# Personal Feelings on TBT and recent negativity-- how to fix.



## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Started in the "Pet Peeves" thread, people started talking about recent personal negativity, to the point where they're debating on leaving. Since it's a conversation people were actually inputting feelings on, not just stating and leaving, and actually getting somewhere with, I think it's a good idea to discuss it here to prevent further off topic.

So let's get to some personal growth.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

Karla needed this.


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## CookingOkasan (Jun 15, 2014)

^^that's very unnecessary....^^


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Lately, pretty much everyone (myself included, let's not even lie) needs this.


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## Liquid Ocelot (Jun 15, 2014)

It's the internet. 

What would you like to do? Ban everyone who comes off a little cranky? 

If someone can't handle what is _mostly other people's drama_ by ignoring it or doing their own thing, then idk what they think they're doing on a forum or the internet in general.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

CookingOkasan said:


> ^^that's very unnecessary....^^



Well, it's true.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Revolver Ocelot said:


> It's the internet.
> 
> What would you like to do? Ban everyone who comes off a little cranky?
> 
> If someone can't handle what is _mostly other people's drama_ by ignoring it or doing their own thing, then idk what they think they're doing on a forum or the internet in general.



That's not what we're talking about though. We're not talking about banning anyone for being negative, but instead trying to expose our own personal faults and maybe get some community driven advice on how to fix the issue instead of ignoring that it's a problem. That kind of attitude is really what one of the issues is.. ignoring other peoples problems when they're part of your day to day life. Everyone should make an effort at least once a day to help someone out.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Oh, you didn't have to. I may have been being a bit picky, but you did, so I may as well christen it.

I'm massively depressive and bitter. I live a pretty dull shell. I have extensive self-doubt, and personal contempt. I let it show sometimes in my... glowing optimism, but I try not to let it dictate how I treat others. For awhile I was without many friends, and my healing and growth was stinted. Lately, however, as I've stated in the favourite members thread, I've met a lot of people here, and it's impressive to me that I'm actually able to stay. I want to come back each and everyday. I never wanted to stay like this, but I've gotten far too used to it.

I may be addicted because I'm starting to feel like myself again, and sometimes the pain just kind of gets lost in my head. It's nice. 

However lately I've been a bit of lull. I haven't had many people to talk to, but I accredit it to everyone being busy and me not being busy. I'm sort of like a mixed bag sometimes; at times I can be a smart ass, other times, I can be sweet. Not in extremes, but the swings are always there.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> Oh, you didn't have to. I may have been being a bit picky, but you did, so I may as well christen it.
> 
> I'm massively depressive and bitter. I live a pretty dull shell. I have extensive self-doubt, and personal contempt. I let it show sometimes in my... glowing optimism, but I try not to let it dictate how I treat others. For awhile I was without many friends, and my healing and growth was stinted. Lately, however, as I've stated in the favourite members thread, I've met a lot of people here, and it's impressive to me that I'm actually able to stay. I want to come back each and everyday. I never wanted to stay like this, but I've gotten far too used to it.
> 
> ...



I know I've been ignoring you a lot, because of work and trying to cram down as much of it as I can to assure a paycheck, but I really do feel bad about not being able to spend as much time with you as I used to. I miss when we used to just have silly conversations that weren't super-mega-deep and laughing at things, but like you said, we all go through our stuff and both of us have lately. I really hope you can find more people to be close to though, because your well-being worries me. I want you to feel welcome.


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## CookingOkasan (Jun 15, 2014)

Bowie said:


> Well, it's true.



I don't really know whatever _beef _you and han had going and it's not really anyone's place to ask about it but he's gone now and it's over and he was a friend to a lot of users. I'm going to go ahead and ignore this thread and bowie from now on since that's the suggested means of handling things. My personal fault is that I'm simply not a fan of bowie I will make a daily effort to help both of us out by appreciating the space between us and not crossing it. That's totally acceptable and understandable.


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## Trundle (Jun 15, 2014)

I haven't felt any negativity lately, especially in the IRC, which I find a great bonus. About negativity, I think the general boundary line if you're trying to not start a fight is, if you feel like the thing you're saying is not contributing to discussion, it will generally be negative. If you are criticizing people for their opinions by calling them names or saying their opinion is stupid, it is a surefire way to create tension between members. While discussing thoughts is perfectly fine, saying they are wrong just because you disagree is usually not.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

CookingOkasan said:


> I don't really know whatever _beef _you and han had going and it's not really anyone's place to ask about it but he's gone now and it's over and he was a friend to a lot of users. I'm going to go ahead and ignore this thread and bowie from now on since that's the suggested means of handling things. My personal fault is that I'm simply not a fan of bowie I will make a daily effort to help both of us out by appreciating the space between us and not crossing it. That's totally acceptable and understandable.



I'm fine with that, although sad we won't be able to have any kind of a relationship. I'm not going to repeat what Karla said to me, but, if you've already read through the conversion I had with him, you should be able to understand why I feel the way I do.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Cent said:


> I know I've been ignoring you a lot, because of work and trying to cram down as much of it as I can to assure a paycheck, but I really do feel bad about not being able to spend as much time with you as I used to. I miss when we used to just have silly conversations that weren't super-mega-deep and laughing at things, but like you said, we all go through our stuff and both of us have lately. I really hope you can find more people to be close to though, because your well-being worries me. I want you to feel welcome.



Ah, don't worry about it. I'm well versed on how nothing can remain too static. I need something to take up my time, is all. I'm happy you're busy and working hard. Please don't feel bad.


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## CookingOkasan (Jun 15, 2014)

Bowie said:


> I'm fine with that, although sad we won't be able to have any kind of a relationship. I'm not going to repeat what Karla said to me, but, if you've already read through the conversion I had with him, you should be able to understand why I feel the way I do.



I'm sure your frustration was warranted. I'm just a grump today for ~father's day~ reasons.

also agree with Alice


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Bowie said:


> I'm fine with that, although sad we won't be able to have any kind of a relationship. I'm not going to repeat what Karla said to me, but, if you've already read through the conversion I had with him, you should be able to understand why I feel the way I do.



Regardless, It's ironic you would do this. Let it go. Don't talk about Karla behind his back, please.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

CookingOkasan said:


> I don't really know whatever _beef _you and han had going and it's not really anyone's place to ask about it but he's gone now and it's over and he was a friend to a lot of users. I'm going to go ahead and ignore this thread and bowie from now on since that's the suggested means of handling things. My personal fault is that I'm simply not a fan of bowie I will make a daily effort to help both of us out by appreciating the space between us and not crossing it. That's totally acceptable and understandable.



I think the whole Karla thing needs to stop being brought up. I'm sorry everything had a falling out, but when it comes to two people not being able to work well with each other, it happens. You're more than welcome to keep contributing to the thread otherwise.



Trundle said:


> I haven't felt any negativity lately, especially in the IRC, which I find a great bonus. About negativity, I think the general boundary line if you're trying to not start a fight is, if you feel like the thing you're saying is not contributing to discussion, it will generally be negative. If you are criticizing people for their opinions by calling them names or saying their opinion is stupid, it is a surefire way to create tension between members. While discussing thoughts is perfectly fine, saying they are wrong just because you disagree is usually not.



I agree with this wholeheartedly, at the same time sometimes something needs to be said-- not criticism but critique. The general rule for critique is for everything bad you point out, you need to even it out with something good. There's been some tension lately, and I attribute some of it to mafia or just simply not feeling welcomed in new members cases. The mods have even started working on ways to try and make people more comfortable before something blows up. 

You're really lucky you haven't had any negative feelings. I'm glad everything is good with you though, it shows that there's some good happening from everything. About the irc, I've started to feel like it's spammy and some of the chat has just become impossible to get into from people being rude or unwelcome. That may be from my inability to be around all that often lately, however.



Alice said:


> Ah, don't worry about it. I'm well versed on how nothing can remain too static. I need something to take up my time, is all. I'm happy you're busy and working hard. Please don't feel bad.



We're still doing something for your birthday. Keep making a list of people and think about what you want to do so we can have some fun.


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## Stevey Queen (Jun 15, 2014)

I don't know if I completely understand the objective of this thread but I'll say something anyways

Up until a few days ago I really felt like leaving this forum. Not because anybody was mean to me but because I felt very lonely and an outcast on this forum. Nobody talked to me. And a lot of my posts are somewhat mean or stupid so usually nobody responds to me. So I felt like I was just wasting time on here.

But I been trying to be better by being kinder in my posts and talking to random people on this forum. And I'm hoping that one day I'll get on the IRC and communicate with people and get to know them better despite the fact that I have social anxieties and not good at conversing with other people.

Yah I don't know if that had anything to do with this thread but it said personal feelings and that's how I felt..


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Will do. I've been thinking about it.  







I kind of feel bad about nailing you down though. :x

- - - Post Merge - - -



LoveMcQueen said:


> I don't know if I completely understand the objective of this thread but I'll say something anyways
> 
> Up until a few days ago I really felt like leaving this forum. Not because anybody was mean to me but because I felt very lonely and an outcast on this forum. Nobody talked to me. And a lot of my posts are somewhat mean or stupid so usually nobody responds to me. So I felt like I was just wasting time on here.
> 
> ...



Yes, this fits in line with the threads purpose. The IRC can get kind of lively, I hope it doesn't scare you off.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

CookingOkasan said:


> I'm sure your frustration was warranted. I'm just a grump today for ~father's day~ reasons.
> 
> also agree with Alice





Alice said:


> Regardless, It's ironic you would do this. Let it go. Don't talk about Karla behind his back, please.



I understand.


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## Kildor (Jun 15, 2014)

LoveMcQueen said:


> I don't know if I completely understand the objective of this thread but I'll say something anyways
> 
> Up until a few days ago I really felt like leaving this forum. Not because anybody was mean to me but because I felt very lonely and an outcast on this forum. Nobody talked to me. And a lot of my posts are somewhat mean or stupid so usually nobody responds to me. So I felt like I was just wasting time on here.
> 
> ...


Join us in the IRC! I'm new to it too, but trust me the people there are super nice and funny haha. Irc u cray <3


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## Cory (Jun 15, 2014)

I still love everyone.


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## Liquid Ocelot (Jun 15, 2014)

Cent said:


> That's not what we're talking about though. We're not talking about banning anyone for being negative, but instead trying to expose our own personal faults and maybe get some community driven advice on how to fix the issue instead of ignoring that it's a problem. That kind of attitude is really what one of the issues is.. ignoring other peoples problems when they're part of your day to day life. Everyone should make an effort at least once a day to help someone out.




If you feed the negativity with attention, all it's ever going to do is get more overwhelming, especially in a community. 

Look at the drama this has attracted already. Would you care to help these people? Do you want to resolve every little scuffle by discussing the negativity instead of focusing on other _good_ things the community is capable of? To bring up the divides between people is just going to divide them even more, and probably provoke more hostility. Picking at old wounds and all that. 

This thread isn't some kind of group therapy session. It's an invitation for people to re-instigate and dig up drama that should have been buried and kept personal.

and personally, my fault is not accepting touchy-feely 'helping people' bullcrap in place of how this stuff actually gets resolved. 

But yo, I'm done hamming it up.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

Just to clarify, I think the creation of this thread was a very good idea. It gives people the opportunity to speak of events that they were, in a way, disallowed to speak of. Bottling up how you feel isn't healthy, and, I think it's important to work things out with people.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

LoveMcQueen said:


> I don't know if I completely understand the objective of this thread but I'll say something anyways
> 
> Up until a few days ago I really felt like leaving this forum. Not because anybody was mean to me but because I felt very lonely and an outcast on this forum. Nobody talked to me. And a lot of my posts are somewhat mean or stupid so usually nobody responds to me. So I felt like I was just wasting time on here.
> 
> ...



This is actually what the point of the thread is. You feel like you're lonely because of a lack of response.. 

The point is to have people talk about their anxieties, and not let other people reassure them per-se, but get to the point to where they feel comfortable again. You had something make you want to leave the forum.. that's serious in my book. Because of post volume a lot of people get skipped over, and I'm trying to make an effort to try and respond to as many people as I can. Everyone, no matter if I like them or not, or if they're not 'personal buds' with me deserves at least a minute of attention so the same thing doesn't happen to them. 

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. 



Alice said:


> Will do. I've been thinking about it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It's fast. Just don't get lost in it and if you feel like it's too much, take a breather, try and talk to one or two people specifically.



Revolver Ocelot said:


> If you feed the negativity with attention, all it's ever going to do is get more overwhelming, especially in a community.
> 
> Look at the drama this has attracted already. Would you care to help these people? Do you want to resolve every little scuffle by discussing the negativity instead of focusing on other _good_ things the community is capable of? To bring up the divides between people is just going to divide them even more, and probably provoke more hostility. Picking at old wounds and all that.
> 
> ...



That's a kind of "cover it with dirt and hope for the best" approach. I just don't believe in it myself. If it gets out of hand, the thread can be closed. It's not that big of a deal. 

I'm sorry you feel that way, but this thread hasn't really attracted drama per-se, simply one thing that was said about Karla, where the two people that were actually having the issue came to a middle ground about the issue and explained their standpoints. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If you don't like the subject matter of the thread or feel like this isn't the way you'd go about fixing an issue that's gotten worse over the past year, than that's what works best for *you.* I'm sure there are plenty of other threads on the forum that can better suit you as a person, if that's the case, and hope you the best of luck.


