Anyway, as oath2order has said many times, we should end the religious discussion here now and I'm not going to contribute anymore to it myself.

To change the subject, let's talk about the strangeness that is bisexuality! I've been casually dating a guy for the first time in my life. It's odd how much it differs to dating a girl, but that's definitely not a bad thing! Any other bisexuals here who've had similar experiences?


----------



## Terabyte

-deleted by me-


----------



## oath2order

I loved Jake's post just right in the middle of everything, lol.


----------



## Gizmodo

How do you feel about someone like me ?
in the bible it states clearly to go forth and multiply, for someone like me who plans to be celibate and never be in a relationship and has no interest in ever doing so, it makes me feel sick, am i commiting sins, ive always wondered this haha


----------



## Terabyte

-deleted by me-


----------



## RedNoverian

No, I could get beat up. I could be killed. You're so ignorant it hurts. I've been threatened holding my significant other's hands!

Why should I tolerate your intolerance anyway?


----------



## Bambi

Jas0n said:


> It's the same on both ends boyo. A politician backing gay marriage in the UK was murdered by Christians who don't support it.
> 
> Anyway, as oath2order has said many times, we should end the religious discussion here now and I'm not going to contribute anymore to it myself.
> 
> To change the subject, let's talk about the strangeness that is bisexuality! I've been casually dating a guy for the first time in my life. It's odd how much it differs to dating a girl, but that's definitely not a bad thing! Any other bisexuals here who've had similar experiences?



Yes actually. The first time I dated a guy it was pretty strange as well (not in a bad way) My first relationship was with a woman and I wanted to spice things up a bit LOL. It was definitely different though. I was more used to an "equal" aspect of things and wasn't used to the opening doors, pulling out chairs, paying for dinners etc. I also found when it came to intimacy I was a lot more self conscious with a guy...


----------



## oath2order

RedNoverian said:


> No, I could get beat up. I could be killed. You're so ignorant it hurts. I've been threatened holding my significant other's hands!
> 
> Why should I tolerate your intolerance anyway?



Can you please stop?


----------



## Prof Gallows

PokemonBoy said:


> Then they'll burn in hell. End of story. I guess I'll go, since I'm obviously not supported. "Equality for all! Teehee!"
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I guess being asexual isn't a sin... I'm not sure, lol.



I would suggest you leave this thread, now. And not post in it anymore.
Because from what I've read so far, you're about a post away from being banned.


----------



## bittermeat

The actual people who belong in this thread don't care if you don't support gay marriage. Eventually, gay marriage is going to be legal in many more places. The world changes, you either choose to adapt to it or you can stay stuck in your traditional idealisms. Whine about it all you want. No one cares.


----------



## RedNoverian

@oathtoorder

Why? I'm merely responding to the stuff he says.

I guess I'm becoming the "Angry Queer".


----------



## Jas0n

Bambi said:


> Yes actually. The first time I dated a guy it was pretty strange as well (not in a bad way) My first relationship was with a woman and I wanted to spice things up a bit LOL. It was definitely different though. I was more used to an "equal" aspect of things and wasn't used to the opening doors, pulling out chairs, paying for dinners etc. I also found when it came to intimacy I was a lot more self conscious with a guy...



Yes exactly! With a girl I'm much more protective and attentive whereas, while I'd like to hold similar roles with a guy, things are compromised to much more equal standings.

I've also noticed that what attracts me to a girl and what attracts me to a guy are completely different. Obviously in a physical aspect but in a personality aspect also.


----------



## oath2order

Jas0n said:


> I've also noticed that what attracts me to a girl and what attracts me to a guy are completely different. Obviously in a physical aspect but in a personality aspect also.



Really? Can you explain on this? I'm a little curious about this.


----------



## Terabyte

-deleted by me-


----------



## Bambi

Jas0n said:


> Yes exactly! With a girl I'm much more protective and attentive whereas, while I'd like to hold similar roles with a guy, things are compromised to much more equal standings.
> 
> I've also noticed that what attracts me to a girl and what attracts me to a guy are completely different. Obviously in a physical aspect but in a personality aspect also.



Me also! I find I care a lot less about personality with women than with men. I HAVE to be with "Nice" guys. But am oh so totally attracted to "bad" girls.


----------



## Prof Gallows

PokemonBoy said:


> I'm sorry you don't agree with my opinions. That's a perfect reason to get banned.



I don't care what your opinions are.
All I care about is that you're coming in here and causing problems. So it'd be smart to stop.


----------



## Jas0n

oath2order said:


> Really? Can you explain on this? I'm a little curious about this.



Well as for initial attraction I think I first notice a girl's personality over her looks, whereas it's opposite with a guy. Similar opposites with personalities. I'm quite the fan of innocent girls but I tend to seek out more strong-willed guys. I quite like to be the "rock" in a relationship with a girl but while in a relationship with a guy I quite like that role being bent sometimes.

These aren't set in stone, I've noticed cases where I've been attracted to somebody who doesn't fit into these standards.

Generally it's kind of hard to explain though, there's kind of a "feeling" where it's just different nuances that attract me to a guy or a girl.


----------



## RedNoverian

^ I have a similar situation.

For guys, I first notice if he's hot/cute or not. For girls, I notice if she simultaneously has a good personality and good looks. 

This is why I don't like being called "gay". I've only dated guys, but I've definitely had crushes and sexual attraction to all gender variations (despite the preference toward men).


----------



## bittermeat

Cool, I'm not the only one.

I tend to like guys based on their cuteness, looks, and manliness. For some reason with men, personality is one of the last things I think about, which sounds like really bad. Haha. I haven't been in a relationship with a guy before, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be the dominant one (lol). When I do like girls, personality is just as important as looks. How a girl holds herself and her attitude are what attracts me. It's more of an emotional thing. When in a relationship with a girl, I feel like I have to be the stereotypical, dominant guy, even though I see men and women in relationships as complete equals.


----------



## g u a v a

I've been looking at this thread for a while now but I've felt a bit terrified about posting in it. I've been on other forums where people got treated quite horribly for having anything to do with gay culture in general. From the looks of it everyone's pretty cool about it here and that's what made me decide to finally post. (Kind of ironic that a couple pages back there was a whole Christian vs. Gay argument.) But anyway.

It's been helpful to me to read a lot of these posts because I myself am going through a strange time in my life where I'm questioning a lot of what I knew about myself. Anyway ^_^;; just wanted to say a little thanks for everyone brave enough to share their situation. It's been extremely helpful for others to know that they're not alone.


----------



## Solar

Mayor Leaf said:


> I've been looking at this thread for a while now but I've felt a bit terrified about posting in it. I've been on other forums where people got treated quite horribly for having anything to do with gay culture in general. From the looks of it everyone's pretty cool about it here and that's what made me decide to finally post. (Kind of ironic that a couple pages back there was a whole Christian vs. Gay argument.) But anyway.
> 
> It's been helpful to me to read a lot of these posts because I myself am going through a strange time in my life where I'm questioning a lot of what I knew about myself. Anyway ^_^;; just wanted to say a little thanks for everyone brave enough to share their situation. It's been extremely helpful for others to know that they're not alone.



I'm also at that awkward time, so let's go through it together ! I'm having some sexuality troubles too. I just don't know whether I'm gay, straight, or bi, or asexual. I just sorta don't know where to go from here though. I'm also glad that religious debate is over. It was uncalled for really. But yeah, i is a confuzzled person.


----------



## Jas0n

Mayor Leaf said:


> I've been looking at this thread for a while now but I've felt a bit terrified about posting in it. I've been on other forums where people got treated quite horribly for having anything to do with gay culture in general. From the looks of it everyone's pretty cool about it here and that's what made me decide to finally post. (Kind of ironic that a couple pages back there was a whole Christian vs. Gay argument.) But anyway.
> 
> It's been helpful to me to read a lot of these posts because I myself am going through a strange time in my life where I'm questioning a lot of what I knew about myself. Anyway ^_^;; just wanted to say a little thanks for everyone brave enough to share their situation. It's been extremely helpful for others to know that they're not alone.



Welcome! No need to feel terrified about posting. Just sorry you had to walk into the thread amongst the debate!

It's awesome that the thread helped you. If I could offer any advice it'd be not to worry too much about answering those questions you have about yourself. There's no rush or indeed any need to define yourself so just live life and let whatever happens, happen.


----------



## Elijo

I have never dated anyone either boy or girl but I support gay marriage. Why do you say? Because people shouldn't judge others by sexuality preferance, that is just rude. Everyone should have the right to marry whoever they desire, doesn't matter what gender.



Mayor Leaf said:


> I've been looking at this thread for a while now but I've felt a bit terrified about posting in it.



I felt the same way Leaf. 
-Kuma-


----------



## Chris

Benmjy said:


> I'm also at that awkward time, so let's go through it together ! I'm having some sexuality troubles too. I just don't know whether I'm gay, straight, or bi, or asexual. I just sorta don't know where to go from here though. I'm also glad that religious debate is over. It was uncalled for really. But yeah, i is a confuzzled person.



I get the impression that many people go through that stage where they're generally unsure - whether or not they find the courage to talk about it. I certainly did. 

My first real crush was on another girl when we were 13. I liked her for years. But that's not what society expects of us, is it? Especially when you live in a small town. I had no one I could talk to about it: the only gay person at my school who was 'out' was being beaten up daily until his mother took him out of school. So when I started dating (age 15) I went out with gents and just tried to ignore my feelings for her. Then, when we were 17, I decided to stop ignoring it and finally tell that girl how I felt. She didn't believe me; she seemed to think I was just trying to play a mind game with her when really I was laying everything out on the table. That hurt so bad. Even then that was the more innocent sort of attraction - romance, rather than lust. 

It took me until I was 20 to be absolutely certain of my sexuality (which I explained here a few pages back, but the religious debate kicked off around the same time).


----------



## Cranky Squirrel

Annamal said:


> I do believe that it is a choice, because I have proof that is related to me. I do think that people could change it with the help of Christ. I don't think you can compare being black to being homosexual. That does not make sense to me at all. Being black is how one is born, and they can't help it. Being black is not a sin, as to where, being homosexual is. It says in the Bible, "Man shall not lay with another man as he does a women." And that means being homosexual is not allowed. Being black IS allowed. It simply does not compair. As I said before, I'm sorry if I sound rude, and I am not looking to get bashed, or have an argument.



I assure you that I was born gay. It wasn't a choice--and  even if it was, it was my choice to make. There are plenty of us who are atheists and find the entire notion of sin to be quite silly. I am not a sinner; I do not accept the concept. I don't need any help from your imaginary friend. If you get to pull the Christ card, I should be able to call you on it without being censored.

- - - Post Merge - - -



PokemonBoy said:


> Well you're not me, and apparently you don't know how it is to be a Christian. We go through more hate then gay people. It takes a lot to still love the people who hate us, but we still do it. I'm sure you don't get this kind of hate being homosexual. I'm like the only one here who doesn't support it. I can still not support it while loving you. If my sister turned out to be a serial killer, I'd still love her. I wouldn't love her sin, but I'd love her as a person.



Seriously? You can cry persecution when gay people abuse their governmental and social power to outlaw your relationships. Until then there is no parity and no reason to act like a martyr. I get it that you think you're being nice, but it seems you think there is a common ground where we all think the concept of sin makes sense and that everyone can at least agree about sins (you can love the sinner and not the sin). I do not accept the concept of sin. It's a religious concept relevant only to people who accept the teachings of the religions who preach it. I am not a Christian and I refuse to be judged by its dogmas and doctrines.


----------



## RedNoverian

So, apparently in Kingston, Canada some local queer people have been receiving threatening letters. They are being asked to leave under the guise of Jesus and threaten to use violence if they don't peacefully cooperate. I found pictures of these letters on Tumblr and I can't find a proper news source. I did find out Kingston is not doing so well in general: http://www.thewhig.com/2012/06/28/gay-couple-feel-targeted

This is Canada, supposedly the promised land for queer people. It's still rife with violence and discrimination. If you even think for a minute that Christians receive anywhere near as much persecution in North America then I have no respect for you.


----------



## NinjanaMin

Im personally hetro but LGBTQA rights is really important to me, I think everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin. 
The world is a horrid place really, no one seems to focus on their lives and seem to prefer condemning others for the way they live.... I think deep down we all know who we are and who has the right to condemn us for being true to ourselves?!?
Knowing that the world is slowly changing in favour of equal rights for all gives me enough strength to get up in the morning!
I actually took a vow to not get married until everyone, no matter of circumstances or orientation has the right to do so!!


----------



## Bambi

NinjanaMin said:


> I actually took a vow to not get married until everyone, no matter of circumstances or orientation has the right to do so!!



I love this idea!!!!


----------



## Sporge27

Don't hold back your own marriage if you can get married and have the right person to marry.  It is unlikely within your lifetime that everyone can get legally married everywhere in the world... may be in the USA but not some places.

That said marriage really should not have been a government issue.  It is really originally a religious one.  That said we do have freedom of religion and some religions are accepting.  I mean there are churches with rainbow signs of support where I live.


----------



## RedNoverian

Marriage predates Christianity or any of the Abrahamic religions... Marriage coming from romantic attraction is a fairly new concept in human history.


----------



## Sean4

Well I never noticed this thread until now, so i'll start reading through it. But just for the heck of it, I thought i'd mention i'm a pansexual boy  (Pans means ALL in simple terms, for those whom don't know.

I'm well.. Half out though, my immediate family knows (parents, brother) Also ALOT.. of friends. ALOT. (Most people assume i'm gay or something anyways) but i'm not really shy anymore if anyone really wants to know just ask the right question. *It's even on my facebook and some people are so dumbfounded when I say oh he's cute! Like really?


----------



## Envy

RedNoverian said:


> Marriage predates Christianity or any of the Abrahamic religions... Marriage coming from romantic attraction is a fairly new concept in human history.



I find it funny exactly how much it has strayed from the Biblical definition(s), yet the only thing that many of these Christians are worried about is two people of the same-sex getting married. Shows where their priorities are - not actually in the Bible, but in their own personal prejudices. Just sayin'.

Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, any religion's definition of marriage is irrelevant to law. Marriage is a legal contract. In speaking of the US, churches have the right to perform their religious marriage ceremonies, and they have the right to accept or deny any requests by couples, no matter for what reason. So, legalizing same-sex marriage really doesn't have any effect on churches. Except for maybe a society beginning to push forward into accepting same-sex marriage, rejecting those churches, but that's their own problem, and is not the "persecution" they so want to claim it to be.


----------



## neverbeenkrissed

has anyone noticed that two of our villagers might be playing for our team ...

Bob: purple cat basically wearing a flowered muumuu (my avatar ... hahaha)
Jane: purple gorilla wearing a rainbow shirt, sort of masculine

not that i'm one to play into stereotypes, but it's fun to think about. also some of the jock personalities looove complimenting the male bodies of other villagers, including mine!


----------



## ben_nyc

NinjanaMin said:


> Knowing that the world is slowly changing in favour of equal rights for all gives me enough strength to get up in the morning!  I actually took a vow to not get married until everyone, no matter of circumstances or orientation has the right to do so!!



Noooo!  Ninjana, don't deny yourself TRUE LOVE!  Yes, perhaps religion isn't important to you, but should you find that special someone, marriage is a sign of the commitment you hold to each other for the rest of your life!  

Equal rights for the world entire will take LIFETIMES!   

The thought is quite noble, Ninjana!  =)  I really hope you reconsider & instead, pledge your support toward any candidates that values Equal Rights running for political office.


----------



## Bambi

neverbeenkrissed said:


> has anyone noticed that two of our villagers might be playing for our team ...
> 
> Bob: purple cat basically wearing a flowered muumuu (my avatar ... hahaha)
> Jane: purple gorilla wearing a rainbow shirt, sort of masculine
> 
> not that i'm one to play into stereotypes, but it's fun to think about. also some of the jock personalities looove complimenting the male bodies of other villagers, including mine!



Ed!!! He is one of my villagers. I think him and Kevin are a couple. Kevin is the butch lol.


----------



## RedNoverian

Penelope and Muffy, man... They used to talk about each other all the time. They would say stuff like "don't tell her about this!" when stating something embarrasing. Just recently, though, Gayle moved into my town and Muffy remarked that she wanted some furniture to impress her. So maybe they broke up. 

I should be getting Zell soon and the obvious pairing there would be Erik and Zell. I think most of the Smug characters are a little bi anyway. I saw a post on Tumblr where a guy is documenting all the times Julian seems to be hitting on him (and it's rather convincing).


----------



## neverbeenkrissed

you are so right about the smug personalities - tex and beardo - i can't even handle it.


----------



## Jinglefruit

RedNoverian said:


> I should be getting Zell soon and the obvious pairing there would be Erik and Zell. I think most of the Smug characters are a little bi anyway. I saw a post on Tumblr where a guy is documenting all the times Julian seems to be hitting on him (and it's rather convincing).



Zell is definitely not straight. He seems to hit on me every so often, all his flattery has definitely earnt him the top spot as my fav villager.
And I should be getting Erik soon, but now you've made me worried Zell might go for someone a little more his species over me. D: Maybe I should stop Erik moving in.


----------



## RedNoverian

I don't think you should.  Erik is such a sweetie. 

Interestingly, I think Muffy has moved on from Penelope. Now she only talks about Gayle, which is a weird combination. A pink alligator and a gothic sheep...


----------



## Midoriya

What does LGBTQA stand for (Sorry if that's a stupid question)?


----------



## Liv

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> What does LGBTQA stand for (Sorry if that's a stupid question)?


It's not a stupid question.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (or Questioning, in some versions) and Allied.


----------



## RedNoverian

The "A" could be "asexual", which I'm a lot more comfortable putting in the label than allies.


----------



## oath2order

RedNoverian said:


> The "A" could be "asexual", which I'm a lot more comfortable putting in the lable than allies.



Does it really matter which it is?

Also, it's "label".


----------



## RedNoverian

For some people it is. It makes me uncomfortable when straight/cis people are put under the LGBT _label_. Thanks for telling me about the misspelling, though, I'm _sure_ it was done out of respect and not trying to embarrass me.


----------



## oath2order

Nah, it's just me being snarky.


----------



## Liv

RedNoverian said:


> The "A" could be "asexual", which I'm a lot more comfortable putting in the label than allies.


Oops, you're right! I always assumed it was allied, but this wouldn't be the first time an assumption of mine was wrong. I'll refer to "A" as allied _or_ asexual from now on to respect those who identify as asexual.


----------



## RedNoverian

@oath2order: I think it's you trying to invalidate my opinion because you don't like it. But I'm going to drop it because I don't want to get into a fight. There are some wonderful allies out there. However, I just think asexuals and other less talked about groups have priority over individuals that are well represented. Since when were allies part of any other minority label anyway? Yes, they can help and aid, but they are not inherently part of said minority.

@Liv: Yes, it could go either way. The label is always changing. Personally, I like the term GSM (gender and sexual minorities) so it includes everyone outside of the cis/heterosexual spectrum.


----------



## Jas0n

People need to stop caring about labels so much. We're all humans, you're not cool or special because you define yourself in a minority.


----------



## RedNoverian

Then why ask what the label means if you have no interest in it? And who on this thread has stated it is "cool" or "special" to be a minority?


----------



## Gizmodo

Being asexual has nveer been understood, it would be nice if it was termed under the umbrella tbh... but thats just what i think..


----------



## RedNoverian

Oh yes I agree! That's why I like "GSM" as a label because it includes everyone. Heck, some people still think the "T" in LGBT is silent.


----------



## Bambi

Gizmodo said:


> Being asexual has nveer been understood, it would be nice if it was termed under the umbrella tbh... but thats just what i think..



I agree with this because it is something even I can not fully understand. I can accept it and not judge it but I can not comprehend how someone couldn't be interested in sex.

Probably cause Im bi too and we are ho's. jkjk


----------



## MadCake

Just to start a new subject..
I think COPPA is bullcrap. I got banned from Wikia's Chat (It was Friendship is Magic wiki's chat), because i was underaged. 
I tried to tell them that it was because i was mature enough, And i had my parents permission. But NOPE, They wouldn't listen, and i got banned for 2 years from chat (I'm 11).


----------



## Bacon Boy

MadCake said:


> Just to start a new subject..
> I think COPPA is bullcrap. I got banned from Wikia's Chat (It was Friendship is Magic wiki's chat), because i was underaged.
> I tried to tell them that it was because i was mature enough, And i had my parents permission. But NOPE, They wouldn't listen, and i got banned for 2 years from chat (I'm 11).


Again, this doesn't prove you're mature. Complaining about being called immature doesn't help your case. Plus, this is a LGBTQA discussion. You can't just "change the subject" in a topic, especially one that's not yours.

I have a question for anyone who's asexual: Do you just not like sex? Or is there a belief system that goes along with it?


----------



## RedNoverian

> I have a question for anyone who's asexual: Do you just not like sex? Or is there a belief system that goes along with it?



Today on Tumblr I saw a person describe their asexuality like a doughnut. You don't necessarily mind eating a doughnut and it feels nice when you do, but you don't crave it like everyone else. This probably doesn't apply to everyone, though. As far as a belief system, I'm pretty sure your thinking of celibacy, which is a religious choice. Asexuality is a legitimate sexual identity. I'm kind of asexual myself, so...


----------



## Burymyconviction

Glad to see that we have an active LGBTQA thread. 

I never really understood the premise of having Trans* people in an umbrella of LGBT however, since their issue is more of a self-gender issue, and less of a sexuality one. Not that I don't support Trans* people, of course I do, I just feel like their issues are so much more extreme than mine could ever be, that I feel bad relating myself in the same umbrella as them. They have it so much harder than I ever could.

Just my 2 cents of course.


----------



## Chris

Bacon Boy said:


> Again, this doesn't prove you're mature. Complaining about being called immature doesn't help your case. Plus, this is a LGBTQA discussion. You can't just "change the subject" in a topic, especially one that's not yours.
> 
> I have a question for anyone who's asexual: Do you just not like sex? Or is there a belief system that goes along with it?



It varies from person to person. Yes, some people just simply dislike sex, but the reasons behind it are limitless. To give a few: 

Some just lack any interest in sex whatsoever - with some people even going as far as having no desire whatsoever to even be in a romantic relationship (usually identifying themselves as 'aromantic asexuals') whereas others can be attracted romantically to people (whether male/female or both) but have no desire to be physically intimate with them. 

There are also some people who are actually repulsed by the idea of sex (and in some cases romance) altogether. However, even with this disgust some of these people still have a sex drive and as a result can become extremely distressed by it.


----------



## ben_nyc

Bacon Boy said:


> I have a question for anyone who's asexual: Do you just not like sex? Or is there a belief system that goes along with it?



IMO, there's just isn't a desire for it.  Some people w/ no prior incidents of sexual abuse & have been in positive relationships before, simply find their lives content & fore-fulled w/out any sexual intimacy.

I don't know anyone that's asexual but it'll be very difficult for me not to express myself sexually- to be intimate & knowing there's a thin border, & how children will need to be conceived through different means.

In the end, if the love is real then nothing else matters.


----------



## Gizmodo

Well for me personally, the thought of even being with someone makes my skin crawl, it physically makes me feel sick, its very weird, i can accept someone for being attractive, and admitt they look good, but to actually think of being with them or doing anything
 makes me feel ill haha

I find myslef too young to even define myself though


----------



## the_bria

Bacon Boy said:


> I have a question for anyone who's asexual: Do you just not like sex? Or is there a belief system that goes along with it?



well, for me, while the thought of sex seems nice, actually having it is just awful.  for a long time i thought my body was just broken.  sometimes i still think that.  i tried going to doctors and talking about it when i was younger but they were no help at all.  all three times they just wrote me off.  
most of the time, i don't really think about it. i don't really care about being in a relationship with anybody. i do like to masturbate, but when someone else is actually involved, any pleasure goes away.  so, i guess i don't really know.  lol.  i call myself asexual cause it's the easiest way to describe myself.


----------



## jmeleigh23

the_bria said:


> well, for me, while the thought of sex seems nice, actually having it is just awful.  for a long time i thought my body was just broken.  sometimes i still think that.  i tried going to doctors and talking about it when i was younger but they were no help at all.  all three times they just wrote me off.
> most of the time, i don't really think about it. i don't really care about being in a relationship with anybody. i do like to masturbate, but when someone else is actually involved, any pleasure goes away.  so, i guess i don't really know.  lol.  i call myself asexual cause it's the easiest way to describe myself.



That's crazy (not in a bad way!!). Earlier this summer, my best friend told me she felt the exact same way and I didn't know what to say to her because I don't share that experience. She says she wants kids and stuff but she said she would so much rather do it on her own if she could financially support herself and a child one day. It's not that I thought it was weird I guess I just didn't really understand. I'm glad to know that she's not the only one who feels this way, I have to let her know she isn't crazy lol.

Anyways, I'm straight, but my sister identified previously as bi and now she identifies as pan. It made me really upset growing up because she tried to hide it from me. I knew anyways, just didn't want to let her know I knew to avoid her discomfort. I have no idea why she would think I'd judge her at all. I have never used sexual orientation as grounds to judge somebody and I never would. I've grown up my entire life thinking gay was perfectly acceptable and still do. My godfather is gay and my godmother is a man (his ex). I saw my godfather and mother a lot growing up so I never even questioned it at all. I consider myself lucky having been exposed to "unconventional" lifestyles/relationships so young, I think a lot of the reason that people are intolerant today is because they have either never seen it or they adopt their family's outlooks and opinions.


----------



## Vida

Nice to see a topic like that.

I'm a bisexual girl. I realized this fairly late (when I was 19) but I'm glad I did  

I actually believe that there are a lot more homo or bisexual people out there who are either in denial about it or who simply haven't realized it.


----------



## Jinglefruit

Vida said:


> I actually believe that there are a lot more homo or bisexual people out there who are either in denial about it or who simply haven't realized it.



That just made me think; Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. xD


----------



## Chris

the_bria said:


> well, for me, while the thought of sex seems nice, actually having it is just awful.  for a long time i thought my body was just broken.  sometimes i still think that.  i tried going to doctors and talking about it when i was younger but they were no help at all.  all three times they just wrote me off.
> most of the time, i don't really think about it. i don't really care about being in a relationship with anybody. i do like to masturbate, but when someone else is actually involved, any pleasure goes away.  so, i guess i don't really know.  lol.  i call myself asexual cause it's the easiest way to describe myself.



I can understand that. I found most interaction with others gross until I found someone I really felt the urge to want to sleep with. I had long-term partners (the longest of my failed relationships being three  years) but had no urge to go further with them. 





Vida said:


> Nice to see a topic like that.
> 
> I'm a bisexual girl. I realized this fairly late (when I was 19) but I'm glad I did
> 
> I actually believe that there are a lot more homo or bisexual people out there who are either in denial about it or who simply haven't realized it.



I wouldn't call 19 late. Age 18-22 (standard college years) are typically the years where people are becoming more certain of themselves, after all.  It took me until I was 20 to be 100% certain of my sexuality, even though I knew from age 13 that I wasn't heterosexual.


----------



## Sleepy

Am I the only one who thinks there are quite a bit of homosexual undertones in Animal Crossing: New Leaf?

And you can not sit there and tell me that Julian is not designed to be a gay villager. I've heard way too many reports of him sending love letters to male mayors and such  

No hate either way


----------



## Jinglefruit

Sleepy said:


> Am I the only one who thinks there are quite a bit of homosexual undertones in Animal Crossing: New Leaf?
> 
> And you can not sit there and tell me that Julian is not designed to be a gay villager. I've heard way too many reports of him sending love letters to male mayors and such
> 
> No hate either way



To be fair, nearly everyone I know playing this game is gay or female. I think Nintendo knows their market. xP

I personally love it when Zell says, "Sly and Broccolo remind me of when I was younger, I used to be quite mischievious with my guy friends." xD


----------



## Bones

It's definitely a lot more open-minded than the previous games, especially given where it originates from and all.

Crossdressing, for instance, while having nothing to do with sexuality (despite popular belief..), is great for LGBT people for a variety of reasons. Either because they're "drag" kings/queens, are two-spirited, or simply don't like dressing in a non-stereotypical fashion. (i.e. society's insistence that females = dress, males = pants, and so on)

But yeah - Julian is definitely flirty towards either sex. And while I'm the last person to claim that being friendly and polite is the same as being flirty.. nobody will ever tell me that he doesn't flirt with literally anyone and everyone. Seriously. 

I got the most frickin' homoerotic letter from him earlier, I had to sit there for like 5 minutes trying to think of how this could possibly be platonic only. lmfao. Now I wish I hadn't deleted it.

But here - here's one example of a more tame yet still _slightly_ flirty letter I got when he first moved in:



> Listen to this, August,
> 
> I had a dream... It had been pouring rain for days. Then the two of us, side by side, both looked up at a rainbow. That's when I knew that I think rainbows are awesome.
> 
> - Julian, rainbow chaser



Now imagine that, but 10x more suggestive and blatantly homoerotic.


----------



## Sleepy

Haha I agree completely. But Julian seems to be that way *really* intentionally. First off, he's a unicorn.. he loves rainbows.. his catchphrase is glitter.

Then you take the homosexual letters and more and there is no way around it 

(is it bad that I really want Julian in my town now?)


----------



## Bones

Maybe if he's meant to be a stereotypical gay male, but otherwise those traits have literally zero affect on one's sexuality. That's just a terrible stereotype that society came up with.

And nah - Julian's awesome. Even if you don't want him around for his charm, he's still a nice friend, too. He just seems like he's one of those guys who - if not interested in you romantically - really likes having a close bromance. (or whatever the male x female equivalent of a bromance is)


----------



## Midoriya

If Julian is a unicorn and a boy then he's probably homosexual.  Now if he was a cool unicorn with sunglasses and was similar to Pegasus, then he would probably be straight.

EDIT: I'm straight, so I'd definitely not want Julian in my town.  Just chiming in my two cents to this conversation.


----------



## Furry Sparks

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> If Julian is a unicorn and a boy then he's probably homosexual.  Now if he was a cool unicorn with sunglasses and was similar to Pegasus, then he would probably be straight.
> 
> EDIT: I'm straight, so I'd definitely not want Julian in my town.  Just chiming in my two cents to this conversation.



What the **** did I just read.

Edit: I'm gay so I definitely don't want no breeders in my town.


----------



## Midoriya

I don't know.  I was just agreeing with what the past couple of posters were talking about.  I'm going to reconsider and say that he could be a good friend in my town.  Maybe I was a little too biased at first, sorry.


But sheesh, don't get so damn defensive.  Also, nice impression with the country accent, but I don't have that.  -_-...  (idiot...)


On topic: can anyone describe to me how someone gets kids if they're asexual?  If it's too inappropriate, then maybe just PM me.  I think it's an interesting procedure in medical science, although I can't remember how they do the operation.


----------



## beebs

Ehh. . . yeah, ACE, but what you said is kind of homophobic. I'm not attacking you, but I'm trying to give you perspective.

I'm straight, but if there was an obviously gay character in ACNL, I would want them in my town! XD


----------



## Midoriya

beebs said:


> Ehh. . . yeah, ACE, but what you said is kind of homophobic. I'm not attacking you, but I'm trying to give you perspective.
> 
> I'm straight, but if there was an obviously gay character in ACNL, I would want them in my town! XD




Perspective understood.  I obviously posted something I didn't really mean, just trying to agree with the others, but I probably should of left that part out.  I'm still wondering about that question I asked above though.  I don't want to completely leave this topic clueless.


----------



## Furry Sparks

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> But sheesh, don't get so damn defensive.  Also, nice impression with the country accent, but I don't have that.  -_-...  (idiot...)



Haha oh god, I was about to reply to this and tell you how surprised and happy I was that you were so willing to change your views and see how what you said was wrong. Plus I can't really be defensive when it was the first thing I even said in the thread and no one was talking to me, if anyone you got defensive.



AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> On topic: can anyone describe to me how someone gets kids if they're asexual? If it's too inappropriate, then maybe just PM me. I think it's an interesting procedure in medical science, although I can't remember how they do the operation.



I... what. WHAT. What do you think being asexual is. Oh god what. Asexual is just having no sexual attraction to any gender. They don't split in two like cells or something. They could have sex. Or adopt.


----------



## Midoriya

Furry Sparks said:


> Haha oh god, I was about to reply to this and tell you how surprised and happy I was that you were so willing to change your views and see how what you said was wrong.
> 
> 
> 
> I... what. WHAT. What do you think being asexual is. Oh god what. Asexual is just having no sexual attraction to any gender. They don't split in two like cells or something. They could have sex. Or adopt.




Aah, ok, I understand that now.  And now I'm embarassed because I've been a total moron in this thread.  Yeah... I'm just going to leave now.


----------



## Gabby

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> I don't know.  I was just agreeing with what the past couple of posters were talking about.  I'm going to reconsider and say that he could be a good friend in my town.  Maybe I was a little too biased at first, sorry.
> 
> 
> But sheesh, don't get so damn defensive.  Also, nice impression with the country accent, but I don't have that.  -_-...  (idiot...)
> 
> 
> On topic: can anyone describe to me how someone gets kids if they're asexual?  If it's too inappropriate, then maybe just PM me.  I think it's an interesting procedure in medical science, although I can't remember how they do the operation.



they like

take a rib from the asexual and put it in a petri dish until its a baby


----------



## g u a v a

Furry Sparks said:


> Haha oh god, I was about to reply to this and tell you how surprised and happy I was that you were so willing to change your views and see how what you said was wrong.
> 
> 
> 
> I... what. WHAT. What do you think being asexual is. Oh god what. Asexual is just having no sexual attraction to any gender. They don't split in two like cells or something. They could have sex. Or adopt.



I believe they might've confused terms. I'm assuming, by their mention of a surgery, that they were asking about how a trans-female would go about having a child.


----------



## beebs

Gabby said:


> they like
> 
> take a rib from the asexual and put it in a petri dish until its a baby



Don't be too hard on the kid. Sometimes you need to ask stupid questions to become better. XD


----------



## Gabby

beebs said:


> Don't be too hard on the kid. Sometimes you need to ask stupid questions to become better. XD



listen man

google exists

that was a very silly question


----------



## Midoriya

Ah, crapppp, no.  People, no.  Just ignore that I even posted.  I'm going to research more about the different labels and then I'll post when I'm not a total moron.


----------



## beebs

Gabby said:


> listen man
> 
> google exists
> 
> that was a very silly question



I agree it's a very silly question, but I also think he meant something else. ACE has aspergers and sometimes doesn't communicate effectively. Regardless, you can be sarcastic, or you can help them improve.

- - - Post Merge - - -



AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> Ah, crapppp, no.  People, no.  Just ignore that I even posted.  I'm going to research more about the different labels and then I'll post when I'm not a total moron.



lol Might be a good idea! XD


----------



## Gabby

beebs said:


> I agree it's a very silly question, but I also think he meant something else. ACE has aspergers and sometimes doesn't communicate effectively. Regardless, you can be sarcastic, or you can help them improve.



i'm just not continuing, but thank you for your input


----------



## beebs

Gabby said:


> i'm just not continuing, but thank you for your input



Fair enough! Not trying to do much besides throw in my 2 cents. XD


----------



## Midoriya

beebs said:


> I agree it's a very silly question, but I also think he meant something else. ACE has aspergers and sometimes doesn't communicate effectively. Regardless, you can be sarcastic, or you can help them improve.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> lol Might be a good idea! XD





Thanks for backing me up, but Gabby was right in all fairness.  I'd rather call it a stupid question; not silly too.  And what the crap, how do you know that you creeper.  Joking.


----------



## beebs

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> Thanks for backing me up, but Gabby was right in all fairness.  I'd rather call it a stupid question; not silly too.  And what the crap, how do you know that you creeper.  Joking.



Lol, I read another thread you started, and I use to work with kids with aspergers. So it kind of stuck in my brain.


----------



## MisstreneDelta

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> If Julian is a unicorn and a boy then he's probably homosexual.  Now if he was a cool unicorn with sunglasses and was similar to Pegasus, then he would probably be straight.
> 
> EDIT: I'm straight, so I'd definitely not want Julian in my town.  Just chiming in my two cents to this conversation.



Pretty sure Julian was meant to be "androgynous" but just for the record, he has a "smug" personality, indicating that those with that feature will 'flirt' with female players more so than anything. Pretty sure if he was gay he wouldn't be doing that. Whether you would feel it was to "cover up" the fact that he is or not well, that is ultimately for you to decide, but considering Gracie is a boy in Japan and girl in the US version, I wouldn't say it is uncommon for the game to portray such characters. In Japan after all, reverse gender-specific roles are not uncommon. Imo, if Julian were to have a "label" he would be most likely be bisexual if anything. I personally don't believe in "labels" so I personally don't care what he is lol I happen to be straight and like Unicorns so despite what he is, he is a personal fav of mine, and things like "sexuality" matter not to me :3 I find it a tad bit funny that sooo many people like Yoshi, but overlook the fact they call him a "he" when he technically lays eggs  AND has a crush on Birdo (Who originally is stated in Japan to be a boy who thinks he is a girl) yet many people are oddly fine with that and don't consider him "gay" 

Imo, I feel it is rather childish to "despise" a fictional character just because of their looks and for the fact that they "may or may not" be gay, but hey, whatever floats your boat! This is just my personal opinion as well. Nothing more, nothing less.


----------



## Midoriya

MisstreneDelta said:


> Pretty sure Julian was meant to be "androgynous" but just for the record, he has a "smug" personality, indicating that those with that feature will 'flirt' with female players more so than anything. Pretty sure if he was gay he wouldn't be doing that. Whether you would feel it was to "cover up" the fact that he is or not well, that is ultimately for you to decide, but considering Gracie is a boy in Japan and girl in the US version, I wouldn't say it is uncommon for the game to portray such characters. In Japan after all, reverse gender-specific roles are not uncommon. Imo, if Julian were to have a "label" he would be most likely be bisexual if anything. I personally don't believe in "labels" so I personally don't care what he is lol I happen to be straight and like Unicorns so despite what he is, he is a personal fav of mine, and things like "sexuality" matter not to me :3 I find it a tad bit funny that sooo many people like Yoshi, but overlook the fact they call him a "he" when he technically lays eggs  AND has a crush on Birdo (Who originally is stated in Japan to be a boy who thinks he is a girl) yet many people are oddly fine with that and don't consider him "gay"
> 
> Imo, I feel it is rather childish to "despise" a fictional character just because of their looks and for the fact that they "may or may not" be gay, but hey, whatever floats your boat! This is just my personal opinion as well. Nothing more, nothing less.




If you read my posts after that you would have seen I reconsidered my earlier choice.  Don't just pick one post from earlier and decide to attack me for it.  It makes no sense if you ignored the posts after that, plus the fact that it's childish to call someone that based on one post without looking at all the other posts.  That's like going to a court and having one piece of evidence, but forgetting to bring all the other pieces.  I'm not going to debate with someone over something I didn't mean in the long run though.  Peace.


----------



## Sleepy

I feel like I started a war 

Julian can be whoever anyone would like him to be. This is Animal Crossing for goodness sake


----------



## Midoriya

Sleepy said:


> I feel like I started a war
> 
> Julian can be whoever anyone would like him to be. This is Animal Crossing for goodness sake




You're right, but you didn't start a war, so don't worry about it.  It's my fault.


----------



## MisstreneDelta

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> If you read my posts after that you would have seen I reconsidered my earlier choice.  Don't just pick one post from earlier and decide to attack me for it.  It makes no sense if you ignored the posts after that, plus the fact that it's childish to call someone that based on one post without looking at all the other posts.  That's like going to a court and having one piece of evidence, but forgetting to bring all the other pieces.  I'm not going to debate with someone over something I didn't mean in the long run though.  Peace.



That is fine. I am dreadfully sorry for you to think that I was "attacking" you on anything, when all I was doing just merely stating my opinion, as I am pretty sure I am allowed to do just that. Sorry if i have offended you in any way, though, since it is only an opinion, I have no idea why it did. I am also sorry that i didn't have time to read the 50 million posts on everything you say as I do not have the time to be bothered with it. Anyways, I am done here as well. Farewell!


----------



## Chris

^ I believe *ACE*'s point is that the matter had been mostly resolved when you brought the initial post that caused it back up again without factoring in the most recent posts on the subject. Don't fret over it though. 

On the topic of possibly homosexual villagers - Marshal keeps shipping himself with _everyone_ regardless of gender. I love the smug personality type!


----------



## MisstreneDelta

Tina said:


> ^ I believe *ACE*'s point is that the matter had been mostly resolved when you brought the initial post that caused it back up again without factoring in the most recent posts on the subject. Don't fret over it though.
> 
> On the topic of possibly homosexual villagers - Marshal keeps shipping himself with _everyone_ regardless of gender. I love the smug personality type!



Yes! I agree! I should have continued to read but I was so tired last night that I had no time lol I hope he understands though that it was only an "opinion" and nothing more and that I am sorry for  making him feel threatened :/ I will definitely try to read more posts next time to avoid such a conflict haha

As for the smug personality, I agree it is very cute! I LOVE my smug personalities, hence why I have Colton, Kyle (and hopefully soon!) Julian! lol x3


----------



## Stevey Queen

New topic. How did you come out to your parents/friends?

My dad use to threaten me if I was gay, that he would kill me. So I grew to be afraid of him and hate him. One day when he was yelling at me for God knows what, he left for a bit and my mom asked me why I was so afraid of him. I told her I'm gay and about his death threats. She didn't really like it I guess but she was like "whatever. I can't change it." Better than nothing, I guess. A year later my dad confiscated my phone where I was in the middle of a texting conversation where I was kinda flirting with my crush. He read all my messages and came in yelling, "Stephen, are you gay?!" I figured to just tell the truth. He freaked out but obviously he didn't kill me. Also he didn't hit me, which was a surprise considering his violent abuse record like choking me when I was 5 because I pronounced 14 like 13, or how he beat me because I said "sexy" to some girl when I was 6 when I didn't even knew what it meant. The argument lasted like 2 days. Sometime down the road, he asked me if I liked girls yet. Like you can change.. I decided to lie though so now my family thinks I'm straight. And for a couple of years, I tried to be. But it didn't work out. I'll tell them again when I invite them to my wedding. If that ever happens.

My friends accepted it for the most part. In fact, a lot suspected it since I got called a f*g a lot. In middle school and some of the high school, people would ask a lot of questions like "why are you gay?" and "how did you realize you like men?". They were just really annoying. Like why are you straight? Nowadays, people will just say cool if I come out.

The end.


----------



## Midoriya

LoveMcQueen said:


> New topic. How did you come out to your parents/friends?
> 
> My dad use to threaten me if I was gay, that he would kill me. So I grew to be afraid of him and hate him. One day when he was yelling at me for God knows what, he left for a bit and my mom asked me why I was so afraid of him. I told her I'm gay and about his death threats. She didn't really like it I guess but she was like "whatever. I can't change it." Better than nothing, I guess. A year later my dad confiscated my phone where I was in the middle of a texting conversation where I was kinda flirting with my crush. He read all my messages and came in yelling, "Stephen, are you gay?!" I figured to just tell the truth. He freaked out but obviously he didn't kill me. Also he didn't hit me, which was a surprise considering his violent abuse record like choking me when I was 5 because I pronounced 14 like 13, or how he beat me because I said "sexy" to some girl when I was 6 when I didn't even knew what it meant. The argument lasted like 2 days. Sometime down the road, he asked me if I liked girls yet. Like you can change.. I decided to lie though so now my family thinks I'm straight. And for a couple of years, I tried to be. But it didn't work out. I'll tell them again when I invite them to my wedding. If that ever happens.
> 
> My friends accepted it for the most part. In fact, a lot suspected it since I got called a f*g a lot. In middle school and some of the high school, people would ask a lot of questions like "why are you gay?" and "how did you realize you like men?". They were just really annoying. Like why are you straight? Nowadays, people will just say cool if I come out.
> 
> The end.





I don't think he would kill you.  Unless the parent is mentally insane they're not going to kill their child because of a choice they make.  That's pretty rough though.  And rude, nobody should judge you because of the choices you make.  Unless it's a bad choice, of course.  All sane parents want what's best for their child, and for them to be happy.


----------



## radical6

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> I don't think he would kill you.  Unless the parent is mentally insane they're not going to kill their child because of a choice they make.  That's pretty rough though.  And rude, nobody should judge you because of the choices you make.  Unless it's a bad choice, of course.  All sane parents want what's best for their child, and for them to be happy.


you know there are some reaaaaally homophobic parents out there. of course they wouldn't murder them, but disowning them and driving them to suicide is likely. once a parent finds out you're gay/lesbian/bi/trans*/etc and they dislike the idea about it - they don't want the best for you anymore. they want the best for them. meaning they're going to try to change you.

uh? idk i think im just pan. its kinda annoying with the "OMFG U DATE PANS???" jokes. i thought i was bi for a while but i realized i wouldn't mind dating people who identify outside the gender binary so yeah

im sorry to hear that though. my parents don't really care but they assume im straight


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> i thought i was bi for a while but i realized i wouldn't mind dating people who identify outside the gender binary so yeah
> 
> im sorry to hear that though. my parents don't really care but they assume im straight


Basically me.


----------



## Razur

LoveMcQueen said:


> New topic. How did you come out to your parents/friends?



I kinda have/haven't. I'm Asexual & wish to identify as neutral gendered. I've told my dad & I think he gets it, but I haven't told my mom yet. She keeps asking me when I'm going to dress girly. I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing last time. Buck Gender Roles! >:U

My friends are okay with it. They get it. My boyfriend has a hard time understanding sometimes though. He got upset when we came to the conclusion that I like to crossdress, and then was like, "_wait, you do that already_".


----------



## StarMayor

Razur said:


> I kinda have/haven't. I'm Asexual & wish to identify as neutral gendered. I've told my dad & I think he gets it, but I haven't told my mom yet. She keeps asking me when I'm going to dress girly. I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing last time. Buck Gender Roles! >:U
> 
> My friends are okay with it. They get it. My boyfriend has a hard time understanding sometimes though. He got upset when we came to the conclusion that I like to crossdress, and then was like, "_wait, you do that already_".



My situation is similar to yours. I myself have managed to come to conclusion that I'm Asexual (after years of wondering and some extensive research.) I haven't told my parents or anything like that; while they are quite supportive, they don't really 'get' things like that, and it doesn't really matter much anyway. 

However, I haven't come to any solid answers regarding my gender identity. I mean, for most of my life, I thought I was a cisgender woman. But then, when I was about eighteen, so three years ago, I started thinking that maybe that wasn't right, it that makes sense. I did tell my mum that I thought I might be transgender (this was before I actually found out that gender isn't just 'male' and 'female') after she asked why I had booked a doctor's appointment without her and was trying to keep it quiet. She wasn't upset, but she thought I was wrong as well, which is fair enough; I don't even know if I'm right.

I still haven't reached a solid answer, but I realise I have my days where I feel more 'female' and days where I feel more 'male', if that makes any sense. So I keep thinking that maybe I just fit into the binary or something like that. I still don't really know if I'm honest.


----------



## Vida

LoveMcQueen said:


> New topic. How did you come out to your parents/friends?
> 
> My dad use to threaten me if I was gay, that he would kill me. So I grew to be afraid of him and hate him. One day when he was yelling at me for God knows what, he left for a bit and my mom asked me why I was so afraid of him. I told her I'm gay and about his death threats. She didn't really like it I guess but she was like "whatever. I can't change it." Better than nothing, I guess. A year later my dad confiscated my phone where I was in the middle of a texting conversation where I was kinda flirting with my crush. He read all my messages and came in yelling, "Stephen, are you gay?!" I figured to just tell the truth. He freaked out but obviously he didn't kill me. Also he didn't hit me, which was a surprise considering his violent abuse record like choking me when I was 5 because I pronounced 14 like 13, or how he beat me because I said "sexy" to some girl when I was 6 when I didn't even knew what it meant. The argument lasted like 2 days. Sometime down the road, he asked me if I liked girls yet. Like you can change.. I decided to lie though so now my family thinks I'm straight. And for a couple of years, I tried to be. But it didn't work out. I'll tell them again when I invite them to my wedding. If that ever happens.
> 
> My friends accepted it for the most part. In fact, a lot suspected it since I got called a f*g a lot. In middle school and some of the high school, people would ask a lot of questions like "why are you gay?" and "how did you realize you like men?". They were just really annoying. Like why are you straight? Nowadays, people will just say cool if I come out.
> 
> The end.



I'm sorry to hear that you've had so much trouble with your family. I don't really understand those people... Sexuality is just one part of a person, there's so much more in a person than this aspect. Also, I can't understand your mother's reactions toward your father's killing threats (and him choking and beating you when you were younger). If my husband did that to my children, I would leave him. I could no longer be with a person that threatens my children. 

Anyway, coming back to the "original" topic, the coming out issue. I don't know how old you are but I'd say, I wouldn't come out to your parents until you're no longer dependent on them. You know, when you move out, have your own space to live, make a living etc. etc. Because if they were to disown and mistreat you then, you'd still have somewhere to go and wouldn't have to depend on their help for anything.


----------



## Jake

my friends walked in on me doing the dirty...


----------



## Chris

LoveMcQueen said:


> New topic. How did you come out to your parents/friends?



I didn't. x) I don't keep secrets, but I also don't feel the need to state it. I've no doubts that people know, but the only person I've confirmed it with was a (male) friend who directly asked, "Are you bi?" when we were working abroad earlier this year. I just said yes rather than elaborating that the spectrum is a little wider than that.


----------



## Vida

Tina said:


> I didn't. x) I don't keep secrets, but I also don't feel the need to state it. I've no doubts that people know, but the only person I've confirmed it with was a (male) friend who directly asked, "Are you bi?" when we were working abroad earlier this year. I just said yes rather than elaborating that the spectrum is a little wider than that.



Haha, yeah, I'm the same. I don't tell anyone unless someone asks. I mean, heterosexuals don't have to come out either, so why should non-heterosexuals have to? Well, I can understand if somebody wants to come out to their family if they have a girl/boyfriend and want to introduce them. Then, I guess, it's more appropriate to mention the topic before bumping into the house with your girl/boyfriend and shock your parents haha.


----------



## in-a-pickle

Hello everyone  I have a question, what does queer mean? I also hear people talking about the whole LGBTQ thingamabob, but I can never understand what being queer would be.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Oh, and I'm not trying to be offensive or anything.


----------



## bittermeat

in-a-pickle said:


> Hello everyone  I have a question, what does queer mean? I also hear people talking about the whole LGBTQ thingamabob, but I can never understand what being queer would be.



This is the best explaination I've seen: http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=952


----------



## Vida

To put it shortly: queer means (in regard to sexuality), anything that is not heterosexual. It's a general term used for sexual and gender minorities.

Edit: too slow xD


----------



## in-a-pickle

bittermeat said:


> This is the best explaination I've seen: http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=952



Hmmm...very nice explanation, thanks! It is a little confusing, but I suppose then aren't we really all queer? xD


----------



## Stevey Queen

I thought queer meant like weird but as an insult means gay. Just like how gay originally meant happy but it's more commonly used for homosexual.


----------



## radical6

LoveMcQueen said:


> I thought queer meant like weird but as an insult means gay. Just like how gay originally meant happy but it's more commonly used for homosexual.



in the south its used as a slur, but in some places its not. i would avoid using it though since it can offend some people - unless you're talking about yourself. but idk some people see it as a slur soo yeah


----------



## Leer

wow i forgot i made this thread...


----------



## Razur

StarMayor said:


> My situation is similar to yours. I myself have managed to come to conclusion that I'm Asexual (after years of wondering and some extensive research.) I haven't told my parents or anything like that; while they are quite supportive, they don't really 'get' things like that, and it doesn't really matter much anyway.
> 
> However, I haven't come to any solid answers regarding my gender identity. I mean, for most of my life, I thought I was a cisgender woman. But then, when I was about eighteen, so three years ago, I started thinking that maybe that wasn't right, it that makes sense. I did tell my mum that I thought I might be transgender (this was before I actually found out that gender isn't just 'male' and 'female') after she asked why I had booked a doctor's appointment without her and was trying to keep it quiet. She wasn't upset, but she thought I was wrong as well, which is fair enough; I don't even know if I'm right.
> 
> I still haven't reached a solid answer, but I realise I have my days where I feel more 'female' and days where I feel more 'male', if that makes any sense. So I keep thinking that maybe I just fit into the binary or something like that. I still don't really know if I'm honest.



Well there is a name for those who travel between both, so maybe you're that! 

For me though, I always felt there was something off about me. I've never had a moment where I wanted to impress or be accepted by girls. I've mostly always wanted to be accepted by boys. I played football in 8th grade to say that I could, and to earn the acceptance of other guys. And I did it - I was a terrible player, but I did it.
I lot of times I think I'm supposed to be a guy. I don't like the concept of "girls be pretty and get whatever they want". It's so gross to me. Girls are supposed to be defended and cared for. Men are supposed to be strong. I want to be strong.

I think above all I'm sick of stereo-types, but it bothers me when my mom says things to me like "when are you going to dress more like a girl", "makeup would make you look pretty", "why don't you like dresses," etc. I simply "wish to not express myself" this way. I bought 2 pairs of men's jeans & I tell you, I will never buy another pair of women's jeans ever again. I like short hair, baggy T-shirts, flannels, and men's shoes. I'm quite determined to by a binder. I want to go out and be this new me, but I feel like my family would reject me or look down upon my decision.

I understand so of the "issues" with being a girl, and I don't feel there are many issue with being a guy. Anyone have any ideas of guy problems? Things like "You can't walk 8 blocks from your boyfriend's house because you're a girl" type things, but like guys problems instead.


----------



## oath2order

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2013/09/same-sex-marriage-stirs-little-public-outcry-in-n-m/

Gotta say something about New Mexico.

I love how they did this. The county clerks just went "Hm...Yeah, let's do this."


----------



## locker

I do not care what you do behind closed doors, but i am opposed to gay marriage.It says in the Bible ( Leviticus 18 ) Forbidden sexual practices, that these acts are a sin.Also gay marriage would infringe on religious liberties.


----------



## Gnome

This thread is gay.



ha.


----------



## Prof Gallows

locker said:


> I do not care what you do behind closed doors, but i am opposed to gay marriage.It says in the Bible ( Leviticus 18 ) Forbidden sexual practices, that these acts are a sin.Also gay marriage would infringe on religious liberties.



Make sure you're not coming in here to offend anyone.

It's one thing to give your opinion, but this sort of stuff is a questionable topic. If you're against anything it's probably best to just not post in this thread, as this a thread for supporting.


----------



## Gnome

locker said:


> I do not care what you do behind closed doors, but i am opposed to gay marriage.It says in the Bible ( Leviticus 18 ) Forbidden sexual practices, that these acts are a sin.Also gay marriage would infringe on religious liberties.



But isn't God accepting and loving of all? It's hypocrisy if he's selective about who is considered part of that "all".


----------



## Bacon Boy

Gnome said:


> This thread is gay.
> 
> 
> 
> ha.


Sean, I love you. XD


----------



## Zeiro

locker said:


> I do not care what you do behind closed doors, but i am opposed to gay marriage.It says in the Bible ( Leviticus 18 ) Forbidden sexual practices, that these acts are a sin.Also gay marriage would infringe on religious liberties.


----------



## May

I'm asexual and in a homo-romantic relationship. Also, both me and my girlfriend are trans-female.


----------



## Brackets

locker said:


> I do not care what you do behind closed doors, but i am opposed to gay marriage.It says in the Bible ( Leviticus 18 ) Forbidden sexual practices, that these acts are a sin.Also gay marriage would infringe on religious liberties.



You're just being provoking, posting that here. Honestly..


----------



## Vida

locker said:


> I do not care what you do behind closed doors, but i am opposed to gay marriage.It says in the Bible ( Leviticus 18 ) Forbidden sexual practices, that these acts are a sin.Also gay marriage would infringe on religious liberties.



It's ridiculous how some people like you preach about the Bible, but at the same time go and offend people because of their sexual orientation. Something, they can't change. I'd like to see you be a part of a sexual minority. I bet you would then want to have the same rights as everyone else as well.

Seriously, you can discuss your thoughts with your other homophobe friends. Just leave people alone.


----------



## Jeremy

Vida said:


> It's ridiculous how some people like you preach about the Bible, but at the same time go and offend people because of their sexual orientation. Something, they can't change. I'd like to see you be a part of a sexual minority. I bet you would then want to have the same rights as everyone else as well.
> 
> Seriously, you can discuss your thoughts with your other homophobe friends. Just leave people alone.


What's ridiculous is self-professed tolerant people being intolerant to other beliefs.  Please respect other opinions.


----------



## Vida

I'm not being intolerant. He can have his opinion but does he really have to post it in this thread? And on top of this, make it sound so provoking? If he's against gay marriage and calls it a sin, is it really so important to stress this in a topic about *supporting* LBGTA? Seriously, I don't know why he's even bothered to come here and post this. I guess to make people upset.


----------



## Prof Gallows

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but this isn't a debate thread. This thread is for *supporting*, not for coming in and saying your opinion on why you disagree with any of it.

If you disagree, you're better off not posting in this thread at all. It's not going to cause any good whatsoever.

While I agree with Jeremy in that everyone should accept everyone, I don't agree that coming into a thread made for people looking for support and posting why you disagree, that's just rude.


----------



## May

Jeremy said:


> What's ridiculous is self-professed tolerant people being intolerant to other beliefs.  Please respect other opinions.



I don't see any reason to tolerate beliefs that teach people that my existence is evil, when I am already part of the most discriminated against and murdered people in society (trans people)


----------



## Jake

May said:


> I don't see any reason to tolerate beliefs that teach people that my existence is evil, when I am already part of the most discriminated against and murdered people in society (trans people)



I feel ya.

principal at my school tried to tell me to stop going into the girls bathroom. i told her no that its discrimination so rude.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Jake. said:


> I feel ya.
> 
> principal at my school tried to tell me to stop going into the girls bathroom. i told her no that its discrimination so rude.



Not really. Everybody probably just thinks your a major pervert peeping on girls while they do their thing.


----------



## Jake

LoveMcQueen said:


> Not really. Everybody probably just thinks your a major pervert peeping on girls while they do their thing.



are you insulting my gender identity?


----------



## StarMayor

May said:


> I don't see any reason to tolerate beliefs that teach people that my existence is evil, when I am already part of the most discriminated against and murdered people in society (trans people)



Exactly, there is a difference between simply not liking something and just simply minding one's own business about it and letting people live their own lives, even if you don't agree and being happy, and spreading your hatred to influence other people into believing you by using your own beliefs (which you have by your own choice), that others may not share so that people, who don't decide their gender or who they love, who don't fit into one's ideal gender/sexual roles get ridiculed, hurt, discriminated against, and murdered, just because of someone else's hate and someone else interfering in their lives. 

Also, not to mention, this is not a debate topic, it's a support/discussion topic, so that person posting about their dislike for those who don't fit their ideals about love, identity and orientation doesn't really have a place in doing so here. 

I mean, as a vegetarian, that would be like me going to a huge community barbecue and shouting about how all meat eaters are murderers, meat is disgusting, and other such gross things, when it's not my place to do so.

Okay, maybe not the best analogy, but it's all about respecting who one is, who they love, how they identify, even if you're not a fan.


----------



## Chris

What's done is done. They can't take it back and haven't posted since their OP, so why don't we move on? 

I was working at a wedding yesterday and I couldn't help but notice the emphasis on the definition of marriage being between one man and one woman during the service. It was a little unnerving - especially as I was stood beside the only person in RL that I've admitted I'm pan (well, he thinks bi - but that's close enough) to. :|


----------



## dollydaydream

I don't consider myself straight or gay, we are all people, who are able to find other people attractive, why should it matter if they're the same gender as us? Labelling somebody as straight or gay is stupid, we can all fall for somebody, it's out of our control. Sexuality is a preference, just because you are straight doesn't mean you can't find people of your gender attractive and vice versa.


----------



## idiotcurl

dollydaydream said:


> I don't consider myself straight or gay, we are all people, who are able to find other people attractive, why should it matter if they're the same gender as us? Labelling somebody as straight or gay is stupid, we can all fall for somebody, it's out of our control. Sexuality is a preference, just because you are straight doesn't mean you can't find people of your gender attractive and vice versa.



Can I just give you a standing ovation right now? You need it.


----------



## Vida

dollydaydream said:


> I don't consider myself straight or gay, we are all people, who are able to find other people attractive, why should it matter if they're the same gender as us? Labelling somebody as straight or gay is stupid, we can all fall for somebody, it's out of our control. Sexuality is a preference, just because you are straight doesn't mean you can't find people of your gender attractive and vice versa.



Well said. 
Your post just reminded me of a certain quote by Simone de Beauvoir: "In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation."

I agree with your post. But it seems like most people (either straight or gay) are not willing to believe they could actually fall for somebody of the same/opposite sex. It's not wrong to think that way, but sometimes, I wish people could be more open-minded about sexuality and wouldn't limit themselves to labels.


----------



## discopolice

dollydaydream said:


> I don't consider myself straight or gay, we are all people, who are able to find other people attractive, why should it matter if they're the same gender as us? Labelling somebody as straight or gay is stupid, we can all fall for somebody, it's out of our control. Sexuality is a preference, just because you are straight doesn't mean you can't find people of your gender attractive and vice versa.



ehh, but on the other hand, loving women is an integral part of my identity. sometimes younger people, and even older people, need to put a name to what they're feeling; that's not shoehorning people into a label, that's just a need to feel... normal, and like you're not alone when the world's against you.

what really upsets me, though, is when I say a guy's attractive and someone pipes up "oh, you're not a lesbian then, you're bi!" no. I do not date men, I do not entertain the idea of dating men, I could probably not date a man at this stage of my life without getting very sad about the lack of ladies in my life, lol. sexuality is a very personal and very identity-based thing.


----------



## ben_nyc

discopolice said:


> what really upsets me, though, is when I say a guy's attractive and someone pipes up "oh, you're not a lesbian then, you're bi!" no. I do not date men, I do not entertain the idea of dating men, I could probably not date a man at this stage of my life without getting very sad about the lack of ladies in my life, lol. sexuality is a very personal and very identity-based thing.



Don't let your friends tease you if their responses will hit a nerve.  Just comment that he's 'handsome' & refrain from using popular terms like 'hot', 'goddamn!', etc...   You know yourself best, disco- hold on to that!  ^o^


----------



## Stevey Queen

I don't mind having the label "gay". I could never be intimate with a woman.


----------



## May

I do not view labels as a negative thing. I like being able to identify myself as asexual, demi-romantic, and in a homo-romantic relationship. Labels can be useful to understanding self, and helping others to understand you.
To say there are no labels, that all people can fall in love with anyone in the same way is just wrong. And I think that denying that labels exist is harmful because it devalues peoples identities by saying that they are not real.


----------



## oath2order

I think some people like to create their own labels to be a special sunflower, as I'll refer to it.


----------



## Zeiro

oath2order said:


> I think some people like to create their own labels to be a special sunflower, as I'll refer to it.


Lol are you talking about "pomosexuals"; people who disregard sexual orientation labels -- yet have one to identify themselves as?


----------



## Croconaw

I'm*bisexual.*Also*I'm*a*girl*but*everyone*thinks*I'm*a*dude...*I*don't*get*it.


----------



## rosiekitty405

I'm straight and yeah but my sorta friend Jeremy is transgender.


----------



## Croconaw

I found out that this girl that goes to my school is also bisexual and I think she's cute.


----------



## radical6

how do u guys feel about the allies who think that you owe them something because theyre standing up for you?? ive literally seen allies attack people in the community and say "you dont deserve to have rights" and im like wow.......what a good ally you are....

also its so weird to come out. i mean i dont even know my sexuality anymore but im guess im pan??? my parents assume im straight and that ill get a boyfriend. i mean im up for that but its so weird?? and if i did hint towards me being pan they'll just laugh and hope im not serious and ummm??? im just gonna give up wow. whatever. i dont even think they know pansexuality exists  and this is why i hate that everyone is assumed straight until they come out.


----------



## Souji

I'm usually avoiding talking about my sexuality because I have never felt the need to label myself. I prefer girls but I could be in a relationship with a guy if the someone I liked happened to like me back. Tho I'm taken by the most wonderful girl in the world and I won't let her go just for someone else. Only 3 years have passed but I have a strong feeling she's the one for me.

I absolutely hate when cis/straight allies are expecting that they are owed something for being allies. And when people keep telling that the A in LGBTQA is for allies... I have asexual friends and I keep hearing stories from them and those kind of people piss me off.

Also it happens alot that people think I'm just an ally because I happen to have a girlfriend. There are things I don't feel like sharing in public and it doesn't make me any less of something just because someone else would share it to the whole world. I do feel safe to say that I'm trans on the internet but it's usually for people I will never meet IRL so they most likely won't be able to tell it off to people I know IRL. Gladly I'm passing most of the time so I don't really need to worry about it (only times I'm not passing are if people call me by wrong name, it happens with my mom mostly as she hasn't really really made any kind of progress with trying to call me by my preferred name). Before I was on HRT I had a job where my old name was still in some of the papers but everyone called me by my preferred name and there was only one person who knew about me being trans. But yeah, I don't feel comfortable sharing it in public as I'm afraid that I will be bullied or something. I like being stealth and it feels good as I usually don't need to worry about having someone 'revealing' my past to people I've just met who don't know. Unless I'm having sex with someone, they don't need to know about it.

I've had friends who tell people I've just met that I'm trans WITHOUT my permission and then they have been asking stuff that makes me really uncomfortable (usually VERy personal stuff). I have had avoid couple people like plague at one time because of friend of mine told them. u_u Omg my choppy 4am English is not the best, I'm so sorry.


----------



## radical6

Ty~ said:


> I'm usually avoiding talking about my sexuality because I have never felt the need to label myself. I prefer girls but I could be in a relationship with a guy if the someone I liked happened to like me back. Tho I'm taken by the most wonderful girl in the world and I won't let her go just for someone else. Only 3 years have passed but I have a strong feeling she's the one for me.
> 
> I absolutely hate when cis/straight allies are expecting that they are owed something for being allies. And when people keep telling that the A in LGBTQA is for allies... I have asexual friends and I keep hearing stories from them and those kind of people piss me off.
> 
> Also it happens alot that people think I'm just an ally because I happen to have a girlfriend. There are things I don't feel like sharing in public and it doesn't make me any less of something just because someone else would share it to the whole world. I do feel safe to say that I'm trans on the internet but it's usually for people I will never meet IRL so they most likely won't be able to tell it off to people I know IRL. Gladly I'm passing most of the time so I don't really need to worry about it (only times I'm not passing are if people call me by wrong name, it happens with my mom mostly as she hasn't really really made any kind of progress with trying to call me by my preferred name). Before I was on HRT I had a job where my old name was still in some of the papers but everyone called me by my preferred name and there was only one person who knew about me being trans. But yeah, I don't feel comfortable sharing it in public as I'm afraid that I will be bullied or something. I like being stealth and it feels good as I usually don't need to worry about having someone 'revealing' my past to people I've just met who don't know. Unless I'm having sex with someone, they don't need to know about it.
> 
> I've had friends who tell people I've just met that I'm trans WITHOUT my permission and then they have been asking stuff that makes me really uncomfortable (usually VERy personal stuff). I have had avoid couple people like plague at one time because of friend of mine told them. u_u Omg my choppy 4am English is not the best, I'm so sorry.



yeah??? like...youre an ally!! you dont face the problems. thats great that you support everyone! but you are not the star and you dont deserve brownie points.ive seen allies complain that "but where i live its dangerous to say you support these people! i might get bullied!" but? you can always lie and joke it off. i know LGBTQA can too but its way harder to deny??? like its harder for them because theyre lying about who they really are

 i dont mind most allies but there are some allies like these that piss me off. some of their posts are problematic imo and the worst ive seen were allies coming out on national coming out day...um??

and im sorry your friends did that. and also i feel the same way, like i can say im pan online so much easier then telling someone i know in real life. maybe because i feel safer online because ??? idk ?? i mean i feel like people online would shrug it off and respect that where as someone in real life will have no idea and say something bad ??? and like there are so many different backgrounds on the internet.


----------



## Chris

May said:


> I do not view labels as a negative thing. I like being able to identify myself as asexual, demi-romantic, and in a homo-romantic relationship. *Labels can be useful to understanding self*, and helping others to understand you.
> To say there are no labels, that all people can fall in love with anyone in the same way is just wrong. And I think that denying that labels exist is harmful because it devalues peoples identities by saying that they are not real.



I agree with this point. I'm not a big fan of labels, but I do think they are necessary in helping a lot of people understand 'what' they are and, in being able to (re)search that label online, it helps them in realising that they're not abnormal or alone.






tsundere said:


> how do u guys feel about the allies who think that you owe them something because theyre standing up for you?? ive literally seen allies attack people in the community and say "you dont deserve to have rights" and im like wow.......what a good ally you are....





Ty~ said:


> I absolutely hate when cis/straight allies are expecting that they are owed something for being allies. And when people keep telling that the A in LGBTQA is for allies... I have asexual friends and I keep hearing stories from them and those kind of people piss me off.



I don't really acknowledge the 'A' as allies - I know it's technically there, but I personally don't think it has a place in the alphabet.


----------



## StarMayor

I always thought the 'A' stood for 'Asexual', as it should do. I have to admit, it does annoy me when cis/het allies say it stands for them.


----------



## PixelNoodles

I'm IS and pan romantic asexual.


----------



## oath2order

PixelNoodles said:


> I'm IS and pan romantic asexual.



What the hell is IS?

Reviving this.

Hawaii legalized gay marriage #swag


----------



## Zeiro

oath2order said:


> Hawaii legalized gay marriage #swag


I just heard about this too, hell yes.


----------



## CM Mark

I am a straight male, but am a firm believer in marriage equality. I live in Connecticut, one of the states that has marriage equality laws. It actually bothers me that there have to be laws in place to allow two people who are in love to get married. I have an equality and pride sticker on my car, and have several friends who are in the LGBTQA community. Every time a new state or country passes equality laws we have a little celebration at one of our houses. One of my younger cousins is a lesbian, and came out to me before anyone else in the family because she knew that I would be the most supportive of anyone in the family. Her father still, 8 years later, refuses to believe that she really is a lesbian and that it is a faze she is going through. 

To all LGBTQA community members here on the Bell Tree that live in areas that still do not recognize marriage equality, keep fighting the good fight. Some day everyone everywhere who loves someone will have the right to marry whomever they want.


----------



## Joey

I am straight myself but I think anyone should be allowed to marry anyone. The thing I don't really support that much is a child have two mothers/fathers. I just don't think it is right for the children.


----------



## oath2order

Joey said:


> I am straight myself but I think anyone should be allowed to marry anyone. The thing I don't really support that much is a child have two mothers/fathers. I just don't think it is right for the children.



What about single parents though?


----------



## EmmaFrost

I'm pansexual. It differs from bisexual but I'm too lazy and depressed to explain the differences right now.


----------



## Jas0n

Illyana said:


> I'm pansexual. It differs from bisexual but I'm too lazy and depressed to explain the differences right now.



I too love cookware.


----------



## EmmaFrost

Jas0n said:


> I too love cookware.


Right? Major turn on.


----------



## ThomasNLD

Well, its all kinda easy in my book. Gay or straight, if you love eachother you should be together. I`ve lived long enough to know how rare true love is, so don`t let others stand in the way of your happiness. Marriage holds no religious factor for me, so I don`t see why gay people shouldn`t be allowed to marry. The only tradition it holds for me, is that there is love til death do you part.Good luck with that...... ^^


----------



## Chris

Illyana said:


> I'm pansexual. It differs from bisexual but I'm too lazy and depressed to explain the differences right now.



No need to explain. There are several of us here.


----------



## Jake

Tina said:


> No need to explain. There are several of us here.



tina told me she is thinks kitchen ware is sexy i am not even kidding.


----------



## Nymeri

I am lesbian, and came out when I was 17. I'm in a relationship and have been with her for 2 years. All my friends and family were very supportive


----------



## radical6

Joey said:


> I am straight myself but I think anyone should be allowed to marry anyone. The thing I don't really support that much is a child have two mothers/fathers. I just don't think it is right for the children.


right lmao
"i support gay marriage!" "i dont think they should have children...."
how is it not right? ?????? they can be just as good as parents as straight ones. come on

also my friends dont even know what homophobic means. and i had to tell them what bisexual means. i cant believe this. i wont even get into pansexuality because that will just confuse them further. im like wtf you seriously have never heard of these words before? really?


----------



## Midoriya

tsundere said:


> right lmao
> "i support gay marriage!" "i dont think they should have children...."
> how is it not right? ?????? they can be just as good as parents as straight ones. come on
> 
> also my friends dont even know what homophobic means. and i had to tell them what bisexual means. i cant believe this. i wont even get into pansexuality because that will just confuse them further. im like wtf you seriously have never heard of these words before? really?




A lot of people haven't heard about them because a lot of people haven't thought about them theirselves.


----------



## radical6

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> A lot of people haven't heard about them because a lot of people haven't thought about them theirselves.



i know
thats just really sad
straight is just assumed. i mean how many kids do you think rn dont know their sexuality because all they see is straight people. of course theyre young and dont know any better, but once its planted in your head it kinda sucks.


----------



## ACking

I'm personally a romantic asexual and I get asked a lot what I am. Lol I don't mind explaining, though


----------



## Midoriya

tsundere said:


> i know
> thats just really sad
> straight is just assumed. i mean how many kids do you think rn dont know their sexuality because all they see is straight people. of course theyre young and dont know any better, but once its planted in your head it kinda sucks.




I don't think "they're young and don't know any better".  More along the lines of "They haven't tried to learn about the terms and therefore can't see if they identify as one of them or straight."


----------



## radical6

AnimalCrossingExpert(ACE) said:


> I don't think "they're young and don't know any better".  More along the lines of "They haven't tried to learn about the terms and therefore can't see if they identify as one of them or straight."


by young and dont know any better (i probably worded that really bad) i meant they dont know anything about sexuality and they dont really think much. maybe all they know is that boys and girls should date.

i think the best way to end the "straight until proven otherwise" is to like. insert queer characters into media. books, tv, movies. whatever. dont make a big deal out of them. just casually slip them in. the more you see them, the more people will know

also really cute comic!


----------



## Jas0n

Heteronormativity is probably one of the things that bugs me the most. The whole idea that anybody even slightly strays from the straight ideals is expected to have a big "coming out" ceremony is completely stupid in my opinion.

But then there's the flip side of that where people in the LGBT community take their sexuality to a whole new level and define themselves by it. They revel in the coming out process and making a spectacle out of straying from heteronormativity.

Put simply, people are silly.


----------



## Jake

Jas0n said:


> Heteronormativity is probably one of the things that bugs me the most. The whole idea that anybody even slightly strays from the straight ideals is expected to have *a big "coming out" ceremony* is completely stupid in my opinion.




but.....


----------



## EmmaFrost

Jas0n said:


> Heteronormativity is probably one of the things that bugs me the most. The whole idea that anybody even slightly strays from the straight ideals is expected to have a big "coming out" ceremony is completely stupid in my opinion.
> 
> But then there's the flip side of that where people in the LGBT community take their sexuality to a whole new level and define themselves by it. They revel in the coming out process and making a spectacle out of straying from heteronormativity.
> 
> Put simply, people are silly.


I wholeheartedly agree with all of this. Well put, A+, etc.


----------



## Stevey Queen

tsundere said:


> right lmao
> "i support gay marriage!" "i dont think they should have children...."
> how is it not right? ?????? they can be just as good as parents as straight ones. come on
> 
> also my friends dont even know what homophobic means. and i had to tell them what bisexual means. i cant believe this. i wont even get into pansexuality because that will just confuse them further. im like wtf you seriously have never heard of these words before? really?



I haven't heard of pansexuals up until a while ago. I'm still not sure what it actually is though.


----------



## Joey

tsundere said:


> right lmao
> "i support gay marriage!" "i dont think they should have children...."
> how is it not right? ?????? they can be just as good as parents as straight ones. come on
> 
> also my friends dont even know what homophobic means. and i had to tell them what bisexual means. i cant believe this. i wont even get into pansexuality because that will just confuse them further. im like wtf you seriously have never heard of these words before? really?



I know that they can be just as good parents but this leads to bullying a lot of the time for the children as they get older and they will start wondering why they have two moms/dads and wondering who their real parents are.


----------



## suede

Joey said:


> and wondering who their real parents are.


So straight couples shouldn't adopt either then?


----------



## Psydye

Question: is marriage a state or religious thing?

If it's state I can see why it should be equal for everyone, however if it's religious shouldn't it only be the religious gays/lesbians who should be concerned?


----------



## Joey

suede said:


> So straight couples shouldn't adopt either then?



Well they can keep it a secret until they grow up and understand why they did it (I don't know what they do because I don't know anyone adopted) but children with two moms/dads will be questioning why they don't have a mother and father and other children do.


----------



## Jas0n

Joey said:


> Well they can keep it a secret until they grow up and understand why they did it (I don't know what they do because I don't know anyone adopted) but children with two moms/dads will be questioning why they don't have a mother and father and other children do.



I think you're being very closed-minded. Many children have same sex or adoptive parents and feel no need to question it. If a child is loved and happy, why should it matter to them?


----------



## suede

Joey said:


> Well they can keep it a secret until they grow up and understand why they did it (I don't know what they do because I don't know anyone adopted) but children with two moms/dads will be questioning why they don't have a mother and father and other children do.



Happy 18th birthday! You're adopted btw!


----------



## Midoriya

Studies have shown that kids that have same sex parents can behave the same way as kids with different sex parents.  This is probably because the kid still has the same life as other kids.  It doesn't change anything.


----------



## Micah

I don't know if this has been posted yet, but it's one of my favorite gifs from one of my favorite shows. Gets me every time...


----------



## radical6

Joey said:


> I know that they can be just as good parents but this leads to bullying a lot of the time for the children as they get older and they will start wondering why they have two moms/dads and wondering who their real parents are.



yeah it sucks they can get bullied, which is why the movement exists. which is why people are fighting. to open peoples eyes. but just because they might get bullied shouldnt stop a lesbian/gay/bi/etc couple to have children. 

and why would they ever wonder that? because its the normal thing to see? i dont see why they would ever care why they didnt have a dad/mom. 

also gay/lesbian couples can give birth to children. (trans* lesbian/gay couples??) so they can be their biological parents....





Joey said:


> Well they can keep it a secret until they grow up and understand why they did it (I don't know what they do because I don't know anyone adopted) but children with two moms/dads will be questioning why they don't have a mother and father and other children do.



i dont understand you. why would these children question that. we need to burn the "a mom and a dad are needed for the family!!!!!!!111!!" i honestly dont see why it matters. who cares if they have 2 moms or 2 dads. 

overall, you dont support gay marriage if you dont believe that they should have children bye



EDIT: to queen 
this image explains pansexuality the best

really good post explaining a lot of other stuff too


----------



## Nic

Jas0n said:


> I think you're being very closed-minded. Many children have same sex or adoptive parents and feel no need to question it. If a child is loved and happy, why should it matter to them?


If they attend a public education, and possibly are in a very religious area; it may ruin their reputation at school or a public event.


----------



## Envy

Psydye said:


> Question: is marriage a state or religious thing?
> 
> If it's state I can see why it should be equal for everyone, however if it's religious shouldn't it only be the religious gays/lesbians who should be concerned?



Marriage is a state issue. Marriage predates religions like Christianity, so they can't claim any ownership over the idea, nor do they have any right to define it for those who do not follow their religion.

Churches are free to choose who they marry in their walls. So this whole idea that same-sex marriage is a violation of religious freedom is completely and totally nonsensical. In fact, banning same-sex marriage on religious grounds is the very definition of a violation of religious freedom.


----------



## StarMayor

Nic said:


> If they attend a public education, and possibly are in a very religious area; it may ruin their reputation at school or a public event.



Instead of banning same-sex couples adopting (just because parents don't want to spend five minutes telling their kid that some relationships aren't all just "man and woman",) maybe society should do something about the bigoted jerks that put up a fight and spread hate against that kind of thing (and therefore cause things like a child with same-sex parents to be bullied in school.)


----------



## Nic

StarMayor said:


> Instead of banning same-sex couples adopting (just because parents don't want to spend five minutes telling their kid that some relationships aren't all just "man and woman",) maybe society should do something about the bigoted jerks that put up a fight and spread hate against that kind of thing (and therefore cause things like a child with same-sex parents to be bullied in school.)



You do realize this will never happen?  Your idea of doing something towards the people who hate something is completely insane, and not possible at all.

Westboro Baptist Church purposely makes people angry and sues if they hit them or w/e.


----------



## radical6

fckh8 is so bad. its so cheesy. this is why i dont trust allies half the time. god dang. (coughs macklemore, lady gaga)

also saw some people talk about a new way to describe lgbt*qia*p  i think it was called GSRM? so we dont leave out stuff y'know. (gender, sexual, and romantic minorities)
which i think is pretty cool. it includes everyone without a very long acronym.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> fckh8 is so bad. its so cheesy. this is why i dont trust allies half the time. god dang. (coughs macklemore, lady gaga)



I'm getting a little ****ing tired of people in the community hating on allies. There's enough people who don't like the LGBT community. Quit *****ing about the behavior of the people who do like us.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> I'm getting a little ****ing tired of people in the community hating on allies. There's enough people who don't like the LGBT community. Quit *****ing about the behavior of the people who do like us.


i dont hate all allies, but allies who act like theyre the best things in the world for supporting make me sick. the more allies, the better! but seriously when allies who turn around and say "you woulndt be anywhere without us" or "listen up, without us you would be nowhere" are the most useless things ive ever seen. macklemore is a terrible ally if he rips off of a gay rapper and sings about gay marriage. really. lady gaga has said many trans*phobic things?? even if shes for gay marriage thats terrible. fckh8 is so trans*phobic dont even get me started


----------



## Twisted Circuits

It's great about Hawaii and I celebrate the achievement there.  I'm more concerned about congress.  A political group was able to change congressional rules so that only the speaker of the house can propose items for a vote.  The current speaker is 'boner' and he's resolute in holding congress hostage.  Only legislation that fits with his ideology is allowed to be voted on.  Even tho it's likely the bill would pass, the Speaker will never bring it to the floor.

It's disturbing that the change in congressional proceedure is legal, it defeats the purpose of congress.

- - - Post Merge - - -

It would appear I'm a step behind the rest of the discussion.  Sorry about that, the board didn't show me any posts after the Hawaii revive.


----------



## StarMayor

Nic said:


> You do realize this will never happen?  Your idea of doing something towards the people who hate something is completely insane, and not possible at all.
> 
> Westboro Baptist Church purposely makes people angry and sues if they hit them or w/e.



I didn't mean anything violent or extreme like that. 

I mean change views on a large scale, have parents tell their kids that it's fine, show the world that there's nothing wrong with not being cisgender and/or heterosexual. We need to turn the whole 'anyone who isn't straight and cisgender is not normal and therefore, they are bad' ideal on its head. The reason people who aren't are still treated badly is because of those kind of people in the first place after all.

Also, the world, and the majority opinion is changing anyway.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Would you be upset if you were a heterosexual and you went to a "gay" beach with your bf and some homosexual men were checking out your bf? Because apparently it upset my friend and she posted a really ignorant and offensive fb post about it that attacked the entire gay community just because a few checked out her bf.


----------



## oath2order

LoveMcQueen said:


> Would you be upset if you were a heterosexual and you went to a "gay" beach with your bf and some homosexual men were checking out your bf? Because apparently it upset my friend and she posted a really ignorant and offensive fb post about it that attacked the entire gay community just because a few checked out her bf.



...But that's a compliment to her boyfriend. If other people find him attractive, that's a compliment to him and her, that he's attractive, and she has him


----------



## Stevey Queen

oath2order said:


> ...But that's a compliment to her boyfriend. If other people find him attractive, that's a compliment to him and her, that he's attractive, and she has him



That's what I said to her but she still said stupid stuff like "straight people aren't safe anywhere anymore". I kinda wanted to punch her..


----------



## SockHead

is the word tranny offensive


----------



## Stevey Queen

SockHead said:


> is the word tranny offensive



I can't think of a way were you could use tranny in a polite way. Idk if this is a serious question lol


----------



## SockHead

LoveMcQueen said:


> I can't think of a way were you could use tranny in a polite way. Idk if this is a serious question lol



What do you call them then


----------



## Jinglefruit

LoveMcQueen said:


> That's what I said to her but she still said stupid stuff like "straight people aren't safe anywhere anymore". I kinda wanted to punch her..



Could you not point out heterosexual guys are normally far worse with girls? And who would assume a guy on a gay beach is straight?




SockHead said:


> What do you call them then



Trans is normally the most polite thing to call them.


----------



## Superpenguin

SockHead said:


> What do you call them then



By their name.


----------



## radical6

SockHead said:


> is the word tranny offensive



im cis ( i guess?? idk tbh)  so i cant really say much about it but if youre cis i probably wouldnt use it. its fine for trans folks to use it because its a slur to them and they can reclaim it if that makes sense? (doesnt mean all of them like it tho) but yeah i would avoid using that.

someone called me homophobic for not liking macklemore and they were straight too btw. this is incredible


----------



## Zeiro

SockHead said:


> is the word tranny offensive


it's considered a hateful slur, yes. trans person or transgender person would be better.


----------



## SockHead

Okay thank you I learned something today


----------



## Stevey Queen

Jinglefruit said:


> Could you not point out heterosexual guys are normally far worse with girls? And who would assume a guy on a gay beach is straight?



I pointed out that everyone is guilty of checking one another out and that its hypocritical and offensive to single out homosexuals like that. I don't know why she made a big deal out of it but she disagreed with me and denied that she said anything offensive.


----------



## oath2order

SockHead said:


> is the word tranny offensive



Depends on who you're talking to and if they mind the word or not.


----------



## Jinglefruit

I only learned tranny was offensive earlier this year myself. 



LoveMcQueen said:


> I pointed out that everyone is guilty of checking one another out and that its hypocritical and offensive to single out homosexuals like that. I don't know why she made a big deal out of it but she disagreed with me and denied that she said anything offensive.



She doesn't sound as though she should be on a gay beach, or around gays, or let out in public.


----------



## Twisted Circuits

LoveMcQueen said:


> Would you be upset if you were a heterosexual and you went to a "gay" beach with your bf and some homosexual men were checking out your bf? Because apparently it upset my friend and she posted a really ignorant and offensive fb post about it that attacked the entire gay community just because a few checked out her bf.



The anger and hostility would appear to stem from insecurities which she's been unable to resolve.  This incident provided her a vehicle she could use to vocalize the hate she holds in her heart.  A side effect of the growing acceptance of the LGBT is the internalization of the hate that an individual feels towards that demographic.  For example, racism hasn't disappeared from society because certain attitudes are no longer socially acceptable.  Oddly enough, many racists don't even see themselves or actions they take as racist.  They're easily spotted after hearing news stories about muggings, murders, rapes, etc because of how they respond.  The quintescential question they often ask gives them away; "Were they black?".  Physical chacteristics do not predispose behavior, criminal or otherwise.  There are other factors in relation to behavior.

This brings us back to your friend's behavior.  She's a bigot and likely felt a euphoric feeling after writing her diatribe.  Later she'll probably say she didn't mean it, she was just upset, etc.  She might even delete her post out of embarrassment.  The question you need to ask yourself is what YOU are going to do about it.  You can remain silent and allow her offensive speach to go unchallenged. Or you can privately or publically confront her and let her know you were offended.

Option one is probably the easiest for you but your silence makes you complicit with her sentiments.  She'll assume those who don't challenge her agree with her sentiments in their silence.  The second choice is to challenge her and let her know how you feel.  Believe it or not, it's easier than it sounds.  Just tell her you understand she was upset, but that her statements were offensive.


----------



## Jake

LoveMcQueen said:


> I pointed out that everyone is guilty of checking one another out and that its hypocritical and offensive to single out homosexuals like that. I don't know why she made a big deal out of it but she disagreed with me and denied that she said anything offensive.



if she's a gay basher why are you wasting your time talking to her? #logic
if one of my 'friends' said some **** like that they'd sure be getting  boot out the backdoor.

@sockhead i am transgender and you can call me tranny all you want b/cos sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me


----------



## Stevey Queen

Twisted Circuits said:


> The anger and hostility would appear to stem from insecurities which she's been unable to resolve.  This incident provided her a vehicle she could use to vocalize the hate she holds in her heart.  A side effect of the growing acceptance of the LGBT is the internalization of the hate that an individual feels towards that demographic.  For example, racism hasn't disappeared from society because certain attitudes are no longer socially acceptable.  Oddly enough, many racists don't even see themselves or actions they take as racist.  They're easily spotted after hearing news stories about muggings, murders, rapes, etc because of how they respond.  The quintescential question they often ask gives them away; "Were they black?".  Physical chacteristics do not predispose behavior, criminal or otherwise.  There are other factors in relation to behavior.
> 
> This brings us back to your friend's behavior.  She's a bigot and likely felt a euphoric feeling after writing her diatribe.  Later she'll probably say she didn't mean it, she was just upset, etc.  She might even delete her post out of embarrassment.  The question you need to ask yourself is what YOU are going to do about it.  You can remain silent and allow her offensive speach to go unchallenged. Or you can privately or publically confront her and let her know you were offended.
> 
> Option one is probably the easiest for you but your silence makes you complicit with her sentiments.  She'll assume those who don't challenge her agree with her sentiments in their silence.  The second choice is to challenge her and let her know how you feel.  Believe it or not, it's easier than it sounds.  Just tell her you understand she was upset, but that her statements were offensive.



I did challenge her as well as some other people. We made our points clear on how it was offensive and she just ended up defending herself with contradictory comments. She wouldn't understand our argument and claimed we were the ones in the wrong so we pretty much gave up. 

@Jake, I pretty much booted her out a long time ago because she's annoying. This pretty much ended it for good. I only commented on her status because I felt like I needed to defend the homosexuals.


----------



## Twisted Circuits

It's unfortunate she wasn't able to see reason, but not at all unexpected.  You did more than just defend the homosexuals, you stood up for human decency.  When any of us is dehumanized we are all damaged.  And when good people defend against bigotry and intolerance we are all enriched.


----------



## Jake

LoveMcQueen said:


> @Jake, I pretty much booted her out a long time ago because she's annoying. This pretty much ended it for good. I only commented on her status because I felt like I needed to defend the homosexuals.



not to be rude but if you're still fb friends w/ her then clearly you haven't.


----------



## Souji

Sigh once again got to the point where I just want to punch someone. It's NOT acceptable to ask trans persons 'real name' (by that I mean their birth name but some people call it their real name and I'm like what?? Their preferred name IS their real name).
I got asked that by someone, who I thought was a good friend, and it just came out of nowhere. It's not their business, so why would they ask? If they knew it, they could slip it by accident and out me to someone which is the worst thing because I'm stealth irl. People should be taught what stuff is not okay to ask, since it's not their business. Same goes to asking about someones genitals, you don't ask cis person about their genitals so why would you ask about trans person? Is it just because they're trans? Unless you're going to have sex with someone, their genitals are not your business.

Also never use tranny, shemale, c-boy etc. when talking about transgender people. I think it goes for cis AND trans people. It's like "I can say *** because I'm gay" thing. I find those words very offensive, I don't care who says them.

Sorry about ranting, but I'm just... mad that people aren't educated enough on this matter as it just keeps happening all the time. We are not here to educate them all the time, but we should not explode into someones face, unless they are knowingly being offensive.


----------



## M O L K O

tsundere said:


> fckh8 is so bad. its so cheesy. this is why i dont trust allies half the time. god dang. (coughs macklemore, lady gaga)
> 
> also saw some people talk about a new way to describe lgbt*qia*p  i think it was called GSRM? so we dont leave out stuff y'know. (gender, sexual, and romantic minorities)
> which i think is pretty cool. it includes everyone without a very long acronym.



I can somewhat see your point with gaga but people who dislike 'allies' because they're not a part of the Lgbt community themselves is ludacris, it's literally telling an animal adviocist they can't help, they're not an animal.._*they don't understand*_ Before you even say I'm comparing people in the LGBT community to animals, I'm not even though I'd say animals seem to be the more sane ones on this planet.


----------



## Souji

I don't hate allies, I'm glad there are allies in the first place! But I do dislike when some allies think they are owed something for being allies or they try forcefully include themselves in thing they don't belong...

Also;
"I hate homophobic people! How dare they be like that!"
"I hate when white, cis allies try to help! How dare they!"

I understand that some things allies can do are... questionable. But they are not all bad.


----------



## radical6

Ty~ said:


> I don't hate allies, I'm glad there are allies in the first place! But I do dislike when some allies think they are owed something for being allies or they try forcefully include themselves in thing they don't belong...
> 
> Also;
> "I hate homophobic people! How dare they be like that!"
> "I hate when white, cis allies try to help! How dare they!"
> 
> I understand that some things allies can do are... questionable. But they are not all bad.



i dont hate allies. i just get very ticked off at allies sometimes. you call them out for saying something wrong? "WAAH!1! WITHOUT US YOU WOULDNT HAVE RIGHTS1!1!1"

no one hates cishet white allies for being who they are. its just that some of them end up being jerks who put their feelings over us. they dont listen to queer people talk and try to put their opinion in.


----------



## Twisted Circuits

Ok, what on earth is cis or cishet?


----------



## oath2order

Cis = cisgender. Basically, what most people are. You were assigned "male" at birth, and you grow up agreeing you're male. Or female.

Cishet = Cisgender + heterosexual

Ciscum = Cisgender + scum. Yes, this is a thing. Mostly a Tumblr thing.


----------



## Colour Bandit

I used to be one those 'holier than thou' allies, but after a lot of talking with members of GSRM community (aka showing me that I wasn't really helping) I've stepped back a bit and am now more of a shoulder to cry on and try to stop Cishets from using derogatory terms so casually...  I've found that with losing my superiority complex I've learnt more about GSRM, e.g. Demisexuals who I had no idea existed before and common courtesies which most allies ignore...


(GSRM: Gender, Sexual and Relationship Minorities, I was asked to use this awhile back as it covers everything...)


----------



## radical6

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> I used to be one those 'holier than thou' allies, but after a lot of talking with members of GSRM community (aka showing me that I wasn't really helping) I've stepped back a bit and am now more of a shoulder to cry on and try to stop Cishets from using derogatory terms so casually...  I've found that with losing my superiority complex I've learnt more about GSRM, e.g. Demisexuals who I had no idea existed before and common courtesies which most allies ignore...
> 
> 
> (GSRM: Gender, Sexual and Relationship Minorities, I was asked to use this awhile back as it covers everything...)



i feel like most allies only care about the gay dudes. like. the cis ones. it gets really annoying when they type "GLBT' im like wowww that better be a typo.

i think the term GSRM is better than LGBT but i read somewhere the dude who created it or w/e was a piece of crap and hated LGBTQA+? that and i read that cishet allies try to put themselves in because apparently they fit in the term ?? i dont understand how??? but?? idk.


----------



## Colour Bandit

tsundere said:


> i feel like most allies only care about the gay dudes. like. the cis ones. it gets really annoying when they type "GLBT' im like wowww that better be a typo.
> 
> i think the term GSRM is better than LGBT but i read somewhere the dude who created it or w/e was a piece of crap and hated LGBTQA+? that and i read that cishet allies try to put themselves in because apparently they fit in the term ?? i dont understand how??? but?? idk.


I used to be one of those 'only gays matter' allies :/ I try not to focus on one specific group now...

I was asked by someone whose identity didn't fit into LGBTQA to use GSRM (plus I find it easier to use and explain to others) and never really knew it's origins, I'll still use it though since it includes all minorities- Allies do not fit in the term, we are not a minority! We are not oppressed! I just want to punch those allies in the face, pushing themselves in all the time and making us all look bad (ugh I wish I could tell younger me not to be so stupid like those allies)

EDIT: I just noticed in my last post I put relationship in GSRM, it's meant to be romantic...


----------



## radical6

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> I used to be one of those 'only gays matter' allies :/ I try not to focus on one specific group now...
> 
> I was asked by someone whose identity didn't fit into LGBTQA to use GSRM (plus I find it easier to use and explain to others) and never really knew it's origins, I'll still use it though since it includes all minorities- Allies do not fit in the term, we are not a minority! We are not oppressed! I just want to punch those allies in the face, pushing themselves in all the time and making us all look bad (ugh I wish I could tell younger me not to be so stupid like those allies)
> 
> EDIT: I just noticed in my last post I put relationship in GSRM, it's meant to be romantic...


so apparently GSRM is used by cishets because...



> because i’ve seen it coopted by cishets who think they belong in our safe spaces because they are ~kinky~ and i’m not here for that **** like if people think it’s a more inclusive term that’s fine (and as a cis person i wouldn’t dream of telling trans* people that they should or shouldn’t use an acronym that they feel is more/less inclusive) and i don’t think LGBTQ is perfect or non-erasing but until i stop seeing cishets think that that term includes them i’m not comfortable using it myself



so like BDSM crap?????? i have no idea why in the world they would use it. ???
please do punch those allies oh my god


----------



## Colour Bandit

tsundere said:


> so apparently GSRM is used by cishets because...
> 
> 
> 
> so like BDSM crap?????? i have no idea why in the world they would use it. ???
> please do punch those allies oh my god



Seriously... Find me these people so I can knock some sense into them, anyone can join in with me. 
If anyone feels uncomfortable with me using GSRM because of Cishets that think being kinky makes them the same as Gays, Trans*, Queer, etc. people then I will stop using it here. But otherwise I will still use it as it covers everyone and other reasons that I have said before...


----------



## Bon

Oh, I didn't know we had a thread like this o: I'm the B!


----------



## 001rich100

What's with everyone using a single letter to represent their orientation? Just spell it out! Lol

Well, I'm plain Gay! Gay and happily in love with my boyfriend, Twisted Circuits! Love ya nerdy-booski!


----------



## radical6

washington is so gay tbh


----------



## kerryelizabeth

I really don't label myself. I guess if I had to label myself, though, I'd be pan. I don't care what you look like, if you're male, female, blonde, brunette, fat, thin. If I get along with you, then I see you as a potential partner. But I've never really labelled it before, I just sort of am what I am and don't let it define me. Just roll with it as and when.

Does that even make sense?


----------



## Jinglefruit

kerryelizabeth said:


> I really don't label myself. I guess if I had to label myself, though, I'd be pan. I don't care what you look like, if you're male, female, blonde, brunette, fat, thin. If I get along with you, then I see you as a potential partner. But I've never really labelled it before, I just sort of am what I am and don't let it define me. Just roll with it as and when.
> 
> Does that even make sense?



That's kind of how I see things. I figure something to do with being able to love anyone makes you less bothered about having a name for it ~ as in labelling something automatically closes the chance of it being something else, so labelling something as being open to everything seems strangely hypocritical. (I hope that makes sense, I'm rather tired.)

Recently I've taken to classing myself as somewhere between Pan and Demi. ~ and call it pandemicsexual xP


----------



## Princess Weeb

wait this thread exists

yay <3 

And I'm with @Kerryelizabeth on this one actually, I'm not really sure enough for a label :")


----------



## Jas0n

There is an attractive guy at work whom I wish to pounce on but I am far too awkward. Sadtimes.


----------



## Jake

Jas0n said:


> There is an attractive guy at work whom I wish to pounce on but I am far too awkward. Sadtimes.



you can pounce on me if you want!!


----------



## RhinoK

I'm confused myself, which is usual, given my age. I've had a past relationship with girls (well - one, for two years, pls don't judge I was nine when it started) but I had this really intense feeling of bromance with someone and I told him everything and hugged him and got him little gifts and it was a strong friendship but I've had a lot of problems at home and I'd used to SH (which he knew) and I'd just have bursts of anger and abuse him and I can't really blame it on my anger because I'd feel like I enjoy it. To put it simple, I said a one name too many.Seven months have passed and we're complete strangers even though we literally can't avoid each other when we have at least one lesson together a day. I get mixed singles off him because he was the one who texted me "I love you" when we weren't even friends and he's has about four girlfriends this year so??? And he told me happy birthday about four times on my birthday two months ago and that's the only time since May we've talked.
/rant

I'm sorry I've done some whining. Just needed to get things off my chest and the fact he's constantly on my mind after seven months of us not being friends is confusing me


----------



## M O L K O

Ty~ said:


> I don't hate allies, I'm glad there are allies in the first place! But I do dislike when some allies think they are owed something for being allies or they try forcefully include themselves in thing they don't belong...
> 
> Also;
> "I hate homophobic people! How dare they be like that!"
> "I hate when white, cis allies try to help! How dare they!"
> 
> I understand that some things allies can do are... questionable. But they are not all bad.



I can't agree more with this post.


----------



## Stevey Queen

RhinoK said:


> I'm confused myself, which is usual, given my age. I've had a past relationship with girls (well - one, for two years, pls don't judge I was nine when it started) but I had this really intense feeling of bromance with someone and I told him everything and hugged him and got him little gifts and it was a strong friendship but I've had a lot of problems at home and I'd used to SH (which he knew) and I'd just have bursts of anger and abuse him and I can't really blame it on my anger because I'd feel like I enjoy it. To put it simple, I said a one name too many.Seven months have passed and we're complete strangers even though we literally can't avoid each other when we have at least one lesson together a day. I get mixed singles off him because he was the one who texted me "I love you" when we weren't even friends and he's has about four girlfriends this year so??? And he told me happy birthday about four times on my birthday two months ago and that's the only time since May we've talked.
> /rant
> 
> I'm sorry I've done some whining. Just needed to get things off my chest and the fact he's constantly on my mind after seven months of us not being friends is confusing me



Aww that's a cute story XD parts of it anyways. You should apologize for your angry outbursts and try to regain your friendship with him.


----------



## Zeiro

Jas0n said:


> There is an attractive guy at work whom I wish to pounce on but I am far too awkward. Sadtimes.


Well don't be afraid to go with your gut. A few days ago, I started chattin it up with this attractive cashier at the mall and he gave me his number. POUNCE ON ME PLEASE


----------



## Twisted Circuits

RhinoK said:


> I'm confused myself, which is usual, given my age. I've had a past relationship with girls (well - one, for two years, pls don't judge I was nine when it started) but I had this really intense feeling of bromance with someone and I told him everything and hugged him and got him little gifts and it was a strong friendship but I've had a lot of problems at home and I'd used to SH (which he knew) and I'd just have bursts of anger and abuse him and I can't really blame it on my anger because I'd feel like I enjoy it. To put it simple, I said a one name too many.Seven months have passed and we're complete strangers even though we literally can't avoid each other when we have at least one lesson together a day. I get mixed singles off him because he was the one who texted me "I love you" when we weren't even friends and he's has about four girlfriends this year so??? And he told me happy birthday about four times on my birthday two months ago and that's the only time since May we've talked.
> /rant
> 
> I'm sorry I've done some whining. Just needed to get things off my chest and the fact he's constantly on my mind after seven months of us not being friends is confusing me



Since you feel this way, talk to him.  If you don't it will haunt you for a long time.


----------



## Alt For Norge

I'm gay and in a relationship, but his parents are very religious so :l He escaped to my house though. He still gets abuse texts from his parents, and so do I, but he switched to a new phone today, so yay.


----------



## AddyShmaddy

im genderqueer! i like to stay as andro as possible and i really prefer male pronouns.

i guess im pansexual but for more masculine people i have some really specific preferences (its gonna take a lot of explaining to do ong so i wont do it)

but see i made my mayor a girl and i have 2 of my dreamies and ive done so much on the game i dont wanna erase it all just to make my character a boy its just like real life


----------



## oath2order

Look what I found!

http://oath2order.tumblr.com/post/70374006536/capirony-graceebooks-upworthy-the-gay


----------



## RhinoK

Twisted Circuits said:


> Since you feel this way, talk to him.  If you don't it will haunt you for a long time.





LoveMcQueen said:


> Aww that's a cute story XD parts of it anyways. You should apologize for your angry outbursts and try to regain your friendship with him.



I try to but I'm either too afraid or he's busy and I'm so discouraged when I see him and I've asked his friends for his number and I don't care if he likes me or not I just want us to end on good terms so I can get my mind off him. It doesn't help there's rumours I have counselling because I got "erections" over him (I don't even know where it came from but it was convenient it was when I started counselling) and the only real friend I actually have is a girl and I don't like how I depress her by being so selfish and depressed. I know I have to talk to him and I'll try tomorrow and/or Friday. I'm just really fragile after these past few months and I can't enjoy anything in life anymore.


----------



## Zeiro

oath2order said:


> Look what I found!
> 
> http://oath2order.tumblr.com/post/70374006536/capirony-graceebooks-upworthy-the-gay


tsundere posted this yesterday



tsundere said:


> washington is so gay tbh


----------



## Jake

JackAddictedToMaple<3 said:


> I'm gay and in a relationship, but his parents are very religious so :l He escaped to my house though. He still gets abuse texts from his parents, and so do I, but he switched to a new phone today, so yay.



but jesus loves everyone!

i am sorry u had to go thru this


----------



## RhinoK

I'm gonna give a Christmas card and a big box of Quality Streets saying sorry and stuff here's hoping it goes well.
He was pretty homo with me and he seemed really hurt when I got angry and said "OHMYGOD ONE SECOND" when he was tapping my shoulder when I was talking to my other friend so here's hoping I'm that gay friend he misses and loves


----------



## Static Spark

I had no idea there was a thread like this here~ nice to see a lot of support and people being open about it  I myself am a gay male (who's already taken!), I can definitely offer advice if anyone needs it~


----------



## Princess Weeb

Static Spark said:


> I had no idea there was a thread like this here~ nice to see a lot of support and people being open about it  I myself am a gay male (who's already taken!), I can definitely offer advice if anyone needs it~



u_u preach it bbe 
mm
i'm really surprised that this thread hasn't been taken off due to fighting actually. The people on here aren't too bad about topics like this, which is great!


----------



## Stevey Queen

Opinions on the Duck Dynasty thing? I didn't find it as offensive as the world is making out to be (I only read a quote of what he said that my friend just sent me)

I think he's entitled to his opinion but probably shouldn't have brought up a touchy subject on tv.

Please nobody yell at me....


----------



## glumAbettor

Duck Dynasty thing? *cringe* What happened?

*Edit:* I just googled what he said. I'm not really "offended" by what he said, I'm just really annoyed. And you're right, he does have the right to have an opinion. But he's trying to tell people that they're wrong for their preferences _because of *his* opinion_ towards male anatomy. And, well, since he is entitled to have that opinion, I also am entitled to the opinion that he is intolerant garbage. 

I suppose that doesn't mean much though, coming from someone who doesn't care for Duck Dynasty.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Basically what I have been informed, I didn't do research, some guy named phil said he didn't understand the attraction to a man's anus compared to a vagina and called it sinful. I didn't find this part offensive but his show has been suspended.

Also, just discovered this like 5 mins ago but he compared homosexuality to bestiality. Which I actually do find offensive.

And he said something like black people liked working in the fields even when they were slaves, or something dumb like that.


----------



## glumAbettor

Omfg what an awful person.


----------



## oath2order

...It's *Duck Dynasty*. Why are people shocked and offended by this? It's a show about rednecks who run a duck-hunting supply business.

Seriously, I'd be surprised if he came out in FAVOR of homosexuality.


----------



## glumAbettor

I agree that it's not surprising that he would feel that way. But what he said is still offensive, no matter how predictable his outlook is. 

And I think the shock comes from the fact that A & E thought it might be okay to air the interview, and that they only punished the guy AFTER the viewers got angry and offended.


----------



## oath2order

It's not offensive to me.

A&E shouldn't have aired the interview though. Total publicity stunt.

- - - Post Merge - - -

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2013/12/n-m-supreme-court-declares-same-sex-marriage-legal-statewide/

oh and this


----------



## Fearthecuteness

This is a good thread to have. I'm bi. Had more guys then girls even though I rarely find a guy attractive. Go figure.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Fearthecuteness said:


> This is a good thread to have. I'm bi. Had more guys then girls even though I rarely find a guy attractive. Go figure.



Woo same


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Woo! Go us. XD


----------



## Cannome

lesbian here


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Welcome.


----------



## RhinoK

OK so I got him a box of Quality Streets and a lil mini chocolate bear and card and I ran off after saying "no takebacks" and he seemed really happy but regretful and maybe it's just my mind persuading me but whatever. Considering he was treating me like I didnt exist for seven or so months and I made him smile at the least and actually spoke to me. His birthday isn't for another nine months so I don't have an excuse to buy him a present and god knows if we'll talk again so I'll be stuck being confused and angry and ugh?

I don't know if this is relevant or anything but my ex-girlfriend (please don't judge that i had a girlfriend when I was nine till I was almost 12) may be my new neighbour. I moved house and my mum saw her mum go to into a house


----------



## Twisted Circuits

RhinoK said:


> OK so I got him a box of Quality Streets and a lil mini chocolate bear and card and I ran off after saying "no takebacks" and he seemed really happy but regretful and maybe it's just my mind persuading me but whatever. Considering he was treating me like I didnt exist for seven or so months and I made him smile at the least and actually spoke to me. His birthday isn't for another nine months so I don't have an excuse to buy him a present and god knows if we'll talk again so I'll be stuck being confused and angry and ugh?
> 
> I don't know if this is relevant or anything but my ex-girlfriend (please don't judge that i had a girlfriend when I was nine till I was almost 12) may be my new neighbour. I moved house and my mum saw her mum go to into a house



Seems positive, but I still think you should talk to him and clear the air.  These things don't just disappear without some sort of communication.  Gifts are nice, really nice, but they don't take the place of a good conversation.


----------



## Stevey Queen

RhinoK said:


> OK so I got him a box of Quality Streets and a lil mini chocolate bear and card and I ran off after saying "no takebacks" and he seemed really happy but regretful and maybe it's just my mind persuading me but whatever. Considering he was treating me like I didnt exist for seven or so months and I made him smile at the least and actually spoke to me. His birthday isn't for another nine months so I don't have an excuse to buy him a present and god knows if we'll talk again so I'll be stuck being confused and angry and ugh?
> 
> I don't know if this is relevant or anything but my ex-girlfriend (please don't judge that i had a girlfriend when I was nine till I was almost 12) may be my new neighbour. I moved house and my mum saw her mum go to into a house



Next time don't run. Can you like text him? Sometimes it's easier to do confrontation over the phone.


----------



## Bacon Boy

I find it intolerable that the Supreme Court thinks that it has the right to decide on marriage. Actually, I find it disturbing that any court thinks it has that right. We were "endowed with certain inalienable rights...life liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Also, nowhere in the Constitution does it allow the government to dictate marriage. I believe that it should be up to the people to decide how to live their lives. That's my opinion at least. I have my opinion that homosexuality is wrong. But, "while I disagree with what you have to say, I will fight for your right to say it". So, in other words, I believe that we have freedom to do what we want. I shouldn't be allowed to decide how you live and neither should anyone else. It's up to you. People should be able to be free to live their livers (as long as their freedom does not infringe upon the lives of anyone else). As far as I'm concerned, you being homosexual doesn't affect my life. It's not restricting my freedom, so you have the freedom to do what you will.

tl;dr: I don't agree with it, but it's your life. You live it how you want to.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

RhinoK said:


> OK so I got him a box of Quality Streets and a lil mini chocolate bear and card and I ran off after saying "no takebacks" and he seemed really happy but regretful and maybe it's just my mind persuading me but whatever. Considering he was treating me like I didnt exist for seven or so months and I made him smile at the least and actually spoke to me. His birthday isn't for another nine months so I don't have an excuse to buy him a present and god knows if we'll talk again so I'll be stuck being confused and angry and ugh?
> 
> I don't know if this is relevant or anything but my ex-girlfriend (please don't judge that i had a girlfriend when I was nine till I was almost 12) may be my new neighbour. I moved house and my mum saw her mum go to into a house



How do you even have a girlfriend at that age? Like what can you even do at that age that would show you're in a relationship?


----------



## Bowie

Can we all just take a moment to remember something our dear old friend Morgan Freeman said once?


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Haha that's awesome. XD


----------



## Jake

Bowie said:


> Can we all just take a moment to remember something our dear old friend Morgan Freeman said once?



Not trying to be a buzz kill, but morgan freeman doesn't have twitter, that tweet came from an unofficial parody account.


----------



## Stargazer741

Bowie said:


> Can we all just take a moment to remember something our dear old friend Morgan Freeman said once?



Yeesh, thats harsh, real or not.


----------



## Cannome

^i believe that is a true statement, regardless of whether he said it or not. how is it harsh, exactly? 
anyway, on to my original post... anyone going home to an not-so-supportive family for the holidays? i am... v_v


----------



## dollydaydream

Cannome said:


> ^i believe that is a true statement, regardless of whether he said it or not. how is it harsh, exactly?
> anyway, on to my original post... anyone going home to an not-so-supportive family for the holidays? i am... v_v



Yup, it's the one thing that I'm stressing over for Christmas. 
My close friend (more like a sister though) told my parents for me that I was pansexual, I had already come out to my friends, a lot of whom were bisexual, gay, lesbian, etc. They were all really supportive and said it wouldn't change anything, I thought it's be easier coming out to my parents, they were a little less understanding seeing as I'm the first non-straight person in the family for like 7 generations, but they still said that they understood. My grandparents and some great aunts and uncles however are extremely old fashioned and thought I was joking about not being straight. It's the first time I'm seeing them since telling them, so I'm not sure how it's going to go. 
Oh well, at least I'm getting presents and pigs in blankets ^_^


----------



## Cannome

Ah, yes. I have no grandparents, etc. still alive, but my parents and I just don't speak about it (I'm a lesbian). My siblings, however, choose to make their fabulous remarks... To which I reply wittily, but it still hurts. People are people, I suppose. I haven't been to a family xmas in years, so this will be... different. lol


----------



## oath2order

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2013/12/breaking-federal-judge-strikes-down-utahs-same-sex-marriage-ban/

???

That was fast.

Right after New Mexico.


----------



## Cannome

yes, as it is unconstitutional... but they'll appeal, so short-lived for the moment.


----------



## Zeiro

http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/

I scored 4.


----------



## glumAbettor

Cannome said:


> ^i believe that is a true statement, regardless of whether he said it or not. how is it harsh, exactly?
> anyway, on to my original post... anyone going home to an not-so-supportive family for the holidays? i am... v_v



Oh gosh, I feel for you. :c I'm sorry. 

I'm very lucky to have a mom and sister who support me! They're who I'm spending my holiday with. 
The rest of my family, however, I'm not sure if they know about me or not. I visited them in spring and they seemed to have dropped some hints about knowing about me being a lesbian, but I was too scared to bring it up. I don't really mind if they know or not, though. Well, I don't mind if my family in North Dakota does, anyway. Even though they might not get it, they seem like they might not mind. 

My dad in Georgia, on the other hand, is EXTREMELY homophobic. I don't have him added on facebook, but when I creep on him, he seems to post a lot of anti-gay things. My mom also tells me that he was once good friends with this one guy while he was in the Air Force. But once the guy came out to my dad, he flipped out and actually got him discharged or whatever. 

Anyway, my North Dakota family wanted me to visit them for Christmas, but my sister and I really wanted to be with our mom instead.


----------



## oath2order

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



Six here.

Exclusively homosexual.


----------



## Jinglefruit

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



There were a couple questions I wasn't sure either way on, tried each combination of answers and whatever I done I scored a 3.  So that was conclusive. 
Still doesn't say much for the bi/pan/demi/a spectrum though.


EDIT:
On the Utah thing, I thought they'd be one of the last states to go. ~only just read that~ o:


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



I scored 4 as well.


----------



## Colour Bandit

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.


2 for me.


----------



## RhinoK

Fearthecuteness said:


> How do you even have a girlfriend at that age? Like what can you even do at that age that would show you're in a relationship?



I
don't even know
But she kept nagging so I was like sure lol
I say 'girlfriend' but it was just a nice way of putting up with a nine year old girl who starts crying after you 'beat her up' or w/e


----------



## Stevey Queen

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



I got a 6. Yay!


----------



## Mary

I scored a zero. I don't belong here, I guess, but I will always show my support!


----------



## Princess Weeb

I scored 3 yay
I wouldn't say that's completely accurate, although I'm not really to certain what *is* accurate for me atm :")


----------



## Fearthecuteness

RhinoK said:


> I
> don't even know
> But she kept nagging so I was like sure lol
> I say 'girlfriend' but it was just a nice way of putting up with a nine year old girl who starts crying after you 'beat her up' or w/e


Ah right. XD I see. Glad it wasn't a proper relationship. It's sad to see 11 years trying to grow up so quick and getting pregnant and what-not.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Fearthecuteness said:


> Ah right. XD I see. Glad it wasn't a proper relationship. It's sad to see 11 years trying to grow up so quick and getting pregnant and what-not.



oh god yeah I had a girlfriend when I was like 12
It barely lasted 2 months because she was really rude, I hated her
I think we hugged like twice throughout the whole thing

It was a pretty great relationship tbhh :")


----------



## Superpenguin

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



I got a 6. : )


----------



## RhinoK

Fearthecuteness said:


> Ah right. XD I see. Glad it wasn't a proper relationship. It's sad to see 11 years trying to grow up so quick and getting pregnant and what-not.


Oh god no no. We went on a PGL holiday and we got to pick dorms, and she asked me if I wanted to be in her dorm, albeit the dorms were sex-specified.
The only relationships I want are friendships and I like the selfless friendships were you get close and you give not receive and and yeah it's pretty much what I define as a relationship - sex and kissing and whatever. I'm just so confused because I've never had a best boy friend and I get one and it's so bromantic and then idk because I'm so attached after over half a year and maybe I'm dedicated or passionate but w.e


----------



## Sporge27

Wow this thread got long lol, surprised it is still active lol


----------



## Fearthecuteness

RhinoK said:


> Oh god no no. We went on a PGL holiday and we got to pick dorms, and she asked me if I wanted to be in her dorm, albeit the dorms were sex-specified.
> The only relationships I want are friendships and I like the selfless friendships were you get close and you give not receive and and yeah it's pretty much what I define as a relationship - sex and kissing and whatever. I'm just so confused because I've never had a best boy friend and I get one and it's so bromantic and then idk because I'm so attached after over half a year and maybe I'm dedicated or passionate but w.e



Awww well don't worry. Either things will work out between you and this guy or you'll find someone else that you'll fall in love with and you'll forget all about him.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Where is everyone?


----------



## Stevey Queen

Fearthecuteness said:


> Where is everyone?



We need a new topic.


----------



## Twisted Circuits

LoveMcQueen said:


> We need a new topic.



Why, what's wrong with this one?


----------



## Stevey Queen

Twisted Circuits said:


> Why, what's wrong with this one?



Because there's no current topic? Whatever we were talking about in this thread a few weeks ago is no longer interesting to others, hence why the thread died for a few weeks, hence why Fearthecuteness asked where everyone is.


----------



## Chessa

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



I scored an X, non-sexual and well that is accurate because I AM asexual (and bi-romantic)


----------



## oath2order

LoveMcQueen said:


> Because there's no current topic? Whatever we were talking about in this thread a few weeks ago is no longer interesting to others, hence why the thread died for a few weeks, hence why Fearthecuteness asked where everyone is.



LET'S TALK UTAH.


----------



## Twisted Circuits

Ew...  Utah?  Lets talk Oregon!  Lol...  No, really, I wanna move there.


----------



## Stevey Queen

oath2order said:


> LET'S TALK UTAH.



I love Utah.

Just kidding. I know nothing about it.

- - - Post Merge - - -



RhinoK said:


> Oh god no no. We went on a PGL holiday and we got to pick dorms, and she asked me if I wanted to be in her dorm, albeit the dorms were sex-specified.
> The only relationships I want are friendships and I like the selfless friendships were you get close and you give not receive and and yeah it's pretty much what I define as a relationship - sex and kissing and whatever. I'm just so confused because I've never had a best boy friend and I get one and it's so bromantic and then idk because I'm so attached after over half a year and maybe I'm dedicated or passionate but w.e



So update time. How is you and your guy friend?


----------



## oath2order

LoveMcQueen said:


> I love Utah.
> 
> Just kidding. I know nothing about it.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> So update time. How is you and your guy friend?



They legalized same-sex marriage and it was upheld by all but one court.

The Supreme Court is reviewing the law. I think it'd be hysterical if they found the law to be unconstitutional and then made it so that it was legal countrywide. It'd be ironic too, because the whole thing originated from Utah, home of the crazy anti-gay Mormons.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

LoveMcQueen said:


> I love Utah.
> 
> Just kidding. I know nothing about it.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> So update time. How is you and your guy friend?



Yeah. I'm intrigued too.


----------



## Stevey Queen

oath2order said:


> They legalized same-sex marriage and it was upheld by all but one court.
> 
> The Supreme Court is reviewing the law. I think it'd be hysterical if they found the law to be unconstitutional and then made it so that it was legal countrywide. It'd be ironic too, because the whole thing originated from Utah, home of the crazy anti-gay Mormons.



I just want Florida and Colorado to legalize same-sex marriage already because I'm going to be in either one of those states when I do get married.

Not that I have anyone to marry anyways D:


----------



## Twisted Circuits

I live in florida now...  It's a mess.  We have two seasons, hot and hotter.  Road rage is a serious problem and because of that insurance is extremely expensive.  Lax EPA standards have created a precarious situation with the ground water.  The water is acidic enough that it erodes the bed rock.  Companies pump out the ground water and sell it around the country.  This creates pockets of emptiness which eventually turn into sink holes.

There are almost no labor rights here and we have a legal system which favors the rich immensly.  Land prices are rediculous and the education system is one of the worst in the country.  On the flip side our healthcare system is pretty good thanks to all the elderly.  You'll pay through the nose for it though.

As to gay marriage in Florida?  It will never happen by legislative process, and not by the state courts.  Despite having more left/liberal voters than right/conservatives, Florida remains dominantly Republican.  They've been in power long enough that they've redrawn the districts in their favor.  It would take a democratic super majority to root them out.


----------



## Chessa

I live in the Netherlands and I'm so happy that people can marry whoever they want here  I will never get married but I absolutely believe everyone should have the right to marry their true love and than it shouldn't matter if they are gay/lesbian/transgender/any other sexual orientation. Love is love and that isn't restricted to gender, race or age.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Twisted Circuits said:


> I live in florida now...  It's a mess.  We have two seasons, hot and hotter.  Road rage is a serious problem and because of that insurance is extremely expensive.  Lax EPA standards have created a precarious situation with the ground water.  The water is acidic enough that it erodes the bed rock.  Companies pump out the ground water and sell it around the country.  This creates pockets of emptiness which eventually turn into sink holes.
> 
> There are almost no labor rights here and we have a legal system which favors the rich immensly.  Land prices are rediculous and the education system is one of the worst in the country.  On the flip side our healthcare system is pretty good thanks to all the elderly.  You'll pay through the nose for it though.
> 
> As to gay marriage in Florida?  It will never happen by legislative process, and not by the state courts.  Despite having more left/liberal voters than right/conservatives, Florida remains dominantly Republican.  They've been in power long enough that they've redrawn the districts in their favor.  It would take a democratic super majority to root them out.



Seriously. I hate it here. It was cold last week. Now today was blazing. Not cool. The water thing was gross. Didn't want to know that..

Also there is seriously too much old people here and for whatever reason they all smell like they roll around in poop before going out in public. There's also nothing to do here in Pinellas county. Super boring.

I just wanna move. Ugh


----------



## Twisted Circuits

Woah...  I live in Pinellas County as well...  Small internet.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Twisted Circuits said:


> Woah...  I live in Pinellas County as well...  Small internet.



*holds hand* we could like...totally get coffee sometime.

I don't like coffee..


----------



## Mary

This is the only time I will be raging, but..

Has anybody ever said something along the lines of "so you decided to be gay?"
I hate it when people say that.  I mean, DECIDE? It's like they think it was your own choice. 
As if, given the choice, you would chose to be the one that didn't fit in, the one that no one understands. As if you asked to be bullied. So ignorant!


----------



## Stevey Queen

Mary said:


> This is the only time I will be raging, but..
> 
> Has anybody ever said something along the lines of "so you decided to be gay?"
> I hate it when people say that.  I mean, DECIDE? It's like they think it was your own choice.
> As if, given the choice, you would chose to be the one that didn't fit in, the one that no one understands. As if you asked to be bullied. So ignorant!



I hate those questions. I got them all the time in high school. All they have to do is apply it to themselves and then they will realize how pointless their questions are. Haha I hate when virgin straight guys ask "how do you know you like guys if you never did it with a girl?" And I'm just like neither have you..


----------



## Neriifur

Do any of you live in areas where people still have issues with LGBT?  I haven't heard of people having issues with any of that in -years-.  Around 5 years ago f****t used to be used against homosexuals and what-not, but as of the recent few years, it's come to be considered -only- a derogatory term against annoying people... or at least the areas I've lived in.  I'm really happy anti-LGBT people are getting slowly pushed out of society.  When I was growing up, the idea of being homosexuality was horrible.. and the fact that I liked females so much.. well I never discussed it with anyone, because I would get ridiculed by everyone, including my family.  Even my friends were VERY VERY anti gay.    In high school and middle school kids would pick on other's and what-not for even the slightest idea of it, and it was rarely ever mentioned.. but now it seems like everyone is becoming so open-minded to it.  It's really great.


----------



## radical6

Neriifur said:


> Do any of you live in areas where people still have issues with LGBT?  I haven't heard of people having issues with any of that in -years-.  Around 5 years ago f****t used to be used against homosexuals and what-not, but as of the recent few years, it's come to be considered -only- a derogatory term against annoying people... or at least the areas I've lived in.  I'm really happy anti-LGBT people are getting slowly pushed out of society.  When I was growing up, the idea of being homosexuality was horrible.. and the fact that I liked females so much.. well I never discussed it with anyone, because I would get ridiculed by everyone, including my family.  Even my friends were VERY VERY anti gay.    In high school and middle school kids would pick on other's and what-not for even the slightest idea of it, and it was rarely ever mentioned.. but now it seems like everyone is becoming so open-minded to it.  It's really great.



pretty much all the girls at my school say "i love gays theyre so cute" which is okay but kinda annoying?? and pretty much everyone only cares about the G in LGBT+ sadly? i mean thats good and all but...yeah. i guess no ones really homophobic around here anymore considering i live in seattle but there are still a lot of transphobia around here and no one even knows what the rest of the letters stands for. 

idk i guess theyre accepted here but people still seem..uncomfortable to the idea. like i once hinted i wasnt straight (im pan) and they suddenly assumed i was lesbian and thought i had a crush on one of them and it was really annoying? i guess people are becoming more open minded but they seem so shocked. idk if u get what im saying??


----------



## DoctorGallifrey

I'm straight, but I have friends and people who I consider family who are bi and gay. So I support it

Not to mention I'm a supporter of Equal Rights in general


----------



## Hype

I live in Washington state and gay marriage is legal here... So I'm happy about that. Eventually I'll be able to marry my honey. <3


----------



## Twisted Circuits

tsundere said:


> pretty much all the girls at my school say "i love gays theyre so cute" which is okay but kinda annoying?? and pretty much everyone only cares about the G in LGBT+ sadly? i mean thats good and all but...yeah. i guess no ones really homophobic around here anymore considering i live in seattle but there are still a lot of transphobia around here and no one even knows what the rest of the letters stands for.
> 
> idk i guess theyre accepted here but people still seem..uncomfortable to the idea. like i once hinted i wasnt straight (im pan) and they suddenly assumed i was lesbian and thought i had a crush on one of them and it was really annoying? i guess people are becoming more open minded but they seem so shocked. idk if u get what im saying??



The stigma against gays has always been worse than that of bi's and lesbians.  It bothers me that the transgendered don't get as much face time, as theyre the most disenfranchised of the group.  Another sad reality is that this is very much still a mans world.  Women have risen to great heights, but theres still so much more we need to do.  I dislike putting labels with equality because everyone deserves equality and to be free of discrimination.


----------



## Souji

I think the ones who don't get face time at all are asexuals (I feel sick whenever I hear people not knowing what the A even stands for. Tho I do educate them everytime in good manners, but still).

I have a friend who used to be transgender, they recently came out to me and said that they don't want to be one anymore. And the reason why they were transgender to begin with was because their crush was also transgender and was gay. So my friend wanted to get their crush's attention by starting to be trans and be the gender their crush was attracted to. It kind of made me have bit mixed feelings because you should NEVER do such things just to impress someone else. You are doing it for YOU. I'm totally okay with exploring, that's what I did and how I found myself (well I think I found myself haha). But when it's not for yourself but for someone else, it's not right. Like yeah you can be what you want and you don't need to undergo hormones or surgeries to "be trans" but when you are doing it for someone else, you're just pretending to be something you're not. It's like a gay guy insisting to be straight (maybe not the best example but first to come in mind).

I also had another friend who was trans just because they thought it was cooler than being cis and people would like them better if they were trans. Which was just plain stupid reason to "be trans". They are now cis. But they also were pretending. I just?? Can't wrap my head around it. And they have said with their OWN MOUTH that it was "cool to be trans". I would have understood it better if they were exploring gender and all, but it wasn't that even that. This friend was also super depressed when they were being trans (which I can understand but... It was different from dysphoric depression). Now they are not depressed almost at all and I know they haven't gone to any sort of treatment for depression. They didn't want to go. Another sign that they were not happy with their "trans identity" to me. But as I said, I'm happy that they are happy now.

And one thing, I hate calling myself queer. I'm super okay if you want to call you queer, but if someone calls me queer I just... snap. I don't like it, I don't like the word, I just... Can't stand being called that. No idea why since I AM queer if I have understood the term right. I try to distance myself from that term as much as possible. I also don't like calling myself trans, I don't do it in public at all because it makes me anxious. I like being stealth, I like when people think I'm cis (it makes me feel whole lot better because damn straight I wished I was cis so I wouldn't have all these damn problems). On internet it's much easier because I'm most likely not going to EVER meet any of the people I tell this. So I don't need to worry about being outed in public by someone (it's a huge fear of mine and it has happened, thanks to ignorant friends).

tl;dr - being trans is not "cool" and I don't like being called queer, no idea why


----------



## Chessa

I just stopped convincing people that I am really asexual and not "just need a REAL man to show me that blablabla"


----------



## Souji

Chessa said:


> I just stopped convincing people that I am really asexual and not "just need a REAL man to show me that blablabla"



Like seriously, why do people need to say such things? My friend always says that "if someone doesn't like apples, do people keep telling them that 'You just haven't had THE apple yet so you can't know that you don't like them'" hehe.


----------



## Chessa

I have no idea why they say those things but I totally agree with that friend  But I think it's just that people don't know and don't WANT to know. Just the idea people have that being asexual means you can't fall in love or can't be in a relationship. Sometimes I explain it but only to people who really care and really want to know


----------



## radical6

Twisted Circuits said:


> The stigma against gays has always been worse than that of bi's and lesbians.  It bothers me that the transgendered don't get as much face time, as theyre the most disenfranchised of the group.  Another sad reality is that this is very much still a mans world.  Women have risen to great heights, but theres still so much more we need to do.  I dislike putting labels with equality because everyone deserves equality and to be free of discrimination.



imo they face the same? lesbians are sexualized a lot. and i mean a lot. look at lesbian porn, its made for straight men. lesbians have gotten comments like "can i watch you and your gf do it". like..i dont think people take them seriously. idk if they get killed as much as gay men but i think they still face a lot of gross stuff. and bisexuals are often ignored and face biphobia from gay and lesbian people?? 

and i would avoid using the ''ed'' after transgender?? yeah



Chessa said:


> I just stopped convincing people that I am really asexual and not "just need a REAL man to show me that blablabla"



thats so gross omg!! eww!! tell them to frick off wtf!! 

also i saw some people say bisexuality includes non binary too?? i guess it can because the def for it is like "your gender and other genders" i think?? while other bisexuals dont want that and idk tbh its too confusing for me. ive used pansexual for a while but people always ask me "so u date pans" or dont take it seriously.

and idk if anyone else is like this but i feel sooo uncomfortable when people i dont know use she/her pronouns for me?? idk?? i would just like it better if people used they/their but i doubt people would because of "grammar"


----------



## Souji

I always call people I don't know by they- pronouns. Because it's a gateway to not accidentally use wrong pronouns for me. Tho I have had someone get angry at me for calling that person 'they' because I didn't know what this persons preferred pronouns were. Which I found weird because I had never met this person before so not sure why the person got so mad at me.

Also yesss, don't use "transgendered", just say transgender or trans/*.


----------



## SliceAndDice

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



I scored an F: The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person.
How is it even possible to answer those questions "wrong". =? Oh well...


----------



## Souji

Reizo said:


> http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
> 
> I scored 4.



I scored 2 - "Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual."
Which is pretty much correct haha


----------



## Mary

SliceAndDice said:


> I scored an F: The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person.
> How is it even possible to answer those questions "wrong". =? Oh well...



Epic fail on the creator's behalf.


----------



## Twisted Circuits

Ty~ said:


> Also yesss, don't use "transgendered", just say transgender or trans/*.



As a state of being, transgender is a verb and subject to the participle -ed.  It's not meant to offend, but grammatically I believe it is correct.


----------



## radical6

Ty~ said:


> I always call people I don't know by they- pronouns. Because it's a gateway to not accidentally use wrong pronouns for me. Tho I have had someone get angry at me for calling that person 'they' because I didn't know what this persons preferred pronouns were. Which I found weird because I had never met this person before so not sure why the person got so mad at me.
> 
> Also yesss, don't use "transgendered", just say transgender or trans/*.



i know some TERFs (trans exclusive radfems) that use 'they' pronouns on trans women even when they know their pronouns are she/her so i can kinda see why that person was upset? but yeah you didnt know!! but i end up using they/their pronouns for everyone too (if i dont know their pronouns). i think thats the safest route too yeah because like..they can be used for everyone i think? but i can totally see why that person was upset.

tbh i wanna use non binary pronouns but i feel like ill get laughed at ?? (and i dont want to explain to my family or school friends) though i heard in sweden they made an offical nonbinary pronoun (hen i think) which is cool!! but i feel like if people used they/their pronouns for me that would be okay though




Twisted Circuits said:


> As a state of being, transgender is a verb and subject to the participle -ed.  It's not meant to offend, but grammatically I believe it is correct.



what... okay.. um.. idk how to explain it because im too tired but i would honestly avoid saying that esp if youre cis. i dont really care if its grammatically correct because it can be rude?? (i dont think it is anyway because i saw a post a while ago talking about how it isnt correct)


----------



## Beary

I'm honestly not sure which one I am. It doesn't matter, to be honest. I'm pretty sure I am straight, but you never know at the age of 12. xD 

I have nothing against lesbians & gay people. To be honest, I think that they are brave and kind.
c: Yay Gay rights


----------



## Souji

tsundere said:


> though i heard in sweden they made an offical nonbinary pronoun (hen i think) which is cool!!



In Finland we've always had neutral pronoun "h?n". We don't have gendered pronouns at all. x) Tho we all call each other "se" which is "it". And it's not offensive to anyone. It's not just thing with teens, literally almost everyone calls each other that haha. Even our president is "it". It's just a cultural thing, we never offend anyone by calling someone it. And h?n is more used in a sarcastic tone.

Tho it's great our neighbor is getting neutral pronoun, but it's not new thing in the Nordic countries.


----------



## radical6

Ty~ said:


> In Finland we've always had neutral pronoun "h?n". We don't have gendered pronouns at all. x) Tho we all call each other "se" which is "it". And it's not offensive to anyone. It's not just thing with teens, literally almost everyone calls each other that haha. Even our president is "it". It's just a cultural thing, we never offend anyone by calling someone it. And h?n is more used in a sarcastic tone.
> 
> Tho it's great our neighbor is getting neutral pronoun, but it's not new thing in the Nordic countries.



ahh thats awesome! i wish we had something like that here. over in america, everyone pretty much uses female and male pronouns and look at you weird if you dont want either.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

I think every country should start refuring to everyone as "it". Would be awesome.


----------



## Tenyu

Is anyone else peeved that that online Kinsey scale quiz scores you as being less gay (as a man) if you don't say you're sexually submissive? WAT?!


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Who cares? It's only a silly quiz to be taken for fun.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> also i saw some people say bisexuality includes non binary too?? i guess it can because the def for it is like "your gender and other genders" i think?? while other bisexuals dont want that and idk tbh its too confusing for me. ive used pansexual for a while but people always ask me "so u date pans" or dont take it seriously.
> 
> and idk if anyone else is like this but i feel sooo uncomfortable when people i dont know use she/her pronouns for me?? idk?? i would just like it better if people used they/their but i doubt people would because of "grammar"



I dunno if bisexuality includes non-binary. I mean, yeah, it COULD, but bi is a prefix typically associated with "two".


----------



## Tenyu

Fearthecuteness said:


> Who cares? It's only a silly quiz to be taken for fun.



I care. "Silly" or not it reinforces heteronormative, sexist ideas of what a relationship should look like.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> I dunno if bisexuality includes non-binary. I mean, yeah, it COULD, but bi is a prefix typically associated with "two".


yeah it could and ive always thought of bisexuality as being attracted to just girls and boys. though some bi people hate the term pansexual (and they hate pansexuals bc?? i get why some trans people do because like..ive seen pan people say "i dont see gender" which is kinda dumb) so they go with bisexual instead



Tenyu said:


> I care. "Silly" or not it reinforces heteronormative, sexist ideas of what a relationship should look like.



isnt the first two questions kinda transphobic too omg (like what gender were you born as, what gender do you identify as.. which kinda says "you werent born a girl/boy/etc")


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Tenyu said:


> I care. "Silly" or not it reinforces heteronormative, sexist ideas of what a relationship should look like.



Just don't take it seriously. No matter what your score is on there you know it's not gonna be accurate. Only you can decide on how strong your sexuality is.


----------



## Big Forum User

I support it, people who don't, I don't know what to say. (that is, something to say that's civil)


----------



## Lazyrs9090

I'm in the closet, but no one questions it because I don't fit into the stereotype. I have a deep, booming voice, and I guess I have a lot of testosterone.
Some guys think it's weird how I don't talk about girls like how straight guys do, but they don't question it because they assume that's how introverted people are like when it comes to sexual conversations.


----------



## oath2order

http://www.advocate.com/politics/tr...ares-bible-quoting-councilman-stone-her-death

Dis is hardcore.


----------



## radical6

i remember when my old cis gay friend would look at people and go "i think theyre trans because of their facial structure" and i was like wtf?? or be heavily transphobic and say hes not attracted to trans men and can tell when theyre trans because of their face. im like. are you okay. ?? do people actually like...say that..?? like has anyone ever given you this argument before?? ive heard many people justify their transphobia but this one was the weirdest one ive ever heard. literally its a face..."you can tell if theyre a trans boy if their facial structure is blahblahbah" and i was just so disgusted lmao. (he would harass me so ooo many times when i deleted him for being a transphobe)


----------



## Jake

FIXING UP HIDDEN POST


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> i remember when my old cis gay friend would look at people and go "i think theyre trans because of their facial structure" and i was like wtf?? or be heavily transphobic and say hes not attracted to trans men and can tell when theyre trans because of their face. im like. are you okay. ?? do people actually like...say that..?? like has anyone ever given you this argument before?? ive heard many people justify their transphobia but this one was the weirdest one ive ever heard. literally its a face..."you can tell if theyre a trans boy if their facial structure is blahblahbah" and i was just so disgusted lmao. (he would harass me so ooo many times when i deleted him for being a transphobe)



I can understand not being attracted to trans men. You can't help who you're attracted to. But what he was saying, I mean, that ain't right. You can't judge someone on who they are just entirely because of their facial structure.

Now, I mean, men tend to have a larger jaw and chin, and men tend to have a larger skull than women. Women tend to have smaller noses and their face is more rounded. These are all generalizations, of course, but maybe that's what your friend is going off of?

Even so, that's still broad generalizations, and you shouldn't say "I think they're trans because X".


----------



## xTurnip

LoveMcQueen said:


> Do you think that you are born gay? What's your opinion?



I think you can be both born gay and become gay... If that makes any sense.

Kind of like the nature/nurture thing.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'd 'classify' myself as bisexual. When I was 14ish I was in love with this girl that was 3 or 4 years older than me, we dated for 6ish months, (I say ish a lot... my bad lol.), then she met her then husband, broke it off, (nicely by the way) and had his child. She died when I was 16 (not saying this for attention or anything... felt it was important to the story), and a part of me will *always* love her. She has a beautiful son.

Then I met my now boyfriend when I was 16, and we've been dating for 3 years, there's a big age gap, but I'm bothered by it.

I still love women, but I also love my boyfriend. 

Heh... sorry if this didn't make much sense, I saw a person post about how they couldn't imagine loving fe/males, and wanted to share my story. 

I love both males and females, yes, they're totally different from each other, but I think that's why I do.


----------



## Lazyrs9090

tsundere said:


> i remember when my old cis gay friend would look at people and go "i think theyre trans because of their facial structure" and i was like wtf?? or be heavily transphobic and say hes not attracted to trans men and can tell when theyre trans because of their face. im like. are you okay. ?? do people actually like...say that..?? like has anyone ever given you this argument before?? ive heard many people justify their transphobia but this one was the weirdest one ive ever heard. literally its a face..."you can tell if theyre a trans boy if their facial structure is blahblahbah" and i was just so disgusted lmao. (he would harass me so ooo many times when i deleted him for being a transphobe)


Sounds like a ****. You can't use physiognomy to decide whether a person is transgendered or not. They may just be born that way.


----------



## radical6

how do u guys feel with the new pronouns ppl r making up??????? (bunself, daeself etc) mostly the new pronouns people are making right now that seem cute.
idk ive always used fae and they/them pronouns before people started making them and i honestly have no problem with them ?? unless fae is considered one of the cute new pronouns ????(i dont think it is because ive seen it used by people like a year or two ago ???????)  and now i feel kinda ...bad using fae pronouns with all these posts against the pronouns and ?? yeah
like i see how it upsets some nb people but idk as long as the pronoun makes them comfortable ill use the pronouns they prefer ??


----------



## oath2order

where are people using them and what the **** is bunself, daeself even supposed to mean.


----------



## Stevey Queen

tsundere said:


> how do u guys feel with the new pronouns ppl r making up??????? (bunself, daeself etc) mostly the new pronouns people are making right now that seem cute.
> idk ive always used fae and they/them pronouns before people started making them and i honestly have no problem with them ?? unless fae is considered one of the cute new pronouns ????(i dont think it is because ive seen it used by people like a year or two ago ???????)  and now i feel kinda ...bad using fae pronouns with all these posts against the pronouns and ?? yeah
> like i see how it upsets some nb people but idk as long as the pronoun makes them comfortable ill use the pronouns they prefer ??



What are these things that you speak of?


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> where are people using them and what the **** is bunself, daeself even supposed to mean.


theyre nonbinary pronouns....?????????
so like
bun/buns/bunself i think ? i cant really remember
i dont use them and im just using they/them



LoveMcQueen said:


> What are these things that you speak of?



nonbinary pronouns ?????????
i probably wasnt very clear in my post, sorry

but i see how the community is upset about people making pronouns over objects and stuff? i mean i dont really mind tbh? i think theyre cute but i probably wont use them idk


----------



## oath2order

I just use the binary pronouns until told otherwise


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> I just use the binary pronouns until told otherwise


you mean u would use female and male pronouns??
idk like..if u do that u will kinda end up misgendering people. i honestly think the best way to not misgender someone if u dont know their pronouns is they/them but whatever


----------



## harvington

tsundere said:


> how do u guys feel with the new pronouns ppl r making up??????? (bunself, daeself etc) mostly the new pronouns people are making right now that seem cute.
> idk ive always used fae and they/them pronouns before people started making them and i honestly have no problem with them ?? unless fae is considered one of the cute new pronouns ????(i dont think it is because ive seen it used by people like a year or two ago ???????)  and now i feel kinda ...bad using fae pronouns with all these posts against the pronouns and ?? yeah
> like i see how it upsets some nb people but idk as long as the pronoun makes them comfortable ill use the pronouns they prefer ??


I think if someone asked me, face to face in person, to use pronouns like that I might have a different opinion... but the only place I have seen that as of right now is tumblr. I literally saw someone saying they wanted "bot" pronouns (botself, etc) because they wanted to be "an android that was brought to sentience and didn't understand human emotion" or some other thing like that.

it's just disappointing that people treat gender identities like a roleplaying game. coming straight out and saying that you're using non-traditional pronouns because you want to play pretend you are something else (like a robot, or a faerie, or an animal) is bizarre and has really unfortunate implications for other NB individuals who have different personal pronouns. ehhh.


----------



## Zeiro

Actually most trans* and non-binary people don't mind if you ask them which pronouns they prefer. As long as you ask kindly and not be rude about it by saying something like "So like, what ARE you exactly?".

If you want to be super safe use them/their/etc., but that's still a little iffy.


----------



## oath2order

Reizo said:


> Actually most trans* and non-binary people don't mind if you ask them which pronouns they prefer. As long as you ask kindly and not be rude about it by saying something like "So like, what ARE you exactly?".
> 
> If you want to be super safe use them/their/etc., but that's still a little iffy.



Well, the problem with that is two things:

I can't exactly ask everybody "What's your pronouns?" because then I'll just get confused looks.

The other thing is I don't know who's trans* or non-binary, hence leading to the problem above.


----------



## radical6

harvington said:


> I think if someone asked me, face to face in person, to use pronouns like that I might have a different opinion... but the only place I have seen that as of right now is tumblr. I literally saw someone saying they wanted "bot" pronouns (botself, etc) because they wanted to be "an android that was brought to sentience and didn't understand human emotion" or some other thing like that.
> 
> it's just disappointing that people treat gender identities like a roleplaying game. coming straight out and saying that you're using non-traditional pronouns because you want to play pretend you are something else (like a robot, or a faerie, or an animal) is bizarre and has really unfortunate implications for other NB individuals who have different personal pronouns. ehhh.



idk i saw someone said they came up with fire related pronouns because they feel as if their gender is fire. idk like..some pronouns are otherkin only and? im just kinda confused by everything.
though, its not NB individual's faults (those who are using the new pronouns) its the people who wont respect NB pronouns in general i guess??? im very iffy on the topic because i see how some NB folks are hurt by this..but then like. they like these pronouns more because they feel more comfortable with them. i think this is an issue that should really only be talked about by NB folks. someone said a cis person was making a pronoun post and? i got bad vibes from that because like - why are you making pronoun posts??? (they made a list) like..um..why are you making these???/ omg




Reizo said:


> Actually most trans* and non-binary people don't mind if you ask them which pronouns they prefer. As long as you ask kindly and not be rude about it by saying something like "So like, what ARE you exactly?".
> 
> If you want to be super safe use them/their/etc., but that's still a little iffy.



i know ive used "trans*" in the past but i stop using it now. trans*  *is actually kinda hurtful for these reasons.* trans works just fine as an umbrella term. also yeah, as a nb person i wouldnt mind. and yeaah using they/them can be iffy - if you know what pronouns to use, dont use they/them on purpose. that can come off as rude. (ex: trans women not being seen as real women so people use they/them pronouns)



oath2order said:


> Well, the problem with that is two things:
> 
> I can't exactly ask everybody "What's your pronouns?" because then I'll just get confused looks.
> 
> The other thing is I don't know who's trans* or non-binary, hence leading to the problem above.



again what i said to reizo, dont use trans*
i guess like if you ask people who dont know very much about the topic they'll just look at you weird. but i think its better to be safe than sorry than to misgender someone. so like. use they/them or at least try avoid being personal and maybe rephrase what you would say to avoid using pronouns until they like correct you or something? idk


----------



## Gizmodo

Mhm.. i have so much more i could contribute on here but im not ready to talk openly yet even on the internet ffs


----------



## Amykins

Reizo said:


> Actually most trans* and non-binary people don't mind if you ask them which pronouns they prefer. As long as you ask kindly and not be rude about it by saying something like "So like, what ARE you exactly?".
> 
> If you want to be super safe use them/their/etc., but that's still a little iffy.



I am friends with three trans women. None of them are happy if you ask them "which pronoun do you prefer". They are female, and they want to be treated as female. Period.


----------



## radical6

Amykins said:


> I am friends with three trans women. None of them are happy if you ask them "which pronoun do you prefer". They are female, and they want to be treated as female. Period.



im afab so i cant really speak on this but i guess reizo meant more like. if this is your first time ever meeting someone its okay to ask which pronouns they use? i didnt know if that would come off as rude. i dont think he meant to say that trans women arent women or anything like that uh yeah. like obv if i knew they were women i would use female pronouns for them. but if i know nothing about them then i dont want to make assumptions about their gender, so i would ask what pronouns they use.


----------



## Mercedes

I am very confused about my sexuality...I like guys but...I could *Do it* Will a girl...I mean I have... I just don't know ;-; *sigh*


----------



## radical6

Luckypinch said:


> I am very confused about my sexuality...I like guys but...I could *Do it* Will a girl...I mean I have... I just don't know ;-; *sigh*



you dont need to have your sexuality figured out so early ok its ok


----------



## Mercedes

tsundere said:


> you dont need to have your sexuality figured out so early ok its ok


Yes.I feel lost at times..it's very hard..and if I am "biosexual" I could never tell my bffs...they'd think I have crush's on them ;-; so....yeah...


----------



## kasane

You, yourself may feel happy being l, g, t or b, but the *society* will look down on you for being that way. I, personally don't mind if someone is l, g, t or b although I do understand how some people would find it a bit weird. 
For those that are confused and are worried about how your family/friends will react, it might be the best if you tell them what you are going through and how you feel. 
My school has a programme which helps support these people and help them if they are confused.

okay now I feel kind of guilty for me liking yaoi ;__;


----------



## Mercedes

KitsuneNikki said:


> You, yourself may feel happy being l, g, t or b, but the *society* will look down on you for being that way. I, personally don't mind if someone is l, g, t or b although I do understand how some people would find it a bit weird.
> For those that are confused and are worried about how your family/friends will react, it might be the best if you tell them what you are going through and how you feel.
> My school has a programme which helps support these people and help them if they are confused.
> 
> okay now I feel kind of guilty for me liking yaoi ;__;


It's ok if you like yaoi. I just am scared of what people would say and such.. T^T... Their are biosexual girls in my school..one of them being my friend Margert. She is the only one who know's about my secret. I am myself here. People accept me!  I feel happy, And this is hard for me.. I have panic attacks, a lot so I go to school and go home. I don't like leaving town. But...I am happy here. And if I am biosexual. Let me be. It's between me and god. ;-; I think I am scared of my dad the most. My parents split up four years ago. I was really happy, (this is another story for another time.) He hates homosexual people..He says it's a sin, I believe that..if you are homosexual..you are be happy no one should judge you. It's your life! You live it the way you want! My mom is the same way sadly...she accepts homosexuals but thinks it's wrong, I know she would love me still though...I never talk to my dad...I fear him though...I better stop chattering..


----------



## Trundle

Luckypinch said:


> It's ok if you like yaoi. I just am scared of what people would say and such.. T^T... Their are biosexual girls in my school..one of them being my friend Margert. She is the only one who know's about my secret. I am myself here. People accept me!  I feel happy, And this is hard for me.. I have panic attacks, a lot so I go to school and go home. I don't like leaving town. But...I am happy here. And if I am biosexual. Let me be. It's between me and god. ;-; I think I am scared of my dad the most. My parents split up four years ago. I was really happy, (this is another story for another time.) He hates homosexual people..He says it's a sin, I believe that..if you are homosexual..you are be happy no one should judge you. It's your life! You live it the way you want! My mom is the same way sadly...she accepts homosexuals but thinks it's wrong, I know she would love me still though...I never talk to my dad...I fear him though...I better stop chattering..



Well, according to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin, in most Christians opinions. Despite that, it doesn't mean you're less of a Christian than anyone else. Guess what else is a sin? Divorce, lust, and having anger. Just because you have sin in your life doesn't mean anyone else has the right to judge (judging is also a sin). If you are like that, and your parents are Christian (assuming because you said they think it's a sin, and who would really care if they weren't other than for spiteful purposes), then they should accept you and not treat you any differently than you already are. As a Christian, I treat everyone the same, regardless of how they live their life. That's what the Bible calls Christians to do.


----------



## Flop

*slow clap*  I am not a fan of Christianity, but you, sir, you have given me hope.


----------



## Mercedes

Trundle said:


> Well, according to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin, in most Christians opinions. Despite that, it doesn't mean you're less of a Christian than anyone else. Guess what else is a sin? Divorce, lust, and having anger. Just because you have sin in your life doesn't mean anyone else has the right to judge (judging is also a sin). If you are like that, and your parents are Christian (assuming because you said they think it's a sin, and who would really care if they weren't other than for spiteful purposes), then they should accept you and not treat you any differently than you already are. As a Christian, I treat everyone the same, regardless of how they live their life. That's what the Bible calls Christians to do.


Thank you..I just feel alone, ;3; it's kinda hard at times, But all the kindness makes me feel a bit better..


----------



## Trundle

Flopolopagous said:


> *slow clap*  I am not a fan of Christianity, but you, sir, you have given me hope.



That's basically how a lot of non Roman Catholic Christians are. For some reason there tends to be a large difference between most Roman Catholic Christians and other (I'm nondenominational) Christians, which is probably because most people who go to Roman Catholic churches just go due to feeling guilty or because their family did. I don't even understand why Roman Catholics have confessions (especially paying for them) because that's entirely between a person and God, and has nothing to do with the pastor/priest. A lot about Roman Catholicism just bugs me in general. (But they're Christians too, anyways haha)


----------



## kasane

Luckypinch said:


> It's ok if you like yaoi. I just am scared of what people would say and such.. T^T... Their are biosexual girls in my school..one of them being my friend Margert. She is the only one who know's about my secret. I am myself here. People accept me!  I feel happy, And this is hard for me.. I have panic attacks, a lot so I go to school and go home. I don't like leaving town. But...I am happy here. And if I am biosexual. Let me be. It's between me and god. ;-; I think I am scared of my dad the most. My parents split up four years ago. I was really happy, (this is another story for another time.) He hates homosexual people..He says it's a sin, I believe that..if you are homosexual..you are be happy no one should judge you. It's your life! You live it the way you want! My mom is the same way sadly...she accepts homosexuals but thinks it's wrong, I know she would love me still though...I never talk to my dad...I fear him though...I better stop chattering..



Confessing this to your parents would be the hardest, imo.
Since they would've liked you to marry someone the opposite gender and thus the next generation. 
I'd say that your mother is very understanding, and she accepts the way you are 
But once again, it is the SOCIETY that will judge you


----------



## Mercedes

Yes, I know...I really hate society, it makes me angry..just so judge mental


----------



## radical6

have u all heard about kansas new anti gay bill? 
praying for those who live in kansas bc wow


----------



## Mary

tsundere said:


> have u all heard about kansas new anti gay bill?
> praying for those who live in kansas bc wow



Oh my God. 

Hugs to anyone living in Kansas. Come live here in VA with me, m'kay?

*totally serious, by the way*


----------



## Ashtot

tsundere said:


> have u all heard about kansas new anti gay bill?
> praying for those who live in kansas bc wow



I don't see how that could ever pass, even mentioning that will probably cause lots of hate towards the government, I'm surprised they would even try.


----------



## oath2order

That's insanity. If that passes, I'd almost certainly expect action from the ACLU.

Or the feds idk.


----------



## shananza

I'm happy theres something like this on the forums 

im a lesbian who's half in the closet. As in, I only say if i'm really close friends with someone or if it's anomynous, since I have no idea how family would react (apart from my mom, she's cool with it) and I would never come out with it in public, especially at college since it's pretty homophobic. 

There's my little piece, yo guys 

- - - Post Merge - - -

If that passed, we've gone backwards in morality ._.


----------



## radical6

the bill was shot down i remember seeing something about it being denied yesterday i think

coming out is scary man i feel you. do whatever you feel is safe. tbh i probably couldnt stand living in a very homophobic place. i would end up ripping my hair out.

im pretty much out online. irl i kinda am out to like 2 friends?? they forget my pronouns though but they didn't react badly when i told them. i tried once coming out to my parents and they shot it down right away. as long as my friends dont talk about it with my parents i think im okay.

kinda upset that my online friends who know lots of stuff about LGBTQIA+ still misgender me. i mean if its a mistake fine but when i correct you dont get snappy with me and go "jeez fine whatever". idk most of them are cis and i guess they don't really understand how annoying it is to me when they misgender me? because you know they don't really have problems with it. i dont think they do it on purpose but its been a while and they still dont have it glued in their heads. its a bit better now because they're beginning to use my pronouns for me but eh


----------



## Princess Weeb

tsundere said:


> the bill was shot down i remember seeing something about it being denied yesterday i think
> 
> coming out is scary man i feel you. do whatever you feel is safe. tbh i probably couldnt stand living in a very homophobic place. i would end up ripping my hair out.
> 
> im pretty much out online. irl i kinda am out to like 2 friends?? they forget my pronouns though but they didn't react badly when i told them. i tried once coming out to my parents and they shot it down right away. as long as my friends dont talk about it with my parents i think im okay.
> 
> kinda upset that my online friends who know lots of stuff about LGBTQIA+ still misgender me. i mean if its a mistake fine but when i correct you dont get snappy with me and go "jeez fine whatever". idk most of them are cis and i guess they don't really understand how annoying it is to me when they misgender me? because you know they don't really have problems with it. i dont think they do it on purpose but its been a while and they still dont have it glued in their heads. its a bit better now because they're beginning to use my pronouns for me but eh



But people who use the wrong gender pronouns on purpose tho </3 
ergh

And pretty much my only friend at the time (who, fyi, stole from me/treated me like absolute crap/lied about me..etc) told everyone without my permission (I was pretty much the only person in my year/the years above and below us to be out) and essentially made sure everyone thought I was an absolute freak (especially the guy who I was absolutely in love with at the time, who asked her out at least 5 times, and one of those times, she told me to say no to him for her cc  /gossiped about me behind my back.

Now all the girls wonder why I get changed in the toilets not around them? Because at the time, they all assumed I was attracted to each and every one of them (r u ok, I'm pansexual, by the way) and are literally the most spiteful and horrible groups of people I've ever come across.

I actually hate my own gender sometimes, because of them. I'm not even joking.

But my parents didn't care at all. I don't think they believe me, though.


----------



## cannedcommunism

A lot of people think I'm gay. But it's not true. I like a lot of girls, and I even asked one out last week (which, of course failed.) But I do somewhat consider myself bi at times.


----------



## Jarrad

FoxWolf64 said:


> A lot of people think I'm gay. But it's not true. I like a lot of girls, and I even asked one out last week (which, of course failed.) But I do somewhat consider myself bi at times.



Sorry, but how do you "consider yourself bisexual at times"? You either like a sex, or you don't. There's no "Ehh, I feel like being bisexual today. Straight tomorrow." Just be true to yourself - you'll gain absolutely nothing from lying to yourself.

- - - Post Merge - - -

fair enough if you're confused about your sexuality* - should of included this in my reply


----------



## Gizmodo

Eurgh anyone who can talk to me privately about some issues im facing would be sooo appreciative, its pretty serious and i dont really trust many people but still >.<


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> the bill was shot down i remember seeing something about it being denied yesterday i think


the arizona one was passed though and my friend sent me a picture of this store that had a sign that said "no fags allowed" in the window

someone get me out of this awful state please


----------



## radical6

Melleia said:


> But people who use the wrong gender pronouns on purpose tho </3
> ergh
> 
> And pretty much my only friend at the time (who, fyi, stole from me/treated me like absolute crap/lied about me..etc) told everyone without my permission (I was pretty much the only person in my year/the years above and below us to be out) and essentially made sure everyone thought I was an absolute freak (especially the guy who I was absolutely in love with at the time, who asked her out at least 5 times, and one of those times, she told me to say no to him for her cc  /gossiped about me behind my back.
> 
> Now all the girls wonder why I get changed in the toilets not around them? Because at the time, they all assumed I was attracted to each and every one of them (r u ok, I'm pansexual, by the way) and are literally the most spiteful and horrible groups of people I've ever come across.
> 
> I actually hate my own gender sometimes, because of them. I'm not even joking.
> 
> But my parents didn't care at all. I don't think they believe me, though.



yeah people who do that on purpose suck
and oh my god thats gross!! i hate people like that. i hate it when girls think you must have a crush on them if youre not straight like?? uhh no? please calm down omg





Gizmodo said:


> Eurgh anyone who can talk to me privately about some issues im facing would be sooo appreciative, its pretty serious and i dont really trust many people but still >.<


i wouldnt mind



Reizo said:


> the arizona one was passed though and my friend sent me a picture of this store that had a sign that said "no fags allowed" in the window
> 
> someone get me out of this awful state please



ew ew ew!! im so sorry. thats so gross oh my god?? really hoping they take that down because thats disgusting?? cant believe its 2014 and we just passed a gross bill. 
come up to washington ok


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> ew ew ew!! im so sorry. thats so gross oh my god?? really hoping they take that down because thats disgusting?? cant believe its 2014 and we just passed a gross bill.
> come up to washington ok


ughh i know!!

one of the AZ congress representatives (who is against SB1062) saw my friend's post on tumblr and followed him oh gosh things just got serious

we're gonna try to get this thing vetoed


----------



## radical6

Reizo said:


> ughh i know!!
> 
> one of the AZ congress representatives (who is against SB1062) saw my friend's post on tumblr and followed him oh gosh things just got serious
> 
> we're gonna try to get this thing vetoed



i hope it does go down because its amazing that it was even passed? like are you kidding me? its just..so useless. you're so scared that you're gonna serve food to a gay person? smh like theres no point to this law 

i saw a poster on tumblr that was like " we have the right to refuse service to arizona legislators" and i laughed


----------



## Superpenguin

Yeah, here's the news story about that pizzeria. 
http://m.nydailynews.com/1.1698524

Other businesses have said they will not refuse service if the bill is passed into law.


----------



## harvington

//


----------



## shananza

Gizmodo said:


> Eurgh anyone who can talk to me privately about some issues im facing would be sooo appreciative, its pretty serious and i dont really trust many people but still >.<



You can talk to me if you want, it's all cool


----------



## radical6

harvington said:


> snip



yeah i agree like. people are rude to otherkin. personally i support them. do whatever you want! but i dont think they face oppression. people are mean to them, but they dont get killed for being otherkin. people wont take them seriously, but thats not the same as transphobia. 

the new pronouns dont really feel right to me? (meaning i wouldnt use them and i prefer the other ones) but hey i see why people like them. to me my gender isnt really an object. i guess if you feel like a squid (i saw squid pronouns) then cool ill use them for you. i mean theyre cool pronouns but i probably couldnt use most of them. 

and yes - cis people cant have an opinion on this. i saw some cis people laughing at the new pronouns (and other nb pronouns in general) and it made me upset? cis people have no right to say anything about this. its a nonbinary issue. idk if binary trans prople can talk about it though..? i mean theyre trans so pronouns are a big deal but this is mostly a nb thing

also does anyone know any good binders that are cheap or good?? i dont wanna buy an uncomfortable one.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Gizmodo said:


> Eurgh anyone who can talk to me privately about some issues im facing would be sooo appreciative, its pretty serious and i dont really trust many people but still >.<



I'll pm you ok <3

It has pretty much become my online job, anyway, hehe :3


----------



## Muu

Gizmodo said:


> Is there room for people who identify as Asexual in here



yES HELLO FELLOW ACE HERE ; u; ♥


----------



## Gizmodo

Melleia said:


> I'll pm you ok <3
> 
> It has pretty much become my online job, anyway, hehe :3



Thank you for listening to me omg ^^


----------



## Muu

tsundere said:


> yeah i agree like. people are rude to otherkin. personally i support them. do whatever you want! but i dont think they face oppression. people are mean to them, but they dont get killed for being otherkin. people wont take them seriously, but thats not the same as transphobia.
> 
> the new pronouns dont really feel right to me? (meaning i wouldnt use them and i prefer the other ones) but hey i see why people like them. to me my gender isnt really an object. i guess if you feel like a squid (i saw squid pronouns) then cool ill use them for you. i mean theyre cool pronouns but i probably couldnt use most of them.
> 
> and yes - cis people cant have an opinion on this. i saw some cis people laughing at the new pronouns (and other nb pronouns in general) and it made me upset? cis people have no right to say anything about this. its a nonbinary issue. idk if binary trans prople can talk about it though..? i mean theyre trans so pronouns are a big deal but this is mostly a nb thing
> 
> also does anyone know any good binders that are cheap or good?? i dont wanna buy an uncomfortable one.



i agree with u wholeheartedly on the otherkin pronoun thing omg ;;

also have u seen these binders theyre super cheap and one of my friends got themselves one and they like it thus far


----------



## leo

Muu said:


> yES HELLO FELLOW ACE HERE ; u; ♥



yes. helo. i am asexual as well. let us b friends


----------



## radical6

Muu said:


> i agree with u wholeheartedly on the otherkin pronoun thing omg ;;
> 
> also have u seen these binders theyre super cheap and one of my friends got themselves one and they like it thus far



OOH!! thank you!!! sucks theyre sold out but ill keep my eye on them


----------



## goodra

tsundere said:


> idk if binary trans prople can talk about it though..? i mean theyre trans so pronouns are a big deal but this is mostly a nb thing



definitely for nonbinary people only

being trans doesn't necessarily mean you will get a say in everything related to trans people, because there's different issues or topics directed at specific parts of the community that not everyone in it has to face, neutral pronouns being an example of this


----------



## Big Forum User

Jake. said:


> I'm adoptive trans because male bathroom are disgusting. So when I go out I use the females, and then when they like 'y u in here' i like 'o am transgender' they liek 'o'


----------



## Cazqui

I'm an awesomesexual.


----------



## Zeiro

JunJun said:


> I'm an awesomesexual.


yeah don't


----------



## Gizmodo

And thanks tsundere for also talking to me and letting me tell you things )


----------



## Sunblink

sheepishly pokes head into this thread and waves

hi I'm graysexual/asexual/heteroromantic??? - I mean, I'm still kind of coming to terms with this and I'm still confused with a lot of aspects of my sexuality, and I don't entirely feel comfortable labeling myself until I completely understand it, but I feel like it'd make so much shift into clarity. The vast majority of my relationships have been dictated by my crippling fear of intimacy. All of it could be me misconstruing my anxiety (I have generalized anxiety disorder, which has been the source of 80% of the grief in my life). I'm just really confused and I don't know if there's any information out there that can help me and there's so much TMI B.S involved and ugh. I'm worried about coming across as an appropriative, idiotic straight girl who's confused her fear of intimacy with LGBTQIA issues.

As it turns out, most of my closest friends are asexual, which has been a happy coincidence since they've helped me sort out some things and helped me realize some parallels, but I'm still hideously confused.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> yeah i agree like. people are rude to otherkin. personally i support them. do whatever you want! but i dont think they face oppression. people are mean to them, but they dont get killed for being otherkin. people wont take them seriously, but thats not the same as transphobia.
> 
> the new pronouns dont really feel right to me? (meaning i wouldnt use them and i prefer the other ones) but hey i see why people like them. to me my gender isnt really an object. i guess if you feel like a squid (i saw squid pronouns) then cool ill use them for you. i mean theyre cool pronouns but i probably couldnt use most of them.
> 
> and yes - cis people cant have an opinion on this. i saw some cis people laughing at the new pronouns (and other nb pronouns in general) and it made me upset? cis people have no right to say anything about this. its a nonbinary issue. idk if binary trans prople can talk about it though..? i mean theyre trans so pronouns are a big deal but this is mostly a nb thing
> 
> also does anyone know any good binders that are cheap or good?? i dont wanna buy an uncomfortable one.



People are definitely rude to otherkin. They do face some sort of oppression, though it's not much compared to LGBTQIA oppression. Otherkin pretty much face oppression in that they can't talk about what they identify as, even in LGBTQIA groups, or else they find themselves laughed at. I'm not otherkin, but I have noticed this.

I've noticed that the whole gender pronoun thing is a very English thing. Most Germanic languages have a gender neutral pronoun. The Persian language uses the same pronoun for all genders.

Cis people can have an opinion on pronouns. While I would say the opinion of cis people shouldn't be the predominant opinion when it comes to non-binary pronouns, it's still an opinion nonetheless. Whatever pronouns are chosen affect us too. It would kind be like saying that since I don't own a gun, I can't have an opinion on gun legislation. Whatever legislation passes affects me, so I definitely have an opinion on it.

I do have a problem though. Can everybody using non-binary pronouns just agree on a set to use so it can be adopted for the English language? I mean, just looking at the section on Wikipedia for pronouns, just going under the nominative subject, they use the sentence "He laughed" for the example here, where "He" is replaced with E, Ey, Hu, Per, Thon, Jee, Ve, Xe, Ze, or Zhe. There's a total of 12 separate sets of pronouns there. I don't understand why the community can't agree on one set.



Sunblink said:


> sheepishly pokes head into this thread and waves
> 
> hi I'm graysexual/asexual/heteroromantic??? - I mean, I'm still kind of coming to terms with this and I'm still confused with a lot of aspects of my sexuality, and I don't entirely feel comfortable labeling myself until I completely understand it, but I feel like it'd make so much shift into clarity. The vast majority of my relationships have been dictated by my crippling fear of intimacy. All of it could be me misconstruing my anxiety (I have generalized anxiety disorder, which has been the source of 80% of the grief in my life). I'm just really confused and I don't know if there's any information out there that can help me and there's so much TMI B.S involved and ugh. I'm worried about coming across as an appropriative, idiotic straight girl who's confused her fear of intimacy with LGBTQIA issues.
> 
> As it turns out, most of my closest friends are asexual, which has been a happy coincidence since they've helped me sort out some things and helped me realize some parallels, but I'm still hideously confused.



In my opinion, I'd suggest working on your anxiety issues before you figure out your sexuality. I mean, from the looks of it, anxiety has affected your past relationships, and from what it looks like to me, it's probbly not been for the better. I'd definitely recommend working on anxiety and then trying to figure out your sexuality.


----------



## Sunblink

oath2order said:


> In my opinion, I'd suggest working on your anxiety issues before you figure out your sexuality. I mean, from the looks of it, anxiety has affected your past relationships, and from what it looks like to me, it's probbly not been for the better. I'd definitely recommend working on anxiety and then trying to figure out your sexuality.



It's definitely not been for the better. I'm not sure I'll ever be in a relationship again, and I'm significantly happier that way. I don't want to drag another heterosexual guy into a relationship with me and end up dealing with them expecting something from me that I may not ever be comfortable giving. All of what you said are good points, but considering all these problems suddenly emerged when I was in a relationship with somebody, I don't know if I can address it without subjecting myself to the same problems over again.

Hindsight is 50/50, but emotions are difficult


----------



## Princess Weeb

Gizmodo said:


> Thank you for listening to me omg ^^



It's okay bbe
I hope everything goes/went okay though! ^_^


----------



## Big Forum User

I support it, but here's a conversation I had today:

Frenemy: *quietly* Um... I wanted to tell you, someone told me your sister is a lesbian.
Me: Ummm... that's probably because she _is. There's nothing wrong with it._


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> snip



hmmm yeah i dont think its right they get laughed at. some dont mind if otherkin were included with the LGBT community but i know others who would be really pissed off if they joined. 

i mean you can have an opinion but your voice shouldn't speak over others. when i meant cis people cant have an opinion i mostly meant cis people laughing at the nonbinary pronouns. or saying how they felt as if the pronouns were silly or too much. that is not their place to judge.

i use ve pronouns and they/them. i don't expect people to use ve pronouns so most of the time people (try) to use they/them for me which is okay, i don't mind.

well i think its kinda wrong that you're saying we have to set on certain pronouns. there are many genders outside the binary and all their genders are different. i get that it might be confusing for you but it doesn't take a while to get hold of someone's preferred pronouns if you try hard enough. if we forced everyone to use one type of pronouns (for example ve pronouns) they would eventually feel like ve pronouns were apart of the gender binary. (being forced to use she, he, they, or ve) so yeah.



Big Forum User said:


> I support it, but here's a conversation I had today:
> 
> Frenemy: *quietly* Um... I wanted to tell you, someone told me your sister is a lesbian.
> Me: Ummm... that's probably because she _is. There's nothing wrong with it._


_

whenever people do that i laugh because you think lesbian/gay/bi/pan/etc people are rare species or something? is that a big shock to you? my friends would gasp or yell "THEYRE GAY???" if anyone ever talked about a gay/lesbian/bi/pan/etc couple. it pisses me off so much_


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> hmmm yeah i dont think its right they get laughed at. some dont mind if otherkin were included with the LGBT community but i know others who would be really pissed off if they joined.
> 
> i mean you can have an opinion but your voice shouldn't speak over others. when i meant cis people cant have an opinion i mostly meant cis people laughing at the nonbinary pronouns. or saying how they felt as if the pronouns were silly or too much. that is not their place to judge.
> 
> i use ve pronouns and they/them. i don't expect people to use ve pronouns so most of the time people (try) to use they/them for me which is okay, i don't mind.
> 
> well i think its kinda wrong that you're saying we have to set on certain pronouns. there are many genders outside the binary and all their genders are different. i get that it might be confusing for you but it doesn't take a while to get hold of someone's preferred pronouns if you try hard enough. if we forced everyone to use one type of pronouns (for example ve pronouns) they would eventually feel like ve pronouns were apart of the gender binary. (being forced to use she, he, they, or ve) so yeah.



Well, what I'm saying is, some languages have the three genders: He, she, non-gender-but-still-relating-to-a-person. I wish we had it in English.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Well, what I'm saying is, some languages have the three genders: He, she, non-gender-but-still-relating-to-a-person. I wish we had it in English.



oh. isnt that they/them pronouns?


----------



## radical6

do you guys think qu**r is a slur? (censoring it since just in case it makes people uncomfortable)

idk i heard it used as a slur once but it's not a slur here. i was kinda shocked when people told me it was a slur and makes people uncomfortable. i remember people were upset at other people for using it as a blanket term  
for example
"all qu**r people are wonderful"
basically they didnt want to be referred to with the word qu**r. but at the same time i feel as if the community has kinda reclaimed it?? i mean the people upset by the word qu**r said its okay if you use it for yourself but you shouldn't force it on others. i guess its kinda like lesbian people reclaiming the word d*ke and gay people reclaiming the word f*gg*t. they can use it on themselves if they really want to but they shouldn't refer to other lesbians and gay people with it. idk if this make sense?? 

but i feel like qu**r is a different word than those 2. but idk.


----------



## oath2order

I thought it was a slur in like the 70s or something.

But now I thought we re-adopted it like black people re-adopted the n word.

LGBTQA where Q is Questioning/Queer


----------



## Ricano

I don't know if it's possible but I've gone from being bi, to gay as I've grown older. It must be possible right? Lol
I haven't outed myself to any of my family members. Some of them are extremely conservative, and I wouldn't want to lose the relationship I have with them by outing myself. It sucks, but I think out of my whole family, my two sisters might accept me, and even them I'm afraid of telling. TBT, wat do? :/ Any advice you lovely people can give to me, is extremely appreciated.


----------



## Flop

It's wonderful to know there's a community like this who supports this <3 Especially since I live in a state full of prejudiced, racist, homophobic rednecks.  I don't chat on here much, but that's because I'm at a loss of words to say. c:   I don't want to be projected as a homophobic, straight male though, as it seems that I am the minority on here ;-; 


#Gayfriends>boringstraightfriends


----------



## Superpenguin

The same-sex marriage trial has begun in Michigan today.  
It will be at most two weeks long.


----------



## Princess Weeb

tsundere said:


> do you guys think qu**r is a slur? (censoring it since just in case it makes people uncomfortable)
> 
> idk i heard it used as a slur once but it's not a slur here. i was kinda shocked when people told me it was a slur and makes people uncomfortable. i remember people were upset at other people for using it as a blanket term
> for example
> "all qu**r people are wonderful"
> basically they didnt want to be referred to with the word qu**r. but at the same time i feel as if the community has kinda reclaimed it?? i mean the people upset by the word qu**r said its okay if you use it for yourself but you shouldn't force it on others. i guess its kinda like lesbian people reclaiming the word d*ke and gay people reclaiming the word f*gg*t. they can use it on themselves if they really want to but they shouldn't refer to other lesbians and gay people with it. idk if this make sense??
> 
> but i feel like qu**r is a different word than those 2. but idk.




Depends how you use it, as with the word gay.
It's really unfortunate that people warp perfectly harmless and positive words to mean bad things ffs.


----------



## Flop

Yeah, like "That's so gay."  CISGRUFGSVDGCYDHSUDUCGSGSG -__-


----------



## radical6

mhm i guess? but gay really isnt a slur. yeah sometimes ppl use it as an insult but i dont think its as hurtful as the other one. idk like gay guys cant really avoid not being called gay? (they could use androsexual which means you like men but this is usually for nonbinary people unless you use the other definition where you're attracted to masculine people regardless of gender) where as lesbian/bi/pan/gay people don't have to be called qu**r. mhm like i really want to use it sometimes just so i can talk about every qu**r person but people just had to go make it a slur smh. 



Ricano said:


> I don't know if it's possible but I've gone from being bi, to gay as I've grown older. It must be possible right? Lol
> I haven't outed myself to any of my family members. Some of them are extremely conservative, and I wouldn't want to lose the relationship I have with them by outing myself. It sucks, but I think out of my whole family, my two sisters might accept me, and even them I'm afraid of telling. TBT, wat do? :/ Any advice you lovely people can give to me, is extremely appreciated.


thats fine. tbh im not sure of my sexuality right now as ive switched from pan to androsexual (i like masculine people regardless of gender, though i think i just might be pan because yeah) 

hmmm do you still live with your family? if you do dont do it. i know it hurts to lie to your family but tbh if you still live with them do not tell them anything. if you dont live with them anymore i guess you should maybe only tell a few members? tell your two sisters maybe? tell them not to peep a word. maybe if you're ever over at their house change the channel to something about gay marriage and see how they react? but if you feel unsafe right now then i wouldn't do it. i would at least try to get them to talk about it so you have an idea on how strongly theyre against it. (maybe theyre hesitant and you can change their mind) 

do whatever feels safe to you. being in the closet is okay. don't put yourself in danger. if you feel as if they will never change their minds, then i dont know what to tell you. i probably wouldve dropped them a long time ago if they cant accept who you are.


----------



## Joonbug

Not sure what conversations are going on right now but this seems like the correct thread to complain about this. I have just had the great pleasure of finding out that the man my mother is dating, who I already knew as an idiot, racist, smoker (I have asthma and a strong and long family history of lung cancers, heart conditions, and diabetes, which I'm showing signs of, so second hand smoke can and probably will literally kill me), is also the disgusting kind of human being who thinks that being gay or anything related makes you wrong, worth less, and not supposed to have the rights that other people have. I am bi-sexual/pan sexual (i have an issue with the separation of the terms but that's me having issues), and my mother is willing to be with someone who thinks that I am not right, that I am less deserving, that I am less human than other people because I'm not straight. How can a parent do that? And how can she look at me when I'm shaking (I'm literally shaking) with pure moral anger and tell me I'm overreacting? It's disgusting.

- - - Post Merge - - -

And now I'm crying when I'm supposed to be taking a test. Just marvelous.


----------



## radical6

Joonbug said:


> Not sure what conversations are going on right now but this seems like the correct thread to complain about this. I have just had the great pleasure of finding out that the man my mother is dating, who I already knew as an idiot, racist, smoker (I have asthma and a strong and long family history of lung cancers, heart conditions, and diabetes, which I'm showing signs of, so second hand smoke can and probably will literally kill me), is also the disgusting kind of human being who thinks that being gay or anything related makes you wrong, worth less, and not supposed to have the rights that other people have. I am bi-sexual/pan sexual (i have an issue with the separation of the terms but that's me having issues), and my mother is willing to be with someone who thinks that I am not right, that I am less deserving, that I am less human than other people because I'm not straight. How can a parent do that? And how can she look at me when I'm shaking (I'm literally shaking) with pure moral anger and tell me I'm overreacting? It's disgusting.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> And now I'm crying when I'm supposed to be taking a test. Just marvelous.




you are not overreacting. these are your feelings and your mother isn't respecting them. he sounds like a pathetic loser. im sorry but your mother chose a terrible guy. (a smoker, a racist, and a homophobe? he sounds sweet) tbh if i was a mom my children would come first before some loser. do you live with your mother? does he know you're bi/pan? does your mom usually date people for long?? (sorry if this sounds weird) i hope it's just a short time thing for you. if he knows you're bi/pan then i would stay far away from him. he sounds like garbage, im sorry. your mother isn't being considerate of your feelings and doesn't care about your health and well being. she should be placing her child above a homophobe. if you live with your mother i would try to stay out of the house as long as possible if you can i guess. (am i reading too much into this?? idk is he living with u guys now??) but your feelings are valid and you arent overreacting.


----------



## Joonbug

tsundere said:


> you are not overreacting. these are your feelings and your mother isn't respecting them. he sounds like a pathetic loser. im sorry but your mother chose a terrible guy. (a smoker, a racist, and a homophobe? he sounds sweet) tbh if i was a mom my children would come first before some loser. do you live with your mother? does he know you're bi/pan? does your mom usually date people for long?? (sorry if this sounds weird) i hope it's just a short time thing for you. if he knows you're bi/pan then i would stay far away from him. he sounds like garbage, im sorry. your mother isn't being considerate of your feelings and doesn't care about your health and well being. she should be placing her child above a homophobe. if you live with your mother i would try to stay out of the house as long as possible if you can i guess. (am i reading too much into this?? idk is he living with u guys now??) but your feelings are valid and you arent overreacting.



I do live with her, and she basically has him living here now too. I don't know how she wouldn't know that I am but because it apparently might be possible that hearing me talk about which girls I think are attractive and talking about gay rights and everything wasn't enough to get it through her head I guess I'll have to say it flat out tomorrow. She hasn't been dating him for long, but he's here every night of the week even if I ask her repeatedly and nicely for hi not to be and she says she cares about my feelings and that he won't be. He doesn't know I am, but that shouldn't excuse his behavior, and she always picks men like this. My brother's dad was and still is **** to her, my dad was **** to all three of us, after that she brought home a 20-something year old drug addict to live with us, and then this guy. She spends all this time seeing how upset I am and saying that she knows gay people are just as human and right as anyone but then she does this.

- - - Post Merge - - -

She drives around with a human rights campaign sticker on her car and has sex with a guy like that and I just can't accept that and say she's a good person anymore.


----------



## radical6

Joonbug said:


> I do live with her, and she basically has him living here now too. I don't know how she wouldn't know that I am but because it apparently might be possible that hearing me talk about which girls I think are attractive and talking about gay rights and everything wasn't enough to get it through her head I guess I'll have to say it flat out tomorrow. She hasn't been dating him for long, but he's here every night of the week even if I ask her repeatedly and nicely for hi not to be and she says she cares about my feelings and that he won't be. He doesn't know I am, but that shouldn't excuse his behavior, and she always picks men like this. My brother's dad was and still is **** to her, my dad was **** to all three of us, after that she brought home a 20-something year old drug addict to live with us, and then this guy. She spends all this time seeing how upset I am and saying that she knows gay people are just as human and right as anyone but then she does this.



hmm well can your mom go meet him somewhere else rather than having him come over? theres really nothing good about this guy so i dont know why shes keeping him even though you told her that hes gross and is homophobic. but yeah just flat out say it to your mother. (does she really support gay rights if shes dating a homophobe omg..) 

heres hoping that they break up because he sounds nasty and you shouldn't have to put up with this

uhh once this relationship ends with this guy i would probably tell your mom to slow down because she doesn't need to date someone to be happy.i mean you cant really stop her but if shes bringing people like this then yeah..


----------



## Joonbug

tsundere said:


> hmm well can your mom go meet him somewhere else rather than having him come over? theres really nothing good about this guy so i dont know why shes keeping him even though you told her that hes gross and is homophobic. but yeah just flat out say it to your mother. (does she really support gay rights if shes dating a homophobe omg..)
> 
> heres hoping that they break up because he sounds nasty and you shouldn't have to put up with this
> 
> uhh once this relationship ends with this guy i would probably tell your mom to slow down because she doesn't need to date someone to be happy.i mean you cant really stop her but if shes bringing people like this then yeah..



That's what I asked her, to go somewhere else, but she just says i don't want her to be happy. And the worst part is she heard him saying this stuff. She can't even say she doesn't believe me, because she was here. And she probably won't break up with him. But I can hope. 

Thanks for dealing with my freak out.


----------



## Ricano

tsundere said:


> mhm i guess? but gay really isnt a slur. yeah sometimes ppl use it as an insult but i dont think its as hurtful as the other one. idk like gay guys cant really avoid not being called gay? (they could use androsexual which means you like men but this is usually for nonbinary people unless you use the other definition where you're attracted to masculine people regardless of gender) where as lesbian/bi/pan/gay people don't have to be called qu**r. mhm like i really want to use it sometimes just so i can talk about every qu**r person but people just had to go make it a slur smh.
> 
> 
> thats fine. tbh im not sure of my sexuality right now as ive switched from pan to androsexual (i like masculine people regardless of gender, though i think i just might be pan because yeah)
> 
> hmmm do you still live with your family? if you do dont do it. i know it hurts to lie to your family but tbh if you still live with them do not tell them anything. if you dont live with them anymore i guess you should maybe only tell a few members? tell your two sisters maybe? tell them not to peep a word. maybe if you're ever over at their house change the channel to something about gay marriage and see how they react? but if you feel unsafe right now then i wouldn't do it. i would at least try to get them to talk about it so you have an idea on how strongly theyre against it. (maybe theyre hesitant and you can change their mind)
> 
> do whatever feels safe to you. being in the closet is okay. don't put yourself in danger. if you feel as if they will never change their minds, then i dont know what to tell you. i probably wouldve dropped them a long time ago if they cant accept who you are.


You're right. I think it's better to be safe than sorry. 
Sucks that some people have to take these kinds of things with them to their grave, as morbid as that sounds. D=
Thanks for the advice!



Joonbug said:


> That's what I asked her, to go somewhere else, but she just says i don't want her to be happy. And the worst part is she heard him saying this stuff. She can't even say she doesn't believe me, because she was here. And she probably won't break up with him. But I can hope.
> 
> Thanks for dealing with my freak out.



She's torn between two people she loves, and yet doesn't see the most obvious person she should understand and love, is you.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with someone as awful as the man your mother is dating, and that she cannot accept who you are. I'll be hoping that she disposes of the trash, and has a hopeful change of outlook in the future.


----------



## oath2order

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/02/federal-judge-strikes-down-texas-ban-on-same-sex-marriage/

oh


----------



## Flop

Also, the governor of Arizona vetoed the anti-gay bill. ^~^


----------



## Liquefy

Flopolopagous said:


> Also, the governor of Arizona vetoed the anti-gay bill. ^~^



She did?!?  I gotta go confirm...

Yes!!  There are several sites confirming the veto.

- - - Post Merge - - -



oath2order said:


> http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/02/federal-judge-strikes-down-texas-ban-on-same-sex-marriage/
> 
> oh



Yes, this is excellent news.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Finding this topic tonight was a pleasant surprise!  I'm a gay male.  I just finished reading/scanning over-a-year's-worth of posts.  I guess I've been too busy playing ACNL and spending time on the ACNL boards to notice this topic.  Cheers!


----------



## Flop

Huzzah!


----------



## radical6

yay for arizona!!

i really wanna chop off my hair so people will stop mistaking me as a girl (though they will probably confuse me for a guy? but ehh) im thinking of getting a boys haircut and i saw one that i really liked and i was just like wow i really want that?? i told my friends about it and like one of them supported me (she said it would look cute on me <33) while the others looked at me weird. my parents dont take me seriously and tbh i think im just going to walk to the barbers after school and get a haircut myself but i dont know how people would react. advice? (itl ooks pretty curly and its soo cute idk if my hair can be like that maybe i can put some gel on??? idk) my parents want me to get something longer but like um no its my hair and my head i can do what i want. they basically hate it if i do anything masculine. (but my mom wont let me buy thigh highs :///)

also have no idea how im going to buy a binder without them objecting. anyone in seattle wanna sell me one? </3 (maybe i can enter a giveaway for them)


----------



## Liquefy

tsundere said:


> i really wanna chop off my hair so people will stop mistaking me as a girl (though they will probably confuse me for a guy? but ehh) im thinking of getting a boys haircut and i saw one that i really liked and i was just like wow i really want that?? i told my friends about it and like one of them supported me (she said it would look cute on me <33) while the others looked at me weird. my parents dont take me seriously and tbh i think im just going to walk to the barbers after school and get a haircut myself but i dont know how people would react. advice? (itl ooks pretty curly and its soo cute idk if my hair can be like that maybe i can put some gel on??? idk) my parents want me to get something longer but like um no its my hair and my head i can do what i want. they basically hate it if i do anything masculine. (but my mom wont let me buy thigh highs :///)



Well, the nice thing about hair while you are young is:  it can grow (back)! 
I think I heard that pixie cuts were "in" not too long ago (I don't know if they still are) among the Hollywood "set."

Anyway, make sure you get advice from a reputable/experienced stylist who can answer your question about curly/gel first before you cut.


----------



## Jas0n

I went on a date with a guy today. It was quite wonderful and I felt like sharing!


----------



## Joonbug

tsundere said:


> yay for arizona!!
> 
> i really wanna chop off my hair so people will stop mistaking me as a girl (though they will probably confuse me for a guy? but ehh) im thinking of getting a boys haircut and i saw one that i really liked and i was just like wow i really want that?? i told my friends about it and like one of them supported me (she said it would look cute on me <33) while the others looked at me weird. my parents dont take me seriously and tbh i think im just going to walk to the barbers after school and get a haircut myself but i dont know how people would react. advice? (itl ooks pretty curly and its soo cute idk if my hair can be like that maybe i can put some gel on??? idk) my parents want me to get something longer but like um no its my hair and my head i can do what i want. they basically hate it if i do anything masculine. (but my mom wont let me buy thigh highs :///)
> 
> also have no idea how im going to buy a binder without them objecting. anyone in seattle wanna sell me one? </3 (maybe i can enter a giveaway for them)



Well I don't know what hair cut it its, but the sad thing is people do judge based on appearances. BUT if its going to happen anyway, don't you want them to judge you based on what you like and want to look like? I don't want to get you in trouble, but I'd go for it. I would say to try to find a picture of someone with the same jaw as you having that haircut to see if it effects your face, and whether you like it. and how Liquefy said, make sure the gel will work.

On the binder front, do you cosplay or anything? I mean its not the ideal situation to make an excuse, and i'm not sure that would really make it sound any better to your parents anyway, but it is a reason that you can say that isn't just you if you are trying to think of one. My friend has a nice one that is good for all day and is apparently pretty comfortable. If you do manage to get them to let you get one, or get money to get one I can try to find out where she got it. ALSO you could get someone you know to buy it online and just pay them cash?

Sorry I'm really not helpful.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Jas0n said:


> I went on a date with a guy today. It was quite wonderful and I felt like sharing!



Congratulations on the date :3 I'm glad it went well.


----------



## radical6

Liquefy said:


> Well, the nice thing about hair while you are young is:  it can grow (back)!
> I think I heard that pixie cuts were "in" not too long ago (I don't know if they still are) among the Hollywood "set."
> 
> Anyway, make sure you get advice from a reputable/experienced stylist who can answer your question about curly/gel first before you cut.


yeah (i got a haircut a while ago and my hair grew back already wow) so if it looks bad i guess i can wait for it to grow out
hmm pixie cuts are okay but thats not what i had in mind. i have a picture of someone with it but i feel weird posting it because theyre not a model or anything ahaha. but its basically fluffy kinda and ends around the ears and has long bangs. 

yeah ill go ask a stylist before doing anything (if it doesnt come out right ill probably be really sad)



Jas0n said:


> I went on a date with a guy today. It was quite wonderful and I felt like sharing!



im glad your date went well!



Joonbug said:


> Well I don't know what hair cut it its, but the sad thing is people do judge based on appearances. BUT if its going to happen anyway, don't you want them to judge you based on what you like and want to look like? I don't want to get you in trouble, but I'd go for it. I would say to try to find a picture of someone with the same jaw as you having that haircut to see if it effects your face, and whether you like it. and how Liquefy said, make sure the gel will work.
> 
> On the binder front, do you cosplay or anything? I mean its not the ideal situation to make an excuse, and i'm not sure that would really make it sound any better to your parents anyway, but it is a reason that you can say that isn't just you if you are trying to think of one. My friend has a nice one that is good for all day and is apparently pretty comfortable. If you do manage to get them to let you get one, or get money to get one I can try to find out where she got it. ALSO you could get someone you know to buy it online and just pay them cash?
> 
> Sorry I'm really not helpful.



hmmm i think i will go for it. i guess the main reason im hesitant to get it is that my friends arent really accepting and i dont know how people will react? but i think they'll understand.

ooh yeah i never thought about using cosplay as an excuse to get one.i dont cosplay, but my parents know what cosplay is. i dont know if they would actually want to buy a binder for me solely for cosplay tho.

well i cant really ask my friends because their parents will probably look at them weird too. i guess the very most i can ask a teacher for help if my parents object it because i honestly really want one. (i think 2 of my teachers like me a lot??) it bothers me so much and i think getting a binder for me would make my day so much better. 

hmm someone linked me a couple binders earlier but i checked them out and they were sold out apparently. i tried looking online but i didnt know if i could really trust those sites because i dont want to waste money on a binder that doesnt fit or isnt comfortable. 

ty everyone!


----------



## Souji

I'm bit late on the queer thing but I do not like being called queer because I do see it bit... "negative" word. And I'm not... really even "queer". I'm straight transsexual person who identifies with binary gender. I wish I was cis man, it's like the BIGGEST thing I would want to happen but it's impossible so yeah, haha. But I don't see any problems people calling themselves queer, if they want to then go ahead, it's just not for me.

Also I'm going to get my diagnosis soon-ish (hopefully) from the trans clinic I've been going to since December and if I get F64.0, I can start HRT and get in line for mastectomy. I actually thought about starting taking hormones on my own some time ago, but I don't have the money or resources for it. u-u


----------



## radical6

made me sad. really good video though

my parents have been wondering why ive been so upset and sad lately and idk how to tell them?? i hate my body so much and it pisses me off and i want to get a haircut but im not going to tell them im nb. ive always been sad but i guess its gotten worse and now my teachers are starting to question me and idk what to do. i dont really feel comfortable telling my parents because..they dont understand. but i do want to go see a doctor to see if i have depression and other health issues but they keep asking me why. they keep asking why im sad and i think im just going to makeup something so they stop asking me about it.


----------



## analytic

queer agender here~


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> made me sad. really good video though
> 
> my parents have been wondering why ive been so upset and sad lately and idk how to tell them?? i hate my body so much and it pisses me off and i want to get a haircut but im not going to tell them im nb. ive always been sad but i guess its gotten worse and now my teachers are starting to question me and idk what to do. i dont really feel comfortable telling my parents because..they dont understand. but i do want to go see a doctor to see if i have depression and other health issues but they keep asking me why. they keep asking why im sad and i think im just going to makeup something so they stop asking me about it.



The problem is, it's a cultural issue. And it needs to change. Some of these are really ****ty cultures.


----------



## kite

oath2order said:


> The problem is, it's a cultural issue. And it needs to change. Some of these are really ****ty cultures.



_All_ cultures have a dark side.

It takes a lot to change the mindset of a nation/culture as a whole. I'm sure people, cultures, and beliefs will change, but it will take a long time.

It's a hard situation in the first place, since those who are transgender seem to be in the minority in societies. I mean, yeah on the internet we are more familiar with it because people are more comfortable to say it online rather than in person. It's become easier over time to utilize the internet and find people who are similar to yourself. 

But years back, it was hard for me to grasp the very concept of a transgender at first. And I'm not very spiteful towards those who don't share my orientation. I was just unfamiliar with it. I kept asking questions, but I was still confused. It took me a while to just accept it as it is lol.  

And I'm sure we don't hear more about it more often outside of the internet because people like tsundere are scared about coming forth and talking about it, so they go unheard. Plus with people who are hateful, short-tempered, scared of being judged... it's hard to make a point with them when they grew up believing and behaving a certain way and aren't open enough to try to understand. It's hard changing ONE person, let alone a collective culture.


----------



## pocky

There is really just an appalling lack of education when it comes to the LGBTQA community. In schools the anti-bullying campaigns focus more on tolerance than acceptance. Even in university, where people are supposed to be more educated, I've encountered a great deal of homophobia. Back in January I was in an upper level Biology course where the professor decided to off on a tangent about why homosexuality was "wrong". I ended up gathering my things and leaving mid-lecture, and several other students did the same, most of them looking as disgusted and as angry as I was.

The thing that strikes me the most, however, is that for over 100 years humans have known that there is nothing wrong or abnormal about being gay. Yet there is still so much bigotry still left. There is even this wonderful German film titled '_Anders als die Andern_' (Different from the others) from 1919 that deals with this very same topic. Here is my favorite quote from it:

_"You mustn't think poorly of your son because he is homosexual. He is not at all to blame for his orientation. It is neither a vice nor a crime, indeed, not even an illness, but instead a variation, one of the borderline cases that occur frequently in nature. *Your son suffers not from his condition, but rather from the false judgement of it.* This is the legal and social condemnation of his feelings, along with the widespread misconceptions about their expression."_ - Anders als die Andern, 1919


----------



## Lephixia

Wowie!
I never thought this kinda thing was on here! Haha.
It always felt like that thing.
You dont talk about if you play AC:NL cause people get all huffy.

Im surpirsed and happy we have this kind of thread! Yay! <3


----------



## Chiarasu

Wow it's cool there's a QUILTBAG thread here~ (the one in another forum I visit kinda died >.<)

I fit in the L category-after a period of questioning/soul-searching. My friends are really supportive though one of my best friends, (guy) had a hard time accepting. -.- He asked me loads of questions, a lot of them involving why, (esp. when did you decide to stop dating guys irked me) but I toughed out and answered them all. (long story- I thought he was just curious but he admitted he had a crush on me since we met five years ago).


----------



## Gizmodo

Tsundere  here for you
Atleast i can talk to you and we understand each other!!


----------



## analytic

Chiarasu said:


> Wow it's cool there's a QUILTBAG thread here~ (the one in another forum I visit kinda died >.<)
> 
> I fit in the L category-after a period of questioning/soul-searching. My friends are really supportive though one of my best friends, (guy) had a hard time accepting. -.- He asked me loads of questions, a lot of them involving why, (esp. when did you decide to stop dating guys irked me) but I toughed out and answered them all. (long story- I thought he was just curious but he admitted he had a crush on me since we met five years ago).



Ugh, I got the same reaction when I told some of my friends.


----------



## Chiarasu

analytic said:


> Ugh, I got the same reaction when I told some of my friends.



=.= It really puts you on the spot. I hate having to explain myself...-.- I dunno if my other best friend from high school knows, she's a devout Christian evangelist and I don't know what her beliefs/views on sexuality are. 

_“If you can't understand it without an explanation, you can't understand it with an explanation.”_
-Haruki Murakami, 1Q84


----------



## Colour Bandit

Hi, I know I've posted here before but I'm now in need of some advice... Recently I was helping one of my internet friends find some resources on Demisexuality as he is questioning and all that, but now that I've read into it I've started to question my sexuality. I do not feel any primary attraction to anyone, I just can't bring myself to imagine myself 'doing it' with people I don't really feel close enough to... I am in a sexual relationship with my boyfriend but I only felt comfortable with that recently and I've known him for 3 years but only started dating 2 years ago... I also had a time period were I felt sexually attracted to my female best friend of 6 years when I was 15, I felt very comfortable around her like I do with my current boyfriend, but I ignored it and never told my friend (This is the first time I've told anyone)... Apart from these two people I don't think I have ever been sexually attracted to anyone...

I don't know if it's just me being silly but after reading into Demisexuality I really don't think Heterosexual is the correct label for me. Can anyone help me?


----------



## kite

It doesn't sound silly. I can't describe you so easily since I don't really know you well enough... You know yourself best. But you have all the time to figure yourself out. If you think you are, I'd suggest reading up on it more to better understand it and be less confused about yourself.


----------



## oath2order

Demisexual is you only have sex if you feel emotional connected right?


----------



## Colour Bandit

oath2order said:


> Demisexual is you only have sex if you feel emotional connected right?


Sort of, there's nothing physically stopping a Demi from having sex with a stranger or someone they aren't emotionally connected with but generally they find it undesirable as they don't have the sexual attraction, whereas they only feel a sexual attraction with people they are emotionally connected to. I could be wrong but that's what the resources I'm looking at say...
Its generally described as the 'in between' of Heterosexual and Asexual.

EDIT: Here's a good definition of Demisexual:
"A person who does not experience sexual attraction based on physical characteristics, but may develop sexual attractions based on an emotional or mental connection with another person"


----------



## Gracelia

Just lurking as some of these posts keep me up to par with news (i.e. passing of laws and what not) of LGBTQA around the world. 

I'm straight, but very open minded and supportive. I have a few close friends who are bi or homosexual (and one is still trying to figure it out for herself)~ I recently had a friend come to me for advice, since she was suspecting that her younger brother was gay. I gave her the best advice I could offer at the time ... and it went well except for when she said "if he is gay, I can't accept that. He wasn't raised this way," which really bothered me. Since she claims all over social media that she's very open, easy going and accepts everyone (oookay... >_>?). Ever since then, I haven't talked to her. Not sure how to approach this at all anymore.

Extra:
This is old (maybe 2-3 weeks?) but it's a vid with Anderson Cooper & Arizona State Senator (I think that's what he is?): Video here~. Just thought I'd share it and see what your thoughts were. I'm not very up to date, so not sure what has happened in AZ since this.


----------



## Big Forum User

graceyface said:


> I recently had a friend come to me for advice, since she was suspecting that her younger brother was gay. I gave her the best advice I could offer at the time ... and it went well except for when she said "if he is gay, I can't accept that. He wasn't raised this way," which really bothered me. Since she claims all over social media that she's very open, easy going and accepts everyone (oookay... >_>?). Ever since then, I haven't talked to her.


Seriously. That would bug me too.  You don't _decide_ you're gay, you're _born_ gay. And her claiming that she's open is apparently a lie, it has to be.


----------



## Gracelia

Big Forum User said:


> Seriously. That would bug me too.  You don't _decide_ you're gay, you're _born_ gay. And her claiming that she's open is apparently a lie, it has to be.



Yeah, right? That's what I thought. Honestly, I think she does it so she can gain more viewership and likeliness from people (she's a Youtuber). It was very frustrating to even talk to her and still to this day, I see her swearing and everything in posts about these anti-gay laws and what not. It's just wrong on her part. I just don't understand why. I don't think it's in my place to speak to her brother about it (since I know him), but I feel bad for him since he's basically told me he can confide in her and believes she will support him no matter what he does (he hasn't officially come out, that is, if he was gay as she suspects).


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

Urgh, this is why I hate some of the people at my school...

There is a boy at my school who posted on Facebook a few days ago, coming out as being bisexual. Which is all well and fine, but then today when someone mentioned it at school, he denied being no, and told everyone, "Ew, no, I wouldn't dare! Being bi is disgusting, I can't stand people who decide they are!" 

He is the disgusting one. People don't choose to be bisexual, and there is nothing wrong with being bisexual in the first place. This boy has always been known for being a ****, but he's never came out with anything as bad as this before...


----------



## Jas0n

So my boyfriend's neighbour is apparently displeased with his decision to be dating me because of my gender. Really irritates me that his reputation in his village is being tarnished just because we're in a gay relationship and somebody's unwilling to be open-minded.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Jas0n said:


> So my boyfriend's neighbour is apparently displeased with his decision to be dating me because of my gender. Really irritates me that his reputation in his village is being tarnished just because we're in a gay relationship and somebody's unwilling to be open-minded.



I will never understand people who treat others like crap because of something that doesn't concern them. It's so ridiculous. 

As referenced to in a few posts above, I don't understand when family or parents do it, especially. Like, you created and carried a child for 9 months, raised it for what, well over 10 years through the ups and downs of their developing life and then you disown them because you dislike their sexuality? What? 

I don't even.. I really don't get it. 

And friends too? Do people not understand the level of bravery it takes to come out to people? erGH LIFE NYAH


----------



## Gizmodo

Eurgh im so stressed out today


----------



## Princess Weeb

Gizmodo said:


> Eurgh im so stressed out today



If you need any help you can always pm me again <3 ^_^


----------



## Gizmodo

Melleia said:


> If you need any help you can always pm me again <3 ^_^



Ty i probably will ^^


----------



## Princess Weeb

oh ye I remembered what I was going to say

idk if anyone has had this/finds it ridiculously irritating but when I came out (idk like 3 years ago?) to people at my school (I say I came out, my "Best friend" told everyone about it and made me look like I was a freak) I was the first person in pretty much my own and the two years above/below me to come out and I got a ridiculous amount of abuse. I couldn't do anything online without getting spams of hate for no reason, I was spat on, called horrible names, got death threats and was pretty much assaulted by older students. (I'm about 5"8 and they were at least 6"2 "rugby lads") 

I honestly don't give a crap now, because that meant everyone after me got a better coming out experience. But what I detest is the fact *that the same people who were throwing abuse and death threats at me are now "praising the gays" because one of the popular guys came out.* 

Thankfully this site has a swearing limit but I don't think they understand how weryetrehtduhfdf

ERGH PEOPLE

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> Ty i probably will ^^



Okies :3


----------



## kite

Melleia said:


> oh ye I remembered what I was going to say
> 
> idk if anyone has had this/finds it ridiculously irritating but when I came out (idk like 3 years ago?) to people at my school (I say I came out, my "Best friend" told everyone about it and made me look like I was a freak) I was the first person in pretty much my own and the two years above/below me to come out and I got a ridiculous amount of abuse. I couldn't do anything online without getting spams of hate for no reason, I was spat on, called horrible names, got death threats and was pretty much assaulted by older students. (I'm about 5"8 and they were at least 6"2 "rugby lads")
> 
> I honestly don't give a crap now, because that meant everyone after me got a better coming out experience. But what I detest is the fact *that the same people who were throwing abuse and death threats at me are now "praising the gays" because one of the popular guys came out.*
> 
> Thankfully this site has a swearing limit but I don't think they understand how weryetrehtduhfdf



Even though you had to take the blunt of it, I'm glad others who also came out didn't have it as hard as you did. 

And it sucks that the people who came after you are just taking advantage of whatever circumstances will make them appear good. But well... you know, people who are so afraid to be judged are often so judgmental of others themselves. People with that kind of mindset are highly impressionable, so maybe with the right nudges, they'd be less likely to act out on hate less. The popular guy that came out has that kind of influence, probably. If he's aware of it.


----------



## Gracelia

Jas0n said:


> So my boyfriend's neighbour is apparently displeased with his decision to be dating me because of my gender. Really irritates me that his reputation in his village is being tarnished just because we're in a gay relationship and somebody's unwilling to be open-minded.



Wow  I'm really sorry to hear. I know how that unfolds since my friend experienced the same. It got so bad she moved :/. As if your relationship is so life-changing and has so many implications on that neighbours life... like really @_@. What a shame on the neighbours part.


----------



## MayorMariana

My parents are homophobic and I'm bisexual :[ I don't know what to do....Does anyone else have homophobic parents? How did you come out to them?


----------



## sn0wxyuki

I have a friend who is gay. I don't discriminate him when I knew about it, in fact I accept him openly like a best friend, sister.

Until he start acting weird (yea to the boys not girl), molesting them secretly and he even told me about him getting desperate for love (oh yea love?), and cause we live together, one of my other friend caught him watching porn in the middle of the night, but that's okay for us. Not until he start going around touching all the boys (all the complaint came to me urghh...) and I keep a distance from there. Sometimes this make me feel guilty like I actually start to discriminate him but I don't...if he don't go around doing that ><

But tbh, I certainly don't see anything wrong for the same gender relationship, except I maybe couldn't accept this if it happen in my own family, but well, if things do happen we have to respect their choice of decision.


----------



## radical6

i am not demisexual sooo uh. remember you can still be demisexual and still be het. idk tbh maybe you are? you can try seeking a support blogs for demisexuals and talk to them about it.

also giz if u need to talk im open!


----------



## Colour Bandit

tsundere said:


> i am not demisexual sooo uh. remember you can still be demisexual and still be het. idk tbh maybe you are? you can try seeking a support blogs for demisexuals and talk to them about it.



I had a chat with some other demisexuals last night about my feelings and then the demis can be hets and a lot disagreed. I told them about my experience with starting to feel sexually attracted to my female best friend (before I started seeing my boyfriend) and they said that's normal as we aren't sexually attracted to physical features but instead we are attracted due to the emotional bond and as such don't always discriminate between male and female. So, as I was told firmly by a lot of demis I spoke to, demis are not just hets or bi, we have our own label and don't need to be lumped with a sexualities we don't identify as but then there are some demis that also identify as hets, but that is who they are an  they can use whatever labels they want.

That's why I just can't label myself as het anymore, because I can be attracted to males and females as long as there is an emotional bond, though to better explain it I would add that I consider myself a Bi-romantic Demisexual. Speaking to other demis and getting their 'approval' to use the label has really helped me accept that I am Demisexual and I hope that others (my family, irl and online friends and my boyfriend) can accept that...


----------



## Princess Weeb

sn0wxyuki said:


> I have a friend who is gay. I don't discriminate him when I knew about it, in fact I accept him openly like a best friend, sister.
> 
> Until he start acting weird (yea to the boys not girl), molesting them secretly and he even told me about him getting desperate for love (oh yea love?), and cause we live together, one of my other friend caught him watching porn in the middle of the night, but that's okay for us. Not until he start going around touching all the boys (all the complaint came to me urghh...) and I keep a distance from there. Sometimes this make me feel guilty like I actually start to discriminate him but I don't...if he don't go around doing that ><
> 
> But tbh, I certainly don't see anything wrong for the same gender relationship, except I maybe couldn't accept this if it happen in my own family, but well, if things do happen we have to respect their choice of decision.



His actions (except for the gender they're on) have nothing to do with his sexuality, so you shouldn't be mad at him for being attracted to other guys.

If the guys he is well.. sexually assaulting by the sound of it have not consented, then what he is doing is wrong and should be treated the same was as a man assaulting a woman/woman assaulting a man/woman assaulting a woman.

If they have consented, then it's fine. If you dislike him doing it infront of you, just tell him it makes you uncomfortable. But if it isn't consenting, I'd consider reporting him because it is sexual assault, essentially.


----------



## Manah

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> So, as I was told firmly by a lot of demis I spoke to, demis are not just hets or bi, we have our own label and don't need to be lumped with a sexualities we don't identify as but then there are some demis that also identify as hets, but that is who they are an  they can use whatever labels they want.


Those are actually two different things. Demisexual refers to how/when you can experience sexual attraction, heterosexual (or whatever else) refers to the people/gender you feel attracted. So yes, you can be both.


----------



## Reaper_Flower

I accept everyone ( expect elder/child/animal abusers, murderers and rapists, they shouldn't be allowed to live lol ).
If you don't push your views on me or remind me constantly, I will be happy for you and wish you the best and never look down on you for it. That being said my experience is very limited. We had one lesbian friend who had to remind everyone constantly that she was, if she was treated unfairly that was her reason. I never understood the need for that, your sexual or gender identity does not matter to me unless its something I outlined above. It doesn't really change who you are as a person imo but it shouldn't rule your life either. I do understand people get treated horribly for it and it's shameful. I think you should be able to get married to a car if that car is what makes you happy lol ( no seriously some dude married his car? and gays etc cant? its ridiculous LOL)


----------



## radical6

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> I had a chat with some other demisexuals last night about my feelings and then the demis can be hets and a lot disagreed. I told them about my experience with starting to feel sexually attracted to my female best friend (before I started seeing my boyfriend) and they said that's normal as we aren't sexually attracted to physical features but instead we are attracted due to the emotional bond and as such don't always discriminate between male and female. So, as I was told firmly by a lot of demis I spoke to, demis are not just hets or bi, we have our own label and don't need to be lumped with a sexualities we don't identify as but then there are some demis that also identify as hets, but that is who they are an  they can use whatever labels they want.
> 
> That's why I just can't label myself as het anymore, because I can be attracted to males and females as long as there is an emotional bond, though to better explain it I would add that I consider myself a Bi-romantic Demisexual. Speaking to other demis and getting their 'approval' to use the label has really helped me accept that I am Demisexual and I hope that others (my family, irl and online friends and my boyfriend) can accept that...


oh okay. i didnt know that, (i thought it was like what the other person said above) but thats cool. i hope your family and friends will accept you.


----------



## Joonbug

Update and more complaining aboutmy situation, and I apologize in advance. 

My mother now knows for sure that I am bisexual/pansexual, and she has been having her homophobic, and I feel like that is not a good enough description, boyfriend over every single day now until today when she just isn't coming home. And she actually told me, her child that came out to her, that she doesn't know why I have a problem with him, the guy who thinks it's okay for gay people to get turned away from businesses because they are gay, thinks it's wrong if gay people can be on the same insurance, and says variations of ew and gross repeatedly if he sees a drag queen on tv, going on about how gross it is because what if he thought it was a girl?

Yeah. I wonder why the distinctly not straight kid has a problem with him. Really. It's a mystery. 

And I calmly said "well he's a homophobe" in way just saying that it's the first in the long list, because mind you other than just that he's still a horrible person for other reasons, and she rolled her eyes and sighed at me and walked away.

I am treating this ******* politely even though he thinks of people like me as less than human and my mom is letting him in my house and acting like I'm a ***** and a brat and like she's the victim.

Is any of this okay? What am I supposed to do here?


----------



## analytic

Joonbug said:


> Update and more complaining aboutmy situation, and I apologize in advance.
> 
> My mother now knows for sure that I am bisexual/pansexual, and she has been having her homophobic, and I feel like that is not a good enough description, boyfriend over every single day now until today when she just isn't coming home. And she actually told me, her child that came out to her, that she doesn't know why I have a problem with him, the guy who thinks it's okay for gay people to get turned away from businesses because they are gay, thinks it's wrong if gay people can be on the same insurance, and says variations of ew and gross repeatedly if he sees a drag queen on tv, going on about how gross it is because what if he thought it was a girl?
> 
> Yeah. I wonder why the distinctly not straight kid has a problem with him. Really. It's a mystery.
> 
> And I calmly said "well he's a homophobe" in way just saying that it's the first in the long list, because mind you other than just that he's still a horrible person for other reasons, and she rolled her eyes and sighed at me and walked away.
> 
> I am treating this ******* politely even though he thinks of people like me as less than human and my mom is letting him in my house and acting like I'm a ***** and a brat and like she's the victim.
> 
> Is any of this okay? What am I supposed to do here?



No, no, god no, what they're treating you like is absolute bee ess. If I were you, I'd straight up punch him any time he started getting homophobic, but I wouldn't suggest doing that. I've really got no answer for you if your mother's home is the only place you can live. If so, please try to stay strong and survive his crap until you can move out. If not, do everything you can to teach that jerk a lesson. Mentally. If he tells homophobic jokes, ask him WHY they're funny; you'll get to watch him break down into saying it's funny because it hurts other people. If he says anything about Jesus speaking out against homosexuality, whip out a Bible and tell him to find where Jesus said that, because he never did. Counterattack in any way possible, and if your mother sides with him in the end, move to the other place you can go. Im sorry if this isn't helpful.


----------



## Gizmodo

mhm more of my family got sort of told and ah :x


----------



## analytic

blah my mother used to argue with me about it but I think we've both gotten tired of fighting


----------



## Stevey Queen

What's the difference between a sex and a gender?

Just saw a fb post of a person wearing a dress and then normal boy clothes and I couldn't tell what current genital they possessed. The post was a very big speech. Not gonna explain the post but basically it claimed that sex and gender were different things.

I thought they were the same?

Nobody get mad at me please. I want to know more about transexuality.


----------



## radical6

LoveMcQueen said:


> What's the difference between a sex and a gender?
> 
> Just saw a fb post of a person wearing a dress and then normal boy clothes and I couldn't tell what current genital they possessed. The post was a very big speech. Not gonna explain the post but basically it claimed that sex and gender were different things.
> 
> I thought they were the same?
> 
> Nobody get mad at me please. I want to know more about transexuality.



oh boy where do i start
i guess ill just list some basic stuff
1. you shouldnt care what parts someone has wtf
2. someones clothes doesnt determine their gender
3. sex and gender are very different things because i dont even believe "sex" exists. parts do not define your gender.
4. you probably dont even know what cissexism is so lets start
5.not all men have d*cks, not all women have v*ginas. it is cissexist if you assume so. 
6.its transmisogynistic if you laugh at men in dresses (or doing feminine things) 
7.not all trans people get surgery.
8. its "transgender" not "transgendered". the -ed part makes a big difference.
9. nonbinary people are people who identify outside the gender binary. i am genderqueer and im not a girl or a boy. 
10. never ever use they/them pronouns for trans men/women on purpose. even nonbinary people (nonbinary people can use they/them pronouns like me, or they can use different pronouns)


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> oh boy where do i start
> i guess ill just list some basic stuff
> 1. you shouldnt care what parts someone has wtf
> 2. someones clothes doesnt determine their gender
> 3. sex and gender are very different things because i dont even believe "sex" exists. parts do not define your gender.
> 4. you probably dont even know what cissexism is so lets start
> 5.not all men have d*cks, not all women have v*ginas. it is cissexist if you assume so.
> 6.its transmisogynistic if you laugh at men in dresses (or doing feminine things)
> 7.not all trans people get surgery.
> 8. its "transgender" not "transgendered". the -ed part makes a big difference.
> 9. nonbinary people are people who identify outside the gender binary. i am genderqueer and im not a girl or a boy.
> 10. never ever use they/them pronouns for trans men/women on purpose. even nonbinary people (nonbinary people can use they/them pronouns like me, or they can use different pronouns)



tsundere, way to go off on LoveMcQueen. He asked a question and wanted to know more. You're going off on some stupid tangent and didn't say anything, instead listing a bunch of stupid things about being cissexist. LMQ never laughed at men in dresses, why would you even bring that up?


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> tsundere, way to go off on LoveMcQueen. He asked a question and wanted to know more. You're going off on some stupid tangent and didn't say anything, instead listing a bunch of stupid things about being cissexist. LMQ never laughed at men in dresses, why would you even bring that up?



he said he wanted to know more about trans stuff so i listed some basic stuff??????// i know he didnt laugh at men in dresses but its a common thing people do and i see it all the time?? umm?? what and i explained the difference between the two and said it shouldnt even matter??


----------



## oath2order

He asked the difference between sex and gender, and you conflate your own personal views that "sex doesn't exist" instead of answering the question.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> He asked the difference between sex and gender, and you conflate your own personal views that "sex doesn't exist" instead of answering the question.



ok but it doesnt
sex is your parts. thats it. literally. gender is what you identify as. its that simple???


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> ok but it doesnt
> sex is your parts. thats it. literally. gender is what you identify as. its that simple???



I am well aware of that, and that's what I told LMQ on his VMs in an unbiased view where I didn't conflate my own personal opinions with the answer to the question.


----------



## Jake

LoveMcQueen said:


> What's the difference between a sex and a gender?
> 
> Just saw a fb post of a person wearing a dress and then normal boy clothes and I couldn't tell what current genital they possessed. The post was a very big speech. Not gonna explain the post but basically it claimed that sex and gender were different things.
> 
> I thought they were the same?
> 
> Nobody get mad at me please. I want to know more about transexuality.



virtually sex is what you are based on your biological parts and gender is associated with what you identify as.
ie; my sex is male but my gender is neutral because i dont identify with either the male or female gender.


----------



## analytic

...they just listed things to help the questioning person? and they only listed one thing about cissexism?? dude you're contradicting yourself with a lot of what you're saying


----------



## oath2order

Jake. said:


> virtually sex is what you are based on your biological parts and gender is associated with what you identify as.
> ie; my sex is male but my gender is neutral because i dont identify with either the male or female gender.



You don't? Huh. Never knew that about you.

The more you know.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> I am well aware of that, and that's what I told LMQ on his VMs in an unbiased view where I didn't conflate my own personal opinions with the answer to the question.



ok but... the whole idea of 'sex' is harmful. thats why i avoided going into detail. that is my answer. because from the definition i used people will probably end up using terms like "male sex" and "female sex" (ive explained the difference before to people like that a while ago and they ended up talking like that sooo i try just to avoid it)
edit: here these ppl explain it soo much better but thts all im going to say. the last bit is so important js


----------



## kite

Jake. said:


> virtually sex is what you are based on your biological parts and gender is associated with what you identify as.
> ie; my sex is male but my gender is neutral because i dont identify with either the male or female gender.



You are correct when it comes to sex and gender. 

Sex is biological while gender is social. They are commonly mistaken as the same thing, but it's easily understandable as to why they are.

This link will easier explain it to people who need further explanation: 
http://www.med.monash.edu.au/gendermed/sexandgender.html

Give it a gander.


----------



## Gizmodo

Omg right i should be starting treatment soon but how do you tell friends ugh
family were fine but friends idk


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Omg right i should be starting treatment soon but how do you tell friends ugh
> family were fine but friends idk



if your friends rn arent accepting then i wouldnt tell them for your own safety
though when you come across new people try telling them! unless theyre friends with your current friends then..yeah.

but to tell them i would slowly tell them and explain that you dont want them calling you that and yeah


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> if your friends rn arent accepting then i wouldnt tell them for your own safety
> though when you come across new people try telling them! unless theyre friends with your current friends then..yeah.
> 
> but to tell them i would slowly tell them and explain that you dont want them calling you that and yeah



Mhm i suppose
i have my 3rd appointment at 1pm tomorrow yey, i think i only have to have one more then i begin treatment, but first i have to have blood tests and stuff to ;__; and a body exam ffs help


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Mhm i suppose
> i have my 3rd appointment at 1pm tomorrow yey, i think i only have to have one more then i begin treatment, but first i have to have blood tests and stuff to ;__; and a body exam ffs help


oooh ok good luck! i got a blood test done a few days ago and i hate needles. body exams suck but i hope everything goes well for you!


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> oooh ok good luck! i got a blood test done a few days ago and i hate needles. body exams suck but i hope everything goes well for you!



I'm just going to have to think look i have to do this, its only doctors, and this is for the rest of my life xDD


----------



## Solar

Anybody know about hocd...? I really need help...


----------



## chillv

If I was to say anything about this here, all hell would break loose. However, I think enough of you guys already know how I feel about these people.


----------



## Solar

chillv said:


> If I was to say anything about this here, all hell would break loose. However, I think enough of you guys already know how I feel about these people.



There was no need to even post that. Just no. Just don't say anything. No need for a warning.


----------



## MrPicklez

I'm not afraid to admit that I once thought I was gay/bisexual in high school. Heck, I had my first bisexual experience with my best friend who was going through the exact same problem as I was. Needless to say, we're both straight now but regardless I didn't know how to feel at the time. I would've had the hardest time telling my dad if I was though. He once told me as a kid, "If you ever end up gay, I'll disown you."

I also have a LOT of gay friends. Hell, one of them is a drag queen. Haha


----------



## chillv

Benmjy said:


> There was no need to even post that. Just no. Just don't say anything. No need for a warning.



It is though...


----------



## Solar

chillv said:


> It is though...



You're completely entitled to your opinion, and I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but like you said, if what ever your opinion is pisses people off, then there is no need to even bring it up. I just felt the post was completely unneeded.


----------



## kite

MrKisstoefur said:


> I'm not afraid to admit that I once thought I was gay/bisexual in high school. Heck, I had my first bisexual experience with my best friend who was going through the exact same problem as I was. Needless to say, we're both straight now but regardless I didn't know how to feel at the time. I would've had the hardest time telling my dad if I was though. He once told me as a kid, "If you ever end up gay, I'll disown you."
> 
> I also have a LOT of gay friends. Hell, one of them is a drag queen. Haha



Who says straight people have to be completely straight? 

Honestly I consider myself straight, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I find women attractive. I've never been interested in women romantically, but I've had my moments throughout uni.

All in all I find strength and confidence incredibly attractive, no matter who the person is. ^^

I also have a friend who's a drag queen and tons of gay friends as well. I even got to participate in a gay pride parade, which was totally fun. I also got to see people I knew in the crowd! =^^=


----------



## radical6

chillv said:


> If I was to say anything about this here, all hell would break loose. However, I think enough of you guys already know how I feel about these people.


literally this is a support/discussion thread. do you not think that queer and trans people dont face enough crap already? they dont need to hear this in threads like these.

i dont really know what i am? im floating between pansexual and androsexual..idk. i identified as pan for a while but im really okay with dating anyone, i just have some preferences i guess?? because there are 2 definitions for androsexual and it can get kinda confusing.

never been to a gay pride parade because my parents would kill me.
i dont really have that many straight friends?  i think i have like 1-2 but the rest are queer.


----------



## Yugi Moto

At a high risk of sounding like a complete ignorant bafoon, what in the world does LGBTQA stand for? :3


----------



## radical6

Yugi Moto said:


> At a high risk of sounding like a complete ignorant bafoon, what in the world does LGBTQA stand for? :3



lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer/questioning, asexual


----------



## Finnian

I identify as straight, but I'm engaged to other woman???????????????????


----------



## Jas0n

MrKisstoefur said:


> I'm not afraid to admit that I once thought I was gay/bisexual in high school. Heck, I had my first bisexual experience with my best friend who was going through the exact same problem as I was. Needless to say, we're both straight now but regardless I didn't know how to feel at the time. I would've had the hardest time telling my dad if I was though. He once told me as a kid, "If you ever end up gay, I'll disown you."
> 
> I also have a LOT of gay friends. Hell, one of them is a drag queen. Haha



I think it's great that you can be comfortable with your sexuality. Can I just, be your friend? Awesome beard, awesome signature and open-minded opinions make you seem like a wonderful person!


----------



## Gizmodo

My 3rd appointment went good yay 
i have to have endocrinology tests, then begin treatment in like June/July i think


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Gizmodo said:


> My 3rd appointment went good yay
> i have to have endocrinology tests, then begin treatment in like June/July i think



That's good. Good luck.


----------



## Jellybean23

My oldest daughter's best friend is transgender and it's caused a lot of confusion with my parents.  I've tried my best to explain to them but I can't convince them that he is not just a confused lesbian _pretending_ to be a boy.    

This thread has been eye opening for me, even as someone who knew LGBT basics.  There is stuff I had never considered, and I appreciate those who shared so openly.


----------



## Flop

So, I'm not sure if this has been mentioned already, but Fred Phelps recently passed away.

I, for one, feel *no* sympathy for that sick man.


----------



## Gizmodo

Im so glad, hope he burns in the supposed hell


----------



## Jellybean23

IF there is a hell, just imagine how surprised he must be to find himself there.


----------



## emre3

He's dead? Yay! He got what he deserved.


----------



## analytic

it was kind of this huge sigh of relief to hear that he's gone.


----------



## yosugay

i just wanna say that you all are strong for putting up with everything you face everyday. idk if the world will ever become a tolerant, safe place for the LGBTQA community but i just hope you all continue to love yourselves and to keep supporting each other. i'll support ya'll til the end <3


----------



## Micah

Wishing that Fred Phelps burns in Hell is stooping to his level. :/


----------



## keepitshay

I'm so happy that A is included in this. I always see people who leave it out. Asexuals don't get much exposure but it doesn't mean we don't exist.


----------



## analytic

keepitshay said:


> I'm so happy that A is included in this. I always see people who leave it out. Asexuals don't get much exposure but it doesn't mean we don't exist.



I see a lot of people saying the A stands for Ally and it ticks me off so badly.


----------



## HarmoniousMelody

I've read about asexuality but can someone who is or is very educated on the subject explain it to me more?~


----------



## Zeiro

me twerking on fred phelps' grave


----------



## Jas0n

Can we not turn this into a hate thread for Fred Phelps? As Micah said, expressing such hate towards a dead man makes you no better than he was.


----------



## kite

HarmoniousMelody said:


> I've read about asexuality but can someone who is or is very educated on the subject explain it to me more?~



I think this link will be able to go indepth for you:

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html


----------



## Zeiro

Jas0n said:


> Can we not turn this into a hate thread for Fred Phelps? As Micah said, expressing such hate towards a dead man makes you no better than he was.


You're right. We shouldn't hate Hitler either.

Those poor, oppressive dead people.


----------



## matt

What is lgbtqa


----------



## KeatAlex

matt said:


> What is lgbtqa



Lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, queer, asexual.


----------



## Jake

matt said:


> What is lgbtqa



its literally on the last 3 pages or something....

either read the thread or google it..

soznotsoz but its hella annoying every second post 'whaT DOES LGBTQAXYZ MEAN?????????'


----------



## matt

Jake. said:


> its literally on the last 3 pages or something....
> 
> either read the thread or google it..
> 
> soznotsoz but its hella annoying every second post 'whaT DOES LGBTQAXYZ MEAN?????????'