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## MrPicklez (Jun 15, 2014)

I'm not gonna lie and try to sugar coat stuff... I've been contemplating leaving as well. Especially as of late. There's just a few people on here and the IRC that consistently rub me the wrong way. Not to mention a few recent actions have pushed me to the point where I'm actually considering to do it. But the thing is, I don't wanna have to because I have a ton of people I actually do enjoy speaking with on here. Then there's those people who completely ruined the experience for me. Idk I'm just really stressed out as of late because of school and personal problems.

/rant


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## MisterEnigma (Jun 15, 2014)

I almost left this forum entirely to get away from the negative attitudes people have, but then I remembered that none of these people could affect me in any way personally whatsoever, and that if I had a problem with members, to just ignore them all together. They don't bother me, I don't bother them. And I don't ever have to worry about stepping on anyone's toes, since I hardly post and I loathe chat rooms. I just stick to drawing, it's all I'm decent for anyway. 






Also not sure if this was the intended purpose of the thread, I feel like there was something bigger going on with a certain group of members here? But I wasn't here when any of that happened and I don't know half of you anyways, but I hope whatever it is gets resolved because nobody has time for that kind of drama, especially on this cutie cute Animal Crossing forum.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> I almost left this forum entirely to get away from the negative attitudes people have, but then I remembered that none of these people could affect me in any way personally whatsoever, and that if I had a problem with members, to just ignore them all together. They don't bother me, I don't bother them. And I don't ever have to worry about stepping on anyone's toes, since I hardly post and I loathe chat rooms. I just stick to drawing, it's all I'm decent for anyway.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It was actually meant to be an all-around gripe thread, not specific to the latest drama, but certainly not excluding it. People just don't feel as welcome as they used to and it's rubbing off on everyone, even the old members. Maybe you should come hang out with us in the irc sometime, and be a part of the group. As an artist, I know how lonely it can get when you hole yourself up drawing all the time.



MrKisstoefur said:


> I'm not gonna lie and try to sugar coat stuff... I've been contemplating leaving as well. Especially as of late. There's just a few people on here and the IRC that consistently rub me the wrong way. Not to mention a few recent actions have pushed me to the point where I'm actually considering to do it. But the thing is, I don't wanna have to because I have a ton of people I actually do enjoy speaking with on here. Then there's those people who completely ruined the experience for me. Idk I'm just really stressed out as of late because of school and personal problems.
> 
> /rant



Maybe you could focus specifically on the people you care about and try and become closer to them. There's some people here that I'm not too fond of either, but at the same time I like to try and give everyone a chance and let the negatives roll off me. What it comes down to is you have enough on your plate with school and personal, so maybe trying to plan an activity with your friends may make you reconsider leaving?

What would make both of you reconsider leaving? What would both of you change to make the forum a friendlier place besides the people? I wish it wasn't a 'these people' issue, but if there was one thing other than that you could do, what would it be?


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## Flop (Jun 15, 2014)

I noticed when I first joined a few months ago, everyone was so happy and carefree, but now people are leaving all the time. It seems that Mafia has brought about a lot of bitter feelings among members, but I'm not here to attack Mafia. The negativity that everyone has been harboring seems to increase every day.  I really hate to see members I really like leave TBT, but I suppose not much can be done if certain members drive them up that point. I just wish that everyone could be friends with each other again.


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## Liquid Ocelot (Jun 15, 2014)

Cent said:


> That's a kind of "cover it with dirt and hope for the best" approach. I just don't believe in it myself. If it gets out of hand, the thread can be closed. It's not that big of a deal.
> 
> I'm sorry you feel that way, but this thread hasn't really attracted drama per-se, simply one thing that was said about Karla, where the two people that were actually having the issue came to a middle ground about the issue and explained their standpoints. I don't see anything wrong with that.
> 
> If you don't like the subject matter of the thread or feel like this isn't the way you'd go about fixing an issue that's gotten worse over the past year, than that's what works best for *you.* I'm sure there are plenty of other threads on the forum that can better suit you as a person, if that's the case, and hope you the best of luck.



I think it's more of a "let people sort themselves out by themselves / suck it up" approach, but- it's just so often I hear about net negativity and I think I just have more of a- harder(?) stance on these kinds of things. 

Maybe my pet peeve is just that I don't feel like people try hard enough to cut through the negativity to find their niche. It's like- a community-wide confidence problem. This isn't a bad place. People just seem to get blindsided by a few people that aren't even worth paying attention to. 

I'm just tired and I guess it just comes naturally to me to be- uh. Harsh.


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## MisterEnigma (Jun 15, 2014)

I'm not very good at fitting in in chats, I'm pretty anxious as is, so the intimidation of members who have been here longer combined with not having much in common with anyone is a pretty large hurdle for me to get over to even step into the chat honestly. Though that's more my problem than it is everyone else's, which is why I just keep to myself mostly. Though that are definitely quite a select few that do enjoy antagonizing I've noticed. The ACNL confession blog was pretty gross to look at on tumblr too, half of those messages are directed to specific members here. If people have honest to goodness problems with someone here, it should either be stated in a PM or just ignore that person that bothers you.


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## Cariad (Jun 15, 2014)

To be honest, i feel as if no one really wants to talk to me, blah blah blah. I feel this in real life too so it's not much different.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

MissNoodle said:


> To be honest, i feel as if no one really wants to talk to me, blah blah blah. I feel this in real life too so it's not much different.



I love you.


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## Liquid Ocelot (Jun 15, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> If people have honest to goodness problems with someone here, it should either be stated in a PM or just ignore that person that bothers you.



Readily agreed, m8.


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## Cariad (Jun 15, 2014)

Bowie said:


> I love you.



That honestly makes me cry of happiness.


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## Chibiusa (Jun 15, 2014)

I'm kind of amazed that people are contemplating leaving just because a few people rub them the wrong way. This is a forum--you don't have a gun to your head forcing you to talk to people you don't want to talk to. In life there's going to be plenty of people that don't like you and vice versa. You can't always just solve that by running away, especially in a place like, I don't know, the workplace. You just have to learn to either ignore it or not let it get to you and move on. They're just one person out of the hundreds that exist. You have to let the positive people overshadow the negative, and although that's not always easy, it's doable. 

I haven't made any friends on here because I don't really care to and I haven't actively tried to. That's not going to make me want to leave the forum. I like the community as a whole--that's what matters to me. I don't let the very small fraction of constantly negative/annoying people bother me--I just graze over their posts, mentally roll my eyes, and move on. With drama, it takes two, usually. Just don't get yourself involved and walk away from the matter and you're good. At least, in my experience.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

MissNoodle said:


> That honestly makes me cry of happiness.



As long as it makes you happy, darling.


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## f11 (Jun 15, 2014)

Chibiusa said:


> I'm kind of amazed that people are contemplating leaving just because a few people rub them the wrong way. This is a forum--you don't have a gun to your head forcing you to talk to people you don't want to talk to. In life there's going to be plenty of people that don't like you and vice versa. You can't always just solve that by running away, especially in a place like, I don't know, the workplace. You just have to learn to either ignore it or not let it get to you and move on. They're just one person out of the hundreds that exist. You have to let the positive people overshadow the negative, and although that's not always easy, it's doable.
> 
> I haven't made any friends on here because I don't really care to and I haven't actively tried to. That's not going to make me want to leave the forum. I like the community as a whole--that's what matters to me. I don't let the very small fraction of constantly negative/annoying people bother me--I just graze over their posts, mentally roll my eyes, and move on. With drama, it takes two, usually. Just don't get yourself involved and walk away from the matter and you're good. At least, in my experience.


This is true.


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## Yui Z (Jun 15, 2014)

I'm not entirely sure if I understand this thread properly, so I guess I'll post my thoughts..?

I don't usually like bothering people with my problems, so I try my best to express myself without making it obvious.
Like most people, I joined the forum with the big wave of New Leaf crossers. Since then, TBT has become more than a simple 'Animal Crossing place', but almost a support. Online friends are just as valuable to me as real real life ones, and there are pretty high limits/chances I'd take for them. 

I've never had the thoughts of leaving because I know I'd regret leaving behind so many wonderful friends. It's not something I'd want to do in real life, or online. 
Sometimes I randomly VM people who I've never spoken to before. Making new friends is something I'm working on, because it's one of my weaknesses.
Sure some people don't always answer and I may be ignored sometimes, but at least I had the chance to ask them how they're doing. c: A lot of the time I do get an answer though, and I've made a bunch of great friends because of it.

The sad thing is that as more people come, people start to go and move on. It's been more over the past couple of weeks that a lot of friends have left because of quarrels, negativity etc. I guess it's down to them though, and how they're feeling. 
I want people to be happy.

If I posted wrong or misunderstood, then oops sorry! =P Just thought I'd post my thoughts on the whole negativity, friends/fall-outs thing and what it means to me.

-----------------------
Oh and overall, I still see TBT as a nice community to be part of. It may be the stress of exams that are part of the whole negativity thing.

Edit, edit: I have no grudges against anyone here either ~ just saying! Sorry for my wall of text too. So many thoughts...


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## MisterEnigma (Jun 15, 2014)

On one hand I agree with Chibiusa, and on the other hand I don't. Yeah, in school and at your job, you are forced to deal with horrible people, that's life. But in your spare time, in the small fraction of your day when you just want to kick back and relax and I don't know, go to your favorite forum or social media site, who wants to deal with negativity and drama there too? That's like biting into pie only to realize its filled with nails. Nobody likes nails in pie. For a lot of people, the internet is a means of escape, and often the only means. Nobody is saying everyone has to be rainbows and puppies all the time, but to be treated decently might be an okay thing to shoot for on an Animal Crossing forum. I think that's mostly the point of this thread.


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## Improv (Jun 15, 2014)

I would just like to say it's hard to ignore some users that rub you the wrong way when they intentionally follow you to every thread you post in and try to knick at you.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Honestly, I just want people to be more comfortable. I don't mean to dig up negativity, but I want to try and help spin it into something positive. Ocelot, sometimes letting people sort something out for themselves makes it worse for them. For an introvert, that's a good way to approach things, but for extroverts that draw their energy from positivity around them sometimes talking about what's bothering them can help them come to a better conclusion on how to make their time here worthwhile.

When you think about it TBT is a time sink. In the long-run, you're not going to really do anything here that benefits you, and usually in a few years people realize that and leave. When you talk about things with the community and try and bring out something that brings people closer together as friends, that time sink becomes something worthwhile because you've made connections that really help you feel welcome and give you something to look forward to.

Chibiusa, it isn't only people rubbing people the wrong way that makes them want to leave. It's other stuff as well. The only way it can be fixed is if we know what the issues are. I like your post and you make a very good point, especially with real-world application. Most of our members are younger and don't truly understand you can't run away from your problems, though. Thank you for posting, even if you don't really care to make friends here. I think you underestimate that people may actually want to get to know more about you though.

MisterEnigma, I agree on what you say about confrontations. I admit I did make a confession on the TBT confessions blog, and I actually regret it immensely. It was dumb of me, and it wasn't something I should have done. We all make mistakes. When it comes to chatting, do what you're comfortable with, but if you need to talk there are people here that don't want to ignore you.

Flop, it's something that happens. There's groups of friends that have known each other for 20 years that start having this very same issue. I just think it needs to be an active participation on everyone's part to make everything work again.



MisterEnigma said:


> On one hand I agree with Chibiusa, and on the other hand I don't. Yeah, in school and at your job, you are forced to deal with horrible people, that's life. But in your spare time, in the small fraction of your day when you just want to kick back and relax and I don't know, go to your favorite forum or social media site, who wants to deal with negativity and drama there too? That's like biting into pie only to realize its filled with nails. Nobody likes nails in pie. For a lot of people, the internet is a means of escape, and often the only means. Nobody is saying everyone has to be rainbows and puppies all the time, but to be treated decently might be an okay thing to shoot for on an Animal Crossing forum. I think that's mostly the point of this thread.



This is exactly what the point of this thread is 



Yui Z said:


> I'm not entirely sure if I understand this thread properly, so I guess I'll post my thoughts..?
> 
> I don't usually like bothering people with my problems, so I try my best to express myself without making it obvious.
> Like most people, I joined the forum with the big wave of New Leaf crossers. Since then, TBT has become more than a simple 'Animal Crossing place', but almost a support. Online friends are just as valuable to me as real real life ones, and there are pretty high limits/chances I'd take for them.
> ...



Nice input. I'm glad you're not having any problems making friends. I'm not sure if it's exams or not. I haven't had to take any lately, but being tired does happen to everyone and it can really effect the way someone acts. You got the point right  Don't worry about it.


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## Kaiaa (Jun 15, 2014)

I feel like I've just been pretty rude and off the wall the passed few weeks, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like my normal self. I apologize if I've annoyed any of you or said rude things. I've tried my best not to but sometimes I just snap. I hope you all can forgive me. I know that it's my job to make the Bell Tree a fun place to be, not add to the negativity. 

If there is anything I can do myself to make experiences on the Bell Tree more pleasurable please don't hesitate to let me know.


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## Trundle (Jun 15, 2014)

Not going to quote Jamie's post because it's so long, but one thing that has stopped me from engaging in chat in the IRC lately is the lack of effort people put into talking. It actually bothers me a lot when people take up 4-5 lines to say one sentence and makes it tough to follow the conversation. That, and the lack of grammar personally bother me. They're all still great people, but my brain usually tends to skip over things like that, as I'm sure some people are similar to me in that sense.


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## MrPicklez (Jun 15, 2014)

Chibiusa said:


> I'm kind of amazed that people are contemplating leaving just because a few people rub them the wrong way. This is a forum--you don't have a gun to your head forcing you to talk to people you don't want to talk to. In life there's going to be plenty of people that don't like you and vice versa. You can't always just solve that by running away, especially in a place like, I don't know, the workplace. You just have to learn to either ignore it or not let it get to you and move on. They're just one person out of the hundreds that exist. You have to let the positive people overshadow the negative, and although that's not always easy, it's doable.
> 
> I haven't made any friends on here because I don't really care to and I haven't actively tried to. That's not going to make me want to leave the forum. I like the community as a whole--that's what matters to me. I don't let the very small fraction of constantly negative/annoying people bother me--I just graze over their posts, mentally roll my eyes, and move on. With drama, it takes two, usually. Just don't get yourself involved and walk away from the matter and you're good. At least, in my experience.



While I wholeheartedly agree with you on some of your points, it's completely different when you're in the same chat room every day with them. You can't really avoid anyone in there. Sure you can set them to "ignore" or whatever, but it's not gonna change the fact that those negative people are in there with you as well.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Kaiaa said:


> I feel like I've just been pretty rude and off the wall the passed few weeks, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like my normal self. I apologize if I've annoyed any of you or said rude things. I've tried my best not to but sometimes I just snap. I hope you all can forgive me. I know that it's my job to make the Bell Tree a fun place to be, not add to the negativity.
> 
> If there is anything I can do myself to make experiences on the Bell Tree more pleasurable please don't hesitate to let me know.



you've been a terrible person and I h8 u

... did you think I was serious?







don't worry about it Kaiaa. We all have our off periods.

p.s. u r a qtpie


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Kaiaa said:


> I feel like I've just been pretty rude and off the wall the passed few weeks, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like my normal self. I apologize if I've annoyed any of you or said rude things. I've tried my best not to but sometimes I just snap. I hope you all can forgive me. I know that it's my job to make the Bell Tree a fun place to be, not add to the negativity.
> 
> If there is anything I can do myself to make experiences on the Bell Tree more pleasurable please don't hesitate to let me know.



Isn't it weird that so much bad Juju has been going around though? I've personally snapped a few times in the last week which is one of the reasons I'm not here very much, and there's pretty much nothing but personal issues that have come up to warrant it.



Trundle said:


> Not going to quote Jamie's post because it's so long, but one thing that has stopped me from engaging in chat in the IRC lately is the lack of effort people put into talking. It actually bothers me a lot when people take up 4-5 lines to say one sentence and makes it tough to follow the conversation. That, and the lack of grammar personally bother me. They're all still great people, but my brain usually tends to skip over things like that, as I'm sure some people are similar to me in that sense.



Huh, I didn't realize that's why I didn't see you around so much anymore. Most of the time people see irc as a 'im' speedfire program, which is still kind of weird to me as it's been one of my main forms of communication for so long. I'll work on my grammar though, I tend to forget capitals and periods when I'm trying to type out an idea to keep up with the flow of chat. It's hard to moderate the irc to that specific point just because there's so much at once, but a higher quality really couldn't hurt.


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## Gnome (Jun 15, 2014)

I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Gnome said:


> I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.



Come back to us


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## Byngo (Jun 15, 2014)

For the most part, I find this community to be one of the better online forums out there. Usually I don't feel any negativity towards people and I don't feel negativity coming towards me. There are some exceptions to that of course - but any negativity usually blows over in a couple days. As for the IRC, sometimes I feel a little left out... Not all the time, I mean I'm usually amongst everyone talking, but for example: I asked a question yesterday and it was buried under another convo. I felt it would've been rude to just butt in so I left. ;_;

As for personal flaws, oh I'm sure there's many that I am aware of and aren't aware of. One that comes to mind is I can let petty things get me so enraged it's not even funny. Some people here probably know what I'm talking about when I say that I would get _quite_ worked up about TT'ing and wether it's considered cheating or not.


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## Lady Timpani (Jun 15, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> The ACNL confession blog was pretty gross to look at on tumblr too, half of those messages are directed to specific members here. If people have honest to goodness problems with someone here, it should either be stated in a PM or just ignore that person that bothers you.



That blog gave me such a negative view of TBT, it's ridiculous. For awhile I stayed clear of here because of it. I've found that, for the most part, people on here are cool. There are some negative people, but any online community has its idiots.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Natty said:


> For the most part, I find this community to be one of the better online forums out there. Usually I don't feel any negativity towards people and I don't feel negativity coming towards me. There are some exceptions to that of course - but any negativity usually blows over in a couple days. As for the IRC, sometimes I feel a little left out... Not all the time, I mean I'm usually amongst everyone talking, but for example: I asked a question yesterday and it was buried under another convo. I felt it would've been rude to just butt in so I left. ;_;
> 
> As for personal flaws, oh I'm sure there's many that I am aware of and aren't aware of. One that comes to mind is I can let petty things get me so enraged it's not even funny. Some people here probably know what I'm talking about when I say that I would get _quite_ worked up about TT'ing and wether it's considered cheating or not.



I'm sorry you feel left out. It's something I've noticed from a lot of people here... a main concern. There's a lot of threads even on the forum that are so one sided it feels like there's no point in posting because it's a 'me me me' thing. It's one of the situations I'm not happy with.. and it's difficult to find threads where you're actually going to get a real response most of the time.


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

Gnome said:


> I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.



You used to have an avatar of David Bowie, did you not? Bring it back, and we'll be friends for life.


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## Oblivia (Jun 15, 2014)

Overall, I think that TBT is a very positive and welcoming community, and I've enjoyed my time here immensely.  I'm part of many online communities, most if not all of which are far more negative and elitist than TBT.  I can't say that I haven't noticed a recent influx of negativity lately however, and I feel that it'd be difficult to pinpoint an exact cause with a community this size.  Perhaps it's due to the younger members being stressed about exams, or IRL issues that bleed into the interactions people have while online.  There's also the fact that it's very easy to let one or two negative people taint the entire vibe of a thread/conversation/etc., regardless of whether or not the majority of people have positive attitudes.  Whatever the reason, I think it's great that the staff is trying to get to the root cause and make some positive changes to the site.  

To the staff in particular - I've only had a few limited interactions with you, though they've always been positive ones.  I'm also part of the staff on a game-based website with a very large community, and I know how easy it is to become frustrated when you have frequent rulebreakers and complaints flooding in with seemingly no end, and when people become downright disrespectful and rude when you attempt to uphold rules that they don't agree with.  Being a moderator can be a thankless task at times, but just remember that there are people who look up to you and look to you for guidance and support.  I think that the lot of you do a great job (primarily Cent as you're the one I've dealt with any semblance of frequency) and are certainly more tolerant that the people I "work" with.  

As for me, I've always tried to be helpful and assertive with other members, though I have a manner of speaking that can be a bit too formal at times and could potentially be construed as standoffish.  There are a few people here on TBT who I'd love to get to know better, though I've made a habit out of keeping my online interactions strictly superficial/professional and this has stopped me from reaching out to a few of you.  I apologize if I've ever come off as disinterested when people are speaking to me (whether here on the forums or in IRC when I've been chatting), as it certainly isn't the case.  I definitely plan to work on this and hopefully can get to know some of you better in the near future.


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## epona (Jun 15, 2014)

i feel like maybe sometimes people try too hard to turn something harmless and small into a big debate/argument that ends up causing offence on both sides when it really just is so unnecessary
that really is all i have to say with regards to negativity on the forum, though
i don't really feel i have any _friends_ but that is my own fault for not taking time to approach people and strike up some sort of friendship with them, so negativity isn't to blame for that but lack of effort
the few times i have been on the IRC it seems like a very closed community and anything i said was kind of lost in the string of friends talking to eachother, but i don't think there's any way to rectify that and it's not a criticism, i just think a lot of people are intimidate by the IRC and probably are too nervous to put themselves out there for fear of being ignored/ridiculed
overall this forum is a welcoming and kind place to be


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## Pathetic (Jun 15, 2014)

natty ~
ive also felt left out alot in the irc sometimes, so i just didnt talk at all. but yeah, i was so happy when i got mk8 so i can finally stop being out when people play it.
But yeah, with the grammar issue, I apologize, I'll improve my grammar a little more, along w/o flooding the chat.


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## Oblivia (Jun 15, 2014)

epona said:


> the few times i have been on the IRC it seems like a very closed community and anything i said was kind of lost in the string of friends talking to eachother, but i don't think there's any way to rectify that and it's not a criticism, i just think a lot of people are intimidate by the IRC and probably are too nervous to put themselves out there for fear of being ignored/ridiculed
> overall this forum is a welcoming and kind place to be



You know, I do have to agree with you here.  While I personally have had no issues in IRC, I did witness a few things that were a bit unsettling (new members being brushed off, people being cursed at, etc.)  I mentioned this in a different thread a while back, and one member seemed to not only take offense to what I said, but to actually promote this type of behavior.  I do feel that this is something that should perhaps be addressed, as no one should be made to feel unwelcome or ignored, and certainly shouldn't be cursed at for merely greeting someone.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Oblivia said:


> You know, I do have to agree with you here.  While I personally have had no issues in IRC, I did witness a few things that were a bit unsettling (new members being brushed off, people being cursed at, etc.)  I mentioned this in a different thread a while back, and one member seemed to not only take offense to what I said, but to actually promote this type of behavior.  I do feel that this is something that should perhaps be addressed, as no one should be made to feel unwelcome or ignored, and certainly shouldn't be cursed at for merely greeting someone.



We do look at the IRC as a more 'adult' place to be. Cursing is allowed, but being rude to people IS NOT. If you ever find yourself in there and notice something like that again, please feel free to PM me on IRC with the situation. Rudeness is not tolerated, and a lot of the stuff in there that I've seen crosses from Adult to Ridiculous. 



alise said:


> natty ~
> ive also felt left out alot in the irc sometimes, so i just didnt talk at all. but yeah, i was so happy when i got mk8 so i can finally stop being out when people play it.
> But yeah, with the grammar issue, I apologize, I'll improve my grammar a little more, along w/o flooding the chat.



Thank you for putting the effort forwards. It shows you're willing to help and it's wonderful. As far as MK8 goes, I'm the same way. I don't have it and I also don't play mafia, so whenever it comes up I tend to avoid the chat since I'm not a fan of mafia anyway.



epona said:


> i feel like maybe sometimes people try too hard to turn something harmless and small into a big debate/argument that ends up causing offence on both sides when it really just is so unnecessary
> that really is all i have to say with regards to negativity on the forum, though
> i don't really feel i have any _friends_ but that is my own fault for not taking time to approach people and strike up some sort of friendship with them, so negativity isn't to blame for that but lack of effort
> the few times i have been on the IRC it seems like a very closed community and anything i said was kind of lost in the string of friends talking to eachother, but i don't think there's any way to rectify that and it's not a criticism, i just think a lot of people are intimidate by the IRC and probably are too nervous to put themselves out there for fear of being ignored/ridiculed
> overall this forum is a welcoming and kind place to be



I've heard this complaint about the IRC quite a bit, and most of the issue is the new person that joins in not joining in with the conversation, but instead keeping to themselves or not trying to be a part of the conversation at all. Splitting the chat is what makes it so hectic sometimes, but I'm sure if you type properly (Spelling, punctuation, grammar) people will actually take the time to read what you're saying. That's just how it is, and chatspeak tends to get ignored because it shows no effort. I'm not saying you specifically, but being intimidated by the IRC isn't that big of an issue anymore.



Oblivia said:


> Overall, I think that TBT is a very positive and welcoming community, and I've enjoyed my time here immensely.  I'm part of many online communities, most if not all of which are far more negative and elitist than TBT.  I can't say that I haven't noticed a recent influx of negativity lately however, and I feel that it'd be difficult to pinpoint an exact cause with a community this size.  Perhaps it's due to the younger members being stressed about exams, or IRL issues that bleed into the interactions people have while online.  There's also the fact that it's very easy to let one or two negative people taint the entire vibe of a thread/conversation/etc., regardless of whether or not the majority of people have positive attitudes.  Whatever the reason, I think it's great that the staff is trying to get to the root cause and make some positive changes to the site.
> 
> To the staff in particular - I've only had a few limited interactions with you, though they've always been positive ones.  I'm also part of the staff on a game-based website with a very large community, and I know how easy it is to become frustrated when you have frequent rulebreakers and complaints flooding in with seemingly no end, and when people become downright disrespectful and rude when you attempt to uphold rules that they don't agree with.  Being a moderator can be a thankless task at times, but just remember that there are people who look up to you and look to you for guidance and support.  I think that the lot of you do a great job (primarily Cent as you're the one I've dealt with any semblance of frequency) and are certainly more tolerant that the people I "work" with.
> 
> As for me, I've always tried to be helpful and assertive with other members, though I have a manner of speaking that can be a bit too formal at times and could potentially be construed as standoffish.  There are a few people here on TBT who I'd love to get to know better, though I've made a habit out of keeping my online interactions strictly superficial/professional and this has stopped me from reaching out to a few of you.  I apologize if I've ever come off as disinterested when people are speaking to me (whether here on the forums or in IRC when I've been chatting), as it certainly isn't the case.  I definitely plan to work on this and hopefully can get to know some of you better in the near future.