Your rude


----------



## kite

Jake. said:


> its literally on the last 3 pages or something....
> 
> either read the thread or google it..
> 
> soznotsoz but its hella annoying every second post 'whaT DOES LGBTQAXYZ MEAN?????????'



It's a common question, on and off the internet. The more people who know, the better.


----------



## keepitshay

analytic said:


> I see a lot of people saying the A stands for Ally and it ticks me off so badly.



Oh god, I KNOW. Like you don't need a special place in the acronym?? All you are literally doing is not being a jerk to people?? Congratulations, I appreciate it, but seriously. Ally is not an "identity" it's a way of life.


----------



## Darumy

As someone pretty fortunate in terms of my surroundings being accepting of sexuality, I hope this isn't stepping out of bounds for a support thread, but I wanted to ask a few questions.



Spoiler



How much do you feel your sexuality defines you? Is it something you consider to be part of your legacy?

I've come to notice that those who are of sexual orientations that are not universally accepted tend to define themselves a lot more drastically by their sexual orientation. I realize that open embracement of your sexual identity is an effort against those who discriminate, and pride is very important to those who have been subject to a world majority trying to take it away from them. But in an idealistic world, would you believe that sexual identity would still be equally important?

I have to apologize if I'm stepping on any toes. As part of a newer generation, I may not fully understand the lines drawn for what makes a person notable. I've always considered myself/others have considered me pretty androgynous. I figured that it really didn't matter whether I fell in love with a male or a female, so I never worried much about specifications and definitions or even labeling my own sexual orientation, thinking it wasn't worth the confusion and trouble I had watched others go through; just whatever happened happens. 

After so many years on the internet and hanging around people from all corners of the world, I realize many place a lot more importance on the subject than I do. Is it simply because society is on..the uh, precipice of the battle for acceptance? Or am I wrong for undermining the importance of sexuality?




My personal concerns aside, this thread is really sweet. It's nice to see support being available for people in every corner 8'D


----------



## Minties

Darumy said:


> As someone pretty fortunate in terms of my surroundings being accepting of sexuality, I hope this isn't stepping out of bounds for a support thread, but I wanted to ask a few questions.
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> How much do you feel your sexuality defines you? Is it something you consider to be part of your legacy?
> 
> I've come to notice that those who are of sexual orientations that are not universally accepted tend to define themselves a lot more drastically by their sexual orientation. I realize that open embracement of your sexual identity is an effort against those who discriminate, and pride is very important to those who have been subject to a world majority trying to take it away from them. But in an idealistic world, would you believe that sexual identity would still be equally important?
> 
> I have to apologize if I'm stepping on any toes. As part of a newer generation, I may not fully understand the lines drawn for what makes a person notable. I've always considered myself/others have considered me pretty androgynous. I figured that it really didn't matter whether I fell in love with a male or a female, so I never worried much about specifications and definitions or even labeling my own sexual orientation, thinking it wasn't worth the confusion and trouble I had watched others go through; just whatever happened happens.
> 
> After so many years on the internet and hanging around people from all corners of the world, I realize many place a lot more importance on the subject than I do. Is it simply because society is on..the uh, precipice of the battle for acceptance? Or am I wrong for undermining the importance of sexuality?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My personal concerns aside, this thread is really sweet. It's nice to see support being available for people in every corner 8'D



I feel like you reached in my brain and plucked the thoughts right out of my head. I've never really given much thought to my own sexuality because it has always been just ....there. I don't feel the need to constantly bring it up because I'm not defined by it. I feel like I'm so much more than these silly terms we need to assign ourselves. 

If I go up to someone and say:

"Hi I'm a 23 year old bisexual that plays video games and is going to school for veterinary science."

I just instantly put myself in a category in their head. That person is going to hang on the word bisexual, especially if they don't agree with it. It doesn't allow them to get to know me first because I felt the need to tell them something *they never even asked about in the first place*.

Had I said:

"Hi I'm a 23 year old person that plays video games and is going to school for veterinary science."

Now I feel like they would ask me questions about the games I play or something or about my degree. Point being, sexuality is a BIG thing to judge others on for a lot of people. I'm not saying that we should be ashamed of our sexuality, but I don't feel like there needs to be a giant banner following people saying "I'M GAY. DID YOU HEAR I'M GAY?" Great! You do your thing, I'll do mine.

----

The other thing that really grinds my gears and I've seen it pop up in this thread is the absolute venom towards straight/cis/whatever tumblr term people. I searched the tags on tumblr and I'm actually pretty disgusted at this portion of the LGBTQA community for saying such horrible, vile things. Small sample:

"cis shaming! straight shaming! you ****ing cishets ruin everything that was ever meant for trans/queer people. i can’t safely go to any events for trans/queer people because they’re gonna be flooded with cishets who are just their to see the sights or to make themselves feel like they’re such good allies. but all you cishets are doing is making trans queers like me feel unsafe at an event that should be a safe space for us."

"straight cis people arent normal"

"The world would honestly be such a better place without cis people and meat eaters"

"*cis person yelling “we’re not all like that!” voice* “i’m a NICE cis person! I NEVER do anything wrong! and when I do I don’t have to be held accountable for my actions because I’m NICE”"


Haven't people ever heard that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind? I remember being a stupid 17 year old kid when Prop 8 came up in Calfornia (the one to legalize gay marriage). I thought I was being a social justice warrior by running around in the dead of night taking all of the "Yes on Prop 8! Protect Marriage!" signs that people put in their front yards. Was that going to make that person change their mind on gay marriage? No. If anything, it was going to piss them off more that I wanted to silence their opinion instead of actually educating them on the fact that sexuality doesn't define a human being. All we're doing is spewing their hatred right back at them, so it's a never ending circle of hate. Harassing people for identifying with a group, when the single person themselves hasn't done a thing to you, is stupid. You should encourage education and acceptance and stop the hate train because we're getting nowhere with it.


----------



## Gizmodo

Reizo said:


> You're right. We shouldn't hate Hitler either.
> 
> Those poor, oppressive dead people.



Oh my god!! so true
Just because someone is dead, doesnt mean they suddenly become immune to attacking

- - - Post Merge - - -



Micah said:


> Wishing that Fred Phelps burns in Hell is stooping to his level. :/



Yes because i go around public places and protest and wish people to burn in hell
and i'm also going to picket his funeral arent i?
just like by me saying Hitler is disgusting, im suddenly going to exterminate 6 million people
no.


----------



## Jas0n

Reizo said:


> You're right. We shouldn't hate Hitler either.
> 
> Those poor, oppressive dead people.



I don't see any reason to hate Hitler either. He's dead, it's in the past. Same with Fred Phelps. Spreading more hate doesn't help anybody, it only creates a vicious cycle.


----------



## Gizmodo

Jas0n said:


> I don't see any reason to hate Hitler either. He's dead, it's in the past. Same with Fred Phelps. Spreading more hate doesn't help anybody, it only creates a vicious cycle.



Spreading hate doesn't help obviously, and i'd never go on a hate campaign, but i think it's different on here especially, somewhere i can rant..


----------



## radical6

Minties said:


> snip


1. cisphobia isnt real
2. those are trans people venting. its not the same as transphobia. yes it might hurt your feelings but they have to deal with transphobia and for AMAB trans people sometimes murder. (a AMAB agender person i think got set on fire for wearing a skirt) 
3. all of those are jokes literally they dont hate cis people. maybe theyre afraid of them but they have every right to. honestly when i vent its so much easier saying "i hate cis people" rather than saying "i hate my mother". taking your frustrations out on a group that constantly spews out transphobic things at you is so much easier than taking it out on someone you love. when my best friend misgenders me all the time its so much easier saying that than saying i hate her. and sometimes im just so frustrated. but at the end of the day, i dont hate cis people.


----------



## Gizmodo

There are some people  who do seem to find it controversial to hate cis people, and post awful things of how they should die and make signs and stuff, and really are pathetic, and those people need to stop because it only regresses the movement and makes us all look bitter
but most of the community dont hate cis people, we hate bigoted people, who a lot of the time are cis


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> There are some people  who do seem to find it controversial to hate cis people, and post awful things of how they should die and make signs and stuff, and really are pathetic, and those people need to stop because it only regresses the movement and makes us all look bitter
> but most of the community dont hate cis people, we hate bigoted people, who a lot of the time are cis


i have seen no one on tumblr ever go up to a cis person and say "die". (solely for them being cis) i dont agree with making suicide jokes and everything but idk saying "i wish all cis people died" isnt that bad?? obviously when theyre saying something like that they must be upset and theyre simply venting. but on the other hand if a transphobe said "i wish all trans people would die" that is much worse. because trans people do face murder and rape. 

think of it this way, if you yelled at your boss "YOU'RE FIRED!" it has no effect.
but if your boss yells at you "YOU'RE FIRED!" you are fired, because she has power over you.

sometimes the jokes can get out of hand but they will never have power to actually hurt them.


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> i have seen no one on tumblr ever go up to a cis person and say "die". (solely for them being cis) i dont agree with making suicide jokes and everything but idk saying "i wish all cis people died" isnt that bad?? obviously when theyre saying something like that they must be upset and theyre simply venting. but on the other hand if a transphobe said "i wish all trans people would die" that is much worse. because trans people do face murder and rape.
> 
> think of it this way, if you yelled at your boss "YOU'RE FIRED!" it has no effect.
> but if your boss yells at you "YOU'RE FIRED!" you are fired, because she has power over you.
> 
> sometimes the jokes can get out of hand but they will never have power to actually hurt them.



They dont have the power, but i still find soemthing like all cis people die is offensive? bc i do think of my family who are so SUPPORTIVE and i just think no?
Obviously im supportive of the community im just saying all these jokes dont portray the best image of us! to some people and that makes me sad :c

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also when some say Die cis scum die? why!


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> They dont have the power, but i still find soemthing like all cis people die is offensive? bc i do think of my family who are so SUPPORTIVE and i just think no?
> Obviously im supportive of the community im just saying all these jokes dont portray the best image of us! to some people and that makes me sad :c


honestly its not even that many trans people who make jokes like that. they dont literally mean it but theyre venting and you gotta understand that they dont hate cis people, theyre just angry at them and their power over trans people i guess. i dont quite agree with jokes like "cis people should kill themselves" because thats a suicide joke. but jokes like "trans people> cis people" is fine. tumblr can be a safeplace for these trans people. (hint: can. doesnt stop anti sj and transphobes from harassing them) if they dare say anything like this IRL they would get in soo much trouble.  i think once you know transphobia is finally erased then these harmless jokes will go away. but thats not gonna happen anytime soon.

and no one says "die cis scum" that is only said by anti SJ people. i have never ever seen a trans person say that ever. trans people didnt create it.


----------



## Gizmodo

Honestly don't worry tumblr has provided me so much support and the amazing fellow people i have met on there have been lovely to me :3
And yeah i definitely get angry, bi get angry and upset at bigots 
Also whats Anti SJ mean?


----------



## kite

Gizmodo said:


> Spreading hate doesn't help obviously, and i'd never go on a hate campaign, but i think it's different on here especially, somewhere i can rant.


Then use a blog, not a thread meant for supporting people. It's just negativity to me. Personally I don't want to see a rant about some guy I don't care about. Use that time for positivity, it's better for this thread.


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Honestly don't worry tumblr has provided me so much support and the amazing fellow people i have met on there have been lovely to me :3
> And yeah i definitely get angry, bi get angry and upset at bigots
> Also whats Anti SJ mean?



anti sj means anti social justice and theyre basically against "social justice warriors" and feminists. most of the time their opinions are terrible. many of them are transphobic too, though there are a couple trans guys who are anti sj. and theyre pretty racist too. that and some anti sj people are probably neo nazis


----------



## Gizmodo

This is like the first time i've ranted on here anyway , its not like im going to do it on a regular occurence, i can see how its annoying. On the whole this thread has provided a lot of support, especially throguh people who have pmed me to help me in my situation which has been fabby


----------



## Colour Bandit

http://www.essexcountystandard.co.u...w_glass_bottle_at_woman_in_hate_crime/?ref=mr
Unfortunately this happened locally to me on Wednesday, a Trans Woman was followed and attacked by two young men, luckily she wasn't hurt but it is really horrible that something like this has happened. The car they were driving had it's plates taped over so finding the attackers is going to be difficult.


----------



## radical6

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> http://www.essexcountystandard.co.u...w_glass_bottle_at_woman_in_hate_crime/?ref=mr
> Unfortunately this happened locally to me on Wednesday, a Trans Woman was followed and attacked by two young men, luckily she wasn't hurt but it is really horrible that something like this has happened. The car they were driving had it's plates taped over so finding the attackers is going to be difficult.


yeah this is what i mean when i say amab (assigned male at birth) trans people face so much more violence. i mean afab (assigned female at birth) people like me can face violence but i dont think it will ever be as common.trans women and amab nb people have a high chance of being attacked if i recall. my heart goes out for her ):


----------



## Gizmodo

Flying Mint Bunny said:


> http://www.essexcountystandard.co.u...w_glass_bottle_at_woman_in_hate_crime/?ref=mr
> Unfortunately this happened locally to me on Wednesday, a Trans Woman was followed and attacked by two young men, luckily she wasn't hurt but it is really horrible that something like this has happened. The car they were driving had it's plates taped over so finding the attackers is going to be difficult.



Eurgh.. literally theres 0 trans people in my entire town and its scary :/
so disgusting  JUST LEAVE HER ALONE

- - - Post Merge - - -



tsundere said:


> yeah this is what i mean when i say amab (assigned male at birth) trans people face so much more violence. i mean afab (assigned female at birth) people like me can face violence but i dont think it will ever be as common.trans women and amab nb people have a high chance of being attacked if i recall. my heart goes out for her ):



Yeah definitely bc whilst ftm people do face discrimination a lot of people in society whilst not accepting of trans people.. Can accept a girl dressing in a tomboyish way and not bat an eyelid on the street..
Whilst if they see a boy walking down in a dress, everyone stares


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Eurgh.. literally theres 0 trans people in my entire town and its scary :/
> so disgusting  JUST LEAVE HER ALONE
> 
> Yeah definitely bc whilst ftm people do face discrimination a lot of people in society whilst not accepting of trans people.. Can accept a girl dressing in a tomboyish way and not bat an eyelid on the street..
> Whilst if they see a boy walking down in a dress, everyone stares



i prefer to say trans guys or afab rather than female to w/e because it sounds like you're saying they were a girl once. when they were truly never a girl, but i wont get too much into that.

yeah thats why amab people face higher rates of violence. that and its harder for them to pass :/ and its harder for trans women to even buy girl things...because they will get looks in public. as opposed to a trans guy buying male things, i mean they might get looks but no one will question them. and trans guys might get stared at for using the men's bathroom, but whenever a trans girl tries to use the girls bathroom people will scream. i even read a story that a school allowed a trans girl to use the girls bathroom and all these parents of cis girls were like "he is going to harm our daughters....and peek at them..hes a danger and is messed up...we pray for him every night" im like wtf ur the dangerous ones here who keep misgendering her. she didnt even do anything to the girls smh


----------



## Colour Bandit

tsundere said:


> yeah this is what i mean when i say amab (assigned male at birth) trans people face so much more violence. i mean afab (assigned female at birth) people like me can face violence but i dont think it will ever be as common.trans women and amab nb people have a high chance of being attacked if i recall. my heart goes out for her ):


I really hope some witnesses will come forward, on my way home today they had a radio appeal for any witnesses or people who may know the attackers to come forward but I have this horrible feeling the attackers are going to get away  Its things like this that really make me lose faith in humanity... I just hope something like this doesn't happen again in Colchester...


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> i prefer to say trans guys or afab rather than female to w/e because it sounds like you're saying they were a girl once. when they were truly never a girl, but i wont get too much into that.
> 
> yeah thats why amab people face higher rates of violence. that and its harder for them to pass :/ and its harder for trans women to even buy girl things...because they will get looks in public. as opposed to a trans guy buying male things, i mean they might get looks but no one will question them. and trans guys might get stared at for using the men's bathroom, but whenever a trans girl tries to use the girls bathroom people will scream. i even read a story that a school allowed a trans girl to use the girls bathroom and all these parents of cis girls were like "he is going to harm our daughters....and peek at them..hes a danger and is messed up...we pray for him every night" im like wtf ur the dangerous ones here who keep misgendering her. she didnt even do anything to the girls smh



Yeah i'm just used to saying Mtf or ftm, though i prefer to not use the labels at all, its quite complicated, just when posting on the internet and talking in real life, its easier as more people are used to those labels, ill have to explain to you, how i view my label lol its weird, bc some people would just see it as internalized hate which is pretty annoying


----------



## Minties

tsundere said:


> honestly its not even that many trans people who make jokes like that. they dont literally mean it but theyre venting and you gotta understand that they dont hate cis people, theyre just angry at them and their power over trans people i guess. i dont quite agree with jokes like "cis people should kill themselves" because thats a suicide joke. but jokes like "trans people> cis people" is fine. tumblr can be a safeplace for these trans people. (hint: can. doesnt stop anti sj and transphobes from harassing them) if they dare say anything like this IRL they would get in soo much trouble.  i think once you know transphobia is finally erased then these harmless jokes will go away. but thats not gonna happen anytime soon.
> 
> and no one says "die cis scum" that is only said by anti SJ people. i have never ever seen a trans person say that ever. trans people didnt create it.



You cannot have it both ways. You can't excuse all of the horrible things they're saying about straight people as a joke to make light of it all. We are working fully backwards to any sort of equality by excusing this behavior from BOTH sides. "Oh it's just jokes and saying trans > cis is ok!" It doesn't work like that. It would have the same reaction as if you said black people > white people. Not necessary and the only purpose it serves is to cause a greater rift about sexuality. 

I was born with female parts, identify as a female and am fully bisexual. It still doesn't make my opinion invalid. I was told that I was "a godless queer that would burn in hell" by my own grandmother for even being openly bi. You live with it, but being angry and bitter towards anyone with a different sexuality than you only hurts your own acceptance.


----------



## radical6

Minties said:


> You cannot have it both ways. You can't excuse all of the horrible things they're saying about straight people as a joke to make light of it all. We are working fully backwards to any sort of equality by excusing this behavior from BOTH sides. "Oh it's just jokes and saying trans > cis is ok!" It doesn't work like that. It would have the same reaction as if you said black people > white people. Not necessary and the only purpose it serves is to cause a greater rift about sexuality.
> 
> I was born with female parts, identify as a female and am fully bisexual. It still doesn't make my opinion invalid. I was told that I was "a godless queer that would burn in hell" by my own grandmother for even being openly bi. You live with it, but being angry and bitter towards anyone with a different sexuality than you only hurts your own acceptance.



but its not even that many people who make jokes like that?? the only reason it seems like so many people do that is bc its tumblr. irl you dont ever hear of this happening. im not gay/lesbian/bi so i dont talk much about heterophobia or straight people but its p much the same as cisphobia. its not real. theyre people venting about their frustrations. like i said, its so much easier saying i hate straight people than i hate my mother. these jokes arent the same as homophobic jokes. those things said about straight people are only said on tumblr. they can log off if it really hurts them. they can go outside and people will accept them. but a queer person cant do that.

i mean yes queer people can ignore it but its hard to keep that in. they dont hate straight people for real but theyre just upset about the homophobia in their lives. idk how old you are but most of the people making these jokes are teens who cant leave their house if their parents arent accepting. so venting online is probably one of their only ways to cope with it.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> 2. those are trans people venting. its not the same as transphobia. yes it might hurt your feelings but they have to deal with transphobia and for AMAB trans people sometimes murder. (a AMAB agender person i think got set on fire for wearing a skirt)



tsundere, you can't excuse the actions of some people in the trans community by calling it venting. You're falling under the "No true Scotsman" fallacy. For those who don't know, this fallacy modifies the subject of the assertion to exclude the specific case or others like it by rhetoric, without reference to any specific objective rule ("no true Scotsman would do such a thing"). Stolen from Wikipedia.

You can't excuse people saying that just by essentially calling it "venting".


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> tsundere, you can't excuse the actions of some people in the trans community by calling it venting. You're falling under the "No true Scotsman" fallacy. For those who don't know, this fallacy modifies the subject of the assertion to exclude the specific case or others like it by rhetoric, without reference to any specific objective rule ("no true Scotsman would do such a thing"). Stolen from Wikipedia.
> 
> You can't excuse people saying that just by essentially calling it "venting".



except..it is venting?? tumblr is one of their only safe places. and these jokes dont harm anyone because they dont even have power. they cant oppress cis people. when they murder someone for being cis then maybe you'll change my mind. but honestly do you expect trans people to be happy? they face murder, rape, and are likely to commit suicide. who are these people murdering them? cis people. who are these people misgendering them? cis people. do you expect them to stay quiet about their anger? these jokes make them feel like they actually have some power for once, these jokes allow them to vent. i dont agree with telling cis people to go kill themselves though. 

but compare it. a trans person who has no power above cis people making a joke with their trans friends saying "cis people suck"
or a transphobe that can very much go kill a trans person right now saying "i want trans people to die"

the transphobe has the power and can actually go hurt someone.


----------



## Gizmodo

I just hate how the whole trans community is supposed to feel like this, andn we are all grouped into that category
I have problems with people who are bigoted and violent, not the cis community
i certainly don't mhm
The problem is some of Tumblr is  very cult like and people are very influenced on there.. into having certain viewpoints, and if not you're shamed
But i do agree obviously that the cis people do have the power, or else i would have no fear at all lol.


----------



## analytic

people saying that cisphobia is on the same scale as transphobia make me laugh


----------



## Gizmodo

analytic said:


> people saying that cisphobia is on the same scale as transphobia make me laugh



Omg yeah those ppl are ridiculous, yeah it seems like that on tumblr LOL, but in real life um


----------



## oath2order

analytic said:


> people saying that cisphobia is on the same scale as transphobia make me laugh



Nobody here says that though.


----------



## analytic

I didn't say it was anybody here?? I was adding to the actual thread rather than getting in the argument??


----------



## oath2order

analytic said:


> I didn't say it was anybody here?? I was adding to the actual thread rather than getting in the argument??



The way you worded it sounded passive aggressive to people here


----------



## Gizmodo

Also Tumblr genuinely isnt healthy at times, and seems to make a competition over the hardest life
Oh so you're complaining about being trans?? well I'm trans and i have a mental illness.. Oh you're complaining about that? you have no right! i am trans, i have multiple mental illnesses, and i  have bad eyesight.. etc and so on and so forth
its not a health place though i do love some aspects of it


----------



## nabooru

My experience with this sort of thing is difficult. I was on a forum not long ago (stopped going on for different reasons, not the ones I'm about to mention) and I was in a debate with someone. I referred to someone as ''her'' as in ''I don't agree with her opinion'', but I wasn't aware about her trans identity. A friend of said person corrected me and said ''they, don't misgender''. So I was really apologetic because I didn't want to cause any ill harm etc. I thought everything was fine until I went into their own LGBT thread and saw them calling me ''evil'', ''out to destroy my life'', ''without morals'' etc. I had to say something. I had to say that it was not INTENDED as an insult and that I was very sorry that I misgendered them. After that I started to adopt their terminology for trans people and so on, but this one person was adamant that I was out to get them.

This is the issue I have with it. I was told countless times to **check my privilege** (despite the fact that the whole LGBT community on their were white, middle class etc) and I was told that their forum was a safe place for them and I had no right to go in there and start something. I told them that I didn't care, I wasn't having them bad mouthing me to my friends (I was very close to the people on that forum, and still am today) on the basis of a slip. Then they said ''I should have known''. Sorry, am I supposed to check every single person I meet and ask them what kind of gender they prefer to be labelled as? Not realistic. I said I was sorry and I was still labelled as '''evil''' in the following months. I don't get it. 

I myself identify with either pan or bisexual, yet I'm the one who has to be sensitive to others. I just don't like this sense of superiority that some have. I've seen it on Tumblr, too. It's not that I'm being intolerant, I think anyone who knows me will suggest otherwise, but I don't have any patience for some kind of ''holier than thou'' attitude when it comes to identity and sexuality.

EDIT: I apologise in advance if I've upset anyone or triggered anyone. That is not my intention.


----------



## Jawile

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I try not to involve myself with it. When people ask, I do say I support it, but honestly I don't want to discuss it. Like, ever. It always leads to arguments, from my experience.


----------



## HarmoniousMelody

HarmoniousMelody said:


> I've read about asexuality but can someone who is or is very educated on the subject explain it to me more?~



Still want to know~ ;-;


----------



## goodra

HarmoniousMelody said:


> Still want to know~ ;-;





kite said:


> I think this link will be able to go indepth for you:
> 
> http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html



did you miss this or were you looking for more? :0


----------



## HarmoniousMelody

Ibuki said:


> did you miss this or were you looking for more? :0



Ooh I missed that. Lol! Stupid me~

-- 
Yeah, I think I identify as asexual. This is new, because I didn't have a name for what if felt :/ 
Now it feels weird haha. I'm straight but sex isn't appealing at all to me. Maybe it'll change. Who knows?


----------



## radical6

its highly unlikely that it will meet its goal but if u could sign tht would be cool :- )



Gizmodo said:


> Also Tumblr genuinely isnt healthy at times, and seems to make a competition over the hardest life
> Oh so you're complaining about being trans?? well I'm trans and i have a mental illness.. Oh you're complaining about that? you have no right! i am trans, i have multiple mental illnesses, and i  have bad eyesight.. etc and so on and so forth
> its not a health place though i do love some aspects of it



i dont really see that happening? i have seen posts that go ''i have depression' said the cishet white middle class thin ablebodied/minded girl" and i get yeah okay she doesnt really face that much crap but her life can still be bad due to different reasons. maybe she will never face a lot of struggles other people face but that doesnt make her depression any easier. the only way i would ever see someone saying "im trans so you cant complain" would be a cis person complaining about something very small (like cisphobia or w/e) but yeah idk who you follow because i never ever see that



nabooru said:


> My experience with this sort of thing is difficult. I was on a forum not long ago (stopped going on for different reasons, not the ones I'm about to mention) and I was in a debate with someone. I referred to someone as ''her'' as in ''I don't agree with her opinion'', but I wasn't aware about her trans identity. A friend of said person corrected me and said ''they, don't misgender''. So I was really apologetic because I didn't want to cause any ill harm etc. I thought everything was fine until I went into their own LGBT thread and saw them calling me ''evil'', ''out to destroy my life'', ''without morals'' etc. I had to say something. I had to say that it was not INTENDED as an insult and that I was very sorry that I misgendered them. After that I started to adopt their terminology for trans people and so on, but this one person was adamant that I was out to get them.
> 
> This is the issue I have with it. I was told countless times to **check my privilege** (despite the fact that the whole LGBT community on their were white, middle class etc) and I was told that their forum was a safe place for them and I had no right to go in there and start something. I told them that I didn't care, I wasn't having them bad mouthing me to my friends (I was very close to the people on that forum, and still am today) on the basis of a slip. Then they said ''I should have known''. Sorry, am I supposed to check every single person I meet and ask them what kind of gender they prefer to be labelled as? Not realistic. I said I was sorry and I was still labelled as '''evil''' in the following months. I don't get it.



well tbh i get really upset when i get misgendered but i keep it mostly to myself (on here anyway)
i get it was a simple mistake on your part but sometimes people will snap and get angry. dunno if you were close or on friendly terms with them but if you were that probably hurt them more because its even worse being misgendered by friends. it sucks that this happened but ? idk. and yes i would ask what pronouns people use. idk im used to that because i visit sites with lots of trans people so i dont assume gender of people. theres nothing much you can do other than to apologize again.


----------



## Mewmewmewm

Jawile said:


> Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I try not to involve myself with it. When people ask, I do say I support it, but honestly I don't want to discuss it. Like, ever. It always leads to arguments, from my experience.


Same here. I don't even discuss it to the point that I only ever figured out when of my best friends was a lesbian until a week ago. I guess it really doesn't matter what your sexuality is as long as youre a good person.


----------



## Gizmodo

I wasn't saying like literally, but i meant people get judged if they are deemed to have a good life, but moaning
oh you're depressed, yeah but you're white and rich, shush
And tbh i dont follow that many ppl, and not many trans people either, i talk to other trans people in messages discussing our problems but i dont really follow their blogs


----------



## Finnian

So i was about to get married here in Utah. But the law was only changed for literally like 2 weeks omg lol. my wedding is still planned for December anyway though.


----------



## Cudon

nabooru said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> My experience with this sort of thing is difficult. I was on a forum not long ago (stopped going on for different reasons, not the ones I'm about to mention) and I was in a debate with someone. I referred to someone as ''her'' as in ''I don't agree with her opinion'', but I wasn't aware about her trans identity. A friend of said person corrected me and said ''they, don't misgender''. So I was really apologetic because I didn't want to cause any ill harm etc. I thought everything was fine until I went into their own LGBT thread and saw them calling me ''evil'', ''out to destroy my life'', ''without morals'' etc. I had to say something. I had to say that it was not INTENDED as an insult and that I was very sorry that I misgendered them. After that I started to adopt their terminology for trans people and so on, but this one person was adamant that I was out to get them.
> 
> This is the issue I have with it. I was told countless times to **check my privilege** (despite the fact that the whole LGBT community on their were white, middle class etc) and I was told that their forum was a safe place for them and I had no right to go in there and start something. I told them that I didn't care, I wasn't having them bad mouthing me to my friends (I was very close to the people on that forum, and still am today) on the basis of a slip. Then they said ''I should have known''. Sorry, am I supposed to check every single person I meet and ask them what kind of gender they prefer to be labelled as? Not realistic. I said I was sorry and I was still labelled as '''evil''' in the following months. I don't get it.
> 
> I myself identify with either pan or bisexual, yet I'm the one who has to be sensitive to others. I just don't like this sense of superiority that some have. I've seen it on Tumblr, too. It's not that I'm being intolerant, I think anyone who knows me will suggest otherwise, but I don't have any patience for some kind of ''holier than thou'' attitude when it comes to identity and sexuality.
> 
> EDIT: I apologise in advance if I've upset anyone or triggered anyone. That is not my intention.


Goshdarnit... All you did was accidentally call the person by the wrong gender. Seriously what the ****. Why is it so important to be called by the right gender anyways to the point of that whatever that was said in the post can be ignored just to point out your gender. Don't get it. Also the way the person acted even after you apologized is disgusting and really immature.


----------



## Hound00med

Why you all fightin' 

I just like men <3

CAN'T WE ALL JUST LIKE WHO WE LIKE AND LIKE EACH OTHER <3


----------



## Flop

Hound00med said:


> Why you all fightin'
> 
> I just like men <3
> 
> CAN'T WE ALL JUST LIKE WHO WE LIKE AND LIKE EACH OTHER <3



WHY LOVE OTHERS WHEN THERE IS RELIGION.

WEEEEEEE <3


----------



## Zeo

Well.. I'm gay, but I'm also gray-A.


----------



## Gizmodo

I have to tell my friends in the next few weeks before i start treatment #pray4me


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> I have to tell my friends in the next few weeks before i start treatment #pray4me



good luck!


----------



## Cudon

Gizmodo said:


> I have to tell my friends in the next few weeks before i start treatment #pray4me


Good luck c:


----------



## Amykins

Dinomates said:


> Goshdarnit... All you did was accidentally call the person by the wrong gender. Seriously what the ****. Why is it so important to be called by the right gender anyways to the point of that whatever that was said in the post can be ignored just to point out your gender.



It's important because for most trans people, a lot of bigots will refuse to call them by their gender and will insist on calling them "he" or "she" or even "shemales" or something far, far worse. Please don't trivialize their plight like this, they face a heck of a lot more discrimination than you or I do.

Many of my friends are trans, and I for one don't get why they're shunned not only by bigoted straight people, but even the gay community at times, as well. The way I see it, gender reassignment is a long, painful process - your body literally breaks itself down and has to rebuild itself right down to the cellular level. It's miserable.

Anyone strong enough to go through that, AND the hate from others, just to become the person you always wanted to be, is nothing but respectable in my book. <3


----------



## oak

I'm not really sure what's being discussed right now, but I have something random to get off my chest. I hate how I can't walk down the road without having "***" screamed at me from a car. It's happened so many times with me & my boyfriend! One time me & my boyfriend, along with my 2 male gay friends were walking down the road and we had a group of straight men get out of their car & chase us. Do you know how terrifying that is? My friends have been threatened with knifes & punched in the face. I live in British Columbia, Canada so I thought we'd be a little more progressive but apparently not. My post had no point really, it's just been eating away at me & I had to spit it out somewhere.


----------



## Gizmodo

I mean im not starting till like August BUT i need to stop lying tbh its eating me up


----------



## Amykins

noahmeow said:


> I'm not really sure what's being discussed right now, but I have something random to get off my chest. I hate how I can't walk down the road without having "***" screamed at me from a car. It's happened so many times with me & my boyfriend! One time me & my boyfriend, along with my 2 male gay friends were walking down the road and we had a group of straight men get out of their car & chase us. Do you know how terrifying that is? My friends have been threatened with knifes & punched in the face. I live in British Columbia, Canada so I thought we'd be a little more progressive but apparently not. My post had no point really, it's just been eating away at me & I had to spit it out somewhere.



This is why I get so upset to hear ignorant people say "Oh, there's no such ting as racism/homophobia/misogyny/what-have you. It's WAY better than it ever has been for the LBGT community, but we still have a long way to go as a society. What about you, personally though? Are you and your bf okay? You're not in any real physical threat, right? I'm in Seattle, so if Amy has to drive up and choke a b!tch she will dangit! XD


----------



## oak

Amykins said:


> This is why I get so upset to hear ignorant people say "Oh, there's no such ting as racism/homophobia/misogyny/what-have you. It's WAY better than it ever has been for the LBGT community, but we still have a long way to go as a society. What about you, personally though? Are you and your bf okay? You're not in any real physical threat, right? I'm in Seattle, so if Amy has to drive up and choke a b!tch she will dangit! XD


I have a perfect quote! "If you stick a knife in my back nine inches and pull it out six inches, that’s not progress. If you pull it all the way out, that’s not progress. The progress comes from healing the wound that the blow made. They haven’t even begun to pull the knife out. They won’t even admit the knife is there." People think oppression is a thing of the past, but they couldn't be more wrong! Things are just starting to change, they've got quite a ways to go. 

Yes me & my boyfriend were okay, luckily the guys chasing us lost interest. Thank god cause my fat smoking ass couldn't have run any longer lol. The situation hurt me more mentally then physically. I could never imagine chasing someone down the road threatening them for fun? Idk people are twisted. I appreciate your concern though!


----------



## Amykins

Okay, good. That IS an awesome quote, though.  I know a good one too, to use whenever some A-hole asks "If women/gays/blacks/hispanics have it so tough, then how come they have crisis centers and scholarships and junk made just for them?"

Same reason you don't get a gaddang blue shell when you're first place in Mario Kart, numb nuts!!!


----------



## Zeo

noahmeow said:


> I'm not really sure what's being discussed right now, but I have something random to get off my chest. I hate how I can't walk down the road without having "***" screamed at me from a car. It's happened so many times with me & my boyfriend! One time me & my boyfriend, along with my 2 male gay friends were walking down the road and we had a group of straight men get out of their car & chase us. Do you know how terrifying that is? My friends have been threatened with knifes & punched in the face. I live in British Columbia, Canada so I thought we'd be a little more progressive but apparently not. My post had no point really, it's just been eating away at me & I had to spit it out somewhere.



Oh gosh... that's really terrifying. D:


----------



## radical6

Amykins said:


> Okay, good. That IS an awesome quote, though.  I know a good one too, to use whenever some A-hole asks "If women/gays/blacks/hispanics have it so tough, then how come they have crisis centers and scholarships and junk made just for them?"
> 
> Same reason you don't get a gaddang blue shell when you're first place in Mario Kart, numb nuts!!!



omg i love when people say "the same reason why you dont have a blue shell in mario kart if youre first" it makes me smile
but i remember reading a law in CA that was passed so that colleges could set their standards for asians trying to get scholarships even higher than the rest because ppl complained that "there are too many asians in college!11!!" or some bs like that and i was so angry im never going to college in CA.


really though im sorry you had to deal with that noahmeow. omg. thats so scary i would probably freak out. i dont think that would happen to me here though because i live in seattle but i could probably see me getting hurt for being nonbinary in the future maybe?? but thats terrible people are gross ):


----------



## Squigly Contiello

I'm just really unsure of what my identity is. I've been trying out new pronouns such as fae, and I feel it fits me, but I'm still pretty okay with she. I guess I would just go with a general genderfluid for now if I had to define it. I just feel partly "female", but partly not?

And I don't know if this has been brought up in either here or the gender poll thread, but I think that the stickied poll right now is binarist. There isn't another option for those outside the gender binary, and a simple other option would suffice. I'm a little afraid of getting ridiculed, though.


----------



## Gizmodo

The wait of 5 months for treatment is gonna kill me i think D:
eurgh dont they realise irreversible changes could happen in those months :l
It was meant to be June.. but i couldnt get into the nearest endricronology testing, so overall wont get anything till like August now -.-
Gonna be scary starting the new college year too


----------



## KeatAlex

Da gays


----------



## radical6

Squigly Contiello said:


> I'm just really unsure of what my identity is. I've been trying out new pronouns such as fae, and I feel it fits me, but I'm still pretty okay with she. I guess I would just go with a general genderfluid for now if I had to define it. I just feel partly "female", but partly not?
> 
> And I don't know if this has been brought up in either here or the gender poll thread, but I think that the stickied poll right now is binarist. There isn't another option for those outside the gender binary, and a simple other option would suffice. I'm a little afraid of getting ridiculed, though.


you might be a demigirl if youre okay with being a girl and nb. idk im not going to say what you are and arent but just a thought!
fae pronouns are cute but i heard they were otherkin only so i was like oh ok and i stopped using them. idk they might not be for otherkin. i use they/them pronouns for the most part.

also yeah i realized that too. i said i was a girl when i first join (wasnt too clear about how i felt but i just said i was a girl to make it easier) and im too scared to say anything in that thread either its okay


----------



## Sir Takoya

I'm straight, but since I dress like a boy and act like one, everyone claims that I'm lesbian. But I don't really care. They're morons. :3


----------



## Solar

These past few months have been a bit rough, but it's finally coming to an end after debating for so long what I felt my sexuality is. I've realized that I am straight. A lot of the time though I guess act stereotypically "gay" so bullies have been an issue for a while and have really affected me in such a way that I was so upset and unsure about who I really was. I ended up getting hocd but finally I've had a breakthrough and realized, if the thoughts of doing certain things with guys gives me no sort of pleasure, while with girls it does, the answer became clear. I know it's not on the current subject but it feels good to let out my story. I understand any hate anyone is going through as I've been there myself, but I'm always here for any of you and thanks for listening <3

- - - Post Merge - - -

Ooo I was the 1,000th reply too, glad to know it was of a positive story and support


----------



## keepitshay

The first person I told that I was asexual (she's still my best friend awkwardly enough) went on a rant about how I was weird and not human and everything like that so it kind of made me hesitant to tell anyone else, tbh. She's come around a lot but it's still hard to get over that initial reaction, you know?


----------



## kite

keepitshay said:


> The first person I told that I was asexual (she's still my best friend awkwardly enough) went on a rant about how I was weird and not human and everything like that so it kind of made me hesitant to tell anyone else, tbh. She's come around a lot but it's still hard to get over that initial reaction, you know?



Yeah, I bet it still hurts. :<

Honestly I remember being a freshman in high school years ago and one of my classmates came out to me in the middle of class. I was all "Eww, really?" in a joking manner. And he told me that he was serious and that the way I reacted was hurtful. It was also my first time having someone come out to me, but since then I never reacted that way again... and I've had closer friends come out to me over the years. So yeah, I remember.


----------



## Sir Takoya

Benmjy said:


> These past few months have been a bit rough, but it's finally coming to an end after debating for so long what I felt my sexuality is. I've realized that I am straight. A lot of the time though I guess act stereotypically "gay" so bullies have been an issue for a while and have really affected me in such a way that I was so upset and unsure about who I really was. I ended up getting hocd but finally I've had a breakthrough and realized, if the thoughts of doing certain things with guys gives me no sort of pleasure, while with girls it does, the answer became clear. I know it's not on the current subject but it feels good to let out my story. I understand any hate anyone is going through as I've been there myself, but I'm always here for any of you and thanks for listening <3
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Ooo I was the 1,000th reply too, glad to know it was of a positive story and support



Yeah, I know how it feels (previous post). I don't understand why people just can't be people and be left alone.

_Also...Blanche dreamie. <3_


----------



## PurplPanda

A lot of my friends jokingly call me gay, all in the name of fun. I mean, I'm not really sure yet, but I wouldn't like to be labeled in a way that isn't true. I just wish they were more supportive of my personality and stuff.


----------



## radical6

keepitshay said:


> The first person I told that I was asexual (she's still my best friend awkwardly enough) went on a rant about how I was weird and not human and everything like that so it kind of made me hesitant to tell anyone else, tbh. She's come around a lot but it's still hard to get over that initial reaction, you know?



thats terrible. im sorry. idk why asexuals/aromantics arent accepted...romance isnt needed in life. sex isn't needed either. i dont know why people find that so confusing? why is it so hard for you to accept wtf.

i told my irl friend that i was nonbinary and the first thing she said was "so you're not human? you're an it?" im like wtf. she kept calling me an it and kept misgendering me (she was being racist as hell to me as well) and idk. i just wish i knew some trans people in my school. hell i would even be cool with any queer kids.


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> thats terrible. im sorry. idk why asexuals/aromantics arent accepted...romance isnt needed in life. sex isn't needed either. i dont know why people find that so confusing? why is it so hard for you to accept wtf.
> 
> i told my irl friend that i was nonbinary and the first thing she said was "so you're not human? you're an it?" im like wtf. she kept calling me an it and kept misgendering me (she was being racist as hell to me as well) and idk. i just wish i knew some trans people in my school. hell i would even be cool with any queer kids.



Let's start a nonbinary group and see how many people join.


----------



## Squigly Contiello

tsundere said:


> you might be a demigirl if youre okay with being a girl and nb. idk im not going to say what you are and arent but just a thought!
> fae pronouns are cute but i heard they were otherkin only so i was like oh ok and i stopped using them. idk they might not be for otherkin. i use they/them pronouns for the most part.
> 
> also yeah i realized that too. i said i was a girl when i first join (wasnt too clear about how i felt but i just said i was a girl to make it easier) and im too scared to say anything in that thread either its okay


I was considering that too, but for some reason I was unsure because my partner who is a demigirl and prefers ae pronouns is DMAB. But it could still work, I think.
And yeah, I was unsure about that but I consulted my partner about that and ae thinks it's okay. I'm not even sure what I am in that sense, I could have been anything in a past life and maybe it's a part of me now?
I'm glad someone else thought that too, at least. Some of them just might not be aware, but it's really hard to tell how they'll act.


Sir Takoya said:


> Let's start a nonbinary group and see how many people join.


I'd be happy to be a part of that, actually.


----------



## Sir Takoya

Squigly Contiello said:


> I was considering that too, but for some reason I was unsure because my partner who is a demigirl and prefers ae pronouns is DMAB. But it could still work, I think.
> And yeah, I was unsure about that but I consulted my partner about that and ae thinks it's okay. I'm not even sure what I am in that sense, I could have been anything in a past life and maybe it's a part of me now?
> I'm glad someone else thought that too, at least. Some of them just might not be aware, but it's really hard to tell how they'll act.
> 
> I'd be happy to be a part of that, actually.



Let's start a petition. Mod spamming away!


----------



## keepitshay

tsundere said:


> thats terrible. im sorry. idk why asexuals/aromantics arent accepted...romance isnt needed in life. sex isn't needed either. i dont know why people find that so confusing? why is it so hard for you to accept wtf.



yeah like people have a problem with people having a lot of sex and then they have a problem when people don't have any.. like why does it matter? just let them do whatever they want it's not affecting you, honestly.


----------



## oak

For Valentine's Day, I wrote my boyfriend a really cheesy card and his little 9 year old brother found it & read it. He was almost tearing up, and he was like "I'm so glad gays can get married in Canada, thank you Obama". He was dead serious, almost in tears. xD It was too cute & hilarious.


----------



## LadyVivia

noahmeow said:


> For Valentine's Day, I wrote my boyfriend a really cheesy card and his little 9 year old brother found it & read it. He was almost tearing up, and he was like "I'm so glad gays can get married in Canada, thank you Obama". He was dead serious, almost in tears. xD It was too cute & hilarious.



OH MY GOSH. "Thank you Obama" OH NO. OH NO, HEART ATTACK. *Cough cough*. I'm sorry. I have nothing against gays just (Is bisexual).. "Thank you Obama" is just.. oh. oh dear. Oh.


----------



## Zeiro

one of my teachers split the class into boys and girl for a review competition yesterday. i wanted to move to the girl's side since most of my friends were over there and i felt uncomfortable on the boy's side, but i didn't say anything.


----------



## Jake

Reizo said:


> one of my teachers split the class into boys and girl for a review competition yesterday. i wanted to move to the girl's side since most of my friends were over there and i felt uncomfortable on the boy's side, but i didn't say anything.



THAT HAPPENED TO ME ALL THE TIME OMG I FEEL YOU IT SUCKS SO MUCH BUT IN THE END I JUST SAID **** IT AND DID WHAT I WANT


----------



## Nkosazana

Thiers soneone in my college class who's gay (two actually) but one of them talks like a girl and wears make-up and massive wedge like shoes
and a majority of the class hate him (I don't because he's always nice to me) Where as with the other guy everyone loves him o.o
I personally dont get it o.e


----------



## Sir Takoya

Reizo said:


> one of my teachers split the class into boys and girl for a review competition yesterday. i wanted to move to the girl's side since most of my friends were over there and i felt uncomfortable on the boy's side, but i didn't say anything.



That happened to me once. We had to communicate with the opposite gender. It was no problem.


----------



## Gizmodo

Jake. said:


> THAT HAPPENED TO ME ALL THE TIME OMG I FEEL YOU IT SUCKS SO MUCH BUT IN THE END I JUST SAID **** IT AND DID WHAT I WANT



Eurgh it was horrific at school.. so glad school is over
Physical education was horrific, my dysphoria was so bad, and i didnt want to do football ffs


----------



## Jake

Gizmodo said:


> Eurgh it was horrific at school.. so glad school is over
> Physical education was horrific, my dysphoria was so bad, and i didnt want to do football ffs



i feel u. the teachers always tried to do boys v girls and **** and i always went with the girls.

but omg once we had to do some running thing and boys had to run 3km and girls only had to run 2km and i went with the girls (but at the time i didnt know the girls had to run less) and then when girls were about to run teacher saw me and was like "omg ur only here coz ur a lazy **** and u hav to run less" BUT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW GUHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


----------



## Jeremy

Jake. said:


> i feel u. the teachers always tried to do boys v girls and **** and i always went with the girls.
> 
> but omg once we had to do some running thing and boys had to run 3km and girls only had to run 2km and i went with the girls (but at the time i didnt know the girls had to run less) and then when girls were about to run teacher saw me and was like "omg ur only here coz ur a lazy **** and u hav to run less" BUT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW GUHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


The male body is stronger and can run longer, so there's nothing wrong with breaking up athletics by sex.


----------



## Jake

Jeremy said:


> The male body is stronger and can run longer, so there's nothing wrong with breaking up athletics by sex.



minE IS WEAK


----------



## Flop

Unless you're lazy like Jake.


----------



## oath2order

Sir Takoya said:


> Let's start a petition. Mod spamming away!



What are we mod spammin?



Jeremy said:


> The male body is stronger and can run longer, so there's nothing wrong with breaking up athletics by sex.



Oh hi jer! Something you want to tell us in this thread? *hopeful*


----------



## Sir Takoya

oath2order said:


> What are we mod spammin?
> 
> 
> 
> Oh hi jer! Something you want to tell us in this thread? *hopeful*



We wanna start an nonbinary club


----------



## Cariad

I find that any of these people get bullied and gay is a term of something stupid these days. I'm not sure what I am, but I know that I'm not normal.i prefer being around guys, than girls, so am I trans? I like boys more, and I only look like I do cos of stereotypes, but I wanna look like a guy, like how I feel inside...
ARGH


----------



## oak

ACNL noodle said:


> I find that any of these people get bullied and gay is a term of something stupid these days. I'm not sure what I am, but I know that I'm not normal.i prefer being around guys, than girls, so am I trans? I like boys more, and I only look like I do cos of stereotypes, but I wanna look like a guy, like how I feel inside...
> ARGH


Just wanting to hang around the opposite sex doesn't make you trans. You could even wanna appear very masculine & not be a transman. There's lots of manly woman & that's okay too! Only you can tell yourself if you're trans! No one else can look inside you & see how you feel. If you're feeling serious about this, maybe try talking to a counselor or gender therapist? Or a LBGTQA+ support group could be a small first step. They can help you sort out these feelings. I know doubting your gender can be very hard & confusing, so if you need someone to PM, feel free to message me!


----------



## Cariad

noahmeow said:


> Just wanting to hang around the opposite sex doesn't make you trans. You could even wanna appear very masculine & not be a transman. There's lots of manly woman & that's okay too! Only you can tell yourself if you're trans! No one else can look inside you & see how you feel. If you're feeling serious about this, maybe try talking to a counselor or gender therapist? Or a LBGTQA+ support group could be a small first step. They can help you sort out these feelings. I know doubting your gender can be very hard & confusing, so if you need someone to PM, feel free to message me!



Thanks. I'm not sure what I am, or what I'm going to do or be. It's kinda stressful, and I'm unsure what to do. Also, there are girls that I fancy, so am I just lesbian? I think that's what it is. I don't know. *cries*


----------



## oak

ACNL noodle said:


> Thanks. I'm not sure what I am, or what I'm going to do or be. It's kinda stressful, and I'm unsure what to do. Also, there are girls that I fancy, so am I just lesbian? I think that's what it is. I don't know. *cries*


You won't be able to figure yourself out in one day, it's been 3 years for me and i'm still unsure exactly who I am! Just try and follow what you feel, you don't need to slap a label on yourself so quick. Maybe try dating a little bit, see how you feel.


----------



## Cariad

It's been a year btw. But yeah, I understand. Thanks <3


----------



## Jas0n

Gay marriage legalised at midnight in England and Wales [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26782081]

It's about time!


----------



## SockHead

Jeremy said:


> The male body is stronger and can run longer



this comes off very ignorant


----------



## KarlaKGB

SockHead said:


> this comes off very ignorant



Empirical data on human physiology shows that on average, males are taller and stronger than females. Anyone who tries to argue against that is an idiot.


----------



## kite

KarlaKGB said:


> Empirical data on human physiology shows that on average, males are taller and stronger than females. Anyone who tries to argue against that is an idiot.



There are exceptions, people shouldn't be generalized.


----------



## debinoresu

please don't use statistics to generalise people. generalising leads to issues like homophobia and racism  sexism etc with the defense that "it's technically fact" because of statistics. generalising people is never okay and is harmful to that group of people.

anyways, im g and t. closeted in both irl, sort of.


----------



## Bowie

KarlaKGB said:


> Empirical data on human physiology shows that on average, males are taller and stronger than females. Anyone who tries to argue against that is an idiot.



Well, I guess I'm an idiot.


----------



## SockHead

:-}


----------



## KarlaKGB

kite said:


> There are exceptions, people shouldn't be generalized.


Was I generalising? I was stating that males on average tend to be faster and stronger. I wasn't saying all males are faster and stronger.



debinoresu said:


> please don't use statistics to generalise people. generalising leads to issues like homophobia and racism  sexism etc with the defense that "it's technically fact" because of statistics. generalising people is never okay and is harmful to that group of people.
> 
> anyways, im g and t. closeted in both irl, sort of.


Oh piss off with that attitude. That's the sort of wishywashy PC brigade argument that I detest. Someone says something you disagree with and you throw out the racism/homophobia/sexism card instead of having a proper discussion.


----------



## SockHead

KarlaKGB said:


> Anyone who tries to argue against that is an idiot.





KarlaKGB said:


> having a proper discussion.



h u e


----------



## kite

KarlaKGB said:


> Was I generalising? I was stating that males on average tend to be faster and stronger. I wasn't saying all males are faster and stronger.



It sounded that way to me.



SockHead said:


> h u e



Pffft. I'm not laughing. Really. I'm not.

----

...Wait, this is getting off topic. :I


----------



## Bowie

KarlaKGB said:


> Oh piss off with that attitude.



Directional profanity is not allowed, mate.


----------



## jinyoung

ooooh. what a lovely thread ; w ;

i identify as panromantic grey-asexual. i do consider myself to be a girl, but i do still go through bouts of extreme gender / sexuality identity crises. it can be difficult on occasion, because my girlfriend is bisexual, and it's really hard for sexuals to understand aces sometimes (a lot of the time -.-)


----------



## radical6

Is this real. Please tell me this is fake
hell if they could they would probably pass a law that allows them to kill us in the name of religious freedom. 
petition against the law here


----------



## yosugay

tsundere said:


> Is this real. Please tell me this is fake
> hell if they could they would probably pass a law that allows them to kill us in the name of religious freedom.
> petition against the law here


that is so disgusting


----------



## Solar

tsundere said:


> Is this real. Please tell me this is fake
> hell if they could they would probably pass a law that allows them to kill us in the name of religious freedom.
> petition against the law here



That's so horrendous idek where to begin.


----------



## Byngo

tsundere said:


> Is this real. Please tell me this is fake
> hell if they could they would probably pass a law that allows them to kill us in the name of religious freedom.
> petition against the law here



What the hell.

Not just allowing discrimination of homosexuals is bad-everything about it is ridiculous. Kids will be forced to listen to religious  viewpoints, and parents couldn't do anything about it? good lord


----------



## Marii

tsundere said:


> Is this real. Please tell me this is fake
> hell if they could they would probably pass a law that allows them to kill us in the name of religious freedom.
> petition against the law here



>allowing bullying of any kind
Um??? -_-

--

Also... What is it like to only like one gender? like, what does it feel like? is there ever anyone you feel like you _would_ be sexually attracted to _if_ they were of your preferred gender? or, like, does it just never get there? or is it different for everyone? I am a curious bisexual


----------



## yosugay

Marii said:


> >allowing bullying of any kind
> Um??? -_-
> 
> --
> 
> Also... What is it like to only like one gender? like, what does it feel like? is there ever anyone you feel like you _would_ be sexually attracted to _if_ they were of your preferred gender? or, like, does it just never get there? or is it different for everyone? I am a curious bisexual



im straight but im attracted to many females, but not in a sexual way?? its hard to explain, like i'll even crush on some girls cuz they're cute but thats it. i used to kinda have a crush on my female friend but it went away, i didnt really care that she was a girl i just liked hanging out with her and stuff, but i didnt feel any sexual feelings the way i do with males. its kinda hard to explain but sometimes i do question my sexuality because sexuality is so fluid i mean it could be so many things.


----------



## radical6

Marii said:


> >allowing bullying of any kind
> Um??? -_-
> 
> --
> 
> Also... What is it like to only like one gender? like, what does it feel like? is there ever anyone you feel like you _would_ be sexually attracted to _if_ they were of your preferred gender? or, like, does it just never get there? or is it different for everyone? I am a curious bisexual



well for me i switched between androsexual (attraction to masculine people regardless of gender) and pansexual but i went back to pansexual. personally i dont have that much of a preference because even if i did identify as androsexual i realized that i didnt rly care too much about how feminine/masculine someone was so yeah. 

in other news i came out to my therapist and she supported me! though she mentioned that she knows a trans woman therapist and was going to recommend me to her if she had room, so im pretty excited to have someone i can talk to


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> Is this real. Please tell me this is fake
> hell if they could they would probably pass a law that allows them to kill us in the name of religious freedom.
> petition against the law here



The bill is heinous but are you stupid? No, they couldn't pass the law to kill in the name of religious freedom. Why would you even say that? Hyperbole does not help anything.



kite said:


> There are exceptions, people shouldn't be generalized.



Um, duh? There are outliers to every statistic.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> The bill is heinous but are you stupid? No, they couldn't pass the law to kill in the name of religious freedom. Why would you even say that? Hyperbole does not help anything.



um thats why i said if they could they would. i know they wont pass a law like that? but considering they passed a bill that basically allows them to bully for no reason you dont think they would jump on the chance to kill us?? but they already do so whatever


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> um thats why i said if they could they would. i know they wont pass a law like that? but considering they passed a bill that basically allows them to bully for no reason you dont think they would jump on the chance to kill us?? but they already do so whatever



No, they wouldn't? I'm pretty sure that there are some decent people who would be like "wait this is going a little too far".


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> No, they wouldn't? I'm pretty sure that there are some decent people who would be like "wait this is going a little too far".



you never know how extreme they can be. if they were decent they would've said it was going too far when the bill first came up. i know not all of them want us dead but some of them dont even see us as human and would probably shoot us if it was legal. trans women are attacked and killed and usually never get justice. im pretty sure they would.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> you never know how extreme they can be. if they were decent they would've said it was going too far when the bill first came up. i know not all of them want us dead but some of them dont even see us as human and would probably shoot us if it was legal. trans women are attacked and killed and usually never get justice. im pretty sure they would.



If the bill was put up for vote, I'm pretty sure the feds would somehow get involved.


----------



## kite

Marii said:


> Also... What is it like to only like one gender? like, what does it feel like? is there ever anyone you feel like you _would_ be sexually attracted to _if_ they were of your preferred gender? or, like, does it just never get there? or is it different for everyone? I am a curious bisexual



You see people you are not attracted to. You see people you are attracted to. I think no matter your orientation, there will always be people you are attracted to and people you aren't attracted to.

Personally, I identify as a straight female. From a straight female's point of view towards seeing another pretty female, I'd admire them for their beauty and aesthetics, but they still wouldn't make me _interested_ in the way I see men who have caught my attention. For your third question, I would say yes. Kind of like genderbent stuff, I wouldn't be attracted to the girl version, but I'd like the guy if it looked good to me. This is coming from a standpoint based on appearances, not personality.


----------



## oath2order

http://smadaleinad.tumblr.com/post/81133978371/it-never-has

well this sums up a lot.

- - - Post Merge - - -

there's arrows on the sides btw to see the multiple pictures.


----------



## LadyVivia

Gay marriage is legal in England.
Time to move to England, bye guys.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> http://smadaleinad.tumblr.com/post/81133978371/it-never-has
> 
> well this sums up a lot.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> there's arrows on the sides btw to see the multiple pictures.



how many times have i tried to explain the difference between cisphobia/hetrophobia and transphobia/homophobia and "reverse racism" and omfg. i give up.. no one gets anywhere by spreading love and rainbows. the oppressed dont actually hate their oppressors??? they hate their privilege and how theyre treated unfair by them but thats it??

thats cool for england though. gay marriage is already legal where i live so i dont need to move heh


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> how many times have i tried to explain the difference between cisphobia/hetrophobia and transphobia/homophobia and "reverse racism" and omfg. i give up.. no one gets anywhere by spreading love and rainbows. the oppressed dont actually hate their oppressors??? they hate their privilege and how theyre treated unfair by them but thats it??
> 
> thats cool for england though. gay marriage is already legal where i live so i dont need to move heh



How many times have I explained that hatred doesn't get anybody anywhere? You seem to think that just because it's on your "team" (I can't think of a better word, sorry) that it's all fine.

Quit being an apologist for hate of any kind.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> How many times have I explained that hatred doesn't get anybody anywhere? You seem to think that just because it's on your "team" (I can't think of a better word, sorry) that it's all fine.
> 
> Quit being an apologist for hate of any kind.



how many times have i explained that being simply nice to oppressors wont work? you seem to think that jokes about oppressors is on the same level as systematic oppression.

quit tone policing


----------



## keepitshay

tsundere said:


> they hate their privilege and how theyre treated unfair by them but thats it??



Did you not actually read what they said? There's a difference between hating a human being or group and hating a privilege that someone has. It's like not having a nice car and saying you hate that someone else was able to afford a better car. It's not you spewing hate at that person. It's hating a concept or idea.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> how many times have i explained that being simply nice to oppressors wont work? you seem to think that jokes about oppressors is on the same level as systematic oppression.
> 
> quit tone policing



No, I don't think that. I just don't think we should lower ourselves to the level of the system oppresors.


----------



## radical6

keepitshay said:


> Did you not actually read what they said? There's a difference between hating a human being or group and hating a privilege that someone has. It's like not having a nice car and saying you hate that someone else was able to afford a better car. It's not you spewing hate at that person. It's hating a concept or idea.


thank you 



oath2order said:


> No, I don't think that. I just don't think we should lower ourselves to the level of the system oppresors.



ok but we aren't going on the same level as them. we dont want them to die (most of us anyway). we dont want their rights to be taken away. we dont want to hurt them.we're not angry at them for being who they are, we're angry about their privilege. 
the rage of the oppressed is never the same as the rage of the privileged.


----------



## goodra

oath2order said:


> http://smadaleinad.tumblr.com/post/81133978371/it-never-has
> 
> well this sums up a lot.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> there's arrows on the sides btw to see the multiple pictures.



(whoops this ended up very long, if someone thinks i should put it inside a spoiler please tell me and i will.)

ahaha oh please

i'll only talk about the """"""""heterophobia""""""""" and """"""""CIS"""""""" (why did the op put that in all caps uh) since it's the relevant part in the tread, but it doesn't mean the rest of it is unimportant

"hate won't end hate" except love and being nice to opressors won't end hate either. being nothing but nice to a certain group of people didn't stop them from punching me, spitting on me and laughing. it's not even close to the worst that could've happened. 

homophobes and transphobes don't care if someone is nice, they are going to hate them anyways no matter what because _thats what they ****ing do_

when i say i hate cis people i obviously don't mean every cis person ever. like who even assumes that(too many people that's who). i don't hate my sister, i don't hate my best friends who are cis and the only ones who actually listen, i don't hate cishet people that fight for lgbt+ rights without making it all about themselves, i don't hate cis people who are supportive to complete strangers(nos cis/het), it doesn't matter if i know them or not.

saying "i hate cis(het) people" is a lot shorter than saying "i hate transphobes, i hate cis people who absolutely refuse to take someone's pronouns seriously, i hate cis people who support lgb+ rights but are transphobic, i hate cis people who claim they support the whole acronym but go around and misgender and disrespect people all the time, i hate cis people who punish trans people by misgendering them, i hate transphobic non-het people, i hate cis people who think it's okay to use transphobic slurs", isn't it. that's not even the whole list

transphobia exists because of cis people. we as trans people wouldn't be where we are without cis people, because transphobia comes from cis people. there are tons of very nice, supportive, decent etc. cis people, but being realistic the only place where these nice persons are the majority is in certain parts of the internet. in the real world, transphobia is the default, and depending on where you live finding these people can be easy or very, very rare.

so it pisses me off when people say someone saying "how many cishets do u need 2 change a lightbulb" is the same as someone saying "tr****es are disgusting" (not saying you're doing that but it's related), because no. no it isn't. it isn't even _close_.

however, i do think it's important to mention that i don't agree with someone telling a specific person/group (as in, say, 6 people) to die _just_ because they're cis, at all. honestly though, i've yet to see it happen for no reason. people "coming out" as cishets are ridiculous, and it makes me angry too but i still don't agree with the death threats and messages encouraging suicide etc. since those are inappropiate in any situation, really. this and transphobic comments are the only cases i've seen a cis person get attacked while having being cis as part of the reason.

i'm so, so tired of people thinking cisphobia and heterophobia are real.


----------



## KingofHearts

I'm ghey and I no haz boyfran. :<

I just came out to my church fellowship too.

:>


----------



## keepitshay

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ what Ibuki said

there's a difference between being systematically oppressed and having your feelings hurt.


----------



## oath2order

Welp guess I don't really line up with the LGBTQA community then if they think hating people instead of acting like civilized human beings to show that they're like everybody else is the way to go then.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Welp guess I don't really line up with the LGBTQA community then if they think hating people instead of acting like civilized human beings to show that they're like everybody else is the way to go then.



do you like. read. anything we say. at all.
we can act nice and still get laughed at. we can act polite and still be ignored. we can treat them the same and we can still be killed.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> do you like. read. anything we say. at all.



Yes, I do. And I don't agree with it. I have my opinions on how I think we should react to homo/transphobia and it's very clearly different than yours.

- - - Post Merge - - -



tsundere said:


> do you like. read. anything we say. at all.



Yes, I do. And I don't agree with it. I have my opinions on how I think we should react to homo/transphobia and it's very clearly different than yours.


----------



## goodra

oath2order said:


> Welp guess I don't really line up with the LGBTQA community then if they think hating people instead of acting like civilized human beings to show that they're like everybody else is the way to go then.



welp i guess i shouldn't have bothered replying since you either 1) misinterpreted absolutely everything i said or b) didn't even read it


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Yes, I do. And I don't agree with it. I have my opinions on how I think we should react to homo/transphobia and it's very clearly different than yours.



what do you think we should do then? sit down and have a cup of tea with them and politely tell them? we do that. and it doesnt work. i can tell my parents to stop being transphobic and they can call me mentally ill and scream at me.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> what do you think we should do then? sit down and have a cup of tea with them and politely tell them? we do that. and it doesnt work.



You know what was really efficient?

Nelson Mandela's peaceful protesting methods.

Peaceful protest works.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> You know what was really efficient?
> 
> Nelson Mandela's peaceful protesting methods.
> 
> Peaceful protest works.



He was put in jail
MLK tried preaching and he got shot

being peaceful gets us killed.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> He was put in jail



Okay and?

He still got done what he wanted to get done.

You know what was also fairly effective? MLK's protesting methods.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Okay and?
> 
> He still got done what he wanted to get done.
> 
> You know what was also fairly effective? MLK's protesting methods.



he went to jail. you think he deserved that.
MLK got shot. you think he deserved that
you think peaceful protesting wont get us killed

sorry but im not going to go around saying "hey guys ^_^ why dont we all love each other :333333" because that doesnt get us ANYWHERE. it only gives us harm.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> he went to jail. you think he deserved that.
> MLK got shot. you think he deserved that
> you think peaceful protesting wont get us killed



What the **** is wrong with you that made you get the implication that I thought they deserved that?


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> What the **** is wrong with you that made you get the implication that I thought they deserved that?



they got hurt because of their peaceful protests?????????? 
that was poor wording on my part, but im trying to say look at the people who peacefully protested. they get hurt.

i dont want to make oppressors feel good about themselves. they dont deserve to feel good about it. saying stuff like "hey guys whyc ant we all love each other ! equality!" doesnt help at all because they will never understand or care unless you say it to them cold.


----------



## Amykins

tsundere said:


> he went to jail. you think he deserved that.
> MLK got shot. you think he deserved that
> you think peaceful protesting wont get us killed
> 
> sorry but im not going to go around saying "hey guys ^_^ why dont we all love each other :333333" because that doesnt get us ANYWHERE. it only gives us harm.



That is a very, VERY dangerous way of thinking. Know who else probably thinks like that? Vladimir Putin. Now THERE'S a guy who thinks peace is for pussies. As for other violent upstarts like OWS and more recently the rebel takeover in Syria, they got stuff done I guess but the world now looks down on them and ultimately it's brought far more harm than good to their own respective causes.

MLK, Rosa Parks, Mark Twain, Mahatma Gandhi, Harvey Milk, Thich Quang Duc, Nelson Mandela, ALL of these people stood up to the ingrained cultural wrongs of their time, and all of them made a huge difference in their lifetime. And not all of them were punished for it, you know. Many of them are martyrs, yes, but the thousands of people that rallied around them are what made the difference. 

It takes a brave man to act peaceful in the face of adversity. Any coward can act out in violence.


----------



## EmmaFrost

I opened this thread to share something, but reading the last two pages annoyed me so much that I don't want to anymore.

I hope that when and if the group is created, it runs smoother than this thread. Meaning there's a general ****ing understanding of the difference between institutional oppression vs. straight people getting their feelings hurt for two seconds on the internet and then carrying on with life in a society that has always and will always recognize their romantic/sexual relationships as valid.

But it won't. Because imagine that.


----------



## Sir Takoya

Illyana said:


> I opened this thread to share something, but reading the last two pages annoyed me so much that I don't want to anymore.
> 
> I hope that when and if the group is created, it runs smoother than this thread. Meaning there's a general ****ing understanding of the difference between institutional oppression vs. straight people getting their feelings hurt for two seconds on the internet and then carrying on with life in a society that has always and will always recognize their romantic/sexual relationships as valid.
> 
> But it won't. Because imagine that.



I don't have the TBT or the time to run a group.


----------



## EmmaFrost

Sir Takoya said:


> I don't have the TBT or the time to run a group.


One was purchased from the shop by another member.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Ummm. What have I missed? O.O


----------



## Gizmodo

Oh god more arguments


----------



## LadyVivia

Woah, going through the last 2 pages, Oi...


----------



## Gizmodo

Eurgh it just makes me so lucky my parents are supportive of my transition


----------



## Marii

Fearthecuteness said:


> Ummm. What have I missed? O.O



this

wow I'm so confused xD I didn't see this argument coming

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> Eurgh it just makes me so lucky my parents are supportive of my transition


;_; Even though it's kind of different, I could probably never tell my family I'm bi... They're pretty religious... u_u Only my two cousins around my age know, lol.
(I've only ever had boyfriends anyway... :S there are mostly only straight girls near me)

may I ask, mtf or ftm?


----------



## Gizmodo

Look i get both sides of the debate i really do
But as a t-girl its mentally exhausting, to fight hate with more hate, i don't want to do that.. I want to show them just how bad they are looking.. i'm not going to retaliate, on how i hate cis people or whatever.. because i don't hate cis people, i don't dislike them, i love Cis people, most have been so supportive of me, and as i've said before, i've found it harder to mix with other trans people to be perfectly honest. I hate those who opress me, yes they are nearly all the time, Cis, but lets be honest, i've heard gay people say transphobic comments aswell.. Yes i know they aren't the ones in the authority, but they still do. At the end of the day i'll always say it, and i KNOW i'm in the minority. But the constant hating on cis people (though i dont see why they should be offended because get over it, we face hate in real life) is just not productive, and only makes lots of people see us as envious people who are just jealous of cis people.. and therefore shout out at them
Target those who specifically opress people, target those people you hear make a nasty comment, if you do, do it. But most of the time these social justice warriors on tumblr do **** all, apart from moan on tumblr and spread hate. Yes of course i understand life is hell, BUT theres just no need for it, stand up when you need to stand up for people. The other day i defended a gay person against another, but i certainly dont feel the need to constantly go on about my cause, i am who i am, that is that, if i heard an awful comment i would, but other than that no.  Though i am somewhat in a more benefical situation due to beginning everything young, and being able to pass
My views could change, when everyone knows and i do recieve hate though
I just think through peaceful protesting, and through showing people that we are just as normal as them, we are the same, and we are loveful human beings, thats the best way to go
Just how theres that awful view that Lesbians are just "man haters" i dont want it to end up where its trans people are just cis haters and bitter and envious people
I dont know if what i've said makes sense really, and i know loads dont agree with me, but thats it.


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Look i get both sides of the debate i really do
> But as a t-girl its mentally exhausting, to fight hate with more hate, i don't want to do that.. I want to show them just how bad they are looking.. i'm not going to retaliate, on how i hate cis people or whatever.. because i don't hate cis people, i don't dislike them, i love Cis people, most have been so supportive of me, and as i've said before, i've found it harder to mix with other trans people to be perfectly honest. I hate those who opress me, yes they are nearly all the time, Cis, but lets be honest, i've heard gay people say transphobic comments aswell.. Yes i know they aren't the ones in the authority, but they still do. At the end of the day i'll always say it, and i KNOW i'm in the minority. But the constant hating on cis people (though i dont see why they should be offended because get over it, we face hate in real life) is just not productive, and only makes lots of people see us as envious people who are just jealous of cis people.. and therefore shout out at them
> Target those who specifically opress people, target those people you hear make a nasty comment, if you do, do it. But most of the time these social justice warriors on tumblr do **** all, apart from moan on tumblr and spread hate. Yes of course i understand life is hell, BUT theres just no need for it, stand up when you need to stand up for people. The other day i defended a gay person against another, but i certainly dont feel the need to constantly go on about my cause, i am who i am, that is that, if i heard an awful comment i would, but other than that no.  Though i am somewhat in a more benefical situation due to beginning everything young, and being able to pass
> My views could change, when everyone knows and i do recieve hate though
> I just think through peaceful protesting, and through showing people that we are just as normal as them, we are the same, and we are loveful human beings, thats the best way to go
> Just how theres that awful view that Lesbians are just "man haters" i dont want it to end up where its trans people are just cis haters and bitter and envious people
> I dont know if what i've said makes sense really, and i know loads dont agree with me, but thats it.




ah i understand. idk most ? people venting about cis people are teenagers and they cant really do any real life activism if theyre living in a dangerous situation. they might run 101 blogs or safespaces for trans people so i dont think thats bad. online activism is just as helpful as real life. hey, without online activism i probably wouldve never known anything i know today. and idk i am bitter towards cis people sometimes but thats mostly only when im upset and i just say cis people in general instead of my friends or family. all the cis people i know in real life are rude to me and dont understand like anything at all. i cant really explain it but i do stop them from being homophobic or saying silly things. but when it comes to telling them to stop being cissexist or transphobic its like way harder because trans people get no coverage. they don't understand the idea. its just so frustrating for me. its great that you have supporting cis people in your life, but not everyone has the same opportunity as you.




Amykins said:


> That is a very, VERY dangerous way of thinking. Know who else probably thinks like that? Vladimir Putin. Now THERE'S a guy who thinks peace is for pussies. As for other violent upstarts like OWS and more recently the rebel takeover in Syria, they got stuff done I guess but the world now looks down on them and ultimately it's brought far more harm than good to their own respective causes.
> 
> MLK, Rosa Parks, Mark Twain, Mahatma Gandhi, Harvey Milk, Thich Quang Duc, Nelson Mandela, ALL of these people stood up to the ingrained cultural wrongs of their time, and all of them made a huge difference in their lifetime. And not all of them were punished for it, you know. Many of them are martyrs, yes, but the thousands of people that rallied around them are what made the difference.
> 
> It takes a brave man to act peaceful in the face of adversity. Any coward can act out in violence.



im not saying we should go out and attack them but im saying. like im not going to say "hey you, thats really offensive, but you're not a bad person so dont feel bad" ??? or like im just so annoyed of activism that reminds the oppressors that theyre not THAT bad. or when people tell us if we were just really peaceful it would work. it doesnt. we can speak with words but they wont be pleasant is what im trying to say. when i want to call out a group im not going to comfort them and try not to hurt their feelings - im going to be hard about it because its the truth.


----------



## Amykins

Illyana said:


> I opened this thread to share something, but reading the last two pages annoyed me so much that I don't want to anymore.
> 
> I hope that when and if the group is created, it runs smoother than this thread. Meaning there's a general ****ing understanding of the difference between institutional oppression vs. straight people getting their feelings hurt for two seconds on the internet and then carrying on with life in a society that has always and will always recognize their romantic/sexual relationships as valid.
> 
> But it won't. Because imagine that.



Kinda hope this isn't aimed at me, because if standing up for civil rights and specifically mentioning Harvey Milk while doing so is enough to get reprimanded for it, then...I don't even know how that makes me feel. :/


----------



## Marii

tsundere said:


> ah i understand. idk most ? people venting about cis people are teenagers and they cant really do any real life activism if theyre living in a dangerous situation. they might run 101 blogs or safespaces for trans people so i dont think thats bad. online activism is just as helpful as real life. hey, without online activism i probably wouldve never known anything i know today. and idk i am bitter towards cis people sometimes but thats mostly only when im upset and i just say cis people in general instead of my friends or family. all the cis people i know in real life are rude to me and dont understand like anything at all. i cant really explain it but i do stop them from being homophobic or saying silly things. but when it comes to telling them to stop being cissexist or transphobic its like way harder because trans people get no coverage. they don't understand the idea. its just so frustrating for me. its great that you have supporting cis people in your life, but not everyone has the same opportunity as you.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> im not saying we should go out and attack them but im saying. like im not going to say "hey you, thats really offensive, but you're not a bad person so dont feel bad" ??? or like im just so annoyed of activism that reminds the oppressors that theyre not THAT bad. or when people tell us if we were just really peaceful it would work. it doesnt. we can speak with words but they wont be pleasant is what im trying to say. when i want to call out a group im not going to comfort them and try not to hurt their feelings - im going to be hard about it because its the truth.



I think you're maybe being a little too pessimistic. Maybe it doesn't seem to be doing much right now, but I think it'll work in the future. To a lot of cis people, these concepts are slowly and gradually becoming more accepted. It took centuries to end African slavery in the US, so... I just don't think this problem is getting any worse as a whole, lol.


----------



## radical6

Marii said:


> I think you're maybe being a little too pessimistic. Maybe it doesn't seem to be doing much right now, but I think it'll work in the future. To a lot of cis people, these concepts are slowly and gradually becoming more accepted. It took centuries to end African slavery in the US, so... I just don't think this problem is getting any worse as a whole, lol.



its not getting worse but its not getting better. for gay and lesbian people its gotten a bit better with more acceptance, but trans people and the rest of the LGBT+ are still in the shadows. not too sure about bisexuals/pansexuals because there is a lot of biphobia in the gay and lesbian community. that and theyre still rejected by straight people but back to the point, trans people have always been working for activism but its just now that theyre starting to get recognized for it. honestly i dont get how these concepts are hard for cis people but i guess we pushed this binary on everyone for so long its weird for them. like cis people have a hard time using new pronouns for someone but when they assume your dog is a guy and you say its a girl they go "oh sorry" and quickly use female pronouns. why is it so different for trans people? i dont expect trans people to quickly become accepted next year when gay people still arent accepted everywhere, but if we could have the same activism as gay people have it would be cool.


----------



## Marii

tsundere said:


> its not getting worse but its not getting better. for gay and lesbian people its gotten a bit better with more acceptance, but trans people and the rest of the LGBT+ are still in the shadows. not too sure about bisexuals/pansexuals because there is a lot of biphobia in the gay and lesbian community. that and theyre still rejected by straight people but back to the point, trans people have always been working for activism but its just now that theyre starting to get recognized for it. honestly i dont get how these concepts are hard for cis people but i guess we pushed this binary on everyone for so long its weird for them. like cis people have a hard time using new pronouns for someone but when they assume your dog is a guy and you say its a girl they go "oh sorry" and quickly use female pronouns. why is it so different for trans people? i dont expect trans people to quickly become accepted next year when gay people still arent accepted everywhere, but if we could have the same activism as gay people have it would be cool.



Well, unless you're staring at a dog's belly, it's harder to tell if another kind of animal is male or female. We humans tend to notice the more obvious differences in appearance, and it's kind of 'default' to assume something based on someone's outer appearances, until you learn that their gender identity is different from what they look like they are. For some people, it's hard to adjust to the person's preferred pronoun because of their mental concept/framework of what people of certain genders look like.
...Regarding trans activism being recognized, I still think that it's SOME sort of progress. I believe it'll get somewhere eventually, but you are making it seem like you think things won't ever get better.


----------



## Gizmodo

But Tsundere, equally just because you have experienced a lot of people making nasty comments, does not mean that it is as bad as you are making it out to be, just as because ive had a lot of support, does not mean its easy
Yes theres bigots, but we are making progress, i mean hell, look at the women making progress in the media! not so long ago all we would see is people on Jerry Springer ripping a trans womans hair out and calling her a man
Just as the LGB, is gaining more acceptance, so will everything else, it will just take time
which is why a postivie attitude needs to be employed imo, we all already face enough negativity, through our problems, so we dont need more to worry about imo
now theres Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Carmen Carrera, Kim Petras


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> But Tsundere, equally just because you have experienced a lot of people making nasty comments, does not mean that it is as bad as you are making it out to be, just as because ive had a lot of support, does not mean its easy
> Yes theres bigots, but we are making progress, i mean hell, look at the women making progress in the media! not so long ago all we would see is people on Jerry Springer ripping a trans womans hair out and calling her a man
> Just as the LGB, is gaining more acceptance, so will everything else, it will just take time
> which is why a postivie attitude needs to be employed imo, we all already face enough negativity, through our problems, so we dont need more to worry about imo
> now theres Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Carmen Carrera, Kim Petras



im trying to say is that their venting is justified. i dont look at things optimistically like other people but i have seen so many trans people on tumblr upset and crying about their life and transphobia. i dont expect other trans people to be all cheery about it either. hey im pretty happy that we have lovely ladies like janet mox and carmen carrera. im glad we have a trans woman of color on a tv show played by a real trans woman of color. thats great! i know good things are happening, and its amazing. but i wish i saw more. for every story about a trans person doing something great theres like 3 stories that are transphobic. i wish i could look on the bright side but thats pretty much not my character because outside of sj issues i dont look on the bright side either lol.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Ok this has been too much. Let me know when this arguement is over.


----------



## Flop

LGBTQA-  Discussion and Support Arguments and Contradictory Statements

This is why I don't post much here, as I don't want an argument to start.


----------



## EmmaFrost

Amykins said:


> Kinda hope this isn't aimed at me, because if standing up for civil rights and specifically mentioning Harvey Milk while doing so is enough to get reprimanded for it, then...I don't even know how that makes me feel. :/


Uh, no, it wasn't aimed at you.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, today is International Transgender Day of Visibility c:


----------



## radical6

the argument ended like yesterday and i was just discusing with gizmodo wtf



Illyana said:


> Also, today is International Transgender Day of Visibility c:


woohoo!


----------



## Gizmodo

Illyana said:


> Uh, no, it wasn't aimed at you.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also, today is International Transgender Day of Visibility c:



And as the T i didnt even know :c


----------



## Gabby

I AM A BISEXUAL

WE NEED SUPPORT


GO BI'S


----------



## Marii

Gabby said:


> I AM A BISEXUAL
> 
> WE NEED SUPPORT
> 
> 
> GO BI'S



yeah girlll

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gabby said:


> I AM A BISEXUAL
> 
> WE NEED SUPPORT
> 
> 
> GO BI'S



yeah girlll


----------



## unravel

Gabby said:


> I AM A BISEXUAL
> 
> WE NEED SUPPORT
> 
> GO BI'S



My friend is BI and she fall in love with me (whut). Meh doesn't matter she is my close friend. No, I'm not BI.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I was goofing off for fun in net and a lot of my internet friends think I'm a guy huehuehue. I also goof off that i fall inlove a guy/girl while in game like dota and they think I'm BI LOOOL


----------



## Jas0n

Gabby said:


> I AM A BISEXUAL
> 
> WE NEED SUPPORT
> 
> 
> GO BI'S



Oh Gabby. You are wonderful.


----------



## Chiarasu

-vent- I was being friendly to this girl at our orientation week in our workplace and now she avoids me like the plague (probably thought I was making a crack onto her- I'm les but I don't go dating straight girls -.-) We had to get paired up two times for self-defense and also I showed her a bird enclosure I visit when I have spare time because we were near the area and she probably thinks I'm an avian-obsessed creep as well. Great way to start a new job. -headdesk-


----------



## unravel

Gay people are awesome (In a good way) because they are fun to talk with so better not judge them. This is why its fun to have gay friends


----------



## Jeremy

ITookYourWaffles said:


> Gay people are awesome (In a good way) because they are fun to talk with so better not judge them. This is why its fun to have gay friends



I can't tell if this is a joke or not.


----------



## Farobi

ITookYourWaffles said:


> Gay people are awesome (In a good way)



what

 (talking about the redundancy btw)


----------



## unravel

Jeremy said:


> I can't tell if this is a joke or not.



This is not a joke Jeremy I'm serious about this.


----------



## oath2order

Jeremy said:


> I can't tell if this is a joke or not.



For some reason I thought Jas0n posted this.

My only question: How do you be awesome in a bad way?


----------



## Gandalf

I guess it kind of works like being wicked in a good way?


----------



## unravel

Guys I made friends and I do not care if they are lesbian. gay etc. I accept people who they are. why do you guys think in a negative way?


----------



## Sir Takoya

I like guys and I'm proud of it. :3


----------



## radical6

ITookYourWaffles said:


> Guys I made friends and I do not care if they are lesbian. gay etc. I accept people who they are. why do you guys think in a negative way?


i guess bc it sounds like ur fetishlizing queer people??


----------



## Marii

ITookYourWaffles said:


> Guys I made friends and I do not care if they are lesbian. gay etc. I accept people who they are. why do you guys think in a negative way?



well, like you said, they shouldn't be judged, yeah, but not because they're "fun to talk to"... because they're actual people who deserve equal rights?? just like you straight people??


----------



## Jake

Waffles it is ok I still love u!!!


----------



## Gizmodo

2 friends now know and are completely supportive =]]


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> 2 friends now know and are completely supportive =]]


omg im happy for you! the friend i trusted almost outed me to everyone for like no reason and she didnt understand why i was mad....


----------



## Gizmodo

Ugh thats awful, that nearly happened with a school councillor once :x
lol one of them was like you're so lucky you'll look better than me xDD you're only 5ft5, and no hair or anything, and a really cute voice, bless them
Not looking forward to many other people knowing though :x


----------



## Zeiro

two of my friends pressured me into coming out and then one of them told a third friend today was not a good day


----------



## Jake

Reizo said:


> two of my friends pressured me into coming out and then one of them told a third friend today was not a good day



i am here for u


----------



## Gizmodo

Reizo said:


> two of my friends pressured me into coming out and then one of them told a third friend today was not a good day



That sucks


----------



## radical6

Reizo said:


> two of my friends pressured me into coming out and then one of them told a third friend today was not a good day



ewww!!! why do people feel like they can out someone? like i see so many people out their gay friends because they think its funny or they want to say that they know a gay person. im sorry that happened to you


----------



## Syd

i'm a lesbian and 2 be honest none of my friends could care less so I mean if your friends are bothered by your sexuality then you need to get rid of them friends.


----------



## Gizmodo

Syd said:


> i'm a lesbian and 2 be honest none of my friends could care less so I mean if your friends are bothered by your sexuality then you need to get rid of them friends.



Awww thats good
the 2 of mine who know about me so far are accepting but i know loads wont and ugh if i didnt have to go to sixth form and see them i wouldnt be bothered i just hope they dont do bigoted comments


----------



## KingofHearts

Sir Takoya said:


> I like guys and I'm proud of it. :3



This :>


----------



## Monobear

I'm asexual woo woo

Unfortunately I think I may be aromantic as well, but I'm crossing my fingers and hoping not. Gender is irrelevant to me, I'm attracted to personality. Though I've noticed that with video game characters I do really like the strong, female types...


----------



## oak

I half live at my parents house (closer to work) & half live with my boyfriend Elliott's family (mom + 9 year old brother). I learned a few days ago that Elliott's dad (who lives else where) is gonna try & take custody of his little brother cause he thinks it's a bad environment to be around me & my boyfriend. Me & my boyfriend are ftm transgender (we live stealth, meaning we usually do not tell people we are trans) and his dad somehow thinks we're gonna corrupt his young mind & make him gay? Idk. I couldn't believe the story when I heard it. He plans to take my boyfriend's mom to court, all because he doesn't think a young kid should be raised around "our kind of people". 

I know no judge in their right mind would grant him custody, but I feel guilty cause if I just lived at home fully, there wouldn't be this issue. I don't wanna cause issues for my boyfriend's family, but then I don't want his dad to win. He hates when I come over & sleep in the same bed as Elliott. When we first started dating, he was like "YOU GUYS CAN'T HUG OR KISS IN FRONT OF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, THAT'S JUST WRONG". Gah I just, idk why he's so filled with anger towards us. 

I feel like bawling my eyes out every time I think about the situation??


----------



## Sir Takoya

KingofHearts said:


> This :>



Wow. Someone finally responds to what I say. xD

- - - Post Merge - - -



noahmeow said:


> I half live at my parents house (closer to work) & half live with my boyfriend Elliott's family (mom + 9 year old brother). I learned a few days ago that Elliott's dad (who lives else where) is gonna try & take custody of his little brother cause he thinks it's a bad environment to be around me & my boyfriend. Me & my boyfriend are ftm transgender (we live stealth, meaning we usually do not tell people we are trans) and his dad somehow thinks we're gonna corrupt his young mind & make him gay? Idk. I couldn't believe the story when I heard it. He plans to take my boyfriend's mom to court, all because he doesn't think a young kid should be raised around "our kind of people".
> 
> I know no judge in their right mind would grant him custody, but I feel guilty cause if I just lived at home fully, there wouldn't be this issue. I don't wanna cause issues for my boyfriend's family, but then I don't want his dad to win. He hates when I come over & sleep in the same bed as Elliott. When we first started dating, he was like "YOU GUYS CAN'T HUG OR KISS IN FRONT OF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, THAT'S JUST WRONG". Gah I just, idk why he's so filled with anger towards us.
> 
> I feel like bawling my eyes out every time I think about the situation??



wth. What a homophob.


----------



## radical6

noahmeow said:


> I half live at my parents house (closer to work) & half live with my boyfriend Elliott's family (mom + 9 year old brother). I learned a few days ago that Elliott's dad (who lives else where) is gonna try & take custody of his little brother cause he thinks it's a bad environment to be around me & my boyfriend. Me & my boyfriend are ftm transgender (we live stealth, meaning we usually do not tell people we are trans) and his dad somehow thinks we're gonna corrupt his young mind & make him gay? Idk. I couldn't believe the story when I heard it. He plans to take my boyfriend's mom to court, all because he doesn't think a young kid should be raised around "our kind of people".
> 
> I know no judge in their right mind would grant him custody, but I feel guilty cause if I just lived at home fully, there wouldn't be this issue. I don't wanna cause issues for my boyfriend's family, but then I don't want his dad to win. He hates when I come over & sleep in the same bed as Elliott. When we first started dating, he was like "YOU GUYS CAN'T HUG OR KISS IN FRONT OF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, THAT'S JUST WRONG". Gah I just, idk why he's so filled with anger towards us.
> 
> I feel like bawling my eyes out every time I think about the situation??



omg thats terrible im so sorry ):
i hope that he doesnt win..this is silly. and what if the kid decides hes not straight? who cares? its so silly how people think that kids will grow up to be one of "them" if they hang out with queer people. theyre fine with pushing labels on their kids and say they must be straight and cis, and then react terribly to the idea of their child being queer. or even having queer friends. i hope this kid stays with you guys because this is terrible. you two arent doing anything to him... 

ugh i remember seeing a case where these grandparents took their daughters child with them because she was married to a trans guy. it was terrible.


----------



## Zeiro

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/legally-recognize-non-binary-genders/j5KvDVvh


----------



## radical6

Reizo said:


> https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/legally-recognize-non-binary-genders/j5KvDVvh


i signed the first one but yeah it failed
though ive changed my mind on it a bit. i mean yeah im nb and i should be all excited about it but after reading some posts from other nb people ive kinda learned the downsides of it. i cant really sum it up well but they basically said that if the government knew we were nb we would probably just face more hardships?? idk. i mean its cool if other nb people wanna sign it but its mostly irrelevant to me because i dont really have an ID for anything


----------



## oath2order

All that Tumblr post reads to me is: Are these Tumblr nb people ever going to be happy? Like, seriously, it looks like they're trying to constantly find something else to complain about. First it's "the government won't recognize us." Now that people are taking steps to get the government to recognize them, they don't want it???


----------



## Coolio15

noahmeow said:


> I half live at my parents house (closer to work) & half live with my boyfriend Elliott's family (mom + 9 year old brother). I learned a few days ago that Elliott's dad (who lives else where) is gonna try & take custody of his little brother cause he thinks it's a bad environment to be around me & my boyfriend. Me & my boyfriend are ftm transgender (we live stealth, meaning we usually do not tell people we are trans) and his dad somehow thinks we're gonna corrupt his young mind & make him gay? Idk. I couldn't believe the story when I heard it. He plans to take my boyfriend's mom to court, all because he doesn't think a young kid should be raised around "our kind of people".
> 
> I know no judge in their right mind would grant him custody, but I feel guilty cause if I just lived at home fully, there wouldn't be this issue. I don't wanna cause issues for my boyfriend's family, but then I don't want his dad to win. He hates when I come over & sleep in the same bed as Elliott. When we first started dating, he was like "YOU GUYS CAN'T HUG OR KISS IN FRONT OF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, THAT'S JUST WRONG". Gah I just, idk why he's so filled with anger towards us.
> 
> I feel like bawling my eyes out every time I think about the situation??


I'm honestly so over people who do stuff like that. Imo you should just keeping half-living with your boyfriend because then his little brother can actually grow up being MORE educated about the topic instead of being corrupted that anyone who isn't straight is unholy and disgusting. Haters are gonna hate, but whats most important is what you want and think


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> All that Tumblr post reads to me is: Are these Tumblr nb people ever going to be happy? Like, seriously, it looks like they're trying to constantly find something else to complain about. First it's "the government won't recognize us." Now that people are taking steps to get the government to recognize them, they don't want it???



idk im split on it because like..even if there was an option i wouldnt be able to use it? and other nb people like they said wouldnt use it anyway because that could put them in more trouble

and most of nb people want it. its just that some dont like it. its very few that are against it

like idk . some dont like government and some do. i think the ones against it want more awareness of nb people, but they dont want it like this basically? because they dont trust the government for good reasons. theres more posts about it on their blog buuut yeah.


----------



## Marii

I seriously can't believe my eyes right now... I'm talking to my friend who doesn't believe in NB gender, and she's a MTF trans... I can't believe she can't understand how NB people feel. NB and trans are practically in the same boat, anyway... (non-cis)
She thinks NB is just "a bunch of teenagers who think they're some sort of special gender/sexuality", and that "people just need to live their lives and stop being insulted by EVERYTHING, and trying to change official rules to suit them"

I really am having a hard time even typing this right now
I just
how


----------



## radical6

Marii said:


> I seriously can't believe my eyes right now... I'm talking to my friend who doesn't believe in NB gender, and she's a MTF trans... I can't believe she can't understand how NB people feel. NB and trans are practically in the same boat, anyway... (non-cis)
> She thinks NB is just "a bunch of teenagers who think they're some sort of special gender/sexuality", and that "people just need to live their lives and stop being insulted by EVERYTHING, and trying to change official rules to suit them"
> 
> I really am having a hard time even typing this right now
> I just
> how



awww. i dont know trans women who act like that because its mostly trans men who think non binary people are "special snowflakes" so theyre usually called truscum.

but nonbinary people have existed for ages and its sad to see other trans people pushing us down. i do get sad whenever i see truscum put down other trans people. ive seen trans men attack other (and usually younger) trans men because they dont "look trans". its really a shame :/ these people think they can dictate other peoples genders and say that theyre not trans and that theyre just confused or theyre doing it for attention. trans people shouldnt be putting each other down, they should stand together. but yeah your friend is pretty rude


----------



## Gizmodo

Tbh i dont think Trans and Nonbinary are similar whatsoever really..
Personally, i plan to live in stealth as i should be able to pass without anyone ever knowing, therefore i fit into societies gender binary just fine, with no questions asked
I'm trans, and completely understanding of Nonbinary people but i still need so many terms explaining to me, as im just ignorant on the topic and know nothing, so dont really understand it? id love to be more informed 
Also my assessment report came it said im 100% DSRM 5 lol, and i need to get my tests done asap
Your friend is ridiculous though, passing judgement when we face so much


----------



## Marii

Gizmodo said:


> Tbh i dont think Trans and Nonbinary are similar whatsoever really..
> 
> Your friend is ridiculous though, passing judgement when we face so much



1. they're pretty much just both non-cis, so that's what I meant by being in the same boat

2. "we"? my friend is trans as well

- - - Post Merge - - -

what is DSRM 5 o.o


----------



## Gizmodo

Marii said:


> 1. they're pretty much just both non-cis, so that's what I meant by being in the same boat
> 
> 2. "we"? my friend is trans as well
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> what is DSRM 5 o.o



We? was implying your friend, i was saying she should understand as we all (the trans community) face judgement
I know what you mean, but i think in a way especially for trans people who pass, its easier to integrate into society as ill just live as a straight woman, whilst non binary people are always going to have that difficulty of not fully fitting in, asi ts just not understanded, and they cant live in stealth
And its like the highest classification of feeling Trans.. bit silly but still it helps me get treatment much quicker so whatever


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Tbh i dont think Trans and Nonbinary are similar whatsoever really..
> Personally, i plan to live in stealth as i should be able to pass without anyone ever knowing, therefore i fit into societies gender binary just fine, with no questions asked
> I'm trans, and completely understanding of Nonbinary people but i still need so many terms explaining to me, as im just ignorant on the topic and know nothing, so dont really understand it? id love to be more informed
> Also my assessment report came it said im 100% DSRM 5 lol, and i need to get my tests done asap
> Your friend is ridiculous though, passing judgement when we face so much



Wait...did you go chick or bro? I'm going to assume you went chick.

I've always been female...I think everyone thought I was male in this thread until I uploaded the chibi...hehe.


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> Wait...did you go chick or bro? I'm going to assume you went chick.
> 
> I've always been female...I think everyone thought I was male in this thread until I uploaded the chibi...hehe.



Bingoo
I'm only 16, and only 5"5, and my voice hasnt broken or anything, so im doing gooood


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Bingoo
> I'm only 16, and only 5"5, and my voice hasnt broken or anything, so im doing gooood



If you're shorter than me, I don't think anyone's ever going to notice.


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> If you're shorter than me, I don't think anyone's ever going to notice.



Honestly i got mistaken as a girl sometimes when i had short hair and dressed completely boy mode xDD


----------



## Sir Takoya

In a way I kinda feel gay (attracted to guys), since I am mentally a guy myself. It feels odd, but normal at the same time. My parents don't even know if I'm straight or les because I've never been on a date. I think they may think I'm les, boy are they in for a shock when they find out I'm gay!

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> Honestly i got mistaken as a girl sometimes when i had short hair and dressed completely boy mode xDD



Ummm...they didn't see the no boobs? Come on. Everyone looks down...


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> In a way I kinda feel gay (attracted to guys), since I am mentally a guy myself. It feels odd, but normal at the same time. My parents don't even know if I'm straight or les because I've never been on a date. I think they may think I'm les, boy are they in for a shock when they find out I'm gay!
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Ummm...they didn't see the no boobs? Come on. Everyone looks down...



Well when i was like 11 (when i had short hair) must dont have boobs then anyway LOL


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Well when i was like 11 (when i had short hair) must dont have boobs then anyway LOL



I did. They're a pain to hide, even with a sports bra.

"Mom, what's happening to my chest?"
o.o


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> I did. They're a pain to hide, even with a sports bra.
> 
> "Mom, what's happening to my chest?"
> o.o



Unlucky.. most of my friends were very late developers eg 14/15


----------



## oak

Coolio15 said:


> I'm honestly so over people who do stuff like that. Imo you should just keeping half-living with your boyfriend because then his little brother can actually grow up being MORE educated about the topic instead of being corrupted that anyone who isn't straight is unholy and disgusting. Haters are gonna hate, but whats most important is what you want and think


My boyfriend's little brother is very accepting luckily. He's never struggled with the idea of transgender or being gay. But you're right, I should keep staying at my boyfriend's house just to piss his dad off heheh. I'm kinda thinking he's just threatening the family, he must know the judge would never side with him.


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Unlucky.. most of my friends were very late developers eg 14/15



I wonder what they'd call my type. xD As for my prefs.


----------



## radical6

just as a heads up just in case you guys are confused about nonbinary genders, we fall under the trans label! trans is an umbrella term, if you want to be specific meaning you want to talk about binary trans people (trans men and trans women) then you go ahead and say trans man and trans woman. so you dont need to say non-cis when referring to us. 

my therapist was going to give me antidepressants but she really doesnt want to. i told her i was nb and she said that if i started to transition and come out it would help with my depression? so she said were gonna try that first before the meds. im pretty excited because shes gonna help me with everything and yeah


----------



## Gizmodo

Also people take the mockery out of non binary people soo badly...
Like that example Mari showed
i really hope they will get recognition and acceptance, but i just doubt it atm.. i really do.. theres no awareness, i havent heard of a high profile person, ive heard the issue mentioned like twice in my life and people are just like wtf
It's sad


----------



## Zeiro

i really like that new gender option on facebook

you can even select which pronouns you prefer


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Also people take the mockery out of non binary people soo badly...
> Like that example Mari showed
> i really hope they will get recognition and acceptance, but i just doubt it atm.. i really do.. theres no awareness, i havent heard of a high profile person, ive heard the issue mentioned like twice in my life and people are just like wtf
> It's sad



i think the highest recognition we got was when facebook allowed us to put nonbinary options for our gender. then fox news did a report on it and mocked us on air soooooo

and yeah ive never heard of a famous nb person :/ and people kinda understand what binary trans people are but when i mention a gender outside the binary? nope. they cant begin to understand the concept. like its not hard to accept that there are more than 2 genders! wow!


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Also people take the mockery out of non binary people soo badly...
> Like that example Mari showed
> i really hope they will get recognition and acceptance, but i just doubt it atm.. i really do.. theres no awareness, i havent heard of a high profile person, ive heard the issue mentioned like twice in my life and people are just like wtf
> It's sad



Ohhhhhh so now I know what to call myself. (Sorta). I'd probably fall with in the androgynous category since I won't change my gender.
I've never had that many problems before. I usually stick to all black and occasional blue jeans during the wintertime and I think that scares most people off. I think I look tough. I did have some people in my class walk by and say. "*** I like your hair." "Yeah, you look really pretty." I have short hair and I know it wasn't a compliment. I should have pulled a false lesbian on them or something, instead I just said they had nice a**, even though I'm not attracted to girls.


----------



## Gizmodo

Um yeah i saw so many facebook rants about it
and honestly ill face discrimination but a lot of people are being so supportive of me, but if i said i didnt fit into either gender i can guarantee everyone would say wtf no just stop, eventhough all my family is so open.. on nearly every issue
Also i dont get why the pronouns bother people, is it really that hard to use a different pronoun that makes someone comfortable? its not like non binary people are that big of the population.. if you have to change your usage a few times, so what, just do it!


----------



## Sir Takoya

This is how the media acts to non-binary/lesbian/gay/trans


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Um yeah i saw so many facebook rants about it
> and honestly ill face discrimination but a lot of people are being so supportive of me, but if i said i didnt fit into either gender i can guarantee everyone would say wtf no just stop, eventhough all my family is so open.. on nearly every issue
> Also i dont get why the pronouns bother people, is it really that hard to use a different pronoun that makes someone comfortable? its not like non binary people are that big of the population.. if you have to change your usage a few times, so what, just do it!



dont understand why people would rant about it if it doesnt effect them smh
people just have such a hard time using pronouns for people. heck they have a hard time even using they/them for people! if you cant get our pronouns right then you might as well avoid pronouns all together and just use our name whenever you speak. also i dont understand people who go (s)he or whatever. because it sounds like theyre saying "ok you're either a girl or a boy" just use they/them?? people would go (s)he for me im like ummmm they/them is so much easier for me use that instead please. its not hard to remember peoples pronouns. i still get misgendered on the forums even though my sig says they/them but i dont like making a fuss about it but it does annoy me so much. it annoys me even more when my friends misgender me. and just?? ive known them for a while and they have known about my pronouns and they STILL mess up. they messed up last night when we were on a skype call. they usually dont mess up when typing but i guess it flies through their heads when we're talking and just. it makes me so upset /endrant


----------



## Syd

an update:
my friend told a bunch of people i'm a lesbian, no longer friends and i hate them


----------



## radical6

Syd said:


> an update:
> my friend told a bunch of people i'm a lesbian, no longer friends and i hate them



awwwww im so sorry ): 
why are people outing people nowadays???? why do they think its okay??? 
i remember seeing a tumblr post with this girl who outted her gay friends because it was "funny" and "THEY MIGHTVE HAD SEX TOGETHER1!11!!" and it had like 100k+ notes and i was so angry


----------



## Syd

!!
i just got a text from the same kid and they said that i should change my gender because gays/lesbians aren't good and that it's a set rule that boys have to date girls.


----------



## radical6

Syd said:


> !!
> i just got a text from the same kid and they said that i should change my gender because gays/lesbians aren't good and that it's a set rule that boys have to date girls.



jesus christ thats so sick. if i were you i probably wouldve punched them if i saw them... homophobes are nasty. did you know they were homophobic? i would hate it if one of my friends turned out to be transphobic out of no where. it would hurt a lot because like..the whole time they thought you were wrong and bad and ugh


----------



## Marii

ugh... @ that kid... show me these "rules" of yours, and if you say the Bible, I'm going to flip -_-
I seriously can't understand some people, lol...


----------



## Syd

tsundere said:


> jesus christ thats so sick. if i were you i probably wouldve punched them if i saw them... homophobes are nasty. did you know they were homophobic? i would hate it if one of my friends turned out to be transphobic out of no where. it would hurt a lot because like..the whole time they thought you were wrong and bad and ugh



no i didn't know. i'm kind of surprised and next time i see him i will make him cry.


----------



## Zeiro

now that my three main friends know, they keep pairing me with random guys and then laughing about it... like no, it's not even funny and i am not comfortable with it at all


----------



## Jake

Reizo said:


> now that my three main friends know, they keep pairing me with random guys and then laughing about it... like no, it's not even funny and i am not comfortable with it at all



that is why. you should. be. paired. with. me.


----------



## Zeiro

Jake. said:


> that is why. you should. be. paired. with. me.


jake you make me more uncomfortable than they do with statements like that, you have no room to talk


----------



## Sir Takoya

Ummm...All I wanted was a laugh and another argument starts. I don't think anyone saw the video.


----------



## Sir Takoya

This thread is dying


----------



## radical6

Sir Takoya said:


> This thread is dying



not really. before it wasnt too active until now

sorry to hear about the crappy things happening to you reizo. i would tell them to back off?? you deserve your personal space and they shouldnt be joking about that. they wouldnt be joking about it if you were straight so why are they doing it now?


----------



## Sir Takoya

Sir Takoya said:


> This is how the media acts to non-binary/lesbian/gay/trans



Everyone missed my comment. I wanted to get some giggles going.


----------



## Big Forum User

Day of Silence is on Friday! I'm doing it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'll try anyway.


----------



## radical6

Big Forum User said:


> Day of Silence is on Friday! I'm doing it.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> I'll try anyway.




day of silence is a good effort..idk. i feel like being silent wont really help y'know? i havent heard of it until now and i mean if i did it during school it would be kinda making a statement but at the same time we're often told to be quiet. so. idk i cant explain my thoughts well on it but like i feel like instead of being quiet for a day we could speak up instead. i think if we did protests and did louder statements instead would help more but thats just my opinion. theres nothing wrong with it, but i feel like speaking up and being loud about it will do so much more than being quiet. like.. i would want people to walk away knowing this stuff. instead of thinking "oh people are quiet today for LGBT people..whatever doesnt concern me" you know? im not 100% sure how it works because yeah im having spring break during day of silence soooo.


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> day of silence is a good effort..idk. i feel like being silent wont really help y'know? i havent heard of it until now and i mean if i did it during school it would be kinda making a statement but at the same time we're often told to be quiet. so. idk i cant explain my thoughts well on it but like i feel like instead of being quiet for a day we could speak up instead. i think if we did protests and did louder statements instead would help more but thats just my opinion. theres nothing wrong with it, but i feel like speaking up and being loud about it will do so much more than being quiet. like.. i would want people to walk away knowing this stuff. instead of thinking "oh people are quiet today for LGBT people..whatever doesnt concern me" you know? im not 100% sure how it works because yeah im having spring break during day of silence soooo.




Yeah, I'm on break too. My parents are already suspicious already.


----------



## analytic

The day of silence is absolutely terrible. Don't be silent. Be loud. Yell, scream, get angry. Don't be quiet while people are homophobic, transphobic bigots. They don't deserve silence from us.


----------



## ghostbab

eep, I kind of have a question for anyone that could help me out? ^-^


----------



## Zeiro

ghostbab said:


> eep, I kind of have a question for anyone that could help me out? ^-^


I can probably help.


----------



## ghostbab

Reizo said:


> I can probably help.



Okay, thank you! I was curious if a person can identify as panromantic without being asexual? I've been thinking about it a lot and I really feel like I might be panromantic, but I know I'm not asexual :/


----------



## Zeiro

ghostbab said:


> Okay, thank you! I was curious if a person can identify as panromantic without being asexual? I've been thinking about it a lot and I really feel like I might be panromantic, but I know I'm not asexual :/


Of course. Panromantic means you are romantically attracted to people regardless of gender, and asexual means you don't experience sexual attraction. Panromanticism doesn't have anything to do with sexual attraction.

For example, someone could be a _panromantic homosexual_. So they are _romantically _attracted to people regardless of gender, but they are only _sexually_ attracted to the opposite sex.


----------



## radical6

whoops nvm


----------



## ghostbab

Reizo said:


> Of course. Panromantic means you are romantically attracted to people regardless of gender, and asexual means you don't experience sexual attraction. Panromanticism doesn't have anything to do with sexual attraction.
> 
> For example, someone could be a _panromantic homosexual_. So they are _romantically _attracted to people regardless of gender, but they are only _sexually_ attracted to the opposite sex.



Okay that's what I thought! Thank you so much, I just wasn't sure and I'm a little new to these terms, but it's nice to have a word I feel that I can identify with c:

- - - Post Merge - - -



tsundere said:


> ah wouldnt that just be pansexual?



Pansexual is the sexual attraction to anyone regardless of gender though, right? For me it's more romantic feelings than sexual feelings.


----------



## radical6

ghostbab said:


> Okay that's what I thought! Thank you so much, I just wasn't sure and I'm a little new to these terms, but it's nice to have a word I feel that I can identify with c:
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Pansexual is the sexual attraction to anyone regardless of gender though, right? For me it's more romantic feelings than sexual feelings.


yeah i had a friend of mine clear that up for me. ive heard people say ___romantic is for asexual people so i got really confused

is there like..a word for people who like the idea of poly and mono relationships?? if im polyamorous can i still date in mono relationships?? idk. ive been thinking about it for a while because im cool with both but ?i dont know if i will ever meet people irl who would be okay with a poly relationship.


----------



## ghostbab

tsundere said:


> yeah i had a friend of mine clear that up for me. ive heard people say ___romantic is for asexual people so i got really confused
> 
> is there like..a word for people who like the idea of poly and mono relationships?? if im polyamorous can i still date in mono relationships?? idk. ive been thinking about it for a while because im cool with both but ?i dont know if i will ever meet people irl who would be okay with a poly relationship.



Yeah I think __romantic is usually associated with asexuality, so I wasn't sure! 
I think if you say that you are polyamorous it doesn't mean that you have to be in a poly relationship! You're just open to the idea of it, and if it was an option you would choose it! I'm sure there are quite a few who are interested in poly relationships but unfortunately they have stigmas attached to them that people may have problems with so they stay away from it.


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> yeah i had a friend of mine clear that up for me. ive heard people say ___romantic is for asexual people so i got really confused
> 
> is there like..a word for people who like the idea of poly and mono relationships?? if im polyamorous can i still date in mono relationships?? idk. ive been thinking about it for a while because im cool with both but ?i dont know if i will ever meet people irl who would be okay with a poly relationship.


My ex-boyfriend was like that. Like he was a super cool guy, he just wasn't interested in only me. It was weird and I wasn't comfortable with it, so we broke up or whatever. I don't know. He said he wanted an "open relationship" and I'm like... no.

So yeah, you're not the only one I guess.


----------



## MayorMixie

I love and respect anyone/everyone that does the same for me. I live in the bay area of CA and I have friends that are all, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and trans. For me... I can't hate on a man who likes another man, a woman who likes another woman, a man that dresses as a female, or a female that dresses like a man because I have no reason to judge anyone without knowing them first. I see people as actual people and as corny as it sounds, we're all the same inside.


----------



## ghostbab

I love the Bay Area, I was just in SF this weekend it's so lovely c:

And as far as open relationships go they seem really tough, personally I don't think I could be in one because it would make me really uncomfortable but I admire people that can have a healthy open relationship that functions well and makes the people in them happy!


----------



## radical6

Reizo said:


> My ex-boyfriend was like that. Like he was a super cool guy, he just wasn't interested in only me. It was weird and I wasn't comfortable with it, so we broke up or whatever. I don't know. He said he wanted an "open relationship" and I'm like... no.
> 
> So yeah, you're not the only one I guess.



i dont think i would suddenly tell my partner if i was in a mono relationship that all of a sudden i wanted more people though
i feel like if i say im polyamorous that would make people think im not interested in mono relationships? and like i totally am up for it but at the same time im still interested in polyamorous relationships. (probably not more than 4 people though)

ive been learning about a lot of stuff and like... sometimes i worry that im just going through a phase?? i mean ive felt like i was nb since i was a child (back then i didnt know what the word for it though) but i just worry about it sooo much. ive always felt different and i hated the idea of being a girl and like.... i dont think its a phase but it doesnt really help when everyone says its a phase. idk if anyone else feels the same tho


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> ive been learning about a lot of stuff and like... sometimes i worry that im just going through a phase?? i mean ive felt like i was nb since i was a child (back then i didnt know what the word for it though) but i just worry about it sooo much. ive always felt different and i hated the idea of being a girl and like.... i dont think its a phase but it doesnt really help when everyone says its a phase. idk if anyone else feels the same tho


you're only like 12 or 13, right? you still have a lot of time to discover yourself and learn about yourself, so don't worry. you will go through some phases and stuff, but everyone does, it's part of growing up. if you've really felt non-binary your whole life, wow. that's not a phase at all then, don't worry about that.


----------



## keepitshay

There were a few of people in my high school that did day of silence (I did it for 2 years) and it was really terrible because they'd get bullied for it even if they were just allies. (Some were bullied by actual LGBTQA people which I was confused at the time) But, now that I'm older I do agree with Tsundere cause being quiet doesn't really do anything, really.


----------



## Gizmodo

I'm having such a bad dysphoric day today i just want to curl up and die omg


----------



## ghostbab

Gizmodo said:


> I'm having such a bad dysphoric day today i just want to curl up and die omg



I'm sorry to hear that :< Try doing something you enjoy maybe, or some deep breaths?


----------



## radical6

Reizo said:


> you're only like 12 or 13, right? you still have a lot of time to discover yourself and learn about yourself, so don't worry. you will go through some phases and stuff, but everyone does, it's part of growing up. if you've really felt non-binary your whole life, wow. that's not a phase at all then, don't worry about that.



yeah im 13. its just that so many people think that people are pretending to be trans and stuff because its "trendy" im like?? its the same thing they did when they thought people were bisexual to be "trendy" and it just makes me so upset



keepitshay said:


> There were a few of people in my high school that did day of silence (I did it for 2 years) and it was really terrible because they'd get bullied for it even if they were just allies. (Some were bullied by actual LGBTQA people which I was confused at the time) But, now that I'm older I do agree with Tsundere cause being quiet doesn't really do anything, really.


ew why would they get bullied?? thats so pathetic. omg. 



Gizmodo said:


> I'm having such a bad dysphoric day today i just want to curl up and die omg



im so sorry about that ): i get those days too where i just want to rip myself out of my body.. try to get your mind off it? watch something cute, play some games, try not to worry about it! just try to think about something else yeah..sorry im not too great with advice


----------



## oath2order

keepitshay said:


> There were a few of people in my high school that did day of silence (I did it for 2 years) and it was really terrible because they'd get bullied for it even if they were just allies. (Some were bullied by actual LGBTQA people which I was confused at the time) But, now that I'm older I do agree with Tsundere cause being quiet doesn't really do anything, really.



They got bullied by actual LGBTQA people because a good portion of the community hates allies.


----------



## Gizmodo

I just have to keep telling myself im lucky, im only small, no facial hair, no deep voice etc
im much luckier than others, i just need to get myself through this


----------



## ZoeZoe

analytic said:


> The day of silence is absolutely terrible. Don't be silent. Be loud. Yell, scream, get angry. Don't be quiet while people are homophobic, transphobic bigots. They don't deserve silence from us.



^^^^^^^^^^^
We've been silent and remain with our heads down. Don't be quiet. Scream at everyone you pass by. Yell at anyone who you see about the dangers we face everyday. We are silent all the time- the day of silence is absolutely useless.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> I just have to keep telling myself im lucky, im only small, no facial hair, no deep voice etc
> im much luckier than others, i just need to get myself through this



It'll be okay ♥ Lmk if you need anything, but you will get through this


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> I just have to keep telling myself im lucky, im only small, no facial hair, no deep voice etc
> im much luckier than others, i just need to get myself through this



I wish I had the gift of hairy legs, but alas, I have nothing there.


----------



## Jake

Sir Takoya said:


> I wish I had the gift of hairy legs, but alas, I have nothing there.



u can have all leg hair if u want but i do not have much either


----------



## Kildor

Jake. said:


> u can have all leg hair if u want but i do not have much either



I have quite a bit. I could donate some to both of you.


----------



## Jake

kildor22 said:


> I have quite a bit. I could donate some to both of you.



i dont rly want any more tho i am happy with the amount of leg hair i have but ty for offer u r good friend


----------



## Kildor

Jake. said:


> i dont rly want any more tho i am happy with the amount of leg hair i have but ty for offer u r good friend



Okay. Just PM for ur leg hair needs mate.


----------



## Sir Takoya

kildor22 said:


> I have quite a bit. I could donate some to both of you.



No, it all belongs to me. Do you understand?


----------



## Kildor

Sir Takoya said:


> No, it all belongs to me. Do you understand?



Relax. I have enough for everybody. Why do you want leg hair anyway?


----------



## Sir Takoya

kildor22 said:


> Relax. I have enough for everybody. Why do you want leg hair anyway?



Because it's awesome! To me, at least....I'm weird.


----------



## ghostbab

What's the exchange rate for leg hair anyways? 1 tbt per strand or what..


----------



## Gizmodo

I'm getting my blockers on the 14th May i think woop


----------



## ghostbab

Gizmodo said:


> I'm getting my blockers on the 14th May i think woop



Wow that's so exciting, congrats!!


----------



## Kildor

ghostbab said:


> What's the exchange rate for leg hair anyways? 1 tbt per strand or what..



2 TBT per leg hair. Exchange rate is high these days.


----------



## Gizmodo

ghostbab said:


> Wow that's so exciting, congrats!!



Thanks! no longer will need to worry about my voice breaking, or suddenly growing above 5'5 or getting a moustache lol


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Thanks! no longer will need to worry about my voice breaking, or suddenly growing above 5'5 or getting a moustache lol



What in the world is a blocker...


----------



## ghostbab

kildor22 said:


> 2 TBT per leg hair. Exchange rate is high these days.



Inflation I tell ya!

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> Thanks! no longer will need to worry about my voice breaking, or suddenly growing above 5'5 or getting a moustache lol



That's awesome, you're on your way! I'm happy for you (':


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> What in the world is a blocker...



Injection. Stops me from going through puberty.
Means i should be able to live without anyone being able to tell..


----------



## Farobi

Good luck Gizmodo ! ^^ Hope it all works out for you~

You're the first trans person I ever talked to tbh xP


----------



## Gizmodo

Farobi said:


> Good luck Gizmodo ! ^^ Hope it all works out for you~
> 
> You're the first trans person I ever talked to tbh xP



Haha thanks 

- - - Post Merge - - -

Oh and Y'all can call me Jenna if you didnt already know
(One benefit of being trans; choosing your name)


----------



## oath2order

Gizmodo said:


> Haha thanks
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Oh and Y'all can call me Jenna if you didnt already know
> (One benefit of being trans; choosing your name)



You can change your name at any time though 

No, but seriously I do see what you mean there.


----------



## Gizmodo

oath2order said:


> You can change your name at any time though
> 
> No, but seriously I do see what you mean there.



True 
Middle name is hard though, i dont want one, but my mum wants me to have one.. i might just let her pick since she had no say in my first name lol


----------



## reyy

um what does LGBTQA mean?


----------



## Squigly Contiello

OfficiallyCupcakes said:


> um what does LGBTQA mean?



Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Questioning, and Asexual. Some other abbreviations that can be added include Intersex and Pansexual.  But just to make sure all of those that are not straight or cis are included, LGBTQIA+, with the plus, is used.


----------



## oak

Gizmodo said:


> I'm getting my blockers on the 14th May i think woop


Congratulations! :3 I'm going with my boyfriend this friday to his gender appointment, he'll be starting T in a few weeks. They just wanna do some blood tests first.


----------



## Sir Takoya

Sometimes I think I'm a boy. Is there something wrong with me or is that normal?


----------



## Titi

Oooooh I didn't see this thread before. 
I'm a B. I suppressed it for a looong time thinking it was "just a phasee",
but nope, certain events confirmed it, hahaha.

Hi everyone!


----------



## radical6

im happy for you jenna! good luck  (jenna is a cute name!!)

i thought about changing my name but i felt like it wasnt that feminine so yeah. (its kallie idk ive met boys with the name kallie so i think ill be okay)


----------



## Squigly Contiello

Sir Takoya said:


> Sometimes I think I'm a boy. Is there something wrong with me or is that normal?



That's just normal, in that trans and genderfluid persons are normal. Do you feel as if you may have one of those as your identity, or maybe another identity entirely?



Titi said:


> Oooooh I didn't see this thread before.
> I'm a B. I suppressed it for a looong time thinking it was "just a phasee",
> but nope, certain events confirmed it, hahaha.
> 
> Hi everyone!


Hello, I'd be P and also genderfluid, contemplating the term demigirl.


----------



## Sir Takoya

Squigly Contiello said:


> That's just normal, in that trans and genderfluid persons are normal. Do you feel as if you may have one of those as your identity, or maybe another identity entirely?
> 
> 
> Hello, I'd be P and also genderfluid, contemplating the term demigirl.



Oh no, I've always been a girl. But I just feel like a gay boy...who dresses and acts like a boy. Not that butts are... Most of the time I don't even act like a girl and control my girly actions like squeaking and giggling. ;P


----------



## ZoeZoe

You prefer she/her pronouns? ^u^


----------



## Sir Takoya

ZoeZoe said:


> You prefer she/her pronouns? ^u^



It actually wouldn't matter. It works too. xD


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> im happy for you jenna! good luck  (jenna is a cute name!!)
> 
> i thought about changing my name but i felt like it wasnt that feminine so yeah. (its kallie idk ive met boys with the name kallie so i think ill be okay)



Thanks ) its an unusual name where i live (noone in my town has it) but its still simple enough, and its close to my original name which makes it easier for family


----------



## ZoeZoe

Sir Takoya said:


> It actually wouldn't matter. It works too. xD



Whoops I was actually trying to reply to Jenna but that's good to know too omg ^u^
I'm p sure I'm a demigirl, like- I'm not really a boy or a girl, but I'm fine w/ presenting as either but prefer xie or ahe pronouns  genders weird yo


----------



## Gizmodo

ZoeZoe said:


> You prefer she/her pronouns? ^u^



Well yeah aha


----------



## ZoeZoe

Gizmodo said:


> Well yeah aha


 just double checking omg ^u^


----------



## Sir Takoya

ZoeZoe said:


> Whoops I was actually trying to reply to Jenna but that's good to know too omg ^u^
> I'm p sure I'm a demigirl, like- I'm not really a boy or a girl, but I'm fine w/ presenting as either but prefer xie or ahe pronouns  genders weird yo



I looked it up. It's wierd.
It's like: Zhe, Zhimself....ugh what...


----------



## Gizmodo

How do you pronounce Xie and ahe? btw?
and how are these other pronouns decided, like ive seen soo many on tumblr, like lots of different ones, like how do you know which one fitted better for you?


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> How do you pronounce Xie and ahe? btw?
> and how are these other pronouns decided, like ive seen soo many on tumblr, like lots of different ones, like how do you know which one fitted better for you?


its whatever one feels the best and natural to you. there are lots of different pronouns out there. im not too sure about pronunciation though for some of them

personally i felt like they/them fit the best for me. there are other pronouns that i like that im fine with people using for me but i feel like they/them is easier for people to use and im fine with them so yeah

i guess the only thing that i worry about if i use different pronouns for myself is for people who dont speak english that well. i cant imagine how confusing it can be for them. (especially when you have the noun pronouns like fae. i think theyre cool and cute but i worry for all the non traditional pronouns because i dont want to make someones life more harder but ive seen posts with visual aid for people so hopefully it helps them!)


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> How do you pronounce Xie and ahe? btw?
> and how are these other pronouns decided, like ive seen soo many on tumblr, like lots of different ones, like how do you know which one fitted better for you?



Although using 'it' sounds a little mean, it's a lot easier to understand.


----------



## Gizmodo

I know but i just wonder how did all the different pronouns even originate? like how can you suddenly just think of one?
i understand they/them since thats obviously in the English Language, but i just wonder where all these other pronouns came from?


----------



## ghostbab

Sir Takoya said:


> Although using 'it' sounds a little mean, it's a lot easier to understand.



Some people prefer to go by it/itself though! I have always been curious how zhe/ahe was pronounced since I've only ever read them being used.


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> I know but i just wonder how did all the different pronouns even originate? like how can you suddenly just think of one?
> i understand they/them since thats obviously in the English Language, but i just wonder where all these other pronouns came from?



idk people just came up with them. xe pronouns seem the most popular out of the non traditional ones though. the noun pronouns (fae, pup, bun, etc) started a while ago on tumblr. people criticized them a lot and called them childish and i felt that was really rude. why do you care about what pronouns people use? theyre not hard to adjust to and people felt like it was making a mockery out of "real nonbinary people". the "real nonbinary people" used more traditional like pronouns (xie, ve, xir etc) and its like been a war ever since with them. 

but yeah the noun pronouns you see basically came from tumblr. people were trying out new things and im all for people exploring their gender. so props to them if they feel great using cute pronouns


----------



## Gizmodo

Who would want to be known as IT?
it is so offensive imo, it implies non human.. like freak idk it implies not deserving of a title, idk i just despise that word since so many people use it as a slur for trans people


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Who would want to be known as IT?
> it is so offensive imo, it implies non human.. like freak idk it implies not deserving of a title, idk i just despise that word since so many people use it as a slur for trans people



Why would you want to be human if they make fun of LGBTQA?


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Who would want to be known as IT?
> it is so offensive imo, it implies non human.. like freak idk it implies not deserving of a title, idk i just despise that word since so many people use it as a slur for trans people



i think if you use it pronouns for people who DONT want to be called it is degrading and rude. though im fine with people using it pronouns for people who really do like it pronouns. there are people here who use it pronouns so yeah. but i see how you dislike it, but i feel like its rude to not use it pronouns for them even if you think its offensive to them


----------



## Gizmodo

Noo id use it for them, i just find it odd how someone would want to use it


"Why would you want to be human if they make fun of LGBTQA? "
What? but us LGBTQA are human lol.. so i want to be human

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also i was speaking to a transotherkin today..
possibly the weirdest conversation ive ever had, but interesting at the same time
Never heard of them until today


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Also i was speaking to a transotherkin today..
> possibly the weirdest conversation ive ever had, but interesting at the same time
> Never heard of them until today



i know a lot of otherkin who are trans actually
im a bit confused because they say some pronouns like the fae pronouns are otherkin only and i was like huh...well okay. im not really sure which pronouns are for otherkin only or which pronouns are open for everyone to use


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> i think if you use it pronouns for people who DONT want to be called it is degrading and rude. though im fine with people using it pronouns for people who really do like it pronouns. there are people here who use it pronouns so yeah. but i see how you dislike it, but i feel like its rude to not use it pronouns for them even if you think its offensive to them



You just made me think to add that to my signature. I've been called he before I put the character there and now I was getting called she. -.- No...just no....

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> Noo id use it for them, i just find it odd how someone would want to use it
> 
> 
> "Why would you want to be human if they make fun of LGBTQA? "
> What? but us LGBTQA are human lol.. so i want to be human
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also i was speaking to a transotherkin today..
> possibly the weirdest conversation ive ever had, but interesting at the same time
> Never heard of them until today



Come on, don't you see what they say about us all the time


----------



## ghostbab

When I first saw 'it'  pronouns I was a little cautious because it definitely could be found as offensive, or even nonhuman, but when I actually saw that people preferred that I got use to it pretty quickly, but I can definitely see the hesitation.
I would definitely like to learn more about otherkin as well, I'm not too familiar with them!


----------



## Gizmodo

Yes i see what humans say about us..
but we are humans too, so its irrelevant?? you make no sense

Also what the heck is transethnic? surely thats impossible
how can you identify as a different race bc surely thats based on racism? how can you feel like a race? you cant blanket statement a race as a feeling

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also i just saw an otherkin who identifys as a star 
so they go by starself


----------



## Squigly Contiello

ghostbab said:


> I would definitely like to learn more about otherkin as well, I'm not too familiar with them!



Actually, I was feeling that I may be? As either a fairy or part of the sky. Maybe both. But you'd be better off asking someone who has already fully Awakened. That is, realized that they are kin.


----------



## Gizmodo

Also someone is a latiaskin?
idk i bet tumblr sensationalizes all of this tbh


----------



## Titi

Gizmodo said:


> Also what the heck is transethnic? surely thats impossible
> how can you identify as a different race bc surely thats based on racism? how can you feel like a race? you cant blanket statement a race as a feeling



I think transethnics identify with a culture/lifestyle that doesn't correspond to theirs...
I don't think it's racist at all. Being a third culture kid myself I understand how frustrating it can be to feel like you don't "belong" in the culture where you were born and raise.
Correct me if I'm wrong about the definition but I think that's it.


----------



## Gizmodo

Squigly Contiello said:


> Actually, I was feeling that I may be? As either a fairy or part of the sky. Maybe both. But you'd be better off asking someone who has already fully Awakened. That is, realized that they are kin.



Just wondering how can you be part of the sky? like how does the sky feel like anything?
same with a Fairy, they are not real, so how do you associate with them?
i see with animals i suppose, but things like the sky i dont understand at all? so would be nice for you to explain and i dont want to offend you so sorry i am


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Yes i see what humans say about us..
> but we are humans too, so its irrelevant?? you make no sense
> 
> Also what the heck is transethnic? surely thats impossible
> how can you identify as a different race bc surely thats based on racism? how can you feel like a race? you cant blanket statement a race as a feeling
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also i just saw an otherkin who identifys as a star
> so they go by starself



my friend felt like they were a void but i dont think they are otherkin anymore

also transethnic refers to white children adopted by parents who arent white i think? (well not white i think its mostly children who are of a different race from their parents) they want to get more interested in their parents cultures i believe. but now its a word for white people who use it as a free pass to be racist and throw slurs around but say theyre japanese/black/whatever because theyre transethnic. weeaboos like to say theyre transethnic because "they feel japanese!" like you cant feel a race. sorry you cant feel asian. you cant feel black. because we're not a feeling. (what the hell do we feel like anyway? they mostly think theyre this race because of stereotypes...) transethnic goes for other POC too but usually its weeaboos or people pretending to be black. they think they fall under the trans label and it pisses me off so much. luckily theyre not taken seriously most of the time. 

we're going a bit off topic though so ill stop there


----------



## Squigly Contiello

Gizmodo said:


> Just wondering how can you be part of the sky? like how does the sky feel like anything?
> same with a Fairy, they are not real, so how do you associate with them?
> i see with animals i suppose, but things like the sky i dont understand at all? so would be nice for you to explain and i dont want to offend you so sorry i am



It's strange to explain, I feel. It's just that I'm just a part of it. I could be a cloud, or particles within the atmosphere. Maybe even the wind. As for fairy, I could have been in another universe where they are existing. And with that, there could be fairies that are greatly involved in the sky? I don't know, I just think that I really don't like being human per se.  I feel awful about when there's some part of my body being shamed or bad. I feel like I shouldn't have one like this. I guess that's why I feel more relation to the sky, as I wouldn't have anything like that.


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> my friend felt like they were a void but i dont think they are otherkin anymore
> 
> also transethnic refers to white children adopted by parents who arent white i think? they want to get more interested in their parents cultures i believe. but now its a word for white people who use it as a free pass to be racist and throw slurs around but say theyre japanese/black/whatever because theyre transethnic. weeaboos like to say theyre transethnic because "they feel japanese!" like you cant feel a race. sorry you cant feel asian. you cant feel black. because we're not a feeling. transethnic goes for other POC too but usually its weeaboos or people pretending to be black



Thanks tsundere, you put what i was trying to put across
i just wanted to put across how the hell can you feel like a race, you can't, a race is not a feeling ffs
also culture is learned behaviour you aint born with culture


----------



## Titi

You're born in a culture.
And sometimes it doesn't fit, I guess?
I'm not a transethnic myself I'm just trying to understand where they are coming from.


----------



## ZoeZoe

Gizmodo said:


> How do you pronounce Xie and ahe? btw?
> and how are these other pronouns decided, like ive seen soo many on tumblr, like lots of different ones, like how do you know which one fitted better for you?



Ahe was a result of miss typing she  oops!!
Xie sounds a LOT like she, only I usually pronounce the x- so instead of shhh-eeee it ex-ie! If that makes sense ^.^ though I take mandarin, so s and x sound totally different to me ^u^


----------



## Gizmodo

But they're are saying they are a different race
eg a white girl saying shes asian..
Also no-one is born into a culture, its learned behaviour.. 
idk its just so confusing, and they're saying their ethic dysphoria is as a bad as gender dysphoria and idk i just think no


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> But they're are saying they are a different race
> eg a white girl saying shes asian..
> Also no-one is born into a culture, its learned behaviour..
> idk its just so confusing, and they're saying their ethic dysphoria is as a bad as gender dysphoria and idk i just think no



Thanks, I need to check myself for GID Oo


----------



## Gizmodo

Also do you all reckon this is a real person talking or just a troll attempt?


----------



## ghostbab

Trans-ethnicism seems like it would have a fine line towards racism and cultural appropriation, like a white person saying they 'feel' like a POC, but I can see how it could apply to those who want to associate with a culture that they've been raised into but feel as if they don't belong. 

And thank you Squigly, I had no idea there was an awakening that otherkin experience! 

I'm learning a lot and I'm thankful for this thread, but I don't want to overstep my boundaries, please let me know if I do!


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Also do you all reckon this is a real person talking or just a troll attempt?



Where is this? lol what a joke.


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Also do you all reckon this is a real person talking or just a troll attempt?



looks like a joke tbh. depends on the url really but theyre likely joking

i was thinking of starting a LGBT club at my school but ive never seen LGBT clubs its always a GSA. idk. i just want to meet non het or non cis people please. or asexual people, that would be cool. but idk how to bring it up to my school......


----------



## oath2order

Gizmodo said:


> Also do you all reckon this is a real person talking or just a troll attempt?



I'm convinced that's a troll.


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> looks like a joke tbh. depends on the url really but theyre likely joking
> 
> i was thinking of starting a LGBT club at my school but ive never seen LGBT clubs its always a GSA. idk. i just want to meet non het or non cis people please. or asexual people, that would be cool. but idk how to bring it up to my school......



I think it'd be cool to start a LGBT here too. If it's possible and allowed...I don't see why not.


----------



## Gizmodo

oath2order said:


> I'm convinced that's a troll.



Yeah i am too, but im on the plantkin tag atm, so anything is possible


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Yeah i am too, but im on the plantkin tag atm, so anything is possible



people often troll the otherkin tags so


----------



## Gizmodo

Theres a lgbt thing at my college and ive been once :x
idk im gonna be the only trans person in my entire town and idk i dont want to be the only one having to burden all the questions anyone wants to ask even in a lgbt club


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Theres a lgbt thing at my college and ive been once :x
> idk im gonna be the only trans person in my entire town and idk i dont want to be the only one having to burden all the questions anyone wants to ask even in a lgbt club



i dont know if im like the only trans person because i dont like to assume people are cis but i know its unlikely :/ and there are often closeted people. but i feel like if i went out and started one up it would draw people in and maybe they would come out?? i would pretty cool with that


----------



## Sir Takoya

Sir Takoya said:


> I think it'd be cool to start a LGBT here too. If it's possible and allowed...I don't see why not.



Brooo, don't miss the oppurtunity (you missed the comment)



Gizmodo said:


> Theres a lgbt thing at my college and ive been once :x
> idk im gonna be the only trans person in my entire town and idk i dont want to be the only one having to burden all the questions anyone wants to ask even in a lgbt club



I hate getting asked questions when I'm put on the spotlight...Did I even raise my hand? No! Why did you call me then?


----------



## Gizmodo

Exactly!!
and like it was before i was out to anyone, and only the team leader there knew, and he kept pickking on me to answer trans questions and like "how do you feel on trans people" "dont you think they need to be more open" etc and i wanted to cry bc i felt like i was being outed


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Exactly!!
> and like it was before i was out to anyone, and only the team leader there knew, and he kept pickking on me to answer trans questions and like "how do you feel on trans people" "dont you think they need to be more open" etc and i wanted to cry bc i felt like i was being outed



If it were me, I wouldn't say anything and pretend to be a lesbian that was there. xD We don't have a group like that at my school, but maybe in college...maybe!


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Exactly!!
> and like it was before i was out to anyone, and only the team leader there knew, and he kept pickking on me to answer trans questions and like "how do you feel on trans people" "dont you think they need to be more open" etc and i wanted to cry bc i felt like i was being outed



omg "dont you think they need to be more open" lmao what the hell
why do cis people ask stuff like that?????????? um you can google it. i have people ask me basic crap about my race im like go away i dont care. most people here dont know what trans people are and they only care about the LG in LGBT.

thats terrible, he shouldve backed off. he was clearly hinting you were trans to everyone if he only asked you about it. why the hell do people think thats okay


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> omg "dont you think they need to be more open" lmao what the hell
> why do cis people ask stuff like that?????????? um you can google it. i have people ask me basic crap about my race im like go away i dont care. most people here dont know what trans people are and they only care about the LG in LGBT.
> 
> thats terrible, he shouldve backed off. he was clearly hinting you were trans to everyone if he only asked you about it. why the hell do people think thats okay



Oh man, now I really feel left out. #forevergenderconfused


----------



## Gizmodo

And then some trans person came in, who does lots of support work around my area, and they kept making jokes about trans people and stuff and idk, just bc you're fine with them, doesnt mean everyone is?? just because you are trans doesnt mean every trans person thinks its fine to joke about stuff

- - - Post Merge - - -

And ugh another annoying thing is, since i always have got mistaken for a girl, even when i tried to act like a boy.. people think its ok to make trans jokes to me :l and like..
1) you dont know im trans, but i am, and its offensive
2) if i wasnt trans, its offensive to make fun of a boy, saying hes trans and girly..

they used to always joke "lol are you gonna get a sex change?"
and its just so insensitive


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> And then some trans person came in, who does lots of support work around my area, and they kept making jokes about trans people and stuff and idk, just bc you're fine with them, doesnt mean everyone is?? just because you are trans doesnt mean every trans person thinks its fine to joke about stuff
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> And ugh another annoying thing is, since i always have got mistaken for a girl, even when i tried to act like a boy.. people think its ok to make trans jokes to me :l and like..
> 1) you dont know im trans, but i am, and its offensive
> 2) if i wasnt trans, its offensive to make fun of a boy, saying hes trans and girly..
> 
> they used to always joke "lol are you gonna get a sex change?"
> and its just so insensitive



This is what you should do with all the anger you've been storing up:






Basically, unleash it.


----------



## oath2order

Gizmodo said:


> Yeah i am too, but im on the plantkin tag atm, so anything is possible



Okay that tag itself is a troll tag I'm sure of it.


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> And ugh another annoying thing is, since i always have got mistaken for a girl, even when i tried to act like a boy.. people think its ok to make trans jokes to me :l and like..
> 1) you dont know im trans, but i am, and its offensive
> 2) if i wasnt trans, its offensive to make fun of a boy, saying hes trans and girly..
> 
> they used to always joke "lol are you gonna get a sex change?"
> and its just so insensitive



one time i was sitting in algebra and this kid older than me was talking about this trans person they saw at the mall. he goes "he...was..wearing a wig...and he was...trans.................." like he said it so slowly like he was terrified. i was like and um why does that matter? and then he just makes some gross transphobic joke and i just stare at him. like are you serious? and then the kid next to me is like "whats trans?"

i hate it when people ask when you're going to get your operation or what your parts are. like it's not your business. why are people so obsessed with parts?? jeez


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> i hate it when people ask when you're going to get your operation or what your parts are. like it's not your business. why are people so obsessed with parts?? jeez



Because people are kinky and they wanna know what they can--- nevermind.


----------



## Gizmodo

I hate how fetished it is though, like just stop


----------



## Sir Takoya

I bet if we started a thread about starting a LBGTQA group and get some donations I bet we could start a group.


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> I hate how fetished it is though, like just stop



it makes me so sad when i see people have other people as fetishes. like ewwwww



Sir Takoya said:


> I bet if we started a thread about starting a LBGTQA group and get some donations I bet we could start a group.


i recall flop talking about it but i dont know what happened. flop has the group thing but they havent done anything with it


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> it makes me so sad when i see people have other people as fetishes. like ewwwww
> 
> 
> i recall flop talking about it but i dont know what happened. flop has the group thing but they havent done anything with it



Ugghhh.... Well it's time to spam flop's inbox!


----------



## Big Forum User

tsundere said:


> day of silence is a good effort..idk. i feel like being silent wont really help y'know? i havent heard of it until now and i mean if i did it during school it would be kinda making a statement but at the same time we're often told to be quiet. so. idk i cant explain my thoughts well on it but like i feel like instead of being quiet for a day we could speak up instead. i think if we did protests and did louder statements instead would help more but thats just my opinion. theres nothing wrong with it, but i feel like speaking up and being loud about it will do so much more than being quiet. like.. i would want people to walk away knowing this stuff. instead of thinking "oh people are quiet today for LGBT people..whatever doesnt concern me" you know? im not 100% sure how it works because yeah im having spring break during day of silence soooo.



Aww... my school is recognizing it so much there's going to be a presentation about it, a punishment for making people talk, even TEACHERS are doing it.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Sir Takoya said:


> I bet if we started a thread about starting a LBGTQA group and get some donations I bet we could start a group.



try it!


----------



## HarmoniousMelody

Seems like ignorance is everywhere. I was told there's no possible way I could be a gray-A cause I was a virgin


----------



## oath2order

Gizmodo said:


> Also i just saw an otherkin who identifys as a star
> so they go by starself



starself is this a joke


----------



## radical6

HarmoniousMelody said:


> Seems like ignorance is everywhere. I was told there's no possible way I could be a gray-A cause I was a virgin



"how do you know if you're asexual if you havent had sEX?????????? you should try with me...then you will know if youre really asexual!11!!q" 



oath2order said:


> starself is this a joke


werent you accepting of otherkin? or was that someone else


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> "how do you know if you're asexual if you havent had sEX?????????? you should try with me...then you will know if youre really asexual!11!!q"
> 
> 
> werent you accepting of otherkin? or was that someone else



idk. Otherkin is okay I mean it's still an animal.

stars though like seriously. a star are you kidding me


----------



## Zeiro

i really don't understand a star though?? like it's not even a living thing.


----------



## oath2order

Reizo said:


> i really don't understand a star though?? like it's not even a living thing.



That's exactly my point.


----------



## radical6

hmmm well my old friend when they identified as otherkin they felt like a void because they felt like they truly weren't there. like they were empty. idk. im not too sure about stars though but i dont really care what they feel like, because it's not my business. ill respect them either way. i try not to mess up my language though for otherkin because i often say people a lot and i dont wanna offend them.. i dont know very much about otherkin so yeah


----------



## analytic

yeah ok let's NOT make fun of otherkin because

-it's what makes them comfortable
-they aren't hurting anybody
-making fun of people being comfortable makes you the bad one


----------



## radical6

analytic said:


> yeah ok let's NOT make fun of otherkin because
> 
> -it's what makes them comfortable
> -they aren't hurting anybody
> -making fun of people being comfortable makes you the bad one



sorry if i came off that i was making fun of them
but yeah they dont hurt anyone. tbh you can identify as whatever as long as it isnt harmful, bc who cares.


----------



## analytic

tsundere said:


> sorry if i came off that i was making fun of them
> but yeah they dont hurt anyone. tbh you can identify as whatever as long as it isnt harmful, bc who cares.



nah that wasn't directed at you, the peeps above you mostly.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Mm, and on the topic of allies- no, we don't hate allies, we hate that some are trying to shove their way into our minority, sometimes even ignoring asexuals/aromantics by saying the A stands for Ally. There's even some people trying to "come out" as an ally. There are really good allies, most of them are- we're just calling out the ones who really don't understand what the word "ally" means.


----------



## oath2order

analytic said:


> nah that wasn't directed at you, the peeps above you mostly.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Mm, and on the topic of allies- no, we don't hate allies, we hate that some are trying to shove their way into our minority, sometimes even ignoring asexuals/aromantics by saying the A stands for Ally. There's even some people trying to "come out" as an ally. There are really good allies, most of them are- we're just calling out the ones who really don't understand what the word "ally" means.



I was in favor of otherkin??


----------



## analytic

sorry sorry not talking about that bit really?? like if someone says they want to be called a star or w/e do that so they're comfortable with themselves please


----------



## Zeiro

I wasn't making fun of them either, I was just confused as to how someone could identify as an inanimate object.


----------



## Gizmodo

Me too, but i think its ridiculous every other single otherkin has different pronouns, and some of them go crazy if people dont use them
sorry but theres never going to be a situation irl where people call you bun/bunself or star/starself or fire/fireself..
They/them other pronouns fine, try them, but you cant just make up 100's of pronouns

- - - Post Merge - - -



HarmoniousMelody said:


> Seems like ignorance is everywhere. I was told there's no possible way I could be a gray-A cause I was a virgin



LOL its like when i came out as trans to a therapist and they were like
"but uve never gone full time in dresses, how can you know?"
bye

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also i thought a lot of otherkin was about souls? like feeling you have the soul of an animal??
but a plant doesnt have a soul i dont think


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Me too, but i think its ridiculous every other single otherkin has different pronouns, and some of them go crazy if people dont use them
> sorry but theres never going to be a situation irl where people call you bun/bunself or star/starself or fire/fireself..
> They/them other pronouns fine, try them, but you cant just make up 100's of pronouns
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> LOL its like when i came out as trans to a therapist and they were like
> "but uve never gone full time in dresses, how can you know?"
> bye
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also i thought a lot of otherkin was about souls? like feeling you have the soul of an animal??
> but a plant doesnt have a soul i dont think



But plants are living...so wouldn't they have some sort of....soul plant thing?


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> But plants are living...so wouldn't they have some sort of....soul plant thing?



Idk


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Me too, but i think its ridiculous every other single otherkin has different pronouns, and some of them go crazy if people dont use them
> sorry but theres never going to be a situation irl where people call you bun/bunself or star/starself or fire/fireself..
> They/them other pronouns fine, try them, but you cant just make up 100's of pronouns
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> LOL its like when i came out as trans to a therapist and they were like
> "but uve never gone full time in dresses, how can you know?"
> bye
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also i thought a lot of otherkin was about souls? like feeling you have the soul of an animal??
> but a plant doesnt have a soul i dont think



hmmmm they know people likely wont use it irl but if i had the chance i would use it for them anyway. (because people will be confused and it will pretty much out them) i think at the very least you should use it online for them because its one of their only safe spaces you know? and those who use those pronouns arent always otherkin. i see nothing wrong with bun pronouns because if it makes you feel good then ill use them. who are we to tell people that their pronouns are invalid? it might sound silly to you but maybe it makes them feel really good.


----------



## Gizmodo

Oh i'd use it online, i just honestly dont think it can ever translate in real life? and its unrealistic to set such high hopes of that happening bc it wont..
My bff loves my new name woop


----------



## ghostbab

In other news the petition to legally recognize non-binary genders is really close its goal!


----------



## Gizmodo

ghostbab said:


> In other news the petition to legally recognize non-binary genders is really close its goal!



How Close?


----------



## ghostbab

Gizmodo said:


> How Close?



1,003 away last I checked!


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> How Close?


Really? That means I don't have to pick female anymore.


----------



## radical6

ghostbab said:


> In other news the petition to legally recognize non-binary genders is really close its goal!


ehhhhh....now that ive had time to think about it i hope it doesnt pass
before any of you jump down my throat im nb and ill explain later


----------



## oath2order

IT WON'T DO ANYTHING.

Guys you do realize that the petition site doesn't mean anything is going to actually change, right? It doesn't REQUIRE the government to do anything -_-


----------



## radical6

it reached its goal. but like oath said i really doubt they care so whatever


----------



## Zeiro

I think a lot of people know full well that it doesn't require them to change anything. It requires them to see it, review the issue and respond to it.


----------



## radical6

tbh the petition just hurts amab nonbinary people and nonbinary poc. if the government recognized nb genders then it would just make it a lot worse for them. 

there was another petition going around to make urinal bathrooms unisex (that just outs amab trans people....) and i dont see why they just can't make all bathrooms the same instead. just throw in a urinal in the stall or whatever, so no one can see. though that will never happen for like a long time because the government and companies would never waste their money on making this a reality.


----------



## ghostbab

Of course it doesn't mean that there is a guarantee anything is going to change, but they still are required to look at it, I mean at least people care and are making an effort.
But I'm curious as to why this would hurt amab nonbinary people and nonbinary poc?


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> tbh the petition just hurts amab nonbinary people and nonbinary poc. if the government recognized nb genders then it would just make it a lot worse for them.
> 
> there was another petition going around to make urinal bathrooms unisex (that just outs amab trans people....) and i dont see why they just can't make all bathrooms the same instead. just throw in a urinal in the stall or whatever, so no one can see. though that will never happen for like a long time because the government and companies would never waste their money on making this a reality.



I honestly wouldn't have a problem having a trans in the women's bathroom. It's not like they can see what I'm doing.


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> I honestly wouldn't have a problem having a trans in the women's bathroom. It's not like they can see what I'm doing.



A lot of trans women you wouldnt even be able to tell they were anyway..


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Gizmodo said:


> A lot of trans women you wouldnt even be able to tell they were anyway..



True that


----------



## ghostbab

I thought it was more for the comfort of trans and non-binary people rather than cis people though?


----------



## Idfldnsndt

What is binary and cis???


----------



## guiltylove

I'm pansexual and bigender- which fits under the trans label. I'm also polyamorous.
Nice to meet you all~


----------



## Idfldnsndt

guiltylove said:


> I'm pansexual and bigender- which fits under the trans label. I'm also polyamorous.
> Nice to meet you all~



Hello 
I'm so confused with everything everyone's saying hahaha


----------



## ghostbab

guiltylove said:


> I'm pansexual and bigender- which fits under the trans label. I'm also polyamorous.
> Nice to meet you all~



Hi, it's nice to meet you too! I followed your ac tumblr and noticed that my character wears a similiar qr code c:


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Ghostbab can you answer my question please


----------



## jessicaj

I'm straight, but I support <3


----------



## Idfldnsndt

jessicaj said:


> I'm straight, but I support <3



You. Are. Amazing.


----------



## ghostbab

Idfldnsndt said:


> Ghostbab can you answer my question please



Have you tried googling any of the terms? I feel like you should do that and then ask any questions you might have ^-^


----------



## Idfldnsndt

ghostbab said:


> Have you tried googling any of the terms? I feel like you should do that and then ask any questions you might have ^-^



I don't think my Internet will be able to handle all of the searches lol


----------



## ghostbab

Idfldnsndt said:


> I don't think my Internet will be able to handle all of the searches lol



I think you can handle it c: Take it bit by bit, it's a lot of info when you're being introduced to it, but it's really important! 
I guess just to be quick though, cisgender is where your gender that you identify as is the same as the one you were designated at birth ie. I was designated female at birth and I identify as a female now making me cisgender!


----------



## Idfldnsndt

ghostbab said:


> I think you can handle it c: Take it bit by bit, it's a lot of info when you're being introduced to it, but it's really important!
> I guess just to be quick though, cisgender is where your gender that you identify as is the same as the one you were designated at birth ie. I was designated female at birth and I identify as a female now making me cisgender!




But isn't that just a normal female?


----------



## oak

Idfldnsndt said:


> But isn't that just a normal female?


I know it can be hard to get your head around sometimes. Especially if it's your first time hearing all these words. c: Cisgender is basically the opposite of transgender. It's kinda hard to explain, but here's a good website. *click here* Hope that's a good start for you.


----------



## Idfldnsndt

I still don't understand that cisgender one. 
To me it just feels like people are making up more random words for no reason at all


----------



## radical6

ghostbab said:


> Of course it doesn't mean that there is a guarantee anything is going to change, but they still are required to look at it, I mean at least people care and are making an effort.
> But I'm curious as to why this would hurt amab nonbinary people and nonbinary poc?



read this and this



Idfldnsndt said:


> But isn't that just a normal female?



i know you're new to this stuff but thats a very hurtful thing to say. trans women are normal girls too. 

ill go through some terms that you might hear in the future 

cisgender means that you identify with the gender you were assigned with at birth. ex - my mom was assigned a girl at birth. she still identifies as a girl. she is a cis woman. 
transgender means that you don't identify with the gender you were assigned at birth. i was assigned girl at birth, but i don't identify as a girl. i am trans because i identify as nonbinary. (genderqueer to be exact)
nonbinary is an umbrella term for people who don't identify within the gender binary. (the gender binary is man and woman). there's agender, genderfluid, genderqueer etc. they're all different. 

AMAB/DMAB = assigned male at birth/designated male at birth
AFAB/DFAB= assigned female at birth/designated female at birth
AMAB and DMAB mean the same thing and so does AFAB and DFAB.

anything else you're still confused about?



guiltylove said:


> I'm pansexual and bigender- which fits under the trans label. I'm also polyamorous.
> Nice to meet you all~



welcome! ive been questioning a bit if i was polyamorous earlier and im still unsure x_x



Idfldnsndt said:


> I still don't understand that cisgender one.
> To me it just feels like people are making up more random words for no reason at all



cisgender isn't made up. cisgender is basically people who aren't trans...


----------



## Zeiro

My friend came out to me as non-binary this week and I'm really proud of them.


----------



## Idfldnsndt

What, so cisgender is anyone that isn't transgender?
And I wasn't meaning to be offensive, everyone that's a person is a normal person


----------



## radical6

Idfldnsndt said:


> What, so cisgender is anyone that isn't transgender?
> And I wasn't meaning to be offensive, everyone that's a person is a normal person



i know you didn't mean to be offensive but it sounded like you were saying cis girls are normal girls, and that trans women aren't. or that trans women are different from normal girls. idk i might be looking a bit too much into this

and yes cisgender is anyone that isn't trans. you're cis if you're not trans. cisgender is anyone who identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth


----------



## Idfldnsndt

tsundere said:


> i know you didn't mean to be offensive but it sounded like you were saying cis girls are normal girls, and that trans women aren't. or that trans women are different from normal girls. idk i might be looking a bit too much into this
> 
> and yes cisgender is anyone that isn't trans. you're cis if you're not trans. cisgender is anyone who identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth



Yeah exactly. I wasn't meaning to say that at all


----------



## Gizmodo

Deciding a middle name SUCKS.
I think i'm going to let my mum choose though ^^ as long as she doesnt pick something like Maude or Agnes it will be fine


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Deciding a middle name SUCKS.
> I think i'm going to let my mum choose though ^^ as long as she doesnt pick something like Maude or Agnes it will be fine



my middle name is kinda embarrassing :< but i dont really wanna change it. 
agnes is a pretty name though!


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> my middle name is kinda embarrassing :< but i dont really wanna change it.
> agnes is a pretty name though!



Noo Agnes makes me think of some decrepid person in a retirement home lol
its as bad as; Maude, Mavis etc


----------



## radical6

Gizmodo said:


> Noo Agnes makes me think of some decrepid person in a retirement home lol
> its as bad as; Maude, Mavis etc



i think agnes is a cute name. but that might be because im playing a game with the main characters name as agnes haha

maude and mavis sounds old though


----------



## Gizmodo

Ahah idk maybe its a cultural thing?? i literally dont think ive ever heard someone with the name Agnes in the UK lol apart from an 80 year old


----------



## Idfldnsndt

I have never heard of anyone who is called Agnes


----------



## Sir Takoya

Idfldnsndt said:


> I have never heard of anyone who is called Agnes



Every time I think of that name, I think of the cow, and it makes me hungry.


----------



## Gizmodo

Maybe Mae its a simple middle name lol


----------



## oath2order

Idfldnsndt said:


> I have never heard of anyone who is called Agnes



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnes_(name)#People_named_Agnes


----------



## Idfldnsndt

oath2order said:


> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnes_(name)#People_named_Agnes



I meant in my life


----------



## Mayor TB

Straight people are so boring, asexual people are the best.
Also the straights can't dance.


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Mayor TB said:


> Straight people are so boring, asexual people are the best.
> Also the straights can't dance.



Gay peoples are the best dancers

- - - Post Merge - - -

Wait- did I just say that.


----------



## Mayor TB

Idfldnsndt said:


> Gay peoples are the best dancers
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Wait- did I just say that.



I'd say asexual people or bisexual people are the best dancers.


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Maybe bisexual.


----------



## radical6

Mayor TB said:


> Straight people are so boring, asexual people are the best.
> Also the straights can't dance.



be prepared for the amount of hate coming your way
i cant dance at all tbh. i just stand there awkwardly.

kinda nervous about seeing my therapist since i did come out and all..i was supposed to get a trans lady as my therapist because she was going to recommend me to her but it turns out shes full so i gotta stay with my regular one.


----------



## Mayor TB

True, true.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm just speaking the truth, if the straights can't handle it they can get over it lmao.

EDIT: Aw dang, I hope everything goes well for you. I'm sorry you couldn't get a trans therapist like you wanted.


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Wish I could see a therapist D: :c


----------



## oath2order

Mayor TB said:


> Straight people are so boring, asexual people are the best.
> Also the straights can't dance.



I'm gay and I think this is stupid. Let's stereotype yay!


----------



## Idfldnsndt

oath2order said:


> I'm gay and I think this is stupid. Let's stereotype yay!



Wahhhhht


----------



## Mayor TB

Calm down, it's just a joke, jesus.
(orisithuehuehue)


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Mayor TB said:


> Calm down, it's just a joke, jesus.
> (orisithuehuehue)



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA


----------



## Mayor TB

Seriously though, most of the time when people say stuff like this they're messing around.
People don't want straight people to seriously die or anything inhumane like that. Most of the time I, and others, just like to joke about it since the jokes are pretty funny usually.
If you're offended by it, not much I can do. (shrugs)


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Yeah pretty much


----------



## Poppyann

It's good for a forum to have a thread like this, I was reading through some of the posts and it's super interesting to read some of your stories c:

I'm straight though, but I believe people should just let everyone be who they wanna be, the world keeps on spinning around anyway. I have gay friends, straight friends and trans friends and they're all as wonderful as one another~


----------



## ghostbab

Thank you for the links tsundere! Things are never as simple as they seem, and I never took into consideration all the restrictions it could actually cause :<

Poppyann, I really like your signature c:


----------



## Gizmodo

Ugh the stereotypes on TV drive me insaneee
Gay Male: Shown to be Camp diva esque, love fashion, makeup
Lesbian: Butch
Trans: 40 year old man, getting hair ripped off on Jerry springer

 luckily its starting to change


----------



## Stevey Queen

Day of Silence thoughts and opinions?

Not giving mine. I'll just get yelled at~


----------



## Gizmodo

Whens the Day of Silence? i think things like that dont work well tbh


----------



## ghostbab

LoveMcQueen said:


> Day of Silence thoughts and opinions?
> 
> Not giving mine. I'll just get yelled at~



Seems a bit contradictory to me? Your supposed to be silent because people are often silenced in the community or feel that they don't have a voice so you're supposed to stay quiet? I think you should be loud, and honestly angry because silence won't get you anywhere.
Also I believe today is the day of silence.


----------



## Gizmodo

ghostbab said:


> Seems a bit contradictory to me? Your supposed to be silent because people are often silenced in the community or feel that they don't have a voice so you're supposed to stay quiet? I think you should be loud, and honestly angry because silence won't get you anywhere.
> Also I believe today is the day of silence.



I agree..
i just think silence for anything is dumb, like when people do a day of silence for sponsering, and half the people dont even know what the hell the cause is for, as the person wont speak


----------



## Poppyann

ghostbab said:


> Thank you for the links tsundere! Things are never as simple as they seem, and I never took into consideration all the restrictions it could actually cause :<
> 
> Poppyann, I really like your signature c:



Thanks sweetie c:~

@Gizmodo: yeah you're so right,  theyre pretty much the only media stereotypes we have here too. The camp divaesque gay male seems to be the only representation of a gay man I ever see on tv.


----------



## radical6

stumbled upon a sexuality and like.. im not really sure how to feel about it

"Skoliosexual: attracted to genderqueer and transsexual people and expressions (people who aren’t identified as cisgender)"
now that just weirds me out a bit... like i understand if youre trans and youre looking to date people who share the same experiences with you, but cis people who are skoliosexual is kinda iffy to me? i stumbled upon a guy who was skoliosexual and he was fetishizing the hell out of trans people (would reblog trans peoples selfies and always post unwanted sexual comments) and like...idk how to feel about it tbh. we're not all one gender... 

what are your opinion on this? i mean the same could be said to any sexuality but this one feels a bit different you know? theyre not really attracted to our gender but rather the fact that were trans?? if you get what im sayin


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> stumbled upon a sexuality and like.. im not really sure how to feel about it
> 
> "Skoliosexual: attracted to genderqueer and transsexual people and expressions (people who aren’t identified as cisgender)"
> now that just weirds me out a bit... like i understand if youre trans and youre looking to date people who share the same experiences with you, but cis people who are skoliosexual is kinda iffy to me? i stumbled upon a guy who was skoliosexual and he was fetishizing the hell out of trans people (would reblog trans peoples selfies and always post unwanted sexual comments) and like...idk how to feel about it tbh. we're not all one gender...
> 
> what are your opinion on this? i mean the same could be said to any sexuality but this one feels a bit different you know? theyre not really attracted to our gender but rather the fact that were trans?? if you get what im sayin


i heard about this too, i feel like it's just fetishizing trans people.


----------



## ghostbab

I've never heard of that sexuality before but it's a little off putting like you said it seems like that would open to a lot of fetishization :/


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> stumbled upon a sexuality and like.. im not really sure how to feel about it
> 
> "Skoliosexual: attracted to genderqueer and transsexual people and expressions (people who aren?t identified as cisgender)"
> now that just weirds me out a bit... like i understand if youre trans and youre looking to date people who share the same experiences with you, but cis people who are skoliosexual is kinda iffy to me? i stumbled upon a guy who was skoliosexual and he was fetishizing the hell out of trans people (would reblog trans peoples selfies and always post unwanted sexual comments) and like...idk how to feel about it tbh. we're not all one gender...
> 
> what are your opinion on this? i mean the same could be said to any sexuality but this one feels a bit different you know? theyre not really attracted to our gender but rather the fact that were trans?? if you get what im sayin



Nope, bye.
in reference to trans people; we are Male and female, so its offensive.. we are not a separate category
ive had so many fetish people on tumblr its sick

- - - Post Merge - - -

Plus how can they be immediately attracted to us?
you cant tell a lot of trans people are trans so...


"You can’t tell if a person is trans or cis from straight up. It’s treating us like we aren’t normal people or that our genders aren’t really valid but are more of a sexy quirk."


----------



## Amalthea

tsundere said:


> stumbled upon a sexuality and like.. im not really sure how to feel about it
> 
> "Skoliosexual: attracted to genderqueer and transsexual people and expressions (people who aren?t identified as cisgender)"
> now that just weirds me out a bit... like i understand if youre trans and youre looking to date people who share the same experiences with you, but cis people who are skoliosexual is kinda iffy to me? i stumbled upon a guy who was skoliosexual and he was fetishizing the hell out of trans people (would reblog trans peoples selfies and always post unwanted sexual comments) and like...idk how to feel about it tbh. we're not all one gender...
> 
> what are your opinion on this? i mean the same could be said to any sexuality but this one feels a bit different you know? theyre not really attracted to our gender but rather the fact that were trans?? if you get what im sayin


Yeah, never heard of this before now, but this definitely makes me very uncomfortable. It comes across as clumping all non-normative gender identities together as just one group of "cool and edgy taboo people who shun society's expectations". Cis people who identify as skoliosexual is definitely very, _very_ questionable. This certainly isn't the same as having a preference in your partners(many queer/trans/nonbinary/genderqueer individuals feel safer with a partner who also shares those same experiences). This screams objectification and trans/queer fetishization to me.


----------



## Manah

Makes me feel like a lot of people don't know what sexual attraction actually is. =/


----------



## Gizmodo

Manah said:


> Makes me feel like a lot of people don't know what sexual attraction actually is. =/



Ikr! so annoying


----------



## Marii

Manah said:


> Makes me feel like a lot of people don't know what sexual attraction actually is. =/



um I don't know about that
I'm pretty sure people know if they're sexually attracted to something or not
everyone has their kinks i guess but i feel like this is more of a* preference *than an actual, valid *sexuality*...
since, like it's been said, trans people ARE the gender they identify as, and they should be treated the same way as cis people in terms of attraction

but like, this is a super crazy and far-fetched example, but say there's like some straight girl or something and she is attracted to the male gender in general but she doesn't like penises so she prefers FTM guys. or the other way around, maybe someone doesn't like vaginas because he watched that crazy movie "Teeth" so he has like a phobia or something and therefore goes for MTF girls/women

weird examples but y'know, it's possible that in some people, it's not really a fetishization, but rather an aversion to specific genitalia??


----------



## oath2order

Well you guys are a little close-minded. They like trans people? So what? Its no different than having a preference to a certain race.


----------



## Marii

oath2order said:


> Well you guys are a little close-minded. They like trans people? So what? Its no different than having a preference to a certain race.



yeah lol basically this 
but i mean i think it's kinda different from race
maybe just like appearances in general


----------



## Gizmodo

No its not?
I am a t girl i am a GIRL..
therefore if a guy likes me, hes straight.. simple as that
no need to make it more specific than that..

Ive spoke to a few guys who like "t girls" and all they mean is they want a girl with a penis for some sick fetish.. they dont want them to be a "girl" and dont treat them like an actual girl...
They always are so shocked when im like yup im trans but i dont want a penis, that wil be going
ugh it drive me so INSANE

- - - Post Merge - - -

'And therefore goes for mtf women.'. But a lot of mtf women will get a vagina! So they can't have a blanket statement on preferring them due to having a penis! 
And it can't be based on 'appearance' as lots of t girls look no different to any natal female

- - - Post Merge - - -

AND if someone is capable of being attracted to people who don't identify as a gender surely  they are just pan sexual! Not this term


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Well you guys are a little close-minded. They like trans people? So what? Its no different than having a preference to a certain race.



having a prefernce to a race is bad as well wtf. you cant write off all races as the same and say "well i like asian girls the best bc theyre quiet and hot" because all asian girls are different. or "i dont date black people because theyre all loud and ugly" because all black people look different ??
its the same for trans people?? why are they attracted to the fact that we're trans?? it doesnt change who we are. they are not attracted to our gender, theyre attracted to the fact that we're trans. 

and no it cant be about genitals . because trans women and men can get surgery. 

i hate whoever came up with this sexuality tbh. and now its becoming more popular more people are going to use it. the only reason someone should use this is that they were trans themselves.

@gizmodo theres a specific sexuality just for nonbinary people tho. pansexual means you like all genders.


----------



## Zeiro

oath2order said:


> Well you guys are a little close-minded. They like trans people? So what? Its no different than having a preference to a certain race.


that's not ok at all


----------



## ghostbab

tsundere, you put into words everything that i was thinking and couldn't articulate.
also if you think having a preference towards a certain race is okay, you're surely mistaken


----------



## Marii

Gizmodo said:


> AND if someone is capable of being attracted to people who don't identify as a gender surely  they are just pan sexual! Not this term


not necessarily
they could be not attracted to cis people
that wouldn't make them pan


----------



## KarlaKGB

tsundere said:


> having a prefernce to a race is bad as well wtf. you cant write off all races as the same and say "well i like asian girls the best bc theyre quiet and hot" because all asian girls are different. or "i dont date black people because theyre all loud and ugly" because all black people look different ??


I'm generally not attracted to asian girls. despite being asian. Deal with it. It's not racism.


----------



## mccorgi

trans people are allowed to have an aversion to cis people romantically, sexually or even just in general. it's understandable and justified. but i've never even heard of skoliosexuality and the majority of my dash on tumblr concerns sexuality and gender identities? as a trans person i definitely don't think it's okay for cis people to fetishize trans people because it alienates us and reduces us to some 'exotic kink' and that's hecka dehumanizing.


----------



## Marii

tsundere said:


> and no it cant be about genitals . because trans women and men can get surgery.


i'm sure not all "skoliosexuals" are the same, and while trans people can and do get surgery, not ALL of them do. that's just one possible explanation that i just threw out there 



tsundere said:


> the only reason someone should use this is that they were trans themselves.


double-standards much?


----------



## Zeiro

KarlaKGB said:


> I'm generally not attracted to asian girls. despite being asian. Deal with it. It's not racism.


she never said it was racism.


----------



## KarlaKGB

Reizo said:


> she never said it was racism.



Irrelevant. Why is it unacceptable to find certain features more attractive than others?


----------



## mccorgi

Reizo said:


> she never said it was racism.



tsundere prefers they/them pronouns not she/her!! also please stay on topic!


----------



## Zeiro

mccorgi said:


> tsundere prefers they/them pronouns not she/her!! also please stay on topic!


i'm sorry, i apologize. i merely forgot.


----------



## Ashtot

What's going on fill me in.


----------



## Alice

Reizo said:


> I wasn't making fun of them either, I was just confused as to how someone could identify as an inanimate object.



I am a lamp post.


----------



## Gizmodo

Idk i just think if you're not trans you dont get to decide what is acceptable or not ikd
every trans person i has spoke to about this me included, is deeply offended over this label and does think it reduces us to some kink and fetish
but whatever oh well i doubt its going to gain much popularity and be used in every day life, only on tumblr so


----------



## radical6

Marii said:


> i'm sure not all "skoliosexuals" are the same, and while trans people can and do get surgery, not ALL of them do. that's just one possible explanation that i just threw out there
> 
> 
> double-standards much?



trans people have the right to only date trans people because they can be goddamn terrified of cis people. im personally fine with dating cis people but i have no problem with trans people only dating trans people because cis people can do some pretty terrible things to them. so can trans people but they know its less likely that they'll be hearing transphobia from a trans person (unless you know they're truscum)
cis people on the other hand have no reason.



KarlaKGB said:


> Irrelevant. Why is it unacceptable to find certain features more attractive than others?



because you're writing off millions of people who all look different all because of skin color??? 



Reizo said:


> i'm sorry, i apologize. i merely forgot.


its ok


----------



## KarlaKGB

Ashtot said:


> What's going on fill me in.



Too many people with rose-tinted glasses who think we live in a utopia where everyone should love each other unequivocally and you shouldn't express any sort of preference towards certain features or characteristics.

Good luck with that. We as a race and as intelligent, independent sentient beings are predisposed to be prejudiced. It's a form of common sense and a defence mechanism. This is not a bad thing. The only way to stop that is if by stripping away our individuality. There are too many do-gooder social engineers who have no grounding in reality.


----------



## Gizmodo

(on the plus side some cis guy called me pretty today and said ppl will never know lol, so yay to that cis man.. i wish every single trans person on tumblr had an experience like that, im not afraid.. if a crimes going to happen it is i suppose, just gotta live life each day at a time)


----------



## KarlaKGB

tsundere said:


> because you're writing off millions of people who all look different all because of skin color???



Yes. I also write off millions of people with other characteristics that I don't find desirable. Are you going to deny doing the same yourself?


----------



## Marii

mccorgi said:


> as a trans person i definitely don't think it's okay for cis people to fetishize trans people because it alienates us and reduces us to some 'exotic kink' and that's hecka dehumanizing.



ok so like

say, for example, you are a straight male
you are sexually attracted to females
does that mean you like females just because they are females? no, they all tend to have certain similar qualities/appearances; granted, you may not like females who look/act masculine, or who have features that are generally unattractive to you.
is it impossible for you to be attracted to a male who absolutely epitomizes everything about what femininity is to you? no, you could see past it and be attracted either way, or you might not even know

now say you are a skoliosexual person
you are sexually attracted to trans people
does that mean you like trans people just because they're trans? no
etc.

it's a _preference_. if i say that i prefer my sexual partners to be women with long hair, it doesn't mean i have a fetish for their hair, and i'm not dehumanizing them. have you ever liked something and not known necessarily why?


----------



## ghostbab

Sorry but if a person wanted to date you and they were everything you wanted in a partner but you didn't date them because of their ethnicity that _is_  racism, but this isn't what this board is about, you can have your prejudices but don't pretend that they're okay or acceptable please.


----------



## Gizmodo

KarlaKGB said:


> Yes. I also write off millions of people with other characteristics that I don't find desirable. Are you going to deny doing the same yourself?



Not going to lie i have preferences everyone does, definitely doesnt make me racist..
I just find it different with that trans label because Literally i just dont see how its possible to group us all together? when ones have had surgery, ones look more like a natal sex and pass 100% others dont etc, idk im just so confused i just feel by a guy saying he likes t girls, or a girl saying it ,we are not being treated as girls/guys like we are wanting to, we are being subdivided into a little group idk its weird
whilst with preferneces, i prefer dark hair, its not as detrimental to someone with blonde hair if i have that preference thna if people use this trans label

Im not making any sense but i just think its a whole different problem this trans label than someone having a preference to race or something
idk im confused now


----------



## KarlaKGB

ghostbab said:


> Sorry but if a person wanted to date you and they were everything you wanted in a partner but you didn't date them because of their ethnicity that _is_ literally racism, but this isn't what this board is about, you can have your prejudices but don't pretend that they're okay or acceptable please.



Replace ethnicity with height. Or red hair. Or freckly. Or any other feature.


----------



## Gizmodo

Marii said:


> ok so like
> 
> say, for example, you are a straight male
> you are sexually attracted to females
> does that mean you like females just because they are females? no, they all tend to have certain similar qualities/appearances; granted, you may not like females who look/act masculine, or who have features that are generally unattractive to you.
> is it impossible for you to be attracted to a male who absolutely epitomizes everything about what femininity is to you? no, you could see past it and be attracted either way, or you might not even know
> 
> now say you are a skoliosexual person
> you are sexually attracted to trans people
> does that mean you like trans people just because they're trans? no
> etc.
> 
> it's a _preference_. if i say that i prefer my sexual partners to be women with long hair, it doesn't mean i have a fetish for their hair, and i'm not dehumanizing them. have you ever liked something and not known necessarily why?



But whats the sexual difference between the girl and t girl?
Lets say the t girl looks identical to the girl completely
So hes attracted to her bc of what shes been through as a t girl? and because she used to have a penis, or doesnt have a womb or something?
i just dont get it?? whats the difference between them to have that preference? how can he make that division, what makes her more attrracted i dont get it?
I can see ones who have the kink for those who used to have a penis BUT when a t girl has a vagina functions like any other natal girl whats the difference?


----------



## Marii

Gizmodo said:


> Idk i just think if you're not trans you dont get to decide what is acceptable or not ikd



specify? i don't get why my cissexuality should disqualify me from logically debating


----------



## mccorgi

KarlaKGB said:


> Replace ethnicity with height. Or red hair. Or freckly. Or any other feature.



except race has been used against people to institutionally oppress them? people of color have been enslaved and stripped of their humanity for centuries but that hasn't happened to people with freckles specifically. race is not just another physical feature. race is part of identity and power structure. and that's what makes it racist.


----------



## ghostbab

mccorgi said:


> except race has been used against people to institutionally oppress them? people of color have been enslaved and stripped of their humanity for centuries but that hasn't happened to people with freckles specifically. race is not just another physical feature. race is part of identity and power structure.



Exactly, their not even on par with race those are just features.


----------



## Trundle

hahaha you guys are so stupid with all your dehumanization terms
Anything that is being made by humans that isn't taking away their basic human nature can't be considered dehumanizing. In WWII, at places like Auschwitz and other concentration camps, people were dehumanized by separation of family, removal of beliefs and hopes, etc. You can't define dehumanization by being looked at differently because some people are attracted to a certain thing in that way. Stop trying to make sexual preference that big of a deal. Your craving for attention is leaking everywhere.


----------



## Gizmodo

I just feel most trans people me included in a relationship just want:
to be viewed identical to the gender we are

I would want a guy to date me because i am a girl, i wouldnt want me being trans to play any factor at all into it, he likes me because i'm a girl, just like he would date a girl who was infertile..
me being trans literally would not be a factor involved.. Skoliosexuality makes the trans person that defining factor and does segregate them and i dont like that
literally though on tumblr ive seen like 10 posts so it cant be that big


----------



## Zeiro

KarlaKGB said:


> We as a race and as intelligent, independent sentient beings are predisposed to be prejudiced. It's a form of common sense and a defence mechanism.


But that doesn't mean it's right to openly _express_ that prejudice. _That_ is "common sense".


----------



## Ashtot

mccorgi said:


> except race has been used against people to institutionally oppress them? people of color have been enslaved and stripped of their humanity for centuries but that hasn't happened to people with freckles specifically. race is not just another physical feature. race is part of identity and power structure. and that's what makes it racist.



Are you saying that women in particular shouldn't be found attractive because they've been oppressed? I'm confused...


----------



## Gizmodo

Marii said:


> specify? i don't get why my cissexuality should disqualify me from logically debating



But you're making up random variables of stories without real backing? thats why
you need experience from actual trans people imo, to get their viewpoint on the label, and also we need a skoliosexual to explain fully really..
the debates pretty pointless when i think about it, its all just based on what if's and no solid proof or evidence
so its not a logical debate, yes there may be some people who are ok with the skoliosexuality label but on the whole i just really dont tink its something that should be openly used, as it breaks down the barriers of trans women being viewed as completely equal to normal women, thats how i feel, and i genuinely dont think it will be
Your Cissexuality means you honestly have no idea how it feels to constantly have to hear all these fetishes of people only wanting to talk to you, due to your backstory, they dont care whatsoever about other interests, you previously having or still having a **** is the sole talking point and its offensive
this skoliosexuality Label puts that as the main focus


----------



## KarlaKGB

mccorgi said:


> except race has been used against people to institutionally oppress them? people of color have been enslaved and stripped of their humanity for centuries but that hasn't happened to people with freckles specifically. race is not just another physical feature. race is part of identity and power structure.



Oh great, this argument. Why am I obliged to owe something to a group that has been historically oppressed? How is this even relevant? I'm not passing a law discriminating against black people. I just want to find a mate. What gives anyone the right to say my set of standards less acceptable than their set of standards?


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> having a prefernce to a race is bad as well wtf. you cant write off all races as the same and say "well i like asian girls the best bc theyre quiet and hot" because all asian girls are different. or "i dont date black people because theyre all loud and ugly" because all black people look different ??
> its the same for trans people?? why are they attracted to the fact that we're trans?? it doesnt change who we are. they are not attracted to our gender, theyre attracted to the fact that we're trans.
> 
> and no it cant be about genitals . because trans women and men can get surgery.
> 
> i hate whoever came up with this sexuality tbh. and now its becoming more popular more people are going to use it. the only reason someone should use this is that they were trans themselves.
> 
> @gizmodo theres a specific sexuality just for nonbinary people tho. pansexual means you like all genders.



No it's not bad. You can be sexually attracted to the color of one's skin. It's hysterical how hypocritical you are of differing sexualities. It's pretty much the same as liking people with a certain hair color, or being turned on by other physical attributes.



tsundere said:


> why are they attracted to the fact that we're trans??



Why are gay men attracted to men? Why are straight men attracted to women? It's just what they're into.


----------



## KarlaKGB

The people who criticise me for not being into people of a certain race treat it as if it's an unacceptable mental disorder that can be corrected. Sound familiar?


----------



## oak

Gizmodo said:


> I just feel most trans people me included in a relationship just want:
> to be viewed identical to the gender we are


Definitely feel the same way. I don't wanna be known for being trans, or have someone drawn to me because I was trans. Being known as a trans man makes people treat me different, I just want to be a regular guy. If someone was like "I think you being trans is hot" i'd be like uhhhhhgross get away from me. I think maybe it would be okay if a trans person only wanted to date other trans people for safety reasons or they understood them on a personnal level?


----------



## Trundle

I only find white people attractive. Consider me racist!!


----------



## Marii

Gizmodo said:


> But you're making up random variables of stories without real backing? thats why
> you need experience from actual trans people imo, to get their viewpoint on the label, and also we need a skoliosexual to explain fully really..
> the debates pretty pointless when i think about it, its all just based on what if's and no solid proof or evidence
> so its not a logical debate, yes there may be some people who are ok with the skoliosexuality label but on the whole i just really dont tink its something that should be openly used, as it breaks down the barriers of trans women being viewed as completely equal to normal women, thats how i feel, and i genuinely dont think it will be
> Your Cissexuality means you honestly have no idea how it feels to constantly have to hear all these fetishes of people only wanting to talk to you, due to your backstory, they dont care whatsoever about other interests, you previously having or still having a **** is the sole talking point and its offensive
> this skoliosexuality Label puts that as the main focus



i'm stating things that are definitely possible, why should i need backing?
how do you know the extent of my experience and knowledge? my best friend is trans and she isn't nearly as easily offended as some of the people on here are
i may not have been through the same situation but i have had people make sexual advances on me simply for being an asian girl
i have been through a SIMILAR situation at least
you don't know what i've been through either, so i kinda don't think you have the right to say that i am incapable of empathizing with you or understanding this specific situation, even though i've been through similar things


----------



## Gizmodo

noahmeow said:


> Definitely feel the same way. I don't wanna be known for being trans, or have someone drawn to me because I was trans. Being known as a trans man makes people treat me different, I just want to be a regular guy. If someone was like "I think you being trans is hot" i'd be like uhhhhhgross get away from me. I think maybe it would be okay if a trans person only wanted to date other trans people for safety reasons or they understood them on a person level?



THIS THIS THIS <3
i want a guy to start to like me and LOVE ME FOR ME.. and then find out im trans during this period, and then if he still likes me thats perfect.
I want them to be attracted to me first off, and not the fact im trans!
Like i dont want being trans to be the defining point of me.. i will be able to live life without people knowing and hopefully that means that wont be the case


----------



## ghostbab

Trundle said:


> I only find white people attractive. Consider me racist!!



You got it!!


----------



## yosugay

ghostbab said:


> You got it!!


he just wants attention


----------



## radical6

man i shouldve never brought up the skoliosexual thing in the first place smh
and i never called any of you racist wtf



KarlaKGB said:


> Yes. I also write off millions of people with other characteristics that I don't find desirable. Are you going to deny doing the same yourself?



asian people dont have the same features?? all black people dont have the same features?? i dont get how someone can say they would never date a race because of features. how do you know what all of them look like??? 



Ashtot said:


> Are you saying that women in particular shouldn't be found attractive because they've been oppressed? I'm confused...


they never mentioned women? 



oath2order said:


> No it's not bad. You can be sexually attracted to the color of one's skin. It's hysterical how hypocritical you are of differing sexualities. It's pretty much the same as liking people with a certain hair color, or being turned on by other physical attributes.
> 
> Why are gay men attracted to men? Why are straight men attracted to women? It's just what they're into.



uh no but race is something people cant control. if someone didnt like glasses, that person with glasses could take them off. they could dye their hair if they didnt like redheads. but you cant take race off. you're stuck with it.

ok but gay men are attracted to men. theyre attracted to a gender. skoliosexuality is not the same. its not one gender or a gender at all. theyre just attracted to the fact that people are trans???

this thread isnt about race though i was simply using that to compare with the other sexuality so idk why this is even an issue


----------



## oak

Gizmodo said:


> THIS THIS THIS <3
> i want a guy to start to like me and LOVE ME FOR ME.. and then find out im trans during this period, and then if he still likes me thats perfect.
> I want them to be attracted to me first off, and not the fact im trans!
> Like i dont want being trans to be the defining point of me.. i will be able to live life without people knowing and hopefully that means that wont be the case


Ikr! Living stealth is the best way for me. It's like when people find out i'm trans in real life, they forget their manners & bombard me with uncomfortable questions.


----------



## Trundle

ghostbab said:


> You got it!!



racist - a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another.
I don't believe either is superior. I'm just only attracted to white people. It's a preference. I still think all races are equal. Not racist, you're just a ******.


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> uh no but race is something people cant control. if someone didnt like glasses, that person with glasses could take them off. they could dye their hair if they didnt like redheads. but you cant take race off. you're stuck with it.
> 
> ok but gay men are attracted to men. theyre attracted to a gender. skoliosexuality is not the same. its not one gender or a gender at all. theyre just attracted to the fact that people are trans???
> 
> this thread isnt about race though i was simply using that to compare with the other sexuality so idk why this is even an issue



hair color isn't something you can control. Sure you can dye it but it goes back to the previous color eventually.

You're a hypocrite. I thought you were open minded to other sexualities. Turns out, guess not.


----------



## mccorgi

can we please drop racism in this thread? this is meant for lgbtqa+ topics and i would like to stop arguing now.


----------



## Gizmodo

noahmeow said:


> Ikr! Living stealth is the best way for me. It's like when people find out i'm trans in real life, they forget their manners & bombard me with uncomfortable questions.



Exactly<3 i plan to live in stealth completely
just  this whole label goes back to our whole preoccupation being on surgery and how we are and just grr
god i hope i can find a guy who accepts trans as part of me, but sees me as a girl as the whole me, and it just isnt that big of a consideration
PM me btw ^^


----------



## ghostbab

Trundle said:


> racist - a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another.
> I don't believe either is superior. I'm just only attracted to white people. It's a preference. I still think all races are equal. Not racist, you're just a ******.



Racist and ableist nice dude, I'm done talking to you because you're set in your ways there's no point.


Yes let's please move on and stay on topic! ^-^


----------



## KarlaKGB

tsundere said:


> asian people dont have the same features?? all black people dont have the same features?? i dont get how someone can say they would never date a race because of features. how do you know what all of them look like???


Ok let me put it another way. I have been attracted to very very few asian girls in my life. I don't consciously go 'oh they're asian, NOPE', but empirically, over a significant sample size throughout my life, I can quite safely say that I am not attracted to asian girls. It's just the way I am. Everyone has their preferences. You have no control over it. Ask a gay man why he likes ****. Beyond any superficial answers, deep down, they don't know. Same for me, I can't give any specific reason for why I prefer the things I do.


----------



## Zeiro

Trundle said:


> racist - a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another.
> I don't believe either is superior. I'm just only attracted to white people. It's a preference. I still think all races are equal. Not racist, you're just a ******.


racism is institutionalized in our society. put the dictionary down little boy.



mccorgi said:


> can we please drop racism in this thread? this is meant for lgbtqa+ topics and i would like to stop arguing now.


exactly, and it is meant to be a support thread as well. everyone needs to just stop, we don't care what races you're attracted to and what races you're not attracted to. this is NOT the place to discuss this.


----------



## Trundle

[21:23] <Reizo> oh, it's just the lil white boy
[21:23] <Reizo> figures

Your leader, Reizo, is racist


----------



## Gizmodo

"Your Leader"
sorry but i disagree with Tsundere, Reizo etc on this whole race subject, so just because we are under this thread, we certainly dont agree and have a leader lol


----------



## Trundle

[21:27] <Reizo> it's not possible to be racist against white people
HAHAHAHAHA


----------



## mccorgi

new subject! do you guys have support systems at home, in school, or in your community? my school has a gsa sponsored by my art teacher. each year i give a presentation on trans people and how to support/treat/view/include us. it's received very well and on each slide i put a picture of beyonce for no particular reason, i just really love beyonce. but next year i think it would be more appropriate to put a picture of laverne cox on each slide since it would be relevant and laverne cox is pretty much wonder woman.


----------



## KarlaKGB

KarlaKGB said:


> The people who criticise me for not being into people of a certain race treat it as if it's an unacceptable mental disorder that can be corrected. Sound familiar?



Still nobody has responded to this point. What difference is there between that, and saying a gay person is mentally ill and can be cured?


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> hair color isn't something you can control. Sure you can dye it but it goes back to the previous color eventually.
> 
> You're a hypocrite. I thought you were open minded to other sexualities. Turns out, guess not.



im open to all sexualites except this one. theyre not attracted to a gender. we're not all one gender. just what about being trans is attractive? like..this is different than a lesbian being attracted to women. that lesbian likes women. but this skoliosexual likes trans people. but trans people arent one gender?? pansexual, bisexual, lesbian etc are all attracted to genders. skoliosexual isnt.



KarlaKGB said:


> Ok let me put it another way. I have been attracted to very very few asian girls in my life. I don't consciously go 'oh they're asian, NOPE', but empirically, over a significant sample size throughout my life, I can quite safely say that I am not attracted to asian girls. It's just the way I am. Everyone has their preferences. You have no control over it. Ask a gay man why he likes ****. Beyond any superficial answers, deep down, they don't know. Same for me, I can't give any specific reason for why I prefer the things I do.



ok thats fine you havent met many asians girls you've been attracted to??? i havent met very many white people im attracted to but im not going to say that ill never date a white person? because i dont know what all of them look like. what if i come across a white person that i might find attractive? its fine that you dont think every asian girl you come across is attractive but saying that you'll never date one because of a few is bad?? idk if you really want to continue this argument we can do it in pm


----------



## Kaiaa

I'm closing this thread for a moment as I've been informed there was a huge argument. It will be reopened after things have been dealt with, until then please be patient.


----------



## Caius

So I’ve just gotten done reading up on what happened here. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for acting like this. What is this thread about? *Understanding, support, and above all equality despite what you perceive about difference*. Do you know what you all have in common? You’re people. Human. Beings. What does that mean? If you’re Cis, Trans, whatever you want to label yourself, you’re still a HUMAN BEING and need to ACT like one with some shred of decency. 

You’re here to get support for who you are, not what you are. So if you’re going to keep adding labels and claiming others as racists then you need to get your facts straight. What you have in your pants and what you like sexually is NOT a race. It’s a preference or a biological difference to your SEX. NOT your RACE.

Genderism isn’t tolerated in this thread. If you don’t know what that is you need to do some research. You’re in the wrong thread to begin with. Non-binary discrimination isn’t tolerated here either. NO SEXISM IS TOLERATED.

Agender, Bigen, Cis, Pan, Trans, Tri, whatever. You’re people. You’re supposed to be using this thread to have similar interests. Not to blow up at each other. If I catch it again, this thread will be closed for good. Everyone involved will be suspended. No, that is not a “ZRism.” That is a UNANIMOUS decision. Don’t. Just Don’t.

You’re all walking on thin ice. This thread was kept open because we’re tolerant of your beliefs and want you to feel comfortable. So of course, it’s only fair that if you muck that up, the thread’s gone plain and simple. It’s an ANIMAL CROSSING FORUM.

That’s all. 




Below is required as some homework for the following people: *KarlaKGB, Trundle, Gizmodo, ghostbab, mccorgi, Marii*. This is to be done before posting in this thread again. I require long, well thought out answers. I will give you the say-so to go ahead and post here. Have an apology ready for the entire thread. I don't want you to post your answers in the thread, but pm them to me personally. Well, thought out responses to the below questions:

*VOCABULARY:*

_Genderism
Sexism
Non-Binary Discrimination
Attraction
Opinion_

*Long Response:*

Do you consider it discrimination if you identify with a certain set, and someone does not feel the same way? If so why? If so why not?


----------



## analytic

So... Uh... Yeeeeeaaaahhhh... Let's discuss something safe, like what we do in our communities to help the LGBTQA+ community, yeah? For example, funding a support group at your school, or making announcements about it? I think that's a safe topic to start fresh with, right Zr?
Anyway. Let's start with that. I myself have made a petition to make a support group for my next year of highschool.


----------



## Solar

There is an awesome support group at my school called SAGA (straight and gay alliance) and they do some really awesome fundraising like selling T-Shirts where they say: I am Straight. I am Gay I am Bisexual I am Human. And it pretty much looks exactly like that with the strikethroughs and all and it's all around amazing


----------



## Zura

So this is a thing now?


----------



## radical6

analytic said:


> So... Uh... Yeeeeeaaaahhhh... Let's discuss something safe, like what we do in our communities to help the LGBTQA+ community, yeah? For example, funding a support group at your school, or making announcements about it? I think that's a safe topic to start fresh with, right Zr?
> Anyway. Let's start with that. I myself have made a petition to make a support group for my next year of highschool.


was thinking about starting a group at school but eh. not too sure about the reactions i would receive



Vaati said:


> So this is a thing now?


what are you talking about


----------



## Mewmewmewm

analytic said:


> So... Uh... Yeeeeeaaaahhhh... Let's discuss something safe, like what we do in our communities to help the LGBTQA+ community, yeah? For example, funding a support group at your school, or making announcements about it? I think that's a safe topic to start fresh with, right Zr?
> Anyway. Let's start with that. I myself have made a petition to make a support group for my next year of highschool.


My school has technically has one run by our councilor. Its more of a group support/bullying type thing. Many in the group though have been ridiculed for their sexuality.  I go with my bi friend because shes too scared of what people will think of her if she goes alone, so i want to make sure to support her so she knows i'm not going to judge her.

But the group itself is pretty fun. Its a lot like personal counseling, but everyones in a group and goes around telling their stories. The group promises not to tell anyone else about things that have been shared and not to judge each other for something that is completely natural. 

However i really wish the kids in my school would be smarter and more mature about issues like these. I hate it when kids say "ohmigosh, thats so gayyyy" as if that words an 'insult'. Then several of my still in the closet friends feel even worse about themselves. I kinda wish i could do more to support my friends because i really don't want them to think that i don't understand them or I'm going to look down on them in any way.


----------



## goodra

ah i'd love to be in a school group like that but no schools here have clubs made by students so it's out of the question. and at my current school everyone's pretty homophobic so ?? ehh maybe it would've worked as an unofficial thing in the school i was in last year since quite a bit of the students weren't straight

as for helping, there's not a lot i can do since im closeted and live with my transphobic and homophobic mom ssssso. um, once at school we had a debate on if gay marriage should be legal or not (suprisingly the teacher wasn't homophobic. a new experience) and i kept making arguments for it, even mentioned non-straight couples with a trans person that could have kids of their own bc of that, etc but it pretty much went ignored since lots of people in the class didn't even know what being trans meant. if anything it just made everyone see me as the school/class lesbian when i'm. not even a girl but. idk, maybe someone listened so i don't mind much


----------



## Sir Takoya

There was non-binary discrimination going on? Some people are going to get some virtual b-slaps.


----------



## chillv

Don't kill me, but I hate the fact that a lot these people and athiest people simply call me homophobic and transphobic or call me out for being Christian just because I don't advocate LGBT. Why won't these people stop being so confrontal and just accept that not everyone is going to be a yay-sayer to that kind of stuff.

I have nothing against these people. If they are a dude who wants to marry or being a dude, whatever, but don't go calling my beliefs out and shouting out homophobic to me.


----------



## mccorgi

chillv said:


> Don't kill me, but I hate the fact that a lot these people and athiest people simply call me homophobic and transphobic or call me out for being Christian just because I don't advocate LGBT. Why won't these people stop being so confrontal and just accept that not everyone is going to be a yay-sayer to that kind of stuff.
> 
> I have nothing against these people. If they are a dude who wants to marry or being a dude, whatever, but don't go calling my beliefs out and shouting out homophobic to me.



we just want to be supported and respected. if people lash out at you, please understand that they've faced a lot of discrimination and they have a difficult time trusting those that don't support and respect them.


----------



## Alice

I've always been accepted. By my family, and even by my friends. I've never really felt the struggle others have when it comes to this, so I don't know what I could chime in. I wish you guys the best in finding yourselves and acceptance. It's always a worthy struggle.


----------



## Sir Takoya

I went to a new class today. No girls sat next to me. Typical.


----------



## chillv

mccorgi said:


> we just want to be supported and respected. if people lash out at you, please understand that they've faced a lot of discrimination and they have a difficult time trusting those that don't support and respect them.



Btw, this happened on gamefaqs


----------



## analytic

chillv said:


> Btw, this happened on gamefaqs



I'm really sorry that happened D: people tend to lash out in weakness, you know? we're all just upset and tired of being treated badly, and we're accidentally being really rude and a bit hypocritical (judging people for who they are). I'm sorry, again, but please try to understand.


----------



## chillv

analytic said:


> I'm really sorry that happened D: people tend to lash out in weakness, you know? we're all just upset and tired of being treated badly, and we're accidentally being really rude and a bit hypocritical (judging people for who they are). I'm sorry, again, but please try to understand.



The people weren't gay themselves, but athiest and/or advocates.


----------



## mccorgi

chillv said:


> The people weren't gay themselves, but athiest and/or advocates.



they're still defending us because they sympathize with the hardships we face. but i'm sorry if people were bashing your religion, that's not okay at all.


----------



## Caius

Religion isn't exactly the topic at hand. Let's get back to that, shall we.


----------



## analytic

Does anyone know if districts can ban certain things from being announced? Because that was my school's excuse for not announcing the a absolute shock of Texas (the state I live in) declaring the ban on gay marriage unconstitutional or the Day of Silence (which I don't particularly like, but still.) They also gave a firm no to my friend asking if there could be an LGBTQA+ support group because it was "too sexual". I'm really tired of schools giving all these excuses.


----------



## radical6

analytic said:


> Does anyone know if districts can ban certain things from being announced? Because that was my school's excuse for not announcing the a absolute shock of Texas (the state I live in) declaring the ban on gay marriage unconstitutional or the Day of Silence (which I don't particularly like, but still.) They also gave a firm no to my friend asking if there could be an LGBTQA+ support group because it was "too sexual". I'm really tired of schools giving all these excuses.



how is a LGBTQA+ group too sexual....wtf.... terrible excuse
but no i dont, sorry. i would just try to keep fighting i guess? make them run out of excuses to give you ok


----------



## jinyoung

wow, i just wanna say that tsundere is super cool and educated for their age.

also, as to stay on topic, i think that i might start identifying as agender again. i thought i was becoming more comfortable with being ~female~ but i'm really not. they/them pronouns have always been more appealing to me and i use them for everyone, until i find out their preference. i just think it suits me better and i feel more comfortable with it.

just geez... it must be so nice to be one of those cis/het people who never question any part of their identity, y'know?


----------



## Manah

It is nice if your gender is never questioned by anyone, but being cis/het doesn't mean you never question _any_ part of your identity. Gender/sexual orientation isn't everything you are, right?

That said, despite being gray asexual, I never really questions myself in this regard. I was either too busy figuring out the much bigger reason why I'm different from most people, or I simply don't care about others' sexuality/identity/general love life as much as far too many people do. Probably both.


----------



## jinyoung

that's why i said ~one of those~ cis/het people. i wouldn't be ignorant enough to assume none of them ever have identity crises. i probably should have put that, instead of any, but gender/sexuality are big struggles for me and everything else seems nonexistent comparatively. obviously, it's not the same for everyone, but it'd be nice to have some confidence in that regard. and ftr, i only specified cis/het, because those who don't question themselves are more likely to be accepted than a non-cis/queer person who has also never questioned themselves. does that make sense?

once i found out what grey-asexuality was, i had a big aha! moment, like yes, this is what i am. before that, i struggled a lot about what label fit me. sometimes, i still feel strange, despite knowing what i am, mostly because i'm easily overwhelmed on my grey days and feel more comfortable in my ace ones. and i constantly am questioning what my romantic preferences are. i always say panromantic, but i'm never sure if that's actually right, being as i'm quite fearful of most cis men and probably couldn't feel comfortable dating one. not that it natters, since i have a girlfriend, but yeah.


----------



## Gizmodo

What a surprise the thread died.. which is sad but was to be expected
Yup i shouldnt be posting since i havent done my PM yet but all i did was defend trans people i dont think i was that offensive  and besides this post is too update since im excited and i want to post!!
Tomorrow is my final appointment of like psychiatric analysis, and then in 4 weeks i have my appointment to get all my blood tests, and body scans and x-rays before i start treatment ^^
I'm scared lol, expecially of the body can.

If i get disciplined for posting here.. well i'll deal with it


----------



## oak

Gizmodo said:


> What a surprise the thread died.. which is sad but was to be expected
> Yup i shouldnt be posting since i havent done my PM yet but all i did was defend trans people i dont think i was that offensive  and besides this post is too update since im excited and i want to post!!
> Tomorrow is my final appointment of like psychiatric analysis, and then in 4 weeks i have my appointment to get all my blood tests, and body scans and x-rays before i start treatment ^^
> I'm scared lol, expecially of the body can.
> 
> If i get disciplined for posting here.. well i'll deal with it


Yeah the thread dying was pretty sad :/ Good luck in your weeks to come though! I wish you the best.


----------



## Mayor TB

I find it funny when cis people are like "why are we labeling ourselves so much!! its unneeded why cant we all be NORMAL :'(((" but then they post **** like "I identity as a supersmashzeldafrozendragon fan" or something like that and I just--


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

As a tried-and-true bisexual- I still love it when I get "you're just confused!" or "make up your mind!" Ferreal, though, I just love people. 

Also, I have the best boyfriend in the world- galaxy, even. But people are still kind of. "YOU'RE GOING TO CHEAT ON HIM BECAUSE YOU DON'T *REALLY* LIKE GUYS" and there are people who have legitimately thought that me being bisexual meant I was up for a threesome. 

I- was not. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but. This is not something to spring on somebody. 

Pardon the rambling.


----------



## Zeiro

Gizmodo said:


> What a surprise the thread died.. which is sad but was to be expected


A few people are scared to post.



Gizmodo said:


> and besides this post is too update since im excited and i want to post!! Tomorrow is my final appointment of like psychiatric analysis, and then in 4 weeks i have my appointment to get all my blood tests, and body scans and x-rays before i start treatment ^^
> I'm scared lol, expecially of the body can.


Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you!


----------



## Sir Takoya

Zr388 why u make thread die ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)﻿ 

You always scare all the children away with your scary signature.


----------



## radical6

jinyoung said:


> wow, i just wanna say that tsundere is super cool and educated for their age.
> 
> also, as to stay on topic, i think that i might start identifying as agender again. i thought i was becoming more comfortable with being ~female~ but i'm really not. they/them pronouns have always been more appealing to me and i use them for everyone, until i find out their preference. i just think it suits me better and i feel more comfortable with it.
> 
> just geez... it must be so nice to be one of those cis/het people who never question any part of their identity, y'know?



aw ty
tbh when i was like a kid i always felt out of place with my gender. then i was 11 or 12 i learned a little bit about trans people and i heard negative comments about them so i forced myself really hard to think im a girl..that lasted for like a year or two when i finally came to accept my own gender so i feel you there. 

and yeah i get kinda annoyed when cis people ask how its possible to be agender. im like sorry i dont live in your little bubble? i dont understand why the concept of nonbinary stuff is so hard for them? i truly dont. like they ask me 20 questions before they begin to wrap it around their heads.


----------



## oath2order

Its hard for some people to understand for the reason you just said. We all have our own little bubbles.


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> aw ty
> tbh when i was like a kid i always felt out of place with my gender. then i was 11 or 12 i learned a little bit about trans people and i heard negative comments about them so i forced myself really hard to think im a girl..that lasted for like a year or two when i finally came to accept my own gender so i feel you there.
> 
> and yeah i get kinda annoyed when cis people ask how its possible to be agender. im like sorry i dont live in your little bubble? i dont understand why the concept of nonbinary stuff is so hard for them? i truly dont. like they ask me 20 questions before they begin to wrap it around their heads.



Atleast they are asking questions.. thats good
it educates people..
Just like i dont know much about some religions, i dont know much about non binary people
it doesnt make me ignorant or anything, its good to learn, i dont think its good to complain about cis people in that respect, if they are hateful yes, but if they are showing an interest/trying to learn thats good!


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> Atleast they are asking questions.. thats good
> it educates people..
> Just like i dont know much about some religions, i dont know much about non binary people
> it doesnt make me ignorant or anything, its good to learn, i dont think its good to complain about cis people in that respect, if they are hateful yes, but if they are showing an interest/trying to learn thats good!



Would you like a non binary Q and A with me?


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Its hard for some people to understand for the reason you just said. We all have our own little bubbles.



tbh i blame it all on how we assign gender and peoples harmful views on gender because you know..hate is passed down. if we got rid of that then those little bubbles will go away 



Gizmodo said:


> Atleast they are asking questions.. thats good
> it educates people..
> Just like i dont know much about some religions, i dont know much about non binary people
> it doesnt make me ignorant or anything, its good to learn, i dont think its good to complain about cis people in that respect, if they are hateful yes, but if they are showing an interest/trying to learn thats good!



ok but understanding the basic concept of a gender outside the binary isnt hard. i dont want people asking me what my parts are or when im going to get an operation. i dont want them to ask me what basic terms mean (like agender, amab etc) when they can go google it. yes, its great they are willing to learn. but when im willing to learn something i wont go ask someone to explain everything if i can look it up myself. i have friends who ask me the most simplest things when they can go google it. i have friends asking me to fight in their fights about things that dont even include them. (my cis friend asking me to go educate a transphobe..wtf)  so like.. im really tired having to explain things for people.


----------



## Amalthea

Speaking as someone with a lot of close friends who have a lot of privilege, it can be very difficult for them to grasp concepts of oppression and non-normative identities. Someone who was raised their entire life only being taught the gender binary will most likely not immediately understand or accept the concept of non-binary genders when introduced to them. It is the same logic that causes the immediate hostility in people of oppressive groups when hearing generalized statements made against oppressors; i.e., when men take personal offense to statements like "I hate men". It doesn't mean they need to be coddled for it and led by the hand into knowledge, but it is a natural reaction to have.

But you really can't just tell people to google things. The most accurate and helpful resources on subjects of oppression usually aren't popular or widespread enough to be found in the top google results, and you'll always get a lot of conflicting information. The best source for education on topics of oppression is more often than not a member of that oppressed group in particular. But at the same time, their identity is not a commodity and it is not their obligation to constantly have to justify and validate their existence to everyone around them.

It's a tricky situation. I do understand and 100% sympathize with the frustration and stress from other people of oppressed and non-normative groups with educating the privileged. My personal stance is that I always try to educate whenever and wherever I can. I am personally comfortable with people coming to me with questions about my identity; I would rather help them to understand then turn them away and have them grow hostile and more likely to oppose the social justice movement as a result.

I do think that cis people(and straight/white/male/abled/etc people of other privileges) should be encouraged to seek education, and I find that being level-headed and polite and patient is the best way to communicate information in a way that benefits both parties, but at the same time I am also aware of the fact that being treated as an oddity or an expert and infallible information dispenser can be incredibly agitating and stressful. I do feel like people of non-normative identities shouldn't be expected to explain their existence to those around them, but at the same time, there is no better way for education and information to be spread.


----------



## radical6

Faery said:


> Speaking as someone with a lot of close friends who have a lot of privilege, it can be very difficult for them to grasp concepts of oppression and non-normative identities. Someone who was raised their entire life only being taught the gender binary will most likely not immediately understand or accept the concept of non-binary genders when introduced to them. It is the same logic that causes the immediate hostility in people of oppressive groups when hearing generalized statements made against oppressors; i.e., when men take personal offense to statements like "I hate men". It doesn't mean they need to be coddled for it and led by the hand into knowledge, but it is a natural reaction to have.
> 
> But you really can't just tell people to google things. The most accurate and helpful resources on subjects of oppression usually aren't popular or widespread enough to be found in the top google results, and you'll always get a lot of conflicting information. The best source for education on topics of oppression is more often than not a member of that oppressed group in particular. But at the same time, their identity is not a commodity and it is not their obligation to constantly have to justify and validate their existence to everyone around them.
> 
> It's a tricky situation. I do understand and 100% sympathize with the frustration and stress from other people of oppressed and non-normative groups with educating the privileged. My personal stance is that I always try to educate whenever and wherever I can. I am personally comfortable with people coming to me with questions about my identity; I would rather help them to understand then turn them away and have them grow hostile and more likely to oppose the social justice movement as a result.
> 
> I do think that cis people(and straight/white/male/abled/etc people of other privileges) should be encouraged to seek education, and I find that being level-headed and polite and patient is the best way to communicate information in a way that benefits both parties, but at the same time I am also aware of the fact that being treated as an oddity or an expert and infallible information dispenser can be incredibly agitating and stressful. I do feel like people of non-normative identities shouldn't be expected to explain their existence to those around them, but at the same time, there is no better way for education and information to be spread.



when i tell them to google i mostly mean those who at least know some good sites for information. if im speaking to someone irl, yes ill explain things. but i have higher standards for my friends online who very well know their privilege and other oppressed groups. seriously, if they follow social justice blogs they dont need to be asking me things. i had a friend who would ask me "hey what do i say to this transphobe??!?!?!/" or "omg why is the trans with an asterisk bad again!1!!11!!!" when they clearly had the resources online to find out why. idk. like if you can go find out information yourself just..please do it. im so tired of having people ask me basic questions when they have the answers.


----------



## PurplPanda

*My Argument on why Gay Marriage should be legal, at least in the United States*

Gay marriage is frequently the topic of discussion in many places, whether it be just an opinion or something political. I believe Gay Marriage should be legal. Why? Because of this:
In the United States Constitution, it says, "All men (and women) were created equal." This, I'm sure, includes gays and lesbians. If all men and women are created equal, why are some discriminated against? Why are some judged and casted out because of their sexuality? Why are some not able to pursue life, liberty, and happiness? The founding fathers of the United States have declared this. And I believe it should be carried out.

Well, some religions are against it, so we cant have it.

Really? Because another right of U.S. citizens is the freedom to worship as you wish. This means that you can choose whatever religion you want. This means that you have to look at the other side. If some religions are against it, then some religions must be for it too.

I am writing this for English class, and this is what I have so far. Thoughts?


----------



## oath2order

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/04/...-day-in-court-but-no-ones-there-to-defend-it/

Speaking of gay marriage, I love this. Basically Oregon's government was like "**** that we're not defending it."


----------



## Clara Oswald

My friend is really nervous about coming out to his parents and he keeps asking us about what to say, I'm straight myself so I can't really think of anything to say, can anyone help me help him?


----------



## radical6

Elliek said:


> My friend is really nervous about coming out to his parents and he keeps asking us about what to say, I'm straight myself so I can't really think of anything to say, can anyone help me help him?


well i havent come out about my gender yet but im gonna have to in a few days because my therapist is making me....

first he has to consider these things
1) (idk what hes coming out as but im assuming sexuality) do his parents support non straight people?
2) if they dont, is there a chance that they might kick him out or ground him?

always consider your own safety before coming out. its not worth the chance that your parents might put you in some anti gay/trans counseling to "fix" you.

if he thinks that he will be safe no matter what, then uh. i would find the right mood. and i would just plainly say it. like, just say it. dont go around in circles. just say "im (insert whatever)" and hope for the best.


----------



## Mayor TB

In my class, we've been watching movies about Anne Frank and no one has mentioned the fact that Anne Frank is bisexual. 
LOVE straight people and their denseness.


----------



## oath2order

Mayor TB said:


> In my class, we've been watching movies about Anne Frank and no one has mentioned the fact that Anne Frank is bisexual.
> LOVE straight people and their denseness.



Citation please? I've never heard of this.


----------



## matt

Mayor TB said:


> In my class, we've been watching movies about Anne Frank and no one has mentioned the fact that Anne Frank is bisexual.
> LOVE straight people and their denseness.



Cool I didn't knowthat


----------



## Mayor TB

oath2order said:


> Citation please? I've never heard of this.



On January 6, 1944, Anne wrote in her diary: "Once when I was spending the night at Jacque's, I could no longer restrain my curiosity about her body, which she'd always hidden from me and which I'd never seen. I asked her whether, as proof of our friendship, we could touch each other's breasts. Jacque refused. I also had a terrible desire to kiss her, which I did. Every time I see a female nude, such as the Venus in my art history book, I go into ecstasy. Sometimes I find them so exquisite I have to struggle to hold back my tears. If only I had a girlfriend!"


----------



## oath2order

And she talks about boys in the same way?


----------



## matt

You have provided evidence of gay sexuality. Please pRove the bisexuality


----------



## Mayor TB

oath2order said:


> And she talks about boys in the same way?



"These sorts of musings go far beyond the basic, "I wonder what it would be like" that most teens experience at some point or another. She expresses intense emotional, romantic and physical attraction that supersedes curiosity or experimentation. Seeing this alone, one might judge Anne Frank to have been exclusively gay-- but she liked boys, as well. Anne Frank's famous adolescent romance with Peter van Pels, who shared her confinement, is one of the best-known and remembered aspects of her life in hiding."

Source: http://voices.yahoo.com/anne-frank-was-bisexual-10475487.html


----------



## Clara Oswald

tsundere said:


> well i havent come out about my gender yet but im gonna have to in a few days because my therapist is making me....
> 
> first he has to consider these things
> 1) (idk what hes coming out as but im assuming sexuality) do his parents support non straight people?
> 2) if they dont, is there a chance that they might kick him out or ground him?
> 
> always consider your own safety before coming out. its not worth the chance that your parents might put you in some anti gay/trans counseling to "fix" you.
> 
> if he thinks that he will be safe no matter what, then uh. i would find the right mood. and i would just plainly say it. like, just say it. dont go around in circles. just say "im (insert whatever)" and hope for the best.



His grandad said he would kill himself if he was, I don't think his Dad or Nan are particularly supportive. We tried to tell him that's the best way to tell them but he wants a different way, thanks for the help


----------



## Mayor TB

Just gonna drift on away now since ya'll aren't engaging me anymore, like I expected you would.
Also, BTW, I'm not google; If you want to find out something, google it yourself. 
*Bye!*


----------



## radical6

Mayor TB said:


> In my class, we've been watching movies about Anne Frank and no one has mentioned the fact that Anne Frank is bisexual.
> LOVE straight people and their denseness.



im not jewish but ive heard bisexual jewish people get annoyed at it. idk. its cool that she had an attraction to girls, but jewish people dont like people emphasizing on the fact that shes bisexual. this mostly happened on tumblr a month ago when people only began to care about anne frank when someone said she might've been pan/bisexual. i dont really like pushing labels on dead people because we will never know what she wanted to identify as so yeah. i think its a cool thing that she might've been something else than a straight girl. its a shame they removed the text about her crushing on girls in the books though, so that probably explains why no one knows about it. but focusing on her sexuality rather than her story is kinda erasing jewish people idk.  



Elliek said:


> His grandad said he would kill himself if he was, I don't think his Dad or Nan are particularly supportive. We tried to tell him that's the best way to tell them but he wants a different way, thanks for the help



ok if his gran dad said something like that its probably not safe for him to come out until hes old enough to live on his own. but he can try if he really wants


----------



## Bulbadragon

Mayor TB said:


> In my class, we've been watching movies about Anne Frank and no one has mentioned the fact that Anne Frank is bisexual.
> LOVE straight people and their denseness.



Ah, but you see, when you are bisexual you have "straight privilege" and you're just "curious." Unless, of course, you are in a relationship with someone who's the same gender. Then you're gay with one foot in the closet. *strong sense of sarcasm* (Please do not take this seriously. I am bi and I have seen the following reasons why bi people aren't really bi or oppressed, etc.)


----------



## Amalthea

Mayor TB said:


> Just gonna drift on away now since ya'll aren't engaging me anymore, like I expected you would.
> Also, BTW, I'm not google; If you want to find out something, google it yourself.
> *Bye!*


If you present someone with new information, it's a bit unfair to refuse to talk to them immediately after because they're unfamiliar with it. I am also not really sure how it may have been relevant for people to discuss Anne Frank's sexuality if the topic was not already brought up in the movies you were watching. Her story is incredibly important and should not be erased or prioritized below her possible queer identity; and it's always better to stray from applying labels to those who have not yet used those labels for themselves.


----------



## radical6

i never really understood the point of "straight passing privilege" that lesbian and gay people use against poly/pan/bi/etc people. like just because a bisexual girl dates a boy doesnt mean shes straight? youre erasing bisexuality right there by saying shes straight. or maybe you think that theyre a straight couple when reality they might be a closeted trans person so (making the couple not straight) ....idk i get annoyed mostly from the lesbians that pull this kind of stuff against bi women. like these same lesbian women will joke about biphobia and be transmisogynistic and call bisexual and straight women men worshipers. its just..so sad to see them doing this kind of stuff.


----------



## Bulbadragon

tsundere said:


> i never really understood the point of "straight passing privilege" that lesbian and gay people use against poly/pan/bi/etc people. like just because a bisexual girl dates a boy doesnt mean shes straight? youre erasing bisexuality right there by saying shes straight. or maybe you think that theyre a straight couple when reality they might be a closeted trans person so (making the couple not straight) ....idk i get annoyed mostly from the lesbians that pull this kind of stuff against bi women. like these same lesbian women will joke about biphobia and be transmisogynistic and call bisexual and straight women men worshipers. its just..so sad to see them doing this kind of stuff.



I agree. I think saying that someone is no longer bisexual because they are dating a guy/girl is like telling someone your favorite candy bars are a Kitkat and Twix, but they see you eating a Twix so you can no longer like Kitkats. People who think like that only add to the stereotype that bisexuals are unfaithful and greedy.


----------



## bellafez

tsundere said:


> i never really understood the point of "straight passing privilege" that lesbian and gay people use against poly/pan/bi/etc people. like just because a bisexual girl dates a boy doesnt mean shes straight? youre erasing bisexuality right there by saying shes straight. or maybe you think that theyre a straight couple when reality they might be a closeted trans person so (making the couple not straight) ....idk i get annoyed mostly from the lesbians that pull this kind of stuff against bi women. like these same lesbian women will joke about biphobia and be transmisogynistic and call bisexual and straight women men worshipers. its just..so sad to see them doing this kind of stuff.



Yeah this makes me very sad b/c our 'privilege' is literally that most people don't think we exist. I'm dating a girl right now and even my best friends who are very accepting (and a few of whom are gay themselves) call me gay... Very occasionally they'll correct themselves and go 'Sorry, bi' which doesn't make me feel any better because I'm pretty damn sure I'm pansexual and being called anything else makes me uncomfortable...
They ask me things like 'Would you ever want to get married?' Or 'Would you take your wife's name?' and I just it isn't okay. It is very rare for any form of polysexuality to be recognised as a legitimate identity and it makes me super annoyed.


----------



## Amalthea

I haven't had much exposure to the usage of the word straight privilege, so I haven't fully formed an opinion on its use, but I do feel comfortable applying it to myself. I'm a femme-presenting dfab person who is sometimes comfortable being referred to with she/her pronouns and other terms associated with femininity and women, and I am attracted to guys. This makes me much less of a target to homophobic people compared to other queer people with different gender identities and presentations. Although if I were to be in a relationship with a male it wouldn't make me "less queer", it would make me less susceptible to homophobic comments. That's sort of how I visualize "straight privilege" in my mind, without currently having any prior knowledge of its present use or application. But I only apply that logic to myself as an individual.


----------



## Mayor TB

I apologize for forcing that on jewish people, since it was rather rude of me. I am not jewish myself, so I didn't know it would be offensive. 
Sorry about that.


----------



## Bulbadragon

Faery said:


> I haven't had much exposure to the usage of the word straight privilege, so I haven't fully formed an opinion on its use, but I do feel comfortable applying it to myself. I'm a femme-presenting dfab person who is sometimes comfortable being referred to with she/her pronouns and other terms associated with femininity and women, and I am attracted to guys. This makes me much less of a target to homophobic people compared to other queer people with different gender identities and presentations. Although if I were to be in a relationship with a male it wouldn't make me "less queer", it would make me less susceptible to homophobic comments. That's sort of how I visualize "straight privilege" in my mind, without currently having any prior knowledge of its present use or application. But I only apply that logic to myself as an individual.



"Straight privilege" is being able to pass as straight, so that you aren't subjected to biphobia, or someone saying "you're just curious" or "you're just scared to come out" and similar comments. Or at least, that's how I've seen it used.


----------



## Clara Oswald

When people say to me, being gay is not natural I'm like that's stupid because a) people are born that way so it kind of is natural and b) animals have shown bisexual behaviour so clearly it's been around just as along. When people say the bible say it's wrong I say the bible says slavery is right so clearly it makes some huge mistakes.


----------



## Bulbadragon

Elliek said:


> When people say to me, being gay is not natural I'm like that's stupid because a) people are born that way so it kind of is natural and b) animals have shown bisexual behaviour so clearly it's been around just as along. When people say the bible say it's wrong I say the bible says slavery is right so clearly it makes some huge mistakes.



(Warning, religious people may find this offensive.) I think why society is heteronormative (and cisnormative) is because of religion. Everyone in the Bible? Cis and hetero. Now, I don't know much about the "wrongs and rights" of other religions besides Christianity. But in the Bible, it also says that if a woman is not a virgin when she gets married, she must be killed, and many other things that are not socially acceptable now. I also hate the argument "being gay is a choice" because a) if it was a choice, same-gender relationships never would have existed because they would always find the other gender attractive and b) who would chose to be not cis and hetero? People in the LGBT community go through a lot of crap for simply being born the way they were. Especially trans people. I don't see what would make people feel so rebellious that they would chose a life of discrimination.


----------



## Clara Oswald

Bulbadragon said:


> (Warning, religious people may find this offensive.) I think why society is heteronormative (and cisnormative) is because of religion. Everyone in the Bible? Cis and hetero. Now, I don't know much about the "wrongs and rights" of other religions besides Christianity. But in the Bible, it also says that if a woman is not a virgin when she gets married, she must be killed, and many other things that are not socially acceptable now. I also hate the argument "being gay is a choice" because a) if it was a choice, same-gender relationships never would have existed because they would always find the other gender attractive and b) who would chose to be not cis and hetero? People in the LGBT community go through a lot of crap for simply being born the way they were. Especially trans people. I don't see what would make people feel so rebellious that they would chose a life of discrimination.



I defiantly agree with you there. I hate it when people use gay as an insult because it shouldn't be


----------



## bellafez

Bulbadragon said:


> (Warning, religious people may find this offensive.) I think why society is heteronormative (and cisnormative) is because of religion. Everyone in the Bible? Cis and hetero. Now, I don't know much about the "wrongs and rights" of other religions besides Christianity. But in the Bible, it also says that if a woman is not a virgin when she gets married, she must be killed, and many other things that are not socially acceptable now. I also hate the argument "being gay is a choice" because a) if it was a choice, same-gender relationships never would have existed because they would always find the other gender attractive and b) who would chose to be not cis and hetero? People in the LGBT community go through a lot of crap for simply being born the way they were. Especially trans people. I don't see what would make people feel so rebellious that they would chose a life of discrimination.



I think this is all Cool and True but also, even if it were a choice to be gay that provides no reasons as to why it's bad? I can choose to do lots of things which are okay... like wear a purple t-shirt. Maybe I wasn't born wanting to wear one, maybe I wanted to because I like purple t-shirts but that's no reason to ostracise me socially/say I'm evil?

Similarly with 'homosexuality isn't natural' argument. 1) yes it is, gay penguins and deer and hyenas etc etc but 2) even if it weren't, why do you care? What about 'natural' is 'good'? Because let's face it, if we have to go back to only 'natural' things, we would be living in caves with no clothes or....internet. We live in a society where natural stuff is practically erased and everything around us is manufactured - why do I care whether those guys kissing is more natural than my iPad?


----------



## Kaireevee

I personally am bisexual, but it annoys me to know end when my male friends give me the -wink wink -nudge nudge lets have a party ;D

Like no, go away. Just because I like boys and girls doesn't mean I'm interested in partying with you.


----------



## radical6

it really breaks my heart when i see people who need help on the trans housing network and im unable to help them. like i see people looking for houses around seattle and i really wish i could help them but my parents would be against it..but im posting this here just in case any trans person needs a home or can offer a home

http://transhousingnetwork.tumblr.com/


----------



## Gizmodo

tsundere said:


> it really breaks my heart when i see people who need help on the trans housing network and im unable to help them. like i see people looking for houses around seattle and i really wish i could help them but my parents would be against it..but im posting this here just in case any trans person needs a home or can offer a home
> 
> http://transhousingnetwork.tumblr.com/



Gosh its depressing


----------



## radical6

do you guys think i could pass with this kind of hair??? idk im AFAB (assigned female at birth) and i want to aim for an androgynous look but idk what to choose for my hair. too shy to post a picture of myself though

whoops sorry for the blurry photo


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> do you guys think i could pass with this kind of hair??? idk im AFAB (assigned female at birth) and i want to aim for an androgynous look but idk what to choose for my hair. too shy to post a picture of myself though
> 
> whoops sorry for the blurry photo


yes omg that is so cute. my friend mack is also afab and they have a similar hairstyle, you would definitely rock it.

i'm actually in the opposite situation, i'm trying to grow my hair out since i'm not comfortable with short hair. it's almost touching my shoulders now.


----------



## radical6

Reizo said:


> yes omg that is so cute. my friend mack is also afab and they have a similar hairstyle, you would definitely rock it.
> 
> i'm actually in the opposite situation, i'm trying to grow my hair out since i'm not comfortable with short hair. it's almost touching my shoulders now.



it looks so cute and i want it so bad.... i hate my hair. its not even that long (its like shoulder length right now) and it makes me so uncomfortable... ive always wanted short hair and ive always wanted to look less feminine but my mom just rejects my wishes so

do you want to trade hair lmao. long hair is so annoying


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> it looks so cute and i want it so bad.... i hate my hair. its not even that long (its like shoulder length right now) and it makes me so uncomfortable... ive always wanted short hair and ive always wanted to look less feminine but my mom just rejects my wishes so
> 
> do you want to trade hair lmao. long hair is so annoying



I have my hair halfway to my neck. It looks fine. As long as you wear some guy's clothes.


----------



## Bones15

I'm T, but won't be able to start my mones until I get my insurance taken care of. Wish me luck!


----------



## radical6

Sir Takoya said:


> I have my hair halfway to my neck. It looks fine. As long as you wear some guy's clothes.



i probably will plan to wear more gender neutral clothing. i dont want to look too much like a guy though. so idk



Bones15 said:


> I'm T, but won't be able to start my mones until I get my insurance taken care of. Wish me luck!


i wish you good luck!


----------



## Bones15

tsundere said:


> i probably will plan to wear more gender neutral clothing. i dont want to look too much like a guy though. so idk
> 
> 
> i wish you good luck!



Thank you so much!


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> it looks so cute and i want it so bad.... i hate my hair. its not even that long (its like shoulder length right now) and it makes me so uncomfortable... ive always wanted short hair and ive always wanted to look less feminine but my mom just rejects my wishes so
> 
> do you want to trade hair lmao. long hair is so annoying


i know how you feel, my parents didn't let me grow mine out when i was younger and my dad told me "do you WANT to look like a ***?!"

yes let's trade hair pls


----------



## Gabby

i would just like to say, bi erasure is real and we need to combat it. go bisexuals! rid our society of bi erasure!


----------



## Gizmodo

Ughh my endo is same day as my a level history exam and i need the A grade ;__; dont want all my work to go to waste
but i need my treatment asap
have to apply for special circumstances and see if i can sit the exam a few hours earlier


----------



## unravel

Reizo said:


> i know how you feel, my parents didn't let me grow mine out when i was younger and my dad told me "do you WANT to look like a ***?!"
> 
> yes let's trade hair pls



Errr tbh I don't like my hair because it's long I want like this


Spoiler














Spoiler










And I don't like girly clothes... Is there somethings errr wrong with me? haha


----------



## Sir Takoya

ITookYourWaffles said:


> Errr tbh I don't like my hair because it's long I want like this
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And I don't like girly clothes... Is there somethings errr wrong with me? haha



There's nothing wrong with that. Girly clothes are disgustingly ugly. If I were you, I would run off with my own money and get the haircut myself.


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> There's nothing wrong with that. Girly clothes are disgustingly ugly. If I were you, I would run off with my own money and get the haircut myself.



NO! boy clothes are uglyy
Girl clothes <333
lol


----------



## Sir Takoya

Gizmodo said:


> NO! boy clothes are uglyy
> Girl clothes <333
> lol



I hope you realize this means war.


----------



## radical6

Gabby said:


> i would just like to say, bi erasure is real and we need to combat it. go bisexuals! rid our society of bi erasure!


i agree!

i typically like feminine clothes but i dont want to wear them bc ppl will call me a "transtrender" or something sooo


----------



## Sir Takoya

tsundere said:


> i agree!
> 
> i typically like feminine clothes but i dont want to wear them bc ppl will call me a "transtrender" or something sooo



Oh, you're a guy then?


----------



## radical6

Sir Takoya said:


> Oh, you're a guy then?



um..no?
transtrender means you're faking being trans. idk how you can fake being trans because why would anyone ever want to lie about their identity.. i never liked people who used this word because they probably think bisexuals are lying too.


----------



## Zeiro

i'm not brave enough to wear more feminine clothing


----------



## Blockmayus

Wow, "transtrender" is an actual word people use?!? Seriously?

I mean because it both asumes that "Transgeder people MUST wear the clothes that fit the gender role of the gender they identify with" (Because its not like trans people can live in situations in which just wearing one piece of clothing, not even hinting on the fact that they might be trans, would be enough to put them in danger.) and "Cisgender people who decide to wear clothes that go outside of their gender roles and expectations are just pretending to be trans" and thats just backwards thinking... dang.