Thank you for the appreciation. You're right, staff is a thankless job, which is why I prefer to think of myself as a member with benefits. I don't think you sound cold or standoffish, or any of the ways you described the way you express yourself on the forum. You're a lovely person, and it's been a joy to work with you. I'm inclined to agree with a lot of the issues coming from personal issues for younger members, but I've also noticed some animosity towards a lot of the younger people because some don't really understand what it means to contribute diligently towards a community. I'm not saying all are like that, but it can be frustrating to see it over and over.


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## NikkiNikki (Jun 15, 2014)

Quick question: what is the IRC?

- - - Post Merge - - -

since almost all the posts mention it


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## Lauren (Jun 15, 2014)

Honestly, I've been feeling very happy recently, be it in IRC, Mumble or the boards. I haven't seen anything apart from a few spats that I hope will be resolved soon. 

I've been trying to be nicer, I don't think I've been mean in months! I'm genuinely happy! I really hope everyone else is!

- - - Post Merge - - -



NikkiNikki said:


> Quick question: what is the IRC?
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> since almost all the posts mention it



Internet Relay Chat. Its TBT's chat room you can find it here, you're more than welcome to come and chat! IRC <-- Clicky <3


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## Zanessa (Jun 15, 2014)

This website, for me, hasn't been the same since the whole cycling incident happened. People were so rude to the cyclers, and it was really 100% unnecessary. It could have been handled better, but people just wanted to put others down and called each other rude names. Some people who I called my friends left the website. 
It's also part of the reason I don't really play anymore. :/


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## Lauren (Jun 15, 2014)

ZanessaGaily said:


> This website, for me, hasn't been the same since the whole cycling incident happened. People were so rude to the cyclers, and it was really 100% unnecessary. It could have been handled better, but people just wanted to put others down and called each other rude names. Some people who I called my friends left the website.
> It's also part of the reason I don't really play anymore. :/



In this respect yes, this is true, although some of the cyclers were horrible to the moderators too so its 2 of one and half a dozen of the other.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

I wasn't really aware of the Cycling stuff, I tended to avoid it since to this day I'm still confused as to what it is. It just doesn't make much of any sense to me.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Cent said:


> I wasn't really aware of the Cycling stuff, I tended to avoid it since to this day I'm still confused as to what it is. It just doesn't make much of any sense to me.



It refers to the 16 villagers cycle. You can't have the same villager after they move out until you've had 16 other villagers move out. This forces them out of the the void and mainstreet pools and allows you to get the villager again. Cycling simply involves efficiently moving villagers in and out. Cyclers sometimes do it for free, other times the don't.


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## Caius (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> It refers to the 16 villagers cycle. You can't have the same villager after they move out until you've had 16 other villagers move out. This forces them out of the the void and mainstream pools and allows you to get the villager again. Cycling simply involves efficiently moving villagers in and out. Cyclers sometimes do it for free, other times the don't.



Yeah I never understood having preferred villagers. I like surprises.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Cent said:


> Yeah I never understood having preferred villagers. I like surprises.



Oh, and Jamie, baby.


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## f11 (Jun 15, 2014)

Mafia can make people..._salty_. A few months ago I joined the irc, but felt really left out due to cliques and stuff. But I started to be more open and add to conversations and just butt in randomly. And then I joined Mumble. Mumble was really nice and the people there,(Olive, Ashtot) welcomed me in. Although most people on irc probs wouldn't acknowledge me as their friend I kinda think we are friends. I do notice the cliques but I've never really noticed anyone really rude.


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

Most of the time, when I see that people are having a hard time connecting in the IRC, it's because they don't make too much of an effort, although it's not always like this. I've seen a couple people downright ignored which is pretty rude. There is an old saying that goes like this: "You can't bake a cake without all the ingredients". Basically, if someone wants to be included then they need to make an effort themselves to be included, AND, some of us IRC vets need to help them out as well. I generally make sure to welcome new people, and PM them to see if they have questions, and to reassure them because IRC can be really intimidating for some people, so if you guys want to help, that is definitely a good way.

As for the general negativity going on lately. Honestly, as much as I hate to blame Mafia for the negativity, I do think it is mostly because of it that some people are being so negative. Regardless of what we think, it rubs off on all of us, even in the slightest. Although, some people take it to farther extremes, we all need to be careful and keep what happens in Mafia, in it's place, and even tone down the way we can act in Mafia to begin with, because it gets really harsh.

One thing I've noticed just recently, is that people have been playing Mario Kart 8 a lot, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the chat is just filled with MK8 babble half the time. Mafia talk should also be in a separate channel which some of us have tried to enforce but failed. I'm not sure if there is a mod that can watch over the cellar/basement, but if there isn't, maybe one of the new/existing mods could do that? (you probably already thought of that) I find that sometimes the gaming talk in general can be a bit too much, ESPECIALLY for new users. They get completely turned off when games are going on in the IRC.

And again, I don't think that we can blame people for their negativity per say. I think that sometimes people are a bit too sensitive, but also that people can be a bit too harsh. There have been a few times (some recently) that I have seriously lost my cool and went all out on people, I'm not proud of it, but it is really hard to control sometimes when people can pretty much say whatever they want to you, and you can say whatever you want to them online.

A couple quick fixes for some of the negativity would be disclaimers in all Mafia games ensuring that people who are easily offended, etc. should probably steer clear, and enforcing gaming talk to switch to different channels, and even keep a single channel to use for certain events and/or Mafia games.

Hopefully with the new mods, some of this will be easier to do, and together we can help make this place more positive. I know for myself, I've some great friends, and love hanging out with people on the IRC. It's also great hanging out at the TBT Dance Party recently, which has had some really great turnouts and conversations.


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## ShinySandwich (Jun 15, 2014)

Please ban Cory, He's mean, this would fix everything


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## Lauren (Jun 15, 2014)

now I'm going to stop you here
"One thing I've noticed just recently, is that people have been playing Mario Kart 8 a lot, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the chat is just filled with MK8 babble half the time. Mafia talk should also be in a separate channel which some of us have tried to enforce but failed. I'm not sure if there is a mod that can watch over the cellar/basement, but if there isn't, maybe one of the new/existing mods could do that? (you probably already thought of that) I find that sometimes the gaming talk in general can be a bit too much, ESPECIALLY for new users. They get completely turned off when games are going on in the IRC."

we got shouted at for skyping, and told to keep it in irc and mumble..

- - - Post Merge - - -



ShinySandwich said:


> Please ban Cory, He's mean, this would fix everything



This isn't nice!


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## Cory (Jun 15, 2014)

ShinySandwich said:


> Please ban Cory, He's mean, this would fix everything



I use my voodoo black magic on you.


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

Lauren said:


> now I'm going to stop you here
> "One thing I've noticed just recently, is that people have been playing Mario Kart 8 a lot, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the chat is just filled with MK8 babble half the time. Mafia talk should also be in a separate channel which some of us have tried to enforce but failed. I'm not sure if there is a mod that can watch over the cellar/basement, but if there isn't, maybe one of the new/existing mods could do that? (you probably already thought of that) I find that sometimes the gaming talk in general can be a bit too much, ESPECIALLY for new users. They get completely turned off when games are going on in the IRC."
> 
> we got shouted at for skyping, and told to keep it in irc and mumble..
> ...



Personally I never agreed with the whole Skype clique controversy thingy. In my opinion, it was fine the way it is, but we're talking about trying to keep a positive atmosphere, and I'm just sharing my thoughts. I think it would definitely help, and I don't think keeping game event chat in a different channel is really that difficult.


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## ShinySandwich (Jun 15, 2014)

Lauren said:


> This isn't nice!



I was kidding,  why cant i make Cory jokes


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## Lauren (Jun 15, 2014)

Ashtot said:


> Personally I never agreed with the whole Skype clique controversy thingy. In my opinion, it was fine the way it is, but we're talking about trying to keep a positive atmosphere, and I'm just sharing my thoughts. I think it would definitely help, and I don't think keeping game event chat in a different channel is really that difficult.



I'm not trying to say you're wrong, I'm trying to say, we kept it in the irc because we were told we had a "clique" and we needed to involve everyone, now it seems, we can't win.. 

You're entitled to your opinion and honestly, i found skype better so i agree, but can you see where I'm coming from?


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

Lauren said:


> I'm not trying to say you're wrong, I'm trying to say, we kept it in the irc because we were told we had a "clique" and we needed to involve everyone, now it seems, we can't win..
> 
> You're entitled to your opinion and honestly, i found skype better so i agree, but can you see where I'm coming from?



Definitely, but there is really no other solution.


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## Lauren (Jun 15, 2014)

Ashtot said:


> Definitely, but there is really no other solution.



THERES NO WAY TO WIN, hehe! We'll see, we'll try and work it out to make everyone happy!


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## ShinySandwich (Jun 15, 2014)

ShinySandwich said:


> Please ban Cory, He's mean, this would fix everything



OMG i just got a warning for this 

- - - Post Merge - - -

Did you read my last post


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## Cory (Jun 15, 2014)

ShinySandwich said:


> OMG i just got a warning for this



Good. Thank you all mighty mods floating in the heavens on unicorns.


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## radical6 (Jun 15, 2014)

I like this forum.
Most of the time, it's positive.
Though I tend to steer clear of the IRC. I already know some people dislike me for my opinions on political things, and that's fine. I have had friends paste me some logs of what people have said and I honestly don't want to go there ever. Am I being a baby? Maybe. But I can't really talk to people with very opposite opinions of mine on serious stuff I guess. Like if it was about a band or something or some actor, then I could let it slide. But I can't really talk to people who are constantly offensive and rude about my gender or laugh at offensive jokes. It grinds my gears sometimes when I see it on the forums itself, but I'm learning to ignore it. I argue with lots of people here, though it's mostly two people. I don't hate them, but we have very different opinions and ideals of things. If we didn't have disagreements, then I would think they're decent. 

I like the community feeling this place gives. Without this place I wouldn't have met really great people. I've made a few friends here but that's okay with me. They're kind and listen to me, and some of them I talk to nearly everyday. Also I make mutuals with people on here on tumblr so yeah heh.


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## Lauren (Jun 15, 2014)

tsundere said:


> I like this forum.
> Most of the time, it's positive.
> Though I tend to steer clear of the IRC. I already know some people dislike me for my opinions on political things, and that's fine. I have had friends paste me some logs of what people have said and I honestly don't want to go there ever. Am I being a baby? Maybe. But I can't really talk to people with very opposite opinions of mine on serious stuff I guess. Like if it was about a band or something or some actor, then I could let it slide. But I can't really talk to people who are constantly offensive and rude about my gender or laugh at offensive jokes. It grinds my gears sometimes when I see it on the forums itself, but I'm learning to ignore it. I argue with lots of people here, though it's mostly two people. I don't hate them, but we have very different opinions and ideals of things. If we didn't have disagreements, then I would think they're decent.
> 
> I like the community feeling this place gives. Without this place I wouldn't have met really great people. I've made a few friends here but that's okay with me. They're kind and listen to me, and some of them I talk to nearly everyday. Also I make mutuals with people on here on tumblr so yeah heh.



If it's anything,  I like you from what I've seen. You shouldn't not go in if you want to go in that is! I've never heard a bad word about you!


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## ShinySandwich (Jun 15, 2014)

We should have a new irc channel for acnl only, I have seen a lot of people joining the irc just to talk acnl stuff

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm serious


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## puppy (Jun 15, 2014)

the negativity isnt driving me away, i just only talk to literally one person here and i have them added on skype so
i really want to be active on the irc but everyone there is already so comfortable w/ each other and i tend to go silent in group chats because im always afraid i'll say something really dumb or people will be like no one cares
i have gone in there a couple times and it was alright but asdfghjkl


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

ShinySandwich said:


> We should have a new irc channel for acnl only, I have seen a lot of people joining the irc just to talk acnl stuff
> 
> - - - Post Merge - - -
> 
> I'm serious



Or we can just leave it as is because separating chat like this wont work. It'll only cause rifts, even if it does work.


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## Sanaki (Jun 15, 2014)

I really just do my own thing on this website because I don't make friends easily. The recent negativity can only be fixed if the other people want to cooperate as well, though. c:


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> Or we can just leave it as is because separating chat like this wont work. It'll only cause rifts, even if it does work.



I agree, I think there could be a certain level of separation depending on the circumstance, but we can't divide everything up and give every topic of conversations it's own channel.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Ashtot said:


> I agree, I think there could be a certain level of separation depending on the circumstance, but we can't divide everything up and give every topic of conversations it's own channel.



Maybe a mario kart monday chat, but we can't do mafia or a general mario kart chat. Mafia's full time. I have a feeling it'd only get ignored until people are literally forced into chatting in it. 

I've seen this happen before. It becomes a pain in butt and people just fall out of love with it altogether.


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## Mercedes (Jun 15, 2014)

Hmp get the email reply system better.


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> Maybe a mario kart monday chat, but we can't do mafia or a general mario kart chat. Mafia's full time.



I suppose you're right, we can't deal with the negativity of Mafia by giving it's space, that'll make it worse.


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## MisterEnigma (Jun 15, 2014)

Separating chats only serves to segregate people even more, doesn't it? Like a cafeteria or something. AC kids to the right, Disney lovers to the left, pizza appreciators to the north, there's just too many people here to start making any more cliques than there already is. I don't think making a bunch of different chats is an answer, but what do I know. -shrug-


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

Luckypinch said:


> Hmp get the email reply system better.



That doesn't have anything to do with this, although I agree that the quoting glitch is annoying.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> Separating chats only serves to segregate people even more, doesn't it? Like a cafeteria or something. AC kids to the right, Disney lovers to the left, pizza appreciators to the north, there's just too many people here to start making any more cliques than there already is. I don't think making a bunch of different chats is an answer, but what do I know. -shrug-



Generally, yes. It encourages clique behavior. In many ways it's very much like society.


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> Separating chats only serves to segregate people even more, doesn't it? Like a cafeteria or something. AC kids to the right, Disney lovers to the left, pizza appreciators to the north, there's just too many people here to start making any more cliques than there already is. I don't think making a bunch of different chats is an answer, but what do I know. -shrug-



I really don't think it creates cliques, I mean if you're playing a video game together, you're playing that game with the people you're playing it with. You aren't talking to people outside at the same time. I don't agree with everyone saying that there are a ton of cliques on TBT, because I've been here 4 years and have seen 0% cliqueage.


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## MisterEnigma (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> Generally, yes. It encourages clique behavior. In many ways it's very much like society.



Yeah, I mean I get wanting variety and trying to reach out to others whose interests are similar, but that would require so many chats, and how would we decide which are valid? Even themed chats, I don't see people keeping on topic. I don't know really, I've never been to the chat room here, I'm not sure how close everyone in there is, but it would be nice if people were more open or receptive. It seems quite a few people have voiced discomfort about it, I just wish there was a good solution. D:

- - - Post Merge - - -



Ashtot said:


> I really don't think it creates cliques, I mean if you're playing a video game together, you're playing that game with the people you're playing it with. You aren't talking to people outside at the same time. I don't agree with everyone saying that there are a ton of cliques on TBT, because I've been here 4 years and have seen 0% cliqueage.



Oh well I trust you'd know, I haven't even been here a year, so I can only go on what little I've seen and heard from others. I just meant how many chats would it take to make everyone feel comfortable or included, you know? It seems like it'd be a little confusing.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Ashtot said:


> I really don't think it creates cliques, I mean if you're playing a video game together, you're playing that game with the people you're playing it with. You aren't talking to people outside at the same time. I don't agree with everyone saying that there are a ton of cliques on TBT, because I've been here 4 years and have seen 0% cliqueage.



Look at it this way. Either way, someone is going to feel left out. Say it's Mario Kart Monday, and the chat goes dead silent. Someone asks why no one is speaking and we say we're playing MK8 and were in a separate chat. They're left out regardless of where the conversation takes place.


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## Ashtot (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> Look at it this way. Either way, someone is going to feel left out. Say it's Mario Kart Monday, and the chat goes dead silent. Someone asks why no one is speaking and we say we're playing MK8 and were in a separate chat. They're left out regardless of where the conversation takes place.



That's why I said that I agree with you, I think you missed my previous post.


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## Trundle (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> Look at it this way. Either way, someone is going to feel left out. Say it's Mario Kart Monday, and the chat goes dead silent. Someone asks why no one is speaking and we say we're playing MK8 and were in a separate chat. They're left out regardless of where the conversation takes place.



All of you have been playing MK8 lately while I don't have it and I feel left out, but I'm obviously not going to let that bother me. Some people are definitely way too sensitive when it comes to inclusion. If you join the IRC and nobody is doing something you can do too, do something on your own until other people are ready to chat with you.


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Trundle said:


> All of you have been playing MK8 lately while I don't have it and I feel left out, but I'm obviously not going to let that bother me. Some people are definitely way too sensitive when it comes to inclusion. If you join the IRC and nobody is doing something you can do too, do something on your own until other people are ready to chat with you.



It's okay, Trundle. You're playing MK8 with us in our hearts.


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## Trundle (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> It's okay, Trundle. You're playing MK8 with us in our hearts.



Hahahahaha yeahhhh <3


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## Bowie (Jun 15, 2014)

When it comes down to being part of something, you can either be part of it, or, not be. And, if, for any reason, you can't be, create something to be a part of. And, if possible, give people the opportunity to join in on whatever it is you're doing. That's what I do, at least. I find it hard to interact with groups since, well, half of them will have said or done something that has made me want to gouge their eyes out, so, I just like to have fun with people I like. I remember doing a lot of crazy stuff with an old friend of mine, and, we had a laugh. You can't have a laugh with everyone in a group, can you?


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## Mercedes (Jun 15, 2014)

HELLO??? The email system!?


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## Trundle (Jun 15, 2014)

Luckypinch said:


> HELLO??? The email system!?



Luckypinch this thread isn't about the email system but you're free to PM a staff about it or post it in the Ask the Staff Thread. This is about negativity in TBT.


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## Cory (Jun 15, 2014)

Luckypinch said:


> HELLO??? The email system!?



Oh god help us.


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## ShinySandwich (Jun 15, 2014)

Alice said:


> Or we can just leave it as is because separating chat like this wont work. It'll only cause rifts, even if it does work.



But this is an ANIMAL CROSSING FORUM, wee need this, mafia, mk8, etc are optional ( we dont need channels for those)


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## Capella (Jun 15, 2014)

This place is cool I don't see why threes so much negativity recently ;;


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## Solar (Jun 15, 2014)

guys guys guys can I just say something. I find a lot of you here to be lovely human beings. I've always kinda wanted to make some real bonds with people here but haven't really been able to succeed in that objective. I've made about 2 close friends on this forum, 1 not being really active anymore. But I want to become close with a lot of you and that's why, if you're ever feeling down, or having some negative thoughts, please please please come to me because I would love to help you out whether it's to let you rant or help solve a problem I'm always here for you and I hope that I can help anyway possible, and maybe indirectly bring the negativity down a bit. I love you guys!


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## Princess (Jun 15, 2014)

Gnome said:


> I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.



You're always welcome Sean <3

And so is everyone else. Thank you for this thread Jamie


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## Alice (Jun 15, 2014)

Princess said:


> You're always welcome Sean <3
> 
> And so is everyone else. Thank you for this thread Jamie



Thank you for your continued existence, Pally.


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## Ace Marvel (Jun 15, 2014)

Well I'm new in this thread so hello everyone!!
I just want to say is that being negative never gets you anywhere, so like just dont... but being more serious here is a list of some tips that might help you:
-There is always to be polite saying thing you dont agree with, just think how you like people to talk to you if they dont agree with you.
-If conversation is not getting somewhere and you feel uncomfortable, just leave, don't encourage for negativity.
- Written words not always express how you feel, so be very carefull how you say thing when you write.

And finally I aint no expert in life, I'm just human, but if anyone, and I mean anyone here feels like they need to take something out of their shoulders, you can count  on me to listen to you, feel free to PM, sometimes is easier to talk to strangers, and I will never judge you on your beliefs, lifestyle or preferences in life, so again even If I dont know you I would feel horrible if you leave TBT because of negativity.


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## radical6 (Jun 15, 2014)

Lauren said:


> If it's anything,  I like you from what I've seen. You shouldn't not go in if you want to go in that is! I've never heard a bad word about you!



aw thanks (i always thought you disliked me a little omg) idk i go in like sometimes but that was like months ago. i feel like i have kinda tension with some regular IRC people so yeah but maybe ill drop in or something idk


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## Solar (Jun 16, 2014)

idk if anyone would care if I left.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

First off I wanted to say that I'm really glad that you guys were able to keep it together and going while I took a nap. I've noticed a lot of the problems that people bringing up is IRC cliques and segregation. 

Yes, we do have cliques on the irc. I see no reason why anyone should feel excluded though. Alice for example. When I met her, she had simply sent me a PM and we began to talk. That's it. That's all it takes to get in and be included. Questions are welcome, answers are available, and you will realize that though it may look like there's a clique, what you're really looking at is the spur of the moment bond from conversation of a nature that involves similar interests. Everyone, and I mean everyone is welcome. Just remember, you can't send PM's unless you have a registered nick, so once you register buddy up with someone to teach you the ropes and you'll have someone there to help you integrate. I love you guys, but you need to keep in mind it takes two to tango.

As for the Skype groups, I'm not going to moderate you on Skype. That's your business. When you're talking about people behind their back and treating them awfully, and they're noticing something in the chat... or on the forum.. because of something that people have said.. That's when I draw the line. They're a person, even if you don't like them. Don't talk about them. Don't cause them issues. This isn't school. That makes you a bully.

As for the Ban Cory thing, I'd like to see that stop, but Cory you need to make an effort to make people see you seriously. I warned the user starting it, but you didn't say anything that made the situation any better. You're both adding fuel to a fire. Stop. What's the point of that? If you feel attacked, talk to a mod. Don't just make it worse. 



Teddy345 said:


> Well I'm new in this thread so hello everyone!!
> I just want to say is that being negative never gets you anywhere, so like just dont... but being more serious here is a list of some tips that might help you:
> -There is always to be polite saying thing you dont agree with, just think how you like people to talk to you if they dont agree with you.
> -If conversation is not getting somewhere and you feel uncomfortable, just leave, don't encourage for negativity.
> ...



Easier said in concept than practice for some people, but thank you for offering to help people personally. You're taking a step to ensure members feel comfortable and it's appreciated. Just remember.. with great power comes great responsibility.

As for the IRC, I also feel left out when it comes to MK8, but I keep in mind also that I play the minecraft server, so while I talk about that, other people may feel left out because they're not in on it. Everyone has their niche. What you guys should remember is that we keep it to one room because it's a general chat. If you're not in on something, try and start a convo on something else! It's not unusual to see 2-3 conversations going on at once. There's also the option of making your own IRC room. As long as it's not being used to talk about people behind their backs, you can definitely create a smaller room for you and a few others you're comfortable with to get used to the IRC. We're here for you.


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## Zeiro (Jun 16, 2014)

I haven't really been that active for a few weeks, so I'm not 100% sure what happened/is happening, but the negativity and bitterness of some people just kinda drove me away. This forum is not like it used to be, the community has changed a lot. And there's way too much salt.



Cory said:


> I still love everyone.


Cory is a good egg.



Gnome said:


> I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.


I feel the same wow.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

Reizo said:


> I haven't really been that active for a few weeks, so I'm not 100% sure what happened/is happening, but the negativity and bitterness of some people just kinda drove me away. This forum is not like it used to be, the community has changed a lot. And there's way too much salt.
> 
> Cory is a good egg.
> 
> I feel the same wow.



You should come up with a way to reintegrate yourself. When it comes to you personally, I've seen you share a lot of differing opinions with people. Maybe you should try and remember to keep an open mind and remember that everyone has something to say. Who knows, maybe someone you weren't aware of that you've never spoken with could share some of your feelings on topics. You never know until you jump into something with an open mind. We all need to take steps like this to quell negativity. Think positive, be respectful, and try and be happy no matter what the situation is-- happy that there's a diverse group willing to listen.


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## Shirohibiki (Jun 16, 2014)

hm. i havent particularly felt or seen much negativity, personally, but ive seen it in the past. i do know one thing, though

i, myself, have been tending to bark more often than i used to. is that my normal personality coming out because im comfortable? i dont know. my depression is off the charts, and i feel like im not the same person people used to like. i fear that ive grown more bitter, more cold, and more annoying and that people just dont want much to do with me. im sure its all in my head, but i almost feel... guilty, for letting my depression take over. idk i know this isnt really. about tbt and im whining about myself lol but, i mean it in the way that i feel like ive been a disappointment to people. i dont want that, but this change seems irreversible. i wouldnt want to look at my post history, itd only make me sad.

im sure the mods also dislike how snappy i can be, and i just. 
truthfully, i love most people here and i value you all, and treasure you all. but ive been moving away a little, because i havent even been playing AC, and im burnt out and i feel sick and tired all the time. 

im just sorry to those who may be disappointed over my personality 'change'. and to those who dont get to see the more lively, happy side of me. and to the mods who have to clean up the remains of me barking at someone. ive not been the best forum dog, certainly not best in show, but ill try to be a little more positive. i can be too cynical for this world sometimes. so im sorry guys, know that i love you regardless of how loud i bark.


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## Zeiro (Jun 16, 2014)

Cent said:


> You should come up with a way to reintegrate yourself. When it comes to you personally, I've seen you share a lot of differing opinions with people. Maybe you should try and remember to keep an open mind and remember that everyone has something to say. Who knows, maybe someone you weren't aware of that you've never spoken with could share some of your feelings on topics. You never know until you jump into something with an open mind. We all need to take steps like this to quell negativity. Think positive, be respectful, and try and be happy no matter what the situation is-- happy that there's a diverse group willing to listen.


I've tried really, but I'm not sure it's worth my time and effort. Maybe I'm expecting too much out of an Animal Crossing forum? There are other sites I visit where I enjoy the community more and I connect really well with other people. The community here just feels kinda split up and awkward to me. And I'm not gonna blame it on the "clique", but it does exist. I don't really know where I'm going with this because I'm half-dead from a Skyrim binge, but yeah. We all need to keep in mind that everyone has a different perception of the community based on their own experiences.


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## Izzy Reincarnated (Jun 16, 2014)

There isn't any negativity here at all. I understand some people may have insecurities and fear and want to get it out on other people but aint nobody got time for dat.


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## Cariad (Jun 16, 2014)

I want to apologise for my post yesterday, I was tired and I don't feel if was worthy.