Also tbh, if I wasnt so insecure (And terrfied of people realizing Im gay because of the backlash, specialy here in Mexico where I live) Id probably wear from jeans to skirts to dresses to literaly just anything possible and just go from black to blue to pink and all possible combinations in general, I just think clothes are really cool in general! 

...

But that aint happening any time soon.


----------



## radical6

Blockmayus said:


> Wow, "transtrender" is an actual word people use?!? Seriously?
> 
> I mean because it both asumes that "Transgeder people MUST wear the clothes that fit the gender role of the gender they identify with" (Because its not like trans people can live in situations in which just wearing one piece of clothing, not even hinting on the fact that they might be trans, would be enough to put them in danger.) and "Cisgender people who decide to wear clothes that go outside of their gender roles and expectations are just pretending to be trans" and thats just backwards thinking... dang.
> 
> Also tbh, if I wasnt so insecure (And terrfied of people realizing Im gay because of the backlash, specialy here in Mexico where I live) Id probably wear from jeans to skirts to dresses to literaly just anything possible and just go from black to blue to pink and all possible combinations in general, I just think clothes are really cool in general!
> 
> ...
> 
> But that aint happening any time soon.



i dont understand why anyone would fake being trans. why do these people think we want to do it for attention? no one wants to face transphobia for no reason. no one wants to lie about their identity so they can be hip and cool. just because some trans people don't fit in your little box of qualifications doesn't mean they're faking it ugh. i see trans men yell at younger trans men for being feminine, and TERFs accuse trans women lying about being women so they can date lesbians.. just how can you determine if someone is really trans?

im not scared about being open about my sexuality but im not sure how my state (i live in washington where gay marriage is legal) feels about gender.. i see kids at my school talk about gay rights all the time but they're still transphobic. im sorry that its homophobic over there.


----------



## Blockmayus

tsundere said:


> i dont understand why anyone would fake being trans. why do these people think we want to do it for attention? no one wants to face transphobia for no reason. no one wants to lie about their identity so they can be hip and cool. just because some trans people don't fit in your little box of qualifications doesn't mean they're faking it ugh. i see trans men yell at younger trans men for being feminine, and TERFs accuse trans women lying about being women so they can date lesbians.. just how can you determine if someone is really trans?
> 
> im not scared about being open about my sexuality but im not sure how my state (i live in washington where gay marriage is legal) feels about gender.. i see kids at my school talk about gay rights all the time but they're still transphobic. im sorry that its homophobic over there.



It all probably just goes back to the mindset some people have about anything that goes outside "Gender=Sex. There are straight people and gay-lesbian people. Bisexuals are just confused, everything else is just people trying to get attention, such special snowflakes they want to be!.". Just good ol hetero and cisnormativity that will sometimes aknowledge "Some weird blokes are into their own gender, whats up with them" without really caring too much and refuses to think any further than that.

Well, the cool thing is that at least I have enough friends around the internet who know all that stuff about me (And my best friend from here too) so its not like I have to hide it from everyone, I guess Im just "getting out of the closet" one lil step at a time as long as it feels safe to do. Hopefuly it will get better soon?


----------



## Gizmodo

Sir Takoya said:


> I hope you realize this means war.



Yes, yes it does


----------



## unravel

Sir Takoya said:


> There's nothing wrong with that. *Girly clothes are disgustingly ugly*. If I were you, I would run off with my own money and get the haircut myself.



So true and I think my parents and the school won't allow that kind of hairstyle which is sucks bro.


----------



## Sir Takoya

ITookYourWaffles said:


> So true and I think my parents and the school won't allow that kind of hairstyle which is sucks bro.



School should allow that hair. There's nothing wrong with your own style.


----------



## Gizmodo

Telling more friends tomorroww yayy


----------



## Princess Weeb

Gizmodo said:


> NO! boy clothes are uglyy
> Girl clothes <333
> lol


yes
erryday
dressing up like a princess for life all the yes <3

actually I'm kinda torn because guys clothes are super comfy/girls clothes are fabulous
what do


----------



## radical6

my teacher called one of the (cis) boys a girl because he was standing in the girls line and some girls laughed and said "hey its a transexual!" and "its a (t slur here)" and i was just..so shocked. i mean why did you have to say that in front of me out of all the other places. they dont know im trans but i was pretty pissed off. im usually a very quiet kid but they kept saying it and i guess i just told them to shut the f up. of course they respond with "its just a joke!" and like... ugh. people didnt really expect that from me because im usually not that angry irl but i was pretty pissed off already when i heard it. 

my friends looked at me and asked why i was upset. i just said it was transphobic but they didnt understand what that meant. the boy didnt say anything because well he didnt get it either. (i hope he doesnt think i said that because i wanted to defend him tho..i used to like him for a bit but that was pretty embarrassing)


----------



## radical6

hahahahaha i just came out to my mom hhhhhhhhhhh kill me
i hate everything so much WHY did my therapist think this was a good idea **** **** **** ****


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> hahahahaha i just came out to my mom hhhhhhhhhhh kill me
> i hate everything so much WHY did my therapist think this was a good idea **** **** **** ****


oh my gosh, did everything go ok? are you ok?


----------



## radical6

Reizo said:


> oh my gosh, did everything go ok? are you ok?



my mom was crying when i told her during our therapist meeting im like why the **** are you crying ??? then after we left she locked me in my room and kept bugging me and asking me questions and kept saying **** like "in my mind..you will always be my daughter........ur not seriously like this right.....this is just hormones....." and then i got really fed up and we started arguing and now its ok i guess cuz shes like "i just want you to be a kid" im like ok ok whatever please stop talking to me about it now because that was a terrible idea. like she says she still needs time to accept it im like why is it soo hard to accept?? idk i regret telling her @_@


----------



## Gnome

tsundere said:


> ...and i was just..so shocked. i mean why did you have to say that in front of me out of all the other places...



...because they didn't know you were transexual? Also they're in high school, so transphobia's not exactly high on their list of things to take note of.


----------



## radical6

Gnome said:


> ...because they didn't know you were transexual? Also they're in high school, so transphobia's not exactly high on their list of things to take note of.



i meant that i was unlucky to hear that. it did make me pretty upset for the rest of the day. like they barely know what trans people are so i didnt really expect to hear loud transphobic comments like that. maybe people do say it but im just not around to hear.


----------



## oath2order

So I'm going to DC Pride this year


----------



## JellofishXD

what do the letters stand for???


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> So I'm going to DC Pride this year


have fun



JellofishXD said:


> what do the letters stand for???


L- lesbian
G- gay
B- bisexual
T- trans
Q- queer/questioning
I- intersex
A- asexual


----------



## MintTea

In France, there was all this mess about the gay marriage law and stuff. That's when I realised how my family was not that open-minded. At the moment I was still wondering because I had have a girlfriend when I was 10 and we did do lesb stuff but it was the only time I had fallen in love with a girl and I'm always falling in love with boys. And I was hearing people saying that gay marriage was okay but certainly not adoption. 'A child needs a mother and a father. Not two fathers or two mothers.' And I was like 'uh and what about divorced parents or when one of the kid's parent is dead? there is only one person in charge of the child and it's better to have two parents, whatever their sexes are'
Now I know I'm bisexual and recently I was thinking about coming out. So I decided to just test a bit people's reactions. One day, I was with my girlfriends and I asked 'Hey what would you think if I was a lesbian?' and only one of them said that it wouldn't bother her. The others were like 'uh it would be pretty awkward' or 'It wouldn't be the same'.


----------



## r3*

I didn't know this thread existed! I'm gender nonbinary and pansexual!! Very cool to have something like this, I'm very proud of this forum rn!


----------



## Blockmayus

tsundere said:


> my mom was crying when i told her during our therapist meeting im like why the **** are you crying ??? then after we left she locked me in my room and kept bugging me and asking me questions and kept saying **** like "in my mind..you will always be my daughter........ur not seriously like this right.....this is just hormones....." and then i got really fed up and we started arguing and now its ok i guess cuz shes like "i just want you to be a kid" im like ok ok whatever please stop talking to me about it now because that was a terrible idea. like she says she still needs time to accept it im like why is it soo hard to accept?? idk i regret telling her @_@



Eeeeeuuuuuurrrrrgghhh, Im really sorry to hear things went so terribly! I find it really sad when people come out to their parents in some way and the parents somehow manage to make it about their own feelings. It doesnt seem like things will go well right now but hopefuly she will come to understand soon?!??! Or at least you will find a way or handling the situation the best way possible?!??!

SIGHS AT PARENTS :l


----------



## ACNiko

Uuuhhgh I'm so sick of conservative people who still thinks that homosexuality is bad.

I'm bisexual myself. Unfortunately, I've never been in a relationship with anyone. I haven't told anyone that I'm bisexual (not even on the internet, so this is my first time I say this actually), but I know that my family would accept it because we don't see homosexuality as something bad or weird. I would be more uncomfortable talking about my sexuality with my friends tbh, they can be pretty homophobic sometimes. I don't know, I want to tell people about my sexuality, but I feel uncomfortable about it for some reason. It's not that I have a problem to talk about my _sexuality_, but it feels awkward to talk to my parents that I'm sexually attracted to people, lol.

My little "problem" is nothing compared to others in here who have parents that can't accept their own child's sexuality. I feel so sorry for you, and I'm so angry at this *** heteronormative world, and it makes me so sad.


----------



## Princess Weeb

ACNiko said:


> My little "problem" is nothing compared to others in here who have parents that can't accept their own child's sexuality. I feel so sorry for you, and I'm so angry at this *** heteronormative world, and it makes me so sad.



I have just come to the conclusion that most adults suck 
I am so done with people that think everyone younger than them is stupid and just "going through a phase" or whose views are worthless.


How the absolute hell can two people make and raise a child just to disown them or treat them like crap because of one measly thing like their sexuality or their views/religious choices etc 

That is still the child you created and you loved what the hell is even different they didn't kill a person pls calm down fff


----------



## ACNiko

Melleia said:


> I have just come to the conclusion that most adults suck
> How the absolute hell can two people make and raise a child just to disown them or treat them like crap because of one measly thing like their sexuality or their views/religious choices etc


 Yeah it's sickening. I feel so lucky because I have awesome parents, but I know so many people with parents who have no respect for their children. Parents are suppose to support their children no matter what, and that some parents freak out because of sexuality is just so... aargh it's so stupid!!


----------



## Solaeus

I'm attracted to guys, but I'm not sure sexually.
I'm not attracted to girls either way, I'm not sure
if I'm Aesexual or not, I feel kind of bad for saying I'm aesexual
to 1. Avoid conflict and annoying gossip and 2. I'm not sure


----------



## radical6

why do afab trans people feel like we're the one's who have the disadvantages compared to amab trans people.. I didn't really think that what you would get assigned at birth would effect the amount of transphobia you received, but boy was I wrong. I'm more aware of my AFAB privilege over AMAB trans people now. I used to think that we all faced the same hardships, but I looked at the violence for AMAB people compared to AFAB people.. I also think it's a bit easier to come out as an AFAB trans person. I guess maybe because of society's expectation of men? Men are usually hurt if they act feminine so I assume that's the reason why most acts of transphobic violence target trans women. Even though they are not men, they are perceived as men. I guess anytime someone perceived as male/or is actually a guy likes or acts feminine, they get punished because they're seen as weak. But AFAB trans people like to hide this a lot..I know I used to be one of them, I didn't think about it at all really. I mean when you see statistics for trans people (murder for example) most of it only happens to trans women. But people who post this kind of stuff/spread this kind of info like to apply it to trans  people in general, which still includes trans women, but isn't completely true. It kinda takes away the severity that trans women and AMAB nb people really face. I wish as a community we would prioritize things better rather than ignoring our fellow trans people. 

I often see the argument that AFAB trans people face misogyny because they are perceived as female and honestly this annoys me.. If someone says "You're a girl, you should be more obedient" to me then I won't take it to heart because I know it doesn't really apply to me. I'm just really sick of seeing TWERFs/TERFs tear down trans women and AMAB nonbinary people. Or fellow AFAB trans people deny transmisogyny. I really wish I could say something but I don't like arguing on tumblr (because TERFs and neo nazis will go after me tbh) and if any AMAB trans people here want to point out any bad things I say, go ahead. (Relating to AFAB privilege and stuff tho)


----------



## oath2order

I honestly thought that the whole violence against AMAB trans people was, for lack of a better term, common knowledge. Since you mentioned the whole "men can't be feminine" thing, I'm a little surprised this is a bit of a shock to you.

What's twerf/terf?


----------



## Alice

oath2order said:


> I honestly thought that the whole violence against AMAB trans people was, for lack of a better term, common knowledge. Since you mentioned the whole "men can't be feminine" thing, I'm a little surprised this is a bit of a shock to you.
> 
> What's twerf/terf?



A TERF is a trans exclusionary/exterminatory radical feminist and a TWERF is a trans woman exterminatory radical feminist.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> I honestly thought that the whole violence against AMAB trans people was, for lack of a better term, common knowledge. Since you mentioned the whole "men can't be feminine" thing, I'm a little surprised this is a bit of a shock to you.
> 
> What's twerf/terf?


i didnt really think about it because whenever AFAB people mention violence, rape and murder for trans people they really mean trans women. i knew they would face a bit more violence but i didnt think transmisogyny was that bad. But I guess I didn't really know that much back then


----------



## oath2order

still though what's twerf


----------



## Blockmayus

oath2order said:


> still though what's twerf



From the wording I can only assume its "radical feminist who does NOT consider trans women to be real women" 

I have yet to met a single openly trans or nonbinary person offline (Either AMAB or AFAB) because Im pretty sure most of them would have their entire lives absolutely destroyed if they did where I live.. and yet somehow Ive still gotten to see just SO MUCH transphobia directed at trans women, without any of them even being present (Or openly present). 

Like I remember the one time when I studied psychology that the whole class somehow started talking about "the gays", it was suposed to be a talk about sexualities in general but somehow people would only focus on "Gay dudes", most of the comments said by people where along the lines of "I think GAYS are ok but... -homophobic remark-". Not a single time did people talk about homosexual women or just about any other kind of sexuality. The one time someone mentioned Bisexuality someone jut said "Gay dudes who are still trying to fit in!" or something.

But the moment ONE person suggested something about "Guys who want to be girls" (Already starting with a pretty transphobic remark of course) the whole group was reduced into a sea of "NOPE NOPE NOPE EWWWWW WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM". I actualy really wish I could have been more outspoken when that happened but I was terrified of getting too emotional and pretty much outing myself.


----------



## oath2order

Radical feminist part ohhh

I figured trans woman, but I couldn't get the rest. Probably should've googled "twerf trans".

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists
Trans Woman Exclusionary Radical Feminists


----------



## radical6

trans women can be radical feminists tho(i know a few) and not all radical feminists are transphobic

most TERFs are TWERFs tho. they might target AFAB nb people and trans men for having "internalized misogyny" but most of their hate is directed at trans women and AMAB nb people


----------



## radical6

i was gonna go to this guy's LGBT group and i was maybe going to see him 1 on 1 but im so glad i didnt. i saw a warning from some trans women saying not to trust dr krillian in seattle..so yeah headsup for any trans people (trans women especially!!) 

why does this guy gotta run the only lgbt group here smh


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> i was gonna go to this guy's LGBT group and i was maybe going to see him 1 on 1 but im so glad i didnt. i saw a warning from some trans women saying not to trust dr krillian in seattle..so yeah headsup for any trans people (trans women especially!!)
> 
> why does this guy gotta run the only lgbt group here smh



Wait, how come you're glad you didn't go to the group?


----------



## m12

At least you have a group available. The group here on base is discontinued due to "issues with moral standings due to our lifestyle."

Yeah, that's still a thing. :|


----------



## oath2order

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/05/...riage-battle-could-be-coming-to-north-dakota/

So literally all states have a courtcase about same-sex marriage wow.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Wait, how come you're glad you didn't go to the group?



because hes a dangerous transphobe ? im kinda wary of going to any groups at all tbh if hes going to be charge in them. i remember reading about a therapist who specialized in trans people or w/e in toronto and he would randomly ask trans girls "why do you want boobs?" and degrade them so yeah. ex "he seems to be very interested in wanting boobs" and other nasty crap like that. i don't know if the guy here will do that, but if there are enough trans women who have had bad experiences with him then i probably don't want to go to his LGBT group. oddly enough, i was reading reviews for him and many trans men were praising him. weird. the dude is probably transmisogynistic if he treats trans men great but trans women terrible

http://musketqueers.tumblr.com/post/85553537363/chest-binder-tutorial also heres a chest binder guide for AFAB trans people out there. im probably gonna use this to make mine because i cant buy one anyway. i just hope its safe


----------



## Gizmodo

Omg ive had such a busy past few weeks.. buying all my clothes.. telling everyone.. getting my hair done in a few weeks.. full time.. name change ah


----------



## Bowie




----------



## Colder

..


----------



## tinytaylor

We had a gay straight allience group at my school. 
It was really cool to hear about, I think they had only 
one meeting. It probably got closed which sucks


----------



## n64king

We had a gay straight alliance group at my school too and all I heard was all the mad gay people showed up looking for a date, realized it was the same people they hated in the lunch quad, and then they barely ever did that again. I never went cause I was like lol I already know who's gay at my school and you all hate me for no reason. Bunch of angry queens.


----------



## radical6

n64king said:


> We had a gay straight alliance group at my school too and all I heard was all the mad gay people showed up looking for a date, realized it was the same people they hated in the lunch quad, and then they barely ever did that again. I never went cause I was like lol I already know who's gay at my school and you all hate me for no reason. Bunch of angry queens.



wait are you saying you hate those gay people or (i cant tell because you kinda used a slur so) ?????


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

im pansexual


----------



## m12

So, I finally came out to everyone today about me being gay. Family included. It is such a weight off my shoulders, you have no idea. Please take the courage to do it. It IS LGBT Pride month, after all. Good luck to everyone who struggles and struggled like I have.


----------



## Cory

m12 said:


> So, I finally came out to everyone today about me being gay. Family included. It is such a weight off my shoulders, you have no idea. Please take the courage to do it. It IS LGBT Pride month, after all. Good luck to everyone who struggles and struggled like I have.



Good for you  Do you mind me asking how they reacted?


----------



## m12

Cory said:


> Good for you  Do you mind me asking how they reacted?



They said they already knew, but I don't think they did. They told me to be me and be the happiest I can be.


----------



## radical6

m12 said:


> So, I finally came out to everyone today about me being gay. Family included. It is such a weight off my shoulders, you have no idea. Please take the courage to do it. It IS LGBT Pride month, after all. Good luck to everyone who struggles and struggled like I have.



thats great! im happy for you ^^
my family and friends already know im pan and it went well with them, but they didnt react well to my gender so idk

i do hope people can come out safely and get a positive reaction. but dont feel like you /have/ to come out though.


----------



## OishiSushi

nice to see this thread ^^ I'm les, i used to call myself bi just to make an excuse to my family, any one who has old fashion (was born from the 1930s-40s) asian parents would know how they're 'one' of the hardest people to deal with when it comes to these things, but luckily my mom is a liberal person she fully understands me and now i can proudly say I'm a lesbian!


----------



## radical6

What do you guys think of this?
I get what they're saying though and I kinda agree but idk. Like homelessness doesn't really get talked about in the community. Lots of LGBTQIA teens are homeless so yeah I doubt their biggest concern is marriage. The media doesn't really focus on the homeless kids?? Whenever it comes to talking about the LGBTQIA community it's pretty much always about a same sex marriage war. I feel like the battle for same sex marriage is important too, but the homeless issue is almost never addressed.


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## oath2order

tsundere said:


> View attachment 50053
> What do you guys think of this?
> I get what they're saying though and I kinda agree but idk. Like homelessness doesn't really get talked about in the community. Lots of LGBTQIA teens are homeless so yeah I doubt their biggest concern is marriage. The media doesn't really focus on the homeless kids?? Whenever it comes to talking about the LGBTQIA community it's pretty much always about a same sex marriage war.



Homelessness doesn't get talked about at all :/


----------



## Jake

Yes let's talk about homeless youth that is me


----------



## oath2order

Jake. said:


> Yes let's talk about homeless youth that is me



Really? :/


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

tsundere said:


> View attachment 50053
> What do you guys think of this?
> I get what they're saying though and I kinda agree but idk. Like homelessness doesn't really get talked about in the community. Lots of LGBTQIA teens are homeless so yeah I doubt their biggest concern is marriage. The media doesn't really focus on the homeless kids?? Whenever it comes to talking about the LGBTQIA community it's pretty much always about a same sex marriage war. I feel like the battle for same sex marriage is important too, but the homeless issue is almost never addressed.


Honestly, people seem to just ignore the homeless. I can't tell you how many times I hear things like, "They got themselves in that situation." Or, "They'll just spend the money on booze." People are sympathetic in general, but when it comes to individual cases and being face-to-face with a homeless beggar they just shut down. When it comes to the entire problem they kind of dismiss it.

When it comes to things that the LGBTQA community faces people don't focus on issues that the media doesn't. Marriage is publicized. And people seem to assume it's the major issue. They ignore the violence, homelessness, mental illness, etc. that plagues the community. It's probably stemming from people's needs to ignore such problems as a whole. They like to believe that the world is relatively equal and fair when it isn't.


----------



## Jake

oath2order said:


> Really? :/



Well I have been staying with a friend for like a week but basically yah


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Homelessness doesn't get talked about at all :/





MozzarellaSticks said:


> Honestly, people seem to just ignore the homeless. I can't tell you how many times I hear things like, "They got themselves in that situation." Or, "They'll just spend the money on booze." People are sympathetic in general, but when it comes to individual cases and being face-to-face with a homeless beggar they just shut down. When it comes to the entire problem they kind of dismiss it.
> 
> When it comes to things that the LGBTQA community faces people don't focus on issues that the media doesn't. Marriage is publicized. And people seem to assume it's the major issue. They ignore the violence, homelessness, mental illness, etc. that plagues the community. It's probably stemming from people's needs to ignore such problems as a whole. They like to believe that the world is relatively equal and fair when it isn't.



I agree. The same people who say "oh! I'll donate money to the poor!" but when they can actually give money to a homeless person on the street they're very hesitant to. Who cares how they got there? They're homeless and they're starving. Just spare a buck or two. I remember seeing (rich) gay men in CA shut down a shelter (or were close to i think?? They cut off funding I believe). It was a news report. There was a homeless center for LGBTQIA youth and they complained about it so much because apparently it made the city "poor looking" and attracted too many homeless kids. I was reading it and all I could think was "what the hell?" These were the same people who fought so hard for same sex marriage but they turn around and kick these kids out?? Disgusting. The story wasn't in the big media sites and was mostly on smaller news sites or LGBT centered ones. I guess these people don't really care about homeless people at all.

Yeah mental illness, racism etc is ignored in the community a lot. I saw some gay men attack autistic trans girls on purpose and laugh at them if they get angry. Like these guys kept misgendering her and she was getting so much hate so she said "die" to someone and they all got really pissed off and ganged up on her. Like she can't control that?? And saying "die" is so small compared to the abuse they put her through. There's also a lot of rampant biphobia from lesbian women who call bi women "cocksuckers/**** worshippers". (pretty sure that has racist connections for black women during the slavery era in the U.S or something idk)?? Like this is how we act? I even see LGB people say that the T and the rest of the acronym should be taken out. It's just..really sad to see. Sometimes it makes me distant from using the LGBTQIA label because of this stuff? Idk. Like I don't really wanna address myself as trans or put myself under the trans umbrella sometimes nowadays because it just feels weird.


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

tsundere said:


> I agree. The same people who say "oh! I'll donate money to the poor!" but when they can actually give money to a homeless person on the street they're very hesitant to. Who cares how they got there? They're homeless and they're starving. Just spare a buck or two. I remember seeing (rich) gay men in CA shut down a shelter (or were close to i think?? They cut off funding I believe). It was a news report. There was a homeless center for LGBTQIA youth and they complained about it so much because apparently it made the city "poor looking" and attracted too many homeless kids. I was reading it and all I could think was "what the hell?" These were the same people who fought so hard for same sex marriage but they turn around and kick these kids out?? Disgusting. The story wasn't in the big media sites and was mostly on smaller news sites or LGBT centered ones. I guess these people don't really care about homeless people at all.
> 
> Yeah mental illness, racism etc is ignored in the community a lot. I saw some gay men attack autistic trans girls on purpose and laugh at them if they get angry. Like these guys kept misgendering her and she was getting so much hate so she said "die" to someone and they all got really pissed off and ganged up on her. Like she can't control that?? And saying "die" is so small compared to the abuse they put her through. There's also a lot of rampant biphobia from lesbian women who call bi women "cocksuckers/**** worshippers". (pretty sure that has racist connections for black women during the slavery era in the U.S or something idk)?? Like this is how we act? I even see LGB people say that the T and the rest of the acronym should be taken out. It's just..really sad to see. Sometimes it makes me distant from using the LGBTQIA label because of this stuff? Idk. Like I don't really wanna address myself as trans or put myself under the trans umbrella sometimes nowadays because it just feels weird.


Sadly I have seen the community attack it's own members. I've heard from some gay people that anyone bi or pan is just confused. I don't get that at all. Doesn't it hurt when people tell you that? So how can you turn around and do that to other people? Asexual, genderfluid, and agender are so misunderstood, too. It just bothers me that the one place that should understand and accept can sometimes be just as hostile. It's really sad.


----------



## radical6

MozzarellaSticks said:


> Sadly I have seen the community attack it's own members. I've heard from some gay people that anyone bi or pan is just confused. I don't get that at all. Doesn't it hurt when people tell you that? So how can you turn around and do that to other people? Asexual, genderfluid, and agender are so misunderstood, too. It just bothers me that the one place that should understand and accept can sometimes be just as hostile. It's really sad.



I don't understand the whole bi/poly/panphobia thing with the Gay and Lesbian community tbh. Is it that hard to realize that people might like more than one gender? And yeah asexual people are pretty much ignored in the community. They're not given much of an option to speak. Like people say all the time they're not oppressed. Maybe they're not getting killed everyday for being asexual, but people constantly ignore the fact that they're asexual. It's seen as weird or not normal I guess. 

As someone whos Agender I sometimes get misunderstood? Like people say you can't be nonbinary if you don't have dysphoria. I consider myself to have a mild chest dysphoria sometimes?? But like who cares?? Dysphoria isn't 100% required to be trans. Trans men like to stomp on nonbinary teens because y'know it's the new "bisexual trend". Genderfluid people are mocked all the time because they're just fakers or whatever. Idk I feel like if you're not a trans guy with full body dysphoria then you're looked down as a "transtrender". I see people like this continuing to grow in numbers and tbh they're kind of scary. They give trans people grief and anxiety because it's not like they aren't already told that they're not trans IRL. I kind of just wish they would leave the community or something because they have no right to validate someone's identity.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Oh cool I was actually wondering if there was a group like this on here. uvu For the past couple years I've considered myself to be a lesbian but recently I haven't really felt any attraction towards anyone. But I think that's not exactly a sexuality thing for me and more just where I am in life

Anyway it'll be nice to talk to you guys and it's nice to meet you aha.


----------



## epona

sexually i am bisexual, as in i have had sexual relations with both boys and girls and am attracted to both but i've only ever been romantically attracted to boys
does that make me exploitative or soemthing i don't know what am i WHAT AM I


----------



## Lady Timpani

epona said:


> sexually i am bisexual, as in i have had sexual relations with both boys and girls and am attracted to both but i've only ever been romantically attracted to boys
> does that make me exploitative or soemthing i don't know what am i WHAT AM I



I don't think you're necessarily "exploiting" anybody? I've seen a lot of people use "homoromantic bisexual" or "biromantic homosexual" or other variations so I think you would call yourself a heteroromantic bisexual? Idk I don't think you necessarily have to label yourself if you don't want to.


----------



## epona

Lady Timpani said:


> I don't think you're necessarily "exploiting" anybody? I've seen a lot of people use "homoromantic bisexual" or "biromantic homosexual" or other variations so I think you would call yourself a heteroromantic bisexual? Idk I don't think you necessarily have to label yourself if you don't want to.



i am only part of the LGBTQA community solely as an ally, i would never label myself as LGBTQA as essentially i am straight, i just happen to have slept with girls
so it feels maybe like i am exploiting the community or trying to disregard it by even posting in this thread idk
i just call myself straight because that's what i am, my natural attraction is towards men and whenever i've been with girls it's had some kind of experimental quality to it i suppose


----------



## Clara Oswald

I think I'm ready to admit something..


----------



## Lady Timpani

epona said:


> i am only part of the LGBTQA community solely as an ally, i would never label myself as LGBTQA as essentially i am straight, i just happen to have slept with girls
> so it feels maybe like i am exploiting the community or trying to disregard it by even posting in this thread idk
> i just call myself straight because that's what i am, my natural attraction is towards men and whenever i've been with girls it's had some kind of experimental quality to it i suppose



Ah okay, I understand now. I personally don't think there's really anything wrong with experimenting, so long as both parties know it's only going to be a fling and not a relationship. I think most people would only be bothered by it if you used it as a way to get with guys, which it doesn't seem like you're doing?


----------



## epona

Lady Timpani said:


> Ah okay, I understand now. I personally don't think there's really anything wrong with experimenting, so long as both parties know it's only going to be a fling and not a relationship. I think most people would only be bothered by it if you used it as a way to get with guys, which it doesn't seem like you're doing?



oh god definitely not haha! it's always just been a spontaneous thing i guess


----------



## Clara Oswald

Here we go..

I'm asexual and I am a finally ready to tell the world. Asexuals actually get plenty of discrimination, I'm 14 and I've already heard someone say they just need a "good raping" about me. I don't know if it was a joke but the person who said it isn't the joking sought at all. But I want to accept who I am and if people say stuff like that they can get out of my life tbh. So that's why I was kinda nervous. Sorry if it seems silly..

Do people have advice on how to handle people like that for future reference?


----------



## radical6

Uxie said:


> Here we go..
> 
> I'm asexual and I am a finally ready to tell the world. Asexuals actually get plenty of discrimination, I'm 14 and I've already heard someone say they just need a "good raping" about me. I don't know if it was a joke but the person who said it isn't the joking sought at all. But I want to accept who I am and if people say stuff like that they can get out of my life tbh. So that's why I was kinda nervous. Sorry if it seems silly..
> 
> Do people have advice on how to handle people like that for future reference?



Ok wow thats really wrong and im sorry. Honestly im not asexual or on the aromantic scale at all so i dont know what to say. But if you feel like you can say you're asexual safely, then go for it. They will probably ask questions like "what does asexual mean??" but hopefully they'll understand. Another thing to do is to tell them to knock off the rape jokes. Asexual or not, you dont ever say that


----------



## Titi

Uxie said:


> Here we go..
> 
> I'm asexual and I am a finally ready to tell the world. Asexuals actually get plenty of discrimination, I'm 14 and I've already heard someone say they just need a "good raping" about me. I don't know if it was a joke but the person who said it isn't the joking sought at all. But I want to accept who I am and if people say stuff like that they can get out of my life tbh. So that's why I was kinda nervous. Sorry if it seems silly..
> 
> Do people have advice on how to handle people like that for future reference?



I think 14's a little young to know for sure if you're asexual hun. You could just be a late bloomer, plenty of kids that age aren't interested in sex or even love sometimes. Either way people don't have the right to treat you this way. I would avoid making too much of a fuss and telling everyone around you that you believe you are asexual. Most kids your age won't understand and will be disrespectful about it and it'll only make things worse and they'll be no reasoning with them. Just brush it off for now, tell them you have better things to do. That's nothing more than my personal advice of course.


----------



## Clara Oswald

tsundere said:


> Ok wow thats really wrong and im sorry. Honestly im not asexual or on the aromantic scale at all so i dont know what to say. But if you feel like you can say you're asexual safely, then go for it. They will probably ask questions like "what does asexual mean??" but hopefully they'll understand. Another thing to do is to tell them to knock off the rape jokes. Asexual or not, you dont ever say that



Thank you for the advice

- - - Post Merge - - -



Titi said:


> I think 14's a little young to know for sure if you're asexual hun. You could just be a late bloomer, plenty of kids that age aren't interested in sex or even love sometimes. Either way people don't have the right to treat you this way. I would avoid making too much of a fuss and telling everyone around you that you believe you are asexual. Most kids your age won't understand and will be disrespectful about it and it'll only make things worse and they'll be no reasoning with them. Just brush it off for now, tell them you have better things to do. That's nothing more than my personal advice of course.



I've only told a few close friends at the minute but I do know I am asexual. I can't tell you why I just know that I am. Thanks for the advice. I think I will keep it with the people I've told.


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

Uxie said:


> Here we go..
> 
> I'm asexual and I am a finally ready to tell the world. Asexuals actually get plenty of discrimination, I'm 14 and I've already heard someone say they just need a "good raping" about me. I don't know if it was a joke but the person who said it isn't the joking sought at all. But I want to accept who I am and if people say stuff like that they can get out of my life tbh. So that's why I was kinda nervous. Sorry if it seems silly..
> 
> Do people have advice on how to handle people like that for future reference?


I'm sorry. People can be extremely insensitive and ignorant. Don't ignore threats, though. It's not safe. I'd say to report them, but only if you feel safe doing so.

As for your sexuality itself, it's brave of you to come out. A lot of people can't. And that's okay. There's no Obligation to. It's completely a person's business. Just keep that in mind. You don't have to let anyone know unless you want to. It's really brave of you to tell us, though.



Titi said:


> I think 14's a little young to know for sure if you're asexual hun. You could just be a late bloomer, plenty of kids that age aren't interested in sex or even love sometimes. Either way people don't have the right to treat you this way. I would avoid making too much of a fuss and telling everyone around you that you believe you are asexual. Most kids your age won't understand and will be disrespectful about it and it'll only make things worse and they'll be no reasoning with them. Just brush it off for now, tell them you have better things to do. That's nothing more than my personal advice of course.


Honestly, I don't think anyone is too young to know their sexuality. They may not fully understand it, and that's okay. Sexuality is fluid anyway. There are people who knew their sexuality from a young age and those who discovered it later in life. Their are people who can't find theirs. None of them are wrong. But it is important to keep in mind that sexuality is fluid and not a concrete that must be labeled.


----------



## Clara Oswald

MozzarellaSticks said:


> I'm sorry. People can be extremely insensitive and ignorant. Don't ignore threats, though. It's not safe. I'd say to report them, but only if you feel safe doing so.
> 
> As for your sexuality itself, it's brave of you to come out. A lot of people can't. And that's okay. There's no Obligation to. It's completely a person's business. Just keep that in mind. You don't have to let anyone know unless you want to. It's really brave of you to tell us, though.
> 
> Honestly, I don't think anyone is too young to know their sexuality. They may not fully understand it, and that's okay. Sexuality is fluid anyway. There are people who knew their sexuality from a young age and those who discovered it later in life. Their are people who can't find theirs. None of them are wrong. But it is important to keep in mind that sexuality is fluid and not a concrete that must be labeled.



Thank you! It was pretty scary, because I've received that threat. I won't report it because it's someone I should get on with for my best friends sake


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

Uxie said:


> Thank you! It was pretty scary, because I've received that threat. I won't report it because it's someone I should get on with for my best friends sake


I can't recommend that you continue associating with someone like that. It doesn't sound safe. If your best friend really is your best friend they should understand. But I'm not in your situation. I don't understand it fully. And it is your life. Make the decision you feel is in the best interest of your safety.


----------



## Clara Oswald

MozzarellaSticks said:


> I can't recommend that you continue associating with someone like that. It doesn't sound safe. If your best friend really is your best friend they should understand. But I'm not in your situation. I don't understand it fully. And it is your life. Make the decision you feel is in the best interest of your safety.



I will, the person generally is all bark and no bite so I'm not too worried just a bit shocked and shaken up


----------



## Lady Timpani

Uxie said:


> I will, the person generally is all bark and no bite so I'm not too worried just a bit shocked and shaken up



Do you hang out with this person often? I've found that a way to distance myself from toxic people is to gradually draw away from them until they lose interest. Generally speaking I don't really go out of my way to talk to them-- I respond if they talk to me, but I don't initiate conversations and I don't keep the conversations we do have going for very long. Usually they get the message or just consider your boring and don't want much to do with you after that. 

On a completely different note, how do some of you guys feel about the q word (I have no idea if the forum allows this word, but I'm sure everyone knows what I mean)? I know a lot of people who use it, but I also know people who hate it and try to avoid it as much as possible.


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

I like the q word. Probably because I can't find a label for myself and prefer to use it instead. Almost everyone I know uses it to refer to the entire group itself and those in the categories and subcategories.


----------



## Clara Oswald

Lady Timpani said:


> Do you hang out with this person often? I've found that a way to distance myself from toxic people is to gradually draw away from them until they lose interest. Generally speaking I don't really go out of my way to talk to them-- I respond if they talk to me, but I don't initiate conversations and I don't keep the conversations we do have going for very long. Usually they get the message or just consider your boring and don't want much to do with you after that.
> 
> On a completely different note, how do some of you guys feel about the q word (I have no idea if the forum allows this word, but I'm sure everyone knows what I mean)? I know a lot of people who use it, but I also know people who hate it and try to avoid it as much as possible.



I don't try to talk to them really, he is in my group of friends so I can't avoid him entirely as I have no were else to go. Thanks for the advice I will put it into practice


----------



## Lady Timpani

MozzarellaSticks said:


> I like the q word. Probably because I can't find a label for myself and prefer to use it instead. Almost everyone I know uses it to refer to the entire group itself and those in the categories and subcategories.



Same. Tbh I find it difficult to use the acronym because it's ever expanding and certain parts of it can be misconstrued-- also it's kind of a mouthful lmao. I can understand why people (mainly the older generation) don't like it, but I think until we find a better word for it, it's the nest we've got.


----------



## Gizmodo

Practically everyone knows now and theyre all so supportive and say ill pass rly well and im so happy im finally Jenna like egrhhrhwrhrwhrhwehwrhwr
Buying my new wardrobe is so fun


----------



## radical6

Titi said:


> I think 14's a little young to know for sure if you're asexual hun. You could just be a late bloomer, plenty of kids that age aren't interested in sex or even love sometimes. Either way people don't have the right to treat you this way. I would avoid making too much of a fuss and telling everyone around you that you believe you are asexual. Most kids your age won't understand and will be disrespectful about it and it'll only make things worse and they'll be no reasoning with them. Just brush it off for now, tell them you have better things to do. That's nothing more than my personal advice of course.



I don't think 14 is too young. If they're confident that they're asexual, then let them be. People know from the beginning, and for others they learn later. There's nothing wrong with knowing at a young age. They already know.

Also for the q word, it's really hard for me to not use it as a catch all term for non straight people. I use the term "LGB+" or non-het people when talking about it I guess. I didn't know the Q word was even a slur though. Mostly because it's never used around here, but down south it's an insult.


----------



## cannedcommunism

I'm currently not sure what I am. I'm wavering between straight and bi, currently leaning a bit towards bi. But if I decide that I'm bi, what do I do about it? I'm afraid that I'll lose a hell of a lot of friends because of it, so I don't know what to do about this.


----------



## flurry

i'm a bit scared of coming out as nonbinary to my friends. they tend to make fun of "transtrenders" (even though they're all cis..), and  i don't want to lose them. but getting referred to by she/her pronouns by them is seriously starting to get on my nerves.


----------



## Glaed

flurry said:


> i'm a bit scared of coming out as nonbinary to my friends. they tend to make fun of "transtrenders" (even though they're all cis..), and  i don't want to lose them. but getting referred to by she/her pronouns by them is seriously starting to get on my nerves.



I understand that completely. I'm genderfluid, and being referred to as a "girl" or "lady" irritates me like no other. But I'm worried that if I told my friends (or heaven forbid, parents oh god), they'd just laugh. i have no problem kicking people out of my life that can't respect me. But it's hard with people I've been attached to for a long time. :c 

Do you have any lgbtqa groups near you? I'm looking into joining one, and hoping I can find some people there who aren't cis, just so I can have someone to connect with without feeling ridiculed for my gender. 

Also, I found it very comforting to have friends online who are nonbinary/genderfluid, because we can share are experiences and advice and stuff. : D they're like my support group.


----------



## Farobi

FoxWolf64 said:


> I'm currently not sure what I am. I'm wavering between straight and bi, currently leaning a bit towards bi. But if I decide that I'm bi, what do I do about it? I'm afraid that I'll lose a hell of a lot of friends because of it, so I don't know what to do about this.


You're only one or the other, sorry. You're still young so I don't think you should be quick to judge yourself yet.


----------



## cannedcommunism

Farobi said:


> You're only one or the other, sorry. You're still young so I don't think you should be quick to judge yourself yet.



That's what I said. I'm not sure what I am.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Gizmodo said:


> Practically everyone knows now and theyre all so supportive and say ill pass rly well and im so happy im finally Jenna like egrhhrhwrhrwhrhwehwrhwr
> Buying my new wardrobe is so fun



This is super cute! uvu Congratulations and good luck.


----------



## cannedcommunism

Gizmodo said:


> Practically everyone knows now and theyre all so supportive and say ill pass rly well and im so happy im finally Jenna like egrhhrhwrhrwhrhwehwrhwr
> Buying my new wardrobe is so fun



Congratulations! I would never change genders, and even if I wanted to, I would be to scared to see what people would think. But you did what was right for you! Congrats!


----------



## radical6

flurry said:


> i'm a bit scared of coming out as nonbinary to my friends. they tend to make fun of "transtrenders" (even though they're all cis..), and  i don't want to lose them. but getting referred to by she/her pronouns by them is seriously starting to get on my nerves.



when i came out most of my friends didnt really understand, but theyre on the tumblr sj scene so they began to accept it. i mean theres the occasional misgender here and there but they've gotten better at it

anyway if they use the term "Transtrenders" then they're probably truscum. try to explain that "transtrender" isnt real just like people who "fake bisexuality". they dont have the right to determine your gender. i'm sure that you at least have one friend who isn't transphobic/truscum.. they really shouldn't stick their noses in peoples identities anyway if they're cis because it's not something they can understand on the same level. i was pretty hesitant to come out to some friends because although they're not really anti sj they reblog offensive things sometimes. im pretty paranoid they think im a transtrender or something but for the most part you should try to convince your friends maybe?? idk. dont say it outright like "hey im nb and this isnt cool" until they're growing to become accepting. maybe slip in little comments here and there "it's their choice, their life, not yours" or something like that and see how they react? maybe you can change their mind. but good luck


----------



## Titi

MozzarellaSticks said:


> Honestly, I don't think anyone is too young to know their sexuality. They may not fully understand it, and that's okay. Sexuality is fluid anyway. There are people who knew their sexuality from a young age and those who discovered it later in life. Their are people who can't find theirs. None of them are wrong. But it is important to keep in mind that sexuality is fluid and not a concrete that must be labeled.



Aye, some people know their sexuality from a very young age, but asexuality is different in the sense that it's defined by the lack of sexual need/want and sometimes even romantic relationships. Considering this only spawns during teen years anyway it can be normal for a young teen to not be attracted by sex at all yet and it will come a few years later in life. It's significantly different from realizing that you're attracted to the same gender for example. You see what I mean? 
It's totally possible that they are in fact asexual, but it's not set in stone.


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

Titi said:


> Aye, some people know their sexuality from a very young age, but asexuality is different in the sense that it's defined by the lack of sexual need/want and sometimes even romantic relationships. Considering this only spawns during teen years anyway it can be normal for a young teen to not be attracted by sex at all yet and it will come a few years later in life. It's significantly different from realizing that you're attracted to the same gender for example. You see what I mean?
> It's totally possible that they are in fact asexual, but it's not set in stone.


Sexuality is never set in stone. Just want to point that out. It's very much fluid.

But if we say that asexuality can't be fully realized until adolescence we have to say the same about all sexuality. Because your argument is that children can't be attracted to sex, so therefore they can't know what sexes/genders they prefer. Which would lead us to believe that those young are feeling their romantic attraction, not sexual. But then an argument can be made that children don't understand romantic attraction.

Honestly this is an area where I, like many, am on the fence. Because children do have somewhat of an understanding on the topic and their feelings, but not enough to fully comprehend. Plus they have not reached sexual maturity.


----------



## Lady Timpani

I think kids can have a general idea of their sexualities, but those may change. For example, when I was younger, I had crushes on boys and girls. Now that I'm older I realize I was mistaking my feelings of friendship for those boys for feeling of romantic attraction. However, I still experience romantic and sexual attraction to women (not a whole lot lately, but just in general). 

To better fit the a sexuality argument, though, we can take my friend. At 10, she always said she wasn't interested in anybody, regardless of gender. When she was 15, she came out as asexual. Recently she's begun to realize she might not actually be asexual. I have no idea if, as Titi said, she was a "late bloomer" or what. 

But, I do agree that sexuality is fluid, so it's kind of one big gray area for me lol.


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

Lady Timpani said:


> To better fit the a sexuality argument, though, we can take my friend. At 10, she always said she wasn't interested in anybody, regardless of gender. When she was 15, she came out as asexual. Recently she's begun to realize she might not actually be asexual. I have no idea if, as Titi said, she was a "late bloomer" or what.


I've heard a term greysexual to describe something similar. Basically it's when someone rarely feels sexual attraction and is predominantly asexual. Like falling between asexual and not. I've mainly seen it used when people can't feel sexual attraction until love is established.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Ye, I've heard it as well. I think she has too, since she did a fair amount of research into the asexual community? But I don't think that's the way she identifies.


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

I couldn't help. I suck at labels. I couldn't accurately label myself and just kind of went with it no label. I just see the spectrum as too broad to accurately pinpoint one spot. Plenty of people prefer having a name, though. It's a personal preference thing I guess.


----------



## Clara Oswald

Are you still talking about wether I can safely say I'm asexual or not just because I'm 14?


----------



## Bowie

All right, so, I've been labelling myself as bisexual for quite a long time now, and, I was wondering if that was right. You see, I am perfectly capable of having both romantic and sexual feelings in relation to men, but, I find it hard to like women sexually. I love women, but, don't love them in a sexual way. So, is it right for me to refer to myself as bisexual?


----------



## radical6

Bowie said:


> All right, so, I've been labelling myself as bisexual for quite a long time now, and, I was wondering if that was right. You see, I am perfectly capable of having both romantic and sexual feelings in relation to men, but, I find it hard to like women sexually. I love women, but, don't love them in a sexual way. So, is it right for me to refer to myself as bisexual?


Yes
I think you can use the word heteroromantic bisexual I think?? It means you're interested in dating women but not sexually, but you're still okay with dating men. I think that's the term. It's something like that.


----------



## Lady Timpani

tsundere said:


> Yes
> I think you can use the word heteroromantic bisexual I think?? It means you're interested in dating women but not sexually, but you're still okay with dating men. I think that's the term. It's something like that.



I think it'd be biromantic heterosexual since they like women romantically but not sexually.


----------



## radical6

Lady Timpani said:


> I think it'd be biromantic heterosexual since they like women romantically but not sexually.



I thought Bowie was a dude though. So it would make him a heteromantic bisexual because he loves women but only romantically, but is still bi because he's interested in men sexually and romantically?? idk 
Idk my friend said you could also be a biromantic homosexual


----------



## Lady Timpani

tsundere said:


> I thought Bowie was a dude though. So it would make him a heteromantic bisexual because he loves women but only romantically, but is still bi because he's interested in men sexually and romantically?? idk
> Idk my friend said you could also be a biromantic homosexual



Haha whoops I didn't know Bowie was a guy. Idk either way's right like your friend said


----------



## Bowie

tsundere said:


> Yes
> I think you can use the word heteroromantic bisexual I think?? It means you're interested in dating women but not sexually, but you're still okay with dating men. I think that's the term. It's something like that.



I think that means you're sexually interested in the opposite sex, but, not romantically. I'm the opposite of that. I can love women, but, not sexually. I can love men both romantically and sexually.


----------



## radical6

Bowie said:


> I think that means you're sexually interested in the opposite sex, but, not romantically. I'm the opposite of that. I can love women, but, not sexually. I can love men both romantically and sexually.



I'm really confused because i thought ___romantic words meant you're attracted to them romantically but not sexually


----------



## Bowie

tsundere said:


> I'm really confused because i thought ___romantic words meant you're attracted to them romantically but not sexually



I don't know anymore.


----------



## Lady Timpani

tsundere said:


> I'm really confused because i thought ___romantic words meant you're attracted to them romantically but not sexually



No, you're right.


----------



## radical6

is there any dysphoric AFAB trans people here :<


Spoiler: idk



idk if what i have is dypshoria sometimes cuz like..sometimes im really sad and i hate my chest a lot but sometimes i feel okay???? idk????????????? i dont really have bottom dysphoria but my top bothers me a lot and i cant get a binder so i dunno. i was gonna make one but my parents would stop me so. idk my question is do i have dysphoria or?? like i thought i did but i dont really have bottom dysphoria soooo


also i found out theres a trans boy at my school, cool. people got really mad at him though for getting into the boys line..for a game. like not even the bathroom. it was just a game. they wouldnt shut up about it dear god. one of the kids who were really pissed off about it heard i was bi/pan and was like "omg how can i be friends with that person ??" im like bruh no one said we were ever friends


----------



## pokecrysis

tsundere said:


> also i found out theres a trans boy at my school, cool. people got really mad at him though for getting into the boys line..for a game. like not even the bathroom. it was just a game. they wouldnt shut up about it dear god. one of the kids who were really pissed off about it heard i was bi/pan and was like "omg how can i be friends with that person ??" im like bruh no one said we were ever friends


the people at your school seem like ****ty people


----------



## Lady Timpani

People are so stupid omg

There's a trans girl in my marching band and some people are really crappy to her because she changes with the other girls at competitions. They say it's bad bc she's not "actually a girl yet" but like

First of all, who cares if she doesn't use hormones or hasn't had surgery, she's still a girl lmao
Second of all, "changing" is literally putting on your uniform it's not like anyone's getting naked you're just putting more clothes on get over yourself

Also, I'm not trans, so I can't really relate. :c I will say that I used to have some dysphoria growing up but??? That probably doesn't help you, sorry.


----------



## radical6

pokecrysis said:


> the people at your school seem like ****ty people


they are



Lady Timpani said:


> People are so stupid omg
> 
> There's a trans girl in my marching band and some people are really crappy to her because she changes with the other girls at competitions. They say it's bad bc she's not "actually a girl yet" but like
> 
> First of all, who cares if she doesn't use hormones or hasn't had surgery, she's still a girl lmao
> Second of all, "changing" is literally putting on your uniform it's not like anyone's getting naked you're just putting more clothes on get over yourself
> 
> Also, I'm not trans, so I can't really relate. :c I will say that I used to have some dysphoria growing up but??? That probably doesn't help you, sorry.



yeah. honestly when people change its not like they strip naked?? not here anyway because we dont use the showers yet. but like no one is going to strip naked. i mean some people do and they walk around the locker room and im like ok, but i dont really care. most people have a tanktop and underwear?? its funny that people think that trans girls will prey on girls in the bathrooms and locker rooms, because there's never been an incident where a trans girl peaked on a girl or harassed a girl. it's always cis girls attacking trans girls in the restrooms. like this trans girl never used the bathroom but a bunch of these families got really concerned and kept attacking her and said they were praying for "him" im like lmao wtf


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

I think we have a really unhealthy view of naked bodies, and hide them far too much while overly exposing "perfect" ones. But that's a whole different topic.

I never really come out to people they just pick up on it after a while because I don't hide it. Well, I do when I am with people I know won't understand. It's not worth the headache to me.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Ye I don't understand what the big deal is with hating on trans girls. I guess people just feel threatened by the fact that someone who was "born as a man" didn't actually want to be a man? Idk if I explained that the best but it's this feeling I get

There's also a trans boy at our school and while it seems most people accept him, there's this girl who claims to be his best friend that said "even if she gets surgery to become a guy, she's still going to be [birth name] to me, not [chosen name]". When she said that I gave her a weird look because I thought her logic was backwards, but she thought that I thought she was a bigot because she said "oh, I don't judge".

Idk I really think she doesn't judge but at the same time she's erasing his identity so it's just as bad? It seems like a lot of the people who call themselves allies at my school are more harmful than they are helpful, and they don't realize it.


----------



## radical6

Lady Timpani said:


> Ye I don't understand what the big deal is with hating on trans girls. I guess people just feel threatened by the fact that someone who was "born as a man" didn't actually want to be a man? Idk if I explained that the best but it's this feeling I get
> 
> There's also a trans boy at our school and while it seems most people accept him, there's this girl who claims to be his best friend that said "even if she gets surgery to become a guy, she's still going to be [birth name] to me, not [chosen name]". When she said that I gave her a weird look because I thought her logic was backwards, but she thought that I thought she was a bigot because she said "oh, I don't judge".
> 
> Idk I really think she doesn't judge but at the same time she's erasing his identity so it's just as bad? It seems like a lot of the people who call themselves allies at my school are more harmful than they are helpful, and they don't realize it.



Trans girls have always received hate over like the smallest crap. Trans men are more likely to be accepted imo because people don't see them as a threat. 

Umm what she said was bad. She's basically saying "I know they're trans and all and don't go with that name, but they're always going to be a girl to me".


----------



## Lady Timpani

Out of curiosity, how accepting would you guys say that your areas are? My area's fairly accepting (when I filled out a firm to allow my school newspaper to print one of my articles, they had an option where you could pick your pronouns from he, she, they, or other), but like I said above, they're kind of clueless and can be more harmful than they intend to be.


----------



## radical6

Lady Timpani said:


> Out of curiosity, how accepting would you guys say that your areas are? My area's fairly accepting (when I filled out a firm to allow my school newspaper to print one of my articles, they had an option where you could pick your pronouns from he, she, they, or other), but like I said above, they're kind of clueless and can be more harmful than they intend to be.



Awww I wish my school was like that
For the most part, people here are clueless yeah, but they try to support. Gay marriage is legal here so most people are supportive. Though not 100% if you know what I mean. They're more like the "i support but i dont agree" with it type I suppose. People here are very transphobic though.


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

Lady Timpani said:


> Out of curiosity, how accepting would you guys say that your areas are? My area's fairly accepting (when I filled out a firm to allow my school newspaper to print one of my articles, they had an option where you could pick your pronouns from he, she, they, or other), but like I said above, they're kind of clueless and can be more harmful than they intend to be.


Eh, fairly accepting but there are some bigots. They're also pretty ignorant overall and judgmental. Even the allies tend to have narrow definitions. They were very tolerant of gay kids in school, though. For the most part.


----------



## Lady Timpani

tsundere said:


> Awww I wish my school was like that
> For the most part, people here are clueless yeah, but they try to support. Gay marriage is legal here so most people are supportive. Though not 100% if you know what I mean. They're more like the "i support but i dont agree" with it type I suppose. People here are very transphobic though.



Yeah, I know some people who are kind of "q"phobic but don't really harp on about it which. I guess is nice lol but...

And I've noticed that a lot of people who support gay rights here really aren't down with trans rights. I find it baffling tbh-- and even though the school newspaper has nb pronouns, the GSA is kind of? Idk I went to one meeting and all we focused on was gays (in particular gay males) even though there were trans members in the room. It was pretty disappointing, especially because there were some newspaper staff in there who didn't bring up anything else.


----------



## mayorsam

_(did not realize there was a LGBTQA thread here)_
_*(pleasantly surprised)*_

Semi-closeted lesbian reporting in
Semi-closeted meaning it's not exactly a secret but .. it's still kinda a secret.
I plan to wait for the 'revealing' whenever I get into a serious relationship which I still have lots of time for.
It's like I'm sitting in the closet but the door is open.

I've had struggles recently with dating because like I tried dating a boy kinda recently (few months ago) and yeah
Didn't work at all
I took into consideration the "You aren't GAY you just haven't FOUND THE RIGHT BOY YET" thing
But
no..
To put it shortly, he kissed me and I wanted to vomit. We haven't spoken since because he didn't want to be just friends.
A+ awkward moment


----------



## Lady Timpani

Oh, I know where you're coming from! I also don't plan on coming out to my parents until I'm in a relationship, which will probably be sometime in college judging by the past couple of years. It kind of sucks lol but it also doesn't really bother me? Idk. 

Good luck with everything! C:


----------



## mayorsam

Lady Timpani said:


> Oh, I know where you're coming from! I also don't plan on coming out to my parents until I'm in a relationship, which will probably be sometime in college judging by the past couple of years. It kind of sucks lol but it also doesn't really bother me? Idk.
> 
> Good luck with everything! C:



Agreed, college will probably be the right time for me as well. Just another year or two.
Especially because dating as someone who does online school/is unbearably antisocial is extremely difficult, but add on homosexual to that, it becomes _entirely impossible_ o:

I'm not in much of a rush anyways though cx

And thank you!


----------



## Flop

Not trying to be that loser self-advertiser, but feel free to join the LGBTQIA+ group we have!  We still need more members to make it a successful group, so feel free to join and show your support on your profile 

http://www.belltreeforums.com/group.php?groupid=28


----------



## Solar

My area is overall REALLY accepting of this stuff. I'm pretty proud as alot of people are really open about their sexuality and people are really nice up here!


----------



## Byebi

Sorry if I'm coming off as ignorant but could someone please explain to me an asexual person's mind works?? like I heard they can still be attracted to people but ...? :c I don't really understand it and would really like to know.


----------



## radical6

BibiBurger said:


> Sorry if I'm coming off as ignorant but could someone please explain to me an asexual person's mind works?? like I heard they can still be attracted to people but ...? :c I don't really understand it and would really like to know.



Depends really. I might be wrong (please correct me) but asexuals can experience romantic attraction, just not sexual attraction. They might still want sex though but they don't find the person sexy if that makes sense


----------



## Geoni

When you're asexual you're not interested in sex. With either gender. However, that's not to say that asexual people don't date or have relationships, or even have sex if it's for the partner. You can still be attracted to people for any reason you want to be attracted for if you're asexual. 

Also, gay here. Used to be a president of a gay straight alliance back in high school where I pushed myself and others to learn a lot about all members of the LGBTQA spectrum. That was 2 years ago though!


----------



## Clara Oswald

BibiBurger said:


> Sorry if I'm coming off as ignorant but could someone please explain to me an asexual person's mind works?? like I heard they can still be attracted to people but ...? :c I don't really understand it and would really like to know.



They can still experience romantic attraction but I have no interest in sex, some may even feel ill at the idea. Some asexuals do choose to have sex with a partner but only usually to have a child. But there are variations in asexuality.


----------



## radical6

I've heard some asexuals like the idea of sex because of pleasure or w/e, but don't personally find the person sexually attractive idk so i guess they can do that and have sex with their partner if they want to?


----------



## Alice

My area is very conservative and my sexuality has attracted some malicious comments. My family and friends are supportive, but my past girlfriend and I were always a bit shaky on public displays of affection.

Whoops? was I on a different page. I'll still leave this here though. Just because.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Flop said:


> Not trying to be that loser self-advertiser, but feel free to join the LGBTQIA+ group we have!  We still need more members to make it a successful group, so feel free to join and show your support on your profile
> 
> http://www.belltreeforums.com/group.php?groupid=28



I didn't actually know there was a group for this. o: Thank you!


----------



## radical6

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/449712393/the-switch-a-fantastic-transgender-comedy-0
"The Switch is the first transgender comedy to air on television and the first television show to put a trans actor in the lead role. With your support, we can create a landmark show that celebrates trans actors and trans stories.

This isn't just about making a TV show. It's about tearing down the wall.

Help us tear down the socially-constructed walls that limit trans actors and creators from telling our own stories and representing ourselves in TV and film."

dont have money to back up but cool


----------



## Camillion

Hello, everyone! I'm Cam, a Genderfluid asexual panromantic in a relationship with a lovely girl c:


----------



## Lady Timpani

Yooo that's pretty cool! Too bad I also don't have money sigh. 

And hiya!


----------



## f11

Today my 29 year old sister  came out to us. (She's bi) But she hasn't told our parents yet; they are still reluctant to accept gay people and other things. Anyways we went out and met her Girlfriend, and she was really nice. 

Just thought I'd share my story.


----------



## ACNiko

ccemuka said:


> Today my 29 year old sister  came out to us. (She's bi) But she hasn't told our parents yet; they are still reluctant to accept gay people and other things. Anyways we went out and met her Girlfriend, and she was really nice.
> 
> Just thought I'd share my story.



That's nice. I hope it ends well with telling your parents. 

I'm also bisexual, but nobody knows. My family is absolutely not homophobic, but I would still feel uncomfortable telling them. I hope I'll have the courage to tell them some day though.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Camillion said:


> Hello, everyone! I'm Cam, a Genderfluid asexual panromantic in a relationship with a lovely girl c:



What does genderfluid mean?


----------



## mayorsam

LoveMcQueen said:


> What does genderfluid mean?



Genderfluidity is a basic term which means that someone doesn't fit into normal gender standards, often used by people which feel their gender is neither boy or girl, or they switch between feeling like a boy or girl. They just can't identify themselves as either, and therefore define themselves as genderfluid.

The word fluidity by itself means 'flowing easily', so just apply that to the idea of gender.


----------



## Goshi

All of my support! Not only because I'm LGBT myself, but I believe everyone no matter what their orientation is should have the right to marry.


----------



## Stevey Queen

mayorsam said:


> Genderfluidity is a basic term which means that someone doesn't fit into normal gender standards, often used by people which feel their gender is neither boy or girl, or they switch between feeling like a boy or girl. They just can't identify themselves as either, and therefore define themselves as genderfluid.
> 
> The word fluidity by itself means 'flowing easily', so just apply that to the idea of gender.



Oh wow. I didn't know that was a thing.

There was only straight, gay, bi and trans back in my day so all these other sexualities and gender things(I couldn't find a better word, don't hate me please) are all very new to me and I see new terms every time I come on to this thread.

I support anything though c:


----------



## radical6

People who are genderfluid can also switch between being girl and nonbinary, or boy and nonbinary.


----------



## Flop

This thread helped me learn much more than what any of my friends could have actually told me.


----------



## tinytaylor

I'm straight but my best friend came out to me about three years ago. It was extremely emotional, we were talking and all of a sudden she asked me if I was homophobic (I was like 13 and didn't really know anything about lgbtqa) so she explained it to me and I told I didn't have a problem with it (I don't know why anyone would). She got really teary and told me she was lesbian and it was strange I didn't know why she was crying or why it was a problem. Now that I think of it she was probably worried because I'm Christian? Idk. Anyway I think it's a problem in her family and even though her parents are super chill I think the rest of her family would disown her (she has a closely knit hindu family). Later that day we were at dinner with her mom and I think the waiter was trans and that started a discussion from her mom about how it's gross... We went into the bathroom and she cried some more, it was really heartbreaking. I don't see her that often but I can tell she's suicidal now, she has cuts up her wrist and she burns herself on purpose, she told me not to tell anyone and she promised she'd stop. I'm really worried for her now 
(sorry if this is a big bolder of text I'm on mobile)

- - - Post Merge - - -

holy wow that's a bolder of text


----------



## radical6

ok before i start you cant really tell if someone is trans or cis. but either way, what her mother said was really disgusting. please stop her from hurting herself ): but i would just try to cheer her up and get her mind away from it


----------



## tinytaylor

tsundere said:


> ok before i start you cant really tell if someone is trans or cis. but either way, what her mother said was really disgusting. please stop her from hurting herself ): but i would just try to cheer her up and get her mind away from it



i can't really remember what they were, it might've been a built looking woman? i'm not sure and I really don't know all the correct terms (not in anyway trying to offend anyone) we've really drifted apart since then (she's busy with classes and dance on top of that she goes to a different school and I have classes and practice all 1st semester, we can hardly ever see each other bc out schedules collide.) i saw her maybe march and it's awkward because we didn't have much to talk about because of how long it's been.


----------



## radical6

you guys know any lgbt literature? i found a book about a boy in poverty who falls in love with another dude. i'll probably read it later. sadly theres not much lgbt literature


----------



## Lady Timpani

There's a book called Luna that's about a trans girl and her sister that I thought was pretty good. The same author (can't remember her name) writes a lot of LGBTQA stuff, but I've only read a couple of her books. Luna's probably her best IMO. 

Another book is Beautiful Music for Ugly Children which is about a trans guy. TW for transphobia and violence. It was pretty good, but I felt that there was something to be desired. Idk. 

I've also heard of a book called Middlesex which is either about an intersex or trans person (I've gotten conflicting summaries, so I'm not entirely sure), but I haven't read that one.


----------



## radical6

Lady Timpani said:


> There's a book called Luna that's about a trans girl and her sister that I thought was pretty good. The same author (can't remember her name) writes a lot of LGBTQA stuff, but I've only read a couple of her books. Luna's probably her best IMO.
> 
> Another book is Beautiful Music for Ugly Children which is about a trans guy. TW for transphobia and violence. It was pretty good, but I felt that there was something to be desired. Idk.
> 
> I've also heard of a book called Middlesex which is either about an intersex or trans person (I've gotten conflicting summaries, so I'm not entirely sure), but I haven't read that one.



Ooh I got to check those out then.
there should be more LGBTQIA+ lit tbh. maybe ill write some one day lol


----------



## Lady Timpani

Okay I just looked more into Middlesex and it appears to be about an intersex man. It also has incest in it, so you may want to avoid it if that would bother you.


----------



## Alice

Lady Timpani said:


> There's a book called Luna that's about a trans girl and her sister that I thought was pretty good. The same author (can't remember her name) writes a lot of LGBTQA stuff, but I've only read a couple of her books. Luna's probably her best IMO.
> 
> Another book is Beautiful Music for Ugly Children which is about a trans guy. TW for transphobia and violence. It was pretty good, but I felt that there was something to be desired. Idk.
> 
> I've also heard of a book called Middlesex which is either about an intersex or trans person (I've gotten conflicting summaries, so I'm not entirely sure), but I haven't read that one.



I think I remember reading Luna back in 2006. That was the one about Liam and Regan right?

IIRC it was written by Julie Anne Peters.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Alice said:


> I think I remember reading Luna back in 2006. That was the one about Liam and Regan right?
> 
> IIRC it was written by Julie Anne Peters.



Yeah, all of those names ring bells lol. I tried to read some of her other books, but I didn't like them as much as I liked Luna. I read it back in 2011 because one of my friends was in the school's book club and read it there.


----------



## Alice

Lady Timpani said:


> Yeah, all of those names ring bells lol. I tried to read some of her other books, but I didn't like them as much as I liked Luna. I read it back in 2011 because one of my friends was in the school's book club and read it there.



I'm not sure where I read it at, but we had a LGBT sort-of club/group thingy at one of my schools that did a lot of trans-reading too. I thought about joining but I was very much undetermined about my sexuality at that point.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Ah, I've also heard of Tipping the Velvet, if you want something more... adult. Annie On My Mind is another one people seem to read often, but somebody stole it from our library, so I haven't read it. I'll let you know if I think of/ come across more.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Alice said:


> I'm not sure where I read it at, but we had a LGBT sort-of club/group thingy at one of my schools that did a lot of trans-reading too. I thought about joining but I was very much undetermined about my sexuality at that point.



Oh, that's pretty neat! Was this during middle/ high school, or post-secondary education?


----------



## Alice

I believe it was highschool. I remember it forming in my sophomore year. It was open to allies too. It was kind of like an LGBT education & support group.


----------



## Rion45

tsundere said:


> you guys know any lgbt literature? i found a book about a boy in poverty who falls in love with another dude. i'll probably read it later. sadly theres not much lgbt literature


Do you know what the name of that book? It sounds interesting and I kinda wanna read it. I haven't read any LGBT books and I really want to start.


----------



## radical6

Rion45 said:


> Do you know what the name of that book? It sounds interesting and I kinda wanna read it. I haven't read any LGBT books and I really want to start.



Street Dreams. 
I was at the library and I found that by accident. I wanted to ask if they had more LGBT books but I was too nervous to ask


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

only 10 states in us allow gay marriage us government is stupid whos with me


----------



## Chris

tsundere said:


> you guys know any lgbt literature? i found a book about a boy in poverty who falls in love with another dude. i'll probably read it later. sadly theres not much lgbt literature



There is actually a lot of LGBT literature out there. There are various indie publishers dedicated to it. To find it, you need to look outside of the big book shops and mainstream literature and look into smaller publishing houses. The quality isn't always as good unfortunately - and my biggest peeve with them is that they often lack a plot beyond the LGBT aspect of the story. After you've read a couple dozen of them they all start to blend together.   

One book I'd recommend is _Edinburgh_ by Alexander Chee. But it is a heavy read. It's a coming-of-age story that focuses on a boy, Fee, who was molested as a child by his choir director, and how he grows-up struggling with the trauma from that experience. It spans across many years, starting from age twelve and continuing for over a decade, IIRC.

If you're more into fantasy / sci-fi, then I'd recommend the _Wraeththu_ books by Storm Constantine. It's a post-apocolayptic story about a hermaphroditic race. The first book, _The Enchantments of Flesh and Spirit_, involves the protagonist, a human boy named Pellaz, being taken away from his family and being transformed into a member of this new race and his ascent into their hierarchy. 

There are more I could recommend, but some of the scenes are incredibly explicit and I don't feel it would be appropriate to post them here. But if anyone's into fantasy I've got a great recommendation involving shape shifters - but I don't feel comfortable giving it's title out on an all-ages forum like this (so PM me if you're interested!). I also write LGBT stories and scripts, published under a pen name, and if anyone's interested I could put some of the unpublished cleaner ones up somewhere online to read for free.


----------



## Souji

I'd just like to report in and I actually got my F64.0 diagnosis in late March and I've been on HRT for bit over a week now! I feel really light and pretty good, tho I've become heavy sleeper and I'm hungry like all the time. :'D

As for literature, there's a really good book I've read called "Poika" (literally means "Boy" in Finnish), written by Marja Bj?rk but I don't think it has been translated into English... It's about a trans guy who has super unsupportive family.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Aoba said:


> I'd just like to report in and I actually got my F64.0 diagnosis in late March and I've been on HRT for bit over a week now! I feel really light and pretty good, tho I've become heavy sleeper and I'm hungry like all the time. :'D
> 
> As for literature, there's a really good book I've read called "Poika" (literally means "Boy" in Finnish), written by Marja Bj?rk but I don't think it has been translated into English... It's about a trans guy who has super unsupportive family.



That's great news! Congratulations. uvu

And Tina, that would be really cool. o: Do you have stuff already published under your pen name that we can check out, or is it all online stuff?


----------



## Chris

I have work published, but I'm not planning to give my pen name out just yet. Maybe in future I will.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Tina said:


> I have work published, but I'm not planning to give my pen name out just yet. Maybe in future I will.



Omg that's so cool! Good luck with your future stuff. o:


----------



## radical6

Tina said:


> There is actually a lot of LGBT literature out there. There are various indie publishers dedicated to it. To find it, you need to look outside of the big book shops and mainstream literature and look into smaller publishing houses. The quality isn't always as good unfortunately - and my biggest peeve with them is that they often lack a plot beyond the LGBT aspect of the story. After you've read a couple dozen of them they all start to blend together.
> 
> One book I'd recommend is _Edinburgh_ by Alexander Chee. But it is a heavy read. It's a coming-of-age story that focuses on a boy, Fee, who was molested as a child by his choir director, and how he grows-up struggling with the trauma from that experience. It spans across many years, starting from age twelve and continuing for over a decade, IIRC.
> 
> If you're more into fantasy / sci-fi, then I'd recommend the _Wraeththu_ books by Storm Constantine. It's a post-apocolayptic story about a hermaphroditic race. The first book, _The Enchantments of Flesh and Spirit_, involves the protagonist, a human boy named Pellaz, being taken away from his family and being transformed into a member of this new race and his ascent into their hierarchy.
> 
> There are more I could recommend, but some of the scenes are incredibly explicit and I don't feel it would be appropriate to post them here. But if anyone's into fantasy I've got a great recommendation involving shape shifters - but I don't feel comfortable giving it's title out on an all-ages forum like this (so PM me if you're interested!). I also write LGBT stories and scripts, published under a pen name, and if anyone's interested I could put some of the unpublished cleaner ones up somewhere online to read for free.



ooh ok. ill be sure to look into these.




Aoba said:


> I'd just like to report in and I actually got my F64.0 diagnosis in late March and I've been on HRT for bit over a week now! I feel really light and pretty good, tho I've become heavy sleeper and I'm hungry like all the time. :'D
> 
> As for literature, there's a really good book I've read called "Poika" (literally means "Boy" in Finnish), written by Marja Bj?rk but I don't think it has been translated into English... It's about a trans guy who has super unsupportive family.



good luck!

alsooo check this out: http://www.blackandpink.org/pen-pals/
i think im kinda too young but still this is super neat


----------



## radical6

Interesting video to watch. 
I heard that a trans woman got killed lately, so that's really a bummer :/ It happened yesterday, too.


----------



## Beary

;___; I feel so bad for the trans people who get killed.
One of my sisters would probably go trans, but her mom ( not my mom, she's my half sister ) doesn't approve.


Anyways, I questioned my sexuality a while back, and decided that I'm straight, but maybe bi.


----------



## Alice

oh the trials and tribulations of falling in love with a straight girl.

I guess you can't help you fall in love with. Sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being cruel and torturing her with some of my more sincere and intense feelings.

I'm mean.


----------



## radical6

Alice said:


> oh the trials and tribulations of falling in love with a straight girl.
> 
> I guess you can't help you fall in love with. Sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being cruel and torturing her with some of my more sincere and intense feelings.
> 
> I'm mean.



I feel you. I like girls irl but they think I'm a chick so I know I have no chance since all of them are straight. Did you tell her or? But you can't help crushes, they just happen.


----------



## Beary

Alice said:


> oh the trials and tribulations of falling in love with a straight girl.
> 
> I guess you can't help you fall in love with. Sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being cruel and torturing her with some of my more sincere and intense feelings.
> 
> I'm mean.



My sister ( who's lesbian ) told me that she developed crushes on all of her friends, and most of the time, you just have to get over them and find someone else.
I know what it feels like to have your heartstrings pulled when the other person doesn't see the same way you do.


----------



## Alice

tsundere said:


> I feel you. I like girls irl but they think I'm a chick so I know I have no chance since all of them are straight. Did you tell her or? But you can't help crushes, they just happen.



Yeah. We've worked though this. I completely understand, but sometimes I feel a bit bad.


----------



## Byebi

Alice said:


> Yeah. We've worked though this. I completely understand, but sometimes I feel a bit bad.



♪(*ﾉ・ω・)ﾉ♫ Don't feel bad!
Be glad! ♩ヽ(・ω・ヽ*)♬


----------



## Alice

BibiBurger said:


> ♪(*ﾉ・ω・)ﾉ♫ Don't feel bad!
> Be glad! ♩ヽ(・ω・ヽ*)♬



SHHPPPHHH GET OUT OF HERE.  ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻


----------



## oath2order

tsundere said:


> Interesting video to watch.
> I heard that a trans woman got killed lately, so that's really a bummer :/ It happened yesterday, too.



I honestly cannot understand this community. "Ugh I'm so tired of allies" I hear from the LGB side and now this lady (at 4:05) says we have to be allies? I thought the community was tired of allies and now we're supposed to be that? What?

7:40 - "If you're cis you're also probably part of the problem." I'm sorry but screw her. I'm not part of this problem, she can piss off.


----------



## Zeiro

one random person with a camera and a YouTube account does not speak for an entire community


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

The community is hard to understand. Because some don't believe in certain groups, some hate allies, some are too radical, some are ignorant. It's just weird.


----------



## oath2order

Zeiro said:


> one random person with a camera and a YouTube account does not speak for an entire community



I see the "ally" thing a lot though.


----------



## davidfosterwallace

oath2order said:


> I see the "ally" thing a lot though.



You have to remember that a consistent and coherent narrative is impossible to accomplish in a movement/community that values petty in-fighting over advancing the "message," so to speak.


----------



## Lady Timpani

The ally thing baffles me tbh. I do agree that there are "allies" who harm more than they help (one kid at my school comes to mind), but we shouldn't be lumping them in with people who genuinely want to help. 

I've been trying to make the message have more substance, but this is the only thing I can say that makes sense to me. I will say that most of the allies I have met have been fairly good about actually being allies, although they do focus on things that get more focus than, say, trans issues. I've found this to be more of a community at large problem than just an ally thing, though.


----------



## cismouse

a bit unrelated but i think that the acronym "mogii" (Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex) is a good replacement for both the lgbtq acronym and the word queer in general, taking down the problem of straight people complaining about the ""long acronym"" and the fact that queer is still a slur even if reclaimed and should only be a self-identifier (and not used by straight people). what do you all think?


----------



## Titi

Alice said:


> oh the trials and tribulations of falling in love with a straight girl.
> 
> I guess you can't help you fall in love with. Sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being cruel and torturing her with some of my more sincere and intense feelings.
> 
> I'm mean.



Gurl tell me about it.  Been there.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

cismouse said:


> a bit unrelated but i think that the acronym "mogii" (Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex) is a good replacement for both the lgbtq acronym and the word queer in general, taking down the problem of straight people complaining about the ""long acronym"" and the fact that queer is still a slur even if reclaimed and should only be a self-identifier (and not used by straight people). what do you all think?



I've never heard of that acronym... Personally, I like it. But I don't think it would catch on, even if it's more convenient.
The acronym LGBT has been around for a long time, so I doubt even people who are LGBT+ _themselves_ would be very willing to change what they call the community. People hate change.


----------



## Zeiro

cismouse said:


> a bit unrelated but i think that the acronym "mogii" (Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex) is a good replacement for both the lgbtq acronym and the word queer in general, taking down the problem of straight people complaining about the ""long acronym"" and the fact that queer is still a slur even if reclaimed and should only be a self-identifier (and not used by straight people). what do you all think?


queer is only a slur when cis people use it derogatorily.

and nobody wants to use "mogii" because the creator of mogii wanted to include child molesters and sex offenders into the group.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Zeiro said:


> queer is only a slur when cis people use it derogatorily.
> 
> and nobody wants to use "mogii" because the creator of mogii wanted to include child molesters and sex offenders into the group.



Wha-?? Really?


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

I am bisexual. 

Why is something so simple, so hard to explain to people. I'm not straight, I'm not gay, and the person that I'm in a relationship with doesn't mean I've "chosen a side". I just love them. Because they're them. I am still bi despite that. 

afjsklajfkas; /ranting


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

cismouse said:


> a bit unrelated but i think that the acronym "mogii" (Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex) is a good replacement for both the lgbtq acronym and the word queer in general, taking down the problem of straight people complaining about the ""long acronym"" and the fact that queer is still a slur even if reclaimed and should only be a self-identifier (and not used by straight people). what do you all think?


Kind of neat idea, but I'm done with new names and acronyms and things. I'll just stick with what exists.


----------



## goodra

mogii is fine, it sounds really weird but it covers everything. i won't use it though, no new acronym has caught on, and i doubt this one will either, but if it did then i guess i'd use it

everyone is so used to the current one, i doubt it will change soon. getting a community as big as this one to agree on one name will be hard



Zeiro said:


> and nobody wants to use "mogii" because the creator of mogii wanted to include child molesters and sex offenders into the group.



wasn't that with gsm? or did it happen with this one too? that happening once is too much already, gross


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> I am bisexual.
> 
> Why is something so simple, so hard to explain to people. I'm not straight, I'm not gay, and the person that I'm in a relationship with doesn't mean I've "chosen a side". I just love them. Because they're them. I am still bi despite that.
> 
> afjsklajfkas; /ranting


It's because they're just ignorant and don't want to even try to understand.


----------



## cismouse

wait, really? i didn't know the whole backstory of the mogii acronym. my bad. i just get really annoyed when cishet  people try and use the long acronym against people who fall under it (ex. people mocking it by adding keysmash, saying things like lgbwhatever) 
but there are a lot of lgbtqia people who feel uncomfortable around the word "queer" because it's a slur? like ****, or some other word like that. people who those words are used against can use them, but people who they are not used against shouldn't be allowed to use them. queer has a lot broader range than some reclaimed slurs, but that doesn't mean cishet people should be allowed to use it (in a derogatory way or not)
i guess another point was that mogii could solve the problem of everybody arguing over wether a stood for ally or asexual, which gets really tiring tbh


----------



## n64king

I don't like the word Queer. It makes me think of the f word (cigarette). Not to mention the image it puts in my head is obnoxious. I don't like **** either, it puts a bad image in my head too.


----------



## Zeiro

goodra said:


> wasn't that with gsm? or did it happen with this one too? that happening once is too much already, gross


i actually can't remember ahaha and i can't find any information on it. it's probably gsm, my bad.



cismouse said:


> i guess another point was that mogii could solve the problem of everybody arguing over wether a stood for ally or asexual, which gets really tiring tbh


the 'a' has always stood for 'asexual', whoever thinks it stands for 'ally' is a butt



n64king said:


> I don't like the word Queer. It makes me think of the f word (cigarette). Not to mention the image it puts in my head is obnoxious. I don't like **** either, it puts a bad image in my head too.


i was just saying some people use it to describe themselves (e.g. genderqueer)


----------



## radical6

idk i try not to refer to non-het people as qu**r since it's still used as a slur. but i wish there was a general word for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community that isnt a slur.


----------



## GameLaxer

tsundere said:


> idk i try not to refer to non-het people as qu**r since it's still used as a slur. but i wish there was a general word for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community that isnt a slur.



Some people in the community are ok with being called queer because they may feel like other acronyms or labels don't define them. However, being that it is used a slur sometimes, I think people can have misconceptions regarding the word. It's all about usage and desired intent when using the word...and that goes for a lot of words, too. Language is constantly evolving to normalize certain "outlandish" words that are viewed as negative and vice versa.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

tsundere said:


> idk i try not to refer to non-het people as qu**r since it's still used as a slur. but i wish there was a general word for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community that isnt a slur.



Unfortunately, so long as homophobia/transphobia/etc exists, that won't happen. :/ Bigots will twist any word the LGBTQIA+ community comes up with to mean something negative.

I think it's fine to call someone queer if the person you're referring to personally identifies as such, though. I mean, it'd be pretty rude to refuse to call them what they want to be called, too. lol


----------



## GameLaxer

Revolver Ocelot said:


> I am bisexual.
> 
> Why is something so simple, so hard to explain to people. I'm not straight, I'm not gay, and the person that I'm in a relationship with doesn't mean I've "chosen a side". I just love them. Because they're them. I am still bi despite that.
> 
> afjsklajfkas; /ranting



I can completely understand. You just love the person for being the person, not the gender. Obviously, gender does play a role in some aspects, as there are obvious differences, but it's not about the parts...it's about the hearts! XD I used to identify as bisexual, but now I identify as a lesbian...however, I believe that sexuality is a spectrum and that anyone has the potential to fall in love with anyone else, some have slimmer chances than others, obviously, but I think that it is human nature to love and be loved.

- - - Post Merge - - -



MozzarellaSticks said:


> I've heard a term greysexual to describe something similar. Basically it's when someone rarely feels sexual attraction and is predominantly asexual. Like falling between asexual and not. I've mainly seen it used when people can't feel sexual attraction until love is established.



I've also heard of terms like bi/homo/hetero-romantic asexual etc. meaning that someone can fall in love with another person, but may not experience sexual attraction. Another example would be bi-romantic homosexual (which I think I could possibly be, though I identify as a lesbian), where you can fall in love with both genders, but only are sexually attracted to your own.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

GameLaxer said:


> I can completely understand. You just love the person for being the person, not the gender. Obviously, gender does play a role in some aspects, as there are obvious differences, but it's not about the parts...it's about the hearts! XD I used to identify as bisexual, but now I identify as a lesbian...however, I believe that sexuality is a spectrum and that anyone has the potential to fall in love with anyone else, some have slimmer chances than others, obviously, but I think that it is human nature to love and be loved.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I've also heard of terms like bi/homo/hetero-romantic asexual etc. meaning that someone can fall in love with another person, but may not experience sexual attraction. Another example would be bi-romantic homosexual (which I think I could possibly be, though I identify as a lesbian), where you can fall in love with both genders, but only are sexually attracted to your own.



I think you're talking about sex here and not gender lol. Gender wise, the only thing that separates one identity from another is how they identify.


----------



## Box9Missingo

GameLaxer said:


> *I can completely understand. You just love the person for being the person, not the gender. Obviously, gender does play a role in some aspects, as there are obvious differences, but it's not about the parts...it's about the hearts! XD I used to identify as bisexual, but now I identify as a lesbian...however, I believe that sexuality is a spectrum and that anyone has the potential to fall in love with anyone else, some have slimmer chances than others, obviously, but I think that it is human nature to love and be loved.*
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I've also heard of terms like bi/homo/hetero-romantic asexual etc. meaning that someone can fall in love with another person, but may not experience sexual attraction. Another example would be bi-romantic homosexual (which I think I could possibly be, though I identify as a lesbian), where you can fall in love with both genders, but only are sexually attracted to your own.


Very good point, Gamelaxer. I tend to identify as asexual/heterosexual, myself. I don't mind people from the opposite sex, but I don't really feel all that attracted to them. But, it doesn't mean I wouldn't love someone if I did fall in love with them though. What counts, like you said, is to love and be loved. That's what matters. That you care for some one and they care for you back.


----------



## GameLaxer

Mephisto Pheles said:


> I think you're talking about sex here and not gender lol. Gender wise, the only thing that separates one identity from another is how they identify.



Ah, yes, I was. Sorry for the confusion! xD

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also...question: I'm under 21, and I just broke up with my first girlfriend of a year. I'm still really upset about it, but just for future reference, I guess, where could I meet other girls to date? XD I don't really know any...

- - - Post Merge - - -



PurplPanda said:


> A lot of my friends jokingly call me gay, all in the name of fun. I mean, I'm not really sure yet, but I wouldn't like to be labeled in a way that isn't true. I just wish they were more supportive of my personality and stuff.



I'm sorry  I mean, a personality type or behavior, etc. does not define sexual, gender, etc. identity, and yes, there are some stereotypes that exist, but a lot of people are completely blinded by them, unfortunately.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Box9Missingo said:


> Very good point, Gamelaxer. I tend to identify as asexual/heterosexual, myself. I don't mind people from the opposite sex, but I don't really feel all that attracted to them. But, it doesn't mean I wouldn't love someone if I did fall in love with them though. What counts, like you said, is to love and be loved. That's what matters. That you care for some one and they care for you back.



Exactly  I mean...I personally think that finding love, both platonic and romantic, can be part of the purpose of life...people always question our purposes as beings on this planet...I think that love is definitely a part of that. Some people would rather not be with someone, though, so I can't say that it's a universal desire, you know?


----------



## katsuragi

i currently identify as panromantic homosexual because i'm percieved as a female, although i identify as agender. i guess that's understandable, i dress and look femme plus i'm dfab, so i don't hate being referred to as a girl, because i understand that some people don't realise there are more than two genders, even though they should. anyway, i think panromantic homosexual is right for me?? i'm romantically attracted to anyone regardless of gender (panromantic) but sexually i'm only attracted to people who identify as female, and seeing as i'm a femme agender, that would make me homosexual???? idk i realise i don't need a label or whatever but for my own comfort and wellbeing i really need something so that i know who i am. i don't even know what i'm trying to get across in this but yeah


----------



## Box9Missingo

GameLaxer said:


> Ah, yes, I was. Sorry for the confusion! xD
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also...question: I'm under 21, and I just broke up with my first girlfriend of a year. I'm still really upset about it, but just for future reference, I guess, where could I meet other girls to date? XD I don't really know any...
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I'm sorry  I mean, a personality type or behavior, etc. does not define sexual, gender, etc. identity, and yes, there are some stereotypes that exist, but a lot of people are completely blinded by them, unfortunately.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> *Exactly  I mean...I personally think that finding love, both platonic and romantic, can be part of the purpose of life...people always question our purposes as beings on this planet...I think that love is definitely a part of that. Some people would rather not be with someone, though, so I can't say that it's a universal desire, you know?*



Definitely. Having someone to spend your life with, regardless, is what counts (at least to a point). Yep. I'm not quite that way myself, but I just don't have a real interest romantically (meaning kids and the like).


----------



## radical6

I'm fine with being called queer myself, and most people I know are too, but yeah I just avoid calling the whole community that.




katsuragi said:


> i currently identify as panromantic homosexual because i'm percieved as a female, although i identify as agender. i guess that's understandable, i dress and look femme plus i'm dfab, so i don't hate being referred to as a girl, because i understand that some people don't realise there are more than two genders, even though they should. anyway, i think panromantic homosexual is right for me?? i'm romantically attracted to anyone regardless of gender (panromantic) but sexually i'm only attracted to people who identify as female, and seeing as i'm a femme agender, that would make me homosexual???? idk i realise i don't need a label or whatever but for my own comfort and wellbeing i really need something so that i know who i am. i don't even know what i'm trying to get across in this but yeah



I'm kinda femme? I'm also DFAB and agender. People never use they/them pronouns for me, even on here. (Mostly happens in mafia but eh they can't go back to edit anyway) I try to aim for a more gender neutral look though. As for sexuality I'm probably pansexual with a leaning preference for feminine people. Masculine people are fine too I guess but meh.


----------



## baller

tsundere said:


> I'm fine with being called queer myself, and most people I know are too, but yeah I just avoid calling the whole community that.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm kinda femme? I'm also DFAB and agender. People never use they/them pronouns for me, even on here. (Mostly happens in mafia but eh they can't go back to edit anyway) I try to aim for a more gender neutral look though. As for sexuality I'm probably pansexual with a leaning preference for feminine people. Masculine people are fine too I guess but meh.


do u just like to use fancy words?


----------



## radical6

baller said:


> do u just like to use fancy words?


Not really, I rarely use fancy words in everyday conversation.


----------



## Alyx

I'm a panromantic selective asexual. It took a while for me to find out what my sexual orientation actually was because I knew I was attracted to both men and women and actually gender didn't matter to me, I just fell in love with people based on their personality and as far as the 'selective asexual' bit goes, I haven't exactly explored that part of me but I can't imagine myself having sex at all, and I have no sexual attraction to anyone. I don't feel the need to 'come out' to my family and I feel no pressure to do so, but I still feel nervous as far as my relationship goes because my boyfriend doesn't know I'm not heterosexual and I'm sort of nervous how he'd respond because in the past he and I had a political debate and things he was saying implied that he thought it was wrong to date the same sex. 

This might not be where it goes, but I have problems with my gender identity. I'm biologically a lady but I feel more masculine than anything and so I kind of switch every couple of days between female and male and it's something I haven't really been able to control and on the days where I feel like I'm not female it bothers me when that's the pronouns people use for me, but I don't correct them because they don't know about it and my mom makes it a point to tell me how 'pretty' I am on days where I'm using male pronouns. I'm out to her about all of this, and she's appeared homophobic so I was really nervous about telling her but she actually understood and she understood the gender identity thing, too, but she won't use male pronouns to refer to me when I identify as male, but then again I'm too nevous to tell her about my preferred pronouns because my parents might laugh at me. Most of my clothing items are unisex and I wear the overly feminine clothing when I identify as female. I'm not brave enough to tell people my preferred pronouns especially when they change so often.


----------



## Mayorofarcadia

Well. I identify as female ^^ 
And as for sexuality, I've only recently discovered how I feel.
I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and is aware of how I feel. 
I feel as if I am bisexual. But slightly more attracted to females. 
But it's confusing because I feel more demisexual/gray-a where I'm only sexually attracted to people I have strong feelings/bonds with.


----------



## GameLaxer

Mayorofarcadia said:


> Well. I identify as female ^^
> And as for sexuality, I've only recently discovered how I feel.
> I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and is aware of how I feel.
> I feel as if I am bisexual. But slightly more attracted to females.
> But it's confusing because I feel more demisexual/gray-a where I'm only sexually attracted to people I have strong feelings/bonds with.



The emotional bond is extremely important to me as well, so while I might not find certain people attractive in situations, if I have a really strong emotional bond with them, then I can find them attractive. I have often questioned that about myself, actually, because even though I identify as a lesbian, I have a very strong emotional bond with some guy friends. As a result, I have often thought about kissing them, or being somehow romantically involved with them, even though it's not really my sexual preference. However, I don't know if I could be in a sexual relationship with a guy...I've dated men before, but it just didn't feel the same way as it did with my first girlfriend. I don't know if that made any sense but... xD


----------



## Lady Timpani

GameLaxer said:


> The emotional bond is extremely important to me as well, so while I might not find certain people attractive in situations, if I have a really strong emotional bond with them, then I can find them attractive. I have often questioned that about myself, actually, because even though I identify as a lesbian, I have a very strong emotional bond with some guy friends. As a result, I have often thought about kissing them, or being somehow romantically involved with them, even though it's not really my sexual preference. However, I don't know if I could be in a sexual relationship with a guy...I've dated men before, but it just didn't feel the same way as it did with my first girlfriend. I don't know if that made any sense but... xD



I know how that feels. I've actually been questioning my sexuality a lot recently and have ultimately decided not to label myself until I figure it out.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

So. 'Pansexual' and 'bisexual'. 

Can you be one without being the other? I've always thought that 'bisexual' excluded any third/agender options, but I might be wrong. 

Point is, I consider myself bisexual and I really don't want to be flinging words around that might have nuances that I don't understand.


----------



## Bulbadragon

Revolver Ocelot said:


> So. 'Pansexual' and 'bisexual'.
> 
> Can you be one without being the other? I've always thought that 'bisexual' excluded any third/agender options, but I might be wrong.
> 
> Point is, I consider myself bisexual and I really don't want to be flinging words around that might have nuances that I don't understand.



Recently, I've seen a new definition of bisexual - the attraction to two or more genders. So, in a way, if you're pansexual, then you're also bizexual, but not the other way around. At least, that's how I see it.


----------



## katsuragi

Revolver Ocelot said:


> So. 'Pansexual' and 'bisexual'.
> 
> Can you be one without being the other? I've always thought that 'bisexual' excluded any third/agender options, but I might be wrong.
> 
> Point is, I consider myself bisexual and I really don't want to be flinging words around that might have nuances that I don't understand.



pansexual means you are attracted to someone *regardless* of their gender, whereas bisexual usually means you are attracted to people who identify as female (or who 'look' female) and people who identify as male (or who 'look' male).


----------



## radical6

Basically, pansexual means you're attracted to *all* genders. 
*Bi*sexual means you're attracted to *two* genders. You can be bisexual and attracted to boys and nonbinary people, girls and demiboys, etc. List goes on.


----------



## GameLaxer

Lady Timpani said:


> I know how that feels. I've actually been questioning my sexuality a lot recently and have ultimately decided not to label myself until I figure it out.



That's a good idea. Society is all about labels. You need to know for sure that you're this or that or want to have a career in this field or that field, etc. etc. But really, when it comes to personal success, happiness, love, and sexuality---all of those are individualized; they are on a spectrum for a specific individual and are never the same as the next person's perception of them. Sexuality especially has been very much...looked upon as being on one end of the spectrum or the other...like there is no grey area in between. Well, there is always grey area in everything because that's what life is about. The grey. Because when you're in the grey, there's the greatest potential! There's flexibility, imagination, creativity, etc. etc. in all different aspects. However, that can work for some people and not for others. Some people need to know where they fall, or they feel like they have found a place elsewhere. But, I just want to tell you that the grey isn't limbo. Think of it as a place where you can explore and really find yourself and happiness ^_^


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Honestly. I'm just going to say it. I've been attracted to men and women since I can remember- like, since I was a kid, but I know absolutely nothing about LGBTQA...anything. Sexuality is so great and complex, but I can honestly say that I've been sort of- uh. Uneducated, in a sense. 

So that's why I ask dumb questions.   




tsundere said:


> Basically, pansexual means you're attracted to *all* genders.
> *Bi*sexual means you're attracted to *two* genders. You can be bisexual and attracted to boys and nonbinary people, girls and demiboys, etc. List goes on.



This makes sense, finally. c: TY!


----------



## GameLaxer

Revolver Ocelot said:


> Honestly. I'm just going to say it. I've been attracted to men and women since I can remember- like, since I was a kid, but I know absolutely nothing about LGBTQA...anything. Sexuality is so great and complex, but I can honestly say that I've been sort of- uh. Uneducated, in a sense.
> 
> So that's why I ask dumb questions.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This makes sense, finally. c: TY!



It's not a dumb question. It's really cool that you're willing to ask the question as it is and being open to the information  I'm really happy it helped you, too. 

I used to be really confused and not know if what I felt was normal etc. and so it's just really nice to see an LGBTQIA community, even online, helping each other...idk it just makes me feel less alone also. So, I appreciate your asking the question--Thank you 

- - - Post Merge - - -

I had a situation that I wanted to discuss with you guys, actually.

So I identify as a lesbian. However, in the past I've kissed and dated a lot of guys. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of about a year. Being with her and kissing her was unlike any of the other dating experiences in my past. It was like something suddenly clicked. Now, however, I'm really confused because I have this really close guy friend who I'm attracted to and would probably want to kiss, but...it would probably be an issue for me below the belt, if you know what I mean...I'm not really sure what to make of this, because I do have feelings for him--he's sweet and really cute...but he's just not in a girl's body, which I don't mind ENTIRELY (he is a strapping young lad lol), but it does make a difference for me...and honestly, I can't recall the last time I was as attracted to a guy as I am attracted to him...I suppose sexuality is on a spectrum and you can fall in love with a person regardless of gender/sex/whatever...but it's still confusing, so any advice would help. Thanks so much!


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

GameLaxer said:


> It's not a dumb question. It's really cool that you're willing to ask the question as it is and being open to the information  I'm really happy it helped you, too.
> 
> I used to be really confused and not know if what I felt was normal etc. and so it's just really nice to see an LGBTQIA community, even online, helping each other...idk it just makes me feel less alone also. So, I appreciate your asking the question--Thank you
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> I had a situation that I wanted to discuss with you guys, actually.
> 
> So I identify as a lesbian. However, in the past I've kissed and dated a lot of guys. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of about a year. Being with her and kissing her was unlike any of the other dating experiences in my past. It was like something suddenly clicked. Now, however, I'm really confused because I have this really close guy friend who I'm attracted to and would probably want to kiss, but...it would probably be an issue for me below the belt, if you know what I mean...I'm not really sure what to make of this, because I do have feelings for him--he's sweet and really cute...but he's just not in a girl's body, which I don't mind ENTIRELY (he is a strapping young lad lol), but it does make a difference for me...and honestly, I can't recall the last time I was as attracted to a guy as I am attracted to him...I suppose sexuality is on a spectrum and you can fall in love with a person regardless of gender/sex/whatever...but it's still confusing, so any advice would help. Thanks so much!



You might run into some trouble if you were dating a guy while identifying as lesbian.. Some people may call you a fake.

But the biggest potential issue is how the _guy_ would feel about it.. He may not be comfortable with it.
After all, "lesbian" implies that you're attracted to women, and _only_ women - which may make him question why you're with him, and he may become paranoid that you'll leave him for a woman as soon as some hot gal comes along. (or that you'll get back with your ex if it ever becomes an option. You don't exactly sound like you've gotten over her yet)


Another possible issue is sex - and I mean that in both forms of the word.
You sound pretty iffy about the male sex, which could be a problem because you may not be able to have a very strong, physical connection to him. Which may not bother _you_ - but it might be important to _him_.


But, if you really like him that much, and can see yourself being happy in a long term relationship with him, then it's worth a shot, eh?


----------



## GameLaxer

Mephisto Pheles said:


> You might run into some trouble if you were dating a guy while identifying as lesbian.. Some people may call you a fake.
> 
> But the biggest potential issue is how the _guy_ would feel about it.. He may not be comfortable with it.
> After all, "lesbian" implies that you're attracted to women, and _only_ women - which may make him question why you're with him, and he may become paranoid that you'll leave him for a woman as soon as some hot gal comes along. (or that you'll get back with your ex if it ever becomes an option. You don't exactly sound like you've gotten over her yet)
> 
> 
> Another possible issue is sex - and I mean that in both forms of the word.
> You sound pretty iffy about the male sex, which could be a problem because you may not be able to have a very strong, physical connection to him. Which may not bother _you_ - but it might be important to _him_.
> 
> 
> But, if you really like him that much, and can see yourself being happy in a long term relationship with him, then it's worth a shot, eh?




I mean, he believes that sexuality is a spectrum and isn't bothered with how I identify...but I don't think it would necessarily be fair to him to lead him on since I probably wouldn't be happy long term with a guy in the physical sense... Thanks for the advice


----------



## rockthemike13

I'm popping in here just to ask a quick question, and it's a tough question, but I mean it with sincerity as there are a lot of people, here specifically, who identify with this.  It may have been discussed here all ready, but 172 pages is way too much for me to search through 

I am not for, and certainly not against LGBT, it's a mostly neutral issue to me, not having known any body who so strongly identifies with this scene.  I've known homosexuals, but none who announce loudly about being a homosexual.

And that leads me to my question, and I apologize if this comes off as offensive to any one, but I really want to know why people try so hard to use their sexuality as a means to define them?  If any one is homosexual, bisexual, transgendered or whatever, why do they feel the need to use this as a measure to gauge who they are?

I remember a few years ago Rex Ryan, the football coach, was caught adoring his wife's feet, or something to that extent.  He obviously had a foot fetish, and it was a bit of an embarrassment to him.  I don't believe he felt shame in having a foot fetish, but rather people were invading what should have been personal to him and his wife.

So why is it that particularly in the LGBT scene that sexuality is used as a way to define who people are?  I know there are BDSM movements, but I've never seen on the media, read about or heard any one talk about it.  It seems to be a culture kept hidden in the bedrooms, and not something as a way to strongly pronounce who people are.  The same applies to never hearing hetero's talking about how hetero they are.  I also never hear about pedophiles talking about how their pedophilia defines who they are, etc etc etc.  ONLY the LGBT scene, and a lot of it MAY be media fueled, but seeing the popularity of this topic on the website does spark my curiosity.  

LGBT isn't a new thing, it's been around since, as far as I know, recorded history.  It's strange to see a surging of people who identify with their sexual practices SO strongly, that they use it to define who they are.  I don't think in the long run people want to hear about what people's sexual preferences are.  Is it no longer a private matter?  Am I just out of the loop here?  

I apologize again if this came off as offensive, as none of it was intended to be, I just have never asked any one about this.


----------



## Titi

@rockthemike13:

Eh, I get what you mean. 
I think the issue with LGBT+ is that most people still assume that you're straight unless you mention otherwise, which can lead to awkward situations. Personally I don't scream that I'm bi on rooftops but I do like to make sure that the people around me know it. For the sake of being clear... If people didn't have assumptions maybe I wouldn't feel the need to say I'm bi, but the variety in sexuality/gender identity isn't "common sense" to most people yet.

I don't really get what you mean when you say it defines a person though... I don't feel like my sexuality DEFINES me, but it's part of me.


----------



## rockthemike13

Titi said:


> @rockthemike13:
> 
> Eh, I get what you mean.
> I think the issue with LGBT+ is that most people still assume that you're straight unless you mention otherwise, which can lead to awkward situations. Personally I don't scream that I'm bi on rooftops but I do like to make sure that the people around me know it. For the sake of being clear... If people didn't have assumptions maybe I wouldn't feel the need to say I'm bi, but the variety in sexuality/gender identity isn't "common sense" to most people yet.
> 
> I don't really get what you mean when you say it defines a person though... I don't feel like my sexuality DEFINES me, but it's part of me.



I see what you're saying in that most people would assume you're straight, but I guess what I'm aiming at here is why does it matter?  I mean, say Rex Ryan has a foot fetish, he doesn't tell every one he knows- hey man, just so you know, I have a foot fetish.

A guy I worked for, I worked for him for months before in conversation he mentioned in passing he had a boyfriend.  I didn't care, but he certainly didn't make it a point to say- hey, you're gonna work for me, I need you to know I'm homosexual.

I think most people know every body has differences in their sexual orientations.  I just don't think people want to talk about it so casually in passing.  I won't discuss bedroom talk with any body I don't know well enough.  

And when I say defines a person, I feel theres a strong stereotype that may simply be a stereotype.  IE people talking with lisps, enjoying theater, watching Glee, etc etc, simply because it's what homosexual people DO.  I've seen bits and pieces of the LGBT parade, and it's hard for me to not think this is something people use to expressively define who they are.  Almost an- in your face I'm LGBT get over it type deal.

And I guess sort of like this thread, I'm not sure why people feel the need to conjure and go- YES I AM LGBT!  I certainly don't feel the need to express my sexual orientations.


----------



## Titi

Why does it matter? Hum, well, maybe because if no one around you knows they'll most probably flip their **** if they find out any other way. And also because not telling anyone is called being the closet, and that's unhealthy. As long as LGBT+ isn't considered by most of society just as normal as being straight it's something people need to get out there. I'm not saying rub it in people's faces, but I believe it's important to let your friends and relatives know. Also because it's a part of you you want accepted by those who matter to you.

I'm sorry but you can't compare letting people know about your sexuality to letting people know you have a foot fetish...
And discussing sexuality isn't bedroom talk either.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

rockthemike13 said:


> I see what you're saying in that most people would assume you're straight, but I guess what I'm aiming at here is *why does it matter?*  I mean, say Rex Ryan has a foot fetish, he doesn't tell every one he knows- hey man, just so you know, I have a foot fetish.
> 
> A guy I worked for, I worked for him for months before in conversation he mentioned in passing he had a boyfriend.  I didn't care, but he certainly didn't make it a point to say- hey, you're gonna work for me, I need you to know I'm homosexual.
> 
> I think most people know every body has differences in their sexual orientations.  I just don't think people want to talk about it so casually in passing.  I won't discuss bedroom talk with any body I don't know well enough.
> 
> And when I say defines a person, I feel theres a strong stereotype that may simply be a stereotype.  IE people talking with lisps, enjoying theater, watching Glee, etc etc, simply because it's what homosexual people DO.  I've seen bits and pieces of the LGBT parade, and it's hard for me to not think this is something people use to expressively define who they are.  Almost an- in your face I'm LGBT get over it type deal.
> 
> And I guess sort of like this thread, I'm not sure why people feel the need to conjure and go- YES I AM LGBT!  I certainly don't feel the need to express my sexual orientations.



It matters to LGBT+ people because it still "matters" to a lot of anti-LGBT+ people. Homophobia and transphobia are still big issues - it just _seems_ less common because, unlike in the past, you can actually get in trouble for saying homophobic/transphobic things.

As for the stereotype thing... I think those type of gay people appear to be "louder" about it, simply because they're the ones who receive the brunt of homophobia. I can't tell you how many times I've heard things like "I'm cool with the gays so long as they're not like, really flamboyant", "gay guys are okay, but I hate flamers", etc. Hell, they get that kinda crap from _within the LGBT community itself_.
Ever heard a gay man call himself "straight acting"? These guys put masculinity on a pedestal, and _loathe_ feminine gay men with a passion.


----------



## GameLaxer

rockthemike13 said:


> I'm popping in here just to ask a quick question, and it's a tough question, but I mean it with sincerity as there are a lot of people, here specifically, who identify with this.  It may have been discussed here all ready, but 172 pages is way too much for me to search through
> 
> I am not for, and certainly not against LGBT, it's a mostly neutral issue to me, not having known any body who so strongly identifies with this scene.  I've known homosexuals, but none who announce loudly about being a homosexual.
> 
> And that leads me to my question, and I apologize if this comes off as offensive to any one, but I really want to know why people try so hard to use their sexuality as a means to define them?  If any one is homosexual, bisexual, transgendered or whatever, why do they feel the need to use this as a measure to gauge who they are?
> 
> I remember a few years ago Rex Ryan, the football coach, was caught adoring his wife's feet, or something to that extent.  He obviously had a foot fetish, and it was a bit of an embarrassment to him.  I don't believe he felt shame in having a foot fetish, but rather people were invading what should have been personal to him and his wife.
> 
> So why is it that particularly in the LGBT scene that sexuality is used as a way to define who people are?  I know there are BDSM movements, but I've never seen on the media, read about or heard any one talk about it.  It seems to be a culture kept hidden in the bedrooms, and not something as a way to strongly pronounce who people are.  The same applies to never hearing hetero's talking about how hetero they are.  I also never hear about pedophiles talking about how their pedophilia defines who they are, etc etc etc.  ONLY the LGBT scene, and a lot of it MAY be media fueled, but seeing the popularity of this topic on the website does spark my curiosity.
> 
> LGBT isn't a new thing, it's been around since, as far as I know, recorded history.  It's strange to see a surging of people who identify with their sexual practices SO strongly, that they use it to define who they are.  I don't think in the long run people want to hear about what people's sexual preferences are.  Is it no longer a private matter?  Am I just out of the loop here?
> 
> I apologize again if this came off as offensive, as none of it was intended to be, I just have never asked any one about this.



For starters, I do want to acknowledge that I appreciate your asking the question in a respectful manner. However, I do want to explain, that sexual orientation does not define a person, as people are multifaceted. Sexual orientation affects what goes on in the bedroom, yes, but it also can have an effect on social life, behavior, etc. as well, which may be why you thing that it defines a person. For example, if a person within the LGBT+ community feels more comfortable associating with others within that same community, that is just a matter of friend-choice and a feeling of belonging (don't you get along better with people you feel comfortable around and share common interests?) and, as for behavior or appearance, a lot of LGBT+ people have been ashamed of themselves or not been able to fully express themselves because of societal norms. As a result, what the majority of society may see as "in your face" actions or appearances are actually just people trying to express who they are and are hoping not to be judged. 

There wis also the issue of homophobia. If the people in the LGBT+ community were to be entirely complacent, then positive changes in opinion (law, etc.) regarding the community would never happen. Some people in the LGBT+ community are just more subtle about their sexual orientation, not because it isn't a part of them, but because they feel as if it shouldn't matter or they are afraid of judgement; the assumption is that someone is straight, and until being LGBT+ is considered on par with heterosexuality, then the sexual orientation in the LGBT+ community will always seem more..."in your face."


----------



## rockthemike13

Titi said:


> Why does it matter? Hum, well, maybe because if no one around you knows they'll most probably flip their **** if they find out any other way. And also because not telling anyone is called being the closet, and that's unhealthy. As long as LGBT+ isn't considered by most of society just as normal as being straight it's something people need to get out there. I'm not saying rub it in people's faces, but I believe it's important to let your friends and relatives know. Also because it's a part of you you want accepted by those who matter to you.
> 
> I'm sorry but you can't compare letting people know about your sexuality to letting people know you have a foot fetish...
> And discussing sexuality isn't bedroom talk either.



Yeah, comparing sexual orientation to fetishes is a stretch.  But I do feel it's the same playing field.  Whats the difference between saying- I am turned on by feet as opposed to- I am turned on by people of my gender?

I think it's one thing to say- I am in love with a man.
And another to say- I prefer men sexually.  
I kind of consider that bedroom talk, it's in regards to what turns you on sexually.

Does that make any more sense?


----------



## katsuragi

rockthemike13 said:


> I'm popping in here just to ask a quick question, and it's a tough question, but I mean it with sincerity as there are a lot of people, here specifically, who identify with this.  It may have been discussed here all ready, but 172 pages is way too much for me to search through
> 
> I am not for, and certainly not against LGBT, it's a mostly neutral issue to me, not having known any body who so strongly identifies with this scene.  I've known homosexuals, but none who announce loudly about being a homosexual.
> 
> And that leads me to my question, and I apologize if this comes off as offensive to any one, but I really want to know why people try so hard to use their sexuality as a means to define them?  If any one is homosexual, bisexual, transgendered or whatever, why do they feel the need to use this as a measure to gauge who they are?
> 
> I remember a few years ago Rex Ryan, the football coach, was caught adoring his wife's feet, or something to that extent.  He obviously had a foot fetish, and it was a bit of an embarrassment to him.  I don't believe he felt shame in having a foot fetish, but rather people were invading what should have been personal to him and his wife.
> 
> So why is it that particularly in the LGBT scene that sexuality is used as a way to define who people are?  I know there are BDSM movements, but I've never seen on the media, read about or heard any one talk about it.  It seems to be a culture kept hidden in the bedrooms, and not something as a way to strongly pronounce who people are.  The same applies to never hearing hetero's talking about how hetero they are.  I also never hear about pedophiles talking about how their pedophilia defines who they are, etc etc etc.  ONLY the LGBT scene, and a lot of it MAY be media fueled, but seeing the popularity of this topic on the website does spark my curiosity.
> 
> LGBT isn't a new thing, it's been around since, as far as I know, recorded history.  It's strange to see a surging of people who identify with their sexual practices SO strongly, that they use it to define who they are.  I don't think in the long run people want to hear about what people's sexual preferences are.  Is it no longer a private matter?  Am I just out of the loop here?
> 
> I apologize again if this came off as offensive, as none of it was intended to be, I just have never asked any one about this.



well first of all, foot fetishes and sexuality are not comparable and it's quite offensive to suggest that someone's sexuality is equal to a fetish (i realise that isn't what you actually said but it very heavily implied). obviously you are straight and i'm going to go ahead and assume that you're cisgender too. with those two massive privelages, you can freely use the internet to tell people you're straight, and you can freely tell people in real life too.

a vast majority of the LGBTQA+ communtity only have the oppurtunity to publicise their sexuality on the internet, because we can put up different identites and a whole lot of other things that will make us feel safe. how often do you hear people in real life tell others that they are have a sexuality that's not straight? you answered that yourself, rarely (correct me if i'm wrong). real life can be an unsafe environment because you can't change what you said, you can't pretend to be someone else.

people announce their sexuality online often because it is safe and believe it or not, LGBTQA+ folk are also people, and how would you feel if you had to keep a massive part of your identity hidden away?


----------



## GameLaxer

katsuragi said:


> well first of all, foot fetishes and sexuality are not comparable and it's quite offensive to suggest that someone's sexuality is equal to a fetish (i realise that isn't what you actually said but it very heavily implied). obviously you are straight and i'm going to go ahead and assume that you're cisgender too. with those two massive privelages, you can freely use the internet to tell people you're straight, and you can freely tell people in real life too.
> 
> a vast majority of the LGBTQA+ communtity only have the oppurtunity to publicise their sexuality on the internet, because we can put up different identites and a whole lot of other things that will make us feel safe. how often do you hear people in real life tell others that they are have a sexuality that's not straight? you answered that yourself, rarely (correct me if i'm wrong). real life can be an unsafe environment because you can't change what you said, you can't pretend to be someone else.
> 
> people announce their sexuality online often because it is safe and believe it or not, LGBTQA+ folk are also people, and how would you feel if you had to keep a massive part of your identity hidden away? please have some respect.



I agree with the majority of your post, and how the internet is an outlet for LGBTQA+ people to express themselves freely, however, in certain regards, fetishes are a part of peoples' sexual preferences, and may be ingrained in them, just like gender or sex preference is. Obviously I think that sexual orientation and fetishes are different, but what's to say that both of them can't be a part of someone's identity?


----------



## rockthemike13

katsuragi said:


> well first of all, foot fetishes and sexuality are not comparable and it's quite offensive to suggest that someone's sexuality is equal to a fetish (i realise that isn't what you actually said but it very heavily implied). obviously you are straight and i'm going to go ahead and assume that you're cisgender too. with those two massive privelages, you can freely use the internet to tell people you're straight, and you can freely tell people in real life too.
> 
> a vast majority of the LGBTQA+ communtity only have the oppurtunity to publicise their sexuality on the internet, because we can put up different identites and a whole lot of other things that will make us feel safe. how often do you hear people in real life tell others that they are have a sexuality that's not straight? you answered that yourself, rarely (correct me if i'm wrong). real life can be an unsafe environment because you can't change what you said, you can't pretend to be someone else.
> 
> people announce their sexuality online often because it is safe and believe it or not, LGBTQA+ folk are also people, and how would you feel if you had to keep a massive part of your identity hidden away? please have some respect.



Sorry if I've offended you, I was afraid people would be super touchy about what I was suggesting.

I would like to make it clear though, I don't consider it a privilege to be able to tell people I'm straight.  I /don't/ tell people I'm straight, because people don't ask.  I don't announce online that I'm straight, or cisgendered (I have NO idea what that means), or any thing.  I don't let my sexuality define me, which was my original question.

And you're right, it's not often you don't hear people say they aren't straight.  But there are a lot of not oftens that you hear from people, and they don't feel threatened by being in a minority.  
And I've never said any thing about any body not being people.  In fact, I was trying to say that no matter what the preference, every bodies a person.  I was more so wrapped up in why it matters in the first place, and why your sexual preference is used to identify who you are.

Yeesh, I wasn't disrespecting any body


----------



## katsuragi

GameLaxer said:


> I agree with the majority of your post, and how the internet is an outlet for LGBTQA+ people to express themselves freely, however, in certain regards, fetishes are a part of peoples' sexual preferences, and may be ingrained in them, just like gender or sex preference is. Obviously I think that sexual orientation and fetishes are different, but what's to say that both of them can't be a part of someone's identity?



i must have worded that a bit misleadingly, they can definitely both be part of someone's identity! i just mean in regards to it being implied that sexuality is not a whole lot more than a fetish (for example; how lesbianism is constantly fetishised by cishet men). i hope that makes more sense, i'm terrible at justifying what i have to say.


----------



## GameLaxer

katsuragi said:


> i must have worded that a bit misleadingly, they can definitely both be part of someone's identity! i just mean in regards to it being implied that sexuality is not a whole lot more than a fetish (for example; how lesbianism is constantly fetishised by cishet men). i hope that makes more sense, i'm terrible at justifying what i have to say.



Ah ok, I understand now. Thanks for clarifying 

- - - Post Merge - - -



rockthemike13 said:


> Sorry if I've offended you, I was afraid people would be super touchy about what I was suggesting.
> 
> I would like to make it clear though, I don't consider it a privilege to be able to tell people I'm straight.  I /don't/ tell people I'm straight, because people don't ask.  I don't announce online that I'm straight, or cisgendered (I have NO idea what that means), or any thing.  I don't let my sexuality define me, which was my original question.
> 
> And you're right, it's not often you don't hear people say they aren't straight.  But there are a lot of not oftens that you hear from people, and they don't feel threatened by being in a minority.
> And I've never said any thing about any body not being people.  In fact, I was trying to say that no matter what the preference, every bodies a person.  I was more so wrapped up in why it matters in the first place, and why your sexual preference is used to identify who you are.
> 
> Yeesh, I wasn't disrespecting any body



Don't worry. Almost anything anyone says in this world is going to offend someone else. You're just asking because you're curious and knowledge is power in my opinion, so I really respect you for talking about this, even though it's putting yourself out there and at least trying to understand something that you don't. A lot of people just hate, fear, or disregard the things that they don't understand, but you're taking the actions and asking the questions (so yes, I applaud you). Cisgendered means someone who identifies with the gender that they are (e.g. a girl identifies with being a girl, but could be a lesbian aka a girl who likes girl). Non-cisgendered means that someone doesn't identify with the gender that they are biologically, but this isn't to be confused with being transgendered--transgendered means someone is changing genders or is in fact mentally one gender and physically another. For example, someone who is non-cis can be a girl who identifies as a boy, but still likes girls and considers herself a lesbian. There is some overlap with transgendered and non-cis, though. (I think these are the correct terms) acis-gendered/agendered is someone who does not identify with either gender; however, their sexual preference could be heterosexual, homosexual, asexual--you name it...gender identity and sexual orientation are very different things.


----------



## goodra

GameLaxer said:


> Non-cisgendered means that someone doesn't identify with the gender that they are biologically, but this isn't to be confused with being transgendered--transgendered means someone is changing genders or is in fact mentally one gender and physically another. For example, someone who is non-cis can be a girl who identifies as a boy, but still likes girls and considers herself a lesbian. There is some overlap with transgendered and non-cis, though. (I think these are the correct terms) acis-gendered/agendered is someone who does not identify with either gender; however, their sexual preference could be heterosexual, homosexual, asexual--you name it...gender identity and sexual orientation are very different things.



i think i might be misreading your comment but, cis = not trans(gender/sexual, both things), which would be the overlap i think you're talking about

i don't think acis is a term (or at least i haven't seen it used), so if i have this right that would just be agender, which falls under the trans label


----------



## GameLaxer

goodra said:


> i think i might be misreading your comment but, cis = not trans(gender/sexual, both things), which would be the overlap i think you're talking about
> 
> i don't think acis is a term (or at least i haven't seen it used), so if i have this right that would just be agender, which falls under the trans label



Right, cis = identifying with the gender you were biologically born as (e.g. not trans). and I think a-gendered is probably the term then...but trans falls under the non-cis label, not the other way around if I'm not mistaken...


----------



## goodra

GameLaxer said:


> but trans falls under the non-cis label, not the other way around if I'm not mistaken...



they're the same thing from what i've seen. i was referring to agender going under trans, not non-cis going under it


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

GameLaxer said:


> Ah ok, I understand now. Thanks for clarifying
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Don't worry. Almost anything anyone says in this world is going to offend someone else. You're just asking because you're curious and knowledge is power in my opinion, so I really respect you for talking about this, even though it's putting yourself out there and at least trying to understand something that you don't. A lot of people just hate, fear, or disregard the things that they don't understand, but you're taking the actions and asking the questions (so yes, I applaud you). Cisgendered means someone who identifies with the gender that they are (e.g. a girl identifies with being a girl, but could be a lesbian aka a girl who likes girl). Non-cisgendered means that someone doesn't identify with the gender that they are biologically, but this isn't to be confused with being transgendered--transgendered means someone is changing genders or is in fact mentally one gender and physically another. For example, someone who is non-cis can be a girl who identifies as a boy, but still likes girls and considers herself a lesbian. There is some overlap with transgendered and non-cis, though. (I think these are the correct terms) acis-gendered/agendered is someone who does not identify with either gender; however, their sexual preference could be heterosexual, homosexual, asexual--you name it...gender identity and sexual orientation are very different things.



To start; non-cis and trans are the same thing. However, trans is the proper term. Perhaps the word you were thinking of is _non-binary_?

Also, you shouldn't refer to someone as a "girl" if they identify as a "boy" (or vice versa). Instead, to indicate if someone was born _physically_ female, you can use DFAB or FAAB (Designated Female at Birth / Female Assigned at Birth). Or trans+(their gender identity).

For example: I'm a trans man. My birth sex is female. That makes me DFAB/FAAB. It does not, however, make me a "girl who identifies as a boy". Additionally, trans men cannot be lesbians; because they are _men_. Lesbians are women, who are attracted to other women.

Terminology becomes difficult, however, if someones gender identity is non-binary, such as agender, bigender, etc.


Truth is, sexual terms like "homosexual", "heterosexual" and even "bisexual" were likely invented by cis people - without non-binary trans individuals in mind. So some may choose to use the label that reflects their sex, rather than their gender identity. (Example: a DFAB agender person identifying as "lesbian")


----------



## GameLaxer

Mephisto Pheles said:


> To start; non-cis and trans are the same thing. However, trans is the proper term. Perhaps the word you were thinking of is _non-binary_?
> 
> Also, you shouldn't refer to someone as a "girl" if they identify as a "boy" (or vice versa). Instead, to indicate if someone was born _physically_ female, you can use DFAB or FAAB (Designated Female at Birth / Female Assigned at Birth). Or trans+(their gender identity).
> 
> For example: I'm a trans man. My birth sex is female. That makes me DFAB/FAAB. It does not, however, make me a "girl who identifies as a boy". Additionally, trans men cannot be lesbians; because they are _men_. Lesbians are women, who are attracted to other women.
> 
> Terminology becomes difficult, however, if someones gender identity is non-binary, such as agender, bigender, etc.
> 
> 
> Truth is, sexual terms like "homosexual", "heterosexual" and even "bisexual" were likely invented by cis people - without non-binary trans individuals in mind. So some may choose to use the label that reflects their sex, rather than their gender identity. (Example: a DFAB agender person identifying as "lesbian")



Ah, ok. Yes, that was what I meant to say...I just got a bit confused XD I went to a group about this (sexual vs. gender identity) in college, but i guess I got a little mixed up...I'm sorry for not using correct terminology...I would usually, but I was attempting to explain to him...sorry about that--thank you for the more accurate explanation ^_^ I learned something new, too! heh


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

GameLaxer said:


> Ah, ok. Yes, that was what I meant to say...I just got a bit confused XD I went to a group about this (sexual vs. gender identity) in college, but i guess I got a little mixed up...I'm sorry for not using correct terminology...I would usually, but I was attempting to explain to him...sorry about that--thank you for the more accurate explanation ^_^ I learned something new, too! heh



No problem.  Even as a trans man, it took me awhile to learn all these terms, too. I mean, it's not like all trans people are born with this knowledge hahaha. (I'm sure there's plenty I still don't know, too)


----------



## GameLaxer

Mephisto Pheles said:


> No problem.  Even as a trans man, it took me awhile to learn all these terms, too. I mean, it's not like all trans people are born with this knowledge hahaha. (I'm sure there's plenty I still don't know, too)



Heh, yea. Thanks ^_^


----------



## radical6

Mephisto Pheles said:


> To start; non-cis and trans are the same thing. However, trans is the proper term. Perhaps the word you were thinking of is _non-binary_?
> 
> Also, you shouldn't refer to someone as a "girl" if they identify as a "boy" (or vice versa). Instead, to indicate if someone was born _physically_ female, you can use DFAB or FAAB (Designated Female at Birth / Female Assigned at Birth). Or trans+(their gender identity).
> 
> For example: I'm a trans man. My birth sex is female. That makes me DFAB/FAAB. It does not, however, make me a "girl who identifies as a boy". Additionally, trans men cannot be lesbians; because they are _men_. Lesbians are women, who are attracted to other women.
> 
> Terminology becomes difficult, however, if someones gender identity is non-binary, such as agender, bigender, etc.
> 
> 
> Truth is, sexual terms like "homosexual", "heterosexual" and even "bisexual" were likely invented by cis people - without non-binary trans individuals in mind. So some may choose to use the label that reflects their sex, rather than their gender identity. (Example: a DFAB agender person identifying as "lesbian")



Sexualities can easily be changed to accept NB genders.
Homosexual can be attracted to the same gender, instead of "men who like men". Bisexual can mean attracted to two genders (so it's possible to like agender people and girls for example) without implying there's only two genders. As for straight, uh idk. I hear "another gender" used for heterosexuality. 

But yes, you don't refer to people as their assigned gender. That's very rude, use their identity. Like Phelps said it's best to use terms such as DFAB/AFAB/CAFAB (which all mean the same thing - assigned female at birth. AFAB is assigned female at birth, and CAFAB is coercively  assigned female at birth).

I avoid saying someone's sex is ____. I don't think that's the same as calling someone DFAB. It's a touchy area, just don't go snooping around in people's assigned genders I guess. I'm pretty sure people would be offended if you said their biological sex was ____. Like if you told a trans woman that she's not really a woman since her biological sex is male, then you can bet that she would be really upset. Just don't tell people that or refer to their "biological" sex. That is rude and reminds them daily that they will never be cis.


----------



## GameLaxer

tsundere said:


> Sexualities can easily be changed to accept NB genders.
> Homosexual can be attracted to the same gender, instead of "men who like men". Bisexual can mean attracted to two genders (so it's possible to like agender people and girls for example) without implying there's only two genders. As for straight, uh idk. I hear "another gender" used for heterosexuality.
> 
> But yes, you don't refer to people as their assigned gender. That's very rude, use their identity. Like Phelps said it's best to use terms such as DFAB/AFAB/CAFAB (which all mean the same thing - assigned female at birth. AFAB is assigned female at birth, and CAFAB is coercively  assigned female at birth).
> 
> I avoid saying someone's sex is ____. I don't think that's the same as calling someone DFAB. It's a touchy area, just don't go snooping around in people's assigned genders I guess. I'm pretty sure people would be offended if you said their biological sex was ____. Like if you told a trans woman that she's not really a woman since her biological sex is male, then you can bet that she would be really upset. Just don't tell people that or refer to their "biological" sex. That is rude and reminds them daily that they will never be cis.



Meep. I'm sorry if I offended anyone--I was just trying to explain things, but wasn't very good at it :/ Thanks for taking the reins, though.


----------



## radical6

GameLaxer said:


> Meep. I'm sorry if I offended anyone--I was just trying to explain things, but wasn't very good at it :/ Thanks for taking the reins, though.



It's fine, people make mistakes. I'm sure it wasn't your intention anyway.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

tsundere said:


> Sexualities can easily be changed to accept NB genders.
> Homosexual can be attracted to the same gender, instead of "men who like men". Bisexual can mean attracted to two genders (so it's possible to like agender people and girls for example) without implying there's only two genders. As for straight, uh idk. I hear "another gender" used for heterosexuality.
> 
> But yes, you don't refer to people as their assigned gender. That's very rude, use their identity. Like Phelps said it's best to use terms such as DFAB/AFAB/CAFAB (which all mean the same thing - assigned female at birth. AFAB is assigned female at birth, and CAFAB is coercively  assigned female at birth).
> 
> I avoid saying someone's sex is ____. I don't think that's the same as calling someone DFAB. It's a touchy area, just don't go snooping around in people's assigned genders I guess. I'm pretty sure people would be offended if you said their biological sex was ____. Like if you told a trans woman that she's not really a woman since her biological sex is male, then you can bet that she would be really upset. Just don't tell people that or refer to their "biological" sex. That is rude and reminds them daily that they will never be cis.



Ah, yeah, you're right.. Homo can simply mean "same", bi as "two" and hetero as "other". I suppose I didn't consider that because the word "lesbian" threw me off - which seems to be exclusive to women who are attracted to women.

And you have a point.. I knew that terms like DFAB are also used by people born intersex, but raised female - and thus is used to refer to gender rather than sex. Don't know why I forgot that when I wrote that reply.

I can see how pointing out someones sex can be triggering, too, so I don't personally bring up another persons birth sex - only my own if I feel comfortable and it's relevant to the topic being discussed.

- - - Post Merge - - -

But see there, Laxer? I told you being trans doesn't make me incapable of being wrong on trans terms.  There's your proof haha


----------



## GameLaxer

tsundere said:


> It's fine, people make mistakes. I'm sure it wasn't your intention anyway.



Thanks. And no, not at all my intent. In fact, I learned something new tonight, so thank you 

- - - Post Merge - - -



Mephisto Pheles said:


> Ah, yeah, you're right.. Homo can simply mean "same", bi as "two" and hetero as "other". I suppose I didn't consider that because the word "lesbian" threw me off - which seems to be exclusive to women who are attracted to women.
> 
> And you have a point.. I knew that terms like DFAB are also used by people born intersex, but raised female - and thus is used to refer to gender rather than sex. Don't know why I forgot that when I wrote that reply.
> 
> I can see how pointing out someones sex can be triggering, too, so I don't personally bring up another persons birth sex - only my own if I feel comfortable and it's relevant to the topic being discussed.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> But see there, Laxer? I told you being trans doesn't make me incapable of being wrong on trans terms.  There's your proof haha



Well, thank you--you helped educate me tonight ^_^ I appreciate it!


----------



## ThomasNLD

It amazes me what a big subject this is for so many people. I get the whole "I want to be accepted for who I am" vibe, don`t get me wrong, but in the end, isn`t it just a personal thing? Thats probably my biggest frown on homphobia and crap like that, what on earth are people putting their nose in? Its none of their business! What do they care?

I personally don`t care much for all the different names floating around in this thread. In the end only one thing matters, if you find someone you love, whether different or same sex, good for you. I understand that in many societies certain relationships are frowned upon and that being a truly problematic situation and I agree on that ofcourse. Personal freedom is vital, just like showing others respect and acceptance.


----------



## GameLaxer

ThomasNLD said:


> It amazes me what a big subject this is for so many people. I get the whole "I want to be accepted for who I am" vibe, don`t get me wrong, but in the end, isn`t it just a personal thing? Thats probably my biggest frown on homphobia and crap like that, what on earth are people putting their nose in? Its none of their business! What do they care?
> 
> I personally don`t care much for all the different names floating around in this thread. In the end only one thing matters, if you find someone you love, whether different or same sex, good for you. I understand that in many societies certain relationships are frowned upon and that being a truly problematic situation and I agree on that ofcourse. Personal freedom is vital, just like showing others respect and acceptance.



Damn straight. Or...not straight, too. xD lol


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

There is a reason visibility is needed. Because LGBT+ is _*not*_ about telling people about the kind of sex you like to have. It's about equality.

Straight couples who are in love can get married. They can announce to the world their love and nobody tells them they're going to Hell for it. They can visit each other in the hospital when they are sick. They can hold hands in public without being in fear of judgmental stares or harassment. They face no limitations on adopting children. Cisgender people never have to worry about what restroom to use or face people who refuse to treat them as their gender. LGBT+ people can't do these things, not everywhere. And we'll never be accepted if we hide and don't let people know we're here.

Also, a much smaller percentage of the population is LGBT+ compared to straight. If we are single and lonely and longing for companionship, labelling ourselves and letting people know about it helps us improve our chances to find people we may be be romantically and/or sexually compatible with in our daily lives, rather than just asking anyone out and facing rejection (or worse, an extremely negative and homophobic reaction) much more often than not.


----------



## GameLaxer

Hana-Nezumi said:


> There is a reason visibility is needed. Because LGBT+ is _*not*_ about telling people about the kind of sex you like to have. It's about equality.
> 
> Straight couples who are in love can get married. They can announce to the world their love and nobody tells them they're going to Hell for it. They can visit each other in the hospital when they are sick. They can hold hands in public without being in fear of judgmental stares or harassment. They face no limitations on adopting children. Cisgender people never have to worry about what restroom to use or face people who refuse to treat them as their gender. LGBT+ people can't do these things, not everywhere. And we'll never be accepted if we hide and don't let people know we're here.
> 
> Also, a much smaller percentage of the population is LGBT+ compared to straight. If we are single and lonely and longing for companionship, labelling ourselves and letting people know about it helps us improve our chances to find people we may be be romantically and/or sexually compatible with in our daily lives, rather than just asking anyone out and facing rejection (or worse, an extremely negative and homophobic reaction) much more often than not.



A very valid point, and very eloquently expressed. I believe there is a middle ground between "over-labelling" and not labeling at all. Visibility is indeed important in order to get the rights that we deserve, but at the same time, with regards to any issue, pushing too hard may not get the desired results and could backfire. A gradual acceptance will occur in time as the LGBT+ community gradually is seen as merely another part of what many close-minded people consider "normal" society. There has been substantial progress for the LGBT+ community in the last few years, and even though there is a long ways to go before equality, we are slowly but surely obtaining said equality, at least legally. Hopefully we will be able to obtain it in the eyes of society as well...


----------



## Lio Fotia

Has anyone else here seen this? 

It's very powerful imo

It's a bit long but yeah

Puts the Masses in our shoes and kinda is moving for both parties​
- - - Post Merge - - -

I forgot in the end she's suicidal. Please don't watch if that triggers you. D:


----------



## Titi

Brrr that video made me shiver. DX
It is extreme... Thankfully not everyone has such extreme hatred for homosexuals, But powerful for sure.


----------



## Lio Fotia

It's a norm where I live so it really spoke to me.


----------



## Titi

Really? Man that's kinda sad... I feel I'm very lucky for living somewhere where it's mostly accepted...
Frowned upon and found weird at worse but it's not nearly as bad as this video.


----------



## Lio Fotia

Titi said:


> Really? Man that's kinda sad... I feel I'm very lucky for living somewhere where it's mostly accepted...
> Frowned upon and found weird at worse but it's not nearly as bad as this video.



When I came out my mother cried and my father quoted the bible a me. I was 21 years old and they still are in denial about it. I was kicked out of my church-- My mother sent me to a summer camp to 'correct' me when I was 16 because I was caught kissing a girl in the bathroom at school. I mean...

This really speaks to me hard core​


----------



## ThomasNLD

Hana-Nezumi said:


> There is a reason visibility is needed. Because LGBT+ is _*not*_ about telling people about the kind of sex you like to have. It's about equality.
> 
> Straight couples who are in love can get married. They can announce to the world their love and nobody tells them they're going to Hell for it. They can visit each other in the hospital when they are sick. They can hold hands in public without being in fear of judgmental stares or harassment. They face no limitations on adopting children. Cisgender people never have to worry about what restroom to use or face people who refuse to treat them as their gender. LGBT+ people can't do these things, not everywhere. And we'll never be accepted if we hide and don't let people know we're here.
> 
> Also, a much smaller percentage of the population is LGBT+ compared to straight. If we are single and lonely and longing for companionship, labelling ourselves and letting people know about it helps us improve our chances to find people we may be be romantically and/or sexually compatible with in our daily lives, rather than just asking anyone out and facing rejection (or worse, an extremely negative and homophobic reaction) much more often than not.



I do understand your story and I agree that if you live somewhere where its not accepted, it is important to educate people by standing up as a community for what you need and deserve. However, for me it is baffling, because where I live all the things you mention seem really only a marginal issue. 

Don't get me wrong, you still will find people who disagree with the gay lifestyle or could turn out abusive either physical or vocal. But its a very small part of the population. 

My comment wasn`t really aimed at the people who shout out the message, but more to those who receive it. Those are the people I don`t understand. I myself have been bullied for about 7 years for example. So I feel a deep need to speak out now, to help in any way I can people who have to deal with it now. What I don`t understand, is why people need me to speak out, without understanding the consequences of their actions by themselves. And when I say I don`t understand it, I probably am lying to myself. I do understand, I just don`t want to. Because the truth is more hurtfull then the denial of the fact that people are to selfabsorbed, uneducated, lacking in empathy and ability to place themselves in someone else, etc. Its just painful. 

Therefore the problem for me is not the message, but the fact that the message is needed. From a personal viewpoint, I don`t need the message, that was also hiding in my post. So when I read all this it tires me out. I recognize it to much maybe from the bullying. As someone who is speaking out, I suffer from exhaustion for constantly having to explain to people as a representative why it is so damaging for a person. Its not that I am not committed to spread the word, it is the emotional impact of the constant reminder people still don`t get it.

I`m a big believer in standing up for yourself and fighting for a just cause. I`ve seen documentaries about homosexuality in Russia and heard terrible stories about homosexuality in the middle east and Africa for example. But as GameLaxer said, the labelling does bother me. You see it everywhere, people have to be brought down to simple labels so we can categorize them for easy judgement. I`m not saying this thread builds that further up, but I am saying that by reading all this, I can`t help but feel that everybody here is so much more then this. For some reason that bothers me, I also have it in the mental illnesses thread btw. Thats probably a personal thing. I guess its confronting that a onedimensional label like your sexuality can have such a huge impact on your life, for example with adopting a child. The most loving people on the face of the earth can be denied the opportunity to raise a child. That just baffles me. But a lot of things baffle me. 

Maybe you didn`t aim your post directly at me, I don`t mean it as an offense or whatever, but I just had to write this anyways. 
I`m weird that way.  Guess thats one of my labels.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

The reason it is such a struggle to get some people to take the message is mostly because of religion. It is wrong to discriminate against people based on their sexuality, and religion is not an excuse, because it is also wrong to impose your religion on other people. But some people believe that can and should discriminate against and hate homosexuals because that's what they interpret their religious texts as saying. And you're right that is is different depending on where you live.


----------



## Lady Timpani

What do you guys think of political lesbianism (and any other political queerness, I suppose, but this is the only type I've seen so far)? I keep seeing it pop up and was wondering if any of you guys had, too.


----------



## GameLaxer

Lady Timpani said:


> What do you guys think of political lesbianism (and any other political queerness, I suppose, but this is the only type I've seen so far)? I keep seeing it pop up and was wondering if any of you guys had, too.



What do you mean by "political lesbianism?"


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

gay guys are hot


----------



## Aiyana

Political lesbianism bugs me, but I can't really explain why.

I'm pansexual and trans/non-binary (closest label I can find is genderfluid).


----------



## Lady Timpani

GameLaxer said:


> What do you mean by "political lesbianism?"



Basically it's this idea that straight women (mostly, though I think other types of queer women have been doing this too) choose to be lesbians to fight against sexism. You can read more here.

I'm with Aiyana in that I can't exactly pinpoint what bothers me about it. The closest I can come to explaining it is that I honestly don't think sexual orientation or gender identity (because I'm pretty sure I've seen some nb people identify as "politically non-binary") are choices.

Sorry, this a topic that bugs me a lot, but I suck at articulating why.


----------



## Titi

I don't really believe political lesbianism is a thing... 
They're probably bi or les in the first place and use fighting against sexism as an excuse.
But since most of these girls are feminazis I'm gonna dislike them anyway,
I hate extreme feminism.


----------



## MayorOrpheus

Hana-Nezumi said:


> The reason it is such a struggle to get some people to take the message is mostly because of religion. It is wrong to discriminate against people based on their sexuality, and religion is not an excuse, because it is also wrong to impose your religion on other people. But some people believe that can and should discriminate against and hate homosexuals because that's what they interpret their religious texts as saying. And you're right that is is different depending on where you live.



I don't think you quite understand the religious part. It's pretty easy to blame religion when you don't understand it. The bible says homosexuality is a sin, just like a lot of other stuff. Simple as that. If someone is a christian, they have very right to not believe in adultery, lying, cheating, or being gay. That's not the same as hating gay people. The bible doesn't teach anyone to hate others. Period. I'm not religious, but I was raised in the church. I've literally never met another christian that hated gay people. Do they exist? Sure. But there are haters in every demographic you could possible name. 

I'm not trying to single you out, but comments like that irritate me. You don't defeat ignorance with ignorance. People have a right to believe what they want to believe. That's different than people hating others. Haters, no matter who they are or who they're hating on, should be shamed. 

Just my two cents. I considered not coming anywhere near this thread since emotions tend to run so high with things like this. My opinion on the whole thing? I just don't care. Gay, straight, any other combo....I so don't care. Be happy and do what you want. I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve and I don't like it when others do.


----------



## rockthemike13

MayorOrpheus said:


> I don't think you quite understand the religious part. It's pretty easy to blame religion when you don't understand it. The bible says homosexuality is a sin, just like a lot of other stuff. Simple as that. If someone is a christian, they have very right to not believe in adultery, lying, cheating, or being gay. That's not the same as hating gay people. The bible doesn't teach anyone to hate others. Period. I'm not religious, but I was raised in the church. I've literally never met another christian that hated gay people. Do they exist? Sure. But there are haters in every demographic you could possible name.
> 
> I'm not trying to single you out, but comments like that irritate me. You don't defeat ignorance with ignorance. People have a right to believe what they want to believe. That's different than people hating others. Haters, no matter who they are or who they're hating on, should be shamed.
> 
> Just my two cents. I considered not coming anywhere near this thread since emotions tend to run so high with things like this. My opinion on the whole thing? I just don't care. Gay, straight, any other combo....I so don't care. Be happy and do what you want. I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve and I don't like it when others do.



I don't recall ever reading that homosexuality is a sin.  Just that homosexuality will become very common when society is on the verge of a moral collapsing (I think it was in Romans).  

And I'm with you.  I see a lot of the LBGT community totally bashing on religion, at least on the television and in the newspapers.  I am not saying this to any body specifically, I know most of you probably don't.  Also am not saying there are not Christians that spew hate, I know there are.  But you can't win by calling them stupid and ripping on them.  I guess this goes back to the whole eye for an eye bit.


----------



## radical6

Lady Timpani said:


> What do you guys think of political lesbianism (and any other political queerness, I suppose, but this is the only type I've seen so far)? I keep seeing it pop up and was wondering if any of you guys had, too.



I know some political trans women.
I support them. Don't have much of an opinion on them though.

im very tired at this point of ignoring my chest but i really really want a binder. no one irl will buy it for me even if i offer them more than enough money. at this point im tempted to ask a teacher or my therapist but i feel like they wouldnt listen or care...i enter some giveaways for binders online but i never win. my transactions are connected to my mom so she sees everything i buy so i have no hope of buying it myself. aaaaaaaaaah im going to die


----------



## Clara Oswald

MayorOrpheus said:


> I don't think you quite understand the religious part. It's pretty easy to blame religion when you don't understand it. The bible says homosexuality is a sin, just like a lot of other stuff. Simple as that. If someone is a christian, they have very right to not believe in adultery, lying, cheating, or being gay. That's not the same as hating gay people. The bible doesn't teach anyone to hate others. Period. I'm not religious, but I was raised in the church. I've literally never met another christian that hated gay people. Do they exist? Sure. But there are haters in every demographic you could possible name.
> 
> I'm not trying to single you out, but comments like that irritate me. You don't defeat ignorance with ignorance. People have a right to believe what they want to believe. That's different than people hating others. Haters, no matter who they are or who they're hating on, should be shamed.
> 
> Just my two cents. I considered not coming anywhere near this thread since emotions tend to run so high with things like this. My opinion on the whole thing? I just don't care. Gay, straight, any other combo....I so don't care. Be happy and do what you want. I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve and I don't like it when others do.



To do with you saying the bible says that homosexuality is a sin. There is a paragraph in the bible that can be interpreted in many ways (I know their are many but this one in particular). I believe it says something like a man should not sleep with another man in a married bed (or something, that's just a vague memory, I don't even know if it's the right bit). As you can see that can be interpreted as saying being gay is wrong but it can also be interpreted as cheating on someone is wrong. It can even mean you should not sleep with another person in the bed you and your married partner share. So basically it all comes down to how you read it. The bible does not say homosexuality is a sin, for some it just implies it.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Why does this thread always devolve into religious debates


----------



## rockthemike13

Lady Timpani said:


> Why does this thread always devolve into religious debates



Because people keep saying- HOMOSEXUALITY IS SUPPRESSED THANKS TO THAT STUPID RELIGION!

And there are people who may believe in said religion and feel the need to speak out against that kind of talk.


----------



## Lady Timpani

rockthemike13 said:


> Because people keep saying- HOMOSEXUALITY IS SUPPRESSED THANKS TO THAT STUPID RELIGION!
> 
> And there are people who may believe in said religion and feel the need to speak out against that kind of talk.



I understand that, but I think a lot of people (at least, I would) would prefer that you guys use another venue to do so. Things got really nasty the last time that happened.


----------



## radical6

I don't want this thread to get locked a 2nd time, lol. I'm not religious but I don't hate religious people. Like yeah, a lot of their followers can be homophobic/transphobic/etc. But I come across a lot of rude atheists so tbh I don't think all of homophobia/transphobia is rooted in religion. Honestly I hate talking about religion in general since I hate a lot of religious people and a lot of atheists, so I'm just neutral in the whole argument.


----------



## MayorOrpheus

Lady Timpani said:


> I understand that, but I think a lot of people (at least, I would) would prefer that you guys use another venue to do so. Things got really nasty the last time that happened.



I don't see things getting nasty. Someone made an ignorant comment about religion, I pointed it out. I'm not even religious. I'm also not against gay, bi, hetero, or any other people. I'm against being intellectually dishonest. There's a lot of people and positions I disagree with, but I don't purposefully misrepresent them to fit my needs. Saying all republicans are knuckle dragging woman hating neanderthals isn't ok just because I'm a democrat. Likewise, saying all democrats are a bunch of tree hugging dirty hippies is dishonest. If you really want to stand up for your cause, don't misrepresent the other side. The thing that irritated me just happened to be about religion. Could have been anything. No one freak out. Carry on. Nothing to see here. These are definitely not the the droids you're looking for.


----------



## Lady Timpani

MayorOrpheus said:


> I don't see things getting nasty. Someone made an ignorant comment about religion, I pointed it out. I'm not even religious. I'm also not against gay, bi, hetero, or any other people. I'm against being intellectually dishonest. There's a lot of people and positions I disagree with, but I don't purposefully misrepresent them to fit my needs. Saying all republicans are knuckle dragging woman hating neanderthals isn't ok just because I'm a democrat. Likewise, saying all democrats are a bunch of tree hugging dirty hippies is dishonest. If you really want to stand up for your cause, don't misrepresent the other side. The thing that irritated me just happened to be about religion. Could have been anything. No one freak out. Carry on. Nothing to see here. These are definitely not the the droids you're looking for.



Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. Honestly, I didn't even read the post that started this all or even the conversation that it was a part of, so I can't really say anything on that front. My main worry wasn't even you or rockthemike but other people, since I've seen things like this escalate into much worse when others outside of the original conversation get involved.


----------



## Le Ham

Aw, crap, now I'm scared to even post my side of anything because I'm Christian. Guess I'll just get out before the hate arises. But I will say that I don't see why being allowed to do things is wrong on non-Godly terms (since I don't think most gays and other sexual orientations would believe in a heaven or hell, I could be wrong); however, forcing people to do something against their religion, isn't that wrong too, regardless of whether other people believe it? So I guess the problem goes both ways, or am I immoral and insensitive for saying that?


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

ChooChooMuffin said:


> Aw, crap, now I'm scared to even post my side of anything because I'm Christian. Guess I'll just get out before the hate arises. But I will say that I don't see why being allowed to do things is wrong on non-Godly terms (since I don't think most gays and other sexual orientations would believe in a heaven or hell, I could be wrong); however, forcing people to do something against their religion, isn't that wrong too, regardless of whether other people believe it? So I guess the problem goes both ways, or am I immoral and insensitive for saying that?



I'm not sure what you're saying here?  Forcing someone to do _what_ against their religion..? (Do you mean support same sex marriage? Or something else?)

EDIT: Just read the previous page about the "Political Lesbianism" thing.. and my first thought was "lol what??". :|

Neither sexual nor romantic orientation are choices, so.. women who swear off men and only date women are probably bi, at the least.

Also, how does that help fight sexism at all?? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong.. But I'm pretty sure refusing to date a guy doesn't magically make him stop being sexist.


Honestly, I don't think even the women who claim to be "politically lesbian" actually _mean_ it... They're probably just saying that out of spite. (if they _do_ mean it, though... I'd really like to know why they think that will help anything, and why they seem to think they can choose to be lesbian)


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Um, people, I was not blaming homophobia on Christianity itself, or on all Christians, but on _people who use religion as an excuse_ to hate and discriminate, because THEIR OWN INTERPRETATION of the religion convinces them is is the right thing to do. Don't take my words out of context.

I like how everyone also just assumed I was talking about Christians when I didn't name a specific religion, as I also had Muslims in mind.


----------



## GameLaxer

Honestly, I think that anyone, whether religious or not, can be homophobic. It is just part of general culture, though homosexuality and/or general sexual fluidity have been around for thousands of years. Some of the cultural abhorrence comes from a purely anthropological background...for instance, a culture may have believed homosexuality, especially in men, to cause sanitation/health issues, or a same-sex couple would prevent the procreation of their culture and in more primitive times, that would mean fewer hands to work fields, etc. or continue the legacy of the culture or family name (especially with regards to sons). Some of these cultural beliefs were integrated into religion as well, and religion is also a cultural belief, as is atheism. However, the vast majority of history has been dominated by religion, and as a result, the propagation of the human species and, by extension, more religious followers/believers, was necessary. With gay couples, that would prevent such growth in power and influence of religion. Anyway, in almost all extremely conservative branches of religion, homosexuality is abhorred because of precisely this reason (though it is merely stated by most that it is quoted from the Bible). Religion isn't the only cause of homophobia, and I just wanted to point that out as well--there are definitely many other factors, because atheists also can be homophobic, etc.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

I need to respond to the comment that was directed at me and started this whole thing.



MayorOrpheus said:


> I don't think you quite understand the religious part. It's pretty easy to blame religion when you don't understand it. The bible says homosexuality is a sin, just like a lot of other stuff. Simple as that. If someone is a christian, they have very right to not believe in adultery, lying, cheating, or being gay. That's not the same as hating gay people. The bible doesn't teach anyone to hate others. Period. I'm not religious, but I was raised in the church. I've literally never met another christian that hated gay people. Do they exist? Sure. But there are haters in every demographic you could possible name.
> 
> I'm not trying to single you out, but comments like that irritate me. You don't defeat ignorance with ignorance. People have a right to believe what they want to believe. That's different than people hating others. Haters, no matter who they are or who they're hating on, should be shamed.


I'm offended that you think I "don't understand" and that I'm fighting "ignorance with ignorance". You took my comment completely out of context, creating a strawman (which everyone else then hopped on) I was not attacking religion (and I did not single out Christianity either) I did NOT say that all Christians hate gay people or that religion itself is inherently bad. I was just saying that most people who are homophobic are so because THEY believe that is what their religion tells them (whether it is what the religion actually says or not)


----------



## Lady Timpani

Hana-Nezumi, I'm not sure if you think I was attacking you or not, but either way, I want to apologize. I was simply trying to defuse the tension in the thread by talking to the others involved in the conversation. I hadn't actually read the original conversation or even your post, but if I said anything that made you feel like I was singling you out, I'm sorry.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Lady Timpani said:


> Hana-Nezumi, I'm not sure if you think I was attacking you or not, but either way, I want to apologize. I was simply trying to defuse the tension in the thread by talking to the others involved in the conversation. I hadn't actually read the original conversation or even your post, but if I said anything that made you feel like I was singling you out, I'm sorry.


You were completely fine. But thank you.

It's just that one person took my post out of context and then others jumped in and got defensive for no reason and felt like they had to be all "not all Christians are like that!" when nobody had said anything of the sort.


----------



## Clara Oswald

Hana-Nezumi said:


> You were completely fine. But thank you.
> 
> It's just that one person took my post out of context and then others jumped in and got defensive for no reason and felt like they had to be all "not all Christians are like that!" when nobody had said anything of the sort.



I hope you don't think I was attacking you because I did mean to at all, if I did I'm very sorry. I just wanted to clarify that the bible does not directly say homosexuality is a sin. Sorry.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Uxie said:


> I hope you don't think I was attacking you because I did mean to at all, if I did I'm very sorry. I just wanted to clarify that the bible does not directly say homosexuality is a sin. Sorry.


I didn't think you were attacking me and your comment was one that I agree with and actually was in line with what I was trying to say in the first place. But thank you.

I realize most of the posts were addressing no one in particular, it's just that the thread took a turn in a direction it didn't need to go in because of a misinterpretion of something I said, which made me annoyed but it wasn't really anyone's fault. Just a misunderstanding.

The thing that made me feel attacked was the person who was telling me that comments like mine are irritating, I'm fighting ignorance with ignorance, and that I don't understand religion.


----------



## MayorOrpheus

Hana-Nezumi said:


> I need to respond to the comment that was directed at me and started this whole thing.
> 
> 
> I'm offended that you think I "don't understand" and that I'm fighting "ignorance with ignorance". You took my comment completely out of context, creating a strawman (which everyone else then hopped on) I was not attacking religion (and I did not single out Christianity either) I did NOT say that all Christians hate gay people or that religion itself is inherently bad. I was just saying that most people who are homophobic are so because THEY believe that is what their religion tells them (whether it is what the religion actually says or not)



You want an apology? You made an ignorant statement. Try not to be so easily offended. Believe it or not, people are allowed to disagree with things you say. You disagree with me. You don't see me whining abou it.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

MayorOrpheus said:


> You want an apology? You made an ignorant statement. Try not to be so easily offended. Believe it or not, people are allowed to disagree with things you say. You disagree with me. You don't see me whining abou it.


I didn't make an ignorant statement. You took what I said out of context. I was answering ThomasNLD's questions about why a message about LGBT+ equality is needed and why there are people who don't treat LGBT+ people as equals to begin with. So I said that the reason many people are hard to convince that homophobia is wrong is because of what _they_ believe their religion says. That is a true statement. I made no sweeping statements about Christianity in general or claims that all Christians are homophobes. And I was not even talking specifically about Christians, but anyone who uses religion as an excuse for hatred as there are also Muslims who do the same thing.

I wasn't offended because you disagreed with me, but because you accused me of not understanding religion, called my comment irritating, and implied that I was being ignorant. Those are not disagreements, but completely unnecessary personal attacks. And you put words in my mouth starting a religious debate in this thread when there didn't even need to be one.


----------



## Zeiro

tsundere said:


> im very tired at this point of ignoring my chest but i really really want a binder. no one irl will buy it for me even if i offer them more than enough money. at this point im tempted to ask a teacher or my therapist but i feel like they wouldnt listen or care...i enter some giveaways for binders online but i never win. my transactions are connected to my mom so she sees everything i buy so i have no hope of buying it myself. aaaaaaaaaah im going to die


you could ask a school counselor or close teacher?? i'm sure they would understand. if not, are there any other adults that you're close with?


----------



## Hoxaxon

I'm straight, although I know many gays.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Hoxaxon said:


> I'm straight, although I know many gays.



...

Good for you??? lol?


----------



## MayorOrpheus

Hana-Nezumi said:


> I didn't make an ignorant statement. You took what I said out of context. I was answering ThomasNLD's questions about why a message about LGBT+ equality is needed and why there are people who don't treat LGBT+ people as equals to begin with. So I said that the reason many people are hard to convince that homophobia is wrong is because of what _they_ believe their religion says. That is a true statement. I made no sweeping statements about Christianity in general or claims that all Christians are homophobes. And I was not even talking specifically about Christians, but anyone who uses religion as an excuse for hatred as there are also Muslims who do the same thing.
> 
> I wasn't offended because you disagreed with me, but because you accused me of not understanding religion, called my comment irritating, and implied that I was being ignorant. Those are not disagreements, but completely unnecessary personal attacks. And you put words in my mouth starting a religious debate in this thread when there didn't even need to be one.



They weren't personal attacks. Not sure how you came away from it with that. In my opinion, your comments were ignorant and irritating. Again, you may want to work on getting a thicker skin if you take offense to everyone that disagrees with you.


----------



## Hoxaxon

Mephisto Pheles said:


> ...
> 
> Good for you??? lol?




Heh, I was just stating that.


----------



## remiaphasia

tsundere said:


> idk i try not to refer to non-het people as qu**r since it's still used as a slur. but i wish there was a general word for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community that isnt a slur.



I refer to myself as queer, and plenty of others do as well.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

MayorOrpheus said:


> They weren't personal attacks. Not sure how you came away from it with that. In my opinion, your comments were ignorant and irritating. Again, you may want to work on getting a thicker skin if you take offense to everyone that disagrees with you.


Just because it's your opinion doesn't mean it's not a personal attack. And you're still ignoring my point that you took what I said completely out of context. I told you why I was offended it had nothing to do with you disagreeing, it was because you insulted my intelligence by telling me I don't understand religion (I do) and that my comments are ignorant (they weren't). I do have a very thick skin. My feelings are not hurt. That doesn't mean I'll just let people get away with saying false things about me and putting words in my mouth.


----------



## MayorOrpheus

Hana-Nezumi said:


> Just because it's your opinion doesn't mean it's not a personal attack. And you're still ignoring my point that you took what I said completely out of context. I told you why I was offended it had nothing to do with you disagreeing, it was because you insulted my intelligence by telling me I don't understand religion (I do) and that my comments are ignorant (they weren't). I do have a very thick skin. My feelings are not hurt. That doesn't mean I'll just let people get away with saying false things about me and putting words in my mouth.



It wasn't a personal attack. I didn't put words in your mouth. I read what you wrote and considered it ignorant. I don't know why you're having a hard time dealing with that. It's called opinion. I have one. If I'd said something offensive, I'd apologize. You don't deserve an apology just because you're over sensitive. I don't care when people disagree with me. Why? People have opinions. There's bound to be someone who will disagree with me at some point. Whatever. Your sensitivity has derailed whatever conversation was going on here, at some point. Congrats.


----------



## GameLaxer

Ok, guys, would you mind if we stayed on topic about LGBTQIA+ topics, please? I'd like to think of this thread as a safe space, and for everyone to voice his/her/their opinions without judgement, but rather with opinionated responses. You can say, respectfully, that you disagree, but this should be first and foremost a place to discuss LGBT+ issues, not flaws in arguments, etc. If you would like to continue a conversation that is not relevant, I, personally, and I'm sure many others, would appreciate it. Just remember that respect and understanding are key elements here and in any safe space. Thank you.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

MayorOrpheus said:


> It wasn't a personal attack. I didn't put words in your mouth. I read what you wrote and considered it ignorant. I don't know why you're having a hard time dealing with that. It's called opinion. I have one. If I'd said something offensive, I'd apologize. You don't deserve an apology just because you're over sensitive. I don't care when people disagree with me. Why? People have opinions. There's bound to be someone who will disagree with me at some point. Whatever. Your sensitivity has derailed whatever conversation was going on here, at some point. Congrats.


I'm not even sensitive. I told you my feelings weren't hurt. So you're wrong again. You're not even listening to a single one of the points I'm making so whatever. I'm done with you.


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

^Way to continue it.


----------



## GameLaxer

Izzy Reincarnated said:


> ^Way to continue it.



lol thank you. I'm glad someone noticed my post.


----------



## remiaphasia

Do any of you play Tomodatchi Life? I tried the demo today because some other TBTers mentioned that I might like it. Other than just seeming boring in general, I was kinda of upset that it wouldn't let me make my girlfriend's mii my spouse and hinted pretty heavily that you had to have a het couple to have a baby  I mean, the game was boring besides that so I wouldn't keep playing it even if I could, but I thought that was lame.


----------



## GameLaxer

remiaphasia said:


> Do any of you play Tomodatchi Life? I tried the demo today because some other TBTers mentioned that I might like it. Other than just seeming boring in general, I was kinda of upset that it wouldn't let me make my girlfriend's mii my spouse and hinted pretty heavily that you had to have a het couple to have a baby  I mean, the game was boring besides that so I wouldn't keep playing it even if I could, but I thought that was lame.



I was considering getting that game, but got Harvest Moon: A New Beginning instead xD I'm really sorry that you had that experience...that's either an oversight on their part or rather homophobic (unlike the Sims). If anything, I would write something to the creators of the game and explain that their game is not only discriminatory, but also failing to compete with a major brand (the Sims) in terms of relationships. Perhaps it was only in the demo version, though. Who knows...but little things like that annoy me as well. Sometimes I even used to play as male characters in order to "woo" the girls, like in Harvest Moon XD but...yea...playing games with hetero-normative designs can be upsetting at times, so I understand. :/


----------



## f11

GameLaxer said:


> I was considering getting that game, but got Harvest Moon: A New Beginning instead xD I'm really sorry that you had that experience...that's either an oversight on their part or rather homophobic (unlike the Sims). If anything, I would write something to the creators of the game and explain that their game is not only discriminatory, but also failing to compete with a major brand (the Sims) in terms of relationships. Perhaps it was only in the demo version, though. Who knows...but little things like that annoy me as well. Sometimes I even used to play as male characters in order to "woo" the girls, like in Harvest Moon XD but...yea...playing games with hetero-normative designs can be upsetting at times, so I understand. :/


Nintendo apologized and said it would be in the next game.


----------



## Saylor

remiaphasia said:


> Do any of you play Tomodatchi Life? I tried the demo today because some other TBTers mentioned that I might like it. Other than just seeming boring in general, I was kinda of upset that it wouldn't let me make my girlfriend's mii my spouse and hinted pretty heavily that you had to have a het couple to have a baby  I mean, the game was boring besides that so I wouldn't keep playing it even if I could, but I thought that was lame.


Yeah, a lot of people noticed that and protested. I didn't really have any interest in the game to begin with but the fact that you can't have same-sex marriages turned me off even more, just cause marriage seems like a pretty big aspect of the game. It's too bad that wasn't included.


----------



## remiaphasia

GameLaxer said:


> I was considering getting that game, but got Harvest Moon: A New Beginning instead xD I'm really sorry that you had that experience...that's either an oversight on their part or rather homophobic (unlike the Sims). If anything, I would write something to the creators of the game and explain that their game is not only discriminatory, but also failing to compete with a major brand (the Sims) in terms of relationships. Perhaps it was only in the demo version, though. Who knows...but little things like that annoy me as well. Sometimes I even used to play as male characters in order to "woo" the girls, like in Harvest Moon XD but...yea...playing games with hetero-normative designs can be upsetting at times, so I understand. :/



Well it's only real life simulation games where it bothers me. Where you play a character that's walking around in daily life doing daily life things, et cetera having a family a job and a house or whatever. Like the Sims. If the whole point is that you're customizing a "life" why would they exclude things that aren't heteronormative? That'd be like if you couldn't make Sims that weren't white haha. 

But it's not a big thing, just kinda took me aback since Nintendo is a household name.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Saylor said:


> Yeah, a lot of people noticed that and protested. I didn't really have any interest in the game to begin with but the fact that you can't have same-sex marriages turned me off even more, just cause marriage seems like a pretty big aspect of the game. It's too bad that wasn't included.



I didn't realize that there had been any uproar over it, but I'm hearing now that this is sort of an old topic and shame on me for peeling the bandage off of old wounds I guess >.> Woops


----------



## GameLaxer

remiaphasia said:


> Well it's only real life simulation games where it bothers me. Where you play a character that's walking around in daily life doing daily life things, et cetera having a family a job and a house or whatever. Like the Sims. If the whole point is that you're customizing a "life" why would they exclude things that aren't heteronormative? That'd be like if you couldn't make Sims that weren't white haha.
> 
> But it's not a big thing, just kinda took me aback since Nintendo is a household name.



True, true.

- - - Post Merge - - -



C r y s t a l said:


> Nintendo apologized and said it would be in the next game.



Good for them. Glad that they recognized it.


----------



## Vida

GameLaxer said:


> I was considering getting that game, but got Harvest Moon: A New Beginning instead xD



What? Are there same-sex relationships in Harvest Moon: A New Beginning? o.o


----------



## Lady Timpani

Vida said:


> What? Are there same-sex relationships in Harvest Moon: A New Beginning? o.o



I've heard that, with the character customization it offers, you can make it look like you're in a same-sex relationship.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Lady Timpani said:


> I've heard that, with the character customization it offers, you can make it look like you're in a same-sex relationship.



Yeah. There's no same-sex relationships in HM:ANB, but girl avatars can wear "boy clothes" (and get a "boy haircut") and vice versa.

You can do the same thing in Tomodachi Life, though.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Mephisto Pheles said:


> Yeah. There's no same-sex relationships in HM:ANB, but girl avatars can wear "boy clothes" (and get a "boy haircut") and vice versa.
> 
> You can do the same thing in Tomodachi Life, though.



I'm honestly curious to know if HM games will ever have same-sex marriages. I know HMDS: Cute had the "best friends" option in the Japanese version, but it'd still be nice to 1) court all the girls (or boys), not just the special ones and 2) have it be an actual marriage. 

For now I guess I'll just stick with being a boy lol.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Lady Timpani said:


> I'm honestly curious to know if HM games will ever have same-sex marriages. I know HMDS: Cute had the "best friends" option in the Japanese version, but it'd still be nice to 1) court all the girls (or boys), not just the special ones and 2) have it be an actual marriage.
> 
> For now I guess I'll just stick with being a boy lol.



Well, I don't know if it's progress or not, but.. There's a character in the new game (will be called "Story of Seasons" in NA, apparently) named Marian.

Fogu says that the character is a "male doctor", but the Wikia page for the game says that the character is a trans woman.

Either way, it's good the character is there (if they're not there solely to be mocked, that is..), because if the character is a trans woman, that's trans representation. And if the character is a cis man, it's representation for gay men, because the character is said to have a boyfriend.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Mephisto Pheles said:


> Well, I don't know if it's progress or not, but.. There's a character in the new game (will be called "Story of Seasons" in NA, apparently) named Marian.
> 
> Fogu says that the character is a "male doctor", but the Wikia page for the game says that the character is a trans woman.
> 
> Either way, it's good the character is there (if they're not there solely to be mocked, that is..), because if the character is a trans woman, that's trans representation. And if the character is a cis man, it's representation for gay men, because the character is said to have a boyfriend.



!!! That's really cool. I get the feeling she's probably not a joke character (at least I hope not), but I guess well have to wait and see. I haven't played a new HM game since ToT, so this will be pretty cool.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Lady Timpani said:


> !!! That's really cool. I get the feeling she's probably not a joke character (at least I hope not), but I guess well have to wait and see. I haven't played a new HM game since ToT, so this will be pretty cool.



Yeah, I was pretty happy when I read that haha. Made me consider actually getting the game when it's released.

I'm a little confused on why they'd change "cis man" to "trans woman", though (assuming the character was a cis man in the Japanese version, that is)..

At first I thought "It's probably because the character looks so feminine, and they wanted to avoid 'controversy', so they made the character a trans woman" (kind of like how Gracie in the Animal Crossing series is a man in the Japanese version, but here in NA, at least, Gracie's gender was changed to female). But then I realized that that'd be a silly reason, because having a trans character would probably be even more controversial lol.

Her design reminds me a lot of Julius' from ToT/AP, too. xD I bet they'd get along if they were in the same game.


----------



## Vida

Mephisto Pheles said:


> (kind of like how Gracie in the Animal Crossing series is a man in the Japanese version, but here in NA, at least, Gracie's gender was changed to female).



Wow, I didn't know this. That's interesting!

About the new Harvest Moon game... I think it's ridiculous that you can make it appear as if it's a same-sex relationship by cross-dressing. I would have bought the game if gay marriage was actually possible in that game xD


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Vida said:


> Wow, I didn't know this. That's interesting!
> 
> About the new Harvest Moon game... I think it's ridiculous that you can make it appear as if it's a same-sex relationship by cross-dressing. I would have bought the game if gay marriage was actually possible in that game xD



I think it's good you're given the option to dress in whatever clothes you want, because there _are_ men out there who like wearing dresses and the like (I enjoy feminine clothing, myself), as well as women who like to wear more "masculine" clothing.. But I don't understand why they're willing to include that, but not same-sex relationships lol.


----------



## Vida

Yeah, same here. Of course, I'm not complaining about the cross-dressing itself, I just find it ignorant how they don't include same-sex relationships...


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Vida said:


> Yeah, same here. Of course, I'm not complaining about the cross-dressing itself, I just find it ignorant how they don't include same-sex relationships...



It is ignorant, but I think the option to wear "boy" clothes or "girl" clothes, regardless of what gender you choose to be in the game is a good sign that we're a little closer to getting that HM game that let's guys marry guys, and girls marry girls.


----------



## Lady Timpani

I just looked up Marian, and I LOVE her design. You're right, she does seem like Julian. 

Also, is this the game the XSEED is translating? I know that Natsume were the ones who edited out the Best Friends system for NA, so if XSEED is the developer for this one, Marian might be a sign that they're more inclusive than Natsume was.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Lady Timpani said:


> I just looked up Marian, and I LOVE her design. You're right, she does seem like Julian.
> 
> Also, is this the game the XSEED is translating? I know that Natsume were the ones who edited out the Best Friends system for NA, so if XSEED is the developer for this one, Marian might be a sign that they're more inclusive than Natsume was.



Yup - it is.

I was a bit irked with the fact that it couldn't have "Harvest Moon" in the title due to that, but I can definitely get over that if it means the series will be more inclusive.


----------



## acnlMadeleine

I just dont get why we even need a page like this for ANIMAL CROSSING.   
??


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

acnlMadeleine said:


> I just dont get why we even need a page like this for ANIMAL CROSSING.
> ??



This is the "Brewster's Cafe" forum - it's for things unrelated to Animal Crossing. So, why not?


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

^ Exactly.


----------



## acnlMadeleine

Oh yeah ok sorry


----------



## radical6

Zeiro said:


> you could ask a school counselor or close teacher?? i'm sure they would understand. if not, are there any other adults that you're close with?



idk my counselor didnt seem to be the type of guy who would do that..i was thinking about approaching my band teacher bc i feel like shes the most accepting but idk tbh. the only other adults im close to is my family and they dont like the idea of it so

ill buy anyone a steam game if they buy me a binder ok. im serious


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

tsundere said:


> idk my counselor didnt seem to be the type of guy who would do that..i was thinking about approaching my band teacher bc i feel like shes the most accepting but idk tbh. the only other adults im close to is my family and they dont like the idea of it so
> 
> ill buy anyone a steam game if they buy me a binder ok. im serious



What about sports bras, Tsun? Depending on the bra and your bust size, sports bras can be pretty flattening.


----------



## radical6

Mephisto Pheles said:


> What about sports bras, Tsun? Depending on the bra and your bust size, sports bras can be pretty flattening.



yeah i wear a sports bra atm but it doesnt help much. its better than nothing i suppose.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

tsundere said:


> yeah i wear a sports bra atm but it doesnt help much. its better than nothing i suppose.



Hm... Do you think you'd be able to make your own, if you could get ahold of the right materials?

I've seen quite a few homemade chest binders on some blogs, and I'm sure there are tutorials for them out there.


----------



## f11

I found this (x)

But I really wouldn't suggest Ace bandages tho.


----------



## Lady Timpani

C r y s t a l said:


> I found this (x)
> 
> But I really wouldn't suggest Ace bandages tho.



Ace bandages aren't a very good idea, especially if you have big breasts (like me). I tried it once and it was very uncomfortable, even for a short amount of time. 

I don't even know why that person would bring up tape. That can lead to some pretty bad scarring.


----------



## Zeiro

Tape can also lead to damage to your ribcage I think.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Zeiro said:


> Tape can also lead to damage to your ribcage I think.



Binding in general can cause damage if you do it for long periods of time..

But yeah, I'd recommend avoiding using that method. There are much safer ways to bind.


----------



## Lady Timpani

I think I saw a post on tumblr (a really long time ago, mind you) about creating a binder out of a muscle shirt or thermal or something. It did a really good job, from the pictures people posted. I'll see if I can find it.


----------



## Mango

hi, im panromantic and i thought:
WHY NOT COMMENT​


----------



## remiaphasia

If anyone is looking for advice on binding, or just transmale things in general, I'd recommend checking out the Self Made Men (selfmademen.com)


----------



## GameLaxer

Mango said:


> hi, im panromantic and i thought:
> WHY NOT COMMENT​



Sweet!


----------



## Candypoop

hello everyone just a question:

since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.


----------



## Candypoop

*bump*


----------



## Zeiro

Candypoop said:


> hello everyone just a question:
> 
> since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.


i think you're a heteroromantic homosexual, but it's fine if you don't wanna stick to labels like that


----------



## baller

y do ppl insist on having labels? i mean r u going to go into the real world wearing a badge wit ur gender identitiy? nobody cares. brb checkin my white cisscum privilege


----------



## radical6

ehh i could make a binder, but ill need to buy the supplies first. ill look into it later



Candypoop said:


> hello everyone just a question:
> 
> since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.



um honestly you can use whatever words. the gender you were assigned at birth has nothing to do with your gender, so you could be homosexual/homoromantic either way. there are also words like gynosexual/romantic. gynoromantic means youre attracted to feminine people (regardless of gender tho, i dont know any words just for women). and then theres androsexual which means youre sexually attracted to masculine people regardless of gender. however i do see people just use the terms to say "im only attracted to women so im gynosexual/romantic" etc.


----------



## oath2order

Mephisto Pheles said:


> Well, I don't know if it's progress or not, but.. There's a character in the new game (will be called "Story of Seasons" in NA, apparently) named Marian.
> 
> Fogu says that the character is a "male doctor", but the Wikia page for the game says that the character is a trans woman.
> 
> Either way, it's good the character is there (if they're not there solely to be mocked, that is..), because if the character is a trans woman, that's trans representation. And if the character is a cis man, it's representation for gay men, because the character is said to have a boyfriend.



Take stuff on Wiki's with a grain of salt, because anybody can edit it to say "trans woman"


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Candypoop said:


> hello everyone just a question:
> 
> since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.



Probably not the answer you're looking for.. But you could just do what I do and opt out of labeling your romantic/sexual orientation.


Technically, I have no "preference" for any gender or sex, so some would say I'm "pansexual".. But thanks to the "*Bi* vs. *Pan*" war, I decided to avoid "picking a side" and risking offending anyone. (Which I don't have a problem with, personally - so it works for me, at least.)

Instead, if I'm attracted to someone (assuming I have the courage) I tell them. And if someone who I'm not attracted to "asks me out", I decline. I needn't even say _why_ - just "I'm sorry.. but I don't feel that way about you".

(all that said, I'm not someone who thinks labels are "pointless" and need to be thrown out - not at all. I understand their uses, and respect them)


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Candypoop said:


> hello everyone just a question:
> 
> since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.


You could just say "I'm attracted to males" when you want to tell someone about your sexuality. If you're only platonically attracted to females then that's just friendship? Unless you're looking for a different word.


----------



## Nix

I personally am straight, but I don't discriminate against anyone for any reason other than their actions towards me personally. I don't understand how humans can be so ignorant and eager to throw away all their manners just because someone has a different lifestyle. 

My family has some strong resentment towards the community getting married and I just don't understand it. It might also be because I am an atheist and can detach myself from the notion that it is a religious ceremony. It really isn't anymore. It's run by the government and is a big money dump. There's nothing spiritual about signing a piece of paper. Sure you can have a Christian wedding but that's only if you want to, they have weddings for atheists, so why aren't there weddings for LGBTQA in every country in America? 

Another thing that bugs me is our history as a country is we came over to the US for religious equality. We came over here because we were getting forced into the Catholic church and some religious groups wanted to start their own new life over here. Now Christianity is holding the US by the foot and I don't think that's fair to anyone. I'm just glad that LGBTQA marriages are becoming recognized in more and more states. It really is a big jump considering how many people are against it. C: I'm glad we're finally moving forward.​


----------



## Vida

Mephisto Pheles said:


> Technically, I have no "preference" for any gender or sex, so some would say I'm "pansexual".. But thanks to the "*Bi* vs. *Pan*" war, I decided to avoid "picking a side" and risking offending anyone. (Which I don't have a problem with, personally - so it works for me, at least



I totally understand your point but to be honest, I have never encountered "the bi vs pan war" outside the Internet. I know a couple of people in real life who are definitely pan but just call themselves bi because they either don't know the label pan or who think that the label bisexual is sufficient in itself. Ive never met anyone who identifies as bi and underlined the fact that they are only attracted to guys and girls... That said, to me, the label pansexual seems pretty unnecessary, like in "who on earth cares?". I just call myself bi even though in terms of labels, pansexual would probably be more fitting.  just don't care about the small difference between bi and pan. And in real life, it's easier to just use bisexual.


----------



## matt

I'm straight. If I bend over, does that mean I'm bent?


----------



## Lady Timpani

Vida said:


> I totally understand your point but to be honest, I have never encountered "the bi vs pan war" outside the Internet. I know a couple of people in real life who are definitely pan but just call themselves bi because they either don't know the label pan or who think that the label bisexual is sufficient in itself. Ive never met anyone who identifies as bi and underlined the fact that they are only attracted to guys and girls... That said, to me, the label pansexual seems pretty unnecessary, like in "who on earth cares?". I just call myself bi even though in terms of labels, pansexual would probably be more fitting.  just don't care about the small difference between bi and pan. And in real life, it's easier to just use bisexual.



Yeah, I've actually seen quite a few people refer to themselves as bi/pan and say that they "basically mean the same thing". I've also heard from some bisexuals that the term isn't as literal as you would think-- they say that bisexuality is the attraction to two or *more* genders. 

This is just what I've seen/heard, though, and seeing as I'm neither, I definitely wouldn't call myself an authority on the matter.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Vida said:


> I totally understand your point but to be honest, I have never encountered "the bi vs pan war" outside the Internet. I know a couple of people in real life who are definitely pan but just call themselves bi because they either don't know the label pan or who think that the label bisexual is sufficient in itself. Ive never met anyone who identifies as bi and underlined the fact that they are only attracted to guys and girls... That said, to me, the label pansexual seems pretty unnecessary, like in "who on earth cares?". I just call myself bi even though in terms of labels, pansexual would probably be more fitting.  just don't care about the small difference between bi and pan. And in real life, it's easier to just use bisexual.



Don't you think it's a little rude to call someone's preferred label "unnecessary"? Especially on a LGBT+ thread..


Honestly, that sort of thing is part of the reason _why_ it's "easier to just use bisexual" - the label is often judged harshly, even _within_ the LGBT+ community.

And while I do agree that Bi can indeed mean both "men and women only" _and_ "any/all", depending on the person using it.. where's the harm in choosing a more specific label - one whose definition has never been debated?


It always makes me sad when I see people who choose to use the bi label speak ill of those who choose to use pan instead..
Especially when they accuse the person who identifies as pan of using the label to be "cool" (which I'm not suggesting you're doing here) - I mean, I would think that someone who identifies as bi would be more.. I don't know, sympathetic? Since bisexuals are often accused of the same exact thing.


----------



## remiaphasia

Mephisto Pheles said:


> Don't you think it's a little rude to call someone's preferred label "unnecessary"? Especially on a LGBT+ thread..
> 
> 
> Honestly, that sort of thing is part of the reason _why_ it's "easier to just use bisexual" - the label is often judged harshly, even _within_ the LGBT+ community.
> 
> And while I do agree that Bi can indeed mean both "men and women only" _and_ "any/all", depending on the person using it.. where's the harm in choosing a more specific label - one whose definition has never been debated?
> 
> 
> It always makes me sad when I see people who choose to use the bi label speak ill of those who choose to use pan instead..
> Especially when they accuse the person who identifies as pan of using the label to be "cool" (which I'm not suggesting you're doing here) - I mean, I would think that someone who identifies as bi would be more.. I don't know, sympathetic? Since bisexuals are often accused of the same exact thing.



The issue is that there is literally no difference between bisexual and pansexual. None. Whoever insists that there is, is someone who doesn't understand that it's wrong to generalize a group of people because of _preferences_ found by a number of people in the group. There's a huge amount of bi erasure in the LGBT community...and the wave of people who like to "inform" others that bisexuals are only attracted to such and such are part of it. (Honestly, if you can't define pansexuality without falsely redefining the sexuality of bisexuals, then you have some serious thinking to do).

As far as this discussion continuing outside the internet, there have been a few instances in my personal life where I've been outright accused of transphobia/erasing intersex people?????? Granted, this individual is outright crazy -- like, she can't understand why any woman who identifies as a feminist would call herself straight (GEE IDK ANDEE MAYBE BECAUSE THEY'RE STRAIGHT????????????????????). In general I think a lot of people I've met at LGBT gatherings in my city choose pansexual because it doesn't come with the negative connotation that bisexual does in conversation with your average joe on the street (which I guess is another point of bitterness for a lot of people *shrug*).

But like I said...every single attempt I've seen at defining pansexuality is just an attempt to redefine bisexuality into something that's not true, and doesn't actually highlight a real difference between them. For instance, the infamous "hearts versus parts" commentary that I'm personally very sick of seeing lol. 

But you know, to each their own and that jazz.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

remiaphasia said:


> The issue is that there is literally no difference between bisexual and pansexual. None. Whoever insists that there is, is someone who doesn't understand that it's wrong to generalize a group of people because of _preferences_ found by a number of people in the group. There's a huge amount of bi erasure in the LGBT community...and the wave of people who like to "inform" others that bisexuals are only attracted to such and such are part of it. (Honestly, if you can't define pansexuality without falsely redefining the sexuality of bisexuals, then you have some serious thinking to do).
> 
> As far as this discussion continuing outside the internet, there have been a few instances in my personal life where I've been outright accused of transphobia/erasing intersex people?????? Granted, this individual is outright crazy -- like, she can't understand why any woman who identifies as a feminist would call herself straight (GEE IDK ANDEE MAYBE BECAUSE THEY'RE STRAIGHT????????????????????). In general I think a lot of people I've met at LGBT gatherings in my city choose pansexual because it doesn't come with the negative connotation that bisexual does in conversation with your average joe on the street (which I guess is another point of bitterness for a lot of people *shrug*).
> 
> But like I said...every single attempt I've seen at defining pansexuality is just an attempt to redefine bisexuality into something that's not true, and doesn't actually highlight a real difference between them. For instance, the infamous "hearts versus parts" commentary that I'm personally very sick of seeing lol.
> 
> But you know, to each their own and that jazz.


OK, wow. This sort of thing is _exactly_ what I was talking about when I was saying how some bisexuals have zero sympathy for pansexuals.

*1)* There _is_ a difference between being attracted to _two_ genders and being attracted to _any/all_.
So again, if someone wants to use a label (pan) that has _not_ been debated to describe their lack of a "preference", then that's _their_ choice.
If someone who is only attracted to two genders and wants to use bi to mean _attracted to two genders_, then that's _their_ choice.

*2)* Pansexuality erases _no one_. It does not claim to replace bi as a label.

Are there pansexual identified people who speak as though they're 'better' than bisexuals due to their lack of a preference? Yes.
But that belief is _not_ universal.

*3)* For someone who had (needlessly) argued with me that "not ALL cis/straight people are bad!", you seem to have a problem with negatively stereotyping pansexuals.


And lastly; Lose the hostility and hate and just leave pansexuals alone. They're not hurting anyone.


----------



## remiaphasia

Mephisto Pheles said:


> OK, wow. This sort of thing is _exactly_ what I was talking about when I was saying how some bisexuals have zero sympathy for pansexuals.
> 
> *1)* There _is_ a difference between being attracted to _two_ genders and being attracted to _any/all_.
> So again, if someone wants to use a label (pan) that has _not_ been debated to describe their lack of a "preference", then that's _their_ choice.
> If someone who is only attracted to two genders and wants to use bi to mean _attracted to two genders_, then that's _their_ choice.
> 
> *2)* Pansexuality erases _no one_. It does not claim to replace bi as a label.
> 
> Are there pansexual identified people who speak as though they're 'better' than bisexuals due to their lack of a preference? Yes.
> But that belief is _not_ universal.
> 
> *3)* For someone who had (needlessly) argued with me that "not ALL cis/straight people are bad!", you seem to have a problem with negatively stereotyping pansexuals.
> 
> 
> And lastly; Lose the hostility and hate and just leave pansexuals alone. They're not hurting anyone.




Care to point out where the hostility and hate was? 

Also, your first point perfectly illustrates my point about definitions of pansexuality being redefinitions of bisexuality. You even admit yourself that someone attracted to everyone regardless of gender could choose whichever label they wanted -- _because_ it makes no difference. They mean the same thing. There are bisexuals with preferences regarding intersex and transgender people and there are also pansexuals with the same preferences. That was my point.

I made no universal claims about people who identify as pansexual either...the only person with the needless hostility here is you


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

remiaphasia said:


> Care to point out where the hostility and hate was?
> 
> Also, your first point perfectly illustrates my point about definitions of pansexuality being redefinitions of bisexuality. You even admit yourself that someone attracted to everyone regardless of gender could choose whichever label they wanted -- _because_ it makes no difference. They mean the same thing. There are bisexuals with preferences regarding intersex and transgender people and there are also pansexuals with the same preferences. That was my point.
> 
> I made no universal claims about people who identify as pansexual either...the only person with the needless hostility here is you



The way you generalize and accuse pansexuals of erasing bisexuals gives the impression that you hate them.

And no, they aren't the same thing. They share _one_ thing in common.

Also, while there might be some pansexuals who tend to be attracted to one gender more than another, if they actually had a preference that excluded a gender entirely.. that wouldn't be pansexuality. 
And that's where bisexuality comes in - it, unlike pansexuality, can exclude genders - that's why they're separate labels.


**sigh** But you know what? Just forget I said anything. I'm not going to say anything further on the matter, because obviously I can't say anything LGBT+ related without it turning into a "debate".


----------



## remiaphasia

Mephisto Pheles said:


> The way you generalize and accuse pansexuals of erasing bisexuals gives the impression that you hate them.
> 
> And no, they aren't the same thing. They share _one_ thing in common.
> 
> Also, while there might be some pansexuals who tend to be attracted to one gender more than another, if they actually had a preference that excluded a gender entirely.. that wouldn't be pansexuality.
> And that's where bisexuality comes in - it, unlike pansexuality, can exclude genders - that's why they're separate labels.
> 
> 
> **sigh** But you know what? Just forget I said anything. I'm not going to say anything further on the matter, because obviously I can't say anything LGBT+ related without it turning into a "debate".



It's not even really a debate if you can't support the claims that you make. Just pointing that out, you didn't give an example of how I hate pansexuals or where I generalized them.


----------



## Titi

Yeah, I never understood the difference between bi and pan either.
I never seem to find any solid explanations as to how they are different... It seems pretty blurry.


----------



## remiaphasia

Titi said:


> Yeah, I never understood the difference between bi and pan either.
> I never seem to find any solid explanations as to how they are different... It seems pretty blurry.



Like I said, I think a lot of the people who insist that there is a meaningful difference have some internal reflection to do about why they need that to be the case. Of the people I know who identify as pansexual, they do so not because they feel the label doesn't represent them well, but because of other social reasons.


----------



## Celestefey

I just assumed that being pansexual meant you were attracted to anyone regardless of their gender identity or their sexual orientation or whatever. ;-; I mean I thought being bisexual was that you liked both males and females, but that was... It? I mean the prefix "bi" means "2" so I'm just assuming that's what it means. I don't know. You could argue that being pansexual and bisexual are the same anyway. I just don't get the difference. I know I'm definitely not heterosexual but I've never romantically been interested in another female, just sexually.  But at the same time, I'm not completely blocking that option out, because I mean, I only really started thinking about my sexual orientation when I was dating a boy/interested in a boy, so I might find out now that I am romantically interested in females. I don't feel like I am forced to put a label on it though or even obliged to tell anyone because I just like whoever I like, really. ;-; I don't know, I mean I would date absolutely anyone, regardless of their gender identity, sexual orientation or whatever, so does that make me pansexual? I don't know, just reading this whole debate has confused me even more. I'm just gonna be me and I'll like whoever I like.


----------



## Titi

Yeah if you like males and females then usually you also don't mind if a male identifies as a female or vice versa or if people are genderfluid or trans and whatnot. Which is pretty much the same as pan right?


----------



## remiaphasia

Titi said:


> Yeah if you like males and females then usually you also don't mind if a male identifies as a female or vice versa or if people are genderfluid or trans and whatnot. Which is pretty much the same as pan right?



I mean yeah. That's basically my own sexuality in a nutshell lol. I don't care about gender at all. There's nothing about bisexuality that says that you are strictly confined to only "conventional" gender options or w/e.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Titi said:


> Yeah, I never understood the difference between bi and pan either.
> I never seem to find any solid explanations as to how they are different... It seems pretty blurry.



Generally bisexuality is being interested in two (two or more, according to some people) genders, while pansexuality is defined as being attracted to all genders. 

The labels of other people honestly don't affect me, but I have seen some contention lately between the two, which I find interesting. I guess I just thought that bi and pan people wouldn't go at it because their labels are so similar and a lot of people dismiss them as fads.


----------



## Alice

Titi said:


> Yeah, I never understood the difference between bi and pan either.
> I never seem to find any solid explanations as to how they are different... It seems pretty blurry.



A simple explanation would be that a pan-sexual doesn't see divides when it comes to sex, or gender; it's more about who the individual than it is about what the individual is. Bisexuality still has that divide between male and female, wherein gender/sex still matters. A pan-sexual shouldn't keep gender/sex preferences because it goes against the nature of pan-sexuality; whereas it's perfectly within the realm of bisexuality to date both, but prefer another.


----------



## remiaphasia

Alice said:


> A simple explanation would be that a pan-sexual doesn't see divides when it comes to sex, or gender; it's more about who the individual than it is about what the individual is. Bisexuality still has that divide between male and female, wherein gender/sex still matters. A pan-sexual shouldn't keep gender/sex preferences because it goes against the nature of pan-sexuality; whereas it's perfectly within the realm of bisexuality to date both, but prefer another.



That's a really political definition though, especially where you say that pansexuals _shouldn't_ have gender related preferences (and lots of pansexual identified people do so, there's that). 

Also again, this definition depends on a definition of bisexuality that _isn't necessarily true_.


----------



## Titi

But, I mean, most people who consider themselves bi are open to all sorts of gender identities and orientations. I really don't think anyone would say "hum only stricly girls and boys and not the rest kthanks". In fact I kinda find it lame that people would think that and feel the need to create a separate label because of it. Now that I think of it it's pretty rude towards bisexuals, seems almost like looking down on them.


----------



## Alice

remiaphasia said:


> That's a really political definition though, especially where you say that pansexuals _shouldn't_ have gender related preferences (and lots of pansexual identified people do so, there's that).
> 
> Also again, this definition depends on a definition of bisexuality that _isn't necessarily true_.



If you prefer a certain gender, than you're not gender-blind, now are you? That's like saying you don't care what someone orders for you at a restaurant and then coming back with "oh, but I would've rathered ...". There's a difference between being and identifying as.


----------



## remiaphasia

Alice said:


> If you prefer a certain gender, than you're not gender-blind, now are you? That's like saying you don't care what someone orders for you at a restaurant and then coming back with "oh, but I would've rathered ...". There's a difference between being and identifying as.



Ever heard of a no true scotsman argument?


----------



## Alice

remiaphasia said:


> Ever heard of a no true scotsman argument?



ever heard of the fallacy fallacy?


----------



## remiaphasia

Alice said:


> ever heard of the fallacy fallacy?



Yes, I have 

But seriously, you're actually committing a "no true scotsman" by asserting that people who don't fit your interpretation of pansexuality aren't legitimately pansexual.


----------



## Alice

remiaphasia said:


> Yes, I have
> 
> But seriously, you're actually committing a "no true scotsman" by asserting that people who don't fit your interpretation of pansexuality aren't legitimately pansexual.



I never said it was my definition, exactly. I'm just going by what pansexuals have told me in the past. There's literally no point to being pansexual if you aren't a pansexual. If sex isn't irrelevant to you, then what's the point of identifying as one? To fit into a crowd? To seem more accepting and understanding to others? If you don't want a title, don't take a title, but to assume a title that essentially isn't what you are? That's just misrepresenting your interests.


----------



## Sir Takoya

I've been a tomboy/genderqueer for almost three years now, and now I'm about to be 18 and going into college. I haven't had a single boyfriend because of my personality, and I think it may be worse now that I'm adult because guys only seem to want pretty pretty girls. I consider myself a boy, even though I'm female so in a way I'm kind of like a gay person in a girl's body. My parents want me to change my style by giving me these little 'hints' on how to dress. It's like they want me to change myself because of some number. It's really annoying.


----------



## remiaphasia

Sir Takoya said:


> I've been a tomboy for almost three years now, and now I'm about to be 18 and going into college. I haven't had a single boyfriend because of my personality, and I think it may be worse now that I'm adult because guys only seem to want pretty pretty girls. My parents want me to change my style by giving me these little 'hints' on how to dress. It's like they want me to change myself because of some number. It's really annoying.



If you don't feel comfortable changing your style, you should tell your parents that. Are you moving away for college?


----------



## Sir Takoya

remiaphasia said:


> If you don't feel comfortable changing your style, you should tell your parents that. Are you moving away for college?



Nope, I'm staying here for college. Still going to University though.


----------



## remiaphasia

Sir Takoya said:


> Nope, I'm staying here for college. Still going to University though.



People are a lot different in college than they are in high school. You'll find guys who are into all sorts of things, it's just about surrounding yourself with people that have similar interests to you.


----------



## Alice

Sir Takoya said:


> Nope, I'm staying here for college. Still going to University though.



Do what feels right; tell them they're making you uncomfortable. There's no sense in leaving this hang in the air if it's just hurting you.

Parents will be parents, I suppose.


----------



## Sir Takoya

remiaphasia said:


> People are a lot different in college than they are in high school. You'll find guys who are into all sorts of things, it's just about surrounding yourself with people that have similar interests to you.



Having MUCH older siblings, I know they're different. It's just guys seem to be into the yoga-pants wearing girls and not... yeah...

- - - Post Merge - - -



Alice said:


> Do what feels right; tell them they're making you uncomfortable. There's no sense in leaving this hang in the air if it's just hurting you.
> 
> Parents will be parents, I suppose.



My parents are terrible and I just ignore them when they suggest things. I've been dragged to clothing stores with my mother earlier this year, but to no avail. I've been buying clothes with my own money.


----------



## Alice

Sir Takoya said:


> Having MUCH older siblings, I know they're different. It's just guys seem to be into the yoga-pants wearing girls and not... yeah...
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> My parents are terrible and I just ignore them when they suggest things. I've been dragged to clothing stores with my mother earlier this year, but to no avail. I've been buying clothes with my own money.



I kind of understand how you feel. My mom accepts my choices, but my father is still uneasy about seeing me with other women. On occasion he's introduced me to younger men that he knows through work, or the sons of friends of his. It's really concerning at times, and I've told him he's nothing helping at all. He's just stuck in his ways, and I really can't change that.


----------



## remiaphasia

Sir Takoya said:


> Having MUCH older siblings, I know they're different. It's just guys seem to be into the yoga-pants wearing girls and not... yeah...
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> My parents are terrible and I just ignore them when they suggest things. I've been dragged to clothing stores with my mother earlier this year, but to no avail. I've been buying clothes with my own money.



Well, yoga pants ARE pretty comfortable haha but no I get what you mean. 

It can be tough to get your parents to understand you, especially while you're living with them. I had the sort of parents that I've completely cut out of my life as an adult. There are some battles you can win, and some you can't, and some that aren't worth fighting. This in your case, is one that's not worth fighting. Keep buying your own clothes and wearing whatever you like.


----------



## radical6

I'm late to the pansexuality vs bisexuality argument but
Pansexuals don't hate bisexuals. I don't hate bisexuals. Bisexuality is described as being attracted to two genders. Pansexuality is being attracted to all genders. I don't mind dating a guy, a girl, or a nonbinary person. Or whatever gender. Though it's very much possible to be bisexual and only attracted to girls and nonbinary people for example. Bisexuality is not transphobic/cissexist unlessy ou make it to be. The pansexual community doesn't look down on bisexuals as transphobes. If anything, we need to stand with them y'know if they already face bi erasure from the gay and lesbian communities.


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

The meanings of Pansexual and Bisexual are becoming opinions to many peoppe now//


----------



## MozzarellaSticks

Sir Takoya said:


> Having MUCH older siblings, I know they're different. It's just guys seem to be into the yoga-pants wearing girls and not... yeah....


*is currently wearing yoga pants*

Lol, just kidding. I get what you mean. If it makes you feel better people get better at relationships as they age. They stop going for someone that looks good beside them and start to go for compatible, which does include looks.


----------



## Victor S Court

Spoiler: Misgendering/Parents/Mothers Warning



Something that makes me really scared about coming out to my parents that I'm a boy is that I remember getting my hair cut short and my mom said "You don't want to be a boy!" when we got there.

Added, I can easily imagine my parents saying "We're you're parents we're allowed to call you our daughter." Too easily in fact, so I just keep quiet about it even though it makes me really -_________-


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

Girls can have short hair too. Society these days.


----------



## remiaphasia

I have short hair. Actually this week or the next week I'm going to get it cut again, to just about under an inch this time.


----------



## Sir Takoya

exoticwhitebread said:


> *is currently wearing yoga pants*
> 
> Lol, just kidding. I get what you mean. If it makes you feel better people get better at relationships as they age. They stop going for someone that looks good beside them and start to go for compatible, which does include looks.



Still, if you're boyfriend was acting like a full-grown girl, wouldn't you be a little creeped out by it?



remiaphasia said:


> Well, yoga pants ARE pretty comfortable haha but no I get what you mean.
> 
> It can be tough to get your parents to understand you, especially while you're living with them. I had the sort of parents that I've completely cut out of my life as an adult. There are some battles you can win, and some you can't, and some that aren't worth fighting. This in your case, is one that's not worth fighting. Keep buying your own clothes and wearing whatever you like.



I don't really have a job because my parents are paying for college (losers!). So I can only buy a few t shirts at a time. I don't get allowance anymore and I'm running on graduation money. It's not too long before it runs out.



Alice said:


> I kind of understand how you feel. My mom accepts my choices, but my father is still uneasy about seeing me with other women. On occasion he's introduced me to younger men that he knows through work, or the sons of friends of his. It's really concerning at times, and I've told him he's nothing helping at all. He's just stuck in his ways, and I really can't change that.



That's kinda annoying. Why does he need to introduce you to strangers when you can just as easily find strangers yourself?


----------



## Alice

Probably because he thinks he knows what's better for me than I do. I don't blame him too much, but I still wish he'd give me air to breathe.


----------



## Vida

I wanted to add something to the bi/pan discussion:

If you like both men and women, how could you not like somebody who's in-between those two. And that is why I don't see a need for the label "pansexual". Most bisexuals (actually all bisexuals) I know would never say that they are exclusively attracted to men/women but to all people. 

I'm not saying people can't call themselves like that, it's their own business, but in my opionion, that label is pretty much unnecessary.


----------



## katsuragi

Vida said:


> I wanted to add something to the bi/pan discussion:
> 
> If you like both men and women, how could you not like somebody who's in-between those two. And that is why I don't see a need for the label "pansexual". Most bisexuals (actually all bisexuals) I know would never say that they are exclusively attracted to men/women but to all people.
> 
> I'm not saying people can't call themselves like that, it's their own business, but in my opionion, that label is pretty much unnecessary.



being bisexual does not only mean that you like men and women, it can be any mix of two genders across the entire non binary and binary spectrum. an example could be liking men and non binary people but not women. basically, because it is *bi*sexual you are suggesting that you like only two genders, so no you can't like anybody in between if you are bisexual. a pansexual person likes any gender, and is not limited to just two, so it is entirely necessary.

hopefully that made sense i'm awful at explaining things especially when i'm this tired


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Vida said:


> I wanted to add something to the bi/pan discussion:
> 
> If you like both men and women, how could you not like somebody who's in-between those two. And that is why I don't see a need for the label "pansexual". Most bisexuals (actually all bisexuals) I know would never say that they are exclusively attracted to men/women but to all people.
> 
> I'm not saying people can't call themselves like that, it's their own business, but in my opionion, that label is pretty much unnecessary.



wao. 

As a person who considers themselves "bisexual", that's just weird that anyone would be like- "well, why don't you just like EVERYONE, then?" 

because the truth is, I don't. I like women. I like men. The in-between is just not of interest to me, and I'm sorry if that insults anyone somehow, but I'm not really required to just like anyone that has masculine or feminine traits. You really can't dictate what someone can and can't like based on their particular label. Saying "well just be pansexual" is kinda- idk. Assuming things.

- - - Post Merge - - -



katsuragi said:


> being bisexual does not only mean that you like men and women, it can be any mix of two genders across the entire non binary and binary spectrum.



this, too. c:


----------



## Lady Timpani

Since we're discussing the definitions of labels, a question:

Although I ID as a lesbian, I think I would be open to dating a non-binary person, should I develop feelings for a person that identifies as non-binary. I know there are nb people out there who label themselves as lesbians. Basically my question is, is it okay to still refer to myself as a lesbian since I'm not... actively seeking out an nb person? Especially since some of the faab people who are attracted to only women stick with the term lesbian, or is this just a big no-no? (I think this made more sense in my head lol)


----------



## katsuragi

Lady Timpani said:


> Since we're discussing the definitions of labels, a question:
> 
> Although I ID as a lesbian, I think I would be open to dating a non-binary person, should I develop feelings for a person that identifies as non-binary. I know there are nb people out there who label themselves as lesbians. Basically my question is, is it okay to still refer to myself as a lesbian since I'm not... actively seeking out an nb person? Especially since some of the faab people who are attracted to only women stick with the term lesbian, or is this just a big no-no? (I think this made more sense in my head lol)



if you're attracted to i suppose, femme or dfab nb people, then using the term lesbian for yourself is probably fine. as a nb dfab i identify as panromantic *lesbian* because sexually i am solely attracted to girls or femme people. as long as you are careful to only refer to yourself as lesbian in your position and not assume the same for others than i'm sure it'a fine!


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Lady Timpani said:


> Since we're discussing the definitions of labels, a question:
> 
> Although I ID as a lesbian, I think I would be open to dating a non-binary person, should I develop feelings for a person that identifies as non-binary. I know there are nb people out there who label themselves as lesbians. Basically my question is, is it okay to still refer to myself as a lesbian since I'm not... actively seeking out an nb person? Especially since some of the faab people who are attracted to only women stick with the term lesbian, or is this just a big no-no? (I think this made more sense in my head lol)



I don't see the problem with identifying PRIMARILY as a lesbian. But I mean, you can say you're flexible, too.


----------



## Lady Timpani

katsuragi said:


> if you're attracted to i suppose, femme or dfab nb people, then using the term lesbian for yourself is probably fine. as a nb dfab i identify as panromantic *lesbian* because sexually i am solely attracted to girls or femme people. as long as you are careful to only refer to yourself as lesbian in your position and not assume the same for others than i'm sure it'a fine!



Yeah, I understand that there are bisexual identified people who like women and nb people. I think my problem is that I'm not particularly comfortable with calling myself bi (this isn't an insult to bi people, I just feel that the label doesn't fit me personally) and that, like I said, I don't exactly seek out non-binary people the way I do with women, if that makes any sense. I guess it'd be better to say that I am open to but not looking for a relationship with an nb person, should I ever develop feelings for them. 

But thanks! It's more helpful to discuss things like this with others, haha.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Revolver Ocelot said:


> I don't see the problem with identifying PRIMARILY as a lesbian. But I mean, you can say you're flexible, too.



I think this is what I was aiming to say, yes.


----------



## katsuragi

Lady Timpani said:


> Yeah, I understand that there are bisexual identified people who like women and nb people. I think my problem is that I'm not particularly comfortable with calling myself bi (this isn't an insult to bi people, I just feel that the label doesn't fit me personally) and that, like I said, I don't exactly seek out non-binary people the way I do with women, if that makes any sense. I guess it'd be better to say that I am open to but not looking for a relationship with an nb person, should I ever develop feelings for them.
> 
> But thanks! It's more helpful to discuss things like this with others, haha.



yeah i totally understand what you mean, i have a similar 'dilemma', for want of a better word, i guess i mainly prefer to not identify as bisexual because the general assumption (primary by heterosexual people) is that a bisexual likes just women and men. plus, it just doesn't quite fit me anyway.


----------



## Victor S Court

Izzy Reincarnated said:


> Girls can have short hair too. Society these days.



Really cool you say this because I guess this can be open for discussion too; anytime girls get their hair cut short people use lesbians as insults, which makes me really angry that they're being use as insults.


----------



## Bulbadragon

Victor S Court said:


> Really cool you say this because I guess this can be open for discussion too; anytime girls get their hair cut short people use lesbians as insults, which makes me really angry that they're being use as insults.


That's why I'm scared of getting my hair cut short. I live in a super homophobic area, and if you have a pixie cut you're considered a lesbian and if you're a lesbian people will probably hate you. I'm not a lesbian (I'm actually transgender and I hate my long hair) and I don't want anyone to suspect anything. Especially my mom. Just today she called a girl with a bob (not even a pixie cut) a lesbian, just because of her hair. And she's one of the most homophobic people I know. She laughed at a story she read online about people having a straight pride parade mocking gay pride.


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

Sexual labels are so overused and overrated. You don't need a label to define you. You are who are and who you like.


----------



## stumph

Izzy Reincarnated said:


> Sexual labels are so overused and overrated. You don't need a label to define you. You are who are and who you like.



I slightly agree with this. I hate to put a label on myself mainly because my sexuality is a bunch of "??????".


----------



## katsuragi

i came out properly to my mum today and it was weird, at least she's supportive and nothing is awkward between us! i just had to explain a lot about the lgbtqa+ community and non binary issues but it wasn't as bad as i thought it might be


----------



## stumph

katsuragi said:


> i came out properly to my mum today and it was weird, at least she's supportive and nothing is awkward between us! i just had to explain a lot about the lgbtqa+ community and non binary issues but it wasn't as bad as i thought it might be



congrats!


----------



## katsuragi

stumph said:


> congrats!



thank you!!


----------



## Lady Timpani

Bumping because I found a tutorial on how to make a binder from a camisole for the person who was asking, or anybody else who's looking for a cheap/discreet way to bind. 

If this doesn't work, I'll look into some other ways.


----------



## Murray

Victor S Court said:


> Really cool you say this because I guess this can be open for discussion too; anytime girls get their hair cut short people use lesbians as insults, which makes me really angry that they're being use as insults.



Hale Berry <3


----------



## ForkNayon

Victor S Court said:


> Really cool you say this because I guess this can be open for discussion too; anytime girls get their hair cut short people use lesbians as insults, which makes me really angry that they're being use as insults.



This. I'm surrounded by homophobes on a day to day basis, my father included, and once I went pixie, all hell broke loose. I go to a very high end Christian private school, and a few years ago every single one of my peers (even young kids and older students) were calling me a lesbian and creating rumors that me and my friend were gay. I didn't take offense to being called gay, (I am a straight female), but it did make me mad that they were throwing around LGBTQA terms as insults.

I met a younger girl at band camp a few days ago, (She's questioning her sexuality currently, and dealing with extremely strict and religious parents) and her mom almost had her block me on Facebook because of my short hair. Her reasoning? "She looks like a lesbian honey. I don't want you hanging out with those people." The girl even showed her mother PICTURES of me with my boyfriend, but it didn't do any good. But, once the mom in question found out that I cut my hair to support my mother who was going through chemo, she shut up and now wants to be my best friend and wants me to be a 'role model' for her daughter. Ridiculous.


----------



## Sir Takoya

ForkNayon said:


> This. I'm surrounded by homophobes on a day to day basis, my father included, and once I went pixie, all hell broke loose. I go to a very high end Christian private school, and a few years ago every single one of my peers (even young kids and older students) were calling me a lesbian and creating rumors that me and my friend were gay. I didn't take offense to being called gay, (I am a straight female), but it did make me mad that they were throwing around LGBTQA terms as insults.
> 
> I met a younger girl at band camp a few days ago, (She's questioning her sexuality currently, and dealing with extremely strict and religious parents) and her mom almost had her block me on Facebook because of my short hair. Her reasoning? "She looks like a lesbian honey. I don't want you hanging out with those people." The girl even showed her mother PICTURES of me with my boyfriend, but it didn't do any good. But, once the mom in question found out that I cut my hair to support my mother who was going through chemo, she shut up and now wants to be my best friend and wants me to be a 'role model' for her daughter. Ridiculous.



If they make fun of your hair and call you lesbian, then they're not really good at being Christians are they?


----------



## radical6

Lady Timpani said:


> Bumping because I found a tutorial on how to make a binder from a camisole for the person who was asking, or anybody else who's looking for a cheap/discreet way to bind.
> 
> If this doesn't work, I'll look into some other ways.



This is really helpful, thanks for the link.


----------



## ForkNayon

Sir Takoya said:


> If they make fun of your hair and call you lesbian, then they're not really good at being Christians are they?



That's the irony of going to a Christian school, my friend. Everyone here wants to believe they're blameless and doing what's "right for God," but then they turn around and judge other people and hate everyone who doesn't agree with their beliefs. (Which, ironically, goes against the Bible.)

Not that I'm grouping every single Christian on planet earth together, or trying to insult Christianity or religion in any way. I'm a Christian myself, but my views are drastically different than the other Christians I have met. I.E., supporting gay rights, ect.


----------



## Lady Timpani

tsundere said:


> This is really helpful, thanks for the link.



No problem. I've seen some bustier people comment that it works well with a sports bra, so if it doesn't get as flat as you'd like, I guess you can try that. I'll keep looking for some other methods, too.


----------



## Tinkalila

ForkNayon said:


> That's the irony of going to a Christian school, my friend. Everyone here wants to believe they're blameless and doing what's "right for God," but then they turn around and judge other people and hate everyone who doesn't agree with their beliefs. (Which, ironically, goes against the Bible.)
> 
> Not that I'm grouping every single Christian on planet earth together, or trying to insult Christianity or religion in any way. I'm a Christian myself, but my views are drastically different than the other Christians I have met. I.E., supporting gay rights, ect.



Okok I have a funny story about this.
So I went to catholic school for like 8 years.
And the only thing we were ever taught about the MOGAI community is that "You should respect everyone".
But I guess none of my classmates heard that because they all went on to be raging homophobes.
The end.


----------



## Siobhan

Lady Timpani said:


> Bumping because I found a tutorial on how to make a binder from a camisole for the person who was asking, or anybody else who's looking for a cheap/discreet way to bind.
> 
> If this doesn't work, I'll look into some other ways.


I just tried this (just came to terms with being a trans guy) and holy guacamole it works! Thank you so much for sharing!


----------



## Mercedes

ForkNayon said:


> Not that I'm grouping every single Christian on planet earth together, or trying to insult Christianity or religion in any way. *I'm a Christian myself, but my views are drastically different than the other Christians I have met. I.E., supporting gay rights, ect.*



I thought I was the only one.
---

Anyways I am really upset with my mother right now.

I told her I was bi.
She was like nah your not a "gay."
I said yea I am. 
She then asked me if some girls make me feel the way some guys do,
I was like yeah.
She was clam cool and acted like she did not care.
She told me not to act on those feeling for females
I wanted to tell at her and be like ***** I wanna love is love.
But I said suure mommy. 
Did I handle this correctly?? I am kinda feeling hurt..
Not to mention that I was talking to one of my BFFs the other day, saying if I was bi or lesbian would we still be friends?  She told me no. I thought I was going to cry. She asked me if I was just "messing" around I lied and said yes. I don't wanna lose my friends. {I asked all of them} but one of my other friends Maggie. Is bi herself. I have the biggest crush on her ; u ; she would be my only friend if I told them. I think it's best to live in a lie at this point..  What should I do..


----------



## a potato

Luckypinch said:


> I thought I was the only one.
> ---
> 
> Anyways I am really upset with my mother right now.
> 
> I told her I was bi.
> She was like nah your not a "gay."
> I said yea I am.
> She then asked me if some girls make me feel the way some guys do,
> I was like yeah.
> She was clam cool and acted like she did not care.
> She told me not to act on those feeling for females
> I wanted to tell at her and be like ***** I wanna love is love.
> But I said suure mommy.
> Did I handle this correctly?? I am kinda feeling hurt..
> Not to mention that I was talking to one of my BFFs the other day, saying if I was bi or lesbian would we still be friends?  She told me no. I thought I was going to cry. She asked me if I was just "messing" around I lied and said yes. I don't wanna lose my friends. {I asked all of them} but one of my other friends Maggie. Is bi herself. I have the biggest crush on her ; u ; she would be my only friend if I told them. I think it's best to live in a lie at this point..  What should I do..



I would be honest. It's not worth lying to satisfy others while you just feel guilty. There's no need to mask who you really are. 
If you ever need someone to talk to, PM me. This potato is always around to help.


----------



## ACNiko

To Luckypinch;

I can of course only speak for myself, but if my friends told me they had a problem with my sexuality (I'm also bi), I would just ask them to f*** off and never speak to them again. I haven't told anyone (except strangers online lol) about my sexuality, and I also fear that if I tell my closest friends, they might not accept it since they are pretty homophobic. I will probably tell them one day, and if they don't accept me for who I am, I will 'break up' with them.

Because if they don't accept you for who you are, are they really such good friends?


----------



## Sir Takoya

Luckypinch said:


> I thought I was the only one.
> ---
> 
> Anyways I am really upset with my mother right now.
> 
> I told her I was bi.
> She was like nah your not a "gay."
> I said yea I am.
> She then asked me if some girls make me feel the way some guys do,
> I was like yeah.
> She was clam cool and acted like she did not care.
> She told me not to act on those feeling for females
> I wanted to tell at her and be like ***** I wanna love is love.
> But I said suure mommy.
> Did I handle this correctly?? I am kinda feeling hurt..
> Not to mention that I was talking to one of my BFFs the other day, saying if I was bi or lesbian would we still be friends?  She told me no. I thought I was going to cry. She asked me if I was just "messing" around I lied and said yes. I don't wanna lose my friends. {I asked all of them} but one of my other friends Maggie. Is bi herself. I have the biggest crush on her ; u ; she would be my only friend if I told them. I think it's best to live in a lie at this point..  What should I do..



If they don't want to be friends with you because you're bi, then they're not your friends.


----------



## Clara Oswald

Sir Takoya said:


> If they don't want to be friends with you because you're bi, then they're not your friends.



I 100% agree! I'm lucky that my friends are supportive and understanding about things like this so I know if I ever choose to come out that I will be accepted. I don't plan on it though as I'm a secretive person and I prefer to face my problems alone which is kinda stupid but oh well. I would ask your bi friend for any tips on how to be accepted and you never know she may like you too


----------



## quinnator

im a transman B)


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

quinnator said:


> im a transman B)



What a coincidence - so am I.


----------



## Clara Oswald

I have a question:

Does being a transgender man mean the gender you were assigned at birth is male or is it that the gender you were assigned is female but you identify as male?
It's a stupid question I know and I hope I don't offend anyone or anything


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Uxie said:


> I have a question:
> 
> Does being a transgender man mean the gender you were assigned at birth is male or is it that the gender you were assigned is female but you identify as male?
> It's a stupid question I know and I hope I don't offend anyone or anything



The gender following "trans" is always the persons identity, so trans men were assigned female at birth.


----------



## Clara Oswald

Mephisto Pheles said:


> The gender following "trans" is always the persons identity, so trans men were assigned female at birth.



Ah thank you


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Uxie said:


> Ah thank you



Though you'll probably have to use your head on some occasions..

Most cis people still don't accept trans genders as legit, so when a DFAB person says that they're a man, cis people will still use "trans", but instead say "woman", because they have the belief that you're whatever you're assigned at birth. (this is especially true for trans women - I can pretty much guarantee you that if you ever hear someone talking about a "transgender man" on the News or in an article, 99% of the time they're actually referring to a trans _woman_ - they just refuse to see her as such)


----------



## Clara Oswald

Mephisto Pheles said:


> Though you'll probably have to use your head on some occasions..
> 
> Most cis people still don't accept trans genders as legit, so when a DFAB person says that they're a man, cis people will still use "trans", but instead say "woman", because they have the belief that you're whatever you're assigned at birth. (this is especially true for trans women - I can pretty much guarantee you that if you ever hear someone talking about a "transgender man" on the News or in an article, 99% of the time they're actually referring to a trans _woman_ - they just refuse to see her as such)



Ah ok, thank you for all the info, it was really helpful


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Uxie said:


> Ah ok, thank you for all the info, it was really helpful



You're welcome.


----------



## 4A-GZE

I personally believe that both gender and sexual orientation are social constructs and don't actually exist. Genitalia plays a role in physical attraction only as much as size, physique, race, and pretty much anything else, but we're taught that it's the most important thing and that it makes up two incredibly major parts of who we are. You might disagree with me, but I truly believe that we're all just humans who are just attracted to other humans, and no specific detail can make all of the difference.


----------



## radical6

How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"? 
I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

tsundere said:


> How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"?
> I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol



My opinion:

I don't think it's a real thing. Straight people have "straight privilege" over both gay and - as you put it - polysexual people, and heterosexual is a monosexual orientation. So it'd be pretty pointless to apply the term to straight people, because they're practically the same thing.

As for homosexual people... I've definitely seen a lot of "bisexuality isn't real - you're either gay or straight" coming from them, as well as believing in the stereotype that we're just attention seekers. (in addition to other B/P stereotypes)
So the G and L in LGBT+ definitely seem to have an issue with the B/P community.


I can see how someone can think G and L people have a privilege, though - after all, they don't have to deal with the stereotypes that come with being B/P. 
But then again, gay men don't have to deal with lesbian stereotypes, and vice versa for lesbian women - so does that mean L's have privilege over G's, and G's over L's?

In my opinion, the answer to that is "No". And the same goes for "monosexual privilege" - I don't believe it exists.


----------



## Lady Timpani

tsundere said:


> How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"?
> I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol



Yeah, I don't really agree with the whole concept of monosexual privilege. One of my biggest problems with it is that it further segregates queer people, especially bi/pan and lesbian women. I see a lot of lesbians say "all bi women are ____" and bi women say "lesbians are ____" instead of trying to be a community. Lesbians and gay men certainly have more visibility than bi/pan people, but I don't think that's a privilege, per se, especially when some of that visibility revolves around negative stereotypes and the like. 

I think another of my biggest pet peeves with monosexual privilege is that some straight people have taken to "calling out" gay people under the guise of them trying to fight monosexual privilege when they're really just harassing gay people for being gay.


----------



## remiaphasia

I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that there is such a thing as monosexual _privilege_, but there is a great deal of biphobia in the LGBT community that continually goes unaddressed, or is deemed unimportant by a lot of people. It can be tough to feel like you're a part of the community when you're harassed and ostracized by gay _and_ straight people alike, and this is the experience of many bisexual/pansexual people.


----------



## katsuragi

tsundere said:


> How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"?
> I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol



i don't think monosexuality is a privilege, gay (cisgender) men are often placed above lesbians and trans gay man in the sense of recognition and respect (for example, lesbian women are constantly related to fetishism) but that's an entirely different situation.

i guess the idea of monosexual privilege is something that further segregates the lgbtq+ community, and it's not really something that exists.


----------



## sylveons

yo, pansexual/genderfluid person here B)


----------



## Brackets

I'm just wondering - what do you guys thinking of 'coming out' as bisexual? I sort of want to do it but then again I'm not sure what the point is, unless I actually go out with a woman soon. I just think it might be a bit awkward/pointless if I come out, but then only happen to go out with men. Should I wait until I think I might date a girl soon? Or would it be better to fully tell people who I am? (I hope this makes sense)
Btw I've had two boyfriends but am recently single so I've been thinking about this more and more.


----------



## Mephisto Pheles

Annachie said:


> I'm just wondering - what do you guys thinking of 'coming out' as bisexual? I sort of want to do it but then again I'm not sure what the point is, unless I actually go out with a woman soon. I just think it might be a bit awkward/pointless if I come out, but then only happen to go out with men. Should I wait until I think I might date a girl soon? Or would it be better to fully tell people who I am? (I hope this makes sense)
> Btw I've had two boyfriends but am recently single so I've been thinking about this more and more.



If you feel like you want people to know, tell them. If not, don't - no one is obligated to be "out", so you should just do whatever you feel most comfortable with.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Annachie said:


> I'm just wondering - what do you guys thinking of 'coming out' as bisexual? I sort of want to do it but then again I'm not sure what the point is, unless I actually go out with a woman soon. I just think it might be a bit awkward/pointless if I come out, but then only happen to go out with men. Should I wait until I think I might date a girl soon? Or would it be better to fully tell people who I am? (I hope this makes sense)
> Btw I've had two boyfriends but am recently single so I've been thinking about this more and more.



I think, like Mephisto said, you should do whatever you want. Being bi doesn't depend on your dating a girl, so if you think people might discredit you because of that, you may want to avoid telling them. But if you feel like there are people that should know/ you would be more comfortable with them knowing, then I don't see any harm in telling them. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.


----------



## Gizmodo

My first day in education as a girl on thursday omfg, the fear
but ive been out in public loads over summer and passed without problem, so ill be hoping nothing bad happens  im so lucky to only  be 5'5 and petite xD


----------



## Mary

Gizmodo said:


> My first day in education as a girl on thursday omfg, the fear
> but ive been out in public loads over summer and passed without problem, so ill be hoping nothing bad happens  im so lucky to only  be 5'5 and petite xD



Best of luck to you!


----------



## Lady Timpani

Gizmodo said:


> My first day in education as a girl on thursday omfg, the fear
> but ive been out in public loads over summer and passed without problem, so ill be hoping nothing bad happens  im so lucky to only  be 5'5 and petite xD



Good luck!! I hope everything goes well for you. 

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, have any of you guys heard about this?


----------



## neko-loverx3

Lady Timpani said:


> Also, have any of you guys heard about this?



Ah yes thats amazing but I hope they don't get targeted to much ): 

Also any aro people on here??


----------



## Mary

This has probably been asked before, but here I go:

Those of you who are homosexual, how do you feel about the usage of "gay" as a derogatory term? Ex: "That movie was gay." "You're so gay!" 

I hear that all the time and it makes me bristle, and I was curious about how that affects you guys. 


-M


----------



## neko-loverx3

Mary said:


> This has probably been asked before, but here I go:
> 
> Those of you who are homosexual, how do you feel about the usage of "gay" as a derogatory term? Ex: "That movie was gay." "You're so gay!"
> 
> I hear that all the time and it makes me bristle, and I was curious about how that affects you guys.
> 
> 
> -M



For some reason hearing *** feels a lot worse? 
I don't know man, I have been called Gay to my face and when I respond 'yeah kinda so?' they always look really shocked then kinda hurt that they said that?? I think its a word people use without thinking about it now. People that use *** are just saying it for that 'you're Gay and disgusting' factor.

- - - Post Merge - - -

darn it uhhh f_g


----------



## Lady Timpani

neko-loverx3 said:


> For some reason hearing *** feels a lot worse?
> I don't know man, I have been called Gay to my face and when I respond 'yeah kinda so?' they always look really shocked then kinda hurt that they said that?? I think its a word people use without thinking about it now. People that use *** are just saying it for that 'you're Gay and disgusting' factor.
> 
> darn it uhhh f_g



Yeah, the f bomb tends to enrage me more mainly because of that stupid South Park episode that made people think it was okay to reclaim it, even if they're not gay. 

I mean, I don't like hearing people casually say "gay", but there are other things that are slurs that definitely make me wince more. Case in point: holier than thou ally laughing about "lesbos" and then turning around and saying he's not a homophobe. Or this straight girl on Facebook referring to her friends as fgts (which I guess she thinks is okay because a lot of them are queer).

But yeah. Don't really care much for either, but there are some that I find much more offensive.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Kind of surprised lesbos didn't get censored, but I guess I could always be talking about the island lol.


----------



## Bulbadragon

Mary said:


> This has probably been asked before, but here I go:
> 
> Those of you who are homosexual, how do you feel about the usage of "gay" as a derogatory term? Ex: "That movie was gay." "You're so gay!"
> 
> I hear that all the time and it makes me bristle, and I was curious about how that affects you guys.
> 
> 
> -M



I don't like it used in derogatory way. It's definitely not as bad as other derogatory LGBT+ terms, but it still ticks me off to hear homophobic people use it that way.

I think that it should be a synonym for fabulous (since a lot of people in the LGBT+ community kind of use it that way anyways). Like, you go to your favorite restaurant and eat your favorite thing and exclaim, "That meal was so freaking GAY!" and everyone knows how great your meal was.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gizmodo said:


> My first day in education as a girl on thursday omfg, the fear
> but ive been out in public loads over summer and passed without problem, so ill be hoping nothing bad happens  im so lucky to only  be 5'5 and petite xD


Good luck! I hope everything goes well for you.


----------



## drop

Does anyone else feel this awful selfhatred and jealousy from reading success stories?

I feel better surrounding myself with hateful people, so it's forced to the back of my mind. 
Having to think of it, or read others doing what I can't makes me want to die


----------



## ClaudiaDonovan

drop said:


> Does anyone else feel this awful selfhatred and jealousy from reading success stories?
> 
> I feel better surrounding myself with hateful people, so it's forced to the back of my mind.
> Having to think of it, or read others doing what I can't makes me want to die



What do you mean by success stories?


----------



## Angira

Hi there! My name is Angira and I'm agender ^_^ My parents are not a fan of trans beings and if they found out I was agender they would unfortunately kick me out. I have very loving supportive friends though! My friends just recently helped me get a binder! THey're great!


----------



## drop

ClaudiaDonovan said:


> What do you mean by success stories?



That trans(?) person above, being able to live how they want.
I'm too scared, and probably too far gone already


----------



## Angira

drop said:


> That trans(?) person above, being able to live how they want.
> I'm too scared, and probably too far gone already



Im not a success story....I cant tell you how many times I've cried just because no one would accept me. I only have two friends that do, and I live in constant fear of being kicked out....


----------



## Cam1

Ill put it out there right now. Im straight, but it enrages me to no end when people discriminate against you guys. It is stupid and completely breaks(for those in the USA) the constitution(the part about the pursuit of happiness). You guys cant chase your happiness without being made fun of by almost our whole straight community. Its so annoying.


----------



## drop

Angira said:


> Im not a success story....I cant tell you how many times I've cried just because no one would accept me. I only have two friends that do, and I live in constant fear of being kicked out....



Ah sorry! I was meaning the person above on the previous page 

♥


----------



## ClaudiaDonovan

I think all stories have the potential to be success stories. But none of our stories are over yet, if that makes sense? Don't forget that every story has ups and downs, it might be scary and upsetting and downright **** right now but that doesn't mean it won't get better. The stories you see as success stories could have been the most terrible story just a little while ago but you just have to keep going until you find the good part.


----------



## Angira

drop said:


> Ah sorry! I was meaning the person above on the previous page
> 
> ♥



Ah ok! ^_^

- - - Post Merge - - -



ClaudiaDonovan said:


> I think all stories have the potential to be success stories. But none of our stories are over yet, if that makes sense? Don't forget that every story has ups and downs, it might be scary and upsetting and downright **** right now but that doesn't mean it won't get better. The stories you see as success stories could have been the most terrible story just a little while ago but you just have to keep going until you find the good part.



Good point!!! It will get better in time I hope!


----------



## Lady Timpani

Angira said:


> Hi there! My name is Angira and I'm agender ^_^ My parents are not a fan of trans beings and if they found out I was agender they would unfortunately kick me out. I have very loving supportive friends though! My friends just recently helped me get a binder! THey're great!



Hi! I'm sorry about your situation, but it's good to know that you have cool friends who can help you out. Hopefully you'll be able to be financially independent or go to college where you can be open about who you are (which is what I'm hoping for for next year).