I don't know why everyone is leaving at the momment. It makes me upset because I had friendships with these, and I will really miss them. I dont know why they leave.

I think we should become better at being friends. I think that that is the problem.


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## oath2order (Jun 16, 2014)

Okay, I didn't actually intend on posting in here, but I'm playing RuneScape right now, mining is boring, and I figured I might as well post.

I've been _trying_ to be a little more mature the past few weeks. It's hard, changing your behavior is difficult. I mean, one of the things I've done was apologize to people I felt like I've insulted or been overly rude to.

I honestly don't know what to do now, other than to watch my words.


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## Ace Marvel (Jun 16, 2014)

Cent said:


> Easier said in concept than practice for some people, but thank you for offering to help people personally. You're taking a step to ensure members feel comfortable and it's appreciated. Just remember.. with great power comes great responsibility.



I live by this "smile at a stranger and then walk away, you'll never know, but you made thier day" thats all it takes sometimes to really make someone feel good about themselves, and yeah great power comes with great responsability, but I rather be wrong for trying than being right for just standing, like I said I'm no expert in life, but if someone feels that will help them, I will be the happiest person.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

So here's a brief list of things that have come up and been discussed:

FORUM: 
-Cliques
-Negative Nancies/Wet Noodles
-Unwelcome
-Outside Stress
-Lack Of Friends
-Lack Of Interest
-Scared Of People
-Lack of Good Communication
-Rivalries

So what can we take from this.. people aren't going to be expected to all like each other, and it's been stated that no-- you can't simply ignore a simple person because eventually you will snap at them. It's not fair to anyone to blow up like that. I find a lack of non-opinionated discussion has become the bane of this forum. It's all arguments, no solutions, and lately it's not even discussions. Look around brewsters. What do you see? What I see are a bunch of self-centered posts that care nothing for the people in the thread and users that will use any excuse necessary to ignore everyone else and simply talk about themselves. When was the last time we had a good "everyone gets responded to" discussion? When was the last time we've been on a topic as sensitive as this and it hasn't turned into an awful argument?

Those with a lack of friends, I think that is a reason why. No one's putting the effort forward to make them. It may also be part of the clique issue. Maybe if we see someone post in a thread, and we agree with them, or find that that kind of person is who you'd like to become friends with it may be time to put forth some effort to speak with them privately.. actually get to know them. 

A lot of people have said they're not interested in friends. That's okay too! I really hope that doesn't deter you from actually participating in the community though, and you're still being a wonderful person, no matter what you're doing. Just because you don't have any close relationships doesn't mean people don't want to get to know you. 

We should all probably be putting more effort into getting to know the new users. I'm wary of them myself, because I tend to become attached to people fast, and then I become opinionated. I have opinions on people that I hear other things about that honestly scare me, but I don't want to judge them by things others have said.. I want to come to my own conclusions, and that delusion has come back to bite me before. I don't want that to happen to others, but it's going to, and it's going to make someone feel put out or left out eventually. 

IRC:
-Cliques
-Unwelcome
-Unable To Keep Up
-Disgusted With the Content
-Too Many Topics

The first thing I want to address about the IRC is that it's meant to be more mature discussion, which can put people off. There's a difference between mature topics and just being a jerk though. I still stand by the fact that if a topic bothers you, you need to tell someone. Chances are it's bothering someone else that won't speak up. That's where we have the cliques come in. Cliques tend to be groups of friends that are unsatisfied with the IRC itself, so they make their own groups. I can honestly say I have no problems with that as long as they're welcoming of others that share their opinions. I'm guilty of it too-- having a small group of friends I will focus all of my energy on. It happens everywhere. The point is: Are they using that power to create a welcoming environment to others that may want to join, or are they rejecting everyone?

It's been suggested separate rooms be made for games like Mafia and MK8. I've considered just a general gaming room instead of the main chat that everyone would be welcome to, which saves the main chat from being so fast paced and unwelcoming. The thing with that, is that we have one chat button. People aren't going to read the rules, and they're going to join the main chat and bring it right back to where it was. It's not worth it. The mods are on the IRC most of the time to relax themselves, so we don't want to have to be kicking people all day. If you can't keep up, I think you should just ask what the topics are that are being discussed, make an active attempt to include yourself, and if you're still not satisfied, the IRC might just not be the place for you.. sometimes it isn't the place for me either, but topics move. That's the beauty of IRC.



MissNoodle said:


> I want to apologise for my post yesterday, I was tired and I don't feel if was worthy.
> 
> I don't know why everyone is leaving at the momment. It makes me upset because I had friendships with these, and I will really miss them. I dont know why they leave.
> 
> I think we should become better at being friends. I think that that is the problem.



You posted what you needed to say. Some people come back, and maybe if people see an active attempt is being made to change how things are done and how welcoming we are.. and destroying the negative vibes, people will be more inclined to return. Everyone has to be willing to make this change though, not only one or two of us.

Everyone needs to be able to admit their faults and instead of sitting here telling people what they are, they need to consider what they can do to be an asset to the community. Telling people what makes you un-approachable doesn't do anything, it's a statement. However, telling people that you're willing to change X and Y about your approach does say something about your devotion to the community.



Izzy Reincarnated said:


> There isn't any negativity here at all. I understand some people may have insecurities and fear and want to get it out on other people but aint nobody got time for dat.



I'm glad you think so, but there are loads of negative things going on right now. 



Reizo said:


> I've tried really, but I'm not sure it's worth my time and effort. Maybe I'm expecting too much out of an Animal Crossing forum? There are other sites I visit where I enjoy the community more and I connect really well with other people. The community here just feels kinda split up and awkward to me. And I'm not gonna blame it on the "clique", but it does exist. I don't really know where I'm going with this because I'm half-dead from a Skyrim binge, but yeah. We all need to keep in mind that everyone has a different perception of the community based on their own experiences.



As stated before, it takes personal effort to make something worthwhile, so if you feel as if you're not wanting to put forth the effort towards positivity and welcoming in order to make friends and be more comfortable, I'm sorry but others aren't going to want to put forth effort either. It's a two way street. I can understand being tired though, so why don't you sleep on it and come back with a fresh head before really sticking to that kind of statement. It doesn't make me think any less of you, but from an outside perspective I wouldn't want to take my time getting to know you if that's how you felt about it.



oath2order said:


> Okay, I didn't actually intend on posting in here, but I'm playing RuneScape right now, mining is boring, and I figured I might as well post.
> 
> I've been _trying_ to be a little more mature the past few weeks. It's hard, changing your behavior is difficult. I mean, one of the things I've done was apologize to people I felt like I've insulted or been overly rude to.
> 
> I honestly don't know what to do now, other than to watch my words.



Do or do not, there is no try. Apologies are a great first step! Just remember to be mindful of others, how they feel, and what their beliefs are. I know you can, I've seen you do it. You're trying, and that does count.


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## KarlaKGB (Jun 16, 2014)

Here is my infraction PM in full:




			
				Resetti said:
			
		

> Dear KarlaKGB,
> 
> You have received an infraction at The Bell Tree Forums.
> 
> ...



I'm not going to be part of a community that encourages such a stupid mindset. If you say something, you better be prepared to back it up. Playing the "it's my opinion" card should not be encouraged because it's a terribly weak argument that will get you NOWHERE in the real world. Apparently whoever infracted me is incapable of reading the context of the situation. Yes, I called him a stupid assravaging ******, to make a point in response to this:


> You have no right to do so. I consider all of what I say to be my opinion, and, you have no right to attack each one just because it opposes your own.


So I call him an assravaging ******, *in my opinion*. You can see how unacceptable it is, and there is no defence for that. Just because it's an opinion doesn't mean it's valid. But, being the hypocrite he is, he reports it, because the whole "it's my opinion" card only works one way.

So enjoy the forum, because this has set the precedent that everyone must pussyfoot around everyone else, for fear of offending someone's opinion.


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## Chris (Jun 16, 2014)

I wasn't going to post in here, but I feel bad for not contributing when I spend so much time here. I don't want to seem like I'm ignorant to the problems. So I'll start off by saying that TBT feels like my own home on the internet. I come here to relax. I'm logged into IRC and I'll have the forum open whenever I've my computer up - and I often read the forums / use IRC from my phone too. Even on my busier days I still end up spending at least 4-5 hours on here. Yesterday I was logged into the IRC for 17 hours.



One problem that strikes me on the *forum* is the way people go about arguments. It's not the fact they're discussing something that's the problem - it's the fact it leads into people attacking each other. People put each other down for not having the same opinions as them and they don't let issues go even after they've made their point. They also let feelings from previous discussions influence how they treat that person overall - which I think is the reason arguments turn nasty so quickly on here. I've been here a year and I've managed to avoid conflict of that sort. The only time I felt like I was being attacked I resisted the urge to retaliate even though I really wanted to; instead I contacted one of the staff so it wouldn't escalate into anything on the forum, then contacted that person privately to straighten things out. We now get on (not simply tolerating each other - we even speak directly), so I feel like I did the right thing.  

I remember, on another forum, when I was 13 (I'm 22 now) I was constantly getting into arguments. Usually it was with the same two 18 year olds. They'd wind me up to no end and instead of just closing the tab I felt like I just had to reply. I felt like if I didn't respond that they'd think I'm weak or that I was just admitting defeat. I wanted to make my point clear and even if they tore it to shreds and call it stupid I'd just keep hammering it. It took me a couple of years to realise that when a discussion gets heated that is the time to step back and really decide if carrying on is really the right thing to do. Even if it's something you're really passionate about there's a time where you need to just call it quits and realise that when a debate escalates into insults and you're getting angry and upset that it's time to stop. It's also not to right to keep spurring on the other person when you see they're getting riled up, no matter how hilarious you might think it is. 



As far as the *IRC* goes, I do think it would help if people were more welcoming and made an effort to take on criticism when it _does_ come up rather than just ignore it. People _have_ expressed when they are feeling left out, or uncomfortable, and it often does go ignored. Personally, I have been trying to tone down something once people say they aren't happy. e.g. when a group of us were playing MK8 last night (around midnight my time, so 7pm EST), I kept quiet because there were other on-going discussions at the time. But when we had been playing much earlier in the day, when the chat was otherwise quiet and there were no other on-going conversations, I got more involved.

I do agree with *Ashtot* that sometimes people just simply aren't reaching out. They'll come into IRC, and we do greet them, but then they just leave again. Or they say nothing more than "hello". It's hard to speak to people who won't respond. If it's a case of feeling overwhelmed, PMing someone or coming back at a quieter time of the day may help. The first time I went into IRC it was in the morning my time (GMT), so it was pretty quiet, and I quickly got involved in a conversation with *Jake.*, *Glaceon*, *VillageDweller*, and *Thunder*. They definitely made me feel welcome and it was less intimidating because there were only a few people around at the time. 

I don't think dividing the IRC users up into more channels would really work, for reasons already stated. It would just encourage clique-y behaviour - and that was already a big problem a couple of months ago. I do really feel like that's been toned down a lot since we acknowledged that it was a problem. 

If anyone ever feels out of place in IRC but is up for a chat, they can message me if they'd like.  I'm in chat most of the day and even if I'm not active in #belltree I'm usually available to answer PMs.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

KarlaKGB said:


> Here is my infraction PM in full:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I really don't think all of this was necessary. I'm sorry about what happened and that you feel like you've been wronged for this thing, but.. I don't see the point in continually being perpetually angry over it. I also don't see the point in coming back just to make a post here where we're trying to get rid of this kind of attitude to push what happened. It wasn't part of this. This topic wasn't about you, it's about the forums in general.

Again, I'm sorry that you feel wronged over this, but if you can't put it behind you than I don't know what to say or do to help you. I wish you the best of luck on your endeavors, and hope you find somewhere you feel comfortable.



Tina said:


> I wasn't going to post in here, but I feel bad for not contributing when I spend so much time here. I don't want to seem like I'm ignorant to the problems. So I'll start off by saying that TBT feels like my own home on the internet. I come here to relax. I'm logged into IRC and I'll have the forum open whenever I've my computer up - and I often read the forums / use IRC from my phone too. Even on my busier days I still end up spending at least 4-5 hours on here. Yesterday I was logged into the IRC for 17 hours.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I love this post. It's well thought out, and highlights so many of the issues with ways to solve the problems. Your opinion on the matter is definitely a good way to look at things, and I'm glad that in the end you decided to post, even if you weren't going to before. 

Thank you for sharing your experiences. The rational way you approach confrontation is refreshing. I do want to know if you really think the cliques are a huge issue still in the IRC, and if so, what would you do to change that? How would you go about making it more open to people?


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## Flop (Jun 16, 2014)

The cliques in the IRC do seem to be an ever-present issue.