----------



## Bulbadragon

Hi, I'm Felix, I'm a pansexual, transgender guy who's so deep in the closet I should be in Narnia. I'm super scared to ask my mom if I can cut my hair short. My parents are super LGBTphobic and they associate girls with a combo of short hair/no makeup (which would be me if I got my hair cut short) as being lesbians. I don't have a problem with that, but they'd probably think I was a lesbian and ask me all kinds of uncomfortable questions. I don't want them getting suspicious about me being pansexual or trans, mostly because I'd be scared that they'd kick me out or force me to go to church at every given chance and schedule meeting with a preacher or something. 
I also can't get a binder because while I have money on a Visa gift card thingy that I could buy it with, I have nowhere to ship it. I can't ship it to my house because they'd want to know what it is, and I'd probably get in trouble for buying it. I can't get a PO box because it'd be the same as if I shipped it here. I don't know of any friends whose address I could use because none of them know I'm trans and I'm not ready to tell them yet. Anybody have any tips for either scenario?


----------



## Lady Timpani

I'm not trans, but I do know of several homemade binders that may help you in your situation. You could also ask a trusted adult if they would maybe let you ship the binder to their house, but that may be kind of awkward or frowned upon, depending on who you ask. I'll look for the post that has the homemade binder on it. 

Also, I'm sorry about your situation.  It really sucks. Hopefully you'll be able to move out/ go to college far away sooner rather than later.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Lady Timpani said:


> Bumping because I found a tutorial on how to make a binder from a camisole for the person who was asking, or anybody else who's looking for a cheap/discreet way to bind.
> 
> If this doesn't work, I'll look into some other ways.



Found it! Hopefully that works for you. o:


----------



## Bulbadragon

Lady Timpani said:


> I'm not trans, but I do know of several homemade binders that may help you in your situation. You could also ask a trusted adult if they would maybe let you ship the binder to their house, but that may be kind of awkward or frowned upon, depending on who you ask. I'll look for the post that has the homemade binder on it.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry about your situation.  It really sucks. Hopefully you'll be able to move out/ go to college far away sooner rather than later.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Found it! Hopefully that works for you. o:



Thank you so much! I'd never seen that method before. Hopefully that will work. I do plan on going to college a few hours away, which will hopefully let me start my transition.


----------



## Gizmodo

drop said:


> Ah sorry! I was meaning the person above on the previous page
> 
> ♥



Trust me its not a successs story yet; life is still a batttle and im dreading tomorrow


----------



## Farobi

Gizmodo said:


> Trust me its not a successs story yet; life is still a batttle and im dreading tomorrow



I wish you luck my friend! 

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also one of my cousins just came out


----------



## unravel

Farobi said:


> I wish you luck my friend!
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also one of my cousins just came out



What are you talking about?


----------



## Brackets

Now that I'm single, I'm coming out this year at uni  (as bisexual) 
nervous!


----------



## TheBluRaichu

Annachie said:


> Now that I'm single, I'm coming out this year at uni  (as bisexual)
> nervous!



Good luck


----------



## radical6

my teachers refer to me as justice instead of my birthname :^)


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Those of you with parents who are not accepting of your gender/sexuality I really feel for you because it's something I went through too. My parents used to say gay people go to hell, fags are disgusting, etc... Thankfully they eventually came to accept me for who I am, although it was not until the time came for me to move out to go to college. When I was a teenager I thought once I moved out I would never want to talk to them again. I'm glad they accept me now and that I can have a good relationship with them. I hope that your parents can learn to understand someday as mine did. Sometimes it is possible for people to change. And sometimes it takes a lot of time.



Mary said:


> This has probably been asked before, but here I go:
> 
> Those of you who are homosexual, how do you feel about the usage of "gay" as a derogatory term? Ex: "That movie was gay." "You're so gay!"
> 
> I hear that all the time and it makes me bristle, and I was curious about how that affects you guys.
> 
> 
> -M


When I hear people use the word gay in that way it makes me really disappointed because in most cases they are not homophobic people, they just don't understand how associating the word gay with negative things spreads homophobia and hurts peoples feelings. Or they do know and just don't care which is even worse. It just makes me sad. If someone I'm hanging out with uses the word gay negatively I explain to them why I don't like it and ask them to stop.


----------



## (ciel)

neko-loverx3 said:


> Ah yes thats amazing but I hope they don't get targeted to much ):
> 
> Also any aro people on here??



From a few pages back, but I'm ace/aro (and also leaning towards agender...I identified as trans before I even knew what ace/aro was, but I feel the least comfortable coming out with that. So I'm just me. But I have gone out not even trying to pass as male and have gotten called sir, and that made me feel better than I thought it would...)

But anyway. I'm ace/aro, and I've come out to a few friends about it. They were really understanding, which I thought was great especially since, of all of them, ace/aro is definitely the most...unknown? I do still find people (of all genders, orientations, what have you) aesthetically attractive, though.


----------



## radical6

totally forgot about curriculum night and my teachers will refer to me with my preferred name and my mom will probably rage if she hears it

rip me


----------



## Lady Timpani

justice said:


> totally forgot about curriculum night and my teachers will refer to me with my preferred name and my mom will probably rage if she hears it
> 
> rip me



I'm guessing curriculum night is kind of like open house night (or whatever, I haven't done it since like elementary school)? I guess there's no chance that you can quickly let your teachers know, so I hope everything goes well for you. I had a friend in the same situation last night, and it didn't go over very well with her parents. Still, maybe you'll get lucky and your teachers won't call you by name.


----------



## radical6

Lady Timpani said:


> I'm guessing curriculum night is kind of like open house night (or whatever, I haven't done it since like elementary school)? I guess there's no chance that you can quickly let your teachers know, so I hope everything goes well for you. I had a friend in the same situation last night, and it didn't go over very well with her parents. Still, maybe you'll get lucky and your teachers won't call you by name.



Yeah, they talk to the teacher and stuff. Only 3 of my 5 teachers use my preferred name though. (Because the other 2 I had last year so IDK how to tell them..). One of the teachers said it will be fine and that she won't refer to anyone, but I couldn't get a chance to talk to the other 2. I'm paranoid they'll slip. I hid the paper from my mom mostly because I don't want her to go. But if she already knows about it then ugh.


----------



## Lady Timpani

justice said:


> Yeah, they talk to the teacher and stuff. Only 3 of my 5 teachers use my preferred name though. (Because the other 2 I had last year so IDK how to tell them..). One of the teachers said it will be fine and that she won't refer to anyone, but I couldn't get a chance to talk to the other 2. I'm paranoid they'll slip. I hid the paper from my mom mostly because I don't want her to go. But if she already knows about it then ugh.



That really sucks.  I'm guessing it's tonight (sorry, I keep guessing lol), so that's the main issue. Do you go with your mom? You could leave her with one of your teachers (preferably one of the ones that either doesn't call you by your preferred name or the one that already knows your situation) and go on to tell the others what's up. Other than that, the only thing I can think of is emailing them, but there's no guarantee they'll check their emails before it starts.


----------



## Gizmodo

Sixth form is fab, no-one knows i'm trans, no-one can tell, and it just feels fab to finally be the gender i am, making new friends and just ahh


----------



## (ciel)

Gizmodo said:


> Sixth form is fab, no-one knows i'm trans, no-one can tell, and it just feels fab to finally be the gender i am, making new friends and just ahh



That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you 


My college has a club/support group that's just for LGBT+ students, and I said my preferred pronouns out loud for the first time last night, and it just felt so good. I was really scared that I wouldn't be able to be myself here, especially since this is a (sort of) religious school, but I'm so happy that isn't the case.


----------



## SmokeyB

(Bi guy here) What is "Q" in LGBTQA?


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

SmokeyB said:


> (Bi guy here) What is "Q" in LGBTQA?


"Queer" or "Questioning" depending on who you ask.


----------



## f11

I heard some people saying some homophobic stuff at school; almost got in a fight.


----------



## radical6

Hana-Nezumi said:


> "Queer" or "Questioning" depending on who you ask.



It could stand for both if its LGBTQIAQ or something like that.

- - - Post Merge - - -



C r y s t a l said:


> I heard some people saying some homophobic stuff at school; almost got in a fight.



I'm used to hearing transphobic things, but if it's among my friends then I get pretty angry lol


----------



## Stevey Queen

I told my dad I'm gay for the second time. He's ignorant. He says why I just don't go bang my cute coworkers instead of some guys furry butt? He also gave me some "facts" about how gay people always turn to drug usage.

At least he didn't rage on for two whole days like last time.


----------



## TheBluRaichu

LoveMcQueen said:


> I told my dad I'm gay for the second time. He's ignorant. He says why I just don't go bang my cute coworkers instead of some guys furry butt? He also gave me some "facts" about how gay people always turn to drug usage.
> 
> At least he didn't rage on for two whole days like last time.


Yeah dads tend to be less accepting about homosexuality unfortunately, sorry this happened.


----------



## (ciel)

LoveMcQueen said:


> I told my dad I'm gay for the second time. He's ignorant. He says why I just don't go bang my cute coworkers instead of some guys furry butt? He also gave me some "facts" about how gay people always turn to drug usage.
> 
> At least he didn't rage on for two whole days like last time.



((Personally I think any gay people who turn to drugs do it because they don't get support where they need it, but))

But it's good that there wasn't so much rage. I hope things get better for you <3


----------



## tamagotchi

"Don't worry, Ness, It's just a phase."

Um no dad, I don't think that's how it works.


----------



## Stevey Queen

TheBluRaichu said:


> Yeah dads tend to be less accepting about homosexuality unfortunately, sorry this happened.



Thank you. I never understood why it's such a big deal. 



(ciel) said:


> ((Personally I think any gay people who turn to drugs do it because they don't get support where they need it, but))
> 
> But it's good that there wasn't so much rage. I hope things get better for you <3



Thank you too. I don't think someone's sexuality should be a factor of why they do drugs. I guess it could be but it shouldn't.



RetroT said:


> "Don't worry, Ness, It's just a phase."
> 
> Um no dad, I don't think that's how it works.



The first time I came out he was angry. A few weeks later he asked if I liked girls yet. I just said yes and I don't know why I did. I guess I didn't want things to be awkward.


----------



## radical6

This cute girl I share most of my classes with told me she was Bi... Well she probably doesn't know what NB people are but I have a chance omg. =O

She told me many people at my school are Bi or Lesbian, I mean I knew there were some but I thought it was just a few. Came up with an idea to start a LGBT club and it got approved so idk? I don't think there are any trans students, or asexual. But excited =)


----------



## TheBluRaichu

justice said:


> This cute girl I share most of my classes with told me she was Bi... Well she probably doesn't know what NB people are but I have a chance omg. =O
> 
> She told me many people at my school are Bi or Lesbian, I mean I knew there were some but I thought it was just a few. Came up with an idea to start a LGBT club and it got approved so idk? I don't think there are any trans students, or asexual. But excited =)


I'm glad to hear! Wish there were more at my school. Probably a lot hiding though, it's not exactly an accepting community in general


----------



## (ciel)

justice said:


> This cute girl I share most of my classes with told me she was Bi... Well she probably doesn't know what NB people are but I have a chance omg. =O
> 
> She told me many people at my school are Bi or Lesbian, I mean I knew there were some but I thought it was just a few. Came up with an idea to start a LGBT club and it got approved so idk? I don't think there are any trans students, or asexual. But excited =)



Awesome that you got an LGBT club! (and about the cute girl lol)

There were a surprising amount of LGBT kids in my school...I realised near the end of high school that quite a few of my friends fit in there somehow...like more than average. Unless we just all kind of subconsciously flocked together lol. I didn't think there were any trans students, though, and as far as I knew, I was the only asexual.


----------



## Jake

LoveMcQueen said:


> I told my dad I'm gay for the second time. He's ignorant. He says why I just don't go bang my cute coworkers instead of some guys furry butt? He also gave me some "facts" about how gay people always turn to drug usage.
> 
> At least he didn't rage on for two whole days like last time.



Tell him all the guys you've banged had smooth, hairless butts xo that will show him, and then say your coworkers have heroes and refuse safe sex so if you do it she'll get preggo
Then tell him to bang a giraffe at the zoo to make sure he's not sexually attracted to them
Then go google a list of straight celebrities who did drugs and give him that

Then tell him "facts" about straight people


----------



## TheBluRaichu

Jake all of your posts bewilder me.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Still better advice than I give


----------



## Stevey Queen

justice said:


> This cute girl I share most of my classes with told me she was Bi... Well she probably doesn't know what NB people are but I have a chance omg. =O
> 
> She told me many people at my school are Bi or Lesbian, I mean I knew there were some but I thought it was just a few. Came up with an idea to start a LGBT club and it got approved so idk? I don't think there are any trans students, or asexual. But excited =)



There's a LGBT club at my old high school and my college (the college doesn't have many members for some reason) you should definitely go for it. It will be awesome



Jake. said:


> Tell him all the guys you've banged had smooth, hairless butts xo that will show him, and then say your coworkers have heroes and refuse safe sex so if you do it she'll get preggo
> Then tell him to bang a giraffe at the zoo to make sure he's not sexually attracted to them
> Then go google a list of straight celebrities who did drugs and give him that
> 
> Then tell him "facts" about straight people



This is great advice. I will do these things. Thank you babe


----------



## Motte

I don't have any opposing thoughts on being with cis, trans, or whatever gender identity people recognize themselves as; I like all genders and sexes & don't want to erase anyone's identity in the process of saying what I label myself as. I hesitate to label myself as bisexual or pansexual, I feel like I'm both. While I find some self-labeled bisexuals are strictly attracted to cis males & cis females, I know others don't conform to binaries and recognize it as 'an attraction to my gender & not my gender.'


----------



## Jaebeommie

I'm a cis heterosexual female, but you can identify as anything you want and I'd be okay with it. I love everyone and I think no matter what you're all awesome people. Except if you're rude. Then I'd have a problem with you. 

But yes. Nothing but love for the LGBTQA community here <3


----------



## Frjck

Motte said:


> I don't have any opposing thoughts on being with cis, trans, or whatever gender identity people recognize themselves as; I like all genders and sexes & don't want to erase anyone's identity in the process of saying what I label myself as. I hesitate to label myself as bisexual or pansexual, I feel like I'm both. While I find some self-labeled bisexuals are strictly attracted to cis males & cis females, I know others don't conform to binaries and recognize it as 'an attraction to my gender & not my gender.'



I have the exact feeling! I am aesthetically and romantically attracted all genders and sexes but sexual attraction is what gets me 0-0 I am swaying between heteroflexible and homosexual. That makes me pan-romantic and heteroflexible/homosexual? Idk it is reallt hard for me to truly determine it. Plus I am still closeted for thinking of even coming out to my family is scary. My friends may be fine, but I know for certain most of my family is homophobic and very against LGBT*QIA. :/ But now that I have openly accepted myself as non heterosexual gave me a big boost of confidence on the inside c: I remember the first dew years I was confused and angry, but I am happy I passed that period of my life


----------



## gpiggy2

Why are pansexuals never included in the label?


----------



## Squirtle Squad

I'll love you no matter what you consider yourself as. I have no negative opinions towards the LGBTQA community. And I'm always interested in learning more because sometimes I don't understand certain things entirely. It sort of bugs me how there are close minded people that aren't willing to learn more about things like this.


----------



## gpiggy2

Squirtle Squad said:


> I'll love you no matter what you consider yourself as. I have no negative opinions towards the LGBTQA community. And I'm always interested in learning more because sometimes I don't understand certain things entirely. It sort of bugs me how there are close minded people that aren't willing to learn more about things like this.



I agree.


----------



## (ciel)

gpiggy2 said:


> Why are pansexuals never included in the label?



Probably because it gets too long. I'm asexual and I rarely include myself just because it's easier just to say LGBT. There needs to be a shorter label that's all inclusive.


----------



## ClaudiaDonovan

A few of my friends prefer to say that they're "on the spectrum" instead of lgbtqia what do you guys think?


----------



## Stevey Queen

ClaudiaDonovan said:


> A few of my friends prefer to say that they're "on the spectrum" instead of lgbtqia what do you guys think?



If the two mean the same then yah that's fine. Sounds better then pronouncing lgbt


----------



## ClaudiaDonovan

Well I'm gay and I'm happy just saying that but I know that some of my friends aren't sure exactly where they fall on the spectrum but just saying they are on it works for them which I think comes with less pressure than a specific label


----------



## SmokeyB

Jaebeommie said:


> I'm a cis heterosexual female, but you can identify as anything you want and I'd be okay with it. I love everyone and I think no matter what you're all awesome people. Except if you're rude. Then I'd have a problem with you.
> 
> But yes. Nothing but love for the LGBTQA community here <3



Everyone deserves equal treatment c:

Or, treat people how you wanna be treated  that's my fav quote


----------



## (ciel)

ClaudiaDonovan said:


> A few of my friends prefer to say that they're "on the spectrum" instead of lgbtqia what do you guys think?



Haha, I really like it! It sounds really cool...almost kind of mysterious "I'm ~on the spectrum~". And it seems pretty perfect, since a spectrum can include whatever without the initialism being like 60 letters long.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Squirtle Squad said:


> I'll love you no matter what you consider yourself as. I have no negative opinions towards the LGBTQA community. And I'm always interested in learning more because sometimes I don't understand certain things entirely. It sort of bugs me how there are close minded people that aren't willing to learn more about things like this.



If you've got any questions, feel free to ask  It's great when people do their best to understand, even though asking can sometimes feel odd. Better than being ignorant, imo.


----------



## radical6

gpiggy2 said:


> Why are pansexuals never included in the label?



I like to say LGBTQIAPIP+ though most people don't remember the term. I think pan and poly people are under the Q, but yeah it sucks were not on the main label


----------



## (ciel)

Okay so I knew I'd seen it before, but I just found it again now:

Some people use MOGAI, which is Marginalised Orientations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex. It's all inclusive, and is much easier to say and remember.

I dunno. I like it, but I don't think too many people use it, so then I'd have to explain.


----------



## remiaphasia

Pansexuality falls under the umbrella of bisexuality, so it _is_ in the label. And if we included every single label in existence it'd be longer than the alphabet.


----------



## g u a v a

(ciel) said:


> Okay so I knew I'd seen it before, but I just found it again now:
> 
> Some people use MOGAI, which is Marginalised Orientations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex. It's all inclusive, and is much easier to say and remember.
> 
> I dunno. I like it, but I don't think too many people use it, so then I'd have to explain.



Some people are also working towards using queer as an empowering all-encapsulating term for people who are LGBTQ+.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Mayor Leaf said:


> Some people are also working towards using queer as an empowering all-encapsulating term for people who are LGBTQ+.



I don't think that would work. Queer has two definitions

1. Weird, which could be taken offensively

2. Gay, which only covers the homosexuals

- - - Post Merge - - -

We should just call the lgbt community the GLOW people. Gay, Lesbian or Whatever. That way everything is covered without having to add letters and it's easy to pronounce and it's cute.

I guess the Whatever sounds harsh-ish though


----------



## remiaphasia

LoveMcQueen said:


> I don't think that would work. Queer has two definitions
> 
> 1. Weird, which could be taken offensively
> 
> 2. Gay, which only covers the homosexuals
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> We should just call the lgbt community the GLOW people. Gay, Lesbian or Whatever. That way everything is covered without having to add letters and it's easy to pronounce and it's cute.
> 
> I guess the Whatever sounds harsh-ish though



Wait wait, so you take issue with the word "queer" because of it's former negative connotation, but support calling intersex, trans, bi/pan, genderqueer, and asexual persons "or whatever"? lol come now.

Also, queer doesn't only mean gay. It's a wide all encompassing political identity that's adopted by many people no matter where they fall on the spectrum.

Edit: I'm not attacking you or anything, was just saying xD


----------



## g u a v a

remiaphasia said:


> Wait wait, so you take issue with the word "queer" because of it's former negative connotation, but support calling intersex, trans, bi/pan, genderqueer, and asexual persons "or whatever"? lol come now.
> 
> Also, queer doesn't only mean gay. It's a wide all encompassing political identity that's adopted by many people no matter where they fall on the spectrum.
> 
> Edit: I'm not attacking you or anything, was just saying xD



Yeah, definitely. I think that queer has definitely been used as a slur in the past against gay people, but the whole movement of pushing queer as a positive word includes people who are not hetero-normative. Therefore, I think it's all encapsulating. 

The whole reason of reclaiming queer is that essentially when an individual identifies as queer they are effectively saying "hey, yes, I am weird but that's okay"


----------



## remiaphasia

Mayor Leaf said:


> Yeah, definitely. I think that queer has definitely been used as a slur in the past against gay people, but the whole movement of pushing queer as a positive word includes people who are not hetero-normative. Therefore, I think it's all encapsulating.
> 
> The whole reason of reclaiming queer is that essentially when an individual identifies as queer they are effectively saying "hey, yes, I am weird but that's okay"



Yes! This many times over.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Mayor Leaf said:


> Yeah, definitely. I think that queer has definitely been used as a slur in the past against gay people, but the whole movement of pushing queer as a positive word includes people who are not hetero-normative. Therefore, I think it's all encapsulating.
> 
> The whole reason of reclaiming queer is that essentially when an individual identifies as queer they are effectively saying "hey, yes, I am weird but that's okay"


Some people don't want to be seen as weird for their sexual orientation or gender. They want to be seen as normal and be accepted. In that sense I think using a word like queer may actually do more harm that good for LGBT+ acceptance because it further reinforces the notion that we're inherently different and strange. Also the problem with "reclaiming" words that used to be negative is that for some people it will always still hold that negative weight no matter how many people want to change it, as long as there are those still around who were greatly hurt by the word in the past.

That said, I don't have a problem with people identifying as "queer" if they want to... but it makes me a little uncomfortable when people try to use it as a broad term for people of various orientations, leading to terms like "queer youths" "queer politics" expanding it to include people who might not have wanted to choose that word for themselves.


----------



## Stevey Queen

remiaphasia said:


> Wait wait, so you take issue with the word "queer" because of it's former negative connotation, but support calling intersex, trans, bi/pan, genderqueer, and asexual persons "or whatever"? lol come now.
> 
> Also, queer doesn't only mean gay. It's a wide all encompassing political identity that's adopted by many people no matter where they fall on the spectrum.
> 
> Edit: I'm not attacking you or anything, was just saying xD



It's fine. I know the whatever sounds rude.

But queer isn't Better . People have called the lgbt community weird and unnatural all the time. And that's the true definition of the word queer. So adopting it as a label for all of us is not the way to go. We are suppose to be proving to people that we are normal just like them.

You can be weird personality wise but our sexualities and gender identities shouldn't be treated as "queer". They are normal and the world needs to understand that.


----------



## SmokeyB

I've heard queer as a slur too mostly.


----------



## gpiggy2

remiaphasia said:


> Pansexuality falls under the umbrella of bisexuality, so it _is_ in the label. And if we included every single label in existence it'd be longer than the alphabet.



In my opinion it doesn't.


----------



## (ciel)

LoveMcQueen said:


> It's fine. I know the whatever sounds rude.
> 
> But queer isn't Better . People have called the lgbt community weird and unnatural all the time. And that's the true definition of the word queer. So adopting it as a label for all of us is not the way to go. We are suppose to be proving to people that we are normal just like them.
> 
> You can be weird personality wise but our sexualities and gender identities shouldn't be treated as "queer". They are normal and the world needs to understand that.



This is my problem with using "queer" as the all encompassing term- some people just aren't comfortable with it. I personally don't mind it, but I tend not to use it unless I know the person I'm talking to is okay with it.


----------



## Gizmodo

LoveMcQueen said:


> It's fine. I know the whatever sounds rude.
> 
> But queer isn't Better . People have called the lgbt community weird and unnatural all the time. And that's the true definition of the word queer. So adopting it as a label for all of us is not the way to go. We are suppose to be proving to people that we are normal just like them.
> 
> You can be weird personality wise but our sexualities and gender identities shouldn't be treated as "queer". They are normal and the world needs to understand that.



This.


----------



## Lady Timpani

I've noticed a big disconnect among members of the community over this issue. While a lot of the people I know accept queer as a self-identifier, some of them hesitate to use queer as a catch all because of its history as a slur. I'm not really on one side or the other, but I do tend to use queer as opposed to LGBT+. I know others are pushing for MOGAI, but I think it's probably better to use a term that most people are familiar with, and MOGAI isn't catching on as much as its supporters would hope. LGBT is already used, and queer is gaining momentum, from what I've seen.


----------



## Yuki Nagato

I've never heard the word 'queer' as a posititve word in the UK. Whether or not there is a charity trying to promote it doesn't matter: it's offensive. No gay person calls themself a queer.


----------



## g u a v a

I just feel that by continuing to view queer as a word that is hurtful and ostracizing, it's only further oppressing queer/LGBT+ people.

The way I see it is that by allowing myself to be hurt by the word queer I'm giving more power to the people who want to keep me oppressed. And also, when I decide to celebrate being called queer, I'm just celebrating that I am different, because according to the people who utilize queer as a slur, I am, and by celebrating that I'm empowering myself. But that's just me.


----------



## CR33P

wait queer is an insult?
i normally think of it as
"he seems a little queer to me."


----------



## g u a v a

CR33P said:


> wait queer is an insult?
> i normally think of it as
> "he seems a little queer to me."



It's a semi-commonly used slur against gay/LGBT+ people.


----------



## Yuki Nagato

Mayor Leaf said:


> I just feel that by continuing to view queer as a word that is hurtful and ostracizing, it's only further oppressing queer/LGBT+ people.
> 
> The way I see it is that by allowing myself to be hurt by the word queer I'm giving more power to the people who want to keep me oppressed. And also, when I decide to celebrate being called queer, I'm just celebrating that I am different, because according to the people who utilize queer as a slur, I am, and by celebrating that I'm empowering myself. But that's just me.



How about the word faqqot, then? Why not see that as a good thing if you're going to see queer as one?


----------



## g u a v a

Yuki Nagato said:


> How about the word faqqot, then? Why not see that as a good thing if you're going to see queer as one?



I think the same rules apply to the word faqqot, and it's actually a movement for gay men to reclaim that slur as well. I've seen many instances of *** being used positively one of them being within the indie music industry. 

Personally I apply the same mentality to queer, however I am aware that that particular slur is a bit more sensitive due to the ways it impacts queer people throughout the world.


----------



## Chris

Yuki Nagato said:


> I've never heard the word 'queer' as a posititve word in the UK. Whether or not there is a charity trying to promote it doesn't matter: it's offensive. No gay person calls themself a queer.



The usage of "queer" in the UK has various informal definitions that can be used in the same sentence, but express entirely different meanings based on the intent/context - so that's not surprising you wouldn't acknowledge it as a positive term. Offline I actually most frequently hear the word "queer" in situations completely unrelated to sexuality (e.g. to express something being odd, or feeling out of sorts), yet they are all grammatically correct usages of the word. 

Also, in response to your final sentence: there _are _people who define themselves as queer.


----------



## Yuki Nagato

Tina said:


> The usage of "queer" in the UK has various informal definitions that can be used in the same sentence, but express entirely different meanings based on the intent/context - so that's not surprising you wouldn't acknowledge it as a positive term. Offline I actually most frequently hear the word "queer" in situations completely unrelated to sexuality (e.g. to express something being odd, or feeling out of sorts), yet they are all grammatically correct usages of the word.
> 
> Also, in response to your final sentence: there _are _people who define themselves as queer.



The majority in the UK do not refer to themselves as queer: everyone here knows that.

Officially a word can have more than one meaning but for queer the traditional term is rarely to never used unless by the elderly. By elderly I mean like 90 year olds.


----------



## oath2order

Yuki Nagato said:


> The majority in the UK do not refer to themselves as queer: everyone here knows that.
> 
> Officially a word can have more than one meaning but for queer the traditional term is rarely to never used unless by the elderly. By elderly I mean like 90 year olds.



Pretty sure Tina knows what she's talking about given that she lives in the UK


----------



## Brackets

I'm in the UK and have never heard people call themselves queer (and I'm part of the uni LGBT community)


----------



## Chris

Yuki Nagato said:


> The* majority in the UK* do not refer to themselves as queer: everyone here knows that.



I never said that they do.




Yuki Nagato said:


> Officially a word can have more than one meaning but for queer the traditional term is rarely to never used unless by the elderly. By elderly I mean like 90 year olds.



Your sentence doesn't really make much sense, but I think I know what you're trying to say here. If you're trying to say that the term "queer" isn't used often and is only used in different contexts by the elderly then this is false: as I've already stated, I personally hear it frequently in everyday speech and the oldest people I communicate with are my folks, and they're 42 - that's not even half of 90!


----------



## (ciel)

The fact is that some people view queer as a derogatory term (how many, and where, and how old doesn't matter), and it isn't up to anyone but the person to determine how they should feel about it. I think it's fine to use it, but, especially if you're addressing a person directly as queer, you need to be sure they're okay with that term being used in reference to them.


----------



## g u a v a

(ciel) said:


> The fact is that some people view queer as a derogatory term (how many, and where, and how old doesn't matter), and it isn't up to anyone but the person to determine how they should feel about it. I think it's fine to use it, but, especially if you're addressing a person directly as queer, you need to be sure they're okay with that term being used in reference to them.



Yeah, I wasn't trying to make you identify as something you don't feel comfortable with. I was simply stating a different point of view to sort of vocalize how others may view it. :>


----------



## oath2order

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transparent_(TV_series)

interest


----------



## radical6

oh the q word discussion. brought it up a while ago.
but yeah, do NOT call the whole community that. just say non het. the q word can be used as a slur, can be reclaimed, or someone can identify with it. plain and simple. i hear more often in a positive way and was shocked when i heard someone use it in a negative way for once irl because i dont hear that often but yeah, its def used more as a slur in certain places. (ex: the south in the US)

also interesting tv show


----------



## g u a v a

justice said:


> oh the q word discussion. brought it up a while ago.
> but yeah, do NOT call the whole community that. just say non het. the q word can be used as a slur, can be reclaimed, or someone can identify with it. plain and simple. i hear more often in a positive way and was shocked when i heard someone use it in a negative way for once irl because i dont hear that often but yeah, its def used more as a slur in certain places. (ex: the south in the US)
> 
> also interesting tv show



I really don't think it's that necessary to emphasize that you shouldn't refer to it as such. If I say that I'm a queer person, I'm saying I identify with the queer community. And also non-het is just as offensive and ostracizing as queer. Honestly any term you use is going to offend someone, but generally I try to not tell people to not refer to something a certain way. It just seems that everyone should be allowed to identify with what they wish and should use the language they want when speaking about a community they feel attached to, unless explicitly told by someone that they feel uncomfortable with that term.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

I feel like 'queer' is something you should make up your own mind on whether you feel comfortable with it or not. But you should definitely NOT apply it to people you don't know, or a certain subset of people and think it's okay because one of your friends is fine with it, you know what I mean? Like- 

"My friend Robin identifies as queer and they don't make a big deal about it! I don't see why you're so upset when I call you that! Jeez!"


----------



## g u a v a

Liquid Ocelot said:


> I feel like 'queer' is something you should make up your own mind on whether you feel comfortable with it or not. But you should definitely NOT apply it to people you don't know, or a certain subset of people and think it's okay because one of your friends is fine with it, you know what I mean? Like-
> 
> "My friend Robin identifies as queer and they don't make a big deal about it! I don't see why you're so upset when I call you that! Jeez!"



But idk, personally by identifying as queer I feel as though I'm a part of the queer community, since queerness goes so much further beyond just sexuality. So saying that I'm queer is just my way of identifying with the community. And if someone else thinks that it's inadequate to be labeled as the queer community then I'd say they were LGBT+, which is fine and everything but definitely I don't think that dismissing the queer community is necessary solely by the past impact of the world.

If anything the LGBT+ & queer communities almost seem to exist simultaneously in my mind, based on the mixed response on the thread. Which makes sense if people feel uncomfortable.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

I think I'm just saying that there's nothing wrong with identifying as queer, but it's okay to not want to be called that as well. 

Besides, I think 'queer' covers more than just sexuality- like you said, it covers a range of expression. I wouldn't be upset if someone called me that, but it's really not- my preference.


----------



## g u a v a

Liquid Ocelot said:


> I think I'm just saying that there's nothing wrong with identifying as queer, but it's okay to not want to be called that as well.
> 
> Besides, I think 'queer' covers more than just sexuality- like you said, it covers a range of expression. I wouldn't be upset if someone called me that, but it's really not- my preference.



Yeah, I just wanted to put it out there that like, there is a queer community and that telling people not to use that term just feels like discrediting the existence of the queer community.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

Nah, I feel you. It just shouldn't be a blanket term for 'people who aren't heterosexual'.


----------



## Lady Timpani

I think another issue with queer that Ocelot sort of mentioned (unless I'm misinterpreting) is that it's become a politicized word, and there are people who feel uncomfortable with their own sexualities and gender identities being referred to as such, but they still accept others' rights to do so. 

Really interesting discussion, though. It was nice to hear people's viewpoints on the usage of the word.


----------



## radical6

Mayor Leaf said:


> I really don't think it's that necessary to emphasize that you shouldn't refer to it as such. If I say that I'm a queer person, I'm saying I identify with the queer community. And also non-het is just as offensive and ostracizing as queer. Honestly any term you use is going to offend someone, but generally I try to not tell people to not refer to something a certain way. It just seems that everyone should be allowed to identify with what they wish and should use the language they want when speaking about a community they feel attached to, unless explicitly told by someone that they feel uncomfortable with that term.



Well lets say you want to talk about everyone who isn't straight basically, there's not really a good term to use. I prefer to use "everyone who isn't straight" I guess, which is why I used non het. (Non Het is a shortened way of me saying that but I can see how people can take offense) but there comes to times where sometimes you need to address this specific part of the community - how will you do it? You can't say the LGBT community in general if you didn't mean the trans people, the asexual people, the romantic minority people, etc. You really only mean the sexuality section tbh, so it comes to a point where sometimes we need to find a term that isnt offensive but can accurately get the message across.


----------



## g u a v a

justice said:


> Well lets say you want to talk about everyone who isn't straight basically, there's not really a good term to use. I prefer to use "everyone who isn't straight" I guess, which is why I used non het. (Non Het is a shortened way of me saying that but I can see how people can take offense) but there comes to times where sometimes you need to address this specific part of the community - how will you do it? You can't say the LGBT community in general if you didn't mean the trans people, the asexual people, the romantic minority people, etc. You really only mean the sexuality section tbh, so it comes to a point where sometimes we need to find a term that isnt offensive but can accurately get the message across.



Yeah, I see what you mean. As I said before I use queer as an umbrella term for basically people who just don't abide by societal expectations which is why I think non-het was a bit off putting, since queer could include heterosexual people who challenge societal norms of what a heterosexuality looks like.


----------



## remiaphasia

Mayor Leaf said:


> Yeah, I see what you mean. As I said before I use queer as an umbrella term for basically people who just don't abide by societal expectations which is why I think non-het was a bit off putting, since queer could include heterosexual people who challenge societal norms of what a heterosexuality looks like.



Queer can absolutely including heterosexual people. 

I think what a lot of people in this discussion can forget is that just because a person is heterosexual or cisgender, that doesn't necessarily mean that they've ever benefited from heterosexism or cis privilege. And even if they have, but *understand and recognize* their privileged position, they should absolutely be able to adopt the queer socio-political-ideological label.


----------



## g u a v a

remiaphasia said:


> Queer can absolutely including heterosexual people.
> 
> I think what a lot of people in this discussion can forget is that just because a person is heterosexual or cisgender, that doesn't necessarily mean that they've ever benefited from heterosexism or cis privilege. And even if they have, but *understand and recognize* their privileged position, they should absolutely be able to adopt the queer socio-political-ideological label.



Definitely. And as you said it requires a true understanding of their privileged position in order for them to act on it and renounce it.


----------



## KarlaKGB

can we kill this ****ing idea of privilege? like why do we shame "privileged" people who have it good in life? is it a race to the bottom?


----------



## g u a v a

KarlaKGB said:


> can we kill this ****ing idea of privilege? like why do we shame "privileged" people who have it good in life? is it a race to the bottom?



Er, no it's not a race to the bottom, but it's in an attempt to promote equity so that people aren't placed into disadvantageous positions in life with no chance of getting out simply because of systems in our society. 

I respectfully suggest that you look into the concept of privilege before commenting on anything with regards to that subject.


----------



## KarlaKGB

What is a privileged position then?


----------



## g u a v a

KarlaKGB said:


> What is a privileged position then?



Privilege essentially refers to an invisible set of advantages that are given to you based on your membership to a specific social group. Within U.S. society, the "ideal" human is a white, cis-gendered, heterosexual, middle-aged man and this is reinforced by the institutions (large organizations which are predominantly made up of the aforementioned) that place people of these social identities at an advantage from let's say a young genderqueer gay person of color. 

This is only really the tip of the iceberg of privilege because 1: I personally don't feel fit to explain all of the issues surrounding privilege and social justice to you and 2: it just isn't pertinent to the discussion in this thread.


----------



## KarlaKGB

Exactly, the idea of privilege is irrelevant hence why it needs to die in this thread. And die in general. Nobody should have to feel bad because they are "privileged".


----------



## (ciel)

KarlaKGB said:


> Exactly, the idea of privilege is irrelevant hence why it needs to die in this thread. And die in general. Nobody should have to feel bad because they are "privileged".



But privilege is relevant to LGBT+ issues. People under the LGBT+ umbrella are still discriminated, shamed, abused, etc. just because of who they are. I don't think anyone should feel bad because of a privilege they have, I just think that they shouldn't abuse that privilege, and they should know there are people who get treated differently because they don't have the same privilege. Some people seem to be blissfully ignorant of their own privilege and see the world as equal already.

Regardless of the way you feel about how "privilege" is being discussed (and yeah, I do think people get way out of hand with it), there's no denying there are people in this world who are treated better than others solely because of the colour of their skin or their sexual preference or gender. People with privilege shouldn't feel bad, they should just use it as a platform to gain a better understanding of the world, which everyone should try to do anyway.


----------



## g u a v a

KarlaKGB said:


> Exactly, the idea of privilege is irrelevant hence why it needs to die in this thread. And die in general. Nobody should have to feel bad because they are "privileged".



It is relevant to LGBT+/queer issues overall, but it's not pertinent to the purpose of this thread. Privilege can die when everyone has become aware of it and actively resigns unfair advantages.



(ciel) said:


> But privilege is relevant to LGBT+ issues. People under the LGBT+ umbrella are still discriminated, shamed, abused, etc. just because of who they are. I don't think anyone should feel bad because of a privilege they have, I just think that they shouldn't abuse that privilege, and they should know there are people who get treated differently because they don't have the same privilege. Some people seem to be blissfully ignorant of their own privilege and see the world as equal already.
> 
> Regardless of the way you feel about how "privilege" is being discussed (and yeah, I do think people get way out of hand with it), there's no denying there are people in this world who are treated better than others solely because of the colour of their skin or their sexual preference or gender. People with privilege shouldn't feel bad, they should just use it as a platform to gain a better understanding of the world, which everyone should try to do anyway.



Couldn't have put it better myself~


----------



## KarlaKGB

(ciel) said:


> People with privilege shouldn't feel bad, they should just use it as a platform to gain a better understanding of the world, which everyone should try to do anyway.



so u basically recognise that it has nothing to do with privilege, u just prefer to single out privileged people


----------



## Yuki Nagato

Tina said:


> I never said that they do.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Your sentence doesn't really make much sense, but I think I know what you're trying to say here. If you're trying to say that the term "queer" isn't used often and is only used in different contexts by the elderly then this is false: as I've already stated, I personally hear it frequently in everyday speech and the oldest people I communicate with are my folks, and they're 42 - that's not even half of 90!



I don't know where you live but it can't be The UK, or at least Anglia. It's just a word you don't use over here: I'm not really seeing why you need to attack me for telling you that the phrase simply isn't acceptable over here despite campaigns to make it so (but then again no one has even heard of them).


----------



## (ciel)

KarlaKGB said:


> so u basically recognise that it has nothing to do with privilege, u just prefer to single out privileged people



No, it does have to do with privilege. In a lot of cases, privileged people don't realise what they have, or why someone else might not be able to do something, or why someone might be uncomfortable with something. I'm not really using privilege in the context of like "check your privilege >: (" Just kind of a gentle reminder that not everyone has the same advantages as other people, and people with advantages need to realise that and help work to correct it. 

I don't agree with people who say things like "well if you're straight you should feel bad about yourself" or that sort of "privilege" stuff. That's not right. I guess I'm just using the word with a less harsh connotation then it's usually seen on the internet.



But anyway. 
Yesterday was Bisexual Awareness day, and I saw a lot about it online. So that's good 
I know there's an Asexual Awareness week (I think the end of Oct/beginning of Nov?)...are there any other days?


----------



## SmokeyB

> I don't agree with people who say things like "well if you're straight you should feel bad about yourself" or that sort of "privilege" stuff. That's not right.



People who do that are _*******s _regardless of what they are, I don't give a ****. No one should put others down for something they can't help, ever.


----------



## Jinglefruit

Yuki Nagato said:


> The majority in the UK do not refer to themselves as queer: everyone here knows that.





Yuki Nagato said:


> I don't know where you live but it can't be The UK, or at least Anglia. It's just a word you don't use over here: I'm not really seeing why you need to attack me for telling you that the phrase simply isn't acceptable over here despite campaigns to make it so (but then again no one has even heard of them).




A majority of the UK don't refer to themselves as queer, no, but there is a huge and ever growing 'queer scene' in East London at the moment. So much so that many places around there are labelling themselves queer friendly and hold 'queer nights' instead of saying Gay/LGBT.


----------



## Chris

Yuki Nagato said:


> I don't know where you live but it can't be The UK, or at least Anglia. It's just a word you don't use over here: I'm not really seeing why you need to attack me for telling you that the phrase simply isn't acceptable over here despite campaigns to make it so (but then again no one has even heard of them).



No, I never attacked you. My post was even intended to back you up. All I did was explain that the word "queer" is more likely to have even more deeply rooted negative connotations here in the UK than abroad due to the fact it has various usages (not all related to sexuality), all of which are perceived as negative. This was a theory about _why_ the the word could be mostly perceived as negative in the UK: in that all other usages of the word are also negative, which could further emphasise the negative impact when use in this instance.

Instead of either accepting or politely debating the theory, you are instead passing it off as "an attack" and repeatedly implying that I think the word queer in relation to sexuality is acceptable in the UK when I never said anything of the sort. 

For the record I do live in the UK, yes - and I have done for over 20 years.


----------



## g u a v a

KarlaKGB said:


> so u basically recognise that it has nothing to do with privilege, u just prefer to single out privileged people



The thing that you're not understanding is that it is not pertinent to this thread. It's 100% related to LGBT+/queer communities due to the impacts that sexism/heterosexism have on queer people. But, it just seems like you are dead-set on your idea that privilege is irrelevant and doesn't affect anyone and that people who are born into good circumstances were just "lucky" and not at all the result of a messed up societal system; so I'll stop trying.

:>


----------



## KarlaKGB

Tina said:


> No, I never attacked you. My post was even intended to back you up. All I did was explain that the word "queer" is more likely to have even more deeply rooted negative connotations here in the UK than abroad due to the fact it has various usages (not all related to sexuality), all of which are perceived as negative. This was a theory about _why_ the the word could be mostly perceived as negative in the UK: in that all other usages of the word are also negative, which could further emphasise the negative impact when use in this instance.
> 
> Instead of either accepting or politely debating the theory, you are instead passing it off as "an attack" and repeatedly implying that I think the word queer in relation to sexuality is acceptable in the UK when I never said anything of the sort.
> 
> For the record I do live in the UK, yes - and I have done for over 20 years.


dude before u talk u need to evaluate ur privilege. it is a privilege that ur not illiterate and can understand basic sentences. others rnt so privileged. lemme do it for u because i love u (no hetero)

*ways in which ur privileged*

ur white
ur allistic (not autistic) i think
ur dydically sexed (not intersexed)
ur physically able (ur sight, hearing and body are more or less what medical establishments say are normal)
english is ur first language
u wer born in uk so u have western privilege
ur not easily marked as another religion (u dont wear hijab for exampl nor r u brown)
ur tbt moderator

*ways in which ur disprivileged*

u r woman
ur student and therefor poor

*other things worth mentioning*

ur kinky
ur smart as ur iq is above average and u go to university

ok i hope u feel guilty like u should


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Can we _not_?


----------



## Chris

KarlaKGB said:


> dude before u talk u need to evaluate ur privilege. it is a privilege that ur not illiterate and can understand basic sentences. others rnt so privileged. lemme do it for u because i love u (no hetero)
> 
> <snipped 100% accurate information>
> 
> ok i hope u feel guilty like u should



My sides hurt so goddamn much. You know me so well. Marry me. I'll promise to never look at another man, woman, or frying pan ever again.


----------



## samsquared

hey i hope im not interrupting, but i have question?


Spoiler: not for the kiddos



So, I don't have any attraction to women when they're sexualised by themselves. I feel... really nothing for them on their lonesome. But I can be aroused by lesbian porn. Not as much as regular porn, but I don't know why it is that I can enjoy two women enjoying each other to any capacity when I am almost disgusted by vaginas. Any suggestions?

Perhaps I'm just a voyeur in the nth degree/ I totally get off watching happy people having sex by experiencing it vicariously
omg aiyaah thats it isnt it


----------



## Lady Timpani

LanceTheTurtle said:


> hey i hope im not interrupting, but i have question?
> 
> 
> Spoiler: not for the kiddos
> 
> 
> 
> So, I don't have any attraction to women when they're sexualised by themselves. I feel... really nothing for them on their lonesome. But I can be aroused by lesbian porn. Not as much as regular porn, but I don't know why it is that I can enjoy two women enjoying each other to any capacity when I am almost disgusted by vaginas. Any suggestions?
> 
> Perhaps I'm just a voyeur in the nth degree/ I totally get off watching happy people having sex by experiencing it vicariously
> omg aiyaah thats it isnt it



Okay, well



Spoiler: probably also not for the kiddos



A lot of people I've talked to have said that what you watch doesn't dictate your sexuality; I know many lesbians who like watching M/M stuff because it seems much more real than lesbian or even straight variations, among other reasons. Really, it could be because the women are enjoying themselves? If you're not attracted to women ordinarily, I'd say it's probably what you said: you just enjoy watching women enjoy themselves.


----------



## samsquared

Lady Timpani said:


> Okay, well
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: probably also not for the kiddos
> 
> 
> 
> A lot of people I've talked to have said that what you watch doesn't dictate your sexuality; I know many lesbians who like watching M/M stuff because it seems much more real than lesbian or even straight variations, among other reasons. Really, it could be because the women are enjoying themselves? If you're not attracted to women ordinarily, I'd say it's probably what you said: you just enjoy watching women enjoy themselves.





Spoiler:  you guessed it, kids, this isn't for you~



Well, that's probably true: I have a hard time believing that most furries would like to stick themselves inside of a real animal, and yet they get off to animalistic versions of people. I think perhaps the same logic applies. (Not that I'm comparing people to animals in any capacity!) Just because one facet of the sex turns you off does not necessarily entail complete repulsion. *nod*
lol I wonder if this might completely dissipate when I lose my virginity.


----------



## fang

Hello real gay thread. i'm a real gay and trans person >


----------



## Maverick

Hello people i am asexual and like romantic stuff with anyone; polyromantic.


----------



## Mango

Spoiler: read pls



[7/19/2014 1:18:16 PM] Mango: im ****ing single
[7/19/2014 1:18:21 PM] Mango: does that matter
[7/19/2014 1:19:01 PM] King Vendrick: Eww
[7/19/2014 1:19:08 PM] King Vendrick: Why would you want a gril f
[7/19/2014 1:19:32 PM] Mango: im panromantic
[7/19/2014 1:19:41 PM] Mango: so it doesnt matter who i date
[7/19/2014 1:19:48 PM] Mango: to put it simply
[7/19/2014 1:19:53 PM] King Vendrick: I don't know what that means
[7/19/2014 1:19:58 PM] King Vendrick: Are you really confused
[7/19/2014 1:20:07 PM] Mango: im romantically attracted to humans in general
[7/19/2014 1:20:12 PM] King Vendrick: Did i **** up your sexuality by ruining your childhood?
[7/19/2014 1:20:20 PM] Mango: omg is this srs
[7/19/2014 1:20:31 PM] Mango: r we srsly talkong about this
[7/19/2014 1:20:36 PM] King Vendrick: Yeah
[7/19/2014 1:20:38 PM] King Vendrick: Lol
[7/19/2014 1:20:42 PM] King Vendrick: Yes we are.
[7/19/2014 1:20:52 PM] Mango: can you please give me a detailed reason on why you dont like gays?
[7/19/2014 1:21:00 PM] Mango: a detailed one
[7/19/2014 1:21:18 PM] King Vendrick: Did I say i don't like gays?
[7/19/2014 1:21:24 PM] King Vendrick: No
[7/19/2014 1:21:31 PM] King Vendrick: When you first talked to me in a while
[7/19/2014 1:21:32 PM] Mango: well, why you dont lile the pictures.
[7/19/2014 1:21:52 PM] King Vendrick: You said do you support gays
[7/19/2014 1:21:57 PM] King Vendrick: I said "I guess"
[7/19/2014 1:21:58 PM] Mango: i do
[7/19/2014 1:22:07 PM] King Vendrick: Because I don't like seeing people kissing
[7/19/2014 1:22:13 PM] Mango: im actually a semi gay myself
[7/19/2014 1:22:18 PM] King Vendrick: When theyre gay
[7/19/2014 1:22:23 PM] King Vendrick: Oh God
[7/19/2014 1:22:24 PM] King Vendrick: No
[7/19/2014 1:22:29 PM] King Vendrick: If you like gay people kissing
[7/19/2014 1:22:35 PM] King Vendrick: Its natural ur a gorl
[7/19/2014 1:22:37 PM] Mango: why do you not like it?
[7/19/2014 1:22:45 PM] King Vendrick: I like lesbo porn cause I'm a gut
[7/19/2014 1:22:48 PM] King Vendrick: *guy
[7/19/2014 1:22:54 PM] Mango: can i have a detailed as **** reason on it?
[7/19/2014 1:22:55 PM] King Vendrick: because I'm not gay.
[7/19/2014 1:23:35 PM] Mango: im gonna remove you as a contact, add me when you are mature enough to see two people of the same sex kissing
[7/19/2014 1:23:52 PM] King Vendrick: Ok, bye.



[7/19/2014 1:20:12 PM] King Vendrick: Did i **** up your sexuality by ruining your childhood?



Spoiler: H;JGHJGHJFHG



[7/19/2014 1:22:37 PM] Mango: why do you not like it?
*[7/19/2014 1:22:45 PM] King Vendrick: I like lesbo porn cause I'm a gut
[7/19/2014 1:22:48 PM] King Vendrick: *guy*



DSDFHAFDDSFHFG THT GETS ME SO PISSED OFF
CAN YOU HELP  ME


----------



## neko-loverx3

LanceTheTurtle said:


> Spoiler:  you guessed it, kids, this isn't for you~
> 
> 
> 
> Well, that's probably true: I have a hard time believing that most furries would like to stick themselves inside of a real animal, and yet they get off to animalistic versions of people. I think perhaps the same logic applies. (Not that I'm comparing people to animals in any capacity!) Just because one facet of the sex turns you off does not necessarily entail complete repulsion. *nod*
> lol I wonder if this might completely dissipate when I lose my virginity.





Spoiler: well if we're on this topic then I have a question, Not for you kiddos (;



So you mentioned virginity. Would two girls doing the do equal loss of virginity if only fingers was used? Like I feel to lose your virginity you need to have a guy to stick it.. idk I've asked my friends are we're all like ???? so maybe you'll be able to help lol. 
Idk then we could get in the idea if giving/receiving a blow job would be considered loss of virginity ugh idfk help this whole idea of virginity confuses me. It is such a heterosexual based idea loll


----------



## tamagotchi

My literal conversation with someone:

_"Wait!, are you male or female?,, cause she is a female right?"_

"I'm a female, and she is also a female."

_"Well,, then i can tell you right now,, that is not love, at least not real love,, its most likely a strong desire... Of course two woman can love each other,, but the true love that completes and connects to beings in order to become one, like two pieces coming together, can only happen between a real man and a real woman,, and this is so rare to witness that even heteroseaxuals couples fail at loving each other.."_

"tbh, I think you sound pretty ****ing moronic right now."


----------



## oranges_ate_you

is anyone in this thread even gay? last time i looked in here it was straight women fighting.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

neko-loverx3 said:


> Spoiler: well if we're on this topic then I have a question, Not for you kiddos (;
> 
> 
> 
> So you mentioned virginity. Would two girls doing the do equal loss of virginity if only fingers was used? Like I feel to lose your virginity you need to have a guy to stick it.. idk I've asked my friends are we're all like ???? so maybe you'll be able to help lol.
> Idk then we could get in the idea if giving/receiving a blow job would be considered loss of virginity ugh idfk help this whole idea of virginity confuses me. It is such a heterosexual based idea loll





Spoiler



The concept of virginity is different to different people. Some people will say it needs to be vaginal, that oral doesn't count, etc... I think that's silly though. To me it doesn't really make sense to call yourself a virgin if you've done any kind of sexual activity. Which activity it is doesn't matter.





oranges_ate_you said:


> is anyone in this thread even gay? last time i looked in here it was straight women fighting.


Uh yes I'm gay.



RetroT said:


> My literal conversation with someone:
> 
> _"Wait!, are you male or female?,, cause she is a female right?"_
> 
> "I'm a female, and she is also a female."
> 
> _"Well,, then i can tell you right now,, that is not love, at least not real love,, its most likely a strong desire... Of course two woman can love each other,, but the true love that completes and connects to beings in order to become one, like two pieces coming together, can only happen between a real man and a real woman,, and this is so rare to witness that even heteroseaxuals couples fail at loving each other.."_
> 
> "tbh, I think you sound pretty ****ing moronic right now."


Wow, what a load.


----------



## neko-loverx3

oranges_ate_you said:


> is anyone in this thread even gay? last time i looked in here it was straight women fighting.



What even are you talking about. 

Also yeah I agree Hana-nezumi. Thanks for the reply


----------



## radical6

Mango said:


> Spoiler: read pls
> 
> 
> 
> [7/19/2014 1:18:16 PM] Mango: im ****ing single
> [7/19/2014 1:18:21 PM] Mango: does that matter
> [7/19/2014 1:19:01 PM] King Vendrick: Eww
> [7/19/2014 1:19:08 PM] King Vendrick: Why would you want a gril f
> [7/19/2014 1:19:32 PM] Mango: im panromantic
> [7/19/2014 1:19:41 PM] Mango: so it doesnt matter who i date
> [7/19/2014 1:19:48 PM] Mango: to put it simply
> [7/19/2014 1:19:53 PM] King Vendrick: I don't know what that means
> [7/19/2014 1:19:58 PM] King Vendrick: Are you really confused
> [7/19/2014 1:20:07 PM] Mango: im romantically attracted to humans in general
> [7/19/2014 1:20:12 PM] King Vendrick: Did i **** up your sexuality by ruining your childhood?
> [7/19/2014 1:20:20 PM] Mango: omg is this srs
> [7/19/2014 1:20:31 PM] Mango: r we srsly talkong about this
> [7/19/2014 1:20:36 PM] King Vendrick: Yeah
> [7/19/2014 1:20:38 PM] King Vendrick: Lol
> [7/19/2014 1:20:42 PM] King Vendrick: Yes we are.
> [7/19/2014 1:20:52 PM] Mango: can you please give me a detailed reason on why you dont like gays?
> [7/19/2014 1:21:00 PM] Mango: a detailed one
> [7/19/2014 1:21:18 PM] King Vendrick: Did I say i don't like gays?
> [7/19/2014 1:21:24 PM] King Vendrick: No
> [7/19/2014 1:21:31 PM] King Vendrick: When you first talked to me in a while
> [7/19/2014 1:21:32 PM] Mango: well, why you dont lile the pictures.
> [7/19/2014 1:21:52 PM] King Vendrick: You said do you support gays
> [7/19/2014 1:21:57 PM] King Vendrick: I said "I guess"
> [7/19/2014 1:21:58 PM] Mango: i do
> [7/19/2014 1:22:07 PM] King Vendrick: Because I don't like seeing people kissing
> [7/19/2014 1:22:13 PM] Mango: im actually a semi gay myself
> [7/19/2014 1:22:18 PM] King Vendrick: When theyre gay
> [7/19/2014 1:22:23 PM] King Vendrick: Oh God
> [7/19/2014 1:22:24 PM] King Vendrick: No
> [7/19/2014 1:22:29 PM] King Vendrick: If you like gay people kissing
> [7/19/2014 1:22:35 PM] King Vendrick: Its natural ur a gorl
> [7/19/2014 1:22:37 PM] Mango: why do you not like it?
> [7/19/2014 1:22:45 PM] King Vendrick: I like lesbo porn cause I'm a gut
> [7/19/2014 1:22:48 PM] King Vendrick: *guy
> [7/19/2014 1:22:54 PM] Mango: can i have a detailed as **** reason on it?
> [7/19/2014 1:22:55 PM] King Vendrick: because I'm not gay.
> [7/19/2014 1:23:35 PM] Mango: im gonna remove you as a contact, add me when you are mature enough to see two people of the same sex kissing
> [7/19/2014 1:23:52 PM] King Vendrick: Ok, bye.
> 
> 
> 
> [7/19/2014 1:20:12 PM] King Vendrick: Did i **** up your sexuality by ruining your childhood?
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: H;JGHJGHJFHG
> 
> 
> 
> [7/19/2014 1:22:37 PM] Mango: why do you not like it?
> *[7/19/2014 1:22:45 PM] King Vendrick: I like lesbo porn cause I'm a gut
> [7/19/2014 1:22:48 PM] King Vendrick: *guy*
> 
> 
> 
> DSDFHAFDDSFHFG THT GETS ME SO PISSED OFF
> CAN YOU HELP  ME



ew whoever that is is a loser


----------



## Stevey Queen

oranges_ate_you said:


> is anyone in this thread even gay? last time i looked in here it was straight women fighting.



There all kinds of people in this thread


----------



## Alice

Small trigger warning for transgendered individuals: 



Spoiler












have you guys seen this disgusting ad posted in the star tribune?

What are your thoughts?


----------



## TheBluRaichu

I'm not transgender

But it hella pisses me off. There is a solid line between sex and gender. If you are a Girl born with Male parts then in my book you are a Girl. And the other way around. It absolutely disgusts me when I see things like this ad.


----------



## Beachland

Can someone give me some advice here?

I'm a bisexual female and nobody knows, not any of my family or friends. I really don't think my family would react to it well, they pretend that they're okay with the lgbtqa community but I think they would look down on me if they knew I was bi. Since I'm living with my parents and brother at least for the next 11 months I don't want to cause tension. And my extended family is worse, the other day my uncle said "I'm not homophobic, but I wouldn't want to hang out with a gay person" (that sounds pretty homophobic to me!) Should I tell them or not?


----------



## (ciel)

Beachland said:


> Can someone give me some advice here?
> 
> I'm a bisexual female and nobody knows, not any of my family or friends. I really don't think my family would react to it well, they pretend that they're okay with the lgbtqa community but I think they would look down on me if they knew I was bi. Since I'm living with my parents and brother at least for the next 11 months I don't want to cause tension. And my extended family is worse, the other day my uncle said "I'm not homophobic, but I wouldn't want to hang out with a gay person" (that sounds pretty homophobic to me!) Should I tell them or not?



Even if you feel ready to come out, if you're not sure you'd be safe or comfortable after you do so, I wouldn't suggest it. Maybe after you're after that environment, but I wouldn't before.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Alice said:


> Small trigger warning for transgendered individuals:
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> have you guys seen this disgusting ad posted in the star tribune?
> 
> What are your thoughts?



Yeah, this pisses me off. It targets trans people, while saying nothing about what it means to be a trans person. And it's perpetuating the idea that anyone in the lgbt community is a predator. It's simply disgusting, and the mindset that needs to stop.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Beachland said:


> Can someone give me some advice here?
> 
> I'm a bisexual female and nobody knows, not any of my family or friends. I really don't think my family would react to it well, they pretend that they're okay with the lgbtqa community but I think they would look down on me if they knew I was bi. Since I'm living with my parents and brother at least for the next 11 months I don't want to cause tension. And my extended family is worse, the other day my uncle said "I'm not homophobic, but I wouldn't want to hang out with a gay person" (that sounds pretty homophobic to me!) Should I tell them or not?


Only you can tell if the atmosphere is really right for it. I think if you're planning to move out in about a year then maybe it would be better to say it now, so that they have more time to accept the fact and come to terms with it. But it depends on how negatively you think they'll react. If they have very strong objections to it, such as religious ones, and can't get over it, then it might make the next year pretty difficult.


----------



## Crucifigo

Oh hey awesome, a LGBTQIA+ thread. I'm aromantic asexual and genderfluid/agender. That's a lot of A-words, I'm glad to see some other ace people around here. My parents don't have a clue I'm not straight or a woman, but I like it that way. Too hard to explain it all, too much hassle and worry. I noticed apparently most people in the UK don't use the term 'queer', didn't know that. Then again I'm not exactly surrounded by other queer people unfortunately. All we have here is gay bars, which is great and all 'cause I've heard people there have a great time, but I'm not the kind of person who goes to nightclubs.


----------



## Stevey Queen

My dad saw my giant rainbow flag in my room and said. "Your not really On this path of destruction, are you?"


----------



## Jinglefruit

LoveMcQueen said:


> My dad saw my giant rainbow flag in my room and said. "Your not really On this path of destruction, are you?"






I'm not sure your dad has very good association skills. 

He'll come round eventually. My dad did, and I only had to tell him about 7 times across 2 years. <_<; And if he doesn't come round, maybe point out to him that;

1) He didn't chose to be straight (and if he did then I've got news for him).
2) It's your life (and your genitals) and you're entitled to do what you want with it (them), doesn't affect him in the slightest.


----------



## radical6

Okay so I mentioned to my teacher on starting a LGBTQIA club. They wanted to call it a GSA but I refused. Anyway, I was kinda shocked after my geometry class because my teachers were spreading around a meeting at a college for LGBTQIA. Cool I guess but no one in my class really paid attention.


----------



## Beachland

justice said:


> Okay so I mentioned to my teacher on starting a LGBTQIA club. They wanted to call it a GSA but I refused.



Ugh, that's annoying. Because you know that if they call it a GSA then 90% of the people who join will be straight, cisgender people who like to pat themselves on the back for being accepting :/


----------



## radical6

Beachland said:


> Ugh, that's annoying. Because you know that if they call it a GSA then 90% of the people who join will be straight, cisgender people who like to pat themselves on the back for being accepting :/



I mostly don't like the term "GSA" because it leaves everyone else out. Not to mention my teacher was like "if we call it LGBT then people might get a bad reaction.. they'll think _ oh it's THOSE people..._" I'm like excuse me? Are you saying that because you think people will dislike the transgender side? Or anyone on the ace spectrum? I was basically like wtf when I heard that.


----------



## DarkOnyx

I'm bi,and I'm not sure if I should tell my family or not..My uncle is gay afterall,and he got married to a cool funny guy.


----------



## g u a v a

mini-rant/ramble coming up



Spoiler



Gah. So, I personally identify as being genderqueer but more often than not I'm addressed as a male. Everything from the greeters at the stores, people working the register and so on, I'm always addressed as a male and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. 

The thing is that the way I look feels completely comfortable to myself and could be taken as expressing "masculinity" (whatever that even means tbh) but idk I just wish everyone would be addressed in a gender-neutral manner until otherwise stated :\. Like, I shouldn't have to express my genderqueerness in a certain way because the thing is that genderqueer people can express however they like and it still not either/or.



aksdjngkjsndg im stressed


----------



## oath2order

Mayor Leaf said:


> mini-rant/ramble coming up
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Gah. So, I personally identify as being genderqueer but more often than not I'm addressed as a male. Everything from the greeters at the stores, people working the register and so on, I'm always addressed as a male and it makes me feel really uncomfortable.
> 
> The thing is that the way I look feels completely comfortable to myself and could be taken as expressing "masculinity" (whatever that even means tbh) but idk I just wish everyone would be addressed in a gender-neutral manner until otherwise stated :\. Like, I shouldn't have to express my genderqueerness in a certain way because the thing is that genderqueer people can express however they like and it still not either/or.
> 
> 
> 
> aksdjngkjsndg im stressed



I have to ask what you expect people to address you as


----------



## g u a v a

oath2order said:


> I have to ask what you expect people to address you as



Just a person with no definite gender. People often ask me: "if you don't want people to call you sir/ma'am, then what can we say?" and the thing is that you don't have to say anything. If you're greeting someone all you really need to say is "Good day," there is really no need for the gendered language at all.


----------



## Chris

justice said:


> I mostly don't like the term "GSA" because it leaves everyone else out. Not to mention my teacher was like "if we call it LGBT then people might get a bad reaction.. they'll think _ oh it's THOSE people..._" I'm like excuse me? Are you saying that because you think people will dislike the transgender side? Or anyone on the ace spectrum? I was basically like wtf when I heard that.



Look at it from a different angle.

GSA the letter the most emphasis should be on is the *A*: it's there to emphasise and encourage people to communicate with each other. Schools want to encourage people to support each other regardless of differences - not to single them out. There is also the option there to attend without necessarily feeling pressured to come out either. It's the more welcoming, less heavy, of the two options.


----------



## radical6

Tina said:


> Look at it from a different angle.
> 
> GSA the letter the most emphasis should be on is the *A*: it's there to emphasise and encourage people to communicate with each other. Schools want to encourage people to support each other regardless of differences - not to single them out. There is also the option there to attend without necessarily feeling pressured to come out either. It's the more welcoming, less heavy, of the two options.


I guess you have a point. I still don't like it because it leaves everyone else out, and if you think that gay only means gay men then it's even smaller. Like, I live in a pretty liberal area so everyone here is mostly okay with gay people - that's fine. But I'd like to spread awareness about trans and ppl on the ace spectrum and everyone else. I feel like my school is okay with gay people ?? I mean having a GSA is better than nothing but having a club that focuses on more than the gay community would be nice too because people don't know much about the rest of the community.


----------



## Stevey Queen

My old high school club is called GSA and there's more than just homo/heteros there. We have trans too. Don't pass this club up because of it's name. Let it be known it's for everyone


----------



## Apollyna

Mayor Leaf said:


> Just a person with no definite gender. People often ask me: "if you don't want people to call you sir/ma'am, then what can we say?" and the thing is that you don't have to say anything. If you're greeting someone all you really need to say is "Good day," there is really no need for the gendered language at all.



I totally get this. IRL, I don't get mad at people for using my 'obvious' pronouns though. I feel like I can't blame them and afterall, I don't have severe dysphoria or anything, thank goodness. 

Whenever I talk about myself online, I just like to drop pronouns completely in favor of just "I/me/my" or "the apo" or something silly like that.
It's hard to explain... just feels more comfortable and more right, I guess?


----------



## g u a v a

Apollyna said:


> I totally get this. IRL, I don't get mad at people for using my 'obvious' pronouns though. I feel like I can't blame them and afterall, I don't have severe dysphoria or anything, thank goodness.
> 
> Whenever I talk about myself online, I just like to drop pronouns completely in favor of just "I/me/my" or "the apo" or something silly like that.
> It's hard to explain... just feels more comfortable and more right, I guess?



And it's not that I get angry at the people themselves, I more so get upset at the fact that as a society we've put these like ideas into people's brains and they've become so commonplace that it's impossible for them to even consider that a person can be something other than male or female.


----------



## Zeiro

LoveMcQueen said:


> My old high school club is called GSA and there's more than just homo/heteros there. We have trans too. Don't pass this club up because of it's name. Let it be known it's for everyone


My high school had one as well, but I don't think it exists anymore. I didn't see it at the club fair or the sports assembly this year, it's a shame. I don't think it was in the yearbook last year either. My sister was in it a few years back when they still had it.


----------



## Brackets

Mayor Leaf said:


> Just a person with no definite gender. People often ask me: "if you don't want people to call you sir/ma'am, then what can we say?" and the thing is that you don't have to say anything. If you're greeting someone all you really need to say is "Good day," there is really no need for the gendered language at all.



But lots of people such as myself like to be addressed by my gender. Basically, not everyone's ever going to be happy.
And in my job gendered language is needed all the time


----------



## Yannick

Biromantic asexual here! It's nice to see that they have a LGBTQA group here. It feels nice to see more people like me!


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

Gender pronoun thing is very English. Most languages have gender neutral pronouns.
The Persian language (a language I speak) is 100% genderless. It, she, and he are the same pronoun.


----------



## Brackets

Izzy Reincarnated said:


> Gender pronoun thing is very English. Most languages have gender neutral pronouns.
> The Persian language (a language I speak) is 100% genderless. It, she, and he are the same pronoun.



Really? I thought most languages use gender. I know French, Spanish and German do, they even have male/female pronouns for most objects as well


----------



## atonnoudjement

I'm pansexual panromantic and heteronormativity annoys me to no end.  Esp with the "YOU CAN ONLY LIKE ONE!"  and "You have a boyfriend so you're straight!"  completely ignoring my ex girlfriend and female leanings

Yeah one of my best friends in HS started the GSA, which got a lot of flack because our school is quite homophobic.  Ew.  At my uni we used to be known as a "lesbian campus" because it was an all girls school, but alas there are now men.  Exercise science majors.  Gross.  Chavs, gross.  A friend and I are trying to rekindle the GSA here at uni tho, wish us luck.

Oh, and as a german speaker, yes there is gender pronouns much like english.  I think you mean gender pronouns are very germanic, for all of the germanic languages I know (English, German, Dutch) have them


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

Annachie said:


> Really? I thought most languages use gender. I know French, Spanish and German do, they even have male/female pronouns for most objects as well



I've noticed it's more of the languages spoken in Asia.


----------



## (ciel)

Izzy Reincarnated said:


> I've noticed it's more of the languages spoken in Asia.



Yeah, Chinese has different characters for he and she, but they're pronounced the same. And Japanese likes to just leave the subject out of a sentence all together so.

- - - Post Merge - - -



justice said:


> I mostly don't like the term "GSA" because it leaves everyone else out. Not to mention my teacher was like "if we call it LGBT then people might get a bad reaction.. they'll think _ oh it's THOSE people..._" I'm like excuse me? Are you saying that because you think people will dislike the transgender side? Or anyone on the ace spectrum? I was basically like wtf when I heard that.



In high school mine was GSA, but there were all sorts of people. In college, we call it Allies, which I kind of like. A lot of us in that are LGBT+, even with the name, and we also have a separate club that's solely for LGBT+ students.

But my problem with LGBTQIA club is that people would state the A is for Allies. I mean they do that anyway when they shouldn't, but. Any name with have some issues, I think.


----------



## Gregriii

What is the Q of the LGBTQA?


----------



## atonnoudjement

Gregriii said:


> What is the Q of the LGBTQA?



It stands for queer, which is an umbrella term


----------



## (ciel)

Gregriii said:


> What is the Q of the LGBTQA?



Queer or Questioning, depending on who you ask.


----------



## Solar

I need someone to talk to about my really complicated sexuality problems but I don't know who to go to or where to go and it's killing me.


----------



## (ciel)

Solar said:


> I need someone to talk to about my really complicated sexuality problems but I don't know who to go to or where to go and it's killing me.



Well, if you don't feel like it's too personal, I'm sure there are people here that would be willing to listen . If you mean off the internet, then someone you trust, or a counselor or something...though sometimes people are hard to find.


----------



## radical6

Solar said:


> I need someone to talk to about my really complicated sexuality problems but I don't know who to go to or where to go and it's killing me.



talk to me Ben I love u and u always listen to me <3


----------



## Lady Timpani

Never mind


----------



## atonnoudjement

Solar said:


> I need someone to talk to about my really complicated sexuality problems but I don't know who to go to or where to go and it's killing me.



Come and talk to me, I have gone through every sexuality question ever and I can definitely assist you.  I know what it feels like to always know what you are, but to never have a word for it.  And then finding that word is bliss.


----------



## K-Boo

Its nice to see this  I'm pansexual haha


----------



## Solaria

I was bi then I realized I was pansexual, and now I'm questioning because I don't know how to feel about guys. All I know is that I'm really attracted to girls. I'm young so I have plenty of time to figure it out. I'm going to ship out to boot camp in June so the discovery process will have to be put on pause. Just to focus on all the new stuff.


----------



## Gabby

Guys, I'd just like to post about the FCKH8. They're a for profit organization, and don't actually really care about LGBTQIA+ issues. They use edgy advertising and marketing to get your attention, then sell their t-shirts. This blog here (yes, I know it's tumblr, but bare with me here) has a lot of evidence supporting that FCKH8 is actually really shady and scummy. 

Just figured I'd share!


----------



## radical6

Gabby said:


> Guys, I'd just like to post about the FCKH8. They're a for profit organization, and don't actually really care about LGBTQIA+ issues. They use edgy advertising and marketing to get your attention, then sell their t-shirts. This blog here (yes, I know it's tumblr, but bare with me here) has a lot of evidence supporting that FCKH8 is actually really shady and scummy.
> 
> Just figured I'd share!


Yeah they're basically like PETA. I know that their FB was really rude to pansexuals and asexuals claiming they don't really exist or something. That and they do a lot of stereotypes


----------



## Zanessa

If a cis pansexual female ends up with a cis male, can they still call themselves a pansexual?


----------



## oath2order

Gabby said:


> Guys, I'd just like to post about the FCKH8. They're a for profit organization, and don't actually really care about LGBTQIA+ issues. They use edgy advertising and marketing to get your attention, then sell their t-shirts. This blog here (yes, I know it's tumblr, but bare with me here) has a lot of evidence supporting that FCKH8 is actually really shady and scummy.
> 
> Just figured I'd share!



Oh I knew this ages ago. Yeah, it's Tumblr but there are some good informational blogs like this one.



justice said:


> Yeah they're basically like PETA.



Very good way of putting it.



ZanessaGaily said:


> If a cis pansexual female ends up with a cis male, can they still call themselves a pansexual?



If a bisexual woman ends up with a straight man, can she still herself bisexual?

The answer to both these questions is yes. Who you end up with is not equal to who your identity is, as you may break up with that person and fall in love with someone that isn't the same as the previous person in terms of their gender identity, in this example.


----------



## Gabby

ZanessaGaily said:


> If a cis pansexual female ends up with a cis male, can they still call themselves a pansexual?



Of course!


----------



## TaskBarR

I love and support anybody that is in these groups. They're humans too, and you should respect their choices and birth sexuality even if you don't agree with them. I've also learned so much just from talking to people from these groups! A lot of them are really smart and funny.


----------



## Beachland

ZanessaGaily said:


> If a cis pansexual female ends up with a cis male, can they still call themselves a pansexual?



Yes, your sexuality doesn't change depending on who you're with. I'm a bisexual female but if I dated a man it wouldn't make me straight


----------



## EndlessElements

i have only been with males, but i have a very strong attraction to females. on another forum i was labeled as straight with just slight curiosity, and to me, that's a tad insulting, especially when i would keep claiming it wasn't JUST about sexual attraction towards a females body; there's far more to it. i haven't dated a girl, no, but that doesn't mean i never would date one, i just don't really know enough people in my life, let alone females, so i'm not really exposed to the opportunity of really dating one.


----------



## CaptainCrunch

ZanessaGaily said:


> If a cis pansexual female ends up with a cis male, can they still call themselves a pansexual?



Yeah, it doesn't matter what gender the partner associates with, pansexuality is basically attraction to all genders.


----------



## (ciel)

It's Asexual Awareness Week! Woo!


----------



## Jarrad

ZanessaGaily said:


> If a cis pansexual female ends up with a cis male, can they still call themselves a pansexual?



I am literally so confused with all of these new labels for certain individual's sexuality.
Pansexual, hetrosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual etc.

I despise how some people use these words to define themselves.


----------



## EndlessElements

Jarrad said:


> I am literally so confused with all of these new labels for certain individual's sexuality.
> Pansexual, hetrosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual etc.
> 
> I despise how some people use these words to define themselves.



it's not really new. 

and why?


----------



## Stevey Queen

EndlessElements said:


> it's not really new.
> 
> and why?



Pansexual and cis and some others are all relatively new. They didn't exist back when I was in high school 2-3 years ago

At least the labels for them didn't exist.

There's too many labels. It's hard to keep up.

@Jarrad It's unnecessary to despise them and this isn't the safest of places to be saying you despise something.


----------



## Brackets

I agree there's probably too many labels and people are becoming too reliant on labels, but saying you despise them for it?! Not nice


----------



## Lady Timpani

LoveMcQueen said:


> Pansexual and cis and some others are all relatively new. They didn't exist back when I was in high school 2-3 years ago
> 
> At least the labels for them didn't exist.



From what I understand, cisgender has been around since the 90s. It's only just become mainstream, though. Can't say anything as far as pansexual goes, but I think it was coined around the same time.


----------



## EndlessElements

LoveMcQueen said:


> Pansexual and cis and some others are all relatively new. They didn't exist back when I was in high school 2-3 years ago
> 
> At least the labels for them didn't exist.
> 
> There's too many labels. It's hard to keep up.
> 
> @Jarrad It's unnecessary to despise them and this isn't the safest of places to be saying you despise something.



really? are you sure? maybe you just didn't hear them used much? i could have sworn i heard them around three years ago, but i could be wrong.

yes, there are a lot of labels, but... if it makes someone more comfortable to label who they are, then i'm all for it. for someone to say they despise it is just ridiculous.


----------



## Jinglefruit

I'd heard of pansexual and cisgendered about 5 years back, when I first started going to our uni's lgbt. The titles have always been around though. They're not new terms, the prefixes all have meanings outside of sexualities. cis~ and trans~ have been used in Chemistry terms for decades, but I think it was a lot later that the public picked up the cis is the opposite to trans and it cottoned on.


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

My good  friend came out to me as bisexual. 

I am also bisexual. But I feel at a loss as to what to say, other than “Nothing’s changed about how I see you, I love you, and I love whoever you love, too.” 

I AM SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT THIS?

Addition: 

I am almost in tears. Not because of anything bad, but because someone is expressing themselves emotionally to me and it hurts to know that they were scared and fighting with themselves when I would have loved them no matter what.


----------



## Gabby

Jarrad said:


> I am literally so confused with all of these new labels for certain individual's sexuality.
> Pansexual, hetrosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual etc.
> 
> I despise how some people use these words to define themselves.



If you're confused on the labels people use to define their sexuality, googling and researching them is a great way to become un-confused. It is only out of ignorance would you despise someone for labeling themselves a word you don't understand. Humans don't really like to leave things up in the air too much - labels allow people to narrow down and be able to tell someone "This is who I am" without a very long explanation.


----------



## radical6

Uhh Cis and Pan have been a term since the 90s.. 
I rarely hear transgender people be talked about in public, so it makes sense why you would never hear the word "cis" in public either.


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> Uhh Cis and Pan have been a term since the 90s..
> I rarely hear transgender people be talked about in public, so it makes sense why you would never hear the word "cis" in public either.



I always assumed that since nobody talks about heterosexuality, as it's the dominant sexuality in society, that was why nobody said the word "hetero" in public, the same said for trans and cis


----------



## Liquid Ocelot

"nobody said the word 'hetero' in public" 

uh. On which planet?


----------



## oath2order

I dont hear people saying hetero in public. Dont hear it at work in Target or on the bus


----------



## f11

I don't hear hetero but I hear straight.


----------



## Punchy-kun

I don't like all the labels because I'm afraid(and pretty sure) that people will label themselves because of a certain feeling/attraction they have (or had) and eventually doing that will MAKE them convinced that they ARE that label. Doing this will, I believe remove the idea being who you are is (for a big part)a choice.
It's a bit the same with personalities tests. You get a result and your "personality" is displayed. But this personality doesn't define who you are always going to be. It is generated out of the choices you have made in the test. Of course we definitely do have a personality, but we need to be careful because if we have a bad personality this is not something we can't change, it's a choice and we with our choices greatly affect our personality and can change.  That's the danger with these labels. You start to think you ARE the label and there's nothing you can do about it. 
Of course outside influences out of your power(such as education, etc.) do have an impact on how easy or difficult a choice is. But just because you are easier tempted to do something shouldn't control who you are, or who you shouldn't be. Don't forget that we're all "born" with a bad nature in some way, and thats why children NEED to be educated. But no education is flawless(and some are just plain bad), and so there'll always be things we'll have to work out ourselves. We must be careful to then not define our flaws as normal and avoid changing. 

And if you would like to change, I know sometimes things seems so hard it's as if it were impossible. But I being a Christian know that with God all things are possible. And I know that out of personal experience as well. God bless you all and thanks for reading.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Punchy-kun said:


> And if you would like to change, I know sometimes things seems so hard it's as if it were impossible. But I being a Christian know that with God all things are possible. And I know that out of personal experience as well. God bless you all and thanks for reading.



Wait what

Are you trying to convert us


----------



## Stevey Queen

You can't choose your sexuality, Punchy.

You act like you chose to be straight


----------



## Jinglefruit

I like that the first 3/4s of that reads like a self empowerment speech about being yourself and not letting anyone change you.

And the last 3 lines are, 'BUT I'M TRYING TO CHANGE YOU.'


----------



## Jake

Punchy-kun said:


> And if you would like to change, I know sometimes things seems so hard it's as if it were impossible. But I being a Christian know that with God all things are possible. And I know that out of personal experience as well. God bless you all and thanks for reading.



I would like to become a psychopathic murderer, can you hook me up with god and get him to change me? Thanks!


----------



## Tinkalila

Punchy-kun said:


> I don't like all the labels because I'm afraid(and pretty sure) that people will label themselves because of a certain feeling/attraction they have (or had) and eventually doing that will MAKE them convinced that they ARE that label. Doing this will, I believe remove the idea being who you are is (for a big part)a choice.
> It's a bit the same with personalities tests. You get a result and your "personality" is displayed. But this personality doesn't define who you are always going to be. It is generated out of the choices you have made in the test. Of course we definitely do have a personality, but we need to be careful because if we have a bad personality this is not something we can't change, it's a choice and we with our choices greatly affect our personality and can change.  That's the danger with these labels. You start to think you ARE the label and there's nothing you can do about it.
> Of course outside influences out of your power(such as education, etc.) do have an impact on how easy or difficult a choice is. But just because you are easier tempted to do something shouldn't control who you are, or who you shouldn't be. Don't forget that we're all "born" with a bad nature in some way, and thats why children NEED to be educated. But no education is flawless(and some are just plain bad), and so there'll always be things we'll have to work out ourselves. We must be careful to then not define our flaws as normal and avoid changing.
> 
> And if you would like to change, I know sometimes things seems so hard it's as if it were impossible. But I being a Christian know that with God all things are possible. And I know that out of personal experience as well. God bless you all and thanks for reading.



labels are important. having a label helps me identify myself. i don't like loose terms, i like my labels.

can they be banned for being bigoted and homophobic now.


----------



## oath2order

Tinkalila said:


> labels are important. having a label helps me identify myself. i don't like loose terms, i like my labels.
> 
> can they be banned for being bigoted and homophobic now.



What they said was good for debate, I don't think there's a problem with it.


----------



## Netphlix

I'm gay I think. I mean I have dated girls, been sexually attracted to girls. I like femboys that cross dress, I like to cross dress (for da bedroom reasons, eyyy). I like everything. Hi. I think sexuality and gender is something that can change at any moment in a persons life.


----------



## Goth

waiting for plantlet to post


----------



## Lady Timpani

Please don't start a ****storm in this thread. I know that I (and most likely others here) don't wait to see drama when we come here.


----------



## unintentional

As much as I love and support myself (being demisexual.)  I can't find strength to come out to my family.  More so, my grandpa (who I call my dad, as my dad is never around.)  He says he supports homosexuality and those who "have it." (he says it like it's something you can catch.)  my uncle who has been in a relationship with his boyfriend for the past 5 years and the state they live in just recently said Gay Marriage is legal (yay ;u; )  My dad said he wouldn't attend his marriage, as it's against God.  I keep bringing up how the bible says to love thy neighbor (and to support them) and how being gay is something they can't choose, but he won't hear of it.  He (grandpa/dad) keeps asking when I'm going to date a boy and I want so badly to say I'm dating a transboy, but I'm scared that at my age, he'll try to tell me I'm lying or something ;n;

EDIT;  Also, in legal terms, there's two boys at my school who got ISS for hugging each other before going to class.  Now PDA isn't allowed, but all the straight couples hug, kiss, etc, before coming to class (there's even one couple who grabs eachother's butts and makes out.)  Is there any legal actions that can be taken?


----------



## lazuli

idk what i am so i just say agender/genderless plus he/his pronouns and as for sexuality, i decided asexual/aromantic
i dont mind being alone haha


----------



## BlooBelle

IDK if I'm just asexual or extremely demisexual. -.-
It's not that I don't want to date anyone, I really do, but I've never been attracted to any one person in particular.


----------



## EmmaFrost

Punchy-kun said:


> I don't like all the labels because I'm afraid(and pretty sure) that people will label themselves because of a certain feeling/attraction they have (or had) and eventually doing that will MAKE them convinced that they ARE that label. Doing this will, I believe remove the idea being who you are is (for a big part)a choice.
> It's a bit the same with personalities tests. You get a result and your "personality" is displayed. But this personality doesn't define who you are always going to be. It is generated out of the choices you have made in the test. Of course we definitely do have a personality, but we need to be careful because if we have a bad personality this is not something we can't change, it's a choice and we with our choices greatly affect our personality and can change.  That's the danger with these labels. You start to think you ARE the label and there's nothing you can do about it.
> Of course outside influences out of your power(such as education, etc.) do have an impact on how easy or difficult a choice is. But just because you are easier tempted to do something shouldn't control who you are, or who you shouldn't be. Don't forget that we're all "born" with a bad nature in some way, and thats why children NEED to be educated. But no education is flawless(and some are just plain bad), and so there'll always be things we'll have to work out ourselves. We must be careful to then not define our flaws as normal and avoid changing.
> 
> And if you would like to change, I know sometimes things seems so hard it's as if it were impossible. But I being a Christian know that with God all things are possible. And I know that out of personal experience as well. God bless you all and thanks for reading.



You sound incredibly ignorant and homophobic.


----------



## Punchy-kun

Saint_Jimmy said:


> As much as I love and support myself (being demisexual.)  I can't find strength to come out to my family.  More so, my grandpa (who I call my dad, as my dad is never around.)  He says he supports homosexuality and those who "have it." (he says it like it's something you can catch.)  my uncle who has been in a relationship with his boyfriend for the past 5 years and the state they live in just recently said Gay Marriage is legal (yay ;u; )  My dad said he wouldn't attend his marriage, as it's against God.  I keep bringing up how the bible says to love thy neighbor (and to support them) and how being gay is something they can't choose, but he won't hear of it.  He (grandpa/dad) keeps asking when I'm going to date a boy and I want so badly to say I'm dating a transboy, but I'm scared that at my age, he'll try to tell me I'm lying or something ;n;
> 
> EDIT;  Also, in legal terms, there's two boys at my school who got ISS for hugging each other before going to class.  Now PDA isn't allowed, but all the straight couples hug, kiss, etc, before coming to class (there's even one couple who grabs eachother's butts and makes out.)  Is there any legal actions that can be taken?



Just because you have to love your neighbor doesn't imply you have to agree or approve of what they do. Loving your neighbor means telling them when they're wrong too you know. The Bible definitely doesn't say you have to support a person who sins. It says the opposite. It also says that a father who does not chastise his son hates his son. Why? Because loving someone doesn't mean approval, it means a lot of disapproval to the bad things they do, and teaching them to turn from it. 

Being gay not being a choice? Well it really depends on how you look at it. If you mean that you are sexually attracted to the same gender, I guess that happens. But deciding to act upon those feelings is a choice. 
If a person has, and a lot of people have, random thoughts that make them want to swear, knock someone or even kill someone(it happens), it doesn't mean they should act upon these feelings. Temptation isn't a choice, but acting upon it is. Deciding to live a gay lifestyle because you are attracted to gays is a choice. And so what your father says is correct, since it is a sin to act upon those impulses. What then must these people do, who want to follow the Bible and be saved(I mention these people, because if you don't want to belong to that group it's your choice and then you don't have to care about what I'm saying). These people can pray about these things so those feelings go away(And yes, there are countless testimonies of people online that prove this), and NOT act upon them. Hard? Possibly so, but everyone has a temptation they must(or at least should) abstain from. But this is how God can see who really loves Him and who doesn't and really only cares about their own pleasure. 

If homophobic just means not approving of gays(because I definitely don't hate them), then I don't mind being called one. If I'm called homophobic because people think I'm "afraid of the unknown", ignorant or hateful then I do mind, because that's not at all the case. But I think I'm called a homophobe just because I disagree, with the intention however to classify me to the same group who do hate, who are ignorant, etc just for the sole purpose of giving me a bad name because they can't stand that people disagree.
If you can't stand people who disagree, how much better are you yourself? For I obviously can stand people who disagree.


----------



## KarlaKGB

ur called a homophobe because ppl like to think in black and white


----------



## Justin

This is not a debate thread, don't turn it into one. It is a support thread as clearly stated in the title, and it's rude to come in with the purpose of attacking or starting a debate. Thank you.


----------



## Colour Bandit

I'm feeling really comfortable at work now, I found out a few days ago that my supervisor is gay and everyone is really supportive of him so I felt safe enough to come out as bi/demisexual and everyone is really supportive of me too! I did get a few questions about being demisexual but I don't think they were trying to be rude or anything and they weren't as intrusive as questions I have had from people online  But yeah, I'm loving my job even more now, it really helps to have got it off my chest.


----------



## radical6

while I'm usually open to people exploring gender and sexuality, making a sexuality that means you're attracted to yourself does not mean you're oppressed for wanting to **** yourself. I cry at some of the genders and sexualities being made on the MOGAI blog. I don't care for most of them because they're harmless, but some of them like I'm just ??? Like there was one where "wanting to form a plantonic relationship" I'm like that's called friendship?? you are not oppressed for wanting to make friends. like idc make a gender or sexuality of anything u want but please think first. the sexuality ones anyway are worse, I don't really care what you make your gender though.


----------



## unintentional

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because you have to love your neighbor doesn't imply you have to agree or approve of what they do. Loving your neighbor means telling them when they're wrong too you know. The Bible definitely doesn't say you have to support a person who sins. It says the opposite. It also says that a father who does not chastise his son hates his son. Why? Because loving someone doesn't mean approval, it means a lot of disapproval to the bad things they do, and teaching them to turn from it.
> 
> Being gay not being a choice? Well it really depends on how you look at it. If you mean that you are sexually attracted to the same gender, I guess that happens. But deciding to act upon those feelings is a choice.
> If a person has, and a lot of people have, random thoughts that make them want to swear, knock someone or even kill someone(it happens), it doesn't mean they should act upon these feelings. Temptation isn't a choice, but acting upon it is. Deciding to live a gay lifestyle because you are attracted to gays is a choice. And so what your father says is correct, since it is a sin to act upon those impulses. What then must these people do, who want to follow the Bible and be saved(I mention these people, because if you don't want to belong to that group it's your choice and then you don't have to care about what I'm saying). These people can pray about these things so those feelings go away(And yes, there are countless testimonies of people online that prove this), and NOT act upon them. Hard? Possibly so, but everyone has a temptation they must(or at least should) abstain from. But this is how God can see who really loves Him and who doesn't and really only cares about their own pleasure.
> 
> If homophobic just means not approving of gays(because I definitely don't hate them), then I don't mind being called one. If I'm called homophobic because people think I'm "afraid of the unknown", ignorant or hateful then I do mind, because that's not at all the case. But I think I'm called a homophobe just because I disagree, with the intention however to classify me to the same group who do hate, who are ignorant, etc just for the sole purpose of giving me a bad name because they can't stand that people disagree.
> If you can't stand people who disagree, how much better are you yourself? For I obviously can stand people who disagree.



So let's just all do what we have to, even if we don't like it yay 

Do you know how seriously ignorant you sound?


----------



## Brackets

Punchy-kun said:


> If a person has, and a lot of people have, random thoughts that make them want to swear, knock someone or even kill someone(it happens), it doesn't mean they should act upon these feelings.



But being gay doesn't hurt anyone, whereas punching or killing someone obviously does. Why do you expect them to withhold their desires if it doesn't have any bad consequences?
Honestly this thread doesn't want you here, stop bible thumping.


----------



## Bowie

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because you have to love your neighbor doesn't imply you have to agree or approve of what they do. Loving your neighbor means telling them when they're wrong too you know. The Bible definitely doesn't say you have to support a person who sins. It says the opposite. It also says that a father who does not chastise his son hates his son. Why? Because loving someone doesn't mean approval, it means a lot of disapproval to the bad things they do, and teaching them to turn from it.
> 
> Being gay not being a choice? Well it really depends on how you look at it. If you mean that you are sexually attracted to the same gender, I guess that happens. But deciding to act upon those feelings is a choice.
> If a person has, and a lot of people have, random thoughts that make them want to swear, knock someone or even kill someone(it happens), it doesn't mean they should act upon these feelings. Temptation isn't a choice, but acting upon it is. Deciding to live a gay lifestyle because you are attracted to gays is a choice. And so what your father says is correct, since it is a sin to act upon those impulses. What then must these people do, who want to follow the Bible and be saved(I mention these people, because if you don't want to belong to that group it's your choice and then you don't have to care about what I'm saying). These people can pray about these things so those feelings go away(And yes, there are countless testimonies of people online that prove this), and NOT act upon them. Hard? Possibly so, but everyone has a temptation they must(or at least should) abstain from. But this is how God can see who really loves Him and who doesn't and really only cares about their own pleasure.
> 
> If homophobic just means not approving of gays(because I definitely don't hate them), then I don't mind being called one. If I'm called homophobic because people think I'm "afraid of the unknown", ignorant or hateful then I do mind, because that's not at all the case. But I think I'm called a homophobe just because I disagree, with the intention however to classify me to the same group who do hate, who are ignorant, etc just for the sole purpose of giving me a bad name because they can't stand that people disagree.
> If you can't stand people who disagree, how much better are you yourself? For I obviously can stand people who disagree.



Hey, I like men's crotches. What can I say? If I want to go for men's crotches I'm gonna go for them. I'm not gonna be ashamed of myself and hide away how I feel. I'm not hurting anybody. I like men's crotches. Sue me.


----------



## Rasha

well, this will be the first time I say this so here goes: I'm gay, or lesbian since I'm a girl?? I'm also a furry...
I have a boyfriend but I'm into girls too, I just never met a girl who'd be interested in me so I try stay straight I guess...

anyway, nice to meet you guys


----------



## unintentional

Annachie said:


> But being gay doesn't hurt anyone, whereas punching or killing someone obviously does. Why do you expect them to withhold their desires if it doesn't have any bad consequences?
> Honestly this thread doesn't want you here, stop bible thumping.



THIS <33333

As I said in the religion thread, I'm fine with everything as long as it's not hurting you or someone else (and I obviously support any rights for people)  There's a time and a place for sharing your thoughts, but when the thoughts are comparing killing someone and homosexuality (in a thread with SUPPORT in the title), well, you  need to stop.

- - - Post Merge - - -



R-Cookies said:


> well, this will be the first time I say this so here goes: I'm gay, or lesbian since I'm a girl?? I'm also a furry...
> I have a boyfriend but I'm into girls too, I just never met a girl who'd be interested in me so I try stay straight I guess...
> 
> anyway, nice to meet you guys



It's okay to feel the way you do <3  Just because you havent met a girl who likes you (in that way) yet, doesn't mean you won't.


----------



## BlooBelle

Saint_Jimmy said:


> THIS <33333
> 
> As I said in the religion thread, I'm fine with everything as long as it's not hurting you or someone else (and I obviously support any rights for people)  There's a time and a place for sharing your thoughts, but when the thoughts are comparing killing someone and homosexuality (in a thread with SUPPORT in the title), well, you  need to stop.


I pretty much agree with this.
There are some things I don't like about religion, but I generally don't mind religious people if they're tolerant. if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, especially if the things you're saying sound like you're trying to convert us. -.-
TBH I see a lot of people like this in threads like this (on different forums ofc), but almost every christian I know in real life is very sweet. I guess people just take to the internet to bash people without consequence.


----------



## Bowie

Just to clarify, the content on my MP3 player is proof of my sexuality. Lady Gaga everywhere. If that isn't gay, I don't know what is. And don't even get me started on the amount of yaoi I've got saved to this thing.


----------



## unintentional

This isn't relevant to the topic, but good lord.  2MuchBowie4Me


----------



## Bowie

Saint_Jimmy said:


> This isn't relevant to the topic, but good lord.  2MuchBowie4Me



Ha!


----------



## Gabby

Punchy-kun said:


> shortened



You just casually compare homosexuality to swearing at, beating, and killing someone. Nice. 

There should be some phrase or line in the bible that says keep your business to yourself. You're only harming lgbtqia+ people when you spout your ignorance.

However, to be on topic. I'm going to a lgbtqia+ meeting sort of thing in my town! I'm excited.


----------



## lazuli

Gabby said:


> You just casually compare homosexuality to swearing at, beating, and killing someone. Nice.
> 
> There should be some phrase or line in the bible that says keep your business to yourself. You're only harming lgbtqia+ people when you spout your ignorance.
> 
> However, to be on topic. I'm going to a lgbtqia+ meeting sort of thing in my town! I'm excited.



!!! have fun.


----------



## Marmoset

This is a sanctuary, not a place to put your two cents in Punchy.

Anyhow, straight ally.  I'm so happy. My old professors (most of them new to the university 1-2 years) from my undergrad institution are really stepping up and helping the LGBTQA society there, which unfortunately faces a lot of backlash. They took all the members to see some of the cast members from OITNB. So jealous. Wish I was still there!


----------



## Trundle

I am a femme-presenting queer trans non-binary two-spirit genderfluid, xe/xir/hir/xirself pronouns, pansexual, PoC (1/16th Native American), white-passing except for hijab, Muslim (convert), neuro-atypical (self-diagnosed aspergers), economically privileged, sex-positive, body-positive, vegan. I told my mom my true feelings last night and she got really mad at me and grounded me. What should I do?


----------



## Marmoset

Trundle said:


> I am a femme-presenting queer trans non-binary two-spirit genderfluid, xe/xir/hir/xirself pronouns, pansexual, PoC (1/16th Native American), white-passing except for hijab, Muslim (convert), neuro-atypical (self-diagnosed aspergers), economically privileged, sex-positive, body-positive, vegan. I told my mom my true feelings last night and she got really mad at me and grounded me. What should I do?



Perhaps vegetarian? I saw your banana bread recipe. LOVE banana bread! I want to try it out sometime next week. 

Back on topic though. I'm sorry that your mother has reacted this way. I'm not sure if I can give great advice, but if you are in school perhaps you could find a support group? Even if you are out of school perhaps finding a support group would be great! 

I hope someone is able to give you better advice. Two-spirited people are incredible, and I hope one day your mom realizes just how important and amazing you are! Perhaps you could show her some of the literature behind the history of the two-spirited identity of some Native American groups, and how they are embraced within society?


----------



## Pathetic

trundle why are you even here
i'm sorry Marmoset he's trolling you

probably both trolls but whts the point anymore


----------



## Venorik

lol'ing at dat troll

@R-Cookies, you could possibly be bisexual? whatever you feel comfortable identifying as, though, is what matters so you find what makes you comfortable 

i guess i would just identify as hetero since im agender but i like men?

also @Bowie idk if you were joking or not, but saying "men's crotches" is transphobic cuz well... not all men have the same type of crotch, u kno what i mean? not trying to start anything but i just wanted to inform you.


----------



## Brackets

Venorik said:


> also @Bowie idk if you were joking or not, but saying "men's crotches" is transphobic cuz well... not all men have the same type of crotch, u kno what i mean? not trying to start anything but i just wanted to inform you.


oh come on that is not transphobic


----------



## Zane

Venorik said:


> also @Bowie idk if you were joking or not, but saying "men's crotches" is transphobic cuz well... not all men have the same type of crotch, u kno what i mean? not trying to start anything but i just wanted to inform you.



I thought it might have been casually cissexist at first but thinking about it they didn't conflate any physical traits with being a man, they just said "men's crotches" which could mean the crotch of anybody who identifies as a man.


----------



## BlooBelle

Venorik said:


> also @Bowie idk if you were joking or not, but saying "men's crotches" is transphobic cuz well... not all men have the same type of crotch, u kno what i mean? not trying to start anything but i just wanted to inform you.



Saying "crotches" doesn't refer to any specific genitalia, it just refers to that region.


----------



## Venorik

hm yeah i guess so. it just came off that way to me, because ive experienced a LOT of people saying "oh im a lesbian i LOVE vaginas" or "im gay i LOVE penises" (implying only women have vaginas, and only men have penises) so i just assumed they used the word "crotch" in exchange for "penis".
but yeah sorry, like i said i don't mean to start anything, thats just the way it came off to me.


----------



## Marmoset

What a shame. It's sad that people think these types of issues are a joke.


----------



## BlooBelle

It's okay. c:
But keep in mind that some people are only attracted to cis people as well.


----------



## Zane

Venorik said:


> hm yeah i guess so. it just came off that way to me, because ive experienced a LOT of people saying "oh im a lesbian i LOVE vaginas" or "im gay i LOVE penises" (implying only women have vaginas, and only men have penises) so i just assumed they used the word "crotch" in exchange for "penis".
> but yeah sorry, like i said i don't mean to start anything, thats just the way it came off to me.



Definitely know where you're coming from on that one, that subject always gets my hackles up too.  



Marmoset said:


> What a shame. It's sad that people think these types of issues are a joke.



Indeed, as an NDN I particularly don't appreciate people making fun of the term "two-spirit"..


----------



## radical6

Marmoset said:


> What a shame. It's sad that people think these types of issues are a joke.



When it doesn't affect them, they think it's funny to poke at. It's quite annoying to deal with tbh because they think everyone else will know they're joking.


----------



## Bowie

Well, I'm really only into guys who have always been guys. I mean, I've never been sexually attracted by anyone who wasn't, so that's all I can really base that on.


----------



## radical6

I never really thought my psychiatrists took my dysphoria seriously but the doctor there finally diagnosed me with it. I'm hoping for some change now, but I don't see my doctor very often. It's going to be slow and tedious, but whatever it's better than nothing. My doctors are honestly quite nice and use they/them and try not to use my birthname when it's just the two of us. Someone pls buy me a binder tho.


----------



## radical6

i think im getting a binder and tbh im so goddamn happy i love my friend so much i could cry right now


----------



## Misuzurin

Well I've been avoiding this thread due to wanting to fly under the radar, but it looks like some people might appreciate advice from a mtf transwoman. Although, I have only been on HRT for three weeks. I can still help with any questions about the process in the U.S. and what quickly changes with hormones and what takes time.


----------



## unintentional

justice said:


> i think im getting a binder and tbh im so goddamn happy i love my friend so much i could cry right now



Congrats c:  I wish I could buy one for my friend, but als, I am too poor :c


----------



## oath2order

I'm an ******* I know

I don't get it they're not that expensive????

http://www.target.com/s?searchTerm=...llpartial|all+categories&lnk=snav_sbox_binder


----------



## Marmoset

oath2order said:


> I'm an ******* I know
> 
> I don't get it they're not that expensive????
> 
> http://www.target.com/s?searchTerm=...llpartial|all+categories&lnk=snav_sbox_binder



Not sure if serious or a joke....

Either way, congrats on the binder!  My friend (FTM) is waiting on one as well, but they are pretty pricey. How often does one wear a binder?


----------



## radical6

I'm unable to get one because my parents are deeply against it and pretty much monitor everything I buy online and irl. I'm so glad I'm getting one from a friend.



Marmoset said:


> Not sure if serious or a joke....
> 
> Either way, congrats on the binder!  My friend (FTM) is waiting on one as well, but they are pretty pricey. How often does one wear a binder?



I guess if you want a good one that won't kill you they will be more pricey. The best ones I've seen go for ~$30-50. There's probably more expensive ones though. You can buy some for like 5 but they don't seem to be very safe or good. The one I'm interested in is midrange so I hope it will be ok. I think I read you shouldn't wear them to sleep or for long periods of time unless you want rib damage. I'd probably wear it during the day at school and maybe if I go out with friends, but wearing it during the night will probably cause some problems.


----------



## Marmoset

justice said:


> I'm unable to get one because my parents are deeply against it and pretty much monitor everything I buy online and irl. I'm so glad I'm getting one from a friend.
> 
> 
> 
> I guess if you want a good one that won't kill you they will be more pricey. The best ones I've seen go for ~$30-50. There's probably more expensive ones though. You can buy some for like 5 but they don't seem to be very safe or good. The one I'm interested in is midrange so I hope it will be ok. I think I read you shouldn't wear them to sleep or for long periods of time unless you want rib damage. I'd probably wear it during the day at school and maybe if I go out with friends, but wearing it during the night will probably cause some problems.



Makes sense. I have a friend who I am trying to support (he's having problems at work; a lot of people are pretty against his transitioning and keep saying "she/her" pronouns, so I'm trying to make up for that in support) who is interested in these kinds of things. So I may have more questions in the future!


----------



## oath2order

Marmoset said:


> Not sure if serious or a joke....
> 
> Either way, congrats on the binder!  My friend (FTM) is waiting on one as well, but they are pretty pricey. How often does one wear a binder?



...I thought the bit of empty space about my text would have given someone the idea to highlight it and see what's there.

guess not.


----------



## Marmoset

oath2order said:


> ...I thought the bit of empty space about my text would have given someone the idea to highlight it and see what's there.
> 
> guess not.



I was speaking more on the lines of adding to the conversation.


----------



## Beardo

I wanna come out as Bi to my parents (is that normal? Coming out as bi?), but since everyone and their f***ing mothers are coming out as lesbian/gay or bi for attention, they won't believe me and say it's a phase and I'm just trying to be 'different'.  

There are people who actually gay/bi/pan or whatever, and then there's the people my age who think they'll get more attention from coming out, so my parents and sister don't believe me, and it sucks. 

I've felt feelings towards both men and women (not just romantic) for about 2 years now, and I'm not even being subtle about it yet they still think I'm just 'trying to be different' 
Ugh


----------



## Marmoset

Beardo said:


> I wanna come out as Bi to my parents (is that normal? Coming out as bi?), but since everyone and their f***ing mothers are coming out as lesbian/gay or bi for attention, they won't believe me and say it's a phase and I'm just trying to be 'different'.
> 
> There are people who actually gay/bi/pan or whatever, and then there's the people my age who think they'll get more attention from coming out, so my parents and sister don't believe me, and it sucks.
> 
> I've felt feelings towards both men and women (not just romantic) for about 2 years now, and I'm not even being subtle about it yet they still think I'm just 'trying to be different'
> Ugh



I'm really sorry that has happened to you. I'm not sure if I'm qualified to give advice and I'm not sure if this advice will be helpful, but try to stay true to yourself and be yourself. So long as you're happy that's all that matters. People who do things for the sake of attention will never reach true happiness; perhaps one day your parents and siblings will see that you truly are happy being true to yourself and believe you.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Beardo said:


> I wanna come out as Bi to my parents (is that normal? Coming out as bi?), but since everyone and their f***ing mothers are coming out as lesbian/gay or bi for attention, they won't believe me and say it's a phase and I'm just trying to be 'different'.
> 
> There are people who actually gay/bi/pan or whatever, and then there's the people my age who think they'll get more attention from coming out, so my parents and sister don't believe me, and it sucks.
> 
> I've felt feelings towards both men and women (not just romantic) for about 2 years now, and I'm not even being subtle about it yet they still think I'm just 'trying to be different'
> Ugh


Maybe they're in denial because it's shocking to them. That's actually pretty common. I'm sorry that they won't believe you and be supportive, but at least disbelief is more of a neutral reaction than a negative one. I hope they come to terms with it, in due time.


----------



## Beardo

Marmoset said:


> I'm really sorry that has happened to you. I'm not sure if I'm qualified to give advice and I'm not sure if this advice will be helpful, but try to stay true to yourself and be yourself. So long as you're happy that's all that matters. People who do things for the sake of attention will never reach true happiness; perhaps one day your parents and siblings will see that you truly are happy being true to yourself and believe you.



Thank you

- - - Post Merge - - -



Hana-Nezumi said:


> Maybe they're in denial because it's shocking to them. That's actually pretty common. I'm sorry that they won't believe you and be supportive, but at least disbelief is more of a neutral reaction than a negative one. I hope they come to terms with it, in due time.



Yeah. They have a lot of friends who are gay/trans, so I assume once they actually decide to believe me they'll be accepting. I'm just really pissed they think I just want attention.


----------



## tamagotchi

I'm posting this on behalf of my girlfriend bc she's a lazy dweeb and won't make an account here so w.e

Basically, to sum it up, she told her parents that she and I were in a relationship and that she was only attracted to girls. Her mother was very supportive [ her sisters were, too. ], but her father was in denial. He told her that, "It's just a phase, you'll get over it.". A few months had passed and she decided to bring up the topic again, so her father made her go to church [ she's not Christian but her parents are. ] to listen to a lecture about being gay. Her father then took her to therapy because he "Just couldn't understand why she likes girls." and he wants her to have her on biological family with a man. Her father has been really mean to her lately and has been forcing her to go to therapy, to church, and to even see a school counselor. She's been depressed lately because he hasn't been talking to her and ignoring her and I don't know what to do or say to her because I've never been in this situation before.


----------



## Gabby

RetroT said:


> I'm posting this on behalf of my girlfriend bc she's a lazy dweeb and won't make an account here so w.e
> 
> Basically, to sum it up, she told her parents that she and I were in a relationship and that she was only attracted to girls. Her mother was very supportive [ her sisters were, too. ], but her father was in denial. He told her that, "It's just a phase, you'll get over it.". A few months had passed and she decided to bring up the topic again, so her father made her go to church [ she's not Christian but her parents are. ] to listen to a lecture about being gay. Her father then took her to therapy because he "Just couldn't understand why she likes girls." and he wants her to have her on biological family with a man. Her father has been really mean to her lately and has been forcing her to go to therapy, to church, and to even see a school counselor. She's been depressed lately because he hasn't been talking to her and ignoring her and I don't know what to do or say to her because I've never been in this situation before.



Her mother and sisters were accepting of her, could they try to talk to her dad about it? That's not in anyway okay for him to do.


----------



## radical6

this transphobe harassed me in the past before and i brushed it off. was kinda weirded out how he got my number tho in the first place. i found out who he was after some searching tho so i could easily bring it up to his school but he goes to a christian private school sooo

anyway i heard he was being invited to a friends party and i cancelled my plans because uh i feel pretty uncomfortable around the dude since he made gross comments and threats. my friend decided he couldnt come then and all of a sudden i got like a bunch of messages from the dude begging for forgiveness?? like he kept calling me after i told him to leave me alone and after i blocked him he started using his moms phone to call me. god. 

i dont really understand whats so hard for people to understand tho? like uh if you made transphobic comments towards me its reasonable for me to not want to talk to you.. my phone kept vibrating because of him before i finally yelled at my friend to get him to shut up. (my friend and him are friends).

kind of ruined my day but whatever


----------



## Zanessa

My mom and aunt are being real jerks about me having a crush on a female friend. They don't want me to date her, but they won't say why, and they get defensive when I tell them that they're being a bit homophobic. 
And guess what? 
The friend I have a crush on 
is willing to be my fake girlfriend 
just to shove it in their faces that this is a thing and they have to deal with it.

How do I deal with my mom and aunt?


----------



## radical6

ZanessaGaily said:


> My mom and aunt are being real jerks about me having a crush on a female friend. They don't want me to date her, but they won't say why, and they get defensive when I tell them that they're being a bit homophobic.
> And guess what?
> The friend I have a crush on
> is willing to be my fake girlfriend
> just to shove it in their faces that this is a thing and they have to deal with it.
> 
> How do I deal with my mom and aunt?



tbh they need to accept you. im not really sure what to do since my parents are pretty accepting of my sexuality but not my gender.but what i did with my gender was "this makes me happy, are you really going to hold it back from me?" like. its not harming anyone or yourself so its fine tbh. im not too sure going up to them with ur fake gf will be a good thing, might cause more tension. id see if you could pry any more info from them before doing anything major


----------



## lazuli

a binder would be nice to have + wear
id probably only be able to get one when im in college
_only four years to go,,,,,,,,,,,,,_


----------



## BlooBelle

i don't know if i'm asexual or just super demisexual and its literally killing me
i'm in middle school, so obviously everyone is talking about their crushes and I just feel awkward.


----------



## oath2order

BlooBelle said:


> i don't know if i'm asexual or just super demisexual and its literally killing me
> i'm in middle school, so obviously everyone is talking about their crushes and I just feel awkward.



I feel like this is an unpopular sentiment but

You're in _middle school_. Don't worry about labelling yourself.


----------



## Brackets

BlooBelle said:


> i don't know if i'm asexual or just super demisexual and its literally killing me
> i'm in middle school, so obviously everyone is talking about their crushes and I just feel awkward.



When most people are your age they don't even know what those words mean, let alone try and label themselves. Just stop worrying and be who you are and like who you like


----------



## KarlaKGB

BlooBelle said:


> i don't know if i'm asexual or just super demisexual and its literally killing me
> i'm in middle school, so obviously everyone is talking about their crushes and I just feel awkward.



just do ur own thing, im sure there r bigger problems u will face in the coming years than deciding wat invisible label to wear


----------



## oath2order

I am glad that it wan't an unpopular sentiment


----------



## MayorBacon

I agree with that notion. You're a bit too young to understand any of that. Man, I'm 19 and still trying to figure myself out ;P

- - - Post Merge - - -

Aside from that, people in general don't really understand how 'complex' sexuality is. There are a lot of gray areas for many individuals


----------



## KarlaKGB

MayorBacon said:


> I agree with that notion. You're a bit too young to understand any of that. Man, I'm 19 and still trying to figure myself out ;P
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Aside from that, people in general don't really understand how 'complex' sexuality is. There are a lot of gray areas for many individuals



ppl do understand how complex sexuality is. the problem is when ppl try to put the complexities into words and turn them into labels.

- - - Post Merge - - -

i wil elaborate

i like my tea in a certain way. i like to sit in a certain way. i like the way the wind blows a certain way. when i read a book i turn the pages in a certain way. nobody actually cares about any of these details, so i dont feel the need to tell them about it nor create a fancy term to describe how i turn a page. i just do it and get on with it.


----------



## MayorBacon

KarlaKGB said:


> ppl do understand how complex sexuality is. the problem is when ppl try to put the complexities into words and turn them into labels.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> i wil elaborate
> 
> i like my tea in a certain way. i like to sit in a certain way. i like the way the wind blows a certain way. when i read a book i turn the pages in a certain way. nobody actually cares about any of these details, so i dont feel the need to tell them about it nor create a fancy term to describe how i turn a page. i just do it and get on with it.



Right on, but because they don't read those details and 'fancy labels' to actually understand and get it. We still have those traditional gender roles as if it's something biological, and people still running around thinking bisexuals don't exist, and other nonsense.


----------



## radical6

Labels help in some ways I suppose. Yes people are still growing, me included, but I can pretty safely say I know my sexuality and gender if I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria already. Sexuality I'm more whatever in because I don't tend to worry much. But anyway, sexuality is fluid. If you feel if you're asexual later in your life, that's fine. Nothing is set in concrete right now, so don't worry. But that doesn't mean it isn't valid either. Like others said, don't worry about it. You're free to think you're demisexual/asexual at this time, it doesn't really matter. Maybe 20 years from now it will change, don't sweat about it.


----------



## BlooBelle

Thanks, you guys. Your advice really helped, I've been feeling pressured to choose lately. <3


----------



## KarlaKGB

BlooBelle said:


> Thanks, you guys. Your advice really helped, I've been feeling pressured to choose lately. <3



why do u have to choose? u dont need to lock in watever sexual identity u have and stick to it for the next 20 years. just carry on with ur life and do watever the hell feels good to u


----------



## Zanessa

My family just won't understand me being pansexual. They just think I'm confused.


----------



## MayorBacon

I have to agree with that. This whole notion of choosing right or left is so freaking overrated and useless. Just go with the flow of your feelings, that's all that really matters anyway.


----------



## Paramore

I honestly would never come out to anyone in my life.


----------



## CR33P

nickelodeon supports lgbt #korrasami o_o


----------



## GameLaxer

CR33P said:


> nickelodeon supports lgbt #korrasami o_o



Yay!!! I heard that the show was pulled from TV though?

- - - Post Merge - - -

So, I had my first girlfriend and first love for about a year. We broke up this past June. I tried dating another girl, but it didn't work out for other reasons. A lot of the time I was dating that other girl, though, I was thinking about my ex. I really miss the chemistry we had and how I could just be myself right from the beginning. I just keep wondering if she misses me at all. I don't think it would be a good idea for us to get back together, but I still really care about her, and that worries me. I don't want to act impulsively and just get back together...I don't know. It could be because I'm single now that I'm thinking about her, but she was a really good friend, too. I just miss her company, and I resent that my mother, who is homophobic but doesn't believe she is, created a rift between my ex and me. I just don't know how to get over my first love. Does that ever happen?


----------



## Halcyon

my parents don't wanna use gender neutral terms/pronouns towards me and i'm scared as heck to tell the rest of my family :-( 
being in the closet sucks god...


----------



## brutalitea

I'm in the B category ^_^

There is absolutely no way I would ever come out to anyone in my family. They're all homophobic.


----------



## Zanessa

Just came out to my family. 
Dad thought I made it (pansexuality) up, mom kept shaking her head, aunts were like "uh..." and my sister left the table before I said anything else.


----------



## Tao

GameLaxer said:


> So, I had my first girlfriend and first love for about a year. We broke up this past June. I tried dating another girl, but it didn't work out for other reasons. A lot of the time I was dating that other girl, though, I was thinking about my ex. I really miss the chemistry we had and how I could just be myself right from the beginning. I just keep wondering if she misses me at all. I don't think it would be a good idea for us to get back together, but I still really care about her, and that worries me. I don't want to act impulsively and just get back together...I don't know. It could be because I'm single now that I'm thinking about her, but she was a really good friend, too. I just miss her company, and I resent that my mother, who is homophobic but doesn't believe she is, created a rift between my ex and me. I just don't know how to get over my first love. Does that ever happen?





I was with my last ex for over 6 years and she was very much my best friend as well as my partner.

It's been somewhat over a year now since we broke up and I do still think about her and miss the friendship, chemistry, etc. etc. as well as often wondering "does she still think about me?". To be honest, wondering whether they still think of you is probably the hardest part. We shared a lot of interests so a lot of things 'jog my memory', as well as certain things that I see/hear/do occasionally that just makes me think she would have liked.

I would never get back with her, though that's due to the specific circumstances as I simply couldn't trust her again + I burned that bridge to make sure I never do so and we have had no contact since. Like you though, I still care for her and if I happened to see her around and she was 'in trouble, or hear she was 'having a bad time' I would likely still go out of my way to help.

I can't say how to get over your 'first love' since despite the amount of other girls I've been with, she was the first and to an extent I'm still in the process of it (6/7 years is a lot to get over). It gets easier with time though, you find ways to fill the voids and it gets easier. Having those memories is nice because they still make me happy at the same time. 

To be honest, I've gotten to the point now where it doesn't really make me sad anymore, they're just happy memories of something that 'used to be' like a lot of other things in the past that I can look back at and smile.

'Getting over it' (like other things) isn't the same process for everybody though with everybody doing it in their own way, and it's never guaranteed how long it's going to take somebody to do so.


----------



## Saylor

ZanessaGaily said:


> Just came out to my family.
> Dad thought I made it (pansexuality) up, mom kept shaking her head, aunts were like "uh..." and my sister left the table before I said anything else.


 I'm sorry it didn't go very well.

I was about to come out to my family today as well but I couldn't do it. I'm kinda frustrated about it cause it seemed like the perfect opportunity and I missed my chance. I just wanna get it out and over with.


----------



## GameLaxer

Tao said:


> I was with my last ex for over 6 years and she was very much my best friend as well as my partner.
> 
> It's been somewhat over a year now since we broke up and I do still think about her and miss the friendship, chemistry, etc. etc. as well as often wondering "does she still think about me?". To be honest, wondering whether they still think of you is probably the hardest part. We shared a lot of interests so a lot of things 'jog my memory', as well as certain things that I see/hear/do occasionally that just makes me think she would have liked.
> 
> I would never get back with her, though that's due to the specific circumstances as I simply couldn't trust her again + I burned that bridge to make sure I never do so and we have had no contact since. Like you though, I still care for her and if I happened to see her around and she was 'in trouble, or hear she was 'having a bad time' I would likely still go out of my way to help.
> 
> I can't say how to get over your 'first love' since despite the amount of other girls I've been with, she was the first and to an extent I'm still in the process of it (6/7 years is a lot to get over). It gets easier with time though, you find ways to fill the voids and it gets easier. Having those memories is nice because they still make me happy at the same time.
> 
> To be honest, I've gotten to the point now where it doesn't really make me sad anymore, they're just happy memories of something that 'used to be' like a lot of other things in the past that I can look back at and smile.
> 
> 'Getting over it' (like other things) isn't the same process for everybody though with everybody doing it in their own way, and it's never guaranteed how long it's going to take somebody to do so.



Thank you very much for sharing your insight and personal experience. It helped me quite a bit as I am experiencing similar things in regards to my own breakup. I'm glad that you are able to look back happily at this point, though. Sometimes I am able to do that also, but at times it does get hard. Thanks again, though.


----------



## Zanessa

My mom is only accepting my sexuality because she has to deal with it, not because she wants to. And she keeps calling herself a good mother and tried to guilt me into making it so it was about how she felt or whatever. Like she kept saying, "I've sacrificed a lot to be a good mother" okay mom but right now you're being a crappy one and you need to fix that crap right now jesus 

Coming out was the worst thing I could do and this whole thing has given me a depression relapse.


----------



## unintentional

ugh.  My mom and grandma had a conversation on my sexuality.

Like, chill.  I'd tell you the truth but just saying I have no time for anyone but me is real enough.


----------



## cannedcommunism

I'm still sort of figuring out. At this point I'm pretty sure I'm Bi.


----------



## Alyssa

I'm pansexual and genderfluid (female/agender).

I've been out for a few years about my sexuality, but I avoid discussing it IRL due to an extremely bad experience coming out to some family members and mostly everyone at school (I dropped out for an entire semester if that gives you an idea of how bad it got).

I've struggled with gender identity for a while, but figuring out my identity has been a recent thing and I have no plans of discussing it IRL friends/family.


----------



## cannedcommunism

Alyssa said:


> I'm pansexual and genderfluid (female/agender).
> 
> I've been out for a few years about my sexuality, but I avoid discussing it IRL due to an extremely bad experience coming out to some family members and mostly everyone at school (I dropped out for an entire semester if that gives you an idea of how bad it got).
> 
> I've struggled with gender identity for a while, but figuring out my identity has been a recent thing and I have no plans of discussing it IRL friends/family.


Well, I hope things get better for you. As long as you go with your gut, you'll be just fine.


----------



## Misuzurin

Surprisingly a lot of non binaries or perphas confused individuals on this site. Makes a tranny feel like a minority. Yes I am referring to myself.  

Anyway, coming out is hard for almost everyone. My hair is getting really long, losing all my muscle, breasts budding, skin softening and I still haven't told my parents I am transgender. Probably will have to before I get my orchiectomy.  Fun.


----------



## cannedcommunism

Misuzurin said:


> Surprisingly a lot of non binaries or perphas confused individuals on this site. Makes a tranny feel like a minority. Yes I am referring to myself.
> 
> Anyway, coming out is hard for almost everyone. My hair is getting really long, losing all my muscle, breasts budding, skin softening and I still haven't told my parents I am transgender. Probably will have to before I get my orchiectomy.  Fun.



I know, the only time I've ever mentioned being bi was to my best friend and on here. Both were kind of "I might be" and nobody really read the post I made here. I don't think it will be too much of a surprise though, but just to be safe, I haven't told anybody else IRL yet.

Also I hope things go well for you


----------



## radical6

i say im gay 24/7 and i use the word gay to describe evrything about me cuz Humor and people are still shocked at school that im gay as **** for girls . incredibl


----------



## radical6

Rip Leelah. She was a trans girl who recently committed suicide. She left a long suicide note basically explaining why she was doing this, and the source of it was her parents who forced her to take conversion therapy. Her last message was her parents was a simple **** you, and her parents have the nerve to misgender her in death. Hell, her mom even got her age wrong. I'm honestly disgusted, her school had ignored her identity and blatantly misgendered her. There's proof it was a suicide but everyone is calling it "she was walking and got hit by a train." yeah ****ing right. I'm so sorry girl, rest in power.


----------



## Zanessa

Rest in peace Leelah <3

I'm so angry.. like that mother is literal trash and I am not sorry about saying that.


----------



## BATOCTO

it's sad since Leelah Alcorn legitimately wanted to be happy but sadly her peers at school and her over religious parents abused her. also it pisses me off that her parents and the media are misgendering her even after death like how low can you go.


----------



## Aryxia

Parents that choose to deny their children reasonable happiness are absolutely vile and the fact that her mother refuses to even recognize that her daughter's death was a suicide is beyond me. It's just... she's your daughter. Even if you didn't agree with what she felt and what she wanted, the least you could do is treat her like a human and acknowledge her feelings as real, genuine emotion.

RIP Leelah. Hopefully there will be a better tomorrow.


----------



## sylveons

i have no idea what to say... leelah's parents were goddamn monsters. telling her she's "just going through a phase", neglecting her, putting her thru conversion therapy, refusing to let her transition, and even after she committed suicide they STILL continued to misgender her. hell, they even had the dignity to blatantly LIE about her death when she even left a suicide note on her blog, free for everyone to see. i'm so angry and i'm so sad.

rest in power, Leelah. you were a true Queen.


----------



## r a t

♡♡♡​


----------



## unintentional

justice said:


> Rip Leelah. She was a trans girl who recently committed suicide. She left a long suicide note basically explaining why she was doing this, and the source of it was her parents who forced her to take conversion therapy. Her last message was her parents was a simple **** you, and her parents have the nerve to misgender her in death. Hell, her mom even got her age wrong. I'm honestly disgusted, her school had ignored her identity and blatantly misgendered her. There's proof it was a suicide but everyone is calling it "she was walking and got hit by a train." yeah ****ing right. I'm so sorry girl, rest in power.



I just read the article and bawled.  People make me sick and I just want to hug everyone who needs it v~v


----------



## radical6

people are calling out leelah (after U know she's DEAD) for being anti otherkin. oh my god


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

Just read an article about Leelah, and personally I think it's disgusting that she and so many others are driven as far as suicide over things like this. Leelah's parents in particular have really went too far. Who continues to misgender their child even after she's just committed suicide over the fact that she's being misgendered? 
I really hope society as a whole learns something from all of this, as this really needs to stop. Why can't people be a little more accepting of others?

Rest in power, Leelah. <3


----------



## Bulbadragon

I'm so upset over this. Her parents won't even accept her in death. Actually, they won't even accept that she killed herself over their disgusting actions. They're calling it an accident. I hope that she's made a change now, like she wanted, and life will change for the better for trans people.

Rest in power.


----------



## Misuzurin

I'm not sure how I feel about trans teens killing themselves. Life is hard, especially for us transwomen. But if you are trans and reading this, you have to stay strong. I wasn't able to transition until this year and I just turned 21 in November. I was abused and belittled by my baptist raised step-father my entire freshman and sophomore years until I was kicked out of the house. Why those two years? Because he was finally convinced I was a ******. I refuse to talk to mom, to this day, since she wouldn't stand up for me. My friends didn't care about me in a few months either after I moved away. I locked away all that pain and tried to be the boy I was supposed to be for the next 5 years. It's the worst to feel completely unwanted due to something you can't control. I guess what I am trying to say is that once you get older and especially once you become financially independent, you can live the life you want. Things do get better. It may seem impossibly tough especially as a teen, but please, please don't kill yourself. 

 Kind a crappy way to spend my new year crying over a news story...


----------



## Princess Weeb

Misuzurin said:


> I'm not sure how I feel about trans teens killing themselves. Life is hard, especially for us transwomen. But if you are trans and reading this, you have to stay strong. I wasn't able to transition until this year and I just turned 21 in November. I was abused and belittled by my baptist raised step-father my entire freshman and sophomore years until I was kicked out of the house. Why those two years? Because he was finally convinced I was a ******. I refuse to talk to mom, to this day, since she wouldn't stand up for me. My friends didn't care about me in a few months either after I moved away. I locked away all that pain and tried to be the boy I was supposed to be for the next 5 years. It's the worst to feel completely unwanted due to something you can't control. I guess what I am trying to say is that once you get older and especially once you become financially independent, you can live the life you want. Things do get better. It may seem impossibly tough especially as a teen, but please, please don't kill yourself.
> 
> Kind a crappy way to spend my new year crying over a news story...



Even if our situations are similar, I don't think we can fully judge her or other people's situations and their motives behind self harm or suicide as a result. 

Some people are able to cope with abuse, some people have support networks, some are mentally and emotionally stronger than others and some people may not even be able to act on their feelings, whether that is seeking help or channeling their feelings into self hate and self harm. 

There are so many things that I am sure contributed to her decision, and it is clear that she really wanted that help and that change, but just couldn't find it. Time doesn't move as quickly as some people may think, and it looks as if she felt like she was in this sort of repetitive, pretty horrible cycle that would never end.


----------



## radical6

I mean even once you're grown up, trans women do face the danger of getting killed. Trans women, especially black trans women, have among the highest chances to be murdered. I felt like that also scared her, she was almost an adult and didn't want to deal with college and the loans because she knew her parents would not support her. All her other siblings had social media accounts and phones, she did not. They had photos of them posted everywhere, but her mom didn't put a single photo of her up. It's likely that her mom would care less about her on the streets once she was a grown adult either. She knew about the violence she could face, so I don't blame her. 

My parents refuse to talk about it, and I have come close to running away, but since one of my family members are close to dying I am staying for them. I don't hate my parents, but I do get very upset when they refuse to help me with my dysphoria. It's worse then they snoop through everything I own for any mention of gender to make sure I'm not "dwelling" on that stuff. I've felt hopeless at times too, but idk. My school friends are somewhat supportive I guess, they don't get it but at least they use my preferred name and pronouns. I look forward to seeing my doctor only because she is the only adult who understands and accepts me. Except she officially diagnosed me with gender dysphoria, but I dont think my parents have looked at my medical records lately. It's a bit worrying though.


----------



## Misuzurin

I didn't mean to stir the pot up so. :/ Of course I think it is a tragedy. The situation's progression is far from the girl's own fault. All I really meant to say is things get better, they did for me at least.


----------



## cannedcommunism

This is horrible. We as a society desperately need to change in order to stop losing teenagers like this.

Denying your child's gender identity or sexual orientation is inherently abusive. Sending your child to conversion therapy is inherently abusive. Treating your child with anything but unconditional love and respect is neglectful and unacceptable and if you cannot do so you should not become a parent. Intentionally misgendering a person, regardless of your relationship to them or your feelings towards them, is unacceptable. If you disagree you need to educate yourself because you are part of a problem that takes young trans lives every day. There is nothing more important than treating people with kindness and respect. Rest in power, Leelah.


----------



## Misuzurin

Btw if you want to read the news story. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2014/12/transgender-teen-commits-suicide-cites-christian-parents-in-blog/


----------



## NikoKing

I'm all in support of the LGBT community and those who embrace it as a lifestyle. Those who are hombophobic *******s can **** of f for all I care...


----------



## Princess Weeb

*To everyone who wants to support progression in the community after Leelah's death, if you can please go and sign some of the online petitions to do so. 

Petition to ban Conversion Therapy which seeks to pretty much mentally and emotionally harm young people into believing that their identity or their preferences are wrong and shameful: https://www.change.org/p/president-...nsgender-conversion-therapy?just_created=true

Petition to get Leelah's correct name on her headstone after people feared she would be buried in a suit and remembered by her family as her male birth name: https://www.change.org/p/carla-l-al...rance?after_sign_exp=member_sponsored_upsells

I imagine there are quite a few others so please post them if you think that they need supporting.*


----------



## Punchy-kun

Princess Weeb said:


> *To everyone who wants to support progression in the community after Leelah's death, if you can please go and sign some of the online petitions to do so.
> 
> Petition to ban Conversion Therapy which seeks to pretty much mentally and emotionally harm young people into believing that their identity or their preferences are wrong and shameful: https://www.change.org/p/president-...nsgender-conversion-therapy?just_created=true
> 
> Petition to get Leelah's correct name on her headstone after people feared she would be buried in a suit and remembered by her family as her male birth name: https://www.change.org/p/carla-l-al...rance?after_sign_exp=member_sponsored_upsells
> 
> I imagine there are quite a few others so please post them if you think that they need supporting.*



Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.)

About conversion therapy. Forcing someone to change never will help. A person only can change when he wants to. But I've got no problem with parents trying to explain their child(ren) something they're convinced is wrong. That's your right as a parent. That's education, something parents are giving way too little nowadays, and the results are obvious everywhere. Of course the end decisions go to the person itself, and someone who doesn't want to listen, you just eventually have to leave alone and just let do what they want.

This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.

I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.

You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.

Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.


----------



## Brackets

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.)
> 
> About conversion therapy. Forcing someone to change never will help. A person only can change when he wants to. But I've got no problem with parents trying to explain their child(ren) something they're convinced is wrong. That's your right as a parent. That's education, something parents are giving way too little nowadays, and the results are obvious everywhere. Of course the end decisions go to the person itself, and someone who doesn't want to listen, you just eventually have to leave alone and just let do what they want.
> 
> This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.
> 
> I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.
> 
> You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.
> 
> Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.



Please, someone has died. This is not the time to express your nonsense opinions. You have a misunderstanding of what gender is.


----------



## Mercedes

Halcyon said:


> my parents don't wanna use gender neutral terms/pronouns towards me and i'm scared as heck to tell the rest of my family :-(
> being in the closet sucks god...



Well it's not being in the closet you just wanna be called it them. You sould like a nobody that way. 
And every body needs to be loved <3
- - - Post Merge - - -

@punchy-kun. Your right! I could not agree with you more.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Annachie said:


> Please, someone has died. This is not the time to express your nonsense opinions. You have a misunderstanding of what gender is.



A gender is male and female. It also has to do with sexual reproduction parts. Also "nonsense" is wrong, it's his opinion and he I and think it's correct. Not "nonsense". Not trying to offend anyone but I think your A. male B. female; then If you wanna be opposite gender get a gender change. Not say I'm a boy! And have female parts.


----------



## lazuli

@ punchy-kun and luckypinch
*get out of here right now*

i now see how totally possible it is for people to be so HORRIBLE


----------



## Mercedes

computertrash said:


> @ punchy-kun and luckypinch
> *get out of here right now*
> 
> i now see how totally possible it is for people to be so HORRIBLE



How is it horrible??


----------



## Aradai

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.)
> 
> About conversion therapy. Forcing someone to change never will help. A person only can change when he wants to. But I've got no problem with parents trying to explain their child(ren) something they're convinced is wrong. That's your right as a parent. That's education, something parents are giving way too little nowadays, and the results are obvious everywhere. Of course the end decisions go to the person itself, and someone who doesn't want to listen, you just eventually have to leave alone and just let do what they want.
> 
> This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.
> 
> I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.
> 
> You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.
> 
> Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.


do you seriously have no decency? this girl *died* because her parents didn't accept her for who she was, the two people who are supposed to be there for her. how would you feel if you weren't accepted, and your peers said that "this isn't right, you need to be fixed"? 
of course she hated herself, because her parents made her feel that she'd live through this horrid never-ending cycle of never being what she truly wanted to be. honestly, you have got to cut this out.


----------



## Mercedes

Aradai said:


> do you seriously have no decency? this girl *died* because her parents didn't accept her for who she was, the two people who are supposed to be there for her. how would you feel if you weren't accepted, and your peers said that "this isn't right, you need to be fixed"?
> of course she hated herself, because her parents made her feel that she'd live through this horrid never-ending cycle of never being what she truly wanted to be. honestly, you have got to cut this out.


that boy!!! He just needed to learn not everyone is going to understand. I have nothing more to say..


----------



## lazuli

Luckypinch said:


> that boy!!! He just needed to learn not everyone is going to understand. I have nothing more to say..



*NO LEELAH IS A GIRL YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT*
leelah felt like a girl inside but was born a boy and her wanting acceptance was never fulfilled
HER PARENTS ERASED WHO SHE WAS WHEN THEY BURIED HER IN A SUIT AND PUT HER BIRTH NAME ON HER GRAVESTONE
IM P SURE HER MOM GOT HER AGE WRONG????


----------



## Punchy-kun

Guys, please calm down... I shared my opinion, which you don't have to agree with. No need to get angry, hateful or calling names.


----------



## Brackets

computertrash said:


> *NO LEELAH IS A GIRL YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT*
> leelah felt like a girl inside but was born a boy and her wanting acceptance was never fulfilled
> HER PARENTS ERASED WHO SHE WAS WHEN THEY BURIED HER IN A SUIT AND PUT HER BIRTH NAME ON HER GRAVESTONE
> IM P SURE HER MOM GOT HER AGE WRONG????



seriously try not to get upset by those two. I think they're quite young and they post a lot of bull****. It's best just to ignore them I guess.


----------



## Mercedes

computertrash said:


> *NO LEELAH IS A GIRL YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT*
> leelah felt like a girl inside but was born a boy and her wanting acceptance was never fulfilled
> HER PARENTS ERASED WHO SHE WAS WHEN THEY BURIED HER IN A SUIT AND PUT HER BIRTH NAME ON HER GRAVESTONE
> IM P SURE HER MOM GOT HER AGE WRONG????


No it was there child. They should have burryed him in a suit. He was 17. And his parents called him what ever his real name is. So they should  have done that. AND I DINT UNDERSTAND HOW UR A BOY AND WANNA BE A GIRL??!


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

Punchy-kun said:


> Guys, please calm down... I shared my opinion, which you don't have to agree with. No need to get angry, hateful or calling names.



Yes, you're giving your opinion, but this is supposed to be a support thread, so if your opinion isn't particularly supporting of the Current topic of discussion, it obviously isn't going to go down very well.


----------



## Mercedes

Annachie said:


> seriously try not to get upset by those two. I think they're quite young and they post a lot of bull****. It's best just to ignore them I guess.



Sorry? No I don't.


----------



## Brackets

Luckypinch said:


> No it was there child. They should have burryed him in a suit. He was 17. And his parents called him what ever his real name is. So they should  have done that. AND I DINT UNDERSTAND HOW UR A BOY AND WANNA BE A GIRL??!



If you don't understand, then don't post in a thread for LGBT _support _
You're being very disrespectful and are upsetting people.


----------



## Mercedes

TheCreeperHugz said:


> Yes, you're giving your opinion, but this is supposed to be a support thread, so if your opinion isn't particularly supporting of the Current topic of discussion, it obviously isn't going to go down very well.



You do have a point.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Annachie said:


> If you don't understand, then don't post in a thread for LGBT _support _
> You're being very disrespectful and are upsetting people.



How am I being disrespectful? I do understand. It's my opinion and I can express it. But I'm leaving before I get banned so yeah.


----------



## lazuli

Luckypinch said:


> No it was there child. They should have burryed him in a suit. He was 17. And his parents called him what ever his real name is. So they should  have done that. AND I DINT UNDERSTAND HOW UR A BOY AND WANNA BE A GIRL??!



they shold have buried her in a dress or whatever she would have liked. you dont understand ANYTHING ever.




Luckypinch said:


> Sorry? No I don't.



no you do



Luckypinch said:


> How am I being disrespectful? I do understand. It's my opinion and I can express it. But I'm leaving before I get banned so yeah.



lets see
there are trans* people on this site and youre saying that its basically leelah's fault and lots of people are uncomfortable with that. bad opinion. i think itd be best if you just left this thread forever.


aanchie- i get worked up about things really easily so sorry


----------



## Punchy-kun

TheCreeperHugz said:


> Yes, you're giving your opinion, but this is supposed to be a support thread, so if your opinion isn't particularly supporting of the Current topic of discussion, it obviously isn't going to go down very well.



The thread title does say "Discussion and support". And making a new thread to voice my opinion does seem a bit too far fetched. Also, I didn't insult anyone, but Annachie rightaway has made several in a few of her posts, which go against the statement made in the first post of this thread. So it's rather her breaking a "rule" than I am, I believe.


----------



## r a t

There are other genders than just male and female, saying how 'you can only be either male or female' may be seen as disrespectful. Please be aware that there's agender, genderfluid and many more.


----------



## Brackets

Punchy-kun said:


> The thread title does say "Discussion and support". And making a new thread to voice my opinion does seem a bit too far fetched. Also, I didn't insult anyone, but Annachie rightaway has made several in a few of her posts, which go against the statement in made in the first post of this thread. So it's rather her breaking a "rule" than I am, I believe.



You and lucky-pinch weren't 'discussing' you were downright being rude and offensive. Maybe you don't understand that, but you were. Ok and let's see how many people think I was being ruder than you, hmm??

- - - Post Merge - - -



computertrash said:


> aanchie- i get worked up about things really easily so sorry



awwh no need to apologise, i just don't think they're really worth it... nothing is going to make them understand.


----------



## Punchy-kun

Annachie said:


> You and lucky-pinch weren't 'discussing' you were downright being rude and offensive. Maybe you don't understand that, but you were. Ok and let's see how many people think I was being ruder than you, hmm??



Why don't you make a list of all the INSULTS you made after I posted my reply. I believe I made none. Yes, I may have thad different opinions that may lead to feeling offended but that's not being rude. Your insults were calling my opinion "nonsense". You called me "quite young" aka immature for the sole reason of having a different opinion and you said I post a lot of "bull****", which is just opinions you disagree with.

If I made an insult please quote me on it.


----------



## Mercedes

Annachie said:


> You and lucky-pinch weren't 'discussing' you were downright being rude and offensive. Maybe you don't understand that, but you were. Ok and let's see how many people think I was being ruder than you, hmm??
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> awwh no need to apologise, i just don't think they're really worth it... nothing is going to make them understand.


Your just viewing things one sided. And I'm not. I just don't think I should say how I feel??? I mean really your being Ruder.


----------



## Brackets

Punchy-kun said:


> Why don't you make a list of all the INSULTS you made after I posted my reply. I believe I made none. Yes, I may have thad different opinions that may lead to feeling offended but that's not being rude. Your insults were calling my opinion "nonsense". You called me "quite young" aka immature for the sole reason of having a different opinion and you said I post a lot of "bull****", which is just opinions you disagree with.
> 
> If I made an insult please quote me on it.



I have not been rude, you were the one disrespecting trans people and a girls who's just died, ON A LGBT THREAD. Yes everyone has opinions, but there is a time and a place for certain opinions.


----------



## Flop

And (let's say it together) _this is why this thread gets closed on a regular basis._


----------



## Princess Weeb

Flop said:


> And (let's say it together) _this is why this thread gets closed on a regular basis._



If I could swear on here jfc this thing would be constantly closed
Not sure why I was quoted by the person first either, seen as my post had nothing to do with their reply at all.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Punchy-kun said:


> Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.)
> 
> About conversion therapy. Forcing someone to change never will help. A person only can change when he wants to. But I've got no problem with parents trying to explain their child(ren) something they're convinced is wrong. That's your right as a parent. That's education, something parents are giving way too little nowadays, and the results are obvious everywhere. Of course the end decisions go to the person itself, and someone who doesn't want to listen, you just eventually have to leave alone and just let do what they want.
> 
> This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.
> 
> I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.
> 
> You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.
> 
> Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.



Please learn the difference between sex and gender, also.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I suppose this is the first and only time I've ever said this to anyone, actually, but I did struggle (very minimally) with my gender identity when I was younger. 
I've always been bigger in every way I suppose to other girls around me. I was always taller, I hit puberty first, I'm louder, a little bit heavier and all that jazz too. Having very very dark hair naturally (probably something to do with the mishmash of races that I am/I have very pale skin against that very dark hair) I always had pretty thick hair and eyebrows on my face/arms/legs etc, and my voice was pretty low for someone my age. It was around the time that I started to wear makeup, but it was a rare thing really, too. 

It wasn't the main insult, but people always used to doubt my femininity. Even teachers would mock my deeper voice (I didn't sound masculine at all really, it was just different I suppose) and I hated the fact that I was pretty much flat as a pancake in the chest region. All of my friends had always been and still for the most part are guys, because other females intimidate me. Except for the sport stereotypes, I think I conformed to quite a lot more male gender roles than I realised. It was a very short thing, but I really started to wonder whether people were right, whether I was meant to be a guy. It probably didn't help that I had a younger brother who I felt most of my family favourited, and that I just knew that I was different. 

I'm undeniably still really unsure of how to feel about myself really. I think I've come to accept the fact that I was born female and I don't think that there is anything really pushing me enough to want to transition. It's a very weird feeling. If we all weren't surrounded by so much stereotyping and so many pressures I think my decision may have been easier and quicker.


 I can't even begin to fathom how people who strongly want to transition would feel, it must be so horrible. It's so unlike anything else. If you hate your body, usually you can do something about it without judgement. If you smoke or drink or overeat, sure the process of stopping is hard, but there is support there. It's not like losing excess weight, it's totally different. It's a burden that stays with you forever, as I imagine you still have to tell partners and new friends in the future that you are transgender, unlike someone telling a friend or partner that they had a problem in their earlier life.

(I do apologise in advance if any of that sounds insensitive or is weirdly phrased, it's a really difficult thing to explain ahah)


----------



## nard

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.)
> 
> About conversion therapy. Forcing someone to change never will help. A person only can change when he wants to. But I've got no problem with parents trying to explain their child(ren) something they're convinced is wrong. That's your right as a parent. That's education, something parents are giving way too little nowadays, and the results are obvious everywhere. Of course the end decisions go to the person itself, and someone who doesn't want to listen, you just eventually have to leave alone and just let do what they want.
> 
> This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.
> 
> I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.
> 
> You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.
> 
> Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.



How could you say something like this? Just because you're religious ( Which I have heard somewhere? Maybe on this thread, I don't know. ) doesn't mean that you can't accept transgenders. I have a friend on here who is religious, yet they accept gays and other things like that. Think about others peoples feelings for once. How would you like it if you felt like you didn't fit in because of how YOU were? Wouldn't be nice.


Rest in power Leelah. You WILL be remembered.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.).. etc it takes up too much space to fully quote you lol ff



requoting again because it still needs it 

*"You cannot change who you physically are"* - Have you heard of makeup? Plastic surgery?
*"The only thing that can be changed is your sexual orientation" *- er no I *sigh* 

I don't wake up in the morning and decide that I'm pansexual. I don't decide who I like. I don't force myself to find certain features or people attractive, it just happens. You can't change your sexual orientation, you just understand it better, really. 

*"Even with a physical gender change they would still be the same"* - Not in law m8tey sorry about that. Say if they listed your hair colour on your records or something. Say I dye my blonde hair black. You can't call me blonde anymore, because I'm not. You're an idiot if you call me blonde and my hair is black. But you could say I'm naturally blonde. That is the same as if Leelah had said that she was transgender. She was born male, but after transitioning, she would have been in every way female. 

Not even going to try with the parents stuff because lets face it, some adults are idiots, including her parents.


----------



## lazuli

destroy cis/heteronormativity

religion: says to be kind and help other
person of the religion: physically/mentally abuse someone, make them feel terrible, push them to the edge of killing themselves, etc all because theyre different
religion: wtf bruh i didnt say to do that


----------



## Princess Weeb

computertrash said:


> destroy cis/heteronormativity
> 
> religion: says to be kind and help other
> person of the religion: physically/mentally abuse someone, make them feel terrible, push them to the edge of killing themselves, etc all because theyre different
> religion: wtf bruh i didnt say to do that



"13If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them. "

I don't think we can say religion has always fully preached messages that are fully acceptable today let's be honest ahah


----------



## oath2order

Annachie said:


> If you don't understand, then don't post in a thread for LGBT _support _
> You're being very disrespectful and are upsetting people.



If it's for support, then explain it to her. Lucky clearly doesn't understand how being trans works.How about you actually take the time to explain it instead of being rude.



Luckypinch said:


> No it was there child. They should have burryed him in a suit. He was 17. And his parents called him what ever his real name is. So they should  have done that. *AND I DINT UNDERSTAND HOW UR A BOY AND WANNA BE A GIRL??!*


----------



## BungoTheElf

Luckypinch said:


> Sorry? No I don't.



you posted this yesterday


Luckypinch said:


> It does look like a penis omg lmao Lmao lmao omfg and I just said penis lmao this is fun yet than the word diabetes
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Ohhhhhmmmmgggg kinky





Annachie said:


> I have not been rude, you were the one disrespecting trans people and a girls who's just died, ON A LGBT THREAD. Yes everyone has opinions, but there is a time and a place for certain opinions.


 bless you.




Luckypinch said:


> Also "nonsense" is wrong, it's his opinion and he I and think it's correct. Not "nonsense".



I think salami is the best kind of soap and my cousin and I think its correct wow i guess it must not be nonsense right. 



Punchy-kun said:


> This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.
> 
> I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.
> 
> You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.
> 
> Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.



SHE hated her parents because they couldn't accept that she was a girl and that they didn't support her, not because of her parents' chromosomes and that she was born as a guy, did you even read her suicide note?? Leelah did not want to be a girl she_ is_ a girl, she herself said she felt like a girl trapped in a boy's body. She wanted to be called Leelah and be REFERRED to as female because she is a female.

 Does physically really matter um what happened to it's what's inside that counts lmao


Also can we respect the dead please and refer to her as she would have wanted to be??
I'd say more but my words usually become more opinion based and I can get really angry okk lol


----------



## Frances-Simoun

Oh bummer and here I expected and nice thread for us :I There's always have to be someone who ruins it. Sheesh


----------



## Chris

Time to dial it back guys. 

All attacking one user, even if you're offended or upset by their comment, is not helpful nor is it going to miraculously change their opinion. Although you might see something as rude and disrespectful, that person is still entitled to have a differing opinion from yours and they are still allowed to express it. The more you argue with them trying to change their views, the harder they're going to push back because they don't want you forcing your point of view on them either. If someone doesn't understand something, try to not be insulting or condescending in your response because that's just going to (and is what) lead them to retaliate. If they still don't agree with you after, then agree to disagree and stop pushing the issue. Continuing to argue past this stage is pointless.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Sorry to hear so many of you guys had the holiday coming out blues.  Hopefully if your parents/ family reacted negatively, they'll understand someday. Sometimes it just takes time. 

May Leelah Alcorn rest in peace.


----------



## Zanessa

IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_> 
But, anyways..

So me and my two friends were invited to my crush's sleepover, and when I asked my mom, she got really suspicious and hesitant. T_T
The problem with this for me is that the most we can even do is kiss since we'll have friends there... like.. mom, I can't get pregnant or anything.. T_________T
Had to lie about who was going just to let her let me go. If I have to deal with this every time there's a friend gathering with my crush and other friends, I will slice and dice her opinions and serve them to the devil. 

And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions; 
1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)

and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.

Great job, mom.


----------



## Brackets

ZanessaGaily said:


> IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_>



Exactly - and I don't see why we have to be nice and 'help them understand' if they are being quite confrontational and opinionated from the onset. 
I'm really sorry to hear that about your mom  I hope she becomes more understanding as time goes on.


----------



## r a t

ZanessaGaily said:


> IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_>
> But, anyways..
> 
> So me and my two friends were invited to my crush's sleepover, and when I asked my mom, she got really suspicious and hesitant. T_T
> The problem with this for me is that the most we can even do is kiss since we'll have friends there... like.. mom, I can't get pregnant or anything.. T_________T
> Had to lie about who was going just to let her let me go. If I have to deal with this every time there's a friend gathering with my crush and other friends, I will slice and dice her opinions and serve them to the devil.
> 
> And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions;
> 1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
> 2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)
> 
> and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.
> 
> Great job, mom.



I really don't understand how a parent can treat their child differently just beacuse of their sexuality/gender. Your mom should love you no matter what and should support your choices. I hope you had a nice time at the sleepover though, my dad is pretty overprotective when it comes to boys - even just hanging out with them - he asks sooo many questions, so I understand how it can be annoying.. just as other people could. D:


----------



## oath2order

Annachie said:


> Exactly - and I don't see why we have to be nice and 'help them understand' if they are being quite confrontational and opinionated from the onset.



Seriously? Not willing to explain how trans works to people? The whole point of support in the LGBT community is to educate the uneducated on this, gain supporters, not bash people and hate refuse to explain things to them.


----------



## Brackets

oath2order said:


> Seriously? Not willing to explain how trans works to people? The whole point of support in the LGBT community is to educate the uneducated on this, gain supporters, not bash people and hate refuse to explain things to them.



If they come in with an open mind, then yes of course. But they just came in and stated their opinions.


----------



## Beary

Let me just say this simply.

Gender is what you IDENTIFY as, what you FEEL you are. For example, I have a sister who is physically a girl, but she identifies as neither gender.
Sex is what you PHYSICALLY are, regarding your sexual organs. Someone can be a boy but feel like a girl, or the other way round.

Transgender is, quoting an article, "An umbrella term that refers to those with identities that cross over, move between, or otherwise challenge the socially constructed border between the genders."

On the other hand, transsexual is "A term referring to a person who does not identify with the sex they were assigned at birth and wishes, whether successful or not, to realign their gender and their sex through use of medical intervention." 

There is a difference, and these people have a right to prefer being called 'him' or 'her', or even 'them'. 
They have a right to be who they want to be.


----------



## Princess Weeb

ZanessaGaily said:


> And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions;
> 1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
> 2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)
> 
> and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.
> 
> Great job, mom.



I don't understand some parents... Like literally how can you make and then carry a child for nearly a year, pour every moment you can into raising that child and then treat them horribly for one minor detail that has literally no effect on them, except maybe the absence of fully biologically related grandchildren. (Even then some straight couples adopt/use other methods/don't have kids)

It's ridiculous. I'm pretty certain the benefits of having a happy and loving relationship with your child outweigh some people's selfish needs to keep themselves popular with their friends and family because some people might react badly to their child's lifestyle. 

I second Annachie's message, I really hope she becomes more understanding or sees the effect that it may have on your relationship with her.


----------



## Trundle

Princess Weeb said:


> If I could swear on here jfc this thing would be constantly closed
> Not sure why I was quoted by the person first either, seen as my post had nothing to do with their reply at all.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Please learn the difference between sex and gender, also.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> I suppose this is the first and only time I've ever said this to anyone, actually, but I did struggle (very minimally) with my gender identity when I was younger.
> I've always been bigger in every way I suppose to other girls around me. I was always taller, I hit puberty first, I'm louder, a little bit heavier and all that jazz too. Having very very dark hair naturally (probably something to do with the mishmash of races that I am/I have very pale skin against that very dark hair) I always had pretty thick hair and eyebrows on my face/arms/legs etc, and my voice was pretty low for someone my age. It was around the time that I started to wear makeup, but it was a rare thing really, too.
> 
> It wasn't the main insult, but people always used to doubt my femininity. Even teachers would mock my deeper voice (I didn't sound masculine at all really, it was just different I suppose) and I hated the fact that I was pretty much flat as a pancake in the chest region. All of my friends had always been and still for the most part are guys, because other females intimidate me. Except for the sport stereotypes, I think I conformed to quite a lot more male gender roles than I realised. It was a very short thing, but I really started to wonder whether people were right, whether I was meant to be a guy. It probably didn't help that I had a younger brother who I felt most of my family favourited, and that I just knew that I was different.
> 
> I'm undeniably still really unsure of how to feel about myself really. I think I've come to accept the fact that I was born female and I don't think that there is anything really pushing me enough to want to transition. It's a very weird feeling. If we all weren't surrounded by so much stereotyping and so many pressures I think my decision may have been easier and quicker.
> 
> 
> I can't even begin to fathom how people who strongly want to transition would feel, it must be so horrible. It's so unlike anything else. If you hate your body, usually you can do something about it without judgement. If you smoke or drink or overeat, sure the process of stopping is hard, but there is support there. It's not like losing excess weight, it's totally different. It's a burden that stays with you forever, as I imagine you still have to tell partners and new friends in the future that you are transgender, unlike someone telling a friend or partner that they had a problem in their earlier life.
> 
> (I do apologise in advance if any of that sounds insensitive or is weirdly phrased, it's a really difficult thing to explain ahah)



I don't think you understand gender identity very well. You're basically saying that you have a bit more testosterone than some girls and your insecurities make you want to hang around guys instead of girls. All you're really saying is that you might want to change as a means of fitting in. I feel a lot of people have it the wrong way. 
Feel free to disagree with me, I'm open to others' opinions and views. Just make sure you support your argument


----------



## Princess Weeb

Trundle said:


> I don't think you understand gender identity very well. You're basically saying that you have a bit more testosterone than some girls and your insecurities make you want to hang around guys instead of girls. All you're really saying is that you might want to change as a means of fitting in. I feel a lot of people have it the wrong way.
> Feel free to disagree with me, I'm open to others' opinions and views. Just make sure you support your argument



I can't really argue with you, because I don't really understand it myself, if I'm honest.
(By that I don't mean gender identity as a whole, I mean my feelings on my own identity)


----------



## Trundle

Princess Weeb said:


> I can't really argue with you, because I don't really understand it myself, if I'm honest.
> (By that I don't mean gender identity as a whole, I mean my feelings on my own identity)



That's fine, I don't really understand it either. I wish you luck in finding yourself


----------



## Aryxia

I'm just going to leave this here:





Misgendering Hurts. Misgendering Kills. At the end of the day, trans* people are still people, and they deserve to be respected just as much as anyone else. End. Of. Story.

- - - Post Merge - - -



ZanessaGaily said:


> IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_>
> But, anyways..
> 
> So me and my two friends were invited to my crush's sleepover, and when I asked my mom, she got really suspicious and hesitant. T_T
> The problem with this for me is that the most we can even do is kiss since we'll have friends there... like.. mom, I can't get pregnant or anything.. T_________T
> Had to lie about who was going just to let her let me go. If I have to deal with this every time there's a friend gathering with my crush and other friends, I will slice and dice her opinions and serve them to the devil.
> 
> And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions;
> 1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
> 2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)
> 
> and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.
> 
> Great job, mom.



I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Hopefully she'll learn to be more accepting, but just remember that the family you choose is more important than the one you were born into.


----------



## radical6

Jesus Christ I brought up leelah to mourn her. I haven't heard about how they're burying her but I hope not as a man. There was another trans woman who was presented as a man in her casket. It was honestly disgusting.

It makes me wonder how my own family would react. They refuse to believe that I'm trans even though I've even been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, they just refuse to accept it. I do secretly dress androgynous or butch to school and when I'm out with friends, but I have to be very sneaky about it. Even when I wore a tie for my school jazz band (which was an option for everyone because we had to wear red) my mom freaked out. I guess this is why I have arguments with my family about hiding stuff. Because I have to, cuz they won't accept it. I'm very sick of people telling me "it's ur mom she sees U as her daughter and baby!" Sorry, I don't care. I've been asking some of my male friends for some clothes since we're about the same size, but I'm a bit hesitant on how I would wear it. I suppose I could change in the bathroom before school started, and change back before I go home. I feel a lot more comfortable in more gender neutral clothes anyway.


----------



## Aryxia

justice said:


> Jesus Christ I brought up leelah to mourn her. I haven't heard about how they're burying her but I hope not as a man. There was another trans woman who was presented as a man in her casket. It was honestly disgusting.
> 
> It makes me wonder how my own family would react. They refuse to believe that I'm trans even though I've even been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, they just refuse to accept it. I do secretly dress androgynous or butch to school and when I'm out with friends, but I have to be very sneaky about it. Even when I wore a tie for my school jazz band (which was an option for everyone because we had to wear red) my mom freaked out. I guess this is why I have arguments with my family about hiding stuff. Because I have to, cuz they won't accept it. I'm very sick of people telling me "it's ur mom she sees U as her daughter and baby!" Sorry, I don't care. I've been asking some of my male friends for some clothes since we're about the same size, but I'm a bit hesitant on how I would wear it. I suppose I could change in the bathroom before school started, and change back before I go home. I feel a lot more comfortable in more gender neutral clothes anyway.



They buried her in a suit under a tombstone with her birth name. And I'm sorry to hear about your parents. I wish I could offer some comfort, but I have no idea how to ^.^;;


----------



## radical6

Aryxia said:


> They buried her in a suit under a tombstone with her birth name.


Her mom is truly pathetic then. I feel no pity for her. Maybe it's a bit unforgiving to say this, but I hope she lives with the guilt that she was the cause of her daughters suicide. For her to act like she actually cared when she ignored Leelah the most out of all her siblings is disgusting. I hope it eats her alive, and that the guilt never washes away.  Her daughters blood is on her hands, despite how much she wants to spin the story as "she just got ran over by a truck while walking okay!" I hope her siblings will speak out about it, since Leelah seemed to be on better terms with them.


----------



## Beary

My stepsister used to live with her mom until it got too much for her. Her mom couldn't stand that she was trans, and would cry whenever my stepsister mentioned it, saying "I don't want another son!"
Damn, woman, get used to it.
My stepsister loves ties and suits, and we don't judge her for it. She's an amazing sister.
It makes me sad when people's parents don't want to believe that their child is trans. It's cruel.


----------



## radical6

Beary said:


> My stepsister used to live with her mom until it got too much for her. Her mom couldn't stand that she was trans, and would cry whenever my stepsister mentioned it, saying "I don't want another son!"
> Damn, woman, get used to it.
> My stepsister loves ties and suits, and we don't judge her for it. She's an amazing sister.
> It makes me sad when people's parents don't want to believe that their child is trans. It's cruel.


Uh I'm assuming your stepsibling is a trans man then?? Wouldn't you want to say stepbrother... just saying


----------



## Beary

justice said:


> Uh I'm assuming your stepsibling is a trans man then?? Wouldn't you want to say stepbrother... just saying



She identifies as neither, but she doesn't mind being called a she.


----------



## radical6

Beary said:


> She identifies as neither, but she doesn't mind being called a she.



Ahh okay just was a bit confused :^) so nb then? That's cool, my moms a bit like that but she's more saying "plz just relax and be a kid!!11"


----------



## Princess Weeb

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/12/31/us/ohio-transgender-teen-suicide/index.html This makes me very angry : )))
Also doesn't it say there that they didn't have a service and I can't find where they said she was buried and referred to as a male tho? Idk 
Either way I hope someone goes and swaps out her headstone for one with her preferred pronouns/name on it


----------



## Aryxia

justice said:


> Her mom is truly pathetic then. I feel no pity for her. Maybe it's a bit unforgiving to say this, but I hope she lives with the guilt that she was the cause of her daughters suicide. For her to act like she actually cared when she ignored Leelah the most out of all her siblings is disgusting. I hope it eats her alive, and that the guilt never washes away.  Her daughters blood is on her hands, despite how much she wants to spin the story as "she just got ran over by a truck while walking okay!" I hope her siblings will speak out about it, since Leelah seemed to be on better terms with them.





I don't think she will, and that's what tears me up about the whole situation. Like how can do that to your own child? No one even knows if God is real or not, and I don't see how anyone can justify using religion as a vessel  for hate. Seriously, every church I've been to has had regular attendance from LGBTQIA+ people, and I'm ****ing Catholic, not united, so it's no.****ing.excuse. What gives anyone the right to torture someone based on who they are for something that we can't even confirm as real?? You can argue that it was their right as a parent as much as you want, but the fact of the matter is, denying Leelah her gender rights is equivalent to denying her mother her religious rights.


----------



## oath2order

Princess Weeb said:


> http://edition.cnn.com/2014/12/31/us/ohio-transgender-teen-suicide/index.html This makes me very angry : )))
> Also doesn't it say there that they didn't have a service and I can't find where they said she was buried and referred to as a male tho? Idk
> Either way I hope someone goes and swaps out her headstone for one with her preferred pronouns/name on it



Kind of positive that's illegal


----------



## Princess Weeb

oath2order said:


> Kind of positive that's illegal



oh well #yolo


----------



## Cory

justice said:


> When it doesn't affect them, they think it's funny to poke at. It's quite annoying to deal with tbh because they think everyone else will know they're joking.



Your icon is incredibly ableist to people like me who have monochromacy. Decolonize your mind.


----------



## radical6

Cory said:


> Your icon is incredibly ableist to people like me who have monochromacy. Decolonize your mind.



bruh did u just respond to an old post for no reason other than to make an offtopic joke


----------



## Cory

justice said:


> bruh did u just respond to an old post for no reason other than to make an offtopic joke



I was reading through and your avatar is offending me. I demand that you change it.


----------



## Mercedes

I actually feel awful! I did some research on the topic, and I had no idea that some to almost all cases a linked to a disorder. 
I mean..she knew who she was. ;-; I am an awful person..I never understood. I wish Leelahs mother would have been more consider it..


----------



## radical6

Cory said:


> I was reading through and your avatar is offending me. I demand that you change it.



Sorry, this isn't really the time to make "lol haha sjws r offended by everything im gonna counter them with some bs argument to prove them wrong lol >:333". If it has nothing to do with LGBTQIA+ cuz u know this isn't the ableism thread, and I'd rather not see this thread get locked again


----------



## Beary

Luckypinch said:


> I actually feel awful! I did some research on the topic, and I had no idea that some to almost all cases a linked to a disorder.
> I mean..she knew who she was. ;-; I am an awful person..I never understood. I wish Leelahs mother would have been more consider it..



It's not a disorder, it is who they are.


----------



## radical6

Luckypinch said:


> I actually feel awful! I did some research on the topic, and I had no idea that some to almost all cases a linked to a disorder.
> I mean..she knew who she was. ;-; I am an awful person..I never understood. I wish Leelahs mother would have been more consider it..



its ok


----------



## Pathetic

Cory said:


> Your icon is incredibly ableist to people like me who have monochromacy. Decolonize your mind.



whjat are oyu doing here lol


----------



## Cory

problem said:


> whjat are oyu doing here lol



Please decolonize your mind before you speak to me like that


----------



## radical6

Beary said:


> It's not a disorder, it is who they are.



some people believe that transgender  = dysphoria cuz its sometimes referred to as gender identity disorder, but yeah its not a disorder though dysphoria is one i believe

however some believe that anyway because they think dysphoria is required to be trans


----------



## KarlaKGB

Beary said:


> It's not a disorder, it is who they are.



If ur mind functions differently to how ur body intends then it's a disorder. U can't possibly say it's normal for a girl to be born into a boys body. Disorders r disorders, it has nothing to do with what is societally acceptable.


----------



## Pathetic

KarlaKGB said:


> If ur mind functions differently to how ur body intends then it's a disorder. U can't possibly say it's normal for a girl to be born into a boys body. Disorders r disorders, it has nothing to do with what is societally acceptable.



ok


----------



## radical6

problem said:


> ok



okay first u copy my sig and icon and then my communosm and then my lifestyle and rhen my ironic hymor quote i have copyright on this plz stop 

ok on brighter news i might be getting some ties from my friend omg ilov him so much hes so sweet :^)))


----------



## Pathetic

justice said:


> okay first u copy my sig and icon and then my communosm and then my lifestyle and rhen my ironic hymor quote i have copyright on this plz stop
> 
> ok on brighter news i might be getting some ties from my friend omg ilov him so much hes so sweet :^)))



we r lovers


----------



## Beary

KarlaKGB said:


> If ur mind functions differently to how ur body intends then it's a disorder. U can't possibly say it's normal for a girl to be born into a boys body. Disorders r disorders, it has nothing to do with what is societally acceptable.



I technically have a disorder, but I don't like to think of it that way. It literally means, 'not order', or not normal. 
It doesn't sound right.


----------



## radical6

problem said:


> we r lovers



stp shsitposting  bxtc

GSA starts at my school i think and i hav to be president and idk how im going to do anythin im going to die lol. mayb hoping that the cute girl will go to the gsa and i learn shes gay and we can go out ok this is my dream :^)))) its so hard 2 find out if girls r gay or not okay cuz u cant just tell them or theyre like freaked out forever and no one wants to be by u in the locker rooms cuz they think ur gonna stare at them and wanna date them when u prob find them ugly/average


----------



## Alyssa

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.)
> 
> About conversion therapy. Forcing someone to change never will help. A person only can change when he wants to. But I've got no problem with parents trying to explain their child(ren) something they're convinced is wrong. That's your right as a parent. That's education, something parents are giving way too little nowadays, and the results are obvious everywhere. Of course the end decisions go to the person itself, and someone who doesn't want to listen, you just eventually have to leave alone and just let do what they want.
> 
> This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.
> 
> I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.
> 
> You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.
> 
> Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.



Sex and gender are not the same thing. Gender is a social construct, and has to do with the way you feel and want to personally identify as. It has nothing to do with your sexual organs, expression, etc. 

Parents do NOT have the right to impose their own beliefs on their children. There is a very big difference between teaching your child morals, and then shoving your ideas down their throat. Just like with religion, sexual orientation, etc. a parent should not be able to prevent their child from having their own harmless ideas and beliefs. It's not like Leelah was trying to justify killing a person. All she wanted was for her parents to use pronouns that she was comfortable with and allow her to transition.

Also, why should her birth name be on *HER* grave? It is hers after all, she should definitely have a say regarding it, just as much as she should have a say regarding her own life choices. Leelah was practically a grown adult. It is entirely reasonable to put the name Leelah wanted to be addressed by on her grave. 

And also, yes you can change your sex with surgery and hormone treatment.

She did not die because she hated herself, she clearly stated that she hated the way her parents treated her and did not want to be unhappy the rest of her life because she feared not being able to fully transition at a certain age(which she was misinformed on, so that is another thing that people should be more educated on). Clearly her parents did not care much about her, I mean her mother sugar coated the event that took place in her Facebook post and then didn't even list her correct age.

--

Also, being transgender is not necessarily related to a mental disorder. Some people have dysphoria which is still considered a mental illness, but that is so that transgender people have access to medical care (if needed).

Homosexuality was also considered a mental illness at one point. It was removed once people became more educated about it, which is the issue here - lack of education.


----------



## KarlaKGB

Beary said:


> I technically have a disorder, but I don't like to think of it that way. It literally means, 'not order', or not normal.
> It doesn't sound right.



thats up to how u and others view the disorder. its a disorder, and its not normal. whether or not its right or wrong has nothing to do with it.


----------



## Astro Cake

I expected this thread to be bad, but not this bad.


----------



## BlooBelle

There's been a lot of hostility spreading around the forums today. I hope it will be gone tomorrow, there have been so many nasty threads today! :<
How Leelah's mother has been treating her is disgusting. I hope when the guilt starts to settle in that she comes to terms with her daughter, even if it's only in memory. Rest in power. <3


----------



## Tinkalila

this thread is so bad. why is there even allowed to be a "discussion" thread for this. not exactly up for discussion.


----------



## BlooBelle

Tinkalila said:


> this thread is so bad. why is there even allowed to be a "discussion" thread for this. not exactly up for discussion.



What do you mean? Of course there will be some arguments that pop up, but this thread is usually a very positive and supportive place.


----------



## DarkOnyx

What's all this talk about Lellah and her mom? Did I miss something?


----------



## Mercedes

DarkOnyx said:


> What's all this talk about Lellah and her mom? Did I miss something?



Lellahs mom is a *****. She was born as a boy and knew she was female (lellah)
She killed herself. (Lellah) Her parents put her birth name on her grave stone, and was burryed in a tux.


----------



## Lady Timpani

DarkOnyx said:


> What's all this talk about Lellah and her mom? Did I miss something?



A trans girl named Leelah Alcorn recently committed suicide because her parents forced her to go to conversion therapy in order to "fix her". She left a suicide note on her tumblr detailing what she went through because of her parents, and it gained a lot of attention pretty fast. A lot of people are displeased with her parents for what they did to Leelah and their actions after her death (namely that damn Facebook post where she didn't even get her age right) and have contacted them to let them know. 

Honestly I feel that's barely scratching the surface because her suicide has led to a lot of discussion within the LGBT community about how trans women are treated (they are more likely than any of us, especially if they're WOC, to be targeted by bigots/ transphobes and people who want to harm them) and also conversion therapy in general. But that's what the basic story is.


----------



## hulaburger

We just lost a life. Leelah's story makes me so sad. It struck a chor I think everyone here should be able to empathize on some level about not accepted for who they are. if ur lgbt anyway which is what this topic is about.

> Good luck keeping this thread civil, the past ones never lived for very long.
lol


----------



## Tinkalila

BlooBelle said:


> What do you mean? Of course there will be some arguments that pop up, but this thread is usually a very positive and supportive place.



I mean, it's supposed to be positive and supportive, and it should always be. There's no reason that arguments would pop up if there weren't "allies" in the thread.
but I don't even go in this thread, take it with a grain of salt

- - - Post Merge - - -



Luckypinch said:


> Lellahs mom is a *****. She was born as a boy and knew she was female (lellah)
> She killed herself. (Lellah) Her parents put her birth name on her grave stone, and was burryed in a tux.



ok but pls phrase better. not because im all about grammar but bc this could easily be taken as rly offensive. :/
*Leelah. Her name was Leelah.
She wasn't born male. It's impossible to be born male. Genitalia does not equal sex or gender. She was assigned male at birth because we live in a society that assigns you a gender based on what your genitalia looks like compared to a spectrum of what genitalia can possibly look like. (AMAB, if you ever need to use that acronym in the future).
And, last I checked, she has yet to be buried. We also haven't seen her headstone yet, we have no idea what's engraved on it. I mean, we can guess they'll write Joshua, but we haven't seen it yet.
pls don't hand out false information thx


----------



## Colour Bandit

I found this website which I think some trans TBT members might find useful, http://transclothesswap.org/ , the idea is that trans people can post what clothes they are looking for, e.g. they are dmab/amab and are looking for more female clothes such as skirts or dresses, and another trans person or cis person can respond to them with any spare clothes that fit the criteria and send them to them, and trans and cis people can post with the clothes that they don't need anymore and trans people can respond to them with which clothes they like. The website also accepts donations which will go towards paying for shipping the clothes if the sender or receiver cannot fully afford the shipping. They have an faq if you have any other questions. Obviously only trans people can request clothes as cis people don't have the same problems getting their clothes but anyone can donate clothes as long as they are in a good condition, the faq also specifies what clothes are accepted and what are not.

I'll be posting some of my old clothes on there in a few months (when I am more financially stable so will be able to afford the shipping costs since I want to be able to send clothes to people outside of the UK and shipping costs are expensive not matter where you are shipping to) and donating some money to help trans people get some clothes! I hope this website will help trans members here!


----------



## radical6

omg thanks for reminding me about that. last time I checked it was dead so I was like aww. will check it out, thanks!


----------



## unintentional

Colour Bandit said:


> I found this website which I think some trans TBT members might find useful, http://transclothesswap.org/ , the idea is that trans people can post what clothes they are looking for, e.g. they are dmab/amab and are looking for more female clothes such as skirts or dresses, and another trans person or cis person can respond to them with any spare clothes that fit the criteria and send them to them, and trans and cis people can post with the clothes that they don't need anymore and trans people can respond to them with which clothes they like. The website also accepts donations which will go towards paying for shipping the clothes if the sender or receiver cannot fully afford the shipping. They have an faq if you have any other questions. Obviously only trans people can request clothes as cis people don't have the same problems getting their clothes but anyone can donate clothes as long as they are in a good condition, the faq also specifies what clothes are accepted and what are not.
> 
> I'll be posting some of my old clothes on there in a few months (when I am more financially stable so will be able to afford the shipping costs since I want to be able to send clothes to people outside of the UK and shipping costs are expensive not matter where you are shipping to) and donating some money to help trans people get some clothes! I hope this website will help trans members here!



Oh man, that sounds great ;u;  I'll be sending that link to a lot of friends who need it c:

in other news and question; My friend says she loves me a lot (but it's obvious its platonic, since she's straight) but everytime I say it, I start to feel like a mean it in a not-so platonic way.  I really don't want our friendship to become awkward because I'm afraid she'll think I'm gross or something (I already came out to her, and she's fine with it, I just don't want her to find me weird v~v) What do?


----------



## Jarrad

What really annoys me is when people get mad at others for defining their taste in men/women.

Like on grindr, for example. I've seen so many angry black people cursing and complaining about white people putting stuff like "no  blacks" or "no asians, sorry."

What do you guys think about this? Do you think it's unfair?

Personally, I think it's contradictory to out somebody based on who/what they feel attracted to when you yourself are fighting for the very same right.

Look at it this way. "If you're gay then it's absolutely fine for you to be attracted to men. However, if you're only attracted to white people then that's ****ing despicable."

- - - Post Merge - - -



Saint_Jimmy said:


> Oh man, that sounds great ;u;  I'll be sending that link to a lot of friends who need it c:
> 
> in other news and question; My friend says she loves me a lot (but it's obvious its platonic, since she's straight) but everytime I say it, I start to feel like a mean it in a not-so platonic way.  I really don't want our friendship to become awkward because I'm afraid she'll think I'm gross or something (I already came out to her, and she's fine with it, I just don't want her to find me weird v~v) What do?



Don't let yourself fall for somebody that isn't going to fall for you. If it's strictly platonic then there's the answer you're looking for.


----------



## unintentional

Jarrad said:


> Don't let yourself fall for somebody that isn't going to fall for you. If it's strictly platonic then there's the answer you're looking for.



If it were that easy   Thanks though.


----------



## radical6

oh boy jarrad 
that discussion already happened and got the thread locked so 
could find someone explaining the difference between the two if u want it (pm?) but talking about it on here will get this thread locked lmao


----------



## Jarrad

justice said:


> oh boy jarrad
> that discussion already happened and got the thread locked so
> could find someone explaining the difference between the two if u want it (pm?) but talking about it on here will get this thread locked lmao



oh I had no idea

yes please !


----------



## Gregriii

I'm asexual, but my family and friends think that it's a joke...


----------



## Princess Weeb

Colour Bandit said:


> I found this website which I think some trans TBT members might find useful, http://transclothesswap.org/ , the idea is that trans people can post what clothes they are looking for, e.g. they are dmab/amab and are looking for more female clothes such as skirts or dresses, and another trans person or cis person can respond to them with any spare clothes that fit the criteria and send them to them, and trans and cis people can post with the clothes that they don't need anymore and trans people can respond to them with which clothes they like. The website also accepts donations which will go towards paying for shipping the clothes if the sender or receiver cannot fully afford the shipping. They have an faq if you have any other questions. Obviously only trans people can request clothes as cis people don't have the same problems getting their clothes but anyone can donate clothes as long as they are in a good condition, the faq also specifies what clothes are accepted and what are not.
> 
> I'll be posting some of my old clothes on there in a few months (when I am more financially stable so will be able to afford the shipping costs since I want to be able to send clothes to people outside of the UK and shipping costs are expensive not matter where you are shipping to) and donating some money to help trans people get some clothes! I hope this website will help trans members here!


That's such a cool idea! There should be shops set up everywhere that can do things like that ahah


----------



## Colour Bandit

Princess Weeb said:


> That's such a cool idea! There should be shops set up everywhere that can do things like that ahah


I know right, I have a dress that a friend bought for me for my 18th Birthday and it is way too big for me and I really hope that that dress could make a trans woman or a femme presenting person so happy  I mean there are practically no negatives to this, trans folk win by getting the clothes that they deserve but cannot get through conventional methods and cis folk can get rid of unwanted clothes without filling landfill sites. Literally the only problem I can see is dishonest cis people using this to get free clothes :/ I really hope this catches on because it is such a good idea and will help trans people so much (I hope, I don't want to speak for trans people though since I'm cis)

Just asking though if I did this (giving my clothes away to trans women or femme presenting people- since I'm a girl) do you think it would be nice to pack a mini care package with the clothes? I mean stuff like nice smelling moisturisers, make up, etc.? I would obviously ask the person I'm sending the clothes to first just in case they don't want or need that sort of thing but I thought it would just be something nice to receive :3


----------



## Princess Weeb

Colour Bandit said:


> I know right, I have a dress that a friend bought for me for my 18th Birthday and it is way too big for me and I really hope that that dress could make a trans woman or a femme presenting person so happy  I mean there are practically no negatives to this, trans folk win by getting the clothes that they deserve but cannot get through conventional methods and cis folk can get rid of unwanted clothes without filling landfill sites. Literally the only problem I can see is dishonest cis people using this to get free clothes :/ I really hope this catches on because it is such a good idea and will help trans people so much (I hope, I don't want to speak for trans people though since I'm cis)
> 
> Just asking though if I did this (giving my clothes away to trans women or femme presenting people- since I'm a girl) do you think it would be nice to pack a mini care package with the clothes? I mean stuff like nice smelling moisturisers, make up, etc.? I would obviously ask the person I'm sending the clothes to first just in case they don't want or need that sort of thing but I thought it would just be something nice to receive :3



I'd ask them first, but I imagine loads of people would love that! (Some people might have allergies/obviously makeup can be dependent on skin tone if you're sending foundation or concealer of some form etc)


----------



## hulaburger

Tinkalila said:


> She wasn't born male. It's impossible to be born male. Genitalia does not equal sex or gender.



i wasn't gonna get into this argument but
wat
I agree with u that gender is a social construct but you lost me there

the concept of biological sex doesn't exist? are you for real?


----------



## Nerd

Tinkalila said:


> ok but pls phrase better. not because im all about grammar but bc this could easily be taken as rly offensive. :/
> *Leelah. Her name was Leelah.
> She wasn't born male. It's impossible to be born male. Genitalia does not equal sex or gender. She was assigned male at birth because we live in a society that assigns you a gender based on what your genitalia looks like compared to a spectrum of what genitalia can possibly look like. (AMAB, if you ever need to use that acronym in the future).
> And, last I checked, she has yet to be buried. We also haven't seen her headstone yet, we have no idea what's engraved on it. I mean, we can guess they'll write Joshua, but we haven't seen it yet.
> pls don't hand out false information thx



I get where your coming from because AMAB is the correct term, but I don't think people should get offended by other people wording it differently? I know I can't speak for the trans* community, because I'm cis, but it's not like the person meant it in an offensive way. I don't think a lot of people know the term, and yes it's good to inform them of it, but that's what they meant. 

This is really touchy subject tbh so I don't want to make an argument about it. Just popping in to see the current discussions. 

I wish society didn't have to assign you gender at birth, but I don't think that's something that's going to change, at least not in the near future (but who knows). 
I just think it's great that despite being AMAB or AFAB, people can grow up to discover who they really are c:


----------



## unintentional

Nerd said:


> I get where your coming from because AMAB is the correct term, but I don't think people should get offended by other people wording it differently? I know I can't speak for the *trans** community, because I'm cis, but it's not like the person meant it in an offensive way. I don't think a lot of people know the term, and yes it's good to inform them of it, but that's what they meant.
> 
> This is really touchy subject tbh so I don't want to make an argument about it. Just popping in to see the current discussions.
> 
> I wish society didn't have to assign you gender at birth, but I don't think that's something that's going to change, at least not in the near future (but who knows).
> I just think it's great that despite being AMAB or AFAB, people can grow up to discover who they really are c:



on a side note relating to that, I've read where some trans don't like the '*' at the end.  Anyone want to explain why?  It can be on here or in PM.  I don't want to end up starting up an argument v~v


----------



## Lady Timpani

Saint_Jimmy said:


> on a side note relating to that, I've read where some trans don't like the '*' at the end.  Anyone want to explain why?  It can be on here or in PM.  I don't want to end up starting up an argument v~v



I read a post on tumblr that said the asterisk was added to "include trans women" and I think nonbinary people as well, which kind of implies that they're not actually trans in the first place. I'm not sure if that's the reasoning everybody accepts, or if that reasoning is correct, but I've seen multiple trans people object to the asterisk, so I don't use it.


----------



## Nerd

Saint_Jimmy said:


> on a side note relating to that, I've read where some trans don't like the '*' at the end.  Anyone want to explain why?  It can be on here or in PM.  I don't want to end up starting up an argument v~v





Lady Timpani said:


> I read a post on tumblr that said the asterisk was added to "include trans women" and I think nonbinary people as well, which kind of implies that they're not actually trans in the first place. I'm not sure if that's the reasoning everybody accepts, or if that reasoning is correct, but I've seen multiple trans people object to the asterisk, so I don't use it.



Really? I never heard that, huh. The asterisk is just to refer to it as an umbrella term, I thought, since it would include genderfluid, transgender, agender, bigender, etc. I've used them interchangeably as trans and trans* and never heard anyone get angry from it, that's interesting.
"If you were referring to transgender men and women, you'd use trans and if you want to refer to the entirety, use trans*". That's how I've come to understand it.

I'm assuming that originally, people used trans, but then when people started to show up saying things like "hey, that would be confusing if you're referring to me, as someone who is agender, because saying "trans" is too close to just saying "transgender" so why not just add something to include us other identities?" 
I understand what you're saying though, that having to add the asterisk would kind of make nonbinary people feel like they aren't trans, but that's why I think everyone should be using the asterisk now because that DOES mean that they're all trans*, it's just more inclusive with the asterisk.

Use it or don't use it, that's what I'll say. I've been reading more up on it, and I'm understanding why some people dislike it. I feel similar about the asterisk, I guess, as I do about the term "queer". Don't use it on other people unless that's what they identify as. It CAN be used offensively, but someone can also use it to label themselves. No one should be told they can't identify as what they want to identify as.


----------



## unintentional

Nerd said:


> Really? I never heard that, huh. The asterisk is just to refer to it as an umbrella term, I thought, since it would include generfluid, transgender, agender, bigender, etc. I've used them interchangeably as trans and trans* and never heard anyone get angry from it, that's interesting.



I̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶u̶m̶b̶l̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶
p̶l̶s̶d̶o̶n̶t̶h̶u̶r̶t̶m̶e̶


----------



## Nerd

Saint_Jimmy said:


> I̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶u̶m̶b̶l̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶
> p̶l̶s̶d̶o̶n̶t̶h̶u̶r̶t̶m̶e̶



Yeah, Tumblr...I've had some bad experiences with Tumblr, heh.

Here's something on the matter of the asterisk:
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/05/what-does-the-asterisk-in-trans-stand-for/

But I've also read a lot of stuff about people who are offended by it (including the comments in that article), so I guess use it at your own risk..but when in doubt just use it without the asterisk.


----------



## Alyssa

Lady Timpani said:


> I read a post on tumblr that said the asterisk was added to "include trans women" and I think nonbinary people as well, which kind of implies that they're not actually trans in the first place. I'm not sure if that's the reasoning everybody accepts, or if that reasoning is correct, but I've seen multiple trans people object to the asterisk, so I don't use it.



Yeah, most of the people I know, myself included, do not use the asterisk.
It makes sense, though. It implies that nb and trans women are not actually considered trans. 
It's kind of like with LGBT, many people want to change it to a more inclusive acronym such as GSD or GSM. Using an asterisk is not entirely inclusive and sort of promotes erasure.

There's some posts here that discuss it more: http://theroguefeminist.tumblr.com/search/trans*


----------



## Lady Timpani

Yeah, I first heard of it as being more inclusive, but around that same time, I saw other people denouncing it as hurtful. It was kind of confusing, I have to admit lol. 

As far as it being on tumblr goes, I wouldn't say that tumblr started this craze of "OMG the asterisk is so hurtful don't use it!!" especially since Nerd linked to an article (which I had read previously) where others have expressed discontent with the asterisk. Not that I'm trying to single you out or make fun of you, Jimmy, so if it comes across that way, I apologize. 

But yeah, since I've read so many accounts of trans folk/ know trans people who don't like the asterisk, I'm just going to stick with not using it. But if you want to use it, I'd say Nerd's protocol is the most respectful way to do so.


----------



## unintentional

Lady Timpani said:


> Yeah, I first heard of it as being more inclusive, but around that same time, I saw other people denouncing it as hurtful. It was kind of confusing, I have to admit lol.
> 
> As far as it being on tumblr goes, I wouldn't say that tumblr started this craze of "OMG the asterisk is so hurtful don't use it!!" especially since Nerd linked to an article (which I had read previously) where others have expressed discontent with the asterisk. Not that I'm trying to single you out or make fun of you, Jimmy, so if it comes across that way, I apologize.
> 
> But yeah, since I've read so many accounts of trans folk/ know trans people who don't like the asterisk, I'm just going to stick with not using it. But if you want to use it, I'd say Nerd's protocol is the most respectful way to do so.



I usually never use the word, unless I'm on here, because a majority of people around me will laugh if I bring anything up like that.


----------



## oath2order

Alyssa said:


> Yeah, most of the people I know, myself included, do not use the asterisk.
> It makes sense, though. It implies that nb and trans women are not actually considered trans.
> It's kind of like with LGBT, many people want to change it to a more inclusive acronym such as GSD or GSM.
> Using an asterisk is not entirely inclusive and sort of promotes erasure.
> 
> There's some posts here that discuss it more: http://theroguefeminist.tumblr.com/search/trans*



How in the hell do you get that implication? I really don't get it. Typically, I use the asterisk as a wild card because I quite honestly can't remember ever single little thing about the different types of trans* and every other gender related thing/


----------



## Alyssa

oath2order said:


> How in the hell do you get that implication? I really don't get it. Typically, I use the asterisk as a wild card because I quite honestly can't remember ever single little thing about the different types of trans* and every other gender related thing/



Trans on it's own is an umbrella term. The asterisk is taken offensively for certain identities because it implies that those are not included under trans itself. Also, the asterisk has been used to include cis identities before (i'm sure that's not something that's widely accepted or anything), which is obviously going to be offensive just like saying A stands for ally is offensive.


----------



## oath2order

Alyssa said:


> Trans on it's own is an umbrella term. The asterisk is taken offensively for certain identities because it implies that those are not included under trans itself. Also, the asterisk has been used to include cis identities before (i'm sure that's not something that's widely accepted or anything), which is obviously going to be offensive just like saying A stands for ally is offensive.



...but stating that A stands for ally isn't offensive in and of itself. It's only offensive if you take it that way.

Remind me again what trans is the umbrella term for. What all falls under it?


----------



## Alyssa

oath2order said:


> ...but stating that A stands for ally isn't offensive in and of itself. It's only offensive if you take it that way.
> 
> Remind me again what trans is the umbrella term for. What all falls under it?



trans?gen?der
transˈjendər,tranzˈjendər/
adjective
denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender.

^^ Trans would include anything that falls under that. The asterisk really isn't necessary.


----------



## oath2order

Alyssa said:


> trans?gen?der
> transˈjendər,tranzˈjendər/
> adjective
> denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender.
> 
> ^^ Trans would include anything that falls under that. The asterisk really isn't necessary.



Not necessary does not make it offensive.


----------



## Alyssa

oath2order said:


> Not necessary does not make it offensive.



The way that it's offensive is because it implies that certain identities that *are* trans are not included under the trans umbrella. And then the people who use it to include cis identities are also using it offensively because cis people do not experience the same obstacles or oppression that a trans person does. Sorry if I'm coming off as rude or anything, that isn't my intention. I know most people who use the asterisk do not intentionally use it to erase other identities/include ones that should not be, but since it is used that way and there isn't a reason to even use it what's the point of keeping it?


----------



## oath2order

Alyssa said:


> The way that it's offensive is because it implies that certain identities that *are* trans are not included under the trans umbrella. And then the people who use it to include cis identities are also using it offensively because cis people do not experience the same obstacles or oppression that a trans person does. Sorry if I'm coming off as rude or anything, that isn't my intention. I know most people who use the asterisk do not intentionally use it to erase other identities/include ones that should not be, but since it is used that way and there isn't a reason to even use it what's the point of keeping it?



But how does it imply that? I don't understand how adding the asterisk somehow excludes certain identities that are trans. It doesn't ****ing make sense.


----------



## Nerd

oath2order said:


> But how does it imply that? I don't understand how adding the asterisk somehow excludes certain identities that are trans. It doesn't ****ing make sense.



Because the fact that they had to add an asterisk in order to include others in itself is offensive to those people.
I didn't much get it before because it's very confusing, believe me, but I understand how people feel about it and it's personally not really my argument I guess. 
People don't use it offensively though, so I don't think if someone uses it it should be seen offensively, but I understand that the creation of it is in itself a bit hurtful to certain identities that to be included into the trans community they're just an asterisk.

Like I said, confusing. This kind of stuff always gets confusing.


----------



## unintentional

I didn't mean to start up something ;n;


----------



## Nerd

Saint_Jimmy said:


> I didn't mean to start up something ;n;



Don't worry Jimmy, it was a good thing to point out, a good thing to discuss. That's what this thread is about right?


----------



## Alyssa

oath2order said:


> But how does it imply that? I don't understand how adding the asterisk somehow excludes certain identities that are trans. It doesn't ****ing make sense.



So, a nonbinary person like myself is considered trans. Saying trans* is basically saying that my identity is not included, even though trans does include my identity. It's like it sets identities that are trans from the umbrella. Idk how else to explain it. It basically implies that trans is binary exclusive.


----------



## unintentional

Nerd said:


> Don't worry Jimmy, it was a good thing to point out, a good thing to discuss. That's what this thread is about right?



I just don't it to become another Leelah thing on here.


----------



## Nerd

Saint_Jimmy said:


> I just don't it to become another Leelah thing on here.



ugh yeah :c


----------



## radical6

idk what happened in the last few pages but leelahs parents deleted her blog to hide her suicide note
how disgusting


----------



## BlooBelle

justice said:


> idk what happened in the last few pages but leelahs parents deleted her blog to hide her suicide note
> how disgusting



That's insane. I hope that the guilt of their actions drives them crazy once they realize what they've done.

Not getting involved with this latest argument since this thread seems unusually hostile right now. :L


----------



## Alyssa

justice said:


> idk what happened in the last few pages but leelahs parents deleted her blog to hide her suicide note
> how disgusting



There's a backup of her blog here: http://goaskmalice.net/leelah/index.html


----------



## unintentional

justice said:


> idk what happened in the last few pages but leelahs parents deleted her blog to hide her suicide note
> how disgusting



Ugh.  Her parents don't even classify as humans as far as I'm concerned.  They are more monsters.

- - - Post Merge - - -



BlooBelle said:


> That's insane. I hope that the guilt of their actions drives them crazy once they realize what they've done.
> 
> Not getting involved with this latest argument since this thread seems unusually hostile right now. :L



Everyone seems hostile.  What a great way to start off the new year


----------



## radical6

What honestly annoys me is that her parents think they can erase her identity, her history, and her grief. They don't want to look bad. I truly wonder if they feel sad at all for losing their daughter when they 1) got her age wrong, 2) caged her like an animal, 3) misgendered her and ignored her last wishes. I'm disgusted. They want to cover their tracks, and it angers me even more that they probably cared little about Leelah in the first place.

Also the pictures of people drawing Leelah flatchested is kind of...idk. Others are saying she MUST be drawn flatchested or you're disrespecting her but I thought in her suicide note she mentioned wanting to go on HRT??? whatever


----------



## Alyssa

justice said:


> What honestly annoys me is that her parents think they can erase her identity, her history, and her grief. They don't want to look bad. I truly wonder if they feel sad at all for losing their daughter when they 1) got her age wrong, 2) caged her like an animal, 3) misgendered her and ignored her last wishes. I'm disgusted. They want to cover their tracks, and it angers me even more that they probably cared little about Leelah in the first place.



I feel like they probably care about her, but to an extent. Like obviously not enough to respect her, but I'm just really hoping that deep down somewhere her parents feel some type of remorse and that denial has to do with why they're continuing to disrespect her. Although I'm probably wrong, it's just hard to think about the fact that there are actually people in the world as disgusting and as ignorant as her parents.


----------



## unintentional

Alyssa said:


> I feel like they probably care about her, but to an extent. Like obviously not enough to respect her, but I'm just really hoping that deep down somewhere her parents feel some type of remorse and that denial has to do with why they're continuing to disrespect her. Although I'm probably wrong, it's just hard to think about the fact that there are actually people in the world as disgusting and as ignorant as her parents.



I feel that. But I feel like if they cant respect her after she died, just imagine what Leelah didn't tell us.  I mean, what she said has been worse enough v~v  I just hope she finally has peace <3


----------



## radical6

Alyssa said:


> I feel like they probably care about her, but to an extent. Like obviously not enough to respect her, but I'm just really hoping that deep down somewhere her parents feel some type of remorse and that denial has to do with why they're continuing to disrespect her. Although I'm probably wrong, it's just hard to think about the fact that there are actually people in the world as disgusting and as ignorant as her parents.



Leelah described how she was shut off from the world while her siblings weren't. She didn't get to have a phone or social media for a year but her siblings did, and she had to beg her parents to let her talk to people. I mean yeah parents probably like one child a bit more than the other, but to make it so obvious how little you care about one child is gross. It's heartbreaking and absolutely ****s them up.


----------



## Alyssa

Saint_Jimmy said:


> I feel that. But I feel like if they cant respect her after she died, just imagine what Leelah didn't tell us.  I mean, what she said has been worse enough v~v  I just hope she finally has peace <3



Yeah, that's true. And now if there is something else to be told it will probably never come out. But I really hope that there wasn't anything else, what she had to go through was already terrible enough.


----------



## Lady Timpani

justice said:


> idk what happened in the last few pages but leelahs parents deleted her blog to hide her suicide note
> how disgusting



Good thing a lot of people set up archives.


----------



## August

I don't exactly know what was going on with the other girl (other than what Justice described) but I know what it's like to have issues with parents on the subject. I grew up with a homophobic dad (I'm Bi-Sexual). It was constant chastisement from him. He'd be-little me for being a "lesbian", and only buy me male clothing so that he could make fun of me. I later came into foster care at about 15 and had foster parents who needed time to be open about it because it conflicted with their faith. After a few months of us just talking to each other we eventually became super open to the subject and it felt as if it was never an issue at all. 

I'm not trying to make light of the dear's situation. Alls I'm saying is that if you yell loud enough your voice will be heard. I think one of the best things LGBTQ youth have to offer to them besides the amazing community support is actually foster care. It pains me to see how biased everyone is about it. No one actually understands foster care. But let me tell you, it is an amazing place to be. It's good to lay your head down and no longer have to be picked on. It's good to be _accepted_.  

I'm also not saying to run away. But if you have extremely abusive parents people need to know about it.

PS. Backup is down.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Alyssa said:


> There's a backup of her blog here: http://goaskmalice.net/leelah/index.html



Ninja'd haha. Should've read down a little, I guess.

- - - Post Merge - - -

As far as Leelah's parents go, I can't say anything because I'm not them, but this girl in my marching band was abused by her parents for being trans. It got so bad that her older siblings stepped in and had her move in with them (I'm sure they probably threatened to report the parents), and I don't think they've once expressed remorse for their actions towards the girl. 

People like that love the idea of what their child could be, not who they are, IMO. So like someone said earlier, they loved her to an extent and probably are hurting in some way. That doesn't excuse their actions towards Leelah at all, though.


----------



## Alyssa

August said:


> I don't exactly know what was going on with the other girl (other than what Justice described) but I know what it's like to have issues with parents on the subject. I grew up with a homophobic dad (I'm Bi-Sexual). It was constant chastisement from him. He'd be-little me for being a "lesbian", and only buy me male clothing so that he could make fun of me. I later came into foster care at about 15 and had foster parents who needed time to be open about it because it conflicted with their faith. After a few months of us just talking to each other we eventually became super open to the subject and it felt as if it was never an issue at all.
> 
> I'm not trying to make light of the dear's situation. Alls I'm saying is that if you yell loud enough your voice will be heard. I think one of the best things LGBTQ youth have to offer to them besides the amazing community support is actually foster care. It pains me to see how biased everyone is about it. No one actually understands foster care. But let me tell you, it is an amazing place to be. It's good to lay your head down and no longer have to be picked on. It's good to be _accepted_.
> 
> I'm also not saying to run away. But if you have extremely abusive parents people need to know about it.
> 
> PS. Backup is down.



I understand what you're saying about foster care, but it isn't always that great. I was in foster care when I was 13 and I went to 3 different homes. 1 of those homes was really mean and abusive and it took 3 months for my siblings and I to get out (at that point they finally let my grandparents take us).


----------



## August

Lady Timpani said:


> Ninja'd haha. Should've read down a little, I guess.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> As far as Leelah's parents go, I can't say anything because I'm not them, but this girl in my marching band was abused by her parents for being trans. It got so bad that her older siblings stepped in and had her move in with them (I'm sure they probably threatened to report the parents), and I don't think they've once expressed remorse for their actions towards the girl.
> 
> People like that love the idea of what their child could be, not who they are, IMO. So like someone said earlier, they loved her to an extent and probably are hurting in some way. That doesn't excuse their actions towards Leelah at all, though.



An issue I have with a lot of parents is that they treat their children as materialistic items for a great portion of their life. I'm not saying this is all parents but this is totally a reality and it bothers me. Your child is a person, and you of all people should accept them! A ton of crazy stuff has been floating around (conversion therapists etc..) and it pains me to see these kids go through that kind of stuff. It's wrong and it shouldn't be happening.



Alyssa said:


> I understand what you're saying about foster care, but it isn't always that great. I was in foster care when I was 13 and I went to 3 different homes. 1 of those homes was really mean and abusive and it took 3 months for my siblings and I to get out (at that point they finally let my grandparents take us).



Not all foster parents are great, but not all of them are bad either! It's unfortunate but I truly believe people can make the best with the hands they're dealt. My siblings for example, have been through so many foster homes that there is no foster parent in the state of Florida who is willing to take them in. As a result they've been on the streets. But my siblings are total delinquents. So that's probably another story.


----------



## queertactics

I'm transgender, aromantic, and pansexual!! I'm out at work and at university just not to my parents. New Years Resolution, though!!

Hahahhahah oh man we're talking about something else. Sorry!! I was earlier in the thread and I thought we were all talkin about our different orientations. My baaad, my bad, continue the important discussion about Leelah Alcorn. Poor dear.


----------



## Alyssa

queertactics said:


> I'm transgender, aromantic, and pansexual!! I'm out at work and at university just not to my parents. New Years Resolution, though!!



Good luck with coming out to your parents!


----------



## KarlaKGB

BlooBelle said:


> Not getting involved with this latest argument since this thread seems unusually hostile right now. :L



p sure u regard everything that doesnt agree with u to be "hostile"


----------



## BlooBelle

KarlaKGB said:


> p sure u regard everything that doesnt agree with u to be "hostile"



Urm what? I was referring to the argument about Leelah.


----------



## August

queertactics said:


> I'm transgender, aromantic, and pansexual!! I'm out at work and at university just not to my parents. New Years Resolution, though!!
> 
> Hahahhahah oh man we're talking about something else. Sorry!! I was earlier in the thread and I thought we were all talkin about our different orientations. My baaad, my bad, continue the important discussion about Leelah Alcorn. Poor dear.



Good luck with coming out bro!


----------



## Amalthea

I'm sorry for interrupting any discussion but I just wanted to make a small announcement that if anyone ever needs support, advice, or a venting outlet and does not feel comfortable or safe speaking publicly on the forum about their experiences or troubles, my inbox is always open and I am always willing to help however I can! I am panromantic and pansexual and formerly identified as miscellaneous terms under the nonbinary umbrella for three years, as well as aromantic and asexual for a shorter time. ^^


----------



## Lady Timpani

As far as the archive being down:

This one is still up, though the manager of it has been reblogging stuff relating to Leelah, so you may have to do some digging to find her posts. From what I understand, there's a tab that takes you to her note, though (I can't see it since I'm on mobile).


----------



## Paramore

Idk I get a lot of hate from the LGBTQA community online because I don't ever want to come out in my personal life. Like, excuse, where's the support


----------



## Alyssa

Paramore said:


> Idk I get a lot of hate from the LGBTQA community online because I don't ever want to come out in my personal life. Like, excuse, where's the support



There's nothing wrong with not wanting to come out, that's your personal decision. If people don't respect it then they aren't worth your time.


----------



## Misuzurin

Oh jeez this thread blew up while I was busy working and hanging out with friends. One of which I have a super duper crush on. Too bad he really likes me only as a friend and he has a pregnant girlfriend. #Gay/trans problems.


----------



## Paramore

Misuzurin said:


> Oh jeez this thread blew up while I was busy working and hanging out with friends. One of which I have a super duper crush on. Too bad he really likes me only as a friend and he has a pregnant girlfriend. #Gay/trans problems.



Wishing you the best on your transition


----------



## radical6

Paramore said:


> Idk I get a lot of hate from the LGBTQA community online because I don't ever want to come out in my personal life. Like, excuse, where's the support



Oh on stuff like national coming out day? Yeah those people are annoying, because they don't understand that not everyone is in a safe position to come out. Staying in the closet is absolutely fine.


----------



## Frances-Simoun

Paramore said:


> Idk I get a lot of hate from the LGBTQA community online because I don't ever want to come out in my personal life. Like, excuse, where's the support



Its fine to not want to come out, I've "come out" to close friends and everyone I met mew I make sure they know I'm a lesbian, my mother knows but the rest of my family doesn't and its not because I'm in a bad position to come out its just I don't find it necessary.
My sexual preference is that, mine. So I don't need it to feel more free, because I still feel free even if not everyone knows and if they find out, well, hurray? XD I get what you go through in other places


----------



## Paramore

justice said:


> Oh on stuff like national coming out day? Yeah those people are annoying, because they don't understand that not everyone is in a safe position to come out. Staying in the closet is absolutely fine.



Yeah, its frustrating when people say its selfish not to come out. I've gotten that loads of times.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Paramore said:


> Yeah, its frustrating when people say its selfish not to come out. I've gotten that loads of times.



I don't get how that is even slightly selfish. The only way that it can make any sense is if someone argues that so many people have died and protested and worked immensely hard to make progress on our freedoms/lgbt rights in general and to choose to stay quiet about it implies shame/renders their work worthless or something stupid like that. 

>Since when do people announce their sexuality anyway, especially if they're straight? It doesn't and shouldn't need to happen
>How can people even assume the circumstances other people are in? Some families would immediately throw out their child onto the streets for being gay, it's ridiculous. It's punishable in law in quite a few countries too.

It's your choice when you come out to people, and no one elses. On the topic of national coming out day or whatever please can people not out others without their permission that is horrible ff


----------



## Mercedes

I just read Lellahs suicide note..I really don't like her parents..I cryed when I read it..that poor girl..


----------



## unintentional

Paramore said:


> Yeah, its frustrating when people say its selfish not to come out. I've gotten that loads of times.



I don't understand people's mindset when they are like "omg, stop being so selfish!"

It's your choice to come out, it doesn't matter what day it is.  As Princess Weeb said, families can be extremely harsh or accepting.


----------



## LunaMoon Crossing

True what Saint Jimmy is saying. I'm none of the letters, but my dad shunned me for wearing masculine clothing. He was harsh, while my mom was accepting.


----------



## unintentional

LunaMoon Crossing said:


> True what Saint Jimmy is saying. I'm none of the letters, but my dad shunned me for wearing masculine clothing. He was harsh, while my mom was accepting.



Awh :c

There was this guy at my school who was transitioning from female to male, and he actually got bullied so bad at school, he had to change school and his parents were so unaccepting, he's now in foster care :c


----------



## Aryxia

Damn, after reading everything in this thread, I'm really happy that I live and go to school where I do. I really hope things get better for you and the people you know.


----------



## Mercedes

Ok. So I think I might be bi..I kinda felt this way in 7th grade I told my mother..she was like "oh don't act on those feelings "your not gay" but I mean I like girls?? Like I would date then (I have)? and marry em. But I just don't even know.


----------



## Nerd

Aryxia said:


> Damn, after reading everything in this thread, I'm really happy that I live and go to school where I do. I really hope things get better for you and the people you know.



Me too. I go to an art school and everyone is soooo accepting. I don't think a homophobe/transphobe/etc-phobe could survive here for very long, ha.

It must be hard to go to a school/live in a place where you can't be accepted..especially if you have no way of escaping :c
I don't know what I would do if I didn't leave my old school...lots of religious kids and rednecks who were very unaccepting..not saying that all of them were, but a LOT were.



Luckypinch said:


> Ok. So I think I might be bi..I kinda felt this way in 7th grade I told my mother..she was like "oh don't act on those feelings "your not gay" but I mean I like girls?? Like I would date then (I have)? and marry em. But I just don't even know.



A lot of times if you feel a certain way and someone tells you otherwise, you can start suppressing your feelings..this happened to me! I started having feelings for girls in middle school, but when my friend doubted it, I started to feel like maybe I wasn't. It wasn't until last year where I discovered that I was pansexual, but now I'm leaning more towards being a lesbian. 
If you're interested in dating and marrying girls but also guys, then it's likely you are bi! Just listen to your heart, don't listen to what other people tell you.


----------



## Mercedes

Nerd said:


> Me too. I go to an art school and everyone is soooo accepting. I don't think a homophobe/transphobe/etc-phobe could survive here for very long, ha.
> 
> It must be hard to go to a school/live in a place where you can't be accepted..especially if you have no way of escaping :c
> I don't know what I would do if I didn't leave my old school...lots of religious kids and rednecks who were very unaccepting..not saying that all of them were, but a LOT were.


That's my school "omg your gay wtf is wrong with you"
That's what someone said to my best friend Avi. I beat the **** out of them. Avi was crying..God. It's awful how bad people can be.


----------



## Nerd

Luckypinch said:


> That's my school "omg your gay wtf is wrong with you"
> That's what someone said to my best friend Avi. I beat the **** out of them. Avi was crying..God. It's awful how bad people can be.



Wow, that's really horrible :C
It's one thing to not being open to homosexuality, but when you're disrespectful..now that's just plain absurd. 

There are things I'm sort of, against I guess? Or just not open to? But I respect people nonetheless that are involved in it.
Unless it's morally wrong (like incest), then I know I have no right to tell people that they can't do/be it. (off topic, but there's a boy in my school who thinks incest is okay as long as it's not between a girl and a boy...ugh)


----------



## Mercedes

Nerd said:


> Wow, that's really horrible :C
> It's one thing to not being open to homosexuality, but when you're disrespectful..now that's just plain absurd.
> 
> There are things I'm sort of, against I guess? Or just not open to? But I respect people nonetheless that are involved in it.


Yeah. I know. Then I went to the office to file a "bully report" they were like. You just beat someone up. I'm sure your freinds fine it was just a comment. But I got suspended but my mom told me I did the right thing. It just upsets me. Why is everyone so rude in this world? Why cant we just accept each other for who we are?


----------



## radical6

I'm glad I live in Washington that is like liberal (sadly) as **** but at least like gay ppl... except instead of getting beaten up everyone wants a Gay Bestfriend! It's weird as **** and I do get little micro aggressions but no one actually insulted me for ever being gay. Hope it gets better for you.


----------



## Nerd

justice said:


> I'm glad I live in Washington that is like liberal (sadly) as **** but at least like gay ppl... except instead of getting beaten up everyone wants a Gay Bestfriend! It's weird as **** and I do get little micro aggressions but no one actually insulted me for ever being gay. Hope it gets better for you.



Ugh, those girls who are like "I want a gay bestfriend hAHAAhahAHA!" they sadly exist.
seriously, chill out -.- we're not like, trophies to show off to your friends.



Luckypinch said:


> Yeah. I know. Then I went to the office to file a "bully report" they were like. You just beat someone up. I'm sure your freinds fine it was just a comment. But I got suspended but my mom told me I did the right thing. It just upsets me. Why is everyone so rude in this world? Why cant we just accept each other for who we are?



I think you did the right thing. Schools are always really stupid about that stuff. A similar thing happened when my friend's boyfriend beat a guy up because the guy was saying nasty things about my friend. Her boyfriend got in trouble, but the guy saying mean things didn't. 
Words really CAN hurt you...don't listen to that stupid cliche saying >.>

In their defense, I guess they can never tell whether what was said was said is 100% truth, but they can see marks from getting beaten up...it's quite corrupt.


----------



## unintentional

Nerd said:


> Ugh, those girls who are like "I want a gay bestfriend hAHAAhahAHA!" they sadly exist.
> seriously, chill out -.- we're not like, trophies to show off to your friends.



Fun story:  My and one of my friends (who no longer talks to me v~v) were talking about that.  I was like "My uncle (who's gay) doesn't like shopping, he finds it boring." and she says *"he isn't a real homosexual then"*  I then told her that he and his boyfriend would be married if it were legal where he lived. She still said all gays like shopping, it's in their blood.  She's also one who's like "omg, i want a gay bestfriend so we can talk about how hot [insert boy's name] is."


----------



## Lady Timpani

Saint_Jimmy said:


> Fun story:  My and one of my friends (who no longer talks to me v~v) were talking about that.  I was like "My uncle (who's gay) doesn't like shopping, he finds it boring." and she says *"he isn't a real homosexual then"*  I then told her that he and his boyfriend would be married if it were legal where he lived. She still said all gays like shopping, it's in their blood.  She's also one who's like "omg, i want a gay bestfriend so we can talk about how hot [insert boy's name] is."



?????

People like that are so baffling lmao. When I came out to one of my friends, she was accepting, but she asked me (completely seriously) if I and other gay people should use the bathroom of the opposite gender because it "would be improper" or whatever. Like??? What?????? Gay people (and for that matter, trans people using the bathroom of the gender they identify with) aren't going to go in and sexually assault people or whatever she thought we were going to do. I'm sure many of them who are out just want to use the bathroom in peace and get out.


----------



## Nerd

Omg...I can't believe people think that way...it's unreal


----------



## oath2order

If a girl comes to me and finds out I'm gay and is like "lets be friends" I have no problem with that -_-


----------



## unintentional

oath2order said:


> If a girl comes to me and finds out I'm gay and is like "lets be friends" I have no problem with that -_-



Good for you?  It gets annoying when girls come up to me, just because my uncle is gay, and is like "can u give me his number so I can call him?"  Not everyone is okay with it.


----------



## oath2order

Saint_Jimmy said:


> Good for you?  It gets annoying when girls come up to me, just because my uncle is gay, and is like "can u give me his number so I can call him?"  Not everyone is okay with it.



How do they know your uncle is gay?


----------



## unintentional

oath2order said:


> How do they know your uncle is gay?



we were talking about sexuality in our familes.


----------



## Jas0n

I think we should all get into the ~Magic Position~ with Mr. Wolf


----------



## Jarrad

so trans* is being used as an umbrella term?

why not just use the actual term instead of using something vague and confusing lol?


----------



## oath2order

Saint_Jimmy said:


> we were talking about sexuality in our familes.



So ignore it then? It just seems like you're looking for reasons to complain about something.


----------



## Misuzurin

Does anyone else hate sterotypical gay guys? It seems like I can only fall for straight men and it sucks. I'm like lovesick all the time as a result of things never working out. I don't even need someone masculine, just normal. Do these normal gays not exist? Everyone I know that is gay irl is, ahem for lack of better term, faggier than me and I am trans for christ's sake.

Sorry for the rant. Does anyone else experience this much hardship in finding a suitable partner?

- - - Post Merge - - -

In a year I probably won't have to worry due to my transition. But I really don't want to be alone for the next 8-12 months.


----------



## oath2order

Misuzurin said:


> I don't even need someone masculine, just normal. Do these normal gays not exist?



Wow thanks for the ****ty implication that they're not normal.


----------



## Jarrad

Misuzurin said:


> Does anyone else hate sterotypical gay guys? It seems like I can only fall for straight men and it sucks. I'm like lovesick all the time as a result of things never working out. I don't even need someone masculine, just normal. Do these normal gays not exist? Everyone I know that is gay irl is, ahem for lack of better term, faggier than me and I am trans for christ's sake.
> 
> Sorry for the rant. Does anyone else experience this much hardship in finding a suitable partner?
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> In a year I probably won't have to worry due to my transition. But I really don't want to be alone for the next 8-12 months.



"faggier"...

I think you mean feminine. 
But yes, I completely agree with you. Although I am bisexual, I am not at all attracted to feminine gays, and to be honest I don't really like them. I'm sure that lots of them are very nice people, but I just find a lot of the things they do and how they speak to be a bit annoying. I used to be good friends with a guy who was very feminine, so it's not like that I am completely "anti-fem gays"


----------



## Misuzurin

I really don't want to make a big deal about how I feel about feminine gays. Sorry if any offense is taken, but my preference is my preference. I'm sure other people feel the same way.


----------



## Brackets

Misuzurin said:


> Does anyone else hate sterotypical gay guys? It seems like I can only fall for straight men and it sucks. I'm like lovesick all the time as a result of things never working out. I don't even need someone masculine, just normal. Do these normal gays not exist?



that's actually... quite rude. 
But yes more 'masculine' gay men do exist


----------



## oath2order

Annachie said:


> that's actually... quite rude.
> But yes more 'masculine' gay men do exist



Way to stereotype.


----------



## Jarrad

Misuzurin said:


> I really don't want to make a big deal about how I feel about feminine gays. Sorry if any offense is taken, but my preference is my preference. I'm sure other people feel the same way.



preference is one thing but calling trans people faggy and abnormal is a tad offensive


----------



## Misuzurin

I am the transgender individual in my post...

I guess I need to make every post on the internet as PC as possible in the future...


----------



## unintentional

oath2order said:


> So ignore it then? It just seems like you're looking for reasons to complain about something.



Oh yes.  I'm just looking for reasons to complain when they ask the same ****ing questions on a daily basis.


----------



## oath2order

Saint_Jimmy said:


> Oh yes.  I'm just looking for reasons to complain when they ask the same ****ing questions on a daily basis.



A part of me thinks you're making this up or at least overexaggerating it, tbh. I doubt many people ask for someone's relative's number.


----------



## Jarrad

Saint_Jimmy said:


> Oh yes.  I'm just looking for reasons to complain when they ask the same ****ing questions on a daily basis.



emphasis on the _ignore it_

- - - Post Merge - - -



Misuzurin said:


> I am the transgender individual in my post...
> 
> I guess I need to make every post on the internet as PC as possible in the future...



oops, I wrote trans instead of feminine 

PC?


----------



## Dork

Misuzurin said:


> Does anyone else hate sterotypical gay guys? It seems like I can only fall for straight men and it sucks. I'm like lovesick all the time as a result of things never working out. I don't even need someone masculine, just normal. Do these normal gays not exist? Everyone I know that is gay irl is, ahem for lack of better term, faggier than me and I am trans for christ's sake.
> 
> Sorry for the rant. Does anyone else experience this much hardship in finding a suitable partner?
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> In a year I probably won't have to worry due to my transition. But I really don't want to be alone for the next 8-12 months.



hm i suggest using a bit of a nicer vocabulary cause people will srsly take this in the wrong way.
"stereotypical gay guy"
"do these normal gays not exist"
"faggier"

As for your "better term" maybe consider the folllowing: flamboyant, vivacious, lively, exuberant... ya know. Instead of using offensive slurs like "******"


----------



## unintentional

oath2order said:


> A part of me thinks you're making this up or at least overexaggerating it, tbh. I doubt many people ask for someone's relative's number.



Have you encountered the wild teenage girl?


----------



## Misuzurin

Politically Correct.


----------



## unintentional

Jarrad said:


> emphasis on the _ignore it_



I'm seriously in one of the worst moods right now I cant


----------



## Brackets

oath2order said:


> Way to stereotype.



what? me or the person i was answering?


----------



## oath2order

Saint_Jimmy said:


> Have you encountered the wild teenage girl?



Yes. And I really haven't had that issue though.



Annachie said:


> what? me or the person i was answering?



Both. I explained how they were, but you refer to all feminine gays as rude.


----------



## Jas0n

I hate politically correct LGBT-friendliness. People are offended too easily.


----------



## Jarrad

Saint_Jimmy said:


> I'm seriously in one of the worst moods right now I cant



it's called willpower

train it, gon

- - - Post Merge - - -



Jas0n said:


> I hate politically correct LGBT-friendliness. People are offended too easily.



wtf r u serious

this is a child-friendly forum, stop being so offensive


----------



## Brackets

oath2order said:


> Both. I explained how they were, but you refer to all feminine gays as rude.



lol no i was saying that THEY were rude for implying the more feminine gays are not normal


----------



## Misuzurin

Ugh this is not how I planned the discussion to turn out. I admit I made a mkstake with my word choice. I don't necessarily hate feminine gay men. I just feel no sexual or romantic attraction to them.


----------



## Jarrad

Misuzurin r u a female becoming a male or the opposite?


----------



## Jas0n

Misuzurin said:


> Ugh this is not how I planned the discussion to turn out. I admit I made a mkstake with my word choice. I don't necessarily hate feminine gay men. I just feel no sexual or romantic attraction to them.



Don't worry I wasn't offended by your statement, I GOT YOU SON


----------



## oath2order

Annachie said:


> lol no i was saying that THEY were rude for implying the more feminine gays are not normal



OOPS
LOL

SORRY.


----------



## Misuzurin

Male to female. I'm gay or straight however you see it. Attracted to men and can only fall in love with men.


----------



## Jarrad

Jas0n said:


> Don't worry I wasn't offended by your statement, I GOT YOU SON



nor was i coz im not a fem gay


----------



## Jas0n

Jarrad said:


> nor was i coz im not a fem gay



Yes you are


----------



## Jarrad

Misuzurin said:


> Male to female. I'm gay or straight however you see it. Attracted to men and can only fall in love with men.



ive always had the same sequence of pictures in my mind when people say they're "transitioning" 

like one day a man creates a cocoon of manly things, like axe deodorant and obey snapbacks and then several months later the cocoon bursts open and there's glitter and sprinkles everywhere and out emerges a beautiful naked woman w/ leaves to hide her breasts and privates

- - - Post Merge - - -



Jas0n said:


> Yes you are



i think lorde is attractive
there I said it
i'm not fem


----------



## Ashtot

I'm confused is someone turning into a butterfly?


----------



## Misuzurin

Or some people are born this way and get ridiculed their whole life for how they look and act due to what is between their legs.

There are probably late bloomers like that though. I've read about them online. Theybare married and have kids then finally come tl terms with being trans.


----------



## Jarrad

Misuzurin said:


> Or some people are born this way and get ridiculed their whole life for how they look and act due to what is between their legs.
> 
> There are probably late bloomers like that though. I've read about them online. Theybare married and have kids then finally come tl terms with being trans.



kalm down son


----------



## Misuzurin

I am calm.  Calm enough to not be upset after being called son twice. I don't know why everyone is so sensitive.


----------



## RhinoK

I've told like 10 of my friends casually about my sexuality and none of them really care
somehow a rumour got out that me and a boy had a day relationship (if it wasn't for my friend shouting out 'u went out with a guy tho' in class ://) so idk if i need to come out thx friend 
apparently my gaydar is high bc ive been asked out by like two guys and both of them wanted to do really illegal things with me like no thx



Nerd said:


> Ugh, those girls who are like "I want a gay bestfriend hAHAAhahAHA!" they sadly exist.
> seriously, chill out -.- we're not like, trophies to show off to your friends.



My best friend thought that a boy was gay so she became friends with him bc 'gay bff lol!!!' and now they're dating 
i think i may be the gay bff bc I'm a bit queer


----------



## Mercedes

Misuzurin said:


> Or some people are born this way and get ridiculed their whole life for how they look and act due to what is between their legs.
> 
> There are probably late bloomers like that though. I've read about them online. Theybare married and have kids then finally come tl terms with being trans.


Your female so how are you gay if you like guys lol. (Yes I know your trans)
I know people these days are so judgy. It brakes my heart..


----------



## Misuzurin

Misuzurin said:


> Male to female. I'm gay or straight however you see it. Attracted to men and can only fall in love with men.



Quoting myself for reference.

- - - Post Merge - - -

It's tiring agrueing with all the people that say no you are not a girl just a gay guy. So I use both terms.


----------



## Princess Weeb

Misuzurin said:


> Quoting myself for reference.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> It's tiring agrueing with all the people that say no you are not a girl just a gay guy. So I use both terms.



excuse me check ur privilege!!!!!!!


----------



## Mercedes

Misuzurin said:


> Quoting myself for reference.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> It's tiring agrueing with all the people that say no you are not a girl just a gay guy. So I use both terms.


That's rude that people argue with you about who YOU are.. . No your female. A gender is not defined by your gentaila. (That's what I was taught by the kind users here <3)


----------



## Jarrad

Luckypinch said:


> That's rude that people argue with you about who YOU are.. . No your female. A gender is not defined by your gentaila. (That's what I was taught by the kind users here <3)



you do realise that nobody is arguing with her about who she is lol

well actually it is, as your genitalia is one of the key organs that determines your gender.
biologically she is a man, but she prefers to live life as a woman.

"determinse" lol


----------



## Mercedes

Jarrad said:


> you do realise that nobody is arguing with her about who she is lol


I was talking about the people that call her a gay man.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> If a girl comes to me and finds out I'm gay and is like "lets be friends" I have no problem with that -_-


I'm okay with that too but it's annoying as **** when guys are like "hey do u think I'm hot enough ?" Or for girls and gay men "Do i look good in this dress? Haha ur gay and flamboyant right haha gay best friends " I don't think you're seeing that people who are ONLY friends with you BC of sexuality is gross. It's a common thing for girls to want gay best friends!1!1 

also I saw someone say they won't wear plaid BC lesbians ruined it... lmao


----------



## KarlaKGB

well i wont wear burberry bcuz lower class plebs ruined it


----------



## Jarrad

KarlaKGB said:


> well i wont wear burberry bcuz lower class plebs ruined it



enit






- - - Post Merge - - -



justice said:


> I'm okay with that too but it's annoying as **** when guys are like "hey do u think I'm hot enough ?" Or for girls and gay men "Do i look good in this dress? Haha ur gay and flamboyant right haha gay best friends " I don't think you're seeing that people who are ONLY friends with you BC of sexuality is gross. It's a common thing for girls to want gay best friends!1!1
> 
> also I saw someone say they won't wear plaid BC lesbians ruined it... lmao



rly

i wont wear pink because hitler ruined it


----------



## Misuzurin

Luckypinch said:


> That's rude that people argue with you about who YOU are.. . No your female. A gender is not defined by your gentaila. (That's what I was taught by the kind users here <3)



It's different irl. On the internet it's just easier this way.


----------



## Serk102

Lol, I thought the QA meant this was a LGBT Question/Answer thread, but Google is telling me it's just an extension of the acronym. I still extremely important questions though.

First off, I have a proposal: Ya'll should add some more vowels to your acronym so it's easier to say. You already got the A in there, props for that, just add like an O(obfuscated,ostentatiously straight,ocelot,) and E (everyone else) or something. Then you could be something like GELATO, AGLET, BAGEL or LEGOBAT. Granted some people would have to be cut from the acronym (Q's a toughie to fit in), but as long as you got the E in there, no one is really cut. Then instead of a 6+ syllable acronym, bam, that **** is cut in half at the least. Just something to think about.



Anyway, I have a question for lesbians, and I guess any of the other GBTQA+ people that can also answer.

So scissoring, is it as common as we see in the movies, or is it just one of those things that everyone knows but isn't used as much in practice? If so, what's the go to lesbian thing, to get the most bang for your buck?


----------



## Murray

Serk102 said:


> Lol, I thought the QA meant this was a LGBT Question/Answer thread, but Google is telling me it's just an extension of the acronym. I still extremely important questions though.
> 
> First off, I have a proposal: Ya'll should add some more vowels to your acronym so it's easier to say. You already got the A in there, props for that, just add like an O(obfuscated,ostentatiously straight,ocelot,) and E (everyone else) or something. Then you could be something like GELATO, AGLET, BAGEL or LEGOBAT. Granted some people would have to be cut from the acronym (Q's a toughie to fit in), but as long as you got the E in there, no one is really cut. Then instead of a 6+ syllable acronym, bam, that **** is cut in half at the least. Just something to think about.
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, I have a question for lesbians, and I guess any of the other GBTQA+ people that can also answer.
> 
> So scissoring, is it as common as we see in the movies, or is it just one of those things that everyone knows but isn't used as much in practice? If so, what's the go to lesbian thing, to get the most bang for your buck?



you could just make it E for everyone and leave it at that?


----------



## Serk102

Murray said:


> you could just make it E for everyone and leave it at that?



I see what you're getting at, but not as cool as LEGOBAT.


----------



## Murray

Serk102 said:


> I see what you're getting at, but not as cool as LEGOBAT.



By your logic if you're gonna use E to replace some, you may as well replace them all


----------



## Mercedes

Serk102 said:


> Lol, I thought the QA meant this was a LGBT Question/Answer thread, but Google is telling me it's just an extension of the acronym. I still extremely important questions though.
> 
> First off, I have a proposal: Ya'll should add some more vowels to your acronym so it's easier to say. You already got the A in there, props for that, just add like an O(obfuscated,ostentatiously straight,ocelot,) and E (everyone else) or something. Then you could be something like GELATO, AGLET, BAGEL or LEGOBAT. Granted some people would have to be cut from the acronym (Q's a toughie to fit in), but as long as you got the E in there, no one is really cut. Then instead of a 6+ syllable acronym, bam, that **** is cut in half at the least. Just something to think about.
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, I have a question for lesbians, and I guess any of the other GBTQA+ people that can also answer.
> 
> *So scissoring, is it as common as we see in the movies,  or is it just one of those things that everyone knows but isn't used as much in practice? If so, what's the go to lesbian thing, to get the most bang for your buck?*


*
*
Dude there are kids on this site. Like 9 year olds


----------



## Serk102

Luckypinch said:


> Dude there are kids on this site. Like 9 year olds



Which is why I made heavy use of euphemisms.

Also it's something that most everyone does, and completely natural. I don't really see what's wrong with talking about it.


----------



## Mercedes

Serk102 said:


> Which is why I made heavy use of euphemisms.
> 
> Also it's something that most everyone does, and completely natural. I don't really see what's wrong with talking about it.



But it's sexual. I mean it's one thing to pm someone about it. But..I just don't think its a good idea..I mean I think you can get banned about stuff like this. I really just don't want some child learning about "the dark side of the Internet.." You know? But it does not bother me really..I'm just..you know concerned.


----------



## Murray

Luckypinch said:


> But it's sexual. I mean it's one thing to pm someone about it. But..I just don't think its a good idea..I mean I think you can get banned about stuff like this. I really just don't want some child learning about "the dark side of the Internet.." You know? But it does not bother me really..I'm just..you know concerned.



So you think the primary theme of this thread, sexuality, in which a question was asked by Serk is the dark side of the internet? Maybe you or people offended or 'concerned' by this should ignore and let other people who can have a helpful response .


----------



## oath2order

Serk102 said:


> Lol, I thought the QA meant this was a LGBT Question/Answer thread, but Google is telling me it's just an extension of the acronym. I still extremely important questions though.
> 
> First off, I have a proposal: Ya'll should add some more vowels to your acronym so it's easier to say. You already got the A in there, props for that, just add like an O(obfuscated,ostentatiously straight,ocelot,) and E (everyone else) or something. Then you could be something like GELATO, AGLET, BAGEL or LEGOBAT. Granted some people would have to be cut from the acronym (Q's a toughie to fit in), but as long as you got the E in there, no one is really cut. Then instead of a 6+ syllable acronym, bam, that **** is cut in half at the least. Just something to think about.
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, I have a question for lesbians, and I guess any of the other GBTQA+ people that can also answer.
> 
> So scissoring, is it as common as we see in the movies, or is it just one of those things that everyone knows but isn't used as much in practice? If so, what's the go to lesbian thing, to get the most bang for your buck?



Scissoring basically works like this



Spoiler: NSFW


----------



## Serk102

Luckypinch said:


> But it's sexual. I mean it's one thing to pm someone about it. But..I just don't think its a good idea..I mean I think you can get banned about stuff like this. I really just don't want some child learning about "the dark side of the Internet.." You know? But it does not bother me really..I'm just..you know concerned.



It's a shame that topics like this have been deemed the "dark side" of the internet, no one should feel bad or embarrassed about talking about sex/their sexuality. The prevelance of such notions stem from archaic ideas of right and wrong, ones that should be tossed aside in a progressive society. If children old enough to be curious about such things, then there's nothing wrong if they want to learn about them. The only possible detriment is that others think negatively of them because of their interest in such topics.

edit: Also, don't take this as a personal slight, I hope it didn't come off as such.


----------



## Mercedes

Murray said:


> So you think the primary theme of this thread, sexuality, in which a question was asked by Serk is the dark side of the internet? Maybe you or people offended or 'concerned' by this should ignore and let other people who can have a helpful response .


Look you don't have to be so rude. I was just saying. Gosh.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Serk102 said:


> It's a shame that topics like this have been deemed the "dark side" of the internet, no one should feel bad or embarrassed about talking about sex/their sexuality. The prevelance of such notions stem from archaic ideas of right and wrong, ones that should be tossed aside in a progressive society. If children old enough to be curious about such things, then there's nothing wrong if they want to learn about them. The only possible detriment is that others think negatively of them because of their interest in such topics.


 I'm sorry! I'm just ignorant I guess. Iv been pretty sheltered. I did not mean to start an argument. I just you know, I  thought it was bad to talk about sex. Sexually is completely fine though.


----------



## Jinglefruit

Serk102 said:


> Lol, I thought the QA meant this was a LGBT Question/Answer thread, but Google is telling me it's just an extension of the acronym. I still extremely important questions though.
> 
> First off, I have a proposal: Ya'll should add some more vowels to your acronym so it's easier to say. You already got the A in there, props for that, just add like an O(obfuscated,ostentatiously straight,ocelot,) and E (everyone else) or something. Then you could be something like GELATO, AGLET, BAGEL or LEGOBAT. Granted some people would have to be cut from the acronym (Q's a toughie to fit in), but as long as you got the E in there, no one is really cut. Then instead of a 6+ syllable acronym, bam, that **** is cut in half at the least. Just something to think about.
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, I have a question for lesbians, and I guess any of the other GBTQA+ people that can also answer.
> 
> So scissoring, is it as common as we see in the movies, or is it just one of those things that everyone knows but isn't used as much in practice? If so, what's the go to lesbian thing, to get the most bang for your buck?



QUILTBAG is a term used in some places. 
Queer/Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Trans, Bisexual, Asexual, Gay.

Anything not included or particularly specific is covered by Queer aswell. ~ Though some people still don't like it, but you'll never appease absolutely everyone.



For the uh, inquisitive question... Have some LaciGreen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMMjVwj_XJw


----------



## brutalitea

QUILTBAG is the term I learned (in addition to LGBTQIA)


----------



## Ashtot

We should just call it Bagels for Everyone.


----------



## Serk102

Jinglefruit said:


> QUILTBAG is a term used in some places.
> Queer/Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Trans, Bisexual, Asexual, Gay.
> 
> Anything not included or particularly specific is covered by Queer aswell. ~ Though some people still don't like it, but you'll never appease absolutely everyone.
> 
> 
> 
> For the uh, inquisitive question... Have some LaciGreen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMMjVwj_XJw



Ohh, that's a good term. My money is still riding on GELATO or BAGEL though. Think about it, we could start the trend. Right here. Right now.


 Also thanks for the video, very informative! I didn't know about the dental dam thing, that's cool.


----------



## oath2order

Serk102 said:


> Ohh, that's a good term. My money is still riding on GELATO or BAGEL though. Think about it, we could start the trend. Right here. Right now.
> 
> 
> Also thanks for the video, very informative! I didn't know about the dental dam thing, that's cool.



what in the heck does gelato stand for.

gay E??? lesbian ally/asexual trans* otherkin???

bisexual ally/asexual gay E???? lesbian?


----------



## Astro Cake

Doesn't the E in some extended acronyms stand for Everyone? Doesn't that completely miss the point if so?


----------



## Jinglefruit

Ashtot said:


> Guys what about other-kin? This is triggering me.



Unless my interpretation of other-kin is wrong, do they not come (somewhat) under intersex? ~ in the same psuedo relation as 2S does/might? (Or at the very least they would likely come under queer wouldn't they?)



Serk102 said:


> Ohh, that's a good term. My money is still riding on GELATO or BAGEL though. Think about it, we could start the trend. Right here. Right now.
> 
> 
> Also thanks for the video, very informative! I didn't know about the dental dam thing, that's cool.



Bagel just reminds me of that disturbing bagel head trend that happened. 

You're welcome! There's a lot of good info on that channel for all walks of life.


----------



## radical6

no otherkin are not under the label lol
tbh LGBT+ is easy for me to remember. Otherkin are not related to intersex people at all. They are a completely different group. 

Have no idea why people want the E for everyone. If it was for everyone then we wouldn't need this label to start with.


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> no otherkin are not under the label lol
> tbh LGBT+ is easy for me to remember. Otherkin are not related to intersex people at all. They are a completely different group.
> 
> Have no idea why people want the E for everyone. If it was for everyone then we wouldn't need this label to start with.



what does it stand for in bagel though? Is it actually "everyone" or something else


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> what does it stand for in bagel though? Is it actually "everyone" or something else



I'm pretty sure they just made up BAGEL


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> I'm pretty sure they just made up BAGEL



what abou the other one

gelato


----------



## unintentional

What si otherkin?


----------



## Jinglefruit

justice said:


> no otherkin are not under the label lol
> tbh LGBT+ is easy for me to remember. Otherkin are not related to intersex people at all. They are a completely different group.
> 
> Have no idea why people want the E for everyone. If it was for everyone then we wouldn't need this label to start with.



After looking into it a bit more I think I'd just made my own strange mental connection between all these things. 
I had thought otherkin were under the same bracket as two-spirits just with an animal instead of the opposing gender. I didn't know 2S was just a native american thing, and only for feminine men and masculine women. ~ though they do class intersex people as 2S in most cases. 

I guess otherkin don't strictly come into lgbt family at all though. Seeing as you could totally be a heterosexual otherkin.


----------



## GameLaxer

I personally think that labels are, overrated. Cliche, I know, but in reality, labels are society's subtle way of putting us in a comfy compartment. By defining ourselves with labels, yes, we can obtain pride in who we are, but we also are giving into society's demands of knowing who you are, who you love, etc. The world doesn't need to have an explanation for everything, least of all love. By labeling someone's sexuality, I consider it as a form of limiting the potential of love in this world. I personally identify as a lesbian, but I say this to everyone that I meet: "Sexuality is a spectrum. Nobody is 100% straight or gay, one gender or another or none at all, etc. What matters is acceptance and love between people. I still maintain attraction for men even though I'm sexually attracted to women. I could have romantic feelings for a man, but may not be able to be sexually attracted to him. It's not black and white." The world's problem is that it feels the need to view things in absolutes. I refuse to allow the love in my life to be limited by that.


----------



## Peachi

I'm straight, but also an ex-lesbian.. Used to be attracted towards girls and the thought of being in a relationship with a male disturbed me. Now, I'm in a relationship with a male and I can't IMAGINE being in a relationship with a girl. There should be more support for transoriented people, because as far as I've seen, people hate ex-gays and doesn't accept the fact that they changed their orientation.


----------



## Lady Timpani

GameLaxer said:


> I personally think that labels are, overrated. Cliche, I know, but in reality, labels are society's subtle way of putting us in a comfy compartment. By defining ourselves with labels, yes, we can obtain pride in who we are, but we also are giving into society's demands of knowing who you are, who you love, etc. The world doesn't need to have an explanation for everything, least of all love. By labeling someone's sexuality, I consider it as a form of limiting the potential of love in this world. I personally identify as a lesbian, but I say this to everyone that I meet: "Sexuality is a spectrum. Nobody is 100% straight or gay, one gender or another or none at all, etc. What matters is acceptance and love between people. I still maintain attraction for men even though I'm sexually attracted to women. I could have romantic feelings for a man, but may not be able to be sexually attracted to him. It's not black and white." The world's problem is that it feels the need to view things in absolutes. I refuse to allow the love in my life to be limited by that.



I basically agree with what you're saying, but I think we should still support those who choose to label themselves. It's fine that you don't want to use a label for yourself, but others may want to, and I don't think anyone should be down on them for that. 

As for me, I prefer to use a label. Idk why, but it just makes me feel more comfortable about my sexuality. If my label changes, so be it. People who freak out about something like that aren't worth my time.


----------



## Jarrad

Peachi said:


> I'm straight, but also an ex-lesbian.. Used to be attracted towards girls and the thought of being in a relationship with a male disturbed me. Now, I'm in a relationship with a male and I can't IMAGINE being in a relationship with a girl. There should be more support for transoriented people, because as far as I've seen, people hate ex-gays and doesn't accept the fact that they changed their orientation.









- - - Post Merge - - -

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people fling around their sexualities/orientations like they're your favourite pokemon that change every generation.

There's no such this as being an "ex-lebsian"... Do you think that you can just turn off who you feel attracted to whenever you feel like it? 

i'm ex trans, i used to be straight but now im gay but i used to be bisexual too but then i decided that i didnt want to be attracted to women, but im thinking of reverting back to being heterosexual because dating a female wouldnt be all that bad y'know, and I gotta keep up with the latest trends too, so that means that I'm also asexual, as I was ex-pansexual


----------



## lazuli

Jarrad said:


> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> One of my biggest pet peeves is when people fling around their sexualities/orientations like they're your favourite pokemon that change every generation.
> 
> There's no such this as being an "ex-lebsian"... Do you think that you can just turn off who you feel attracted to whenever you feel like it?
> 
> i'm ex trans, i used to be straight but now im gay but i used to be bisexual too but then i decided that i didnt want to be attracted to women, but im thinking of reverting back to being heterosexual because dating a female wouldnt be all that bad y'know, and I gotta keep up with the latest trends too, so that means that I'm also asexual, as I was ex-pansexual



thank u

ur either this or that or that or whatever
that person can say that theyre bi and used to be mainly attracted to girls but now is mainly attracted to guys
or whatever
the term ex lesbian is actually p funny
like
an ex convict


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> what abou the other one
> 
> gelato



uh pretty sure they made that up too lol

Uh people's sexualities change? Sexuality is fluid. I don't find it odd? People are still discovering themselves, smh.

also I don't believe two spirit is related to intersex but whatever


----------



## Jake

Jarrad said:


> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> One of my biggest pet peeves is when people fling around their sexualities/orientations like they're your favourite pokemon that change every generation.
> 
> There's no such this as being an "ex-lebsian"... Do you think that you can just turn off who you feel attracted to whenever you feel like it?
> 
> i'm ex trans, i used to be straight but now im gay but i used to be bisexual too but then i decided that i didnt want to be attracted to women, but im thinking of reverting back to being heterosexual because dating a female wouldnt be all that bad y'know, and I gotta keep up with the latest trends too, so that means that I'm also asexual, as I was ex-pansexual



Yes.
I mean, there are people who experiment, at the same time say they're bi/pan/Demi/whatever else, and then once they're done experimenting (ie; figured out their sexuality), they'll identify as something else. Just because you have sexual relations with a person doesn't mean you're instantly that sexuality.
So yes, at least IMO, "ex lesbian" is something legit, and shouldn't be laughed at?? I mean if I once dated a girl, before I figured out my sexuality, then later discovered I was gay, and had zero interest in women, I would say that I used to be/identify as straight, but soon later realized I'm gay. I could have sex with a girl (whilst being gay), and years later say "I used to be in a heterosexual relationship, but now I'm gay" - that's just a different way of wording "ex straight".
It's the exact same with being trans, some people literally don't figure out they're transgender until they're in their 40's...  I know someone whose aunt discovered she was trans when in her late 40's, and as a result, began transitioning. To me, that does fall under the "I was cisgender but now I'm trans", which is the exact same as saying "I used to be a lesbian, but now I'm straight". There is no time when and when you shouldn't say your what sexuality, and when you should or shouldn't say you're "ex" that
It is something that some people don't discover until late in life,and because if that, I think they should be able to say "I am "ex" ...." Simply because you "changed" your sexuality, but in reality you actually just realized apwhat your sexuality is. It was just something that was always there, you just didn't realize it until late. Whilst I don't thing using "ex" is the correct term to describe it, it's pretty similar and idk why you felt the need to face palm??

Plus, let's not forget, there was that guy who was a straight football player, had a stroke, and then after his stroke, was gay and became a hairdresser... To me, that definitely counts as being "ex straight", it was a part of him that changed as a result of something else.

I don't think "ex ...." Is the right term to use (it sounds weird), but I do believe it is a thing and it isn't somethin that should be looked down upon


Idk I usually avoid this thread because it's full of crazies but I felt like that was something that needed to be said.


----------



## oath2order

Jake. said:


> Yes.
> I mean, there are people who experiment, at the same time say they're bi/pan/Demi/whatever else, and then once they're done experimenting (ie; figured out their sexuality), they'll identify as something else. Just because you have sexual relations with a person doesn't mean you're instantly that sexuality.
> So yes, at least IMO, "ex lesbian" is something legit, and shouldn't be laughed at?? I mean if I once dated a girl, before I figured out my sexuality, then later discovered I was gay, and had zero interest in women, I would say that I used to be/identify as straight, but soon later realized I'm gay. I could have sex with a girl (whilst being gay), and years later say "I used to be in a heterosexual relationship, but now I'm gay" - that's just a different way of wording "ex straight".
> It's the exact same with being trans, some people literally don't figure out they're transgender until they're in their 40's...  I know someone whose aunt discovered she was trans when in her late 40's, and as a result, began transitioning. To me, that does fall under the "I was cisgender but now I'm trans", which is the exact same as saying "I used to be a lesbian, but now I'm straight". There is no time when and when you shouldn't say your what sexuality, and when you should or shouldn't say you're "ex" that
> It is something that some people don't discover until late in life,and because if that, I think they should be able to say "I am "ex" ...." Simply because you "changed" your sexuality, but in reality you actually just realized apwhat your sexuality is. It was just something that was always there, you just didn't realize it until late. Whilst I don't thing using "ex" is the correct term to describe it, it's pretty similar and idk why you felt the need to face palm??
> 
> Plus, let's not forget, there was that guy who was a straight football player, had a stroke, and then after his stroke, was gay and became a hairdresser... To me, that definitely counts as being "ex straight", it was a part of him that changed as a result of something else.
> 
> I don't think "ex ...." Is the right term to use (it sounds weird), but I do believe it is a thing and it isn't somethin that should be looked down upon
> 
> 
> Idk I usually avoid this thread because it's full of crazies but I felt like that was something that needed to be said.



Granted, that stroke case is something that's extremely rare.

Idk, I don't particularly think you can actually be an "ex-(whatever)" outside of the football player case you mentioned. Sure, you can repress those feelings but you're probably on the bisexual scale.


----------



## Alice

Peachi said:


> I'm straight, but also an ex-lesbian.. Used to be attracted towards girls and the thought of being in a relationship with a male disturbed me. Now, I'm in a relationship with a male and I can't IMAGINE being in a relationship with a girl. There should be more support for transoriented people, because as far as I've seen, people hate ex-gays and doesn't accept the fact that they changed their orientation.



why does this sound so silly to me? imagine saying that in real life. 

"i'd date you, but I can't. I'm an ex-gay!" 






Ahaha. The best.


----------



## Camillion

Anyone paint their ring finger pink for Leelah? I'm a transgender so what happened really struck me and my friends, especially knowing I nearly did the same just about a year ago. It's so hard to believe that people can still be so prejudiced. I can't even use either restroom without fear of daily beatings, it's just something some don't understand the weight of but should


----------



## Lady Timpani

Camillion said:


> Anyone paint their ring finger pink for Leelah? I'm a transgender so what happened really struck me and my friends, especially knowing I nearly did the same just about a year ago. It's so hard to believe that people can still be so prejudiced. I can't even use either restroom without fear of daily beatings, it's just something some don't understand the weight of but should



Oh crap, I forgot that was today.  I didn't, but school was canceled today and I haven't gone anywhere, so nobody but me and my family would have seen it.


----------



## lazuli

oh no if i had known about it i wouldve


----------



## Zeiro

i'm glad to see people talking about leelah

gay update: still gay


----------



## Trundle

Hey guys, I want to make a formal apology for all the bad I've done on here. I intentionally used sarcasm to degrade people because I don't understand how someone could be so indecisive about what they do and do not like. While there are still some things I don't like or understand about people in this thread, that doesn't give me a right to poke fun. From one man to another man/woman/trans/wolf/grass, I am sorry.


----------



## lazuli

Zeiro said:


> i'm glad to see people talking about leelah
> 
> gay update: still gay



nice


----------



## Yui Z

Trundle said:


> Hey guys, I want to make a formal apology for all the bad I've done on here. I intentionally used sarcasm to degrade people because I don't understand how someone could be so indecisive about what they do and do not like. While there are still some things I don't like or understand about people in this thread, that doesn't give me a right to poke fun. From one man to another man/woman/trans/wolf/grass, I am sorry.



Tina changed you. I'm so proud. :')


----------



## Zanessa

Camillion said:


> Anyone paint their ring finger pink for Leelah? I'm a transgender so what happened really struck me and my friends, especially knowing I nearly did the same just about a year ago. It's so hard to believe that people can still be so prejudiced. I can't even use either restroom without fear of daily beatings, it's just something some don't understand the weight of but should



I did! Me and my 2 friends, actually. Didn't notice anyone else do it, but others most likely did.


----------



## radical6

didn't hear about the Leelah thing. I don't have any rings sadly though.

- - - Post Merge - - -

oh it's a finger lol. don't have pink paint tho


----------



## kassie

Alice said:


>



I love every single gif you post, 10/10.

On topic: I didn't know about the painting ring finger pink for Leelah. :c 
I would've done so had I known.


----------



## Alyssa

I forgot about the ring finger thing, but I definitely would have if I had remembered. Hopefully some other people remembered to do it


----------



## JellyDitto

I was still gay the last time I checked.


----------



## MishMeesh

Over the past months I've been coming to terms with the realization that I'm grey-a/ace. I was somewhat anxious when I first started looking into it, but now I really feel like it explains a lot about me and it's almost like a weight lifted off of me.

I'm 21, never been in a relationship, have never especially wanted a relationship. I've had all of maybe two legitimate "crushes" that I can remember, neither of which became strong enough to pursue, and neither of which involved any kind of desire for physical intimacy.

I never had crushes throughout elementary or high school. One of my friends' favourite thing to do whenever a conversation ended was turn to me and go "so, who do you like?" because she thought I was always lying when I constantly told her no one. A couple of times I would randomly choose someone to "have a crush on" so people would stop asking and making me feel like an anomaly, which one time resulted in that person /somehow/ finding out I said so and then they started avoiding me. Friendship ending over literally nothing, that was fun.

One of the main things that got me to really start considering the possibility of being ace was an article about the difference between finding someone's looks aesthetically pleasing versus sexually attractive and how the former is often confused with the latter. It talked about how people who are asexual often find people aesthetically pleasing and mistake that for attraction because they are taught by society that good-looking = sexy/sexuality, and so they can mistake themselves for not being asexual. I think this is part of what took me so long to realize that I'm ace. I still found people "hot", though never to the point of "I want to have sex with that person". Like I know Zayn Malik is in the top 5 prettiest humans in the history of our species but I still don't want to do the do with him.


----------



## Misuzurin

I didn't know about the Leelah nail polish thing. Oh well. 

In other news this chick at work thinks I like her girlfriend.  Lulz.


----------



## Misuzurin

P.S. I came out to my dad and my work HR today. My dad seemed to accept it and I cried a lot anyway. My work told me to get a COF filled out by my doctor saying what physical activities I can't do. I was like, "Okay... Can't you just treat me like a girl since I am and have been on hormones?"
"Not without that form completed by your doctor or a doctor's note, we can't make exceptions without the paperwork. You can either work and get the paperwork done or take a week off."

So I will be kept doing physical labor until the 27th when I see my endocrinologist.


----------



## lazuli

Misuzurin said:


> P.S. I came out to my dad and my work HR today. My dad seemed to accept it and I cried a lot anyway. My work told me to get a COF filled out by my doctor saying what physical activities I can't do. I was like, "Okay... Can't you just treat me like a girl since I am and have been on hormones?"
> "Not without that form completed by your doctor or a doctor's note, we can't make exceptions without the paperwork. You can either work and get the paperwork done or take a week off."
> 
> So I will be kept doing physical labor until the 27th when I see my endocrinologist.



aw lame


----------



## diogocrossing

grey-a here. unless we're talking 40+ men/women in positions of power. i'm all about that base.


----------



## Alice

diogocrossing said:


> grey-a here. unless we're talking 40+ men/women in positions of power. i'm all about that base.



Oh TBT. Sometimes, you just...


----------



## diogocrossing

Alice said:


> Oh TBT. Sometimes, you just...



hush now little lamb i was playin'


----------



## Ninja_Fridge

I thought this might be the right thread to say what i am about to say.
Now at one point i was bi and went back to straight but lately i have been feeling weird and i think i might be bi again. so i am think have i always been bi even when i said i was straight.


----------



## Trundle

Ninja_Fridge said:


> I thought this might be the right thread to say what i am about to say.
> Now at one point i was bi and went back to straight but lately i have been feeling weird and i think i might be bi again. so i am think have i always been bi even when i said i was straight.



Good for you! Maybe you should find out what arouses you and what doesn't and that could help you out! It did for me! ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )


----------



## Ninja_Fridge

Trundle said:


> Good for you! Maybe you should find out what arouses you and what doesn't and that could help you out! It did for me! ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )



what exactly do you mean by that?


----------



## Beardo

How to politely ask what pronouns someone goes by without offending them. I hate using the wrong ones and feeling bad because they never specified or I never noticed.


----------



## Cory

Beardo said:


> How to politely ask what pronouns someone goes by without offending them. I hate using the wrong ones and feeling bad because they never specified or I never noticed.



Use the word it


----------



## Beardo

Cory said:


> Use the word it



From my experience people have found that even more offensive


----------



## Cory

Beardo said:


> From my experience people have found that even more offensive



Oh, well its either he she or it are people making up pronouns now?


----------



## Ninja_Fridge

i just hope people don't think differently of me


----------



## brutalitea

Cory said:


> Use the word it



That is incredibly offensive.


----------



## Cory

Tae said:


> That is incredibly offensive.



How are pronouns offensive? Did they rob your house or tie you to the back of a bus?


----------



## Ninja_Fridge

Cory said:


> How are pronouns offensive? Did they rob your house or tie you to the back of a bus?



using the word it is like saying they are genderless


----------



## brutalitea

Cory said:


> How are pronouns offensive? Did they rob your house or tie you to the back of a bus?



You just said to use the pronoun it. You just said call a human being a pronoun mainly used for objects. That is offensive.

Oh and btw because you asked, some people use 'they' as a preferred pronoun (as opposed to he or she).


----------



## Stevey Queen

Ninja_Fridge said:


> what exactly do you mean by that?



He was saying what turns you on, basically.


----------



## Cory

Ninja_Fridge said:


> using the word it is like saying they are genderless



But they identify themself as genderless.


----------



## Brackets

People shouldnt get so easily offended by pronouns. If you've told someone your pronoun and they continue to get it wrong, that's a different matter, but it's easy to make a mistake the first time. We're just on the Internet anyway


----------



## Ninja_Fridge

LoveMcQueen said:


> He was saying what turns you on, basically.



Oh well both do i guess


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

Beardo said:


> How to politely ask what pronouns someone goes by without offending them. I hate using the wrong ones and feeling bad because they never specified or I never noticed.



If they don't specify, try using "they". While now it's usually used to refer to a group of people, it can still be used to refer to one person without using a specific gendered pronoun, as was common in the past.


----------



## Cory

Tae said:


> You just said to use the pronoun it. You just said call a human being a pronoun mainly used for objects. That is offensive.
> 
> Oh and btw because you asked, some people use 'they' as a preferred pronoun (as opposed to he or she).



THEY IS PLURAL IT IS GRAMMARED INCORRECTLY

- - - Post Merge - - -



Annachie said:


> People shouldnt get so easily offended by pronouns. If you've told someone your pronoun and they continue to get it wrong, that's a different matter, but it's easy to make a mistake the first time. We're just on the Internet anyway



Just on the Internet 
Where everyone gets offended by the littlest things.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Beardo said:


> How to politely ask what pronouns someone goes by without offending them. I hate using the wrong ones and feeling bad because they never specified or I never noticed.



I don't see what's wrong with just asking. Not everyone can just look at someone and know what they prefer to be called. Communication is key.


----------



## brutalitea

Cory said:


> But they identify themself as genderless.



That doesn't make them not human.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Cory said:


> THEY IS PLURAL IT IS GRAMMARED INCORRECTLY
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Just on the Internet
> Where everyone gets offended by the littlest things.



They has only been used a plural pronoun in very recent times. It used to be considered a single pronoun and there are those that argue that it still is.


----------



## Beardo

Annachie said:


> People shouldnt get so easily offended by pronouns. If you've told someone your pronoun and they continue to get it wrong, that's a different matter, but it's easy to make a mistake the first time. We're just on the Internet anyway



^^^^^^^


----------



## Cory

Tae said:


> That doesn't make them not human.



Well choose one gender, we're lucky there are two to choose from. You could be an amoeba and just go through mitosis


----------



## badcrumbs

Beardo said:


> How to politely ask what pronouns someone goes by without offending them. I hate using the wrong ones and feeling bad because they never specified or I never noticed.



In my experience, just use their name if you know it. No "he", "she", "they", (NEVER "it". That's just rude to refer to someone as "it" in _any_ circumstance, regardless of gender identity)... just their name.

It can be a little worrisome, not wanting to offend someone, but most people will just be glad that you care and probably appreciate you asking what they prefer. If a person gets overly upset with you and has a tantrum over how you refer to them, maybe not a person you want to be around. Nice people will respectfully correct you and move on.


----------



## lazuli

badcrumbs said:


> In my experience, just use their name if you know it. No "he", "she", "they", (NEVER "it". That's just rude to refer to someone as "it" in _any_ circumstance, regardless of gender identity)... just their name.
> 
> It can be a little worrisome, not wanting to offend someone, but most people will just be glad that you care and probably appreciate you asking what they prefer. If a person gets overly upset with you and has a tantrum over how you refer to them, maybe not a person you want to be around. Nice people will respectfully correct you and move on.



i just use they/them until i know who they are to be safe

its best to ask if you should call them he she they xe zhir or whatever theyd like


----------



## MishMeesh

Just gonna leave this here.


----------



## Cory

MishMeesh said:


> Just gonna leave this here.



are you questioning me?


----------



## Gabby

Cory said:


> are you questioning me?



Don't think it's a matter of questioning at all, they told you how "they" can be used singularly. I don't understand the point of coming in here just to make a fuss about pronouns. Go outside.


----------



## lazuli

Cory said:


> are you questioning me?



everybody questions you


----------



## MishMeesh

Cory said:


> are you questioning me?


----------



## Beardo




----------



## radical6

lol at Cory bringing this **** to the thread. He did it in the Skype chat and wouldn't learn, don't even try tbh. Hes just upset he got kicked out and is trying to rile me and p much everyone else cuz he got caught doing something bad. Just ignore him. 



Beardo don't worry about it I don't mind it's fine =) 

How 2 find cute gay ppl in ur area? Help pls everyone here is straight or a Homestuck so I'm Scared


----------



## Cory

justice said:


> lol at Cory bringing this **** to the thread. He did it in the Skype chat and wouldn't learn, don't even try tbh. Hes just upset he got kicked out and is trying to rile me and p much everyone else cuz he got caught doing something bad. Just ignore him.
> 
> 
> 
> Beardo don't worry about it I don't mind it's fine =)
> 
> How 2 find cute gay ppl in ur area? Help pls everyone here is straight or a Homestuck so I'm Scared



Lol do u think I care? I moved on.


----------



## Lady Timpani

justice said:


> How 2 find cute gay ppl in ur area? Help pls everyone here is straight or a Homestuck so I'm Scared



Do you live in or around a big city? I think larger cities tend to have LGBT youth groups. At least, I know D.C. does, since I was on the metro once and a really large group of LGBT kids got on (they had on these badges that basically said D.C. LGBT youth or whatever), and I'm pretty sure they were coming from a meeting or something, judging by the size of them. So yeah, I think there's a decent likelihood that bigger cities will have similar things. 

If you aren't in a metropolitan area, you could always sort of just guess on people? Obvs you shouldn't assume someone's sexuality based on looks, but my gaydar's been really spot on this year when it comes to stuff like that, so there's always that, I suppose. I guess just chat them up and see how they feel about the LGBT community/ LGBT topics in general. If your school has GSA or an equivalent, maybe that too? A lot of kids there aren't open (and some are actually straight), but you can always befriend people and maybe get them to open up. Also, I think people use Instagram and Twitter to kind of meet up in my area? I don't have either, so I'm not very sure about that or how that works. 

Good luck! If none of these work (or you just don't meet someone you're romantically interested in), you may gain some good friends out of it, anyway.


----------



## radical6

I live in Seattle and I'm waiting for my GSA. Can't really find time to go to the yoth groups cuz parents sadly. I think there's a bi girl but uh she's kind of UH.. a weeaboo.. Not really interested lmao.


----------



## Zanessa

computertrash said:


> i just use they/them until i know who they are to be safe
> 
> its best to ask if you should call them he she they xe zhir or whatever theyd like



^^This.
Just use their/them/they until you're sure on their pronouns.


----------



## Cory

computertrash said:


> i just use they/them until i know who they are to be safe
> 
> its best to ask if you should call them he she they xe zhir or whatever theyd like



What's xe zhir?


----------



## Mercedes

*Breathes in* 


Well..I am unsure of my sexuality. I thought I was straight. But these days..I'm unsure. I mean I kinda "feel" something telling me. I can't explain it.


----------



## Trundle

Luckypinch said:


> *Breathes in*
> 
> 
> Well..I am unsure of my sexuality. I thought I was straight. But these days..I'm unsure. I mean I kinda "feel" something telling me. I can't explain it.



We are here for you if you want to let it out. When I realized I was feather-kin it took me awhile to adjust.


----------



## brutalitea

Cory said:


> What's xe zhir?



Pronouns. You can read about it here


----------



## Ashtot

Tae said:


> Pronouns. You can read about it here



u realize those pronouns are made up right?


----------



## Gabby

nevermind


----------



## Ashtot

Gabby said:


> nevermind



hi i was just wondering if you are gerbil-kin


----------



## Gabby

Ashtot said:


> hi i was just wondering if you are gerbil-kin



I'm not any sort of -kin. Please go find something productive to do with your time. 

This thread seems to be quite derailed in terms of support.


----------



## Cory

I just want to say sorry for trolling the thread before, this is a nice thread and I don't want to see it get locked by my crap.


----------



## Misuzurin

Btw they is generally a safe pronoun to use if you are talking about someone. My HRT letter is written referring to me as they. "They have felt this way for a long time" etc.. While my carry letter refers to me as she, as I plan to use that in the future.


----------



## radical6

Gabby said:


> I'm not any sort of -kin. Please go find something productive to do with your time.
> 
> This thread seems to be quite derailed in terms of support.


I know it sucks. Tho I suppose the LGBT group on TBT would be a better place to discuss it. Pretty sure Flop allows anyone in though but maybe he can be more careful about letting who in, cuz then this thread wouldn't get locked like hell from random ass ****.


----------



## queertactics

how does one go about joining this LGBT group?


----------



## Alice

queertactics said:


> how does one go about joining this LGBT group?



There's a community, but it's not very active. I guess if you're participating here, you're part of the "group".


----------



## queertactics

Alice said:


> There's a community, but it's not very active. I guess if you're participating here, you're part of the "group".



oh! fun!


----------



## lazuli

justice said:


> Help pls everyone here is straight or a Homestuck so I'm Scared



whats so bad about homestuck............ smh



Ashtot said:


> u realize those pronouns are made up right?



ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a h a a  h



queertactics said:


> oh! fun!



were much fun


----------



## Ashtot

Gabby said:


> I'm not any sort of -kin. Please go find something productive to do with your time.
> 
> This thread seems to be quite derailed in terms of support.



im sorry that ur having a bad day, I was wondering because of ur signature


----------



## radical6

queertactics said:


> how does one go about joining this LGBT group?



check my profile there's a LGBT group on there

- - - Post Merge - - -



computertrash said:


> whats so bad about homestuck............ smh
> 
> 
> 
> ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a h a a  h
> 
> 
> 
> were much fun



it's bad and you should get better tastes


----------



## lazuli

justice said:


> it's bad and you should get better tastes



you should let people like what they want gosh


----------



## Princess Weeb

Luckypinch said:


> *Breathes in*
> 
> 
> Well..I am unsure of my sexuality. I thought I was straight. But these days..I'm unsure. I mean I kinda "feel" something telling me. I can't explain it.



When you start to realise or debate your own sexuality it can be really difficult and really confusing, but you will work it out eventually. It takes time.  The only advice I can give you is to discuss it with people you know and trust, and don't let anyone condemn or try to direct your feelings in their own way because it will make you feel worse about the whole situation. 

If you feel like there is no one that will understand or you are around those who might disprove, most of us here are able and willing to try and support you as much as we can ^_^


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

I don't know it anyone saw this, but it's the pink for Leelah thing and a follow up. I unfortunately didn't have any pink nail varnish, but the "Fix Society" bit tomorrow I can definitely do.


----------



## Ninja_Fridge

Luckypinch said:


> *Breathes in*
> 
> 
> Well..I am unsure of my sexuality. I thought I was straight. But these days..I'm unsure. I mean I kinda "feel" something telling me. I can't explain it.



I know how you feel cause i felt the same way


----------



## PurplPanda

Punchy-kun said:


> Just because one person wants to be something he isn't, doesn't mean he can be it. Even when people do a physical gender change they still really are the gender they are born as. Nothing can change that. (Of course there are exceptions such as intersexuals which are physically different.)
> 
> About conversion therapy. Forcing someone to change never will help. A person only can change when he wants to. But I've got no problem with parents trying to explain their child(ren) something they're convinced is wrong. That's your right as a parent. That's education, something parents are giving way too little nowadays, and the results are obvious everywhere. Of course the end decisions go to the person itself, and someone who doesn't want to listen, you just eventually have to leave alone and just let do what they want.
> 
> This boy, Josh, who wanted to be a girl and wanted to be called Leelah, remains what he physically is born as. The only reason people are calling him a girl is because he _wanted_ to be one. And I don't think that's any reason to misuse the word.
> 
> I think they should put his real name on the grave, and he should be buried as a male, because those things are what he is. We're talking about real gender here, not sexual orientation or preference.
> 
> You cannot change who you physically are. The only thing that really can be changed is sexual orientation.
> 
> Now of course I find it saddening that a person commits suicide. But it's clear to me that he couldn't handle the fact that he was who he was. He hated his parents because of this, but obviously hated himself as well.


Leelah was a girl. Emotionally, mentally, she was a girl. She chose to be something she was, not something she wasn't. People have the right to FEEL something, and by saying that she should be buried with her birth name and a gender that WASN'T hers is essentially telling transgender people that they are not humans. They do not have the right to think or act a certain way. That is what you are saying in this post.


----------



## oath2order

PurplPanda said:


> Leelah was a girl. Emotionally, mentally, she was a girl. She chose to be something she was, not something she wasn't. People have the right to FEEL something, and by saying that she should be buried with her birth name and a gender that WASN'T hers is essentially telling transgender people that they are not humans. They do not have the right to think or act a certain way. That is what you are saying in this post.



Purpl that was from last week let's not bring old **** back


----------



## f11

Ugh there's a cute girl and I wanna ask her out but I'm pre sure she's straight


----------



## unintentional

Crys said:


> Ugh there's a cute girl and I wanna ask her out but I'm pre sure she's straight



Welcome to my life


----------



## queertactics

*trans kid in minor crisis here*, please please _please_ PM for help 

I've been out at my university since the moment I stepped foot on it. I email my professors before every quarter and explain that my name isn't accurate on the roll sheet, and I need them to use my correct (chosen) name and my pronouns. This has gone smoothly, for the most part. 

I have one professor who just ruined that. 

I've been passing supremely well, better than I ever have. I haven't started hormones so this has mostly been due to continuous effort. But my peers have been using "he" with me. _Until my professor used my given name and called me "she" in class_. 

*Here's the catch*: 

I am almost 100% certain that this happened because of a language-barrier caused misunderstanding. 

Her English is incredibly limited. How do I explain to her that effectively outting me to my peers is literally dangerous for me, without being a jerk about it? I understand that she didn't mean to, but my peers have been emailed a list where my name reflects my birth/given name and gender assigned at birth. At the very very least I'm going to have to answer some very uncomfortable questions tomorrow morning. 

You can't report a teacher for not using your name/pronouns at my University until you correct them twice. (And I wouldn't want to report her in this case anyway because again, her English is incredibly limited and this was definitely a misunderstanding but still one _very_ unfortunate and potentially dangerous)


----------



## Murray

queertactics said:


> *trans kid in minor crisis here*, please please _please_ PM for help
> 
> *I've been out at my university since the moment I stepped foot on it.* I email my professors before every quarter and explain that my name isn't accurate on the roll sheet, and I need them to use my correct (chosen) name and my pronouns. This has gone smoothly, for the most part.
> 
> I have one professor who just ruined that.
> 
> I've been passing supremely well, better than I ever have. I haven't started hormones so this has mostly been due to continuous effort. But my peers have been using "he" with me. _Until my professor used my given name and called me "she" in class_.
> 
> *Here's the catch*:
> 
> I am almost 100% certain that this happened because of a language-barrier caused misunderstanding.
> 
> Her English is incredibly limited. How do I explain to her that effectively outting me to my peers is literally dangerous for me, without being a jerk about it? I understand that she didn't mean to, but my peers have been emailed a list where my name reflects my birth/given name and gender assigned at birth. At the very very least I'm going to have to answer some very uncomfortable questions tomorrow morning.
> 
> You can't report a teacher for not using your name/pronouns at my University until you correct them twice. (And I wouldn't want to report her in this case anyway because again, her English is incredibly limited and this was definitely a misunderstanding but still one _very_ unfortunate and potentially dangerous)



If you're already out what's the problem sorry i dont understand


----------



## queertactics

Murray said:


> If you're already out what's the problem sorry i dont understand



No you're right, sorry, that might've been fuzzy. 

I'm not out in the sense that I go around shouting "I'M TRANSGENDER" at the top of my lungs, I'm out in the sense that I tell everyone I'm a guy and have everyone use he/his with me. I don't think I'd count as "stealth" because I'm sure I don't pass all the time, but up until my professor used my birth name and assigned pronouns, *no one knew* my birth name, and no one was necessarily aware that the wrong pronouns even applied. 

I've been "outted" in the sense that now everyone knows that I don't use the name or pronouns I was assigned at birth, when before, they couldn't have known for sure.


----------



## oath2order

queertactics said:


> No you're right, sorry, that might've been fuzzy.
> 
> I'm not out in the sense that I go around shouting "I'M TRANSGENDER" at the top of my lungs, I'm out in the sense that I tell everyone I'm a guy and have everyone use he/his with me. I don't think I'd count as "stealth" because I'm sure I don't pass all the time, but up until my professor used my birth name and assigned pronouns, *no one knew* my birth name, and no one was necessarily aware that the wrong pronouns even applied.
> 
> I've been "outted" in the sense that now everyone knows that I don't use the name or pronouns I was assigned at birth, when before, they couldn't have known for sure.



Sorry, question, where exactly are you going to college at? Is in California like your profile says?


----------



## queertactics

oath2order said:


> Sorry, question, where exactly are you going to college at? Is in California like your profile says?



Yes! Really really really no offense, but I don't give out the exact university online. It's within the CSU system and it's in the Los Angeles area.


----------



## oath2order

queertactics said:


> Yes! Really really really no offense, but I don't give out the exact university online. It's within the CSU system and it's in the Los Angeles area.



Nah fair enough that you wouldn't give it out.

Isn't the area known for being liberal though?

idk I don't think you have much to worry about like being attacked or anything


----------



## queertactics

oath2order said:


> Nah fair enough that you wouldn't give it out.
> 
> Isn't the area known for being liberal though?
> 
> idk I don't think you have much to worry about like being attacked or anything



Oh no, you're right. And there's a really active trans group on campus, and there's this campus-wide initiative where all the bathrooms have posters in them that say like "If you think someone in here is trans leave them alone, don't forget to wash your hands before you go". Like I'm not ACTIVELY concerned for my safety..... but it still really sucks.

I'm mega privileged for my main problem to be a breech of confidence and potentially invasive questions, I completely get that; I just have to correct her and I'm not entirely sure how to go about doing that. 

.... in light of recent events I kind of feel bad for posting anything.....


----------



## radical6

u shuld probably b careful if u do get outed to not use public restrooms, tho trans women r more at risk in bathrooms ive heard some horror stories abt trans men in bathrooms so be safe u know. 

im out but i dont really have the stuff to pass atm so im probably going to sneak come clothes in when the next school year starts. everyone thinks i have a twin now tht i dont go by my birthname..lol


----------



## oath2order

queertactics said:


> Oh no, you're right. And there's a really active trans group on campus, and there's this campus-wide initiative where all the bathrooms have posters in them that say like "If you think someone in here is trans leave them alone, don't forget to wash your hands before you go". Like I'm not ACTIVELY concerned for my safety..... but it still really sucks.
> 
> I'm mega privileged for my main problem to be a breech of confidence and potentially invasive questions, I completely get that; I just have to correct her and I'm not entirely sure how to go about doing that.
> 
> .... in light of recent events I kind of feel bad for posting anything.....



Don't feel bad! The only thing I was trying to figure out was whether being attacked was the concern


----------



## radical6

i think my school distrckt passed somethin abt like, if u idenitfy as male u can then use the dudes bathrooms
tbh i kinda wanna change privately and id prob feel more comfortabl in a male one but i  think everyone would literally Freak the **** Out. still waitin on those ties from my friend tho

but ya be careful. and for ur prof i would talk to her after class and tell her ur actually a guy... say the document is wrong if she doesnt understand or if she does can try to tell her ur trans. or u can email her i guess


----------



## Alice

justice said:


> i think my school distrckt passed somethin abt like, if u idenitfy as male u can then use the dudes bathrooms
> tbh i kinda wanna change privately and id prob feel more comfortabl in a male one but i  think everyone would literally Freak the **** Out. still waitin on those ties from my friend tho
> 
> but ya be careful. and for ur prof i would talk to her after class and tell her ur actually a guy... say the document is wrong if she doesnt understand or if she does can try to tell her ur trans. or u can email her i guess



Maybe find someone to translate a quick message? If you're really worried about her not understanding, that is.


----------



## brutalitea

queertactics said:


> Yes! Really really really no offense, but I don't give out the exact university online. It's within the CSU system and it's in the Los Angeles area.



I go to a CSU in that area too! High five!

No but if you could find someone who speaks the language she is most comfortable with (if you know what language that is) and have them talk to her on your behalf, you should. 

But you should definitely email her. And talk to her before class to make sure she understands.


----------



## Princess Weeb

queertactics said:


> *trans kid in minor crisis here*, please please _please_ PM for help
> 
> I've been out at my university since the moment I stepped foot on it. I email my professors before every quarter and explain that my name isn't accurate on the roll sheet, and I need them to use my correct (chosen) name and my pronouns. This has gone smoothly, for the most part.
> 
> I have one professor who just ruined that.
> 
> I've been passing supremely well, better than I ever have. I haven't started hormones so this has mostly been due to continuous effort. But my peers have been using "he" with me. _Until my professor used my given name and called me "she" in class_.
> 
> *Here's the catch*:
> 
> I am almost 100% certain that this happened because of a language-barrier caused misunderstanding.
> 
> Her English is incredibly limited. How do I explain to her that effectively outting me to my peers is literally dangerous for me, without being a jerk about it? I understand that she didn't mean to, but my peers have been emailed a list where my name reflects my birth/given name and gender assigned at birth. At the very very least I'm going to have to answer some very uncomfortable questions tomorrow morning.
> 
> You can't report a teacher for not using your name/pronouns at my University until you correct them twice. (And I wouldn't want to report her in this case anyway because again, her English is incredibly limited and this was definitely a misunderstanding but still one _very_ unfortunate and potentially dangerous)



I would go and tell another teacher, either one that you're close to or one that they're close to and see if they can talk to her about it. Teachers are friends, they talk about everything together really. It's likely that someone would correct her eventually if she ever spoke about you to them, and another adult is more likely to get your message across if I'm honest.


----------



## Goth

I support whatever choice anyone makes


----------



## queertactics

Thanks for everyone's help!! ! ! I havent decided what to do wuite yet but I really like the idea of telling another professor im closer to or getting someone who knows her langauge. 

Im def safe and Im way less freaked out about it and thank you all again so muc!! ; v ;


----------



## S-A-M

Crys said:


> Ugh there's a cute girl and I wanna ask her out but I'm pre sure she's straight


do it anyways.


----------



## tamagotchi

Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.

So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, _really_ 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I _know _our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.


----------



## Murray

flower child said:


> Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.
> 
> So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, _really_ 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I _know _our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
> I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.



Sounds like your girlfriend is far more invested in your relationship than you are, so maybe you need to rethink your priorities involving your school 'friends' and what everyone might think


----------



## radical6

Murray said:


> Sounds like your girlfriend is far more invested in your relationship than you are, so maybe you need to rethink your priorities involving your school 'friends' and what everyone might think



Well you have to take in account their area's attitude towards gay relationships. If they live in the south or in a heavily homophobic area, I would advise to not come out just in case of harassment. I'd say the safety of you two is far more important than coming out. Just be careful, y'know.


----------



## Ashtot

flower child said:


> Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.
> 
> So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, _really_ 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I _know _our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
> I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.



Honestly unless you really don't feel safe telling people, I would just make it known anyway. If your friends turn into haters then they weren't really your friends to begin with, and if people give you a hard time because of it, it just shows their ignorance. I know it can be hard to ignore haters and can suck to lose friends, but in the long run I think it's worth it. Telling people will reveal to you who your true friends are.


----------



## Nerd

Hey guys, so I'm back on here and I figured I'd see what you guys think of this article that Fox posted last month?

I'm not sure if it was discussed already, so I apologize ; n ;

but here, take a look.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/12/1...ells-13-year-olds-can-have-sex-choose-gender/

Personally, this made me extremely upset..the video especially...

(this isn't against the rules is it? I was just worried that the whole topic of sex ed might be...so let me know if it is, but I was more focusing on, since this thread is specifically about LGBTQA, the parts about school teaching kids about gender and sexuality).


----------



## Ashtot

Nerd said:


> Hey guys, so I'm back on here and I figured I'd see what you guys think of this article that Fox posted last month?
> 
> I'm not sure if it was discussed already, so I apologize ; n ;
> 
> but here, take a look.
> 
> http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/12/1...ells-13-year-olds-can-have-sex-choose-gender/
> 
> 
> Personally, this made me extremely upset..the video especially...
> 
> (this isn't against the rules is it? I was just worried that the whole topic of sex ed might be...so let me know if it is, but I was more focusing on, since this thread is specifically about LGBTQA, the parts about school teaching kids about gender and sexuality).



What about the article made you upset?


----------



## msgfaqs

Nerd said:


> Personally, this made me extremely upset..the video especially...


I don't want to give Fox News any page hits, can you tell us what it says?


----------



## queertactics

flower child said:


> Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.
> 
> So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, _really_ 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I _know _our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
> I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.



idk friend 

this is a major step in your relationship and if you aren't ready for it, i think your girlfriend needs to respect that.

but like i'm aromantic so my relationship advice is NULL AND VOID you dig ahahhahha


----------



## PurplPanda

Hi everyone. I'm just here because I need advice. My brother, who is 18, came out on New Year's Day as gay. Everyone is extremely supportive, and I'm happy for him. But, I am also gay. I am afraid that when I come out, everyone will blow it off and think that I'm copying him. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone had a similar situation?


----------



## KarlaKGB

PurplPanda said:


> Hi everyone. I'm just here because I need advice. My brother, who is 18, came out on New Year's Day as gay. Everyone is extremely supportive, and I'm happy for him. But, I am also gay. I am afraid that when I come out, everyone will blow it off and think that I'm copying him. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone had a similar situation?



y does it matter

is it a contest to see who gets the biggest reaction??


----------



## PurplPanda

KarlaKGB said:


> y does it matter
> 
> is it a contest to see who gets the biggest reaction??


No... I just am afraid I won't be taken seriously.


----------



## Murray

PurplPanda said:


> No... I just am afraid I won't be taken seriously.



If you think that just give it a bit more time till you're more comfortable, maybe even talk to your brother about it


----------



## Ashtot

PurplPanda said:


> No... I just am afraid I won't be taken seriously.



If your brother knows you are then he can back you up.


----------



## Nerd

msgfaqs said:


> I don't want to give Fox News any page hits, can you tell us what it says?



Alright, so essentially the article is about a California school of children who are getting taught sex ed by Planned Parenthood. I now a lot of people probably have mixed opinions on that, but personally I think that what they're teaching the children is for the best. That is, especially, teaching them about gender and sexual orientation. I've always thought that the sex ed taught in school wasn't really that good, that a lot kids are shielded from things that schools think are "too inappropriate to teach". 
The problem is that parents, mostly those that are more conservative and/or believe in abstinence before marriage, think that the way Planned Parenthood is teaching their children is a promotion of promiscuity. 
//I think they're mostly angry because PP made a section on why abstinence programs don't work (and that's because some of them provide inaccurate misinformation).
(if you're interested in that stuff you can go on the Planned Parenthood website).

I know that Fox has these views, but it still made me really upset at 1am haha

This is an example of the stuff they're showing middle schoolers:








Ashtot said:


> What about the article made you upset?



It was more the video that made me angry. I'm sure Fox is on the side of these parents, but the article itself is still more informational. If you watch the video on the page, they interview a man who continues to bash Planned Parenthood which makes me upset because I think PP is teaching teens the right way. And it's not like these kids are elementary school kids. My friend lost her virginity in middle school and all the kids told her so many weird stories and lies about the human body & whatnot. That's also when she came out as bisexual, and I'm sure she went through struggles finding out about herself and trying to fit in.
There ARE kids who are sexually active in middle school and I think it's good for them to be knowledgeable. I didn't really know a whole lot about consent when I was that age and I would have been able to prevent something from happening in my life if I had known it was okay to say no to someone close to you. I'm not gonna go into detail..but I think you know what I mean.



Ashtot said:


> If your brother knows you are then he can back you up.



I was just gonna say this. Arrange so if they try to blow you off, you have your brother for support.


----------



## msgfaqs

Planned Parenthood is doing good work.
When I was in grade school in California I was just taught abstinence before marriage, basically. Which is not realistic for all or maybe even the majority of high schoolers. 

Also teaching about gender other than just male = man and female = woman and teaching other orientations other than heterosexual is very important. So many people are ignorant about this stuff. People need to learn because even if they don't personally self identify as anything other than heterosexual and/or what they were assigned at birth, other people are different and deserving of respect. It isn't going to go away just because they don't learn about it.
Plus, parents who have learned about it before hand would be more likely to accept their children if they come out.

I would have loved to see the genderbread thing in grade school. 

Annoying Fox News is annoying, lol.


----------



## queertactics

PurplPanda said:


> No... I just am afraid I won't be taken seriously.



Yeah yo tell your brother. Then you two can collaborate and figure out when a best time to tell your folks would be. If you think your brother wont believe you, then wait a while. Like? A good while. Had you planned on coming out soon?


----------



## Nerd

msgfaqs said:


> Planned Parenthood is doing good work.
> When I was in grade school in California I was just taught abstinence before marriage, basically. Which is not realistic for all or maybe even the majority of high schoolers.
> 
> Also teaching about gender other than just male = man and female = woman and teaching other orientations other than heterosexual is very important. So many people are ignorant about this stuff. People need to learn because even if they don't personally self identify as anything other than heterosexual and/or what they were assigned at birth, other people are different and deserving of respect. It isn't going to go away just because they don't learn about it.
> Plus, parents who have learned about it before hand would be more likely to accept their children if they come out.
> 
> I would have loved to see the genderbread thing in grade school.
> 
> Annoying Fox News is annoying, lol.



Yeah exactly @_@

Fox News makes me truly upset


----------



## Cory

rip this thread


----------



## radical6

update: im still gay and im dressing more butch


----------



## Ricano

Whoaa last time I posted here was in Feb and since then I've outed myself to my parents, sisters, a close cousin, and some friends. 
Feels good not having to really keep it a secret no mo' BD
And out of all of them, the one I was really afraid and nervous to tell was my best friend of 10 years. We're like brothers so if he would have not been cool with it, it would have killed me :x
It's a really nice thing to see how more open-minded the world is becoming. There are still a lot more bumps in the road, but the future's looking pretty bright!


----------



## Mr. Marowak

It feels odd to say this but I'm ace. Aside from me and, well I guess you guys now, only my dear friend knows. I don't know how to break it to my other friends or my family. On one hand, most of them would understand, given everything else I've been through and them also understanding. On the other, lie the bigots. They claimed to be Christians despite not practicing anything of or relating to Christianity up until they started attending church a few weeks ago. I was scared to tell them before they had a smokescreen to hide in, now I'm not sure I'll be able to manage. Most of my other friends are either those types of people who make **** jokes twice as much as gay jokes, or those who made their views on the matter clear in the past. Thing is, I don't know if I can trust the people who would understand and support to keep it away from those who wouldn't. I'm not sure how to tell anyone in particular, or at all. It's not like it was a shocking realization or anything, quite the contrary. I never really had that feeling of "i could go for some getting laid", but I didn't know there was a term for it up until recently. It all just feels so... odd.


----------



## Miss Vanian

idk if i count as being transgender?? i don't really identify as one because i'm okay with being seen as a boy or a girl, or whatever else i'm seen as. i also don't like the term "genderfluid" because i'm not a boy one day or a girl the next, i'm just whaaateverrr. a lot of times i like dressing "like a boy". i guess i just don't really assign a gender to clothes. i find that i get most of my fashion inspiration from boys, but some of it is from girls too. i also sometimes see boys that i wish i looked like. idk i just wear whatever and go with whatever pronouns.


----------



## f11

Miss Vanian said:


> idk if i count as being transgender?? i don't really identify as one because i'm okay with being seen as a boy or a girl, or whatever else i'm seen as. i also don't like the term "genderfluid" because i'm not a boy one day or a girl the next, i'm just whaaateverrr. a lot of times i like dressing "like a boy". i guess i just don't really assign a gender to clothes. i find that i get most of my fashion inspiration from boys, but some of it is from girls too. i also sometimes see boys that i wish i looked like. idk i just wear whatever and go with whatever pronouns.


non-binary maybe?


----------



## crystalchild

hello, heres a lonely gray ace lesbian. i havent 'come out' to my family at any point, mainly because i dont see the point as i havent had a proper date. i dont seem to attract females so its like, whatever, ill probably just stay single anyway, pfft. (but somehow for some reason guys seem to flock to me like moths to the light, which tends to lead to unpleasant situations)


----------



## Miss Vanian

Crys said:


> non-binary maybe?



i've basically just been identifying as, "who gives a damn? (not me)"


----------



## lazuli

[stands up] my name is david computertrash and i am nothing
meaning agender/genderless and asexual (idk what type i just dont want to date anybody in any way)


----------



## Micah

crystalchild said:


> hello, heres a lonely gray ace lesbian. i havent 'come out' to my family at any point, mainly because i dont see the point as i havent had a proper date. i dont seem to attract females so its like, whatever, ill probably just stay single anyway, pfft. (but somehow for some reason guys seem to flock to me like moths to the light, which tends to lead to unpleasant situations)


Haha, this, except I'm a guy. I don't want to be a heartbreaker, but it just isn't gonna work out. Incredible awkwardness ensues.


----------



## crystalchild

Micah said:


> Haha, this, except I'm a guy. I don't want to be a heartbreaker, but it just isn't gonna work out. Incredible awkwardness ensues.



its not easy, bro. its not easy. 

ok, but seriously, as sad and complaining as my post sounded, im used to this and i think if i actually managed to find a girlfriend, id find it very awkward to come out about it... orz not looking forward to that part of the queer experience. although my family probably wont make a big fuss over it, thankfully enough.


----------



## bloomwaker

I'm an aromantic demisexual. It's a rather interesting combination.


----------



## Ashtot

What's ace?


----------



## oath2order

Ashtot said:


> What's ace?



Asexual. AKA people with no sexual orientation


----------



## f11

oath2order said:


> Asexual. AKA people with no sexual orientation


Actually I believe it people who don't feel sexual desires.


----------



## raeofsunshine

hi im rae i'm a queer trans kid. :3
ah, i'm out to my family as gay but they don't know about the trans thing  and now that i don't live at home full-time any more i can be myself at least 80% of the time.


----------



## Jarrad

dapperlace said:


> I'm an aromantic demisexual. It's a rather interesting combination.



so basically ur bisexual


----------



## unravel

DMMD BL <3 bwahahhaa 
(reallyunhealthlywafflesreallysostoplookingintumblrplstoomuchblwillkillyoubwhahahah)


----------



## unravel

computertrash said:


> ??????????????
> ????????????????????????????
> _????????????????????????????????????????_



Welp I thought this is "Whats bothering you thread" >.<


----------



## lazuli

ITookYourWaffles said:


> Welp I thought this is "Whats bothering you thread" >.<



even so, what the heck did you even write you make no sense whatsoever jesus christ


----------



## radical6

Jarrad said:


> so basically ur bisexual


where did u get bisexual from ???


----------



## Colour Bandit

oath2order said:


> Asexual. AKA people with no sexual orientation





Crys said:


> Actually I believe it people who don't feel sexual desires.



As someone who ids as part of the Ace Spectrum (Demi) Asexuality is when you do not feel sexual attraction, so an ace can still have a sex drive and all that, a grey-ace is someone who occasionally/randomly feels sexual attraction and a demisexual (Me!) can only feel sexual attraction once a bond (romantic, platonic, whatever) is formed. There is also the Aromantic spectrum where you would just replace sexual attraction with romantic attraction.


----------



## crystalchild

sexual attraction, drive and libido are all different things, and those on the ace spectrum might feel varying levels of them. as a gray-asexual, the very idea of such relations only appeals to me if a close bond is already established, my partner wants it and im not sex-repulsed of them (which would be the case with cis men) 

orientation can be a complex concept for some people, which might confuse those with more straight forward and socially accepted feelings.


----------



## bloomwaker

Jarrad said:


> so basically ur bisexual



That's not 100% correct. 
Not sure where bisexual came from. 

I suppose I should have clarified in that post, since bisexuality doesn't necessarily have anything to do with either of those things. 

It's an interesting combination because someone who's demisexual will only feel attracted to people who they have a strong relationship with, but as an aromantic, I don't really feel romantic attraction. I do find both men and women attractive, admittedly, but I don't see how I'd be limited to that by virtue of being a demisexual, aromantic person.


----------



## Ashtot

I'm confused about demisexuality. From some reading I've done it sounds more like it just someone with standards. I know that for me personally, I'm not sexually attracted to random people I see so is that the same thing, or is that different?


----------



## oath2order

dapperlace said:


> That's not 100% correct.
> Not sure where bisexual came from.
> 
> I suppose I should have clarified in that post, since bisexuality doesn't necessarily have anything to do with either of those things.
> 
> It's an interesting combination because someone who's demisexual will only feel attracted to people who they have a strong relationship with, but as an aromantic, I don't really feel romantic attraction. I do find both men and women attractive, admittedly, but I don't see how I'd be limited to that by virtue of being a demisexual, aromantic person.



I don't see where he got bisexual from.

From the looks of it, you seem asexual more than anything. If you only feel sexual attraction to people you're romantically into, but don't feel romantic attraction, that just seems asexual to me. I'm sure I'm wrong on this but that's just what it looks like.



crystalchild said:


> sexual attraction, drive and libido are all different things, and those on the ace spectrum might feel varying levels of them. as a gray-asexual, the very idea of such relations only appeals to me if a close bond is already established, my partner wants it and im not sex-repulsed of them (which would be the case with cis men)
> 
> orientation can be a complex concept for some people, which might confuse those with more straight forward and socially accepted feelings.



I kind of figured you wouldn't be into cis men since you described yourself as a lesbian in a previous post.



Ashtot said:


> I'm confused about demisexuality. From some reading I've done it sounds more like it just someone with standards. I know that for me personally, I'm not sexually attracted to random people I see so is that the same thing, or is that different?



Kinda agree


----------



## Colour Bandit

I'm just gonna post these links for people who are confused about demisexuality:
http://www.demigray.org
http://www.demisexuality.org/whatisdemisexuality.html
http://www.asexualityarchive.com/under-the-ace-umbrella/
http://confessionsofademisexual.tumblr.com



> Demisexuality is about attraction, not action.  It doesn?t mean that people are picky about their sexual partners.  It doesn?t mean that they?re ?saving themselves for the right person?. When someone says that they?re demi, they mean that they can?t experience sexual attraction unless they?re close to someone.  They?re not choosing to repress sexual feelings for others because they don?t have anything to repress.



I know most people won't even bother reading these and will still call Demis "special snowflakes", but tbh I don't really care anymore, there is a large community of people out there who feel the same way as I do and that I can share my feelings with.


----------



## Brackets

it seems more of a description than a sexual orientation to me. I mean, I'm never sexually attracted to anyone until i get to know someone (and i've only ever been attracted to one person) but i wouldn't say thats my sexuality..

each to their own though, of course.


----------



## bloomwaker

oath2order said:


> I don't see where he got bisexual from.
> 
> From the looks of it, you seem asexual more than anything. If you only feel sexual attraction to people you're romantically into, but don't feel romantic attraction, that just seems asexual to me. I'm sure I'm wrong on this but that's just what it looks like.



To be honest, I have wondered if I'm asexual before, but considering I lean more towards the "willing" side for a friend with benefits, I don't think I am. 

I do think having standards and being demisexual are a bit different. Standards are more in the line of having the possibility to be attracted to someone, but not necessarily acting on it because of one's own personal choices, views, etc, whereas demisexuality is more akin to being physically incapable of being attracted to strangers that way, even if they do meet standards that we would consider as qualifying (like if I thought someone was objectively very attractive for example).  

Moreover, I don't need to be close to someone in a romantic way to be attracted to them. Very close friendships work for me too. Being aromantic really limits who I'm attracted to, though, so I wouldn't say it's entirely wrong to assume that. This weird combination of mine basically has me functioning as an asexual person, but if a certain friend lived closer, it would probably be a different story.


----------



## PurplPanda

queertactics said:


> Yeah yo tell your brother. Then you two can collaborate and figure out when a best time to tell your folks would be. If you think your brother wont believe you, then wait a while. Like? A good while. Had you planned on coming out soon?


I did. I wanted to come out before high school, because I start next year and I wanted high school to be like a fresh start. I think they might think I'm gay because of stereotypes(which is not at all how I want them to know). (also sorry for the late response)


----------



## unravel

computertrash said:


> even so, what the heck did you even write you make no sense whatsoever jesus christ



YouGotAProblemWithThatGirl?huehuehue


----------



## Trundle

Hey guys. I know it's hard for someone like me to say this but for the first time in my life I'm actually questioning my sexual orientation... Any advice?


----------



## Cory

Trundle said:


> Hey guys. I know it's hard for someone like me to say this but for the first time in my life I'm actually questioning my sexual orientation... Any advice?


ask your girlfriend for help


----------



## Trundle

Cory said:


> ask your girlfriend for help



Cory please... This is not a time to joke.


----------



## Cory

Trundle said:


> Cory please... This is not a time to joke.



oh yeah shes busy studying for midterms


----------



## oath2order

Trundle said:


> Hey guys. I know it's hard for someone like me to say this but for the first time in my life I'm actually questioning my sexual orientation... Any advice?



It may be a little awkward to do, but explain how you have come to this point, what exactly has led you to question?


----------



## Trundle

oath2order said:


> It may be a little awkward to do, but explain how you have come to this point, what exactly has led you to question?



Umm.. Not 100% sure I'm comfortable sharing this on here... But I have a lot of male friends and we always joke around just like poking at each other and stuff. Nothing gay or anything, but it was different this time.


----------



## lazuli

Trundle said:


> Umm.. Not 100% sure I'm comfortable sharing this on here... But I have a lot of male friends and we always joke around just like poking at each other and stuff. Nothing gay or anything, but it was different this time.



take time to understand what youre feeling. think 'ok would i be interested in this way for a person like this or of that gender or of that anything'
it can take a while, so dont worry.


----------



## Trundle

computertrash said:


> take time to understand what youre feeling. think 'ok would i be interested in this way for a person like this or of that gender or of that anything'
> it can take a while, so dont worry.



I feel like, after researching for the last few hours, a proper fit for me would be pansexual male presenting atypical nonbinary. I don't know how to word it right though. Are there rules for the order you say them in? All of this is so fast for you guys I guess but it's been on my mind the last week mostly because some IRC-goers are helping me think differently.


----------



## bloomwaker

I honestly have no idea about proper order, haha. 
I just say the ones that I feel are more likely to get who I am across to others, though in retrospect, what I am does seem rather confusing. Omitting the bicurious part was not the best idea.


----------



## Trundle

dapperlace said:


> I honestly have no idea about proper order, haha.
> I just say the ones that I feel are more likely to get who I am across to others, though in retrospect, what I am does seem rather confusing. Omitting the bicurious part was not the best idea.



I think I understand what you mean. I think the main reason all of this started for me was because I recently got a tumblr. I'm a SJW now


----------



## sheepie

hi all i could really use some advice here.. ♡


Spoiler:  ehh



so i'm pan and i haven't 'come out' to anyone aside from my mother (she asked me rather than me telling her.. i think she thinks i'm bi because she doesnt understand all of this but that's beside the point). my relationship with my family is sort of complicated. for the past 4 years i haven't been in contact with any of them, but now i'm just starting to visit them again. they're very religious. my mother and grandmother expect children from me though i don't see that happening at all. i feel like if i told them the truth, they'd be against me. i'm 18 now so they can't come up with the excuse that i'm 'confused'; i'm not. \: the person i'm closest to in my family is my cousin but i keep wondering if she'll think i'm strange and not want to be around me..
i plan on never telling anyone, i don't know if that's the best idea anymore. should i? my friends know the truth and my family doesn't. or do they, idk. sdfghjklsa i also don't want to cause trouble because my brother is 13 and wouldn't understand (he's rly sheltered). would it be better to not say anything?


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Trundle said:


> I feel like, after researching for the last few hours, a proper fit for me would be pansexual male presenting atypical nonbinary. I don't know how to word it right though. Are there rules for the order you say them in? All of this is so fast for you guys I guess but it's been on my mind the last week mostly because some IRC-goers are helping me think differently.


Well at first I was confused about why a male would be presenting as nonbinary because usually it's the other way around. If you want to say it in that order I think it would be important to hyphenate "male-presenting" or you can say "atypical nonbinary presenting as male" and since pansexual is your sexuality I think it would be a good idea to say it separately, like "and I'm a pansexual" to make it less of a confusing mouthful.


----------



## Ghost Soda

sheepie said:


> hi all i could really use some advice here.. ♡
> 
> 
> Spoiler:  ehh
> 
> 
> 
> so i'm pan and i haven't 'come out' to anyone aside from my mother (she asked me rather than me telling her.. i think she thinks i'm bi because she doesnt understand all of this but that's beside the point). my relationship with my family is sort of complicated. for the past 4 years i haven't been in contact with any of them, but now i'm just starting to visit them again. they're very religious. my mother and grandmother expect children from me though i don't see that happening at all. i feel like if i told them the truth, they'd be against me. i'm 18 now so they can't come up with the excuse that i'm 'confused'; i'm not. \: the person i'm closest to in my family is my cousin but i keep wondering if she'll think i'm strange and not want to be around me..
> i plan on never telling anyone, i don't know if that's the best idea anymore. should i? my friends know the truth and my family doesn't. or do they, idk. sdfghjklsa i also don't want to cause trouble because my brother is 13 and wouldn't understand (he's rly sheltered). would it be better to not say anything?



a. stop caring this much about what others think of you.

b. never telling anyone is a terribad idea. unless you're scared for your life, tell them.


----------



## bloomwaker

Trundle said:


> I think I understand what you mean. I think the main reason all of this started for me was because I recently got a tumblr. I'm a SJW now



I think that term has negative connotations for some people (SJW I mean), but that's probably because of the ones that are too touchy and go overboard.

Feminism has the same problem.
"Oh, so you hate men?" is what someone might ask me if I told them I'm a feminist. Eek!

In any case, regardless of how, finding one's self is always nice.
I have a bunch of very supportive friends. For anyone else, it's hard to explain what being aromantic actually is. They just think I haven't found "the right one" yet. 



@sheepie: Depending on the adult, they'll call you confused no matter what age. I can't decide for you whether or not you should tell them or not. My parents don't know I'm aromantic because I know they won't really understand when I tell them. They just don't think people like that exist. However, that won't stop me from continuing to live my life in the way I'm most comfortable. A lot of people will never know what I identify as, but that doesn't mean I have to change myself to match someone's idea of what my life should be. 

If someone asks me, I generally just answer with something...not incredibly specific.
"Do you want kids?"
"Not really. I don't like kids."

"When are you going to get married?"
"Dunno. I don't see myself getting married either. I'm fine just being on my own."

If they persist then I just make sure that conversation ends as quickly as possible. 

I'm definitely not saying my way of doing things is they way to do things, either. You have to go with what makes you most comfortable. If telling them isn't going to bring about some terrible consequence, I don't see the harm. I just really don't think my parents will get it. I had a hard enough time explaining some simpler concepts.


----------



## Trundle

Do you guys think the world would be more peaceful if woman ran it? The topic came up in my Media Studies class awhile back.


----------



## unluckiestclover

I'm a gender-fluid, panromantic, and homosexual individual, and I've been too scared to come out to anyone other than just plain gay. I really do want my close friends and family to use they/them pronouns, as I've disliked male and female ones for myself. I know how to explain what being gender fluid is, but I really don't know how I'm going to explain changing my pronouns. >_<


----------



## Murray

Trundle said:


> Do you guys think the world would be more peaceful if woman ran it? The topic came up in my Media Studies class awhile back.



it would be a better place if beyonce ran it


----------



## unintentional

My dad flat out asked me if I'm homosexual (well, he was like "Are you and ----- dating? are you a lesbian? a homosexual?"

I ended up telling him no and I have more important things to worry about than my own sexuality.  Did I mess up?  Should I have come out?

I am not a lesbian, I am Demisexual.  Did I do the right thing by not owning up or should've have done it?


----------



## Ghost Soda

Saint_Jimmy said:


> My dad flat out asked me if I'm homosexual (well, he was like "Are you and ----- dating? are you a lesbian? a homosexual?"
> 
> I ended up telling him no and I have more important things to worry about than my own sexuality.  Did I mess up?  Should I have come out?
> 
> I am not a lesbian, I am Demisexual.  Did I do the right thing by not owning up or should've have done it?



technically you didn't lie about anything and he didn't as if you were demi.

though weather it would've been a good idea or not depends.


----------



## Murray

Saint_Jimmy said:


> My dad flat out asked me if I'm homosexual (well, he was like "Are you and ----- dating? are you a lesbian? a homosexual?"
> 
> I ended up telling him no and I have more important things to worry about than my own sexuality.  Did I mess up?  Should I have come out?
> 
> I am not a lesbian, I am Demisexual.  Did I do the right thing by not owning up or should've have done it?



There's nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable enough at the time to come out, especially when put under pressure like that


----------



## lazuli

dapperlace said:


> I think that term has negative connotations for some people (SJW I mean), but that's probably because of the ones that are too touchy and go overboard.
> 
> Feminism has the same problem.
> "Oh, so you hate men?" is what someone might ask me if I told them I'm a feminist. Eek!
> 
> In any case, regardless of how, finding one's self is always nice.
> I have a bunch of very supportive friends. For anyone else, it's hard to explain what being aromantic actually is. They just think I haven't found "the right one" yet.



i see sjw and think bad things
better term (if youre really about equality and representation) would be supporter of ______ or somethin



Trundle said:


> Do you guys think the world would be more peaceful if woman ran it? The topic came up in my Media Studies class awhile back.



women understand things better
men have been in charge too long
would be a very nice change



Murray said:


> There's nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable enough at the time to come out, especially when put under pressure like that



people should come out when theyre comfortable and ready for it and not pressured or bullied into comin out.


----------



## msgfaqs

If women ran things from the onset of civilization I wouldn't expect things to be substantially better. I don't believe in essentialism and gender is culturally constructed to begin with. The problem with patriarchy is not specifically that it favors men, it is favors one gender over the others. With historical matriarchy the ruling gender would be changed, but I would expect to see the same marginalization of other genders.


----------



## radical6

Parents are so weird and get really Suspicious when I start wearing jeans holy **** jeans are gender neutral and not  "boy clothes" I'm not even trying to dress like one today jfc


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> Parents are so weird and get really Suspicious when I start wearing jeans holy **** jeans are gender neutral and not  "boy clothes" I'm not even trying to dress like one today jfc



Eh, pretty sure it's just them over-freaking-out over you. It's like a last ditch attempt to force you to be feminine.

In any case, if you wanna be snarky with them, just go into their room and show them your mother's jeans (if she has them) and be like "well she has them why can't I"


----------



## Cory

I hate jeans. Sweatpants and shorts for life. Also, tighter jeans are usually classified with girls and ones looser are boys


----------



## Ashtot

Cory said:


> I hate jeans. Sweatpants and shorts for life. Also, tighter jeans are usually classified with girls and ones looser are boys



I wear tight jeans all the time. Also pants master race.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Cory said:


> I hate jeans. Sweatpants and shorts for life. Also, tighter jeans are usually classified with girls and ones looser are boys



I like jean shorts. So do you love/hate me?


----------



## Shimmer

Jeans have always been uncomfortable for me. 
It's weird how people think every guy who wears tught jeans is gay. Like, to be frank, tight jeans on boys is pretty hot. XD


----------



## Brackets

Shimmer said:


> Jeans have always been uncomfortable for me.
> It's weird how people think every guy who wears tught jeans is gay. Like, to be frank, tight jeans on boys is pretty hot. XD



it's bizarre that people think that... most guys i know wear skinny jeans


----------



## lazuli

i love shorts so much shorts shorts shorts shorts shorts
i dont mind jeans/skinny jeans but i like wearing shorts and dresses the most even tho i hav only 4 dresses or so. i have this really comfortable pair of shorts that doesnt hav a button to button the fly (its just sewed all the way which is nice so the button doesnt jab me or anythin) and i guess the way my sister washed them (hand-me downs alright) made them really soft
then the most recent dress i got is soft/nice and goes mayb to or above my knees? the neckline is more fitting for me too and its a nice colour.
but my point is SHORTS


----------



## Cory

LoveMcQueen said:


> I like jean shorts. So do you love/hate me?


get out please


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

I hate labels. Labels are just things created by us, stupid humans to classify things.
NO.

You are unique.


----------



## (ciel)

Izzy Reincarnated said:


> I hate labels. Labels are just things created by us, stupid humans to classify things.
> NO.
> 
> You are unique.


Some people use labels to help themselves feel better, though, so if people label themselves, you should respect their labels.


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

(ciel) said:


> Some people use labels to help themselves feel better, though, so if people label themselves, you should respect their labels.



It's sad, but whatever.

Don't tell me what I should do, you little squid.


----------



## lazuli

Izzy Reincarnated said:


> It's sad, but whatever.
> 
> Don't tell me what I should do, you little squid.



best name-calling 11/10


----------



## msgfaqs

(ciel) said:


> Some people use labels to help themselves feel better, though, so if people label themselves, you should respect their labels.


I completely agree with that. There is nothing wrong with self-labeling.


----------



## Jarrad

Shimmer said:


> Jeans have always been uncomfortable for me.
> It's weird how people think every guy who wears tught jeans is gay. Like, to be frank, tight jeans on boys is pretty hot. XD



*Do* people think that??? I mean, pretty much every teen aged 14-19 in England wears skinny jeans...

- - - Post Merge - - -



Izzy Reincarnated said:


> I hate labels. Labels are just things created by us, stupid humans to classify things.
> NO.
> 
> You are unique.



same


----------



## (ciel)

computertrash said:


> best name-calling 11/10



Actually though. Maybe I should identify as a squid now.

- - - Post Merge - - -



msgfaqs said:


> I completely agree with that. There is nothing wrong with self-labeling.



Like sometimes it's less confusing. We're so used to having boxes that it's sometimes uncomfortable without them, so it's a lot easier for a lot of people with at least something, be it something really broad, like just gay or queer, or really specific.


----------



## Zanessa

So uh... what is otherkin and uh.. if I understand what it is correctly,
how do you people feel about otherkin? Like wolfkin, fictionkin..?


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

ZanessaGaily said:


> So uh... what is otherkin and uh.. if I understand what it is correctly,
> how do you people feel about otherkin? Like wolfkin, fictionkin..?


People who think they're not really a person, but like, are the spirit of an animal trapped in a human's body. Fictionkin would be someone who believes they have the spirit of a fictional character.

To be honest I think that people who really believe they're otherkin likely may not have a full grip on reality. Maybe for some of them it's a phase they go through in trying to find their individuality, or they never felt like they fit in with other people so they like to imagine that they're not a person at all. At any rate it's pretty much harmless and I think it's totally fine (unless someone gets to the point where they let that kind of belief affect their functioning in society, in which case they should probably see a therapist or something)


----------



## Benevoir

ZanessaGaily said:


> So uh... what is otherkin and uh.. if I understand what it is correctly,
> how do you people feel about otherkin? Like wolfkin, fictionkin..?


Otherkin is a term for someone who identify themselves as something other than human.

Generally I don't particularly mind them. If they feel closer to being a wolf than a human than alright, cool. No harm done. The only thing I don't understand is when they say that they go through "shifts" sometimes. As in they can feel their invisible cat ears or their tail moving.


----------



## (ciel)

ZanessaGaily said:


> So uh... what is otherkin and uh.. if I understand what it is correctly,
> how do you people feel about otherkin? Like wolfkin, fictionkin..?



From what I understand, from following some people on tumblr who identify as otherkin/fictionkin, a large part of it is a way to cope with something, such as if they have some sort of mental illness or autism and feel like they can identify closer with a fictional character. Since it's a positive thing for a lot of people, and it's really not hurting anyone (besides the trolls of course), I think it's pretty great.


----------



## matthevvv

ZanessaGaily said:


> So uh... what is otherkin and uh.. if I understand what it is correctly,
> how do you people feel about otherkin? Like wolfkin, fictionkin..?



what's said above is correct but a LOT of people dislike otherkin


----------



## Lady Timpani

I don't pay much attention to otherkin people myself, but I remember like two years ago there were a couple otherkin folk on tumblr saying how it was unfair that trans people had surgery and other methods of transitioning that they didn't. I haven't seen anything like that recently, but at the time, it rubbed a lot of trans people the wrong way. 

Other than that, I don't see otherkin often, so I tend not to think about them tbh.


----------



## Heartcore

Lady Timpani said:


> I don't pay much attention to otherkin people myself, but I remember like two years ago there were a couple otherkin folk on tumblr saying how it was unfair that trans people had surgery and other methods of transitioning that they didn't. I haven't seen anything like that recently, but at the time, it rubbed a lot of trans people the wrong way.
> 
> Other than that, I don't see otherkin often, so I tend not to think about them tbh.



Alot of trans people feel that otherkin are invalidating their struggles. And that by people saying "Oh I'm a wolf!" or "Oh I'm an anime character!" it is going to make people view their struggles as invalid because people are identifying as things other than human.


----------



## (ciel)

Heartcore said:


> Alot of trans people feel that otherkin are invalidating their struggles. And that by people saying "Oh I'm a wolf!" or "Oh I'm an anime character!" it is going to make people view their struggles as invalid because people are identifying as things other than human.



I do see that a lot. Well, there was in particular one post that was going around tumblr like that, but it came back with a reply from a trans person saying that this helps a lot of people cope, and hating on them does nothing for trans peoples' own struggles, anyway. As a trans person myself, I really don't see a lot of the otherkin community anyway, so again, as long as those people are helping themselves, it doesn't really matter to me.


----------



## Beardo

What to say to the homophobic/transphobic/racist kid to make him shut the **** up?


----------



## unintentional

Beardo said:


> What to say to the homophobic/transphobic/racist kid to make him shut the **** up?



Depends on what they said.  I've gone off on this one transphobic boy in school, but I don't remember what I said.


----------



## Goop

*awkward little waves*

Hi friends. I just wanted to put in that I'm currently dating a transgender male [FtM transition] and I just wanted to throw out there that I'd be happy to lend support and advice on how to cope with being in a romantic relationship with someone who is transgender. I've been with him for two years now, but have known him for four. He's my best friend and I love him dearly, and he's certainly brought to light a lot about myself and this world.

As for the topic of otherkin:
I would like to put out there that though there are some that feel a sense of dysphoria due to their phantom limbs, I have to say that from a medical standpoint that attaching limbs and extensions [i.e. wings and tails] to ones body can not only be harmful to the human one they possess, but it could also prove to be very insufficient for their daily lives. That, and it's also incredibly hard, and if one would like for the appendages to _work_ [a very big stretch and one that is likely never to happen] then they more often than not have to come from your body or ones body who is alive with the same or similar blood type. Not to mention it would require bone and etc. This includes a bunch of scarring and damage.​


----------



## matthevvv

Goop said:


> *awkward little waves*
> 
> Hi friends. I just wanted to put in that I'm currently dating a transgender male [FtM transition] and I just wanted to throw out there that I'd be happy to lend support and advice on how to cope with being in a romantic relationship with someone who is transgender. I've been with him for two years now, but have known him for four. He's my best friend and I love him dearly, and he's certainly brought to light a lot about myself and this world.
> 
> As for the topic of otherkin:
> I would like to put out there that though there are some that feel a sense of dysphoria due to their phantom limbs, I have to say that from a medical standpoint that attaching limbs and extensions [i.e. wings and tails] to ones body can not only be harmful to the human one they possess, but it could also prove to be very insufficient for their daily lives. That, and it's also incredibly hard, and if one would like for the appendages to _work_ [a very big stretch and one that is likely never to happen] then they more often than not have to come from your body or ones body who is alive with the same or similar blood type. Not to mention it would require bone and etc. This includes a bunch of scarring and damage.​



hey there! welcome. are you LGBTQ yourself? 
I'm trans and in a relationship as well so I can always lend support to YOU if you need it haha c;


----------



## Goop

matthevvv said:


> hey there! welcome. are you LGBTQ yourself?
> I'm trans and in a relationship as well so I can always lend support to YOU if you need it haha c;



Ah, thank you! That'd be wonderful, especially since sometimes I have no idea how to help or support him! ;;

And yes, I am. For a while I thought I was a lesbian, but I think it turns out I'm pansexual since I'm dating my boyfriend now. Not that I mind~ c:​


----------



## matthevvv

Goop said:


> Ah, thank you! That'd be wonderful, especially since sometimes I have no idea how to help or support him! ;;
> 
> And yes, I am. For a while I thought I was a lesbian, but I think it turns out I'm pansexual since I'm dating my boyfriend now. Not that I mind~ c:​



it's definitely hard to support trans people during certain things!! but the way you talk about him seems like you're doing just fine  
ahh interesting!! super cool, is it ok if I add you as a friend?


----------



## Goop

matthevvv said:


> it's definitely hard to support trans people during certain things!! but the way you talk about him seems like you're doing just fine
> ahh interesting!! super cool, is it ok if I add you as a friend?



Thank you! ;;"
And I'm certainly trying, haha. It's just sometimes I feel so bad, since he gets so down on himself when his dysphoria hits. I always make a point of telling him how handsome he is everyday and reminding him I'm there for him, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should be doing a little more, ya' know?

And of course! Anyone on here can add me as a friend, at that! vuv​


----------



## (ciel)

Goop said:


> Thank you! ;;"
> And I'm certainly trying, haha. It's just sometimes I feel so bad, since he gets so down on himself when his dysphoria hits. I always make a point of telling him how handsome he is everyday and reminding him I'm there for him, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should be doing a little more, ya' know?
> 
> And of course! Anyone on here can add me as a friend, at that! vuv​



It sounds like you're doing a really great job ^^ 

I'm also trans, so if you want to talk to anyone else, I'm here, too!


----------



## matthevvv

(ciel) said:


> It sounds like you're doing a really great job ^^
> 
> I'm also trans, so if you want to talk to anyone else, I'm here, too!



ah another trans person! i'm a trans guy, wbu?


----------



## (ciel)

matthevvv said:


> ah another trans person! i'm a trans guy, wbu?



I'm also a trans guy!


----------



## matthevvv

(ciel) said:


> I'm also a trans guy!


aah rad! are you on hormones?


----------



## (ciel)

matthevvv said:


> aah rad! are you on hormones?


Nah, I'm not really in the position to do that yet.


----------



## matthevvv

(ciel) said:


> Nah, I'm not really in the position to do that yet.



ahh fair enough dude


----------



## Dreamy Luigi

Americans: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/pe...law-ban-all-lgbtq-conversion-therapy/QPbYj38G

Just signed it


----------



## AndroGhostX

I'm genderqueer if anyone cares to know


----------



## matthevvv

AndroGhostx said:


> I'm genderqueer if anyone cares to know



cool!! they/them pronouns?


----------



## AndroGhostX

matthevvv said:


> cool!! they/them pronouns?



That's comfortable  Or at least my name (username in this case). My friends at school call me genderless sometimes


----------



## radical6

still honestly pissed off how two scammers got away with pretending to be a pair of siblings, big sister made post for the younger "trans" brother. they got around 5k in donations and the post got around 80k notes before it was revealed they were fake. they ran off with the ****in money. 

and i cant get 15 dollars for a binder
rip me


----------



## AndroGhostX

justice said:


> still honestly pissed off how two scammers got away with pretending to be a pair of siblings, big sister made post for the younger "trans" brother. they got around 5k in donations and the post got around 80k notes before it was revealed they were fake. they ran off with the ****in money.
> 
> and i cant get 15 dollars for a binder
> rip me



I would say that the positive side about that is that the support for transgenders is increasing but then again I don't think that argument is appropriate for the situation ._.


----------



## matthevvv

justice said:


> still honestly pissed off how two scammers got away with pretending to be a pair of siblings, big sister made post for the younger "trans" brother. they got around 5k in donations and the post got around 80k notes before it was revealed they were fake. they ran off with the ****in money.
> 
> and i cant get 15 dollars for a binder
> rip me



i agree. my boyfriend has a gofundme page up for his top surgery, and he has only 1% of his goal raised. i hope you get money for a binder soon <3


----------



## Heartcore

justice said:


> still honestly pissed off how two scammers got away with pretending to be a pair of siblings, big sister made post for the younger "trans" brother. they got around 5k in donations and the post got around 80k notes before it was revealed they were fake. they ran off with the ****in money.
> 
> and i cant get 15 dollars for a binder
> rip me



That kind of stuff happens all the time on tumblr. No one bothers to do research or look into things before jumping into them head first. Just look at Dashcon, the numerous false stories, and as of late-doxxing people who are in fact innocent. (As in, someone made up a fake status to get them in trouble via doxxing). It's a big ****hole lately. I barely go on tumblr anymore.


----------



## raeofsunshine

hi i'm also a trans guy *high fives, brothers*


----------



## Karminny

My really good friend is bi, and I went to her swee-- sorry, SOUR 16, and there was this guy who RADIATES gay and omg I love him so much.


----------



## matthevvv

raeofsunshine said:


> hi i'm also a trans guy *high fives, brothers*



high fives you back c;


----------



## (ciel)

raeofsunshine said:


> hi i'm also a trans guy *high fives, brothers*



High fives all around!


----------



## oath2order

Heartcore said:


> That kind of stuff happens all the time on tumblr. No one bothers to do research or look into things before jumping into them head first. Just look at Dashcon, the numerous false stories, and as of late-doxxing people who are in fact innocent. (As in, someone made up a fake status to get them in trouble via doxxing). It's a big ****hole lately. I barely go on tumblr anymore.



True that. I dunno why people don't do research before spending their money


----------



## lazuli

tthis is off topic but
umblr is funny when someone wants attention.......... hav you heard of ragingfeminist and how they supposedly sent topless snapchats to markiplier, who screenshotted them and 'hurt' them or whatever


----------



## oath2order

computertrash said:


> tthis is off topic but
> umblr is funny when someone wants attention.......... hav you heard of ragingfeminist and how they supposedly sent topless snapchats to markiplier, who screenshotted them and 'hurt' them or whatever



what

how did he "hurt" her them whatever


----------



## lazuli

oath2order said:


> what
> 
> how did he "hurt" her them whatever



read:
here

someone broke it down and in short, the OPs story is very unlikely here


----------



## Heartcore

Tumblr "feminists" are awful, tbh.


----------



## Lady Timpani

I deleted my tumblr awhile ago because it was becoming a really toxic environment for me, but I still go on occasionally. I don't check out many LGBT blogs anymore, which is kind of sad because the tumblr LGBT community made me feel really comfortable about my sexuality when I was first coming to terms with it. 

I think there are definitely some good blogs/ people out there, but having to sift through the bad ones to find the good ones is tiresome.


----------



## (ciel)

Lady Timpani said:


> I deleted my tumblr awhile ago because it was becoming a really toxic environment for me, but I still go on occasionally. I don't check out many LGBT blogs anymore, which is kind of sad because the tumblr LGBT community made me feel really comfortable about my sexuality when I was first coming to terms with it.
> 
> I think there are definitely some good blogs/ people out there, but having to sift through the bad ones to find the good ones is tiresome.



I mostly just follow people based off of interests, and a lot of them happen to be LGBT+, but yeah, I've had to unfollow toxic people in the past. I'm just glad that I've been lucky enough to meet some really great people and avoid a lot of bad ones.


----------



## raeofsunshine

ive never really run into any trouble on tumblr. if i see something on my dash i dont agree with, i just unfollow them, and that's so far kept me just fine. maybe i just try to ignore/stay out of the drama, cause i dont want it to ruin tumblr for me :/


----------



## Celestefey

raeofsunshine said:


> ive never really run into any trouble on tumblr. if i see something on my dash i dont agree with, i just unfollow them, and that's so far kept me just fine. maybe i just try to ignore/stay out of the drama, cause i dont want it to ruin tumblr for me :/



Best way to be, because some people on Tumblr are so assertive with their views, they'll just shut you down and insult you if you don't agree with them.

I think Tumblr can be very obnoxious at times, like "OHHH HURR HOW DARE YOU GET CONFUSED OVER PAN AND BI HURR". Before Tumblr, I never really knew MUCH about sexuality, I just assumed that there were only heterosexuals, homosexuals, and bisexuals, not the... Plethora of sexualities that many people on Tumblr say they are. So, I can totally empathise and understand why some people might come across as being "ignorant", it's just because we aren't educated on these issues, and we shouldn't shun people who choose not to. "IF YOU SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS REBLOG THIS POST, I'M JUDGING YOU IF YOU DON'T REBLOG THIS", etc. It's quite... Uh, threatening and intimidating community at times? I mean, I'd say I'm bisexual actually, but without Tumblr, I'm not sure if I'd ever have been so open or understanding about my sexuality. I mean, I've been sexually interested in both male and females, but only romantically interested in males.

I think it's a good platform for people to use to air their views and gain support from others similar to them and create a supportive community, but unfortunately it's the minority who ruin it for the majority. 

Unfortunately it's just gained a bad reputation now because of the minority of people who make EVERYONE seem bad.


----------



## lazuli

well you guys follow/see bad blogs then
i follow people due to fandoms or nice blogs like hanmii or siami and 'nice' ac blogs. occasionally ill see somethin bout drama or whatever but for the most part, my dash is good.


----------



## Heartcore

I have only had issues with one person on tumblr-and I never found out who they were since they insulted me on anon for a few weeks for "Culture appropriation". I wore a cosplay to a japanese festival with a cosplay fashion show this summer. Lol.


----------



## AndroGhostX

These are the reasons why I don't have a tumblr and similar accounts ._.


----------



## lazuli

AndroGhostx said:


> These are the reasons why I don't have a tumblr and similar accounts ._.



thats like saying 'chain food tacos are the reason why i dont like mexican food'
i mean its one part of the whole thing and??? you can find much better blogs to follow
if anyone just shoves crap down your throat just unfollow them


----------



## AndroGhostX

computertrash said:


> thats like saying 'chain food tacos are the reason why i dont like mexican food'
> i mean its one part of the whole thing and??? you can find much better blogs to follow
> if anyone just shoves crap down your throat just unfollow them



True but I haven't really gotten involved in sites like tumblr to begin with...


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

Yeah I find tumblr a lot more enjoyable ever since I decided to automatically unfollow anyone posting any kind of drama. Or really anything even vaguely social justice related. Even though I'm a feminist and very progressive and liberal, I like going on tumblr for fandoms and for fun, not to see an endless stream of slacktivism, and definitely not for drama. It's a little bit selfish I guess but whatever.


----------



## matthevvv

computertrash said:


> thats like saying 'chain food tacos are the reason why i dont like mexican food'
> i mean its one part of the whole thing and??? you can find much better blogs to follow
> if anyone just shoves crap down your throat just unfollow them



totally agree with you


----------



## matthevvv

i am surrounded by so many queer people i constantly forget there are heterosexuals in the world


----------



## ThePayne22

Any other demisexuals or others within the "Grey-A" range?

I just recently found out about demisexuality (always thought I was just weird; didn't know there was a term, lol) and was wondering how others deal when friends talk about physical attraction to others. I've kinda gotten used to it and can play along pretty well, but it can get pretty lonely not being able to talk about this kind of stuff with others, especially since a very small minority of people in LGBTQA groups are asexual. Feels like the A is really just tacked on as a formality.

Then again, that's mostly part of how this works out. My sexuality barely ever comes up in conversation, and when it does, I normally just claim to be bisexual (which is _technically_ true), cause it's hard to explain demisexuality to people y'know?

Regardless, what do you all think about demisexuality? 

Looking for some real conversation, but if you just wanna trash talk ironically/unironically, that's fine too. I've got tough skin, lol.

---

Just saw that there was a conversation about 10 pages ago. xD


----------



## AndroGhostX

I didn't add before but I'm attracted to males and I can't help that unfortunately :c I would love to be asexual yet I can't change what I am already.


----------



## oath2order

AndroGhostx said:


> I didn't add before but I'm attracted to males and I can't help that unfortunately :c I would love to be asexual yet I can't change what I am already.



Why do you want to be asexual


----------



## AndroGhostX

Eh reasons that I don't want to speak of xD


----------



## Gregriii

Bc being asexual is the best.


----------



## ThePayne22

AndroGhostx said:


> I didn't add before but I'm attracted to males and I can't help that unfortunately :c I would love to be asexual yet I can't change what I am already.



Well you can be hetero/homosexual (don't know if you're a guy or girl, lol.) without being interested in having a relationship.


----------



## AndroGhostX

Gregriii - Exactly xD

ThePayne - I don't associate myself as having a gender but I do hate my physical body and what gender I am physically. Possibly but then again I'm sure almost every human feels some sort of attraction toward someone. Those feelings are inevitable...


----------



## (ciel)

Gregriii said:


> Bc being asexual is the best.



Second this so much. Being ace is so nice.

Being aro, however, is more confusing.

- - - Post Merge - - -



AndroGhostx said:


> Gregriii - Exactly xD
> 
> ThePayne - I don't associate myself as having a gender but I do hate my physical body and what gender I am physically. Possibly but then again I'm sure almost every human feels some sort of attraction toward someone. Those feelings are inevitable...



It kind of sounds like you're talking about romantic attraction there, and aromanticism is a thing (and separate from asexuality). Like I mean I feel aesthetic attraction towards people of all sorts (like wow they're attractive) but I never have romantic feelings. I've been in a few romantic relationships and they've been weird and felt wrong to me.


----------



## AndroGhostX

I wasn't talking about romantic attraction.


----------



## Ghost Soda

i would hate being asexual, though.


----------



## aliscka

How do you guys feel about the distinction between bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality?

I really consider polysexuality to be a broader term that encompasses bi/pansexuality, but some people insist it's a completely different thing altogether...

Currently, I identify as bisexual (though technically I am a pansexual, I just don't feel the need to call myself by it and I also dislike having to explain it to everyone I meet) and I know that the reason pansexuality exists is because pan people reject the idea of binary genders (which I do as well, which is why I'm technically pan) but I was just wondering if anyone could explain why we need BOTH the terms polysexuality and pansexuality. And why some people get really offended if you call them pan when they're poly, vice versa, when they're, like... the same thing?


----------



## Bulbadragon

aliscka said:


> How do you guys feel about the distinction between bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality?
> 
> I really consider polysexuality to be a broader term that encompasses bi/pansexuality, but some people insist it's a completely different thing altogether...
> 
> Currently, I identify as bisexual (though technically I am a pansexual, I just don't feel the need to call myself by it and I also dislike having to explain it to everyone I meet) and I know that the reason pansexuality exists is because pan people reject the idea of binary genders (which I do as well, which is why I'm technically pan) but I was just wondering if anyone could explain why we need BOTH the terms polysexuality and pansexuality. And why some people get really offended if you call them pan when they're poly, vice versa, when they're, like... the same thing?



They aren't exactly the same thing. From my understanding, polysexuality is when you're attracted to multiple genders, but not all. Pansexuality is when you're attracted to all genders. Bisexuality is when you're attracted to two or more genders. I personally think poly and bi are closer than poly and pan, since they can both be more than one but not all. But hey, I think people should be able to label themselves as what they feel comfortable calling themselves. If they say they're poly or pan or bi or whatever, just respect it. Even if you don't understand why that term is necessary.


----------



## AndroGhostX

GhostSoda - Why is that?

Aliscka - There are so many sexualities these days. It seems almost unnecessary in a way by making sexuality more complicated than it should be. There may be a slight difference between poly and pan but they mean the same thing so I don't think we should be very technical about it. I don't think we need both terms in regards to that if we need two terms to broaden a sexuality defining an attraction to all genders but only an attraction to a certain aspect (age vs physical attraction) then shouldn't we need another sexuality to define being straight with those same aspects? The term bisexual irritates because it's more defined and exact relating to the attraction to both sexes while poly and pan are just the general term of being attracted to both sexes.


----------



## matthevvv

aliscka said:


> How do you guys feel about the distinction between bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality?
> 
> I really consider polysexuality to be a broader term that encompasses bi/pansexuality, but some people insist it's a completely different thing altogether...
> 
> Currently, I identify as bisexual (though technically I am a pansexual, I just don't feel the need to call myself by it and I also dislike having to explain it to everyone I meet) and I know that the reason pansexuality exists is because pan people reject the idea of binary genders (which I do as well, which is why I'm technically pan) but I was just wondering if anyone could explain why we need BOTH the terms polysexuality and pansexuality. And why some people get really offended if you call them pan when they're poly, vice versa, when they're, like... the same thing?



yeah what bulbadragon said! for example, i'm homosexual and polyromantic. i'm attracted romantically to guys and non binary folk, but this could be bisexual as well! 
but if you're comfortable with a label, use it <3


----------



## Ghost Soda

AndroGhostx said:


> GhostSoda - Why is that?
> 
> Aliscka - There are so many sexualities these days. It seems almost unnecessary in a way by making sexuality more complicated than it should be. There may be a slight difference between poly and pan but they mean the same thing so I don't think we should be very technical about it. I don't think we need both terms in regards to that if we need two terms to broaden a sexuality defining an attraction to all genders but only an attraction to a certain aspect (age vs physical attraction) then shouldn't we need another sexuality to define being straight with those same aspects? The term bisexual irritates because it's more defined and exact relating to the attraction to both sexes while poly and pan are just the general term of being attracted to both sexes.



from what i understand, being asexual is just being not interested in sex with others or something. that's just not for me is all.


----------



## f11

aliscka said:


> How do you guys feel about the distinction between bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality?
> 
> I really consider polysexuality to be a broader term that encompasses bi/pansexuality, but some people insist it's a completely different thing altogether...
> 
> Currently, I identify as bisexual (though technically I am a pansexual, I just don't feel the need to call myself by it and I also dislike having to explain it to everyone I meet) and I know that the reason pansexuality exists is because pan people reject the idea of binary genders (which I do as well, which is why I'm technically pan) but I was just wondering if anyone could explain why we need BOTH the terms polysexuality and pansexuality. And why some people get really offended if you call them pan when they're poly, vice versa, when they're, like... the same thing?


some people describe bisexually by one gender + your gender. Pan is all gender i think though, idk.


----------



## Heartcore

It's all so confusing to me. It makes my head spin ;o;


----------



## raeofsunshine

i identified as bisexual for the longest time (idk where i am now i've just drifted into queer territory i guess) but the definition of bisexuality that i found most helpful/easiest/fit the best was attracted to those of the same gender and those of other genders. 
Which could be pansexuality at a technical level, but it also might not mean ALL genders, which pan does. there's also a heavy emphasis on putting the person/personality before the gender identity of a person. polysexuality functions more like bisexual in that definition as well. the thing that bothered/s me the most is/was people insisting i identify as pan and not bi because bi means TWO, and yeah, same and different that's two. i'm not attracted to everyone/putting personality before gender. 

at the end of the day the difference is whatever the person identifying as that sexuality wants to make it. if it encompasses how they feel and what they feel comfortable with, more power to them.


----------



## Mercedes

I'm so gay for this girl. Like so gay. I need her. But she's straight


----------



## Murray

Luckypinch said:


> I'm so gay for this girl. Like so gay. I need her. But she's straight



Then too bad she is off limits


----------



## Mercedes

Murray said:


> Then too bad she is off limits



Sobs ik ;u;


----------



## matthevvv

Luckypinch said:


> Sobs ik ;u;



dont give up too early, i thought my crush was straight until i told them i liked them  then we kinda started trying things, because they were unsure of their feelings, and we ended up dating for a year! 

i mean, definitely don't push it, but don't be afraid either


----------



## Goop

Luckypinch said:


> Sobs ik ;u;



It's okay, hun. vuv
Sometimes just being friends with someone you care a lot about is so much more rewarding, ya' know?​


----------



## matthevvv

Goop said:


> It's okay, hun. vuv
> Sometimes just being friends with someone you care a lot about is so much more rewarding, ya' know?​



and of course, if she insists she's straight, this is definitely good


----------



## AndroGhostX

No having feelings for someone who you know doesn't feel the same is the worst! Even if you are friends :c


----------



## Goop

AndroGhostx said:


> No having feelings for someone who you know doesn't feel the same is the worst! Even if you are friends :c



Hence why I said sometimes.

But if you truly cared for the person, wouldn't you want them to be happy? Truthfully, if the person I care for is happier with someone else, then seeing them with the person who makes them happy would make me happy.​


----------



## Lady Timpani

What are those of you who are in relationships doing for Valentine's Day? 

I don't have a girlfriend, but one of my friends asked me to be her Valentine, so I'll probably make cookies or cupcakes and bring them in for lunch the day before. Then I'll be touring a college on the actual day, haha. 

What about you guys?


----------



## Goop

Lady Timpani said:


> What are those of you who are in relationships doing for Valentine's Day?
> 
> I don't have a girlfriend, but one of my friends asked me to be her Valentine, so I'll probably make cookies or cupcakes and bring them in for lunch the day before. Then I'll be touring a college on the actual day, haha.
> 
> What about you guys?



I'm probably going to go see _The Kingsmen_ with my boyfriend on the 13th and stay the night onto Valentine's Day. We'll probably just hang out. vuv​


----------



## AndroGhostX

True, but the person I want is struggling with depression and he doesn't want a relationship with anyone. It's painful to sit there and watch him wait it out because I've tried to help him. My point of view on love is to ask the person who you like before it's too late because you may not get the chance or you may get the chance after you have spent quite awhile contemplating if you should tell them how you feel or not. That's why I am not hesitate to tell someone how I feel about them.

Valentines Day - I don't have anyone and we don't have a Valentine's day dance at my school so I'll most likely stay at home and do what I normally do every day.


----------



## Goop

AndroGhostx said:


> True, but the person I want is struggling with depression and he doesn't want a relationship with anyone. It's painful to sit there and watch him wait it out because I've tried to help him. My point of view on love is to ask the person who you like before it's too late because you may not get the chance or you may get the chance after you have spent quite awhile contemplating if you should tell them how you feel or not. That's why I am not hesitate to tell someone how I feel about them.



And I definitely understand how that can be painful, but if you have told them how they feel and they don't want a relationship, then you should respect that.
If someone is struggling with depression or any sort of mental illness, there is ultimately nothing you can do besides tell them that you're there for them and will love and support them. Depression is something that only the person can deal with and decide for themselves what they want to do. I'm going through a similar problem where my boyfriend is transgendered. I cannot magically make him the gender he wants to be. If I could, I most definitely would, but I cannot. Therefore, the only thing I can do and what I am in control of is how I express to him my support and use the proper pronouns and tell him how much I care for him.

I don't want to sound harsh or that there's no hope, but a lot of people think that there's something they can do about mental illness. Unless you're a therapist or a psychiatrist, there really is not anything besides just offering support and trying to cheer them up or just be a great friend.​


----------



## AndroGhostX

It's a long story but he did have feelings for me before he was diagnosed with depression. I do support and try to cheer him up as a friend because although I want us to be more than friends, I'm happy being his friend as well. It's just that he is all I think about :c I suffer from depression too but I've been happy majority of this month. Although I'm not sure why because my daily routine isn't different than from last year and nothing exciting/good has happened to me this month. Part of why I can't help him is because I never figured out how to help myself.


----------



## elliebeebee

I have a question that is probably really dumb. I think I'm agender since I never feel like a girl or a boy. But how do I tell?


----------



## oath2order

elliebeebee said:


> I have a question that is probably really dumb. I think I'm agender since I never feel like a girl or a boy. But how do I tell?



How exactly does anyone feel like a girl or a boy.


----------



## elliebeebee

I dunno, that's the thing. I don't feel like anything. I don't look in the mirror and see a girl, I just see me.


----------



## Brackets

elliebeebee said:


> I dunno, that's the thing. I don't feel like anything. I don't look in the mirror and see a girl, I just see me.



but does anyone look in the mirror and say 'oh hey look i'm a girl'


----------



## unintentional

Lady Timpani said:


> What are those of you who are in relationships doing for Valentine's Day?
> 
> I don't have a girlfriend, but one of my friends asked me to be her Valentine, so I'll probably make cookies or cupcakes and bring them in for lunch the day before. Then I'll be touring a college on the actual day, haha.
> 
> What about you guys?



I always fix cookies for my friends that say "nerd <3" on them just for funs.  I had a girl ask me to be her valentine so she could finally "know what it's like to be in lesbian" and that was the only time I've slapped a girl at school.  Not because it was weird, but because she does this every year to different girls and then laugh at them when they sa sure.


----------



## Karminny

Annachie said:


> but does anyone look in the mirror and say 'oh hey look i'm a girl'



Sometimes I do. It's kinda more like I kinda stand infront of the mirror, think 'wow im actually a girl" then I criticize my figure.


----------



## AndroGhostX

Ellie - Eh you can't really discern how to feel like a male or female because of society and gender roles. From a trans point of view, you can feel like the other gender than what your body depicts so I suppose it's more of mental judgement when looking in a mirror than a visual one.

Saint_Jimmy - Hmmm... Can I get a cookie so I don't feel as lonely?  I would have acted all lesbian on her just to creep her out and then laugh about it afterwards.


----------



## Hana-Nezumi

elliebeebee said:


> I dunno, that's the thing. I don't feel like anything. I don't look in the mirror and see a girl, I just see me.



Here are some questions it might be helpful to ask yourself.

Would you like to be called "he" or "she"? Or maybe "they"? Even if it doesn't really matter, do you prefer one term over the other just a bit, or does one term feel weird and not right to you?
What about Miss/Mister and Ma'am/Sir?
Are you happy with the gender you you were presumed to be at birth? Do you feel comfortable in your body? Do you ever feel like you would be happier with the body of the opposite gender?
If you do have a problem with the gender you were presumed to be, is it truly inherent to the gender, or is it just because of what society "expects" of that gender? Keep in mind, you can totally challenge traditional gender roles while still identifying as the gender you were presumed to be.

Don't worry if you're unsure. It might take you a while to figure it out. It took me many years to realize what gender I am. Good luck. ^^


----------



## matthevvv

elliebeebee said:


> I have a question that is probably really dumb. I think I'm agender since I never feel like a girl or a boy. But how do I tell?



this isn't dumb at all! If you don't feel like a girl or boy you could very well be agender! You don't have to know anything for sure yet, you'll figure it out


----------



## Zanessa

RIP me
I want kids but I hate the idea of sex. What shall I doooooo??


----------



## Aryxia

ZanessaGaily said:


> RIP me
> I want kids but I hate the idea of sex. What shall I doooooo??



There are plenty of options, ie adoption, surrogates,etc. but they're all pretty costly :/


----------



## Lady Timpani

ZanessaGaily said:


> RIP me
> I want kids but I hate the idea of sex. What shall I doooooo??



You could always adopt! Or, if you want them naturally, you could do IVF.


----------



## oath2order

ZanessaGaily said:


> RIP me
> I want kids but I hate the idea of sex. What shall I doooooo??



...adopt

like that's the best suggestion


----------



## Zanessa

I meant "my own" rip

Like my mom really wants me to have my own kids but sex is just 0_0 for me


----------



## Tao

oath2order said:


> ...adopt
> 
> like that's the best suggestion



Whilst adoption is always a nice option (giving an unfortunate kid a family is always nice) a lot of people would rather have their 'own' kid. Whether it matters that a child is genetically yours or not is an entirely different debate but for most people, it does if there's nothing medically stopping them from doing it themselves.


I know that when the time comes I would prefer my child to actually be 'from me'...Unless it turns out my balls don't work, in which case I'll adopt. Preferably a child with a totally different ethnicity from my own so that I'll never have to have the awkward "am I adopted?" conversation since it's quite obvious without asking me that they are.


----------



## infinikitten

/waves a tiny "B" flag

Not planning on having any kids even though the option's there though and I get a lot of **** for it from virtually anyone who hears :\ God forbid a woman not want to procreate.

I would rather have the "are you straight or gay? you have to choose one, you can't have both!!" conversation a million times over than deal with people telling me I don't know what to do with my own body tbh.

Though the sexuality conversations are frustrating in their own way for sure. Fun memories of trying to come out when I was still in school and having several friends be like "ugh, that's disgusting, are you joking?" so I just played along and 'took it back' and only dated guys. And they all ended up being *******s too (understatement of the YEAR) so ughhh. I was raised in a sad little isolated suburban town so despite having the obligatory GSA program in high school, no one was very kind or open about it in reality.


----------



## Beardo

I'm pansexual (I think), but even though I'll pretty much date anyone, I'm scared I'm never going to find love or a good relationship. I mean, I'm still young, but it's a scary thought. Plus, everyone at this age thinks being anything other than straight is weird, so I can't really act on my feelings/attractions to people.


----------



## AndroGhostX

ZanessaGaily said:


> I meant "my own" rip
> 
> Like my mom really wants me to have my own kids but sex is just 0_0 for me



Go with surgery. There are methods where you can have children without sex. Unless you are saying that you don't want to get pregnant? But then again you can also have a female who is pregnant with your child (yes the child will have your genetics).



Beardo said:


> I'm pansexual (I think), but even though I'll pretty much date anyone, I'm scared I'm never going to find love or a good relationship. I mean, I'm still young, but it's a scary thought. Plus, everyone at this age thinks being anything other than straight is weird, so I can't really act on my feelings/attractions to people.



I dunno about everyone thinking anything other than straight is weird. Although that population may depend on the age group and location. There seems to be a lot of different sexualities other than straight at my school and it seems that that has become accepting to the younger generation.


----------



## Beardo

AndroGhostx said:


> I dunno about everyone thinking anything other than straight is weird. Although that population may depend on the age group and location. There seems to be a lot of different sexualities other than straight at my school and it seems that that has become accepting to the younger generation.


There are kids pretending to be things other than straight, just to be different, but if someone was actually pan/bi/gay/something else and acted on it, it would be "weird"


----------



## AndroGhostX

Beardo said:


> There are kids pretending to be things other than straight, just to be different, but if someone was actually pan/bi/gay/something else and acted on it, it would be "weird"



There are those pretenders but it doesn't mean everyone is like that. So what if they judge us as "weird". I'm proud to be weird and you should too. If the people you care about don't accept you for who you are then don't let that stop you from being who you are. Sexuality isn't a choice. If they can't accept you then forget them. Gah this whole paragraphs sounds so cliche but it's true! :3


----------



## Heartcore

AndroGhostx said:


> There are those pretenders but it doesn't mean everyone is like that. So what if they judge us as "weird". I'm proud to be weird and you should too. If the people you care about don't accept you for who you are then don't let that stop you from being who you are. Sexuality isn't a choice. If they can't accept you then forget them. Gah this whole paragraphs sounds so cliche but it's true! :3



It does sound so cliche. Lol. 

The truth of the matter is, humanity is always going to be messed up in a way. We fear people who are different and when we fear something, we lash out at it angrily. Yes, the situations are getting better in some places, but in other places it's getting worse. All we can do is try to be better than our parents and raise the next generation to be better than us. But there will always be turds.


----------



## AndroGhostX

I don't think I've had any fear towards someone who was different than me  Besides that I'm pretty fearless, I guess it's because I can understand where they are coming from and why they are different. The next generation has the most power. Teach them what you want, they may follow or ignore you but in the end  they choose what happens in the world.


----------



## Heartcore

AndroGhostx said:


> I don't think I've had any fear towards someone who was different than me  Besides that I'm pretty fearless, I guess it's because I can understand where they are coming from and why they are different. The next generation has the most power. Teach them what you want, they may follow or ignore you but in the end  they choose what happens in the world.



I never said you. I said the human population as a whole.


----------



## Sporge27

This thread is still a thing 
Makes me glad, I might have been one of the first openly gay guys on here way back in the day.  

Course I  mostly just lurk on these forums nowadays haha


----------



## AndroGhostX

Heartcore said:


> I never said you. I said the human population as a whole.



I know... Eh, we'll just leave it at that.


----------



## Bowie

Sporge27 said:


> This thread is still a thing
> Makes me glad, I might have been one of the first openly gay guys on here way back in the day.
> 
> Course I  mostly just lurk on these forums nowadays haha



Hey, I always wondered what you were like!


----------



## Beardo

AndroGhostx said:


> There are those pretenders but it doesn't mean everyone is like that. So what if they judge us as "weird". I'm proud to be weird and you should too. If the people you care about don't accept you for who you are then don't let that stop you from being who you are. Sexuality isn't a choice. If they can't accept you then forget them. Gah this whole paragraphs sounds so cliche but it's true! :3



I don't mind the judgement if it's to my face, and I can talk back. It's the little side glances and people talking about me and the negative attention I don't want. I've never been the kind of person to be concerned about this kind of stuff, but people are rude and snotty and judgmental and vicious, and I don't want to be their target.


----------



## AndroGhostX

Beardo said:


> I don't mind the judgement if it's to my face, and I can talk back. It's the little side glances and people talking about me and the negative attention I don't want. I've never been the kind of person to be concerned about this kind of stuff, but people are rude and snotty and judgmental and vicious, and I don't want to be their target.



But would you rather live your life hiding your sexuality or actually be proud of who you are even if there are people who don't accept you? It's more painful to hide who you are than to live the way you want to (in my opinion of course).


----------



## Heartcore

AndroGhostx said:


> But would you rather live your life hiding your sexuality or actually be proud of who you are even if there are people who don't accept you? It's more painful to hide who you are than to live the way you want to (in my opinion of course).



You know people get murdered every single day for not hiding their sexuality, right? Sometimes people HAVE to hide themselves for their own safety.


----------



## brutalitea

Heartcore said:


> You know people get murdered every single day for not hiding their sexuality, right? Sometimes people HAVE to hide themselves for their own safety.



THIS. This is why I always get so pissed when people out other people without their permission and then have the nerve to act like they're doing the person a favor.


----------



## Heartcore

Tae said:


> THIS. This is why I always get so pissed when people out other people without their permission and then have the nerve to act like they're doing the person a favor.



Being gay isn't all peachy keen. Marriage equality isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I don't think people get it. People are so trapped in their own little bubble that they don't realize what other people are going through. While your life may be okay and you can be out and proud, in Russia, people are beaten and murdered for being gay. Johnny's parents might disown him for being gay because it's against their religion and he'll have no where to live. Not to mention all the horrible crimes against trans folk (particularly trans women) and the HUGE problem with Homeless LGBTQA youth (primarily because they've been disowned by their families). 

If we lived in a world where everyone could be out and proud and it all be a happy world full of sunshine with no troubles, that'd be great, but unfortunately, we don't. People typically won't hide their sexuality if they don't have a reason to.


----------



## AndroGhostX

There is a scientific theory to explain homosexuality. I'm sure that there is one to explain trans as well. We just need someway to accurately prove it, then maybe, hopefully, the human population will change their views. Tae does prove a point. This group isn't a threat to the human population like the ones doing the killing think we are. It's not like if homosexuality was legal that the whole world would turn gay all of a sudden. 1. Because that makes no sense a all. 2. Because gays aren't a threat to the world. There will still be humans who aren't physically attracted to the same gender, then they can be the ones to procreate. Homosexuality isn't the end of the world >.> We just live in a world with ignorant people. It's true. I watched this short film about what if homosexuality was the norm and heterosexuality wasn't. The girl was bullied for being straight and being the a breeder. Homosexuality may be the norm, but it doesn't make sense to want to kill off or discriminate a person who is the one of those who can breed to prevent the human population from dying off. Doing that is just plain stupid. Of course they won't change right away, but with time... I know my state is actually deciding whether or not to legalize gay marriage. That's a shock considering how conservative my state is for other laws. There is hope that the law will get passed though.


----------



## pocky

When I first posted on this thread, I shared a quote:

"You mustn't think poorly of your son because he is homosexual. He is not at all to blame for his orientation. It is neither a vice nor a crime, indeed, not even an illness, but instead a variation, one of the borderline cases that occur frequently in nature. Your son suffers not from his condition, but rather from the false judgement of it. This is the legal and social condemnation of his feelings, along with widespread misconceptions about their expression."​
You wanna know something about this quote? It's from a movie called Anders als die Andern (Different from the Others) which came out in 1919. No. That's not a typo. That movie quote is almost 100 years old! You'd think that, having had this information for so long, we'd be more open minded as a whole. But there are still so many people out there who bring harm and sometimes even kill members of the LGBTQA community.


----------



## Jarrad

AndroGhostx said:


> There is a scientific theory to explain homosexuality. I'm sure that there is one to explain trans as well. We just need someway to accurately prove it, then maybe, hopefully, the human population will change their views. Tae does prove a point. This group isn't a threat to the human population like the ones doing the killing think we are. It's not like if homosexuality was legal that the whole world would turn gay all of a sudden. 1. Because that makes no sense a all. 2. Because gays aren't a threat to the world. There will still be humans who aren't physically attracted to the same gender, then they can be the ones to procreate. Homosexuality isn't the end of the world >.> We just live in a world with ignorant people. It's true. I watched this short film about what if homosexuality was the norm and heterosexuality wasn't. The girl was bullied for being straight and being the a breeder. Homosexuality may be the norm, but it doesn't make sense to want to kill off or discriminate a person who is the one of those who can breed to prevent the human population from dying off. Doing that is just plain stupid. Of course they won't change right away, but with time... I know my state is actually deciding whether or not to legalize gay marriage. That's a shock considering how conservative my state is for other laws. There is hope that the law will get passed though.



Knowledge wouldn't be enough to change the way people think. Look at black people, there still exist extreme racists that pride themselves on ridding the USA of black people. Heck, thousands of women are still being oppressed by men in the USA. Regardless of what happens today, there will *always* exist people that live in the shadows of their ancestors. What I mean by all of this is that the human population will never change its view on anything, because there will always be millions of people in some parts of the world that live their lives in ordinance to their ancestors.

I think the solution to this is not trying to change the way people think, but instead trying to surround yourself with people that meet your social expectations.


----------



## Heartcore

Jarrad said:


> Knowledge wouldn't be enough to change the way people think. Look at black people, there still exist extreme racists that pride themselves on ridding the USA of black people. Heck, thousands of women are still being oppressed by men in the USA. Regardless of what happens today, there will *always* exist people that live in the shadows of their ancestors. What I mean by all of this is that the human population will never change its view on anything, because there will always be millions of people in some parts of the world that live their lives in ordinance to their ancestors.
> 
> I think the solution to this is not trying to change the way people think, but instead trying to surround yourself with people that meet your social expectations.



Agreed. You'll never be able to change the minds of people who are close minded-even with knowledge. As you said, people have legally not been able to discriminate against race for a long time now, but it still happens. It will always happen. You have to just find your niche and stay there, while still fighting for those who can't fight for themselves, because their lives are at stake.


----------



## Lady Timpani

Most of what I want to say has already been said here, but I'm gonna chime in anyway and add that scientific facts will not help sway the minds of the more intolerant people. There's a scientific basis for a lot of things (global warming, for example), and some people still refuse to believe that those things exist or are true. And, as has already been pointed out, laws may change due to said scientific evidence, but that doesn't mean that people's minds will change, unfortunately. 

Also: some people, somewhere, may get it into their heads that they could somehow eradicate the "gay gene" (not saying that's what you're talking about, but I think it might be?) or other things that are linked to being gay/bi/etc., and that wouldn't help at all.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, I think I should add that I'm not trying to be negative! I want things to improve as well, but science isn't necessarily going to cause some huge change for LGBT people and how bigots see them.


----------



## matthevvv

there's no scientific basis for sexuality


----------



## oath2order

matthevvv said:


> there's no scientific basis for sexuality



[citation needed please give one]


----------



## radical6

I wore a bow tie to school and everyone was okay. Only one questioned why and got mad at me (????) but it was nice


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> I wore a bow tie to school and everyone was okay. Only one questioned why and got mad at me (????) but it was nice &#55357;&#56846;&#55357;&#56846;



do people seriously consider bowties as gendered -_-


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> do people seriously consider bowties as gendered -_-



i was dressing a bit masc and i have short hair so ppl probably just thgt i was a guy if they didnt know me but some were very confused since my band teacher is starting to use my preferred name now =^) but yes people still do..idk why like i wore a red tie for my jazz band performance (all the guys did, so i was like why not) and my parents were absolutely furious at me and its a shame cuz i rly love bow ties and ties =/


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> i was dressing a bit masc and i have short hair so ppl probably just thgt i was a guy if they didnt know me but some were very confused since my band teacher is starting to use my preferred name now =^) but yes people still do..idk why like i wore a red tie for my jazz band performance (all the guys did, so i was like why not) and my parents were absolutely furious at me and its a shame cuz i rly love bow ties and ties =/



stg the bubble i live in is ridiculous. my sister wears bow ties to school constantly, and either she gets crap and doesn't care, or more likely just people don't care. Good on your band teacher, what about the rest of 'em? good well fk ur parents it's just clothing jfc I honestly thought bow ties were normal as a multi-gender fashion accessory


----------



## oath2order

http://www.cracked.com/article_2209...earned-transitioning-from-female-to-male.html

I found this an interesting read


----------



## WhiskeyTortoise

I'm a pansexual trans man, and like.. Wow. I kind of wasn't expecting to find this thread? It didn't seem like something that'd be so big, either.

For everyone who isn't out/is out and isn't accepted, feel free to message me? Like, I'm still in a bad situation myself with that, and I'd love to share stories/tips for coping/just generally be a listening ear. It really does get better, slowly but surely, and I'm happy to help if anyone needs someone to talk to.


----------



## Franny

WhiskeyTortoise said:


> I'm a pansexual trans man, and like.. Wow. I kind of wasn't expecting to find this thread? It didn't seem like something that'd be so big, either.
> 
> For everyone who isn't out/is out and isn't accepted, feel free to message me? Like, I'm still in a bad situation myself with that, and I'd love to share stories/tips for coping/just generally be a listening ear. It really does get better, slowly but surely, and I'm happy to help if anyone needs someone to talk to.



that is absolutely sweet of you to do  hopefully you can help plenty of people, you seem nice enough to do just right!


----------



## Mercedes

I told my teachers to call me Concreta or Flower and they all said no -.-


----------



## Jarrad

Do trans men still have periods? I know that some take testosterone so that they can have a deeper voice/more hair, so would the testosterone affect the uterus' ability to produce eggs?

- - - Post Merge - - -



Luckypinch said:


> I told my teachers to call me Concreta or Flower and they all said no -.-



..why would they lol


----------



## matthevvv

Jarrad said:


> Do trans men still have periods? I know that some take testosterone so that they can have a deeper voice/more hair, so would the testosterone affect the uterus' ability to produce eggs?




testosterone affects the cycle, yeah.


----------



## Beardo

My friend on Instagram is a trans drag queen, but she's not 18 and has to still deal with her parents (mom and step dad). They're extremely verbally abusive, and at one point kicked her out of the house, and only let her back in when she went "back in the closet". Today, she posted about how her mom took all of her boy clothes and her binders, and only left her a dress, so she had to go to school dressed as a girl. She seems extremely suicidal, and I don't want anything to happen to her. She's a kind person, and a beautiful girl, but hearing about this stuff breaks my heart. I don't know what to do...


----------



## Ghost Soda

Beardo said:


> My friend on Instagram is a trans drag queen, but she's not 18 and has to still deal with her parents (mom and step dad). They're extremely verbally abusive, and at one point kicked her out of the house, and only let her back in when she went "back in the closet". Today, she posted about how her mom took all of her boy clothes and her binders, and only left her a dress, so she had to go to school dressed as a girl. She seems extremely suicidal, and I don't want anything to happen to her. She's a kind person, and a beautiful girl, but hearing about this stuff breaks my heart. I don't know what to do...



talk to her.

maybe there's some cps she can get help from.


----------



## lazuli

mfw ppl in the guess the person above you's gender are only saying male or female


----------



## Brackets

computertrash said:


> mfw ppl in the guess the person above you's gender are only saying male or female



what's so wrong with that? most people identify as male or female, so if you're in a thread for guessing someone's gender it's stupid to get offended if people only say those imo.


----------



## lazuli

Brackets said:


> what's so wrong with that? most people identify as male or female, so if you're in a thread for guessing someone's gender it's stupid to get offended if people only say those imo.



but its not like theres not other genders....... idk its just kind of bothering me, thats all


----------



## Murray

computertrash said:


> mfw ppl in the guess the person above you's gender are only saying male or female



I hope you are joking


----------



## Brackets

computertrash said:


> but its not like theres not other genders....... idk its just kind of bothering me, thats all



it seems like you're just looking for things to be offended at. it's a freaking 'guess the gender' thread of course they're going to be saying male or female...


----------



## fup10k

Brackets said:


> it seems like you're just looking for things to be offended at. it's a freaking 'guess the gender' thread of course they're going to be saying male or female...



What's wrong with trying to crush the concept of there only being 2 genders??? 
??? 
??
How is it any different guessing "I think they're bigender!" than "I think they're male!" you know. 
I don't think that's a silly thing to get offended over.


----------



## Murray

fup10k said:


> What's wrong with trying to crush the concept of there only being 2 genders???
> ???
> ??
> How is it any different guessing "I think they're bigender!" than "I think they're male!" you know.
> I don't think that's a silly thing to get offended over.



Because there's no need to 'crush' the concept of there being 2 genders just as there is no need to crush the concept of there being more than 2 genders.


----------



## fup10k

Murray said:


> Because there's no need to 'crush' the concept of there being 2 genders just as there is no need to crush the concept of there being more than 2 genders.



Wait, why not? What's wrong with promoting a gender spectrum instead of a binary? :/ The current idea of gender is really harmful to a lot of people. Promoting a spectrum idea helps others.


----------



## Heartcore

fup10k said:


> Wait, why not? What's wrong with promoting a gender spectrum instead of a binary? :/ The current idea of gender is really harmful to a lot of people. Promoting a spectrum idea helps others.



having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card


----------



## fup10k

Heartcore said:


> Don't even bother arguing with people on here about stuff like that.
> 
> They're all idiots.



Well, I don't think there's a need to call them "idiots" but idk. i just kinda figured with an LGBTQA+ Support thread people would be more....  .... supportive.


----------



## Heartcore

bein gay is fun


----------



## lazuli

wow i should not say anything ever bc ppl will get offended or start arguing !!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Murray

computertrash said:


> wow i should not say anything ever bc ppl will get offended or start arguing !!!!!!!!!!!!!



It's how toxic the community becomes over such things, but alas, it's biggest problem is itself


----------



## Jarrad

computertrash said:


> wow i should not say anything ever bc ppl will get offended or start arguing !!!!!!!!!!!!!



regardless of what you say somebody on the internet will always be offended because everybody loves letting everything offend them


----------



## Brackets

fup10k said:


> Wait, why not? What's wrong with promoting a gender spectrum instead of a binary? :/ The current idea of gender is really harmful to a lot of people. Promoting a spectrum idea helps others.



I have no problem with people promoting a gender spectrum, but getting offended over a 'guess the gender' thread is a bit much. I'm sure the people on that thread are aware that there are people who don't identify as male or female but the thread is just a laugh, there's no need to berate people about it.


----------



## fup10k

Brackets said:


> I have no problem with people promoting a gender spectrum, but getting offended over a 'guess the gender' thread is a bit much. I'm sure the people on that thread are aware that there are people who don't identify as male or female but the thread is just a laugh, there's no need to berate people about it.



He didn't "berate" people he just said he was unhappy because it's only male/female guesses, which is a valid complaint. He didn't say "TEAR DOWN THE ENTIRE THREAD BECAUSE IT DOESN'T CATER TO ME"

idk i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting there to be non-binary guesses, and saying things like 'of course it's male/female guesses only' is harmful. I just kind of took it as an invitation to start some non-binary guesses of our own on there since this was posted under a support thread.


----------



## Murray

fup10k said:


> He didn't "berate" people he just said he was unhappy because it's only male/female guesses, which is a valid complaint. He didn't say "TEAR DOWN THE ENTIRE THREAD BECAUSE IT DOESN'T CATER TO ME"
> 
> idk i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting there to be non-binary guesses, and saying things like 'of course it's male/female guesses only' is harmful. I just kind of took it as an invitation to start some non-binary guesses of our own on there since this was posted under a support thread.



Unless you actually think someone is non-binary it's pretty stupid to make a non-binary guess just for the sake of supporting your concept


----------



## fup10k

Murray said:


> Unless you actually think someone is non-binary it's pretty stupid to make non-binary just for the sake of supporting your concept



But it's for fun, right? So.... what's wrong with that? I don't understand what the problem is if it's a thread just for laughs.

Edit: like let's say someone guesses i'm male even though i'm not. I'm not going to get offended by it, because it's just for fun. If someone guesses i'm non-binary even though i'm not, i'm not going to get offended, because it's just for fun.


----------



## lazuli

rip me for feeling invalid now !!!


----------



## Murray

fup10k said:


> Wait, why not? What's wrong with promoting a gender spectrum instead of a binary? :/ The current idea of gender is really harmful to a lot of people. Promoting a spectrum idea helps others.





fup10k said:


> But it's for fun, right? So.... what's wrong with that? I don't understand what the problem is if it's a thread just for laughs.
> 
> Edit: like let's say someone guesses i'm male even though i'm not. I'm not going to get offended by it, because it's just for fun. If someone guesses i'm non-binary even though i'm not, i'm not going to get offended, because it's just for fun.



just for fun mmk


----------



## lazuli

Murray said:


> just for fun mmk



mmk


----------



## fup10k

Murray said:


> just for fun mmk



Except they were referring to two different things? ???? ???
do u read everything thoroughly or??? no?


----------



## Murray

fup10k said:


> Except they were referring to two different things? ???? ???
> do u read everything thoroughly or??? no?



no because it's just for fun mmk


----------



## oath2order

Murray said:


> Unless you actually think someone is non-binary it's pretty stupid to make a non-binary guess just for the sake of supporting your concept



I've been meaning to comment on this but this is much more polite than how I would word it


----------



## infinikitten

What in nine hells is even happening in this thread anymore


----------



## Beardo

I assumed that people who didn't identify as a gender/more than 1 would avoid that thread, just so they could avoid being offended or whatever. Like, not everyone is going to automatically know what you identify as, so going to a thread like that is just asking for a fight.


----------



## queertactics

hey so not to bring this back from the dead but im having hella depression from gender dysphoria (mostly because like,, bipolar disorder, but also because gender dysphoria) and like, i'm missing school and appointments;;; does anyone like. know how to force themselves out of a rut. yknow. 

like i have **** i need to get done does anyone know how to stop being depressed immediately


----------



## radical6

No one is Surpised by the fact I have a gf I bet they knew I was gay cuz I wore plaid lmao

also on a side note my friend wore plaid too and her mom kept asking her if she was a lesbian LMAO


----------



## pocky

justice said:


> No one is Surpised by the fact I have a gf I bet they knew I was gay cuz I wore plaid lmao
> 
> also on a side note my friend wore plaid too and her mom kept asking her if she was a lesbian LMAO



I wear doc marten boots most of the time and its mainly just girls that hit on me. Guys will only hit on me when I wear different shoes. Just something I've noticed LOL


----------



## DarkFox7

I'm starting to think that I'm slightly bi. I've always been straight and totally boy crazy but lately I'm starting to notice girls more. Not too long ago I had a crush on my boyfriend's sister. I brushed it off because I assumed it might be because they look alike. But I also like SOME nsfw art stuff involving females. Not a lot though, just some. It feels weird because I don't really want to consider myself bi. Like, it would take a lot for me to date a girl yet I find girl stuff interesting sometimes. What do you guys think? Because I don't know what to think about it ;~;


----------



## Mango

his name is damien, he's a trans 13 year old and he's on life support because of transphobes. 2nd suicide THIS week


----------



## pocky

Mango said:


> his name is damien, he's a trans 13 year old and he's on life support because of transphobes. 2nd suicide THIS week



Second suicide that's gained the media's attention*
It's scary to think how many more could be out there. The world truly is a horrible place.


----------



## Mango

pocky said:


> Second suicide that's gained the media's attention*
> It's scary to think how many more could be out there. The world truly is a horrible place.



zander is also gaining attention..


----------



## pillow bunny

what is non binary


----------



## Mango

pillow bunny said:


> what is non binary



when someone doesnt feel like they identify as any gender, basically off of the gender binary


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

For anyone who may not have heard about them yet, here's Zander's and Damien's suicide notes.
(I'm not actually sure where Damien's original note is but that post quotes it)

It's awful that so many trans teens are made to feel so awful that they take their own life, no one should ever have to go through something like that.


----------



## Aradai

there's been some news that Damien is alive, hopefully he's alright.


----------



## Mango

Aradai said:


> there's been some news that Damien is alive, hopefully he's alright.



he is alive, on life support


----------



## Bowie

Aradai said:


> there's been some news that Damien is alive, hopefully he's alright.



Oh, that is a miracle. Do you have a source? I'd be interested in hearing more about his current condition.


----------



## Mango

Bowie said:


> Oh, that is a miracle. Do you have a source? I'd be interested in hearing more about his current condition.



his family  is keeping things private


----------



## pocky

Mango said:


> zander is also gaining attention..



What I mean is that there are probably a lot more out there that we haven't even heard about. People's whose stories have been silenced by their families and society. Or maybe trans people living in underdeveloped areas where no one really understood or cared about their struggles. I don't know, just the possibility of there being out there makes me incredibly sad.

I am glad that Zander and Damien's stories voices are being heard though. Maybe the world can learn something from this, though I wish it hadn't been at the cost of two young men. Really, really hoping Damien survives this one.


----------



## oath2order

I feel, given events in another thread this should be bumped up.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Or, better yet, sticky'd?


----------



## Cory

Oh god, Zanders story made me cry


----------



## Jarrad

see what confuses me when people talk about a specific trans person is that I never know which gender they're referring to. Do they call him a Boy because that's that he wishes to identify himself with, or do they call him a girl because that's his true genetic gender


----------



## Shimmer

Jarrad said:


> see what confuses me when people talk about a specific trans person is that I never know which gender they're referring to. Do they call him a Boy because that's that he wishes to identify himself with, or do they call him a girl because that's his true genetic gender



Usually it's the gender they wish to identify as.


----------



## zoetrope

Also note that sex is the word used for the biological component.  Gender is the idea or conceptual aspect.


----------



## Leela

Since this thread is back, I want to ask... any other asexuals out there on the forums? I know there are at least two of us on TBT, one being me.


----------



## Moddie

Leela said:


> Since this thread is back, I want to ask... any other asexuals out there on the forums? I know there are at least two of us on TBT, one being me.



I'd love to know how may aces are here. 
I'm guessing I'm the other asexual you know of. (Being we were talking about it earlier on the other tread and all, haha.)


----------



## Aradai

Leela said:


> Since this thread is back, I want to ask... any other asexuals out there on the forums? I know there are at least two of us on TBT, one being me.



hello! I'm pretty sure there's more lol


----------



## Leela

Moddie said:


> I'd love to know how may aces are here.
> I'm guessing I'm the other asexual you know of. (Being we were talking about it earlier on the other tread and all, haha.)



Yes, you were 



Aradai said:


> hello! I'm pretty sure there's more lol



There probably are, but I don't really ask people about it so I don't know where they are lol

Also, I read Zander's suicide note on Tumblr. It was heartbreaking, but I hope he's finally at rest in his death. Whatever comes after life, I hope he found peace.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I updated my user title with some purple spades, inspired by Aradai


----------



## Moddie

Leela said:


> I updated my user title with some purple spades, inspired by Aradai



Nice idea. I'm going to copy you both.


----------



## oath2order

what do purple spades mean


----------



## Leela

The asexual pride flag contains purple, hence the colour. The spade is because a nickname for asexuals is "aces", hence the spade (as in ace of spades, probably).

It will be pretty embarrassing if I turn out to be wrong now ?\_(ツ)_/?


----------



## Moddie

Leela said:


> The asexual pride flag contains purple, hence the colour. The spade is because a nickname for asexuals is "aces", hence the spade (as in ace of spades, probably).
> 
> It will be pretty embarrassing if I turn out to be wrong now ?\_(ツ)_/?



You're right as far as I know.

- - - Post Merge - - -

We have another symbol too. Some aces, including myself, wear ace rings. A simple black ring, which is normally worn on the middle finger of the right hand. I've not met another asexual in rl who does this though.


----------



## Leela

Moddie said:


> You're right as far as I know.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> We have another symbol too. A few aces, including myself wear ace rings. A simple black ring, which is normally worn on the middle finger of the right hand. I've not met another asexual in rl who does this though.



I've seen people wearing them but I don't have one myself. I'd quite like one.

This ring is apparently also an ace ring, which is interesting:







Another thing, a question for the other aces: are there any things people ask you or tell you that get annoying? I dislike the following:

*"Doesn't that mean you make offspring by splitting in two?"* That's asexual _reproduction._
*"You just haven't met the right person."*
*"Are you secretly self conscious about your body?"
"It's just a phase"* I'm sure people of most sexualities will hear this one at some point.
*"You're probably just a lesbian in the closet"* To which I say "No, I'm heteroromantic". And the reply is almost always...
*"How can you be attracted to a guy if you don't like sex?"*

I appreciate people wanting to learn more, I really do, but I can't help but get slightly annoyed at these questions. Not annoyed enough that I can't cover it up, though. I think people are less informed on asexuality because you hear about it a lot less than sexualities such as homosexuality, bisexuality etc.

I've said 'sexuality' too many times now. The word's gone weird.


----------



## Aradai

Leela said:


> I updated my user title with some purple spades, inspired by Aradai


nice! mine doesn't mean much lol, I didn't mean anything by it. it's just a reference to an anime, but that's cool


----------



## Leela

Aradai said:


> nice! mine doesn't mean much lol, I didn't mean anything by it. it's just a reference to an anime, but that's cool



Haha, well it was a happy coincidence ^^ looks like you're unintentionally starting a trend.


----------



## Zane

Aradai said:


> nice! mine doesn't mean much lol, I didn't mean anything by it. it's just a reference to an anime, but that's cool



LOL I love u weeb.


----------



## Aradai

Zane said:


> LOL I love u weeb.


>:)
==
so are you guys gray-aces, sex-neutral or sex-repulsed? I'm sex-neutral.


----------



## Moddie

(Too much too quote, this is in response to Leela.)
That ring looks like it could be loosely based off the Aven triangle. But I don't know. I've not seen an ace ring like that before. 

All of the questions you listed really get on my nerves. Particularly "you just haven't met the right person".
I don't get "you're probably just a lesbian in the closet" often though. I openly have a romantic preference for feminine people.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Aradai said:


> so are you guys gray-aces, sex-neutral or sex-repulsed? I'm sex-neutral.



I'm not sex-repulsed in that I can tolerate things to do with sex and such, and I don't mind talking about it. However the thought of personally engaging in the act is gross to me. If that makes sense?


----------



## Leela

Moddie said:


> I'm not sex-repulsed in that I can tolerate things to do with sex and such, and I don't mind talking about it. However the thought of personally engaging in the act is gross to me. If that makes sense?



It made sense to me. I was going to say the same about myself.

I forgot to mention something I've had said to me. *"You're asexual? I can change that" *creepy wink** Just, no. I know if you say this you're probably joking, but it makes me _very_ uncomfortable. Besides, I don't think I need 'changing'. I'm fine the way I am.


----------



## Moddie

Leela said:


> I forgot to mention something I've had said to me. *"You're asexual? I can change that" *creepy wink** Just, no. I know if you say this you're probably joking, but it makes me _very_ uncomfortable. Besides, I don't think I need 'changing'. I'm fine the way I am.



That's really gross. I'm sorry someone said that to you. :/
And yeah, you're right. No one can change who you are when it comes to sexuality. 

Also I hate how some people have the mindset that we're '_broken_' and need fixing. I mean some people aren't even joking when they say stuff about 'converting' aces.


----------



## lazuli

idk what i am
im not sex repulsed i just dont like the idea of me doing it
i dont want to date anybody at all
like ye friends/platonically sure but not romantic stuff
idk what to categorise as

- - - Post Merge - - -

idk what i am
im not sex repulsed i just dont like the idea of me doing it
i dont want to date anybody at all
like ye friends/platonically sure but not romantic stuff
idk what to categorise as


----------



## Aradai

computertrash said:


> idk what i am
> im not sex repulsed i just dont like the idea of me doing it
> i dont want to date anybody at all
> like ye friends/platonically sure but not romantic stuff
> idk what to categorise as
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> idk what i am
> im not sex repulsed i just dont like the idea of me doing it
> i dont want to date anybody at all
> like ye friends/platonically sure but not romantic stuff
> idk what to categorise as


if I'm correct im pretty sure that's [aromanticism], when you feel little to none romantic attraction.


----------



## Leela

computertrash said:


> idk what i am
> im not sex repulsed i just dont like the idea of me doing it
> i dont want to date anybody at all
> like ye friends/platonically sure but not romantic stuff
> idk what to categorise as
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> idk what i am
> im not sex repulsed i just dont like the idea of me doing it
> i dont want to date anybody at all
> like ye friends/platonically sure but not romantic stuff
> idk what to categorise as



I do know one person IRL who identifies as asexual and aromantic... they don't have any interest in sex or romance whatsoever. That sounds like a good category for you, maybe. Personally I don't try to fit myself in categories but it's still useful to have something to tell people (ie I'm a heteroromantic asexual) if they ask.


----------



## Moddie

computertrash said:


> idk what i am
> im not sex repulsed i just dont like the idea of me doing it
> i dont want to date anybody at all
> like ye friends/platonically sure but not romantic stuff
> idk what to categorise as



Well, only you'd be able to know for sure. But perhaps you're an aromantic asexual? (Meaning no sexual attraction and no romantic attraction.)

- - - Post Merge - - -

Just noticed others posted the same thing before me. I'm a slow typer. ^^;


----------



## lazuli

hueheuh
so
aro/ace agender kid
always thought of myself as aroace but i dont really feel like saying 'oh im aroace'
im just. nothing. lmao

off topic but does anyone hav fantasy life? is it worth getting/any fun? im thinking bout buying it but idk. if not, i may get aa trilogy/3rd acnl


----------



## f11

Is their an oreientation where you wouldn't do it like with a male, but like with other genders? Thanks in advance.


----------



## Naiad

Crys said:


> Is their an oreientation where you wouldn't do it like with a male, but like with other genders? Thanks in advance.



I believe that's Polysexual, although I might be wrong?


----------



## radical6

When does tumblr shut up about monosexual privilege

- - - Post Merge - - -

If u believe monosexual privilege is real then I will laugh at you forever ..and this is coming from a pan person lmaoo.

of course ive been called lesbian because im dating a girl atm but lmao wtf


----------



## infinikitten

Oh god let's please just never do the "monosexual privilege" thing, it's beyond ridiculous.


----------



## Aryxia

infinikitten said:


> Oh god let's please just never do the "monosexual privilege" thing, it's beyond ridiculous.



I'm guessing I should be glad I've never heard of it..?


----------



## Finnian

idk its hard being in utah and being hell i dont even know in a lesbian relationship??
bi?? I guess?
Man are nice, women are nice. But only to look at??
Romance is cool, but eh I'm not feeling the intimacy thing unless I want babies that day?
I know im not lesbian b/c men are tight but idk
genitals are so weird to me and i dont like them very much tbh.

im sorry im ranting so much tonight just feel weird and idk sad but like more empty than anything


----------



## lithiumlatte

Finnian said:


> idk its hard being in utah and being hell i dont even know in a lesbian relationship??
> bi?? I guess?
> Man are nice, women are nice. But only to look at??
> Romance is cool, but eh I'm not feeling the intimacy thing unless I want babies that day?
> I know im not lesbian b/c men are tight but idk
> genitals are so weird to me and i dont like them very much tbh.
> 
> im sorry im ranting so much tonight just feel weird and idk sad but like more empty than anything



Do you think you could be biromantic asexual ? 
I hope you feel better soon! ;_;  Have a hot drink and try to relax for a while


----------



## Jarrad

since when did everybody start assigning themselves titles in order to define their sexual orientation?

wouldnt the world be a better place if people were just left to love whomever
i mean it's not really anybody's business but your own


----------



## lithiumlatte

Jarrad said:


> since when did everybody start assigning themselves titles in order to define their sexual orientation?
> 
> wouldnt the world be a better place if people were just left to love whomever
> i mean it's not really anybody's business but your own



It would be, but unfortunately that's not the way things are. Titles provide an identity, it's comforting for someone to know 'oh this is an actual thing, and there are other people out there like me!' rather than feeling alone, and like you don't fit into anything.


----------



## Jarrad

lithiumlatte said:


> It would be, but unfortunately that's not the way things are. Titles provide an identity, it's comforting for someone to know 'oh this is an actual thing, and there are other people out there like me!' rather than feeling alone, and like you don't fit into anything.



but your sexual orientation shouldn't be part of your identity lol it's a preference, not part of your personality


----------



## Moddie

Jarrad said:


> since when did everybody start assigning themselves titles in order to define their sexual orientation?
> 
> wouldnt the world be a better place if people were just left to love whomever
> i mean it's not really anybody's business but your own



Labels help a lot of people. Before I knew about asexuality I thought I was broken. Being able to say that I'm asexual reminds me that I am not alone and that I am not broken. I no longer feel I need to 'fix' myself. It also helps being able to find others that are the same.


----------



## radical6

infinikitten said:


> Oh god let's please just never do the "monosexual privilege" thing, it's beyond ridiculous.



You see the lesbians and gays are privileged (I will group them with straight people that's totally okay!!) because they aren't Poly sexual like us...! 

It's just horizontal aggression and it's annoying as ****. People face homophobia in different ways, yes there is bipobia in lesbian and gay communities but there is lesbiphobia and whatever the gay guy one is called phobia in bi communities


----------



## fup10k

Moddie said:


> Labels help a lot of people. Before I knew about asexuality I thought I was broken. Being able to say that I'm asexual reminds me that I am not alone and that I am not broken. I no longer feel I need to 'fix' myself. It also helps being able to find others that are the same.



This 1000x. 
Be thankful that you have to question why people make labels, and not the one relying on them to feel like you matter.


----------



## Leela

This is kind of a weird question, but I was genuinely wondering something. Let's say there is a person who was born as a female, but is transgender and identifies as male. He is only attracted to females. Does that make him straight because he is attracted to females and identifies as male? Is he gay because he is attracted to the same gender he was born as? Or is it more complicated than these two options?


----------



## Zane

Leela said:


> This is kind of a weird question, but I was genuinely wondering something. Let's say there is a person who was born as a female, but is transgender and identifies as male. He is only attracted to females. Does that make him straight because he is attracted to females and identifies as male? Is he gay because he is attracted to the same gender he was born as? Or is it more complicated than these two options?



if you're a man that's only attracted to women you're straight..


----------



## Stalfos

Leela said:


> This is kind of a weird question, but I was genuinely wondering something. Let's say there is a person who was born as a female, but is transgender and identifies as male. He is only attracted to females. Does that make him straight because he is attracted to females and identifies as male? Is he gay because he is attracted to the same gender he was born as? Or is it more complicated than these two options?



It only gets complicated for the people who feel a need to label everything.


----------



## tae

Leela said:


> This is kind of a weird question, but I was genuinely wondering something. Let's say there is a person who was born as a female, but is transgender and identifies as male. He is only attracted to females. Does that make him straight because he is attracted to females and identifies as male? Is he gay because he is attracted to the same gender he was born as? Or is it more complicated than these two options?




as a trans man myself, i'd say he's straight because regardless of his genitals, he is a man. and he is interested in only women.


unlike me, who's pansexual and doesn't have any bias towards gender / identity what so ever.


----------



## unintentional

Okay, so I was born female.  I don't /feel/ like I have a gender????  Like, I wear dresses when my mom makes me, but I just feel empty.  My friends always talk about how amazing and girly they feel in them, but I feel empty.  I feel broken vnv


----------



## Moddie

Saint_Jimmy said:


> Okay, so I was born female.  I don't /feel/ like I have a gender????  Like, I wear dresses when my mom makes me, but I just feel empty.  My friends always talk about how amazing and girly they feel in them, but I feel empty.  I feel broken vnv



Aww, that's awful. I'm sorry your mum makes you do that, but don't worry you're not alone. And you're definitely not broken. I felt terribly awkward when my mum made me wear dresses and do 'girly' things. Does wearing male clothes make you feel more 'boyish'? If not perhaps you're agender (genderless)?


----------



## swimmergal98

I am the B but my parents think i am S. Not sure how i will come out to them


----------



## Fhyn_K

I am not throwing this in to anyone's conversation, but for me labels are something that you should really only give to yourself. While the general labels are great for guidelines, figuring out an individual's business and what defines them does not help. When you really break the labels down, most people fall into a grey area and when you try to find an "official" way to name yourself, you cannot without adding an exception. Just live your truth and owe no one any explanation.


----------



## Brackets

also, I don't want to sound mega patronising but a lot of the people on here and tumblr and places worrying about labels seem to be pretty young, like 14-15. I know it's perfectly normal to have sexual feelings at that age, but a lot of people also just don't what they want or like at that age. I hardly had any sexual feelings or cared about sex at all until I was about 17, and I wasn't stressing about trying to label myself as asexual or something. I think some people should stop worrying and just wait and see who they like and don't like


----------



## Bowie

Brackets said:


> also, I don't want to sound mega patronising but a lot of the people on here and tumblr and places worrying about labels seem to be pretty young, like 14-15. I know it's perfectly normal to have sexual feelings at that age, but a lot of people also just don't what they want or like at that age. I hardly had any sexual feelings or cared about sex at all until I was about 17, and I wasn't stressing about trying to label myself as asexual or something. I think some people should stop worrying and just wait and see who they like and don't like



I agree, kinda. You shouldn't worry about stuff like that, but that is around the time you start learning or accidentally discovering such subjects, and I think it's important young people are educated on it so you don't get into trouble with unsafe sex and stuff like that. In a perfect world, you don't have to get so worked up over silly things like that, but I think that if you're gonna do it, you should be taught how to in the right way, and in the process, learn about your own sexuality.


----------



## Leela

Brackets said:


> also, I don't want to sound mega patronising but a lot of the people on here and tumblr and places worrying about labels seem to be pretty young, like 14-15. I know it's perfectly normal to have sexual feelings at that age, but a lot of people also just don't what they want or like at that age. I hardly had any sexual feelings or cared about sex at all until I was about 17, and I wasn't stressing about trying to label myself as asexual or something. I think some people should stop worrying and just wait and see who they like and don't like



I agree that people are still figuring out who/what they like at this age, but I still feed the need to label myself as asexual. I don't like how there are so many labels, but when virtually everyone around me (at school) seems to have done something sexual or at least wants to, and always make fun of me for not being interested in that kind of thing, labelling myself as asexual reminds me that not everyone has sexual feelings. I remember that I'm not 'broken' by not being interested in sex. I know things might change as I get older, but for now I label myself as asexual because otherwise people seem to just think it's funny and tease me about it. 

I know I shouldn't feel under that much pressure to label myself, but I'm insecure about it due to a lack of understanding or acceptance from peers. It just makes me feel like I 'belong' somewhere and there are other people like me.


----------



## Finnian

I really hate it when my extended family posts anti-gay bullcrap on facebook just to spite me.
Then turn around with crap like this:
"We understand your point of view, but for me and my brother / family, we don't support gay marriage. Yes we love you and we love people as they are, but we also believe that even if the world's standards change, God's standards won't. We choose to have faith that God knows what he's doing and if he says gay marriage does not follow his plan, then we choose to follow it. Sorry if that offends you."
 Then proceed to quote scripture.
I really, really cannot stand the LDS church. Utah is probably the worst place for me to live.


----------



## Bowie

Finnian said:


> I really hate it when my extended family posts anti-gay bullcrap on facebook just to spite me.
> Then turn around with crap like this:
> "We understand your point of view, but for me and my brother / family, we don't support gay marriage. Yes we love you and we love people as they are, but we also believe that even if the world's standards change, God's standards won't. We choose to have faith that God knows what he's doing and if he says gay marriage does not follow his plan, then we choose to follow it. Sorry if that offends you."
> Then proceed to quote scripture.
> I really, really cannot stand the LDS church. Utah is probably the worst place for me to live.



In your position, I would legitimately start trying to offend them by posting atheism things. Even if I wasn't an atheist (I don't like being called one, but I technically am one) I'd do it just for revenge. I know it's wrong, but it would be hard to keep myself from it.


----------



## boujee

Finnian said:


> I really hate it when my extended family posts anti-gay bullcrap on facebook just to spite me.
> Then turn around with crap like this:
> "We understand your point of view, but for me and my brother / family, we don't support gay marriage. Yes we love you and we love people as they are, but we also believe that even if the world's standards change, God's standards won't. We choose to have faith that God knows what he's doing and if he says gay marriage does not follow his plan, then we choose to follow it. Sorry if that offends you."
> Then proceed to quote scripture.
> I really, really cannot stand the LDS church. Utah is probably the worst place for me to live.



Just shrug it off. The bible is rewritten numerous times, over and over and over again. One scripture could be totally different than another. If they were actual true to what God says, they should also pay attention to the little things he says. Such as to not judge, if you want to get married to a person of the same gender then they have no right to speak of it cause they have no place to do so. They have to love you no matter what, you loving the same gender shouldn't even be a excuse. "I still love you but I don't approve of it", nada. You get the full package or GTFO. It is what it is.


----------



## Finnian

And god's law doesn't change??
How about ALL the doctrine that has changed. Just because your cult leader says it doesn't change, doesn't mean it doesn't change.
How about all of this?
Or i don't know, calling for the death of gay people, but now you can just hate gay people, as long as you say you don't.
Or you know, up until the 1970's, black people were cursed and evil, but can now go through your crazy temples?

Why did I baptize myself into this hate cult?

- - - Post Merge - - -

You know, i'm not going around posting anti-mormon things.
It just really hurts, you know?

When i was active in your church, I tried killing myself 3 times, I burnt the crap out of my leg, i couldn't eat, i couldn't sleep.
God never brought me happiness.
You know hat did? What FINALLY straightened me out, made me feel like I was actually worth something, and got me off of pain killers?
My fiance. My SAME-SEX fiance.
Something the LDS church could never do.

Let's not get started on gay teen suicide rates in utah.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gamzee said:


> Just shrug it off. The bible is rewritten numerous times, over and over and over again. One scripture could be totally different than another. If they were actual true to what God says, they should also pay attention to the little things he says. Such as to not judge, if you want to get married to a person of the same gender then they have no right to speak of it cause they have no place to do so. They have to love you no matter what, you loving the same gender shouldn't even be a excuse. "I still love you but I don't approve of it", nada. You get the full package or GTFO. It is what it is.



it's really hard too when this is my family.
Mormons are mean as sin.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Bowie said:


> In your position, I would legitimately start trying to offend them by posting atheism things. Even if I wasn't an atheist (I don't like being called one, but I technically am one) I'd do it just for revenge. I know it's wrong, but it would be hard to keep myself from it.



I'm not atheist though lmao.
I believe in god and jesus, just not the mormon god and jesus.
I want to, but I also don't want to create a divide in my family.
My mom's already disowned my cousin for spewing antig-gay things and I don't wanna make it worse.


----------



## boujee

But your happiness depends on you.
You can choose to listen to what they say to build up this mood that you hate or you can do what you believe is comfortable for you.
If you're happy with the person you're with then put your main focus on that, forget everything else.
Don't hurt yourself over the hypocrite attuides of other.

Haha, Maybe read this:
http://calico-kat.tumblr.com/post/31351611277/that-awkward-moment-when-theres-a-gay-couple-in


----------



## Finnian

Gamzee said:


> But your happiness depends on you.
> You can choose to listen to what they say to build up this mood that you hate or you can do what you believe is comfortable for you.
> If you're happy with the person you're with then put your main focus on that, forget everything else.
> Don't hurt yourself over the hypocrite attuides of other.
> 
> Haha, Maybe read this:
> http://calico-kat.tumblr.com/post/31351611277/that-awkward-moment-when-theres-a-gay-couple-in



This is the best. 
I'm gonna post it to facebook to piss of my cousins

Thank you bb.
;v;


----------



## Fhyn_K

No offense to you Bowie but that advise is absolutely terrible.

As for you Finnian, you are here and you are alive. That is the testament of your own strength and the strong bong with you and your fianc?. I cannot break down the situation that goes on with your family but at a certain point you have to make the best decisions for your own sanity. Being happy and doing what you have to to maintain it is not selfishness on your part. "Family" is not blood-ties and sharing a name but personal bonds with people you trust your life with. So when those people that bring you down under the guise of "love" and "support", they are not your family so cut them off. You owe nothing to them. If, for whatever reason, you cannot or don't want to then I wish you strength and solidarity. Let no one ruin or criticize your relationship with god.

You're in my thoughts dear much love to you!


----------



## Moddie

Finnian said:


> I really hate it when my extended family posts anti-gay bullcrap on facebook just to spite me.
> Then turn around with crap like this:
> "We understand your point of view, but for me and my brother / family, we don't support gay marriage. Yes we love you and we love people as they are, but we also believe that even if the world's standards change, God's standards won't. We choose to have faith that God knows what he's doing and if he says gay marriage does not follow his plan, then we choose to follow it. Sorry if that offends you."
> Then proceed to quote scripture.
> I really, really cannot stand the LDS church. Utah is probably the worst place for me to live.



That's the most un-Mormon thing your family could do to be honest. Mormonism is all about loving everyone even when you don't 'agree with their life choices' not that being gay is a life choice but that seems to be how the church sees it at times. Your family posting  anti-gay stuff is just cruel and shows their ignorance. Sadly the church's view on gay marriage is clear and really dumb to be honest. It's okay to be gay but you must marry someone of the opposite sex? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Also God's standards have changed. Like you said in another post the church now excepts black people, something it wouldn't do in the past. 

Anyway, I'm sorry your family is so blinded by their religion. Have you considered leaving the church? I know that'd be difficult where you are. Anyway, I wish you and your partner all the happiness this world can bring. Don't let your family get to you. You don't owe them anything. By the sounds of it they're not even worth your time. If I were you, I'd cut my ties with them. I hope your closer family is more supportive.


----------



## 00ToxicLove00

I'm glad to see this up! It's amazing to have support.


----------



## radical6

rest in peace blake brockington


----------



## Jake

Fhyn_K said:


> No offense to you Bowie but that advise is absolutely terrible.



What are you talking about, bowies advice was almost as good as anything that comes outta my mouth


----------



## Finnian

Thank all you guys for your support.
;v;
I'm kinda done with those cousins anyway. They've always been holier than thou and thought they were better than everyone, so.
I'm done.


----------



## Bowie

I want to marry, live in New York or on an Icelandic mountain with great Internet connection, have a garden, my own vegetable patch, flowers everywhere, possibly solar panels so the money isn't too tight, at least one sheep to keep as a pet and travel to new and exciting places and have lots and lots of fun memories. I want to spend my time writing music, going to my neighbours and handing out fruit baskets and living like that with everyone I love forever.

That is my dream. It's very gay.


----------



## oswaldies

Bowie said:


> I want to marry, live in New York or on an Icelandic mountain with great Internet connection, have a garden, my own vegetable patch, flowers everywhere, possibly solar panels so the money isn't too tight, at least one sheep to keep as a pet and travel to new and exciting places and have lots and lots of fun memories. I want to spend my time writing music, going to my neighbours and handing out fruit baskets and living like that with everyone I love forever.
> 
> That is my dream. It's very gay.



You just stole my dream ;w;


----------



## oath2order

Bowie said:


> Icelandic mountain with great Internet connection



Normally I'd be like "yeah but it's a mountain good luck with that."

But Iceland seems to be a very forward-thinking company so this might be acheiveable.


----------



## Bowie

oath2order said:


> Normally I'd be like "yeah but it's a mountain good luck with that."
> 
> But Iceland seems to be a very forward-thinking company so this might be acheiveable.



They have Bj?rk. Trust me, it's achievable.


----------



## Fhyn_K

Light hearted topic.

So my roommate and I are laying down in bed together, then out of nowhere he brings up how come he and I never had been intimate. We don't want a relationship and it never crossed our minds to sleep with each other. So now we're cooking dinner and there's this charged sexual tension that I'm thoroughly enjoying.


----------



## Beardo

I just want to be able to wear an LGBTQA+ shirt anywhere, including school, without any judgement or comments. Ugh


----------



## Ghost Soda

Beardo said:


> I just want to be able to wear an LGBTQA+ shirt anywhere, including school, without any judgement or comments. Ugh



But what if it's a good comment, like "you're rockin that pride tee, girlfriend"?


----------



## Heartcore

Fhyn_K said:


> Light hearted topic.
> 
> So my roommate and I are laying down in bed together, then out of nowhere he brings up how come he and I never had been intimate. We don't want a relationship and it never crossed our minds to sleep with each other. So now we're cooking dinner and there's this charged sexual tension that I'm thoroughly enjoying.



"That you're thoroughly enjoying" Lmao. 

That's always the weird thing about any type of intimate relationship-it's never weird until it crosses one person's mind and they say it aloud. 

I say dont do it, the tension will only be worse once you go through with it--or if the relations are bad, it could be even worse lol


----------



## Beardo

Ghost Soda said:


> But what if it's a good comment, like "you're rockin that pride tee, girlfriend"?



I'd love that!


----------



## Fhyn_K

Heartcore said:


> "That you're thoroughly enjoying" Lmao.
> 
> That's always the weird thing about any type of intimate relationship-it's never weird until it crosses one person's mind and they say it aloud.
> 
> I say dont do it, the tension will only be worse once you go through with it--or if the relations are bad, it could be even worse lol



Haha I know my brain is telling me the same thing but ugh you're right! I'll let this feeling sizzle until the dryness of the desert comes back into my life.


----------



## radical6

how r..heteromantic asexual/heterosexual aromantic ppl calling themselves queer 
??????


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> how r..heteromantic asexual/heterosexual aromantic ppl calling themselves queer
> ??????



I thought queer was a catch-all phrase?


----------



## Fhyn_K

I've had one too many cocktails and I don't want to make a thread so myeh.

There are times that I miss having a family. I've parted ways with my blood relatives many years ago because of differences in lifestyles and to clarify I don't miss them, I miss the concept of having people there when you need them. At times when I'm feeling extra emotional, I would walk around family-centric areas and watch the parents with their kids. Seeing them happy makes me happy and admittedly a little lonely. I've no idea if that has warped my personality, it probably has, but it makes certain achievements feel unimportant. I'm putting myself through college, I've been handling bills and rent, I've steered clear from drugs, I value no sex until there is commitment and history, etc. I'm proud of myself but next day it's just business as usual. I know this sounds sad but I'm really not lol. It's just what it is haha. 

To add, I do have one person and that is my roomie, he is my person, my other half, all the great things in the world. We've recently dealt with the possibility of a relationship but I don't want my person to be my boyfriend or husband, though that is another topic for another day lol.

Word vomit.


----------



## Moddie

justice said:


> how r..heteromantic asexual/heterosexual aromantic ppl calling themselves queer
> ??????




This is the dumbest thing I've read in a while. Are you the sorta person who also thinks that bisexuals/pansexuals who are in opposite sex relationships shouldn't be allowed in queer spaces? Just like any other sexuality the gender of the person asexuals fall in love with doesn't change their sexuality. Heteromantic asexuals are just as important as other asexuals and still experience many things that they need support with. Asexuals even those who are heteromantic experience discrimination and most of them will have felt broken at some point in their life. There is no sexuality that is more queer than any other. To be queer simply means you are not both cisgender and hetrosexual. Heteromantic ≠ hetrosexual. 

No matter how you look at it asexuals are queer, and the queer community should be welcoming to all queers. Asexuals often don't know where to turn and very rarely do they have local spaces dedicated to them. To refuse to acknowledge them as queer is to refuse them help and support. I am not a heteromantic asexual so I don't feel very comfortable talking for them, so here is a good article written by one: link.

Personally, I didn't know romantic attraction came under the queer umbrella. I've met plenty of aromantic people and none of them have ever considered themselves queer. And I've not heard of anyone who is openly aromantic within any queer spaces that wasn't also something else that could be called queer. I'm going to have to look further into it as I am not aromantic but if they want to call themselves queer they're not hurting anyone by doing so, so I don't see the problem.


----------



## Allycat

Fhyn_K said:


> Light hearted topic.
> 
> So my roommate and I are laying down in bed together, then out of nowhere he brings up how come he and I never had been intimate. We don't want a relationship and it never crossed our minds to sleep with each other. So now we're cooking dinner and there's this charged sexual tension that I'm thoroughly enjoying.



Woo! go you!


----------



## oath2order

oath2order said:


> I thought queer was a catch-all phrase?



can someone answer this

what exactly is the definition of queer


----------



## Moddie

oath2order said:


> can someone answer this
> 
> what exactly is the definition of queer



Queer is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities. If you're not a heterosexual cisgender person you're queer. 

It's worth noting a few people still dislike the term as it was originally used as a slur. However the community have been trying to reclaim it since the late 80's. Mainly because it's a more inclusive term than the acronym LGBTA, and variations of, which is normally either too short so that it leaves people out, or too long that it becomes confusing and hard to remember.


----------



## Mayorofarcadia

@ moddie What if you are cis but you're not heterosexual? Is it the same?


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## oath2order

Moddie said:


> Queer is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities. If you're not a heterosexual cisgender person you're queer.
> 
> It's worth noting a few people still dislike the term as it was originally used as a slur. However the community have been trying to reclaim it since the late 80's. Mainly because it's a more inclusive term than the acronym LGBTA, and variations of, which is normally either too short so that it leaves people out, or too long that it becomes confusing and hard to remember.



that's what I figured but thought it'd be best to ask since


----------



## Mayorofarcadia

Thank you for clearing it up ~ 
It is hard because some people could take offence to queer, as being do use it as a describing word, like as in odd, weird, etc. Which shouldnt affect the use of it as LGBTQA term but sometimes wires are crossed and its associated :/ but my boyfriend uses it as an adjective while not meaning for it to be a term. (Google says the homosexual definition actually is informal and offensive) >.> 

But that being said, people say "how queer" as in "how gay (lame etc) when it should be "how queer" as in how odd, strange etc. 

I'm overthinking because I'm sleepy <.<


----------



## Lady Timpani

Moddie said:


> Note: Some people still don't like the term. If an individual doesn't want to be called queer please respected that. (Not aimed at anyone I just realised I left this out of my last post.)



Thanks for adding that part in. I'm one of those people since, where I live, nine times out of ten I hear it used as a slur. I'm fine with people who prefer to describe themselves as queer, but I don't like it being used for myself.


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## m12

Lady Timpani said:


> Thanks for adding that part in. I'm one of those people since, where I live, nine times out of ten I hear it used as a slur. I'm fine with people who prefer to describe themselves as queer, but I don't like it being used for myself.



   It's a daily occurence to hear that as 100% a slur in the military along with every word in the book (fairy, fa**ot, f*g, etc). It sucks, and there are rules in place to keep workplace discrimination from going unheard, yet this is a "different and isolated case", according to many legal offices here. Hmm... does anybody think it's weird for any other form of discrimination (Racism, Sexism, etc) be taken care of by a specifically made Command Equal Opportunity office, yet they're not able to handle Orientation-based hate/discrimination?

 I had to open a legal case through my base's legal office and *prove* that this happened to me before they even began to question the individual who was accused, contrary to the other office, where the cases are opened instantaneously and no proof of discrimination is required prior to opening an investigation on the matter, because it is a serious matter (but homophobia is not?)


See the issue?


----------



## deerui

errrr...


----------



## tamagotchi

Have you guys seen this yet?

(Yes I know I posted this on another thread, but I feel like this should go here, too.)


----------



## Lady Timpani

flower child said:


> Have you guys seen this yet?
> 
> (Yes I know I posted this on another thread, but I feel like this should go here, too.)



WHAT

"The Sodomite Suppression Act" 

The name alone makes me feel like this is a joke, but it's probably not.


----------



## tamagotchi

Lady Timpani said:


> WHAT
> 
> "The Sodomite Suppression Act"
> 
> The name alone makes me feel like this is a joke, but it's probably not.



Yeah. I'm not sure if It's a joke or not, though. I think I heard someone say that it was on the news, but I have no idea. If anyone can confirm if It's real or not, that would be great. Don't wanna' be spreading around something fake, lol.


----------



## Saylor

flower child said:


> Have you guys seen this yet?
> 
> (Yes I know I posted this on another thread, but I feel like this should go here, too.)


I feel sick to my stomach.

I googled it a bit and I'm not completely sure, but it doesn't seem to me like it's fake.


----------



## Bowie

flower child said:


> Yeah. I'm not sure if It's a joke or not, though. I think I heard someone say that it was on the news, but I have no idea. If anyone can confirm if It's real or not, that would be great. Don't wanna' be spreading around something fake, lol.



I believe it is legitimate. I wish I could say it wasn't, however.


----------



## Moddie

About the above. I couldn't follow the link for some reason but I googled "The Sodomite Suppression Act" and it doesn't seem fake at all. (Though I wish it was.) The Huffington Post is pretty reliable so I've read their article on the matter.


----------



## Fhyn_K

I heard about this recently. I'm appalled by it, don't misunderstand, but I'm not entirely bothered by it. While he will get signatures and support but he will not be able to pass this.


----------



## boujee

Any whoo
Happy trans visibility day


----------



## tamagotchi

Fhyn_K said:


> I heard about this recently. I'm appalled by it, don't misunderstand, but I'm not entirely bothered by it. While he will get signatures and support but he will not be able to pass this.



Mmhm. While I don't think it will pass, It's still a very disgusting act. This line, "He also wants the act to be "prominently" displayed in public school classrooms.", really made me sick to my stomach.



Gamzee said:


> Any whoo
> Happy trans visibility day



Oh, how could I forget?

Happy Trans Visibility Day.


----------



## Moddie

Gamzee said:


> Any whoo
> Happy trans visibility day



Surprised it's taken this long for someone to bring this up. It's not even that day anymore where I am. Anyway, yes. Happy trans visibility day.


----------



## tae

i've wanted to bring this up since this morning- but i was at work most of today and it's been hard getting online for it but-

happy transgender day of visibility!!


----------



## Jake

its april fools day tho??


----------



## Gusmanak

Gah, that act seems legit, this killed my night, I know it wont ever get passed but its sickening that the LGBTQA community have been legal for years and people are trying to flat-out kill us off


----------



## oath2order

http://www.theguardian.com/society/...rs-become-first-gay-couple-to-marry-in-prison

oh.

ok.


----------



## EmmaFrost

oath2order said:


> http://www.theguardian.com/society/...rs-become-first-gay-couple-to-marry-in-prison
> 
> oh.
> 
> ok.



What the hell. Ew.


----------



## oath2order

Illyana said:


> What the hell. Ew.



It's a love story for the ages LOL

on a side note true equality for everyone


----------



## DarkOnyx

flower child said:


> Have you guys seen this yet?
> 
> (Yes I know I posted this on another thread, but I feel like this should go here, too.)



This makes me sick. I'm pissed at whoever made this law. I'm also a bit frightened that I live in California...


----------



## oath2order

DarkOnyx said:


> This makes me sick. I'm pissed at whoever made this law. I'm also a bit frightened that I live in California...



am i the only one who can't load flower child's link


----------



## DarkOnyx

oath2order said:


> am i the only one who can't load flower child's link



It's broken. Instead, search The Sodomite Suppression Act.


----------



## OreoTerror

Hii! L here, glad that there's so much support. c:


----------



## tamagotchi

Oh, sorry, guys. Here's a different link, hopefully it works.

Link.


----------



## Gusmanak

flower child said:


> Oh, sorry, guys. Here's a different link, hopefully it works.
> 
> Link.



Ugh, some ass using political power to spread his anti-lgbtqa crap.


----------



## Finnian

apparently even walmart thinks its stupid


----------



## oath2order

you guys do realize this has no chance of passing anywhere in the country right


----------



## Fhyn_K

oath2order said:


> you guys do realize this has no chance of passing anywhere in the country right



I agree; it's pretty much wasted energy.


----------



## biibii

I AM A LESBIAN TO THE MAXXXX YOOOO


----------



## boujee

So I've been recently talking to this QT


----------



## Stevey Queen

flower child said:


> Oh, sorry, guys. Here's a different link, hopefully it works.
> 
> Link.



Oh I read something like that a couple weeks ago. Idk if it's the same thing or a new one. Regardless, I was offended. Not so much that it threatens the lives of homosexuals but more so that it wasn't immediately dismissed and disregarded as complete and utter nonsense.



oath2order said:


> you guys do realize this has no chance of passing anywhere in the country right



I mean, Indiana might be interested...


----------



## f11

Gamzee said:


> So I've been recently talking to this QT


whats a qt?


----------



## remiaphasia

That's the same thing people were saying about the SB101 in Indiana >.>

- - - Post Merge - - -



Crys said:


> whats a qt?



qt=cutie


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> http://www.theguardian.com/society/...rs-become-first-gay-couple-to-marry-in-prison
> 
> oh.
> 
> ok.


i didnt know u can get married in jail..unless theyre in there forever (skimmed article). i would hate to have a wedding in jail though gross

also im too lazy to reply to that person but like.. i can understand how straight trans ppl id as queer because they will (most of the time) never be seen as straight. i understand asexuals/aromantics face stigma too but i wouldnt say theyre queer if theyre cis and het. 

also on a side note can someone explain to me what a QP is... im getting the idea it's platonic love but i dont exactly understand because ppl r coming up with terms that are basically saying theyre oppressed for wanting friends on those MOGAI archive blogs. like maybe if theres a deep platonic bond i can see why they call each other qps but ive always viewed it the same as like,calling someone your bff


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> i didnt know u can get married in jail..unless theyre in there forever (skimmed article). i would hate to have a wedding in jail though gross
> 
> also im too lazy to reply to that person but like.. i can understand how straight trans ppl id as queer because they will (most of the time) never be seen as straight. i understand asexuals/aromantics face stigma too but i wouldnt say theyre queer if theyre cis and het.
> 
> also on a side note can someone explain to me what a QP is... im getting the idea it's platonic love but i dont exactly understand because ppl r coming up with terms that are basically saying theyre oppressed for wanting friends on those MOGAI archive blogs. like maybe if theres a deep platonic bond i can see why they call each other qps but ive always viewed it the same as like,calling someone your bff



Yeah, they're in life sentences.

I have no idea what the **** QP is. Never heard of it, not even when I go play my "social justice drinking game" on Tumblr



Capn Sugarplum McQueen said:


> Oh I read something like that a couple weeks ago. Idk if it's the same thing or a new one. Regardless, I was offended. Not so much that it threatens the lives of homosexuals but more so that it wasn't immediately dismissed and disregarded as complete and utter nonsense.
> 
> 
> 
> I mean, Indiana might be interested...



yeah no they won't legalize murder


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Ghost Soda

I'm starting to think that I might be genderqueer... 



Cocovampire said:


> I AM A LESBIAN TO THE MAXXXX YOOOO



Woop woop!


----------



## Jake

Gamzee said:


> So I've been recently talking to this QT



O I didn't know we had been talking??


----------



## boujee

Jake. said:


> O I didn't know we had been talking??



I said a QT


----------



## toricrossing

I'm bisexual


----------



## oath2order

Gamzee said:


> I said a QT



We're not talking either


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

I started very young as a pan, did not know for the longest time because nobody talks about that stuff when you're younger. In middle school I called myself Bi because I didn't know the difference, figured that covered the spectrum but then in high school I realized I was pan, and now I am happily pan. I am in a long term committed relationship with a cis man, whom I plan to marry. I am a cis woman, in middle and high school I had bouts of wanting to be a boy and pretending to be one online because I was unhappy with my gender, so I guess a short period of gender-queer, but now cis-pan and happy with who I am!


----------



## Hai

I'm bisexual and genderqueer 
Does this include fetish people too?


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Hai said:


> I'm bisexual and genderqueer
> Does this include fetish people too?



I don't think we're doing fetish stuff, it's not very PG for the forum. Haha.


----------



## boujee

oath2order said:


> We're not talking either




Exes are off limits
you need to move on


----------



## oath2order

Gamzee said:


> Exes are off limits
> you need to move on



:{



Hai said:


> I'm bisexual and genderqueer
> Does this include fetish people too?



Sure why not



KaydeeKrunk said:


> I don't think we're doing fetish stuff, it's not very PG for the forum. Haha.



We had a sex thread here before


----------



## gloomyfox

i support this page 100%


----------



## infinikitten

Fetish people don't fall under the queer umbrella by virtue of having fetishes...? This is a huge pet peeve of mine since seeing it everywhere on Tumblr. Kinksters aren't automatically welcome in queer spaces if they're straight. What even.

But yeah, I don't really think this forum in general is the best place to be discussing things like that either, so.


----------



## Heartcore

infinikitten said:


> Fetish people don't fall under the queer umbrella by virtue of having fetishes...? This is a huge pet peeve of mine since seeing it everywhere on Tumblr. Kinksters aren't automatically welcome in queer spaces if they're straight. What even.
> 
> But yeah, I don't really think this forum in general is the best place to be discussing things like that either, so.



Agreed. Lol. I think it kind of equates homosexual relationships/lgbtq sexualities/trans identities/w/e to a kink.


----------



## Bowie

As somebody with several fetishes, I would agree that this isn't the right place to discuss them. Not mine, at least.


----------



## Saaaakisuchan

What is this thread about?


----------



## Naiad

CuteLuka<3 said:


> What is this thread about?



"Thread: LGBTQA - Discussion and support."

Reading thread titles is a very helpful skill to have in life.


----------



## sheepie

I dislike how my family and friends, after telling them I'm pan, assume I'm 'straight and confused.' Ugh.

And I have a question (that hopefully someone knows the answer to) ;
I don't like to use labels strictly, however this has been bothering me. I've identified as pansexual for quite a while now and I'm noticing that I do have certain preferences, although I am open to 'anything.' Does that make me poly rather than pan? My friend thinks yes. I'm just curious to know.


----------



## Naiad

sheepie said:


> I dislike how my family and friends, after telling them I'm pan, assume I'm 'straight and confused.' Ugh.
> 
> And I have a question (that hopefully someone knows the answer to) ;
> I don't like to use labels strictly, however this has been bothering me. I've identified as pansexual for quite a while now and I'm noticing that I do have certain preferences, although I am open to 'anything.' Does that make me poly rather than pan? My friend thinks yes. I'm just curious to know.



Polysexual means you only like certain genders.
For example, someone who will engage in relationships with anyone but ____

Pansexual means you're open to engaging in relationships with anyone.

Preferences are preferences. Everyone has them. For example, I prefer females over males. I still like/will engage in relationships with males, I just like females more.


----------



## sheepie

N i c o said:


> Polysexual means you only like certain genders.
> For example, someone who will engage in relationships with anyone but ____
> 
> Pansexual means you're open to engaging in relationships with anyone.
> 
> Preferences are preferences. Everyone has them. For example, I prefer females over males. I still like/will engage in relationships with males, I just like females more.



Ahh, I understand now!
I suppose my friend was wrong. Thank you for helping ^ ^


----------



## Fhyn_K

sheepie said:


> I dislike how my family and friends, after telling them I'm pan, assume I'm 'straight and confused.' Ugh.
> 
> And I have a question (that hopefully someone knows the answer to) ;
> I don't like to use labels strictly, however this has been bothering me. I've identified as pansexual for quite a while now and I'm noticing that I do have certain preferences, although I am open to 'anything.' Does that make me poly rather than pan? My friend thinks yes. I'm just curious to know.



I don't necessarily have an answer that will satisfy your question but I do share your sentiment that labels, while great for guidelines, are not the best towards truly identifying yourself. Really though, it's non of their damn business what you are haha.


----------



## tsantsa

seriously im to young to decide what i am, but i would like to say that i have no problem with people being lgbtqa,its your life, and if you love someone the same gender as you, where is the problem?. i kinda feel like when people say you cant be gay because its against my religon, is like saying to someone, sorry you cant eat that pizza because im on a diet. if you get what i mean


----------



## MrFrond

I'm pleasantly surprised there's a thread like this on a forum about a cute, little animal game. It makes me so happy to find a forum where people maturely discuss this type of thing. Discovering your identity and preferences is confusing, so it's nice there's a little thread dedicated to the subject.
I, myself, have identified as pansexual for a good portion of my life...Ever since I discovered the term, really. Somewhere around fourteen or fifteen, I believe? Earlier this year, I came out as a trans man. It just feels right to me. There was a time from 16-17 where I identified as a guy named Austin online, and I felt the most comfortable with myself during those years. Sadly, I hooked up with a guy that manipulated me into thinking I was just deceiving people by "pretending to be a boy" so I dropped it. I also grew up in a hostile, homophobic environment living under the roof of my legal guardians. Whenever any subject regarding LGBTQA+ was brought up, there was no doubt I'd hear some bigoted remark. It was safer just to stay closeted until I was out on my own. My legal guardians still have no idea, and I don't intend to ever tell them.
Anyways, despite dysphoria popping up here and there, I can safely say that I feel tons more comfortable with myself now that my identity feels a little bit clearer to me. I know labels don't make you, but finding some that I think fit me has helped a lot to know myself. I'm pretty lucky, all things considered. My appearance has never been all that feminine, so the transition is going along pretty well aside from me voice and...OBVIOUS things!
Anyways, I'm sorry to blabber on so much. I've never really touched on the topic.
I hope everyone here has an okay time with discovering themselves. There's nothing wrong with jumping between labels and identities. It takes a while to discover your identity.


----------



## Heartcore

"maturely discuss"

*Looks at camera like I'm in the Office*


----------



## MrFrond

Well, judging from the most recent page it seemed pretty tame. Way too many posts to sift through and gain a proper opinion. Sorry for being wrong. It's a touchy subject with many differing opinions, so it's likely it won't always be peaceful in the thread oooor whatever happened here.


----------



## radical6

theres this hot girl at my school and my friend is bffs with her, so i asked if the hot girl was gay and my friend replied "i know her sexuality, but im not telling" so im like     she gay


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

I've often considered a poly-amorous relationship but I love my boyfriend far too much to engage in one. I do however miss girls a lot. Sadly I have never been able to really have a "relationship" with a girl. Technically I had one girlfriend but she was more so my best friend with benefits. We did go out and stuff but it wasn't a real relationship? It's hard to explain. But I kind of wish I had more opportunities to date other people besides just men. I am in no way saying I am unhappy with my boyfriend, because he is undoubtedly my soul mate and I intend to marry him and spend my life with him.


----------



## Mercedes

Is it ok sometimes I feel like I was susposed to be a boy?


----------



## oath2order

Luckypinch said:


> Is it ok sometimes I feel like I was susposed to be a boy?



yes yes it is ok


----------



## Yeosin

Luckypinch said:


> Is it ok sometimes I feel like I was susposed to be a boy?



That's 100% okay. For a while I was confused, thought maybe I was genderqueer, so I sat down and researched. And as of now, I am fairly certain I'm just a guy who likes guys. 

Maybe you should look into what other genders besides 'boy/girl' there are, and maybe one fits you better than girl. =)


----------



## lalapyu

Oh, this exists ? Nice !
I'm genderfluid and bi <:
Are genderfluids welcome here and does everyone know what it is ?
It makes me slightly anxious to post here .-.


----------



## oath2order

lalapyu said:


> Oh, this exists ? Nice !
> I'm genderfluid and bi <:
> Are genderfluids welcome here and does everyone know what it is ?
> It makes me slightly anxious to post here .-.



No. We accept everybody BUT genderfluids.

I'm being sarcastic. This thread accepts literally everybody


----------



## Yeosin

lalapyu said:


> Oh, this exists ? Nice !
> I'm genderfluid and bi <:
> Are genderfluids welcome here and does everyone know what it is ?
> It makes me slightly anxious to post here .-.



I'm not as educated as I'd like to be, so correct me if I'm wrong, but is Genderfluid where you just feel more feminine one day, but more masculine another day and maybe in between occasionally? =)


----------



## lalapyu

@oath yeh ok I ask dumb questions lmao

@ThatOneCcj that is exactly it yes. Took me a long time and some therapists to find it out, but now I feel semi comfortable with it. It's just not something I mention a lot cause it involves a lot of back and forth I just can't care anymore about haha


----------



## Beardo

Could someone explain otherkin to me? I'm so confused...


----------



## Finnian

Beardo said:


> Could someone explain otherkin to me? I'm so confused...



it's basically when someone feels that they are not them. like, not human or otherwise.
so, someone who feels like they have the soul of a wolf would be otherkin.

or I guess sometime someones will feel like they have the soul of a certain character (i.e. frodo baggins??). Though that's usually referred to as fictionkin. 
some people have more than 1 kintype.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Luckypinch said:


> Is it ok sometimes I feel like I was susposed to be a boy?



That's perfectly normal. ;v;


----------



## Stevey Queen

Finnian said:


> it's basically when someone feels that they are not them. like, not human or otherwise.
> so, someone who feels like they have the soul of a wolf would be otherkin.
> 
> or I guess sometime someones will feel like they have the soul of a certain character (i.e. frodo baggins??). Though that's usually referred to as fictionkin.
> some people have more than 1 kintype.



April fools was a couple days ago, hun


----------



## Finnian

Capn Sugarplum McQueen said:


> April fools was a couple days ago, hun



there's this uhhhhh uhh (??) I used to go to school with and uhh uhh (???) has like 15 kintypes and im like whoa there hunny slow down.


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Finnian

Moddie said:


> Rude. I know otherkin sounds a little weird at first but it's not once you try to understand it. I've been friends with otherkin before, they're really nice and definitely not a joke. It's just a spiritual belief and I honestly wish more people would respect it.



it's hard for me to get my head around but yeah, just like anyone else they should be respected.
I still think having like 15 kintypes is a little excessive and i think this person probably just identifies strongly with a lot of different characters and doesn't really know what to do with those emotions but yeah.
I could be wrong ya know?


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Bowie

I love Chris Crocker so much.


----------



## Mercedes

Luckypinch said:


> Is it ok sometimes I feel like I was susposed to be a boy?



I think I'm genderfluid. :/ it matches me..


----------



## Moddie

Luckypinch said:


> I think I'm genderfluid. :/ it matches me..



Awesome, but if you're still unsure - good luck figuring out your gender.


----------



## Mercedes

Moddie said:


> Awesome, but if you're still unsure good luck figuring out your gender.



Thank you. It's gonna be hard to come out to my mother if I never call myself female again. She's such a closed minded conservative. I mean I remember bringing up the Leelah incident. Saying how her parents did the correct thing by burying her in a tux. Saying that me and other liberals go against God. I'm like what does politics have to do with sexually and gender?? She just started spewing crap like you'll understand when your older..Its just like..stop being so closed minded! 
(Also she calles me a liberal I don't even know what that is!) (I know what a conservative is as its my mothers party she votes for..)

Why can't parents just love an accpet there children??! 
(Sorry for ranting..I needed to get that off my chest..)


----------



## Finnian

Luckypinch said:


> Thank you. It's gonna be hard to come out to my mother if I never call myself female again. She's such a closed minded conservative. I mean I remember bringing up the Leelah incident. Saying how her parents did the correct thing by burying her in a tux. Saying that me and other liberals go against God. I'm like what does politics have to do with sexually and gender?? She just started spewing crap like you'll understand when your older..Its just like..stop being so closed minded!
> (Also she calles me a liberal I don't even know what that is!) (I know what a conservative is as its my mothers party she votes for..)
> 
> Why can't parents just love an accpet there children??!
> (Sorry for ranting..I needed to get that off my chest..)



oh do you live in utah too?
Yeah,I know that feel.
My finace's mom is super religious and super mean about it.
:/


----------



## Moddie

Luckypinch said:


> Thank you. It's gonna be hard to come out to my mother if I never call myself female again. She's such a closed minded conservative. I mean I remember bringing up the Leelah incident. Saying how her parents did the correct thing by burying her in a tux. Saying that me and other liberals go against God. I'm like what does politics have to do with sexually and gender?? She just started spewing crap like you'll understand when your older..Its just like..stop being so closed minded!
> (Also she calles me a liberal I don't even know what that is!) (I know what a conservative is as its my mothers party she votes for..)
> 
> Why can't parents just love an accpet there children??!
> (Sorry for ranting..I needed to get that off my chest..)



No need to apologise, it's best just to let these sort of things out. Sadly I'm no expert when it comes to politics so sadly I don't fully know what a liberal is, however if it means you're not as close minded as your mother I can only see it as a good thing. I'm sorry your mum isn't very understanding, I hope that eventually your mum opens up, or that you at least have some other people you're close to that you can talk to about this with.

If you do want to come out, remember coming out is important but always difficult and isn't something you should rush into. Personally, I still haven't been able to come out to my family. I'm openly non-binary, except to my family. (My being non-binary is kind like me being genderfluid in the way I present myself but I don't feel like I have a gender.) I still present how I want, and refer to myself with my preferred pronouns, they/them/their, but I still don't call myself non-binary around them or use my preferred name. (I always worry about worse case scenarios.) All I can suggest is take your time. Coming out is important, but your well being is more so. Just don't rush it, come out when you're definitely ready. If possible, I also suggest look for support in your local community before you come out, they can help give handy tips on the best way to go about it. Most places have a local transgender group of some kind.


----------



## oath2order

Moddie said:


> Rude. I know otherkin sounds a little weird at first but it's not once you try to understand it. I've been friends with otherkin before, they're really nice and definitely not a joke. It's just a spiritual belief and I honestly wish more people would respect it.



Let me sum up the reason people don't like otherkin

"blah blah it disrespects people who are ACTUALLY confused about their gender blah blah stop seeking attention"


----------



## Mahoushoujo

uuuh my first time posting in this thread but i think im genderfluid or bigender im not really sure! im still kinda confused but like i kinda feel like im both boy and girl i guess??


----------



## Mercedes

Moddie said:


> No need to apologise, it's best just to let these sort of things out. Sadly I'm no expert when it comes to politics so sadly I don't fully know what a liberal is, however if it means you're not as close minded as your mother I can only see it as a good thing. I'm sorry your mum isn't very understanding, I hope that eventually your mum opens up, or that you at least have some other people you're close to that you can talk to about this with.
> 
> If you do want to come out, remember coming out is important but always difficult and isn't something you should rush into. Personally, I still haven't been able to come out to my family. I'm openly non-binary, except to my family. (My being non-binary is kind like me being genderfluid in the way I present myself but I don't feel like I have a gender.) I still present how I want, and refer to myself with my preferred pronouns, they/them/their, but I still don't call myself non-binary around them or use my preferred name. (I always worry about worse case scenarios.) All I can suggest is take your time. Coming out is important, but your well being is more so. Just don't rush it, come out when you're definitely ready. If possible, I also suggest look for support in your local community before you come out, they can help give handy tips on the best way to go about it. Most places have a local transgender group of some kind.


Ah thank you. Your support means alot. yeah I'm not gonna rush it. I am for certain a bi though. my mother says nothing about it. (Yet she continues to make homophobic and transphobic comments..) I just need time to think. Nice quiet alone time.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Finnian said:


> oh do you live in utah too?
> Yeah,I know that feel.
> My finace's mom is super religious and super mean about it.
> :/



Nope nope north Carolina and we live next to a Military base.


----------



## Fhyn_K

Mahoushoujo said:


> uuuh my first time posting in this thread but i think im genderfluid or bigender im not really sure! im still kinda confused but like i kinda feel like im both boy and girl i guess??



I'm not the greatest with labels but don't worry too much about it darling. Discovering yourself is such a long process so you should take it easy and go at it at your own pace. There are a lot of others here that can provide you with the knowledge way better than I can. Good luck dear!


----------



## Mahoushoujo

Fhyn_K said:


> I'm not the greatest with labels but don't worry too much about it darling. Discovering yourself is such a long process so you should take it easy and go at it at your own pace. There are a lot of others here that can provide you with the knowledge way better than I can. Good luck dear!



oh thank you so much that means a lot!!! o ya i should include im pan too ive came out to my sis and mom and my moms like in denile or doesnt think i am so :0


----------



## SaffronJoy

Hey I see a lot of pan in this thread  thought I was bi for years and then realized I was hella pan. Super nice to know TBT has some lgbtq+ support here


----------



## EndlessElements

Mahoushoujo said:


> oh thank you so much that means a lot!!! o ya i should include im pan too ive came out to my sis and mom and my moms like in denile or doesnt think i am so :0



i had that issue with my mother as well when i told her i was bisexual, she didn't believe me


----------



## radical6

im not otherkin and dont care what otherkin do but theyre not related to the LGBT community at all 

my best friends stepmother bought me books about being LGBT and knowing my rights, that was sweet of her i guess but im not really sure what i should do with them since the lgbt book is mostly about sexuality (which im pretty confident in) + the rights book is just random ****


----------



## Nay

Nonbinary
It's pretty cool how gender is becoming a big issue in the world. I'm glad things are changing.


----------



## Finnian

sooo the bell tree is just totally breaking for me.
Like source code keeps popping up and i cant load anything.
This is making egg finding extremely difficult.

- - - Post Merge - - -

what the hell i was literally jsut on the egg finding thread and it posted to the LGBT thread????


----------



## Jake

Beardo said:


> Could someone explain otherkin to me? I'm so confused...



No. Otherkin has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality/LGBT+


----------



## Finnian

hey guys.
just a friendly reminder that this exists:





- - - Post Merge - - -

i think the menorah is my favorite thing in this entire video.


----------



## Trundle

Finnian said:


> hey guys.
> just a friendly reminder that this exists:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> i think the menorah is my favorite thing in this entire video.



I don't know why you would pick out the menorah in particular as if it doesn't fit into the video. It's a video based off Christian morals which does tie into the menorah as Judaism was the religion of the Old Testament where the rainbow is even mentioned to begin with.


----------



## Trundle

Finnian said:


> hey guys.
> just a friendly reminder that this exists:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> i think the menorah is my favorite thing in this entire video.



I don't know why you would pick out the menorah in particular as if it doesn't fit into the video. It's a video based off Christian morals which does tie into the menorah as Judaism was the religion of the Old Testament where the rainbow is even mentioned to begin with.


----------



## Finnian

Well, because Christians kinda have a history of hating on Judaism.
You know, antisemitism. 
And yes, the rainbow was first mentioned in the Old Testament, which is a traditional Jewish text.
But, do to the extreme Christian values in this video, I find it weird that they would choose to use a picture with a Menorah, since based on personal experience, Christians _hate_ Jewish people.
So while the rainbow may relate strongly to Judaism, I think it's weird that Christians would even validate Judaism as something positive.
;v;


----------



## Idfldnsndt

why are you talking about that


----------



## oswaldies

*Using The Word "Gay" Incorrectly*

So there are these annoying boys on my bus and they also use the word "gay" in the wrong situations and it's so offensive and annoying. For example some person will be like "I got this good candy on Easter" and then this idiot (now I feel bad) will be like "Dude that's so gay" like what?! It's the most annoying thing they use it so incorrectly and I just think it's really annoying when they do this! Even if someone said like "Dude that girl is cute" then THAT SAME IDIOT (I feel horrible) GOES LIKE "DUDE THAT'S SO GAY" LIKE OH MY GOODNESS WHYYY?!?

It annoys me greatly.
Goodbye~
(No hearts this time.)​


----------



## RosieThePeppyCat

Yea, people at my school do this too. Number 1, it's highly offensive, Number 2, it dosnt make any sense.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Well, there's nothing wrong with being happy.~


----------



## oath2order

RosieThePeppyCat said:


> Yea, people at my school do this too. Number 1, it's highly offensive, Number 2, it dosnt make any sense.



~it's only offensive if you take offense to it~


----------



## RosieThePeppyCat

oath2order said:


> ~it's only offensive if you take offense to it~



Well, it's offensive to others. They are happy, and that's all that matters. You wouldn't want someone saying "ugh that's like straight"


----------



## Celestefey

sailoreamon said:


> So there are these annoying boys on my bus and they also use the word "gay" in the wrong situations and it's so offensive and annoying. For example some person will be like "I got this good candy on Easter" and then this idiot (now I feel bad) will be like "Dude that's so gay" like what?! It's the most annoying thing they use it so incorrectly and I just think it's really annoying when they do this! Even if someone said like "Dude that girl is cute" then THAT SAME IDIOT (I feel horrible) GOES LIKE "DUDE THAT'S SO GAY" LIKE OH MY GOODNESS WHYYY?!?
> 
> It annoys me greatly.
> Goodbye~
> (No hearts this time.)​



Yeah it just doesn't make sense at all really like. You're saying something's gay... And usually when people say something is gay, it's actually not. Like, are people just unable to use different words? Is it that much of a problem? I don't know. It sort of annoys me when people just blurt out these words... I mean, I'm definitely someone who thinks before they speaks. So I guess maybe I expect other people to be like me, but I guess not. I suppose it is a word that people are likely to use in the heat of the moment just because everyone else says it... But still, doesn't make it okay. I mean... Usually when people say something is gay, they're making it seem like it's a bad thing - making it seem negative, or that being gay is something to be ashamed of. There is no reason to ever feel bad for being gay. So what's the point? Can't you just say something else? Or are you going to pull the "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" card to defend yourself, despite the fact you're being disrespectful to a large number of people... Would you rather be seen as someone rude and disrespectful, or be seen as someone who is able to control their language and is respectful and mindful of others. I dunno... It's just a thought. And again. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IN THE CONTEXT YOU'RE USING IT IN. xD "That jacket is so gay." How can an inanimate object be gay? Unless it had the words "GAY" printed on it or something... x'D but yes totally agree.


----------



## RosieThePeppyCat

Celestefey said:


> Yeah it just doesn't make sense at all really like. You're saying something's gay... And usually when people say something is gay, it's actually not. Like, are people just unable to use different words? Is it that much of a problem? I don't know. It sort of annoys me when people just blurt out these words... I mean, I'm definitely someone who thinks before they speaks. So I guess maybe I expect other people to be like me, but I guess not. I suppose it is a word that people are likely to use in the heat of the moment just because everyone else says it... But still, doesn't make it okay. I mean... Usually when people say something is gay, they're making it seem like it's a bad thing - making it seem negative, or that being gay is something to be ashamed of. There is no reason to ever feel bad for being gay. So what's the point? Can't you just say something else? Or are you going to pull the "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" card to defend yourself, despite the fact you're being disrespectful to a large number of people... Would you rather be seen as someone rude and disrespectful, or be seen as someone who is able to control their language and is respectful and mindful of others. I dunno... It's just a thought. And again. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IN THE CONTEXT YOU'RE USING IT IN. xD "That jacket is so gay." How can an inanimate object be gay? Unless it had the words "GAY" printed on it or something... x'D but yes totally agree.



EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN

People at my school make fun of me for playing Pokemon and they say "Pokemon is gay". That dosnt make any sense, and your being offensive to a lot of people.


----------



## Naiad

It's annoying??

I've never really seen it as some huge offensive thing that I need to fight people over, though.


----------



## Bowie

You guys are so straight sometimes.


----------



## Gusmanak

sailoreamon said:


> So there are these annoying boys on my bus and they also use the word "gay" in the wrong situations and it's so offensive and annoying. For example some person will be like "I got this good candy on Easter" and then this idiot (now I feel bad) will be like "Dude that's so gay" like what?! It's the most annoying thing they use it so incorrectly and I just think it's really annoying when they do this! Even if someone said like "Dude that girl is cute" then THAT SAME IDIOT (I feel horrible) GOES LIKE "DUDE THAT'S SO GAY" LIKE OH MY GOODNESS WHYYY?!?
> 
> It annoys me greatly.
> Goodbye~
> (No hearts this time.)​



This does absolutely annoy me, because friends do this 24/7..


----------



## Finnian

Bowie said:


> You guys are so straight sometimes.



ugh i know what straightlords

- - - Post Merge - - -

lol jk
and honestly it does not bug me at all when people refer to things as "gay"
i feel like gay has three definitions:
happy
homosexual
stupid

just like bear.
bear - liek carry, bearing someones weight
bear - the animal
bear - general support


----------



## oath2order

Finnian said:


> ugh i know what straightlords
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> lol jk
> and honestly it does not bug me at all when people refer to things as "gay"
> i feel like gay has three definitions:
> happy
> homosexual
> stupid
> 
> just like bear.
> bear - liek carry, bearing someones weight
> bear - the animal
> bear - general support



bear has four definitions

the three you mentioned

and it's also a slang term for a heavier, hairy gay man


----------



## Finnian

oath2order said:


> bear has four definitions
> 
> the three you mentioned
> 
> and it's also a slang term for a heavier, hairy gay man



i just like scream laughed
and that's true.
very true


----------



## Stevey Queen

Finnian said:


> ugh i know what straightlords
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> lol jk
> and honestly it does not bug me at all when people refer to things as "gay"
> i feel like gay has three definitions:
> happy
> homosexual
> stupid
> 
> just like bear.
> bear - liek carry, bearing someones weight
> bear - the animal
> bear - general support



yeah but they aren't all spelled bear. 2/3 is spelled bare. I'll let you figure out which ones go where.


----------



## Finnian

Capn Sugarplum McQueen said:


> yeah but they aren't all spelled bear. 2/3 is spelled bare. I'll let you figure out which ones go where.



http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bear


----------



## Finnian

UUUUUGGGHHHH.
Of course my facebook is blowing up with this crap since 80% of my FB friends are Mormon.
http://fox13now.com/2015/04/10/lds-church-asks-u-s-supreme-court-to-rule-against-same-sex-marriage/

UGGGHHH stay out of civil marriage, church.
UGGGHHHH


----------



## Fhyn_K

Finnian said:


> Snap.



Three things:

1) You have my condolences and I am giving you all the strength I can send.

2) Unfollowing spree. There are no loyalties other than to yourself.

3) I suggest doing the best angst relieving activity you feel is the most effective.


----------



## Finnian

Fhyn_K said:


> Three things:
> 
> 1) You have my condolences and I am giving you all the strength I can send.
> 
> 2) Unfollowing spree. There are no loyalties other than to yourself.
> 
> 3) I suggest doing the best angst relieving activity you feel is the most effective.



You are such a cool cat.
Thank you dude!
;v;


----------



## Android

sailoreamon said:


> So there are these annoying boys on my bus and they also use the word "gay" in the wrong situations and it's so offensive and annoying. For example some person will be like "I got this good candy on Easter" and then this idiot (now I feel bad) will be like "Dude that's so gay" like what?! It's the most annoying thing they use it so incorrectly and I just think it's really annoying when they do this! Even if someone said like "Dude that girl is cute" then THAT SAME IDIOT (I feel horrible) GOES LIKE "DUDE THAT'S SO GAY" LIKE OH MY GOODNESS WHYYY?!?
> 
> It annoys me greatly.
> Goodbye~
> (No hearts this time.)​



I have a funny story. Before I came out to my brother, he would always say everything I did was so gay, in a negative sense. Like, if we were playing something and I wanted to quit, he'd tell me to stop being so gay. Eventually I got angry at him and asked him why it made me gay to quit something, and then he told me it was just a word, to stop being so gay about it.

Now, it's funny cuz he knows I'm gay and when he's going to tell me to stop being so gay, he immediately stops. Now I get to tell him how gay he's being.


----------



## Bowie

Religion causes so much trouble for me. Nobody I know is very religious at all, but when I do meet somebody religious and the subject of religion comes up and I mention I'm an atheist, they go nuts and one even said admitting a problem is the first step to fixing it, and it's just so ridiculous. Religion is holding us back, I think. We've got gays being brutally attacked in Russia and we've got terrorists throwing them off cliffs. It has to stop. Religious freedom is important, and I do love Buddhism a lot, but some of these religious nuts are just going too far.

I remember somebody here calling transgender is a birth defect a long time ago, and it just gets on my nerves. I think there should be a ban on certain religious actions. People should not be allowed to influence other people with religion unless it is wanted, I think. I mean, when I studied Buddhism the most noticeable thing about them was that they were always smiling, and they wouldn't hurt a fly. They are beautiful people and they care about this world and those on it, and that's how everyone should be.

If your religion does not teach you to be a loving, accepting and overall good person, it simply shouldn't exist. I know it sounds harsh, and disrespecting other people's religious beliefs is not a very nice thing to do, but I think that if certain religions didn't exist, there'd be less harm done in the world. I respect the Buddhists for never being this way and treating everyone equally.


----------



## Gizmodo

Life is going great atm, a recent pic of me ahh. So much better than before, finally who i was meant to be ...


Spoiler


----------



## mystearicaengland

I was going to post something here... but I do not know where to start? Because I am way too tired to try and figure out what everybody's on about at this point in time.


----------



## eggs

mystearicaengland said:


> I was going to post something here... but I do not know where to start? Because I am way too tired to try and figure out what everybody's on about at this point in time.



this is just a general LGBTQA thread. talk about anything.


----------



## boujee

mystearicaengland said:


> I was going to post something here... but I do not know where to start? Because I am way too tired to try and figure out what everybody's on about at this point in time.




You didn't read the title?


----------



## Cam1

I have recently realized I identify as asexual, and came out to a couple of my friends yesterday. It went very well. I am also going to tell my mom soon, maybe my sister, but not my dad. My dad's view on LGBT is as long as you dont shove it in my face, you are fine. However, I dont know how he will react to no sexual attraction at all.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Not related to the above, but it seems like a lot of the time when someone says "don't shove it in my face", what they really mean is "don't talk about it or let it be around me. Just pretend it doesn't exist so my heterosexuality doesn't have to feel threatened by anything homo, k?"


----------



## Cam1

Ghost Soda said:


> Not related to the above, but it seems like a lot of the time when someone says "don't shove it in my face", what they really mean is "don't talk about it or let it be around me. Just pretend it doesn't exist so my heterosexuality doesn't have to feel threatened by anything homo, k?"



Well, the thing is, he doesnt care if someone is gay, but he doesnt want to see them make out or whatever, which I think is stupid regardless.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Cam said:


> Well, the thing is, he doesnt care if someone is gay, but he doesnt want to see them make out or whatever, which I think is stupid regardless.



You're right, it's still stupid.


----------



## kittencat

sailoreamon said:


> So there are these annoying boys on my bus and they also use the word "gay" in the wrong situations and it's so offensive and annoying. For example some person will be like "I got this good candy on Easter" and then this idiot (now I feel bad) will be like "Dude that's so gay" like what?! It's the most annoying thing they use it so incorrectly and I just think it's really annoying when they do this! Even if someone said like "Dude that girl is cute" then THAT SAME IDIOT (I feel horrible) GOES LIKE "DUDE THAT'S SO GAY" LIKE OH MY GOODNESS WHYYY?!?
> 
> It annoys me greatly.
> Goodbye~
> (No hearts this time.)​



Yeah, that kind of sucks. But you're a middle schooler, right? You'll be happy to know that not as many kids still do that in high school. It's kind of an "eighth grade boys" thing, haha

To be honest, I don't fight over microaggressions (like ppl using gay as an insult) anymore. That and I'm really, really, really hard to offend. Actually, my friend jokes with me about "becoming trans" and I just don't fight him about it because honestly one thing I've learned over time is that if you're lgbt and you don't learn to just pick your battles, straight people will be super uncomfortable around you at all times

Which isn't really a good thing like at all it's just a thing :/


----------



## Chris

Gizmodo said:


> Life is going great atm, a recent pic of me ahh. So much better than before, finally who i was meant to be ...
> 
> 
> Spoiler



Damn. I remember we used to talk a lot and play ACNL together when we both first joined TBT. Quite obviously, you're very different now to what I would have imagined when we first started talking. 

You're beautiful. <3


----------



## Stevey Queen

Cam said:


> I have recently realized I identify as asexual, and came out to a couple of my friends yesterday. It went very well. I am also going to tell my mom soon, maybe my sister, but not my dad. My dad's view on LGBT is as long as you dont shove it in my face, you are fine. However, I dont know how he will react to no sexual attraction at all.



If your a girl, he'll probably be delighted tbh. It's a dad thing


----------



## Stevey Queen

Cam said:


> I have recently realized I identify as asexual, and came out to a couple of my friends yesterday. It went very well. I am also going to tell my mom soon, maybe my sister, but not my dad. My dad's view on LGBT is as long as you dont shove it in my face, you are fine. However, I dont know how he will react to no sexual attraction at all.



If your a girl, he'll probably be delighted tbh. It's a dad thing


----------



## Cam1

Capn Sugarplum McQueen said:


> If your a girl, he'll probably be delighted tbh. It's a dad thing


Im not though...


----------



## radical6

if i see one more person saying the queer community i will die


----------



## Ashtot

justice said:


> if i see one more person saying the queer community i will die



when i was a young buck

queer meant strange

like in the hardy boys

"they had a queer feeling that they were being watched"


----------



## radical6

ash's post doesnt show up for whatever reason
but yeah queer hasnt always meant gay or not straight. i dont know where people got that from. im pretty sure its been used as a slur in the south (never hear it used that much here but i do hear people saying thats so queer instead of thats so gay) so it makes absolutely no sense to me why people call us the queer community. or more dumb **** like queerplatonic. whatever the **** that means.


----------



## Fhyn_K

Seriously just do away with labels because it's getting out of hand and it really isn't anyone's business what anyone does in their private life. 

I never did like the queer word and yeah, it's used in the south in a derogatory fashion. Not really that common though at least when I grew up there. I always thought that queer was a terrible catch-all term because everyone under the blanket represent different things and that's me generalizing things.


----------



## radical6

the thing is that people on tumblr especially are coming up with terms like queerplatonic. idgaf what it means but something about...Queer..Friendships. people are trying to change the meaning of the word. there is no way to be queer friends...that makes no sense whatsoever. it allows cishet people a chance to use this slur too. i hate stuff like queerplatonic it makes no sense no one is oppressed for wanting friends. i saw stupid **** like panplatonic meaning wanting a platonic relationship with anyone so im like..ok you want FRIENDS? i wish people stopped coming up with ****. like fine the idea of qp, whatever. but dont use the word queer for it


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## noctos

(Sorry for unrelated to above posts)



Leela said:


> Since this thread is back, I want to ask... any other asexuals out there on the forums? I know there are at least two of us on TBT, one being me.



*waves* Yes hello there are more!!! (I see that you're not on the forum anymore, but I wanted to quote you anyway ;; )

I've identified as asexual for almost three years now. I'm 21 and it took me a lot of time to figure it out. I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, most likely because of several failed relationships, but I'll be okay someday. I'm also bi! I came out to my mom half a year ago and although she didn't get it at first, she accepts it now. Every time she's talking about me finding a guy in the future she'll pause for a second and then add "or girl" for good measure. I think it's brought us closer? 

I think what I struggle most with is coming to terms with the fact that........ this is a real thing....... That's happening to me... Seeing how important sex is to most people is what gets to me these days. I can't help but feel that I'll always be alone.


----------



## Ashtot

why would you refer to everyone in the lgbt+ community as queer

it just blankets everyone in a word that means odd which is kind of counterproductive I think

if they're normal why would you blanket the community as abnormal?


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Clara Oswald

Moddie said:


> I personally use the term queer to describe the community as a whole, as the only alternative is the acronym. Which is normally either too short and thus doesn't include everyone 'LGBT' or too long that it becomes confusing and too hard to say 'LGBTQQIP2SAA'. The term queer works as an umbrella term which covers all those who aren't cisgender and hetrosexual. I fully understand your issue with the word, it was a slur and is still used as such in some places. That being said, I don't see an issue in queer people reclaiming it.
> 
> 
> Queerplatonic is the term for a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection beyond what most people consider friendship. (People in these relationship call themselves zucchinis.) These relationships are the same as any other relationships, just without the romance. (A small minority seem to use the term for general friendship but this is an extremely small minority.) The use of the term, queerplatonic, isn't very common at all, and only seems to be most used among people who are aromantic.
> 
> I am not aromantic but I have double checked this information and it seems to be correct. Hopefully someone who is aromantic and/or in a queerplatonic relationship will come along and add more if needed, or at least someone who has more knowledge on the subject.



As an Aro person. yeah this is correct. Queer-platonic relationships mean a lot to a few of my aro friends because in a world where romance is so hyped it's the only way they can feel vaguely normal and not broken. So yeah it means a lot to them, I've been in a qpr before and they are pretty great. I would say the word is a lot more important to the aro community however anyone can use it.

- - - Post Merge - - -



justice said:


> the thing is that people on tumblr especially are coming up with terms like queerplatonic. idgaf what it means but something about...Queer..Friendships. people are trying to change the meaning of the word. there is no way to be queer friends...that makes no sense whatsoever. it allows cishet people a chance to use this slur too. i hate stuff like queerplatonic it makes no sense no one is oppressed for wanting friends. i saw stupid **** like panplatonic meaning wanting a platonic relationship with anyone so im like..ok you want FRIENDS? i wish people stopped coming up with ****. like fine the idea of qp, whatever. but dont use the word queer for it



I think it really depends on your view and definition of queer. It's not a slur to everyone and I know some people that identify as it. I think it's not a word to take lightly and you should always check with the individual on how they feel about it. I this case however it uses the word queer to refer to a relationship that's kind of inbetween a romantic and platonic. I think it's taking using queer as a word for different, not bad but different. Also you don't have to be a member of lgbt+ to be in one and it's not really implying oppression in my opinion as the word queer isn't being used in that way. But yeah, I agree pan platonic is going a bit far.


----------



## Trundle

justice said:


> the thing is that people on tumblr especially are coming up with terms like queerplatonic. idgaf what it means but something about...Queer..Friendships. people are trying to change the meaning of the word. there is no way to be queer friends...that makes no sense whatsoever. it allows cishet people a chance to use this slur too. i hate stuff like queerplatonic it makes no sense no one is oppressed for wanting friends. i saw stupid **** like panplatonic meaning wanting a platonic relationship with anyone so im like..ok you want FRIENDS? i wish people stopped coming up with ****. like fine the idea of qp, whatever. but dont use the word queer for it



do you see why i can't take anything that comes off of tumblr as serious now


----------



## Ashtot

Moddie said:


> Because I'd rather be included and not just a '+'. I don't like the idea of me and other queer people being grouped together as an afterthought which normally gets left out altogether. Besides, words have multiple meanings and very few people use the word _queer_ to mean _odd_. It's obvious when someone uses the word _queer_ to refer to the community they don't mean _odd_, especially if that person is queer themself. Like I said before: queer is a more inclusive term than the acronym LGBT, and variations of. The acronym is normally either too short which means that it leaves people out, or too long that it becomes confusing and hard to remember. Not to mention the community have been trying to reclaim the term _queer_ since the late 80's, most people have adjusted to it.
> 
> [Note: I understand some people still don't like the term. I will not refer to any individual as queer if it makes that person uncomfortable.]



id rather be a person and not a letter or blanket term tbh


----------



## Bowie

Ashtot said:


> id rather be a person and not a letter or blanket term tbh



I couldn't agree more. It doesn't personally bother me, though. I like men and that's all there is to it. I could be gay, queer, tranny, sinful, whatever. It really doesn't bother me.


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## doggaroo

noctos said:


> (Sorry for unrelated to above posts)
> 
> 
> 
> *waves* Yes hello there are more!!! (I see that you're not on the forum anymore, but I wanted to quote you anyway ;; )
> 
> I've identified as asexual for almost three years now. I'm 21 and it took me a lot of time to figure it out. I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, most likely because of several failed relationships, but I'll be okay someday. I'm also bi! I came out to my mom half a year ago and although she didn't get it at first, she accepts it now. Every time she's talking about me finding a guy in the future she'll pause for a second and then add "or girl" for good measure. I think it's brought us closer?
> 
> I think what I struggle most with is coming to terms with the fact that........ this is a real thing....... That's happening to me... Seeing how important sex is to most people is what gets to me these days. I can't help but feel that I'll always be alone.



Hi hi!  I'm ace, too!  It's very frustrating how much emphasis is put on sex, especially when you want nothing to do with it :c  My boyfriend is not ace, and I found out I was ace AFTER getting together with him, and he loves sex, so it can be difficult :L


----------



## Ashtot

Moddie said:


> Good for you. But I, as do many fellow queers, find support in the sense of belonging that comes with the term. It reminds us that we not alone. Before I knew I was queer; I thought I was broken. And thus that I needed to be fixed. Being able to identify as queer, gave me the knowledge, and support need to see that I was not broken, and that nothing was wrong. Not to mention it's handy to have a catch all term so I don't have to list every group when I am talking about things that effect all queer people.



the only catch all term you need is human

friends should be who remind you that you're not alone

identifying as something shouldn't be the thing telling people that they're normal


----------



## Moddie

justice said:


> call me a queer and I'll kill you. you have NO ****ing right to call ALL of us a slur. I don't give a **** you don't consider it a slur. it absolutely baffles me you people think CISHET ACES are APART OF THE WORD "QUEER" Y but don't understand that QUEER IS A ****JNG SLUR



I didn't personally call you queer. It's not that I don't consider it a slur, I am fully aware of the past meanings of the word and that it is still rarely used as a slur. Like I said: we as a community have been trying to reclaim the word queer since the 80's, and the only alternative I am aware of is either not inclusive enough or confusing.  

And I have no idea why you've brought up cisgendered asexuals but they certainly are queer. Anyone who is not cisgendered and hetrosexual is queer. Thus all asexuals are queer, regardless of their gender as they are not hetrosexual. Cisgendered asexuals generally experience hatred and intolerance different from the rest of the community but they are still affected and need the support.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Ashtot said:


> the only catch all term you need is human



Right. So when I'm talking about things that ONLY affect queer people I should just refer to them using the word human instead despite the fact that'll be very confusing and incorrect. When I'm talking about queer youth being kicked out of their homes because of their gender and/or sexuality I should ignore the actual reason? _Because hetrosexual cisgender people get kicked out all the time for their gender/sexuality right?_ Same for when I'm talking about the rise in hate crime against queer individuals, the discrimination against queer people, the fact in some places it's still legal to fire someone for being queer and refuse them business. The next time someone hits me because I'm queer I should just assume it's because I'm human? _Okay._ (I could go on, but my point should be clear by this point.)



Ashtot said:


> friends should be who remind you that you're not alone
> 
> identifying as something shouldn't be the thing telling people that they're normal


Yeah, it shouldn't be. But when all of society tells you you're wrong. That you're going to burn in hell because of who you are, and who you love. That you need to be saved. And from a young age even your own parents tell you that you deserve to die because of it. It's kinda hard to believe you're normal especially when you don't know what you are, and thus that there are more people like you.


----------



## Ashtot

> Right. So when I'm talking about things that ONLY affect queer people I should just refer to them using the word human instead despite the fact that'll be very confusing and incorrect. When I'm talking about queer youth being kicked out of their homes because of their gender and/or sexuality I should ignore the actual reason? _Because hetrosexual cisgender people get kicked out all the time for their gender/sexuality right?_ Same for when I'm talking about the rise in hate crime against queer individuals, the discrimination against queer people, the fact in some places it's still legal to fire someone for being queer and refuse them business. The next time someone hits me because I'm queer I should just assume it's because I'm human? _Okay._ (I could go on, but my point should be clear by this point.)



but see the reason they suffer isn't because they're different, it is because the people around them are ignorant.

the way you're talking makes it sound like they're the root of the problem when it reality it's the people around them.



> Yeah, it shouldn't be. But when all of society tells you you're wrong. That you're going to burn in hell because of who you are, and who you love. That you need to be saved. And from a young age even your own parents tell you that you deserve to die because of it. It's kinda hard to believe you're normal especially when you don't know what you are, and thus that there are more people like you.



it definitely would be hard to believe that you're normal, that's a problem with society

also i'm not trying to grind ur gears or anything, i'm just discussing, so sorry if i offend you or anything it's not my intention


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## randomkay

I, personally am S, but we have had a few L encounters with friends (completely sober),
My opinion is, everyone is an individual, and we are all unique, that is how we were made. I am lucky to grow up in a household where my entire family feels that way, and 2 of my closest friends are L and G. Everyone should be entitled to be who they are, and not be worried about someone judging them for their life
I wish the rest of the world saw it that way.


----------



## Geoni

What do you guys think of this video (aside from that atrocious editing)? This is an hour away from me. Baffled tbh. Props to this person for staying fierce despite blood running down the legs.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also I'm sure I'm going to get backfire for this, but at the 'acephobia' thing people are talking about, there was a time period in high school for about two years when people assumed (from my views on my sexuality at the time) that I was asexual, and after a certain point I sort of identified with. And the only criticism I ever faced on and offline was the whole 'you don't believe in love that's so sad', and the 'but I want grandchildren' from parents. And most people just viewed me like I was a either a monk or a robot which, sorry to disenfranchise your troubles, is nothing compared to the kind of stuff that's going on in the video above. Be thankful and stop complaining for the sake of complaining, because that's what the whole 'acephobia' thing comes off as. Acephobia deserves to get less attention than things like transphobia. We need to realize priorities as a community. Nobody is going to understand every little term in the lgbtq realm and the facets of those terms and identities, but it'd be a little more important if nobody wanted to kill anybody for being in that realm.


----------



## Bowie

Dad said:


> What do you guys think of this video (aside from that atrocious editing)? This is an hour away from me. Baffled tbh. Props to this person for staying fierce despite blood running down the legs.



I have very mixed feelings about that video. On one hand, I think that maybe the mask and the erotic dancing attracted the crowd most at first, and it was only when mentioned that she may be a man that people got curious. I would've liked it more if it had just been her walking around casually. I doubt she would've gotten as much attention had the mask and the dancing not been there. Either way, I really admire her bravery for doing that and the courage she had to continue despite being assaulted like that.


----------



## Geoni

Bowie said:


> I have very mixed feelings about that video. On one hand, I think that maybe the mask and the erotic dancing attracted the crowd most at first, and it was only when mentioned that she may be a man that people got curious. I would've liked it more if it had just been her walking around casually. I doubt she would've gotten as much attention had the mask and the dancing not been there.



That's kind of a 'you get what you deserve' mentality though, like victim blaming. It's obviously a more performer accepting location (Myrtle Beach at night)...unless you happen to be crossdressing, so the violence isn't really called for and it's obvious what it really is that bothers people.


----------



## Bowie

Dad said:


> That's kind of a 'you get what you deserve' mentality though, like victim blaming. It's obviously a more performer accepting location (Myrtle Beach at night)...unless you happen to be crossdressing, so the violence isn't really called for and it's obvious what it really is that bothers people.



I just don't know what to say. It's horrible to think that kind of thing still happens in the modern world.


----------



## Clara Oswald

Dad said:


> What do you guys think of this video (aside from that atrocious editing)? This is an hour away from me. Baffled tbh. Props to this person for staying fierce despite blood running down the legs.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Also I'm sure I'm going to get backfire for this, but at the 'acephobia' thing people are talking about, there was a time period in high school for about two years when people assumed (from my views on my sexuality at the time) that I was asexual, and after a certain point I sort of identified with. And the only criticism I ever faced on and offline was the whole 'you don't believe in love that's so sad', and the 'but I want grandchildren' from parents. And most people just viewed me like I was a either a monk or a robot which, sorry to disenfranchise your troubles, is nothing compared to the kind of stuff that's going on in the video above. Be thankful and stop complaining for the sake of complaining, because that's what the whole 'acephobia' thing comes off as. Acephobia deserves to get less attention than things like transphobia. We need to realize priorities as a community. Nobody is going to understand every little term in the lgbtq realm and the facets of those terms and identities, but it'd be a little more important if nobody wanted to kill anybody for being in that realm.



A lot of people in that video behaved horribly and I do agree with you that transphobia is a lot worse than acephobia (like I said in my original post) . The video does make you think, have we really come that far in terms of rights? You see a lot of the more positive stuff in the media nowadays and as long as it stays positive I'm all for it, the media is a very influential part of our lives. But peoples attitudes is what really matters and this video back ups that a lot of people are still extremely transphobic.