As of right now, I'm trying to maintain _some_ sort of interaction in the IRC, but it seems to be in vain.  It seems as though every time I say something, the conversation just dies off.  There is only a small number of people that actually make me feel welcome in the IRC, and they don't seem to be active much.  When I do say something on IRC, I feel like I am putting myself out on a limb where I am vulnerable to all sorts of judgement and criticism.  I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but to me it seems that even people who are familiar with the community here on TBT often feel oppressed or unworthy of using IRC.  Sure, not many people are on at this time of the day, but what really gets me is how unwelcoming the IRC can seem to people if they're not a part of these cliques.  I try to include everyone  (even people who have just joined the channel) in the conversation, but I seem to be the only person who goes out of his way to start a conversation.  Normally the people in these "cliques" don't reply to _anyone_ until another member of said clique says something.  

tldr;  I guess all I can say is that IRC isn't very welcoming unless you're friends with a select number of individuals who are frequently online.  For me, negativity isn't exactly the issue in IRC, but rather it's the simple "unwelcome-ness."  Unfortunately I can't think of how to resolve this, given that friends talk to their friends, and outsiders aren't always welcomed.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

Flop said:


> The cliques in the IRC do seem to be an ever-present issue.
> 
> As of right now, I'm trying to maintain _some_ sort of interaction in the IRC, but it seems to be in vain.  It seems as though every time I say something, the conversation just dies off.  There is only a small number of people that actually make me feel welcome in the IRC, and they don't seem to be active much.  When I do say something on IRC, I feel like I am putting myself out on a limb where I am vulnerable to all sorts of judgement and criticism.  I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but to me it seems that even people who are familiar with the community here on TBT often feel oppressed or unworthy of using IRC.  Sure, not many people are on at this time of the day, but what really gets me is how unwelcoming the IRC can seem to people if they're not a part of these cliques.  I try to include everyone  (even people who have just joined the channel) in the conversation, but I seem to be the only person who goes out of his way to start a conversation.  Normally the people in these "cliques" don't reply to _anyone_ until another member of said clique says something.
> 
> tldr;  I guess all I can say is that IRC isn't very welcoming unless you're friends with a select number of individuals who are frequently online.  For me, negativity isn't exactly the issue in IRC, but rather it's the simple "unwelcome-ness."  Unfortunately I can't think of how to resolve this, given that friends talk to their friends, and outsiders aren't always welcomed.



As I see it, the IRC can be a more personable experience. Some people are weary of others on there just because of how and what can be said there. It is rather dead at this hour, but I've never made a point to not talk to someone if they were speaking. I think it all comes to speaking up at the right times.


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 16, 2014)

hands down, life sucks
that's something we all can agree on yesyes?
besides, if this is suppose to fix negativity, I don't really see that since there are more arguments here than any other thread


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## unravel (Jun 16, 2014)

Time to be honest sooo uhhh where to start

I was about to leave the forums because I kept ranting and shiz to farobi about something I got sick that time to when he says don't contribute or something thats the time I got mad and ask the host that I will quit the game. Guys don't blame the mafia game because peopl are rude and sh and dont even think people leave because of that game (please to all people who played mafia or whatever explain for them lol)

To oath I'm really sorry for being a jerk in mafia I learn that I shouldn't take it seriously <- mah weakness lel
I'm planning to leave the forums (or be hiatus) not because it's mafia or have no interest/ friends in forums because I need to focus since I'm going to be College next year aand tbh I 'm really scared. wew

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm trying to be mature as well I guess its hard bro so sorry


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 16, 2014)

oi yes Mafia is rough, but fun too so idk
but my experience was horrible.. <//3 ;w;


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## Kildor (Jun 16, 2014)

staticistic1114 said:


> oi yes Mafia is rough, but fun too so idk
> but my experience was horrible.. <//3 ;w;



Mafia was only horrible for you because you couldn't handle the pressure, and you shouldn't have taken it seriously, as mafia is only a game after all.
Please don't take the mafia games seriously.


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## unravel (Jun 16, 2014)

If you guys are planning to join please don't take the game too seriously if you have personal problems or feel sick I suggest dont join or ask the host if you want to quit so yeah


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## Farobi (Jun 16, 2014)

staticistic1114 said:


> oi yes Mafia is rough, but fun too so idk
> but my experience was horrible.. <//3 ;w;


The game forces me to act like that sometimes. Sorry if I offended you in some way, it has nothing to do with you outside the game fyi ;w;


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 16, 2014)

Kildor said:


> Mafia was only horrible for you because you couldn't handle the pressure, and you shouldn't have taken it seriously, as mafia is only a game after all.
> Please don't take the mafia games seriously.



yep, I'm pretty much the type that cant handle pressure, I have quite a weak personality tbh
ik its a game, but I dunno I feel like people there are just not welcoming, everyone is trying to boast about his "amazing discovery" in such an attitude
I try..

- - - Post Merge - - -



Farobi said:


> The game forces me to act like that sometimes. Sorry if I offended you in some way, it has nothing to do with you outside the game fyi ;w;



nono you were actually good in the game, you actually used your brain♥


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## Kildor (Jun 16, 2014)

staticistic1114 said:


> yep, I'm pretty much the type that cant handle pressure, I have quite a weak personality tbh
> ik its a game, but I dunno I feel like people there are just not welcoming, everyone is trying to boast about his "amazing discovery" in such an attitude
> I try..
> 
> ...




What do you mean by not welcoming??  boasting about amazing discoveries? I'm quite confused


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 16, 2014)

Kildor said:


> What do you mean by not welcoming??  boasting about amazing discoveries? I'm quite confused



never mind me, I'm quite the dramatic one..


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## Lauren (Jun 16, 2014)

Farobi said:


> The game forces me to act like that sometimes. Sorry if I offended you in some way, it has nothing to do with you outside the game fyi ;w;



With mafia, it's a game and a game that is deduction and becoming a detective by analysing what everyone says. Most of us play aggressive. What happenens in mafia, stays in mafia. If I took to heart what people have said to me id have no friends.


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## Zeiro (Jun 16, 2014)

Cent said:


> -Negative Nancies/Wet Noodles


You forgot about Debbie Downers.



Cent said:


> As stated before, it takes personal effort to make something worthwhile, so if you feel as if you're not wanting to put forth the effort towards positivity and welcoming in order to make friends and be more comfortable, I'm sorry but others aren't going to want to put forth effort either. It's a two way street. I can understand being tired though, so why don't you sleep on it and come back with a fresh head before really sticking to that kind of statement. It doesn't make me think any less of you, but from an outside perspective I wouldn't want to take my time getting to know you if that's how you felt about it.


I do have a few friends on here, and I used to have many more, but they became inactive over the years. The few that I actually tried to become friends with recently seemed unresponsive/uninterested, so I didn't bother. It's fine though. I'm not that active on here anymore anyway, so it doesn't really matter to me. Forget I said anything.



KarlaKGB said:


> I'm not going to be part of a community that encourages such a stupid mindset. If you say something, you better be prepared to back it up. Playing the "it's my opinion" card should not be encouraged because it's a terribly weak argument that will get you NOWHERE in the real world. Apparently whoever infracted me is incapable of reading the context of the situation. Yes, I called him a stupid assravaging ******, to make a point in response to this:
> 
> So I call him an assravaging ******, *in my opinion*. You can see how unacceptable it is, and there is no defence for that. Just because it's an opinion doesn't mean it's valid. But, being the hypocrite he is, he reports it, because the whole "it's my opinion" card only works one way.
> 
> So enjoy the forum, because this has set the precedent that everyone must pussyfoot around everyone else, for fear of offending someone's opinion.


Was it completely necessary to use "********" and "f*ggot" though? Are you really relying on slurs to make an argument?


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## Chris (Jun 16, 2014)

Cent said:


> I love this post. It's well thought out, and highlights so many of the issues with ways to solve the problems. Your opinion on the matter is definitely a good way to look at things, and I'm glad that in the end you decided to post, even if you weren't going to before.
> 
> Thank you for sharing your experiences. The rational way you approach confrontation is refreshing. I do want to know if you really think the cliques are a huge issue still in the IRC, and if so, what would you do to change that? How would you go about making it more open to people?



It's definitely an issue, but not nearly as much as it used to be. Just a couple of months ago there were groups of people ganging up on new users and purposely trying to scare them away from the IRC - either because they disliked them or just because they found it funny. In that regard it has come a really long way in a short space of time. But it can definitely go much further. I think everyone needs to be making an effort to make people feel welcome. It doesn't really work if only a couple of people are trying and the rest just continue to behave the same as they always have done. Everyone needs to be aware that a change has to be made and it needs active participation from everyone involved. 

I think the two main things people need to concentrate on are: *(a)* how they communicate with others; and *(b)* how they conduct themselves both on the forum and in the IRC. The latter is probably a little harder to 'fix' because it requires some self-evaluation. People need to think more about what they're doing and saying and whether or not it comes off as hostile or offensive. I know that I'm guilty of saying something, then reading it back after hitting submit and thinking "oops, that's a little mean" and then I end up apologising immediately after. 

It doesn't take a lot of effort to greet someone or ask how there day has been. Admittedly, it's not possible for everyone to comment on _everything_, but if anyone notices someone being ignored they should speak to them. I remember feeling bad one time when someone came into the IRC clearly very excited to share some news, and no one acknowledged them and just continued on with the current conversation. So I PM'd them to ask more about it. It doesn't hurt to try and show an interest in what other people have to say, even if it doesn't personally interest you or you don't consider that person a friend yet. Heck, that's _how_ to make new friends.  





Flop said:


> As of right now, I'm trying to maintain _some_ sort of interaction in the IRC, but it seems to be in vain.  It seems as though every time I say something, the conversation just dies off.



Don't take this specific instance too personally. It was just quiet. It had been before you came in too, and even after you logged off it was quiet for a while. I don't know about the others, but when you were trying to get a conversation going I was focusing on writing my reply to this thread. Then immediately after I went AFK. 

I think we all go through stages where we feel out of place. I live in the IRC and I still feel that way at times. I can be logged in for hours and say nothing. Sometimes when trying to get a general conversation isn't working, or you just don't feel like you're gelling with the active group, it helps to try and focus on one or two people specifically. Say their name to get their attention. Often they'll respond.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

Guys, really.

No one claimed mafia was a primary problem for one. I specifically just don't like mafia. It's my own opinion. It's not that I mind the people that play it or claim it's an anger issue. I mean that it's a game that takes over the irc quite a bit and makes it unapproachable sometimes. 

As for this thread, there's no arguments here really. It's been quite civil!


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## effluo (Jun 16, 2014)

Going to keep my opinions to myself :3


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## Alienfish (Jun 16, 2014)

effluo said:


> It just feels sometimes like ten forum is divided in a who is in IRC and who isn't. As well as a who is in Mafia and who isn't.



This...


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## Nerd House (Jun 16, 2014)

*So I just read all 14 pages of this thread in one go...I dunno whats wrong with me xD*



MisterEnigma said:


> I'm not very good at fitting in in chats, I'm pretty anxious as is, so the intimidation of members who have been here longer combined with *not having much in common with anyone is a pretty large hurdle for me to get over* to even step into the chat honestly. Though that's more my problem than it is everyone else's, which is why I just keep to myself mostly. *Though that are definitely quite a select few that do enjoy antagonizing* I've noticed.



*That's exactly how I am. I went into IRC a few times, and while most of the experiences were okay/pleasant, the one bad experience has kept me from going back since. I suppose I can try again.

I'm not going to say names, but I think a few of the big antagonizers have been dealt with.
But what Cent said earlier applies here: "It takes two to tango". Though there are people who have gone and made a thread but done it in such a way as to disguise their attack on a certain user without actually mentioning them in it.*



Trundle said:


> *It actually bothers me a lot when people take up 4-5 lines to say one sentence*



*SO MUCH THIS. Huge pet peeve for me online! OMG we are kindred spirits.
It's WAY more effort to split what you want to say like that instead of just saying it all at once.
The online games I play (MMOs, etc) it REALLY grind my gears when people use my name on one line, then take like 3 minutes to type a portion of their sentence, then 3 more minutes to finish. So the chat is like:*

[12:00] - adol
[12:03] - do you want to go
[12:06] - do that new dungeon
[12:09] - that they added
[12:12] - in the new patch

*WHY NOT THIS:*

12:00 - Hey Adol, want to go do that new dungeon they added?

*So much easier, right?!



ANYWAY, I have some stuff say here, to everyone as a whole.

If I have offended you in any way, shape, form, or fashion, at any time, please PM me so we can sort it out. I don't want any bad blood between myself and any member here. I dont care how small or insignificant it is, please let me know. Alot of times when I type, it comes across the wrong way. I blame this on my not-so-eloquent way of speaking, which bleeds over into my typing online.

I am here on this forum nearly constantly. I really don't know why sometimes, I'm just drawn to forums. I don't post often, so I just lurk and read stuff. And I have seen a lot of s*** that others may not see or may have overlooked. From now on I'll report any posts that like with an explanation.

That's all I can think to say right now (too tired lol) so when I think of more, I'll post again.*


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## Ashtot (Jun 16, 2014)

I feel like there are some problems we are trying to fix that are unfixable. First of all, everyone is always mentioning cliques, but I don't really understand where that is coming from. I don't see cliques, I see groups of friends having fun. If you want to be included, you and I can make that happen. I've volunteered at my church for the past four years, and this is often a discussion that pops up once in a while, although there isn't much of a problem because of the way we deal with it. How our youth service works, is that we have about 30 minutes beforehand when most people show up and converse, you could think of it as the IRC. Every volunteer does their best to include people and greet them to make sure they feel welcome and accepted, but, there is segregation of age to some extent. The thing is, there's a HUGE age range on this site, so it makes sense that certain people will gravitate towards others, it's called friendship. The same thing happens at my church. It's not something that can be stopped, nor should be stopped, because it's natural and it's how you develop relationships. We can't regulate how everyone interacts with one another and control who's friends with who, so I think that some of this discussion is just kind of unrealistic. I mean I agree with most of what people are saying, but there should be a line. People view divides as something inherently negative or evil, which isn't the case.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Adol the Red said:


> So I just read all 14 pages of this thread in one go...I dunno whats wrong with me xD
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm guilty of this, and I also think it's annoying. I just tend to speak in words rather than sentences when I'm chatting in real-time. It also affects how I come across. People probably think I act a bit differently in IRC compared to the forums for that reason.