The person in this video was extremely brave though and they should t have had to take that abuse


----------



## pocky

Asexuality is misunderstood even amongst people who have no problem accepting homosexuality, bisexuality, etc. I mean, even in LGBTQA communities people will rather have the "A" stand for "Ally" than for "Asexual"

It's a pretty simple concept. But I'm guessing this is why people don't get it:

A person can be born ace. These people don't just wake up one day and decide to be asexual. They cannot choose their orientation any more than a person can choose to be gay or straight. They're not broken. They're not depressed. They're not suppressing homosexual feelings, nor do they need to find the "right one." It's just something they are.

However, a lack of a sex drive may also be due to physical/psychological problems. Numerous diseases can affect a person's desire for sex, as can psychological causes such as having a history of sexual abuse, having low self esteem, being depressed, being under stress, etc. I know this all too well because I'm in this situation right now and have been for a very long time.

The problem is that (while both examples are completely different) people tend to focus only on the fact that a lack of sex drive can be the cause of an underlying condition and seem to completely overlook the fact that you can also be healthy and ace.


----------



## Moddie

Happy ace day!
(I would just like to apologise to any fellow asexuals in this thread, it's been very negative today.)


----------



## Colour Bandit

Moddie said:


> Happy ace day!
> (I would just like to apologise to any fellow asexuals in this thread, it's been very negative today.)



Ooh I didn't know it was ace day!
The 'points' Justice has posted is why I stay clear of the LGBT community and stick to pure Ace/ace umbrella (grey, Demi) communities, it always has to be a one sided competition between LGBT and Aces because we 'don't suffer' the way they do, but hey we do still suffer. I am going to admit something I haven't told anyone, not my boyfriend or my family, I was raped by a guy from my school because I wasn't sexually attracted to him and he 'wanted to fix me', this happened about a year before I met my boyfriend- who I do feel sexually attracted to but it took a very long time happen (I id as Demisexual and biromantic, I don't mind being called queer)- I am lucky that my boyfriend doesn't think of me as broken but it kills me inside when people tell me I'm broken... But I also recognise that I don't suffer as much as transgender people do for example, I know it is highly unlikely my parents will ever kick me out for being Ace/Demi or that I will ever be murdered for not feeling sexual attraction, it's just that we all suffer differently.

In the case of my rape, I know it happened because he thought I was broken, he had been sexually harassing me for months and when I told him I (at that time) identified as Ace he got highly aggressive, calling me frigid, a freak, that no one would ever love me, etc and then he assaulted me. 

And that is all I have to say, I haven't posted in this thread for quite a while and I won't again since I now know how unaccepting and hateful some members are, and they are from the community that is meant to be supportive of one-another not some whatever-phobic person...


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Beardo

Dad said:


> What do you guys think of this video (aside from that atrocious editing)? This is an hour away from me. Baffled tbh. Props to this person for staying fierce despite blood running down the legs.



I'm actually crying. 

How could that be real? How could anyone be so horrible and judgmental? She had a crowd of people following her, all taunting her, and some even physically hurting her (the kids throwing the water, the *grown woman* who pushed her down) People are ****ing despicable.


----------



## pocky

When my friend shared that video with me he told me that the woman in the video was actually a cis gendered woman. I don't know if this is true or not, but it actually terrified me more. I mean, if a cis gendered woman is having transphobic slurs thrown at her face then I can't even begin to imagine the sort of stuff someone in the middle of their transition could face out in the streets.


----------



## Bowie

Beardo said:


> I'm actually crying.
> 
> How could that be real? How could anyone be so horrible and judgmental? She had a crowd of people following her, all taunting her, and some even physically hurting her (the kids throwing the water, the *grown woman* who pushed her down) People are ****ing despicable.



I'm so proud of her for continuing, though. Even after the assault, she got up and continued like nothing happened. Even with the preacher, she continued. It's a powerful message. I have a lot of respect for her.


----------



## Steelfang

pocky said:


> When my friend shared that video with me he told me that the woman in the video was actually a cis gendered woman. I don't know if this is true or not, but it actually terrified me more. I mean, if a cis gendered woman is having transphobic slurs thrown at her face then I can't even begin to imagine the sort of stuff someone in the middle of their transition could face out in the streets.



That video was painful to watch! And not just because of the horrible editing. To be totally honest, I'm in a living situation where there's not much progress I can make with transitioning right now, so in person, I definitely don't pass. Things like this are the exact reason I'm still "in the closet" publicly, and with most people I know offline.

Still, she's brave as heck, and I admire that, even though I'm horrified by how she was treated.


----------



## Ashtot

I don't really understand the intention of the video but it goes to show how stupid a lot of people are. People like that just tick me off, especially the freaking preacher who was talking nonsense and the idiots who pushed her over and poured the water on her. What on earth goes through their head when they do that? "Heh, ima push this person down, it'll be funny, heh". You have to be a complete moron to do something like that.


----------



## Geoni

I mean at least when she turned around and walked towards the crowd following behind her they scattered like flies. She was like godzilla in those moments and I _lived_ for it.


----------



## Stevey Queen

Dad said:


>



Nothing about that video made sense. Down to reason why she was doing it, why anybody ever thought she was a man (but if she is, hot damn!), the peoples reactions, and the violence and taunts they threw at her.

Where did you find that video? I would like to know more.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Oh and the editing too. That freakin sucked


----------



## Heartcore

The woman in the video is cisgendered. But it's still definitely a statement about how trans women have to live on a day to day basis and are treated publicly. There is no denying that transphobia still runs rampant through our society when a cis woman is verbally assaulted, attacked, and brutalized in public for being what some perceived as trans or as so eloquently said in the video, "THATS A MAN". It's a disgusting world we live in sometimes. When I first watched that video last week, it really made me realize how backwards we still are as a society and I truly hope we can get past it.

_But yes, it's still all about gay marriage. _


----------



## radical6

Spoiler:  me rambling about tumblr queer theory



i honestly think im sex repulsed sometimes but lmao i just think **** like panplatonic is dumb af. youre not oppressed for wanting friends. im not truscum or any **** but it pisses me off when it gets posted onto MOGAI archive like oh my god. queer theory is stupid as hell. i dont think ace people arent apart of the community, but if youre a cishet ace you will never be queer and i dont understand why this is such a hard concept to understand but whatever tumblr people want to believe. **** like monosexual privilege starts like this. queer theory is stupid as hell and i hate it. i wont be quiet about it because its stupid. its stupid as hell. i try not to sound like a truscum or some radfem but i truly do despise queer theory and i hate people calling their (straight, as in they also identify as straight not just a het pairing) queer because theyre like. doing weird ****. i see it all the time on tumblr. its so annoying and makes me want to die. you dont get called queer lmaooo im a pansexual agender person with a gf (whos also trans and demi i believe) and were sick of this oh my god. im sorry but theres an actual problem in this thread if you think the word queer applies to a cishet couple. i get called queer sometimes or other various slurs. i wont even get into polysexuals calling themselves d*ke which is only a slur for lesbians. or calling themselves femme and butch to describe their gendder which comes purely from lesbians lmao. 

okay im done rambling but im tired of this. im tired tumblr only focuses on this ****. im tired tumblr never acknowledge race does play a part in the LGBT community. black trans women are the most likely out of all of us to be murdered. but yeah just mention trans people lol. i wont even talk about how asian men are discriminated in the white gay community because they have "micro ****s" (which is something trans men and intersex people can have so lol nice transphobia too). because no one talks about it. im tired of this. im tired of people coming up with **** that doesnt make sense. borderline gender (related to BPD). autisticgender. autistic sexualities. im tired of all this goddamn nonsense. explore your gender, fine, cool, whatever. but when you start comparing it to disabilities and **** its just like, what the ****? someone called me a truscum for this and i honestly think that is so funny. 

but truly im amazed that you people dont understand this at all. im amazed that i have people telling me i should be fine with being grouped together under a slur. im amazed. im absolutely amazed. too lazy to @ at people in the thread but lol.



something about that video just seems weird like. i didnt watch all of it since it reminds me of bad things but like. was that person just walking behind them the whole time and no one thought they were going to be recorded? if the woman is cis i dont really see why she did this when thres already videos of black trans women getting beaten to death anyway. but its sad, yes. 

i dont understand how people tell stories about how little children accept them for being gay. brought up my gf in front of a little kid and he shouted loudly WHY DO U HAVE A GF. i am honestly convinced these stories on tumblr are made up. unless the kid never ever watches tv then maybe but i find it hard to believe some kid would stand up for the Gays ..lmao

- - - Post Merge - - -



Moddie said:


> I wasn't going to respond after how rude you were on Tumblr, but I have to clear up something because I think you're assuming I'm 'cishet ace'? Because that's how it's coming across. I'm a panromantic asexual, and I'm also transgender. Queerness isn't a competition. Again, not cisgender and hetrosexual = queer. Anyway, hetroromantic asexuals do experience discrimination. It is different kind of discrimination. Because of erasure I can't find you any examples of ace people being killed for their orientation, but I can assure you hetroromantic asexuals are regularly rejected by friends and family, beaten up, feel broken, and they are commonly raped by people 'trying to fix the problem'. (They will face other issues but those are the main ones.)



i never said that you just attacked me once because i said cishet aces iding as queer is dumb af
i never say cishet ace people dont face acephobia but theyre not ****ing queer

what part do you of CISHET . THE CIS. AND THE HET. do you not understand. yeah i could totally be a cisgender heterosexual aromantic and im totally queer i just want to have sex with women you see..im queer.... literally youre letting people like that ID as queer. if theyre gay or something or trans than fine call yourself queer but if yourw  CISHET QUEER THEN TELL ME AGAIN WHEN YOU GET CALLED A QUEER OR SLURS FOR HOLDING HANDS WITH YOUR PARTNER/ BEING CALLED SLURS IN PUBLIC FOR NOT PASSING WELL ENOUGH. lmao


----------



## Ghost Soda

justice said:


> something about that video just seems weird like. i didnt watch all of it since it reminds me of bad things but like. was that person just walking behind them the whole time and no one thought they were going to be recorded? if the woman is cis i dont really see why she did this when thres already videos of black trans women getting beaten to death anyway. but its sad, yes.
> 
> i dont understand how people tell stories about how little children accept them for being gay. brought up my gf in front of a little kid and he shouted loudly WHY DO U HAVE A GF. i am honestly convinced these stories on tumblr are made up. unless the kid never ever watches tv then maybe but i find it hard to believe some kid would stand up for the Gays ..lmao
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> i never said that you just attacked me once because i said cishet aces iding as queer is dumb af
> i never say cishet ace people dont face acephobia but theyre not ****ing queer
> 
> what part do you of CISHET . THE CIS. AND THE HET. do you not understand. yeah i could totally be a cisgender heterosexual aromantic and im totally queer i just want to have sex with women you see..im queer.... literally youre letting people like that ID as queer. if theyre gay or something or trans than fine call yourself queer but if yourw  CISHET QUEER THEN TELL ME AGAIN WHEN YOU GET CALLED A QUEER OR SLURS FOR HOLDING HANDS WITH YOUR PARTNER/ BEING CALLED SLURS IN PUBLIC FOR NOT PASSING WELL ENOUGH. lmao



I'm pretty sure kids CAN be taught to be tolerant and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, just because it's not always the case doesn't mean it's all made up on Tumblr.

Also, being queer or lgbtq+ or whatever isn't about who has it the hardest. Being queer is about having a sexual or romantic preference that's out of the ordinary or gender expression, being asexual or aromantic should fall under that.

This should be about acceptance instead of saying "I have it worse than you!!". This isn't a contest.

Well, that's what I think anyway.

*drops mic and backs into the curtain*


----------



## radical6

Ghost Soda said:


> I'm pretty sure kids CAN be taught to be tolerant and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, just because it's not always the case doesn't mean it's all made up on Tumblr.
> 
> Also, being queer or lgbtq+ or whatever isn't about who has it the hardest. Being queer is about having a sexual or romantic preference that's out of the ordinary or gender expression, being asexual or aromantic should fall under that.
> 
> This should be about acceptance instead of saying "I have it worse than you!!". This isn't a contest.
> 
> Well, that's what I think anyway.
> 
> *drops mic and backs into the curtain*



i know but you can  tell when its so fake

im done with this topic but they should not be able to use a slur that doesn't apply to them. clear and simple.


----------



## Capella

you're all dumb


----------



## Ghost Soda

Capella said:


> you're all dumb



no ur dumburrrr!!!11


----------



## Jarrad

I don't really understand the video at all... What was its purpose? To show that cisgendered individuals aren't accepted within society? That they're still being abused and discriminated against?

Or was it a video on how many inappropriate body gestures a person can make, whilst simultaneously trying to reap as much attention from the public as possible through wearing a revealing dress and stupid mask? 

Props to her for putting up with all the homophobic (transphobic? idek what to categories the abuse as) abuse she received, though I wouldn't praise her for why or what she exactly did to evoke that sort of _"unwanted"_ attention.


----------



## soda

i really hate when the LGBT+ community uses 'reclaimed' slurs for a group of people. use it for yourself, not me. (that includes queer, you jerks)


----------



## radical6

soda said:


> i really hate when the LGBT+ community uses 'reclaimed' slurs for a group of people. use it for yourself, not me. (that includes queer, you jerks)



i love you thank you


----------



## Trundle

Moddie said:


> Good for you. But I, as do many fellow queers, find support in the sense of belonging that comes with the term. It reminds us that we not alone. Before I knew I was queer; I thought I was broken. And thus that I needed to be fixed. Being able to identify as queer, gave me the knowledge, and support need to see that I was not broken, and that nothing was wrong. Not to mention it's handy to have a catch all term so I don't have to list every group when I am talking about things that effect all queer people.



In short you're not happy unless you know that you are a special snowflake, set apart from the mainstream trends.


----------



## Geoni

idk I'm pretty sure that with young people these days (especially those of a generation younger than me) will be primarily pro lgbtq rights and the people trying to be special snowflakes are anti-lgbtq people trying to act edgy and different. Key signs are people who aren't acting that way for religious reasons but they're just doing it for the sake of doing it. I encounter it a lot.


----------



## Bowie

Trundle said:


> In short you're not happy unless you know that you are a special snowflake, set apart from the mainstream trends.



You call yourself "TBT's COOLEST CAT B)" so you evidentially feel the same way Moddie does. Quit lying to yourself, people. Belonging is something everybody seeks in one way or another. You've just gotta make sure you're in a safe environment, filled with individuals you personally respect and who also respect you. If someone can find comfort in knowing they belong to a sort of category determined by a simple term, don't bite their head off for it, all right? It's very childish.


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Trundle

Moddie said:


> Since when is sexuality/gender a trend? You've misinterpreted what I've said. Again, 'before I knew I was queer; I thought I was broken'. Because I thought I was broken I tried to 'fix' myself. As a young kid I tried to change myself, as I was told I could only be cisgender and straight, and I was told everyone who wasn't both of those things was doomed to hell and such. My identification as queer helps remind me that I am not broken and alone. I don't care about being a 'special snowflake' as you put it.



You raise some decent points although I don't understand how your sexuality changes the state of your loneliness. Did you just not know anything about sexuality? Were you raised in some stupid place like the southern states?


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Trundle

Moddie said:


> Loneliness, in that I thought I was alone. I didn't know that there are others like me. I was raised to believe I was just a mistake but knowing I'm not alone tells me otherwise. And the community helped me further understand just what I am. And yeah, I had a very poor understanding of sexuality. Also, no. I'm from England. But I was raised in a religious environment.



Yeah, it kinda sucks. I'm sorry you had a bad experience as many religious people are really stupid.


----------



## pocketdatcrossing

I feel offended when people use the term 'queer'.It's almost as bad as the word '******'.
I recently had to stop talking to one of my old friends because they kept calling me a ****** in a joking way and thought that I couldn't do anything about it,and a homophobic friend of mine(I haven't came out to them yet) frequently uses the words 'queer' and '******' and every time I hear them it's like a punch in the stomache.


----------



## Ashtot

also sexuality/gender can definitely be a trend to some people that are messed up looking for attention


----------



## Yeosin

pocketdatcrossing said:


> I feel offended when people use the term 'queer'.It's almost as bad as the word '******'.
> I recently had to stop talking to one of my old friends because they kept calling me a ****** in a joking way and thought that I couldn't do anything about it,and a homophobic friend of mine(I haven't came out to them yet) frequently uses the words 'queer' and '******' and every time I hear them it's like a punch in the stomache.



Queer isn't always a negative thing.
It's usually used as an umbrella term for those in the LGBT*Q* community.
Now if they're using it as a negative term to hurt you, then yes that's bad just as using 'gay' in a negative or 'the f word' is.
But in general, Queer isn't a bad term such as 'the f word'.


Spoiler



The “Q” can stand for Questioning and/or Queer: Questioning refers to individuals who are unsure of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Queer is an umbrella term encompassing a variety of sexual orientations and gender identities excluding heterosexuality.


----------



## radical6

ThatOneCcj said:


> Queer isn't always a negative thing.
> It's usually used as an umbrella term for those in the LGBT*Q* community.
> Now if they're using it as a negative term to hurt you, then yes that's bad just as using 'gay' in a negative or 'the f word' is.
> But in general, Queer isn't a bad term such as 'the f word'.
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> The “Q” can stand for Questioning and/or Queer: Questioning refers to individuals who are unsure of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Queer is an umbrella term encompassing a variety of sexual orientations and gender identities excluding heterosexuality.



stop using it as an umbrella term it still hurts people lol


----------



## Clara Oswald

The thing is no one is forcing you or others offended by it to use the term. It's an option for people in the community to have, people use it to feel included or when the simply dont know what they are but definetly aren't questioning. The word is very controversial and I choose not to identify as it for that reason however it does not offended me. It's kind of like the word transgender (not saying it's got the bad history like queer) which some use as the umbrella term for all non-cis gender identities. Not everyone who isn't cis chooses to use it but it's there if they want to. I do think that people shouldn't refer to everyone as queer who lgbtqpia as it is not everyone's identity and it's just plain harmful to some people.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Ashtot said:


> also sexuality/gender can definitely be a trend to some people that are messed up looking for attention



That is really messed up, I think that's really harmful as people could either spread false lies about it and it does not do Justice to the emotional side of things that a lot of non-cishet people go through. Kind of feels like it's mocking us


----------



## Yeosin

justice said:


> stop using it as an umbrella term it still hurts people lol



If someone were to tell me that it offends them as an individual I would stop.

But in general when used in the "proper" way it isn't mean to offend anyone.
In my eyes, it's no different than "gay" or "lesbian" as those are not the "proper" terms either, homosexual is.

Of course, when used in a negative way it's totally different and should be treated in a different manor.


----------



## radical6

ThatOneCcj said:


> If someone were to tell me that it offends them as an individual I would stop.
> 
> But in general when used in the "proper" way it isn't mean to offend anyone.
> In my eyes, it's no different than "gay" or "lesbian" as those are not the "proper" terms either, homosexual is.
> 
> Of course, when used in a negative way it's totally different and should be treated in a different manor.



grouping everyone in the LGBT community as queer doesnt even make sense queer only applies to specific people . and its a slur. what point of do not call people a slur do you not understand. do you know how many people i know who hate being grouped by this word? can you really not just say LGBTQIA+ or be more specific about whoever you're talking about? you literally have no reason to call people a slur. you dont. i would be offended if people referred to the vietnamese community as gooks or whatever, even if some people dont care its still a slur lmao...


----------



## Yeosin

justice said:


> grouping everyone in the LGBT community as queer doesnt even make sense queer only applies to specific people . and its a slur. what point of do not call people a slur do you not understand. do you know how many people i know who hate being grouped by this word? can you really not just say LGBTQIA+ or be more specific about whoever you're talking about? you literally have no reason to call people a slur. you dont. i would be offended if people referred to the vietnamese community as gooks or whatever, even if some people dont care its still a slur lmao...



Whatever lmao, I'm not here to fight about someone about something I know I'm correct on. 

If someone doesn't like being addressed as Queer, I won't call them Queer. It's literally that simple.


----------



## radical6

ThatOneCcj said:


> Whatever lmao, I'm not here to fight about someone about something I know I'm* correct* on.
> 
> If someone doesn't like being addressed as Queer, I won't call them Queer. It's literally that simple.


lol
and how will you know someone doesnt like being called queer? by the time you say it its too late._ why not just avoid using it in the first place_ sorry i hate being called a slur and sticking up for numerous other people that dont want to be reminded of a slur.

- - - Post Merge - - -

also btw have you guys heard the kill the f*ggots game where you kill gay people and transgender ppl. i am amazed people are saying its not a big deal since like trans women (especially women of color) have the highest chance to be murdered but like ok


----------



## tofucakes

This thread is messy, how do I make friends here.


----------



## Ghost Soda

justice said:


> lol
> and how will you know someone doesnt like being called queer? by the time you say it its too late._ why not just avoid using it in the first place_ sorry i hate being called a slur and sticking up for numerous other people that dont want to be reminded of a slur.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> also btw have you guys heard the kill the f*ggots game where you kill gay people and transgender ppl. i am amazed people are saying its not a big deal since like trans women (especially women of color) have the highest chance to be murdered but like ok



Too late? lolwat? Too late for what? Do people lose the ability to say when they don't like a word after it's said? Does saying queer cause them to die instantly or lose their voice or whatever?

I'm fine being called queer as long as it's not used with malice and would even call myself that.


----------



## HufflepuffCas

I'm a little late to the forum, but I'm an asexual and aromantic person with aesthetic/sensual attraction towards all genders, and yeah...


----------



## Steelfang

Holy moly, this thread is really reminding me of tumblr right now (and why I generally avoid it).

I'm not going to get too involved in the argument going on here, but I'm going to be brutally honest and say that I have a hard time taking people seriously when every other word they say is censored and they're just all around being unnecessarily aggressive and hostile. It makes everyone else in the community look ridiculous.

I know that swearing like a sailor and yelling at everyone who disagrees with you is the cool thing on tumblr, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable to do everywhere else. And, even if you're not swearing, but still just being unnecessarily aggressive, that's still not helping anyone.

For the record, I've been abused for my gender and orientation, by strangers _and_ family, and I've had just about every slur that exists used against me at some point, and I still support the right for individuals in the community to reclaim "queer" for themselves. If you don't want it used for you, that's fine. Most people don't. But there's a good way of making that clear, and a bad way, and dragging out a fight like this is definitely a bad way.

Every person in the world who uses the term isn't out to personally offend you. Yes, there are still some people who use the term to be cruel, but a lot of people don't. It's the same thing with misgendering and how uptight the tumblr community gets over it - more often than not, if someone misgenders me, they're making an honest mistake, and correcting them is enough to get the point across.

When you act like this, all you're doing is making yourself, and the rest of the community, look childish.


----------



## eggs

justice said:


> sorry i hate being called a slur and sticking up for numerous other people that dont want to be reminded of a slur.
> 
> also btw have you guys heard the kill the f*ggots game where you kill gay people and transgender ppl. i am amazed people are saying its not a big deal since like trans women (especially women of color) have the highest chance to be murdered but like ok



yeah, i have to agree with this on some level. i used to use "queer" as part of the grouping, but now, it just seems wrong in a way? on multiple occasions, i've mentioned the slur and identified with it. almost all of the times, at least one of my friends looked visibly uncomfortable with me saying it. i don't say it anymore.
it's just a lot easier (and safer) to not use that word/slur. "gay" has become the new umbrella term, so why not use that instead? i'd like to hear some other views, so to everyone: feel free to reply.

also, yes. that game is... i don't even know. i saw sterling's gameplay. not so great.
apparently, the creators only did it to "prove a point".
(they only proved that they're ridiculously stupid.)


----------



## radical6

eggs said:


> is... i don't even know. i saw sterling's gameplay. not so great.
> apparently, the creators only did it to "prove a point".
> (they only proved that they're ridiculously stupid.)



omg its so bad im like how did this get on greenlight? its sooo awful im not kidding . even gameplay wise its the worst thying ive ever seeen the music is so baed and the art is so bad. can this guy go back to baking or wahtever the **** his job was


----------



## eggs

justice said:


> omg its so bad im like how did this get on greenlight? its sooo awful im not kidding . even gameplay wise its the worst thying ive ever seeen the music is so baed and the art is so bad. can this guy go back to baking or wahtever the **** his job was



steam doesn't monitor what goes on greenlight. the only kind of thing that closely resembles "monitoring" is them making people that want to feature their game on greenlight pay a $100 fee. clearly, it's not enough. :s
the main creator himself stated that he only worked on the game for a couple days before releasing it and putting it up. he wanted to make it bad.
i felt like emailing the company, but i don't think he'd be willing to listen to anybody. after all, he didn't even apologize (and STATED that he wouldn't).


----------



## adrino

Putting my two cents in to the subject of using words that have derogative meanings, I myself never personally had any issues with words such as "f**, queer, or homo" I generally used them myself, of course without any malicious intent. I myself am gay so I don't have any hatred towards anyone when using these words, nor when they're said by close friends. 

However, some time ago, I met an incredibly wonderful friend whom I love to pieces and one day, I threw the word "f**" at him. And it really upset him. I was reluctant to change what I said because it's just whatever to me. But he explained to me a personal part of his life that left scars (both emotional and physical) and being called that word only reminded him of that traumatic time in his life. And you know, I really care about him and understood and never once did I call him a f** again. And soon enough, I actually found myself not even using that word for any other occasion. I still don't mind if it's used around me, not in vain of course. But like I believe it's been said here before, you just don't know what a person's gone through. It's more or less about being able to show empathy.

And I've actually never been called those names out of malice. I'm the type of person who has to actually convince new friends that I'm gay haha. I really don't show it, and it's nothing to do with any sort of pressing issue in today's world, it's more of just me being comfortable with who I am. I'm a dude who happens to like other dudes.


----------



## soda

justice said:


> also btw have you guys heard the kill the f*ggots game where you kill gay people and transgender ppl. i am amazed people are saying its not a big deal since like trans women (especially women of color) have the highest chance to be murdered but like ok



Yeah, that was on Steam Greenlight a while ago. The reason it was allowed in the first place is because Valve has no restrictions on any of the games submitted to be greenlit as long as the creator hands over a $100 fee. If enough people vote for it can become an actual thing you download on your PC, which is pretty awful. Thankfully it was removed in a flash due to how much criticism it was gaining from the community.


----------



## Llust

I'm probably just blind, but do asexuals count as a part of this thread..? If not, I just need to rant for a sec
I never hear about anything related to asexuality, which makes sense considering it's not as common as being lesbian/gay/bi/etc..at least from what I know. I'm asexual but I'm not exactly open about it, everyone assumes I'm simply straight. Not too long ago, I was in a conversation where we were for some reason talking about dating, who's lesbian, who's bi in our school, etc..I'd just like to add that I'm not secretive of my sexuality either. So they asked which guy I like, and I simply stated that I'm not interested in guys. They then assumed I was either bi or lesbian, but I said it was none of them and they all got confused :| there are plenty of other sexuality types out there, but yeah..I admitted I was asexual and haha..a majority of the people involved in the convo just didn't understand at all. "Then what are you gonna do when it comes to having kids?" "So there's gonna be no romance going on in your life? That's boring, at least experiment." I just wanted to repeatedly swing my head against a brick wall as they had a conversation about my sexuality for a good few minutes haha..


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## pocketdatcrossing

Right I get that some people identify with the word 'queer' but I am not going to reclaim a slur.


----------



## radical6

HAVE U GUYS SEEN THE CUTE COMIC WITH THE LESBIAN MARRIED CPUPLE OMG ITS SOOO ADORABLE

http://manhuajia.tumblr.com/post/118981113444/magan-danai-by-ermuzibu-previous-1-2-3

so I'm seeing more TWERFs pop up and tbh I really hope they burn in hell


----------



## Soda Fox

justice said:


> HAVE U GUYS SEEN THE CUTE COMIC WITH THE LESBIAN MARRIED CPUPLE OMG ITS SOOO ADORABLE
> 
> http://manhuajia.tumblr.com/post/118981113444/magan-danai-by-ermuzibu-previous-1-2-3
> 
> so I'm seeing more TWERFs pop up and tbh I really hope they burn in hell



Cute comic ^^ Anyway, I skimmed the recent stuff and everything I wanted to say has already been said in a very eloquent manner (thanks Mav!).  I just wanted to hop in here and show my support for the LGBTQA community.  I consider myself a pansexual, but I'm not very open about it in real life.  I'm married to a man, so people usually just assume I'm straight.


----------



## Bowie

I love men!


----------



## confettistan

Sup, didn't know this thread existed until now, but there really has to be some acknowledgement for Ireland here ^^! Winning by popular vote is huge, especially in a country so often called one of the most conservative in Europe.


----------



## Brackets

confettistan said:


> Sup, didn't know this thread existed until now, but there really has to be some acknowledgement for Ireland here ^^! Winning by popular vote is huge, especially in a country so often called one of the most conservative in Europe.



Yes! I was pleasantly surprised by that, well done Ireland!!


----------



## Laulauu

*waves* I'm genderfluid and pansexual


----------



## radical6

lgbt selfie month is dumb
we had tdov anyway


----------



## mayorlulu

Same-sex marriage is legal in Ireland now!  I am straight, but I am an ally


----------



## spunkystella

Yay! So happy it's legal in Ireland and the world is adapting to the fact that love is love and you cannot control your emotions or what gender you love. I am always between bi and lesbian, right now leaning more towards lesbian TBH. You don't have to come out to be straight, that would be silly. Why need to come out to be LGBT? People should accept people for who they are, and I am thankful that the world is finally adapting to it. Stay strong, LGBT! We are in this together, no matter the haters that will always surround us!


----------



## JellyDitto

I'm still questioning. I definitely feel attraction towards males, but once in a while I'll meet a girl that sparks a little fire in me. (I'm a male btw) Idk, I still am only 13 after all. I guess I'll just wqit until I'm older to find myself.


----------



## eggs

is there anyone here that is trans and could (privately) help me with a certain problem i'm having?


----------



## Llust

I feel like people are just going to say I'm going at my sexuality the wrong way, which is what I had to deal with earlier today..but am I the only one here who turned out like this? Backstory- last year I was straight and  liked guys. I went out with a few guys every now and then..but things happened, and I don't find it necessary to get into the details..but I basically went through I guess "depressing" experiences with guys. I don't get along well with girls, so I hang out with guys a majority of the time because they're simply less drama and less to worry about. I had annoying issues with all my guy friends, so I started seeing them differently. Then I just slowly started doing the same for every other guy I saw, regardless of him being a stranger. I don't know how to explain this any better, but everyone I confronted is just saying I over reacted. Whether or not I over reacted, I seriously feel no emotions or desire towards guys. Not romance or sexual, just..no. It's really not that I hate them, my experiences with them just caused me to lose my desire to be around them in general. Ah, the backstory is getting too long. So during class, I was talking to this guy I've known since grade school and uh..he's a friend, not a close friend..but I trust him so he knows everything about me. He brought up the question 'Are you lesbian, straight or bi?' and I just said none of them. He already knew I was asexual by that point, and he was just like 'Tf you're asexual? But you dated (ex's name) last year, that makes no sense' and I seriously didn't know how to respond to that..so I just stupidly sat there with my mouth open trying to figure out how to explain it :/ but yeah he insisted that a person can't simply just change sexuality like that, but is there anyone who can help me out with this or back me up?


----------



## Naiad

Soushi said:


> I feel like people are just going to say I'm going at my sexuality the wrong way, which is what I had to deal with earlier today..but am I the only one here who turned out like this? Backstory- last year I was straight and  liked guys. I went out with a few guys every now and then..but things happened, and I don't find it necessary to get into the details..but I basically went through I guess "depressing" experiences with guys. I don't get along well with girls, so I hang out with guys a majority of the time because they're simply less drama and less to worry about. I had annoying issues with all my guy friends, so I started seeing them differently. Then I just slowly started doing the same for every other guy I saw, regardless of him being a stranger. I don't know how to explain this any better, but everyone I confronted is just saying I over reacted. Whether or not I over reacted, I seriously feel no emotions or desire towards guys. Not romance or sexual, just..no. It's really not that I hate them, my experiences with them just caused me to lose my desire to be around them in general. Ah, the backstory is getting too long. So during class, I was talking to this guy I've known since grade school and uh..he's a friend, not a close friend..but I trust him so he knows everything about me. He brought up the question 'Are you lesbian, straight or bi?' and I just said none of them. He already knew I was asexual by that point, and he was just like 'Tf you're asexual? But you dated (ex's name) last year, that makes no sense' and I seriously didn't know how to respond to that..so I just stupidly sat there with my mouth open trying to figure out how to explain it :/ but yeah he insisted that a person can't simply just change sexuality like that, but is there anyone who can help me out with this or back me up?



I honestly don't think of it as "changing sexuality". It's more of a "learning to understand yourself better". I'm in a similar situation: I went through a relationship and I kinda realized-_ it's just not for me_. Up until that point, I identified as Pansexual. With some further research, I stumbled upon Lithromanticism, and it seems to fit me pretty well. c:
I wouldn't worry about labels unless you really feel the need for them. Just be yourself


----------



## Zeiro

Soushi said:


> I feel like people are just going to say I'm going at my sexuality the wrong way, which is what I had to deal with earlier today..but am I the only one here who turned out like this? Backstory- last year I was straight and  liked guys. I went out with a few guys every now and then..but things happened, and I don't find it necessary to get into the details..but I basically went through I guess "depressing" experiences with guys. I don't get along well with girls, so I hang out with guys a majority of the time because they're simply less drama and less to worry about. I had annoying issues with all my guy friends, so I started seeing them differently. Then I just slowly started doing the same for every other guy I saw, regardless of him being a stranger. I don't know how to explain this any better, but everyone I confronted is just saying I over reacted. Whether or not I over reacted, I seriously feel no emotions or desire towards guys. Not romance or sexual, just..no. It's really not that I hate them, my experiences with them just caused me to lose my desire to be around them in general. Ah, the backstory is getting too long. So during class, I was talking to this guy I've known since grade school and uh..he's a friend, not a close friend..but I trust him so he knows everything about me. He brought up the question 'Are you lesbian, straight or bi?' and I just said none of them. He already knew I was asexual by that point, and he was just like 'Tf you're asexual? But you dated (ex's name) last year, that makes no sense' and I seriously didn't know how to respond to that..so I just stupidly sat there with my mouth open trying to figure out how to explain it :/ but yeah he insisted that a person can't simply just change sexuality like that, but is there anyone who can help me out with this or back me up?


I feel you 100%. I had a very traumatic experience with a guy not long ago and I've felt no desire to have sex since, so I guess I would be asexual now. I'd still date guys though. But I'm not sure how many guys would be interested in dating an asexual guy.


----------



## eggs

Soushi said:


> Isnip



personally, i'm one of those types of people that believes that romance and sexuality are two different things, sometimes related. just because you're asexual (not attracted _sexually_) doesn't mean that you can't be hetero/homo/etc-romantic (attracted _romantically_). for example, my best friend is homoromantic. he is only romantically attracted to men. he is also asexual, so he's not sexually attracted to anyone.

besides, you're the one going through all these feelings and experiences. if they refuse to understand you and your situation, tell them to **** off! honestly! you don't need that kind of stuff in your life. you're already questioning and negativity like that won't help you.


----------



## (ciel)

JellyDitto said:


> I'm still questioning. I definitely feel attraction towards males, but once in a while I'll meet a girl that sparks a little fire in me. (I'm a male btw) Idk, I still am only 13 after all. I guess I'll just wqit until I'm older to find myself.



Age really doesn't make a difference, but of course it's up to you how you want to identify. Never feel scared or bad if you think your orientation is changing, because it's natural for that to happen, especially as you learn more about yourself. It's completely okay to identify as something now, and then years (or even only a few weeks) later start thinking you identify as something else.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Soushi said:


> I feel like people are just going to say I'm going at my sexuality the wrong way, which is what I had to deal with earlier today..but am I the only one here who turned out like this? Backstory- last year I was straight and  liked guys. I went out with a few guys every now and then..but things happened, and I don't find it necessary to get into the details..but I basically went through I guess "depressing" experiences with guys. I don't get along well with girls, so I hang out with guys a majority of the time because they're simply less drama and less to worry about. I had annoying issues with all my guy friends, so I started seeing them differently. Then I just slowly started doing the same for every other guy I saw, regardless of him being a stranger. I don't know how to explain this any better, but everyone I confronted is just saying I over reacted. Whether or not I over reacted, I seriously feel no emotions or desire towards guys. Not romance or sexual, just..no. It's really not that I hate them, my experiences with them just caused me to lose my desire to be around them in general. Ah, the backstory is getting too long. So during class, I was talking to this guy I've known since grade school and uh..he's a friend, not a close friend..but I trust him so he knows everything about me. He brought up the question 'Are you lesbian, straight or bi?' and I just said none of them. He already knew I was asexual by that point, and he was just like 'Tf you're asexual? But you dated (ex's name) last year, that makes no sense' and I seriously didn't know how to respond to that..so I just stupidly sat there with my mouth open trying to figure out how to explain it :/ but yeah he insisted that a person can't simply just change sexuality like that, but is there anyone who can help me out with this or back me up?



Your orientation can totally change. Sexuality and romanticism are completely fluid things, and as you get older and have more experiences and learn things about yourself, that can all affect your orientation. It's not like you're forcing it to change or anything--it's just a thing that happens, and it's completely normal! You can also be asexual and date people, like there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can be asexual and have sex with people.


----------



## Bowie

I've probably said this before, but I'm definitely gay. I feel like I could have a romantic relationship with a woman, but nothing sexual, and I love sexual activity, so it probably wouldn't work out. I don't like women in that way. I could only ever do it with a guy. I also feel like I could be a transvestite. It's not that I want to be a woman, but I like fashion. I don't want to be fashionably restricted by my sex, so, as long as I thought I looked nice, I wouldn't care if I was wearing a dress or a suit.


----------



## Trundle

Bowie said:


> I've probably said this before, but I'm definitely gay. I feel like I could have a romantic relationship with a woman, but nothing sexual, and I love sexual activity, so it probably wouldn't work out. I don't like women in that way. I could only ever do it with a guy. I also feel like I could be a transvestite. It's not that I want to be a woman, but I like fashion. I don't want to be fashionably restricted by my sex, so, as long as I thought I looked nice, I wouldn't care if I was wearing a dress or a suit.



Thanks for the update.


----------



## Bowie

Trundle said:


> Thanks for the update.



Did I ever say otherwise?


----------



## Moddie

Bowie said:


> I've probably said this before, but I'm definitely gay. I feel like I could have a romantic relationship with a woman, but nothing sexual, and I love sexual activity, so it probably wouldn't work out. I don't like women in that way. I could only ever do it with a guy. I also feel like I could be a transvestite. It's not that I want to be a woman, but I like fashion. I don't want to be fashionably restricted by my sex, so, as long as I thought I looked nice, I wouldn't care if I was wearing a dress or a suit.



That's awesome, I'm glad you're so comfortable with your gender to the extent you feel comfortable in clothes designed for both males and females. 
I am happy for you and I don't want to come across as a killjoy, but I would recommend not using the term transvestite. It's a slur and highly offensive to people who are transgender. It also implies you only dress as a woman for sexual pleasure. If you want to use the term that's up to you, but you will risk offending people. I am transgender and I don't mind the term too much but I know most transgender people, especially trans women, really hate the term. If you have to put a label on it I'd recommend using crossdresser instead of transvestite.


----------



## Bowie

Moddie said:


> That's awesome, I'm glad you're so comfortable with your gender to the extent you feel comfortable in clothes designed for both men and women.
> I am happy for you and I don't want to come across as a killjoy, but I would recommend not using the term transvestite. It's a slur and highly offensive to people who are transgender. It also implies you only dress as a woman for sexual pleasure. If you want to use the term that's up to you, but you will risk offending people. I am transgender and I don't mind the term too much but I know most transgender people, especially trans women, really hate the term. If you have to put a label on it I'd recommend using crossdresser instead of transvestite.



Thank you! And really? I didn't realise it was considered offensive, as many I know of refer to themselves as one.


----------



## Moddie

Bowie said:


> Thank you! And really? I didn't realise it was considered offensive, as many I know of refer to themselves as one.



You're welcome. ^_^
It's all down to individuals and their experiences. Some transgender people find it really offensive, but to others it's just another word. The main reason people find it offensive is that the word describes a person, usually a man, who gets sexual pleasure from dressing in clothes designed for the opposite sex. 
Transvestite is an outdated term that many still use incorrectly to describe both transgender people and general crossdressers. (I've heard many people use it to refer to me and other transgender people so I know that it is still used this way.) This use of the word leads many to the misbelief that transgender people are the same as transvestites in that; _'they only dress that way as a fetish'_, and leads to the misinterpretation that; _'the gender transgender identify as is just an act'_.


----------



## Bowie

Moddie said:


> You're welcome. ^_^
> It's all down to individuals and their experiences. Some transgender people find it really offensive, but to others it's just another word. The main reason people find it offensive is that the word describes a person, usually a man, who gets sexual pleasure from dressing in clothes designed for the opposite sex.
> Transvestite is an outdated term that many still use incorrectly to describe both transgender people and general crossdressers. (I've heard many people use it to refer to me and other transgender people so I know that it is still used this way.) This use of the word leads many to the misbelief that transgender people are the same as transvestites in that; _'they only dress that way as a fetish'_, and leads to the misinterpretation that; _'the gender transgender identify as is just an act'_.



I'll have to think on that, I suppose. Cross-dresser sounds all right.


----------



## Improv

Soushi said:


> I'm probably just blind, but do asexuals count as a part of this thread..? If not, I just need to rant for a sec
> I never hear about anything related to asexuality, which makes sense considering it's not as common as being lesbian/gay/bi/etc..at least from what I know. I'm asexual but I'm not exactly open about it, everyone assumes I'm simply straight. Not too long ago, I was in a conversation where we were for some reason talking about dating, who's lesbian, who's bi in our school, etc..I'd just like to add that I'm not secretive of my sexuality either. So they asked which guy I like, and I simply stated that I'm not interested in guys. They then assumed I was either bi or lesbian, but I said it was none of them and they all got confused :| there are plenty of other sexuality types out there, but yeah..I admitted I was asexual and haha..a majority of the people involved in the convo just didn't understand at all. "Then what are you gonna do when it comes to having kids?" "So there's gonna be no romance going on in your life? That's boring, at least experiment." I just wanted to repeatedly swing my head against a brick wall as they had a conversation about my sexuality for a good few minutes haha..



sorry to dig up a post from a few days ago but i literally had this happen to me yesterday and it makes me so mad


----------



## oswaldies

Bowie said:


> I wouldn't care if I was wearing a dress or a suit.



same honestly​


----------



## radical6

im seeing so many people participate in lgbt selfie month and its gross and annoying plz dont do it

its a direct copy of blackout. plus its made by someone whos transphobic so like???????? why did tey make lgbt selfie month ? who knows


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## oswaldies

im wearing a skirt to school maybe, i wonder what will happen...​


----------



## tamagotchi

awkwardswedishfish said:


> im wearing a skirt to school maybe, i wonder what will happen...​



you're gonna rock it


----------



## oswaldies

tamagotchi said:


> you're gonna rock it



haha, thanks (o///o)​


----------



## Moddie

awkwardswedishfish said:


> im wearing a skirt to school maybe, i wonder what will happen...​



I hope you get loads of positive responses from people. I'm sure you'll look rad either way. ^_^


----------



## oswaldies

Moddie said:


> I hope you get loads of positive responses from people. I'm sure you'll look rad either way. ^_^



ill have to see if my teachers will dress code me .-.​


----------



## Moddie

awkwardswedishfish said:


> ill have to see if my teachers will dress code me .-.​



I hope you don't run into that problem. 
Is the skirt short? So long as it is the length required they have no real reason to claim you're violating their dress code. I'm not sure what country you're from but you should be able to wear a skirt to school without teachers telling you to change regardless of your sex or gender. If they allow females to wear skirts then you should be able to as well, no questions asked.


----------



## MariaMauva

This is probably really weird (and may even earn me some hate) but I feel really unsupported in my decision to go against my bisexual feelings and pursue a life as a straight girlie... It's mostly due to my choice of following a Christian life the best I can, and I know that neither I nor anyone else would go to hell just for their sexual activities (or any other activities) but I felt it would be a drag on the life I was meant to live.
Anyway, I had - and in some ways still have - feelings towards women as well as men, and sometimes I just wish I had someone to talk to about it, without them either telling me that I'm wrong and have to pursue every desire I have or that I'm an evil gay hating Christian (which I'm not - I don't hate anybody even if I don't agree with their life choices) and should die, which I have been told before...
Sorry for the ramble, just needed to let that out ^_^;


----------



## (ciel)

MariaMauva said:


> This is probably really weird (and may even earn me some hate) but I feel really unsupported in my decision to go against my bisexual feelings and pursue a life as a straight girlie... It's mostly due to my choice of following a Christian life the best I can, and I know that neither I nor anyone else would go to hell just for their sexual activities (or any other activities) but I felt it would be a drag on the life I was meant to live.
> Anyway, I had - and in some ways still have - feelings towards women as well as men, and sometimes I just wish I had someone to talk to about it, without them either telling me that I'm wrong and have to pursue every desire I have or that I'm an evil gay hating Christian (which I'm not - I don't hate anybody even if I don't agree with their life choices) and should die, which I have been told before...
> Sorry for the ramble, just needed to let that out ^_^;



I don't think you're wrong for wanting to do that.
However, I'm not religious at all, but I do feel that since sexuality is not a choice, any sort of God would not judge based on something like sexuality (especially if it's not, like, extremely explicitly stated, and if it was, I'd take a second look at that). But really, it is your own life, and you wanting to do that because it's how you feel the most connected to your religion is just fine in my book. As long as you're not trying to judge anyone else, or not hurting anyone else, something like that is something that people shouldn't really judge, because it's your own life.


----------



## radical6

awkwardswedishfish said:


> ill have to see if my teachers will dress code me .-.​



unless the skirt is short , im p sure youre allowed to wear w/e u want regardless of gender


----------



## spiffys

learning to accept my self and spreading my genderfluid wings!!


----------



## pocketdatcrossing

So I previously thought I was pansexual but ever since I fell in love with a girl I only want to date girls.I can't really picture myself with a guy.Maybe I'm homoromantic pansexual?


----------



## Toppazz

Having different romantic and sexual orientations is tricky when you're talking to people about orientation. I'm homoromantic, yet as far as I can tell most likely asexual. At least I believe it would qualify as asexual; I'm attracted to girls, but I don't picture myself sexually with those I am attracted to like it's something I desire. Not that I'm against the idea altogether if I were dating someone, but it's not part of the attraction I feel towards a girl.
Still though, whenever anyone asks I usually just go with homosexual since the term is more well-known and, as much as I like educating people on gender and sexual orientations, I don't like going on lectures about it in places like the middle of a school hall or somewhere where I don't have the time to properly educate them.


----------



## Idfldnsndt

I don't know what to say about my sexual orientation because I haven't come out as being transgender yet.


----------



## Ashtot

Soushi said:


> I feel like people are just going to say I'm going at my sexuality the wrong way, which is what I had to deal with earlier today..but am I the only one here who turned out like this? Backstory- last year I was straight and  liked guys. I went out with a few guys every now and then..but things happened, and I don't find it necessary to get into the details..but I basically went through I guess "depressing" experiences with guys. I don't get along well with girls, so I hang out with guys a majority of the time because they're simply less drama and less to worry about. I had annoying issues with all my guy friends, so I started seeing them differently. Then I just slowly started doing the same for every other guy I saw, regardless of him being a stranger. I don't know how to explain this any better, but everyone I confronted is just saying I over reacted. Whether or not I over reacted, I seriously feel no emotions or desire towards guys. Not romance or sexual, just..no. It's really not that I hate them, my experiences with them just caused me to lose my desire to be around them in general. Ah, the backstory is getting too long. So during class, I was talking to this guy I've known since grade school and uh..he's a friend, not a close friend..but I trust him so he knows everything about me. He brought up the question 'Are you lesbian, straight or bi?' and I just said none of them. He already knew I was asexual by that point, and he was just like 'Tf you're asexual? But you dated (ex's name) last year, that makes no sense' and I seriously didn't know how to respond to that..so I just stupidly sat there with my mouth open trying to figure out how to explain it :/ but yeah he insisted that a person can't simply just change sexuality like that, but is there anyone who can help me out with this or back me up?



ok please listen because you arent gay or asexual just because you dont like guys

to me it sounds like you had bad experiences and they turned you off from men which is completely understandable because tons of guys are complete morons

if you found a guy that was actually amazing which is rare your opinion would most likely change

im not trying to force anything on you but you should really not rush to conclusions as i see a lot of people do

if i went through bad experiences i would feel the same way as you


----------



## ThomasNLD

I don`t know if drawing conclusions in love will get you anywhere to begin with. Ofcourse it helps being able to fall back on a identity you have reconciled yourself with, but it should never be written in stone. Allow your heart to choose freely, if it choses for now to withhold from chosing, then thats okay to. Why would you need to label anything? When you see it and then feel it, you have found it. You don`t need to start looking or know what your looking for. I think a person starts seeing, when they stop looking.


----------



## sungrove

i'm a lesbian teenager living in the deep south, and it can be really rough sometimes, but i came out to a friend yesterday and he was incredibly accepting. just wanted to share c: i wish all of you the best of luck in life and love and animal crossing!


----------



## Ghost Soda

I kinda wanna get a binder so I can crossdress effectively.


----------



## Midoriya

ThomasNLD said:


> I don`t know if drawing conclusions in love will get you anywhere to begin with. Ofcourse it helps being able to fall back on a identity you have reconciled yourself with, but it should never be written in stone. Allow your heart to choose freely, if it choses for now to withhold from chosing, then thats okay to. Why would you need to label anything? When you see it and then feel it, you have found it. You don`t need to start looking or know what your looking for. I think a person starts seeing, when they stop looking.



Truer words have not been spoken in the history of the internet.


----------



## Llust

Ashtot said:


> ok please listen because you arent gay or asexual just because you dont like guys
> 
> to me it sounds like you had bad experiences and they turned you off from men which is completely understandable because tons of guys are complete morons
> 
> if you found a guy that was actually amazing which is rare your opinion would most likely change
> 
> im not trying to force anything on you but you should really not rush to conclusions as i see a lot of people do
> 
> if i went through bad experiences i would feel the same way as you



You misunderstood e.o

It's difficult to explain, but that isn't the case-- and I don't dislike guys either. I know some of the kindest and in a way, "perfect" guys that would be referred to as most girls dream boyfriends or something along those lines, and it's not like I don't think 'damn he's cute,' but there's no way that I'd imagine myself going out with them them or literally any other guy. I know that the way I put everything makes it more complicated for some people, but I have no romantic or sexual appeal in general. It doesn't matter how amazing he is appearance and personality wise, I still wouldn't be interested. The text you quoted from me was from a long time ago, and I admit I was overreacting at the time and I wasn't that clear with my words


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## Ghost Soda

Moddie said:


> Ugh, my Dad was just talking about how he wants to kill all gay people. And he kept misgendering a transgender person who used to live on our street, going on to talk about how he wanted to beat her up. I’m so freaking angry and done. I can’t deal with this anymore, I know he’ll never except me and neither will anyone else in my godforsaken family.



if i witnessed that, i'd probably flip out on them.


----------



## Bowie

Moddie said:


> Ugh, my Dad was just talking about how he wants to kill all gay people. And he kept misgendering a transgender person who used to live on our street, going on to talk about how he wanted to beat her up. I’m so freaking angry and done. I can’t deal with this anymore, I know he’ll never except me and neither will anyone else in my godforsaken family.



That's horrible.


----------



## Mango

i came out to my mom last month and now she uses she more then she ever used to, but i cant tell my brothers bcs its apparently "too hard and complicated" for them to understand?? (all of my friends and their siblings and parents use my pronouns...) hsould i talk to her about it??


----------



## spunkystella

Coming from a lesbian standpoint (and should be everyone's...):

"Mom, I have to tell you something. I'm... straight."

That would be stupid. Why should we have to tell people that we're gay/trans/anything else? Really. Think about it.

Homophobic: phobia of LGBTQA. Scared of what? Scared of our majestic fabulousness? Thought so.


----------



## Moddie

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


----------



## ThomasNLD

Moddie said:


> Ugh, my Dad was just talking about how he wants to kill all gay people. And he kept misgendering a transgender person who used to live on our street, going on to talk about how he wanted to beat her up. I?m so freaking angry and done. I can?t deal with this anymore, I know he?ll never except me and neither will anyone else in my godforsaken family.



I had a similar experience with my brother in law. He told me he wanted to shoot all people with certain mental illnesses. He didn`t realise one of the illnesses he mentioned, was part of my daignosis. At first it filled me with dissapointment really, maybe a little anger. But more then anything else, I felt sorry for him, to just dismiss so many people like that. 

I hope someday, maybe when you are out of the parental house and on your own, you can look at it like that as well. Its hard not to take it personal, when he is in some regard attacking a part of your identity. However, you can fight your entire life for acceptance of someone, which you might never get. My counselor spent a lot of time getting this across to me, so I could let go of seeking parental approval and instead, move on and give myself a chance to find it elsewhere. 

As much as I feel every child deserves a nurturing environment where acceptance is considered common sense, it sadly isn`t the world we live in. Maybe in time your father will see things differently, it happens when bigotry meets knowledge. But maybe he is to set in his ways to change, either way, getting some distance might make it easier for you to stay closer to yourself. Good luck.


----------



## Moddie

ThomasNLD said:


> I had a similar experience with my brother in law. He told me he wanted to shoot all people with certain mental illnesses. He didn`t realise one of the illnesses he mentioned, was part of my daignosis. At first it filled me with dissapointment really, maybe a little anger. But more then anything else, I felt sorry for him, to just dismiss so many people like that.
> 
> I hope someday, maybe when you are out of the parental house and on your own, you can look at it like that as well. Its hard not to take it personal, when he is in some regard attacking a part of your identity. However, you can fight your entire life for acceptance of someone, which you might never get. My counselor spent a lot of time getting this across to me, so I could let go of seeking parental approval and instead, move on and give myself a chance to find it elsewhere.
> 
> As much as I feel every child deserves a nurturing environment where acceptance is considered common sense, it sadly isn`t the world we live in. Maybe in time your father will see things differently, it happens when bigotry meets knowledge. But maybe he is to set in his ways to change, either way, getting some distance might make it easier for you to stay closer to yourself. Good luck.



I don't have anything to add. I just wanted to say, your words were helpful, thank you, and that I'm sorry for what you had to go through with your brother-in-law.


----------



## ThomasNLD

My brother in law turned out to be one of those people who got passed his bigotry and allowed gained knowledge to come to a different opinion on the matter. It does happen. We even went to a concert together recently. 

Thank you for your concern though.


----------



## Moddie

ThomasNLD said:


> My brother in law turned out to be one of those people who got passed his bigotry and allowed gained knowledge to come to a different opinion on the matter. It does happen. We even went to a concert together recently.
> 
> Thank you for your concern though.



Oh, that's great news! I'm glad that he changed his view point.


----------



## pokedude729

My pastor is actually gay.


----------



## Mango

Mango said:


> i came out to my mom last month and now she uses she more then she ever used to, but i cant tell my brothers bcs its apparently "too hard and complicated" for them to understand?? (all of my friends and their siblings and parents use my pronouns...) hsould i talk to her about it??



can someone help me with this

- - - Post Merge - - -



Kicki_ACNL said:


> Coming from a lesbian standpoint (and should be everyone's...):
> 
> "Mom, I have to tell you something. I'm... straight."
> 
> That would be stupid. Why should we have to tell people that we're gay/trans/anything else? Really. Think about it.
> 
> Homophobic: phobia of LGBTQA. Scared of what? Scared of our majestic fabulousness? Thought so.



well technically homohpboia is the fear/hatrid of homosexuals, queerphobia is the phobia of lgbtqia+


----------



## Idfldnsndt

Mango said:


> i came out to my mom last month and now she uses she more then she ever used to, but i cant tell my brothers bcs its apparently "too hard and complicated" for them to understand?? (all of my friends and their siblings and parents use my pronouns...) hsould i talk to her about it??



I think it would be best to talk with her about it if it is bothering you a lot


----------



## Mango

Idfldnsndt said:


> I think it would be best to talk with her about it if it is bothering you a lot



shes like??// relaly transphobic towards me thougg itd end up in me saying sorry


----------



## tofucakes

Mango said:


> i came out to my mom last month and now she uses she more then she ever used to, but i cant tell my brothers bcs its apparently "too hard and complicated" for them to understand?? (all of my friends and their siblings and parents use my pronouns...) hsould i talk to her about it??



Do you think your mom would be receptive to reading links regarding "Trans 101" stuff? I can send you things I think might be helpful if you'd like. Also, in my experience children seem to get it much easier, or at least don't dwell on it much, so this shouldn't be used as an excuse for anyone to misgender you.


----------



## zeoli

My parents really don't have understanding for my views.  I prefer male pronouns and being called Oliver.  However, my mom told me I was being "selfish" for wanting to use pronouns other than she, and that my birth name will ALWAYS be my name.  At the same time though, both of my parents will let me dress as I please.
Also, I'm scared to tell my grandma because she's a total queerphobic.  She misgenders this poor woman at her work and constantly belittles her by saying horrible things to my family. I've told her to shut up multiple times and I've left the room on several occasions because I couldn't stand it.  It's not right. She's also very angry that I have a sweater that says "My gender is Shut Up" because apparently it'll make people think I'm a "he-she"
pfft grandma, if only you knew XD


----------



## Mango

tofucakes said:


> Do you think your mom would be receptive to reading links regarding "Trans 101" stuff? I can send you things I think might be helpful if you'd like. Also, in my experience children seem to get it much easier, or at least don't dwell on it much, so this shouldn't be used as an excuse for anyone to misgender you.



tht would be great ah

yeah ive noticed that ;_;


----------



## shunishu

just got banned on the nintendo twitch for saying 'I'm old, gay and grumpy'. apparently you arent allowed to acknowledge the word gay or myself.. nintendo is so backwards.. i'm over them. 
(edit: i know it's just part of a spam filter, but i'm tired of being considered a slur in 2015)

- - - Post Merge - - -



Mango said:


> tht would be great ah
> 
> yeah ive noticed that ;_;



till the other links arrive, check out these from wikihow 

How to respect a transgender person 
How to Show Support to a Transgender Family Member
How to Support a Transgender Friend
How to come out as Transgender
How to come to terms with being transgender as a teen
How to come out as Transgender at Work
How to cope with Gender Dysphoria
How to deal with Transphobia
How to deal with Transphobic Parents
How to deal with bullying when authority figures are unsupportive
How to transition male to female (mtf)
How to transition female to male(ftm) 
don't hesitate to show them all of these, so they get a sense of all sides of this topic.
I find these very helpful and on point, might make it easier to articulate yourself about it as well.

there are plenty supports groups out there on the internet & in real life, dont be afraid to reach out.
no matter what your family, friends & immediate surrounding thinks of you and your decisions just know that you are loved and that you live for yourself and there are many people that can love and appreciate you.
even if people dont understand you now, doesn't mean that they'll never come around.. some people need more time. some people react wrong, cause they dont know how to react and mess up.. give them a chance.. but dont put up with everything of course..

_good luck to all of you. <3
_
general advice, if someone misgenders you, educate them and be patient.. dont take it personal every time, cause a lot of people will take ages to get it right and still mess up (even people who care about you), some are very ignorant of course.. you will encounter all sorts of reactions. it's important that you know who you are, are able to demand recognition of course, but also are prepared for all sorts of reactions. which will come.  do not accept belittlement and misgendering at work/school in any case.
you can give people you care about an ultimatum to accept you too. turn around the table.. (edit: of course only if you have a support network of friends and the means to move out etc.. don't be too risky.. but you know your people best and how they might react.)
it also can be a good way to find out who actually cares about you, so the people you get in your life will actually be very close friends.
speak up, if you see someone being misgendered.

you are important.  being transgender becomes more possible and liveable every day.
if you don't get the recognition you seek, which may (hopefully not) happen, do not let that hold you down, you just have to start doing your thing and not care anymore..

if you are in a trans-/homophobic workplace, you do not have to be strong and prove anything to anyone, if it's too much, don't be afraid to quit if possible. atleast check what other employment possibilites  are out there and leave as soon as possible. you dont have to endure any of this and the stress included.

if you don't have access to essentials or are afraid to get them yourself or dont have money to buy things like bras, makeup, something to bind down your chest etc, there are projects that send out free care packages to transgender people! google it I'm sure you find a few.
if you can afford it, you can get these things from amazon or ebay cheap too without anyone other than you having to know.

only you know, when you are ready to be you. don't let anyone push you out, when you're not ready to face your reality. 


I'm glad more people know the term gender dysphoria now and understand what it means to deal with it. when I was younger, I didn't even know it, even tho i was going through it, so there wasn't any language or discussion base. 


*links fixed


----------



## pippy1994

I had feelings for another girl about 5 years back, was still with my serious bf at the time. It was a little awkward though because she's 5 years younger than me. It's not as if it was a physical feeling I had for her, but more emotional based. Although I would get jealous of her online relationship with another female. We had arguments about it a few times, she even considered dumping her gf to be with me, but I just couldn't do it. I was still attached to my bf at the time and I was scared of what others would think about me in particular. Although my relationship with my bf was very similar, he was 5 years older than me and I knew what people thought about our relationship.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that my feelings for her were more of the big sister/little sister type, caring for her like a sister.

To be honest, I don't know how to classify my own sexuality. I tend to just consider myself straight.


----------



## shunishu

pippy1994 said:


> To be honest, I don't know how to classify my own sexuality. I tend to just consider myself straight.



that's ok. you don't have to be anything. sexuality is also very fluid and not that easy to classify. there's lots of inbetweens. you can be whatever you want to be, or you think you are.


----------



## zeoli

shunishu said:


> speak up, if you see someone being misgendered.


You know, I gotta say, my family is horrible with that.  If you saw what I posted earlier about my grandma's co-worker, I have tried in the past to correct my family when they misgender her.  I usually get yelled at to shut up and that that poor woman is the opposite of what she is.  I've also been pulled aside by my mom and yelled at that I should "stop following what everyone else does and be myself" when it comes to my family.  It's like...I am being myself????? You all are just being so ignorant.
Any advice when it comes to that?


----------



## shunishu

Oliy said:


> It's like...I am being myself????? You all are just being so ignorant.
> Any advice when it comes to that?


with the speaking up, i meant more in a public environment. and when you know it's not gonna be risky. but sometimes it can be risky for someone else, if nothing is said.

yeah, that can be very difficult and annoying, when it's in an environment, that you are always in and they are that stubborn. make sure you check out the links i posted, there's some good advice in them.
i'm very shy in person and have problems expressing myself in person and through words anyway, so I'm lucky my parents aren't that bad and very open-minded and interested to learn.

you just can't ever give up on your standpoint. it's good that you make an opposition to their views known and let them know they are wrong, even if they don't understand or accept that. atleast they know that there is another view. and you didn't let that silence you.
some people react badly when receiving opposition after expressing a strong, maybe problematic opinion.. and get more stubborn & intense.
make it clear that you dont support their opinion and that what they are saying is hurtful to others, even if they dont see how.

do you have friends, that you can be open with and vent out your frustration, if you have to? that can help. 
also dont let their ignorance get you stressed out.. also in general, dont let your hair get grey over other peoples ignorance.. its not worth it..
_(negative stress is toxic.)
_


also as you posted above .. you are not selfish!   
they are selfish for ignoring your request.


these are just my thoughts


----------



## zeoli

shunishu said:


> with the speaking up i meant more in a public environment.



I figured but I'd thought I'd ask since you seem pretty wise *u*
I won't ever give up on it!!!
Yes, I do have friends that I can be VERY open with, haha.  I try not to let it bother me but it just...does?  I get bothered pretty easily about a lot of things though.  I should probably start looking for grey hairs now, haha @u@


----------



## shunishu

Oliy said:


> I should probably start looking for grey hairs now, haha @u@



hehe 
I'm glad you have a support net, that's very important.
of course it bothers you, how could it not. don't let it stop you from being you. people often waste time not being themselves, because they need to be accepted first, before they can start living. if the support doesn't seem in sight, you just can't waste time on it. life is just too much fun to miss out, you know


----------



## zeoli

shunishu said:


> hehe
> I'm glad you have a support net, that's very important.
> of course it bothers you, how could it not. don't let it stop you from being you. people often waste time being themselves because they need to be accepted before they can start living. if the support doesn't seem in sight, you just can't waste time on it. life is just too much fun to miss out you know



I'll try to keep your words of wisdom in mind every time I'm bothered, okay?  I actually do need to enjoy life more anyways xD


----------



## shunishu

Oliy said:


> I'll try to keep your words of wisdom in mind every time I'm bothered, okay?  I actually do need to enjoy life more anyways xD


I'm glad I could help. stay strong!


----------



## Mango

shunishu said:


> snip because big post



thank u so much this helps a lot ;_;


----------



## Gizmodo

If anyone ever needs any trans advice, message me x


----------



## abelsister

my great grandma says gays and transgenders are sinners, and all they do is sin. i wanted to blurt "well i guess that makes me a sinner lol bc im gay"


----------



## Paramore

abelsister said:


> my great grandma says gays and transgenders are sinners, and all they do is sin. i wanted to blurt "well i guess that makes me a sinner lol bc im gay"



My family's just like that. Like even my sister says she's "she's scared of lesbians" and "dislikes gay guys". and i live in ****ing california sooooo


idek


----------



## Mahoushoujo

the two posts above me are actually rlly similar to what my parents do when they hear abt transgenders and/or gays they always use slurs and say its not right but im literally and gay trans so its like scary how i have to be closeted (only my gender is closeted tho) for a really long time because if i ever come out that im transgender my parents would probably disown me or deny that im a boy and that scares me smh my mom probably still thinks im straight even tho i told her im pan because its a "phase" honestly it was terrifying and sad when she laughed after i told her i was pan, anyway my parents r transphobic and homophobic too so yeah


----------



## EtchaSketch

Well I'm none of those above but I fully support it
My dad is against gay people
My brother is against gay people
My grandparents are against transsexuals (did i say that correctly?)
Mymom is against all of the above

I'm all for it
I'm a Christian but I support it 100%
You go, guys!<3
Show those haters who is boss


----------



## boujee

Mm, I've been questioning my sexuality lately(which is good, I'm discovering myself).
Lately I've been uninterested in relationships period. It's probably stress since I have a lot on my plate already and I really don't want to get in a relationship in where I feel as though I'm taking care of myself and you. Maybe it's the thought of that makes me uninterested.
Maybe I'm just interested in platonic relations atm.
I'm not sure, I believe im demisexual but I also feel close to being asexual. But then there's this process of me wanting to be in a relationship but as soon as I get into one, I get uninterested. I'm not uncomittable, I had relationships that lasted years worth, this is just how I'm feeling now. Meh


----------



## radical6

im like. sex repulsed from childhood trauma but tbh i dont like calling myself asexual coz i hate the ace community on tumblr lmao


----------



## gpiggy2

I'm pansexual  If there are any other pansexuals out there maybe we can talk about it together? I rarely meet other pansexuals...


----------



## Mahoushoujo

gpiggy2 said:


> I'm pansexual  If there are any other pansexuals out there maybe we can talk about it together? I rarely meet other pansexuals...



im pan and im sure theres lots of pansexuals on tbt


----------



## gpiggy2

Yay! How long have you known about your sexuality if you don't mind me asking?


----------



## Bulbadragon

I'm also pan c: like it says above i think there are quite a few pan people on here


----------



## Mahoushoujo

gpiggy2 said:


> Yay! How long have you known about your sexuality if you don't mind me asking?



i dont mind at all actually! ive been pan for like a while now idk i feel like it started when i was younger but i was scared to think abt that i was gay af


----------



## Zanessa

I'm a genderfluid pansexual. 
I had a gender crisis this morning because I was going to hang with my friends and didn't know what to wear. Did I want a skirt or my flannel, meaning I had to wear pants? Also realized I need a bigger variety of guys clothes. 

Oh well.


----------



## Vida

I'm bisexual... although strictly speaking, I'd have to call myself pansexual. However, to be honest, I don't really see a need to make such a clear distinction in that regard. For me, personally, being bisexual means being into guys and girls so for me, naturally, this also includes genderqueer people. Where I'm from, people don't even know the label pansexual, so everyone just assumes that you could potentially like anyone regardless of gender when you say that you're bi. Of course, I don't mind other people calling themselves pansexual, it's just that for me, this is not so important.

Other than that, I'm pretty much out to anyone that matters to me. What makes me kind of sad is that my mother has been acting weird about it ever since I told her. She denies it and I don't know if she is ever going to come to terms with it.


----------



## gpiggy2

ZanessaGaily said:


> I'm a genderfluid pansexual.
> I had a gender crisis this morning because I was going to hang with my friends and didn't know what to wear. Did I want a skirt or my flannel, meaning I had to wear pants? Also realized I need a bigger variety of guys clothes.
> 
> Oh well.



Another member of the pan clan :3

- - - Post Merge - - -



Bulbadragon said:


> I'm also pan c: like it says above i think there are quite a few pan people on here



Join the pan clan 

- - - Post Merge - - -



Mahoushoujo said:


> i dont mind at all actually! ive been pan for like a while now idk i feel like it started when i was younger but i was scared to think abt that i was gay af



Cool  I identified a little over a year ago, just before I turned 14. In your opinion, is that young/old/average age to realise your sexuality just out of interest?


----------



## Vida

gpiggy2 said:


> In your opinion, is that young/old/average age to realise your sexuality just out of interest?



Everyone is different. Some people know at a young age (14 is young in my opinion) that they are queer, others need a few years longer. I came to realize my sexuality when I was 19 and I've met quite a lot of other people who also took that long to realize. And of course, there are always people who suddenly start questioning their sexuality in their 30s or 40s or even later. So this is different for everyone. I guess it's most common to realize one's sexuality during puberty though.


----------



## Mahoushoujo

> Cool  I identified a little over a year ago, just before I turned 14. In your opinion, is that young/old/average age to realise your sexuality just out of interest?


im not sure if i undetstand what u mean? i think it doesnt matter what age you are when you find out youre gay (the post above me is good)


----------



## Improv

#LoveWins in America


----------



## shunishu

about time america!!! took long enough -_- ... really embarassing for the states that stuck it out till the end
 (those are states you should probably avoid alltogether ^^
but i'm happy it finally happened and hope more countries follow now.. 
if even ireland has gay marriage, there's really no excuse..


----------



## Zanessa

#LoveWins: I can marry the person I love no matter the sex. This is amazing.


----------



## Mango

#lovewins we did it!


----------



## shunishu

Mango said:


> #lovewins we did it!



yes, for now, but it's stil a long long way to go.


----------



## Flop

shunishu said:


> about time america!!! took long enough -_- ... really embarassing for the states that stuck it out till the end
> (those are states you should probably avoid alltogether ^^
> but i'm happy it finally happened and hope more countries follow now..
> if even ireland has gay marriage, there's really no excuse..


My state was one of them.  Smh.  SCOTUS wins today.


----------



## pokedude729

forgive me for asking, but what is a pansexual?


----------



## brutalitea

shunishu said:


> about time america!!! took long enough -_- ... really embarassing for the states that stuck it out till the end
> (those are states you should probably avoid alltogether ^^
> but i'm happy it finally happened and hope more countries follow now..
> if even ireland has gay marriage, there's really no excuse..



I'm not a red state fan so I was planning on avoiding those states anyway! ;P 




pokedude729 said:


> forgive me for asking, but what is a pansexual?



Attraction regardless of gender identity is how I understand it. To some people there's no difference between bi and pan but to others there is a difference. For example, I was accused of being transphobic for identifying as bi and not pan even though I said I would be totally fine with dating someone who is trans (and I have actually dated someone who is trans).


----------



## shunishu

btw. Lush has a "gay is ok" soap now.. and the proceeds go to lgbt charities.. that is pretty awesome 'gay is ok' soap link
it's only ?4 too and looks neat
might get one later ^^


----------



## Dasbreenee

pokedude729 said:


> forgive me for asking, but what is a pansexual?



The post above is correct. You basically don't care how someone identifies. You are willing to love any gender/sexuality.


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

shunishu said:


> btw. Lush has a "gay is ok" soap now.. and the proceeds go to lgbt charities.. that is pretty awesome 'gay is ok' soap link
> it's only ?4 too and looks neat
> might get one later ^^



Dang, now I want to go shopping >_< Thoigh then I'll go in the nearest lush shop intending to spend ?4 and end up coming out with ?15 worth of bath bombs or something too...


----------



## Dasbreenee

I personally actually have a genuine question that may sound rude. But don't mean for it to. 
But, I do have a boyfriend. But I feel like I've been someone questioning my sexuality lately. Though we've been together for over 3 years. I love him, and I do enjoy being with him intimately. 
But at the same time, I've thought about it and I feel like I could love a female (I am female) but I just couldn't be with them intimately. I've also felt this way about transgenders. I have a close friend who is FtM and my friend dates him. Before she started dating him, I thought to myself that I could be with someone who is transgender, but not intimately. As for transsexual, if they were FtM transexual, I feel like I actually could be with them intimately because they are physically male. I'm sure this all sounds awful because I'm saying basically "I could never have sex with a girl" but obviously there are people who are asexual, who normally, in most cases, don't have sexual desires but do have love for the person they are with. Could what I'm explaining be some "branch" of asexual? Or am I just being odd?


Edit- just to add, I have kissed females and have no problem with it. It's just the intimate portion I feel would bother me. I suppose I would never know until I try, but I'm engaged XD


----------



## shunishu

TheCreeperHugz said:


> Dang, now I want to go shopping >_< Thoigh then I'll go in the nearest lush shop intending to spend ?4 and end up coming out with ?15 worth of bath bombs or something too...


haha you can always just go with ?4 and nothing more to make sure you dont get tempted xD


----------



## kaitastrophe

I know what LGBT means, but what is QA? Just askin'


----------



## Ghost Soda

pandycake said:


> I know what LGBT means, but what is QA? Just askin'



Queer and Alli/Asexual.


----------



## kaitastrophe

nvm. too many people are getting offended by this comment.


----------



## Ghost Soda

pandycake said:


> ok, here I go... please note that i am not in any way trying to offend anyone.
> i am heterosexual, always have been and always will be. i NEVER had any doubts about my sexuality,(or whether i was a boy or a girl. i knew i was born a girl and i would die a girl) i knew that i would always love/feel sexually attracted to the opposite sex. but now i see that gay marriage has been allowed, that there are alot of people that do question their sexuality. i do not agree with homosexuality. it goes against my religion, my beliefs, and other personal things. however: this doesnt mean that i mistreat or bully LGBT people, oh no! i treat them just like i treat any other people, i just dont agree with what they're doing. i have an open mind and im always willing to try/explore new things, but my sexuality/gender isnt one of them.
> phew... that was a load of my back. i wanted to say that for a long time but my parents would never listen >u<



Alrighty then...?


----------



## kaitastrophe

i support gays though. 
#lovewins


----------



## shunishu

pandycake said:


> i do not agree with homosexuality. it goes against my religion, my beliefs, and other personal things. however: ...


what you need to understand is that whether you agree or disagree doesnt matter.  lgbtqa+ people exist and are fully valid, whether you disagree or not. it's cool that youre cool with being straight, but lgbt people exist and are humans and _it's just not about you._ the fact that lgbt+ people exist doesnt devalue your existence, but saying you disagree with their existence is the equivalent to erasure of their validity. there is a thin line with being supportive and being homophobic. just be aware of that, ok?noone is asking for your approval.
lgbtqa+ people have feelings and are full human beings whether people wanna see that or not.


----------



## Aradai

pandycake said:


> I know what LGBT means, but what is QA? Just askin'


Q- Questioning
A- Agender/Aromantic/Asexual


----------



## Vida

pandycake said:


> ok, here I go... please note that i am not in any way trying to offend anyone.
> i am heterosexual, always have been and always will be. i NEVER had any doubts about my sexuality,(or whether i was a boy or a girl. i knew i was born a girl and i would die a girl) i knew that i would always love/feel sexually attracted to the opposite sex. but now i see that gay marriage has been allowed, that there are alot of people that do question their sexuality. i do not agree with homosexuality. it goes against my religion, my beliefs, and other personal things. however: this doesnt mean that i mistreat or bully LGBT people, oh no! i treat them just like i treat any other people, i just dont agree with what they're doing. i have an open mind and im always willing to try/explore new things, but my sexuality/gender isnt one of them.
> phew... that was a load of my back. i wanted to say that for a long time but my parents would never listen >u<




I'm bisexual, always have been and probably always will be (but since sexuality is not always a static thing, I won't say that my sexuality is set in stone for all my life). I do not agree with heterosexuality. It just boggles my mind how people could only like the opposite sex. However: This doesn't mean that I mistreat or bully heterosexuals. I treat them just like any other people, I just don't agree with what they're doing. 

...

Now how does that feel? Very supportive of straight people, right? No one is asking for your approval. You say that you support gay people but really, you can't support something that you don't agree with.


----------



## Hettie

[size=-2]Pandycake, don't delete your comment because you feel "too many people are getting offended". It's great that you voice your opinion, and you should be allowed to as I'm failing to see how it's causing any harm. This is a discussion thread, is it not? 

Something else to note, homosexuality has always existed. The fact that we are only just now allowing (<-I hate that word, more on that in a bit.) same-sex marriage is not in any way related to people "questioning" their sexuality. It's not like straight people all of a sudden decided they might be gay just because they would have the same rights now that they had before...Seems kind of silly, doesn't it? You don't choose who you fall in love with, nor should you have to.

I really hate saying we "allow" people to do something now, mostly because in my opinion "allowing" someone a basic human right is still showing control over it. I still have a very hard time understanding why any of this was a "problem" to begin with, similar to back when interracial marriage and couples were a "problem". I just don't get why people are denied their rights as human beings to love by other human beings.[/size]


----------



## shunishu

Dasbreenee said:


> Could what I'm explaining be some "branch" of asexual? Or am I just being odd?


it's all a bit....
but yeah, does it really matter, you are in a relationship. just cause you wonder or have thoughts, doesnt mean you need to explore them to reach fulfillment. (unless you do, but then you'd know )
don't sabotage a functioning relationship cause you wonder about things that you're not sure about.
there is such a thing as homoromantic asexuality of course.. it sounds tho, that you are generally more attracted to masculinity and look for these things in partners.. there are very masculine girls out there tho, as well as feminine boys and everything in between. so you can find the things you seek anywhere and you might find new things you didnt know you like, in different people.
it's ok, that you're open, but i'd say dont overthink it too much or try to rush it. it's not relevant for your current situation, so you shouldnt waste time on it. you say you dont think you could be intimate with a female person, but that might change, if you ever fall in love with someone, or of course you might see that your thoughts were right and you are asexual with females (there are plenty asexual women in this world tho, so no worries... also strong female friendships are a beautiful thing, no? it doesnt always have to be a relationship or based on attraction to be meaningful.).. in the end only you decide what kind of mashup of sexuality works for you and will in the future, your views might change. people change , peoples likes and dislikes change. 
but as you said, just be mindful how you word things, especially when talking with or about transgender people about your specific attractions and exclusions, that can be touchy easy and might hurt some people. just be empathetic and not too blunt, ok? ^^

things like 'masc only' etc are generally rather frowned upon too..

- - - Post Merge - - -

@pandycake: it's ok, we're just trying to make you see, how these things might affect others, so maybe you can understand things more and maybe come to accept it. we're all just trying to coexist and learn from each other.


----------



## kaitastrophe

Maybe I worded my post wrong.
I (think I) said that even though this is a LGBTQA thread and im heterosexual, Im still ok with LGBTQA people. Its not like they're 'different' than me or any other heterosexual/LGBTQA person. The only thing thats different is their sexuality. 
Maybe saying that I dont 'agree' with it isnt the right thing to say.
Let me put it this way:
My parents and my church have always told me its wrong and its a sin, but to me its never been 'wrong' or a 'sin', and I dont think LGBTQA people will go to Hell either, like my church has said. 
Maybe my parents and my church doesnt agree with it, but im perfectly ok with it.
I dont like how people say 'I dont like THEM' or 'THEY are disgusting' like if they're some kind of disgusting creature.
You have ever right to love anyone, no matter their sex/gender, and Im glad America finally noticed that and allowed gay marriage. 
Phew. Is that better?


----------



## shunishu

moving on....


-
-


----------



## Hettie

[size=-2]Wow, I never knew I needed that song to wake up until now.[/size]


----------



## brutalitea

Dasbreenee said:


> I personally actually have a genuine question that may sound rude. But don't mean for it to.
> But, I do have a boyfriend. But I feel like I've been someone questioning my sexuality lately. Though we've been together for over 3 years. I love him, and I do enjoy being with him intimately.
> But at the same time, I've thought about it and I feel like I could love a female (I am female) but I just couldn't be with them intimately. I've also felt this way about transgenders. I have a close friend who is FtM and my friend dates him. Before she started dating him, I thought to myself that I could be with someone who is transgender, but not intimately. As for transsexual, if they were FtM transexual, I feel like I actually could be with them intimately because they are physically male. I'm sure this all sounds awful because I'm saying basically "I could never have sex with a girl" but obviously there are people who are asexual, who normally, in most cases, don't have sexual desires but do have love for the person they are with. Could what I'm explaining be some "branch" of asexual? Or am I just being odd?
> 
> 
> Edit- just to add, I have kissed females and have no problem with it. It's just the intimate portion I feel would bother me. I suppose I would never know until I try, but I'm engaged XD



Then you're heterosexual and biromantic (or panromantic, whichever). It is very much possible to have different sexual and romantic orientations, I know of several people including myself who are like that.


----------



## Finnian

My super, super bigoted, self-righteous cousins are now trying to use the word "bigot" against the gays!
WOW! 
My stupid 16 year old cousin posted probably the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Why does she think her opinion holds any weight? She's 16 for Christ's sake. The video didn't even include sources. Seriously?
Don't internet fight if you're a freaking idiot.
I cited back with sources on how Gay marriage is great for both the economy and family.
WOW!

I generally stay away from Facebook fighting, but not when it's my own family, you know?
I should start pointing out all her logical fallacies. But I won't, because I'm a better person than she is.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Tae said:


> Then you're heterosexual and biromantic (or panromantic, whichever). It is very much possible to have different sexual and romantic orientations, I know of several people including myself who are like that.



Yep.
I'm heterosexual, but panromantic and engaged to another woman!!!


----------



## radical6

am i lesbian? am i bi? who knows! i just want to stop liking men


----------



## Finnian

justice said:


> am i lesbian? am i bi? who knows! i just want to stop liking men



But men are mucho hott.
WILL THIS CHANGE YOUR MIND!?


Spoiler:  mmm


----------



## radical6

those 2 men are ugly


----------



## Finnian

justice said:


> those 2 men are ugly



I know, I saved the best for last.


----------



## Beardo

I'm so thirsty

Also I'm low-key lesbian crushing on my friend :/


----------



## Saaaakisuchan

what is LGBTQA?


----------



## Paramore

CuteLuka<3 said:


> what is LGBTQA?



Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Asexual


----------



## Dasbreenee

Paramore said:


> Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Asexual



I thought the Q was for questioning?


----------



## shunishu

Dasbreenee said:


> I thought the Q was for questioning?



actually there are several letters double-used and the list goes on longer.. it doesnt stop at lgtbqia, google&wikipedia will help.


----------



## kaitastrophe

Hey, maybe America allowed gay marriage, but its not over yet! WHAT ABOUT THE TRANS COMMUNITY?


----------



## brutalitea

Dasbreenee said:


> I thought the Q was for questioning?



It is. "queer" is actually a slur, like the f word, so it's not part of the acronym (or at least it shouldn't be).


----------



## shunishu

Tae said:


> It is. "queer" is actually a slur, like the f word, so it's not part of the acronym (or at least it shouldn't be).


ehm no, queer is not a slur. people identify as queer. it's a thing. just cause some people use it in a generalized way to demean others doesnt mean it doesnt exist. 
also  used in genderqueer


----------



## Moddie

Tae said:


> It is. "queer" is actually a slur, like the f word, so it's not part of the acronym (or at least it shouldn't be).



Queer is apart of the acronym and so is questioning. Queer is still occasionally used as slur, but as a community we've been reclaiming it since the 70's and as such many people identify with the term. It has just as much right to be a part of the acronym as any other of the letters.


----------



## Finnian

I love this whole "I might be straight, but you can be gay. That's okay with me."
I don't need your approval??

And the whole "Sure, I love you, and your state validated SEX PARTNER (as my cousin described it)! But you're still gonna burn in hell!" mentality that all of Utah has.

I hate this because I'm totally being a martyr and I know I am.
And I keep finding myself saying mean as hell things like, "Oh yes, you poor straight white oppressed person."

- - - Post Merge - - -

My sister told me that the Bible was put out there by Satan to test people on humility and we're all failing miserably.


----------



## shunishu

Finnian said:


> "Oh yes, you poor straight white oppressed person."
> My sister told me that the Bible was put out there by Satan to test people on humility and we're all failing miserably.



you forgot to add cis. (although i'm getting annoyed by cis people overusing this word in recent years, cause it's trendy. it takes language away from people who really, really need it to survive.)
i do agree with the rest too.
i'm sick and of having to constantly justify my existence and being forced to explain myself and having to educate the people who are oppressing me/us. it's like every day, constantly, everywhere and just by being.
_it shouldn't be the job of the oppressed to educate their oppressor. it's the job of the oppressor to educate themselves, use their brain and not be ignorant. _(someone famous said that but can't remember.)


----------



## Aradai

Finnian said:


> I love this whole "I might be straight, but you can be gay. That's okay with me."
> I don't need your approval??


when people do this its so annoying. like wow, thanks for being a decent person for respecting me? that doesn't give you much brownie points tbh.


----------



## himeki

Eh, I don't really see the point in romance...


----------



## Finnian

MayorEvvie said:


> Eh, I don't really see the point in romance...



To be totally honest, romance is so cheesy and makes me so uncomfortable.
So does intimacy, actually. Lol.


----------



## boujee

This thread gives me headaches sometimes.


----------



## Finnian

shunishu said:


> you forgot to add cis. (although i'm getting annoyed by cis people overusing this word in recent years, cause it's trendy. it takes language away from people who really, really need it to survive.)
> i do agree with the rest too.
> i'm sick and of having to constantly justify my existence and being forced to explain myself and having to educate the people who are oppressing me/us. it's like every day, constantly, everywhere and just by being.
> _it shouldn't be the job of the oppressed to educate their oppressor. it's the job of the oppressor to educate themselves, use their brain and not be ignorant. _(someone famous said that but can't remember.)



Oh and Straight Pride? Like, f off guys.
I should really get off of facebook. All my cousins are these douche nozzle super Mormon people who couldn't form a thought without asking God first.
There I go being a martyr again!!

And there is no queer representation.
My mom was saying how there's always a token gay person in a show and it's super irritating, so my fiance butted in and said something like, "Well, it's helped me a lot. Seeing another lesbian on TV helped me come to terms with myself and know I'm not alone."
Needless to say, my mom is all for gay representation on TV now. (My mom and grandma are super cool. My mom was the black sheep though, so she gets it.)


----------



## Aradai

i also hate it when straight/cis people call themselves allies. i dont think you need a special title to show that you're ok with being around the LGBTQA+ community honestly.


----------



## Finnian

Gamzee said:


> This thread gives me headaches sometimes.



Just punch yourself in the head. Rub some dirt on it. Have a dog lick it.
Hah! I'm so freaking funny.
That was all def a joke. ;v;

- - - Post Merge - - -



Aradai said:


> i also hate it when straight/cis people call themselves allies. i dont think you need a special title to show that you're ok with being around the LGBTQA+ community honestly.



I'm gonna disagree with this one.
I really appreciate allies. My sister is an ally and fights like crazy for me and my fiance.
Before I met my fiance, I identified as cis/straight and fought endlessly for my transgendered best friend.

I just don't like it when people make a point of saying stuff like, "Sure, Im straight and that won't change, but your free to be gay!"


----------



## shunishu

MayorEvvie said:


> Eh, I don't really see the point in romance...


that's ok you don't have to. 
others might tho.


----------



## Aradai

Finnian said:


> I'm gonna disagree with this one.
> I really appreciate allies. My sister is an ally and fights like crazy for me and my fiance.
> Before I met my fiance, I identified as cis/straight and fought endlessly for my transgendered best friend.
> 
> I just don't like it when people make a point of saying stuff like, "Sure, Im straight and that won't change, but your free to be gay!"


whoops i think i made an error in my post :0
those are good people. the kind of "allies" im talking about are, for example, the ones who think that after gay marriage was legalized in the entire U.S., that's it, and the fight has been "won". there's a lot more to do after that?? or the allies who support the LGB part but not the T part :/
your sister is kind hearted though.


----------



## boujee

Finnian said:


> Just punch yourself in the head. Rub some dirt on it. Have a dog lick it.
> Hah! I'm so freaking funny.
> That was all def a joke. ;v;



Sounded like you were trying too hard on this one bud.


I'm too stress to date. Money is my only love and support.


----------



## shunishu

Gamzee said:


> I'm too stress to date. Money is my only love and support.


^^ <3

and yeah got a headache from all this too so i understand.
hope the stress in your life gets less soon!


----------



## shunishu

quay dash
trans rapper slaying it


----------



## boujee

shunishu said:


> quay dash
> trans rapper slaying it



My wife


Spoiler










Trans model, Geena Rocero


----------



## shunishu

she's beautiful!


----------



## Bjork

hello friends im gay


----------



## shunishu

Bjork said:


> hello friends im gay


hi mom  welcome


----------



## Flowergender

Finnian said:


> Just punch yourself in the head. Rub some dirt on it. Have a dog lick it.
> Hah! I'm so freaking funny.
> That was all def a joke. ;v;
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I'm gonna disagree with this one.
> I really appreciate allies. My sister is an ally and fights like crazy for me and my fiance.
> Before I met my fiance, I identified as cis/straight and fought endlessly for my transgendered best friend.
> 
> I just don't like it when people make a point of saying stuff like, "Sure, Im straight and that won't change, but your free to be gay!"



I agree with you both, I don't personally think you need a fancy title to show support, I merely think that you are a decent human being. But at the same time it's great to see people standing up for those who need it, and if they actually support you and what not then I don't have so much of an issue of them calling themselves allies, just chill and don't act like you're doing this super great thing that everyone should praise you for. It's called human decency and you shouldn't be doing it for the praise, but because regardless of sexuality, gender, etc. we're all people.


----------



## radical6

shunishu said:


> ehm no, queer is not a slur. people identify as queer. it's a thing. just cause some people use it in a generalized way to demean others doesnt mean it doesnt exist.
> also  used in genderqueer



... Queer is a slur. I have been called a nasty Queer. I don't care if you use it for YOURSELF, but do not call others it. Same thing can be said for the word Oriental. Some people consider it a slur, some do not. You wouldn't call all Asian people the word Oriental, would you? 

To be honest, I feel LGBT is an already good enough ancoynm. I use to be for LGBTQIA/MOGAI, but MOGAI is an awful term and LGBTQIA is okay. 

Also, is it me or why are trans women models naked? I mean models are naked sometimes, but I've never seen trans women models dressed besides Lavene cox and Janet Mock. Its just something I've noticed.


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

justice said:


> To be honest, I feel LGBT is an already good enough ancoynm. I use to be for LGBTQIA/MOGAI, but MOGAI is an awful term and LGBTQIA is okay.



I'm sure this has been explained before, but what's MOGAI?


----------



## radical6

TheCreeperHugz said:


> I'm sure this has been explained before, but what's MOGAI?



An alternative to LGBT. I personally don't like it, and I feel like it will never gain enough popularity to replace LGBT.

MOGAI = marginalized orientations, gender alignments, and intersex

I don't like the label because 1) Intersex people have different problems. Like yes i know theyre in LGBTQIA. But it feels weird grouping them with us when they might be for example, straight/allosexual/etc. I feel like their issues need to faced individually.

Second, it allows anyone who thinks they are "marginalized" to fall under the label. Like kinksters. They may be cishet, but they're into kinky stuff so they fall under MOGAI technically.

Also heard it was coined by a dude who groups us with pedos? Gross.


----------



## shunishu

@_justice_: if you read my post you'd see that i acknowledged the misuse of that term by others.
however, please don't deny lgbt history and make unfounded wild comparisons.
you're basically giving up empowering language, taking it away from oppressed people and handing it over to the oppressor, making it easier for them to be oppressive and shame others.
erasure is worse than ignorance to be honest.


----------



## kaitastrophe

Hmmm, so today I was talking with my friend and we were talking about couples and all that stuff, and she said she's asexual... What does that mean? Sorry if this was answered before. she told me she didnt know what it means so im confused.
(Why would you call yourseld something you dont know the meaning to??)


----------



## badcrumbs

pandycake said:


> Hmmm, so today I was talking with my friend and we were talking about couples and all that stuff, and she said she's asexual... What does that mean? Sorry if this was answered before. she told me she didnt know what it means so im confused.
> (Why would you call yourseld something you dont know the meaning to??)



"the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity."

She may know the meaning, but not how to express it.


----------



## boujee

pandycake said:


> Hmmm, so today I was talking with my friend and we were talking about couples and all that stuff, and she said she's asexual... What does that mean? Sorry if this was answered before. she told me she didnt know what it means so im confused.
> (Why would you call yourseld something you dont know the meaning to??)



LOL, that must be annoying. I remember this one PERSON who said they were bigender but the way they describe it was "what".
They told me that at night, they turn to a "depress horni guy who wants affection". I mean, people can be whatever they want, their life not mines but if you state your something and have this type of explanation, I'm going to judge. Sometimes I think people think they're a certain orietation base of yaoi.


----------



## shunishu

tbh that's not cool. not everyone is able to be articulate themselves or know how to even explain. also maybe they don't want to explain. maybe they were annoyed that you'd even ask.
you can't expect everyone to always have explanations ready.
but could of course also be that they used a wrong term, cause they weren't sure or got something mixed up. anyway


----------



## Mango

shunishu said:


> ehm no, queer is not a slur. people identify as queer. it's a thing. just cause some people use it in a generalized way to demean others doesnt mean it doesnt exist.
> also  used in genderqueer



q***r is a slur that a lot of people including myself dont like to use


----------



## shunishu

only you decide what you identify with or not, that's ok. but dont put down other people's choice of selfdefinition, history and thoughts please.
this conversation is getting repetitive and clearly noone is willing to do the tiniest bit of research, so.. -_-


----------



## Hettie

[size=-2]Has any one ever seen ERBH? I wanted to share the one with Freddie Mercury as I think he's pretty relevant to the community. Also it's Freddie Mercury.





[/size]


----------



## Bowie

Hettie said:


> [size=-2]Has any one ever seen ERBH? I wanted to share the one with Freddie Mercury as I think he's pretty relevant to the community. Also it's Freddie Mercury.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [/size]



I love Freddy so much. Frank is also great, of course.


----------



## JellyDitto

This thread gave me cancer.


----------



## radical6

shunishu said:


> only you decide what you identify with or not, that's ok. but dont put down other people's choice of selfdefinition, history and thoughts please.
> this conversation is getting repetitive and clearly noone is willing to do the tiniest bit of research, so.. -_-



no one is saying you cant use it for yourself
just dont call other people queer. dont call other people slur. i know my research. i know the history. that doesnt change anything. dont call everyone a slur.


----------



## shunishu

noone said anything about using it to define others, clearly you didnt research.
don't project on others. opinions are not facts.
soooooo voil?, good day.


----------



## CreakySilver

Err, this thread has gotten a bit off-topic...

Anyway, I'm bi, but usually I'm not attracted to someone until I get to know them (and I like them).


----------



## radical6

shunishu said:


> noone said anything about using it to define others, clearly you didnt research.
> don't project on others. opinions are not facts.
> soooooo voil?, good day.



What are you even saying? You said don't put down people's choices of self identification??? Where did anyone ever say "Don't call yourself genderqueer coz queer is a slur?" 

I know people reclaim the term. Cool. But some people still consider it a slur? Just because someone reclaims it doesn't change the fact its a slur? Black people reclaimed the N word, doesn't mean its not a slur anymore. Queer is a touchy subject. My rule is - use it on others who are okay with it, dont use it for everyone. Why are you being so overly defensive for no reason? Jfc

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also since i swear this thread is always talking about the Q slur, good news:

I found out this cute girl is gay so im like =) =) =) would join journalism just for her but i have too much on my plate lol. 

Also i saw someone make pride flags for dumb bs stuff as usual but i saw a poly flag and one question: Why do poly flags have the pi symbol on them. What does pi have to do with being poly


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

justice said:


> Also i saw someone make pride flags for dumb bs stuff as usual but i saw a poly flag and one question: Why do poly flags have the pi symbol on them. What does pi have to do with being poly



Just went and looked this up, apparently pi is also the first letter of the greek word poly (*πολύ*).


----------



## shunishu

justice said:


> Why are you being so overly defensive for no reason? Jfc


"oooh nurse"


----------



## Akimari

1 - The Q word is totally a slur. Sorry I don't make the rules.
2 - I think I'm bisexual? I've kissed a girl before. We were both in a institution for suicide attempts and we were roommates and then we kissed. Woot. I wouldn't mind dating a girl but I've only officially dated guys, so...


----------



## radical6

Then why did the lesbian flag have a battle axe im laughing what the hell who designs these flags


----------



## boujee

Can anyone explain to me what nonbinary is? I want a good explanation not some sht.


----------



## Alice

Gamzee said:


> Can anyone explain to me what nonbinary is? I want a good explanation not some sht.



What it sounds like. Not by the numbers, not really exclusively masculine or feminine gender identities. For example: agender, the lack of a gender. Genders in between like intergender. Genderfluid, pangender, bigender, etc.


----------



## Akimari

Gamzee said:


> Can anyone explain to me what nonbinary is? I want a good explanation not some sht.



Nonbinary essentially refers to an individual whose gender identity is outside the binary genders of male and female. For example, someone who is agender and doesn't wish to identify as male or female falls outside the binary genders, therefore is nonbinary. Someone who is genderfluid would also fit this description as well, since a gender that's fluid and not a stagnant male or female also falls outside the gender binary. Bigender people are also nonbinary as their gender is associated more or less with male and female sex characteristics at the same time, therefore they don't fall into a binary male/female category either.

It's basically anyone whose gender identity isn't strictly male or strictly female. A trans female wouldn't be nonbinary since their gender is strictly female, same goes for a trans male. You get what I'm saying?


----------



## boujee

Akimari said:


> Nonbinary essentially refers to an individual whose gender identity is outside the binary genders of male and female. For example, someone who is agender and doesn't wish to identify as male or female falls outside the binary genders, therefore is nonbinary. Someone who is genderfluid would also fit this description as well, since a gender that's fluid and not a stagnant male or female also falls outside the gender binary. Bigender people are also nonbinary as their gender is associated more or less with male and female sex characteristics at the same time, therefore they don't fall into a binary male/female category either.
> 
> It's basically anyone whose gender identity isn't strictly male or strictly female. A trans female wouldn't be nonbinary since their gender is strictly female, same goes for a trans male. You get what I'm saying?



Claps for you to being able to be the first to explain but at the same time, no.
I'm pretty blunt when it comes to learning new "things", so please bare with me if I sound rude. Can you explain the association of gender that contributes to being nonbinary. If they were born female and later states that their nonbinary, how would that work? If they have female parts, I simply ignore that and see them as "insert name"?
Also need help with they/them pronouns, I would ask questions saying that this pronoun mean multiple people but they would just comment saying "it's just pronouns". 

Oh I have lot more questions to ask but I guess I shouldn't care that much or think that much into it.


----------



## Bowie

Whenever I don't feel confident in myself fashionably, I look at images of Tilda Swinton and I am reminded that I could pull off a skirt just as much as she can pull off a suit and tie.


----------



## Cam1

Gamzee said:


> Claps for you to being able to be the first to explain but at the same time, no.
> I'm pretty blunt when it comes to learning new "things", so please bare with me if I sound rude. Can you explain the association of gender that contributes to being nonbinary. If they were born female and later states that their nonbinary, how would that work? If they have female parts, I simply ignore that and see them as "insert name"?
> Also need help with they/them pronouns, I would ask questions saying that this pronoun mean multiple people but they would just comment saying "it's just pronouns".
> 
> Oh I have lot more questions to ask but I guess I shouldn't care that much or think that much into it.


Well, you are assuming sex and gender are the same thing. Sex is strictly male or female (the odd occasion of both, I forget what it is called), based on the body parts you are born with. Gender includes Trans, Nonbinary genders, etc. You are born with both, just as you are born with your sexuality. Your sex could be female, whereas your gender could be Trans Male. It is very confusing.

They/Them pronouns are basically used for people who dont feel comfortable using he/him or she/her pronouns, those who feel they are in between (Nonbinary). I agree that it sounds like plural pronouns, but its just the way things are.


----------



## brutalitea

Gamzee said:


> Claps for you to being able to be the first to explain but at the same time, no.
> I'm pretty blunt when it comes to learning new "things", so please bare with me if I sound rude. Can you explain the association of gender that contributes to being nonbinary. If they were born female and later states that their nonbinary, how would that work? If they have female parts, I simply ignore that and see them as "insert name"?
> Also need help with they/them pronouns, I would ask questions saying that this pronoun mean multiple people but they would just comment saying "it's just pronouns".
> 
> Oh I have lot more questions to ask but I guess I shouldn't care that much or think that much into it.



The historian in me would like to point out that "they" was originally a singular pronoun. You can look at the wikipedia page "singular they" for more info.


----------



## boujee

Going to always make assumptions, such a headache, basically:

Sex = male and female

Gender = masculine and feminine

So in essence:

Sex refers to biological differences; chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs.

Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine.

So in socialogical terms:
'man' = male sex+ masculine social role
'woman' = female sex + feminine social role

Nonbinary deals with the social norms that society puts on genders to act and behave a certain way(as stated above), is this WHAT you tried to say? I think I nailed it.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Tae said:


> The historian in me would like to point out that "they" was originally a singular pronoun. You can look at the wikipedia page "singular they" for more info.



never use a wikipedia to find resources


----------



## Akimari

Gamzee said:


> Claps for you to being able to be the first to explain but at the same time, no.
> I'm pretty blunt when it comes to learning new "things", so please bare with me if I sound rude. Can you explain the association of gender that contributes to being nonbinary. If they were born female and later states that their nonbinary, how would that work? If they have female parts, I simply ignore that and see them as "insert name"?
> Also need help with they/them pronouns, I would ask questions saying that this pronoun mean multiple people but they would just comment saying "it's just pronouns".
> 
> Oh I have lot more questions to ask but I guess I shouldn't care that much or think that much into it.



Please feel free to ask any questions you have, me and many others would be very happy to help. 

If someone is born with female genitalia and takes on a non-binary gender, like agender, then that means that their desired sexual characteristics also doesn't fall under simple male or female genitalia. Agender people typically prefer to have sexless sexual characteristics, as in no female OR male genitalia, and as a result their identity is one that falls outside of the gender binary. They do not identify nor desire neither male nor female characteristics, and as a result their identity falls outside of the male and female binary. 

If someone was assigned female at birth, but has a gender identity that falls outside of the male or female binaries, then it is very important for one to respect that since stating otherwise could cause immense discomfort and dysphoria in the person whom is already uncomfortable with their sex characteristics. Also, if someone says they are non-binary, it's also very polite not to ask what "parts" they have. Since non-binary folks very often experience dysphoria with their sexual characteristics, bringing up their genitalia will likely only make them feel worse. Plus, it's just a bit rude in general to bring up someone's genitals in conversation. 

People are very easily confused with they/them pronouns, so don't you worry! It's important to note that they/them can be easily accepted and used in a singular sense. For example, "I picked up my mail today, and the person in charge made me sign a paper. They were pretty rude about it." Or "Hey, is this for Alex? I think its theirs. They might need this." Or "What an amazing runner! Look at them go!" It may be a littttle bit awkward to use at first, sure, but it's likely even more awkward for someone to be referred to as pronouns that they're unhappy with or that trigger upsetting thoughts and emotions in them when it's very easy to use they/them instead.


----------



## Raviuchiha

what is "queer" exactly? like what does it mean.


----------



## Bjork

so is non binary like an umbrella term for all genders that aren't explicitly male or female?


----------



## boujee

Bjork said:


> so is non binary like an umbrella term for all genders that aren't explicitly male or female?



That's what I'm confused at, like:
*NONBINARY*
-agender
-genderfluid
-bigender


----------



## Bowie

Can't we all just agree on calling yourself whatever you want to be called and calling other people whatever they want to be called? I mean, if you want to be called queer, I'll call you queer. If you don't, I won't.


----------



## boujee

Akimari said:


> Please feel free to ask any questions you have, me and many others would be very happy to help.
> 
> If someone is born with female genitalia and takes on a non-binary gender, like agender, then that means that their desired sexual characteristics also doesn't fall under simple male or female genitalia. Agender people typically prefer to have sexless sexual characteristics, as in no female OR male genitalia, and as a result their identity is one that falls outside of the gender binary. They do not identify nor desire neither male nor female characteristics, and as a result their identity falls outside of the male and female binary.
> 
> If someone was assigned female at birth, but has a gender identity that falls outside of the male or female binaries, then it is very important for one to respect that since stating otherwise could cause immense discomfort and dysphoria in the person whom is already uncomfortable with their sex characteristics. Also, if someone says they are non-binary, it's also very polite not to ask what "parts" they have. Since non-binary folks very often experience dysphoria with their sexual characteristics, bringing up their genitalia will likely only make them feel worse. Plus, it's just a bit rude in general to bring up someone's genitals in conversation.
> 
> People are very easily confused with they/them pronouns, so don't you worry! It's important to note that they/them can be easily accepted and used in a singular sense. For example, "I picked up my mail today, and the person in charge made me sign a paper. They were pretty rude about it." Or "Hey, is this for Alex? I think its theirs. They might need this." Or "What an amazing runner! Look at them go!" It may be a littttle bit awkward to use at first, sure, but it's likely even more awkward for someone to be referred to as pronouns that they're unhappy with or that trigger upsetting thoughts and emotions in them when it's very easy to use they/them instead.



You ever seen a long post and be like "damn, I don't want to read that/ so much"
I already got a good grasp in what nonbinary is tbh.
For a agender, they just don't use characteristics that would place them under male or female(gender), such a manly, or feminine, or girly, etc etc eyc

Bigender is someone who uses both the characteristics of male and female, "oh he's pretty girly" or "she's quite tough" etc etc etc

Genderfluid, still not sure about this one. They're influence by both genders? Elaborate more on this or it'll just sound like another synonym for bigender.

And I haven't enforce unnesscary pronouns on nobinary people cause I don't have any in my social group.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Bowie said:


> Can't we all just agree on calling yourself whatever you want to be called and calling other people whatever they want to be called? I mean, if you want to be called queer, I'll call you queer. If you don't, I won't.








depends on what they want to be called and if you're comfortable in calling them whatever


----------



## Bjork

i think this is too much of a complicated subject for 10:40 PM


----------



## Bowie

Gamzee said:


> depends on what you want to be called and if you're comfortable in calling them whatever



I really just think it's silly so many people get offended by what other people choose to identify themselves as. If anything, it's quite hypocritical. I'd be fine with calling someone whatever they wanted to be called. I don't really know what my gender identity is at the moment. I'm absolutely fine with classifying as male and being male, but I also feel like I don't care either way. I mean, I could easily see myself being a cross-dresser, because I'm absolutely oblivious to gender roles, and I don't necessarily wish to associate my appearance or personality on that of any gender. I hate labels, but it would be interesting to know what this was. My sexuality isn't as complex. I feel like I could have a temporary romantic relationship with a woman. The reason I say temporary is because I could not imagine myself having a sexual relationship with a woman, and sexuality is something I want to experience, and I think I could only ever be happy spending my life with a man, both romantically and sexually.




Bjork said:


> i think this is too much of a complicated subject for 10:40 PM



Agreed. Also, I love Bj?rk.


----------



## Bjork

Bowie said:


> Agreed. Also, I love Bj?rk.


she's fantastic, i have yet to determine my favorite bjork album ;-;


----------



## Bowie

Bjork said:


> she's fantastic, i have yet to determine my favorite bjork album ;-;



We should really talk about this through private messages, but I can't choose either.


----------



## boujee

Bowie said:


> I really just think it's silly so many people get offended by what other people choose to identify themselves as. If anything, it's quite hypocritical. I'd be fine with calling someone whatever they wanted to be called. I don't really know what my gender identify is at the moment. I'm absolutely fine with classifying as male and being male, but I also feel like I don't care either way. I mean, I could easily see myself being a cross-dresser, because I'm absolutely oblivious to gender roles, and I don't necessarily wish to associate my appearance or personality on that of any gender. I hate labels, but it would be interesting to know what this was. My sexuality isn't as complex. I feel like I could have a temporary romantic relationship with a woman. The reason I say temporary is because I could not imagine myself having a sexual relationship with a woman, and sexuality is something I want to experience, and I think I could only ever be happy spending my life with a man, both romantically and sexually.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Agreed. Also, I love Bj?rk.



Firstly, I want to say, how cute.
I'm not offended by anything, I haven't been insulted. Maybe that's the type of tone you're getting base of my typing but I'm pretty fine actually. If I were to describe how I was feeling, it would be curious cause I'm asking questions. It's not "mean" questions but I did stated that I will be blunt and may come off rude. I do find it quite adorable that you think I'm being hyprocritcal, like what? Also your lil background you did of yourself was adorable also. This was cute u vu/


----------



## Bowie

Gamzee said:


> Firstly, I want to say, how cute.
> I'm not offended by anything, I haven't been insulted. Maybe that's the type of tone you're getting base of my typing but I'm pretty fine actually. If I were to describe how I was feeling, it would be curious cause I'm asking questions. It's not "mean" questions but I did stated that I will be blunt and may come off rude. I do find it quite adorable that you think I'm being hyprocritcal, like what? Also your lil background you did of yourself was adorable also. This was cute u vu/



Wait, what? No! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean you were being hypocritical! I was just talking about in general, since everyone seemed to be going on about if it was right or wrong to identify as queer. I'm so sorry!


----------



## boujee

Depends on the individual and the delivery. I thought it was a slur used for the gay community, so it depends. It's not either good or bad but at a neutral stance. 

And no need to apologize, it was a misunderstanding. I'm learning new things, so that's good ig.


----------



## Akimari

Gamzee said:


> You ever seen a long post and be like "damn, I don't want to read that/ so much"
> I already got a good grasp in what nonbinary is tbh.
> For a agender, they just don't use characteristics that would place them under male or female(gender), such a manly, or feminine, or girly, etc etc eyc
> 
> Bigender is someone who uses both the characteristics of male and female, "oh he's pretty girly" or "she's quite tough" etc etc etc



Sorry for being elaborate I guess...

I honestly disagree with the notion that a bigender person is someone who's both "girly" and "tough", because a characteristic such as "tough" isn't strictly a male characteristic, but rather it's been socialized to be associated with males, just as being into princesses and what not is socialized to be associated with females. I have some manly characteristics in my attitude, I'm a bit gruff and into things that males may typically like, but I also have a lot of girly characteristics, like how shyness is typically associated with girls. I also like girly things like the color pink and magical girl shows. However, simply having characteristics that are deemed "male" or "female" does not define your gender, so someone being manly and girly doesn't mean they're bigender.

Bigender typically refers to someone who is or desires to be both the male and female sex, which can also mean that the bigender individual also desires both male and female sex characteristics. Bigender =/= liking stuff socialized for boys and girls. All of this applies to agender as well, as agender individuals typically do not identify as either sex nor do they want any sexual characteristics. It has nothing to do with their interests. An agender individual can be assigned female, like things associated with females, and still be agender if they feel that their assigned gender does not line up with what they truly feel they are.

Genderfluid also does not equal bigender. A bigender individual is someone who is both sexes at the same time and desires both of those sexual characteristics at the sametime. A genderfluid individual is someone whose gender isn't stagnant. Their gender identity may switch from them being male, to them being agender, to them being female, etc., whilst bigender people are strictly male and female identifying without a switch between them. 

I know this is long but it's not something I feel can be explained with smaller paragraphs.


----------



## boujee

Akimari said:


> Sorry for being elaborate I guess...
> 
> I honestly disagree with the notion that a bigender person is someone who's both "girly" and "tough", because a characteristic such as "tough" isn't strictly a male characteristic, but rather it's been socialized to be associated with males, just as being into princesses and what not is socialized to be associated with females. I have some manly characteristics in my attitude, I'm a bit gruff and into things that males may typically like, but I also have a lot of girly characteristics, like how shyness is typically associated with girls. I also like girly things like the color pink and magical girl shows. However, simply having characteristics that are deemed "male" or "female" does not define your gender, so someone being manly and girly doesn't mean they're bigender.
> 
> Bigender typically refers to someone who is or desires to be both the male and female sex, which can also mean that the bigender individual also desires both male and female sex characteristics. Bigender =/= liking stuff socialized for boys and girls. All of this applies to agender as well, as agender individuals typically do not identify as either sex nor do they want any sexual characteristics. It has nothing to do with their interests. An agender individual can be assigned female, like things associated with females, and still be agender if they feel that their assigned gender does not line up with what they truly feel they are.
> 
> Genderfluid also does not equal bigender. A bigender individual is someone who is both sexes at the same time and desires both of those sexual characteristics at the sametime. A genderfluid individual is someone whose gender isn't stagnant. Their gender identity may switch from them being male, to them being agender, to them being female, etc., whilst bigender people are strictly male and female identifying without a switch between them.
> 
> I know this is long but it's not something I feel can be explained with smaller paragraphs.



No you were elaborate, I just have a short attention span and I lose interest real quick, that's why I made that comment.
Im getting a grasp of it, I guess.


----------



## radical6

So uh, picked up this book about this girl finding her best friend's murderer. Didn't expect it to be about lesbians.
But they were in love. And were gay. And oh man.
It was beautifully written.. With flashbacks letting us know more about the dead best friend. And tbh, if it wasn't 2am RN, I'd be crying about it. Because it captures life of gay teens very well. Unless you don't do drugs. Then maybe not.

It's called Far From You btw if you're interested.


----------



## Ashtot

justice said:


> Unless you don't do drugs. Then maybe not.



this made me lol


----------



## Vida

I feel so ashamed for liking girls.

I used to be OK with my sexual orientation but since I came out to my mother (who has been acting weird since then), I feel so bad about it. Ugh. I should have never told her to begin with. I thought I could trust her because she said that she supported queer people but apparently, when your own daughter is queer, it's not so OK anymore. I hate hypocrites.


----------



## Hettie

Vida said:


> I feel so ashamed for liking girls.
> 
> I used to be OK with my sexual orientation but since I came out to my mother (who has been acting weird since then), I feel so bad about it. Ugh. I should have never told her to begin with. I thought I could trust her because she said that she supported queer people but apparently, when your own daughter is queer, it's not so OK anymore. I hate hypocrites.



[size=-2]Sorry that you're going through that.  But never feel ashamed of who you are. There's definitely no excuse for your mom to feel the way she does, but I will say to you and to others try to understand that as a parent, they have a certain mindset/picture of their child that they've had since you were just a little potato. It doesn't make it right that she's acting weird around you, but I'm sure she still loves you very much. It might just take her a little while to get over the set image she has of you. I would say just keep being yourself and show her that you are who you are, and you love her, but maybe talk to her about it; Say exactly what you said here, that you thought you could trust her with the information you gave, and that you were hoping she would react better. [/size]


----------



## peachies

_hey! i've been seeing people equate gender to sex but they aren't the same thing. gender is an idea, just because someone is a certain gender (ex: agender) doesn't mean they want to have no sexual organs or do not want to be sexual BECAUSE nonbinary genders do not influence your sexual organs. if somebody discovered they were agender, that doesn't mean that they want to change or to have no sexual organs...it means that they feel a lack of gender mentally and spiritually.  does that make sense? gender is spiritual and mental, while sex is physical. they are both very flexible things but they are not the same! _​


----------



## Mango

peachies said:


> _hey! i've been seeing people equate gender to sex but they aren't the same thing. gender is an idea, just because someone is a certain gender (ex: agender) doesn't mean they want to have no sexual organs. does that make sense? gender is spiritual and mental, while sex is physical. they are both very flexible things but they are not the same!_​



yea it makes sense like i used to identify as agender but i was fine with my sex it doesnt matter


----------



## Perri

Both a gay and bisexual friend of mine have asked me what I identify as before the end of school. First off, I'm a cis female. I've thought about being a male or a demi-guy/girl, but nonetheless I love being a female. I honestly can't say I fit with any label when it comes to my sexuality. Even questioning or straight. When I tried to explain this to them, I remember them telling me to identify as a bisexual and see where that takes me. My family and I are huge allies and my former school and new school have GSAs. I've only been attracted to guys in terms of certain people. Labels do not concerning me, whether they're placed on me BY me or not. I could care less if someone things I'm a lesbian. Being one doesn't dictate anything other than who I like. I'm an ally to all, and that's the only thing that matters to other people.


----------



## boujee

I do love how certain things are specfically towards me but instead of being more direct, it's the complete opposite. I also hate that "down with cis" tag, that's annoying. But anyways, I been figure out the concept of what the nonbinary term was so that was pretty useless to re-explain but thank you??? I also don't take these things seriously, people constantly change everyday, what you believe you are now can be entirely different years later, so no biggie brah.


----------



## Hettie

Gamzee said:


> I do love how certain things are specfically towards me but instead of being more direct, it's the complete opposite. I also hate that "down with cis" tag, that's annoying. But anyways, I been figure out the concept of what the nonbinary term was so that was pretty useless to re-explain but thank you??? I also don't take these things seriously, people constantly change everyday, what you believe you are now can be entirely different years later, so no biggie brah.



[size=-2]If you weren't quoted, it probably wasn't directed towards you. But if it was, it doesn't really show unless you've had discussion or encounters with the person outside this forum. People are allowed to post repeat answers to questions others may have asked; this thread as 332 pages and is just tedious to sort through.

I also don't understand the 'down with cis' tag, unless I'm missing a joke or meme or something. Not sure what it's implying or if it's supposed to be ironic/satirical.[/size]


----------



## radical6

the down with cis is a joke. there was a post on tumblr where someone said that he and his friend were on a bus full of trans people with t shirts saying down with cis. he then said he and his friend were beaten by everyone on the bus and sent to the hospital


----------



## boujee

Hettie said:


> [size=-2]If you weren't quoted, it probably wasn't directed towards you. But if it was, it doesn't really show unless you've had discussion or encounters with the person outside this forum. People are allowed to post repeat answers to questions others may have asked; this thread as 332 pages and is just tedious to sort through.
> 
> I also don't understand the 'down with cis' tag, unless I'm missing a joke or meme or something. Not sure what it's implying or if it's supposed to be ironic/satirical.[/size]



I was discussing this topic awhile back, most recently actually if you were to click back a few pages. I don't believe someone will review my response and go back within those "332" pages to find more references to explain their specification, that's why I stated what I said. And down with cis is just a term for people who's gender identity matches their anatomical gender at birth(joke about a guy and his friend wearing shirts called "down with cis" filled with a bus full of trans people), it's not even a joke tbh. Also where "nonbinary" sorta started(mostly on tumblr).


----------



## radical6

Gamzee said:


> I was discussing this topic awhile back, most recently actually if you were to click back a few pages. I don't believe someone will review my response and go back within those "332" pages to find more references to explain their specification, that's why I stated what I said. And down with cis is just a downgrading term for people who's gender identity matches their anatomical gender at birth, also where "nonbinary" sorta started(mostly on tumblr).



nonbinary didnt start on tumblr. there has always been people who didnt identify as a girl or a boy before the internet was even a thing. also im pretty sure before some cultures were colonized that they didnt have a strict gender binary like the western world does today.


----------



## boujee

justice said:


> nonbinary didnt start on tumblr. there has always been people who didnt identify as a girl or a boy before the internet was even a thing. also im pretty sure before some cultures were colonized that they didnt have a strict gender binary like the western world does today.



The term surfaced, I'm not saying the word didn't exist but tumblr is a mainstream site so ofc it'll pop up there. That's why people were like "THERE'S A WORD FROM THIS". You second sentence...eh?


----------



## peachies

_tbh, i've always thought that the "down with cis" joke was hilarious. it isn't hurting anyone, i don't think._​


----------



## radical6

Gamzee said:


> The term surfaced, I'm not saying the word didn't exist but tumblr is a mainstream site so ofc it'll pop up there. That's why people were like "THERE'S A WORD FROM THIS". You second sentence...eh?



bad wording, im tired but

before cultures were colonized by europeans other indigenous cultures didnt have gender like we know today


----------



## Ashtot

peachies said:


> _tbh, i've always thought that the "down with cis" joke was hilarious. it isn't hurting anyone, i don't think._​



its not always a joke lol, that's the problem


----------



## boujee

justice said:


> bad wording, im tired but
> 
> before cultures were colonized by europeans other indigenous cultures didnt have gender like we know today



that's nice


----------



## peachies

_when is "down with cis" not a joke? _​


----------



## peachies

_thanks for that enlightening response. 
♥♥♥_​


----------



## boujee

peachies said:


> _thanks for that enlightening response.
> ♥♥♥_​



anytime

- - - Post Merge - - -



peachies said:


> _when is "down with cis" not a joke? _​



when lives are taken away
when people lives are in danger
idk, lots of things if you put your mind to it


----------



## Sugilite

Gamzee said:


> anytime
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> when lives are taken away
> when people lives are in danger
> idk, lots of things if you put your mind to it



one more for the people in the back


----------



## peachies

_i truly doubt that cis people are "put in danger" or have their life "taken away" because they're cis..i actually looked it up and i saw no hate crimes BUT i did find examples of trans people experiencing hate crimes.
x x x x
but, again, nothing on hate crimes against cis people with the reason being that they're cis._​


----------



## boujee

peachies said:


> _i truly doubt that cis people are "put in danger" or have their life "taken away" because they're cis..i actually looked it up and i saw no hate crimes BUT i did find examples of trans people experiencing hate crimes.
> x x x x
> but, again, nothing on hate crimes against cis people with the reason being that they're cis._​



You didn't have to do that, I seen articles myself of hate crime on trans but a lot of things can be unnoticed, especially from your  tone "a cis crime doesn't sound BELIVEABLE", and you maybe right BUT you're not. People can be spiteful regardless of their gender identity. Some CIS people get harassed by TRANS people from the term, even if they didn't do anything or vice versa. Yeah, the joke was funny cause the two guys who did that hateful act deserved it but towards people who have not, no.


----------



## peachies

ok...but the story literally wasn't real. it was made to make trans people look evil. i'm not saying that NO trans person can be mean, i'm just saying that there is literally no record of a person dying because they're cis.​


----------



## boujee

oooh such headaches
The thing is, you don't know that. People die everyday, some for reasons, unknown, etc etc etc
It can be deaths dated way way back before it's even mentioned now, like duh.


----------



## peachies

okay, cool. but we're talking about this day and age. i don't know if someone hasn't been RIGHT THIS SECOND, but from what i've researched: there is no record of cis people dying because they're cis. i am going off of the information that there is and not the information that there isn't.​


----------



## boujee

peachies said:


> okay, cool. but we're talking about this day and age. i don't know if someone hasn't been RIGHT THIS SECOND, but from what i've researched: there is no record of cis people dying because they're cis. i am going off of the information that there is and not the information that there isn't.​



EVEN MORE HEADACHES, it's like what I just said has been completely read over for you to come back and just rewrite the same thing and not understand the concept in what I'm trying to pull through. You said that you don't if any that stuff happened(cause life is unexpected, yes) but you continue in saying "RESEARCH" when in all reality, we don't know. THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS RECORDED. And for the tag of cis people dying because they're CIS, isn't what I was going for. I said if their lives were endangered, then yes not because they're CIS.


----------



## radical6

i cant believe were arguing about cisphobia in this thread


----------



## peachies

ok, lol. you win.​


----------



## Sugilite

I honestly don't see what's hard to understand in where Gamzee is coming from. WE ALL KNOW THE DOWN WITH CIS MEME was all fun and laughs. There's really no hate crimes going about to CIS people(compared to Trans) but in all reality, we don't know that. SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY SPITEFUL. 

People are dumb.


----------



## boujee

[headache]
I know what I said, I'm adding more to the responses you're bringing(which is giving me hella headaches). Take your time.


----------



## peachies

thumps up emoji.​


----------



## Sugilite

poor baby


----------



## peachies

tfw that's literally what you've been saying.​


----------



## boujee

mhm, quite steamy. Are you upset?


----------



## peachies

lol? stop trying to personally attack me.​


----------



## boujee

????
Is that the type of vibe you're getting from me?


----------



## Sugilite

Probably since she edit her post to 'lol you win'.
WHO KNOWS


----------



## peachies

yes. i feel like you are just trying to instigate.​


----------



## boujee

Me or Sug?
I'm pretty neutral tbh, I'm not expressing any type of negative emotion but I am tired and I have a lot of headaches(Ty). I'm blunt when I speak, so I really don't put any feel to it, I'm use to these type of responses but I mean no harm actually. It was a simple discussion, not sure about you.


----------



## riummi

pls stahp ;u; this is gonna go on for ages xD


----------



## Sugilite

Probably me, i can honestly care less about this forum. I might get a warning tho for being rude.


----------



## peachies

i am fine. i just don't want to waste anymore time on this discussion when you believe one thing and i believe another i'm not changing my pov and idk if you will. can we leave it at that?​


----------



## boujee

THE WHOLE POINT OF THE DISCUSSION, was to change my pov. It's kinda like when people come into this thread and talk about how they accept gays but it isn't right with their religion. THAT'S A MOMENT OF DISCUSSION, to open the mind of the other individual. I can be pretty blunt like I stated before and when I do come here and explain my thoughts(I can come off rude but I'm not mean), same with me trying to understand more of nonbinary. I asked questions and there was a discussion till I got the grasp of it.


----------



## peachies

okay. it seems like you didn't read like the other part of what i wrote.​


----------



## boujee

That whole response was towards the other half of your sentence, like I can't


----------



## peachies

okay, cool. but i don't want to discuss anymore, that was the only thing i was trying to get across in my message.​


----------



## boujee

Of the cis thing? Cool
Explain to me more about nonbinary and each term


----------



## peachies

i feel too tired to explain all of that. if you'd like: pm me and i'll get back to you tomorrow.​


----------



## boujee

Sleepy or exhausted from this? I enjoy causing some tension, a nice connection but I'll be sure to do that.


----------



## Ashtot

ur both sorta right and wrong

but it is true that it sometimes isnt a joke for some twisted ignorant people

this might be shocking for you to hear but there are ppl who think that you cant be racist to whites and that cis people should literally die because of the way they are

inb4 someone tells me this is correct and that i should kill myself


----------



## peachies

tbh, ashtot i think it was inappropriate to bring up reverse racism. and i'm only tired because i took two sleeping pills.​


----------



## Ashtot

peachies said:


> tbh, ashtot i think it was inappropriate to bring up reverse racism. and i'm only tired because i took two sleeping pills.​



its not reverse racism its simply racism

- - - Post Merge - - -

but i can see where this is going and instead of flaming hardcore like i would normally do im just going to leave


----------



## radical6

id watch sense8 since it has lesbians and trans girls and i think the director is a trans woman herself? but she was really ****ing racist to black trans women saying something like basically its black trans womens fault the rest of trans women dont have rights or something and i was just like??? wow??? its such a shame too since sense8 looked good


----------



## Perri

justice said:


> id watch sense8 since it has lesbians and trans girls and i think the director is a trans woman herself? but she was really ****ing racist to black trans women saying something like basically its black trans womens fault the rest of trans women dont have rights or something and i was just like??? wow??? its such a shame too since sense8 looked good



Wow, I didn't know this. I also had some interest to watch sense8 but this kind of turns me back...I strongly dislike racist scapegoats. Blaming someone for problems, whether it's true or not, shouldn't matter! What does matter is that you get back up and fix those problems.


----------



## Relly

It kind of annoys me when people say that you'll never change their point of view. I think that is quite an unhealthy way to live. My opinions have changed or strengthened over time from discussion, debate and having access to new information.


----------



## brutalitea

justice said:


> id watch sense8 since it has lesbians and trans girls and i think the director is a trans woman herself? but she was really ****ing racist to black trans women saying something like basically its black trans womens fault the rest of trans women dont have rights or something and i was just like??? wow??? its such a shame too since sense8 looked good



One of the founders of the LGBT movement/Pride in the US was a black trans woman (Marsha P. Johnson) so if the director really said that then she's a complete and utter moron. Johnson was a leader of the Stonewall riots (don't believe that crappy Stonewall Uprising "documentary") and spent her entire life fighting for LGBT rights. (imo, every LGBT person in the US should know about Johnson)


----------



## ThomasNLD

Relly said:


> It kind of annoys me when people say that you'll never change their point of view. I think that is quite an unhealthy way to live. My opinions have changed or strengthened over time from discussion, debate and having access to new information.



A closed mind and heart makes for a very predictable life, for many people that grants safety and happiness. Ignorance is bliss as they say.

Wisdom often comes from hardship, or atleast you could argue that matters of the heart which can make you happy, also can make you unhappy.

I do believe if you been thrown on the path of wisdom and growth, you are not likely to want to process reversed, but I believe even more in the simple principle that if you go through life with your vision purely facing forward, you have no clue what your missing out on and are destined for a happier life. 

Life is funny that way. Enrichment offers higher happiness, but also deeper sadness.  

None of this is meant in a condescending way though, I hope it doesn`t come across like that. Its just a very philosophical and psychological topic and those always trigger me to respond. The world would be a better place though if we as a species were more extravert.On the other hand, maybe the human race can`t carry that burden and we would all go insane. Liberal countries use much prozac.....

Err that was way offtopic. 
--------------------------------------------------------

I want to add only this. I saw this React video (a youtube channel) about Caytlin Jenner and saw how scared those kids were to express their opinion. That saddened me. They were very careful with their words, but they should be encouraged to speak freely, as long as it can be considered respectful and its clear opinions aren`t brought like facts. The only way to educate  people on these issues is by open debate. When someone`s true feelings on a matter stay hidden, it becomes much harder to communicate with them and pinpoint the reason(s) and often misconception(s) that person truly has.

Great example was when an interviewer confronted a black kid with the comparison towards racism. It really sparkled that kid like; "Oh wow, I never thought of it like that."
I know for sure that kids point of view was turned 180 degrees that interview. Atleast in the sense there is a deeper understanding. 
Ah well.


----------



## KarlaKGB

still lf nonbinary star companion


----------



## radical6

hey karla is back


----------



## Vida

I have a question for people who identify as transgender or genderqueer:

What made you realize that you are transgender or genderqueer?


----------



## oswaldies

Vida said:


> I have a question for people who identify as transgender or genderqueer:
> 
> What made you realize that you are transgender or genderqueer?



I always knew I was transgender .v.
just a gut feeling .v.


----------



## radical6

Vida said:


> I have a question for people who identify as transgender or genderqueer:
> 
> What made you realize that you are transgender or genderqueer?



dysphoria did


----------



## Wittle_Munchkin

I'm a questioning asexual. (possible Grey-A) I'm able to experience romantic and platonic attraction, but anything more than that makes me feel indifferent or even weird depending on who I'm dating. Sometimes it's annoying, and other times, it can really come in handy.  

I have a few questions for the asexual/grey-a people here:

1. Are you in a relationship with someone right now? 

2. If so, does your partner know that you're Asexual/Grey-a?

3. How do they feel about it? Are they understanding of it? 

4. If you're not in a relationship, would you date someone who isn't Asexual/Grey-A?

5. Lots of asexuals are stereotyped as preferring 'cake' over uhhh... suggestive physical thingies beyond kissing. (Gotta keep this SFW xD Right?) I don't like cake at all! I'd rather have sushi or BBQ ribs. What about you? 

6. What is your least favorite question that people who aren't asexual ask you? 

7. Do your parents/friends know about your orientation? 

8. Are they supportive of it? How do they show you their support?

9. How many Asexuals/Grey-A's do you know in person? 

20. Describe your dream/favorite date with someone who didn't make you feel pressured to do the physical thingies. 
Mine is walking through a clean and pretty park that has lots of trees. At night when it's cool outside. After a wonderful dinner. Snacking on frozen yogurt. Later holding hands while laying on a picnic blanket to look at the stars. Playing the acoustic guitar. 
(I recently went on this date and it was the best! ❤ I wanted to share it because y'all are awesome and friendly.)


----------



## Mango

Wittle_Munchkin said:


> I'm a questioning asexual. (possible Grey-A) I'm able to experience romantic and platonic attraction, but anything more than that makes me feel indifferent or even weird depending on who I'm dating. Sometimes it's annoying, and other times, it can really come in handy.
> 
> I have a few questions for the asexual/grey-a people here:
> 
> 1. Are you in a relationship with someone right now?
> 
> 2. If so, does your partner know that you're Asexual/Grey-a?
> 
> 3. How do they feel about it? Are they understanding of it?
> 
> 4. If you're not in a relationship, would you date someone who isn't Asexual/Grey-A?
> 
> 5. Lots of asexuals are stereotyped as preferring 'cake' over uhhh... suggestive physical thingies beyond kissing. (Gotta keep this SFW xD Right?) I don't like cake at all! I'd rather have sushi or BBQ ribs. What about you?
> 
> 6. What is your least favorite question that people who aren't asexual ask you?
> 
> 7. Do your parents/friends know about your orientation?
> 
> 8. Are they supportive of it? How do they show you their support?
> 
> 9. How many Asexuals/Grey-A's do you know in person?
> 
> 20. Describe your dream/favorite date with someone who didn't make you feel pressured to do the physical thingies.
> Mine is walking through a clean and pretty park that has lots of trees. At night when it's cool outside. After a wonderful dinner. Snacking on frozen yogurt. Later holding hands while laying on a picnic blanket to look at the stars. Playing the acoustic guitar.
> (I recently went on this date and it was the best! ❤ I wanted to share it because y'all are awesome and friendly.)



what the **** is grey-a


----------



## Ashtot

Mango said:


> what the **** is grey-a



it means u have grey hair and are asexual


----------



## Wittle_Munchkin

Mango said:


> what the **** is grey-a



Lol I wondered the same thing before reading up on it. 

When someone is a Grey-A, it means that they experience no sexual attraction (just like asexuals), _but there are exceptions._
According to Wikipedia, people who identify as a Grey-A...
- _do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes_
- _experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive_
- _experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them_
- _people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances 
_
It also says: 
_"Some people who might technically belong to the gray area choose to identify as asexual because it is easier to explain. For example, if someone has experienced sexual attraction on one or two brief, fleeting occasions in their life, they might prefer to call themselves asexual because it is not worth the bother of having to explain these one or two occasions to everyone who asks about their orientation."_ 

Orientation isn't always in black and white, and it's exactly how I identified with mine.  I'm in a grey area for sure.


----------



## inkling

ThomasNLD said:


> A closed mind and heart makes for a very predictable life, for many people that grants safety and happiness. Ignorance is bliss as they say.
> 
> Wisdom often comes from hardship, or atleast you could argue that matters of the heart which can make you happy, also can make you unhappy.
> 
> I do believe if you been thrown on the path of wisdom and growth, you are not likely to want to process reversed, but I believe even more in the simple principle that if you go through life with your vision purely facing forward, you have no clue what your missing out on and are destined for a happier life.
> 
> Life is funny that way. Enrichment offers higher happiness, but also deeper sadness.
> 
> None of this is meant in a condescending way though, I hope it doesn`t come across like that. Its just a very philosophical and psychological topic and those always trigger me to respond. The world would be a better place though if we as a species were more extravert.On the other hand, maybe the human race can`t carry that burden and we would all go insane. Liberal countries use much prozac.....
> 
> Err that was way offtopic.
> --------------------------------------------------------
> 
> I want to add only this. I saw this React video (a youtube channel) about Caytlin Jenner and saw how scared those kids were to express their opinion. That saddened me. They were very careful with their words, but they should be encouraged to speak freely, as long as it can be considered respectful and its clear opinions aren`t brought like facts. The only way to educate  people on these issues is by open debate. When someone`s true feelings on a matter stay hidden, it becomes much harder to communicate with them and pinpoint the reason(s) and often misconception(s) that person truly has.
> 
> Great example was when an interviewer confronted a black kid with the comparison towards racism. It really sparkled that kid like; "Oh wow, I never thought of it like that."
> I know for sure that kids point of view was turned 180 degrees that interview. Atleast in the sense there is a deeper understanding.
> Ah well.



Sometimes it's okay to not have anything to say. Sometimes it's okay to not know and have time to think. It's not right to put pressure on people to respond d to situations like that in the moment. Thinking g that we should know everything and know how to respond is a tool to help us interact in society on a practicsl basis. It's useful to have confidence in the th8ngs yo u do to help propel yourself forward but when it comes to thinking and "philosophy" we need less know jnowing, less and confidence and more time.

Sry.for weird grammar I'm on mobile


----------



## radical6

im asexual but i hate 99% the terms the community makes up


----------



## ThomasNLD

inkling said:


> Sometimes it's okay to not have anything to say. Sometimes it's okay to not know and have time to think. It's not right to put pressure on people to respond d to situations like that in the moment. Thinking g that we should know everything and know how to respond is a tool to help us interact in society on a practicsl basis. It's useful to have confidence in the th8ngs yo u do to help propel yourself forward but when it comes to thinking and "philosophy" we need less know jnowing, less and confidence and more time.
> 
> Sry.for weird grammar I'm on mobile



Pressure is also bad when it prehibits people from speaking. Society has become overly sensitive. Personally I feel we should work more to distinguish people who are blantantly trying to insult from people with genuine questions on difficult topics. People have the pitchforks and torches hidden under their sleeves nowadays and 9 times out of 10 its for no reason whatsoever. I feel it weakens the message you give when you do come across a serious matter in daily life or the media.  

So I definetly agree people should be able to form opinions in complete freedom, but I feel its a missed opportunity to be so hesitant to share thoughts with others, because it helps evolving and growing to a more mature and founded position.


----------



## ZekkoXCX

Sorry for the off-topic ness but i need answers
Is my mom homophobe?
Even through im a Hetero (no,i dont think being LGBT is bad,if i would,i wouldnt even posting here)i hate alot homophobic people,however as the title says
Example,one time,she was watching a movie were  one principal character was gay and when he telled his dad,his dad was angry and disappointed,her reaction was like this:
"But why?Why this is happening in the world?why we cant live happy without discrimination?"
But when my aunt went to my house with my cousin and her friends,here what happened:
Cousin:I herd that "gay" means happy
I dont remember what my aunt sayed but then:
Mom:They say gay means happy but actually,gays will be always fagg*ts
Then my aunt and her friend started laughing with her.
It was pretty incomodating heard my mom saying that,she could hate everyone but not LGBT...
So...is my mom a homophobic or is transforming in that?
EDIT:Oh,and my no one was drunk at that moment


----------



## eggs

Jetix said:


> -snip-



first, i'd like to say that yes, this is a bit off-topic... but, this thread is both for support AND discussion, so it's fine. don't worry about derailing us (even though we weren't talking about much) or anything.

second, saying f*ggot usually means that the person who said it is homophobic, but it sounds like you were surprised by your mom saying the word. does she say that word often? does she openly admit that she hates LGBTQIA people?


----------



## ZekkoXCX

I dont know
its like when shes alone she supports it
but when shes with other people she says that


----------



## OreoTerror

Hey! My mum used to always say things about me being a lesbian, silly little things like "oh you're only looking at that lingerie website to check out all the hot girls" and stuff like that.

Well, I came out to her because she just flat out asked me if I was, and I said yes, and that was that. She said I could talk to her about anything no matter what and all that stuff, and that the whole family are super accepting so I didn't need to worry about that.

So yeah, I was so stressed about coming out that I never did it but I did and it felt so good to tell someone that's one of the closest people to me I have.


----------



## ThomasNLD

Jetix said:


> I dont know
> its like when shes alone she supports it
> but when shes with other people she says that



Hmm, well that can be explained both ways, but it seems most likely she changes her position in a group, because that particular group consisting of your aunt and that friend are against it. Do you know hwat their position is for a fact?

But it could also be purely linguistic, in todays society "gay" isn`t really used as much for "happy" anymore, so maybe she just stated it puprposely or unpurposely blunt. How did she react after she said it? Did she keep making remarks or just go back to another topic?

I would think no one is closer to her then her child, so normally she would be herself most when she is with you. Unlress she thinks you are vulnerable to remarks on the subject and doesn`t want to hurt you. You can Always just flatout ask her. Your more likely to make a huge deal out of this, while it may all be just meant as a harmless prank.


----------



## Rasumii

Though I'm not gay myself, I do support you guys. Love should be for all, and congrats on being legal if you live in the U.S!


----------



## ZekkoXCX

ThomasNLD said:


> Hmm, well that can be explained both ways, but it seems most likely she changes her position in a group, because that particular group consisting of your aunt and that friend are against it. Do you know hwat their position is for a fact?
> 
> But it could also be purely linguistic, in todays society "gay" isn`t really used as much for "happy" anymore, so maybe she just stated it puprposely or unpurposely blunt. How did she react after she said it? Did she keep making remarks or just go back to another topic?
> 
> I would think no one is closer to her then her child, so normally she would be herself most when she is with you. Unlress she thinks you are vulnerable to remarks on the subject and doesn`t want to hurt you. You can Always just flatout ask her. Your more likely to make a huge deal out of this, while it may all be just meant as a harmless prank.


After my mom say that,her,my aunt and my aunt friend started laughing and they go back to another topic
And yeah,probably it was a harmless prank


----------



## Mayor London

I'm gay, and people have always thought I was a freak. Everyone's getting into relationships and all that ****, and then there's me. No first kiss, not in a relationship. Nobody I know is gay.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Mayor London said:


> I'm gay, and people have always thought I was a freak. Everyone's getting into relationships and all that ****, and then there's me. No first kiss, not in a relationship. Nobody I know is gay.



There are probably plenty of places to meet single homo.


----------



## amarylis.panda

*OKAY, MOVING ON.
*
I am 10000000000% accepting of anyone that identifies with any gender, sexuality, or lack thereof. I was so happy when marriage equality was legalized here in the US but there is still so much work that needs to be done.

In high school I struggled with my sexuality a lot. I thought I was bisexual during my sophomore year, then learned about pansexual and thought I was that in my junior and senior years. But near the end of my senior year I heard the term demisexual (for those who don't know, it means I need an emotional connection with someone before I feel sexual attraction to them) and it fit me perfectly. 

But I also think there is a difference between demiromantic and demisexual. As I contemplate these differences, I find that I may be demiromantic (only having romantic connections with those I have emotional connections with) and pansexual (sexual attraction to people regardless of any gender or lack thereof gender or anything in between). Though I haven't seen much on this subject but I believe that may be how my sexuality/romantic preferences are.

As far as gender goes, I consider myself to be somewhat genderfluid but leaning much more over to the feminine side. But some days I do feel more masculine.

I have had my fair share of relationships. I had a boyfriend my freshman year of high school and two girlfriends (at different times) during the first half of my junior year of high school. But since the latter part of my junior year and until now (I will be starting my fourth semester of college next month - fall, spring, summer, fall) I have been with my boyfriend. Nontheless my sexuality is still demiromantic or pansexual.


----------



## eggs

b0nes said:


> wow ok i was gonna ask if there were any other trans/nb people on here and the LGBTQA !SUPPORT THREAD! has been taken over by a straight guy. ****ing typical
> 
> wait is swearing banned on here orrrrr.....



there's a lot of trans/nb people on here, like me! welcome, bud. 
but, uh, no, this thread hasn't been "taken over" by anyone. most of us are LGBTQIA, so.

and yes, swearing is kind of banned. after all, this forum is acnl-based.


----------



## ams

amarylis.panda said:


> In high school I struggled with my sexuality a lot. I thought I was bisexual during my sophomore year, then learned about pansexual and thought I was that in my junior and senior years. But near the end of my senior year I heard the term demisexual (for those who don't know, it means I need an emotional connection with someone before I feel sexual attraction to them) and it fit me perfectly.



I feel like that's the best way to describe me as well. My friends always seem to get confused that I haven't had nearly as many relationships as them, but for me I just don't feel that attraction until I've really gotten to know someone and connected with them which isn't all that common for me. In terms of the gender of the other person that really ends up being a non-issue since the attraction stems from an emotional connection. I used to try to label my sexuality more but I felt it was too limiting. At this point I don't even know what word other people would use to describe me so I'm more just like "meh, I like who I like".


----------



## Mango

my mom is making me go to gender therapy ??? whats it like


----------



## Ashtot

Mango said:


> my mom is making me go to gender therapy ??? whats it like



pretty therapeutic if u know what im saying


----------



## Jas0n

Please, people. If you see hate just *ignore it.* Use the report feature and don't pay any mind to the person causing tension. That is the response that they are wanting.


----------



## OreoTerror

I really wish Australia were more accepting. :c
But a late congrats to America! Showing the world a step into the future.


----------



## Dragonqueen0912

I'm a asexual but I'm not brave enough to tell my parents, I have no idea how they feel about that stuff. My dad is against gay marriage, and I'm not sure about my mom but I think she's neutral with it(though she gets defensive when I ask her about being gay, which she's not she's EXTREMELY straight lmao). I made rainbow cupcakes when gay marriage was legalized here in the US (they know I'm liberal) and my dad asked if it had anything to do with me, and I know I should have said something, but I just said "maybe".

heh I'm a wimp

My brother knows, although he's not supportive of it because he doesn't think that it's a legit sexuality, says I'm too young or confused. He said I say I'm like that because "I'm gay and don't want to admit it" well nope because I'm both gay AND asexual so thats not it, lmao.

Most of my friends know about it and I've even lost a few because of it(If they're not accepting of that stuff I don't want to be their friend anyway so it's fine) and I know 2 other aces so it's nice to be able to talk to them about this kind of thing.


----------



## biibii

my mom is a hypocrite.
ellen is gay = shes is such a strong and super amazing woman. GOOD FOR HER
daughter is gay = strip phone away, move her schools, take her to a physciatrist.


----------



## Ashtot

can someone explain what asexuality actually is because everyone says its something different

what i thought it meant was that you dont experience any sexual attraction at all but thats not what ive been hearing lately


----------



## Bowie

Ashtot said:


> can someone explain what asexuality actually is because everyone says its something different
> 
> what i thought it meant was that you dont experience any sexual attraction at all but thats not what ive been hearing lately



It differs from person to person, really. As with any other sexuality, it really depends on the person in question, but generally speaking, asexuality is the lack of or low interest in sexual activity.


----------



## kaitastrophe

I heard somewhere that SWAG stands for 'secretly we are gay'.
Is that true?
I'm so confused ;-;


----------



## Ashtot

pandycake said:


> Well, I don't know if this is off-topic, but my homosexual friend (who is a boy) came out in a rather strange way.
> So one night, he came home really late, and told his father he just had you-know-what. (Dont wanna risk it!)
> So his father told him to come and sit down next to him to talk to him about it, but he said 'No I cant, my butt hurts.'
> ;-;
> I didnt understand until he explained it to me.
> Anyways, Im actually disgusted at how homophobic my parents/family members can be.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> And I heard somewhere that SWAG stands for 'secretly we are gay'.
> Is that true?
> I'm so confused ;-;



im confused about what you're asking but not all gays actually like that so thats kinda a generalization

also if swag means secretly gay then im gay apparently


----------



## Dragonqueen0912

Ashtot said:


> can someone explain what asexuality actually is because everyone says its something different
> 
> what i thought it meant was that you dont experience any sexual attraction at all but thats not what ive been hearing lately



There are different types of Asexuals, as well as something that you can have another part of the LGBTQA+ community (Such as, I'm Bisexual AND asexual, and I know someone who's gay AND asexual, so there are those). There's a demisexual which is where they don't feel sexual attraction to anyone until they get to know them FIRST. Like they get to know them, maybe they've been dating a while, and then later once they know they're comfortable with them, they'll want to have it.

A normal(not really normal but I can't think of any other words right now) asexual is just where you feel little or no sexual attraction. We can have romantic attraction, we still want to date (Unless they're also Aromantic which is the opposite thing, but no romantic feelings, but having sex(Is it okay to say it? Idk) is something they're completely okay with. They can also be straight, bi, pan, gay, any of those) 

Anyway, dating is perfectly fine for us, but sex is just something we have no interest in. Idk how other people are, but I think a lot of people think about it a lot? Like if they have a crush they'll most likely imagine it, but asexuals normally won't, or maybe they will but will just have no interest in it.

It's pretty much different for every body, asexuals don't like the actual action but while some masturbate, others don't ( I don't, I think everything about it is gross, that's my opinion and that's how a lot of asexuals feel about it as well, but not all of them).

Thank you very much for being interested in being educated about it, and I'm sure you could find LOTS more about it all over the internet!!

- - - Post Merge - - -



pandycake said:


> Well, I don't know if this is off-topic, but my homosexual friend (who is a boy) came out in a rather strange way.
> So one night, he came home really late, and told his father he just had you-know-what. (Dont wanna risk it!)
> So his father told him to come and sit down next to him to talk to him about it, but he said 'No I cant, my butt hurts.'
> ;-;
> I didnt understand until he explained it to me.
> Anyways, Im actually disgusted at how homophobic my parents/family members can be.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> And I heard somewhere that SWAG stands for 'secretly we are gay'.
> Is that true?
> I'm so confused ;-;



Well I don't think that was the first intended thing. I've never heard that before, but maybe a group used it as a code word or something? I don't know, but I don't think that's what it officially means


----------



## radical6

Ashtot said:


> can someone explain what asexuality actually is because everyone says its something different
> 
> what i thought it meant was that you dont experience any sexual attraction at all but thats not what ive been hearing lately



for me, im asexual from trauma. i dont feel anything anymore. i mean i am young, so maybe ill like it later, but thinking about sex makes me want to puke. i find people like cute and stuff, but i never... lust after them, you know? i think coz of whats happened im completely mehh about sex and **** now. i mean if i had a loved one, i would do it for them. but im fine not doing it too. 

some asexual ppl do have sex, but i think they dont find the person attractive. theyre not sexually attracted to them? i dont rly get it tho


----------



## cannedcommunism

So.
I've realized I'm bisexual for about a year now, but I haven't come out yet. One of my best friends, who I've had since 2nd grade, is super homophobic. I don't know how to tell him or how he'll react. Since we've been friends for years I'd expect him to support me, but his political views tell me otherwise. Any advice as to how I should tell him or handle it in case he reacts badly?


----------



## ZekkoXCX

[WARNING:i dont know very much about this topics]
IMO,i think you should unfriend him,just think about it,when you tell him,hes gonna hate u,and the he will tell to EVERYONE,someone may support u,but that doesnt help from the hate of the others,people there would make u bullying,if ur teacher notices about this,and if she/he tell to your parents and ur parents are homophobics,ur ****ed man,probably the bully from everyone would make u depressed,coming to the point of you to suicide.
Sorry if this is very un-realistic,still,i think you shouldn't tell anybody in your school,i think this topic should be more talked in family than in school


----------



## AnEndlessOcean

FoxWolf64 said:


> So.
> I've realized I'm bisexual for about a year now, but I haven't come out yet. One of my best friends, who I've had since 2nd grade, is super homophobic. I don't know how to tell him or how he'll react. Since we've been friends for years I'd expect him to support me, but his political views tell me otherwise. Any advice as to how I should tell him or handle it in case he reacts badly?



What you're going through is super prevalent. It's difficult to come out to people who are close to you, especially if you're aware that they might not accept you...but honestly? Go for it, if you're ready. Just tell him straightforward, it doesn't need to be special. If he doesn't support you, he's not the type of friend to keep around to begin with. If you don't feel comfortable coming out to him just quite yet, do it when you feel that it's the right time. The same applies for family, too! I was overwhelmingly nervous coming out to my friends, but I was very surprised when all of them turned out to accept me. Even one of my friends I've known since 1st grade (who wasn't too sure about it first) has come to accept me for who I am. 

If you lose your friend over coming out, don't worry too much. You will meet people along the way who will become very close to you and the best part is; they'll accept you for who you are! Just take it a day at a time and you'll find that people who you're really supposed to be around will be there for you.


----------



## radical6

My friend is a mormon and he knows im bi (idk? questioning) and trans and so do his parents and im wondering whats the chance of his parents hating me bc i feel like they do


----------



## cannedcommunism

Jetix said:


> [WARNING:i dont know very much about this topics]
> IMO,i think you should unfriend him,just think about it,when you tell him,hes gonna hate u,and the he will tell to EVERYONE,someone may support u,but that doesnt help from the hate of the others,people there would make u bullying,if ur teacher notices about this,and if she/he tell to your parents and ur parents are homophobics,ur ****ed man,probably the bully from everyone would make u depressed,coming to the point of you to suicide.
> Sorry if this is very un-realistic,still,i think you shouldn't tell anybody in your school,i think this topic should be more talked in family than in school


Yeah you're not too good at this. My parents support gay marriage anyways  XD


AnEndlessOcean said:


> What you're going through is super prevalent. It's difficult to come out to people who are close to you, especially if you're aware that they might not accept you...but honestly? Go for it, if you're ready. Just tell him straightforward, it doesn't need to be special. If he doesn't support you, he's not the type of friend to keep around to begin with. If you don't feel comfortable coming out to him just quite yet, do it when you feel that it's the right time. The same applies for family, too! I was overwhelmingly nervous coming out to my friends, but I was very surprised when all of them turned out to accept me. Even one of my friends I've known since 1st grade (who wasn't too sure about it first) has come to accept me for who I am.
> 
> If you lose your friend over coming out, don't worry too much. You will meet people along the way who will become very close to you and the best part is; they'll accept you for who you are! Just take it a day at a time and you'll find that people who you're really supposed to be around will be there for you.


Thanks! I'll tell you how it goes.


----------



## ZekkoXCX

Sorry >.<,i think im very n00b at LGBT topics


----------



## cannedcommunism

Jetix said:


> Sorry >.<,i think im very n00b at LGBT topics



It's alright. Probably not your thing though :\


----------



## Jarrad

FoxWolf64 said:


> So.
> I've realized I'm bisexual for about a year now, but I haven't come out yet. One of my best friends, who I've had since 2nd grade, is super homophobic. I don't know how to tell him or how he'll react. Since we've been friends for years I'd expect him to support me, but his political views tell me otherwise. Any advice as to how I should tell him or handle it in case he reacts badly?



Racists, misogynists and homophobes don't get far in this world. If I were in your situation I'd just leave him suffer the consequences of his poisonous lifestyle. 

(Though if he's truly your friend then he'd stay by you regardless of what or who you choose to identify as)

- - - Post Merge - - -



justice said:


> My friend is a mormon and he knows im bi (idk? questioning) and trans and so do his parents and im wondering whats the chance of his parents hating me bc i feel like they do



I'm British so I literally only know of Mormons because of orange is the new black (lol) but if homosexuality and transsexualism is against their religion then I'd only naturally assume that they disapprove of "you" (quoted because i think ur sexuality and gender doesnt define you as a person)


----------



## Cam1

Im so confused. I know for a fact Im ace, and I think Im aromantic as well, althouggh Im not sure. If you had asked me a month ago, I could confidently say that I was both of those with no questions, but Im just not so sure. And I dont have any ace/aro friends, so I really dont have anyone to talk to about it. Well, I guess it will all work itself out


----------



## Jarrad

Cam said:


> Im so confused. I know for a fact Im ace, and I think Im aromantic as well, althouggh Im not sure. If you had asked me a month ago, I could confidently say that I was both of those with no questions, but Im just not so sure. And I dont have any ace/aro friends, so I really dont have anyone to talk to about it. Well, I guess it will all work itself out



what do those mean



Spoiler: Ace???


----------



## Cam1

Jarrad said:


> what do those mean
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: Ace???



Ace is asexual (lack of sexual attraction) haha. Aro is aromantic (lack of romantic attraction)


----------



## Lady Timpani

Jarrad said:


> what do those mean
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: Ace???



lol

Does anybody else sometimes feel bad about their sexuality, even though they've identified that way for years? I sometimes get this way and used to think it was because I was questioning, but now I'm starting to realize it's just because I feel bad and guilty about being a lesbian.


----------



## Cam1

Lady Timpani said:


> lol
> 
> Does anybody else sometimes feel bad about their sexuality, even though they've identified that way for years? I sometimes get this way and used to think it was because I was questioning, but now I'm starting to realize it's just because I feel bad and guilty about being a lesbian.


I feel guilty about being ace. I dont really know why wither, but I do.


----------



## Paramore

Lady Timpani said:


> lol
> 
> Does anybody else sometimes feel bad about their sexuality, even though they've identified that way for years? I sometimes get this way and used to think it was because I was questioning, but now I'm starting to realize it's just because I feel bad and guilty about being a lesbian.



Yes, I usually feel ashamed.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Lady Timpani said:


> lol
> 
> Does anybody else sometimes feel bad about their sexuality, even though they've identified that way for years? I sometimes get this way and used to think it was because I was questioning, but now I'm starting to realize it's just because I feel bad and guilty about being a lesbian.



Nope. Don't see why I would.


----------



## yoshiskye1

sometimes i feel pretty ashamed to be asexual as i kinda feel bad that i don't find anyone sexually attractive. it kinda feels like i'm a bit of a nature freak (given it's meant to be natural to desire sexual pleasure) and i feel like i'm a failure to society as i don't play the role i should if that makes sense


----------



## Dragonqueen0912

yoshiskye1 said:


> sometimes i feel pretty ashamed to be asexual as i kinda feel bad that i don't find anyone sexually attractive. it kinda feels like i'm a bit of a nature freak (given it's meant to be natural to desire sexual pleasure) and i feel like i'm a failure to society as i don't play the role i should if that makes sense



I feel the exact same way. Society has made sex something that shows you you love them but it's not true and it's ridiculous? Like I have my on ways of showing I care for someone I don't want to do something I have no interest in. I felt like such a freak before I even found out about asexuality, and I still do now.

My own brother didn't believe me when I told him, so now I feel like I can't tell anybody. Things like that is a huge problem, and we shouldn't be seen as freaks for not wanting anything to do with it


----------



## yoshiskye1

Dragonqueen0912 said:


> I feel the exact same way. Society has made sex something that shows you you love them but it's not true and it's ridiculous? Like I have my on ways of showing I care for someone I don't want to do something I have no interest in. I felt like such a freak before I even found out about asexuality, and I still do now.
> 
> My own brother didn't believe me when I told him, so now I feel like I can't tell anybody. Things like that is a huge problem, and we shouldn't be seen as freaks for not wanting anything to do with it



AH thank you! this post is just it. most people just laugh like i'm joking when i say i don't dig it. it's normal by societal standards (and lets face it, natural standards) to find enjoyment and be excited by sexual things but abnormal and crazy to just not


----------



## kaitastrophe

im a questioning asexual.
i have a question for those who are ace:
how did you know you were asexual?​


----------



## Cam1

kaitastrophe said:


> im a questioning asexual.
> i have a question for those who are ace:
> how did you know you were asexual?​


My main trigger is that everyone else always said how they couldnt wait to get married so they could have sex and all, but it really just disgusts me in general.


----------



## Bowie

I've never had sex. I don't plan to have sex until I'm much, much older. That being said, I can't honestly say I've held back sexually. I've masturbated, I've looked at porn. It's a regular thing for me, and I've never considered it that big of a deal. I can't wait to experience sex, though. It's an inescapable thought for anyone nowadays, I think. It's something I choose to embrace instead of hide from.


----------



## kaitastrophe

Bowie said:


> I've never had sex. I don't plan to have sex until I'm much, much older. That being said, I can't honestly say I've held back sexually. I've masturbated, I've looked at porn. It's a regular thing for me, and I've never considered it that big of a deal. I can't wait to experience sex, though. It's an inescapable thought for anyone nowadays, I think. It's something I choose to embrace instead of hide from.​



Me neither.
I'm very old-fashioned-
I won't have sex until I'm married, and if I do, it's to try for babies.
I'm not planning on doing it on my honeymoon unless we want to have babies as soon as we get married.​


----------



## Tessie

kaitastrophe said:


> Me neither.
> I'm very old-fashioned-
> I won't have sex until I'm married, and if I do, it's to try for babies.
> I'm not planning on doing it on my honeymoon unless we want to have babies as soon as we get married.​



Let me just say...making love to your significant other without the intent to procreate is extremely common in all marriages including "old fashion," marriages, and also for a healthy relationship. You mean to say you will have sex to have a baby, and then not at all unless you want another? That just won't work...I'm sorry. I don't know any adult who would agree for a relationship like that unless they were super religious or something. That's going years without sex...seems unhealthy to be honest. Sex is a beautiful thing two people share with each other.

Just my two cents.




*edit: Nevermind, I went a page back and read that you said you were asexual.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Honestly, I never got waiting until marriage. I'm not all that interested in getting married anyway so when I feel I'm ready to have sex, I will. [Though with protection, of course.]


----------



## Wittle_Munchkin

kaitastrophe said:


> im a questioning asexual.
> i have a question for those who are ace:
> how did you know you were asexual?​



I found out I was Asexual after having to deal with many annoying boyfriends. (They motivated me to go to the internet to find out why I experience no sexual attraction. Lol.)
All of them, up until my current one have all tried to pressure me into doing sexual things with them. They gave me stupid 'excuses' to try to justify why I wasn't 'being fair' to them by 'denying them sex'. I made sure they felt like crap after their statements.
"We've been dating for ____ already." And we don't need to date for another ____. 'Kay?
"How else will you show how much you love me?" I dunno. Spending time with you? Giving you presents? Supporting you? Making you happy? Literally every other way besides bumping genitalia together? I guess those aren't enough for you!
"If you don't have sex with me after 6 months, I'll dump you." lol not before i dump you right now bye.
"Everybody's doing it." Funny. We're 15. Statistically speaking, most people our age aren't.
"Give me sex. I'm a guy. I need it or else I'll get blue balls." You don't "give" away sex. Also, you have hands for a reason, a**hole.

I never gave into the pressure. Looking back on it now, I'm glad I didn't. 

I've been with my current boyfriend for about 4 years non-stop. Even now, I have no desire to do anything sexual with him. He's fine with it, I'm fine with it, we get along great. *shrugs*


----------



## Dragonqueen0912

Wittle_Munchkin said:


> I found out I was Asexual after having to deal with many annoying boyfriends. (They motivated me to go to the internet to find out why I experience no sexual attraction. Lol.)
> All of them, up until my current one have all tried to pressure me into doing sexual things with them. They gave me stupid 'excuses' to try to justify why I wasn't 'being fair' to them by 'denying them sex'. I made sure they felt like crap after their statements.
> "We've been dating for ____ already." And we don't need to date for another ____. 'Kay?
> "How else will you show how much you love me?" I dunno. Spending time with you? Giving you presents? Supporting you? Making you happy? Literally every other way besides bumping genitalia together? I guess those aren't enough for you!
> "If you don't have sex with me after 6 months, I'll dump you." lol not before i dump you right now bye.
> "Everybody's doing it." Funny. We're 15. Statistically speaking, most people our age aren't.
> "Give me sex. I'm a guy. I need it or else I'll get blue balls." You don't "give" away sex. Also, you have hands for a reason, a**hole.
> 
> I never gave into the pressure. Looking back on it now, I'm glad I didn't.
> 
> I've been with my current boyfriend for about 4 years non-stop. Even now, I have no desire to do anything sexual with him. He's fine with it, I'm fine with it, we get along great. *shrugs*



That's so awesome!!! I'm so glad you found someone who's okay with it!! I wish I could meet someone like that haha, he's a keeper ^^ It also made me happy when you said ""How else will you show how much you love me?" I dunno. Spending time with you? Giving you presents? Supporting you? Making you happy? Literally every other way besides bumping genitalia together? I guess those aren't enough for you!"

because that's exactly right, like I said earlier, sex isn't the only thing to show how much I love you. So thank you xD


----------



## cannedcommunism

I hate when people try to push for sex. Like, it's not the only way to express love, especially since it's the second date. But it's fine when both agree to it.


----------



## Bowie

kaitastrophe said:


> Me neither.
> I'm very old-fashioned-
> I won't have sex until I'm married, and if I do, it's to try for babies.
> I'm not planning on doing it on my honeymoon unless we want to have babies as soon as we get married.​



Well, I'm not sure about that. I'll definitely have sex before marriage. For me, it's more just not being mature enough (or legally old enough, actually) to have sex, rather than not wanting it until a particular time. Considering I'm a gay male, it's out of the question whether or not I'll be trying for babies, but you get the idea.


----------



## queertactics

kaitastrophe said:


> im a questioning asexual.
> i have a question for those who are ace:
> how did you know you were asexual?​



im questioning ace too!! holla 

idk my thing is that like? while I do have a libido and take care of that sometimes, I never see someone and think "wow, I would have sex with them"? im aesthetically attracted to some people sometimes but cause im aromantic its mostly just like "wow they're cute, I bet they'd be fun to hang out with". 

the thing that gets ME all confused is that asexuals can totally be ace and still have sex drive and like. I guess I feel kind of invalid if I have a sex drive but I never want to ACT on it. like does that count still? who knows. 

but im Actively Aware that MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE with asexuality is directly related to me being trans  (ie dysphoria making me uncomfortable with myself) and with trauma (which im not gonna explain),,,, so,,,,,,,,,,,  I feel bad for being like, simultaneously Too Sexual To Be Asexual and also Only Asexual Because Broken 

lmao tbh I have a MUCH harder time with asexuality than I did with being transgender


----------



## Dragonqueen0912

queertactics said:


> im questioning ace too!! holla
> 
> idk my thing is that like? while I do have a libido and take care of that sometimes, I never see someone and think "wow, I would have sex with them"? im aesthetically attracted to some people sometimes but cause im aromantic its mostly just like "wow they're cute, I bet they'd be fun to hang out with".
> 
> the thing that gets ME all confused is that asexuals can totally be ace and still have sex drive and like. I guess I feel kind of invalid if I have a sex drive but I never want to ACT on it. like does that count still? who knows.
> 
> but im Actively Aware that MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE with asexuality is directly related to me being trans  (ie dysphoria making me uncomfortable with myself) and with trauma (which im not gonna explain),,,, so,,,,,,,,,,,  I feel bad for being like, simultaneously Too Sexual To Be Asexual and also Only Asexual Because Broken
> 
> lmao tbh I have a MUCH harder time with asexuality than I did with being transgender



Well everyone has a sex drive. I've had about a year of wondering if I was really ace just because it's so confusing and I still feel broken and everything, but it doesn't make you any less asexual if you masturbate, get horny, or any of the such because asexuality is the lack of wanting to actually WANT to HAVE sex. You can still think about it, but you don't actually lust after doing it or anything.

If you have no interest in actually having sex then you're asexual. But yes, your sex drive and you don't want to act on it still makes you a asexual, it's unlikely you'll never have those feelings, but just don't actually want to interact like that. YOURE NOT INVALID, DONT WORRY!!! I hope that helps ^^;


----------



## radical6

y do ppl come up with awful terms in the community like bihet and monosexual?


----------



## queertactics

justice said:


> y do ppl come up with awful terms in the community like bihet and monosexual?



its gross, right!! in-hate sucks. i guess some of them were created to be useful? but once you examine them they're,, really harmful. like, okay, actually, excellent example because we just got off the asexuality topic: allosexual. 




Spoiler



so, allosexual was created to mean someone whose romantic orientiation aligns with their sexual orientation - heterosexual-heteroromantic, bisexual-biromantic, etc etc. the idea was that people who are allosexual don't face the problems that asexuals and aromantics do, etc. ((i never quite figured out of an asexual-aromantic fit the bill for allosexual but that's another discussion)) 

but sexuality doesn't affect everyone in the same way?? 

asexuals face oppression in the sense that they're considered immature, prudish, etc. 
allosexuals do not face this oppression (or so the theory goes). 

BUT, we have to consider intersectionality. 

folks with disabilities are assumed to be asexual. you never see like, a sexy ad campaign with a person with a disability. no one ever thinks to give sex ed to kids in special ed. but what if they aren't asexual? what if they're allosexual? aren't they facing the same sort of things that asexuals/aromantics are? how can we lump them in with allosexals? 

and what about like, racist assumptions about people? how Black folks are hypersexualized? how Asian women are deemed submissive and Asian men are de-sexualized? how can we assume they aren't facing the same sort of reactions from other people that asexuals/aromantics are?



*TL;DR:[/B**] I think, for the most part, these sort of terms are created as an attempt to protect ourselves from people who won't understand what we're going through; who'll mock us, bastardize our experiences, undermine our feelings. but once they're widely established, we start to see the problems with them.*


----------



## radical6

i thought allosexual meant someone who wasnt asexual 

whatever its an awful term and i roll my eyes whenever i hear people talk as if allosexuals are obsessed with sex. im asexual, but it comes off as very... homophobic. especially when these people are making these posts on tumblr, where y'know...a large population of the site is gay. 

like, i get asexuals want to make jokes and all.. but when you verge into the "HAHA ALLOSEXUALS ARE DIRTY FOR HAVING SEX" that can get ... very homophobic. 

like i saw this kid make a post that was like "what if there was a disease u could only get from sex and everyone but asexuals died out"

im like that was a thing. theyre called STDs. its called AIDS. you know, that wiped out a majority of the gay population in the 60s.

I dont think these people realize the statements they make are harmful. **** like "haha dirty allosexuals having sex" can resemble what gay ppl hear? "haha dirty gays having sex"

like, gay/lesbian sex is punishable by death... inb4 someone brings up rome and homosexuality, but.. its just very annoying to see the ace community act like this. ive distanced myself from the community bc i find it quite annoying and i dont believe in a majority of the new terms they make up


----------



## stinaj68

I'm asexual and most likely aromantic. I'm only out to my parents (very conservative Christians) and they kinda made me coming out as something that doesn't exist. I keep telling them and reminding them so I don't know where they stand anymore. I don't think they realize that being ace means I'm not straight. They don't approve of the lgbtqia+ so I'm not sure if they are in denial that I'm ace or what. For the most part I like being ace/aro because I don't have to worry about dating the much. I'm not sure if l want to get married in the future. I think I would just like to have a super best friend and live with them forever or with another ace person. I don't mind romance or sex but I don't find people sexually or romantically attractive. The only thing that bothers me is that people sometimes say that ace/aro people are not part of the lgbtqia+. I really don't like that because ace and aro people face discrimination like other sexualities do but just in different ways. I'm still not sure when I'm ready to tell my friends I'm ace and aro. My coworkers are really really supportive of all sexualities including ace and aro people but I feel like I can't tell them yet because I just broke up with someone that used to work there. For my other friends I don't want them to think that coming out as ace and aro had to do with anything about being a special snowflake either. I've known for a year that I am ace but I just haven't told anyone besides my parents yet.


----------



## okaimii

I'm a questioning ace and aro. I've been in a relationship for over a year now and while I do love them, just the thought of having sex with them kinda "grosses" me out in a way. I mean, given that I'm still quite young, I just feel like it's something I'm not interested in and I'm kind of concerned if I ever will be. My partner has brought up to me that he wishes we had more sexual contact and while I understand his point of view, I have no desire to touch him in that way. Sure, we've kissed and such before, but I just get _really_ awkward with things like that so I back off. I've told him I'm not ready for anything of the sort anytime soon but I kinda feel like I never will be. I'm kind of scared to bring this up to him because I feel like he'll say I don't _truly_ love him or something which really pisses me off. That being said though, I wish I wasn't so cold when it comes to those types things. I just feel kinda... "off" if that makes any sense.


----------



## Ghost Soda

okaimii said:


> My partner has brought up to me that he wishes we had more sexual contact and while I understand his point of view, I have no desire to touch him in that way. Sure, we've kissed and such before, but I just get _really_ awkward with things like that so I back off. I've told him I'm not ready for anything of the sort anytime soon but I kinda feel like I never will be. I'm kind of scared to bring this up to him because I feel like he'll say I don't _truly_ love him or something which really pisses me off.



If he does then dump him.


----------



## riummi

okaimii said:


> I'm a questioning ace and aro. I've been in a relationship for over a year now and while I do love them, just the thought of having sex with them kinda "grosses" me out in a way. I mean, given that I'm still quite young, I just feel like it's something I'm not interested in and I'm kind of concerned if I ever will be. My partner has brought up to me that he wishes we had more sexual contact and while I understand his point of view, I have no desire to touch him in that way. Sure, we've kissed and such before, but I just get _really_ awkward with things like that so I back off. I've told him I'm not ready for anything of the sort anytime soon but I kinda feel like I never will be. I'm kind of scared to bring this up to him because I feel like he'll say I don't _truly_ love him or something which really pisses me off. That being said though, I wish I wasn't so cold when it comes to those types things. I just feel kinda... "off" if that makes any sense.



You should discuss with your partner about your thoughts :/ I mean either way it will come up again. It's not your fault for being "cold" or anything. If you two can't meet in the "middle" or come to an understanding then the relationship might as well end. :c 
Sexual contact is in a way somewhat important in a relationship, though of course it isn't required. (It's a human thing lol) but I suggest you talk it out c: relationships are about understanding  (LOL I've never even been in one but oh well) hope it goes ok u.u

(I don't mean to offend you so hopefully I didn't! > < )


----------



## PeeBraiin

OMG I had no idea this was a thread here!^___^
Hi everyone! 
I'm Gabi and im a lesbian~
Current I am dealing with a lot of issues with others at school. People laugh at me and stuff but I try to not let it get to me.
I try to remain optimistic and happy most of the time but it's nice to get some support every now and then.


----------



## okaimii

riummi said:


> You should discuss with your partner about your thoughts :/ I mean either way it will come up again. It's not your fault for being "cold" or anything. If you two can't meet in the "middle" or come to an understanding then the relationship might as well end. :c
> Sexual contact is in a way somewhat important in a relationship, though of course it isn't required. (It's a human thing lol) but I suggest you talk it out c: relationships are about understanding  (LOL I've never even been in one but oh well) hope it goes ok u.u
> 
> (I don't mean to offend you so hopefully I didn't! > < )



Nah, you didn't offend me at all. I'm actually really grateful you took the time to reply to me.

I have a sex drive and I do have "fantasies", I guess. But that's all they are. Fantasies. The thought of actually doing them scares me and I don't know why. The thought of him making/doing something romantic for me kinda turns me off. I'm never in the mood for romance. I actually brought it up to my boyfriend but he dismissed it and said he wasn't in the mood to discuss about it. My feelings are, quite obviously, really hurt. But maybe he was right. Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up to him about it because I'm not exactly sure if I'm an ace or aro myself. But even so, I feel very embarrassed.


----------



## graceroxx

I have a question concerning asexuality: what's the minimum age for knowing you're ace?? I think I may be one, but when I asked my mom she was like "pffffft you're still young you don't know!!! You're prob going through a phase!"
Uh, okay, but... I'm 14. My best friend is 13 and she's always saying things like "THAT GUY IS SO HOT!! I WANT TO DO IT SOMEDAY WITH THE RIGHT PERSON!! etc etc." and I'm just sitting over here like...ew. No thanks.
So I'm just wondering: would I be considered "too young" to know for sure?


----------



## Vida

@graceroxx
You will get different opinions depending on who you ask but here's what I think: Honestly, I think 14 is too young to know that one is asexual. I myself thought of myself as asexual when I was 17. Looking back now (I'm 21 now) even 17 is too young to know. When I was 14, I had no interest in boys or girls either. In my opinion, you have to have experimented with both sexes to really know that you feel no attraction to either sex. I think the same about people who identify as straight: Unless you have experimented with the same sex, how do you know for 100% that you have not the slightest attraction for people of the same sex? Of course this also goes for gay people but the difference is that many or most gay people have tried to be with the opposite sex before.

My advice: Don't force a label on yourself too fast. Take your time to find out who you are. If you come out now and then realize in a couple of years that you are something else, it is very hard to change people's minds of who you are.


----------



## Bowie

I think this is my new favourite video in existence.

Also, I should warn you guys that it includes a lot of swearing.


----------



## PeeBraiin

I'm currently.being bullied for my sexuality


----------



## AmaiiTenshii

Whoops bumping the thread but I'm currently a gay trans guy, except I'm super feminine so sometimes I kinda lean towards genderfluid.


----------



## MyLifeIsCake

My sexuality is... tbh I don't even know anymore. I thought I was aro for a while, but now I'm leaning towards ace... It's not that I find no specific gender attractive (certain traits for me are), I just cannot see myself getting funky with someone I've known/dated for any period of time. Idk why I feel like this... .-. Normally people who have known each other for a long time and have a connection feel the need to get physical, but I just can't do something like that with someone I know... weird right? But the thought of having sex with someone I look at everyday turns me off. It would be okay with someone I didn't know, if there weren't so many people with horrible attitudes in the world...Anyway, I defiantly don't believe that intimacy is the strongest form of love connection, there are other ways to show that you love someone. I don't know why it's something so glorified to the point that if you don't have it, you're considered that you don't love that person. Absolute sh**.


----------



## Beardo

Ughghgh I'm back to questioning my sexuality, which is normal at this age, but idk

All I know for sure is a prefer girls, but I can find anyone attractive no matter what they identify as


----------



## device

i was unfair on u all the last time i posted in this thread (i got an infraction for being rude) and i have come to realize that everyone is different it doesn't matter which gender u love bc it's up to u and u should block out the h8rs bc all they do is h8

i support this thread!!


----------



## raes

i'm trans (trigender) (yes that's real) (yes i'll take the time to explain if u realllllly dont get it) and aroace


----------



## boujee

I'm forever questioning and I personally don't like labels but I believe I'm close in the gray category.
I think I'm demisexual but I'm becoming more aromantic and asexual, so idk.


----------



## Jamborenium

my sexuality is Panromantic Ace, despite how I joke around about sexual stuff, I have a very low sex drive and never been interested in it. btw before anyone ask I'm 25 and I've been like this since I was 19 


and I'm really confused about my gender so I don't bother with pronouns anymore, I just have people replace pronouns with my name when referring to me and they/them when needed.


----------



## PrincessSara

I'm raising this thread from the depths, as I'm a recently joined transpeep (MTF is the label but I've always been a girl ofc) and LOVE there's such a large thread devoted to the community, even though where I am (Canada) the LGB usually tells the T to go elsewhere x.x its kinda crazy how that happens in  alot of places, not saying that's here but yeah....

any transpeoples around lately that wanna kick the can topic wise? :3


----------



## Shimmer

So I'm currently under the impression that I am bisexual. I like men and women, both sexually and romantically. I used to think that I was straight but I've come across some girls who I would totally date in a heartbeat.

How can you really tell if you're bisexual?


----------



## Ghost Soda

Shimmer said:


> So I'm currently under the impression that I am bisexual. I like men and women, both sexually and romantically. I used to think that I was straight but I've come across some girls who I would totally date in a heartbeat.
> 
> How can you really tell if you're bisexual?



Usually, if you're into both dudes and chicks then you're bisexual.


----------



## PrincessSara

Shimmer said:


> So I'm currently under the impression that I am bisexual. I like men and women, both sexually and romantically. I used to think that I was straight but I've come across some girls who I would totally date in a heartbeat.
> 
> How can you really tell if you're bisexual?



you could be pansexual too, if you don't have issue with the middle genders (of which there are just SO MANY)


----------



## KeatAlex

<3


----------



## Beardo

Ughghghghghghghg OK so like I know I'm pansexual, but I'm much more easily attracted to women/woman-esque bodies. I can definitely be into dudes, but the thought of a woman is much more appealing


----------



## Darian

*Sorry, Long Story Here!*

I'll start by saying I am an adult woman. I've been openly bisexual since I was 11 years old. I came out to my parents and their immediate reaction was to tell me I had no way of knowing I was bisexual unless I've had "relations" _(trying to keep it PG)_ with both a man and a woman, then I'd know for sure. Which of course is asinine. I decided my parents needed time to absorb what I had just told them. 

My father was extremely homophobic. My mother was somewhat more understanding since she had a gay brother, but she was also a very traditional Catholic. I assumed things would get better since they didn't react *HORRIBLY*. However the next few years of my life were spent without friends and constantly being bullied at school for my sexuality. My parents decided they couldn't take any chances so I was not allowed to have any male *OR* female friends. 

During school I would be beaten up daily by boys who were twice my size. I had a girlfriend when I was 13, but she started to receive the same treatment at school as I did. It broke my heart that I couldn't protect her from it. So we decided to go our separate ways. High school was somewhat easier for me because there was a very wonderful Gay/Straight Alliance club I could attend. At least until my parents found out I was in it and forbade me from ever going again. 

Coming out can be the most difficult thing you will ever do. I might not have had it as bad as other people in the LGBTQA community, but I have seen my share of bad times. One thing I can reassure *ALL* of you in this community, I am a lot happier living my life as I was truly meant to: *AS MYSELF*. I could never forgive myself if I lived my life in fear or shame. Today, I am happily married and am enlisted in the U.S. Air Force. My husband has always been accepting of my sexuality. And yes I am *STILL* bisexual despite being in a heterosexual marriage. Unfortunately, this something many people do not understand about people who are bisexual. But I digress... 

Be who you truly are and nothing anyone else has to say will ever matter. What matters is if you are proud of who you are and where you come from. Everyone in our world makes up this beautiful rainbow which we use to represent our community, so never be ashamed to show *ALL* of your beautiful colors.


----------



## Bowie

I think coming out is the most ridiculous concept around nowadays. You shouldn't have to come out as any sexuality. You bring home a girl, your parents should treat them the same as they'd treat a boy. I think the only good thing about it is gaining confidence that those closest to you support you in all that you desire, but I don't necessarily think people should feel obligated to do such a thing. I just needed to get that off my chest.


----------



## Princess

Bowie said:


> I think coming out is the most ridiculous concept around nowadays. You shouldn't have to come out as any sexuality. You bring home a girl, your parents should treat them the same as they'd treat a boy. I think the only good thing about it is gaining confidence that those closest to you support you in all that you desire, but I don't necessarily think people should feel obligated to do such a thing. I just needed to get that off my chest.



Not everyone is blessed with a super supportive family that would automatically treat their child bringing home the same sex the same as if they were to bring home the opposite sex. 

But I hope that the next generation of kids will get to see being supportive of different sexualities more as the norm.


----------



## Bowie

Princess said:


> Not everyone is blessed with a super supportive family that would automatically treat their child bringing home the same sex the same as if they were to bring home the opposite sex.
> 
> But I hope that the next generation of kids will get to see being supportive of different sexualities more as the norm.



I'm aware of that. I'm not trying to say it isn't necessary. I'm trying to say that it shouldn't have to be.


----------



## Princess

Bowie said:


> I'm aware of that. I'm not trying to say it isn't necessary. I'm trying to say that it shouldn't have to be.



Yeah I'm agreeing with you. It'll be a good day when heterosexuality is no longer considered the automatic default.


----------



## radical6

finding someone to date ur age that accepts transgender ppl is Hard but i hope this girl understands

other option for me is mormon friend whos into me i think but dont mormons hate trans and gay ppl


----------



## Ashtot

justice said:


> finding someone to date ur age that accepts transgender ppl is Hard but i hope this girl understands
> 
> other option for me is mormon friend whos into me i think but dont mormons hate trans and gay ppl



depends on the mormon but probably yes


----------



## Trundle

Ashtot said:


> depends on the mormon but probably yes



also mormons are... mormons..
poor mormons


----------



## radical6

Ashtot said:


> depends on the mormon but probably yes



apparently hes relaxed about it and i researched it a bit apparently they dont hate us but Want to Correct us and Love us before we go to hell or something 

i talked to him a lot about my ex gf idk if he knows im trans tho. i dont think he would mind too much if we were dating but his parents are another story since theyre like those mormons who install those monitoring services that watch every single thing your kid does online and bans sites like youtube lmao


----------



## Amy Rose

justice said:


> finding someone to date ur age that accepts transgender ppl is Hard but i hope this girl understands
> 
> other option for me is mormon friend whos into me i think but dont mormons hate trans and gay ppl



I'm mtf trans and pansexual, and jeez is dating hard after coming out, although part of it is probably due to how I'm weird about my sexuality. 90% of the people I get that hit on me are just really creepy dudes that are probably just fetishists, which sucks.


----------



## PrincessSara

Amy Rose said:


> I'm mtf trans and pansexual, and jeez is dating hard after coming out, although part of it is probably due to how I'm weird about my sexuality. 90% of the people I get that hit on me are just really creepy dudes that are probably just fetishists, which sucks.



Eh, fetishism isn't creepy unless its completely consuming that person in my opinion or entirely physically focused (which yes, I know alot that are only into transwomen because of their bits which is ew), but among those fetishists there still can be found a few that are attracted to both the physical and mental and frankly, as a transgirl and someone that hasn't had many people in her life over the past 5 years due to chronic illness, I'd probably take those 5% of that 90% anyday solely for the company.

I understand that isn't you in your case but I just felt it worthy to mention not all of those so called 'fetishists' are bad. as someone in the kink community predating transition I've seen the world from both sides so to speak and know just like everything else in the world, it all depends who it is.

I myself consider myself still pansexual too but after alot of experiences with guys and none with cisgirls (only other transgirls) I'm pretty turned off by alot of males typical personality cliches (lack of emotional response, selfishness and not much effort to make sure both parties are happy) at this point so mostly am starting to find my attraction to other females (cis or not) growing. 

and I definitely know a bit about the weird about your sexuality part....it's gotten even more specific in the year I've been on mones than before...there are some things that still are great though, like just cuddles :3


----------



## Shimmer

I feel weird at the fact that nowadays, people feel that they need to "come out" as whatever. Why do people care so much?


----------



## PrincessSara

Shimmer said:


> I feel weird at the fact that nowadays, people feel that they need to "come out" as whatever. Why do people care so much?



I know right? but I guess still a majority of the planet has been trained to treat anything different than the majority as bad. the world has a long way to go to be untrained from past ways of things.


----------



## Wittle_Munchkin

Okay, peeps. Sooooo I'm only physically attracted to men, and I'm only emotionally attracted to women. What the heck is up with me? >_> I'm only attracted to model-status dudes; not average ones. So it's still hard for me to find men attractive. (Is it because many of them don't tend to put as much effort into fashion/looking good like women?)

As for the emotional attraction towards women, I'm easily attracted to them. Especially when we're good friends and they identify as bisexual or lesbian. When it comes to physical attraction towards women, I find them beautiful and easy to look at, but it's never sexual. At all. 

If I start dating again, I'm going to be confused as heck. I don't know what the flip I want.


----------



## Bowie

The divine Divine.


----------



## honeymoo

school starts soon and it'll be my first time at school being out so i'm kind of scared but excited.


----------



## OreoTerror

Good luck with school! I'm sure it will go fine, usually that generation typically doesn't care as much as you think. At least that's how it was when I was in school.


----------



## radical6

OreoTerror said:


> Good luck with school! I'm sure it will go fine, usually that generation typically doesn't care as much as you think. At least that's how it was when I was in school.



Depends where you live tbh

Like I have never been worried about being out as trans or gay since everyones really liberal around here. But my friends down south still get ****, and they're terrified to be out so yeah. (Talking about the US lol)

Other countries idk, I would assume Canada is more relaxed about it than the US.


----------



## PrincessSara

justice said:


> Depends where you live tbh
> 
> Like I have never been worried about being out as trans or gay since everyones really liberal around here. But my friends down south still get ****, and they're terrified to be out so yeah. (Talking about the US lol)
> 
> Other countries idk, I would assume Canada is more relaxed about it than the US.



Canada is just as varied, and there are always going to be bigots everywhere, even in cities with large presences of LGB + T communities, stuff happens.


----------



## OreoTerror

I live in Australia and places do vary but typically people are pretty open here, even in places where I think they wouldn't be. There are always going to be those horrible people making life difficult, though.


----------



## Bowie

I got a nice, vintage floral shirt today. It's pretty darn feminine, and It's the closest I can really get to cross-dressing, right now. I intend to wear it out, so it'll be fun to see people even more confused than they were before about my sex.


----------



## PrincessSara

Bowie said:


> I got a nice, vintage floral shirt today. It's pretty darn feminine, and It's the closest I can really get to cross-dressing, right now. I intend to wear it out, so it'll be fun to see people even more confused than they were before about my sex.



floral is pretty hard to pull off...you could try different cut clothing (like most of the summer I've been wearing female cut tops, mind you I've started to get the boobs for it the past year on hormones) and no one would probably bat an eye.

on a random offnote: everytime I see your signature I keep imagining David Bowie as the next Doctor for Doctor Who...I feel like he would have been way more charming than the current (12) one, Capaladi (sp?) for sure <.<


----------



## ams

Wittle_Munchkin said:


> Okay, peeps. Sooooo I'm only physically attracted to men, and I'm only emotionally attracted to women. What the heck is up with me? >_> I'm only attracted to model-status dudes; not average ones. So it's still hard for me to find men attractive. (Is it because many of them don't tend to put as much effort into fashion/looking good like women?)
> 
> As for the emotional attraction towards women, I'm easily attracted to them. Especially when we're good friends and they identify as bisexual or lesbian. When it comes to physical attraction towards women, I find them beautiful and easy to look at, but it's never sexual. At all.
> 
> If I start dating again, I'm going to be confused as heck. I don't know what the flip I want.



I'm not sure how old you are, but I remember having similar confusion when I was about 18-19. All of a sudden I was in university and an environment where you could be openly whatever and I felt like I needed to figure out "what I was" or at least somehow fit my feelings into a neat little box. Now that I'm older I've realized that it's best (at least for me) to just not overthink it and not try to predict who I'll want to be with in the future. I've been really surprised many times by who I end up being attracted to, so now I think of things more in terms of just being attracted to the person because of who they are rather than their gender. Also relationships are all different, so having a relationship that's more physical with one person and more emotional with another is totally normal in my opinion.


----------



## Bowie

PrincessSara said:


> floral is pretty hard to pull off...you could try different cut clothing (like most of the summer I've been wearing female cut tops, mind you I've started to get the boobs for it the past year on hormones) and no one would probably bat an eye.
> 
> on a random offnote: everytime I see your signature I keep imagining David Bowie as the next Doctor for Doctor Who...I feel like he would have been way more charming than the current (12) one, Capaladi (sp?) for sure <.<



That may be a good idea, yes. I already look pretty feminine with my long hair, though, so the floral look goes surprisingly well.

Also, yes. I've always thought Bowie would have been better.


----------



## Beardo

Bowie said:


> The divine Divine.



Gotta love Divine


----------



## doveling

I think one of my closest friends is Bisexual, my group was having a confessional at lunch today and one of the questions was 'Who would most likely be a lesbian', and everyone shook their heads and were like 'hm idk" except her, she was like 'I think one of us is Bi atleast'.

Then after lunch she went all quite and looked pretty depressed, so me and my friends thought it was suspicious so we asked her about it (don't worry said it subtly like, 'if you have something on your mind, let us know, we are always here for you~') and she started to tear up and say ''I'm fine''.
I hope she tells us whats up when she is ready, she has to know that we'll be there for her whenever~


----------



## brutalitea

Wittle_Munchkin said:


> Okay, peeps. Sooooo I'm only physically attracted to men, and I'm only emotionally attracted to women. What the heck is up with me? >_> I'm only attracted to model-status dudes; not average ones. So it's still hard for me to find men attractive. (Is it because many of them don't tend to put as much effort into fashion/looking good like women?)
> 
> As for the emotional attraction towards women, I'm easily attracted to them. Especially when we're good friends and they identify as bisexual or lesbian. When it comes to physical attraction towards women, I find them beautiful and easy to look at, but it's never sexual. At all.
> 
> If I start dating again, I'm going to be confused as heck. I don't know what the flip I want.



It is 100% possible to have different romantic and sexual orientations. If you want a label, you are, _if I am understanding you correctly and I could be wrong_, heterosexual and homoromantic.  

I know of several people who have different romantic and sexual orientations, including myself.


----------



## radical6

peoyne said:


> I think one of my closest friends is Bisexual, my group was having a confessional at lunch today and one of the questions was 'Who would most likely be a lesbian', and everyone shook their heads and were like 'hm idk" except her, she was like 'I think one of us is Bi atleast'.
> 
> Then after lunch she went all quite and looked pretty depressed, so me and my friends thought it was suspicious so we asked her about it (don't worry said it subtly like, 'if you have something on your mind, let us know, we are always here for you~') and she started to tear up and say ''I'm fine''.
> I hope she tells us whats up when she is ready, she has to know that we'll be there for her whenever~



thats nice you gave her space and time. imo thats how ppl should react when they suspect their friends gay or something.


----------



## Dinosaurz

I feel so left out with all this Fabulousness going around...


----------



## Shimmer

My mother continously rants to me about how sick she is of logging into Facebook and seeing/hearing about gay pride and the like. She uses the common response of "where's the straight pride" And things like that. She literally said to me, "in a few years there won't be any straight people left."

This woman is driving me crazy.


----------



## riummi

Shimmer said:


> My mother continously rants to me about how sick she is of logging into Facebook and seeing/hearing about gay pride and the like. She uses the common response of "where's the straight pride" And things like that. She literally said to me, "in a few years there won't be any straight people left."
> 
> This woman is driving me crazy.



ah sounds like my mom too =_= but she doesnt use fb lol


----------



## Bwazey

When gay marriage was legalized. I can't even scratch the surface of how many people walked into work and randomly asked me "So, you liking this *** run country now?" and things along those lines. I absolutely hate living in the south. 99.9% of people are homophobic and make me uncomfortable and angry.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Bwazey said:


> When gay marriage was legalized. I can't even scratch the surface of how many people walked into work and randomly asked me "So, you liking this *** run country now?" and things along those lines. I absolutely hate living in the south. 99.9% of people are homophobic and make me uncomfortable and angry.



Glad I don't live there. Sounds like a cess pool of ignorance.


----------



## OreoTerror

Oh my gosh guys in Australia where I live in the next federal election same sex marriage is going to be legalised!


----------



## Jake

OreoTerror said:


> Oh my gosh guys in Australia where I live in the next federal election same sex marriage is going to be legalised!



Wat since when I don't pay attention to the news fill me in pls


----------



## OreoTerror

They just said that it'd be a law instated in the next election, no matter what party gets in! Though Labour is more for it, Tony Abbott wanted to put it to a people vote, and statistics show that over 70% of Australians are pro same sex marriage, which means no matter what it'll happen! Though the next election won't be for ages seemly..


----------



## Corrie

Man... I think I might be bisexual (and biromantic as well) but I don't want to false label myself.


----------



## oswaldies

One time my friend didn't want me to be transgender ;w;


----------



## radical6

OreoTerror said:


> They just said that it'd be a law instated in the next election, no matter what party gets in! Though Labour is more for it, Tony Abbott wanted to put it to a people vote, and statistics show that over 70% of Australians are pro same sex marriage, which means no matter what it'll happen! Though the next election won't be for ages seemly..




I wouldn't say it's 100% gonna happen, but its likely I suppose. I gotta tell my friend to vote lmao



oswaldies said:


> One time my friend didn't want me to be transgender ;w;



Ew. Why?


----------



## KatTayle

Just discovered this thread! I'm Pansexual, which sucks 'cause I live in Utah where almost everyone is religious aka "gays are disgusting" type of people. 

Luckily my parents aren't, I came out to them when same sex marriage was legalized in the US and they were fine with it


----------



## Shimmer

KatTayle said:


> Just discovered this thread! I'm Pansexual, which sucks 'cause I live in Utah where almost everyone is religious aka "gays are disgusting" type of people.
> 
> Luckily my parents aren't, I came out to them when same sex marriage was legalized in the US and they were fine with it



That's so great!  We need more parents like yours!


----------



## Sir Takoya

I'm demisexual, but a lot of people seem to think it's bellshake <-- lol. What about your thoughts?


----------



## Bulbadragon

I'm pansexual. Once my mom was saying something about how someone we know is gay or something about gay marriage and she said, "Thank god you're not gay, I don't think your dad could handle it!" and she's pretty homophobic as well. I'm not out, so I just sat there thinking, "Well, I've got some news for you..." Doesn't make me excited for when they find out or I tell them.


----------



## Llust

im asexual, but i realized it a couple of months ago. before then, i labeled myself i was simply straight and even dated two guys. things happened and im not attracted to any gender now, but it gets really annoying when people ask 'how are you asexual if you've dated guys?'

idk how to explain it to them considering my reasoning is rather difficult to explain ._. but yeah..im not sure if its common to just change sexualities like that


----------



## pafupafu

whoops, i'm a lesbian. i've met a lot of cute girls and i'd love to get to know them more but i'm so shy... also i'm nervous about relationships because most of my past relationships ended in abuse so its a touchy subject.
i haven't told my family at all since every one of them is homophobic, honestly. my parents aren't so bad but my grandparents and aunt? don't even get me started. telling my parents wouldn't be so bad but i know word would get around and my distant family would probably end up disowning me or something crazy. i don't really feel comfortable telling them anyway.


----------



## Jake

OreoTerror said:


> They just said that it'd be a law instated in the next election, no matter what party gets in! Though Labour is more for it, Tony Abbott wanted to put it to a people vote, and statistics show that over 70% of Australians are pro same sex marriage, which means no matter what it'll happen! Though the next election won't be for ages seemly..



I thought it was in September it was that sth else


----------



## Cherry Kisses

I just came out to my mom.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Bump!


----------



## oswaldies

Cherry Kisses said:


> I just came out to my mom.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Bump!




I told my mom I was transgender a week ago and I was just crying the whole time ;w;


----------



## Cherry Kisses

same i came out as lesbian AND THE TEARS WOULDNT STOP


----------



## Knopekin

Good tears? Bad tears??? Hope you're both okay 

I'm 25, but I've been out for ages, and my family has always been wonderful - most recently being emotional pillars as I've been going through a really sad breakup.


----------



## Hai

How did your mother's react? 

I haven't told mine that I'm bisexual, since she's rather homophobic ._.
I don't think she needs to know though.


----------



## Cherry Kisses

Knopekin said:


> Good tears? Bad tears??? Hope you're both okay
> 
> I'm 25, but I've been out for ages, and my family has always been wonderful - most recently being emotional pillars as I've been going through a really sad breakup.



Good tears 

- - - Post Merge - - -



Hai said:


> How did your mother's react?
> 
> I haven't told mine that I'm bisexual, since she's rather homophobic ._.
> I don't think she needs to know though.



Only tell who you feel would take it well bb. Hope you're doing good x


----------



## radical6

dysphoria still makes me wanna kms tbh


----------



## PrincessSara

justice said:


> dysphoria still makes me wanna kms tbh



are you headed towards getting on hormones? or at least blockers?  they can make things a bit more manageable....I'm here if you want to talk hun <3 as someone with severe chronic illnesses/pain for the past 5 years + gender identity issues for 10, I'd love to hear your story.

also: Thread Resurrecting~


----------



## visibleghost

i've been meaning to come out to my mom as trans for over a year but i keep putting it off aaa!!! i'm really going to try to come out soon because i need it for my mental health smh i just can't deal with being called a she and my birthname by everyone irl.

also i found out that there's at least one other trans person at my school, which is cool. they're a year younger than me and i've never really spoken to them but it's still cool. 
Sadly most people in my year are super transphobic, last year I got some nasty rumours spread about me that involved me being transgender. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick of anxiety and anger. And a really disgusting part of it was that literally no teachers stopped them when they said transphobic stuff in class. Once I was in the school cafeteria eating when I heard this girl yelling "HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO STUPID THAT THEY THINK THEY'RE OF ANOTHER GENDER?" and lots of her friends laughed. The art teacher, that sat with them was like "Well it's just their opinion and you need to respect it " to her. and like. sure the art teacher didn't agree with her transphobia, but that's really not how you're supposed to handle a situation like that imo.
sorry if this psot was a mess ;;


----------



## radical6

lencurryboy said:


> i've been meaning to come out to my mom as trans for over a year but i keep putting it off aaa!!! i'm really going to try to come out soon because i need it for my mental health smh i just can't deal with being called a she and my birthname by everyone irl.
> 
> also i found out that there's at least one other trans person at my school, which is cool. they're a year younger than me and i've never really spoken to them but it's still cool.
> Sadly most people in my year are super transphobic, last year I got some nasty rumours spread about me that involved me being transgender. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick of anxiety and anger. And a really disgusting part of it was that literally no teachers stopped them when they said transphobic stuff in class. Once I was in the school cafeteria eating when I heard this girl yelling "HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO STUPID THAT THEY THINK THEY'RE OF ANOTHER GENDER?" and lots of her friends laughed. The art teacher, that sat with them was like "Well it's just their opinion and you need to respect it " to her. and like. sure the art teacher didn't agree with her transphobia, but that's really not how you're supposed to handle a situation like that imo.
> sorry if this psot was a mess ;;



i found this trans guy at my school. it was kinda weird bc hes a year older but we have been going to the same school (elm, middle, now highschool) for years and never knew. im not really out irl

like, im out to my mom and she doesnt give a **** and acts like i never told her so i was like..whatever. i have a couple friends who use they/them pronouns for me, and i have some friends who have no idea what being trans is. 

my highschool is more chill about stuff i suppose. sucks to hear you had that happen to you. 

for teachers, it can be tricky. they cant show theyre taking sides. i understand how you feel. my friend basically almost got raped by another boy and the teacher couldnt take sides. it was pretty awful for her honestly.

- - - Post Merge - - -



PrincessSara said:


> are you headed towards getting on hormones? or at least blockers?  they can make things a bit more manageable....I'm here if you want to talk hun <3 as someone with severe chronic illnesses/pain for the past 5 years + gender identity issues for 10, I'd love to hear your story.
> 
> also: Thread Resurrecting~



nah im too poor and mom doesnt even approve of me taking my current antidepressants


----------



## Chris

Cherry Kisses said:


> I just came out to my mom.





oswaldies said:


> I told my mom I was transgender a week ago and I was just crying the whole time ;w;





Knopekin said:


> Good tears? Bad tears??? Hope you're both okay
> 
> I'm 25, but I've been out for ages, and my family has always been wonderful - most recently being emotional pillars as I've been going through a really sad breakup.




You're brave people. I'm 23, known I wasn't completely straight since  age 13, and never told my parents. I'm in a heterosexual relationship and so so happy in it?my boyfriend is amazing, matches me perfectly, and I love him so much?but my family has no clue that I'm pansexual. I swear my mother has known for at least five years that I must be at least bi even though she acts oblivious. 




justice said:


> dysphoria still makes me wanna kms tbh



If you ever wanna chat I'm here. Can't say I completely understand, but I went through a seven year period of hell in my teens in relation to gender issues. I'm not going to go into detail publicly but if you'd like to talk PM me / ask for Skype and I'd be glad to talk/listen.


----------



## bigger34

I've been wanting to come out to my parents as gay for the longest time now but I've heard from other places how some parents have reacted, kicking them out or ruining their close relationships, and I just always chicken out. I've been wanting to for 6 years now, ever since I was positive that I was gay but I am very close to my mom and my dad doesn't exactly like gay people. -sighs-


----------



## visibleghost

justice said:


> i found this trans guy at my school. it was kinda weird bc hes a year older but we have been going to the same school (elm, middle, now highschool) for years and never knew. im not really out irl
> 
> like, im out to my mom and she doesnt give a **** and acts like i never told her so i was like..whatever. i have a couple friends who use they/them pronouns for me, and i have some friends who have no idea what being trans is.
> 
> my highschool is more chill about stuff i suppose. sucks to hear you had that happen to you.
> 
> for teachers, it can be tricky. they cant show theyre taking sides. i understand how you feel. my friend basically almost got raped by another boy and the teacher couldnt take sides. it was pretty awful for her honestly.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> nah im too poor and mom doesnt even approve of me taking my current antidepressants



oh wow cool 

yeah i know they can't take sides but my school is like "no bullying allowed!!!!! if someone ever is rude to anyone then they are The Worst!!! no bullying!!" but when something sctually happens they're just like "?\_(ツ)_/? "

im sorry avout your friend, that's really ****ed up


----------



## radical6

lencurryboy said:


> oh wow cool
> 
> yeah i know they can't take sides but my school is like "no bullying allowed!!!!! if someone ever is rude to anyone then they are The Worst!!! no bullying!!" but when something sctually happens they're just like "?\_(ツ)_/? "
> 
> im sorry avout your friend, that's really ****ed up



schools are typically like that. thats why despite the 8393020 programs about bullying they show us, nothing actually happens. i was harassed and stalked by a boy for a while, they didnt do anything. told me to just block him. he kept finding new phones to use to call me and i was getting so fed up i threatened to bring it up to his schools principal.. yeah i had to do it myself

considering the fact i almost got my eyes stapled in class by a 13 yr old girl and the teacher didnt care.. im not shocked tbh 

is there a gsa at your school? perhaps talk to someone there. ik theyre just gay not trans but its better than anything else

- - - Post Merge - - -



Tina said:


> If you ever wanna chat I'm here. Can't say I completely understand, but I went through a seven year period of hell in my teens in relation to gender issues. I'm not going to go into detail publicly but if you'd like to talk PM me / ask for Skype and I'd be glad to talk/listen.


im fine mostly i just try to sleep or do hobbies to keep my attention away from my dysphoria but its just when i perform at concerts it gets bad. like i wore a tie to one jazz band performance and i got yelled at and it made me really upset to be in a dress for the concert. like i wear dresses in everyday life bc its all i have but i just wanted to wear a tie for once for the concert (girls = dresses dudes = suits) so i got uncomfortable wearing a dress. oh well


----------



## Dinosaurz

Lol, in a hotel in Margate, pride just marched pass xD. So many fabulous rainbows. And a police man was holding a rainbow. Ahh how I do love pride xD. Even though I'm straight, I gotta love it .


----------



## visibleghost

justice said:


> schools are typically like that. thats why despite the 8393020 programs about bullying they show us, nothing actually happens. i was harassed and stalked by a boy for a while, they didnt do anything. told me to just block him. he kept finding new phones to use to call me and i was getting so fed up i threatened to bring it up to his schools principal.. yeah i had to do it myself
> 
> considering the fact i almost got my eyes stapled in class by a 13 yr old girl and the teacher didnt care.. im not shocked tbh
> 
> is there a gsa at your school? perhaps talk to someone there. ik theyre just gay not trans but its better than anything else
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> im fine mostly i just try to sleep or do hobbies to keep my attention away from my dysphoria but its just when i perform at concerts it gets bad. like i wore a tie to one jazz band performance and i got yelled at and it made me really upset to be in a dress for the concert. like i wear dresses in everyday life bc its all i have but i just wanted to wear a tie for once for the concert (girls = dresses dudes = suits) so i got uncomfortable wearing a dress. oh well


 
oh wow that's..... ugh ):

no, there are no such thing as a gsa at my school (or in my country lol, we don't really have school clubs here??)


----------



## Bjork

ohmygod

i have this lunch table i sit with from kids at my old school (but theyre the ones i dont really like that much but i only have like one other friend that i know in my lunch period [thanks school!!! i have at least like 30 friends and NONE of them are in my lunch except like one how convenient] and idk where my other friend goes during lunch jjjj) and there's this one kid who brings his friend or something who abuses the f-word (you know which one, and he said it like at least 4 times in the 23ish minute lunch period) and i was like 4 5 seconds from slapping him across the face i swear but i dont know what to do because otherwise i have nobody else to sit with besides him and some super christian who probably hates me because im jewish

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


----------



## visibleghost

Bjork said:


> ohmygod
> 
> i have this lunch table i sit with from kids at my old school (but theyre the ones i dont really like that much but i only have like one other friend that i know in my lunch period [thanks school!!! i have at least like 30 friends and NONE of them are in my lunch except like one how convenient] and idk where my other friend goes during lunch jjjj) and there's this one kid who brings his friend or something who abuses the f-word (you know which one, and he said it like at least 4 times in the 23ish minute lunch period) and i was like 4 5 seconds from slapping him across the face i swear but i dont know what to do because otherwise i have nobody else to sit with besides him and some super christian who probably hates me because im jewish
> 
> eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



that kid sounds like the worst ):<

there are ppl at my school who use tons of slurs too and i honestly want to throw some chairs on them whenever they do it :I


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

lencurryboy said:


> that kid sounds like the worst ):<
> 
> there are ppl at my school who use tons of slurs too and i honestly want to throw some chairs on them whenever they do it :I



My school was actually quite good, there were very few homphobic people there. There were a couple kids who teased me about being gay (I'm actually pan but I've only came out to a couple very select people so idk if they actually knew or were just messing around) but other than that I don't think I've heard any homophobic comments or slurs or anything.

I'm about to start college soon though and I don't know anyone there. Hopefully they're as open minded as the people from the last school.


----------



## crystalchild

i want this thread back up on page one cuz being gay is SWAG.

personally i haven't talked much about my orientation with my family... i've mentioned being asexual to my mother, not gay though. it's not that i don't think they'd accept me, i just don't feel like it's any of their business? i'll deal with it if i ever get a partner to introduce them to, haha. :'')


----------



## Juurii

I tried to come out as being bi when I was young and my mom did that whole "uuuuhhh it's just a phase" thing and told me that I was doing it for attention. my dad was p supportive. 
but now i'm pan and pretty genderfluid/androgynous gender wise and I don't think i'll ever tell my mom. 
her whole side of the family is pretty judgmental so they'll just have to get over it if I ever bring a girl home to introduce lol


----------



## KantoKraze

i'm rlly gay and i put up with a lot of discrimination at my home. i've been kicked out and abused and told that i was hated, told that i was worthless. that i'm disguisting. that all people like me should die. but i'm okay i guess though. i know that people out there do care, and that's really what i focus on.
but anyway, if any of you lgbt+ users are having troubles and need to vent, my ears are always open. just keep your head high and be who you really are. and always know that people do love you.


----------



## Shimmer

I hate when bisexual people in opposite sex relationships get spat on by the community.


----------



## Llust

advice would be much appreciated, im really confused about everything rn ><

ive had two boyfriends in the past, but that was like three to four years ago -- those relationships are irrelevant to me now. its difficult to explain it clearly, but basically, ive dealt with things, expectations were always let down, insecurity got the best of me, etc etc..so i cant imagine myself in any type of relationship at all which includes being romantic and seductive. in other words, i have no intentions of having a boyfriend at all

its not that i dont think 'damn he's cute' every now and then, but thats it. i never have fantasies let alone trying make moves on people. there's a lot of info concerning this that im unsure about and left out of this post, i really dont have anyone to talk to about this..so if you're serious about supporting me, sending a pm offering advice would be helpful

im honestly not even sure what to label myself as anymore. i do get attracted to people, but that has its limits..im really not sure how to explain it, but i guess being attracted to someone for me has specific requirements


----------



## visibleghost

soushi what about grayromantic/demiromantic (or sexual) it's kinda like asexual but not really, like you could be attracted very little or just sometimes?? ;; (im not an dxpert so if i'm a bit wrong sorry )x )


----------



## crystalchild

sexual/romantic orientation can be a pretty complex and confusing issue! but i agree with lencurryboy that somewhere in the gray-aroace area seems like it might be accurate. if you want to talk more in detail about it, you are free to message me. :')


----------



## Bjork

i dont know why but i cant bring myself to say something to my really really close friends like

ive known them for 9 years and they wont care + be super supportive but like i just cant for some reason


----------



## Cherry Kisses

Bump!


----------



## Gregriii

I find funny how the boys of my class think I'm gay just because I don't give signals of being straight

Tbh I've been bullied for years (it started when I was 7) just because I liked pinkish colors and "girly" series. I also liked the twilight saga and I tend to gesticulate a lot, I don't like sports and I prefer hanging out with girls than with boys. What is funny about this is that my parents also think I'm gay. I remember that my mom told me a year ago "I know you're gay but you don't want to come out, it's fine, I'll accept you no matter what" I was like "Are you being serious" and my dad (homophobic racist machist) sometimes, when I do silly things like talking in a "super typical gay" way, he looks and me and I'm pretty sure he thinks something like "Oh god why I have a ****** as son???" 

People is constantly asking me if I'm gay too.

Am I gay?? Tbh honest I don't want to label myself because of stereotypes "If you're straight you're an ******* that only wants to catch a big good booty" "If you're gay you love every man of the earth and you want to eat his ****" "If you're bisexual you are obsessed with sex" "if you're asexual it is because you haven't licked a good *****" and etc. Like mmm I'll do what I want with my life because IT'S my life and If I want to date a boy/girl I'll simply do it and I won't spend any second of my life saying "Oh yeah and I'm bisexual/pansexual/straight/gay" 

But I have to admit that If I had to be labelled I would consider myself asexual (maybe bisexual in a few years) because relations are gross. Although I like a girl but whatever


----------



## Sporge27

Here's the thing, you don't have to follow stereotypes.  

Gay just means you are only attracted to the same sex as yourself, bi means you have been attracted to both, and straight means you've only been attracted to the opposite sex.  You honestly won't know for sure until you are nearing adulthood, there is a often period you start noticing changes but have yet to figure out what you are attracted to.

That is all those labels means to me, I try my best to ignore other stigma.  Avoiding labels yourself won't stop others from labeling you and judging you based on stereotypes.  Other people have it ten times worse since some things people stereotype can't be hidden.  It isn't fair, it can't be fair, and it is unfortunate.  You judge others to unfairly, often unconsciously.  Try to catch yourself when you do and make up for it and it is the best you can do.


----------



## Knopekin

There's a load of pressure to label yourself, especially on the internet (where you can be more without judgement than real life mostly), but it's difficult if you firmly 'come out' as something, but then realise that maybe you're more bi than gay, or not as asexual as you thought, and people sometimes then feel bad for betraying the community. Don't feel pressure to label yourself, you don't have to figure everything out right away!


----------



## pastellrain

I have no idea if I'm bi, gay or asexual to be honest
I just know one thing: I LOVE GIRLS


----------



## visibleghost

lol my mom has asked me like three times if i would rather be a boy and i know that i should probably tell her but she just asks at so awkward times and idk..... i just try to ignore my gender atm it's just too much. i've had to deal with a lot of misgendering (obviously since i'm not out lol) and transphobia and i'm just really tired of everything. 
i wish gender would stop being super important. like ofc gender should exist but it would be soooo much better if people didn't gender everyone and everything.... i just hate it so much my gender shouldn't matter to other people that much.

i'm feeling really invalid atm becuase i'm not super masculine. i know gender stereotypes don't matter and stuff but i just feel so disconnected to everything gender related and all i know is that i'm a boy.... but that i'm not?? a man??? idk. i just hate this a lot and i wish i could just be a boy and that would be fine with everyone, but that's not really how it works.. idk i'm just really disconnected to gender and society in general and it sucks a lot


----------



## milkday

i mentioned maybe being genderfluid and my friend said really aggressively "YOU'RE 100% GIRL"


----------



## visibleghost

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> i mentioned maybe being genderfluid and my friend said really aggressively "YOU'RE 100% GIRL"



wtf what's up with your friend


----------



## Saylor

I haven't actually told my mom (or any of my family) that I'm gay yet but she suspects that I am and she's been really pressuring me to come out. I would just tell her since she pretty much already knows anyway, and I want to tell her, but ever since she's known she's been acting hostile towards me and I feel like our relationship has worsened. I'm not totally sure if that's because of my sexuality and she's told me that she's fine with it, but it doesn't really seem like she is and I'm kind of afraid of what'll happen to our relationship when I do come out.


----------



## Bowie

Saylor said:


> I haven't actually told my mom (or any of my family) that I'm gay yet but she suspects that I am and she's been really pressuring me to come out. I would just tell her since she pretty much already knows anyway, and I want to tell her, but ever since she's known she's been acting hostile towards me and I feel like our relationship has worsened. I'm not totally sure if that's because of my sexuality and she's told me that she's fine with it, but it doesn't really seem like she is and I'm kind of afraid of what'll happen to our relationship when I do come out.



I'd ask her about it and shoot down her worries. There's gotta be something bothering her about it, and it may not be your sexuality, but perhaps an aspect of it, such as sexual diseases. Unless she's super religious or something, there must be something else to it.


----------



## Soda Fox

Saylor said:


> I haven't actually told my mom (or any of my family) that I'm gay yet but she suspects that I am and she's been really pressuring me to come out. I would just tell her since she pretty much already knows anyway, and I want to tell her, but ever since she's known she's been acting hostile towards me and I feel like our relationship has worsened. I'm not totally sure if that's because of my sexuality and she's told me that she's fine with it, but it doesn't really seem like she is and I'm kind of afraid of what'll happen to our relationship when I do come out.



I agree with what Bowie said.  There might be something more to it.  And, you know, I always figure it's better to be open and honest right away.  The sooner she knows the truth about you, the sooner she can get over whatever it is she is dealing with internally.  Sure, things might go south, but they might end up really well, too.  But I don't see any reason to keep it secret to your family unless you're dependant on them and fear getting kicked out.


----------



## Knopekin

Saylor said:


> I haven't actually told my mom (or any of my family) that I'm gay yet but she suspects that I am and she's been really pressuring me to come out. I would just tell her since she pretty much already knows anyway, and I want to tell her, but ever since she's known she's been acting hostile towards me and I feel like our relationship has worsened. I'm not totally sure if that's because of my sexuality and she's told me that she's fine with it, but it doesn't really seem like she is and I'm kind of afraid of what'll happen to our relationship when I do come out.



Maybe she's hurt and thinks that you don't trust her enough to tell her? If I had a kid who was probably not-straight, I'd want them to be able to tell me and would probably try and encourage them to do so, and might be hurt if they didn't. If you're not out she can't really support you (emotionally or otherwise), and that puts a parent in a pretty difficult position. Obviously you know your relationship with your mum better than I do, but honesty is usually the best policy with relationships of any kind. 

Sorry it's awkward though


----------



## tumut

Saylor said:


> I haven't actually told my mom (or any of my family) that I'm gay yet but she suspects that I am and she's been really pressuring me to come out. I would just tell her since she pretty much already knows anyway, and I want to tell her, but ever since she's known she's been acting hostile towards me and I feel like our relationship has worsened. I'm not totally sure if that's because of my sexuality and she's told me that she's fine with it, but it doesn't really seem like she is and I'm kind of afraid of what'll happen to our relationship when I do come out.


I don't think it could get any worse if that's how it is so i'd just get over it. I'd love to come out completely but I have no idea how my guy friends would react and if I'd lose them, they're also some of my only friends. Though no one has suspected me of being gay ever, and my Mom and Sister are the only people who know. If I move back with my mom this winter and change schools I'll definitely be ready then.


----------



## Bwazey

Saylor said:


> I haven't actually told my mom (or any of my family) that I'm gay yet but she suspects that I am and she's been really pressuring me to come out. I would just tell her since she pretty much already knows anyway, and I want to tell her, but ever since she's known she's been acting hostile towards me and I feel like our relationship has worsened. I'm not totally sure if that's because of my sexuality and she's told me that she's fine with it, but it doesn't really seem like she is and I'm kind of afraid of what'll happen to our relationship when I do come out.



My mother actually did the same thing. But when I came out she was just ashamed of who I was. So it doesn't always mean she'll understand. But hopefully the connect with you and your mother is stronger than what mine was with my mother when I basically was forced to come out.

Good luck!


----------



## Saylor

Bowie said:


> I'd ask her about it and shoot down her worries. There's gotta be something bothering her about it, and it may not be your sexuality, but perhaps an aspect of it, such as sexual diseases. Unless she's super religious or something, there must be something else to it.


Yeah, that's true. She just seems to be kinda disappointed in me whenever it comes up, but I'm not sure why she would be or if there's something else to it, or maybe I'm just totally misinterpreting her attitude about it.



Soda Fox said:


> I agree with what Bowie said.  There might be something more to it.  And, you know, I always figure it's better to be open and honest right away.  The sooner she knows the truth about you, the sooner she can get over whatever it is she is dealing with internally.  Sure, things might go south, but they might end up really well, too.  But I don't see any reason to keep it secret to your family unless you're dependant on them and fear getting kicked out.


I agree it's probably best to be honest about it as soon as I can and that's part of what's been bothering me, because I hate feeling like I'm keeping something from her. I've been worried because my mom can be a little unpredictable so it's hard to tell how she may react. She has kicked me out before (not for very long, though), so that worries me a little too, but I think if she was going to do that she probably would've already done it by now. I'll be moving out soon anyway and she'll figure it out sooner or later, so I guess I don't have much to lose. I'll try to be more upfront to her next time we talk!


Knopekin said:


> Maybe she's hurt and thinks that you don't trust her enough to tell her? If I had a kid who was probably not-straight, I'd want them to be able to tell me and would probably try and encourage them to do so, and might be hurt if they didn't. If you're not out she can't really support you (emotionally or otherwise), and that puts a parent in a pretty difficult position. Obviously you know your relationship with your mum better than I do, but honesty is usually the best policy with relationships of any kind.
> 
> Sorry it's awkward though


That would make sense. I've never had a super close relationship with my mom and have always kept things to myself in the past, but I guess in this case she can tell that I'm keeping something from her so I can understand how she'd be hurt. I hadn't really thought of that.



Lixx said:


> I don't think it could get any worse if that's how it is so i'd just get over it. I'd love to come out completely but I have no idea how my guy friends would react and if I'd lose them, they're also some of my only friends. Though no one has suspected me of being gay ever, and my Mom and Sister are the only people who know. If I move back with my mom this winter and change schools I'll definitely be ready then.


That's true too. I mean, whether or not it gets any worse, I'm mostly concerned about how my mom might think of me after I come out. I know I maybe shouldn't care so much, but she's the only person in my family who I sort of get along with, so I'd hate to lose that. Good luck with coming out this winter, if you do! I hope everything goes well for you.



Bwazey said:


> My mother actually did the same thing. But when I came out she was just ashamed of who I was. So it doesn't always mean she'll understand. But hopefully the connect with you and your mother is stronger than what mine was with my mother when I basically was forced to come out.
> 
> Good luck!


I'm really sorry your mom reacted that way.  Like I said before I'm moving out soon, so I'm kinda lucky in that sense, but either way I'd hate to be on bad terms with my mom, so I'm so sorry that yours wasn't as understanding. I'm sorry you were forced to come out, too. I think that should only happen when you're completely ready, if you even want to at all.

Thank you so much everyone!  I'm gonna try to  more honest with her and hopefully everything will be okay.


----------



## Vida

Saylor, I can definitely relate, just that I already have come out to my Mom and although she said she doesn't mind, it doesn't seem like it at all. She's acting so weird about it. She once said that as long as I'll have a child, she couldn't care less about my sexuality which I thought was really rude, because really, shouldn't I be the one to decide whether I want a child or not?

I wish you all the best with your Mom. If you like to talk more about it, you can PM me anytime.


----------



## Knopekin

Hahaha, it was a lot of advice to come back to! Best of luck figuring everything out


----------



## Saylor

Vida said:


> Saylor, I can definitely relate, just that I already have come out to my Mom and although she said she doesn't mind, it doesn't seem like it at all. She's acting so weird about it. She once said that as long as I'll have a child, she couldn't care less about my sexuality which I thought was really rude, because really, shouldn't I be the one to decide whether I want a child or not?
> 
> I wish you all the best with your Mom. If you like to talk more about it, you can PM me anytime.


My mom acts really weird about it, too. She's usually the one who brings up my sexuality to begin with and then she acts disappointed and sometimes a little angry afterwards, and we've been fighting a lot ever since she first started bringing it up. She also wants me to have a child (like actually give birth), so maybe like Bowie said, there could be a different aspect as to why she's disappointed and that could be part of it. Anyway, I agree it's rude to bring that up because it is your decision.

Thank you so much! I'll keep that in mind and you're always welcome to PM me as well if you ever wanna talk more about it. 



Knopekin said:


> Hahaha, it was a lot of advice to come back to! Best of luck figuring everything out


Thank you again.  I really appreciate it.


----------



## tumut

Lixx said:


> I don't think it could get any worse if that's how it is so i'd just get over it. I'd love to come out completely but I have no idea how my guy friends would react and if I'd lose them, they're also some of my only friends. Though no one has suspected me of being gay ever, and my Mom and Sister are the only people who know. If I move back with my mom this winter and change schools I'll definitely be ready then.


Oops I meant get it over with not get over it , that actually makes it sound a little bit rude.
Anyway best of luck with that. Hope you can get everything sorted out.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Saylor said:


> I haven't actually told my mom (or any of my family) that I'm gay yet but she suspects that I am and she's been really pressuring me to come out. I would just tell her since she pretty much already knows anyway, and I want to tell her, but ever since she's known she's been acting hostile towards me and I feel like our relationship has worsened. I'm not totally sure if that's because of my sexuality and she's told me that she's fine with it, but it doesn't really seem like she is and I'm kind of afraid of what'll happen to our relationship when I do come out.



If she's really hostile to you, then might as well tell her and burn those bridges sooner rather than later.


----------



## Sporge27

Be careful with parents.  Sometimes they will surprise you and be super cool about it.  But not always.

Some just don't understand cause they haven't been through those feelings before.  Others are just surprised and caught off guard by the thought that their own children aren't "normal".  The worst though are the ones who have it ingrained that it is a horrible and despicable thing.  I think you can usually tell how your parents are likely to react, even if subconsciously.  The most important thing is to be ok with yourself first.  I kinda super repressed myself throughout high school.  I was terrified anyone would ever know.  Once I finally told someone in person it got easier, took a lot of self reflection.

I'm lucky my parents were cool and my grandparents even came to the wedding and were happy for me.  I was actually surprised by the grandparents being ok.  Basically when I first started accepting it myself, after I was already in college I had a  semi long distance relationship and he visited me during spring break.  My mom kinda understood it and just asked if he was a  friend or more.  I know she tried to make sure it didn't seem like a big deal just that I should mention that before bringing someone special home haha.


----------



## Bowie

Looks like I just found a word that better defines me than a person who chooses not to conform to stereotypical gender traits. "Androgynous" is the marvelous word I've discovered, and I think that's what I am.


----------



## RainCrossing

I'm against lesbians and gays, I'm sort of against bisexuals but I'm not against transgendered people or asexuals.


----------



## visibleghost

RainCrossing said:


> I'm against lesbians and gays, I'm sort of against bisexuals but I'm not against transgendered people or asexuals.



cool go away tho


----------



## cIementine

RainCrossing said:


> I'm against lesbians and gays, I'm sort of against bisexuals but I'm not against transgendered people or asexuals.



thanks for your discussion and support lol?


----------



## Cherry Kisses

*WTF???*



RainCrossing said:


> I'm against lesbians and gays, I'm sort of against bisexuals but I'm not against transgendered people or asexuals.



cool have fun being wildy hated on bye now go back to your tiny homophobic bubble


----------



## cIementine

Lixx said:


> omg I totally agree!



omg I only just realised what you were saying lol


----------



## Dinosaurz

RainCrossing said:


> I'm against lesbians and gays, I'm sort of against bisexuals but I'm not against transgendered people or asexuals.



I'm against you

- - - Post Merge - - -



Lixx said:


> omg I totally agree!



That took me way too long to understand lol


----------



## tumut

why was my post deleted lmao ???


----------



## cIementine

Lixx said:


> why was my post deleted lmao ???



i know! it's not like _you_ said anything wrong. maybe someone thought you were agreeing for real and didn't notice you changed the quote to 'homophobes are ew'


----------



## Jill

RainCrossing said:


> I'm against lesbians and gays, I'm sort of against bisexuals but I'm not against transgendered people or asexuals.



Thanks for the support, bro. >>;

People love who they love-  I just want to live in world where if I or anyone else happens to fall in love with a like gender, they won't be ridiculed. I believe sexuality exists on a spectrum- so while I may lean predominately towards men, I may at a later date become enamoured by another woman. It's not entirely unlikely as I have seen some women who are absolutely stunning. (and some I had to tell, they took it very well!) 

I don't see why people feel like they have to concern themselves with the affairs of others, so long as they are not literally on top of you doing the things you are so vehemently opposed to, I don't see where it is anyone's business but the two consenting people involved.


----------



## Acruoxil

Lixx said:


> why was my post deleted lmao ???



Either your post must've offended one of the members, or the mods removed it, possibly just to prevent any kind of  squabble.


----------



## Ghost Soda

RainCrossing said:


> I'm against lesbians and gays, I'm sort of against bisexuals but I'm not against transgendered people or asexuals.









kthxbai


----------



## GalacticGhost

I've never wanted a partner, and I don't want to have any children. I've felt that way for the past couple of years (even though I'm only 15), but never knew the actual term for it until fairly recently. I've never really 'came out' to anyone, but as far as I know, nobody has ever had feelings for me, so I never felt the need to.

Whenever somebody says something like 'When you grow up, get married and have kids...' I'm just like 'Ew. No. Stop.' I have nothing against people who do want a partner and to have children, but I hate when people assume that everyone does.


----------



## Shimmer

I find it satisfying that I can literally say such "gay comments" to people  such as how hot I find this chick with a nice rack and literally nobody questions me. I have not gotten one weird look or comment about it. I feel like college is so accepting with this stuff and it makes me smile and feel at home.


----------



## visibleghost

so uh
my mom has literally asked me if i'd "rather be a boy" two times?? and she brought it up to the therapist i'm gonna be seeing?? and. i  think i might have to come out soon, at least i'll have to talk about gender with her? he lp i've never had to talk about being trans irl and while i do want to live as the gender i am and i want to be called my real name and stuff, i don't want to have to deal w explaining it (i'll diE) and transphobia and stuff. uuuuuughghgh 
sometimes i just really, really wish i was cis. my life would be a lot easier if i was cis


----------



## 00jachna

I think I might be gay, I'm not sure though

(I'm a guy btw)


----------



## Titi

Thought you guys might wanna see this, a vid from the LGBT federation here in Spain, filmed in Madrid. (in english, no worries, subtitles available for the text in the beginning).


----------



## Beardo

Straight girls hurt my soul. You can't stand there and look that hot and then only like dudes ughh


----------



## Bowie

I love this so much.


----------



## RainCrossing

I will always be against lesbians and gays


----------



## visibleghost

RainCrossing wtf is your problem, just leave this thread. If you really need to let everyone know how homophobic you are, then sure go make a thread about it and see it get removed or w/e. But don't post homophobia in a thread for hbtq people, that's just messed up. it's not relevant in any way and you're not achievimg anything. leave.


----------



## Titi

RainCrossing said:


> I will always be against lesbians and gays



What the heck do you keep posting in this thread for? We get it, congratulations.
Now go mind your own business.


----------



## Aesthetic

RainCrossing said:


> I will always be against lesbians and gays



u like the villager beau and u said



RainCrossing said:


> Bam and Kid Cat!




in the villagers u hate thread, and they're both jocks!!! u r a gay stereotype in the closet with internalized homophobia


----------



## radical6

RainCrossing said:


> I will always be against lesbians and gays



im against myself too


----------



## cIementine

RainCrossing said:


> I will always be against lesbians and gays



and I will always be against homophobes, and absolute losers who feel the need to vocalise this a million times!


----------



## 00jachna

RainCrossing said:


> I will always be against lesbians and gays



Yes, we are aware of that.

Anything els?


----------



## Dinosaurz

RainCrossing said:


> I will always be against lesbians and gays



Yup, we all know that. Now can you kindly get off this page that says 'support' and go troll somewhere else. These people on here have been bullied, hurt, God knows what else. They came here for ACCEPTANCE not to be trolled by a 5 year old in a animal crossing forum.


----------



## cornimer

RainCrossing said:


> I will always be against lesbians and gays


Everyone is entitled to their opinions,  but this is a SUPPORT thread so therefore it is not the place for hate.  Please stop saying this.


----------



## RainCrossing

Geez Louise, hating jocks mean nothing about your sexuality. In fact, most people don't like them overall because they don't look to appealing.


----------



## cIementine

RainCrossing said:


> Geez Louise, hating jocks mean nothing about your sexuality. In fact, most people don't like them overall because they don't look to appealing.



are you really still here? since you have no intention of support, I think everyone would like you to back off.


----------



## Dinosaurz

RainCrossing said:


> Geez Louise, hating jocks mean nothing about your sexuality. In fact, most people don't like them overall because they don't look to appealing.



You don't look appealing but I don't complain.


----------



## Chris

Temporarily closing this thread.


----------



## Murray

Reopening thread.

The situation has been taken care of so let us please let us move past it. For future reference, if you see a post that may be regarded as inappropriate, please just *report it instead replying to it*.


----------



## Dinosaurz

Welcome back guys xD


----------



## riinasuu

How would you like someone to react to your news of being
homosexual, genderfluid, transgender, transsexual, etc?
Would you prefer someone to be happy and congratulate you on coming out?
Or would you prefer a more neutral response? 

I'm straight and live with an older sister whose pansexual and somewhat genderfluid, some 
days she'll feel more like a man, other days more like a woman (excuse my feminine pronouns!).
When she came out, I kind of shrugged and said okay, it didn't bother me and it's not as if it
made any difference. Which she ended up thanking me for being neutral. xD​


----------



## milkyi

I wish I could say that I'm Pansexual, yet my anxiety gets the better of me!


----------



## visibleghost

riinasuu said:


> How would you like someone to react to your news of being
> homosexual, genderfluid, transgener, transsexual, etc?
> Would you prefer someone to be happy and congratulate you on coming out?
> Or would you prefer a more neutral response?
> 
> I'm straight and live with an older sister whose pansexual and somewhat genderfluid, some
> days she'll feel more like a man, other days more like a woman (excuse my feminine pronouns!).
> When she came out, I kind of shrugged and said okay, it didn't bother me and it's not as if it
> made any difference. Which she ended up thanking me for being neutral. xD​



I'm trans and idk when I come out to my sister I'd like her to react like "okay then I know" and for her to start using the correct pronouns and name. If she has any questions she could ask them. My sister knows a lot about trans stuff though, so I'm not worried about her reacting in a bad way.
It would be a lot different if I had come out to my parents and they reacted like that though... but friends and siblings etc shouldn't really make that such a big deal about it imo ;; that would just be super awkward ;;


----------



## Titi

riinasuu said:


> How would you like someone to react to your news of being
> homosexual, genderfluid, transgender, transsexual, etc?
> Would you prefer someone to be happy and congratulate you on coming out?
> Or would you prefer a more neutral response?
> 
> I'm straight and live with an older sister whose pansexual and somewhat genderfluid, some
> days she'll feel more like a man, other days more like a woman (excuse my feminine pronouns!).
> When she came out, I kind of shrugged and said okay, it didn't bother me and it's not as if it
> made any difference. Which she ended up thanking me for being neutral. xD​



I made a thread about this not long ago. 
Neutral response please, I'm more terrified of congratulations and cheering than being hated on.


----------



## radical6

riinasuu said:


> How would you like someone to react to your news of being
> homosexual, genderfluid, transgender, transsexual, etc?
> Would you prefer someone to be happy and congratulate you on coming out?
> Or would you prefer a more neutral response?
> 
> I'm straight and live with an older sister whose pansexual and somewhat genderfluid, some
> days she'll feel more like a man, other days more like a woman (excuse my feminine pronouns!).
> When she came out, I kind of shrugged and said okay, it didn't bother me and it's not as if it
> made any difference. Which she ended up thanking me for being neutral. xD​



i would want them to just accept it, no unnecessary questions.
i mean my gender dysphoria is there..and i will explain it, but i wont answer anymore questions about what im gonna do abt it.
i dont really want a party either

of course i understand how coming out can be emotional bc some ppl face more homophobia/transmisogyny/transphobia etc than others.


----------



## KantoKraze

slowly beginning to accept the fact that I won't be able to fully come out of the closet until i graduate; i definitely wouldn't want to put myself in any more danger in this household. It makes me a little sad though, my current girlfriend is very kind and understanding, but i don't want her to feel like she is hidden away from everyone in my life. she says it's not a big deal, but i want her to know that i do care about her and that she's one of the most important people in my life. sometimes i wish that i could be as confident about my sexuality irl as i am online. if only, if only.


----------



## boujee

I have a few girls from school pull me to the side or openly say they like me and would like to go out 
And at first I'm like, I want to be in a relationship but then after thinking I'm like nah. I feel as though if we date I'm just going to be bored or maybe cause I'm too stress out to be in one like what can you do for me that I already can't do for myself? Maybe comfort. That seems nice. Basically anything that doesn't really involve sexual contact is nice
But then I feel like the girls who like me just like me cause I'm pretty then when we date I'm this btch and the cycle repeats


----------



## RiceBunny

riinasuu said:


> How would you like someone to react to your news of being
> homosexual, genderfluid, transgender, transsexual, etc?
> Would you prefer someone to be happy and congratulate you on coming out?
> Or would you prefer a more neutral response?
> 
> I'm straight and live with an older sister whose pansexual and somewhat genderfluid, some
> days she'll feel more like a man, other days more like a woman (excuse my feminine pronouns!).
> When she came out, I kind of shrugged and said okay, it didn't bother me and it's not as if it
> made any difference. Which she ended up thanking me for being neutral. xD​



I'm pansexual as well, and I'd like the response to just be neutral. I don't go around advertising it as I feel that would be weird. It'd be the equivalent of someone going around telling everyone close to them that they're straight. I know some people might say "but straight is the norm and we gay ppl are the minority". I don't see myself as any different. My sexual preference is my business, and should have no weight on how people treat me. So when I tell someone that I'm pansexual, I usually tell them as if it's no big deal, and the response is usually in the same tone, like it doesn't matter. I much prefer that than having someone be rly excited or judgmental about it. It concerns me when they are excited about it. If they're gay themselves, then I can somewhat understand where their excitement is coming from. However, if they're not gay, then their excitement creeps me out a bit.


----------



## radical6

this girl asked me to homecoming except i was asleep... oops..i said yes tho lmao


----------



## Sleepi

my first time posting in this thread, hello!  i'm 18, asexual and tbh it makes me cringe when people ask me about having a boyfriend (i feel slightly silly for it >.< ) and she/her pronouns.

also I might not post here much bc i'm on/off hiatus (depending on my college workload lol)


----------



## visibleghost

Sleepi said:


> my first time posting in this thread, hello!  i'm asexual and tbh it makes me cringe when people ask me about having a boyfriend (i feel slightly silly for it >.< )
> 
> also I might not post here much bc i'm on/off hiatus (depending on my college workload lol)



i'm asexual (n aromantic) as well and i totally feel u, it's like... welll........... uh... n o.

and then some people talk like romantic love is the only thing that makes someone human or whatever and that makes me feel like "-___- "


----------



## Sleepi

@lencurryboy hello!!  and yepp, the media makes love seem like the be all and end all, and i feel like nooope (i also hate other things the media portrays, like ppl need to conform to gender roles, like what the heck??)


----------



## visibleghost

Sleepi said:


> @lencurryboy hello!!  and yepp, the media makes love seem like the be all and end all, and i feel like nooope (i also hate other things the media portrays, like ppl need to conform to gender roles, like what the heck??)



yeah i agree on both things!! 
it'd be a lot nicer if people and the media were nicer and more open to people not being super masculine or feminine or not falling in love )x


----------



## Sleepi

lencurryboy said:


> yeah i agree on both things!!
> it'd be a lot nicer if people and the media were nicer and more open to people not being super masculine or feminine or not falling in love )x



definetly. I also think the media (and schools) should inform ppl about sexualities and gender identities, as the place I learnt about asexuality was tumblr (i just hope no one critisizes me for this but i'm sure no one on here would, someone did once and even called me na?ve for believing tumblr, when in my opinion without tumblr I wouldn't have learnt what these things were)


----------



## visibleghost

Sleepi said:


> definetly. I also think the media (and schools) should inform ppl about sexualities and gender identities, as the place I learnt about asexuality was tumblr (i just hope no one critisizes me for this but i'm sure no one on here would, someone did once and even called me na?ve for believing tumblr, when in my opinion without tumblr I wouldn't have learnt what these things were)



yeah i think that too

when when spoke about hbtq for the first time in class they said "hbt means homosexual, bisexual and transsexual ok that's it" and then let homophobes talk about how they would beat their friend up if he said he was gay................

we've learnt about it like once after that and then it was better, but still super brief. I think I haven't even heard the word asexual or aromantic being used in my school by teachers......... which is like...... well........  really ugh....


----------



## Sleepi

eurgh, homophobes >.< they really irritate me, if it's not your life dont judge others for theirs :I and yeah, I think that before ppl teach others about sexualities and gender identities they should at least do the research and teach about all of them, not just a few bc the people that are usually taught these things are young kids and they should know these things rather than leaving them confused.

just updated my earlier post, forgot to mention a few things like my age lol oops & i hope nothing i'm posting here is problematic >.<


----------



## Shimmer

I still don't get why someone's sexual preference defines them. People need to find a hobby instead of caring about who wants to bang who. Seriously.


----------



## radical6

Shimmer said:


> I still don't get why someone's sexual preference defines them. People need to find a hobby instead of caring about who wants to bang who. Seriously.


but then how else will i find who else is also a raging gay so we can d8


----------



## Celestefey

I'm seeing a counselor soon, wondering whether or not to talk about coming out issues? I've never openly discussed my sexuality with anyone in real life before. I've sort of mentioned I was kind of questioning my sexuality to a few people but I just say I'm heterosexual. I'm too afraid of having to face rejection... I know my parents wouldn't react well. I suppose I just want to find ways to cope. But again, I'm just afraid that if I tell my counselor, she'll tell my parents... I doubt she would, all of the information in counseling sessions is kept private and confidential, but my mum kept asking me what I was going to say in my counseling sessions... It's like ahhfjdnskmlms  nooooo. ;v; 

(I'm bisexual btw, seeing the counselor for reasons relating to depression though)


----------



## Vida

@Celestefey

Well, if you feel you can trust your counselor about this, then I say go for it! Bear in mind though that unfortunately, not all counselors are open-minded about sexual orientation. I'm not telling you this to make you feel scared. Rather I'm saying this so it's not too much of a surprise if the counselor really does react negatively. Most counselors should be fine anyway, just saying. 

Also, the counselor isn't allowed to talk about things discussed in sessions openly, so she will not talk about this to your parents. About your mom... Well, all I can say is that you're already 17 so you shouldn't feel the need to tell her something that you want to keep private. Just tell her it's none of her business what you're gonna talk to your counselor about. She has to understand this!


----------



## beemayor

Shimmer said:


> I still don't get why someone's sexual preference defines them. People need to find a hobby instead of caring about who wants to bang who. Seriously.



I know what you're intending to say, but also! Some people like having their sexuality/gender identity/etc. define them because it helps to give them a solid sense of self. I understand what you're saying, however, but it's also good to acknowledge that some people need their characteristics to define them.


----------



## piichinu

Sleepi said:


> my first time posting in this thread, hello!  i'm 18, asexual and tbh it makes me cringe when people ask me about having a boyfriend (i feel slightly silly for it >.< ) and she/her pronouns.
> 
> also I might not post here much bc i'm on/off hiatus (depending on my college workload lol)



LOL ppl ask me this every day and its a slow and painful thing to explain


----------



## Sleepi

@piichinu i don't even bother to explain, i'm like 'haha.. yeah' and then change subject rlly quick.


----------



## cornimer

Sleepi said:


> @lencurryboy hello!!  and yepp, the media makes love seem like the be all and end all, and i feel like nooope (i also hate other things the media portrays, like ppl need to conform to gender roles, like what the heck??)



I just wrote an essay about this for school.  Gender roles and the oversexualization of society.  So I'm glad someone understands me. XD


----------



## RainCrossing

My comment got deleted? Heya, I'm back .


----------



## Celestefey

Vida said:


> @Celestefey
> 
> Well, if you feel you can trust your counselor about this, then I say go for it! Bear in mind though that unfortunately, not all counselors are open-minded about sexual orientation. I'm not telling you this to make you feel scared. Rather I'm saying this so it's not too much of a surprise if the counselor really does react negatively. Most counselors should be fine anyway, just saying.
> 
> Also, the counselor isn't allowed to talk about things discussed in sessions openly, so she will not talk about this to your parents. About your mom... Well, all I can say is that you're already 17 so you shouldn't feel the need to tell her something that you want to keep private. Just tell her it's none of her business what you're gonna talk to your counselor about. She has to understand this!



Thanks so much. I haven't met with my counselor yet, I was just sort of planning certain things I could talk to her about! I suppose after a few sessions I'll be able to work out whether I can trust her with that information or not and such and I'll go from there. I don't really feel a need to come out to everyone but... It kind of sucks that I have to hold this in all the time because I fear being rejected for who I am. I can't help it or control it. It just hurts a lot when I hear my dad making homophobic jokes or comments, and I'm standing there trying to soak it up and act like I'm okay with it. I'm not okay with it! It really hurts my feelings a lot of the time, but I can't say it! My dad literally told me and my brother one day that he'd be "disappointed" if either me or my brother came out as 'not straight' (basically...) but he'd still accept us. Okay, so he'd "accept us" but be disappointed in us and make us feel like complete failures over something we cannot even control? I don't know. It just hurts. I'm glad that I have supportive friends on the internet though who I can talk to about it and we share the same problems so it makes it easier knowing I'm not the only one suffering through this.

And yeah, I keep telling her that I just want it to be kept between me and the counselor, I say it's because I want a "neutral person" to talk to it about! I don't want to tell people everything, she needs to accept that. She's always going on about how I'm an 'adult' now so she should treat me like one too and respect my privacy.

But thanks so much for your help! ;v; I'm really grateful.


----------



## pafupafu

Shimmer said:


> I still don't get why someone's sexual preference defines them. People need to find a hobby instead of caring about who wants to bang who. Seriously.



but my gayness is such a big part of my personality

A lot of people are into dating, so obviously sexual/romantic preference can be a big deal. Most of the people who use this forum seem to be older teens and people in their early 20s, according to the age poll, so it would make sense; people generally are into dating and the likes at this age.


----------



## Shimmer

pafupafu said:


> but my gayness is such a big part of my personality
> 
> A lot of people are into dating, so obviously sexual/romantic preference can be a big deal. Most of the people who use this forum seem to be older teens and people in their early 20s, according to the age poll, so it would make sense; people generally are into dating and the likes at this age.



I mean those that don't intend to date the individual and literally judge the person on who they want to be with. Why does their sexuality matter on who they are as a person?


----------



## JellyDitto

Unpopular opinion : I feel like people that dont agree with homosexuality and etc shouldnt be put down. Also before i get berated for being homophobic, Im gay. 
Edit : I also feel like lgbt people that put down homophobes are just as ignorant as the homophobes themselves.


----------



## crystalchild

Shimmer said:


> I mean those that don't intend to date the individual and literally judge the person on who they want to be with. Why does their sexuality matter on who they are as a person?


yeah, in my opinion, someone's orientation shouldn't matter to you unless you're considering sexual/romantic relations with them, and the only judgment you should make based on the answer is whether such relations are a possibility or not. unfortunately this is a dream scenario and not always realistic in the world we live in. 

i don't feel like going out of my way to announce that i'm gay, it's a revelation that has to come naturally, or in some situations may be concealed to avoid attention. i really don't want it to be a big deal. the downside is that i can never find a date, hahaha.

- - - Post Merge - - -



JellyDitto said:


> Edit : I also feel like lgbt people that put down homophobes are just as ignorant as the homophobes themselves.


this better be a joke.


----------



## Soigne

JellyDitto said:


> Edit : I also feel like lgbt people that put down homophobes are just as ignorant as the homophobes themselves.



ahem,
what ?? i mean.
what


----------



## JellyDitto

Just because someone doesnt agree with your sexuality doesnt mean theyre not a good person. :/


----------



## gem83

I didn't even know this thread existed im so happy tbh


----------



## LovelyLavender

My two cents: You do you. Love who you want to love.


----------



## beemayor

JellyDitto said:


> Just because someone doesnt agree with your sexuality doesnt mean theyre not a good person. :/



Yes, it does. It's not all that different from disliking someone because of their race. Sexuality/gender identity are just as inherent as race; it's something you're born with. If someone says they don't like you or don't "agree" with you because you're gay, trans, etc. they're saying they don't like you because of a fundamental part of you that you have no way to change.

Homophobes are bad people, end of story.


----------



## LovelyLavender

beemayor said:


> Yes, it does. It's not all that different from disliking someone because of their race. Sexuality/gender identity are just as inherent as race; it's something you're born with. If someone says they don't like you or don't "agree" with you because you're gay, trans, etc. they're saying they don't like you because of a fundamental part of you that you have no way to change.
> 
> Homophobes are bad people, end of story.



I believe there is a difference between bad people and just being narrow minded.


----------



## beemayor

LovelyLavender said:


> I believe there is a difference between bad people and just being narrow minded.



If bad people and narrow-minded people do the same thing, then what's the difference? Some of the most homophobic and transphobic people I've met were just people who had good intentions. Intention matters very little when the things you say/do still hurt people.


----------



## visibleghost

JellyDitto said:


> Unpopular opinion : I feel like people that dont agree with homosexuality and etc shouldnt be put down. Also before i get berated for being homophobic, Im gay.
> Edit : I also feel like lgbt people that put down homophobes are just as ignorant as the homophobes themselves.



that is indeed an unpopular opinion. I think that if someone cannot respect other people for who they are they are not worth my positive attention. I don't think someone has to know everything about being hbtq+, I don't expect anyone to be a hundred percent not problematic. But if they cannot respect people as in literally just not fight against their rights, beat them up, call them slurs or in any other way restrict their lives or try to hurt them.

Hbtq+ people who do not accept that people hate them aren't just as ignorant, that is just ridiculous to say. It's not ignorant to not accept being hated and discriminated against.


----------



## radical6

so anyway i found this lesbian/bi/wlw dating app but its 18+ only and im  coz i wanna find cute gay girls in highschool to date


----------



## visibleghost

justice said:


> so anyway i found this lesbian/bi/wlw dating app but its 18+ only and im  coz i wanna find cute gay girls in highschool to date



haha good luck finding someone to date B)


----------



## Vida

Celestefey said:


> Thanks so much. I haven't met with my counselor yet, I was just sort of planning certain things I could talk to her about! I suppose after a few sessions I'll be able to work out whether I can trust her with that information or not and such and I'll go from there. I don't really feel a need to come out to everyone but... It kind of sucks that I have to hold this in all the time because I fear being rejected for who I am. I can't help it or control it. It just hurts a lot when I hear my dad making homophobic jokes or comments, and I'm standing there trying to soak it up and act like I'm okay with it. I'm not okay with it! It really hurts my feelings a lot of the time, but I can't say it! My dad literally told me and my brother one day that he'd be "disappointed" if either me or my brother came out as 'not straight' (basically...) but he'd still accept us. Okay, so he'd "accept us" but be disappointed in us and make us feel like complete failures over something we cannot even control? I don't know. It just hurts. I'm glad that I have supportive friends on the internet though who I can talk to about it and we share the same problems so it makes it easier knowing I'm not the only one suffering through this.
> 
> And yeah, I keep telling her that I just want it to be kept between me and the counselor, I say it's because I want a "neutral person" to talk to it about! I don't want to tell people everything, she needs to accept that. She's always going on about how I'm an 'adult' now so she should treat me like one too and respect my privacy.
> 
> But thanks so much for your help! ;v; I'm really grateful.



You're welcome! 

I can definitely relate a lot to what you said. I'm bisexual myself and I've basically come out to all people that are somewhat close to me, including my mother. I thought I could trust her with it but she didn't take it well and has been acting weird about it ever since I told her (which was last year by the way). I regret telling her, so yeah. At least, I don't live at home anymore, so she can't confront me with it all that much. My advice for you is, even though it is hard, I'd keep it to myself at least until you're independent and don't live at home anymore, especially since your dad has already said such things. If you have some friends (I mean in real life) that you feel safe to come out to, then start with them. I would keep the family out of this until the end. At least you have some supportive friends online! That's always good. If you like to talk more about it, feel free to PM me anytime!


----------



## Damniel

JellyDitto said:


> Just because someone doesnt agree with your sexuality doesnt mean theyre not a good person. :/



Agree? It's more of intolerance, sexuality isn't an opinion, it's a trait. It would be like saying a don't agree with a certain race, it's not a disagreement it's just not liking that race. You may like the fact someone is LGBT but you need to accept it because no matter what you think, that person is still LGBT. It's easier just to accept them than to try fighting over something you can't change.

And by definition, a Homophobe is:
Homophobe:a person who hates or is afraid of homosexuals or treats them badly.
Doesn't seem to different than a racist. Would you say racist are good people?


----------



## cornimer

Celestefey said:


> Thanks so much. I haven't met with my counselor yet, I was just sort of planning certain things I could talk to her about! I suppose after a few sessions I'll be able to work out whether I can trust her with that information or not and such and I'll go from there. I don't really feel a need to come out to everyone but... It kind of sucks that I have to hold this in all the time because I fear being rejected for who I am. I can't help it or control it. It just hurts a lot when I hear my dad making homophobic jokes or comments, and I'm standing there trying to soak it up and act like I'm okay with it. I'm not okay with it! It really hurts my feelings a lot of the time, but I can't say it! My dad literally told me and my brother one day that he'd be "disappointed" if either me or my brother came out as 'not straight' (basically...) but he'd still accept us. Okay, so he'd "accept us" but be disappointed in us and make us feel like complete failures over something we cannot even control? I don't know. It just hurts. I'm glad that I have supportive friends on the internet though who I can talk to about it and we share the same problems so it makes it easier knowing I'm not the only one suffering through this.
> 
> And yeah, I keep telling her that I just want it to be kept between me and the counselor, I say it's because I want a "neutral person" to talk to it about! I don't want to tell people everything, she needs to accept that. She's always going on about how I'm an 'adult' now so she should treat me like one too and respect my privacy.
> 
> But thanks so much for your help! ;v; I'm really grateful.



I know this wasn't directed at me, but I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel.  You said that your dad would be "disappointed" if you came out as "not straight"; my mom basically said the same thing.  What happened was we saw a family on TV with two gay sons, and my mom said "Wow, the parents must be so disappointed.  Now they won't have get any grandchildren".  She's not "against" LGBTQ people, but I know this means that she would be disappointed too if her children were "not straight".  And it kind of hurt me when she said this because (makes sure nobody around me is looking) I'm ace so I might not ever have children, and she'll probably disappointed in me.  And I want to think that she'd be accepting if I told her but I don't know so now I probably won't tell her.  ;w;


----------



## Celestefey

VanessaMay18 said:


> I know this wasn't directed at me, but I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel.  You said that your dad would be "disappointed" if you came out as "not straight"; my mom basically said the same thing.  What happened was we saw a family on TV with two gay sons, and my mom said "Wow, the parents must be so disappointed.  Now they won't have get any grandchildren".  She's not "against" LGBTQ people, but I know this means that she would be disappointed too if her children were "not straight".  And it kind of hurt me when she said this because (makes sure nobody around me is looking) I'm ace so I might not ever have children, and she'll probably disappointed in me.  And I want to think that she'd be accepting if I told her but I don't know so now I probably won't tell her.  ;w;



That really sucks. I think there is a lot of pressure that parents put on their children to have children themselves one day. It's a little bit selfish if you ask me. It's not the parent who will have to deal with another child, after all. It'll be you, ultimately, if you choose to have a child. They'll only see the nice side of their grandchild and won't have to deal with all of the trouble and hassle that comes with having a child again. And secondly, it's not their place to decide, after all! It's your life and you're in control of it, so you live it the way you want to. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to have children, there is nothing wrong with being ace. I'm sorry you've had to go through that too. I would hope though if you ever did tell your mum that you were ace that she would be accepting of you and your life choices. Just give it time and thought. I would suggest if she says things like that again to try and ask her why she thinks that, or ask what's wrong in not having children? Or you could say something like "having children shouldn't be your main aim in life, you should focus on travelling or fulfilling your life's dreams", at least that way you're sort of hinting towards her you're not interested without explicitly saying it.  It's not fun just constantly feeling like you will be a disappointment to your parents, but seriously, you aren't at all. What your parents think is not the be all or end all, in the end. That's what you have to try and remember, and I do try and tell myself that.


----------



## LovelyLavender

beemayor said:


> If bad people and narrow-minded people do the same thing, then what's the difference? Some of the most homophobic and transphobic people I've met were just people who had good intentions. Intention matters very little when the things you say/do still hurt people.



What about children? Are they bad people just because they don't understand the situation or/and don't consider other people's feelings? Intentions matters probably the most.


----------



## visibleghost

LovelyLavender said:


> What about children? Are they bad people just because they don't understand the situation or/and don't consider other people's feelings? Intentions matters probably the most.



uneducated people who are ignorant and realise that they're wrong when someone educates them aren't supe bad
but if it's "just my opinion!!! gay ppl suck!!!!!!!!!!!!" that'd ****ed up and wrong


----------



## LovelyLavender

*sigh* The English language is too vast and complicated for me to express my point better.

Let's see.....ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.
In a way, some people in this thread are practicing a form of bigotry.


----------



## beemayor

LovelyLavender said:


> What about children? Are they bad people just because they don't understand the situation or/and don't consider other people's feelings? Intentions matters probably the most.



Intention doesn't matter. Here's an example. I break your leg, but I intended it to be a funny joke. You get upset because I broke your leg, but I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to break your leg. Does that make me a bad person or does it make me someone who is just trying to help.


----------



## LovelyLavender

beemayor said:


> Intention doesn't matter. Here's an example. I break your leg, but I intended it to be a funny joke. You get upset because I broke your leg, but I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to break your leg. Does that make me a bad person or does it make me someone who is just trying to help.



That is considered bad intention though. How is breaking someone's leg a funny joke?


----------



## beemayor

LovelyLavender said:


> That is considered bad intention though. How is breaking someone's leg a funny joke?



It's not. That's the point. Congratulations. How is a homophobe's actions based in good intentions when all it does it hurt people?


----------



## LovelyLavender

beemayor said:


> It's not. That's the point. Congratulations. How is a homophobe's actions based in good intentions when all it does it hurt people?



No, it was a bad intention in the first place. Your example was how sociopathic people behave.


----------



## radical6

anyone else like hot gay girls? anyone? anyone?


----------



## Princess

justice said:


> anyone else like hot gay girls? anyone? anyone?



me


----------



## LovelyLavender

justice said:


> anyone else like hot gay girls? anyone? anyone?



*shrugs*


----------



## Officer Berri

"Hot gay girls" aren't there for your pleasure.

Jesus. I hate that. My apologies if you're joking, but this really gets under my skin as I'm sure my girlfriend and I wouldn't get away with being in a lesbian relationship because I'm not hot. Ew a fat chick lol she must be one of those lesbians who are super feminist and hate all men because one made her angry. lol

"I hate homosexual relationships they're just wrong. *looks at lesbian porn*" A pretty good example of certain men who only view women as there for their pleasure.

Man I've been up for 2 hours and already today Berri's had to put on her feminist/lgbtqa hat and keep it on. @_@ C'mon guys, why.


----------



## cIementine

Officer Berri said:


> "Hot gay girls" aren't there for your pleasure.
> 
> Jesus. I hate that. My apologies if you're joking, but this really gets under my skin as I'm sure my girlfriend and I wouldn't get away with being in a lesbian relationship because I'm not hot. Ew a fat chick lol she must be one of those lesbians who are super feminist and hate all men because one made her angry. lol
> 
> "I hate homosexual relationships they're just wrong. *looks at lesbian porn*" A pretty good example of certain men who only view women as there for their pleasure.
> 
> Man I've been up for 2 hours and already today Berri's had to put on her feminist/lgbtqa hat and keep it on. @_@ C'mon guys, why.



I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that was a joke aha.


----------



## LovelyLavender

Officer Berri said:


> "Hot gay girls" aren't there for your pleasure.
> 
> Jesus. I hate that. My apologies if you're joking, but this really gets under my skin as I'm sure my girlfriend and I wouldn't get away with being in a lesbian relationship because I'm not hot. Ew a fat chick lol she must be one of those lesbians who are super feminist and hate all men because one made her angry. lol
> 
> "I hate homosexual relationships they're just wrong. *looks at lesbian porn*" A pretty good example of certain men who only view women as there for their pleasure.
> 
> Man I've been up for 2 hours and already today Berri's had to put on her feminist/lgbtqa hat and keep it on. @_@ C'mon guys, why.



I'm sorry to be technical. But the term "hot" is opinion. I actually do prefer my partners chubby, because I am attracted to that.

Sorry I'll leave now.


----------



## Officer Berri

No, i understand that. It's just that the at large opinion of hot gay girls are the skinny college girls who have pillow fights and make out in their tiny little negligees.

That's what I'm reacting to. They probably meant it as a joke post, but it's been a source of frustration for me ever since I was a kid. One of the first times I noticed hypocrisy in action, actually!


----------



## LovelyLavender

Officer Berri said:


> No, i understand that. It's just that the at large opinion of hot gay girls are the skinny college girls who have pillow fights and make out in their tiny little negligees.
> 
> That's what I'm reacting to. They probably meant it as a joke post, but it's been a source of frustration for me ever since I was a kid. One of the first times I noticed hypocrisy in action, actually!


I give you a cyber hug. I hope it eases your frustration.


----------



## Gregriii

beemayor said:


> It's not. That's the point. Congratulations. How is a homophobe's actions based in good intentions when all it does it hurt people?



Well when an homophobe insults someone the person can decide to get offended or not, while you can't avoid having your leg broken


----------



## Esphas

cant we just agree the leg analogy was awful and arguing over it is futile because it didnt even make much sense in the first place? okay thanks


----------



## Officer Berri

Dude, like, why are you getting so worked up, man.

Like, just choose to not be offended with our dislike of how homophobes treat us like crap. ♥


----------



## RiceBunny

Something must be in the air today because there are too many angry people about in this forum today. Everyone needs to get off their computers, go outside and take a breather.

Anyways, does anyone else really like turtles? I've always wondered if some turtles can be gay. I mean, I've seen them trying to dry hump shoes and other misc. items, but I've never seen a male turtle try to dry hump another male turtle. Can anyone confirm dis?!


----------



## boujee

RiceBunny said:


> Something must be in the air today because there are too many angry people about in this forum today. Everyone needs to get off their computers, go outside and take a breather.
> 
> Anyways, does anyone else really like turtles? I've always wondered if some turtles can be gay. I mean, I've seen them trying to dry hump shoes and other misc. items, but I've never seen a male turtle try to dry hump another male turtle. Can anyone confirm dis?!



what kind of sht


----------



## LovelyLavender

Officer Berri said:


> Dude, like, why are you getting so worked up, man.
> 
> Like, just choose to not be offended with our dislike of how homophobes treat us like crap. ♥



You are a godsend


----------



## crystalchild

brewster's cafe sure is heated today. 

sexualization is probably one of the primary reasons i don't like to talk about my orientation a lot of the time. the whole "ooh hot lesbian, can i watch" phenomenon is something i hope never to experience. disgusting. 

i am also pretty ace, and having to try to convince someone that sexual and romantic orientation can differ is just too much effort. not to mention the fact that many can't even wrap their heads around the concept of asexuality in the first place.


----------



## cornimer

crystalchild said:


> brewster's cafe sure is heated today.
> 
> sexualization is probably one of the primary reasons i don't like to talk about my orientation a lot of the time. the whole "ooh hot lesbian, can i watch" phenomenon is something i hope never to experience. disgusting.
> 
> i am also pretty ace, and having to try to convince someone that sexual and romantic orientation can differ is just too much effort. not to mention the fact that many can't even wrap their heads around the concept of asexuality in the first place.



I know!  Everyone thinks that love=sex, and when you try to explain that you're not interested in the latter people assume that you're not interested in relationships at all.  But it's so not true.  Asexuals are just as capable as falling in love as other people are, we just aren't interested in the physical side.


----------



## RiceBunny

crystalchild said:


> brewster's cafe sure is heated today.
> 
> sexualization is probably one of the primary reasons i don't like to talk about my orientation a lot of the time. the whole "ooh hot lesbian, can i watch" phenomenon is something i hope never to experience. disgusting.
> 
> i am also pretty ace, and having to try to convince someone that sexual and romantic orientation can differ is just too much effort. not to mention the fact that many can't even wrap their heads around the concept of asexuality in the first place.



This^ I usually told any potential boyfriends at some point that I was pansexual, and if their response was "so you'be be into threesomes?" then I ran the other way ASAP.
Also, yes, just because you're sexually attracted to someone, it doesn't mean you're romantically attracted to them or vice and versa. People also have preferences. Sexual preferences are also a thing if you just like everything or more than one. It's ok to prefer one to the other, you're allowed and it doesn't mean anyone else can put a certain label on you. It saddens me when I see other people get shamed for having "too many girlfriends/boyfriends" when they say they're gay. Just because you're Bisexual it doesn't mean you have to have an equal amount of girlfriends/boyfriends.


----------



## cornimer

Celestefey said:


> That really sucks. I think there is a lot of pressure that parents put on their children to have children themselves one day. It's a little bit selfish if you ask me. It's not the parent who will have to deal with another child, after all. It'll be you, ultimately, if you choose to have a child. They'll only see the nice side of their grandchild and won't have to deal with all of the trouble and hassle that comes with having a child again. And secondly, it's not their place to decide, after all! It's your life and you're in control of it, so you live it the way you want to. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to have children, there is nothing wrong with being ace. I'm sorry you've had to go through that too. I would hope though if you ever did tell your mum that you were ace that she would be accepting of you and your life choices. Just give it time and thought. I would suggest if she says things like that again to try and ask her why she thinks that, or ask what's wrong in not having children? Or you could say something like "having children shouldn't be your main aim in life, you should focus on travelling or fulfilling your life's dreams", at least that way you're sort of hinting towards her you're not interested without explicitly saying it.  It's not fun just constantly feeling like you will be a disappointment to your parents, but seriously, you aren't at all. What your parents think is not the be all or end all, in the end. That's what you have to try and remember, and I do try and tell myself that.



Your post made me feel a little better, thanks.  c:  You're right, there really shouldn't be so much pressure on people to have children.  It's not for everyone.  Unfortunately for me, my mom just happens to really, really want grandchildren, which is why she often tries to hint to my sister and I that we should have lots of kids.  A few times when she brought up the topic of having kids I did say "You mean *if* I have kids", but she just responds by saying that one day I'll find a nice guy and have kids.  And inside I'm just like "Nooope".  

I have a close relationship with my mom, but I just know she wouldn't react well if I told her...oh well.  If/when I'm 35 and still don't have kids or a boyfriend, maybe then she'll understand.  XD

I really hope that things work out with your family too!


----------



## GalacticGhost

crystalchild said:


> brewster's cafe sure is heated today.



Agreed. Some people really need to chill. Of course, in a thread about a topic like this it's probably to be expected.

Boy, am I glad that there are no threads about religion...


----------



## Officer Berri

The fun thing is I'm asexual.  So I really don't understand the concept of sexual attraction. To me sex is an icky thought. I will only have to to make the babbles. Sex organs are creepy. xD

Also the heating of brewsters is probably my fault. I do tend to heat things up like a volcano when I get into such topics.

THIS. NON BINARY WHO IS FINE BEING CALLED GIRL FOR SIMPLICITY'S SAKE. IS ON FIYAAAAAA.


----------



## cornimer

SuperStar2361 said:


> Agreed. Some people really need to chill. Of course, in a thread about a topic like this it's probably to be expected.
> 
> Boy, am I glad that there are no threads about religion...



THAT would be a disaster.  Please nobody ever start one.  

- - - Post Merge - - -



Officer Berri said:


> The fun thing is I'm asexual.  So I really don't understand the concept of sexual attraction. To me sex is an icky thought. I will only have to to make the babbles. Sex organs are creepy. xD



This is exactly how I feel.  Isn't the Internet great?  It lets you know that you're not alone.  :')


----------



## Officer Berri

I don't think the site would be able to handle that. It would just melt into a puddle of goo.

Though I'm a non-confrontational pagan so I'd just sit and watch. And dance in the fire.

for the glory of satan of course


----------



## cornimer

Officer Berri said:


> I don't think the site would be able to handle that. It would just melt into a puddle of goo.
> 
> Though I'm a non-confrontational pagan so I'd just sit and watch. And dance in the fire.
> 
> for the glory of satan of course



Someone just started a religion thread...


----------



## Officer Berri

I'M GETTING MY DANCE READY. ♥♥♥


----------



## Shimmer

crystalchild said:


> brewster's cafe sure is heated today.
> 
> sexualization is probably one of the primary reasons i don't like to talk about my orientation a lot of the time. the whole "ooh hot lesbian, can i watch" phenomenon is something i hope never to experience. disgusting.
> 
> i am also pretty ace, and having to try to convince someone that sexual and romantic orientation can differ is just too much effort. not to mention the fact that many can't even wrap their heads around the concept of asexuality in the first place.



I actually had no idea that romantic and sexual orientation could be different until last year because my boyfriend told me about it. It's fascinating, it really is. It made me re-evaluate my sexuality. 

I used to think that I was biromantic but hetero with both romantically and sexually. When considering being sexually active with a girl, my first thought was about preforming oral which wasn't really my cup of tea but to be honest, preforming oral sex on a guy really isn't my cup of tea either. XD I mean, I would totally do it for my partner if they asked but I would never WANT to do it for the sake of doing it. I just want to please them. So the same would be with a same sex partner. I would do it if it pleased them.


----------



## crystalchild

lmao. well isn't this gonna get interesting.

to be completely honest, i actually appreciate some controversy from time to time, as long as it doesn't get out of hand. lets me know where people stand. can be illuminating.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Shimmer said:


> I mean, I would totally do it for my partner if they asked but I would never WANT to do it for the sake of doing it. I just want to please them.


this just happens to describe my attitude towards sex in general pretty well! i have no interest in sex for its own sake, but i'm not opposed to the idea of pleasing a partner if i loved them. but if they had strong sexual needs, chances are we wouldn't be very compatible. 

orientations can be very complex and fluid, and i assume a lot of people would reconsider theirs if they learned more about the subject. :')


----------



## radical6

Officer Berri said:


> "Hot gay girls" aren't there for your pleasure.
> 
> Jesus. I hate that. My apologies if you're joking, but this really gets under my skin as I'm sure my girlfriend and I wouldn't get away with being in a lesbian relationship because I'm not hot. Ew a fat chick lol she must be one of those lesbians who are super feminist and hate all men because one made her angry. lol
> 
> "I hate homosexual relationships they're just wrong. *looks at lesbian porn*" A pretty good example of certain men who only view women as there for their pleasure.
> 
> Man I've been up for 2 hours and already today Berri's had to put on her feminist/lgbtqa hat and keep it on. @_@ C'mon guys, why.



im gay

- - - Post Merge - - -



RainCrossing said:


> What's so big about gays?



i know right


----------



## Fearthecuteness

I haven't been on tbt for a while now. I go through patches where I don't come on tbt for ages but whenever I come back, I'm always pleased to see that this thread is still going.


----------



## gem83

RiceBunny said:


> This^ I usually told any potential boyfriends at some point that I was pansexual, and if their response was "so you'be be into threesomes?" then I ran the other way ASAP.



Oh god, yeah, I'm bi and I'm expecting the threesome line any day now. I've already been told that I need to make up my mind, and that I'm "straight but I just have a fetish" by someone who then told me he was gay. I was thinking, do you not understand how that feels lmao why would you say it to me?


----------



## Vida

^Oh man, Im sorry that happened to you. I know how that feels. Actually, I think we bi/pan people get more hate from the gay community than from straight people which is kinda ironic.


----------



## Shimmer

Vida said:


> ^Oh man, Im sorry that happened to you. I know how that feels. Actually, I think we bi/pan people get more hate from the gay community than from straight people which is kinda ironic.



I hate how that is. I feel like they feel we are "imposters" or something. Especially if you have an opposite gender partner, like good luck not getting hate.


----------



## boujee

I use 
Her majesty pronouns


----------



## Squidward

I'm a bit confused right now because I realised I may be asexual? Like I've never thought about it really but I absolutely never think about sex, touch myself or anything, I'm almost 18 now so I'm not a "late bloomer" or something. Even if it crosses my mind I'm just like "ya ok cool no ty". I have a boyfriend and I don't mind doing it for him (which is why that hasn't crossed my mind but seeing you guys post similar things here I'm a bit confused ok) but I'm never the one to start it, ever. Also when I call someone "sexy" and "hot" I actually mean more like "cute". I'm so confused and hnrrghhh
/endofrant


----------



## radical6

Vida said:


> ^Oh man, Im sorry that happened to you. I know how that feels. Actually, I think we bi/pan people get more hate from the gay community than from straight people which is kinda ironic.



bi/pan people dont get more hate from the gay community 

i really dont like people pushing this narrative that gay men and lesbians hate bi/pan ppl more than straight people do. its not helping anyone and its certainly not true. there is a lot of intracommunity conflict but in the end its horizontal oppressive struggle. lesbians and gay men dont hate bi/pans more than straights do and vice versa


----------



## Beardo

justice said:


> bi/pan people dont get more hate from the gay community
> 
> i really dont like people pushing this narrative that gay men and lesbians hate bi/pan ppl more than straight people do. its not helping anyone and its certainly not true. there is a lot of intracommunity conflict but in the end its horizontal oppressive struggle. lesbians and gay men dont hate bi/pans more than straights do and vice versa



Lol I don't see hate for bi/pan people,


----------



## Nightmares

I wish I was bi xD


----------



## Vida

justice said:


> bi/pan people dont get more hate from the gay community
> 
> i really dont like people pushing this narrative that gay men and lesbians hate bi/pan ppl more than straight people do. its not helping anyone and its certainly not true. there is a lot of intracommunity conflict but in the end its horizontal oppressive struggle. lesbians and gay men dont hate bi/pans more than straights do and vice versa



Well, I can only speak from my experience and I have definitely gotten more hateful comments from gay people (mainly lesbians) for being bi than from straight people. Many lesbians don't like bi girls.


----------



## Melchoir

Pansexual and proud as heck. I love being part of the LGBT+ community (most of the time!) especially on Twitter.


----------



## boujee

There's a thing called bi-erasure 
So I'm pretty sure there's a type of hate going around bi/pan people 
Not oh who hates more but it exist(can't erase that)


And I wish I can be loud and proud being in the lgbat community but nah
It's like a brick wall separation


----------



## Bowie

If you say you identify as a penguin, I'm going to be okay with that, whether I think it's ridiculous or not.

That's how I feel about all this bisexual hate stuff. I don't think people should judge other people for what they choose to identify as.


----------



## The Sundae

I'm a little late but lemme do a quick Biphobia 101 lesson to describe it as best as possible for those who don't know. There are many reasons why it exists and why bisexuals are hated, so I'll just organize them into a list by types and categories to avoid a wall of text. 

_Bear in mind that every "type of biphobia" can overlap and intermingle with other ones._

-----

*CATEGORY A *- "It's an act of deception/just pretending":

*TYPE A1*: This subscribes to the idea that bisexuals are pretending to be...well bisexual, because they want to stick out more. In other words, they want to be a "special snowflake" or want to be treated differently from the rest of the people around them in some way.
*TYPE A2*: This idea argues that gay people pretend to be bisexual because they are still in the closet. However, once they come to terms with their sexuality, they will "drop their shield" and finally come out. As a result, some people believe that bisexuals are actually just gay and that's it.
*TYPE A3*: This idea argues that someone pretends to be bisexual in order to trick someone else and get into their pants. And if questioned about it, that person will use "I'm bisexual" as an excuse to avoid stigma. So it's used as an outright act of deception. Bear in mind that A3 often overlaps with A1, except unlike A1, this belief is much more malicious in nature than sympathetic.

*CATEGORY B* - "Bisexuals are promiscuous":

*TYPE B1*: This idea believes in that bisexuals like having multiple partners, which is a pretty big stereotype. That by itself pisses off a lot of strict monogamists, which is another reason why bisexuals are actively hated.
*TYPE B2*: This idea also believes in the aforementioned stereotype. However, the hate is more out of fear that a bisexual will cheat on their loved ones and you wouldn't know who since their sexuality includes more than one gender.  Bear in mind that the people who use this argument are usually the kind of people who feel the need to compete for their lover's attention, or feel insecure when a person of an opposite sex comes near their lover (or same sex if we're talking about a same-sex couple).

*CATEGORY C* - "Bisexuals are confused":

*TYPE C1*: We all heard the "you are going through a phase" shtick, regardless if you're gay, bi, asexual, trans, pansexual, etc. However, this is kind of harmful because it leads to the belief that a bisexual person is "just confused", and most people don't  want to date a person that's unsure of their sexuality because of the high risk of the person not truly loving them back. And of course, that puts a foul taste in some mouths, which is another reason why bisexuals are distrusted and hated.
*TYPE C2*: Some people genuinely believe that it's impossible to be attracted to more than one gender. They just flat out don't believe it. This is in category C because I have no where else to put it. :V

------ 

Can't think of any other reasons on why bisexuals are hated. In regards to pansexuals, pretty much all of the above also applies. But it's also worthy to note that "pansexual" is a recently new term, so not a lot of people know about it yet, which can also lead to more erasure and a little hate. 


justice said:


> bi/pan people dont get more hate from the gay community
> 
> i really dont like people pushing this narrative that gay men and lesbians hate bi/pan ppl more than straight people do. its not helping anyone and its certainly not true. there is a lot of intracommunity conflict but in the end its horizontal oppressive struggle. lesbians and gay men dont hate bi/pans more than straights do and vice versa


Yes. Intracommunity conflict is the best way to describe it. There's a lot of it in the LGBT community as a whole, if you want to call it that. It's very heavily fragmented. There's a lot of hate between twinks and bears, butch & femme lesbians, trans men and trans women (heck, there's even conflict amongst their own kind because of gate-keeping), asexuals, non-binaries...pretty much everybody. I wish it wasn't like that though.

EDIT: Added a few things.


----------



## Penguin ^-^

Bowie said:


> If you say you identify as a penguin, I'm going to be okay with that, whether I think it's ridiculous or not.
> 
> That's how I feel about all this bisexual hate stuff. I don't think people should judge other people for what they choose to identify as.



I identify as a penguin. 

But, in all seriousness, it is really unfortunate that many bisexual individuals receive negative push back, even within the LGBTQ+ community. I know at my school, even with how progressive it is (has a GSA, kids are rarely picked on for being lesbian or gay, discrimination and harassment are usually taken pretty seriously, etc), bisexual kids get much of the same comments people have been talking about. We (my school and area, frankly) have a long way to go, especially when it comes to fighting biphobia and transphobia (which is a whole other issue in it of itself).


----------



## radical6

I never said biphobia wasn't real? I am bi? (Idk if some people were implying I didn't think it was real or not but if not ignore this) But saying that lesbian girls hate bi girls more than straight people is anything but wrong.

Yes, I know some lesbians have said awful things to bi girls, but bi girls have said awful things to lesbians.

I think it's important to remember we are both women loving women. (well unless the bi girl doesnt like girls, then whatever but im going with the assumption most bi girls are attracted to girls as well) 

Our enemy is not each other. 

If you want an enemy, the only person you can really blame are straight people.

But there is so much community shared between women loving women. I have received so much support from lesbian girls. They do not look down on me. There is a vocal minority.

But I have seen bisexual girls say harmful **** about lesbians. Does this mean bi girls are more lesbophobic than straight girls? No. 

I think it's perfectly fine to have healthy, respectful discussions on both sexualities. Ex bi girls do not face the same stigma as lesbians for liking girls. But framing one party as being more problematic or "privileged" isn't really right, you know?

It's a really thin line and hating each other won't help the community as a whole in anyway.


----------



## Penguin ^-^

Just wanted to post this because *oh my goodness statistics are terrifying* ._. I've seen similar pictures/graphics before, but this one actually provided sources with case studies, so it seemed more reliable.



Spoiler


----------



## oath2order

Penguin ^-^ said:


> Just wanted to post this because *oh my goodness statistics are terrifying* ._. I've seen similar pictures/graphics before, but this one actually provided sources with case studies, so it seemed more reliable.
> 
> http://www.oneequalworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/bisexmonth-and-oew-site.jpg
> 
> I wanted to just insert the image but it was too large. >_<



What I want to know is how many more men would actually identify as bisexual if there wasn't a stigma against bi men. I don't know why, but I do feel like women are "allowed" (for lack of a better term) in society's eyes to experiment more without a stigma.


----------



## Penguin ^-^

oath2order said:


> What I want to know is how many more men would actually identify as bisexual if there wasn't a stigma against bi men. I don't know why, but I do feel like women are "allowed" (for lack of a better term) in society's eyes to experiment more without a stigma.



I've definitely notice that to be true, at least in my experience. I have a handful of male friends and acquaintances who are bisexual, and they get a lot of negative comments from people, even in the LGBTQ+ community. Most of them get told that they're gay, and just are unwilling to fully "come out of the closet". While many bisexual women I know have the same experiences, for the bisexual men it seems to be much more frequent and aggressive.


----------



## Dreamy Luigi

I hate not knowing ANYONE else that is also gay at my school, like I don't know of a single person that's also gay, not sure I'll ever find someone to even talk to let alone someone to start seeing.


----------



## boujee

Your school doesn't have a lgbat club?
Mines does which is run by a transsexual male who loves fashion(but it's not the best in my opinion) and my old 9th grade literature teacher who's a lesbian and also pregnant(she's so small it's adorable tbh).

I'm more of a ally though 
If I told the people what my sexuality was I'll be targeted with confessions


----------



## The Sundae

Gamzee said:


> If I told the people what my sexuality was I'll be targeted with confessions



CONFESS YOUR SINS, GAMZEE. CONFESS 'EM. lol no, it's fine. You don't have to tell us.



Dreamy Luigi said:


> I hate not knowing ANYONE else that is also gay at my school, like I don't know of a single person that's also gay, not sure I'll ever find someone to even talk to let alone someone to start seeing.



Anyway, even if there isn't an LGBTQA club at your school, shouldn't there be one in the neighborhood? Like a center or something? Or maybe at a nearby college? I think you don't have to be a student to hang around there. You can also go to conventions, if you have the money and into that, and try your luck there. 

I also remember reading somewhere that more LGBT-friendly cafes and the like are being built more often. Because, y'know, gay bars and night clubs aren't exactly the best places to go looking for dates/friends unless they have a really nice and clean crowd.  So try keeping an eye out for those in the area.


----------



## radical6

Dreamy Luigi said:


> I hate not knowing ANYONE else that is also gay at my school, like I don't know of a single person that's also gay, not sure I'll ever find someone to even talk to let alone someone to start seeing.



if ur a lesbian just wear a lot of flannel trust me all the lesbians in the area will kno


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> if ur a lesbian just wear a lot of flannel trust me all the lesbians in the area will kno



can confirm happens to me all the time


----------



## tumut

Dreamy Luigi said:


> I hate not knowing ANYONE else that is also gay at my school, like I don't know of a single person that's also gay, not sure I'll ever find someone to even talk to let alone someone to start seeing.


There is one gay person in my entire high school and they're a soulless ginger so I feel you


----------



## Ashtot

guys im a metrosexual and its hard because ppl think im gay but they dont understand


----------



## pafupafu

Lixx said:


> There is one gay person in my entire high school and they're a soulless ginger so I feel you



my girlfriend is a ginger and i can confirm she's soulless



justice said:


> if ur a lesbian just wear a lot of flannel trust me all the lesbians in the area will kno



good advice! will do this and form a secret lesbian gang in my neighbourhood.


----------



## oath2order

pafupafu said:


> my girlfriend is a ginger and i can confirm she's soulless
> 
> 
> 
> good advice! will do this and form a secret lesbian gang in my neighbourhood.



Can i join the gang


----------



## Bowie

I always joke that I'm so gay I could be lesbian.


----------



## Jarrad

Bowie said:


> I always joke that I'm so gay I could be lesbian.



I always joke that I'm black so I could be racist and ignorant.


----------



## chillv

You guys probably would never even imagine me being on this thread ever, but the truth is, all this time I'm gay. It's just when I was homophobic, I was denying it

One of my problems I have been having is people making comments towards my gender identity (masculine). All my life people have at time seem to find something to tell me that they percieve as "girly" or me "acting like a girl", or making jokes about it. It could be from peers or even actual family members. I take very much offense to them and they can get me pretty heated up. Although at the same time, these comments also make me insecure about it as well.


----------



## Shimmer

Well dang, so my coworker looks like Emma Roberts and it's like... you're kinda hot girlfriend. 
She has a boyfriend. Gods... what am I even doing now. 

I'll just shut my mouth before I freak her out.


----------



## Ashtot

chillv said:


> You guys probably would never even imagine me being on this thread ever, but the truth is, all this time I'm gay. It's just when I was homophobic, I was denying it
> 
> One of my problems I have been having is people making comments towards my gender identity (masculine). All my life people have at time seem to find something to tell me that they percieve as "girly" or me "acting like a girl", or making jokes about it. It could be from peers or even actual family members. I take very much offense to them and they can get me pretty heated up. Although at the same time, these comments also make me insecure about it as well.



i act girly but im not gay im just metro


----------



## radical6

also, theres a lesbian dating app i forgot to mention called Her.

you shouldnt have to worry about guys sneaking onto the app pretending to be women coz they verify your social media acc (to check if its not a spam bot, and i mean some ppl could fake one too, but thats a lot of work) or **** idk 

its 18+ tho jsyk

- - - Post Merge - - -

also they accept trans women/gnc women as well so thats nice

- - - Post Merge - - -



Ashtot said:


> guys im a metrosexual and its hard because ppl think im gay but they dont understand



dudes thats prety gay


----------



## Frances-Simoun

So, yesterday at college I was in Spanish class and we we're learning about the culture that goes behind music of the genre "Salsa", (idk what that had to do with spanish stuff but okay) so anyway at some point our Professor starts talking about pick-up lines and the boys of the classroom started saying a few of theirs and so on, then he asked what we first see on a person, blah blah, so he asked the girls what they see in MEN..

Well, I'm a lesbian so it was pretty awkward for me since I haven't done this whole coming out business because i just don't care about it, but when he asked me I kinda had to think for a little bit and the first thing that came out was " Eerrh , they aren't of my interest" and the room fell into silence, it was awkward as hell but hilarious at the same time, it shows how stupid people are when it comes to acknowledging that LGBTQA+ people exist. And yeah, just felt like sharing my awkward "coming out" in Spanish class moment.


----------



## visibleghost

Frances-Simoun said:


> So, yesterday at college I was in Spanish class and we we're learning about the culture that goes behind music of the genre "Salsa", (idk what that had to do with spanish stuff but okay) so anyway at some point our Professor starts talking about pick-up lines and the boys of the classroom started saying a few of theirs and so on, then he asked what we first see on a person, blah blah, so he asked the girls what they see in MEN..
> 
> Well, I'm a lesbian so it was pretty awkward for me since I haven't done this whole coming out business because i just don't care about it, but when he asked me I kinda had to think for a little bit and the first thing that came out was " Eerrh , they aren't of my interest" and the room fell into silence, it was awkward as hell but hilarious at the same time, it shows how stupid people are when it comes to acknowledging that LGBTQA+ people exist. And yeah, just felt like sharing my awkward "coming out" in Spanish class moment.



omg people who do that are so annoying... it's good that you felt like you could say that you don't have any interest in men, lol...


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> also, theres a lesbian dating app i forgot to mention called Her.
> 
> you shouldnt have to worry about guys sneaking onto the app pretending to be women coz they verify your social media acc (to check if its not a spam bot, and i mean some ppl could fake one too, but thats a lot of work) or **** idk
> 
> its 18+ tho jsyk
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> also they accept trans women/gnc women as well so thats nice
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> dudes thats prety gay



Sorry, what's gnc? Can't say I've heard that before.

I wish they'd do what they did with Her on the gay male apps tho


----------



## Frances-Simoun

lencurryboy said:


> omg people who do that are so annoying... it's good that you felt like you could say that you don't have any interest in men, lol...



Yep it's very annoying, not for the fact of being "forced" to "come out" but because they have the strict stereotype of girls are for boys and boys are for girls y'know and that bothers me, either way I still had to answer but he rephrased the question like this " Then what do you first see in a PERSON" I mean, couldn't he just say girls? women? ladies? xD


----------



## visibleghost

Frances-Simoun said:


> Yep it's very annoying, not for the fact of being "forced" to "come out" but because they have the strict stereotype of girls are for boys and boys are for girls y'know and that bothers me, either way I still had to answer but he rephrased the question like this " Then what do you first see in a PERSON" I mean, couldn't he just say girls? women? ladies? xD



yeah. 
some people are just SO AWKWARd when the realise that not everyone is cishet and when you call them out they just go "OH UM WELL UH-"
like they don't need to be super educated and perfect, but honestly it's just embarrassing when they do that...


----------



## boujee

i got confessed today


----------



## gem83

Oh no what did I start ._. I'm so sorry omg I didnt mean to do this D:


----------



## The Sundae

oath2order said:


> Sorry, what's gnc? Can't say I've heard that before.



GNC = Gender non-conforming.



gem83 said:


> Oh no what did I start ._. I'm so sorry omg I didnt mean to do this D:



Do what? I checked the last couple of pages and I did not see your sins what you did to cause anything.

EDIT: I looked back a few pages further, and I think I see what you mean. You didn't cause anything Gem. This thread just took a turn down "I hate people who do biphobic things" road because we were talking about bisexuality - people are mostly just venting a little bit, but no one's actually mad and choking someone. It's not your fault, but sorry if you feel that way.


----------



## oath2order

The Sundae said:


> GNC = Gender non-conforming.
> 
> 
> 
> Do what? I checked the last couple of pages and I did not see your sins what you did to cause anything.



I feel like that should have been obvious to me. Woops!


----------



## The Sundae

oath2order said:


> I feel like that should have been obvious to me. Woops!



Nah, it actually took me a few moments to get it too. Mostly because I don't see the phrase abbreviated that often either.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Sorry, what's gnc? Can't say I've heard that before.
> 
> I wish they'd do what they did with Her on the gay male apps tho



do women really pretend to go on grindr thats so weird 
well i guess ive seen women catfish and pretend theyre hotter than they actually are, never seen one lie about their gender tho

i heard grindr has a lot of spambots though, so if they were to set up a verification system it would require a lot of cleaning. Her was exclusive since the start. (theres still men who complain about not being let in im like bro its for lesbians/wlw) 

also, forgot to mention, i currently have 2 male friends who have a crush on me, and i honestly have no idea what to say to them. one of them probably wants to save me from my "sin" bc hes a hardcore mormon and u know gays = sin. the others too old for my tastes 

they always ask if im a lesbian lmao

i go back and forth between saying im bi or a lesbian, but even my gender is complicated (i have gender dysphoria but i dont really mind being called a woman anymore) so honestly? i just can't care at this point.

dating is so tiring. i don't have the time or energy for it. i'm constantly busy after school and **** bc im in a lot of clubs as well so idk what to tell them. i mean im flattered, but i also prefer girls a lot more over men. i mean maybe id give a guy a chance, but ive only dated girls, and i cant find men attractive. (only guys ive found hot is the actor for Minho in the maze runner.. hes hot as hell tbh) 

rip me


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> do women really pretend to go on grindr thats so weird
> well i guess ive seen women catfish and pretend theyre hotter than they actually are, never seen one lie about their gender tho
> 
> i heard grindr has a lot of spambots though, so if they were to set up a verification system it would require a lot of cleaning. Her was exclusive since the start. (theres still men who complain about not being let in im like bro its for lesbians/wlw)
> 
> also, forgot to mention, i currently have 2 male friends who have a crush on me, and i honestly have no idea what to say to them. one of them probably wants to save me from my "sin" bc hes a hardcore mormon and u know gays = sin. the others too old for my tastes
> 
> they always ask if im a lesbian lmao
> 
> i go back and forth between saying im bi or a lesbian, but even my gender is complicated (i have gender dysphoria but i dont really mind being called a woman anymore) so honestly? i just can't care at this point.
> 
> dating is so tiring. i don't have the time or energy for it. i'm constantly busy after school and **** bc im in a lot of clubs as well so idk what to tell them. i mean im flattered, but i also prefer girls a lot more over men. i mean maybe id give a guy a chance, but ive only dated girls, and i cant find men attractive. (only guys ive found hot is the actor for Minho in the maze runner.. hes hot as hell tbh)
> 
> rip me



Nah, it's not women on Grindr, it's more of spambots. They'd have to start over from scratch.


----------



## Noroxus

Well I am gay and I live in a small town and go to a small school (17 atm). And its pretty impossible to come out here because it is such a strict society ruleset here apparently. I don't know any other gay man at my school because of that. Some of my close friends know and I think some of my classmates suspect it aswell, because I never talk about woman or anything related to them. However I am not one the fem. gays and I act like a normal straight guy. 
Honestly it can be so tiring to be gay here. No LGBT club or anything of that sort... NOTHING. I wouldn't mind coming out at all, but doing it would probably only cause me problems, so I dont think that I am going to do that :x

But whatever when I finish school I am getting the heck outta this place to meet new people lol.


----------



## Shawna

I am pansexual and proud.
I have never been in a relationship, but I _do_ know what kind of person I want in a relationship.  I just want someone that will accept, appreciate, and love me for who I am.  I also took a quiz a while back to find out if I was pansexual and I passed.  
No one should feel bad about their own romantic orientation.  You are who you are! <3


----------



## Bowie

I have a question. Now, keep in mind that I'm gay myself and I don't believe being gay is a choice.

Does the relationship you have with your father have any impact on your sexuality? I've always thought mine was all right, but I heard about it quite a while ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The theory is that if you have a bad relationship with your father, you will seek that kinda relationship with another man. Obviously you're not looking for another father, but that's supposedly the psychology behind it. Again, I don't believe being gay is a choice. I'm just curious. Does any gay man here have a good relationship with their father?


----------



## tumut

Bowie said:


> I have a question. Now, keep in mind that I'm gay myself and I don't believe being gay is a choice.
> 
> Does the relationship you have with your father have any impact on your sexuality? I've always thought mine was all right, but I heard about it quite a while ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The theory is that if you have a bad relationship with your father, you will seek that kinda relationship with another man. Obviously you're not looking for another father, but that's supposedly the psychology behind it. Again, I don't believe being gay is a choice. I'm just curious. Does any gay man here have a good relationship with their father?


I never met my dad and I'm gay, not sure about that theory, but at least that's better than the theory about the siblings. And yeah sexuality isn't a choice.


----------



## radical6

Bowie said:


> I have a question. Now, keep in mind that I'm gay myself and I don't believe being gay is a choice.
> 
> Does the relationship you have with your father have any impact on your sexuality? I've always thought mine was all right, but I heard about it quite a while ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The theory is that if you have a bad relationship with your father, you will seek that kinda relationship with another man. Obviously you're not looking for another father, but that's supposedly the psychology behind it. Again, I don't believe being gay is a choice. I'm just curious. Does any gay man here have a good relationship with their father?



my birth dad was abusive and hit me
my stepdad sexually abused me

im not sexually attracted to men. I find sex with men repulsive and I usually start crying even thinking about it. Dating men romantically is very hard for me as well, so I usually prefer dating women because I feel safer. 

maybe? idk.

I wouldn't say having "daddy issues" makes you gay. If anything, it's very common for abuse victims to seek out partners that remind them of their abusers.


----------



## milkday

um. i feel sorta like a boy sometimes (like halloween, when i purposely tried to hide my chest more) but then i feel like a girl sometimes and then i feel like none sometimes.  is this normal? i'm so confused ;~;


----------



## Dinosaurz

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> um. i feel sorta like a boy sometimes (like halloween, when i purposely tried to hide my chest more) but then i feel like a girl sometimes and then i feel like none sometimes.  is this normal? i'm so confused ;~;



Probably hormones.


----------



## visibleghost

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> um. i feel sorta like a boy sometimes (like halloween, when i purposely tried to hide my chest more) but then i feel like a girl sometimes and then i feel like none sometimes.  is this normal? i'm so confused ;~;



i think you should think about it more and read about transgender stuff online. It might just be normal teenage insicurity and stuff, but I think it's worth looking into.


----------



## oath2order

Bowie said:


> I have a question. Now, keep in mind that I'm gay myself and I don't believe being gay is a choice.
> 
> Does the relationship you have with your father have any impact on your sexuality? I've always thought mine was all right, but I heard about it quite a while ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The theory is that if you have a bad relationship with your father, you will seek that kinda relationship with another man. Obviously you're not looking for another father, but that's supposedly the psychology behind it. Again, I don't believe being gay is a choice. I'm just curious. Does any gay man here have a good relationship with their father?



Just want to add on to this, does any lesbian here have a good relationship with their mother?


----------



## Esphas

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> um. i feel sorta like a boy sometimes (like halloween, when i purposely tried to hide my chest more) but then i feel like a girl sometimes and then i feel like none sometimes.  is this normal? i'm so confused ;~;



http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Fluid
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_flux

read up on this, it may help. and yeah its perfectly normal


----------



## milkday

I guess I feel genderfluid... I have been feeling like that more and more, only I had a "this could never happen to me" mentality


----------



## Esphas

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> I guess I feel genderfluid... I have been feeling like that more and more, only I had a "this could never happen to me" mentality



gender can be pretty volatile, so feeling like it couldnt happen to you is natural. its nothing to be disheartened about though, and its nothing to be ashamed of or anything. if you start getting gender dysphoria or it starts to trouble you a little bit, id consider wearing gender neutral/unisex clothing. hopefully this way you wont feel too uncomfortable if a sudden change of gender occurs. also this way people wont ask questions if youre not comfortable about people knowing


----------



## Saylor

oath2order said:


> Just want to add on to this, does any lesbian here have a good relationship with their mother?


I get along much better with my mom than I do with my dad, but I wouldn't say we have a great relationship. It's okay, though. We don't fight very often or anything, we tend to get along well most of the time, I just don't really feel as close to her as I'd like to be. 

Although I've kind of felt that way for a while and I don't think it has anything to do with my sexuality. I've never been particularly close to anyone in my family.


----------



## crystalchild

oath2order said:


> Just want to add on to this, does any lesbian here have a good relationship with their mother?


uh, yes?

i was going to elaborate, but i can't even think of anything clever to say. maybe some people's sexualities are affected by daddy issues, but assuming that's like.. the main reason for homosexuality... what even.


----------



## Zane

any parental theories in relation to sexuality make me cringe, i'm not a gay oedipus


----------



## boujee

Bowie said:


> I have a question. Now, keep in mind that I'm gay myself and I don't believe being gay is a choice.
> 
> Does the relationship you have with your father have any impact on your sexuality? I've always thought mine was all right, but I heard about it quite a while ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The theory is that if you have a bad relationship with your father, you will seek that kinda relationship with another man. Obviously you're not looking for another father, but that's supposedly the psychology behind it. Again, I don't believe being gay is a choice. I'm just curious. Does any gay man here have a good relationship with their father?



Not sure 
I hardly seen my dad when I was born(?) I do remember him giving me a GameCube for my birthday and that's how I got into gaming but that was like when I turned 6 or something. After that, he disappear(lmao).
My relationship with my mom was on and off but she loved me and was overly protective of me but at the same time she was intimidating so I didn't really know how to communicate with her but we were close(kinda like that unsaid bond, like you know it's there? I guess).

My mom's boyfriend side of the family was just a train wreck 
I've been molested and even closely rape by two family members on his side(both were men)
Other times I was sexually assaulted, either someone was groping my butt or harassing me(all done by males)
At the time I was really at a young age when all this was happening, even at my daycare I got sexually assaulted by my caretaker son(my mom worked night shift so after everyone got pick up, me and my twin had to go over their house till my mom came to get me). The same events that happened to me happend to my twin.


I finally told my mom when I was almost rape. 
She was sadden that I didn't tell her but she was more concern in getting this man(even her and her brother went after him, my uncle wanted to kill him but they decide to send him to jail).
He's in prison now and his mom and so on doesn't believe that he would do that to both me and my sister.
I'm disgusted in sex 
But I don't believe the relationship I had with my family ended up with who I'm interested in today, but those awfully memories


----------



## Shimmer

I literally don't think penises are sexy. I don't know if that makes me gay or what but I have never had the desire for a guy to send me a picture of his junk.


----------



## oath2order

crystalchild said:


> uh, yes?
> 
> i was going to elaborate, but i can't even think of anything clever to say. maybe some people's sexualities are affected by daddy issues, but assuming that's like.. the main reason for homosexuality... what even.



I was building off their theory, chill.


----------



## The Sundae

Bowie said:


> I have a question. Now, keep in mind that I'm gay myself and I don't believe being gay is a choice.
> 
> Does the relationship you have with your father have any impact on your sexuality? I've always thought mine was all right, but I heard about it quite a while ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The theory is that if you have a bad relationship with your father, you will seek that kinda relationship with another man. Obviously you're not looking for another father, but that's supposedly the psychology behind it. Again, I don't believe being gay is a choice. I'm just curious. Does any gay man here have a good relationship with their father?



I've heard of a similar theory, but the one that I heard wasn't based around sexuality. Basically, the theory said that people will look for mates based on whatever their parents were. For example, if the father was a really good handyman, then their gay son or straight daughter will mostly likely prefer to date handymen. Same thing applies with parent-child relationships. If someone had an abusive parent, then they will most likely end up with an abusive partner.

By the way, the theory that you described isn't part of the "gay is a choice" argument. Trust me, those people don't usually bring up one's upbringing unless they want to rant about "those confounded liberals are letting their children to be gay again". Instead, they just bring up the "you choose your partners" and "you choose to present yourself as gay" (or at least come out of the closet) in order to back themselves up.

So don't worry about your post coming across as being pro-"gay = choice", because it's totally not.

EDIT: Forgot to add - I'm a trans man and bisexual. I do have a poor relationship with controlling parents, but I don't think that affected my identity or sexuality. Especially not sexuality, because I primarily like laidback feminine men and women, and my workaholic, masculine parents definitely don't fit either of those categories.


----------



## oath2order

The Sundae said:


> I've heard of a similar theory, but the one that I heard wasn't based around sexuality. Basically, the theory said that people will look for mates based on whatever their parents were. For example, if the father was a really good handyman, then their gay son or straight daughter will mostly likely prefer to date handymen. Same thing applies with parent-child relationships. If someone had an abusive parent, then they will most likely end up with an abusive partner.



And to add onto that last not, if you had an abusive parent, it is more like you will end up as an abusive parent as that's what you were born as.


----------



## f11

Shimmer said:


> I literally don't think penises are sexy. I don't know if that makes me gay or what but I have never had the desire for a guy to send me a picture of his junk.


this is transphobic.


----------



## Cherry Kisses

Crys said:


> this is transphobic.



nvm, i see it now.


----------



## Bowie

The Sundae said:


> I've heard of a similar theory, but the one that I heard wasn't based around sexuality. Basically, the theory said that people will look for mates based on whatever their parents were. For example, if the father was a really good handyman, then their gay son or straight daughter will mostly likely prefer to date handymen. Same thing applies with parent-child relationships. If someone had an abusive parent, then they will most likely end up with an abusive partner.
> 
> By the way, the theory that you described isn't part of the "gay is a choice" argument. Trust me, those people don't usually bring up one's upbringing unless they want to rant about "those confounded liberals are letting their children to be gay again". Instead, they just bring up the "you choose your partners" and "you choose to present yourself as gay" (or at least come out of the closet) in order to back themselves up.
> 
> So don't worry about your post coming across as being pro-"gay = choice", because it's totally not.
> 
> EDIT: Forgot to add - I'm a trans man and bisexual. I do have a poor relationship with controlling parents, but I don't think that affected my identity or sexuality. Especially not sexuality, because I primarily like laidback feminine men and women, and my workaholic, masculine parents definitely don't fit either of those categories.



Very interesting! Thank you for clearing that up for me!


----------



## Millefeui

Shimmer said:


> I literally don't think penises are sexy. I don't know if that makes me gay or what but I have never had the desire for a guy to send me a picture of his junk.


Genitalias have nothing to do with one's sexuality. You can be attracted to males but dislike penises, you can be attracted to females and dislike vaginas. The wonderful thing is that there are men who don't have penises and women who don't have vaginas out there. Truly a wonderful thing, if you ask me.


----------



## Gregriii

Millefeui said:


> Genitalias have nothing to do with one's sexuality. You can be attracted to males but dislike penises, you can be attracted to females and dislike vaginas. The wonderful thing is that there are men who don't have penises and women who don't have vaginas out there. Truly a wonderful thing, if you ask me.



but they need to have something down there???


----------



## oath2order

Gregriii said:


> but they need to have something down there???



I mean _technically_ you don't have to have anything. Makes me wonder how waste-removal goes, for lack of a better term


----------



## Bowie

I think I'm content with being "androgynous". For a while I thought maybe I was gender fluid, but then I realised it's not that I feel like a girl sometimes, it's just that I don't wish to conform to the stereotypical norms of being a man, whether it be in my personality or my choice of clothing. If I want to wear a dress, I'll wear a dress. If I want to wear a suit, I'll wear a suit. I'm not trying to be male or female. I'm just trying to be me, and I'm content with that.


----------



## The Sundae

oath2order said:


> I mean _technically_ you don't have to have anything. Makes me wonder how waste-removal goes, for lack of a better term



I was curious myself so I did a quick google search about it.

The person gets an ostomy.  Basically, it's a surgical opening in the abdomen (below the bellow button but above the groin) and a bag is used to collect urine. I would say go to Wikipedia to get a good idea of it (don't worry, there's no nasty pictures - it just shows where the bag is placed).


----------



## milkday

I feel that way, too. I think if I still feel this way in the future I  consider a binder though


----------



## boujee

I'm glad I got preferences


----------



## Charcolor

--------


----------



## oath2order

Charcolor said:


> i posted a picture of myself asking people not to call me a girl and people got mad at me for wearing glasses made for girls so i'm just really upset now



What exactly do you mean, "glasses made for girls"?


----------



## boujee

Charcolor said:


> i posted a picture of myself asking people not to call me a girl and people got mad at me for wearing glasses made for girls so i'm just really upset now



but did they call you a girl


----------



## Charcolor

---


----------



## emolga

im honestly really sick of my friends asking me if there are any boys i like in school and people making jokes about me liking boys that are a lot older and stuff.. it makes me really uncomfortable and i sort of want to tell my friends that i'm not attracted to boys but i'm worried that they might not want to be my friend anymore, even though i know a lot of kids who are openly gay in my grade. does anyone have any tips?


----------



## Jarrad

Charcolor said:


> no i'm sorry, they just asked why i wear girls' glasses if i don't want to be called a girl
> 
> apparently the glasses i wear aren't unisex and they're made for girls. it's just what it sounds like. (sorry the posts are on seperate pages so i can't quote them both)



like no offence but get over it.. 

someone asked you why you were wearing female glasses, they could have assumed you were trans or gender-fluid or something

like why are you even bringing it up here...??


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> And to add onto that last not, if you had an abusive parent, it is more like you will end up as an abusive parent as that's what you were born as.



i would not say someone is born abusive 
more likely mentally ill 
but growing up in an abusive household and never learning how to cope leads to that, yes


----------



## Ghost Soda

emolga said:


> im honestly really sick of my friends asking me if there are any boys i like in school and people making jokes about me liking boys that are a lot older and stuff.. it makes me really uncomfortable and i sort of want to tell my friends that i'm not attracted to boys but i'm worried that they might not want to be my friend anymore, even though i know a lot of kids who are openly gay in my grade. does anyone have any tips?



Get better friends. If they stop being friends with you for being gay, then news flash: they probably don't deserve to be friends with you anyway.


----------



## Jarrad

Ghost Soda said:


> Get better friends. If they stop being friends with you for being gay, then news flash: they probably don't deserve to be friends with you anyway.



His/Her friends don't know that he/she's gay, if you read the comment properly.

It's easy to say stuff like "Stop being friends with X because of what he/she does/said." and honestly it's not helpful at all. In highschool/college or whatever this kid's in, it's not easy to make friends. Friends at those phases of life are luxuries that not everybody gets to have, so you should cherish whatever relationships you have with people and only work on strengthening them, not dismissing people because of what they don't know.

Keep them as friends. If you're truly close to them and feel comfortable telling them that you're gay then do it! I wish my friend came out to me earlier than she did because I know for certain we would be so much closer had she done so (and vice versa, I'm sure). If they accept you for who you are then that's good! If they don't, then explain to them why it's bad to judge people based on their sexualities, and even then if they're still uncooperative then the best case scenario would be to just un-friend them if there's nothing else you can do to help aid their ignorance.

Good luck!


----------



## emolga

Jarrad said:


> His/Her friends don't know that he/she's gay, if you read the comment properly.
> 
> It's easy to say stuff like "Stop being friends with X because of what he/she does/said." and honestly it's not helpful at all. In highschool/college or whatever this kid's in, it's not easy to make friends. Friends at those phases of life are luxuries that not everybody gets to have, so you should cherish whatever relationships you have with people and only work on strengthening them, not dismissing people because of what they don't know.
> 
> Keep them as friends. If you're truly close to them and feel comfortable telling them that you're gay then do it! I wish my friend came out to me earlier than she did because I know for certain we would be so much closer had she done so (and vice versa, I'm sure). If they accept you for who you are then that's good! If they don't, then explain to them why it's bad to judge people based on their sexualities, and even then if they're still uncooperative then the best case scenario would be to just un-friend them if there's nothing else you can do to help aid their ignorance.
> 
> Good luck!



thanks so much!


----------



## visibleghost

honestly I feel sooooo silly for writing about this on an animal crossing forum (lmao idk why it just feels silly don't be offended pls) but I think..... that uh...... I might come out??? pretty soon??? probably won't right now because I need to think about it a lot (and then I might be too scared to do it but ye), but honestly I think it's the way to go right now? because now I have a reason to... I didn't think I could start transition (like even go to a psychiatrist about it) before I was 18, but apparently I could?
i'll have to tell my parents about being trans in order to do it... and I think I can do it... I just don't want everyone IRL to know right now. yea!!!! S OUHHHHHHHHH

does anyone have any good ideas about when or how to do it? I think I wanna tell my mom only first and then she can tell my dad... and yeah.... idk.... but is it like a super bad idea to be like "ayo mom can we talk for a sec" n then just be like "eeee i'm a boy" ;;;; 
or llike just take a walk with my mom and say it then?? or like... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm gonna go scream for a min this is hard stuff


----------



## milkday

I'd sort of gauge how they feel about transgender people first. If they're fine, then go for it! If they're nasty (which I'm not saying will happen) it might not be safe


----------



## gem83

lencurryboy said:


> honestly I feel sooooo silly for writing about this on an animal crossing forum (lmao idk why it just feels silly don't be offended pls) but I think..... that uh...... I might come out??? pretty soon??? probably won't right now because I need to think about it a lot (and then I might be too scared to do it but ye), but honestly I think it's the way to go right now? because now I have a reason to... I didn't think I could start transition (like even go to a psychiatrist about it) before I was 18, but apparently I could?
> i'll have to tell my parents about being trans in order to do it... and I think I can do it... I just don't want everyone IRL to know right now. yea!!!! S OUHHHHHHHHH
> 
> does anyone have any good ideas about when or how to do it? I think I wanna tell my mom only first and then she can tell my dad... and yeah.... idk.... but is it like a super bad idea to be like "ayo mom can we talk for a sec" n then just be like "eeee i'm a boy" ;;;;
> or llike just take a walk with my mom and say it then?? or like... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm gonna go scream for a min this is hard stuff



Just sit your mom down, tell her you wanna talk to her about something, and then tell her you're trans c: Make sure it's at a time when everyone is calm, just to be safe. Probably not very helpful lmao, but that's what I did when I told my best friend I'm bi. Once I got the courage to say it, I just did it and got it over with.

Also probably not very helpful but I will be cheering for you lol you will hear me all the way from america

Yeah I p much suck at actually helping lmao

- - - Post Merge - - -



kisskissfall-inlove said:


> I'd sort of gauge how they feel about transgender people first. If they're fine, then go for it! If they're nasty (which I'm not saying will happen) it might not be safe



Yes, this too. Was gonna mention it but forgot whoopS


----------



## milkday

I'm sure your parents will be fine! They may need to adjust to new pronouns and stuff, but that won't take long


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> honestly I feel sooooo silly for writing about this on an animal crossing forum (lmao idk why it just feels silly don't be offended pls) but I think..... that uh...... I might come out??? pretty soon??? probably won't right now because I need to think about it a lot (and then I might be too scared to do it but ye), but honestly I think it's the way to go right now? because now I have a reason to... I didn't think I could start transition (like even go to a psychiatrist about it) before I was 18, but apparently I could?
> i'll have to tell my parents about being trans in order to do it... and I think I can do it... I just don't want everyone IRL to know right now. yea!!!! S OUHHHHHHHHH
> 
> does anyone have any good ideas about when or how to do it? I think I wanna tell my mom only first and then she can tell my dad... and yeah.... idk.... but is it like a super bad idea to be like "ayo mom can we talk for a sec" n then just be like "eeee i'm a boy" ;;;;
> or llike just take a walk with my mom and say it then?? or like... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm gonna go scream for a min this is hard stuff




i'd honestly say see how your family reacts to the idea of trans people first.
i was going to come out to my family, i don't even live with them anymore but i was going to finally finally tell them im trans. until the caitlin jenner thing happened and i realixed my parents are judgmental pricks and do not support trans people what so ever.


----------



## Gregriii

I like a girl who is lesbian and I'm a boy XD Why sexuality why 

and btw I am the only one that hates the term "coming out"?

 I consider myself asexual (even though people consider me gay LOL) and I didn't know I had came out when I said it to my parents .-.


----------



## visibleghost

tysm everyone!! I'm sure my mom will be fine with it because she has like actually asked me if i would rather be a boy and said that she would support me if that was the case and stuff... uh... yeah. my dad is kind of eeeehh but I think he wants me to be happy so he'll probably be fine with it too.


----------



## tae

Gregriii said:


> and btw I am the only one that hates the term "coming out"?



nooo, you're not~
i mean, i'm not fond of the idea of it. i mean straight and cis kids don't have to come out to their parents about being straight and cis.. so i mean- it's pretty dumb that non-binary and gay kids feel the need to.


----------



## milkday

I'm very sorry for all the dumb questions I'm about to ask: I think I'm genderfluid, so I think a binder would help on "boy" days. Is there a way to make one? I own a lot of loose boy clothes but I can see it being an issue in the future. Does it fade and come back? Is this just a phase?


----------



## visibleghost

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> I'm very sorry for all the dumb questions I'm about to ask: I think I'm genderfluid, so I think a binder would help on "boy" days. Is there a way to make one? I own a lot of loose boy clothes but I can see it being an issue in the future. Does it fade and come back? Is this just a phase?



not sure what you mean by fade and come back, if you mean your gender feelings they might be stronger at certain times in your life and not really that strong at other times. It might be a phase, but honestly even if it would be, if you feel genderfluid right now you are genderfluid, right? Like, it doesn't change your current identity. 
I know a lot of trans people who first thought they were something but then later changed their identity to fit them better or becasue their feelings of gender had changed. They all still identify as trans though, just in a different way.

About binding, yeah you could make one yourself. But you always have to consider your safety. Binding can be dangerous, you could hurt your ribs_ soooooo _badly and it could mess up a ton of stuff.
That's why it's a lot better to get a "real" (profesionally made)  binder, because they are safer. 

that being said, buying a binder isn't an option for a lot of people, myself included. Most days I deal with it and wear loose clothing, but I actually do have a homemade binder I made out of an old and way too tight swimsuit.
I think Alex Bertie explains how he did his in this video, not sure if it's easy to follow though. 
I'm not sure how safe it is, but I have worn mine for way longer than I should have and have only gotten a bit sore. 

But basically, if you're going to start binding you will want to know a few things
1. You should always be able to breathe properly. 
2. Don't exercise, sleep, sing or play a instrument that you need a lot of air to play (like the trumpet or something) in your binder
3. always take it off if it hurts
4. if it hurts a lot, see a doctor
5. if it hurts, don't wear the binder until it stops hurting
6. don't wear it for too long. I've heard that 6-8 hours is fine. (I have bound for longer than that but I don't think it's good for you)
7. don't ever ever ever use ace bandages or any kind of wrap, you will probably get seriously hurt. 
8. if someone tells you about some way of binding online don't immediately trust them. A lot of people bind unsafely without knowing it. (so maybe the swimsuit diy thing isn't a great idea. It works for me but I don't wear it every day.)

Also an alterantive to a binder is wearing two sport bras on top of each other. I think one backwards and one the right way or something makes it flatter?? 

idk i've probably forgotten stuff but.... ye. good luck ;;


----------



## milkday

Thanks for the advice! I'll try the sports bra method- I have two- but I won't do it on PE days since I'll probably not be able to breathe.


----------



## visibleghost

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> Thanks for the advice! I'll try the sports bra method- I have two- but I won't do it on PE days since I'll probably not be able to breathe.



that sounds like a great idea! You could always just take one of the bras off before PE if you want, but yeah :>


----------



## Bowie

Tilda Swinton, as much as I love you, please stop showing up whenever I look for androgynous male models on Google.


----------



## milkday

One last question: what sort of hats hide hair? I'm growing mine out but sometimes I want to hide it (it was short, but it's not anymore). I have a beanie- will that work?


----------



## visibleghost

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> One last question: what sort of hats hide hair? I'm growing mine out but sometimes I want to hide it (it was short, but it's not anymore). I have a beanie- will that work?



sure, that would probably work out. are you allowed to wear hats in your school? otherwise I think a ponytail or something works, it doesn't hide it per se, but it makes the hair get out of your face and isn't super feminine. I always had my hair in a (really ugly but ye....) ponytail before I cut my hair. ^^


----------



## milkday

I can wear hats outside, and my hair is not quite shoulder length so I think it'll be alright. I do get mistaken for a boy mostly, since my uniform is extremely baggy and I wear boots not shoes


----------



## Shimmer

If you hair is shorter than shoulder length, a beanie will definitely work well.


----------



## Vida

I have a question to all genderqueer people: Have you always sort of known that are genderqueer or did the topic arise over time? 

I mean, for example, in the past before I started questioning my sexuality, I would have never thought I could be anything but straight. The questioning just started some day out of the nowhere so to speak. 

I was wondering how this is for trans and genderqueer people in general, have you always felt like that or did you suddenly feel like this one day without having expected it?


----------



## visibleghost

Vida said:


> I have a question to all genderqueer people: Have you always sort of known that are genderqueer or did the topic arise over time?
> 
> I mean, for example, in the past before I started questioning my sexuality, I would have never thought I could be anything but straight. The questioning just started some day out of the nowhere so to speak.
> 
> I was wondering how this is for trans and genderqueer people in general, have you always felt like that or did you suddenly feel like this one day without having expected it?


I'm trans and I think I always knew something was off? And I remember thinking for a long time about just gender stuff and that if I would have been allowed to choose my gender I would have been a boy and stuff like that, but honestly I actually realised it just boom all at once after watching a short film.
Now when I'm looking back at what I thought and did before I knew I was trans I can definitely see "signs" or whatever, and I had always kind of felt the way I feel about gender... I just hadn't known what it meant, if that makes sense?


----------



## gem83

Vida said:


> I have a question to all genderqueer people: Have you always sort of known that are genderqueer or did the topic arise over time?
> 
> I mean, for example, in the past before I started questioning my sexuality, I would have never thought I could be anything but straight. The questioning just started some day out of the nowhere so to speak.
> 
> I was wondering how this is for trans and genderqueer people in general, have you always felt like that or did you suddenly feel like this one day without having expected it?



When I was little I remember always being more of a "tomboy" and I never thought it was more than that. Only in the past year or so did I realize that maybe I'm not cis. I still don't even know what to call myself, I just know it's definitely not cis. The closest description is just non-binary. Sometimes I'll switch pronouns, sometimes not.

Can't say the same for my sexuality lmao I've always known I'm bi af I don't think I ever called myself straight


----------



## radical6

am i the only one who thinks everything AVEN stands for is bull****

sorry like im asexual too but the **** they pull is astounding to me. monosexual privilege. allosexual privilege. amazing 

monosexual is just as disgusting as the term bihet, yet why do people use that term? its so stupid. literally. 

AVEN has literally made lgbt tumblr a mess for me. 

I have seen so many posts by AVEN type of people making fun of the goddamn AIDS crisis. I'm upset how much AVEN has ruined the ace community for me. I am sex repulsed, but I literally can't stand AVEN. 

Look, I get asexuals/aromantics get ****, but AVEN is not the resource I want ace people to have. All AVEN is doing is causing a divide in the community by pushing this idea that it's the ****ed Up Monogays from Hell's fault that ace people don't have as much recognition.

Visbility /=/ privilege 

Having a lack of sexual or romantic attraction doesn't mean you're oppressed? I agree there is a stigma, but I'm getting way too tired of AVEN pushing this agenda that gay men and lesbian women are to blame for the lack of ace awareness. They are borderline homophobic. They make fun of the AIDS crisis. They think all gay men and lesbians do is have angry sex with each other like animals.

I'm tired of this sneaky homophobia by AVEN. They're just as annoying as FKH8. 

They seem to think that the opposite of asexuality is hypersexuality. Which is incredibily damaging.

I've seen them call hypersexual people sluts or animals. Hypersexuality forms as a reaction from sexual abuse usually... and it disgusts me how much these people mock them. Or they think that, like every non asexual person acts like this? 

I'm just tired of AVEN and this whole bull****. No one in the LGBT community wants asexuals to die. But when you start saying lesbians and gay men are somehow the reason asexuals dont have visibility or you start blaming people for their sexual attraction then stuff goes downhill with me. 

It's just so incredibily tiring to see posts on my dash from ace positivty blogs condemming lesbians and gay men. I don't even know how we went full circle. But we did, and now we have this weird justified attempt at homophobia and lesbophobia. Amazing. 

tldr: i hate AVEN and it made me rant because AVEN is literally the reason why the lgbt community on tumblr is falling apart


----------



## Gregriii

justice said:


> am i the only one who thinks everything AVEN stands for is bull****
> 
> sorry like im asexual too but the **** they pull is astounding to me. monosexual privilege. allosexual privilege. amazing
> 
> monosexual is just as disgusting as the term bihet, yet why do people use that term? its so stupid. literally.
> 
> AVEN has literally made lgbt tumblr a mess for me.
> 
> I have seen so many posts by AVEN type of people making fun of the goddamn AIDS crisis. I'm upset how much AVEN has ruined the ace community for me. I am sex repulsed, but I literally can't stand AVEN.
> 
> Look, I get asexuals/aromantics get ****, but AVEN is not the resource I want ace people to have. All AVEN is doing is causing a divide in the community by pushing this idea that it's the ****ed Up Monogays from Hell's fault that ace people don't have as much recognition.
> 
> Visbility /=/ privilege
> 
> Having a lack of sexual or romantic attraction doesn't mean you're oppressed? I agree there is a stigma, but I'm getting way too tired of AVEN pushing this agenda that gay men and lesbian women are to blame for the lack of ace awareness. They are borderline homophobic. They make fun of the AIDS crisis. They think all gay men and lesbians do is have angry sex with each other like animals.
> 
> I'm tired of this sneaky homophobia by AVEN. They're just as annoying as FKH8.
> 
> They seem to think that the opposite of asexuality is hypersexuality. Which is incredibily damaging.
> 
> I've seen them call hypersexual people sluts or animals. Hypersexuality forms as a reaction from sexual abuse usually... and it disgusts me how much these people mock them. Or they think that, like every non asexual person acts like this?
> 
> I'm just tired of AVEN and this whole bull****. No one in the LGBT community wants asexuals to die. But when you start saying lesbians and gay men are somehow the reason asexuals dont have visibility or you start blaming people for their sexual attraction then stuff goes downhill with me.
> 
> It's just so incredibily tiring to see posts on my dash from ace positivty blogs condemming lesbians and gay men. I don't even know how we went full circle. But we did, and now we have this weird justified attempt at homophobia and lesbophobia. Amazing.
> 
> tldr: i hate AVEN and it made me rant because AVEN is literally the reason why the lgbt community on tumblr is falling apart



what is AVEN


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> monosexual is just as disgusting as the term bihet, yet why do people use that term? its so stupid. literally.
> 
> AVEN has literally made lgbt tumblr a mess for me.



bihet? Like, bisexual+heterosexual?



justice said:


> I have seen so many posts by AVEN type of people making fun of the goddamn AIDS crisis.



okay that just ain't right.



Gregriii said:


> what is AVEN


Asexual Visibility and Education Network


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> bihet? Like, bisexual+heterosexual?
> 
> 
> 
> okay that just ain't right.
> 
> 
> Asexual Visibility and Education Network



bihet is what lesbians and gay men sometimes call bi people for whatever reason

aven is such a mess just look at their wiki. they have a ****ing sexuality for WANTING TO RAISE CHILDREN. i dont understand why or how. its just a mess

their members are straight and cis and say really homophobic **** under the disguise of ace activism and its awful. just look at the allosexual and monosexual privilege tags on tumblr jfc


----------



## Llust

im having some issues with figuring out what to label myself as. ive been labeling myself as asexual for around four years now and  my friend of the opposite sex is just making me confused tbh. we've known each other for two years now and hes one of the closest guy friends ive had to actually show he cares and everything. we're actually not as close as we used to be anymore and like--idk how to explain it ._. i cant imagine seeing myself in a relationship with him and i dont have any sexual fantasies about him either, yet i still get those typical feelings you get when you have a crush. we stopped talking for like a month now bc im just trying to shut him out of my life bc hes been causing a lot of stress for me fr various reasons but i still cant get him off my mind at all

another thing..ah, so based off of experiences with having this happen with dirty fckboys, i noticed that i dont get those crush symptoms unless they act like theyre trying to create a bond with me or make an effort to talk to me every day. i know well that all theyre trying to do is get some netflix and chill action and i have no desire to go out with them at all, yet as i already mentioned, i still get those feelings and my apologies if that doesnt make sense


----------



## oath2order

mimihime said:


> im having some issues with figuring out what to label myself as. ive been labeling myself as asexual for around four years now and  my friend of the opposite sex is just making me confused tbh. we've known each other for two years now and hes one of the closest guy friends ive had to actually show he cares and everything. we're actually not as close as we used to be anymore and like--idk how to explain it ._. i cant imagine seeing myself in a relationship with him and i dont have any sexual fantasies about him either, yet i still get those typical feelings you get when you have a crush. we stopped talking for like a month now bc im just trying to shut him out of my life bc hes been causing a lot of stress for me fr various reasons but i still cant get him off my mind at all
> 
> another thing..ah, so based off of experiences with having this happen with dirty fckboys, i noticed that i dont get those crush symptoms unless they act like theyre trying to create a bond with me or make an effort to talk to me every day. i know well that all theyre trying to do is get some netflix and chill action and i have no desire to go out with them at all, yet as i already mentioned, i still get those feelings and my apologies if that doesnt make sense



So what you're saying is you feel like you're in a romantic relationship with him because you get those feelings, but you don't actually want a romantic relationship?

I mean, from the sounds of it, you're somewhere on demiromantic or something along those lines.


----------



## Llust

oath2order said:


> So what you're saying is you feel like you're in a romantic relationship with him because you get those feelings, but you don't actually want a romantic relationship?
> 
> I mean, from the sounds of it, you're somewhere on demiromantic or something along those lines.



no i dont feel like im in a romantic relationship with him, you got the last part right though


----------



## crystalchild

justice said:


> bihet is what lesbians and gay men sometimes call bi people for whatever reason


pretty sure "bihet" is supposed to mean "bisexual in a heterosexual relationship."

which is just another biphobic concept, as though being in a hetero relationship somehow makes you "less bi."


----------



## oath2order

mimihime said:


> no i dont feel like im in a romantic relationship with him, you got the last part right though



But you said you get the feelings like a crush. Kinda same thing


----------



## Celestefey

Hm, so I was wondering if someone could help me out here with this? I've been kind of struggling with a little gender issue for a little while now, and it's just come out from no where. I've never really struggled with knowing my gender until now, I used to be very firmly sure I was female, but... Now, I've got this weird feeling inside of me.

It's weird, and I'm unsure of how to explain it. I suppose maybe I'm having... An identity issue? Like, I'm suddenly seeing myself in a new way, and it's different to how I felt I was before. Before, I was quite feminine, I knew I was female, I was happy being known as a female and being referred to with she/her pronouns. But something's changed. I'm not suddenly feeling like I am a boy, but... Rather, something in between. I know that I'm not a boy, but... I'm not a female, either. I want to say I'm gender neutral, but even then, I'm not sure whether it's that either, I always visualised gender neutrality as being like in between male and female, but maybe I was just ignorant and only thought that because I didn't KNOW what it was or what it was like. It's really weird. I'm happy with being referred to with female pronouns, but... Am I female? I feel like, I am my own gender. If there were a Lucy gender, then that would be me. If I could make my own gender... That would be easier. Because, I still feel slightly feminine, and I do like stereotypically feminine things, but at the same time, I feel like I am gender neutral? Like... I'm not completely female. I suppose to put it simply: I feel like my gender is not really defining who I am anymore, and I'm instead my own person, and I don't want my gender to dictate who I am. I feel like I am gender neutral, maybe, possibly. I'm still happy with she/her pronouns, but they/them also sounds... Right, for me too? 

I don't know, I could be talking out of my ass for all I know. xD Maybe I am just female and I'm just having a weird identity crisis. But I don't know, I thought maybe I could reach out to other people on here who may also have felt the same way as me? Or at least, get a bit of clarification on what I'm feeling...


----------



## Princess

I've recently accepted that I'm somewhere among the bisexual-pansexual spectrum but the more I self reflect the more confused I feel. I've tried thinking of my life as a "blank canvas" as if there were no familial/cultural expectations what kind of person do I see myself with? Some days I feel I see myself with someone who is more feminine, some days more masculine...but recently I feel like the only thing I'm attracted to besides my partner (who is a male) are members of the same sex. I don't know if I even want to label myself, but I do know it took a lot to accept that an attraction for the same sex exists for me in the first place.


----------



## Sleepi

Celestefey said:


> Hm, so I was wondering if someone could help me out here with this? I've been kind of struggling with a little gender issue for a little while now, and it's just come out from no where. I've never really struggled with knowing my gender until now, I used to be very firmly sure I was female, but... Now, I've got this weird feeling inside of me.
> 
> It's weird, and I'm unsure of how to explain it. I suppose maybe I'm having... An identity issue? Like, I'm suddenly seeing myself in a new way, and it's different to how I felt I was before. Before, I was quite feminine, I knew I was female, I was happy being known as a female and being referred to with she/her pronouns. But something's changed. I'm not suddenly feeling like I am a boy, but... Rather, something in between. I know that I'm not a boy, but... I'm not a female, either. I want to say I'm gender neutral, but even then, I'm not sure whether it's that either, I always visualised gender neutrality as being like in between male and female, but maybe I was just ignorant and only thought that because I didn't KNOW what it was or what it was like. It's really weird. I'm happy with being referred to with female pronouns, but... Am I female? I feel like, I am my own gender. If there were a Lucy gender, then that would be me. If I could make my own gender... That would be easier. Because, I still feel slightly feminine, and I do like stereotypically feminine things, but at the same time, I feel like I am gender neutral? Like... I'm not completely female. I suppose to put it simply: I feel like my gender is not really defining who I am anymore, and I'm instead my own person, and I don't want my gender to dictate who I am. I feel like I am gender neutral, maybe, possibly. I'm still happy with she/her pronouns, but they/them also sounds... Right, for me too?
> 
> I don't know, I could be talking out of my ass for all I know. xD Maybe I am just female and I'm just having a weird identity crisis. But I don't know, I thought maybe I could reach out to other people on here who may also have felt the same way as me? Or at least, get a bit of clarification on what I'm feeling...



you could identify as agender (someone who doesn't have a gender identity, or someone who is genderless) or graygender (someone who is ambivalent about their gender identity but partially identifies with a nonbinary gender), but you don't have to identify with anything if you don't want to c:

hope this has helped!  (sorry if it's not really all that clear to understand >.< )


----------



## boujee

You should never use tumblr as a resource lmao


----------



## Sleepi

--


----------



## boujee

Someone already told you that and you still did it?
I'm not saying that what you did wasn't uncall for but community on tumblr is sht is what I'm saying. Sure you may have someone tell you in what asexuality is but then you'll have someone saying something completely different. It's all Marco Polo.


----------



## milkday

I tried the binder thingy today. It didn't work (too tight) so my sister says she'll try to find me a proper one


----------



## Celestefey

Sleepi said:


> here is a useful little thing I found earlier while browsing tumblr, may help explain gender identities a bit more
> 
> you could identify as agender (someone who doesn't have a gender identity, or someone who is genderless) or graygender (someone who is ambivalent about their gender identity but partially identifies with a nonbinary gender), but you don't have to identify with anything if you don't want to c:
> 
> hope this has helped!  (sorry if it's not really all that clear to understand >.< )



Oh wow, I had never heard of someone being "graygender" before, that sounds like it fits me quite well at the moment. I mean I'm not going to jump to just identifying myself as that at the moment, I should still give it a bit of time and think about it, and maybe do a little bit of research into it. I knew there had to be something out there to label it, and in some ways, I feel a bit more at ease knowing that what I'm feeling is... You know, actually a thing. Besides, I might end up realising that no, I am actually female in the end, and this was just a phase, or I might realise that I am agender. Who knows? Either way I really appreciate your help. I'll be sure to try and do more research into it. 

Edit: And yeah, I know Tumblr isn't a reliable resource but it can sometimes be a bit useful. I'll be sure to research widely.


----------



## Gregriii

Idk why my parents think that asexuality is just a phase

I don't like sex and I WON'T EVER LIKE IT. Is that difficult to understand?!?!??!


----------



## TangledBowties

Hello~ :3


----------



## gem83

I don't see what's wrong with that gender post I know tumblr can be pretty horrid but not all of it is


----------



## boujee

There was nothing wrong with the gender post 
Just tumblr itself 
I know what I put????


----------



## TangledBowties

Gamzee said:


> There was nothing wrong with the gender post
> Just tumblr itself
> I know what I put????


I feel like there are certain parts of tumblr that have wrong information and are just plain terrible. But, if you find the right part of tumblr it's very helpful/accepting.


----------



## visibleghost

I think with gender and sexual identities tumblr can definitely be a good resource. Identity is about personal experience, like you can literally make up your own word for how you feel about your gender or sexuality if you want or feel the need to.
 I don't see why a blogging platform wouldn't be a good place to find out more about gender or sexuality, unless they're like explaining words incorrectly?
 If anything I think tumblr is good for gender and sexuality exploring, most things I've seen helps people find out more about themselves and encourages people to keep exploring their gender and sexuality.

I think that post on tumblr that was linked was very informative and good ^^'


----------



## gem83

TangledBowties said:


> I feel like there are certain parts of tumblr that have wrong information and are just plain terrible. But, if you find the right part of tumblr it's very helpful/accepting.



Yes, thank you. Tumblr's lgbtqia community quite literally saved my life one day so I'm just kinda...yeah


----------



## visibleghost

kisskissfall-inlove said:


> I tried the binder thingy today. It didn't work (too tight) so my sister says she'll try to find me a proper one



ayy that's great!! good luck on getting a proper binder, your sister sounds great uwu'


----------



## gem83

lencurryboy said:


> I think with gender and sexual identities tumblr can definitely be a good resource. Identity is about personal experience, like you can literally make up your own word for how you feel about your gender or sexuality if you want or feel the need to.
> I don't see why a blogging platform wouldn't be a good place to find out more about gender or sexuality, unless they're like explaining words incorrectly?
> If anything I think tumblr is good for gender and sexuality exploring, most things I've seen helps people find out more about themselves and encourages people to keep exploring their gender and sexuality.
> 
> I think that post on tumblr that was linked was very informative and good ^^'



YES THANK YOU OMG If it weren't for Tumblr I would probably still be in denial and be hating myself rather than loving myself rn


----------



## boujee

So what's the difference between sex and gender?


----------



## Sugilite

Gamzee said:


> So what's the difference between sex and gender?




Be a good girl today


----------



## visibleghost

Gamzee said:


> So what's the difference between sex and gender?



sex: what you were assigned at birth (based on genitals)
gender: your gender identity


----------



## boujee

So it's a mental thing?

- - - Post Merge - - -



Sugilite said:


> Be a good girl today




It's bellfreefourms;


----------



## gem83

Sex is your anatomy and gender is your own identity


----------



## boujee

So is gender identity more of a mental thing though?


----------



## visibleghost

Gamzee said:


> So it's a mental thing?
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's bellfreefourms;



I don't really get what you mean? You cannot know someone's gender by looking at their body though, so I guess..?


----------



## gem83

Gamzee said:


> So is gender identity more of a mental thing though?



Basically.


----------



## TangledBowties

Gamzee said:


> So it's a mental thing?
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> It's bellfreefourms;



Gender is the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones).

While sex is based on your reproductive organs/functions.


----------



## visibleghost

TangledBowties said:


> Gender is the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones).
> 
> While sex is based on your reproductive organs/functions.



uh not really though
i mean
yeah gender is about male or female
but also about a ton of other gender identities................


----------



## boujee

Gender is such a complicated thing, my brain just shuts off(which is me referring to tumblr cause no one knows how to talk)
So it's more of a belief? Like a feeling of certainty?


----------



## visibleghost

Gamzee said:


> Gender is such a complicated thing, my brain just shuts off(which is me referring to tumblr cause no one knows how to talk)
> So it's more of a belief? Like a feeling of certainty?



I'd say that people generally just know their gender? It can be based on feelings, I guess. I think it's different for everyone ^^


----------



## gem83

Gamzee said:


> Gender is such a complicated thing, my brain just shuts off(which is me referring to tumblr cause no one knows how to talk)
> So it's more of a belief? Like a feeling of certainty?



I mean I guess you could say that... I don't think it's like "I, gem83, truly believe I'm genderfluid" it's more like this is just how I am it's how I was born and it's how I've always felt


----------



## The Sundae

I was going to post this on a different forums, but I don't feel like taking their "well, BACK IN MY DAY" shizz right now.

Putting it in a spoiler because it's honestly not a big deal or remotely interesting, but I want to get it off my chest anyway. It's also a little long too.



Spoiler



Okay, so I cut my hair even shorter than it was on Sunday. It's nothing like a pixie cut, but it's pretty short. Not even a few steps out of the salon, I already catch people giving me nasty glares and one woman actually violently pulled her kid away from me while I was passing by them to get to my car. 

And when I showed up to class on Monday and Tuesday, my classmates kept giving me double-takes. They clearly knew who I was because I spoke up a few times in class during lecture. And apparently, this one guy was checking me out despite wearing the plainest of outfits - and he has never paid attention to me before until now. Oh yeah, and I was wearing a casual down jacket with a horribly faded grey T-shirt, SPORTY sweats, sneakers, and a cadet cap. The plainest and ugliest most beautiful and sexy of outfits.

Knowing how cisgender people think, I probably looked like a lesbian ((because no one believes that transmen exist)). So, I'm not sure why I'm getting the googly eyes.

As boring as the above text was, I guess I'm mostly irritated because it's a gentle reminder that transitioning is going to be a long road and I'm going to have to deal with shizz from other people during the process. And obviously it's going to be A LOT more than just "mean and suspicious looks" and that's what bothers me the most. I already got some lip from a few family members about it. Seriously if short hair is such a crime then GOD knows the kinds of reactions I'll get when I'm on hormones next year.

And it's not just anti-trans people that I don't have to look out for either, but I also have to look out for fake "trans-friendly" people as well (most of them are chasers or trying to one-up their social status by having a trans friend because they have SUCH an open mind).



Anyway, *has anyone else on here been treated differently because of their too long/short hair, choice of clothing, etc.?* Doesn't matter if trans or not, I'm curious about your experiences.


----------



## Mimi Cheems

The Sundae said:


> I was going to post this on a different forums, but I don't feel like taking their "well, BACK IN MY DAY" shizz right now.
> 
> Putting it in a spoiler because it's honestly not a big deal or remotely interesting, but I want to get it off my chest anyway. It's also a little long too.
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Okay, so I cut my hair even shorter than it was on Sunday. It's nothing like a pixie cut, but it's pretty short. Not even a few steps out of the salon, I already catch people giving me nasty glares and one woman actually violently pulled her kid away from me while I was passing by them to get to my car.
> 
> And when I showed up to class on Monday and Tuesday, my classmates kept giving me double-takes. They clearly knew who I was because I spoke up a few times in class during lecture. And apparently, this one guy was checking me out despite wearing the plainest of outfits - and he has never paid attention to me before until now. Oh yeah, and I was wearing a casual down jacket with a horribly faded grey T-shirt, SPORTY sweats, sneakers, and a cadet cap. The plainest and ugliest most beautiful and sexy of outfits.
> 
> Knowing how cisgender people think, I probably looked like a lesbian ((because no one believes that transmen exist)). So, I'm not sure why I'm getting the googly eyes.
> 
> As boring as the above text was, I guess I'm mostly irritated because it's a gentle reminder that transitioning is going to be a long road and I'm going to have to deal with shizz from other people during the process. And obviously it's going to be A LOT more than just "mean and suspicious looks" and that's what bothers me the most. I already got some lip from a few family members about it. Seriously if short hair is such a crime then GOD knows the kinds of reactions I'll get when I'm on hormones next year.
> 
> And it's not just anti-trans people that I don't have to look out for either, but I also have to look out for fake "trans-friendly" people as well (most of them are chasers or trying to one-up their social status by having a trans friend because they have SUCH an open mind).
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, *has anyone else on here been treated differently because of their too long/short hair, choice of clothing, etc.?* Doesn't matter if trans or not, I'm curious about your experiences.



Yeeeeeeeeeees v_v I have extremely short hair and I'm a girl-- and my grandma gives me such a hard time for it-- she also thinks I need to go to a religious school because I'm pansexual and I need to 'get back in touch with God' =3=
 Along with the way I dress, I'm a bit of a tomboy as it is, being raised around a lot of men who watched wrestling and played football all day-- I kind of inherited that and stuff. I dress in jeans, a baggy t-shirt and a hoodie... Nothing 'girly', and my grandma's like 
"WHY DO YOU NEVER DRESS UP FOR YOUR FAMILY?!!?!?!?! WEAR DRESSES!!!!" OTL


----------



## gem83

> Anyway, *has anyone else on here been treated differently because of their too long/short hair, choice of clothing, etc.?* Doesn't matter if trans or not, I'm curious about your experiences.



I've always dressed in a more "masculine" style and I cut all my hair off this year and the only people to give me hell for it were my parents. My mom constantly asks me if I'm a lesbian. And I live in the bible belt, so I'm surprised it's just them.


----------



## boujee

gem83 said:


> I mean I guess you could say that... I don't think it's like "I, gem83, truly believe I'm genderfluid" it's more like this is just how I am it's how I was born and it's how I've always felt





Mmmm. That's like a gray topic.
I can never really say I'm something for everyday I'm growing and what I'm liking constantly changes.
I thought I was straight but then I later grew a lack in men as time went by 
I then believe I was bisexual but as time went by I was more attracted to the female sex 
Then as time continue to go by, I really don't want to be in any type of relationship with neither sex(for people get on my nerves)
But I'm pretty sure my mindset will later change again as well 

That's why I'm asking questions for people believe they know but it's going to later change anyways as you continue to grow.
I may have a strict preference though


----------



## visibleghost

The Sundae said:


> I was going to post this on a different forums, but I don't feel like taking their "well, BACK IN MY DAY" shizz right now.
> 
> Putting it in a spoiler because it's honestly not a big deal or remotely interesting, but I want to get it off my chest anyway. It's also a little long too.
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> Okay, so I cut my hair even shorter than it was on Sunday. It's nothing like a pixie cut, but it's pretty short. Not even a few steps out of the salon, I already catch people giving me nasty glares and one woman actually violently pulled her kid away from me while I was passing by them to get to my car.
> 
> And when I showed up to class on Monday and Tuesday, my classmates kept giving me double-takes. They clearly knew who I was because I spoke up a few times in class during lecture. And apparently, this one guy was checking me out despite wearing the plainest of outfits - and he has never paid attention to me before until now. Oh yeah, and I was wearing a casual down jacket with a horribly faded grey T-shirt, SPORTY sweats, sneakers, and a cadet cap. The plainest and ugliest most beautiful and sexy of outfits.
> 
> Knowing how cisgender people think, I probably looked like a lesbian ((because no one believes that transmen exist)). So, I'm not sure why I'm getting the googly eyes.
> 
> As boring as the above text was, I guess I'm mostly irritated because it's a gentle reminder that transitioning is going to be a long road and I'm going to have to deal with shizz from other people during the process. And obviously it's going to be A LOT more than just "mean and suspicious looks" and that's what bothers me the most. I already got some lip from a few family members about it. Seriously if short hair is such a crime then GOD knows the kinds of reactions I'll get when I'm on hormones next year.
> 
> And it's not just anti-trans people that I don't have to look out for either, but I also have to look out for fake "trans-friendly" people as well (most of them are chasers or trying to one-up their social status by having a trans friend because they have SUCH an open mind).
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, *has anyone else on here been treated differently because of their too long/short hair, choice of clothing, etc.?* Doesn't matter if trans or not, I'm curious about your experiences.



wow that sucks so much???? like honestly wtf is up with all those people.......

I cut my hair last year and I got a few weird looks, comments and stuff, but it wasn't even close to what you experienced. 
Still, I have gotten treated differently but idk if it's because people think I'm a lesbian lmao. Homophobia isn't that big here? In school people are homophobic but it's not like anyone has confronted me about it.......,


----------



## Mimi Cheems

Well, the reason why I go by they/them, is because I'm not sure whether I'd consider myself male or female. I'm not neither... I'm just; confused. It's a struggle to be going through daily life questioning;; am I male or female? With everyone walking past me and immediately assuming I'm a he because of my short hair, really makes me second guess on my gender identity. Which is, obviously, the gender we identify ourselves as, or the gender we want to be identified/recognized as. The way I dress, to society, is another reason why I constantly inquire nearly every 5 seconds;; "Should I be a male?" and at the end of the day, it's difficult for me to cope with what society thinks I am, and what I think I am. I think, as a whole, could be either one. But I'm kind of forcing myself to pick one or the other.


----------



## gem83

Bucky Barnes said:


> Well, the reason why I go by they/them, is because I'm not sure whether I'd consider myself male or female. I'm not neither... I'm just; confused. It's a struggle to be going through daily life questioning;; am I male or female? With everyone walking past me and immediately assuming I'm a he because of my short hair, really makes me second guess on my gender identity. Which is, obviously, the gender we identify ourselves as, or the gender we want to be identified/recognized as. The way I dress, to society, is another reason why I constantly inquire nearly every 5 seconds;; "Should I be a male?" and at the end of the day, it's difficult for me to cope with what society thinks I am, and what I think I am. I think, as a whole, could be either one. But I'm kind of forcing myself to pick one or the other.



This a very good way to say it. This is exactly how I feel, too.


----------



## Jarrad

Bucky Barnes said:


> Well, the reason why I go by they/them, is because I'm not sure whether I'd consider myself male or female. I'm not neither... I'm just; confused. It's a struggle to be going through daily life questioning;; am I male or female? With everyone walking past me and immediately assuming I'm a he because of my short hair, really makes me second guess on my gender identity. Which is, obviously, the gender we identify ourselves as, or the gender we want to be identified/recognized as. The way I dress, to society, is another reason why I constantly inquire nearly every 5 seconds;; "Should I be a male?" and at the end of the day, it's difficult for me to cope with what society thinks I am, and what I think I am. I think, as a whole, could be either one. But I'm kind of forcing myself to pick one or the other.



after reading this I feel so glad to know what I am and what I identify as.

Good luck on your quest to find out who you truly are.


----------



## Mimi Cheems

Jarrad said:


> after reading this I feel so glad to know what I am and what I identify as.
> 
> Good luck on your quest to find out who you truly are.



Thank you Jarrad c:


----------



## boujee

Bucky Barnes said:


> Well, the reason why I go by they/them, is because I'm not sure whether I'd consider myself male or female. I'm not neither... I'm just; confused. It's a struggle to be going through daily life questioning;; am I male or female? With everyone walking past me and immediately assuming I'm a he because of my short hair, really makes me second guess on my gender identity. Which is, obviously, the gender we identify ourselves as, or the gender we want to be identified/recognized as. The way I dress, to society, is another reason why I constantly inquire nearly every 5 seconds;; "Should I be a male?" and at the end of the day, it's difficult for me to cope with what society thinks I am, and what I think I am. I think, as a whole, could be either one. But I'm kind of forcing myself to pick one or the other.



This is what I was asking earlier because you seem more confuse than certain. I don't need a "what if" I need a "I am"
You said you're stuck in between because people say you have short hair so you're a boy, you have other people who have short hair and people don't think they're a boy, they just have short hair. This also goes towards what Sugilite was sayin with half-ass responses. If you don't know she don't know


----------



## Hermione Granger

Bucky Barnes said:


> Well, the reason why I go by they/them, is because I'm not sure whether I'd consider myself male or female. I'm not neither... I'm just; confused. It's a struggle to be going through daily life questioning;; am I male or female? With everyone walking past me and immediately assuming I'm a he because of my short hair, really makes me second guess on my gender identity. Which is, obviously, the gender we identify ourselves as, or the gender we want to be identified/recognized as. The way I dress, to society, is another reason why I constantly inquire nearly every 5 seconds;; "Should I be a male?" and at the end of the day, it's difficult for me to cope with what society thinks I am, and what I think I am. I think, as a whole, could be either one. But I'm kind of forcing myself to pick one or the other.



When I started cutting my hair short (pixie cut) a lot of people thought I was a lesbian. I even had a friend come up to me a year later and say that he initially thought I was a lesbian based on my haircut. Society will always label you somehow, even for the smallest things. I hope you find your happiness one day.


----------



## Mimi Cheems

Gamzee said:


> This is what I was asking earlier because you seem more confuse than certain. I don't need a "what if" I need a "I am"
> You said you're stuck in between because people say you have short hair so you're a boy, you have other people who have short hair and people don't think they're a boy, they just have short hair. This also goes towards what Sugilite was sayin with half-ass responses. If you don't know she don't know



I'm going to try to word this as best as I can. I sort of know who I am already, but I kind of don't. It's just that I currently feel comfortable as 'they' or 'them'. What I am? I'm really not totally sure. I'm leaning towards female, and even more now that my other personality who portrays himself as a male, has vanished completely from my mentality. He was the 'male' part of my mind, forcing me to be in a masculine mindset. Then there was another part who just wanted me to be me. A female. I was born like that, but then this 'personality' comes in and makes me very confused about who I really want to be. Sometimes, I'm all 'hell yeah let's wear dresses and do makeup and false nails'. Then, sometimes I'm like, 'woo football, lets watch wrestling, lets do cool things'

 Not only that, but because I like boys AND girls, I feel like I have to be a male to like girls. My other personality thought that a lot too. He said I had to be a guy in order to like women, want to date them, etc. So that also really made me contemplate my gender identity. I'm starting to realize that I don't have to be a male to like girls, but it still certainly feels that way to me... Anyways, back on to what society thinks I am v.s what I personally think I am. Society looks at me as if I'm a boy, but what I truly think I am is just a female with masculine traits/tendencies... It's all very confusing XD


----------



## boujee

Bucky Barnes said:


> I'm going to try to word this as best as I can. I sort of know who I am already, but I kind of don't. It's just that I currently feel comfortable as 'they' or 'them'. What I am? I'm really not totally sure. I'm leaning towards female, and even more now that my other personality who portrays himself as a male, has vanished completely from my mentality. He was the 'male' part of my mind, forcing me to be in a masculine mindset. Then there was another part who just wanted me to be me. A female. I was born like that, but then this 'personality' comes in and makes me very confused about who I really want to be. Sometimes, I'm all 'hell yeah let's wear dresses and do makeup and false nails'. Then, sometimes I'm like, 'woo football, lets watch wrestling, lets do cool things'
> 
> Not only that, but because I like boys AND girls, I feel like I have to be a male to like girls. My other personality thought that a lot too. He said I had to be a guy in order to like women, want to date them, etc. So that also really made me contemplate my gender identity. I'm starting to realize that I don't have to be a male to like girls, but it still certainly feels that way to me... Anyways, back on to what society thinks I am v.s what I personally think I am. Society looks at me as if I'm a boy, but what I truly think I am is just a female with masculine traits/tendencies... It's all very confusing XD




That sense of dominance. Just be you lol.
You sound Demi.


----------



## Mimi Cheems

Gamzee said:


> That sense of dominance. Just be you lol.
> You sound Demi.



As in demi-romantic? To be honest---- wait you know you're actually kind of right. I'm dating my best friend since pre-school... I love her so much hnnnn <333 We have such a strong bond like there are so many pictures of us when we were in pre-school we were kyoot asf


----------



## The Sundae

Bucky Barnes said:


> As in demi-romantic?



I think Gamzee meant "demi" as in demigender.


----------



## boujee

I was thinking more of you being a Demi-boy/girl
But that can work too! I consider myself Demi-sexual


----------



## Gregriii

I thought that demisexual people were demi lovato's fans


----------



## boujee

Gregriii said:


> I thought that demisexual people were demi lovato's fans




I'm sinning


----------



## Jas0n

Re-opened.

Please keep things civil folks! Any issues, make sure you report them instead of escalating the arguments.


----------



## cIementine

thanks Jason!


----------



## gem83

Yeess thank youuu

sorry for arguing w/ everyone hhhhhh the pasT is in the paaAAAAAST LET IT GOOOO LET IT GOOOOO


----------



## cIementine

gem83 said:


> Yeess thank youuu
> 
> sorry for arguing w/ everyone hhhhhh the pasT is in the paaAAAAAST LET IT GOOOO LET IT GOOOOO



- as elsa the great philosopher once said.


----------



## Sleepi

pumpkins said:


> thanks Jason!



what pumpkins said, thank you! c:


----------



## Shimmer

I have a question for you all. 

If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?


----------



## visibleghost

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If you're sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



i currently identify as asexual and aromantic and naahhh. I just don't talk about it. I would maybe feel the need to come out with my sexuality if I had a partner or wanted to have a partner or whatever but honestly atm I'm just like no thanks so I never speak about it. My sexual and romantic orientation isn't something I walk around thinking loads about. It's just like a lack of finding people sexy and wanting to be in a relationship...... so like.... it's not that important to me so why would it be important to my parents


----------



## Sleepi

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



it's really dependant on the person, some people feel the need to and others don't o: i'm also asexual and demiromantic, so really I don't feel the need to tell anyone ;w; it's none of their business, and also if I wanted to (which I don't) it would most likely be difficult to explain.


----------



## GalacticGhost

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



Not really, because I haven't really talked about it with my mum. In fact, I don't feel the need to 'come out' to anyone, because I don't know anyone who has had a crush on me or anything. If my mum was pressuring me to have a boyfriend and kids or something like that, then yes I would, but she hasn't. Idk what she thinks of LGBTQA+ people, so I wouldn't take the risk of 'coming out' randomly one day though, just incase she turns out to be 'disappointed' or something if I told her I was asexual.


----------



## Bowie

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



No. I think that, in my case specifically, I didn't really have to come out. I'm quite a stereotypical gay. I wore make-up when I was younger, I played with dolls, and even now I dress rather feminine, and I listen to a lot of disco music. This is all unintentional, though. I just happen to like things that fall into the category of a stereotypical gay. I've never tried to be feminine, or masculine for that matter. That being said, it does make things a little easier. Coming out is something that I've perhaps done from the day I was born, very gradually.


----------



## Vida

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



Well, I at some point felt the need to tell my mother because we are close and have a good relationship. She reacted really negatively that Im bisexual and she still acts weird about it. I dont live at home anymore fortunately. I wouldn't have told her if I was still living at home.


----------



## Gregriii

this MIGHT sound homophobe or something nlike that but that's NOT the intention;

Why the community at first is called "LGBT" (u can add Q and A)?? Transexuality is not a sexuality + I don't see why asexuality is not one of the basics. You can like boys, girls, both or none


----------



## Chris

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



No. I feel it's irrelevant. I know my family would be accepting about it so there's no fear in saying anything; I just don't really feel a need to state it - especially as I'm in a heterosexual relationship.


----------



## cornimer

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



Kind of?  I mean I haven't told my mom yet but she keeps talking about me getting a boyfriend and having kids and stuff.  I'm trying to drop subtle hints but I feel like one day soon I'm just going to have to go NOOOOOOO.  And then bring out the "What is Asexuality" powerpoint that I may or may not have made.  ^-^


----------



## Tease

Wait females really go onto grindr and pretend to be a guy? ..why? I don't even get that otl, there are more straight men than gay (maybe) so that's just.. wow.

I'm bisexual and proud. My friend is homosexual biromantic. I've never really been in an actual relationship. Half me being awkward as hell, half me being anti-social as hell. I would love to be in a relationship, but I have to get comfortable with my body first. But I've been bisexual for as long as I can remember (literally since I was small) and I went through a denial period in middle school. It didn't last long because you can't just hide half of your life.

- - - Post Merge - - -

The other day, my mom asked me my sexuality.. I laughed. #NotReadyForThatYet


----------



## gem83

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



Nope, partly because it's not their business and partly because they are the least accepting people in the world, especially when it comes to LGBTQA+.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



Not really. They already know because I don't keep it a secret or anything and they're very supporting. I never felt the need to make a whole announcement about it. And if I make any friends, I probably won't bother bringing it up unless I'm interested in them or they hound me on it.


----------



## eggs

Gregriii said:


> this MIGHT sound homophobe or something nlike that but that's NOT the intention;
> 
> Why the community at first is called "LGBT" (u can add Q and A)?? Transexuality is not a sexuality + I don't see why asexuality is not one of the basics. You can like boys, girls, both or none



GLAAD (a prominent LGBT organization) says it better than i can:



> "GLAAD stands firmly with the transgender community and unequivocally rejects the outrageous and destructive idea that the ?T? be removed from LGBT. For decades, transgender people have worked alongside lesbian, gay, and bisexual people to advance equality for everyone, often leading the way in the movement for full equality and acceptance. Many trans people are also lesbian, gay, and bisexual ? they are an inextricable and invaluable part of the LGB community. At a time when anti-LGBT activists continue to attack the basic rights and protections essential to all of our lives, we must stand together, rather than succumb to the ruin of divisiveness."



tl;dr: although yes, transexuality is not a sexuality, it's still a major part of the community. transsexual/transgender people advocate for many of the same things gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, etc people do.

and as for the asexuality bit, asexuality =/= not liking boys or girl. you can be asexual and still like other people. i think you're getting "asexual" mixed up with "aromantic". aromantic = not being romantically attracted any gender, whereas asexual = not being sexually attracted to any gender.
being aromantic and/or asexual is seen as very "unnatural" in society, especially western countries, resulting in little to no representation in the media, invisibility, and so on and so forth. however, i'm not aro/ace myself, so i don't want to get too much into that.


----------



## Ghost Soda

Jarrad said:


> His/Her friends don't know that he/she's gay, if you read the comment properly.
> 
> It's easy to say stuff like "Stop being friends with X because of what he/she does/said." and honestly it's not helpful at all. In highschool/college or whatever this kid's in, it's not easy to make friends. Friends at those phases of life are luxuries that not everybody gets to have, so you should cherish whatever relationships you have with people and only work on strengthening them, not dismissing people because of what they don't know.
> 
> Keep them as friends. If you're truly close to them and feel comfortable telling them that you're gay then do it! I wish my friend came out to me earlier than she did because I know for certain we would be so much closer had she done so (and vice versa, I'm sure). If they accept you for who you are then that's good! If they don't, then explain to them why it's bad to judge people based on their sexualities, and even then if they're still uncooperative then the best case scenario would be to just un-friend them if there's nothing else you can do to help aid their ignorance.
> 
> Good luck!



I didn't say "leave you friends b/c they don't know you're gay", I was telling them that _if _their friends leave them because they're gay, then they're *******s. (the friends, not op)


----------



## Jarrad

Ghost Soda said:


> I didn't say "leave you friends b/c they don't know you're gay", I was telling them that _if _their friends leave them because they're gay, then they're *******s. (the friends, not op)



You said "get better friends"?? :s


----------



## 00jachna

Sigh... my dad is very homophoic (and racisist, for that matter), I wonder how he will react when he finds out that I'm gay.
I don't think it's very obvious that I am gay since I don't really do all of the stereotypical gay things.

I don't plan on doing a big announcement or anything, buuuttt.... what if I bring home a BF for christmas or something in the future?
That ought to be intresting


----------



## Knopekin

Shimmer said:


> I have a question for you all.
> 
> If your sexuality is something other than straight, do you feel the need to alert your parents or "come out?" Why or why not?



I told my parents when I had a girlfriend and they were fine about it. The same as they were when my sister brought home a boyfriend. It wasn't 'coming out' as much as it was 'telling them about someone in my life'.

They've been incredibly supportive after my girlfriend of nearly four years left me a few months ago, and I'm really sorry for people who don't have parental support, because I don't know what I'd have done without mine :<


----------



## visibleghost

00jachna said:


> Sigh... my dad is very homophoic (and racisist, for that matter), I wonder how he will react when he finds out that I'm gay.
> I don't think it's very obvious that I am gay since I don't really do all of the stereotypical gay things.
> 
> I don't plan on doing a big announcement or anything, buuuttt.... what if I bring home a BF for christmas or something in the future?
> That ought to be intresting



wow that sucks 
I hope your dad changes his mind, it's really uncomfortable to have to be around someone who can't accept or respect other people, especially if you're one of the people they can't accept or respect


----------



## radical6

Gregriii said:


> this MIGHT sound homophobe or something nlike that but that's NOT the intention;
> 
> Why the community at first is called "LGBT" (u can add Q and A)?? Transexuality is not a sexuality + I don't see why asexuality is not one of the basics. You can like boys, girls, both or none



uhhh....

because trans women helped in stonewall. stonewall is one of the biggest moments in LGBT history and trans women helped largely in that 

trans people seem to be often lgb too. trans experiences are very similar to lgb experiences as well..

we wouldnt have the lgbt movement we have today if it wasnt for trans people lol..


----------



## Knopekin

The application for my current job had a equalities and diversity section on the application (they ask your age, dis/ability, maritial status, etc.) and under 'sexual orientation' transgender was one of the options. 

I'm leaving soon, I might send them an email to let them know how wrong they are.


----------



## visibleghost

Knopekin said:


> The application for my current job had a equalities and diversity section on the application (they ask your age, dis/ability, maritial status, etc.) and under 'sexual orientation' transgender was one of the options.
> 
> I'm leaving soon, I might send them an email to let them know how wrong they are.



wow eugh..., that sucks, i hope they're just not informed and will change it if you let them know.


----------



## oath2order

Knopekin said:


> The application for my current job had a equalities and diversity section on the application (they ask your age, dis/ability, maritial status, etc.) and under 'sexual orientation' transgender was one of the options.
> 
> I'm leaving soon, I might send them an email to let them know how wrong they are.



Maybe they thought LGBT was just sexualities.


----------



## radical6

you know Group Health is taking a lot of steps rn especially with doctors and psychs/therapists to be more LGBT inclusive

i mean they got like all the sexuality **** down, even asexuality to aromantic

but transgender was labelled mtf and ftm and while i understand some people like those terms i find them kind of insulting because it technically implies before you transition (which not all ppl can do btw) ur a guy/girl 

anyway theyre putting the lgbt poster stuff like everywhere which is nice


----------



## Chris

Knopekin said:


> The application for my current job had a equalities and diversity section on the application (they ask your age, dis/ability, maritial status, etc.) and under 'sexual orientation' transgender was one of the options.
> 
> I'm leaving soon, I might send them an email to let them know how wrong they are.



I find it bizarre that they'd even ask that on a job application form.


----------



## device

Tina said:


> I find it bizarre that they'd even ask that on a job application form.



why is it bizarre?


----------



## Chris

device said:


> why is it bizarre?



For the vast majority of jobs a person's sexuality is completely irrelevant to their professional life, so it seems unnecessarily intrusive to ask IMO.


----------



## gem83

Tina said:


> For the vast majority of jobs a person's sexuality is completely irrelevant to their professional life, so it seems unnecessarily intrusive to ask IMO.



so they can know who to hate on more easily Nahhh Idk... Maybe for jobs that offer healthcare, they'd have to know if you're trans to know if you're on hormones or not??? I have no idea, that's a huuuuge stretch lol. I agree that it's needlessly nosy. Also the fact that transgender is not a sexuality.


----------



## PastelPrincess

came out to my family as a lesbian a few years ago and they still have not let me come home....
i am originally from korea now living in america

- - - Post Merge - - -

today marks 3 years since i've seen my little sister


----------



## oath2order

PastelPrincess said:


> came out to my family as a lesbian a few years ago and they still have not let me come home....
> i am originally from korea now living in america
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> today marks 3 years since i've seen my little sister



**** your parents kicked you out of the country?


----------



## Shimmer

Knopekin said:


> The application for my current job had a equalities and diversity section on the application (they ask your age, dis/ability, maritial status, etc.) and under 'sexual orientation' transgender was one of the options.
> 
> I'm leaving soon, I might send them an email to let them know how wrong they are.



I heard that them asking your marital status and sexual orientation is illegal.


----------



## PastelPrincess

they sent me to america to "study" but i suppose you can say i was kicked out


----------



## radical6

PastelPrincess said:


> they sent me to america to "study" but i suppose you can say i was kicked out



im sorry to hear that, but at least you're away from their bs now. are you doing fine financially? if they just kicked you out like that with no support overseas.. that is a **** move.


----------



## PastelPrincess

justice said:


> im sorry to hear that, but at least you're away from their bs now. are you doing fine financially? if they just kicked you out like that with no support overseas.. that is a **** move.



im doing ok, i could be better but this is as good as it gets when you're riddled with student loans. if it weren't for my minority and music scholarships i would probably not even be making it work somehow


----------



## visibleghost

PastelPrincess said:


> came out to my family as a lesbian a few years ago and they still have not let me come home....
> i am originally from korea now living in america
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> today marks 3 years since i've seen my little sister


that is so ****ed up
are u doing alright


----------



## Vida

PastelPrincess said:


> came out to my family as a lesbian a few years ago and they still have not let me come home....
> i am originally from korea now living in america
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> today marks 3 years since i've seen my little sister



Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that :/ Hope you're OK. Are you still in touch with your parents, I mean, do you talk to them on the phone sometimes or is there no contact at all?


----------



## PastelPrincess

Vida said:


> Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that :/ Hope you're OK. Are you still in touch with your parents, I mean, do you talk to them on the phone sometimes or is there no contact at all?



no we don't talk anymore, they used to contact me asking if i wasn't gay anymore though that stopped about a year ago

- - - Post Merge - - -



lencurryboy said:


> that is so ****ed up
> are u doing alright



i'm getting by somehow. i saw this thread and thought it might be nice to spill this to some people who arent trying to get into my pants or saying i just havent met the right guy


----------



## Llust

PastelPrincess said:


> i'm getting by somehow. i saw this thread and thought it might be nice to spill this to some people who arent trying to get into my pants or saying i just havent met the right guy



im so sorry this is happening. i honestly dont know how hard this must have been on you. if you need anyone to talk to then dont hesitate to send a pm, i have high hopes of your situation getting better


----------



## emolga

PastelPrincess said:


> came out to my family as a lesbian a few years ago and they still have not let me come home....
> i am originally from korea now living in america
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> today marks 3 years since i've seen my little sister



i'm really sorry, that's so awful to hear. it's upsetting how many parents are still close-minded and unaccepting


----------



## chillv

Oh yeah, and this is kinda me stating the obvious. But I'm no longer homophobic and am currently accepting my true sexuality. I am what I would believe is identified as androsexual (people who like masculinity) because I like guys and tomboys. However, I have very little interest in being in relationships with girls in general and aren't attracted to them really romantically or sexually, so I just identify myself as homosexual.

I've came out to a couple of my freinds. However, I still have yet to come out to my parents because I feel they will ask invasive questions (e.g.and constantly bug me about it. They already don't like the fact that I'm agnostic. I know they'll accept me no matter what, but still.


----------



## Titi

So, something pretty traumatic happened to me yesterday evening... I've mentionned here before that I'm not very comfortable with my sexuality, and thus don't mention it to people unless I feel really close to someone. 

Well, recently I came out to someone in my kickboxing class who I believed to be a friend. Oh I was so wrong. She told everyone, and it turns out my female kickboxing classmates are a bunch of *****es. They complained to management and I now do not have the right to use the changing room or showers there. Yeah. They told me in a very matter of fact way "you know, it makes other girls uncomfortable. It's normal. It's nothing against you, try to understand." I said "sure, ok" and left, I was pretty shocked and didn't know what else to say. I got home and bawled for hours. I have never dealt with discrimination before. 

I have a kickboxing evaluation next monday, and I don't know if I can bring myself to go. Hell, I don't know if I can ever go back.


----------



## Alienfish

emolga said:


> i'm really sorry, that's so awful to hear. it's upsetting how many parents are still close-minded and unaccepting



this. or when they are obviously narrow-minded and/or naive asf and act thereafter. I mean it wouldn't hurt to get some facts and stop making rude comments. :/


----------



## chillv

Titi said:


> So, something pretty traumatic happened to me yesterday evening... I've mentionned here before that I'm not very comfortable with my sexuality, and thus don't mention it to people unless I feel really close to someone.
> 
> Well, recently I came out to someone in my kickboxing class who I believed to be a friend. Oh I was so wrong. She told everyone, and it turns out my female kickboxing classmates are a bunch of *****es. They complained to management and I now do not have the right to use the changing room or showers there. Yeah. They told me in a very matter of fact way "you know, it makes other girls uncomfortable. It's normal. It's nothing against you, try to understand." I said "sure, ok" and left, I was pretty shocked and didn't know what else to say. I got home and bawled for hours. I have never dealt with discrimination before.
> 
> I have a kickboxing evaluation next monday, and I don't know if I can bring myself to go. Hell, I don't know if I can ever go back.



Oh my god, I could bare reading this without becoming enraged. If that was me, somebody, if anybody was not going to come home unscathed. That was like, the definition of homophobia.


----------



## shunishu

@titi, sorry that happened to you. its so frustrating, irritating and scary, when the people in power, that you would normally complain to are homophobic & ignorant too and don't get it that you are the victim in this situation. makes you feel so powerless. you're right to be shocked by this, its not acceptable.
just know that you don't have to endure it, you don't have to win them over or change their minds. it's not a safe environment. there are other spots, where you can practice your sport and hobbies in peace. 
if they say any more to you or if you decide to quit, make it clear that they are being homophobic and ignorant and that their behaviour is unacceptable. (maybe you can even ask for money back, if the club costs money idk, if you quit pre- evaluation, due to harassment idk) don't eat everything up. do you have friends irl, you can talk to about this? when you're not out or comfortable with yourself, dealing with such things can be difficult.

also make sure to block this person on social media, if you added her anywhere and delete her number.


----------



## Knopekin

Tina said:


> I find it bizarre that they'd even ask that on a job application form.





Shimmer said:


> I heard that them asking your marital status and sexual orientation is illegal.



It's a weird one, but in the UK you can't ask things like that at an interview, but almost all jobs will ask you things like that on the job application, so they can monitor 'equality and diversity' in their workplace. When you submit an application, the personal information is sent to one part of the company, and isn't seen by the people who are hiring you, to make sure prejudices are kept to a minimum. 

There's a lot of protection in place for LGBT people in the UK, and even if people do have private prejudices, it's extremely socially unacceptable to voice them, and doing so in a workplace can get you fired. I'm working in a place that's rural and pretty small-town minded, but nobody's batted an eyelid when I've mentioned my ex girlfriend in conversation.

Which makes it even more awful to read about awful stuff like Titi and PastelPrincess' situations  It's terrible that people can be so horrible and face no consequences.


----------



## shunishu

PastelPrincess said:


> no we don't talk anymore, they used to contact me asking if i wasn't gay anymore though that stopped about a year ago



screw them! thats so awful and difficult :/. don't waste more time and energy being upset about them, you can make your own family & friends that love you! <3

hope your sister is ok too. do you still have contact online?
anyway, it's not good to deal with these things all alone long-term, so thanks for sharing and glad you got it out. ^^


----------



## Vida

PastelPrincess said:


> no we don't talk anymore, they used to contact me asking if i wasn't gay anymore though that stopped about a year ago



Oh my, I'm so sorry :c That must have been really hard for you. Are you at least happy to be in America now or would you rather go back to Korea?

- - - Post Merge - - -

@ titi
I'm sorry that happened to you. I understand that this was traumatic for you too. My advice for you is not to stay there any longer because seriously, I don't think they'll change their minds anytime soon and they will probably continue to act weird/homophobic towards you. There is certainly another place to do kickboxing somewhere near you where it's safer.


----------



## Shimmer

Vida said:


> @ titi
> I'm sorry that happened to you. I understand that this was traumatic for you too. My advice for you is not to stay there any longer because seriously, I don't think they'll change their minds anytime soon and they will probably continue to act weird/homophobic towards you. There is certainly another place to do kickboxing somewhere near you where it's safer.



This. Don't dare give them anymore of your money. They're douchebags. That's insane that a professional place would act like that.


----------



## Alienfish

Titi said:


> So, something pretty traumatic happened to me yesterday evening... I've mentionned here before that I'm not very comfortable with my sexuality, and thus don't mention it to people unless I feel really close to someone.
> 
> Well, recently I came out to someone in my kickboxing class who I believed to be a friend. Oh I was so wrong. She told everyone, and it turns out my female kickboxing classmates are a bunch of *****es. They complained to management and I now do not have the right to use the changing room or showers there. Yeah. They told me in a very matter of fact way "you know, it makes other girls uncomfortable. It's normal. It's nothing against you, try to understand." I said "sure, ok" and left, I was pretty shocked and didn't know what else to say. I got home and bawled for hours. I have never dealt with discrimination before.
> 
> I have a kickboxing evaluation next monday, and I don't know if I can bring myself to go. Hell, I don't know if I can ever go back.



Wow, just holy shizz. I hope you're doing alright  Also I wouldn't say it's normal to be that phobic.. :/

And yeah, I'm very careful to who I spill stuff too since I have really large trust issues(not only these things but in general) because a lot of people are like this and they have no idea what it is (in cases they are just as naive and doesn't want to know).

I don't know how your situation is in general if you could talk to someone else(or anyone responsible for your class). Also obviously it's something against you for them whether they're not educated on it or they don't want to grasp different subjects. I hope you can make it some way, don't let them win over you.

Also if it's that bad you could leave the club, if they are gonna continue that act they are not worth it either.


----------



## PastelPrincess

Vida said:


> Oh my, I'm so sorry :c That must have been really hard for you. Are you at least happy to be in America now or would you rather go back to Korea?



I would love to go back but I would never fully be able to "go back" if you get what I mean.


----------



## Alienfish

Shimmer said:


> This. Don't dare give them anymore of your money. They're douchebags. That's insane that a professional place would act like that.



Yeah, sadly a lot of people are uneducated on these topics so they don't really know how to react to it and just go along with those people not into it that are complaining. One could wish that stuff would be a must to know if you want to be a leader/coach nowdays.


----------



## visibleghost

you know when people use gay as an insult and then when they get called out they are all like "SO IS IT BAD TO SAY GAY NOW OMG -___-" yeah, this super ****ty kid who i hate did that in music class yesterday and i stopped myself from picking up a chair and hitting him in the face with it i feel like such a fairy. instead i yelled at him for being a homophobe but i don't really think he cared lmao

another fun thing, most people at my school are transphobic af. ha hah. i'm getting so fed up w hearing all these comments and things they call each other and other people, honestly it would be great if all the ignorant cis ppl at my school would accidentally get hit by a train because then i wouldn't have to be around them anymore : ) 

idk i just felt like ranting a bit. does anyone have any nice experience as being lgbtq+ that they could share so i could get a lil faith in humanity back or something idk


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> you know when people use gay as an insult and then when they get called out they are all like "SO IS IT BAD TO SAY GAY NOW OMG -___-" yeah, this super ****ty kid who i hate did that in music class yesterday and i stopped myself from picking up a chair and hitting him in the face with it i feel like such a fairy. instead i yelled at him for being a homophobe but i don't really think he cared lmao
> 
> another fun thing, most people at my school are transphobic af. ha hah. i'm getting so fed up w hearing all these comments and things they call each other and other people, honestly it would be great if all the ignorant cis ppl at my school would accidentally get hit by a train because then i wouldn't have to be around them anymore : )
> 
> idk i just felt like ranting a bit. does anyone have any nice experience as being lgbtq+ that they could share so i could get a lil faith in humanity back or something idk



as much as i agree that transphobia and homophobia sucks complete ass, i don't really agree with the comments of "i wish cis people would get hit by a train", trust me i understand how much it sucks to not be accepted for who you are and how frustrated it can be.. but wishing death upon anyone is just as bad as hating someone for being who they are if not worse. but that's just my opinion.

just let karma get their ass, don't need to stoop to the hatred level of the ignorant.


----------



## visibleghost

taesaek said:


> as much as i agree that transphobia and homophobia sucks complete ass, i don't really agree with the comments of "i wish cis people would get hit by a train", trust me i understand how much it sucks to not be accepted for who you are and how frustrated it can be.. but wishing death upon anyone is just as bad as hating someone for being who they are if not worse. but that's just my opinion.
> 
> just let karma get their ass, don't need to stoop to the hatred level of the ignorant.


yah, well i wont actually hit them w a train and i just say that bc im frustrated  lmao. but honestly cis ppl suck
it's just rly sucky that they never have to face any consequences even tho they're ew


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> idk i just felt like ranting a bit. does anyone have any nice experience as being lgbtq+ that they could share so i could get a lil faith in humanity back or something idk



tbh i kinda agree with taesaek here, just ignore them. time will slap their ass.

i get your thing about people being phobic about everything asf just cause it's a common casual attitude and they claim it doesn't have a meaning until it's serious which kinda annoys me cause my mom is like that.. as soon as someone/something is gay/trans/ace whatever in the hole she makes rude comments -_- yet she has friends in the community lol :/

good experiences.. probably this one good friend i have irl who isn't judgmental ..cause i told them i am pretty much pansexual cause i never cared much about genders in that matter or limiting myself and they kinda got it without asking rude stuff.


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> yah, well i wont actually hit them w a train and i just say that bc im frustrated  lmao. but honestly cis ppl suck
> it's just rly sucky that they never have to face any consequences even tho they're ew



loads of cis people face millions of consequences throughout their lives, just like any non-binary human being would..frustrated or not, wishing death upon anyone is pretty messed up, regardless if you find it to be "a joke" or something you say out of frustration. wishing death upon someone bares a lot of consequences too and that has nothing to do with how you identify. 

it drives me crazy when people on the lgbtqa+ community throw blatant hate towards anyone of cis identity. yeah lots of people aren't going to accept us for who we are and that's absolutely horrible, but defining every cis person as "ew"  and terrible is like saying all Muslims are terrorists. it's rude, it's inaccurate and quite frankly, it's just incredibly childish. 



- - - Post Merge - - -

be angry all you want, you can do that. but getting angry at hate, and returning it with even more hate is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. you're not going anywhere, and you're making it worse for yourself.


----------



## Alienfish

taesaek said:


> it drives me crazy when people on the lgbtqa+ community throw blatant hate towards anyone of cis identity. yeah lots of people aren't going to accept us for who we are and that's absolutely horrible, but defining every cis person as "ew"  and terrible is like saying all Muslims are terrorists. it's rude, it's inaccurate and quite frankly, it's just incredibly childish.



well if people could stop being so casual and naive/non-informed it would make shizz easier to be honest. also well, while at times it's just angry a lot of people have someone they don't really want in their life regardless of the issues.


----------



## visibleghost

taesaek said:


> loads of cis people face millions of consequences throughout their lives, just like any non-binary human being would..frustrated or not, wishing death upon anyone is pretty messed up, regardless if you find it to be "a joke" or something you say out of frustration. wishing death upon someone bares a lot of consequences too and that has nothing to do with how you identify.
> 
> it drives me crazy when people on the lgbtqa+ community throw blatant hate towards anyone of cis identity. yeah lots of people aren't going to accept us for who we are and that's absolutely horrible, but defining every cis person as "ew"  and terrible is like saying all Muslims are terrorists. it's rude, it's inaccurate and quite frankly, it's just incredibly childish.
> 
> 
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> be angry all you want, you can do that. but getting angry at hate, and returning it with even more hate is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. you're not going anywhere, and you're making it worse for yourself.



ok first of all i wrote "honestly it would be great if all the ignorant cis ppl at my school would accidentally get hit by a train because then i wouldn't have to be around them anymore". 
Note the "ignorant cis ppl at my school" part. idc about cis people in general. i was really frustrated and fed up and tired of my school and how ignorant everyone is, which is why i wrote that. if you think i'm messed up for thinking that then fine whatever.
and yah ik that cis ppl can have sucky lives too smh. they dont have it bad because theyre cis tho


hope i'm not igniting a flamewar but..,

_"defining every cis person as "ew" and terrible is like saying all Muslims are terrorists."_
what?????? no. there is a very big difference between a trans person saying that cis people are "ew" and someone who isn't muslim saying that all muslims are terrorists.

basically, me saying that cis people are "ew" won't hurt anyone. it doesn't contribitute to the "oppression of cis people", since it doesn't exist. cis people have power and privelege for being cis. 
when i wrote "cis people" i didnt mean every individual cis person on earth. i more kind of meant The Cis Society and cis ppl in general lmao if that sounds bad then idk i don't mean that i hate every cis person for being cis lmao.
_
"be angry all you want, you can do that. but getting angry at hate, and returning it with even more hate is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. you're not going anywhere, and you're making it worse for yourself."_
ik that my anger wont change anything and that it only hurts myself. if i could just shrug off transphobia i would do it lmao but i kind of cannot? I ignore it most of the time but sometimes i just doesn't really work out lmao. also if cis ppl get offended from me calling them "ew" then honestly they can go away because i dont have time for that


----------



## Gregriii

lencurryboy said:


> yah, well i wont actually hit them w a train and i just say that bc im frustrated  lmao. but honestly cis ppl suck
> it's just rly sucky that they never have to face any consequences even tho they're ew



so u can't be judged by trans/homophobes but u can actually say that cis suck??? 

Wow


----------



## visibleghost

Gregriii said:


> so u can't be judged by trans/homophobes but u can actually say that cis suck???
> 
> Wow



ya h because cisphobia isnt real


----------



## tae

Moko said:


> well if people could stop being so casual and naive/non-informed it would make shizz easier to be honest. also well, while at times it's just angry a lot of people have someone they don't really want in their life regardless of the issues.



dealing with ignorance is always going to be an uphill battle, and sadly we can only do so much to inform the bigoted. i have a long list of people whom i wish i never met, a loong list of people who've treated me poorly for being trans but i don't hate cis people, i don't even hate the ignorant cis people, i pity them, honestly. it's not my fault they're close minded or spiteful. i'll take my happy little trans ass and parade it around town without a flying **** of what they seem to think.

i just don't think wishing anyone death, regardless of situations to be an appropriate method of venting. :/ 

- - - Post Merge - - -



lencurryboy said:


> ya h because cisphobia isnt real



it's still ignorant. and childish.


----------



## Gregriii

lencurryboy said:


> ya h because cisphobia isnt real



that's VERY hypocrite imo 

as long as trans/homos hate cis it will exist

it's like saying that man can't be harassed or abused by woman cause woman are often more harassed by men


----------



## tae

you can't get offended at people saying you're gross or insulting you, and then turn around and complain about them and insult and group them all together as well. that's completely pointless, immature and quite hilarious that you're worked up over people calling you gay or not accepting you when you don't accept them either. FOR THE SAME REASON.

" WAhHHHHhh they don't accept me bc i' trans i hope they get hit by trains, but you know what, **** cis people they all suck."

but if a cis person were to be like, " wow they don't like me because im cis, i hope they get hit by a fking train" it would be transphobia right? because they don't accept you?

do you see how dumb this sounds? do you?


----------



## Alienfish

Of course they have privilege because society gives them that and whatever bs they think they are entitled to and think they can act out too.. And regarding the different areas between muslims/trans people and people not cis it's ofc a difference and it was a p bad example to compare with regarding a lot of peoples issues... it doesn't really get any relevant sayings to the matter other than it's as alright and should be taken as casual(which it shouldn't since it's way more serious)..

also it's understandable you need to rant but then again you shouldn't really brush it off like that towards the end. you have the right to be angry but tbh those people at your school are as ignorant as a lot of people outside .. feels a bit ambivalent if you're all angry then be just like 'whatever'.. and of course certain people can't shrug it off but tbh seems you take that a bit lightly like "go away i dont have time"...?


----------



## Knopekin

Yeah, I think the whole 'minorities can't be oppressed' to justify hating on vast swathes of people is childish at best and offensive at worst. 

I have a ton of good life experiences though! I mentioned my ex-girlfriend in conversation to someone at work and they told me about how her kids are readjusting to her new female partner and it was a nice bonding moment.


----------



## Alienfish

@tae of course they will unless they actually take a step towards change and start acting serious. i can pity them in a way but it's kinda annoying when (mostly) cis make rude comments and have their specific gender ideals and think you're not a real (gender/sex) if you're not like that. sure there are people that might look stereotype to one way or the other but assuming from that is just rude tbh.

can't say i really pity them, but i learn when to take my arguments cause some you can, some you cannot.


----------



## visibleghost

Gregriii said:


> that's VERY hypocrite imo
> 
> as long as trans/homos hate cis it will exist
> 
> it's like saying that man can't be harassed or abused by woman cause woman are often more harassed by men


cisphobia doesnt exist 
men can be harassed and abused. but they don't get oppressed by society. 



taesaek said:


> you can't get offended at people saying you're gross or insulting you, and then turn around and complain about them and insult and group them all together as well. that's completely pointless, immature and quite hilarious that you're worked up over people calling you gay or not accepting you when you don't accept them either. FOR THE SAME REASON.
> 
> " WAhHHHHhh they don't accept me bc i' trans i hope they get hit by trains, but you know what, **** cis people they all suck."


ik it's pointless lmao
but i'm not doing the same thing tho, that's the thing

my hate isn't supported by society
it is not structural or whatever it's called. sure it's bad of me to say that cis ppl suck since it's rude to tell someone that they suck. but it's not "cisphobic" or the same thing??

i say that cis people suck because i'm tired of being treated like crap for being trans by cis people. i kinda have a reason, ad it's actually ok for me to be angry at people who are oppressing me. it's not productive and it doesn't change anything, but i am totally allowed to lmao.


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> ya h because cisphobia isnt real



uh yes it is. some people can be very angsty and phobic because they think they are so hardcore.


----------



## visibleghost

Moko said:


> Of course they have privilege because society gives them that and whatever bs they think they are entitled to and think they can act out too.. And regarding the different areas between muslims/trans people and people not cis it's ofc a difference and it was a p bad example to compare with regarding a lot of peoples issues... it doesn't really get any relevant sayings to the matter other than it's as alright and should be taken as casual(which it shouldn't since it's way more serious)..
> 
> also it's understandable you need to rant but then again you shouldn't really brush it off like that towards the end. you have the right to be angry but tbh those people at your school are as ignorant as a lot of people outside .. feels a bit ambivalent if you're all angry then be just like 'whatever'.. and of course certain people can't shrug it off but tbh seems you take that a bit lightly like "go away i dont have time"...?


sorry if it seems like i have a bad attitude and brush it off. idk what to really change bc i'm kind of bad at that stuff but i get what u mean i think

- - - Post Merge - - -



Moko said:


> uh yes it is. some people can be very angsty and phobic because they think they are so hardcore.



pls give me examples of cisphobia being real


----------



## Alienfish

also it's another thing of getting harassed and being abused... of course cis people can, some communities can be very nasty towards cis people because they think they are being ****ty. Like, well a lot of cases are but doesn't mean they are all angels and ice-cream


----------



## Gregriii

lencurryboy said:


> cisphobia doesnt exist
> men can be harassed and abused. but they don't get oppressed by society.
> 
> 
> ik it's pointless lmao
> but i'm not doing the same thing tho, that's the thing
> 
> my hate isn't supported by society
> it is not structural or whatever it's called. sure it's bad of me to say that cis ppl suck since it's rude to tell someone that they suck. but it's not "cisphobic" or the same thing??
> 
> i say that cis people suck because i'm tired of being treated like crap for being trans by cis people. i kinda have a reason, ad it's actually ok for me to be angry at people who are oppressing me. it's not productive and it doesn't change anything, but i am totally allowed to lmao.



then u deserve to be hated for being trans/homo if u hate them for the same reason LOL


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> cisphobia doesnt exist
> men can be harassed and abused. but they don't get oppressed by society.
> 
> 
> ik it's pointless lmao
> but i'm not doing the same thing tho, that's the thing
> 
> my hate isn't supported by society
> it is not structural or whatever it's called. sure it's bad of me to say that cis ppl suck since it's rude to tell someone that they suck. but it's not "cisphobic" or the same thing??
> 
> i say that cis people suck because i'm tired of being treated like crap for being trans by cis people. i kinda have a reason, ad it's actually ok for me to be angry at people who are oppressing me. it's not productive and it doesn't change anything, but i am totally allowed to lmao.



an ignorant and bigoted trans person is just as offensive and dumb as a bigoted cis person.
i see you the same. you're hating someone for their identity. it's the same. i don't care what you say, your argument is invalid dude.

you're hating people because they're cis, not because they're a genuinely crummy person.

this is why the younger lgbtqa+ community irks so terribly.
you can be trans and not hate cis people.
you can be trans and not hate cis people.
you can be trans and not hate cis people.
you can be trans and hate the rude and terrible things people have done to you for being trans, but that doesn't entail hating all cis people. that's just c h i l d i s h.


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> sorry if it seems like i have a bad attitude and brush it off. idk what to really change bc i'm kind of bad at that stuff but i get what u mean i think
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> pls give me examples of cisphobia being real



yeah i get it, was just a bit of strange way to end it after all that speech imo.

well i kinda did and so you as well. you seemed a bit poisonous there.


----------



## Gregriii

lencurryboy said:


> sorry if it seems like i have a bad attitude and brush it off. idk what to really change bc i'm kind of bad at that stuff but i get what u mean i think
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> pls give me examples of cisphobia being real



just read your comments 

cisphobia everywhere
s


----------



## Sleepi

lencurryboy said:


> pls give me examples of cisphobia being real



when there was a flood of tumblr posts saying 'die cis scum'. 

--

to be honest, I wish everyone would just get along and accept each other. my theory on the whole thing is people should keep their noses out of each others business, people who are transphobic (or homophobic, etc) are literal scum, but cisphobia isn't any better. Imo it's completely understandable to be angry at people that oppress you, because being ace it's happened to me before (people being invalidating to me) but that is beside the point.

I don't want to start an argument here, but i'm just stating my view on things o:

TL: DR; you can't change who you are, and cis people can't either. now lets be friends and stop the hate. transphobic and homophobic, and other people that hate others are literal scum. the end.


----------



## Shimmer

taesaek said:


> loads of cis people face millions of consequences throughout their lives, just like any non-binary human being would..frustrated or not, wishing death upon anyone is pretty messed up, regardless if you find it to be "a joke" or something you say out of frustration. wishing death upon someone bares a lot of consequences too and that has nothing to do with how you identify.
> 
> it drives me crazy when people on the lgbtqa+ community throw blatant hate towards anyone of cis identity. yeah lots of people aren't going to accept us for who we are and that's absolutely horrible, but defining every cis person as "ew"  and terrible is like saying all Muslims are terrorists. it's rude, it's inaccurate and quite frankly, it's just incredibly childish.
> 
> 
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> be angry all you want, you can do that. but getting angry at hate, and returning it with even more hate is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. you're not going anywhere, and you're making it worse for yourself.



THANK. YOU. 

I hate all this cis hate that's thrown around. It just makes those people giant hypocrites and it's no wonder nobody will take what they say seriously.


----------



## visibleghost

Moko said:


> also it's another thing of getting harassed and being abused... of course cis people can, some communities can be very nasty towards cis people because they think they are being ****ty. Like, well a lot of cases are but doesn't mean they are all angels and ice-cream



yea of course cis ppl can be harassed by trans people but they cant actually be oppressed? 
i think that those cis ppl jokes on tumblr (if that's the kind of stuff you mean) can be kind of unnecessary, but getting upset over that is kind of... ridiculous? yeah, people are allowed to be upset but like.... why would they be upset. they have so much privelege so why does  it bother them that some trans people say that they're tired of cis people. especially if you know that you're not transphobic since those are kind of the people we mean..??
it's not really productive to be angry about cis people but ya i still am


----------



## Alienfish

taesaek said:


> an ignorant and bigoted trans person is just as offensive and dumb as a bigoted cis person.
> i see you the same. you're hating someone for their identity. it's the same. i don't care what you say, your argument is invalid dude.
> 
> you're hating people because they're cis, not because they're a genuinely crummy person.



this. sure they might have more privileges and we need to get rid of oppression but tbh doesn't entitle us to be as toxic cause they won't really learn that way either.


----------



## visibleghost

Sleepi said:


> when there was a flood of tumblr posts saying 'die cis scum'.
> 
> --
> 
> to be honest, I wish everyone would just get along and accept each other. my theory on the whole thing is people should keep their noses out of each others business, people who are transphobic (or homophobic, etc) are literal scum, but cisphobia isn't any better. Imo it's completely understandable to be angry at people that oppress you, because being ace it's happened to me before (people being invalidating to me) but that is beside the point.
> 
> I don't want to start an argument here, but i'm just stating my view on things o:


are you cis? do you personally get offended by seeing die cis scum memes?


----------



## Sleepi

lencurryboy said:


> are you cis? do you personally get offended by seeing die cis scum memes?



demigirl, actually. 

no I don't, I just find it _exceedingly_ ignorant and childish and there is absolutely no need for it. like there is _absolutely no need_ for transphobia, or homophobia (excuse me on this, I know there are more but I can't think of them at this minute. i'm really forgetful)


----------



## visibleghost

Sleepi said:


> demigirl, actually. no I don't, I just find it _exceedingly_ ignorant and childish.



ye it's childish
doesn't mean it's cisphobic


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> are you cis? do you personally get offended by seeing die cis scum memes?



i'm ****ing trans and i get annoyed when children of my community tell anyone to die.
especially because they're cis gender. you can talk big all you want and hate every cis person, _but i will not ever feel sorry for you_ for feeling alienated for being trans when _you're a hateful bigot._


----------



## Sleepi

lencurryboy said:


> ye it's childish
> doesn't mean it's cisphobic



but if it were the other way around and they were saying

die trans scum (etc, sorry for writing this. I hated writing this)

that would be transphobia. so telling cis people to go and die, is that not cisphobia?


----------



## visibleghost

taesaek said:


> an ignorant and bigoted trans person is just as offensive and dumb as a bigoted cis person.
> i see you the same. you're hating someone for their identity. it's the same. i don't care what you say, your argument is invalid dude.
> 
> you're hating people because they're cis, not because they're a genuinely crummy person.
> 
> this is why the younger lgbtqa+ community irks so terribly.
> you can be trans and not hate cis people.
> you can be trans and not hate cis people.
> you can be trans and not hate cis people.
> you can be trans and hate the rude and terrible things people have done to you for being trans, but that doesn't entail hating all cis people. that's just c h i l d i s h.



did you not read what i wrote lmao
i don't hate every individual cis person
i am trans and i don't actually hate cis people
sometimes i get so tired of constantly being hated for my gender identity
and then i might say "yo i hate cis people". even tho it's childish, unproductive and all that stuff

still not as bad tho


----------



## Gregriii

lencurryboy said:


> are you cis? do you personally get offended by seeing die cis scum memes?



I know that u didn't ask me BUUUUT

that's the same as asking someone homo if they get offended by homophobic memes

If u are straight or homo you can get hated

but it's you decision to get offended or not 

also I'm cis but I would be VERY offended if a bunch of trans started to call me "weirdo" and harass me


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> ye it's childish
> doesn't mean it's cisphobic



you're childish and one day i hope you grow up and stop shaming the trans community.
we get enough hate and trouble without people stirring up even more hate where it's not needed.


----------



## visibleghost

Sleepi said:


> but if it were the other way around and they were saying
> 
> die trans scum (etc, sorry for writing this. I hated writing this)
> 
> that would be transphobia. so telling cis people to go and die, is that not cisphobia?



yeah it would be. but it is not the other way around, and that's kind of the thing. trans people don't have the same power or privelege in society. yes, it might seem like the same thing if someone on tumblr writes "die cis scum" and if someone on tumblr writes "die trans scum but if u kinda put it in perspective with like irl stuff?? you can't really compare it?? in my opinion?? like it's kind of hard to explain, i've seen sooo much great stuff being written about it but uh basICALLyyyy it's just rly different ;;;;;


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> yeah it would be. but it is not the other way around, and that's kind of the thing. trans people don't have the same power or privelege in society. yes, it might seem like the same thing if someone on tumblr writes "die cis scum" and if someone on tumblr writes "die trans scum but if u kinda put it in perspective with like irl stuff?? you can't really compare it?? in my opinion?? like it's kind of hard to explain, i've seen sooo much great stuff being written about it but uh basICALLyyyy it's just rly different ;;;;;



phobia has absolutely nothing to do with oppression. nothing.
cisphobia exists just as much as homophobia or transphobia does.

you cannot say one exits and the other does not.
that's like saying the ghost in my house exits but the ghost in your house does not because i say so.


----------



## visibleghost

Gregriii said:


> I know that u didn't ask me BUUUUT
> 
> that's the same as asking someone homo if they get offended by homophobic memes
> 
> If u are straight or homo you can get hated
> 
> but it's you decision to get offended or not
> 
> also I'm cis but I would be VERY offended if a bunch of trans started to call me "weirdo" and harass me



it's not the same thing. first of all, straights dont get "hate" outside tumblr. gay ppl get killed, fired, thrown out of their homes, bullied, abused etc. sure, it's never okay to write rude stuff to people, no matter what happens to your community

if someone sent you a private message saying "hey cis scum, go die!!" that would be horrible, obviously.
but it's not really the same thing when a random trans person online writes out their frustration with cis people?? idk i'm confusing rn but aaa


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> it's not the same thing. first of all, straights dont get "hate" outside tumblr. gay ppl get killed, fired, thrown out of their homes, bullied, abused etc. sure, it's never okay to write rude stuff to people, no matter what happens to your community
> 
> if someone sent you a private message saying "hey cis scum, go die!!" that would be horrible, obviously.
> but it's not really the same thing when a random trans person online writes out their frustration with cis people?? idk i'm confusing rn but aaa



you're not confusing, you're counterproductive and hateful, uneducated and running around in a circle making no sense towards this discussion. you can't invalidate one sense of hate in response to another form of hate. 


- - - Post Merge - - -

straight people face of ALL kinds outside of tumblr. please just go back to tumblr and stop talking. this is just sad.

- - - Post Merge - - -

just because you're trans doens't give you immunity from being a cisphobic or bigoted brat.


----------



## Shimmer

lencurryboy said:


> it's not the same thing. first of all, straights dont get "hate" outside tumblr. gay ppl get killed, fired, thrown out of their homes, bullied, abused etc. sure, it's never okay to write rude stuff to people, no matter what happens to your community
> 
> if someone sent you a private message saying "hey cis scum, go die!!" that would be horrible, obviously.
> but it's not really the same thing when a random trans person online writes out their frustration with cis people?? idk i'm confusing rn but aaa



So if a random cis person online writes out their frustration with trans people, you would not be offended? It is literally the same thing. Someone spewing hate towards another person (or, people in this case).


----------



## Knopekin

lencurryboy said:


> it's not the same thing. first of all, straights dont get "hate" outside tumblr. gay ppl get killed, fired, thrown out of their homes, bullied, abused etc. sure, it's never okay to write rude stuff to people, no matter what happens to your community
> 
> if someone sent you a private message saying "hey cis scum, go die!!" that would be horrible, obviously.
> but it's not really the same thing when a random trans person online writes out their frustration with cis people?? idk i'm confusing rn but aaa



But if someone 'writing out their frustration' involves spreading hatred for an entire group, it's not really any better than someone spewing any other kind of bigotry. Two wrongs don't make a right. Even if you concede that homophobia is worse than heterophobia, or misogyny is worse than misandry, you can still see that _both are bad things_, and it's right to call it out, the same way you'd call out someone throwing around offensive words like f*ggot.


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> yea of course cis ppl can be harassed by trans people but they cant actually be oppressed?
> i think that those cis ppl jokes on tumblr (if that's the kind of stuff you mean) can be kind of unnecessary, but getting upset over that is kind of... ridiculous? yeah, people are allowed to be upset but like.... why would they be upset. they have so much privelege so why does  it bother them that some trans people say that they're tired of cis people. especially if you know that you're not transphobic since those are kind of the people we mean..??
> it's not really productive to be angry about cis people but ya i still am



i dont really go to that site and haven't come across that many but no they can't be oppressed, it's just saying that they can't be as harassed by non-cis people is wrong, cause there are parts that can be as toxic. there are diff's between oppression and harassment just saying.

and yeah we have all the right to be angry if they behave like asshats, not saying anything against it.

(also if anyone wonders why the hell im posting here i consider myself agender so yah)


----------



## visibleghost

Knopekin said:


> But if someone 'writing out their frustration' involves spreading hatred for an entire group, it's not really any better than someone spewing any other kind of bigotry. Two wrongs don't make a right. Even if you concede that homophobia is worse than heterophobia, or misogyny is worse than misandry, you can still see that _both are bad things_, and it's right to call it out, the same way you'd call out someone throwing around offensive words like f*ggot.



yea both are bad things (even tho transphobia is way worse) and maybe i shouldn't have written what i wrote and if anyone got sad or something i apologize, i didn't actually mean that anyone should die  i'm jsut a bit morbid and alos bad at being nice

i still think it is ridiculous when cis ppl get offended by that kind of stuff but it's whatever i guess


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> yea both are bad things (even tho transphobia is way worse) and maybe i shouldn't have written what i wrote and if anyone got sad or something i apologize, i didn't actually mean that anyone should die  i'm jsut a bit morbid and alos bad at being nice
> 
> i still think it is ridiculous when cis ppl get offended by that kind of stuff but it's whatever i guess



well i don't get offended but denying one or the other is as bad... even though ofc there needs to be heard that we are not as privileged and need changes on many plans.

i feel your morbid bad stuff i just thought you sounded a bit ambivalent that's it


----------



## gem83

Oppression and "phobia" are not necessarily the same thing. Obviously cis people aren't oppressed because of their gender identity, and obviously some cis people are extremely transphobic, but that doesn't give anyone the right to hate on an entire group of people based on the actions of some of them. I do understand your feelings of being fed up with all the hate you and others (myself included) get for our gender identities, believe me, I do. But taking it out on an entire group of people, for -get this- their gender identities, is not acceptable. Transphobia is the problem, cis people are not the problem.

Also 



Spoiler: possible trigger warning



just because someone is cis doesn't mean they don't have any problems like this. Some cis people aren't straight, some cis people are victims of racism, some cis people are victims of sexual assault, some cis people are homeless, I could go on forever. Just because they don't have to deal with the same things we have to deal with, doesn't mean they have zero problems.


----------



## Kaioin

gem83 said:


> Also
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler: possible trigger warning
> 
> 
> 
> just because someone is cis doesn't mean they don't have any problems like this. Some cis people aren't straight, some cis people are victims of racism, some cis people are victims of sexual assault, some cis people are homeless, I could go on forever. Just because they don't have to deal with the same things we have to deal with, doesn't mean they have zero problems.



This.



Spoiler: My input...



You can be gay/lesbian/bi and still be cis, you can still be racially discriminated against even if you're cis. You can be discriminated by your gender, too...even if you're cis. Considering cis refers solely to gender. Even cishet people are still exposed to discrimination. People have blown cisgender way out the water. It doesn't mean you're straight, white, male or female and living in an ivory tower. It literally just means you're happy with your gender matching your sex...

Considering the other many things a person can be, I don't think it's fair to judge cis people in the same way I don't think it's fair to judge anyone else.



We're all human. Excusing the derogatory behaviour of a group of people just because the folks their taking digs at "have it better than them" is unacceptable and is going toward the completely wrong direction.


----------



## radical6

do people still actually make jokes abt cishet people

at this point i dont care thats so 2013 tumblr and soooo lame

perhaps ive become desensitized to everything because honestly people telling me to die doesnt even affect me anymore. i get rape and murder threats too but im too tired to care at this point

im actually too tired to even care about whatever cishet people are doing i honestly dont give a **** anymore 

just dont bother me about **** and were cool. thats it. 

i guess some people make jokes about cis ppl to vent but honestly? its so lame. its not even funny. i dont think it's inherently oppressive or something, just boring and overdone. 

at the end of the day, none of this matters. people are still dying. your internet arguments mean nothing and will change nothing. 

sj blogs who argue with ppl all the time? they dont matter. neither do anti sj blogs that argue all the time.

im honestly tired of these politics in the community in general. i dont care. i cant give a **** about any of this anymore.

the only thing i care about is working for safety for transgender/lgb people. im working with my schools GSA to start a fundraiser and to donate it to a local housing group for LGBT teens 

but all this arguing about cisphobia or whatever? who gives a ****. i dont give a ****. cis jokes are unfunny but arguing about them seems so pointless to me

like why are we even arguing about this ****?? who ****ing cares? who even has that much energy to care to debate if cisphobia is okay or not

like i dont know how people on both sides can spend their time arguing about this. its literally so pointless. 

i guess this is the internet so idk what i expected but.. 

i wish we cared about more important **** and devoted our energy to actual causes instead of ****ing making corny ass jokes on the internet or arguing about corny ass jokes


----------



## Kaioin

You okay? Wanna talk about it? ;o


----------



## gem83

Maybe you don't care, maybe you have the means to make a difference right now, but I care, and I'm a young teenager who still depends on her (unaccepting) parents and doesn't have the means to do that. :/


----------



## Alienfish

Well of course oppression =/= hatred, harassment or whatever term you prefer but phobia still exist towards one another. There are good and bad people in every camp even if us/them has different views on it. Also there are difference in the reasons why they are hatred and/or racist be whatever reason they might have. And some people/communities can be as sneering towards cis.

If they hate/being phobic on us cause we are different/lgbt+/etc. yes then it's wrong and it needs to be done stuff about it and we are oppressed, but doesn't mean us are angels either.

Well regarding racism that can be as common in either of the camps as well.

- - - Post Merge - - -



gem83 said:


> . Transphobia is the problem, cis people are not the problem.



Yes, so much. There probably people from both sides being as heinous even if one is more or less common.


----------



## radical6

gem83 said:


> Maybe you don't care, maybe you have the means to make a difference right now, but I care, and I'm a young teenager who still depends on her (unaccepting) parents and doesn't have the means to do that. :/




When did I say I didn't care about transphobia? I said I don't care about cisphobia or if its ethical or not. No one is dying from cisphobia and its mostly contained to a couple hundred teenagers on tumblr making jokes. Unless your parents are "cisphobic" and detain you for being cis, I honestly cannot give a ****. Just ignore them or move on. Nothing will change their minds.


----------



## gem83

justice said:


> When did I say I didn't care about transphobia? I said I don't care about cisphobia or if its ethical or not. No one is dying from cisphobia and its mostly contained to a couple hundred teenagers on tumblr making jokes. Unless your parents are "cisphobic" and detain you for being cis, I honestly cannot give a ****. Just ignore them or move on. Nothing will change their minds.



????? I didn't say you didn't care about transphobia, I was referring to the multiple times you said you didn't care about this argument. My point is that fighting hate with more hate is not doing anything to help us, and I care about that. That's all.


----------



## boujee

As time goes by 
Me declaring that I'm demisexuaity was dumb as sht
"Only sexual attraction if form a bond" sounds like what other people around the world been was doing lmao


----------



## radical6

Gamzee said:


> As time goes by
> Me declaring that I'm demisexuaity was dumb as sht
> "Only sexual attraction if form a bond" sounds like what other people around the world been was doing lmao


you can blame AVEN for that


----------



## visibleghost

what even is aven
all i've heard about them has been bad stuff?? isn't it some asexuality thing?? and what do they do that makes everyone hate them :<


----------



## boujee

justice said:


> you can blame AVEN for that



I blame anything that's on tumblr but I can't disrespect tumblr cause I'll be swarm by sjw


----------



## radical6

lencurryboy said:


> what even is aven
> all i've heard about them has been bad stuff?? isn't it some asexuality thing?? and what do they do that makes everyone hate them :<



theyre the ones who started the "people who have sex are privileged over asexuals" and the "lesbians and gays are privileged over bisexuals" bull****

that and they have no idea how sexuality can tie into race lol (ex black women are highly sexualized)

they call hypersexual people braindead sluts. and ignore hypersexuality usually forms from sexual abuse 

theyre a bunch of ****ing losers basically. they want to use LGBT spaces while driving out pretty much everyone else. 



Gamzee said:


> I blame anything that's on tumblr but I can't disrespect tumblr cause I'll be swarm by sjw



eh a lot of tumblr sj side disagrees with bull**** like demisexuality. im one of thrm and many of my friends/mutuals think its bull****

ace tumblr is annoying as **** though. i refuse to identify as asexual anymore just because of how stupid they act. 

they completely ignore how AIDS destroyed gay communities and shame lesbian and gay men for having sex


----------



## Trundle

Pretty sure the issue arises when people go to voice their personal feelings publicly and people take opinion and emotions as fact.


----------



## gem83

Basically tumblr LGBTQA+ communities are full of hate. It'll never end because if you even dare to question them you'll be bombarded with people screeching at you and spamming sarcastic text faces and s**t. Even if you are LGBTQA+ they'll just assume you're straight and cis. But that's another story.


----------



## Alienfish

gem83 said:


> Did you really just directly tell someone their sexuality is bulls**t wow
> 
> Basically tumblr LGBTQA+ communities are full of hate. It'll never end because if you even dare to question them you'll be bombarded with people screeching at you and spamming sarcastic text faces and s**t. Even if you are LGBTQA+ they'll just assume you're straight and cis. But that's another story.



This.. is why I don't even go near tumblr and those communities. And this is why I posted about those kinda of "communities" can be as sneery and while not maybe all the criteria that apply to phobic they are judging and harassing and making comments about you being fake an all that ****.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also they sure exist outside tumblr and IRL, it was just an example considering the discussion above.


----------



## cIementine

my friend came out to me as bisexual today. i'm glad she told me and that she felt comfortable doing so.


----------



## Bowie

Is there a word for somebody who could be in a romantic relationship with a woman, but only sexual with men? Because that's how I feel sometimes. The only problem is that sexuality is an important aspect of a relationship to me personally, so that sorta thing would probably not work. Nevertheless, I'm curious as to what somebody like that would be called, if anything.


----------



## Alienfish

pumpkins said:


> my friend came out to me as bisexual today. i'm glad she told me and that she felt comfortable doing so.
> maybe i should sometime too lol



it always good when they feel they can tell people stuff and they feel comfy to do it. i'm usually careful to whom i tell.. mostly because i have huge trust issues with people and need some time before i trust people with anything in geenral, not just personal stuff like this.


----------



## boujee

justice said:


> theyre the ones who started the "people who have sex are privileged over asexuals" and the "lesbians and gays are privileged over bisexuals" bull****
> 
> that and they have no idea how sexuality can tie into race lol (ex black women are highly sexualized)
> 
> they call hypersexual people braindead sluts. and ignore hypersexuality usually forms from sexual abuse
> 
> theyre a bunch of ****ing losers basically. they want to use LGBT spaces while driving out pretty much everyone else.
> 
> 
> 
> eh a lot of tumblr sj side disagrees with bull**** like demisexuality. im one of thrm and many of my friends/mutuals think its bull****
> 
> ace tumblr is annoying as **** though. i refuse to identify as asexual anymore just because of how stupid they act.
> 
> they completely ignore how AIDS destroyed gay communities and shame lesbian and gay men for having sex



lol 
I remember reading a post about how asexuals are oppressed and  that sht was just the icing for the cake 
Tumblr is sht


----------



## cIementine

Moko said:


> it always good when they feel they can tell people stuff and they feel comfy to do it. i'm usually careful to whom i tell.. mostly because i have huge trust issues with people and need some time before i trust people with anything in geenral, not just personal stuff like this.



...


----------



## gem83

Bowie said:


> Is there a word for somebody who could be in a romantic relationship with a woman, but only sexual with men? Because that's how I feel sometimes. The only problem is that sexuality is an important aspect of a relationship to me personally, so that sorta thing would probably not work. Nevertheless, I'm curious as to what somebody like that would be called, if anything.



Hetero-romantic homosexual or biromantic homosexual. (Idk if you also like guys romantically or not, sorry)


----------



## Alienfish

pumpkins said:


> she also told me she drinks and smokes (she's 14) which i'm a bit concerned about tbh
> me too, i don't feel like i'm close enough with anyone irl to even bother letting them know? even if i am close with people it's not too important and i'm kinda confused rn



yea.. that's another thing i guess.

i told a few friends that i know that i'm pansexual and stuff but yeah i would probably not tell my parents considering they can be judging and stereotype af.


----------



## Shimmer

gem83 said:


> Basically tumblr LGBTQA+ communities are full of hate. It'll never end because if you even dare to question them you'll be bombarded with people screeching at you and spamming sarcastic text faces and s**t. Even if you are LGBTQA+ they'll just assume you're straight and cis. But that's another story.



The thing I hate about them mainly is that they believe they are special snowflakes just because they aren't straight/cis and that is more annoying than anything.


----------



## Alienfish

Shimmer said:


> The thing I hate about them mainly is that they believe they are special snowflakes just because they aren't straight/cis and that is more annoying than anything.



this, so much. also if you don't abide their every rule and act you're obviously "fake" or whatever.. smh


----------



## visibleghost

wow, seems like some of you have had some pretty bad experiences with lgbtqai+ communities on tumblr.. ):

I have seen that kind of stuff too, but most blogs and other things I've seen have been really positive spaces that help people. I guess we've seen quite different blogs then ;;


----------



## gem83

lencurryboy said:


> wow, seems like some of you have had some pretty bad experiences with lgbtqai+ communities on tumblr.. ):
> 
> I have seen that kind of stuff too, but most blogs and other things I've seen have been really positive spaces that help people. I guess we've seen quite different blogs then ;;



I've seen both, so yeah. There are positive spaces on there but they're rare.

It's annoying that tumblr is so bad about this becase tbh tumblr is the reason why I'm not still a super gross homophobe eternally in denial and depressed


----------



## boujee

They hate if you ask questions 
The sensitivity there is so high tho?? One of the most cringe worthy blogs will be dearcispeople and similar blogs when you're pretty much downgraded or a bad person if you have a distinct genital preference, and instead should be willing to form a sexual relationship with anyone regardless whether you're into their specific genitals or not. I think this is ****ty for both parties because it means trying to force a sexually incompatible relationship just to make a show of appearing open-minded.
 Relationships shouldn't just be about scoring some "oh like me" points but the fundlementals within in, it ain't all about sex~


----------



## AkiBear

Tbh I really don't get the demisexual negativity. I've been _kinda_ using that label for at least 3 years now to describe my sexuality since I don't really know much, I know for sure I'm not sexual (I'm not sex repulsed) but Idk if I'm 100% asexual either. (Homoromantic) demisexuality just seemed right. The only thing I can say is that even if I form a bond with some guy I'm dating it doesn't guarantee I'm gonna feel anything sexual towards them. I know gray-asexual exists but I'm not really comfortable with that. Seeing so many people saying negative things about demisexuality or that it's not real just makes me question myself and it really sucks. Also personally, I like using labels for myself, which is why this sorta stresses me out. Saying I'm homo_sexual_ wouldn't be accurate at all and incredibly misleading but saying I'm asexual doesn't seem 100% right either. Maybe that's fine, though. I don't know.


----------



## Alienfish

AkiBear said:


> Tbh I really don't get the demisexual negativity.



Why should that be negative? I don't have the strongest sex drift either but I wouldn't judge anyone for having more or less. I can't say I'm asexual or demi though cause that'd be a bit wrong. I mean I don't mind woohoo once in a while but I'm not one who does it like every single time I see someone...

Nothing negative with whatever, 

"it ain't all about sex~ " to quote Gamzee above.


----------



## gem83

Moko said:


> Why should that be negative? I don't have the strongest sex drift either but I wouldn't judge anyone for having more or less. I can't say I'm asexual or demi though cause that'd be a bit wrong. I mean I don't mind woohoo once in a while but I'm not one who does it like every single time I see someone...
> 
> Nothing negative with whatever,
> 
> "it ain't all about sex~ " to quote Gamzee above.



Certain people in this thread have called it out as "bulls**t" so I think that's what AkiBear is referring to


----------



## oath2order

AkiBear said:


> Tbh I really don't get the demisexual negativity.



I think it's just because it seems like an unnecessary label. Most people tend to feel sexual attraction after romantic bonds, therefore, the label just seems useless.


----------



## AkiBear

oath2order said:


> I think it's just because it seems like an unnecessary label. Most people tend to feel sexual attraction after romantic bonds, therefore, the label just seems useless.



I wish that were the case for me, feeling sexual attraction after a romantic/emotional bond is formed, but it's always been a hit or miss for me. Usually always a miss.


----------



## Alienfish

gem83 said:


> Certain people in this thread have called it out as "bulls**t" so I think that's what AkiBear is referring to



Wow, that's rude  well.

we all have different preferences.

- - - Post Merge - - -



AkiBear said:


> I wish that were the case for me, feeling sexual attraction after a romantic/emotional bond is formed, but it's always been a hit or miss for me. Usually always a miss.



yeah, why should this be bs really? 

for me it's kinda the other way, i'm not cheesy-romantic at all but if someone's wanna woohoo and i trust 'em sure.


----------



## radical6

The thing is, all these new "ace" labels are useless. 

Its fine to say like "hey im demi" but ive seen actual people claim theyre "oppressed" for being demisexual

A lot of the world is demisexual, graysexual, whatever the **** they say now

**** these people created a sexuality for WANTING TO HAVE CHILDREN

its going too far 

they **** a latin to english textbook and create new labels and its annoying. they call non asexual people dirty sex freaks. they are homophobic as **** too. 

you can say "oh its just teenage special snowflakes" but one of these people is 29 and SPOKE AT HARVARD.

there are ACTUAL ADULTS pushing this bull**** and speaking at colleges and lecturing people on the stupidest **** ever

these people publish homophobic bull**** but disguise it as "asexual/bisexual positivity" 

its disgusting as hell.


----------



## AkiBear

justice said:


> The thing is, all these new "ace" labels are useless.
> 
> Its fine to say like "hey im demi" but ive seen actual people claim theyre "oppressed" for being demisexual
> 
> A lot of the world is demisexual, graysexual, whatever the **** they say now
> 
> **** these people created a sexuality for WANTING TO HAVE CHILDREN
> 
> its going too far
> 
> they **** a latin to english textbook and create new labels and its annoying. they call non asexual people dirty sex freaks. they are homophobic as **** too.
> 
> you can say "oh its just teenage special snowflakes" but one of these people is 29 and SPOKE AT HARVARD.
> 
> there are ACTUAL ADULTS pushing this bull**** and speaking at colleges and lecturing people on the stupidest **** ever
> 
> these people publish homophobic bull**** but disguise it as "asexual/bisexual positivity"
> 
> its disgusting as hell.



Oh, I get this. Thanks. I've definitely seen homophobic aces which drives me insane (and then they deny their homophobia), aces who **** on non asexuals; degrading them. Though I didn't know they were _*that*_ bad since I don't ever browse through the community. That's really gross, though.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I also definitely don't wanna be associated with those kind of people, and I understand now why other people don't wanna be either.


----------



## Shimmer

oath2order said:


> I think it's just because it seems like an unnecessary label. Most people tend to feel sexual attraction after romantic bonds, therefore, the label just seems useless.



There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them. 

Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.


----------



## oath2order

Shimmer said:


> There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them.
> 
> Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.



Well I still think it's a nonsense label but you do you.


----------



## boujee

If demisexuaity is just as credible then so is sapiosexiality, an equally pretentious label that means 'attraction to smart people'


----------



## tae

oath2order said:


> I think it's just because it seems like an unnecessary label. Most people tend to feel sexual attraction after romantic bonds, therefore, the label just seems useless.



i agree with this, the whole demisexual thing always made me kind of **** my head to the side and go "why???" i don't think it's needed.. i mean, like o2o said.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gamzee said:


> If demisexuaity is just as credible then so is sapiosexiality, an equally pretentious label that means 'attraction to smart people'



this this this this bless you gamzee.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Shimmer said:


> There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them.
> 
> Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.



okay but just because some people are okay with sleeping around without a bond, doesn't mean those who have regular feelings for needing a bond with someone to have sexual relation with them to have a label for it... i mean, i don't sleep with my partners on the first date, hell sometimes it takes months? but it doesn't mean i'm demisexual, i just want to /know/ who i'm sleeping with before i do. lol.


----------



## Vida

Demisexuality is a term created by the Internet. What people describe as "demisexual", as in feeling sexual attraction only to people who you share a deep bond with, is actually on the ordinary spectrum of sexual expression. It is not a sexual orientation in itself. I want to stress that I don't care what you identify as. I could call myself rainbowsexual if I felt like it. But claiming it to be a sexual orientation in itself is a totally different story.


----------



## gem83

Eh, some people feel better if they have a label for themselves. I know I do. (Which is why it drives me crazy that I still haven't figured out what my gender actually is other than not-cis ughhhh)


----------



## radical6

Shimmer said:


> There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them.
> 
> Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.



A lot of people actually think the whole concept of virginity is important, and that you should only have sex with people you're connected deeply with. I would say thinking that "you could have sex with anyone hot" is an unlikely thing in most people. What you experience is completely normal. 

Really though, one of these days AVEN is gonna rip this community apart. These people are in their 30s and preaching to a younger, misinformed LGBT generation. They're telling bisexuals that lesbians and gays are evil, and that people who have sex are dirty.

They're using their academia to cause a divide. They know what they're doing.

They don't give a **** though. It makes them money. As long as they make money, they will continue to write more bull**** and preach at Harvard.

I absolutely hate them. Erica Moen. Shiri Erser. God, these women are so obnoxious it hurts. I don't understand how anyone can read their bull****.


----------



## Alienfish

justice said:


> A lot of people actually think the whole concept of virginity is important, and that you should only have sex with people you're connected deeply with. I would say thinking that "you could have sex with anyone hot" is an unlikely thing in most people. What you experience is completely normal.



Jesus, those people are so bs. I won't go deep into my woohoo experiences and stuff here cause it's a kid's site, but still these things differ and while I don't per se need a romantic bond with all its cheese and chocolate I do need some trust for reasons.

Also I cut your post off for space but I agree, those people are too much and misinformed.. I checked out that AVEN website and I'm just like.. no.


----------



## Trundle

gem83 said:


> Eh, some people feel better if they have a label for themselves. I know I do. (Which is why it drives me crazy that I still haven't figured out what my gender actually is other than not-cis ughhhh)



If you go through life not solely thinking about your gender as your #1 priority then you'll find it along the way. Let it come to you. A lot of the time when you are looking for things, you will find what you are not looking for at all.


----------



## emolga

Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.


----------



## Knopekin

I really find it hard to identify with the 'queer' community and really don't like that word, partly because I grew up in Britain in the 90's (I know we should be reclaiming labels and all that but), but also because of lots of the attitudes and how political it is. I don't want to tear down society and the concept of family and hate on the mainstream for oppressing me, I just want to be able to get on with my life and maybe marry a girl one day.

One particular segment that grinds my gears is the poly community, because they're all about the queer label, and lots of them look down on people who want monogamous relationships because they're obviously jealous and possessive if they're not okay with their partner sleeping around. 

Full disclosure: my partner of 4 years decided she 'was polyamorous' (seemingly unable to grasp the concept that pretty much everyone has attractions to other people when they're in a relationship, you just don't act on them if you respect your partner at all) and left me for my best friend. Still not over it.


----------



## Gregriii

You can like boys, girls, both or none

Things like saposexuality or demisexuality should be considered fetishism's rather than sexualities IMO


----------



## gem83

emolga said:


> Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.



I'm with you. Imo otherkin is not a gender. I once saw someone who identified as "scott pilgrim fictionkin" like ok I'm sorry but there is no way you are Scott Pilgrim born into the wrong body that's not how this works. I understand some people use it as a coping device, but even so. I mean I guess I'd still have to use their pronouns though

Don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with otherkin people at all I mean do whatever makes you happy I don't care but I just don't see it as a true gender if that makes any sense...?


----------



## visibleghost

emolga said:


> Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.



 i don't think the otherkin pronouns are supposed to be genders or even gendered?? they're gender neutral pronouns that are centered around the kintype instead of gender  i think ;;


----------



## Alienfish

Gregriii said:


> You can like boys, girls, both or none
> 
> Things like saposexuality or demisexuality should be considered fetishism's rather than sexualities IMO



sapo, i can get your point but tbh demi doesn't necessarily need to be a fetish(mainly since it's tied to feelings rather than a philia/object/practice/etc.)

then if a label is needed or not could probably make an interesting debate, but if people seriously feel this way, why not.


----------



## Sugilite

emolga said:


> Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.




I'll have to disagree/agree on the pronouns 
I still find it dumb to have pronouns for things this describes a characteristic/preference 
Like pm everyone could be consider themselves demi since everybody gets in a relationship with someone they have a bond with unless you're a ho or just desperate to fill in a void. Same with liking someone smart that's a perference same as if I'm saying I like girls with big t*tties. That doesn't make me bigtittiesecxuslothic, but just someone who likes boobs 
Tumblr is just a mess just trying to spread things like the whole world knows when in reality they don't 
Same with this gender topic 
They/them pronouns I still don't understand and the people I ask don't understand, hopefully someone breaks that ish down and not sound like a tumblrin and open up my mindset cause rn I'm still alien towards it 

When I thought about female and male pronouns I believe it was something to help know who's who 
Like oh that's a girl and that's a boy, you just know. And sometimes it's not gender stereotypes either to classify someone in. Some girls are ugly and you still know and some boys are cute but you still know. But they/them only seems "acceptable" on the interest cause it's in someone bio and you just know. But how is that going to work in real compared to the billions of other people who is not going to sit down and talk to you? Like is it a certain way they dress to know or how they look? Because back to my point people are going to go by how you look and determine it 

I don't see how you're neutral when it was words for people who dress how ever they want opposing to what they wear 
I can go on and on about gender cause it's dumb 
Some girl on her prefers male pronouns, their not trans acting but they believe their body is male
It might be cool for people on the internet but if you're faking your pictures that you're male and going by that mindset that you're male and you're dating someone who thinks you're actually a boy and y'all meet up don't start acting sjw like and get mad when they drag you and see a girl in their eyes


----------



## visibleghost

Sugilite said:


> I'll have to disagree/agree on the pronouns
> I still find it dumb to have pronouns for things this describes a characteristic/preference
> Like pm everyone could be consider themselves demi since everybody gets in a relationship with someone they have a bond with unless you're a ho or just desperate to fill in a void. Same with liking someone smart that's a perference same as if I'm saying I like girls with big t*tties. That doesn't make me bigtittiesecxuslothic, but just someone who likes boobs
> Tumblr is just a mess just trying to spread things like the whole world knows when in reality they don't
> Same with this gender topic
> They/them pronouns I still don't understand and the people I ask don't understand, hopefully someone breaks that ish down and not sound like a tumblrin and open up my mindset cause rn I'm still alien towards it
> 
> When I thought about female and male pronouns I believe it was something to help know who's who
> Like oh that's a girl and that's a boy, you just know. And sometimes it's not gender stereotypes either to classify someone in. Some girls are ugly and you still know and some boys are cute but you still know. But they/them only seems "acceptable" on the interest cause it's in someone bio and you just know. But how is that going to work in real compared to the billions of other people who is not going to sit down and talk to you? Like is it a certain way they dress to know or how they look? Because back to my point people are going to go by how you look and determine it
> 
> I don't see how you're neutral when it was words for people who dress how ever they want opposing to what they wear
> I can go on and on about gender cause it's dumb
> Some girl on her prefers male pronouns, their not trans acting but they believe their body is male
> It might be cool for people on the internet but if you're faking your pictures that you're male and going by that mindset that you're male and you're dating someone who thinks you're actually a boy and y'all meet up don't start acting sjw like and get mad when they drag you and see a girl in their eyes



what
 are you talking about trans people in the last part????


----------



## Alienfish

There's a difference between bond and/or actual romantic relationship statues, just saying that so people can have valid reasons for calling themselves what they do.

Also having sex without a relation is not "being a ho"... 

Them/they is mostly used if they want a gender-neutral pronoun and doesn't like being called he/she etc.

Also simply dressing in drag/cross-dressing is one aspect but it hardly applies to everyone.. not everyone is gay AND trans and if you crossdress or not doesn't really apply to your sexuality(even if there are a lot of people within the community that do it, of course).

Also why would people fake being trans? That last part was so dumb tbh.


----------



## Sugilite

lencurryboy said:


> what
> are you talking about trans people in the last part????



No, I'm saying if someone as like a male structure or female structure who are transition to what they are destined to be then people can see where they start taking these pronouns from 

But if you're a girl who believes you are a boy 
And believes you're body is a boy going through what you think mentally then it's a problem

- - - Post Merge - - -



Moko said:


> There's a difference between bond and/or actual romantic relationship statues, just saying that so people can have valid reasons for calling themselves what they do.
> 
> Also having sex without a relation is not "being a ho"...
> 
> Them/they is mostly used if they want a gender-neutral pronoun and doesn't like being called he/she etc.
> 
> Also simply dressing in drag/cross-dressing is one aspect but it hardly applies to everyone.. not everyone is gay AND trans and if you crossdress or not doesn't really apply to your sexuality(even if there are a lot of people within the community that do it, of course).
> 
> Also why would people fake being trans? That last part was so dumb tbh.



I never said anyone was faking being trans but ok


----------



## visibleghost

Sugilite said:


> No, I'm saying if someone as like a male structure or female structure who are transition to what they are destined to be then people can see where they start taking these pronouns from
> 
> But if you're a girl who believes you are a boy
> And believes you're body is a boy going through what you think mentally then it's a problem



what
your body doesn't determine your gender. if someone identifies as a gender, they are that gender. i don't really understand what you mean


----------



## Alienfish

Sugilite said:


> But if you're a girl who believes you are a boy
> And believes you're body is a boy going through what you think mentally then it's a problem
> 
> I never said anyone was faking being trans but ok



Well those often relate to mental issues and thought you might have so I don't see it a problem there... like of course you have to go through psychiatrists and surgery to eventually change your looks completely. Also not everyone is ready to do those things at once and these things require some time and thought.

Sure sounded like it. Also I highly doubt people will fake their body like that unless it's some creepy phobic person that like catfishing.


----------



## Sugilite

Moko said:


> Well those often relate to mental issues and thought you might have so I don't see it a problem there... like of course you have to go through psychiatrists and surgery to eventually change your looks completely. Also not everyone is ready to do those things at once and these things require some time and thought.
> 
> Sure sounded like it. Also I highly doubt people will fake their body like that unless it's some creepy phobic person that like catfishing.




I see your point cause lots of people are afraid of surgery and mentally preparing for it 
But it's a difference where a lot of people don't simply just say that then vs just going with it 
Which confuses a lot of people 
I see this on tumblr a lot


----------



## boujee

A lot of people tend to define their characteristics or personality to gender


----------



## Alienfish

Sugilite said:


> I see your point cause lots of people are afraid of surgery and mentally preparing for it
> But it's a difference where a lot of people don't simply just say that then vs just going with it
> Which confuses a lot of people
> I see this on tumblr a lot



Well tumblr is tumblr and that place is full of bs and those kinda people faking literally everything and have no knowledge/being elitist in general and calling people names and things they don't are.

And saying it.. well unless you actually feel strongly this way I wouldn't go to that site trumpeting your inner feelings at random.


----------



## Sugilite

Moko said:


> Well tumblr is tumblr and that place is full of bs and those kinda people faking literally everything and have no knowledge/being elitist in general and calling people names and things they don't are.
> 
> And saying it.. well unless you actually feel strongly this way I wouldn't go to that site trumpeting your inner feelings at random.



It's not hurting my inner feelings, I'm just trying to understand how and what. 
When I do try to understand I get called "cis scum"

- - - Post Merge - - -



Gamzee said:


> A lot of people tend to define their characteristics or personality to gender



Pm


----------



## Alienfish

Well if you go on tumblr to those communities or pages that is bound to happen. They literally do that to everyone not to their standards. Tbh you'd get better advice here or from some genuine sites.

And yeah in response to Gamzees posts, yes they do.


----------



## Kaioin

Sugilite said:


> Some girl on her prefers male pronouns, their not trans acting but they believe their body is male



I've been yelled at IRL because of stuff like this. It's not nice.
They were a friend of a friend and was born female by sex, dressed like most females do, wore make up like many do, etc., etc., so I referred to him as "her." He didn't like that.

I'm perfectly fine with calling people by their preferred pronouns but...come on. Cut me some slack.
I don't think when it's spoken about on the internet people put very much thought into this. It's easy on the internet to know how someone prefers to be addressed because it's just a thing that can be listed on a profile.
Real life isn't like that.

I can't just be expected to know that stuff about you before talking to you for the _first time_ and if you appear to be conforming to normal feminine traits...of course I'm going to think you're female by gender at _first impression_.

Sorry, but that's just the majority of people...can you imagine how offended the average person would be if I just called them "they" (which is considered rude in many places when you're physically with them...) or how bewildered they'd be if I referred to them by some made up pronoun like zer? They'd think I was bat**** crazy, to be frank.

All I'd have needed for that meeting to be smoother was for him to mention it when we first met or to say, "actually, I identify as male." There was no need to get angry with me...at all. Unfortunately, the mindset generally tends to be "get mad about it," which is a shame.

On a positive note, we're actually on good terms these days!


----------



## visibleghost

Kaioin said:


> I've been yelled at IRL because of stuff like this. It's not nice.
> They were a friend of a friend and was born female by sex, dressed like most females do, wore make up like many do, etc., etc., so I referred to him as "her." He didn't like that.
> 
> I'm perfectly fine with calling people by their preferred pronouns but...come on. Cut me some slack.
> I don't think when it's spoken about on the internet people put very much thought into this. It's easy on the internet to know how someone prefers to be addressed because it's just a thing that can be listed on a profile.
> Real life isn't like that.
> 
> I can't just be expected to know that stuff about you before talking to you for the _first time_ and if you appear to be conforming to normal feminine traits...of course I'm going to think you're female by gender at _first impression_.
> 
> Sorry, but that's just the majority of people...can you imagine how offended the average person would be if I just called them "they" (which is considered rude in many places when you're physically with them...) or how bewildered they'd be if I referred to them by some made up pronoun like zer? They'd think I was bat**** crazy, to be frank.
> 
> All I'd have needed for that meeting to be smoother was for him to mention it when we first met or to say, "actually, I identify as male." There was no need to get angry with me...at all. Unfortunately, the mindset generally tends to be "get mad about it," which is a shame.
> 
> On a positive note, we're actually on good terms these days!


it's unfortunate that that happened, but i don't think you should be upset or anything because you got it wrong and he didn't like that. getting misgendered sucks so of course he wouldn't really be happy when you did that! of course you didn't know that he used those pronouns, so I hope he could forgive you pretty easily ;;

that's kind of why it's good to ask about pronouns, so you don't accidentally assume wrong ^^ (ik that no one really does that but ye... most of the time when I meet new people I don't ask about pronouns, mostly because some people get really upset if you can't see what pronouns they use based on their body... uegh)


----------



## Sugilite

Kaioin said:


> I've been yelled at IRL because of stuff like this. It's not nice.
> They were a friend of a friend and was born female by sex, dressed like most females do, wore make up like many do, etc., etc., so I referred to him as "her." He didn't like that.
> 
> I'm perfectly fine with calling people by their preferred pronouns but...come on. Cut me some slack.
> I don't think when it's spoken about on the internet people put very much thought into this. It's easy on the internet to know how someone prefers to be addressed because it's just a thing that can be listed on a profile.
> Real life isn't like that.
> 
> I can't just be expected to know that stuff about you before talking to you for the _first time_ and if you appear to be conforming to normal feminine traits...of course I'm going to think you're female by gender at _first impression_.
> 
> Sorry, but that's just the majority of people...can you imagine how offended the average person would be if I just called them "they" (which is considered rude in many places when you're physically with them...) or how bewildered they'd be if I referred to them by some made up pronoun like zer? They'd think I was bat**** crazy, to be frank.
> 
> All I'd have needed for that meeting to be smoother was for him to mention it when we first met or to say, "actually, I identify as male." There was no need to get angry with me...at all. Unfortunately, the mindset generally tends to be "get mad about it," which is a shame.
> 
> On a positive note, we're actually on good terms these days!



Pm my point 
Gender and identity is too messy for me rn


----------



## Kaioin

lencurryboy said:


> it's unfortunate that that happened, but i don't think you should be upset or anything because you got it wrong and he didn't like that. getting misgendered sucks so of course he wouldn't really be happy when you did that! of course you didn't know that he used those pronouns, so I hope he could forgive you pretty easily ;;
> 
> that's kind of why it's good to ask about pronouns, so you don't accidentally assume wrong ^^ (ik that no one really does that but ye... most of the time when I meet new people I don't ask about pronouns, mostly because some people get really upset if you can't see what pronouns they use based on their body... uegh)



Yeah like I say we're both on good terms these days, I know plenty of people who have different preferences, people that have transitioned and people who are transitioning. They're all amazing people! I'm quite lucky to have such a diverse group of friends, I think!

(and yeah that last point is generally why I don't, but I am usually good with that stuff, it's just when it's very hard to tell I fall flat on my face).


----------



## boujee

Your friend sounds likes he's more in a social reality than biological reality.
Social reality isn't the same as biological reality. You can only 100% confirm someone's biological sex with a blood test(x and Y chromosomes). 
Socially speaking, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.


----------



## Alienfish

Gamzee said:


> Your friend sounds likes he's more in a social reality than biological reality.
> Social reality isn't the same as biological reality. You can only 100% confirm someone's biological sex with a blood test(x and Y chromosomes).
> Socially speaking, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.



Well some people doesn't like their biological gender and that should be respected imo even if they are not fully either(surgery, hormones etc).. taking i get your post right.

sure it might a "duck" in general but it can always be a subspecies to what we call species in the animal world. as for human if they prefer to be the one or other we should respect that assuming they are real about it regardless how far in the process they are.


----------



## boujee

No you're not taking my post right


----------



## Sugilite

Moko said:


> Well some people doesn't like their biological gender and that should be respected imo even if they are not fully either(surgery, hormones etc).. taking i get your post right.
> 
> sure it might a "duck" in general but it can always be a subspecies to what we call species in the animal world. as for human if they prefer to be the one or other we should respect that assuming they are real about it regardless how far in the process they are.










I can't respect anyone like this


----------



## Alienfish

Ya, good.

Also of course there are gonna be fake (tumblr) people who do it just to pose and/or get accepted by tumblr community pople(a lot of those are just bs) or for whatever reason.

And about pronouns I think it's better to ask even if it can be a bit awkward unless they tell you themselves.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Sugilite said:


> I can't respect anyone like this



I assume that if from some tumblr or other bs site(regardless if edited or not) those are not worth the effort... There is a difference.


----------



## visibleghost

Sugilite said:


> I can't respect anyone like this



well they're racist af so ye i get you


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> well they're racist af so ye i get you



uhh yeah they are and they don't deserve respect. But I was more referring to them being fake and just posing to be a special snowflake or whatever. they are obv. not worthy of any respect.


----------



## visibleghost

Moko said:


> uhh yeah they are and they don't deserve respect. But I was more referring to them being fake and just posing to be a special snowflake or whatever. they are obv. not worthy of any respect.



?? what do you mean?? because they wrote "genderless" and their age?? or them saying they're a person of colour even though they're white?? (which is the super racist part)


----------



## boujee

It's a difference in being what you are and just wanting to be speshul because you're too afraid to openly say your cis(cause tumblr lol) and you create your own terms to fit in(which you will on tumblr).


----------



## radical6

Sugilite said:


> I can't respect anyone like this



That's a troll blog.

I prefer they/them pronouns because they feel right to me. I'm okay with she/her too, but at the end of the day I can't care at this point.

How I feel about womanhood is a conflicting feeling for me. On one hand, I don't want any part of it. I don't want it. But on the other hand, I've accepted I will always be apart of it, and I can't escape it. 

I dress very androgynous, though. If I had to choose between womanhood or manhood, I would choose womanhood.

It's hard to describe for me. I also have body dysphoria, which by definition means I'm transgender. But I only want my breasts removed, I don't actually want my vagina sown up or anything like other people. So it's hard to describe how I feel.

I have other priorities in life, so gender is not that big of an issue to me. But I know transfeminine people it's a difference between surviving and passing. I would say your gender identity matters more to you if you were assigned male at birth.

For people who were assigned male at birth - it can't just be a game if they're trans. The difference between them and me is that I can more openly tell people how I feel about my gender. If they said they were a woman, they would very likely face harassment and even murder.

The world is harsher on them because they see them as a man, a man who wants to be a woman. You cannot deny that feminity is seen as weakness. Therefore, they see a man trying to be weak.

A trans man, on the other hand, is seen as a woman trying to be a man. Obviously they still get flak for it but not on the scale as people assigned male at birth.

I can play dress up and experiment with my gender and not get killed. I'm just seen as a "tom boy". 

But those people, on the other hand, dress up in a dress with high heels and mascara they could get beaten up. Killed. Harassed.

I would say gender identity is how you express yourself and what's comfortable for you. 

I know trans women who use they/them out of safety. If anyone in public referred to them as she/her they would get harassed. Using he/him only makes them feel like they're men. So using they/them is a nice compromise in my opinion.


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> ?? what do you mean?? because they wrote "genderless" and their age?? or them saying they're a person of colour even though they're white?? (which is the super racist part)



No because they are obviously not serious and racist with the last part. If they are for real non-cis that I don't know. But they kinda proven to be really fake-looking with that thing. 

Also of course you can be of African descent with white/albino skin but that way is just.. uh

- - - Post Merge - - -

And yeah really look like troll as well.


----------



## boujee

What's the difference between gender and gender expression?
Also wtf is two-spirited?

I'm pretty blunt


----------



## radical6

Gamzee said:


> What's the difference between gender and gender expression?
> Also wtf is two-spirited?
> 
> I'm pretty blunt



Can't really explain the difference between gender and gender expression rn, its rather complex unless you study it

two-spirit is a native american identity. they dont always call themselves trans/lgbt but some do. it's existed before colombus even came to the americas, so its very much an actual real thing.

im not native american so i cant really describe it, but from what i see its like, having two spirits/genders? they perform both the male and female tasks in a tribe i think. its better to ask an actual native american person, since i dont know enough about cultural context of it either.


----------



## visibleghost

Gamzee said:


> What's the difference between gender and gender expression?
> Also wtf is two-spirited?
> 
> I'm pretty blunt



uh 
gender is your gender, like what you identify as. gender expression is how you express your gender (wearing "male" clothing, having long hair, having a beard, wearing makeup etc. stuff that makes people around you think of you in a gendered way ;


----------



## Alienfish

Pretty much what they said above. Some may do it more or less explicit depending on how secure and/or how much they want to show.


----------



## boujee

I also have lots of questions because I still don't understand the appeal for all this social justice thing(tumblr), sexual identity, gender identity, etc etc
People can rant all they want if they 'believe' they're otherkin/fox/ducks/angles/male/female

Reality is inevitable period
But I guess if it's the only way to make you feel happy in this life span, go for it


----------



## Sugilite

Gamzee said:


> I also have lots of questions because I still don't understand the appeal for all this social justice thing(tumblr), sexual identity, gender identity, etc etc
> People can rant all they want if they 'believe' they're otherkin/fox/ducks/angles/male/female
> 
> Reality is inevitable period
> But I guess if it's the only way to make you feel happy in this life span, go for it




same I pretty much don't care anymore at this point


----------



## Knopekin

Right, so I'm sorry if any part of this is offensive, and my only defense is I grew up with the LGBT acronym without anything after it, and that the T stood for 'transexual', which pretty much exclusively referred to people identifying as the binary gender they were not assigned at birth.

I've never identified as trans, and definitely wouldn't want to because it would feel disingenuous, but I also feel that lots of people just don't want lots of assumptions made about them because they're male or female, and that doesn't make them trans.

Obviously being misgendered (someone referring to you as a gender you're not) is rough, but someone assuming things about you based on your gender (you're a guy so you must like football, you're a girl so you must like makeup) is also incredibly tedious, and can be really damaging to kids. But conceptualizing male = masculine things and female = feminine things is reductive and damaging to everyone.


----------



## boujee

Or you can use a more prefer label, which is just being 'me'

But off topic 
I got a chocolate cake 

Also my English isn't really good


----------



## Sugilite

Gamzee said:


> Or you can use a more prefer label, which is just being 'me'
> 
> But off topic
> I got a chocolate cake
> 
> Also my English isn't really good



cause people don't even know who they are, being afraid of what the next person will say
adding up to why people create all these unnecessary labels.


----------



## shunishu

i dont wanna talk or think or explain or argue about anything anymore just dont care anymore, even if that means i cant exist  .. so i just exist, im a cloud hurray
all this mess is just.. whats the point besides headaches.
everyones missing the point of their own arguments on all these topics and dont consider consequences of statements for others, noones listening, noone can listen anymore, everyones hurt, noone understands
i don't like this scream/shout culture.. mostly on tumblr/twitter .. i dont like these people empowering minorities only to attack them more efficiently soon after. it's really hard to actually be anything amongst this. people with no voice arent considered and get left behind. anything that isnt 100% inclusive is problematic.

this isnt about anything particular said here.. just general rant -_-


----------



## oath2order

shunishu said:


> i dont wanna talk or think or explain or argue about anything anymore just dont care anymore, even if that means i cant exist  .. so i just exist, im a cloud hurray
> all this mess is just.. whats the point besides headaches.
> everyones missing the point of their own arguments on all these topics and dont consider consequences of statements for others, noones listening, noone can listen anymore, everyones hurt, noone understands
> i don't like this scream/shout culture.. mostly on tumblr/twitter .. i dont like these people empowering minorities only to attack them more efficiently soon after. it's really hard to actually be anything amongst this. people with no voice arent considered and get left behind. anything that isnt 100% inclusive is problematic.
> 
> this isnt about anything particular said here.. just general rant -_-



um

what


----------



## gem83

I think they're fed up with people who refuse to understand anything said to them. I am too tbh.


----------



## Sleepi

A bit hesitant about posting this..
I don't know what I should identify as anymore. I used to identify as demigirl, but i'm not sure if that is right because one day I feel, best word for it is girly, and the next I just feel wrong in my own skin? (if that makes no sense, I mean that it doesn't feel right, I don't feel girly whatsoever, I just don't think the girly'ness about me, on those days, is right). 

I dunno. ?\_(ツ)_/?


----------



## oath2order

sorry remind me what the heck demigirl is


----------



## Sleepi

oath2order said:


> sorry remind me what the heck demigirl is



"gender identity describing someone who partially, but not wholly, identifies as feminine"


----------



## gem83

Sleepi said:


> A bit hesitant about posting this..
> I don't know what I should identify as anymore. I used to identify as demigirl, but i'm not sure if that is right because one day I feel, best word for it is girly, and the next I just feel wrong in my own skin? (if that makes no sense, I mean that it doesn't feel right, I don't feel girly whatsoever, I just don't think the girly'ness about me, on those days, is right).
> 
> I dunno. ?\_(ツ)_/?



You sound genderfluid to me, but I'm not you so I can't be sure. I identify as genderfluid rn because I'm in the same boat lol, how I feel varies quite often.


----------



## Sleepi

gem83 said:


> You sound genderfluid to me, but I'm not you so I can't be sure. I identify as genderfluid though because I'm in the same boat lol, how I feel varies quite often.



thank you for responding to what I said and trying to help me out here ^^ I think i'll do some research on that.


----------



## radical6

oh yeah forgot to mention

i might do a segment on my schools tv show thing about the AIDS movement and how it impacted LGBT communities 

i wanted to do something for trans awareness week but its too late to get anything on there.


----------



## Shimmer

I went to a Christmas parade and there was a LGBTQA+ pride float. Of course it was all Christmas decorated and such cause it was a Christmas parade but it was still nice to see a whole float dedicated to this community!


----------



## tae

Sugilite said:


> I can't respect anyone like this



if anyone respected this person, i'd personally feel really sorry for them.
this is just blatant racism.


----------



## Izzy Reincarnated

Woah, that's just beyond racist


----------



## gem83

That's really gross, and it shines a bad light on actual trans people imo. :/ At least, to people who are already transphobic.


----------



## Alienfish

taesaek said:


> if anyone respected this person, i'd personally feel really sorry for them.
> this is just blatant racism.



Yes and obvious disrespect to actual issues. I wonder how they are IRL lmao


----------



## Kapriznyy

...It's been a while since anyone posted in here, but given the size of the thread (despite the unfortunate last couple posts here) I thought I ought to bump it, as a bisexual women myself, for any LGBT+ people who need support or what have you. It would be nice to see this thread active again rather than buried.


----------



## tae

schatzi said:


> ...It's been a while since anyone posted in here, but given the size of the thread (despite the unfortunate last couple posts here) I thought I ought to bump it, as a bisexual women myself, for any LGBT+ people who need support or what have you. It would be nice to see this thread active again rather than buried.



threads like this often cause a clash of conflict.
nice to see people bumping it though, maybe it'll come around again sometime soon.


----------



## boujee

schatzi said:


> ...It's been a while since anyone posted in here, but given the size of the thread (despite the unfortunate last couple posts here) I thought I ought to bump it, as a bisexual women myself, for any LGBT+ people who need support or what have you. It would be nice to see this thread active again rather than buried.




we don't got any stories 
My aunt just recently came out as trans(transwoman), I been knew since she adopted me right after my mother's passing. 
My family took it well or I guess they been knew.


----------



## visibleghost

idk if i wrote this here but i came out as trans to my family and now they call me by my real name and right peonouns so that's nice

my therapist has sent a letter to some people who will hopefully get me diagnosed with gender dysphoria so i can start transition yayyy

i wanna come out at school but everyone in my class are transphobic sooo i dont think thst will happen


----------



## radical6

jeanne cordova passed away and im still ****ing upset about it


----------



## Alienfish

lencurryboy said:


> idk if i wrote this here but i came out as trans to my family and now they call me by my real name and right peonouns so that's nice
> 
> my therapist has sent a letter to some people who will hopefully get me diagnosed with gender dysphoria so i can start transition yayyy
> 
> i wanna come out at school but everyone in my class are transphobic sooo i dont think thst will happen



That's really nice to hear indeed  Congrats, although that thing with your school sucks.. Guess that's case with immature toddlers -. -.


----------



## reyy

im gay
mom is chill sister is chill w/ it
but then school is Homophobic (TM) as hell
life is Awful
but I do have close friends who r chill w/ it : )


----------



## Kittyinpink87

reyy said:


> im gay
> mom is chill sister is chill w/ it
> but then school is Homophobic (TM) as hell
> life is Awful
> but I do have close friends who r chill w/ it : )



that's great to hear that the people close to you accept it.
not much to say about school , other than it mostly sucks when it comes to stuff like that.


----------



## Hai

I'm bisexual and genderqueer. I told my best mates, my father and my sister and they're totally fine with it. I know that my mother wouldn't be, she's very homophobic when it comes to love between females. I won't tell her unless I have to, our relationship is strained as it is. She'll never forgive me that I moved to my father...
My Facebook says that I like men and women, but it seems like nobody ever reads that :'D

Also, my boyfriend,  who formerly identified as genderfluid and bisexual, now identifies as trans. So he is apparently a she but hasn't started transitioning yet. 
I guess I'm fine with it (although I was kind of shocked at first, mostly because of my mother...), but she is afraid of what others may think. We told one of my best mates (who kind of became my girlfriend's best mate too) and my father and they're fine with it too. 
She didn't tell her parents though. Surprisingly, telling her catholic fraternity roommates won't be an issue, because they are fine with having a transwoman in their fraternity. 
My girlfriend suffers from depression and anxiety, which makes this somewhat more difficult, and hasn't had the courage to tell her doctor yet because she is afraid they might be transphobic etc.
She is 18 now and told me that she should start taking hormones as soon as possible because it works better if one is younger.
I'm kind of worried.
Thoughts?


----------



## MapleLeafKangaroos

This thread was a bad idea from the start


----------



## Hai

MapleLeafKangaroos said:


> This thread was a bad idea from the start



Why? 
I think many people might find some support regarding LGBTQA stuff helpful.


----------



## boujee

not really 
we just argue


----------



## Zane

Gamzee said:


> not really
> we just argue



who else is lgbt let's fight to see who is the Strongest


----------



## boujee

Zane said:


> who else is lgbt let's fight to see who is the Strongest




I'm the gayest there is , let's go


----------



## boujee

Not sure if I'm not going to get much support but is it possible to be bisexual but you're really not as attracted to the opposite sex?
As I'm growing up I thought I was straight, I still think I am. Throughout I've been attracted to only men. Up to this point, I have this friend who's female and I really really like her, like literally. I can see myself with her but I can't really see myself dating other women but her. Now I believe I was bisexual but at the same time, can't see myself dating a girl so now I'm all confuse.


----------



## Kittyinpink87

Gamzee said:


> Not sure if I'm not going to get much support but is it possible to be bisexual but you're really not as attracted to the opposite sex?
> As I'm growing up I thought I was straight, I still think I am. Throughout I've been attracted to only men. Up to this point, I have this friend who's female and I really really like her, like literally. I can see myself with her but I can't really see myself dating other women but her. Now I believe I was bisexual but at the same time, can't see myself dating a girl so now I'm all confuse.



i kinda believe that we love people, not genders.
i've grown up straight(?) , but always wondering if i really am bi. 
i am married to a man , but i have never felt much for men , women on the other side i have. 
this probably does not help any. sorry.


----------



## boujee

It helps. I do like her but not much for other women.
It makes sense.


----------



## tae

Gamzee said:


> Not sure if I'm not going to get much support but is it possible to be bisexual but you're really not as attracted to the opposite sex?
> As I'm growing up I thought I was straight, I still think I am. Throughout I've been attracted to only men. Up to this point, I have this friend who's female and I really really like her, like literally. I can see myself with her but I can't really see myself dating other women but her. Now I believe I was bisexual but at the same time, can't see myself dating a girl so now I'm all confuse.



you might just be attracted to her and find her to be aesthetically / physically pleasing? but if you honestly can't see yourself ever dating a girl, and you're not even certain if you'd date her, i'm not sure you should jump the gun and say you're bisexual. maybe you're just curious?


----------



## boujee

taesaek said:


> you might just be attracted to her and find her to be aesthetically / physically pleasing? but if you honestly can't see yourself ever dating a girl, and you're not even certain if you'd date her, i'm not sure you should jump the gun and say you're bisexual. maybe you're just curious?




Probably! I can see myself dating her but I don't really have much of attraction to other women. I'm probably curious and exploring my sexuality so who knows~
She's gay herself, I find her both aesthetically pleasing with a nice personality as a bonus. Ha, if I ever dated her she would make jokes in how she made a straight girl gay. u0u


----------



## tae

Gamzee said:


> Probably! I can see myself dating her but I don't really have much of attraction to other women. I'm probably curious and exploring my sexuality so who knows~
> She's gay herself, I find her both aesthetically pleasing with a nice personality as a bonus. Ha, if I ever dated her she would make jokes in how she made a straight girl gay. u0u



regardless play around and find what fits for you. but just be safe while you do, haha. :') there's no harm in experimenting and don't feel pressured to put a label on yourself right away. it'll drive you crazy trying to guess and put yourself into a block. just do what feels right and go from there, friend. ~


----------



## NursePhantump

OK how exactly do you explain they and them pronouns to someone because I'm having trouble explaining this and it's simply bc they don't understand which is fine just

difficulty


----------



## tae

NursePhantump said:


> OK how exactly do you explain they and them pronouns to someone because I'm having trouble explaining this and it's simply bc they don't understand which is fine just
> 
> difficulty



that the person (or yourself) don't go by he/him/she/her pronouns and prefer to stay gender neutral and that the only pronouns they'll respond to are they/them.


----------



## NursePhantump

taesaek said:


> that the person (or yourself) don't go by he/him/she/her pronouns and prefer to stay gender neutral and that the only pronouns they'll respond to are they/them.



I've tried explaining that part already, btw yes it is me going by the they/them pronouns. But they're asking things like "why do you use these pronouns though?" and I'm trying to explain that it's simply because it just feels right and they're rly not understanding and I'm starting to think it's on purpose whoops


----------



## boujee

taesaek said:


> regardless play around and find what fits for you. but just be safe while you do, haha. :') there's no harm in experimenting and don't feel pressured to put a label on yourself right away. it'll drive you crazy trying to guess and put yourself into a block. just do what feels right and go from there, friend. ~




I will! Or I will try. I'm not going to go to any clubs or anything, especially since it's cold out to experiment on some girls. And once again I'll try. I've been thinking about it for awhile so it'll come to me soon I guess.


----------



## tae

NursePhantump said:


> I've tried explaining that part already, btw yes it is me going by the they/them pronouns. But they're asking things like "why do you use these pronouns though?" and I'm trying to explain that it's simply because it just feels right and they're rly not understanding and I'm starting to think it's on purpose whoops



are you agender? how do you identify if you don't mind me asking.
does said individual know you identify that way?
does this person speak a different language than you because i've often learned with some people who speak a different mother tongue than english have a hard time understanding the use of they/them pronouns because of how they're taught / used in their own language.


----------



## NursePhantump

taesaek said:


> are you agender? how do you identify if you don't mind me asking.
> does said individual know you identify that way?
> does this person speak a different language than you because i've often learned with some people who speak a different mother tongue than english have a hard time understanding the use of they/them pronouns because of how they're taught / used in their own language.



I'm actually demigirl, I don't mind you asking! I tried to explain that to this person but it didn't come across quite right and it just confused them even more. They asked why I don't use she and her pronouns instead since I feel partially female and it would confuse less people.


----------



## boujee

NursePhantump said:


> I've tried explaining that part already, btw yes it is me going by the they/them pronouns. But they're asking things like "why do you use these pronouns though?" and I'm trying to explain that it's simply because it just feels right and they're rly not understanding and I'm starting to think it's on purpose whoops




I don't think it's on purpose, it's probably a new concept to them so the only thing they really can do is ask questions because that's all they can do to get some clarity. It's kinda like me when I was trying to understand more about transgender people, mostly because my adoptive aunt is trans, I didn't really talk to her much growing up as kid since she was my uncle before and mostly because my family was isolated so it would have been weird to throw that on the table so I went on the Internet seeking answers lol. I understand it a bit more and I even came to a reasonable time to talk to my aunt about it.
I love her really much and so does my family. In due time they'll understand.


----------



## NursePhantump

Gamzee said:


> I don't think it's on purpose, it's probably a new concept to them so the only thing they really can do is ask questions because that's all they can do to get some clarity. It's kinda like me when I was trying to understand more about transgender people, mostly because my adoptive aunt is trans, I didn't really talk to her much growing up as kid since she was my uncle before and mostly because my family was isolated so it would have been weird to throw that on the table so I went on the Internet seeking answers lol. I understand it a bit more and I even came to a reasonable time to talk to my aunt about it.
> I love her really much and so does my family. In due time they'll understand.



I hope they do because I do like having this person as a friend but I think I might just send them an article on demigenders and get it over with because I've never been good at explaining things ^^;


----------



## tae

NursePhantump said:


> I'm actually demigirl, I don't mind you asking! I tried to explain that to this person but it didn't come across quite right and it just confused them even more. They asked why I don't use she and her pronouns instead since I feel partially female and it would confuse less people.



but she/her pronouns make you feel uncomfortable right? so just tell them that. "i don't fully identify as female, so female pronouns feel incorrect to me so please don't use them towards me." if they can't understand it, i could at least hope they'd respect your request to be comfortable and happy.


----------



## NursePhantump

taesaek said:


> but she/her pronouns make you feel uncomfortable right? so just tell them that. "i don't fully identify as female, so female pronouns feel incorrect to me so please don't use them towards me." if they can't understand it, i could at least hope they'd respect your request to be comfortable and happy.



they make me very uncomfortable yes (vomits at family gatherings) and hopefully they will, I've sent them a thing on demigender and am seriously hoping that it helps even a little.


----------



## libertyxrose

I am bi in a lesbian relationship. Almost everyone in my class is homophobic (except my gf lmao) so we're terrified to come out. In the bathroom my girlfriend anonymously wrote I am a lesbian on the door and recieved no end of hate. Why can't I just be who I am  D:


----------



## visibleghost

libertyxrose said:


> I am bi in a lesbian relationship. Almost everyone in my class is homophobic (except my gf lmao) so we're terrified to come out. In the bathroom my girlfriend anonymously wrote I am a lesbian on the door and recieved no end of hate. Why can't I just be who I am  D:



homophobia sucks so much. hope you can get to be in a place where you feel safe enough to come out sometime soon. good luck ;;


----------



## libertyxrose

lencurryboy said:


> homophobia sucks so much. hope you can get to be in a place where you feel safe enough to come out sometime soon. good luck ;;



tyty


----------



## Dorian

Awesome! Hi all! I am a gender fluid married woman with a gender fluid nineteen year old daughter. Always have been even back when we didn't have a descriptive title!


----------



## Bowie

I can't decide what the hell I am. Sexually, I know I'm gay, but when it comes down to my gender it's difficult. More or less, I don't agree with gender norms. If I want to wear something longer than a suit then I will, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm trying to be a girl. I'm just trying to be me, and it's irrelevant to me whether that makes me look like a girl or a boy. I identify as a boy, and I'm 100% fine with identifying as a boy, but at the same time I'm very oblivious to it. I don't know what that would be called.


----------



## boujee

Bowie said:


> I can't decide what the hell I am. Sexually, I know I'm gay, but when it comes down to my gender it's difficult. More or less, I don't agree with gender norms. If I want to wear something longer than a suit then I will, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm trying to be a girl. I'm just trying to be me, and it's irrelevant to me whether that makes me look like a girl or a boy. I identify as a boy, and I'm 100% fine with identifying as a boy, but at the same time I'm very oblivious to it. I don't know what that would be called.



It's called being you


----------



## tae

Bowie said:


> I can't decide what the hell I am. Sexually, I know I'm gay, but when it comes down to my gender it's difficult. More or less, I don't agree with gender norms. If I want to wear something longer than a suit then I will, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm trying to be a girl. I'm just trying to be me, and it's irrelevant to me whether that makes me look like a girl or a boy. I identify as a boy, and I'm 100% fine with identifying as a boy, but at the same time I'm very oblivious to it. I don't know what that would be called.



clothes don't have a gender. wearing a dress doesn't make you any less of a boy, just like me wearing makeup and growing my hair out doesn't make me any less of a boy.


----------



## seliph

Tbh the notion that clothes have anything to do with your gender is actually a very transphobic way to think.


----------



## Bowie

I'm not talking strictly about clothes. You have no idea how I feel about my gender identity. Stop trying to find random posts of mine to attack.


----------



## seliph

Bowie said:


> I'm not talking strictly about clothes. You have no idea how I feel about my gender identity. Stop trying to find random posts of mine to attack.



I didn't say you were. Stop taking general statements so personally.


----------



## tae

Bowie said:


> I'm not talking strictly about clothes. You have no idea how I feel about my gender identity. Stop trying to find random posts of mine to attack.



whoa whoa whoa calm down, nobody is attacking you.


----------



## Alienfish

taesaek said:


> clothes don't have a gender. wearing a dress doesn't make you any less of a boy, just like me wearing makeup and growing my hair out doesn't make me any less of a boy.



This.. It annoys me when people associate such crap with a certain gender/sex out of the blue. It's one thing if you don't feel comfortable wearing either because of your identity but it's rude to assume everyone thinks that way or likewise.


----------



## visibleghost

Bowie said:


> I can't decide what the hell I am. Sexually, I know I'm gay, but when it comes down to my gender it's difficult. More or less, I don't agree with gender norms. If I want to wear something longer than a suit then I will, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm trying to be a girl. I'm just trying to be me, and it's irrelevant to me whether that makes me look like a girl or a boy. I identify as a boy, and I'm 100% fine with identifying as a boy, but at the same time I'm very oblivious to it. I don't know what that would be called.



I used to feel this was too, for a long time. Well, one kind of big difference was that it bothered me I guess haha, but yeah.
I didn't really care about gender, but I kind of wished I didn't have to label myself with a gender identity. I wished I could just be me and not have to be gendered all the time with pronouns, "girl clothes" or stuff because I just wanted to enjoy stuff because I liked them, not because I was a certain gender.
 After some time of feeling this way I started getting more and more certain that I was male, which is what I identify as today. I still don't really care about gender a lot, I don't really care about gender norms, I still wish gender didn't have to be  such a big deal, but now i definitely have a gender identity, which I didn't back then... I dunno I guess I wanna say that it's fine to feel like that and that I kinda get it (unless I don't ahheh)

 I personally don't think you need to label yourself if you don't care. People around you will probably keep reading you and gendering you as male, and if you don't think it matters and it doesn't bother you then it is probably fine. You don't have to tell anyone either, if you don't feel the need to. But just because you are fine with identifying as a boy it doesn't mean that you have to be one, so I suggest that if you feel confused or wish to explore this you could try to find out about different identities.

Personal opinion: I think it's annoying that gender is a really big deal and that you pretty much are cis until proven otherwise. I just wish gender wasn't part of everything all the time.  I don't know, I'm just tired of it.. rant over i guess haha sorry this wasnt really a great reply


----------



## Bowie

I think I'll just have to keep my feelings to myself because apparently I'm transphobic.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Tbh I like to consider myself agender but a lot of people have boatloads of beef with that idea so I usually never bring it up.


----------



## tae

Bowie said:


> I think I'll just have to keep my feelings to myself because apparently I'm transphobic.



saying an action is transphobic isnt the same as calling someone transphobic


----------



## seliph

That Zephyr Guy said:


> Tbh I like to consider myself agender *but a lot of people have boatloads of beef with that idea* so I usually never bring it up.



Who I'll fight them


----------



## Bowie

taesaek said:


> saying an action is transphobic isnt the same as calling someone transphobic



I haven't made any actions. I asked for some clarity and my way of thinking is apparently transphobic now. Just goes to show how sensitive some people are. What a day.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Bowie said:


> I haven't made any actions. I asked for some clarity and my way of thinking is apparently transphobic now. Just goes to show how sensitive some people are. What a day.



Instead of taking offense over finding out your way of thinking is a bit wrong maybe learn to change your way of thinking.


Or don't. Idrc. Who needs an open mind?


----------



## seliph

Bowie said:


> I haven't made any actions. I asked for some clarity and my way of thinking is apparently transphobic now. Just goes to show how sensitive some people are. What a day.



Holy **** it's amazing how many posts someone can make about how people are "too sensitive" but be the most sensitive and upset person on the boards.
That way of thinking is transphobic, and it's not uncommon for trans people to have internally transphobic thoughts, especially when trying to figure themselves out. Nor is it uncommon for LG people to have internally homophobic thoughts or women to have internalized misogyny. It's something that basically everyone deals with that can be unlearned.

Get over yourself.


----------



## Bowie

That Zephyr Guy said:


> Instead of taking offense over finding out your way of thinking is a bit wrong maybe learn to change your way of thinking.
> 
> 
> Or don't. Idrc. Who needs an open mind?



Maybe I'd agree if I actually said a single thing about my way of thinking. I'm just being accused randomly based on the smallest things I've said about my gender. What is it with this forum today?



nvll said:


> Holy **** it's amazing how many posts someone can make about how people are "too sensitive" but be the most sensitive and upset person on the boards.
> That way of thinking is transphobic, and it's not uncommon for trans people to have internally transphobic thoughts, especially when trying to figure themselves out. Nor is it uncommon for LG people to have internally homophobic thoughts or women to have internalized misogyny. It's something that basically everyone deals with that can be unlearned.
> 
> Get over yourself.



Well, I don't know or care whether you're homophobic or transphobic or a misogynist or not, but I know that I'm not and I was only seeking some causal advice. I don't know why you're so interested in pursuing every little thing I say.


----------



## Alienfish

Bowie said:


> I think I'll just have to keep my feelings to myself because apparently I'm transphobic.



No I wouldn't say you are but putting too much emphasis on that and assuming it's all about it is a bit naive. One thing if you don't feel comfortable in said stuff because one or more reasons is one thing, basing it off that is another. Sure, people may alter their looks a lot and I don't blame them but to be honest I wouldn't assume stuff based on what you wear. If you told me you are whatever I would stick with that to show respect.

To later posts about agender, I consider myself that and while I have maybe more attributes to whatever gender/sex than the other I don't want to define myself being whatever gender/sex there is. I'm fine with whatever pronoun to be honest, I just don't want a definition and prejudices based on what comes with being a girl, boy etc. and I don't feel like home in either of the worlds.. Like if "world of man" would be eg, soccer and beer and "woman" being typical womanly things like caring way too much or whatever I'm neither.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Bowie said:


> Maybe I'd agree if I actually said a single thing about my way of thinking. I'm just being accused randomly based on the smallest things I've said about my gender. What is it with this forum today?



If you don't think like that then why exactly are you getting offended....? If you've done nothing wrong then what's to be upset about.


----------



## visibleghost

moko: yeah, i know a lot of people don't feel "at home" in either the stereotypically male or female role and therefore either id as nonbinary or like they don't really care.
 i honestly really dislike that certain ways of living, or certain clothes or interests are gendered, it shouldnt have to be like that :<


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Tbh the fact that you're taking such offense to the thing he said only makes it look more like you actually think that way. If you didn't make such a huge fuss over it I wouldn't have thought so at all.


----------



## Bowie

Well, I'm gonna go off for a while in that case. I must have a dark cloud hovering over my head today or something, the way everything seems to be going.


----------



## Shimmer

lencurryboy said:


> Personal opinion: I think it's annoying that gender is a really big deal and that you pretty much are cis until proven otherwise. I just wish gender wasn't part of everything all the time.  I don't know, I'm just tired of it.. rant over i guess haha sorry this wasnt really a great reply



I hate how gender is a big deal too. Why is it that only females "can" wear makeup? What makes things for "boys" or "girls?" It bothers me. Why can't we all just wear whatever and have everything be gender neutral?


----------



## Alienfish

Shimmer said:


> I hate how gender is a big deal too. Why is it that only females "can" wear makeup? What makes things for "boys" or "girls?" It bothers me. Why can't we all just wear whatever and have everything be gender neutral?



Because the society is constantly implemented with norms and ideas that everyone should follow, probably most noticeable if you look around in magazines and whatnot. Yes, it's one of the stupidest ideas to ever enter this world, and I've seen people go very much like "wtf" when I say they can wear a dress if they want (yeah some think I'm way too open-minded about things...).

Also we probably can't because people tend to have bs opinions on everything that is not norm and think they have the freedom to hack on people not following it. Yes it's stupid as hell.


----------



## Trundle

Moko said:


> Because the society is constantly implemented with norms and ideas that everyone should follow, probably most noticeable if you look around in magazines and whatnot. Yes, it's one of the stupidest ideas to ever enter this world, and I've seen people go very much like "wtf" when I say they can wear a dress if they want (yeah some think I'm way too open-minded about things...).
> 
> Also we probably can't because people tend to have bs opinions on everything that is not norm and think they have the freedom to hack on people not following it. Yes it's stupid as hell.



actually, it more follows original human instinct based on who can procreate with who, but I get what you're saying that nowadays it is just society


----------



## tae

Shimmer said:


> I hate how gender is a big deal too. Why is it that only females "can" wear makeup? What makes things for "boys" or "girls?" It bothers me. Why can't we all just wear whatever and have everything be gender neutral?



i love the **** out of makeup and i'll wear it and be the prettiest boy i can be. :') <3


----------



## visibleghost

im gonna go through a trans evaluation thing in like half a year or something and im not rly looking forward to it because it feels like i will have to sit there nd prove that im male by being like "um i never wear makeip and also i love cars" ahdiskf im dying


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> im gonna go through a trans evaluation thing in like half a year or something and im not rly looking forward to it because it feels like i will have to sit there nd prove that im male by being like "um i never wear makeip and also i love cars" ahdiskf im dying



well i mean i'm a trans male and i wear makeup so i don't see how you saying "i never wear makeup" makes you male or not. but o k.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

taesaek said:


> well i mean i'm a trans male and i wear makeup so i don't see how you saying "i never wear makeup" makes you male or not. but o k.



I think thats kinda his point tho - it's a stupid reason to try and gender somebody off of that but he still has to "prove" to people that he's a dude somehow and how exactly do you do that without like, sucking up to people's idea of what gender is


----------



## tae

That Zephyr Guy said:


> I think thats kinda his point tho - it's a stupid reason to try and gender somebody off of that but he still has to "prove" to people that he's a dude somehow and how exactly do you do that without like, sucking up to people's idea of what gender is



which is really really dumb if you ask me.
because do you know how many cis-men out there wear makeup? lots. lots and lots of cis-gender men wear more makeup than me. and they kill it. <3


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

taesaek said:


> which is really really dumb if you ask me.
> because do you know how many cis-men out there wear makeup? lots. lots and lots of cis-gender men wear more makeup than me. and they kill it. <3



lol nobody kills it more than u tho


----------



## tae

Trundle said:


> actually, it more follows original human instinct based on who can procreate with who, but I get what you're saying that nowadays it is just society



so if a woman sees  a man wearing a dress, she can't procreate with him? well alright then, trundle. 

- - - Post Merge - - -



That Zephyr Guy said:


> lol nobody kills it more than u tho



bless u, my fav sky weird uncle. <3 u da cutest white honky i know.


----------



## visibleghost

taesaek said:


> well i mean i'm a trans male and i wear makeup so i don't see how you saying "i never wear makeup" makes you male or not. but o k.



yeah i know, that's what i mean. but people at those places are doctors and basically to get to transition i need to get a diagnosis of "gender dysphoria", and basically they will tell if you are trans or not based upon some interviews. and while i actually haven't been to one yet i feel incredibly anxious about having to go there, because to me, in my head, it feels like they will be like "um unless you do these stereotypically male things you cannot be male", or at least it will make them doubt me. that's what i mean. 
and it sucks lmao. i think u kinda missed my point


----------



## tae

lencurryboy said:


> yeah i know, that's what i mean. but people at those places are doctors and basically to get to transition i need to get a diagnosis of "gender dysphoria", and basically they will tell if you are trans or not based upon some interviews. and while i actually haven't been to one yet i feel incredibly anxious about having to go there, because to me, in my head, it feels like they will be like "um unless you do these stereotypically male things you cannot be male", or at least it will make them doubt me. that's what i mean.
> and it sucks lmao. i think u kinda missed my point



nah man i know what you meant. i'm just saying i agree yeah. it's stupid that someone get's to assess if you're trans enough. which is troubling because i'm almost certain the person who will interview you will be someone who is cis-gender.


----------



## visibleghost

taesaek said:


> nah man i know what you meant. i'm just saying i agree yeah. it's stupid that someone get's to assess if you're trans enough. which is troubling because i'm almost certain the person who will interview you will be someone who is cis-gender.



oh alright haha sorry ^^
a d yeah!!! that sucks. like, i am my gender because i say i am, not because i wear certain clothes, have a certain hairstyle or certain interests etc... yuck


----------



## seliph

lencurryboy said:


> oh alright haha sorry ^^
> a d yeah!!! that sucks. like, i am my gender because i say i am, not because i wear certain clothes, have a certain hairstyle or certain interests etc... yuck



There's someone like that in my area, I forget his name but one of the common questions he asks is "Did you play with Barbies as a child?"

Research the absolute **** out of someone before going to them. If you have a tumblr I'd recommend following foryourhealthandsafety too. They tag all their posts by location so it's easy to find people to avoid or to look into.


----------



## boujee

So is the Q in lgbtaq queer or questioning?


----------



## seliph

Gamzee said:


> So is the Q in lgbata queer or questioning?



I'll always view it as "questioning". There's no need for an umbrella term (and one that's a slur at that) to be part of an acronym which is an umbrella term for the same group of people.


----------



## boujee

nvll said:


> I'll always view it as "questioning". There's no need for an umbrella term (and one that's a slur at that) to be part of an acronym which is an umbrella term for the same group of people.


I figured. I was just browsing a site and seen people saying Q meant queer. I need to take a break.


----------



## Nightmares

People often act weird when I say I want to be bisexual.... _is_ that weird? 

A lot of the time, their replies are: "well be bi then." like what


----------



## tae

Nightmares said:


> People often act weird when I say I want to be bisexual.... _is_ that weird?
> 
> A lot of the time, their replies are: "well be bi then." like what




i mean, do you just wish you were bisexual, or are you actually bisexual?
i think it's kind of weird to hear someone say they want to be bisexual.


----------



## Nightmares

taesaek said:


> i mean, do you just wish you were bisexual, or are you actually bisexual?
> i think it's kind of weird to hear someone say they want to be bisexual.



No, I'm straight >.<


----------



## tae

Nightmares said:


> No, I'm straight >.<



so why would you wan't to be bisexual? like are you just fetishizing it or?


----------



## seliph

Why do you wanna be bisexual lmao what's the joy in being part of a marginalized group


----------



## Nightmares

taesaek said:


> so why would you wan't to be bisexual? like are you just fetishizing it or?



Fetishizing? I just think it'd be nice to be able to like everyone,  idkk

- - - Post Merge - - -



nvll said:


> Why do you wanna be bisexual lmao what's the joy in being part of a marginalized group



I think it's cool to be part of this community ha


----------



## seliph

Nightmares said:


> I think it's cool to be part of this community ha



It's not cool I fear for my life every damn day go away.


----------



## boujee

Nightmares said:


> Fetishizing? I just think it'd be nice to be able to like everyone,  idkk
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I think it's cool to be part of this community ha



That's not a good reason


----------



## Zane

Nightmares said:


> Fetishizing? I just think it'd be nice to be able to like everyone,  idkk



try not to accessorize sexuality lol if you're not bi it is weird to say you want to be just so you can have the label.


----------



## seliph

Why do non LGBT+ people want to invade LGBT+ spaces so much god im so tired


----------



## EtchaSketch

Nightmares said:


> Fetishizing? I just think it'd be nice to be able to like everyone,  idkk
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I think it's cool to be part of this community ha



It isn't a fun thing. Being pan and having to hide it because your parents are completely against it isnt fun.


----------



## tae

Nightmares said:


> Fetishizing? I just think it'd be nice to be able to like everyone,  idkk
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I think it's cool to be part of this community ha



bisexuals don't like everyone though, hence the bi, meaning two. *you can be a supporter of the community without having to be bisexual, gay, lesbian, trans or questioning.*

i think what you want is to be able to say that you're part of an oppressed group of people because you're bi... but ya  :^)


----------



## Nightmares

EtchaSketch said:


> It isn't a fun thing. Being pan and having to hide it because your parents are completely against it isnt fun.



No one I know are against it


----------



## basilica

it literally doesnt make sense
like
if u want to 'be able to like everyone' then do it...?
but having a weird fascination with it is fetishistic


----------



## EtchaSketch

Nightmares said:


> No one I know are against it



So? Lucky you i guess??
I'm just sick of people trying to be apart of something for a label. 
Like.. Why??


----------



## Nightmares

taesaek said:


> bisexuals don't like everyone though, bisexuals like two genders. hence the bi, meaning two.
> *you can be a supporter of the community without having to be bisexual, gay, lesbian, trans or questioning.*
> 
> i think what you want is to be able to say that you're part of an oppressed group of people because you're bi.



I don't get the last bit, sorry, it's late xD

- - - Post Merge - - -



EtchaSketch said:


> So? Lucky you i guess??
> I'm just sick of people trying to be apart of something for a label.
> Like.. Why??



I'm not trying to be part of it for the label?

- - - Post Merge - - -



basilica said:


> it literally doesnt make sense
> like
> if u want to 'be able to like everyone' then do it...?
> but having a weird fascination with it is fetishistic



I can't make myself like girls though 

And haha I'm not exactly "fascinated" by it


----------



## Bowie

Being part of the LGBT+ community isn't a walk in the park, as much as we would like it to be. Either way, you can't just choose your sexuality like that.


----------



## Nightmares

Zane said:


> try not to accessorize sexuality lol if you're not bi it is weird to say you want to be just so you can have the label.



I don't want to bi for the label ahh

- - - Post Merge - - -



Bowie said:


> Being part of the LGBT+ community isn't a walk in the park, as much as we would like it to be. Either way, you can't just choose your sexuality like that.



I-I realised >.<


----------



## tae

Nightmares said:


> I don't get the last bit, sorry, it's late xD
> 
> 
> I can't make myself like girls though
> 
> And haha I'm not exactly "fascinated" by it




i just think it's really weird to hear someone say "i wish i was bisexual."


----------



## basilica

taesaek said:


> bisexuals don't like everyone though, bisexuals like two genders. hence the bi, meaning two.


mmm idk about this, its an ongoing debate
a lot of bisexual ppl use it to mean a variety of things

edit: didnt mean 2 make this sound so rude oop


----------



## Nightmares

taesaek said:


> i just think it's really weird to hear someone say "i wish i was bisexual."



Fair enough haha


----------



## EtchaSketch

basilica said:


> mmm idk about this, its an ongoing debate
> a lot of bisexual ppl use it to mean a variety of things
> 
> edit: didnt mean 2 make this sound so rude oop



No. Anything more than bi is pan.


----------



## Nightmares

By "everyone" I meant both genders btw, just worded it a bit wrong I guess


----------



## basilica

EtchaSketch said:


> No. Anything more than bi is pan.



thats not necessarily true
its an ongoing discussion in the community


----------



## seliph

GOD I'm so tired of people like this.
You don't want to be bisexual. You don't want to be gay or lesbian or trans or ace. You want a fun, ~quirky and different~ label for yourself so you can stand out from the crowd but you don't want any of the struggles that come with it. You don't want your family and friends leaving you. You don't want to be told "it's just a phase", or that you'll get over it, or that it's not real for your whole life. You don't want to be told someone "doesn't believe" in your sexuality or gender identity. You don't want to be sick of all the heteronormative media. You don't want the panic attacks when people mislabel you. Regarding bisexuality specifically, you don't want potential LG partners to tell you they're uninterested in you because they only date "real gays".

Go away. You aren't LGBTA+ and your want to wear our identities as cute quirky labels isn't welcome here.

- - - Post Merge - - -

And as a sidenote the definition of "bisexual" is "same and other genders" not "two genders"


----------



## tae

refer to kai's post above.


----------



## Nightmares

nvll said:


> GOD I'm so tired of people like this.
> You don't want to be bisexual. You don't want to be gay or lesbian or trans or ace. You want a fun, ~quirky and different~ label for yourself so you can stand out from the crowd but you don't want any of the struggles that come with it. You don't want your family and friends leaving you. You don't want to be told "it's just a phase", or that you'll get over it, or that it's not real for your whole life. You don't want to be told someone "doesn't believe" in your sexuality or gender identity. You don't want to be sick of all the heteronormative media. You don't want the panic attacks when people mislabel you. Regarding bisexuality specifically, you don't want potential LG partners to tell you they're uninterested in you because they only date "real gays".
> 
> Go away. You aren't LGBTA+ and your want to wear our identities as cute quirky labels isn't welcome here.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> And as a sidenote the definition of "bisexual" is "same and other genders" not "two genders"



You're just assuming all this stuff lmao 

Sorry for offending you though,  I was just asking a question and didn't realise people would get upset about this ;-;
I apologise


----------



## Bowie

Sexuality is relative. Not everybody _needs_ a label slapped on them. Just be yourself and if you feel attracted to somebody, then go with it. Labels, to me, are just for convenience. You shouldn't really have one just to fit in or feel part of something. If you don't know what you are yet, just don't go by one. It doesn't have to be a huge deal.


----------



## seliph

Nightmares said:


> You're just assuming all this stuff lmao
> 
> Sorry for offending you though,  I was just asking a question and didn't realise people would get upset about this ;-;
> I apologise



Am I wrong to assume you don't want any of the bullcrap I listed along with your desire for bisexuality?
Of course people are going to be upset. People have been through hell because of their identity and it's really insulting when people who aren't a part of it waltz in all "Omg I wish I were ____!" when they have no idea.


----------



## basilica

Nightmares said:


> You're just assuming all this stuff lmao






Nightmares said:


> I can't make myself like girls though
> 
> And haha I'm not exactly "fascinated" by it



where is the truth


----------



## Nightmares

nvll said:


> Am I wrong to assume you don't want any of the bullcrap I listed along with your desire for bisexuality?
> Of course people are going to be upset. People have been through hell because of their identity and it's really insulting when people who aren't a part of it waltz in all "Omg I wish I were ____!" when they have no idea.



Honestly,  I don't know anyone who wouldn't accept me being LGBT+,  but obviously I couldn't prove that.
And yeah,  I understand, I guess I should've worded my original post in a different way

But I was only asking if it was weird,  I wasn't coming in here announcing that "being bi is soo cool omgg I wish I was bi!!1!" xD

- - - Post Merge - - -



basilica said:


> where is the truth



How do I show you the truuth


----------



## Jacob

Nightmares said:


> People often act weird when I say I want to be bisexual.... _is_ that weird?



yes


----------



## seliph

Nightmares said:


> Honestly,  I don't know anyone who wouldn't accept me being LGBT+,  but obviously I couldn't prove that.
> And yeah,  I understand, I guess I should've worded my original post in a different way
> 
> But I was only asking if it was weird,  I wasn't coming in here announcing that "being bi is soo cool omgg I wish I was bi!!1!" xD



You might not know people now but you're what, 14? 15? You're gonna meet plenty of other people in your life and chances are, not all of them are going to be welcoming. Not to mention you don't even need to know people personally. Just seeing anti-lgbta+ protests and posts on social media is hurtful and terrifying, even if you have never seen these people in your life.


----------



## Nightmares

nvll said:


> You might not know people now but you're what, 14? 15? You're gonna meet plenty of other people in your life and chances are, not all of them are going to be welcoming. Not to mention you don't even need to know people personally. Just seeing anti-lgbta+ protests and posts on social media is hurtful and terrifying, even if you have never seen these people in your life.



Yeah, I see.... ;-;


----------



## boujee

Nightmares said:


> Honestly,  I don't know anyone who wouldn't accept me being LGBT+,  but obviously I couldn't prove that.
> And yeah,  I understand, I guess I should've worded my original post in a different way
> 
> But I was only asking if it was weird,  I wasn't coming in here announcing that "being bi is soo cool omgg I wish I was bi!!1!" xD
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> How do I show you the truuth




Well you are a kid so I guess we should take that into consideration. I remember my questioning phase when I honestly thought I was  something base off reading it off the internet. I remember saying I was pan, then bi, then gay, and so fourth and so on. I came to realize I was Herero since I really had no attraction to the same sex. I dated one girl but then went downhill. I actually came to liking a real close friend of mines so I came here asking for questions. I recalled saying I hardly had any attraction for females period but for someone reason I had attraction for her so I'm bi-curious in a way. You're just exploring yourself which is no biggie. You learn and grown.


----------



## Trundle

taesaek said:


> so if a woman sees  a man wearing a dress, she can't procreate with him? well alright then, trundle.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> bless u, my fav sky weird uncle. <3 u da cutest white honky i know.



Oh no not at all, I simply meant that with human instinct originally coming from the need to survive, a female would see a male as another, but a female would have seen a female as one of the same. that's how the original gender roles happened. also, men were originally quite a bit stronger built than women which happens a lot in nature (and sometimes it's even the other way around). I myself support just referring to everyone as people, rather than specific genders. 

My original point was just saying human instinct at first was simply to procreate, I wasn't trying to mention anything about what you said. I was just mentioning how the original split happened. Sorry to cause the confusion.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Nightmares said:


> Yeah, I see.... ;-;



It's okay. You just kinda crossed into a territory a lot of people get angry about because you wish you could help and empathize with everyone but people don't like that because of the way you put it. You'll learn better how to express your feelings as you age.


----------



## seliph

Trundle said:


> It's okay. You just kinda crossed into a territory a lot of people get angry about because you wish you could help and empathize with everyone but people don't like that because of the way you put it. You'll learn better how to express your feelings as you age.



I may be reading this incorrectly but if you seriously read anyone's posts as people getting mad about empathy then you really need to go over it all again.


----------



## KarlaKGB

i wanna be a cactus


----------



## Nightmares

KarlaKGB said:


> i wanna be a cactus



Pineapples are cool too


----------



## Trundle

nvll said:


> I may be reading this incorrectly but if you seriously read anyone's posts as people getting mad about empathy then you really need to go over it all again.



No, I never said you were mad about empathy. I just said you didn't like the way they put it. They stated their feelings in a way that wasn't a very good way of putting it, and you were rightfully upset about it. How they said it made it sound like they wanted to be in a worse position than they are now, but in reality they just wanted to accommodate more people in life, which I am quite certain I'm correct in saying because Nightmares liked my post.


----------



## Bowie

I think the truth of the matter is that people just like to get offended nowadays. It's trendy to be angry.


----------



## Trundle

Bowie said:


> I think the truth of the matter is that people just like to get offended nowadays. It's trendy to be angry.



Haha, I totally agree with you Bowie. People love making themselves the victim of a situation. I've even done it myself plenty of times, regrettably.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Bowie said:


> I think the truth of the matter is that people just like to get offended nowadays. It's trendy to be angry.



And you've apparently had a fun trend to get offended at what other people get offended by.



Trundle said:


> People love making themselves the victim of a situation. I've even done it myself plenty of times, regrettably.



He's doing it too. Right now.


----------



## seliph

Trundle said:


> No, I never said you were mad about empathy. I just said you didn't like the way they put it. They stated their feelings in a way that wasn't a very good way of putting it, and you were rightfully upset about it. How they said it made it sound like they wanted to be in a worse position than they are now, but in reality they just wanted to accommodate more people in life, which I am quite certain I'm correct in saying because Nightmares liked my post.


I was talking about everyone else's reply too but okay, I just misread your post then.



Bowie said:


> I think the truth of the matter is that people just like to get offended nowadays. It's trendy to be angry.


no


----------



## Fantasyrick

Bowie said:


> I think the truth of the matter is that people just like to get offended nowadays. It's trendy to be angry.



Have you not seen your post history?


----------



## Trundle

nvll said:


> I was talking about everyone else's reply too but okay, I just misread your post then.



Hey, it's no problem. English is such a terrible yet wonderful language.

I just wanted to introduce myself by the way. My name is Aiden and I'm not comfortable with sharing my sexuality with the internet right now, but I love hearing people's stories and helping them with problems if they have any.


----------



## Redlatios

I might get kicked out of my house on the next few days. Maybe coming out today wasnt a good life choice at all. Welp, i just hope everyone dear to you doesnt react like my family did.


----------



## Trundle

Redlatios said:


> I might get kicked out of my house on the next few days. Maybe coming out today wasnt a good life choice at all. Welp, i just hope everyone dear to you doesnt react like my family did.



Dang... That sucks man. Just remember that this is probably going to just be a low in your life, but it is going to help you in the long run.


----------



## Redlatios

Trundle said:


> Dang... That sucks man. Just remember that this is probably going to just be a low in your life, but it is going to help you in the long run.



I was planning on leaving just not this soon lol.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Watch out guys. Don't rag on Bowie too hard. We'll feed his idea that everyone is being offended at him just because it's the trendy thing to do. Let's give him special treatment.


----------



## seliph

Trundle said:


> Hey, it's no problem. English is such a terrible yet wonderful language.
> 
> I just wanted to introduce myself by the way. My name is Aiden and I'm not comfortable with sharing my sexuality with the internet right now, but I love hearing people's stories and helping them with problems if they have any.



I can't read for **** tbh but hi your name's a letter off from mine that's weird



Redlatios said:


> I might get kicked out of my house on the next few days. Maybe coming out today wasnt a good life choice at all. Welp, i just hope everyone dear to you doesnt react like my family did.



Good vibes your way, hopefully everything works out


----------



## boujee

Can someone answer this for me? What exactly is asexuality? 
I know that the person is repulsed by sex but then I see people on tumblr who would change up the term? Such as you can be asexual and also enjoy sex! But I thought you wouldn't enjoy? Like eating but you're already full? I seen some people say there's a spectrum of asexuality, like hyper sexuality. Basically you're asexual but love sex, so then what's the point of being asexual? It's kinda like someone saying they're demisexual(getting a sexual attraction until you have a close bond) but nearly everyone waits to get to know someone before doing them. Everyone's sexual activity is different, ranging from low to high or even in the middle but what's the point is saying you're repulsed by sex but still want to do sex? It just seems like virgin-talk.


----------



## Trundle

Gamzee said:


> Can someone answer this for me? What exactly is asexuality?
> I know that the person is repulsed by sex but then I see people on tumblr who would change up the term? Such as you can be asexual and also enjoy sex! But I thought you wouldn't enjoy? Like eating but you're already full? I seen some people say there's a spectrum of asexuality, like hyper sexuality. Basically you're asexual but love sex, so then what's the point of being asexual? It's kinda like someone saying they're demisexual(getting a sexual attraction until you have a close bond) but nearly everyone waits to get to know someone before doing them. Everyone's sexual activity is different, ranging from low to high or even in the middle but what's the point is saying you're repulsed by sex but still want to do sex? It just seems like virgin-talk.



I think that it is different for every person. It's probably better to just ask the people you know what it means for them.


----------



## Jeremy

Hi all,

Please be sure to respect other opinions in this thread. And rather than attacking someone for saying something you don't like or agree with, remember that people often don't mean any harm and are simply young or lack knowledge about such things.  It's always better to try and educate someone than to attack them due to a lack of understanding

_(Oblivia helped me write this post, but she's sick and not feeling up to TBTing right now)_


----------



## oath2order

Gamzee said:


> Can someone answer this for me? What exactly is asexuality?



I think it's the lack of a sex drive.



Gamzee said:


> I know that the person is repulsed by sex but then I see people on tumblr who would change up the term?



Doesn't have to be repulsed. Pretty sure it's just neutral at best, repulsed at worst. Spectrum, yeah.



Gamzee said:


> Such as you can be asexual and also enjoy sex! But I thought you wouldn't enjoy? Like eating but you're already full?



In that case I view it like "Well I'm not going to go active seek out sex but if I happen to have it, I'm cool"


----------



## boujee

I have actually. It ranged from people who never had sex before and just found it disgusting(virginity), confused teenagers, people who literally just want to belong to a lifestyle without any effort, etc. I remember one of my aunt's clients at work was asexual until her medication was switch. I believe it was SSRI's, Paxil in particular, have been known to make people 'sexually numb' and/or interfere with the ability to orgasm or to experience having a sexual drive.

Some people who I connected with had experience sexual abuse and just end up not liking anything sexual at all.
I'm personally a rape/sexual abuse victim and I'm honestly repulsed by sex. I can't see myself having someone doing something so intimidate with me for I'm mentally scare in what I went through. When I go on tumblr trying to look more into the information I see stuff like that and I'm not sure about the term anymore. Asexual= repulsed by sex*

- - - Post Merge - - -



oath2order said:


> I think it's the lack of a sex drive.
> 
> 
> 
> Doesn't have to be repulsed. Pretty sure it's just neutral at best, repulsed at worst. Spectrum, yeah.
> 
> 
> 
> In that case I view it like "Well I'm not going to go active seek out sex but if I happen to have it, I'm cool"



Then it's not really a lack, just a low one at best.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Gamzee said:


> Can someone answer this for me? What exactly is asexuality?
> I know that the person is repulsed by sex but then I see people on tumblr who would change up the term? Such as you can be asexual and also enjoy sex! But I thought you wouldn't enjoy? Like eating but you're already full? I seen some people say there's a spectrum of asexuality, like hyper sexuality. Basically you're asexual but love sex, so then what's the point of being asexual? It's kinda like someone saying they're demisexual(getting a sexual attraction until you have a close bond) but nearly everyone waits to get to know someone before doing them. Everyone's sexual activity is different, ranging from low to high or even in the middle but what's the point is saying you're repulsed by sex but still want to do sex? It just seems like virgin-talk.



You don't experience sexual attraction. You can enjoy sex or be repulsed by it. Keep in mind that for some people that sex is sometimes more than a physical thing. You can also have sex and not really be sexually aroused for some people.


----------



## boujee

That Zephyr Guy said:


> You don't experience sexual attraction. You can enjoy sex or be repulsed by it. Keep in mind that for some people that sex is sometimes more than a physical thing. You can also have sex and not really be sexually aroused for some people.




So a sexual attraction and sexual desire? 
That to me is like asking "well if you smell coffee but don't want to go get one right now, how can you still think it smells good?". Thinking coffee smells good = attraction. Wanting to go get a coffee = desire.


----------



## MishMeesh

Asexuality is not a lack of sex drive, it's a lack of sexual attraction; "sexual attraction" being sexual urges directed at a specific person. An asexual person can have a sex drive (not all do), just as not all hetero/homo/pan/bisexual people have sex drives. Some asexuals are sex-repulsed, and some are sex-neutral or indifferent, and there are even some who actively seek out/enjoy sex for a number of possible reasons (it feels good physically, or as a method of intimacy with a partner, etc.). Some asexuals masturbate, some don't. Some asexuals are survivors of abuse, many aren't. It also may be good to mention that not all sex-repulsed people are asexual. Some people may feel sexual attraction to certain genders but the thought of acting on it is repulsive or even the fact that they feel the attraction make them feel repulsion.


----------



## boujee

MishMeesh said:


> Asexuality is not a lack of sex drive, it's a lack of sexual attraction; "sexual attraction" being sexual urges directed at a specific person. An asexual person can have a sex drive (not all do), just as not all hetero/homo/pan/bisexual people have sex drives. Some asexuals are sex-repulsed, and some are sex-neutral or indifferent, and there are even some who actively seek out/enjoy sex for a number of possible reasons (it feels good physically, or as a method of intimacy with a partner, etc.). Some asexuals masturbate, some don't. Some asexuals are survivors of abuse, many aren't. It also may be good to mention that not all sex-repulsed people are asexual. Some people may feel sexual attraction to certain genders but the thought of acting on it is repulsive or even the fact that they feel the attraction make them feel repulsion.




Still confuse :?
Elaborate some more for me please.


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Gamzee said:


> So a sexual attraction and sexual desire?
> That to me is like asking "well if you smell coffee but don't want to go get one right now, how can you still think it smells good?". Thinking coffee smells good = attraction. Wanting to go get a coffee = desire.



Sort of.

Think of it like this:

A homosexual man will look at an attractive man, and he can feel aroused.
A heterosexual man will look at an attractive woman, and he can feel aroused.
A bisexual man will look at an attractive man, woman, etc, and he can feel aroused.
An asexual man can look at whoever is in front of them and never feel themselves be turned on by somebody else. 

If their sex drive isn't like, absent though, they'll still naturally feel the desire for sexual release - but they won't get it from a person.

At least this is how I understand it. You'd have to ask someone who is asexual and isn't sex repulsed tho for a better understanding.


----------



## boujee

That Zephyr Guy said:


> Sort of.
> 
> Think of it like this:
> 
> A homosexual man will look at an attractive man, and he can feel aroused.
> A heterosexual man will look at an attractive woman, and he can feel aroused.
> A bisexual man will look at an attractive man, woman, etc, and he can feel aroused.
> An asexual man can look at whoever is in front of them and never feel themselves be turned on by somebody else.
> 
> If their sex drive isn't like, absent though, they'll still naturally feel the desire for sexual release - but they won't get it from a person.
> 
> At least this is how I understand it. You'd have to ask someone who is asexual and isn't sex repulsed tho for a better understanding.





Ooh okay. That makes sense a bit. My first language isn't English so it confuses me a bit when I have to translate in my head(just with subject, infinitives, etc).

So I can understand the not getting aroused base of someone's appearance. I'm pretty see lots of people have and haven't. I'm pretty netural. So a asexual person isn't interested in your appearance and but can get off with about anything to increase their sexual desire(fetishes)- basically sex drive.


----------



## seliph

You know how you see Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo and go "GOD I'd hop on that" well asexual people would just go "yeah he looks nice"


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Gamzee said:


> Ooh okay. That makes sense a bit. My first language isn't English so it confuses me a bit when I have to translate in my head(just with subject, infinitives, etc).
> 
> So I can understand the not getting aroused base of someone's appearance. I'm pretty see lots of people have and haven't. I'm pretty netural. So a asexual person isn't interested in your appearance and but can get off with about anything to increase their sexual desire(fetishes)- basically sex drive.



Something to that degree. I'm not really knowledgeable on the specifics.


----------



## oath2order

nvll said:


> You know how you see Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo and go "GOD I'd hop on that" well asexual people would just go "yeah he looks nice"



not the usual type of guy I'm into

but holy damn


----------



## MishMeesh

Gamzee said:


> Still confuse :?
> Elaborate some more for me please.



Sorry, I did kind of pack a bunch of information into a small package. ^^ Do you mean about sex drives, or sex repulsion?

One's sex drive is different than sexual attraction in that it does not necessarily have to be sexually attracted to a specific person or gender characteristics in order to feel sexual arousal. Sexual arousal can occur from viewing a sex act (thus why some asexuals do watch porn). Many people respond biologically to sexual stimuli in sexual situations, regardless of sexual attraction. Sexual attraction, as understood by the asexual community, is experiencing a sexual urge towards (in other words desiring sexual contact with) someone when there is no sexual context present. (For example, seeing a non-sexual picture of someone one finds sexually attractive and desiring sexual contact with them.) For some asexuals that have sex drives, masturbation and orgasms feel good, so they will get themselves aroused for that reason. Other asexuals on the other hand have described their sex drives as an itch that needs to be scratched, but not necessarily something they enjoy. And some asexuals truly don't have a sex drive and so do not masturbate or participate in sex at all.

Now that I've refreshed the page, Zephyr explained it much easier than I have, but hopefully that does help a bit.



nvll said:


> You know how you see Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo and go "GOD I'd hop on that" well asexual people would just go "yeah he looks nice"



Pretty much. Jason Momoa is a very nice looking man. But it doesn't mean I want to do the deed with him.


----------



## boujee

nvll said:


> You know how you see Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo and go "GOD I'd hop on that" well asexual people would just go "yeah he looks nice"




love those muscles, looks nice but I wouldn't hop on that. His eyebrows looks like they're on his eyelids.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Okay so I'm solid on sexual attraction. I'm just now confuse with sexual desire.


----------



## seliph

oath2order said:


> not the usual type of guy I'm into
> 
> but holy damn



I would give my legs to be in the same room as him 'cause lord


----------



## MishMeesh

Gamzee said:


> love those muscles, looks nice but I wouldn't hop on that. His eyebrows looks like they're on his eyelids.
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> Okay so I'm solid on sexual attraction. I'm just now confuse with sexual desire.



As far as I'm aware, sexual desire is similar to if not the same as sexual attraction. Sexual desire may refer to the actual sexual urge one feels towards a specific person. Besides that, I'm not aware of a major difference, but if anyone has heard of them used differently, it'd be interesting to hear.


----------



## boujee

MishMeesh said:


> As far as I'm aware, sexual desire is similar to if not the same as sexual attraction. Sexual desire may refer to the actual sexual urge one feels towards a specific person. Besides that, I'm not aware of a major difference, but if anyone has heard of them used differently, it'd be interesting to hear.




Oooh okay. So will they still be able to have sex without people despite there not being a attraction to get them interested in the first place? I'm just thinking of hits and runs. Or is it soley on just masturbation? I'm thinking of a scenario where a asexual person sexually comes onto their partner for sexual urges but why *** something I'm not into? Does that makes sense?


----------



## MishMeesh

Gamzee said:


> Oooh okay. So will they still be able to have sex without people despite there not being a attraction to get them interested in the first place? I'm just thinking of hits and runs. Or is it soley on just masturbation? I'm thinking of a scenario where a asexual person sexually comes onto their partner for sexual urges but why *** something I'm not into? Does that makes sense?



Asexual people would not have sexual urges or desires towards someone. If an asexual were to be in the mood for sex, it wouldn't be because they are sexually attracted to their partner. So they may get themselves excited first (fantasizing, watching porn, etc), and then engage in a sexual act with their partner, but the horniness (to put it bluntly) would not originate from a sexual urge towards their partner.

(Keep in mind sexuality is a spectrum, and so some people in the middle of the spectrum (e.g. grey-asexual, demisexual) may be turned on by sexual attraction to their partner. But asexual people, on the end of the asexual spectrum, by definition would not).


----------



## Robyn

I haven't read any prior posts, but I just saw this thread I'm not one to turn down an opportunity to speak up: With the way we talk about LGBT, with the whole acronym being synonymous with rights for gays and lesbians, I feel the "T" in GLBT isn't receiving the support they need and I'm not even sure if the transgendered group appreciate being lumped in with services/attitudes geared for homosexual folks (I'd like to ask) because hey, being born in the wrong shape doesn't make you gay (tho you might be, but that's an independent issue). I imagine it's waaaaay easier to be a man (gay or straight) on the subway than it is to be a woman who looks like a biological man on the subway dressed in skirt and heels. It shouldn't be. If that's your gender you should rock it. If cross-dressing isn't your thing because you've been blessed with a gender identity that matches what's in your pants, live and let live.


----------



## seliph

Robyn said:


> I haven't read any prior posts, but I just saw this thread I'm not one to turn down an opportunity to speak up: With the way we talk about LGBT, with the whole acronym being synonymous with rights for gays and lesbians, I feel the "T" in GLBT isn't receiving the support they need and I'm not even sure if the transgendered group appreciate being lumped in with services/attitudes geared for homosexual folks (I'd like to ask) because hey, being born in the wrong shape doesn't make you gay (tho you might be, but that's an independent issue). I imagine it's waaaaay easier to be a man (gay or straight) on the subway than it is to be a woman who looks like a biological man on the subway dressed in skirt and heels. It shouldn't be. If that's your gender you should rock it. If cross-dressing isn't your thing because you've been blessed with a gender identity that matches what's in your pants, live and let live.



I can't make sentences into paragraphs right now so I'm gonna reply in points but

1. It's transgender, not transgendered
2. LGB (mainly LG) are already trying to push trans people out of the acronym, there doesn't need to be cis people saying "well wouldn't trans people feel better if they weren't lumped together blahblah"
3. LGBTA+ people are together because they are all marginalized groups
4. Do not equate being trans to "being in the wrong body" or to "cross-dressing". It's not the same thing. A fully transitioned trans person is still in the same body and clothes to not have genders attached to them.
5. It's easy to say "If that's your gender you should rock it", however, take into account the amount of trans people being assaulted and murdered for rocking it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

ALSO forgot to add probably the most important point: The first people to lead LGBTA+ rallies were trans women. To exclude T from the acronym would be disgusting.


----------



## EtchaSketch

MishMeesh said:


> Asexual people would not have sexual urges or desires towards someone. If an asexual were to be in the mood for sex, it wouldn't be because they are sexually attracted to their partner. So they may get themselves excited first (fantasizing, watching porn, etc), and then engage in a sexual act with their partner, but the horniness (to put it bluntly) would not originate from a sexual urge towards their partner.
> 
> (Keep in mind sexuality is a spectrum, and so some people in the middle of the spectrum (e.g. grey-asexual, demisexual) may be turned on by sexual attraction to their partner. But asexual people, on the end of the asexual spectrum, by definition would not).



yes. agreed, this is perfect I love how you explained it, it was very well said. (I'm grey-ace btw)


----------



## Hulaette

That Zephyr Guy said:


> And you've apparently had a fun trend to get offended at what other people get offended by.
> 
> 
> 
> He's doing it too. Right now.



I'm glad I'm not the only one who notices that.


----------



## KarlaKGB

bowie complaining that ppl are too sensitive and easily offended is the funniest thing ive read this week keep it up


----------



## Akira-chan

Tfw your catholic and are a part of the LGBTQA but most don't support it and your religion is bashed on repeatedly by others because of radicals who have the wrong idea.

(I cri)

- - - Post Merge - - -

(and by radicals I mean the people who bash others in the LGBTQA+)


----------



## TheCreeperHugz

Akira-chan said:


> Tfw your catholic and are a part of the LGBTQA but most don't support it and your religion is bashed on repeatedly by others because of radicals who have the wrong idea.
> 
> (I cri)
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> (and by radicals I mean the people who bash others in the LGBTQA+)



I go to a Catholic school/college and while mostly everyone is open minded and accepting to this sort of thing, there are still surprisingly few openly lgbt people here. I suspect there are quite a few that would be a lot more open if it wasn't for the reputation that chrisyians tend to have because of the select few who choose not to have an open mind. Its a shame when a few people with too extreme opinions can ruin the reputation of an entire group like that...


----------



## Akira-chan

TheCreeperHugz said:


> I go to a Catholic school/college and while mostly everyone is open minded and accepting to this sort of thing, there are still surprisingly few openly lgbt people here. I suspect there are quite a few that would be a lot more open if it wasn't for the reputation that chrisyians tend to have because of the select few who choose not to have an open mind. Its a shame when a few people with too extreme opinions can ruin the reputation of an entire group like that...



I know...Im scared to even say anything over the fear of getting bashed on. Altho a select few here do support it


----------



## windloft

i've always been so confused about my sexuality tbh, i definitely know i heavily prefer girls but i also prefer boys. i think i'm bisexual, but i lean towards girls more. mmm...


----------



## seliph

RUZA said:


> i've always been so confused about my sexuality tbh, i definitely know i heavily prefer girls but i also prefer boys. i think i'm bisexual, but i lean towards girls more. mmm...



It's 100% normal for bi and pan people to have preferences. They don't mean you have to like all genders the exact same amount


----------



## windloft

nvll said:


> It's 100% normal for bi and pan people to have preferences. They don't mean you have to like all genders the exact same amount



i know it is !! but i have a lot of, like, fictional crushes, and almost none of them are female. what's weird is that it's the opposite for ladies, whenever i watch shows or movies all of my attention is focused on the ladies and almost none on the men. i guess i just have weird tastes.

then again, said fictional men aren't human so... yeah. 

as for my sexual preferences... hmm. it's really hard to pinpoint my exact preference.


----------



## tae

RUZA said:


> i've always been so confused about my sexuality tbh, i definitely know i heavily prefer girls but i also prefer boys. i think i'm bisexual, but i lean towards girls more. mmm...



like nvll said, it's alright to like one gender more than the other. it doesn't make you any less valid as someone who could be bisexual or pansexual.


----------



## seliph

RUZA said:


> i know it is !! but i have a lot of, like, fictional crushes, and almost none of them are female. what's weird is that it's the opposite for ladies, whenever i watch shows or movies all of my attention is focused on the ladies and almost none on the men. i guess i just have weird tastes.
> 
> then again, said fictional men aren't human so... yeah.
> 
> as for my sexual preferences... hmm. it's really hard to pinpoint my exact preference.



It's okay most of my crushes are fictional cyborg men


----------



## oath2order

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/

I comment on that site.

where the **** do members of the community get off thinking that it's acceptable to misgender someone just because you don't like them


----------



## Bowie

oath2order said:


> http://www.lgbtqnation.com/
> 
> I comment on that site.
> 
> where the **** do members of the community get off thinking that it's acceptable to misgender someone just because you don't like them



Unfortunately, quite a lot of LGBT+ people like to degrade their own. It's ironic because we're all supposed to be together, trying to make the world a more loving and accepting place, and we turn on each other instead. It goes against everything we're striving for.


----------



## Jarrad

Bowie said:


> Unfortunately, quite a lot of LGBT+ people like to degrade their own. It's ironic because we're all supposed to be together, trying to make the world a more loving and accepting place, and we turn on each other instead. It goes against everything we're striving for.



I feel as though I'm one of few that fails to understand why "trans" is in the entire "LGBT" category, I mean being trans isn't a sexual preference, so why does it so frequently get categorised with sexual preference? Gender preference and sexual preference are two completely different things.


----------



## milkyi

I could never be able to come out as polyromantic  or genderfluid. The one time I said I was pan I got massive hate from my friends, (except for two) so I basically just laughed it off saying I was kidding. I also said that I just wanted to see their reactions. When they started to hate on me I just felt like I wanted to die. I probably won't ever get enough courage to say who I really am.


----------



## Jarrad

I don't know whether I'm gay or straight.. I can definitely admit that I feel a much stronger attraction towards males, but I do think I'm also attracted to women as well, just not as much.

I also think because of this I'm alienating myself from looking at women as potential partners. I know the easiest solution is to "try it out w/ a female" (when I say try I mean a relationship, not sex) but I don't want the leverage for being in a straight relationship to be solely because I want to experiment. I care about other people's times and feelings too much to mess them around.

thoughts..?


----------



## Hulaette

I think men are hot and I have seen some good looking nerdy guys. Not I have no desire to have sexual relations with any man. I know that I'm straight but as a 25 year old female why is it that I never had any desire to kiss a man or engage any sort of romance?


----------



## Jarrad

Geekaloompa said:


> I think men are hot and I have seen some good looking nerdy guys. Not I have no desire to have sexual relations with any man. I know that I'm straight but as a 25 year old female why is it that I never had any desire to kiss a man or engage any sort of romance?



Maybe you're asexual


----------



## milkyi

Jarrad said:


> I don't know whether I'm gay or straight.. I can definitely admit that I feel a much stronger attraction towards males, but I do think I'm also attracted to women as well, just not as much.
> 
> I also think because of this I'm alienating myself from looking at women as potential partners. I know the easiest solution is to "try it out w/ a female" (when I say try I mean a relationship, not sex) but I don't want the leverage for being in a straight relationship to be solely because I want to experiment. I care about other people's times and feelings too much to mess them around.
> 
> thoughts..?



if you feel attracted to men and women then I say you're probably bi. People can be 99% attracted to men and only 1% attracted to women and still be considered bi!


----------



## Jarrad

Cherrii said:


> if you feel attracted to men and women then I say you're probably bi. People can be 99% attracted to men and only 1% attracted to women and still be considered bi!



oops I was mean't to write gay or bisexual x.x


----------



## milkyi

Jarrad said:


> oops I was mean't to write gay or bisexual x.x



Then yeah, you probably still are bi.


----------



## boujee

Geekaloompa said:


> I think men are hot and I have seen some good looking nerdy guys. Not I have no desire to have sexual relations with any man. I know that I'm straight but as a 25 year old female why is it that I never had any desire to kiss a man or engage any sort of romance?




Cause you're a mermaid


----------



## Hulaette

Cherrii said:


> if you feel attracted to men and women then I say you're probably bi. People can be 99% attracted to men and only 1% attracted to women and still be considered bi!



I don't know if I am bi. On rare occasion if I see a picture of a female my age or in real life passing by I would think that their face is freaking gorgeous. But I would never think of touching them. Is it normal for a female to think another female is hot? At the same time I prefer geeky looking men and I would want to touch a man who I think it hot but not another female.


----------



## boujee

Cherrii said:


> I could never be able to come out as polyromantic  or genderfluid. The one time I said I was pan I got massive hate from my friends, (except for two) so I basically just laughed it off saying I was kidding. I also said that I just wanted to see their reactions. When they started to hate on me I just felt like I wanted to die. I probably won't ever get enough courage to say who I really am.


Well you said you only said it to see their reactions which means you weren't being true to yourself.  The only time I seen you do anything that was poly was you being in a relationship with a actual person and a fictional person(at the same time). I also seen you saying you had crushes with multiple people at your school(probably comparing this to what sugerella said before). My understanding is that you're are young and honestly don't know what the *** you're even talking about. If you couldn't have one relationship work how will you function with a multitude?


----------



## milkyi

Gamzee said:


> Well you said you only said it to see their reactions which means you weren't being true to yourself.  The only time I seen you do anything that was poly was you being in a relationship with a actual person and a fictional person(at the same time). I also seen you saying you had crushes with multiple people at your school(probably comparing this to what sugerella said before). My understanding is that you're are young and honestly don't know what the *** you're even talking about. If you couldn't have one relationship work how will you function with a multitude?



no no me saying i wanted to se their reactions was so they would think that I wasn't really, and I'm pretty sure I am.


----------



## boujee

Cherrii said:


> no no me saying i wanted to se their reactions was so they would think that I wasn't really, and I'm pretty sure I am.









lost me


----------



## milkyi

Gamzee said:


> lost me


sorry then


----------



## boujee

Cherrii said:


> sorry then




nononono you don't have to apologize(English isn't my first language) so I'm confuse in what you were trying to imply.


----------



## milkyi

Gamzee said:


> nononono you don't have to apologize(English isn't my first language) so I'm confuse in what you were trying to imply.



Oh, well then that's okay! What I meant was I had told my friends "I only wanted to see your reactions, 'cause I thought it would be funny." Not that I meant that was my opinion towards the whole thing.


----------



## Fantasyrick

Gamzee said:


> Cause you're a mermaid



I'm glad I wasnt the only one thinking this.


----------



## Jay363

mimichankun said:


> I'm  a gay male and I haven't been able to come out to anyone yet. This is like the only place im telling.



I feel that. I'm a panromantic demisexual and I'm in a great, loving relationship with another female but I'm finding it hard to get the words out. Kinda makes me feel crummy that I can't even get out the words about how happy I am with this person :/


----------



## boujee

lol the tag says Demi isn't real


----------



## visibleghost

what about not ****ting on other ppls sexualities lmao

anyways what's up w the drop the t thing that has been going on for some months, or i guess it was mostly like back in last year but w/E   LET's talk about it anyways   (this thing is part of it!!!!)
what do u all think about it lol. i think it's dumb af but yye


----------



## boujee

lencurryboy said:


> what about not ****ting on other ppls sexualities lmao
> 
> anyways what's up w the drop the t thing that has been going on for some months, or i guess it was mostly like back in last year but w/E   LET's talk about it anyways   (this thing is part of it!!!!)
> what do u all think about it lol. i think it's dumb af but yye



not sure if you're indirectly coming at me but just making sure 
seems like a troll petition that most likely won't come true, calm yourself


----------



## LovelyLavender

Hia there.


----------



## visibleghost

Gamzee said:


> not sure if you're indirectly coming at me but just making sure
> seems like a troll petition that most likely won't come true, calm yourself



nah just mean that the discussion about if demisexuality was real was a thing some pages back and i dont think it's a good idea to bring it back lmao

and no it's not a troll petition, it's an actual movement that ppl support :/


----------



## boujee

lencurryboy said:


> nah just mean that the discussion about if demisexuality was real was a thing some pages back and i dont think it's a good idea to bring it back lmao
> 
> and no it's not a troll petition, it's an actual movement that ppl support :/




That discussion was golden.
But what I mean is don't take it seriously. It is serious but it's a stupid idea to remove T in lgbt. Ignorance can't be moved forward.


----------



## Hai

Hai said:


> I'm bisexual and genderqueer. I told my best mates, my father and my sister and they're totally fine with it. I know that my mother wouldn't be, she's very homophobic when it comes to love between females. I won't tell her unless I have to, our relationship is strained as it is. She'll never forgive me that I moved to my father...
> My Facebook says that I like men and women, but it seems like nobody ever reads that :'D
> 
> Also, my boyfriend,  who formerly identified as genderfluid and bisexual, now identifies as trans. So he is apparently a she but hasn't started transitioning yet.
> I guess I'm fine with it (although I was kind of shocked at first, mostly because of my mother...), but she is afraid of what others may think. We told one of my best mates (who kind of became my girlfriend's best mate too) and my father and they're fine with it too.
> She didn't tell her parents though. Surprisingly, telling her catholic fraternity roommates won't be an issue, because they are fine with having a transwoman in their fraternity.
> My girlfriend suffers from depression and anxiety, which makes this somewhat more difficult, and hasn't had the courage to tell her doctor yet because she is afraid they might be transphobic etc.
> She is 18 now and told me that she should start taking hormones as soon as possible because it works better if one is younger.
> I'm kind of worried.
> Thoughts?



No one ever answered me *sniff*
And my boy/girlfriend still hasn't started taking hormones


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Hai said:


> No one ever answered me *sniff*
> And my boy/girlfriend still hasn't started taking hormones



There are plenty of people who started the hormone process fairly late (like in their 20s) and they still end up looking amazing. Do some research and look some stuff up about it and show it to your friend.


----------



## Hai

Gamzee said:


> That discussion was golden.
> But what I mean is don't take it seriously. It is serious but it's a stupid idea to remove T in lgbt. Ignorance can't be moved forward.



Why shouldn't demisexuality be a thing? And what is the connection to removing the T in LGBT?

- - - Post Merge - - -



That Zephyr Guy said:


> There are plenty of people who started the hormone process fairly late (like in their 20s) and they still end up looking amazing. Do some research and look some stuff up about it and show it to your friend.



It's not like we didn't do our research.
She just didn't do anything yet despite wanting to and because of angst and stuff.
I guess I'm just worried ._.
Thanks for the input though.


----------



## boujee

Hai said:


> Why shouldn't demisexuality be a thing? And what has it to do with removing the T in LGBT?
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's not like we didn't do our research.
> She just didn't do anything yet despite wanting to and because of angst and stuff.
> I guess I'm just worried ._.



It's a long discussion and I honestly don't feel like opening some closed wounds. 
But basically the concept of demisexuaity is sorta like what everyone is doing. Not wanting to do anything sexual till you form a close bond with someone sounds like a normal thing(basically a trait and not as much as a sexuality). It's like the concept of sapiosexiality, having a attraction with smart people is more of a trait than a sexuality. It's not as serious as asexuality.


----------



## Brackets

Gamzee said:


> It's a long discussion and I honestly don't feel like opening some closed wounds.
> But basically the concept of demisexuaity is sorta like what everyone is doing. Not wanting to do anything sexual till you form a close bond with someone sounds like a normal thing(basically a trait and not as much as a sexuality). It's like the concept of sapiosexiality, having a attraction with smart people is more of a trait than a sexuality. It's not as serious as asexuality.



That's what I've always thought about those ones. Like surely everyone is demisexual to an extent? and sapiosexual is a preference in what you like in a person. They seem like unnecessary labels


----------



## Trundle

mimichankun said:


> Actually I just found out that I'm a lesbian girl



Wow! You must have quite an exciting life where you change gender AND sexuality over a day.


----------



## Alienfish

Brackets said:


> Like surely everyone is demisexual to an extent?



You don't really have to be, it can differ. And some require less trust or just do it, I assume it just have to do with your level of confidence.


----------



## 00jachna

I just found out im a *genderfluid-genderqueer-demisexual-foxkin-asexual-gay- attack helicopter*

It's really hard for me atm to keep all my feelings intact </333

society won't accept me for who i am ((

idk I might change tomorrow


----------



## Brackets

00jachna said:


> I just found out im a *genderfluid-genderqueer-demisexual-foxkin-asexual-gay- attack helicopter*
> 
> It's really hard for me atm to keep all my feelings intact </333
> 
> society won't accept me for who i am ((
> 
> idk I might change tomorrow



wow what an original joke


----------



## 00jachna

Brackets said:


> wow what an original joke



ikr

im so damn funny i cant even


----------



## Nightmares

Hey, just wondering, what does the 'Q' stand for? :O


----------



## boujee

Nightmares said:


> Hey, just wondering, what does the 'Q' stand for? :O




Questioning


----------



## Nightmares

Gamzee said:


> Questioning



Ohh wow really, I didn't expect that for some reason 

Thanks!


----------



## Chris

Keep it serious guys. Take your silliness somewhere else. This is a support thread. 

Q can also stand for queer as well as questioning, but that can be offensive to some people. As far as I can tell it's a generation/location preference, as tbh I never knew anyone offended by it before this thread. And it was someone 10 years my junior who told me that there was a big thing about it.


----------



## Bowie

So, I just recently found out that someone very close to me knows that I'm gay, and has known for years now, but has continued to say nasty things about gay people in front of me regardless of knowing that. Anyone ever been in a similar situation?


----------



## visibleghost

i have personally never liked the word queer but that's personal preference i guess. to me it has always been a slur and i wouldn't call myself that. i know many people who do like that word though, and i respect their identity as queer. i would personally not identify as queer though.

that's why i usually add a + (and write hbtq+) instead of just leaving it at q because to me + is more inclusive than queer but yeah :<

also i've never heard that q stands for questioning before but yah


----------



## Hai

Bowie said:


> So, I just recently found out that someone very close to me knows that I'm gay, and has known for years now, but has continued to say nasty things about gay people in front of me regardless of knowing that. Anyone ever been in a similar situation?



Wow that sucks D: 
I'm sorry someone did that to you.
Personally, I never was in a situation like that. My mother would totally do that though if she knew I was attracted to girls.
Coming to think of it, she likes to "accuse" me of being gay and then proceeds to insult lesbians... 
Okay, maybe that counts as a similar situation ^^"


----------



## Bowie

Hai said:


> Wow that sucks D:
> I'm sorry someone did that to you.
> Personally, I never was in a situation like that. My mother would totally do that though if she knew I was attracted to girls.
> Coming to think of it, she likes to "accuse" me of being gay and then proceeds to insult lesbians...
> Okay, maybe that counts as a similar situation ^^"



I didn't wanna say it, but that "someone very close to me" just happens to be a close relative of mine. I'm sorry your mother would be that harsh.


----------



## boujee

So is aromatic the same as demisexual? Not falling in love with every single person you meet?


----------



## oath2order

lencurryboy said:


> i have personally never liked the word queer but that's personal preference i guess. to me it has always been a slur and i wouldn't call myself that. i know many people who do like that word though, and i respect their identity as queer. i would personally not identify as queer though.
> 
> that's why i usually add a + (and write hbtq+) instead of just leaving it at q because to me + is more inclusive than queer but yeah :<
> 
> also i've never heard that q stands for questioning before but yah



whats an h


----------



## That Zephyr Guy

Gamzee said:


> So is aromatic the same as demisexual? Not falling in love with every single person you meet?



Naw

Romantic and Sexual attraction are two separate things

Someone you're romantically attracted to is someone you'd date.

Someone you're sexually attracted to is someone you'd bang.


----------



## boujee

That Zephyr Guy said:


> Naw
> 
> Romantic and Sexual attraction are two separate things
> 
> Someone you're romantically attracted to is someone you'd date.
> 
> Someone you're sexually attracted to is someone you'd bang.


I know. I'm saying is it the same conception though.


----------



## Hai

Gamzee said:


> I know. I'm saying is it the same conception though.



Nah, to be aromantic means that you don't fall in love with anyone. It's like being asexual just with romantic relationships and romantic attraction instead of sexual attraction.


----------



## visibleghost

oath2order said:


> whats an h



h as in homosexual/homoromantic. idk but i never understood why it's lg when u could just write h??


----------



## cornimer

Gamzee said:


> So is aromatic the same as demisexual? Not falling in love with every single person you meet?



Yes, as Hai said, aromantic means you are basically incapable of feeling romantic attraction, just like asexuals are incapable of feeling sexual attraction.


----------



## visibleghost

demi and aro isnt the same thing if thats what youre asking..???


----------



## oath2order

lencurryboy said:


> h as in homosexual/homoromantic. idk but i never understood why it's lg when u could just write h??



oh i thought you did a typo


----------



## radical6

http://gookgirl.tumblr.com/post/141608284523/nus-tells-lgbt-societies-to-abolish-gay-mens-reps 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY **** ****ING TUMBLR DISCOURSE oh my ****ing GOD how stupid is the NUS 

gay men are all white cis guys apparently

- - - Post Merge - - -



lencurryboy said:


> h as in homosexual/homoromantic. idk but i never understood why it's lg when u could just write h??



because homosexual used to be a medical term and many gay people are uncomfortable with it


----------



## visibleghost

justice said:


> because homosexual used to be a medical term and many gay people are uncomfortable with it



oh i never knew that :I in sweden it's always written as hbtq and since it works in english too i thought it wasnt a big deal. guess i get it then ^^


----------



## oath2order

justice said:


> http://gookgirl.tumblr.com/post/141608284523/nus-tells-lgbt-societies-to-abolish-gay-mens-reps
> 
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY **** ****ING TUMBLR DISCOURSE oh my ****ing GOD how stupid is the NUS
> 
> gay men are all white cis guys apparently
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> 
> 
> because homosexual used to be a medical term and many gay people are uncomfortable with it




Well I can see why people would think all gay men are cis white guys since they're the ones the media seems to pay the most attention to.

Isn't gook a slur?



lencurryboy said:


> oh i never knew that :I in sweden it's always written as hbtq and since it works in english too i thought it wasnt a big deal. guess i get it then ^^



Yeah, homosexuality was a mental illness in USA up until 1973 and the WHO in the 1990s.


----------



## radical6

oath2order said:


> Well I can see why people would think all gay men are cis white guys since they're the ones the media seems to pay the most attention to.
> 
> Isn't gook a slur?



yeah but their logic doesnt make sense, if theres too many white cis gay guys, fine. then add a black gay guy. add a trans one. its just homophobia, and its ironic theyre crying about how white cis gays have too much representation when almost all of the board members are white themselves lmao
thats my blog, im vietnamese, so im mostly just describing myself


----------



## Ghost Soda

any non-binarys up in hereeeee?


----------



## f11

I'd say im nb but i don't really know, gender confuses me.


----------



## radical6

Crys said:


> I'd say im nb but i don't really know, gender confuses me.



Gender isnt real its fake


----------



## visibleghost

^ honestly kinda tru

gender is majorly messed up and i seriously believe the way that gender is in society today needs to jst go away and then we can get another view of it. but idk lmao.


----------



## Fleshy

lol


----------



## Bowie

So, today, I seen this:



Spoiler












Yep, a skirt. A floral one, which would go really well with a floral shirt I like to wear routinely throughout the nice weather we've been getting over here now, and I seen this randomly on the Internet, and a very unusual thought crossed my mind all of a sudden: "I'd like to wear that."

I've thought about cross-dressing for a long while, but now, as I grow up, I guess I just see more and more things like that that appeal to me, but then those thoughts go to the side and I remember, I'm a guy, and I'm surrounded by people who wouldn't let me go out with something like that.

Not really asking for any advice; just thought I'd share my little "thought" today. But isn't it a nice skirt?


----------



## visibleghost

it's a v nice skirt

another thiing
cross dressing isnt real bc clothes dont actually have a gender. ppl who judge others for qearing clothes they dont think fit them bc of their gender are sucky, but i understand if you dont want to wear a skirt because of those kinds of ppl.


----------



## Fleshy

Bowie said:


> But isn't it a nice skirt?



It is a really nice skirt, it looks like something my friend would wear. It really sucks that you want to wear the skirt but feel like you can't because of judgement and things, I bet it'd look great too. Hopefully one day people will be able to wear whatever they want, regardless of gender, without judgement.


----------



## radical6

too bad i cant wear this to pride tomorrow but





i am ****ing wearing this next year 100% to pride. need gay eli to match me, lgbt lvoe live fans in seattle pls apply for next yr. thx.


----------



## Gregriii

if it has rainbows it must be lgbt right


----------



## radical6

Gregriii said:


> if it has rainbows it must be lgbt right



considering her matching card is this

and theyre both very affectionate to each other in the anime, to the point she literally calls her sexy and beautiful and says she doesnt know where she would be without her
and it came out this week during pride

yeah id consider it a nod to the lgbt community, but continue being a edgy ******* who doesnt know all their facts and jumps to the conclusion as you always do


----------



## Gregriii

kallie said:


> considering her matching card is this
> View attachment 176040
> and theyre both very affectionate to each other in the anime, to the point she literally calls her sexy and beautiful and says she doesnt know where she would be without her
> and it came out this week during pride
> 
> yeah id consider it a nod to the lgbt community, but continue being a edgy ******* who doesnt know all their facts and jumps to the conclusion as you always do



heyyy nerf your accusations


----------



## visibleghost

eli and nozomi are 100% gay jsyk


----------



## Ghost Soda

Boy howdy, sometimes I wish the whole system of gendered clothing would just, like, die.

So how's everybody doing?


----------



## Bowie

I couldn't find this thread for ages. Thought that it had been deleted or something.

Lady Gaga has found The Cure to heterosexuality. Things are good.


----------



## Nightmares

guYS 
I don't know if I'd just **** a girl or if I actually like girls LMFAO help me


----------



## easpa

Came out to a friend from school on Friday night which felt pretty good. We were out at a club and I'm fairly sure I brought it up between us lip syncing the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody and having a drunken DMC about musical theatre so I guess it fit right in with the theme of the night


----------



## AnimalCrossingPerson

Apple2013 said:


> man am I like
> the only straight guy here or what



Nope.  



Jake said:


> I'm adoptive trans because male bathroom are disgusting. So when I go out I use the females, and then when they like 'y u in here' i like 'o am transgender' they liek 'o'



Amazing.


----------



## seliph

Nightmares said:


> guYS
> I don't know if I'd just **** a girl or if I actually like girls LMFAO help me



You're still young, you'll figure it out. We can't tell you your own interests.



Jake said:


> I'm adoptive trans because male bathroom are disgusting. So when I go out I use the females, and then when they like 'y u in here' i like 'o am transgender' they liek 'o'



Wow that sure is a post I wish I never saw ever


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Wow, this thread is still alive? I remember this one.


----------



## visibleghost

im Really Sick of cishets can they stop being like That* plz and thx
*lol inb4 claims of cis- and heterophobia but i hate cishet "culture" or whatever tf to call it Every Time they mention gender i want to jump off a cliff lol. im Especially Sick of cishet girls and their gay bff things, how they think theyre being Great Allies when theyre just being weirdly in love w gay men but lesbians r Th Worst and obviously someone who doesnt 100% conform ti gender norms is gay bc What Tf Is Trans and gdosh i am so !!!! sick !! of !! yall !!!


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

I'm pansexual, in a hetero relationship, but I call myself gay like ALL the time. I use it like an umbrella term like queer and people don't understand, I just like the word gay better than the word queer. So I'm like "Omg I'm so gay!" and people are like, "Uhm, you have a boyfriend." and I just like -_-


----------



## Chris

Finally came out to my family when my parents directly asked me last week. They didn't react at all. I didn't expect them to really. I knew they'd be cool with it. As my college's LGBT rep and the amount of gay and trans media (prose and film) I've produced, I was certain they already knew anyway.


----------



## seliph

KaydeeKrunk said:


> I'm pansexual, in a hetero relationship, but I call myself gay like ALL the time. I use it like an umbrella term like queer and people don't understand, I just like the word gay better than the word queer. So I'm like "Omg I'm so gay!" and people are like, "Uhm, you have a boyfriend." and I just like -_-



I'm gay and I'd much rather you call yourself gay than call yourself a word that is a slur, and is still the cause of trauma in so many of our lives.


----------



## oliversacnl

I agree with you, gyro. 

Hello everybody! My name is Oliver and I am transgender. I'm polysexual, but since that takes too long to explain, I'm pretty much just gay. I like men and some types of non-binary people, so there. 

I'm really proud of who I am! Any other trans folks here???


----------



## visibleghost

oliversacnl said:


> I agree with you, gyro.
> 
> Hello everybody! My name is Oliver and I am transgender. I'm polysexual, but since that takes too long to explain, I'm pretty much just gay. I like men and some types of non-binary people, so there.
> 
> I'm really proud of who I am! Any other trans folks here???



lol im also trans and my name is oliver too High Five

but on the queer is a slur thing , do you all feel like it is a bad word or w/e like., idk i feel like queer has been reclaimed a lot and i get if people dont like calling themselves that (like i dont personally call myself queer bc i prefer Other Terms) but do u feel offended or hurt when you hear it beeing used?? offended/hurt arent the words i want to use but idk what else to call it so idk. 
like, when people say stuff like tranny, transvestite and transsexual i feel really weird about it, like it is kinda like someone called their mom a ***** (edit: i forgot about censoring but Female Dog) all casually out of nowhere ?? it's weird and offensive and doesnt feel ok.  and idk if thats how u all feel about queer but, like, to me it feels like queer is a reclaimed word and i get that not every1 thinks that but like idk.  

also i guess it might be different for me because im swedish and in sweden lgbt is always called hbtq unless youre Really Bad. people who exclude the q and just say hbt are conservative, old, uninformed, cishets who use outdated homophobic and transphobic words, like, theyre the ones who say stuff like "being A Homosexual is the opposite of being Heterosexual (which is the NORMAL sexuality) and bisexual is half heterosexual and half homosexual. also transsexuals want to be The Opposite gender, think men in dresses lol". like it is super weird to exclude the Q here so maybe thats why im more ok w the word idk ?????


----------



## seliph

visibleghost said:


> lol im also trans and my name is oliver too High Five
> 
> but on the queer is a slur thing , do you all feel like it is a bad word or w/e like., idk i feel like queer has been reclaimed a lot and i get if people dont like calling themselves that (like i dont personally call myself queer bc i prefer Other Terms) but do u feel offended or hurt when you hear it beeing used?? offended/hurt arent the words i want to use but idk what else to call it so idk.
> like, when people say stuff like tranny, transvestite and transsexual i feel really weird about it, like it is kinda like someone called their mom a ***** (edit: i forgot about censoring but Female Dog) all casually out of nowhere ?? it's weird and offensive and doesnt feel ok.  and idk if thats how u all feel about queer but, like, to me it feels like queer is a reclaimed word and i get that not every1 thinks that but like idk.
> 
> also i guess it might be different for me because im swedish and in sweden lgbt is always called hbtq unless youre Really Bad. people who exclude the q and just say hbt are conservative, old, uninformed, cishets who use outdated homophobic and transphobic words, like, theyre the ones who say stuff like "being A Homosexual is the opposite of being Heterosexual (which is the NORMAL sexuality) and bisexual is half heterosexual and half homosexual. also transsexuals want to be The Opposite gender, think men in dresses lol". like it is super weird to exclude the Q here so maybe thats why im more ok w the word idk ?????



For me it's on the same level as the F slur towards gay men.

As for it being reclaimed, the thing about qu**r is since it's still offensive to a lot of it, it can only be reclaimed personally. If someone wants to use it when referring to themselves, fine (granted I think it's stupid but w/e) but it shouldn't be used as an umbrella term for LGBT people when so many people are discomforted by it.

Another thing is, the word is supposed to mean "strange", "odd", "weird"... and I think it's a disgusting thing to want to call us. I'm not weird for being gay. My gayness is not strange or odd or unusual. Neither is anyone else's LGBT identity. Not to mention because of this definition, cishet kinksters are using this word to define themselves just because they wanna be whipped or whatever.

Obviously I don't know Swedish or what anything's like in Sweden so I can't speak for you guys, but for us in the Americas it really shouldn't be used and I'm really tired of it.


----------



## visibleghost

gyro: ah alrighty. i guess that since it is an english word that was added to the swedish vocabulary by the lgbt community it has never been a slur here so it is much less offensive than in other places i guess.
also in HBTQ the h stands for homosexual which isnt rly ok to use in english (and gay ppl here dont use it that much either, most people i know say gay in english, lesbian or homo but it is still a word that is used by the community) so that's different here too

but translating lgbt directly to swedish would be Bad because the literal translation for "gay" is "b?g" but that word is more of a synonym to the f slur but we literally don't have any other words for it so the H has stayed. 
("b?g" is Widely used as a slur and i think it and "lebb" (i would translate this to d*ke) are the two most used anti gay slurs here, way more than homosexual even though that was the name of the Illness way back we don't have any other great mainstream alternatives altho i think the gay community is starting to use a lot more english terms now.) 

idk im kinda rambling but what im trying to say is that i get what u mean w/ how the word has a different history and meaning in different places.


----------



## MokaAkashiya

I'm transgender and I have a blog on how my transition is going along here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxmokamokaxx


----------



## tumut

I hate the word queer

 It literally means strange what the **** lmao why would people choose to reclaim that of all things????


----------



## oliversacnl

Visibleghost, there are so many trans guys named Oliver. On Twitter, I was once in a groupchat with 22 or so. And that's not even counting the guys who left the groupchat. 

22 trans guys. All named Oliver. 

It was rather overwhelming.


----------



## visibleghost

oliversacnl said:


> Visibleghost, there are so many trans guys named Oliver. On Twitter, I was once in a groupchat with 22 or so. And that's not even counting the guys who left the groupchat.
> 
> 22 trans guys. All named Oliver.
> 
> It was rather overwhelming.



what . .oh no that sounds confusing. ive only met a few other trans ppl who are called oliver but it's a kinda common name for parents to name babies so i guess it's not weird that many trans ppl choose it too.
 in my experience names like alex, all those aiden/aidan/jayden/etc., ka, noahi and everything that can be shortened to josh, jay or jake are the rly common ones. i knew So Many trans ppl called alex a few years ago lol. when i was choosing a name i liked some names but then i saw a billion trans ppl w it and i was like Nah Id Rather Not be alex #35 in a small group of trans ppl lmao


----------



## Gregriii

idk if this is related with this thread but I just noticed that cishet means cis hetero and not cis **** and i'm actually shook because now everything makes sense


----------



## cIementine

Gregriii said:


> idk if this is related with this thread but I just noticed that cishet means cis hetero and not cis **** and i'm actually shook because now everything makes sense



i honestly didn't know that and now im shook too


----------



## Pinkbell

I'm 23, never dated seriously serious. I've been almost raP edin the past and saw my mother abused. For long time I've never felt like doing it was even "cool" or "fun" I find anything besides just looking gross and odd. I want a child but in my heart  I get this feeling that I'm asexual, I've been in "love" so to speak with a childhood friend, but this point in my life i'm so confused. Any tips on living in a small town with people who all do it all the time X_ X or maybe its just me?


----------



## seliph

Pinkbell said:


> I'm 23, never dated seriously serious. I've been almost raP edin the past and saw my mother abused. For long time I've never felt like doing it was even "cool" or "fun" I find anything besides just looking gross and odd. I want a child but in my heart  I get this feeling that I'm asexual, I've been in "love" so to speak with a childhood friend, but this point in my life i'm so confused. Any tips on living in a small town with people who all do it all the time X_ X or maybe its just me?



I don't really know what you're asking in the first place but

Being asexual just means you don't feel sexually attracted to people. Some ace people are sex repulsed, some aren't, some want to have sex still, some don't. Some aces are also aromantic but the two don't necessarily come hand in hand.

All I know for sure is you don't have to do the woohoo with anyone if you don't want to.


----------



## Corrie

Pinkbell said:


> I'm 23, never dated seriously serious. I've been almost raP edin the past and saw my mother abused. For long time I've never felt like doing it was even "cool" or "fun" I find anything besides just looking gross and odd. I want a child but in my heart  I get this feeling that I'm asexual, I've been in "love" so to speak with a childhood friend, but this point in my life i'm so confused. Any tips on living in a small town with people who all do it all the time X_ X or maybe its just me?



Is it maybe possible that you have a negative view on sex due to what you have seen and experienced? 

For me, I have an extremely negative view on it and really don't like doing it because I feel used by my partner, even though they actually aren't using me. I feel this way due to my past experiences with people just trying to use me in that way.


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

gyro said:


> I'm gay and I'd much rather you call yourself gay than call yourself a word that is a slur, and is still the cause of trauma in so many of our lives.



I have friends who are gay, and bisexual, and pansexual, who refer to themselves as queer as well. But I understand how people still use it as a slur can make it a trigger to some. Partly why I prefer gay as well.


----------



## Jake

Please don't ask users what their censored word was, thanks.


----------



## visibleghost

Gregriii said:


> idk if this is related with this thread but I just noticed that cishet means cis hetero and not cis **** and i'm actually shook because now everything makes sense


lol wtf is that why people think it is a Slur™


----------



## Mayor_Rhena001

I used to be Bi, but I recently found out I'm Pan. 

The only thing I hate about telling people is that they say it doesn't exist as a real preference, and every time I tell them 'well I have no real care for what people have down under and Bi/Gay still deals with what they prefer down under...so what would you refer to me as then?'. Unsurprisingly, those people still believe I'm Bi to this day and it's annoying but I've basically given up on it now. And I've heard every joke in the book about being Pan, from doing it with literal kitchen utensils to being a furry (seriously wtf those are two completely different things how did you connect the two in your mind?). The best I can do is just laugh and try to educate those who have no clue on what being Pan actually means. And I really don't tell people I'm Pan, it's really not my place unless they ask about it.


----------



## Ghost Soda

About the Q slur thing, I personally prefer to use "gay" as an umbrella term when I don't wanna use agender or pan for myself, and while I don't mind other LGBT+/MOGAI people calling me that word, I can understand why other people don't like being called that and don't think anyone should call someone that unless they know they're cool with it.


----------



## Dogemon

Mayor_Rhena001 said:


> I used to be Bi, but I recently found out I'm Pan.
> 
> The only thing I hate about telling people is that they say it doesn't exist as a real preference, and every time I tell them 'well I have no real care for what people have down under and Bi/Gay still deals with what they prefer down under...so what would you refer to me as then?'. Unsurprisingly, those people still believe I'm Bi to this day and it's annoying but I've basically given up on it now. And I've heard every joke in the book about being Pan, from doing it with literal kitchen utensils to being a furry (seriously wtf those are two completely different things how did you connect the two in your mind?). The best I can do is just laugh and try to educate those who have no clue on what being Pan actually means. And I really don't tell people I'm Pan, it's really not my place unless they ask about it.



Sorry you have to go through that. I'm also Pan as well as polygamous and though people try to be nice about how they say it, they often basically imply that I just don't know what I want or that I just can't commit to anyone lol. People who can't understand that Pansexuality is real probably aren't worth talking to about your preferences anyways.


----------



## Corrie

Dogemon said:


> Sorry you have to go through that. I'm also Pan as well as polygamous and though people try to be nice about how they say it, they often basically imply that I just don't know what I want or that I just can't commit to anyone lol. People who can't understand that Pansexuality is real probably aren't worth talking to about your preferences anyways.



Pan/bi people get that comment a lot and it doesn't make any sense. We just like more than one gender. It isn't our fault and doesn't make us unable to "pick one" or whatever it is people say.


----------



## faelien

Yoooo my name's Bec and I'm nonbinary & pan which makes me feel weird sometimes cuz I always gotta explain what pan means and also how I'm /really/ nonbinary yes. It's tedious and makes me feel...not great? So I use the q word to describe me, or I just say I'm gay and like kind of cover my id with all encompassing ids, you know? 

Anyway hope y'all are having a nice day/night, I just kind of butted into the forum sorry about that.


----------



## oliversacnl

Hi, Bec! It feels weird saying that since my best friend is also non-binary and is also named Bec. Seems to be a somewhat popular name among trans people. 

But hey, I'm not exactly one to talk. My name's Oliver.


----------



## Pinkbell

Corrie said:


> Is it maybe possible that you have a negative view on sex due to what you have seen and experienced?
> 
> For me, I have an extremely negative view on it and really don't like doing it because I feel used by my partner, even though they actually aren't using me. I feel this way due to my past experiences with people just trying to use me in that way.



I've consider this yes as why. I guess As time goes I'll figure it out more?(I'm in therapy)


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Mayor_Rhena001 said:


> I used to be Bi, but I recently found out I'm Pan.
> 
> The only thing I hate about telling people is that they say it doesn't exist as a real preference, and every time I tell them 'well I have no real care for what people have down under and Bi/Gay still deals with what they prefer down under...so what would you refer to me as then?'. Unsurprisingly, those people still believe I'm Bi to this day and it's annoying but I've basically given up on it now. And I've heard every joke in the book about being Pan, from doing it with literal kitchen utensils to being a furry (seriously wtf those are two completely different things how did you connect the two in your mind?). The best I can do is just laugh and try to educate those who have no clue on what being Pan actually means. And I really don't tell people I'm Pan, it's really not my place unless they ask about it.



ME. I knew I wasn't straight and considered myself bi most of my life, but that was mostly because I just hadn't met any non-cis folks, then I met this amazing gender fluid person and they were like so beautiful, I had a hardcore crush on them and I had to figure out (through the power of the internet) what that meant I was. I like any and all genders so I figured out I was pan-sexual so I mean unless it's somewhere on the internet where I usually just tell people I'm bi, unless I feel like explaining it to them. Like how I tell people I'm vegetarian because I don't want to explain to them what pescatarian is.


----------



## toonafeesh

Pinkbell said:


> I'm 23, never dated seriously serious. I've been almost raP edin the past and saw my mother abused. For long time I've never felt like doing it was even "cool" or "fun" I find anything besides just looking gross and odd. I want a child but in my heart  I get this feeling that I'm asexual, I've been in "love" so to speak with a childhood friend, but this point in my life i'm so confused. Any tips on living in a small town with people who all do it all the time X_ X or maybe its just me?


You can be asexual but still want to be in a romantic relationship. Having a romantic relationship is different from wanting to do the do. But like someone else said, yeah you might've been affected negatively from your past experiences (I'm really sorry to hear about that!) 

Best to just let do what other people want, but if it's not your thing they don't have the right to pressure you into anything.

I consider myself aromantic/asexual, but I'm still pretty confused myself  I can't tell the difference between 'aesthetic' attraction and sexual attraction anymore since I've been going by a very black and white definition for sexual attraction.


----------



## Chris

KaydeeKrunk said:


> I like any and all genders so I figured out I was pan-sexual so I mean unless it's somewhere on the internet where *I usually just tell people I'm bi, unless I feel like explaining it to them*. Like how I tell people I'm vegetarian because I don't want to explain to them what pescatarian is.



Same. It's easier than answering questions. Plus I just don't care to argue whether there's really a difference between bi and pan with people who believe bi automatically covers trans/agender/third gender/etc.

I was pescatarian in my teens so I can relate to that last bit too.


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Tina said:


> Same. It's easier than answering questions. Plus I just don't care to argue whether there's really a difference between bi and pan with people who believe bi automatically covers trans/agender/third gender/etc.
> 
> I was pescatarian in my teens so I can relate to that last bit too.



Basically. I mean, if it's someone I care explaining it to I will, but generally the people who ask are the stiff people who don't really understand anything but black and white so I'd rather not sit there and pull out the whiteboard to map out human sexuality for them. And yeah it's fun when I do talk about being pescatarian because then I go even deeper to saying I'm an Ovo-Lacto-pescatarian and really confuse people. Good times.


----------



## seliph

Most bi people I know define bisexuality as "attraction to same & other genders" so being bi =/= not dating trans/nb people.

Also trans isn't another gender since trans people are just men & women so being bi definitely doesn't always exclude attraction to trans people.


----------



## Corrie

gyro said:


> Most bi people I know define bisexuality as "attraction to same & other genders" so being bi =/= not dating trans/nb people.
> 
> Also trans isn't another gender since trans people are just men & women so being bi definitely doesn't always exclude attraction to trans people.



I can confirm. I'm bi and I have had a crush on a trans male.


----------



## seliph

Corrie said:


> I can confirm. I'm bi and I have had a crush on a trans male.



I think it's just that some bi people _do_ exclude trans/nb people (which is... bizarre to me?) so others went "yeah im not identifying with these guys" which is understandable BUT I do know a fair amount of bi people who _really_ don't like when people assume they only like cis men and cis women so, yeah


----------



## pawpatrolbab

I'm Nate, I'm a not cis guy, gay, and I love my husband


----------



## Corrie

gyro said:


> I think it's just that some bi people _do_ exclude trans/nb people (which is... bizarre to me?) so others went "yeah im not identifying with these guys" which is understandable BUT I do know a fair amount of bi people who _really_ don't like when people assume they only like cis men and cis women so, yeah



If they do include them, wouldn't that then make them pan?


----------



## seliph

Corrie said:


> If they do include them, wouldn't that then make them pan?



Nah. When bisexuality is "attraction to same and other genders", which has been the accepted definition of bisexuality by bisexual people for decades, then they don't have to identify as pan. The definition I usually see used by pansexual people to define themselves is "attraction regardless of gender" or "attraction to all genders". If someone wants to switch over then that's all dandy but bisexuality is not some downgrade of pansexuality. Their main differences are 1. their communities 2. gender can have a part in bi peoples' attraction whereas most pan people just don't care.

It really all comes down to what people prefer to label themselves as.


----------



## Charcolor

gyro said:


> Nah. When bisexuality is "attraction to same and other genders", which has been the accepted definition of bisexuality by bisexual people for decades, then they don't have to identify as pan. The definition I usually see used by pansexual people to define themselves is "attraction regardless of gender" or "attraction to all genders". If someone wants to switch over then that's all dandy but bisexuality is not some downgrade of pansexuality. Their main differences are 1. their communities 2. gender can have a part in bi peoples' attraction whereas most pan people just don't care.
> 
> It really all comes down to what people prefer to label themselves as.



also attraction to multiple but not all genders can also be labeled as polysexuality. i choose to identify as bisexual because a) i've had that label for a while and i'm attached to it and b) more people are familiar with it.
being bisexual doesn't limit you to the gender binary. for example, i'm sexually attracted to men and women, but also enbies (non-binary people) who lean towards those ends. meaning i probably wouldn't be sexually attracted to an agender or otherwise gender-neutral person. i don't know if that makes sense though...


----------



## seliph

Charcolor said:


> also attraction to multiple but not all genders can also be labeled as polysexuality.



I thought about that although from what I know "polysexual" is also being used by people who are open to dating multiple people at once as well, so I wasn't sure if bi/pan people still used it to refer to themselves unless they fit that bell too


----------



## Charcolor

gyro said:


> I thought about that although from what I know "polysexual" is also being used by people who are open to dating multiple people at once as well, so I wasn't sure if bi/pan people still used it to refer to themselves unless they fit that bell too



no, you're thinking of "polyamorous." there's different views on whether or not it's an lgbt identity. i'm polyamorous myself, but it doesn't have anything to do with my orientation.


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

I'm straight but I would date a trans man as long as they were honest with me from the start and have a personality that I love <3

EDIT: I don't think that makes me bi, I think that still qualifies as straight?


----------



## seliph

Charcolor said:


> no, you're thinking of "polyamorous." there's different views on whether or not it's an lgbt identity. i'm polyamorous myself, but it doesn't have anything to do with my orientation.



OH yeah you're right

I personally don't think it is. You can be LGBT and poly sure but if you're cis, straight, and poly I don't see how that makes you automatically LGBT.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Arize said:


> I'm straight but I would date a trans man as long as they were honest with me from the start and have a personality that I love <3
> 
> EDIT: I don't think that makes me bi, I think that still qualifies as straight?



A trans man is still a man. You're straight.


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

gyro said:


> A trans man is still a man. You're straight.



That's exactly what I thought.


----------



## faelien

oliversacnl said:


> Hi, Bec! It feels weird saying that since my best friend is also non-binary and is also named Bec. Seems to be a somewhat popular name among trans people.
> 
> But hey, I'm not exactly one to talk. My name's Oliver.



Hey Oliver! I've actually known a few Olivers lmao. and nice, yeah Bec seems to be pretty common when I bounce around online, it's a little weird but not really. 

I always feel like that same hat meme comic when I see someone with the same name online.


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

gyro said:


> It really all comes down to what people prefer to label themselves as.


This^^^^^^^ I define myself as pan, but if someone is bi and likes their own and all other genders but wants to be called bi, call them that. And when I define myself as pan don't call me bi. It's all preference, just respect people's preferred terms for everything, sexuality, gender, just I mean, just call someone what they want to be called, easy peasy.


----------



## Bowie

Started wearing necklaces again recently. Got nothing but compliments from it, which is nice. Being around people who constantly belittle you for any traces of femininity make small things like wearing necklaces or wearing a bit of make-up feel like a huge step forward.

Being gay is hard enough for my parents without anything else. They can't even call it gay, they just call me fruity, and my mother only ever acknowledges it if she's joking about something in the same breath. I think the worst thing is that she's 100% in-the-know about me being gay, but still makes awful gay jokes and talks about how much she hates weak men. It's almost like she's trying to tell me indirectly that she disapproves.

I don't know. Just needed to vent a little there.


----------



## seliph

Bowie said:


> Started wearing necklaces again recently. Got nothing but compliments from it, which is nice. Being around people who constantly belittle you for any traces of femininity make small things like wearing necklaces or wearing a bit of make-up feel like a huge step forward.
> 
> Being gay is hard enough for my parents without anything else. They can't even call it gay, they just call me fruity, and my mother only ever acknowledges it if she's joking about something in the same breath. I think the worst thing is that she's 100% in-the-know about me being gay, but still makes awful gay jokes and talks about how much she hates weak men. It's almost like she's trying to tell me indirectly that she disapproves.
> 
> I don't know. Just needed to vent a little there.



_Necklaces_ are a gendered thing there? wtf


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

Bowie said:


> Started wearing necklaces again recently. Got nothing but compliments from it, which is nice. Being around people who constantly belittle you for any traces of femininity make small things like wearing necklaces or wearing a bit of make-up feel like a huge step forward.
> 
> Being gay is hard enough for my parents without anything else. They can't even call it gay, they just call me fruity, and my mother only ever acknowledges it if she's joking about something in the same breath. I think the worst thing is that she's 100% in-the-know about me being gay, but still makes awful gay jokes and talks about how much she hates weak men. It's almost like she's trying to tell me indirectly that she disapproves.
> 
> I don't know. Just needed to vent a little there.



I am so sorry your mom treats you that way. It makes me so angry  Why can't parents (and everyone, really) just be accepting?? It's really bizarre that anyone could think love was wrong just because it's between the same gender. Wtf??


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Bowie said:


> Started wearing necklaces again recently. Got nothing but compliments from it, which is nice. Being around people who constantly belittle you for any traces of femininity make small things like wearing necklaces or wearing a bit of make-up feel like a huge step forward.
> 
> Being gay is hard enough for my parents without anything else. They can't even call it gay, they just call me fruity, and my mother only ever acknowledges it if she's joking about something in the same breath. I think the worst thing is that she's 100% in-the-know about me being gay, but still makes awful gay jokes and talks about how much she hates weak men. It's almost like she's trying to tell me indirectly that she disapproves.
> 
> I don't know. Just needed to vent a little there.



This is awful. My mom doesn't know I'm gay, but she knows and see plainly how much it bothers me when she jokes or makes disgusting remarks towards anything falling under the LGBT spectrum on tv or the news or anything. This is the main reason I've never come out to her, I dated people under her nose and she never caught wind though, which was cool I guess. I don't think I'll ever outwardly come out to her, but maybe someday in the future if I get a girlfriend I'll introduce her and maybe she'll wake up a bit. 

One of my exes posted himself wearing a very "feminine" necklace on facebook and it made me happy, it was a mother of pearl butterfly on a silver chain, super pretty! I wish people were more open-minded. I don't know why only women should be allowed to wear make-up and pretty jewelry. Even dresses skirts and heels. Sucks even worse being it that most of those things weren't gender inclusive in history but we still shame people for using them today...


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Raskell said:


> What is a pescatarian??


Only thing I'm going to answer cause it seems like you're trying to start stuff on here, a pescatarian is someone who only eats vegetables and fish, basically a "fish-atarian."


----------



## Haskell

pillow bunny said:


> what is non binary



What is non-binary? For real?

- - - Post Merge - - -



KaydeeKrunk said:


> Only thing I'm going to answer cause it seems like you're trying to start stuff on here, a pescatarian is someone who only eats vegetables and fish, basically a "fish-atarian."



Ah. Thank you KaydeeKrunk.

Makes sense. I was so confused. 

- - - Post Merge - - -



Mango said:


> #lovewins we did it!



I remember when the SCOTUS ruled in favor of same-sex marriage.

I posted on Facebook saying how the supreme court is not the supreme being.

I was in my Christian homophobic phase.

I regret it 110%!


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

KaydeeKrunk said:


> This is awful. My mom doesn't know I'm gay, but she knows and see plainly how much it bothers me when she jokes or makes disgusting remarks towards anything falling under the LGBT spectrum on tv or the news or anything. This is the main reason I've never come out to her, I dated people under her nose and she never caught wind though, which was cool I guess. I don't think I'll ever outwardly come out to her, but maybe someday in the future if I get a girlfriend I'll introduce her and maybe she'll wake up a bit.
> 
> One of my exes posted himself wearing a very "feminine" necklace on facebook and it made me happy, it was a mother of pearl butterfly on a silver chain, super pretty! I wish people were more open-minded. I don't know why only women should be allowed to wear make-up and pretty jewelry. Even dresses skirts and heels. Sucks even worse being it that most of those things weren't gender inclusive in history but we still shame people for using them today...



Yeah people should be totally open-minded  My sister came to me once and said, "I don't know what I'd do if my daughter turns out to be a lesbian." And I was so pissed. I said, "I'd just love her," with the snarkiest tone ever. Ugh. my niece was 3 or 4 at the time and my sister was super concerned because she didn't like dresses or whatever. Seriously??? So what if she turns out gay. And not liking dresses doesn't mean someone is gay!

And I agree, fashion shouldn't be gender-based. In fact, back then, lots of men wore make up and heels actually was mens fashion in the beginning, not women's. But all of a sudden, a man who wears jewellery or anything "feminine" by today's standards is a sissy gay weakling. Like NO. Let people be how they wanna be, what is so hard to understand about that?


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Arize said:


> Yeah people should be totally open-minded  My sister came to me once and said, "I don't know what I'd do if my daughter turns out to be a lesbian." And I was so pissed. I said, "I'd just love her," with the snarkiest tone ever. Ugh. my niece was 3 or 4 at the time and my sister was super concerned because she didn't like dresses or whatever. Seriously??? So what if she turns out gay. And not liking dresses doesn't mean someone is gay!
> 
> And I agree, fashion shouldn't be gender-based. In fact, back then, lots of men wore make up and heels actually was mens fashion in the beginning, not women's. But all of a sudden, a man who wears jewellery or anything "feminine" by today's standards is a sissy gay weakling. Like NO. Let people be how they wanna be, what is so hard to understand about that?



Pirates and army men wore jewelry so someone would have funds to bury them, like that's hella macho, but no, jewelry is "girly" SMH


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

KaydeeKrunk said:


> Pirates and army men wore jewelry so someone would have funds to bury them, like that's hella macho, but no, jewelry is "girly" SMH



Wow, I did not know that about pirates. That's fricking cool! But exactly. I totally agree, like wtf people??


----------



## Bowie

I don't consider fashion to be gender-based at all, but apparently it is to my family.

I just feel very oppressed, and I don't really like feeling that way ever. I always try and be as open and honest as people to everybody that I meet and take no prisoners, so to speak, but it's really hard to keep that level of confidence and strength when something as simple as a necklace, bracelet, or even some bloody perfume can send people wild.

I remember a few months ago I seen this jacket. It was a faux leather one, with a beautiful floral imprint on it. Had enough money to buy it, and my friends kept pushing me to do it, but I couldn't because I knew I'd be dragged to hell if I ever wore it, so I never got it.

I have no issues with my gender at all. Like, I enjoy feminine things and wearing feminine jewellery and maybe someday clothes to a small degree, but if my sexuality of all things is not gonna be acknowledged, nothing else will, surely. My mother has mentioned several times that if I don't wanna marry a woman, I'm better off staying single completely, forever.


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

Bowie said:


> I don't consider fashion to be gender-based at all, but apparently it is to my family.
> 
> I just feel very oppressed, and I don't really like feeling that way ever. I always try and be as open and honest as people to everybody that I meet and take no prisoners, so to speak, but it's really hard to keep that level of confidence and strength when something as simple as a necklace, bracelet, or even some bloody perfume can send people wild.
> 
> I remember a few months ago I seen this jacket. It was a faux leather one, with a beautiful floral imprint on it. Had enough money to buy it, and my friends kept pushing me to do it, but I couldn't because I knew I'd be dragged to hell if I ever wore it, so I never got it.
> 
> I have no issues with my gender at all. Like, I enjoy feminine things and wearing feminine jewellery and maybe someday clothes to a small degree, but if my sexuality of all things is not gonna be acknowledged, nothing else will, surely. My mother has mentioned several times that if I don't wanna marry a woman, I'm better off staying single completely, forever.



I think you're better off without people like that. I know it's your mom, but it's taking away from who you are. I hope one day you will be able to express yourself 100% without having to think about what others, especially your mom, will say about it. If something makes you happy and feel good about yourself, nothing should stop you. I would march back to that store and buy that damn floral jacket and rock it proudly.


----------



## seliph

Arize said:


> Yeah people should be totally open-minded  My sister came to me once and said, "I don't know what I'd do if my daughter turns out to be a lesbian." And I was so pissed. I said, "I'd just love her," with the snarkiest tone ever. Ugh. my niece was 3 or 4 at the time and my sister was super concerned because she didn't like dresses or whatever. Seriously??? So what if she turns out gay. And not liking dresses doesn't mean someone is gay!
> 
> And I agree, fashion shouldn't be gender-based. In fact, back then, lots of men wore make up and heels actually was mens fashion in the beginning, not women's. But all of a sudden, a man who wears jewellery or anything "feminine" by today's standards is a sissy gay weakling. Like NO. Let people be how they wanna be, what is so hard to understand about that?



Hey I'm really glad that you're an ally and everything but why post in the LGBT thread if you aren't LGBT? It's kinda weird for a cis straight person to be in a place where LGBT people can share their experiences together. If you had a friend you were concerned about or something I'd get it but otherwise it's kind of offputting and I'm just wondering what your intents are.

Like again I'm glad you support us but in being an ally you should also respect LGBT spaces. I know a thread on an animal crossing forum isn't comparable to say an actual LGBT club but it's something.


----------



## Bowie

Arize said:


> I think you're better off without people like that. I know it's your mom, but it's taking away from who you are. I hope one day you will be able to express yourself 100% without having to think about what others, especially your mom, will say about it. If something makes you happy and feel good about yourself, nothing should stop you. I would march back to that store and buy that damn floral jacket and rock it proudly.



Thanks for the kind words. Nice to know there are non-LGBT people out there supporting us.


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

gyro said:


> Hey I'm really glad that you're an ally and everything but why post in the LGBT thread if you aren't LGBT? It's kinda weird for a cis straight person to be in a place where LGBT people can share their experiences together. If you had a friend you were concerned about or something I'd get it but otherwise it's kind of offputting and I'm just wondering what your intents are.
> 
> Like again I'm glad you support us but in being an ally you should also respect LGBT spaces. I know a thread on an animal crossing forum isn't comparable to say an actual LGBT club but it's something.



Oh.. sorry. I didn't know it was an LGBTQ only thread >.< I just read the last page and saw people discussing what people's sexuality was if they were dating someone transgendered. Like if they were bi, or gay. I thought I'd join in. It never said in the title that it was only for LGBTQ members. It says discussion and support and I figured I thought it was just for people who supported LGBTQ folks? But okay, since I'm making people uncomfortable I'll go! I didn't know I was being disrespectful by trying to show my support..

- - - Post Merge - - -



gyro said:


> I'm just wondering what your intents are.



Yeah, I don't even know what you meant by that, but anyway. I'm leaving.


----------



## seliph

Arize said:


> Oh.. sorry. I didn't know it was an LGBTQ only thread >.< I just read the last page and saw people discussing what people's sexuality was if they were dating someone transgendered. Like if they were bi, or gay. I thought I'd join in. It never said in the title that it was only for LGBTQ members. It says discussion and support and I figured I thought it was just for people who supported LGBTQ folks? But okay, since I'm making people uncomfortable I'll go! I didn't know I was being disrespectful by trying to show my support..



It's seemed to be all actual LGBT people from the time I've been here at least.

I tried to be as nice as possible with wording but in my experience, when someone who isn't LGBT comes into a LGBT space a lot of the time they speak over LGBT people and/or want ally points. From your posts on this whole forum in general you don't seem like a malicious person at all but it still made me cautious and made me wonder why you were here, because of what I've just mentioned.

Also side-note, transgender people are just called transgender without the -ed!


----------



## Bowie

I find it kinda disheartening that anyone would consider a straight person showing support for gay people disrespectful, honestly. Surely it's a positive thing that everybody can come together to share purely positive thoughts and attitudes. To describe it as an intent sounds almost malicious.

But anyway, thanks for the kind words, everyone, straight or gay.


----------



## UglyMonsterFace

gyro said:


> It's seemed to be all actual LGBT people from the time I've been here at least.
> 
> I tried to be as nice as possible with wording but in my experience, when someone who isn't LGBT comes into a LGBT space a lot of the time they speak over LGBT people and/or want ally points. From your posts on this whole forum in general you don't seem like a malicious person at all but it still made me cautious and made me wonder why you were here, because of what I've just mentioned.
> 
> *Also side-note, transgender people are just called transgender without the -ed!*



Oops, I usually do use transgender in person, but for some reason, I thought it looked grammatically correct with the -ed in that moment that I was typing it >.< Sorry!

I don't care about ally points.. What would that gain me really? I know what I support and I don't just support LGBTQ rights just to get brownie points with whoever. I piped in because I found it ridiculous that some people would think a straight woman liking a trans man makes them a lesbian. Like in my point, I still consider myself straight because I consider trans men as male. And I just wanted to throw support in the way of some that seemed to need it. It was 100% genuine. But like I said, I understand if you're uncomfortable with straight people in here, then I will go.


----------



## seliph

Bowie said:


> I find it kinda disheartening that anyone would consider a straight person showing support for gay people disrespectful, honestly.



That's not what I said. Please read my posts again.



Arize said:


> Oops, I usually do use transgender in person, but for some reason, I thought it looked grammatically correct with the -ed in that moment that I was typing it >.< Sorry!
> 
> I don't care about ally points.. What would that gain me really? I know what I support and I don't just support LGBTQ rights just to get brownie points with whoever. I piped in because I found it ridiculous that some people would think a straight woman liking a trans man makes them a lesbian. Like in my point, I still consider myself straight because I consider trans men as male. And I just wanted to throw support in the way of some that seemed to need it. It was 100% genuine. But like I said, I understand if you're uncomfortable with straight people in here, then I will go.



It's fine lmao was just a reminder, people mess em up all the time.

And idk! A lot of people are like obsessed with looking like the Number One Best Ally. I'm not sure what it gets them or why they're even so into it in the first place. Hence I get suspicious when straight people get really into LGBT discussion 'cause it always feels like, "Alright do you want something?"

It's nothing against you personally. I can promise that much.


----------



## visibleghost

yea w the Best Ally thing a lot of those Best Allies do and say some rly :/ things and then they get super defensive when someone tells them to not do that bc theyre "a great ally!!!" like yeah great i get that u bought a rainbow backpack to support us but that doesnt mean that youre a perfect ally who can never be homophobic or transphobic and that youre being bullied by the lgbtq community when someone tells u that it's creepy and bad to b an extreme yaoi fangirl lol

this isnt about anyone specific in this thread or anything lol, that's just my personal experience with a lot of allies who think  theyre super great. ofc there are actual good allies but Yeee the bad "good" ones are the most common in my experience


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

"Best Allies" are better than the straight people who make homosexuality into a fetish or trend tho. :/


----------



## amanda1983

KaydeeKrunk said:


> "Best Allies" are better than the straight people who make homosexuality into a fetish or trend tho. :/



I'm just an ally of multiple loved ones and the community in general, but in my experience : very often well-intended straight allies can be - or become - the most fetishising of fetishists in this area. Not all of us, of course. But LGBTQIA+ ally =/= above fetishing aspects of the LGBTQIA+ world.


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

amanda1983 said:


> I'm just an ally of multiple loved ones and the community in general, but in my experience : very often well-intended straight allies can be - or become - the most fetishising of fetishists in this area. Not all of us, of course. But LGBTQIA+ ally =/= above fetishing aspects of the LGBTQIA+ world.



Yeah, I wasn't saying they were inclusive. But I know people who "ship" every gay OTP ever and write fan-fics who are apposed to gay marriage/rights, and who have literally said "ew" directed at actual gay people... -_- And THOSE are the worst.


----------



## amanda1983

KaydeeKrunk said:


> Yeah, I wasn't saying they were inclusive. But I know people who "ship" every gay OTP ever and write fan-fics who are apposed to gay marriage/rights, and who have literally said "ew" directed at actual gay people... -_- And THOSE are the worst.



Oh yes, I see what you mean now, definitely a different level  of wtf. I don't think I've come across someone who does that - if I do, that will be quite the enlightening conversation. For both of us.


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

amanda1983 said:


> Oh yes, I see what you mean now, definitely a different level  of wtf. I don't think I've come across someone who does that - if I do, that will be quite the enlightening conversation. For both of us.



Oh yes, very enlightening. It's hard to even talk to them, the girl I knew was a huge weeaboo at my high school and when I asked why she "shipped" gays but didn't approve of them having rights was, and I quote "Well it's just cute, they still can't get married, because it's wrong. It's in the bible!" A real 10/10 human being I'll tell ya what.


----------



## Jeremy

All members are welcome to post wherever they like as long as they're being respectful and not breaking any rules, and that includes this thread. We're not going to silence anyone just because they aren't part of a specific group, especially when they seem to have nothing but supportive things to say.


----------



## seliph

visibleghost said:


> yea w the Best Ally thing a lot of those Best Allies do and say some rly :/ things and then they get super defensive when someone tells them to not do that bc theyre "a great ally!!!" like yeah great i get that u bought a rainbow backpack to support us but that doesnt mean that youre a perfect ally who can never be homophobic or transphobic and that youre being bullied by the lgbtq community when someone tells u that it's creepy and bad to b an extreme yaoi fangirl lol
> 
> this isnt about anyone specific in this thread or anything lol, that's just my personal experience with a lot of allies who think  theyre super great. ofc there are actual good allies but Yeee the bad "good" ones are the most common in my experience





amanda1983 said:


> I'm just an ally of multiple loved ones and the community in general, but in my experience : very often well-intended straight allies can be - or become - the most fetishising of fetishists in this area. Not all of us, of course. But LGBTQIA+ ally =/= above fetishing aspects of the LGBTQIA+ world.



This is basically what I was talking about, not really good at explaining things at 3-4AM



Jeremy said:


> All members are welcome to post wherever they like as long as they're being respectful and not breaking any rules, and that includes this thread. We're not going to silence anyone just because they aren't part of a specific group, especially when they seem to have nothing but supportive things to say.



Get out straightie!!!


----------



## MorphiGalaxi

> Get out straightie!!!


Um, I cant tell if this is a serious post or not.
If not its kinda rude, no offense, just confused. XD

Also, just wanted to say I fully support you guys :3


----------



## Ghost Soda

amanda1983 said:


> Oh yes, I see what you mean now, definitely a different level  of wtf. I don't think I've come across someone who does that - if I do, that will be quite the enlightening conversation. For both of us.



I know what you guys were talking about! A while ago, I saw a user on dA who openly admitted, without a hint of irony or remorse, that while they enjoy shipping mlm, they don't care about real life LGBT+ people. I wish I were exaggerating...


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Ghost Soda said:


> I know what you guys were talking about! A while ago, I saw a user on dA who openly admitted, without a hint of irony or remorse, that while they enjoy shipping mlm, they don't care about real life LGBT+ people. I wish I were exaggerating...



It's really horrible! Having something so important to so many people be fetishized is just awful.


----------



## visibleghost

lol also my favorite Cishet Ally thing is when they say that they "have nothing against The Gays and The Transgenders" so they can't be homophobic or transphobic lol Throwback 2 old threads on this forum ha ha

im rly sick of ppl who think that being told youre homophobic or transphobic is worse than actually being it ha ha



Issi said:


> Um, I cant tell if this is a serious post or not.
> If not its kinda rude, no offense, just confused. XD
> 
> Also, just wanted to say I fully support you guys :3


 #str8 h8


----------



## Brookie

Hi guys,

So, I'm straight (Idk if i'm welcome here  ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation. 

I was recently talking to my guy friend (who likes me), and I used to like him back, but he's recently been off-putting to me lately :/
First, we were talking about transgender. I was asking him what binders were 'cause I kept hearing about them. I looked it up in UrbanBook, and it said: "what a transgender man wears to flatten the chest and give it a flat appearance" I was like "ooooohHh!" He said "wait, wouldn't a 'transman' want more of a chest?". I said "I think the labels means what they identify as, so the transman is indeed a man that was assigned female at birth". He said "not to me their not" I was thinking: uhhhhh, so I said "what do u mean, not to you? Like they aren't a man to you and you refuse to call them that?" He said "in my eyes, you are what you are. you have no right changing what god made you" Then I was like: uuuuhhhhh, wow. I tried to move on from that, because I guess he wasn't really being hateful, just stating his opinion.

Then, I was talking about how I was confused with all the new terms. He said: "It was so much easier when it was gay/lesbian or straight" (He's 23 btw, I'm 21) I said "well there was always bi and trans, I always thought that was it - but now there are like 20 different terms. So much to learn D:" Then he laughed and said "HAHAHA, so many confused folks out there." and he said it in the most condescending and meanest way ever. I said "I wouldn't say confused..... but lets talk about something else" I could only imagine how this would feel to hear as an LGBTQIA person. 

So please, tell me - is it wrong of me to not really see him the same anymore? or like him in that way anymore? he's always given me that umm "annoying hetero boy" vibe, but I don't really know If I am overreacting. i've certainly never heard ANY of my other friends saying that - even if they were close-minded and religious. I don't think he had any place saying that, tbh.


----------



## Chris

brookesierra7 said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> So, I'm straight (*Idk if i'm welcome here*  ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation.



You are welcome. The people who are trying to chase straight people out of this thread are not actually allowed to do this. Anyone is welcome to post in any thread.


----------



## Brookie

Tina said:


> You are welcome. The people who are trying to chase straight people out of this thread are not actually allowed to do this. Anyone is welcome to post in any thread.



Oh, ok! Well, clearly from my first post in here - I highly support the community ^_^
Thanks Tina


----------



## Bowie

brookesierra7 said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> So, I'm straight (Idk if i'm welcome here  ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation.
> 
> I was recently talking to my guy friend (who likes me), and I used to like him back, but he's recently been off-putting to me lately :/
> First, we were talking about transgender. I was asking him what binders were 'cause I kept hearing about them. I looked it up in UrbanBook, and it said: "what a transgender man wears to flatten the chest and give it a flat appearance" I was like "ooooohHh!" He said "wait, wouldn't a 'transman' want more of a chest?". I said "I think the labels means what they identify as, so the transman is indeed a man that was assigned female at birth". He said "not to me their not" I was thinking: uhhhhh, so I said "what do u mean, not to you? Like they aren't a man to you and you refuse to call them that?" He said "in my eyes, you are what you are. you have no right changing what god made you" Then I was like: uuuuhhhhh, wow. I tried to move on from that, because I guess he wasn't really being hateful, just stating his opinion.
> 
> Then, I was talking about how I was confused with all the new terms. He said: "It was so much easier when it was gay/lesbian or straight" (He's 23 btw, I'm 21) I said "well there was always bi and trans, I always thought that was it - but now there are like 20 different terms. So much to learn D:" Then he laughed and said "HAHAHA, so many confused folks out there." and he said it in the most condescending and meanest way ever. I said "I wouldn't say confused..... but lets talk about something else" I could only imagine how this would feel to hear as an LGBTQIA person.
> 
> So please, tell me - is it wrong of me to not really see him the same anymore? or like him in that way anymore? he's always given me that umm "annoying hetero boy" vibe, but I don't really know If I am overreacting. i've certainly never heard ANY of my other friends saying that - even if they were close-minded and religious. I don't think he had any place saying that, tbh.



Might just be me, but I couldn't even be friends with someone who kept bringing up God in arguments. That'd be me breaking up with him before we even got started.

Seriously, though. Run a mile. You don't want to risk being influenced by idiots like that. And more than anything else, you're worth so much more than that. It's obvious you don't have the same philosophies as him, and if he thinks it's all right to treat minority groups like garbage, I see no reason not to treat you like garbage either. It'll come back to bite you on the backside later in life if you try and pursue a relationship with him. Trust me.

On the off chance you can teach him a better way, give him an ultimatum. If he isn't gonna be willing to change his ways and be more respectful about minority groups, you're not gonna be friends with him, talk to him, text him, do anything with him.

I know that I'd already be gone by now.


----------



## Corrie

brookesierra7 said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> So, I'm straight (Idk if i'm welcome here  ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation.
> 
> I was recently talking to my guy friend (who likes me), and I used to like him back, but he's recently been off-putting to me lately :/
> First, we were talking about transgender. I was asking him what binders were 'cause I kept hearing about them. I looked it up in UrbanBook, and it said: "what a transgender man wears to flatten the chest and give it a flat appearance" I was like "ooooohHh!" He said "wait, wouldn't a 'transman' want more of a chest?". I said "I think the labels means what they identify as, so the transman is indeed a man that was assigned female at birth". He said "not to me their not" I was thinking: uhhhhh, so I said "what do u mean, not to you? Like they aren't a man to you and you refuse to call them that?" He said "in my eyes, you are what you are. you have no right changing what god made you" Then I was like: uuuuhhhhh, wow. I tried to move on from that, because I guess he wasn't really being hateful, just stating his opinion.
> 
> Then, I was talking about how I was confused with all the new terms. He said: "It was so much easier when it was gay/lesbian or straight" (He's 23 btw, I'm 21) I said "well there was always bi and trans, I always thought that was it - but now there are like 20 different terms. So much to learn D:" Then he laughed and said "HAHAHA, so many confused folks out there." and he said it in the most condescending and meanest way ever. I said "I wouldn't say confused..... but lets talk about something else" I could only imagine how this would feel to hear as an LGBTQIA person.
> 
> So please, tell me - is it wrong of me to not really see him the same anymore? or like him in that way anymore? he's always given me that umm "annoying hetero boy" vibe, but I don't really know If I am overreacting. i've certainly never heard ANY of my other friends saying that - even if they were close-minded and religious. I don't think he had any place saying that, tbh.



It's definitely not wrong for you to change your opinion about someone based on how they are and what their opinions are. You don't have to accept his opinions if you don't agree with him (especially if you do it with respect). 

Sometimes I learn something about someone who I once liked that made me not like them anymore. It's totally normal, in my opinion anyway. 

Being in a relationship with someone when you have conflicting opinions is hard but it can be done. It just depends if you can handle those differences.


----------



## Brookie

Bowie said:


> Might just be me, but I couldn't even be friends with someone who kept bringing up God in arguments. That'd be me breaking up with him before we even got started.
> 
> Seriously, though. Run a mile. You don't want to risk being influenced by idiots like that. And more than anything else, you're worth so much more than that. It's obvious you don't have the same philosophies as him, and if he thinks it's all right to treat minority groups like garbage, I see no reason not to treat you like garbage either. It'll come back to bite you on the backside later in life if you try and pursue a relationship with him. Trust me.
> 
> On the off chance you can teach him a better way, give him an ultimatum. If he isn't gonna be willing to change his ways and be more respectful about minority groups, you're not gonna be friends with him, talk to him, text him, do anything with him.
> 
> I know that I'd already be gone by now.




Lol, we weren't dating to begin with - but I was developing my version of "feelings" for him ( I think I'm aromantic, but that's a diffierent story) but now I'm starting to see how idk disgusting and homophobe he seems? I just also think he objectifies people too much...(Also, I am a minority myself [ and he isn't]- so I don't know how he feels about my ethnicity as a whole - even though he claims to have had his first crush on one - but thats for another thread)
Idk he just seems like one of those guys that says that and then turns around and watches lesbian porn "for hot gay women" like its gross and objectifying to be watching that and not even believe in that all of the letters of LGBTQIA+  :/
Thanks Bowie 

Also, we wouldn't be in a relationship any time soon (like a year or two) we were just close friends, and he seemed to really gain feelings for me. I just can't see him the same anymore 

and thanks Corrie


----------



## visibleghost

brookesierra7 said:


> Lol, we weren't dating to begin with - but I was developing my version of "feelings" for him ( I think I'm aromantic, but that's a diffierent story) but now I'm starting to see how idk disgusting and homophobe he seems? I just also think he objectifies people too much...(Also, I am a minority myself [ and he isn't]- so I don't know how he feels about my ethnicity as a whole - even though he claims to have had his first crush on one - but thats for another thread)
> Idk he just seems like one of those guys that says that and then turns around and watches lesbian porn "for hot gay women" like its gross and objectifying to be watching that and not even believe in that all of the letters of LGBTQIA+  :/
> Thanks Bowie
> 
> Also, we wouldn't be in a relationship any time soon (like a year or two) we were just close friends, and he seemed to really gain feelings for me. I just can't see him the same anymore
> 
> and thanks Corrie



tbh seems like a gross person. if i were u id avoid him lol
people who are hateful and ignorant like that arent worth dealing w and in my experience they think they know best so if you try to explain why they suck to them theyll b like "let's agree to disagree :')" and then start talking about how the world is so unfair to them bc theyre a cishet white man lolllll


----------



## Brookie

visibleghost said:


> bc theyre a cishet white man lolllll



Lol, that's exactly what he is. I think I'll just cut ties with him. There are many other things he's said that grates me.


----------



## visibleghost

brookesierra7 said:


> Lol, that's exactly what he is. I think I'll just cut ties with him. There are many other things he's said that grates me.



but cutting ties w some1 just bc theyre white cis straight and/or a man is DISCRIMINATION ?!!??!??!!!!!!??    

just kidding but Yea Sounds Like A Good Idea


----------



## Brookie

visibleghost said:


> but cutting ties w some1 just bc theyre white cis straight and/or a man is DISCRIMINATION ?!!??!??!!!!!!??
> 
> just kidding but Yea Sounds Like A Good Idea




I meant because he is annoying and the way he says things bothers me XD Thanks for the help


----------



## seliph

brookesierra7 said:


> So please, tell me - is it wrong of me to not really see him the same anymore? or like him in that way anymore? he's always given me that umm "annoying hetero boy" vibe, but I don't really know If I am overreacting. i've certainly never heard ANY of my other friends saying that - even if they were close-minded and religious. I don't think he had any place saying that, tbh.



No it's not wrong at all I was actually really glad to read this part. That dude is ignorant.

If he wants to bring dieties into it, how does he know god didn't make them trans? Did he speak to him himself?


----------



## Brookie

gyro said:


> No it's not wrong at all I was actually really glad to read this part. That dude is ignorant.
> 
> If he wants to bring dieties into it, how does he know god didn't make them trans? Did he speak to him himself?



That's exactly what I'm thinking! God could've made people who were assigned girls, in all reality be BOYS, and do that as one of the tests to see how accepting each and every one of us are. If this is true, then he certainly really failed- and so have millions of other ignorant (not normal) religious people. 

That's also the ONLY time he's said anything about God. He's so out there with his sexuality it's crazy. The way he acts, no person would even guess he is "religious" in fact If i'm correct, i could've sworn he told me he was agnostic or atheist! 

I texted him today, and said: Well, in my eyes: god made everyone equal and have free will and LOVES everyone. people who spew hate and condescendance (made up word) on others have NO right to do so.

UPDATE:
I told my mom, and she said I was overreacting, and people have the right to her opinions (mind you: she's also 52 years old and would freak if she knew I "did anything" before marriage, so that goes to show how "religious" she is [srry if that's tmi XD] )

I then told my sisters who are like my half-second moms/guardians (they are 10 & 8 years older than me). They said: "if i ever heard you saying that, I'd be extremely disappointed in you. if i wasn't your sister and heard u saying that - i wouldn't be your friend"


----------



## Fleshy

pawpatrolbab said:


> I'm Nate, I'm a not cis guy, gay, and I love my husband



Same!! I'm Eli and I love my husband a whole lot


----------



## pawpatrolbab

Fleshy said:


> Same!! I'm Eli and I love my husband a whole lot
> 
> View attachment 198692



Oh hey, someone actually decided to acknowledge my existence


----------



## Ghost Soda

Howdy, I'm Ghost and I'm agender, pan and single as heck!


----------



## Bowie

I have a husband but he hasn't realised it yet.


----------



## seliph

I have a husband but he doesn't actually exist


----------



## Corrie

brookesierra7 said:


> That's exactly what I'm thinking! God could've made people who were assigned girls, in all reality be BOYS, and do that as one of the tests to see how accepting each and every one of us are. If this is true, then he certainly really failed- and so have millions of other ignorant (not normal) religious people.
> 
> That's also the ONLY time he's said anything about God. He's so out there with his sexuality it's crazy. The way he acts, no person would even guess he is "religious" in fact If i'm correct, i could've sworn he told me he was agnostic or atheist!
> 
> I texted him today, and said: Well, in my eyes: god made everyone equal and have free will and LOVES everyone. people who spew hate and condescendance (made up word) on others have NO right to do so.
> 
> UPDATE:
> I told my mom, and she said I was overreacting, and people have the right to her opinions (mind you: she's also 52 years old and would freak if she knew I "did anything" before marriage, so that goes to show how "religious" she is [srry if that's tmi XD] )
> 
> I then told my sisters who are like my half-second moms/guardians (they are 10 & 8 years older than me). They said: "if i ever heard you saying that, I'd be extremely disappointed in you. if i wasn't your sister and heard u saying that - i wouldn't be your friend"



I find that older folks have outdated opinions and are usually ignorant. Not always, but usually. That's why I never bring up anything about trans/gay subjects because it's pointless.


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Has anybody else seen that thing going around about the couple who has been married for years getting a divorce so they can both be with their girlfriend? I don't know why but it makes me really happy? (probably cause I want a girlfriend, but I would want my bf to have his own partner, not sharing) I wish poly relationships weren't so look down upon, idk. But anyways I thought it was really cute.


----------



## himeki

out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?


----------



## Corrie

himeki said:


> out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?



I personally view them in the same area as cishets. They both are typically straight.


----------



## easpa

himeki said:


> out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?



I personally don't have an issue with them going to gay bars, pride or anything like that, but I'd have to question why they might feel the need to join lgbt support groups since aro/ace people don't usually experience the same kind of mistreatment as lgbt people. I mean, people get assaulted and murdered just for being visibly gay/trans in public and it's that kind of oppression that makes support groups necessary, but I've never heard of anyone genuinely fearing for their lives by virtue of being asexual or aromantic so I don't get why they'd need to join the same support groups as lgbt people. Since society tends to be so heteronormative, most aro/ace people are probably assumed to be straight by default and don't have to worry about being mistreated the same way those in the lgbt community are. Of course it's a different story for those who are homosexual aromantic, asexual biromantic, etc etc...

That being said, I'm not aro or ace myself so I'd be more than willing to hear some thoughts about this from someone that is


----------



## Fearthecuteness

KaydeeKrunk said:


> Has anybody else seen that thing going around about the couple who has been married for years getting a divorce so they can both be with their girlfriend? I don't know why but it makes me really happy? (probably cause I want a girlfriend, but I would want my bf to have his own partner, not sharing) I wish poly relationships weren't so look down upon, idk. But anyways I thought it was really cute.



The site kept crashing on my phone so I didn't get to read all of it but I think this is awesome. If this makes them happy then why not?
Yeah, I wish poly relationships were more accepted in society too. I know it's not for everyone but this type of stuff can help certain relationships grow stronger as there's not things like jealousy and trust issues so much. Also if people are bisexual/bi-curious it can be a good way to explore their sexuality more while they're in a long term relationship. Obviously same for straight people who just don't want to be monogamous too but bisexual people especially. This goes for couples that aren't just looking for serious relationships but swinging and stuff too.
If polygamy was more accepted then people cheating wouldn't be as common as it is now.


----------



## seliph

himeki said:


> out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?



Cishet aces/aroaces aren't LGBT and I personally don't want them in LGBT spaces. I guess they aren't really hurting people in gay bars or gay clubs (assuming they don't try to pick people up) but as Pachi said they should not be in LGBT support groups or school groups since they will just never face the same problems LGBT people do and it's basically like a straight person being there, especially cishet aces since they are quite literally straight. Most LGBT support groups don't want them there either, but are forced to include them because otherwise they face reputation of being "exclusive" and get shut down.


----------



## pawpatrolbab

himeki said:


> out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?



I believe they have a right to be there


----------



## Brookie

gyro said:


> Cishet aces/aroaces aren't LGBT and I personally don't want them in LGBT spaces. I guess they aren't really hurting people in gay bars or gay clubs (assuming they don't try to pick people up) but as Pachi said they should not be in LGBT support groups or school groups since they will just never face the same problems LGBT people do and it's basically like a straight person being there. Most LGBT support groups don't want them there either, but are forced to include them because otherwise they face reputation of being "exclusive" and get shut down.



This gives me a whole new perspective. I'm not asexual, but I don't view and participate in romance the same way many people do. Although, I'm not opposed to being in a relationship and actually would like to be in one some day, I sometimes feel like I could be a-romantic because the relationship is only for someone else's company and to have someone to share inside jokes with, etc. Basically a best friend you exclusively "have fun" with. 
Anyway, when I was at a summer therapy sanctuary like plae - and heard some of my acquaintance-friends (somewhere in the middle) talking about the LGBT group, I was excited and pleasantly surprised and went: "I wanna join!!!"
They were like "are you any of those letters?"
I said "well no....but half my best friends are"
"Then you don't need to be in the group. and friends aren't enough to justify"
I was like "ohh..okay :c"
I felt like it was the same as me being in a Minority/Black student union and was telling a non-black person that they couldn't join :/
But hearing what Gyro said really gave me a new perspective.

but then again
that's no different than telling a black/hispanic/asian person that "looks really white" that they shouldn't be in their respective ethnicity organizations/clubs because they don't "face the same" discrimination.


----------



## nostalgibra

himeki said:


> out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?



I'm really conflicted with this because people on the asexual spectrum DO face a lot of discrimination - try telling an older relative you don't want children or a partner and see how they react. People get angry because aros and aces aren't "normal" in their eyes, and that they need to be "fixed" with the right relationship or whatever. So they definitely do face real problems - but on the other hand if they are otherwise cisgender and heterosexual, then I mean...that's inherently not LGBTQ by default. I'm not sure what to think.


----------



## seliph

brookesierra7 said:


> This gives me a whole new perspective. I'm not asexual, but I don't view and participate in romance the same way many people do. Although, I'm not opposed to being in a relationship and actually would like to be in one some day, I sometimes feel like I could be a-romantic because the relationship is only for someone else's company and to have someone to share inside jokes with, etc. Basically a best friend you exclusively "have fun" with.
> Anyway, when I was at a summer therapy sanctuary like plae - and heard some of my acquaintance-friends (somewhere in the middle) talking about the LGBT group, I was excited and pleasantly surprised and went: "I wanna join!!!"
> They were like "are you any of those letters?"
> I said "well no....but half my best friends are"
> "Then you don't need to be in the group. and friends aren't enough to justify"
> I was like "ohh..okay :c"
> I felt like it was the same as me being in a Minority/Black student union and was telling a non-black person that they couldn't join :/
> But hearing what Gyro said really gave me a new perspective.



Being asexual means you aren't sexually attracted to people, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your romantic life.
That being said I'm glad you changed your mind, straight people being in LGBT spaces makes a lot of us feel unsafe and like we can't speak about our issues with straight people because of them being there.



nostalgibra said:


> I'm really conflicted with this because people on the asexual spectrum DO face a lot of discrimination - try telling an older relative you don't want children or a partner and see how they react. People get angry because aros and aces aren't "normal" in their eyes, and that they need to be "fixed" with the right relationship or whatever. So they definitely do face real problems - but on the other hand if they are otherwise cisgender and heterosexual, then I mean...that's inherently not LGBTQ by default. I'm not sure what to think.



We can all agree aro and ace people do face some prejudices and some horrible ones at that, however as bad as it is it still doesn't make them an oppressed group.


----------



## Brookie

gyro said:


> Being asexual means you aren't sexually attracted to people, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your romantic life.



I meant a-romantic, Gyro  (for myself)


----------



## Dogemon

nostalgibra said:


> I'm really conflicted with this because people on the asexual spectrum DO face a lot of discrimination - try telling an older relative you don't want children or a partner and see how they react. People get angry because aros and aces aren't "normal" in their eyes, and that they need to be "fixed" with the right relationship or whatever. So they definitely do face real problems - but on the other hand if they are otherwise cisgender and heterosexual, then I mean...that's inherently not LGBTQ by default. I'm not sure what to think.



I say I don't want kids all the time and I am pansexual lol, that isn't really just an ace/aro thing. An occasional snide comment about dating isn't the same as being beaten for being gay, see the difference here? People also don't get disgusted with an aromantic guy/girl having dinner in a restaurant like they do a gay/lesbian couple.  Not to say aces/aros don't​ get crap for being themselves, but it is far less common/severe.


----------



## seliph

Asking for a friend who's gonna see a doctor about transitioning in a bit: Anyone know what they should expect?

Gonna add that they are trans friendly so there's no worries about that


----------



## pawpatrolbab

gyro said:


> Asking for a friend who's gonna see a doctor about transitioning in a bit: Anyone know what they should expect?



Depends on the doctor really


----------



## faelien

gyro said:


> Asking for a friend who's gonna see a doctor about transitioning in a bit: Anyone know what they should expect?
> 
> Gonna add that they are trans friendly so there's no worries about that



I've heard rumors of doctors being "trans friendly" but still holding back hormones because the patient won't completely conform to their gender standards, so hopefully your friend doesn't experience that. I've personally not tried to seen a doctor about transitioning so I don't know tbh. Hope it all goes easy and good tho!


----------



## seliph

I was moreso asking what the doctor will ask or talk about, stuff like that. Shouldda been more clear on that bit.


----------



## Dogemon

gyro said:


> I was moreso asking what the doctor will ask or talk about, stuff like that. Shouldda been more clear on that bit.



From what one of my friends told me in the past, they usually ask things like what their desired end point is to look like, both realistically and non-realistically. Other than that, it was mostly general health questions and discussing the side effects of hormone treatments and what options would be feasible and which would be best for their specific needs etc.


----------



## toonafeesh

I'm kinda late with this post but I hope no one minds me butting into the aro/ace talk! I identify as both aro/ace (tbh I'm still questioning my orientation imsoconfusedrn, but for now I think the aro/ace spectrum fits me best) so I'd like to give my two cents on this. And excuse me if I do sound a bit bias or like a Straight Ally™, or if I completely miss the point @_@ 



Corrie said:


> I personally view them in the same area as cishets. They both are typically straight.


Aces can be straight, but aros aren't really straight? We don't experience romantic attraction to any gender, so I wouldn't group aros with straights-- but I'm mostly talking about people who are both..aro/ace lol. I hope that makes sense. I mean yeah, someone could be a male who's aromantic but heterosexual which makes them straight..



nostalgibra said:


> I'm really conflicted with this because people on the asexual spectrum DO face a lot of discrimination - try telling an older relative you don't want children or a partner and see how they react. People get angry because aros and aces aren't "normal" in their eyes, and that they need to be "fixed" with the right relationship or whatever. So they definitely do face real problems - but on the other hand if they are otherwise cisgender and heterosexual, then I mean...that's inherently not LGBTQ by default. I'm not sure what to think.





gyro said:


> Being asexual means you aren't sexually attracted to people, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your romantic life.
> That being said I'm glad you changed your mind, straight people being in LGBT spaces makes a lot of us feel unsafe and like we can't speak about our issues with straight people because of them being there.
> 
> We can all agree aro and ace people do face some prejudices and some horrible ones at that, however as bad as it is it still doesn't make them an oppressed group.



From my experience I don't get much discrimination since not many people know that I'm aro/ace, and I don't think other aro and ace people face much discrimination either? I'm assuming majority of the world don't even know that these identities even exist. And I think that's where some of the 'discrimination' comes from - that our identities aren't valid. I think that's as far as it goes; I know it's nowhere near as bad as the LGBT community.

But anyway, I don't really think there's an urgent need for A peeps to be included in LGBT spaces. I mean, it's really nice to be included but personally I don't like seeing people making a big deal out of it.

However I did attend a Mardi Gras parade with my bi friend, she asked me to go with her because atm I think I'm her only friend who knows she's bi and feels comfortable talking about it with me. There was an asexual float WHICH MADE ME SUPER HAPPY LIKE WOAH WE EXIST and it's just.. nice to be included? But if there wasn't an ace float I wouldn't be bummed out at all. I'd totally go to a gay bar with her too if she wants to meet people, but as an aroace I don't have any reason to go by myself. Of course I can't speak for straight aro/ace people.

Again, I'm sorry if my post missed the point or went in circles.. uhh *tl;dr*: please don't group all aces/aros with Straight™ people and I don't think it's important to include aces/aros in LGBT spaces since we don't face as much oppression as others. It's nice to be included, but it does feel a bit out of place/intrusive.


----------



## visibleghost

himeki said:


> out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?



cishets are cishets
if youre aro ace and cis youre cis but not straight, but you still dont "qualify" as lgbtq imo, tho youre obviously not straight. 
the aro/ace community needs a space and i get why it has been included in the community bc it's considered weird to be aro/ace But ??? if youre straight and cis youre not lgbtq.....

 im aromantic and asexual myself which means that im not straight but that doesnt mean my orientation makes me lgbt. to me my sexual and romantic identity isnt a big deal and i dont feel like lgbtq spaces are the place id want to discuss aro ace stuff, i'd rather do it in a seperate aro ace community (tho the ace community everywhere Suxz) or in autism lr trauma related spaces bc my sexuality is closely linked to those things

i view it the same way as other things that are looked down upon like poly or w/e. poly ppl can be lgbtq and there is an overlap between the communities but being poly doesnt automatically make you lgbtq.



nostalgibra said:


> I'm really conflicted with this because people on the asexual spectrum DO face a lot of discrimination - try telling an older relative you don't want children or a partner and see how they react. People get angry because aros and aces aren't "normal" in their eyes, and that they need to be "fixed" with the right relationship or whatever. So they definitely do face real problems - but on the other hand if they are otherwise cisgender and heterosexual, then I mean...that's inherently not LGBTQ by default. I'm not sure what to think.



thats not "aphobia" tho. many of the bad things ace ppl face are more linked to other issues imo it's usually not about aro/ace, more just "everyone wants children" attitude, gender stereotypes, in some cases ableism etc. 
obviously aro and ace people arent 100% acceptef but no one is murdered for being ace and i think we need seperate communities (that obviously can overlap, they just need to not be the same community)



gyro said:


> Asking for a friend who's gonna see a doctor about transitioning in a bit: Anyone know what they should expect?
> 
> Gonna add that they are trans friendly so there's no worries about that



when i went to a trans team around uuhh 6 months ago i  filled in a bunch of papers and forms and "how much do u hate ur body" things. they were really binary and the doctor was Really Cis. the psychologist wasnt as bad but everything was very binary and a question was literally "do you sexually behave like a man or a woman?" which was... interesting.
For me the entire thing was really frustrating and annoying. They implied that i'm not Really trans because i'm at a point where i don't blame myself for what's "wrong" with my gender, instead i blame society Lel so obviously im cis -__-

in my case the doctor wasnt there a lot (i mostly met the psychologist) she was only there the first and last time. she talked about what they could help w and whatever but if you read about transition online for ten minutes you definitely get more information than i got from her. the only useful thing i got from it was that i learnt how it works with transition things there (like time things, legal things, when they let people get on hormones and stuff like that. the information about what happens to the body when you get on hormones wasnt very detailed but i knew everything already so that was not a problem.)

i didnt go further than that bc we decided that it's not a good time to start doing stuff and i am ok with my gender identity as it is (most of my gender identity is about social gender also im a dissociative mess so my concept of myself has been extremely blurry the last year-ish) so i stopped going there and havent started any kind of physical transition so idk what happens next lol.





toonafeesh said:


> I'm kinda late with this post but I hope no one minds me butting into the aro/ace talk! I identify as both aro/ace (tbh I'm still questioning my orientation imsoconfusedrn, but for now I think the aro/ace spectrum fits me best) so I'd like to give my two cents on this. And excuse me if I do sound a bit bias or like a Straight Ally™, or if I completely miss the point @_@
> 
> Aces can be straight, but aros aren't really straight? We don't experience romantic attraction to any gender, so I wouldn't group aros with straights-- but I'm mostly talking about people who are both..aro/ace lol. I hope that makes sense. I mean yeah, someone could be a male who's aromantic but heterosexual which makes them straight..
> 
> From my experience I don't get much discrimination since not many people know that I'm aro/ace, and I don't think other aro and ace people face much discrimination either? I'm assuming majority of the world don't even know that these identities even exist. And I think that's where some of the 'discrimination' comes from - that our identities aren't valid. I think that's as far as it goes; I know it's nowhere near as bad as the LGBT community.
> But anyway, I don't really think there's an urgent need for A peeps to be included in LGBT spaces. I mean, it's really nice to be included but personally I don't like seeing people making a big deal out of it.
> However I did attend a Mardi Gras parade with my bi friend, she asked me to go with her because atm I think I'm her only friend who knows she's bi and feels comfortable talking about it with me. There was an asexual float WHICH MADE ME SUPER HAPPY LIKE WOAH WE EXIST and it's just.. nice to be included? But if there wasn't an ace float I wouldn't be bummed out at all. I'd totally go to a gay bar with her too if she wants to meet people, but as an aroace I don't have any reason to go by myself. Of course I can't speak for straight aro/ace people.
> Again, I'm sorry if my post missed the point or went in circles.. uhh *tl;dr*: please don't group all aces/aros with Straight™ people and I don't think it's important to include aces/aros in LGBT spaces since we don't face as much oppression as others. It's nice to be included, but it does feel a bit out of place/intrusive.


yo im aroace too and i think that obviously if you arent attracted to anyone in any way youre not straight. i'm not straight and i don't accept people calling me straight, however i know i dont have the same problems as people whose sexual identities are lgbq and stufffff. 

i think we definitely need a community but not in the lgbt community. i dont mind people bringing ace and aro stuff up at pride but i think it should be done like how being black or any other non white race or living w a disability are brought into pride or other lgbt events. 

But another thing uhhh idk how to put this but cis aroaces dont personally experience lgbt hate so they can be Woke Af but still be a "cishet" (as in expressing the typical cishet ignorance, not knowing what it's like, not understanding etc.) obviously aro ace people aren't straight but, like, cis aroaces can still have the Cis Straight Mindset. idk


----------



## toonafeesh

Oh yeah you're definitely right, I didn't think about the whole Cis Straight Mindset thing lol. I definitely agree with that, and.. pretty much everything you said 8'D

Yeah most of the aro and/or ace people I know don't like making a big deal of it either, like they don't feel the need to be included in LGBT spaces


----------



## cornimer

himeki said:


> out of curiosity, what is everyone's opinions on cishet aces/aro/aroaces being in LGBT spaces? i dont mean this thread, but i mean places like gay bars, pride, joining lgbt support groups, etc?



As a panromantic ace who used to think they were a hetero-romantic ace, I personally find it a bit bothersome when people want to exclude aces from LGBT+ things. I completely understand that aces will never face the same struggles as other LGBT+ groups, but we certainly aren't accepted either. Personally, I think my mom would be more understanding if I were gay than she is of me being ace. There are still a lot of people who think we don't exist or are fakers, and excluding us from LGBT+ stuff wouldn't really be helping with that...

It also irritates me greatly when people group cishet aces with straight people. Even when I identified as a het ace I did not consider myself straight. Being straight involves having sexual attraction to the opposite gender. If asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, how can we be considered straight?

Again, I know that other LGBT+ members have a much, much harder time and it is much easier and safer to pass through society as an ace, but when it comes to having to figure out ourselves, relationships and our place in an over-sexualized world, aces still do face struggles and it would nice to not be written off by everyone. 

I'm sorry if I offended anyone this is just my opinion


----------



## Bowie

I feel like it's important to let everybody into the circle. We're all after the same very basic things: freedom, equality, and acceptance, and I feel like it's a matter of "the more the merrier", to be honest. If we want these things, we need to stand together as one and help each other. Pushing people out only makes _us_ seem like the prejudice.


----------



## seliph

VanessaMay18 said:


> As a panromantic ace who used to think they were a hetero-romantic ace, I personally find it a bit bothersome when people want to exclude aces from LGBT+ things. I completely understand that aces will never face the same struggles as other LGBT+ groups, but we certainly aren't accepted either. Personally, I think my mom would be more understanding if I were gay than she is of me being ace. There are still a lot of people who think we don't exist or are fakers, and excluding us from LGBT+ stuff wouldn't really be helping with that...
> 
> It also irritates me greatly when people group cishet aces with straight people. Even when I identified as a het ace I did not consider myself straight. Being straight involves having sexual attraction to the opposite gender. If asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, how can we be considered straight?
> 
> Again, I know that other LGBT+ members have a much, much harder time and it is much easier and safer to pass through society as an ace, but when it comes to having to figure out ourselves, relationships and our place in an over-sexualized world, aces still do face struggles and it would nice to not be written off by everyone.
> 
> I'm sorry if I offended anyone this is just my opinion



Cis*het* ace people are het whether they like it or not. It's not fair to claim "straight aces don't exist", but then not deny gay aces, or bi aces, or pan aces. Straight is in the same boat here. It doesn't disappear just because "ace" is after it. Being straight doesn't mean you have to have sex, it just means you are only attracted to the opposite gender, which cishet aces are.

I'm repeating myself and others here but: While aces get some **** handed to them but it's different than other LGBT people. Aces are not systematically oppressed. You won't be denied a job or denied marriage or be kicked out for being ace. You probably won't be murdered either. I don't understand why aces want to be included in LGBT spaces so bad, as if it's just a cool kids club when they don't face any of these things.

I don't deny aces need some form of support and perhaps a community, but as VG said, it doesn't have to be the LGBT community.

It seems to me that the biggest problem cishet aces face is lack of visibility and while yes you guys should get recognition, it doesn't have to be through the LGBT community. I don't know why ace people are so hung up about the LGBT community including them when we don't _have_ to for you guys to be visible and taken seriously.



Bowie said:


> I feel like it's important to let everybody into the circle. We're all after the same very basic things: freedom, equality, and acceptance, and I feel like it's a matter of "the more the merrier", to be honest. If we want these things, we need to stand together as one and help each other. Pushing people out only makes _us_ seem like the prejudice.



Cishet aces basically already have freedom and equality and acceptance. The only problem they have is some people don't believe that they don't like to bang people and I hardly see that as a problem as it is.


----------



## riummi

Yoikes this makes me so confused so I guess i'll stay out of this thread even though I did want to at least be a bit of a part of it


----------



## Esphas

lgbt people aren't accepted by cishets so they need that community
ace people are accepted so they don't need the community
i'm a cis gay male and i don't care if they're excluded or not personally because i'm not involved with the community but i can see why they wouldn't want ace people joining them for no reason


----------



## tumut

I really wish there was a different symbol for LBGT because honestly the rainbow **** is so gross


----------



## Ghost Soda

I won't speak for anyone else on this but I personally don't mind including ace and/or aros in LGBTQIA+/MOGAI, tbh.


----------



## seliph

Esphas said:


> lgbt people aren't accepted by cishets so they need that community
> ace people are accepted so they don't need the community
> i'm a cis gay male and i don't care if they're excluded or not personally because i'm not involved with the community but i can see why they wouldn't want ace people joining them for no reason



My confusion is what can LGBT communities actually do for them other than say "yeah you exist", which we can already do without having them in our support groups and stuff? What else do cishet aces need support for?


----------



## moonford

I think asexual people and aromantic people should be included in the LGBT+ community, because I believe the community is about comforting minority sexualities, gender identities and so on. The LGBT+ community should be accepting of all the minority identities and sexualities with open arms even if they don't suffer nearly as badly as gay or trans people.

The community is about mutual understanding, respect and love so I don't think it's right to exclude asexual and aromantic people from that, even if they don't suffer like gay and trans people. I just repeated myself but I feel like it was necessary here.


----------



## Esphas

gyro said:


> My confusion is what can LGBT communities actually do for them other than say "yeah you exist", which we can already do without having them in our support groups and stuff? What else do cishet aces need support for?



i think it's about them wanting to be a part of something more than actually needing it. they don't don't benefit at all lol

- - - Post Merge - - -



Zendel said:


> I think asexual people and aromantic people should be included in the LGBT+ community, because I believe the community is about comforting minority sexualities, gender identities and so on. The LGBT+ community should be accepting of all the minority identities and sexualities with open arms even if they don't suffer nearly as badly as gay or trans people.
> 
> The community is about mutual understanding, respect and love so I don't think it's right to exclude asexual and aromantic people from that, even if they don't suffer like gay and trans people. I just repeated myself but I feel like it was necessary here.



ok. another point i'd like to make is minority=/=oppression. minorities who aren't oppressed do not need the lgbt community. the community was created because it was something that needed to be created. it's not about love and acceptance, it's about having a place where you're safe, which cisthet ace people already do


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> I think asexual people and aromantic people should be included in the LGBT+ community, because I believe the community is about comforting minority sexualities, gender identities and so on. The LGBT+ community should be accepting of all the minority identities and sexualities with open arms even if they don't suffer nearly as badly as gay or trans people.
> 
> The community is about mutual understanding, respect and love so I don't think it's right to exclude asexual and aromantic people from that, even if they don't suffer like gay and trans people. I just repeated myself but I feel like it was necessary here.



They are accepted if they're also LGBT. Straight isn't a minority though and I don't see how not thinking people are hot warrants needing LGBT support groups.



Esphas said:


> i think it's about them wanting to be a part of something more than actually needing it. they don't don't benefit at all lol



Basically my thoughts on it. Especially after the #GiveItBack campaign which, I'm not sure if anyone here knows of it but back in 2015, ace people threatened to stop supporting an LGBT activist groups for acknowledging the A stands for Ally (which it does, however "ally" was code for closeted LGBT people originally) and not Asexual. They threatened to stop supporting groups that helped LGBT people who were kicked out of their homes and without jobs just because they weren't included in an acronym.



Esphas said:


> it's about having a place where you're safe



EX!!! ACT!!! LY!!!


----------



## Ghost Soda

Wow, I can honestly say that this is the first I've heard about Ally being code for closeted LGBT people! That definitely makes A standing for Ally make a lot more sense as opposed to cishets wanting to shove themselves in the limelight!


----------



## seliph

Ghost Soda said:


> Wow, I can honestly say that this is the first I've heard about Ally being code for closeted LGBT people! That definitely makes A standing for Ally make a lot more sense as opposed to cishets wanting to shove themselves in the limelight!



Yeah unfortunately cishet people started thinking "wow that means me right :^)" and now people don't really use the A at all


----------



## tumut

gyro said:


> My confusion is what can LGBT communities actually do for them other than say "yeah you exist", which we can already do without having them in our support groups and stuff? What else do cishet aces need support for?


They probably want to meet more people like themselves. Even though the its built around support I don't think that's all it has to offer. 



I think LBGT needs to aim to become more casual and not a big deal. I hate it when ppl feel sorry for you or try to act like you're super interesting or controversial or some ****. Like no, I'm gay. That's literally it. Also gay/trans stereotypes need to die I feel like no one ever brings attention to that.


----------



## moonford

Okay whatever.


----------



## Bowie

Everyone needs a space to vent and I think a lot of people don't have a lot of friends to turn to or maybe don't have any friends that would understand what they're going through with their genders or their sexualities, so with that in mind I think everybody should be given an opportunity to contribute.


----------



## seliph

Bowie said:


> Everyone needs a space to vent and I think a lot of people don't have a lot of friends to turn to or maybe don't have any friends that would understand what they're going through with their genders or their sexualities, so with that in mind I think everybody should be given an opportunity to contribute.



Okay, I think everyone can agree with that however: what does being included in LGBT spaces or the LGBT acronym have to do with this? There are probably ace spaces online that these people can vent to. Even making a separate thread here would bring you support from both cishet people and LGBT people.

That's my main question for cishet ace people, and even aroace people. Say you're included in LGBT spaces already: What is the LGBT community supposed to do for you now exactly? We will already tell you that you're real, that you're valid, etc. You don't need to be in the acronym or have a physical group centre for that. So going further: you won't need LGBT spaces to house you after being kicked out for your sexuality. You won't need LGBT spaces to help you look for LGBT friendly jobs, since you won't be denied jobs for being aro/ace. So what is it cishet aces and aroaces need other than us saying "Yeah asexuality is a real thing", which we already do regardless?


----------



## Bowie

I don't think it makes a huge difference whether you're part of it or not, actually. It certainly hasn't done me any favours (or brought me any problems). I'm not really bothered.

If it makes people happy or feel included, I guess good for them. Just let people be.


----------



## piichinu

Zendel said:


> I think asexual people and aromantic people should be included in the LGBT+ community, because I believe the community is about comforting minority sexualities, gender identities and so on. The LGBT+ community should be accepting of all the minority identities and sexualities with open arms even if they don't suffer nearly as badly as gay or trans people.
> 
> The community is about mutual understanding, respect and love so I don't think it's right to exclude asexual and aromantic people from that, even if they don't suffer like gay and trans people. I just repeated myself but I feel like it was necessary here.


 
i totally agree! i always cringe when i see people equating the lgbt community into a competition of oppression.
asexual people are not accepted by society all the time. they are subjected to corrective rape and emotional abuse, among other things. for example, in some cultures where marriage and childbirth is very important, there's no damn way an asexual person can do anything about the way they are. they will be forced into things they are uncomfortable with. i say this because as someone with a middle eastern ethnicity, forced marriages and being forced to have children is a really common thing around me (regardless of gender identity/sex). if an asexual person says they're asexual they are very likely to get emotionally abused as well, especially by families who may deem it a "shame" to their honor. in a relationship, an asexual person may often get coerced into sexual activity with their partner or guilted into it so they can stay together (this is rape btw, but different from corrective rape, which is where theyll force them to have sex with someone to prove that they really do "like" it). an asexual person tells their friends they're asexual; 1. theyll have no idea what the **** that means, or 2. they'll be shunned because its weird and u shud LUV sex!!!11 (this example i recently witnessed at my school by overhearing a conversation). younger asexuals when found out will 100% probably feel pressured ALL the time cuz u knw how teenagers are. then there's the fact that asexuality is treated as an illness. and im sure there are more examples but i CBA to think rn.

what do you notice about all these problems asexual people face?  the fact that other members of the lgbt community face them too! corrective rape, bullying, invalidation, etc. so what's the problem here? do they need to be oppressed more to be included? this aint a ****in competition/oppression olympics or whatever you want to call it. just because other members of the community face more problems DOES NOT mean others should be excluded. then yall act like asexuals are satanic just because a few are *******s and some are intrusive cishetero people. guess what, there are misogynistic gay men, there are biphobic lesbians, there is **** in almost every group of people. i think people are far too clouded by their hatred of heterosexual people so they enjoy dumping it onto asexuals in any way they possibly can.

why would being included in the lgbt community help asexuals? maybe they want to find other asexuals to talk with. maybe non-aro aces want to date someone who doesnt want sex in a relationship. maybe they want to feel like theyre not "broken" for being asexual. maybe they want to be with people who recognize that being asexual is actually a thing, and wont be told that they will change when they find "the one?" i understand these reasons may seem trivial compared to the reasons other lgbt community people have. but that's not the issue. again, it's not a competition. they want support just like anyone else. 

i personally, am asexual and aromantic. i dont luv anyone never have and never will. i have gotten **** from people after finding out im asexual.
"oh, did a boy break your heart?"
"you will change your mind when you find the one :)"
"have u gone to a doctor? (<--this one was legit unironic from an adult)"
now this **** tbh it doesn't affect me. im rich, im hot, ive got a strong personality so i can stand up for myself and people let me do whatever the **** i want without repercussions. its my privilege. but it's not the same way for other people. some people, after hearing those things over and over again, after experiencing far worse things than i have, will be affected by it. they will be hurt emotionally, they will be depressed, they will feel disgusted with themselves, they will have debilitating low self-esteem BECAUSE of their sexual identity. and that's why its important to include people into the lgbt community. ive said this like 10 times, but it is N O T  A  C O N T E S T or a race to whoever gets hurt the most badly. point is, asexual people face hurdles because of their sexuality. it shouldn't be ignored. and tbh, maybe they would be worse off than they are now if the average person actually knew what the **** being asexual actually is. :)

ps - i dont wantw to be in the community not only cos i dont need it bc of the reasons i said above but also bc its so toxic and many people in it are just annoying as ****.

- - - Post Merge - - -

side note, i once rejected some weird 25 yr old boy and i told him i was asexual and he said "no one will ever love you."
also another time i made some neckbeard mad he said "i bet u dont have a boyfriend cuz u cant get one, not bc ur asexual." 

so , there's that .


----------



## seliph

badgrl2 said:


> why would being included in the lgbt community help asexuals? maybe they want to find other asexuals to talk with. maybe non-aro aces want to date someone who doesnt want sex in a relationship. maybe they want to feel like theyre not "broken" for being asexual. maybe they want to be with people who recognize that being asexual is actually a thing, and wont be told that they will change when they find "the one?" i understand these reasons may seem trivial compared to the reasons other lgbt community people have. but that's not the issue. again, it's not a competition. they want support just like anyone else.



But again... why the LGBT community? Why not the ace community? Why _specifically_ the LGBT community? Cishet non-ace people get bullied and invalidated for other reasons as well, and they definitely shouldn't be in the LGBT community.

As for corrective rape, LGBT centres will redirect you to rape support groups and/or therapy regardless so once again, the LGBT community isn't providing ace people a service they couldn't necessarily get anywhere else.

No one's treating the community as an oppression contest and no one's saying ace people don't have to deal with a load of nonsense, for lack of a better term. We're saying that for one cishet ace and aroace people just straight up aren't oppressed at all, and for two the LGBT community doesn't have anything to offer them anyways other than maybe validation? Which, again, you don't need to be part of the community to get.


----------



## visibleghost

i don't think the ppl who dont want cishet aces in the lgbtq community feel that way bc they hate aces or w/e it's literally just that cishets are cishets  no matter how much or little sex they have. you can add a bunch of labels to your sexuality if you want to idc but that doesnt mean that someone's not cishet because they decided decided that they dont want to id as straight so they (a cis girl) calls themself androsexual (aka attracted to men/masculinity which in this case means Straight) or something.
use whatever words you want but you dont stop being cishet bc you describe how often you have sex or if you prefer men with or without beards in your sexual identity.
i get that some people might feel like their identity is overlooked when they're called cishet and they actually identify as asexual heteroromantic but i mean,. you only say cishet if you were talking about ace stuff, you'd say cishet aces/aros But when asexuality isn't relevant to the topic i don't see why anyone would need to specify that someone is ace or aro...?

if youre a cishet ace you can go to ace only spaces, you dont need to be in lgbtq spaces especially not if youre going to complain about the ppl in there being and discussing lgbtq....... (like ppl who go to support groups for lgbtq ppl and dont want anyone to discuss sex or romance or to show any pda. like... dude way 2 b Bad.)

i personally dont have a problem with cishet aces being involved in the lgbtq community as long as they "know their place" (idk how to put it but, like, as long as theyre respectful n stuff lmao). but cishets shouldnt be in certain spaces (like support groups where allies arent welcomed, ace cishets dont Belong there.)
there have been problems with asexual people being Bad in the community so i get why many non ace/aro lgbtq people feel uncomfortable with cishet aces trying to be in the community.

also @ other ppl in the thread who said theyre aro and ace: do u feel like you need to be in the community? or, like, idk but im aroace and i dont feel like i need to be in lgbtq spaces bc im aroace, it just feels kinda out of place for me but im wondering if you all feel any different. 
idk i kinda think that there needs to be an ace community and i think it is great that the community can exist within other communities and that people there learn about aro and ace stuff but i feel like being ace/aro doesnt automatically put you in any other communities than the ace community.


----------



## visibleghost

badgrl2 said:


> i totally agree! i always cringe when i see people equating the lgbt community into a competition of oppression.
> asexual people are not accepted by society all the time. they are subjected to corrective rape and emotional abuse, among other things. for example, in some cultures where marriage and childbirth is very important, there's no damn way an asexual person can do anything about the way they are. they will be forced into things they are uncomfortable with. i say this because as someone with a middle eastern ethnicity, forced marriages and being forced to have children is a really common thing around me (regardless of gender identity/sex). if an asexual person says they're asexual they are very likely to get emotionally abused as well, especially by families who may deem it a "shame" to their honor. in a relationship, an asexual person may often get coerced into sexual activity with their partner or guilted into it so they can stay together (this is rape btw, but different from corrective rape, which is where theyll force them to have sex with someone to prove that they really do "like" it).



those are good points but that's almost exclusively about rape and sexual abuse, wouldnt it be better if ace people had their own space where they could talk about those things? corrective rape happens to lgbtq people as well but being sga is about a lot more than sexual abuse so it kinda feels like it'd be a better idea to have ace people come together. i know i personally would feel worse if went to some support group to feel less weird (or whatever) and all the people there could bond over being attracted to people they're not "supposed" to be attracted to when my issue is that i'm not attracted to anyone (so i still feel weird in that space because my issues are different from their issues.) it just doesn't seem like that would benefit anyone imo.
i think it would be better to have an ace only space instead of trying to put ace people in the same community as sga ppl, lol, like even in ace/aro spaces i have felt weird or not understood because most people in them weren't both aro and ace, and i don't think i would feel more understood if i were talking about being aroace in a community that is mostly centered around being attracted to people.




			
				badgrl2 said:
			
		

> an asexual person tells their friends they're asexual; 1. theyll have no idea what the **** that means, or 2. they'll be shunned because its weird and u shud LUV sex!!!11 (this example i recently witnessed at my school by overhearing a conversation). younger asexuals when found out will 100% probably feel pressured ALL the time cuz u knw how teenagers are. then there's the fact that asexuality is treated as an illness. and im sure there are more examples but i CBA to think rn.


it's true that asexuality is ignored and that people don't know anything about it but i don't think that means we're lgbtq...? everyone should learn about aro/ace stuff in sex ed, there needs to be more awareness about aro/ace things and people need to be less ignorant about it but that doesn't mean that the ace community and the lgbtq community are similar enough to be one community imo.




			
				badgrl2 said:
			
		

> what do you notice about all these problems asexual people face?  the fact that other members of the lgbt community face them too! corrective rape, bullying, invalidation, etc. so what's the problem here? do they need to be oppressed more to be included? this aint a ****in competition/oppression olympics or whatever you want to call it. just because other members of the community face more problems DOES NOT mean others should be excluded. then yall act like asexuals are satanic just because a few are *******s and some are intrusive cishetero people. guess what, there are misogynistic gay men, there are biphobic lesbians, there is **** in almost every group of people. i think people are far too clouded by their hatred of heterosexual people so they enjoy dumping it onto asexuals in any way they possibly can.


now youre the one making this all about oppression by saying that bc ace ppl face many of the same issues ppl in the lgbtq ppl do we're lgbtq. i agree that many ace discoursers are crappy and people shouldnt be horrible to each other but having cishet people in the lgbtq community makes many ppl feel unsafe and i don't think it's because people hate aces or w/e it's just that being aro/ace and being lgbtq are very different things and that many cishet aces act exactly like other cishets do.




			
				badgrl2 said:
			
		

> why would being included in the lgbt community help asexuals? maybe they want to find other asexuals to talk with. maybe non-aro aces want to date someone who doesnt want sex in a relationship. maybe they want to feel like theyre not "broken" for being asexual. maybe they want to be with people who recognize that being asexual is actually a thing, and wont be told that they will change when they find "the one?" i understand these reasons may seem trivial compared to the reasons other lgbt community people have. but that's not the issue. again, it's not a competition. they want support just like anyone else.


having an ace community is important but it can be separate from the lgbtq community. obviously it's important that everyone knows that ace people exist and that they arent broken for not being attracted to people and ace issues have to be talked about more but that doesnt mean that the lgbtq community is where ace people belong.




			
				badgrl2 said:
			
		

> i personally, am asexual and aromantic. i dont luv anyone never have and never will. i have gotten **** from people after finding out im asexual.
> "oh, did a boy break your heart?"
> "you will change your mind when you find the one :)"
> "have u gone to a doctor? (<--this one was legit unironic from an adult)"
> [...]
> side note, i once rejected some weird 25 yr old boy and i told him i was asexual and he said "no one will ever love you."
> also another time i made some neckbeard mad he said "i bet u dont have a boyfriend cuz u cant get one, not bc ur asexual."


people need to be educated more on ace issues but i dont think anyone here is saying that being ace or aro means that your life is perfect and that you dont get any negative responses from society. 

also ive heard those kinda things too and other variations of it lmao why do ppl exist. i usually don't tell people im aro ace i just say i'm not in love, i don't have a crush on anyone and that i never have experienced any romantic attraction ever and then people start w the whole "stop lying  we know you like somebody :3" or "aww, you just havent found the right one yet" like yea ok thx but no.
the funniest ones are people who say im aro ace because i've been abused when i was aroace before it even happened like..... great logic my dude....,




			
				badgrl2 said:
			
		

> now this **** tbh it doesn't affect me. im rich, im hot, ive got a strong personality so i can stand up for myself and people let me do whatever the **** i want without repercussions. its my privilege. but it's not the same way for other people. some people, after hearing those things over and over again, after experiencing far worse things than i have, will be affected by it. they will be hurt emotionally, they will be depressed, they will feel disgusted with themselves, they will have debilitating low self-esteem BECAUSE of their sexual identity. and that's why its important to include people into the lgbt community. ive said this like 10 times, but it is N O T  A  C O N T E S T or a race to whoever gets hurt the most badly. point is, asexual people face hurdles because of their sexuality. it shouldn't be ignored. and tbh, maybe they would be worse off than they are now if the average person actually knew what the **** being asexual actually is. :)
> 
> ps - i dont wantw to be in the community not only cos i dont need it bc of the reasons i said above but also bc its so toxic and many people in it are just annoying as ****.



it is extremely important that ace people have a community where they feel safe n stuff but why should it be in the lgbtq community when we are so different.  like, not being lgbt doesnt mean u cant have a community u know?

it's great that u feel ok abt not being in the lgbtq community but it's not that great to say that the entire community is toxic lol. there are problematic aspects to it (like w all communities) and i get that ppl are upset bc of ace discourse but the lgbtq community is huge and it's mostly not about ace or aro stuff so judging the entire community based on some aro ace stuff isnt rly fair imo


----------



## toonafeesh

visibleghost said:


> also @ other ppl in the thread who said theyre aro and ace: do u feel like you need to be in the community? or, like, idk but im aroace and i dont feel like i need to be in lgbtq spaces bc im aroace, it just feels kinda out of place for me but im wondering if you all feel any different.


I think I mentioned it earlier but yeah I'm with you on this, I don't feel the need to be included in the community.

I actually had no idea the A stood for Allies and read somewhere it was Asexual, never looked further into it.. but I was really confused because it seemed out of place. I'm probably? more neutral about it, but I definitely lean towards the "not important to be included in the LGBT community" side.

Being included in a community feels nice (NO ONE LIKES BEING LEFT OUT RITE) but at the same time it's like.. are we really supposed to be part of the community? It's great to meet others who are more understanding/open to other orientations and stuff, but at the same time it doesn't mean everyone in the LGBT comm is accepting (like someone mentioned there's biphobic lesbians etc). It's better off being in the ace community. I'm guessing because the ace community isn't exactly prevalent (I think??) like the LGBT community, we just kinda include ourselves in there instead? Like, "hey it's a bigger community meaning there must be a lot of understanding/accepting people" thing. I'm not really sure if this applies to everyone, but that's how I see it.


----------



## seliph

The LGBT community has a lot of its own intracommunity issues; misogynistic gay men was already mentioned, and there's also biphobia from LGs, transphobia from LGBs, and racism - especially antiblackness - across the whole board. The ace community also has its own homophobia problem. All communities are toxic in some form.

On the topic of anti-blackness in the LGBT community BLM was on the news just now and my stepsister felt the need to say "I don't agree with how they do things, they shouldn't have stopped Pride" and I just got so annoyed, like why do straight white girls with colourful undercuts always think they have a say in LGBT issues? Pride has a huge history of putting white gay people on a pedestal and glossing over the lives of black trans people (namely women) and black gay people. If she actually listened to what they had to say she'd know that.

Sorry that was kind of unrelated but I needed to vent about that somewhere 'cause I'm tired of The Straights.


----------



## Brookie

gyro said:


> All communities are toxic in some form.
> 
> On the topic of anti-blackness in the LGBT community BLM was on the news just now and my stepsister felt the need to say "I don't agree with how they do things, they shouldn't have stopped Pride" and I just got so annoyed, like why do straight white girls with colourful undercuts always think they have a say in LGBT issues? *Pride has a huge history of putting white gay people on a pedestal and glossing over the lives of black trans people (namely women) and black gay people.* If she actually listened to what they had to say she'd know that.
> 
> Sorry that was kind of unrelated but I needed to vent about that somewhere 'cause I'm tired of *The Straights*.



While I understand, because one of my best friends is in one of these categories, but cannot truly understand since ya know I'm not LGBTQA - I don't really like the term: "The Straights"...it's kind of dehumanizing, I guess? That's like saying "the Gays". It doesn't sound right :c


----------



## himeki

brookesierra7 said:


> While I understand, because one of my best friends is in one of these categories, but cannot truly understand since ya know I'm not LGBTQA - I don't really like the term: "The Straights"...it's kind of dehumanizing, I guess? That's like saying "the Gays". It doesn't sound right :c



The Straights =/= straight people
The Straights™ are really annoying straight people who are like "NO HOMO!!11" or think they have a say in LGBT rights despite being cishet
straight people are fine, gyro is refering to Steryotypical Straight People™


----------



## seliph

brookesierra7 said:


> While I understand, because one of my best friends is in one of these categories, but cannot truly understand since ya know I'm not LGBTQA - I don't really like the term: "The Straights"...it's kind of dehumanizing, I guess? That's like saying "the Gays". It doesn't sound right :c



Basically what himeki said but even if someone doesn't add a quirk to "straight people", LGBT people have every right to be annoyed with straight people (and/or cis people) in general and we shouldn't be antagonized for venting our frustrations. If we say "straight people" or "The Straights" or "straighties" and what we are talking about does not apply to you, then it isn't about you.

Basically, if you want to be an ally and you see someone vent about "the straights doing x homophobic thing", instead of going "well _I'm_ not like that" you should step back and think "hm, as an ally, how can I use my own straight privilege to prevent other straight people from thinking like this and doing these things?"


----------



## visibleghost

^ adding on to what gyro and himeki said "The Straights" and  other stuff like it are kind of a response to how ignorant cishets keep talking about "the Gays" or "the Transsexuals" (. lol )  amd stuff like that. kinda like how people say stuff about straight couples being too intimate and that theyre shoving their sexuality down everyone's throats by looking at each other because thats what The Straights do to lgbtq people. i get it if you dont like it but i dont think anyone who's lgbtq likes to be treated rly badly all the time and imo it isn't rly fair that cishets are Still Learning when theyre being ignorant and homophobic/transphobic (so you're not supposed to get upset with them :^]) but if one lgbtq person says "straight ppl are unfortunate :/" everyone starts talking about heterophobia and that lgbtq ppl make cishets hate them by saying stuff like that lmao

i guess negativity isnt the best thing ever but cishets always expect lgbtq people to educate, be nice about being treated badly and have patience with them but if cishets want to talk about heterophobia and cisphobia because someone didn't feel like being a Good LGBTQ Person... (aka someone that has go educate everyone, be super nice, never be offended, not get angry, not call straight ppl out on being bad and also lol they have to accept that the cishet might disagree with their ~Lifestyle~ and that we need to accept transphobes and homophobes because theyre human too uwu)
like. please do Not. 

honestly im really really sick of cishets* lmao can i die

but as gyro said if youre not a Cishet™ you dont need to feel targeted because it is probably not about u


*disclaimer: this was not written with the intent of offending any cisgender heterosexual person. i accept everyone for who they choose to be and i have never in my entire life been cis- or heterophobic. i have cisgender heterosexual friends. my words were simply an expression of frustration, though i have to admit that it was not worded in a smooth and non-discriminatory way and for that i apologize. the next time i want to vent my feelings about certain individuals on an online platform i will make sure to be less ignorant and offensive so that i don't commit the grave crime of hetero- or cisphobia ever again.
if you feel i did offend or discriminate you even though that never was my intention please do hit the report button so you can tell the mods exactly why i, a known heterosupporter, should be banned for my sins. thank you


----------



## Brookie

gyro said:


> , LGBT people have every right to be annoyed with straight people (and/or cis people) in general



But Gyro, I don't believe you should just be annoyed with us in general - as not all of us are like that. Again, I'm a minority and I see what my "fellow others" are trying to get at while saying we have every right to be annoyed with non-minorities - but in all reality, not all of them are of ill-intent, sure everyone biases, and a great majority of people are bigots/biased - some actually genuinely do not mean any harm. and definitely not getting mad at 100% of the non-minority population for something their ancestors did. At first, I thought: ok ok so it's just a term used for the annoying percent of us, but then when you said what you just said in the quote, I got a little idk....

Yes you should voice your frustrations, and yes you should speak out about what is bothering you and not always have to be nice and not annoyed, but no you cannot be annoyed with the whole 100% percent of a group of people when some of them literally did nothing wrong.

i actually get just as annoyed with people being mean/ridiculous about the LGBT community. first off being LGB is not a "lifestyle" it's just a sexuality and shouldn't be treated as something abnormal.


----------



## himeki

brookesierra7 said:


> But Gyro, I don't believe you should just be annoyed with us in general - as not all of us are like that. Again, I'm a minority and I see what my "fellow others" are trying to get at while saying we have every right to be annoyed with non-minorities - but in all reality, not all of them are of ill-intent, sure everyone biases, and a great majority of people are bigots/biased - some actually genuinely do not mean any harm. and definitely not getting mad at 100% of the non-minority population for something their ancestors did.
> 
> i actually get just as annoyed with people being mean/ridiculous about the LGBT community. first off being LGB is not a "lifestyle" it's just a sexuality and shouldn't be treated as something abnormal.



you're literally pulling a "NOT ALL STRAIGHT PEOPLE! UWU" on us you know that right?


----------



## Brookie

I read that part, and I am aware some would have said/thought that, but that is not what I said.

Gyro said: we have every right to be annoyed with straight people.

Gyro did not say: we have every right to be annoyed with the bad, annoying, and bigoted straight people.


----------



## himeki

brookesierra7 said:


> I read that part, and I am aware some would have said/thought that, but that is not what I said.
> 
> Gyro said: we have every right to be annoyed with straight people.
> 
> Gyro did not say: we have every right to be annoyed with the bad, annoying, and bigoted straight people.



But we do have a right to be annoyed with straight people? For hundreds of years, LGBT people have been ridiculed, murdered, shamed, kicked out of families, etc just for being gay, so I think we have a right to be annoyed at straight people?


----------



## Brookie

Okay, then I and all other minorities have every right to be annoyed with white people. 
If you agree with this statement, and you are indeed a non-minority, then I don't know what to say. But you are probably not going to, because it is a ridiculous statement.
That's not how I feel but that's an example. Please take these kinds of things into account.
I would never say this, because it could be taken out of context, I would say "I have every right to feel disgust towards racist bigots." See the difference? I'm just trying to get across how it sounds and feels.

African Americans have been enslaved by Caucasians, hate murdered, have been victims of hate crimes, have been lynched in the past, have been seen as inferior, denied jobs JUST for being african-american (and we can't just "hide it" either) and SO many other things, but I am in no way hating 100% of caucasians for something only some of them and their ancestors do/did.

Or if you're going to bring up the "bringing race into everything" argument, then I have every right to be annoyed with men, because of past oppression.

And You're right. LGBT people have been through all those things, but did I, my sisters, my mom, my dad, my best friends do this? No.  We are just your everyday "straights". And you guys have been discriminated against, but did I, my sisters, and my friends do this? Not at all.

*Note: I do not feel that way about both non-oppressed groups at all. In fact I get annoyed when the same people say these things about them.*


----------



## Jeremy

Everyone, please do not post hateful or discriminatory comments against entire groups of people.  Even if the group is a majority, it's still discrimination.  Unfortunately, if this keeps happening we'll have to close the thread.  It's a bit ironic that this has to be said in a thread like this.  The thread is titled "discussion and support," but hating other people isn't a way to support anyone.


----------



## tumut

Wow this thread has literally become ace discourse lite?


Anyway does anyone else hate gay hookup culture


----------



## seliph

brookesierra7 said:


> I read that part, and I am aware some would have said/thought that, but that is not what I said.
> 
> Gyro said: we have every right to be annoyed with straight people.
> 
> Gyro did not say: we have every right to be annoyed with the bad, annoying, and bigoted straight people.



This is why we are annoyed with straight people. Rather than take into account our struggles and why straight people as a whole can make us uncomfortable, you'd rather talk over us and pull a "we aren't all like that".

_We know you aren't all like that_, however we still have to be cautious around ALL straight people because a lot of you _are_ like that and we have no way to know if you're an ally or not until we get to know you.

Also POC do have every right to be annoyed with white people as well lol.



tumut said:


> Wow this thread has literally become ace discourse lite™
> 
> 
> Anyway does anyone else hate gay hookup culture



I feel like I agree but I'd also like more specifics of what you mean about it



Jeremy said:


> Everyone, please do not post hateful or discriminatory comments against entire groups of people.  Even if the group is a majority, it's still discrimination.  Unfortunately, if this keeps happening we'll have to close the thread.  It's a bit ironic that this has to be said in a thread like this.  The thread is titled "discussion and support," but hating other people isn't a way to support anyone.



Did some more stuff happen while I was out or are you saying "The Straights" is discriminatory lol


----------



## seliph

double


----------



## Brookie

Okay, well I can sympathize with the "feeling uncomfortable part" and sorry if It seemed like I was trying to talk over you, that wasn't my intent at all.

And I can also sympathize with having to be cautious. I guess we should end the debate here.


----------



## moonford

If I met a straight person and at a certain point they said some homophobic crap I would walk away from them, end of story.
I don't feel uncomfortable around straight people until they give me a reason to, there's no point in judging people before you get to know them otherwise you'll probably struggle meeting straight people if you think like this. 

Not all straight people are like this luckily, it's nice to see good eggs be supportive of my sexuality even if they don't understand it fully.


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> If I met a straight person and at a certain point they said some homophobic crap I would walk away from them, end of story.
> I don't feel uncomfortable around a straight person until the give me a reason to, there's no point in judging people before you get to know them otherwise you'll probably struggle meeting straight people if you think like this.
> 
> Not all straight people are like this luckily, it's nice to see good eggs be supportive of my sexuality even if they don't understand it fully.



I'm suspicious around everyone until they prove to me that I shouldn't be and I'm ok like this because then I don't get my hopes shattered and I don't feel bad dropping them.

Side note I read your last bit as "it's nice to see eggs be supportive of my sexuality" and was hilariously confused til I read it over 3 times oops


----------



## moonford

Is this thread glitching too?


----------



## MorphiGalaxi

People are people.

It shouldnt matter how they feel, who they like or love or their sexual identity. Shouldnt matter if theyre straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, ace, or anything else. They are who they are, and should be accepted for who they are. 

Sadly this cannot be a reality due to hating on others by some rather angry people with very close minded views. 

Hopefully someday everyone can be accepted as just "a person", instead of some seeing them as different or wrong based on sexual orientation or race. Everyone can identify as whatever they like, its _their_ life, _their_ choice and how _they_ feel. 

Everyone has the right to be how they were born spiritually and express who they are.


----------



## moonford

I'm not particularly fond of this thread anymore, I find it to be in bad taste because of the last few pages.

So I'm going to avoid it now, unless it stays true to the title which it currently isn't doing. It's more of a hate thread against straight people at the moment rather than LGBTQA *support* and discussion. 

_Bigoted_ straight people are the problem not straight people.


----------



## piichinu

tumut said:


> Wow this thread has literally become ace discourse lite™
> 
> 
> Anyway does anyone else hate gay hookup culture



did you mean: Michael

---

also about asexuals ppl having a community outside of the LGBT i don't see a problem with that at all but is there really a solid one rn

- - - Post Merge - - -

also i was moisturizing my face so i didnt get a chance to say this but 

is it only heteroromantic asexuals people have a problem with? <--- i understand the complaints about this one very well but i dont really see the problem with a non-cishet asexual being in the lgbt community at all, and if the problem is only just with cishet aces i dont think all aces should be excluded because of that? or is that not what people are saying


----------



## Trundle

badgrl2 said:


> is it only heteroromantic asexuals people have a problem with? <--- i understand the complaints about this one very well but i dont really see the problem with a non-cishet asexual being in the lgbt community at all, and if the problem is only just with heterosexual aces i dont think all aces should be excluded because of that? or is that not what people are saying



I think it widely varies, generalizing is pretty hard to do with LGBT community


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> _Bigoted_ straight people are the problem not straight people.



When we say straight people we are talking about bigoted straight people. It's not rocket science that not all straight people are bigoted and we really shouldn't have to clarify.



badgrl2 said:


> is it only heteroromantic asexuals people have a problem with? <--- i understand the complaints about this one very well but i dont really see the problem with a non-cishet asexual being in the lgbt community at all, and if the problem is only just with cishet aces i dont think all aces should be excluded because of that? or is that not what people are saying



That's pretty much exactly it, sorry if it wasn't clear before.


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> When we say straight people we are talking about bigoted straight people. It's not rocket science that not all straight people are bigoted and we really shouldn't have to clarify.
> 
> 
> 
> That's pretty much exactly it, sorry if it wasn't clear before.



Mkay sure.


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> Mkay sure.



If you really think people venting about + being uncomfortable with their oppressors is "straight hate" then idk what to say, that's on you.

?\_(ツ)_/?


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> If you really think people venting about + being uncomfortable with their oppressors is "straight hate" then idk what to say, that's on you.
> 
> ?\_(ツ)_/?



I originally thought you were talking about all straight people which I found to be ridiculous. 

I think people ranting and being uncomfortable is valid against the people who are actually oppressing them.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Do you really think I would have a problem with people being uncomfortable around bigots?


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> I originally thought you were talking about all straight people which I found to be ridiculous.
> 
> I think people ranting and being uncomfortable is valid against the people who are actually oppressing them.



Nah, I talk in the general sense a lot. And I mean _a lot_, with everything.

If I say "you" I tend to mean anyone in general who fits what I'm describing, if I say "x group of people" I mean, again, anyone who actually fits the problem and not necessarily the group in its entirety.

When people refer to straight people (or any group for that matter) like The Straights or The Straights™ it usually means the bad ones.


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> Nah, I talk in the general sense a lot. And I mean _a lot_, with everything.
> 
> If I say "you" I tend to mean anyone in general who fits what I'm describing, if I say "x group of people" I mean, again, anyone who actually fits the problem and not necessarily the group in its entirety.
> 
> When people refer to straight people (or any group for that matter) like The Straights or The Straights™ it usually means the bad ones.



Okay.

I don't want people thinking I am a self hating gay person who wants people to hate on his own community, that would be pretty sad.

I don't want people to think I'm like Milo Yiannopoulos, like nobody wants to be associated with him, *nobody*. lmfao.


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> Okay.
> 
> I don't want people thinking I am a self hating gay person who wants people to hate on his own community, that would be pretty sad.
> 
> I don't want people to think I'm like Milo Yiannopoulos.



I didn't really get that feeling from you, though I've also never talked to you before (I think?) so I didn't really have much of an impression.


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> I didn't really get that feeling from you, though I've also never talked to you before (I think?) so I didn't really have much of an impression.



Nah you have, I changed my username.

And thank goodness that I didn't seem that way.


----------



## piichinu

w h i t e f l a m i n g o


----------



## moonford

badgrl2 said:


> w h i t e f l a m i n g o



dun dun dun!!!!

yeah.


----------



## seliph

badgrl2 said:


> w h i t e f l a m i n g o



OH

_*
O H*_

Well I didn't think you were Milo Yabadabadoo to begin with either way


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> OH
> 
> _*
> O H*_
> 
> Well I didn't think you were Milo Yabadabadoo to begin with either way


If I was ever compared to him I would hide in the shadows.

Milo Yabadabadabooboodoo is a disgrace, I just don't understand him at all.


----------



## visibleghost

Jeremy said:


> Everyone, please do not post hateful or discriminatory comments against entire groups of people.  Even if the group is a majority, it's still discrimination.  Unfortunately, if this keeps happening we'll have to close the thread.  It's a bit ironic that this has to be said in a thread like this.  The thread is titled "discussion and support," but hating other people isn't a way to support anyone.



wait what who is hating straight people here? like can you actually say exactly what it is? it's not discrimination to be upset about oppressors oppressing u. i get that youre a mod and dont care about the actual discussion but lmao i need to ask 
this kinda is a perfect example of straight people being offended and comparing it to oppression against lgbtq people. i get that people dont like to hear that stuff and maybe ppl feel that some things being said were too harsh but when there is a post talking about how oppressed straight ppl are by the lgbtq community suddenly a lot more people show that they care. it'd be cool if people cared as much about lgbtq people, especially in a thread for lgbtq people but yeah no let's focus on the evil transgenders and gays who dont support their supporters.

idk if people think ppl are hating every single straight person personally but like..?? thats not the case lol??? i hate the society straight people have created and are reinforcing, i hate how cishet ppl are allowed to be ignorant about stuff but lgbtq people cant be ignorant, i hate how straight people and the straight society generally treats lgbtq infividuals. i dont hate every straight person on a personal level lmao

also can people actually reply to specific posts instead of crying about heterophobia


----------



## Bowie

I remember watching a short film once about a world in which being straight was something that people looked down upon instead of the other way around, and I could genuinely see that becoming a reality someday, and that's coming from a gay person.

I feel like everyone should just try to get along with each other and accept each other for who they are without all the garbage about labelling and grouping. Nobody cares. Let people love, have sex with, not have sex with, dress, etc. how they want.

But the LGBT community is important in the same way that things like Black Lives Matter are important. Straight people don't need a gay pride movement and white people don't need to be reminded their lives matter.

I think it's perfectly fine for straight folks to come in and show their support, though. I don't think it makes people feel any less safe. If it does that's their problem for being on an online forum.


----------



## seliph

Bowie said:


> I remember watching a short film once about a world in which being straight was something that people looked down upon instead of the other way around, and I could genuinely see that becoming a reality someday, and that's coming from a gay person.



Are you serious lmao we're still getting murdered here but alright!

All of the actual "I hate straight people they deserve death!" people are teenagers on the internet who would trip over their own feet if they even tried to harm anyone.


----------



## Bowie

gyro said:


> Are you serious lmao we're still getting murdered here but alright!
> 
> All of the actual "I hate straight people they deserve death!" people are teenagers on the internet who would trip over their own feet if they even tried to harm anyone.



It'll happen when you and me are both gone. The world will have problems far beyond our comprehension, I think. Then again, sexuality will probably be the least of them. I'd like to hope things get better for everyone someday, though. We'll probably just get there and then the Earth will start to crumble, with our luck.


----------



## seliph

Bowie said:


> It'll happen when you and me are both gone. The world will have problems far beyond our comprehension, I think. Then again, sexuality will probably be the least of them. I'd like to hope things get better for everyone someday, though. We'll probably just get there and then the Earth will start to crumble, with our luck.



Don't be foolish my consciousness is going to be put into a robot and I will live forever.

But nah, it'll never happen. Any LGBT person capable of being a part of anything of the sort is smart enough to know that everything we fought for would do a 180 if they tried, considering we can't even say "The Straights" without 20 straight people thinking we're attacking them and saying "See? This is why I hate the home of sexuals".

I think what'll happen is the grumpy homophobic/transphobic parents and grandparents we see today will die out and the world will be a more accepting place since we have the right education on LGBT issues and identities now. We're going forward and we'll continue to do so. It's kinda sad to expect something so low from our community, who knows what it's like to struggle and burn in the first place.


----------



## visibleghost

Bowie said:


> It'll happen when you and me are both gone. The world will have problems far beyond our comprehension, I think. Then again, sexuality will probably be the least of them. I'd like to hope things get better for everyone someday, though. We'll probably just get there and then the Earth will start to crumble, with our luck.



lol ok but no 
cishets arent oppressed. tye lgbtq community doesnt want to oppress or kill cishets. we just want our rights but i guess if it's discrimination to cishets that lgbtq people get the rights and acceptance cishets have had all this time then so be it l m a o

- - - Post Merge - - -



gyro said:


> Don't be foolish my consciousness is going to be put into a robot and I will live forever.
> 
> But nah, it'll never happen. Any LGBT person capable of being a part of anything of the sort is smart enough to know that everything we fought for would do a 180 if they tried, *considering we can't even say "The Straights" without 20 straight people thinking we're attacking them and saying "See? This is why I hate the home of sexuals".*



ha ha well now youre being heterophobic because it is a heterosexual right to be homophobic and transphobic ?????? youre literally killing the straights by saying that i cant believe the evil lgbtqs are like this, i even boyght a rainbow backpack to support you guys


----------



## himeki

gyro said:


> Are you serious lmao we're still getting murdered here but alright!
> 
> All of the actual "I hate straight people they deserve death!" people are teenagers on the internet who would trip over their own feet if they even tried to harm anyone.



srsly there are still countries that have the death penalty for being gay so!!! 
also, i know the video bowie is refering to, and i think it was meant to say "this is the **** gay people have to go through" rather then "this is what will happen!!!!!!!!!!!" lmfao


----------



## KaydeeKrunk

Bowie said:


> I remember watching a short film once about a world in which being straight was something that people looked down upon instead of the other way around, and I could genuinely see that becoming a reality someday, and that's coming from a gay person.



I remember seeing that on facebook. If only that happened, get population under control.

But I also agree, like as long as you're not doing anything illegal(ya know besides the stupid laws that shouldn't exist) just let people live their own lives, it's nobodies business what someone's sexuality is besides their own!


----------



## tumut

Bowie said:


> I remember watching a short film once about a world in which being straight was something that people looked down upon instead of the other way around, and I could genuinely see that becoming a reality someday, and that's coming from a gay person.


This is kind of hilarious. Cishets will always be the majority, and I doubt any kind of radicalism could bring up something like that. 



gyro said:


> I feel like I agree but I'd also like more specifics of what you mean about it


Grindr/Hookup culture and the fact that there's a ton of gay guys who only care about sex. I mean there's nothing really wrong with it to an extent, but I just feel like it's something that's kind of tiring and annoying. Like how some guys won't even talk to you if you're not interested in hooking up or snapping them a pic of ur peen. Basically a lot of aspects of dating like getting to know someone or hanging out are becoming harder to find in the gay scene and it's mostly just fastforward to sex. I haven't experienced it first hand but I know a lot of people who are frustrated with it and I hear about and I think it's kind of sad. I'm not gonna go into too much more detail since this is a forum kiddos and I don't want an infraction.


----------



## Bowie

I think you guys are misinterpreting my point slightly but oh well.


----------



## visibleghost

Bowie said:


> I think you guys are misinterpreting my point slightly but oh well.



uh ok can u explain how


----------



## seliph

visibleghost said:


> i even boyght a rainbow backpack to support you guys



DYING



tumut said:


> Grindr/Hookup culture and the fact that there's a ton of gay guys who only care about sex. I mean there's nothing really wrong with it to an extent, but I just feel like it's something that's kind of tiring and annoying. Like how some guys won't even talk to you if you're not interested in hooking up or snapping them a pic of ur peen. Basically a lot of aspects of dating like getting to know someone or hanging out are becoming harder to find in the gay scene and it's mostly just fastforward to sex. I haven't experienced it first hand but I know a lot of people who are frustrated with it and I hear about and I think it's kind of sad. I'm not gonna go into too much more detail since this is a forum kiddos and I don't want an infraction.



Oh yeah definitely. Grindr especially is a cesspool of the toxicity in the gay community.
It sucks that the only places we can meet other people like us are either in alcoholic settings (clubs/bars) or a phone app full of the most racist gay guys on the planet who just wanna see you naked.



Bowie said:


> I think you guys are misinterpreting my point slightly but oh well.



What was your point then? Your own words were "I could genuinely see that becoming a reality someday" and we are responding to that.


----------



## MorphiGalaxi

I love donuts.

EDIT: Being a non-random-almost-troll-fangirl, and talking about this thread instead...

I dont like how its become kind of weird and there was the entire "the straights" argument thing (I understand why people could be mad at some of them and the hate they have endure because of the actions of some straight people, I also understand that those of you who said that were most likely not trying to stereotype any cishet people who are kind). 

I think we all should try and help this thread become more positive, arguments arent good for anyone.


----------



## seliph

Issi said:


> I love donuts.



Same

However, and this is a very controversial and possibly highly offensive opinion but: I hate Krispy Kreme


----------



## MorphiGalaxi

gyro said:


> Same
> 
> However, and this is a very controversial and possibly highly offensive opinion but: I hate Krispy Kreme


o.o Well, Im not a big fan of Tim Hortons, and they sell donuts XD


----------



## Legendery

Issi said:


> o.o Well, Im not a big fan of Tim Hortons, and they sell donuts XD



Yeah but they are going to have 99 cent iced coffees this summer, you gotta be a little excited for that.


----------



## tumut

gyro said:


> Oh yeah definitely. Grindr especially is a cesspool of the toxicity in the gay community.
> It sucks that the only places we can meet other people like us are either in alcoholic settings (clubs/bars) or a phone app full of the most racist gay guys on the planet who just wanna see you naked.


if only we evolved had a built in sixth sense that would allow us to identify gays this wouldn't be a problem

- - - Post Merge - - -

I still wonder about gaydar wow what a phenomenon


----------



## Corrie

Issi said:


> I love donuts.
> 
> EDIT: Being a non-random-almost-troll-fangirl, and talking about this thread instead...
> 
> I dont like how its become kind of weird and there was the entire "the straights" argument thing (I understand why people could be mad at some of them and the hate they have endure because of the actions of some straight people, I also understand that those of you who said that were most likely not trying to stereotype any cishet people who are kind).
> 
> I think we all should try and help this thread become more positive, arguments arent good for anyone.



While I don't agree with stereotyping cishet people, it's kinda ironic that they get all butthurt about it, meanwhile a lot of them stereotype minorities.


----------



## seliph

Issi said:


> o.o Well, Im not a big fan of Tim Hortons, and they sell donuts XD



How

Dare

You



tumut said:


> if only we evolved had a built in sixth sense that would allow us to identify gays this wouldn't be a problem
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> I still wonder about gaydar wow what a phenomenon



If only the gaydar was real and not a homophobic invention by demons who notice when a man has a "gay lisp"


----------



## MorphiGalaxi

gyro said:


> How
> 
> Dare
> 
> You



A familiy member got food poisoning from there twice, though not from donuts 




Corrie said:


> While I don't agree with stereotyping cishet people, it's kinda ironic that they get all butthurt about it, meanwhile a lot of them stereotype minorities.



Yeah, I think its wrong for anyone to stereotype anybody, but sometimes it just happens I guess. As long as ppl arent hateful or demeaning of cishet people.


----------



## pawpatrolbab

Tim Hortons is blessed bc it has food I can actually afford (99 cent donuts, plus 99 cent drink soon)


----------



## moonford

?

What even is this thread?

Chocolate? Donuts?


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> ?
> 
> What even is this thread?
> 
> Chocolate? Donuts?



Chocolate and doughnuts are LGBT culture


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> Chocolate and doughnuts are LGBT culture



Since when and how?


----------



## seliph

Zendel said:


> Since when and how?



Since now and because


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> Since now and because



-_-

Okay...that makes sense.


----------



## himeki

Donuts and chocolate are gay sorry I don't make the rules.


----------



## Jeremy

visibleghost said:


> wait what who is hating straight people here? like can you actually say exactly what it is? it's not discrimination to be upset about oppressors oppressing u. i get that youre a mod and dont care about the actual discussion but lmao i need to ask
> this kinda is a perfect example of straight people being offended and comparing it to oppression against lgbtq people. i get that people dont like to hear that stuff and maybe ppl feel that some things being said were too harsh but when there is a post talking about how oppressed straight ppl are by the lgbtq community suddenly a lot more people show that they care. it'd be cool if people cared as much about lgbtq people, especially in a thread for lgbtq people but yeah no let's focus on the evil transgenders and gays who dont support their supporters.
> 
> idk if people think ppl are hating every single straight person personally but like..?? thats not the case lol??? i hate the society straight people have created and are reinforcing, i hate how cishet ppl are allowed to be ignorant about stuff but lgbtq people cant be ignorant, i hate how straight people and the straight society generally treats lgbtq infividuals. i dont hate every straight person on a personal level lmao
> 
> also can people actually reply to specific posts instead of crying about heterophobia



I'm actually not a mod, I'm the owner of the site, therefore I decide what's allowed to be posted here.  Making these generalized negative statements towards entire groups of people is a form of discrimination. 

You haven't said that "the straight people who oppress us are unfortunate" or that "you're sick of a person who did something oppressive."  You made a very broad and generalized negative statement about an entire group of people, which is what discrimination is.  We've had numerous members come forward, both gay and straight, who find these comments offensive.

In the same way that we would take issue with someone posting about how they are "really sick" of gay people, we aren't okay with someone saying that they are "really sick" of straight people either. And it doesn't matter if one group is larger than the other, saying that all people of a certain race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or otherwise is "unfortunate" is definitely a discriminatory statement, which we don't allow here.

TBT is a forum comprised of many different groups of people, which is why we strive to make it a friendly environment for everyone.  If you want to use this forum, you have to listen to the staff and respect our rules, which are designed to create an environment that promotes non-hostile, inclusive, and substantive discussions. It's fine to talk about the people who try to oppress others and give support to one another, but nobody is allowed to post discriminatory comments towards any group of people on TBT.


----------



## seliph

Jeremy said:


> You haven't said that "the straight people who oppress us are unfortunate" or that "you're sick of a person who did something oppressive."



We did though. When there was confusion we quite clearly stated that we weren't talking about all straight people.

No one's discriminating against you or anyone here.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

Stick in some "feminist" hate comments about men and white people and this will basically be tumblr in a nutshell right now. XD


----------



## MorphiGalaxi

Jeremy said:


> I'm actually not a mod, I'm the owner of the site, therefore I decide what's allowed to be posted here.  Making these generalized negative statements towards entire groups of people is a form of discrimination.
> 
> You haven't said that "the straight people who oppress us are unfortunate" or that "you're sick of a person who did something oppressive."  You made a very broad and generalized negative statement about an entire group of people, which is what discrimination is.  We've had numerous members come forward, both gay and straight, who find these comments offensive.
> 
> In the same way that we would take issue with someone posting about how they are "really sick" of gay people, we aren't okay with someone saying that they are "really sick" of straight people either. And it doesn't matter if one group is larger than the other, saying that all people of a certain race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or otherwise is "unfortunate" is definitely a discriminatory statement, which we don't allow here.
> 
> TBT is a forum comprised of many different groups of people, which is why we strive to make it a friendly environment for everyone.  If you want to use this forum, you have to listen to the staff and respect our rules, which are designed to create an environment that promotes non-hostile, inclusive, and substantive discussions. It's fine to talk about the people who try to oppress others and give support to one another, but *nobody is allowed to post discriminatory comments towards any group of people on TBT.*



Thank you so much for saying this Jeremy, I feel like some people on this thread needed to hear that.
This website should be welcoming to everyone and people of all ages...


----------



## pawpatrolbab

Glad something has been said, hopefully the discussion here can be more positivity based!


----------



## Jeremy

gyro said:


> We did though. When there was confusion we quite clearly stated that we weren't talking about all straight people.
> 
> No one's discriminating against you or anyone here.



There are many examples of negative comments made towards a group of people in this thread.  Here are a few:



> Sorry that was kind of unrelated but I needed to vent about that somewhere 'cause I'm tired of The Straights.





> Basically what himeki said but even if someone doesn't add a quirk to "straight people", LGBT people have every right to be annoyed with straight people (and/or cis people) in general and we shouldn't be antagonized for venting our frustrations





> But we do have a right to be annoyed with straight people? For hundreds of years, LGBT people have been ridiculed, murdered, shamed, kicked out of families, etc just for being gay, so I think we have a right to be annoyed at straight people?





> ^ adding on to what gyro and himeki said "The Straights" and other stuff like it are kind of a response to how ignorant cishets keep talking about "the Gays" or "the Transsexuals" (. lol ) amd stuff like that. kinda like how people say stuff about straight couples being too intimate and that theyre shoving their sexuality down everyone's throats by looking at each other because thats what The Straights do to lgbtq people. i get it if you dont like it but i dont think anyone who's lgbtq likes to be treated rly badly all the time and imo it isn't rly fair that cishets are Still Learning when theyre being ignorant and homophobic/transphobic (so you're not supposed to get upset with them :^]) but if one lgbtq person says "straight ppl are unfortunate :/" everyone starts talking about heterophobia and that lgbtq ppl make cishets hate them by saying stuff like that lmao
> 
> i guess negativity isnt the best thing ever but cishets always expect lgbtq people to educate, be nice about being treated badly and have patience with them but if cishets want to talk about heterophobia and cisphobia because someone didn't feel like being a Good LGBTQ Person... (aka someone that has go educate everyone, be super nice, never be offended, not get angry, not call straight ppl out on being bad and also lol they have to accept that the cishet might disagree with their ~Lifestyle~ and that we need to accept transphobes and homophobes because theyre human too uwu)
> like. please do Not.
> 
> honestly im really really sick of cishets* lmao can i die
> 
> but as gyro said if youre not a Cishet? you dont need to feel targeted because it is probably not about u





> im Really Sick of cishets can they stop being like That* plz and thx



We wouldn't allow people to post these kinds of generalized, negative statements about "the gays," and the same goes for "the straights" or any other group of people.  Adding a disclaimer to the post about what you actually mean by "the straights" doesn't make it any different.  If someone said something about "the gays," there would certainly be expectations for us to take action.  It's not any different in this case, which is why this has been the one of most reported threads in the last week or so.  Overall, these types of posts go against the spirit of the thread and of the forum. 

As I said before, many members have taken offense to some of the things that have been posted here over the last few days, and we've seen a lot of very negative, sarcastic, and rude comments, going as far as trying to run a good intentioned person out of the thread and accusing them of having ulterior motives when posting supportive comments.  Maybe there are other forums or internet communities that allow this type of thing, but TBT isn't one of them.  We believe this thread could be a positive thing for the community to have and for people to come together to receive support, guidance, or to share stories, but we won't allow it or any thread to be used as a means to bash a group of people, and many members seem to be of the opinion that this is what it's become.  This really needs to end today.


----------



## Corrie

I feel like a lot of online gay people are becoming really aggressive and I feel like it doesn't help them educate the ignorant. It is true that there are those who are awful to gay people and seem to get away with it. But at the same time, it's wrong, isn't it? Being aggressive to try to gain respect isn't going to help and in fact, won't make people see your opinion(s). That's how I see it. Getting "payback on straight people" isn't the way to go, in my opinion anyway.

Assuming every straight person hates every non straight person is hilariously sad.


----------



## seliph

It is very different but you know what ok Jeremy. Thank you for making it clear that here, we care more about the feelings of The Straight People Who Oppress Us? (which they'll get over in 5 minutes) than about lgbt people's feelings and lgbt people being able to vent properly.

I don't get why these comments full of actual mockery are still on the thread:



Jake said:


> I'm adoptive trans because male bathroom are disgusting. So when I go out I use the females, and then when they like 'y u in here' i like 'o am transgender' they liek 'o'





00jachna said:


> I just found out im a *genderfluid-genderqueer-demisexual-foxkin-asexual-gay- attack helicopter*
> 
> It's really hard for me atm to keep all my feelings intact </333
> 
> society won't accept me for who i am ((
> 
> idk I might change tomorrow





Fearthecuteness said:


> Stick in some "feminist" hate comments about men and white people and this will basically be tumblr in a nutshell right now. XD



But these, being people VENTING, are the ones being pointed at for being "discriminatory":



gyro said:


> The LGBT community has a lot of its own intracommunity issues; misogynistic gay men was already mentioned, and there's also biphobia from LGs, transphobia from LGBs, and racism - especially antiblackness - across the whole board. The ace community also has its own homophobia problem. All communities are toxic in some form.
> 
> On the topic of anti-blackness in the LGBT community BLM was on the news just now and my stepsister felt the need to say "I don't agree with how they do things, they shouldn't have stopped Pride" and I just got so annoyed, like why do straight white girls with colourful undercuts always think they have a say in LGBT issues? Pride has a huge history of putting white gay people on a pedestal and glossing over the lives of black trans people (namely women) and black gay people. If she actually listened to what they had to say she'd know that.
> 
> Sorry that was kind of unrelated but I needed to vent about that somewhere 'cause I'm tired of The Straights.





visibleghost said:


> ^ adding on to what gyro and himeki said "The Straights" and  other stuff like it are kind of a response to how ignorant cishets keep talking about "the Gays" or "the Transsexuals" (. lol )  amd stuff like that. kinda like how people say stuff about straight couples being too intimate and that theyre shoving their sexuality down everyone's throats by looking at each other because thats what The Straights do to lgbtq people. i get it if you dont like it but i dont think anyone who's lgbtq likes to be treated rly badly all the time and imo it isn't rly fair that cishets are Still Learning when theyre being ignorant and homophobic/transphobic (so you're not supposed to get upset with them :^]) but if one lgbtq person says "straight ppl are unfortunate :/" everyone starts talking about heterophobia and that lgbtq ppl make cishets hate them by saying stuff like that lmao
> 
> i guess negativity isnt the best thing ever but cishets always expect lgbtq people to educate, be nice about being treated badly and have patience with them but if cishets want to talk about heterophobia and cisphobia because someone didn't feel like being a Good LGBTQ Person... (aka someone that has go educate everyone, be super nice, never be offended, not get angry, not call straight ppl out on being bad and also lol they have to accept that the cishet might disagree with their ~Lifestyle~ and that we need to accept transphobes and homophobes because theyre human too uwu)
> like. please do Not.
> 
> honestly im really really sick of cishets* lmao can i die
> 
> but as gyro said if youre not a Cishet? you dont need to feel targeted because it is probably not about u



Although, then again, maybe I do. In fact it's been made pretty clear now. Thanks.

-----



Corrie said:


> I feel like a lot of online gay people are becoming really aggressive and I feel like it doesn't help them educate the ignorant. It is true that there are those who are awful to gay people and seem to get away with it. But at the same time, it's wrong, isn't it? Being aggressive to try to gain respect isn't going to help and in fact, won't make people see your opinion(s). That's how I see it. Getting "payback on straight people" isn't the way to go, in my opinion anyway.
> 
> Assuming every straight person hates every non straight person is hilariously sad.



No one is "being aggressive to gain respect" here or assuming every straight person's a homophobe though? There were people getting their separate frustrations out and thats it, unless this was a general statement and not about this thread.


----------



## Corrie

gyro said:


> It is very different but you know what ok Jeremy. Thank you for making it clear that here, we care more about the feelings of The Straight People Who Oppress Us™ (which they'll get over in 5 minutes) than about lgbt people's feelings and lgbt people being able to vent properly.
> 
> I don't get why these comments full of actual mockery are still on the thread:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But these, being people VENTING, are the ones being pointed at for being "discriminatory":
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Although, then again, maybe I do. In fact it's been made pretty clear now. Thanks.
> 
> -----
> 
> 
> 
> No one is "being aggressive to gain respect" here or assuming every straight person's a homophobe though? There were people getting their separate frustrations out and thats it, unless this was a general statement and not about this thread.



Yeah, I was referring to people on Tumblr and stuff. My fault for not specifying that.


----------



## seliph

Corrie said:


> Yeah, I was referring to people on Tumblr and stuff. My fault for not specifying that.



It's fine

I kind of see what you're talking about but at the same time 1. I understand where they're coming from and 2. I don't think those people do much outside of tumblr anyways. Like I can't imagine them acting like that off of the internet so I'm not all that bothered by it, unless they take it too far and start sending death threats or something.


----------



## visibleghost

Jeremy said:


> There are many examples of negative comments made towards a group of people in this thread.  Here are a few:
> 
> We wouldn't allow people to post these kinds of generalized, negative statements about "the gays," and the same goes for "the straights" or any other group of people.  Adding a disclaimer to the post about what you actually mean by "the straights" doesn't make it any different.  If someone said something about "the gays," there would certainly be expectations for us to take action.  It's not any different in this case, which is why this has been the one of most reported threads in the last week or so.  Overall, these types of posts go against the spirit of the thread and of the forum.
> 
> As I said before, many members have taken offense to some of the things that have been posted here over the last few days, and we've seen a lot of very negative, sarcastic, and rude comments, going as far as trying to run a good intentioned person out of the thread and accusing them of having ulterior motives when posting supportive comments.  Maybe there are other forums or internet communities that allow this type of thing, but TBT isn't one of them.  We believe this thread could be a positive thing for the community to have and for people to come together to receive support, guidance, or to share stories, but we won't allow it or any thread to be used as a means to bash a group of people, and many members seem to be of the opinion that this is what it's become.  This really needs to end today.


u removed my disclaimer that i love straight ppl, doesnt that mean that everything mildly nrgative i said about them is excused 
 ii get that u can decide what is posted on this site and that the Spirit of This Forum is feeling offended bc of the Aura of this thread but if you want to stop discrimination there are better places to start 

and if we are supposed to be allowed to share our stories about being lgbtq we have to be able to share the stories about our experiences with discrimination. we have all said multiple times that this isnt about who cishets love or how they identify, it is about how so many cishets say and do discriminating things. our entire society is based on homophobia and transphobia. we cant live openly as who we are without having to be scared or deal with people saying discriminating things directly to us. all the systems are made for cishet people. all of this is reinforcedevery day and all cishet people have privileges over lgbtq individuals no matter how non trans- and homophobic they are.
youre talking about stereotyping an entire group ( .... ..  just like how cishets do to us.. maybe gay people are the real homophobes.. really makes you think :') ) but im talking about the straight society and how people reinforce all the stupid gender and sexuality thigns all the time. im not trying to get back at cishet people, im just writing about my negative experiences and yes i an upset about the cishet part because they are allowed to be ignorant because theyre cishet. i dont hate all cishets but i do hate the power they have and i hate how they can treat us badly. they dont have to care or be educated or be respectful because theyre cis and straight and that is accepted as the normal and true way to be in our society.

this isnt about this forum or thread only. it is everywhere. not allowing us to talk about the huge part disrimination plays in our lives is to silence us and try to show our situation in a better light. it is like straight allies going to pride and thinking theyre saints but then when russia opens concentration camps for gay men theyre quiet. it is like how my cishet friends love to talk about their "gaydar" and say "positive" (discriminating, creepy, stereotypical and fetishing) things about the people their "gaydar" says are gay but when my openly lesbian sister who is also their friend was threathened and called discriminating words they didnt do anything to support her, she had to stand up for herself without the Perfect Allies because the gay loving straights dont want to see the negative side of our lives. they love pride, gay bars, gay culture, gaydar, gay best friends and all that but they dont want to see the problems we face that they themselves are partly responsible for. im so sick of this

- - - Post Merge - - -



gyro said:


> It is very different but you know what ok Jeremy. Thank you for making it clear that here, we care more about the feelings of The Straight People Who Oppress Us™ (which they'll get over in 5 minutes) than about lgbt people's feelings and lgbt people being able to vent properly.
> 
> I don't get why these comments full of actual mockery are still on the thread:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But these, being people VENTING, are the ones being pointed at for being "discriminatory":
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Although, then again, maybe I do. In fact it's been made pretty clear now. Thanks.
> 
> -----
> 
> 
> 
> No one is "being aggressive to gain respect" here or assuming every straight person's a homophobe though? There were people getting their separate frustrations out and thats it, unless this was a general statement and not about this thread.


 
love how being transphobic is alright but talking about your personal negative expefiences with hundreds of cishet people (while clarifying that it isnt a hatred towards all cishet people, it is only about how they have treated you and are allowed to treat you, you are just not writing an entire paragraph about specific cishet people every time you mention them) is too mean lmao.

- - - Post Merge - - -

me: it would be great if people stopped killing lgbtq people
ppl in this thread: well but ok we have to focus on the extreme hatred and violence straight people face when lgbtq people are saying that they dont want us to kill lgbtq people ?????? 

it get that the tone of this thread might be too heated fof this forum but this is everywhere. it is tone policing and ignoring the problems we talk about because no one is replying to the actual problems we have talked about you have just said that it's offensive to say that cishet people oppress lgbtq people


----------



## Fearthecuteness

gyro said:


> It is very different but you know what ok Jeremy. Thank you for making it clear that here, we care more about the feelings of The Straight People Who Oppress Us? (which they'll get over in 5 minutes) than about lgbt people's feelings and lgbt people being able to vent properly.
> 
> I don't get why these comments full of actual mockery are still on the thread:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But these, being people VENTING, are the ones being pointed at for being "discriminatory":
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Although, then again, maybe I do. In fact it's been made pretty clear now. Thanks.
> 
> -----
> 
> 
> 
> No one is "being aggressive to gain respect" here or assuming every straight person's a homophobe though? There were people getting their separate frustrations out and thats it, unless this was a general statement and not about this thread.



How is the truth a mockery? I said the thing about tumblr because I'm reading exactly the same comments I've seen on tumblr over and over with so many minorities on there. Basically like what Corrie was saying, that's basically what it sounds like here (hence why Jeremy decided to say something). Hell, I'm not even straight and even I think some of these comments sounded passive aggressive like you're trying to provoke arguments and offend people here. 

If you're referring to me saying "feminists" like that then that's not mockery because I'm only talking about people who claim to be feminists but are actually passive aggressive to the oppressors and privileged people. Not real feminists.
Oh and the XD was intentionally used to make my comment light hearted as I wasn't trying to offend people here, just to make a point of what this thread has become. 

I apologise if it sounded like I was being offensive or anything.


----------



## visibleghost

Fearthecuteness said:


> How is the truth a mockery? I said the thing about tumblr because I'm reading exactly the same discussions I've seen on tumblr over and over with minorities on there. Basically like what Corrie was saying, that's basically what it sounds like here (hence why Jeremy decided to say something). Hell, I'm not even straight and even I think some of these comments sounded passive aggressive like you're trying to provoke arguments and offend people here.
> 
> If you're referring to me saying "feminists" like that then that's not mockery because I'm only talking about people who claim to be feminists but are actually passive aggressive to the oppressors and privileged people. Not real feminists.
> Oh and the XD was intentionally used to make my comment light hearted as I wasn't trying to offend people here, just to make a point of what this thread has become.
> 
> I apologise if it sounded like I was being offensive or anything.



the feminist thign here is exactly like the cishet thing we have said.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

visibleghost said:


> the feminist thign here is exactly like the cishet thing we have said.



What do you mean? What cishet thing? I just didn't want people to think I'm talking about real feminists here.


----------



## seliph

Fearthecuteness said:


> How is the truth a mockery? I said the thing about tumblr because I'm reading exactly the same comments I've seen on tumblr over and over with so many minorities on there. Basically like what Corrie was saying, that's basically what it sounds like here (hence why Jeremy decided to say something). Hell, I'm not even straight and even I think some of these comments sounded passive aggressive like you're trying to provoke arguments and offend people here.
> 
> If you're referring to me saying "feminists" like that then that's not mockery because I'm only talking about people who claim to be feminists but are actually passive aggressive to the oppressors and privileged people. Not real feminists.
> Oh and the XD was intentionally used to make my comment light hearted as I wasn't trying to offend people here, just to make a point of what this thread has become.
> 
> I apologise if it sounded like I was being offensive or anything.



You were mocking peoples' reactions by saying we sound like the people you were describing, and in my opinion it definitely looked like you were trying to start something.

Also like VG said, people misinterpreting your "feminist" in quotes thing is _exactly_ like people misinterpreting our use of "Straight People"


----------



## visibleghost

Fearthecuteness said:


> What do you mean? What cishet thing? I just didn't want people to think I'm talking about real feminists here.



the discussion about Hating All Cishets lol many ppl have said that it isnt about "good" cishets (like u did w feminists)


----------



## seliph

Now that I think about it, people mock and belittle tumblr users, feminists (as well as whatever their own opinion of "fake feminists" are), and SJWs on here all the time but I guess it's only discriminating if it is something involving straight people.


----------



## Fearthecuteness

visibleghost said:


> the discussion about Hating All Cishets lol many ppl have said that it isnt about "good" cishets (like u did w feminists)



Ok but if I was talking about real feminists I wouldn't have put quotation marks. I also wasn't there putting general statements like "feminists are annoying" or "I hate feminists" or something like that. I mentioned about them giving hate comments about majorities which is something real feminists don't do. Since real feminists don't do that and treat everyone equally (and the fact I'm mentioning tumblr which is known for fake feminists) I thought it'd be obvious that I'm not talking about real feminists.


----------



## visibleghost

Fearthecuteness said:


> Ok but if I was talking about real feminists I wouldn't have put quotation marks. I also wasn't there putting general statements like "feminists are annoying" or "I hate feminists" or something like that. I mentioned about them giving hate comments about majorities which is something real feminists don't do. Since real feminists don't do that and treat everyone equally (and the fact I'm mentioning tumblr which is known for fake feminists) I thought it'd be obvious that I'm not talking about real feminists.



im not saying youre talking about real feminists


----------



## forestyne

feelsbad that i'm on here like once a month and can't ruffle up some jimmies :>

i joke about being gay but i'm actually bi. that way people think i'm joking lol

- - - Post Merge - - -

still in de nile


----------



## Corrie

I still tell people irl that I'm straight, even though I'm bi. I'm too embarrassed tbh and don't want people irl to bother me about it. I'm dating a guy so I could pass as straight to most people anyway but I sometimes wanna be able to talk about how lovely I think some girls are. ;w; such is life.


----------



## Bowie

I still haven't been able to come out (directly) to my mother. Like I've said before, it's kind of like everybody in my family already knows, but she seems to deliberately say homophobic things around me, I suppose in an attempt to scare me back into being straight or something. So, I'm out of the closet, but being pushed back into it, basically.

Everyone else in my life is cool with it, though. I wouldn't surround myself with or be friends with anyone who wasn't. But she's my mother, so it's a little more tricky than that.


----------



## moonford

gyro said:


> Now that I think about it, people mock and belittle tumblr users, feminists (as well as whatever their own opinion of "fake feminists" are), and SJWs on here all the time but I guess it's only discriminating if it is something involving straight people.



I don't think you are in the position to pass judgement on people who belittle or mock people when you are actively doing that in this thread and many other threads. 
I've seen you mention race in posts when it is completely unnecessary, you've said it directly to me as a matter of fact. I believe you said that I remind you of those *white boys* who complain a lot or something along this lines. You have a history of making insensitive comments involving peoples race and gender before just like now, so you definitely are in no position to say that.


And no it's not only "discriminating if it involves straight people", this forum does not allow any form of discriminatory content and I've seen many threads and users be shut down because of comments that spread hate against groups of people and other users who are part of those groups. I guess we should just ignore them because you aren't allowed to spread hate against straight people.
Then after you post those comments people confront you and you expect them to know that you're only talking about bigots? Yeah no, it looks like you're using it as a front to avoid being called out on the stuff you and many others have said on this thread so you can bash straight people as a whole.

I'm gay and I'm okay with straight people *but not straight people who are bigots.* That isn't hard to specify at all, all of this confusion and arguing would've been avoided if you were all clearer. 

I suggest this thread should be closed as the original intent of the thread has been ruined just like any thread on here that has good intentions but people feel like posting hateful comments to ruin it. I'm sorry if I appear to be rude, I'm just really disgusted by these hateful posts and the irony of this thread. Spread *love* not _hate_.

I shall avoid this thread if it isn't closed to be cleaned out or just closed, I suggest anybody who doesn't want to view these nasty comments to do the same.


----------



## Nightmares

Zendel said:


> I don't think you are in the position to pass judgement on people who belittle or mock people when you are actively doing that in this thread and many other threads.
> I've seen you mention race in posts when it is completely unnecessary, you've said it directly to me as a matter of fact. I believe you said that I remind you of those *white boys* who complain a lot or something along this lines. You have a history of making insensitive comments involving peoples race and gender before just like now, so you definitely are in no positions to say that.
> 
> 
> And no it's not only "discriminating if it involves straight people", this forum does not allow any form of discriminatory content and I've seen many threads and users be shut down because of comments that spread hate against groups of people and other users who are part of those groups. I guess we should just ignore them because you aren't allowed to spread hate against straight people.
> Then after you post those comments people confront you and you expect them to know that you're only talking about bigots? Yeah no, it looks like you're using it as a front to avoid being called out on the stuff you and many others have said on this thread so you can bash straight people as a whole.
> 
> I'm gay and I'm okay with straight people *but not straight people who are bigots.* That isn't hard to specify at all, all of this confusion and arguing would've been avoided if you were all clearer.
> 
> I suggest this thread should be closed as the original intent of the thread has been ruined just like any thread on here that has good intentions but people feel like posting hateful comments to ruin it. I'm sorry if I appear to be rude, I'm just really disgusted by these hateful posts and the irony of this thread. Spread *love* not _hate_.
> 
> I shall avoid this thread if it isn't closed to be cleaned out or just closed, I suggest anybody who doesn't want to view these nasty comments to do the same.



Can I just agree with this, LMAO


----------



## Brookie

I second what zendel says. My friend plays AC and is gay and wants to join this forum, but he's afraid cause he's read through this LGBT thread and he said he wouldn't feel welcomed. That's a bad sign.

@visibleghost, I am sorry But it almost sounds like you want every ally/non discriminating straight person to be perfect. And before you say we don't do anything, just like how I stood up for everyone bashing the straights, I will stand up for anyone bashing lgbtqa people, because it is a disgusting way to act. Bigotry is disgusting and people should be ashamed of themselves.

@Gyro, I actually have seen you say a lot about "the straights," but I decided to let it be because I wanted you guys to be able to vent and feel safe in your own space. It went terribly too far, and I had to say something. It sounds like you want to be able to bash and hate the straights in this thread without any repercussions, because it's an LGBTQA thread, and because you are part of the minority group. That's not how this works. My sisters would have confronted their own friends at BSU/BSA if they heard them talking that way about non-minorities, and the same applies for groups categorized by sexual/gender orientation.

And honestly guys, after this post - I'm not going to argue about this anymore. Unless you say something offensive, I will not say anything. Please just let this go and continue a positive thread unless you want it to be locked.


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## pawpatrolbab

I honestly hope the thread is locked or the hateful comments are cleared. It's bad when you start becoming exactly what you're fighting against. There's a big difference between venting about your issues and generalizing an entire group as something. Hopefully a new thread can be created where no group, a minority or not, will receive hate and we can all support each other.


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## Bowie

Certain people just need to be banned outright from posting in this thread and this thread can go back to the way it once was.


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## visibleghost

brookesierra7 said:


> @visibleghost, I am sorry But it almost sounds like you want every ally/non discriminating straight person to be perfect. And before you say we don't do anything, just like how I stood up for everyone bashing the straights I will stand up for anyone bashing lgbtqa people, because it is a disgusting way to act. Bigotry is disgusting and people should be ashamed of themselves.


if perfect means not a homophobe and transphobe then yeah i guess.

- - - Post Merge - - -

my examples were only one of many experiences like it. i understand that people can feel too scared to confront someone whos attacking an lgbtq person but what i mean is how some (/a lot of) people actively avoid confrontation, helping and supporting lgbtq people, they avoid anything thats not fun or happy or nice. then they pat themselves on the back and think theyre great people for not being a huge homophobe lol


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## Chris

The atmosphere in this thread is so tense and unwelcoming. A support thread where even LGBT+ users are afraid to post for fear of being attacked by people who are meant to be on 'the same side' is just sad.

Closing this here. But don't worry - it's not the end.


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