And seriously, if anybody is not feeling included in IRC or needs help etc. just send me a PM and I'll help you out. 

I'd also like to add that the fact that we're taking time to actually talk about this is pretty insane, but in a good way. This is a large community, and if we can fix the major issues, I'd say that would be a pretty freaking amazing thing.


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## Shirohibiki (Jun 16, 2014)

i notice how often the IRC is mentioned, and i have to wonder; is there a 'divide' of sorts between those who use the irc and those who dont? ive gone maybe 4 times total, all been nice experiences, but its just not my kind of thing because its so anxiety-inducing. but, i guess my question is, do people treat the IRC like a separate thing? like its not part of this forum, and if it is, only to talk about mafia/other users/etc? (just going by what others have said, nothing more)

to be honest, i agree that there is a problem in general with hostility (but i think its like that everywhere you go), but i just cant speak for IRC or mafia since i have little to no experience with them. and i suppose, when i say that, i do feel a disconnect, to the users that use those things mostly. if only because they participate in something that i dont, i suppose.

erm. im not sure where iwa s goin with this, i hope it made sense. its 8am and i just woke up orz,


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## Pathetic (Jun 16, 2014)

I've also like to apologize to my antics, as I am one of the more, "jokey" ones in the irc. It's mostly because I became comfortable chatting with them. Also to the newer people of IRC, I'll try to be more welcoming. I'll limit my weirdness to 2 sentances. {lmao} Also Shiro @ I treat IRC as a place to chat, or meet new people on the forums. I was kind of scared to get in the IRC first, just coming and leaving. But don't worry, you just need to get comfortable.  {this goes for the people scared of irc.}


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

I think it's less that the IRC and the Forum are divided, and more that the people that are regulars to the IRC know each other a bit better. We're cozy with each other, and have a different dynamic that does transfer over to the forums.


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## Gandalf (Jun 16, 2014)

I think now is probably as good a time as any then if people want to talk about the mafia games. It is pretty upsetting to see when members have such a bad experience with it that they never want to play or get involved again. Even worse when people see only the bad side and stay away all together. Hope this might clear it up a bit.

First and foremost, mafia is a game. Plain and simple. Just like monopoly, mafia causes all kinds of family feuds. That is just the nature of it. What we need to do as players is mediate how we react to situations and also help others when they appear to be in an emotionally difficult position brought on by the game. A lot of the tension builds from taunting, mistakes, or people generally taking things to a personal level when being played by another member, though calling people out on this is one of the aspects that doesn't really help anyone. Just paying attention to these kinds of things would help avoid a lot of bickering.

For new players, and younger members specifically, it is the little voice telling them not to take the game personally that causes most issues. This probably isn't the right way to go about it because a lot of the time that reasoning may just appear to players as excuse for being nasty. This is not the case, though it is pretty difficult not to take things too personally during the heat of a game where many of the posts are strategically condescending. When you are playing though, there is a point where you might need to cut your losses and come to terms with what has happened, laugh it off if you made a mistake, or accept the fact that no matter how someone treated you, they were doing it for the game and that anything truly personal is pretty much breaching the games rules. Like any other personal altercation on the forums, this kind of thing needs to be handled by a mod or in a pm. Arguing in the thread with players you think are mistreating you isn't going to solve any problems and if you think someone has overstepped the line, there is a report button. Use it and don't let the experience ruin mafia for you. That said though, don't use the button every time somebody bests you. Good sportsmanship is key.

Mafia is complex. People make mistakes, and veteran players will tease them about it. Yeah this happens so there is no point turning a blind eye, but everyone makes the same mistakes when learning a new game and it's from these mistakes that we improve. Watching people slip up is why we all go back to the game - for the thrill of the chase, even for the times where that person slipping up is us. If you find yourself in a situation where you are feeling like you have let everyone down or people are trash talking how you played the game, you just need to remind them that it is only a game, there will be others, and that you did your best given your experience. Remember, everyone is analysing the thread in great detail so don't spam it up or post generally mean things and not expect someone to call you out on it. If this does happen, don't be that person that rants all over the forum about how terrible the game is just because you couldn't accept the repercussions of what you posted. A simple apology can be sometimes better than defending a broken ego or pride any day. 

All that being said, when people start to put down other players for wording, play styles or past games, things start to take a turn for worse. This happens now and most of the time people don't even realise that they do it and, even though the game isn't supposed to be personal, people will undoubtedly take such a remark personally. This is where you need to watch what you say and really take a second look at your post and consider how it might appear in the eyes of another player. You are out there to have fun, not exclude and constantly remind others of their previous failed endeavours.

tl;dr this was going nowhere, save yourself the time and don't read it.


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## Alice (Jun 16, 2014)

It really bothers me when people used bright coloured font.

As with Adol's, I'm having a spot of trouble looking at it.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Shirohibiki said:


> i notice how often the IRC is mentioned, and i have to wonder; is there a 'divide' of sorts between those who use the irc and those who dont? ive gone maybe 4 times total, all been nice experiences, but its just not my kind of thing because its so anxiety-inducing. but, i guess my question is, do people treat the IRC like a separate thing? like its not part of this forum, and if it is, only to talk about mafia/other users/etc? (just going by what others have said, nothing more)
> 
> to be honest, i agree that there is a problem in general with hostility (but i think its like that everywhere you go), but i just cant speak for IRC or mafia since i have little to no experience with them. and i suppose, when i say that, i do feel a disconnect, to the users that use those things mostly. if only because they participate in something that i dont, i suppose.
> 
> erm. im not sure where iwa s goin with this, i hope it made sense. its 8am and i just woke up orz,



It's safe to say the IRC and the forum have separate rules. While we don't tolerate general swearing here, it is accepted in minimum quantities in the IRC. You could also say certain things that definitely wouldn't fly here. This may be off-putting to certain users who are simply used to following the forums own rules. While I'm not saying we should overhaul the IRC's tolerance policy, it really does make the irc feel like a separate entity.


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## MisterEnigma (Jun 16, 2014)

Somebody on here said 'it takes two to tango', I think it might've been Cent, but after thinking about it, they've got a point, maybe I'm someone who's contributing to the negativity, maybe I come off as standoffish, and maybe I'm unfair to pin it on specific people or reasons why there is negativity. There's been a few people throughout the thread that have offered support so maybe it starts there, creating dialogues with people you never thought you'd get along with and just keep trying to push passed all the awful to find the wonderful. I don't do it enough. It's something I regret a lot, I miss out on getting to know a majority of you because I'm afraid. I'll try not to be that kind of person anymore. If you ever want to talk for any reason about anything, I'll always respond, and if you think what you'll say is stupid, chances are, my reply will be ten times more stupid, so don't feel like you can't say anything to me or anyone else. I'm sorry to anyone who I've come off to as rude or anxious, it was never intentional or personal.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> Somebody on here said 'it takes two to tango', I think it might've been Cent, but after thinking about it, they've got a point, maybe I'm someone who's contributing to the negativity, maybe I come off as standoffish, and maybe I'm unfair to pin it on specific people or reasons why there is negativity. There's been a few people throughout the thread that have offered support so maybe it starts there, creating dialogues with people you never thought you'd get along with and just keep trying to push passed all the awful to find the wonderful. I don't do it enough. It's something I regret a lot, I miss out on getting to know a majority of you because I'm afraid. I'll try not to be that kind of person anymore. If you ever want to talk for any reason about anything, I'll always respond, and if you think what you'll say is stupid, chances are, my reply will be ten times more stupid, so don't feel like you can't say anything to me or anyone else. I'm sorry to anyone who I've come off to as rude or anxious, it was never intentional or personal.



Nothing you've said is stupid, and there's no need to regret anything. We're all here to work with each other. I'm not blowing hot air by saying that I'm willing to help you if you feel like you need it, or if you generally just want to talk. Social anxiety is something that many people here deal with. It can be hugely overwhelming to come into a busy place and just be expected to blend. Just remember that you're not alone in that, and it's okay. Even if you don't say anything, listening to the conversations can do you a world of good to just ease in to knowing people.


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## Bowie (Jun 16, 2014)

I love how positive this thread is. Well, maybe not all of it is positive, but, most of it is.


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## radical6 (Jun 16, 2014)

Bowie said:


> I love how positive this thread is. Well, maybe not all of it is positive, but, most of it is.



i agree! its nice
i agree with what gandalf said. things go too far sometimes in mafia and it can cause tensions. maybe players should talk to each other after the game (or if theyre both dead) to make sure theres no problems ?? idk. like probably not needed for irc regulars vs irc regulars but yeah


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## Grawr (Jun 16, 2014)

Some things never change, I suppose! I remember when people were "threatening" to leave TBT left and right years and years ago when arguments came about.

A lot of them did end up leaving, many of them my friends.

But! A lot of them stayed, too.

Those that chose to stay, myself included, are still here. And I can't even express how cool that is.

Here we are, 20+ years old, still able to check in with the friends we made when we were 12. There aren't very many places in the world that give you the feeling an online community gives you - places like TBT remind us that we don't have to go through things alone. Even if you think you're alone out there in your "real life," all it takes is clicking a log-in button to realize that you've got friends and a community that cares.

I haven't read through all of the arguments and supposed negativity that's been happening lately, I kind of do my own thing here these days, but I hope my words can help some of you see this place for what it can really be.

What's to argue and fight about? We're here because of a common love, so why not love each other?


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## Flop (Jun 16, 2014)

Grawr said:


> What's to argue and fight about? We're here because of a common love, so why not love each other?



That's deep, man.


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## Shirohibiki (Jun 16, 2014)

this thread makes me happy i might cry hngh
again, ill try to be less of a debbie downer, i know my depression has been eating me alive lately so ill try to swallow it back. i love you guys.


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## cIementine (Jun 16, 2014)

*Sometimes I want to leave because I feel like I've been a loser towards everyone and I can't fix the things I've said and done and it makes me sad to see my monstrous words.*


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## Nkosazana (Jun 16, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *Sometimes I want to leave because I feel like I've been a loser towards everyone and I can't fix the things I've said and done and it makes me sad to see my monstrous words.*



This.


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## Caius (Jun 16, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *Sometimes I want to leave because I feel like I've been a loser towards everyone and I can't fix the things I've said and done and it makes me sad to see my monstrous words.*



Your time here is what you make of it. If you're going to have that kind of perspective, it sounds like there's something bothering you about everything past what you're saying. People make mistakes. To err is human, and if you don't, then you don't learn.


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## Ace Marvel (Jun 16, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *Sometimes I want to leave because I feel like I've been a loser towards everyone and I can't fix the things I've said and done and it makes me sad to see my monstrous words.*



Dont look for people in quantity, look for quality, Is better to have a real good friend than 100 so so friends. Its a fact that not everyone will like you, but that applies to everyone.

And if you feel you've said thing you regret, the best thing to do is deal with it, and not just try to avoid it (just because you cant see it, doesnt mean it is not there).

People make mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance.


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## Lauren (Jun 16, 2014)

Grawr said:


> Some things never change, I suppose! I remember when people were "threatening" to leave TBT left and right years and years ago when arguments came about.
> 
> A lot of them did end up leaving, many of them my friends.
> 
> ...



Here, here! 
I've been here a year and a half, not long compared to most but I've met some of my best friends here one of which being pally/princess, Jason, AndyB, kaiaa, cent, justin, prof gallows, alice and honestly I'm working right now everyone else! Yes we all have our issues but it's times like this we can work together to work it out!


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## Colour Bandit (Jun 16, 2014)

I'm going to 'relax' my usage of TBT for quite a while now, I'm finding that either I'm noticing childish comments more or that the few are just affecting me more (A recent event being that I said that I find spoilers aggravating so I avoid them, then some users making petty jokes about that) I've also found that I'm finding less people that I can easily talk to and relate with...

I'll still visit TBT but much less than I currently do, I need to focus more on my life off TBT now... Hopefully by relaxing my usage I'll find benefits in my life off TBT and that I might be more calm and comfortable talking to other users here.


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## Lauren (Jun 16, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *Sometimes I want to leave because I feel like I've been a loser towards everyone and I can't fix the things I've said and done and it makes me sad to see my monstrous words.*



I started my time at TBT horribly. I have anxieties, paranoia and various of other things. So I was rude because that's how I avoid social situations and I realised how wrong it was and I got a bad name and I'm not mean or horrible I'm actually nice and I want people to see that side of me, don't leave just make an effort to show you've changed!


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## Zeiro (Jun 17, 2014)

Colour Bandit said:


> I'm going to 'relax' my usage of TBT for quite a while now, I'm finding that either I'm noticing childish comments more or that the few are just affecting me more (A recent event being that I said that I find spoilers aggravating so I avoid them, then some users making petty jokes about that) I've also found that I'm finding less people that I can easily talk to and relate with...


I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you.


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 17, 2014)

I dun give much about the forums really
my friend is the reason I come here everyday xD
but yh cant help but comment on the threads, cant say I hate being social really


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## Celestefey (Jun 17, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *Sometimes I want to leave because I feel like I've been a loser towards everyone and I can't fix the things I've said and done and it makes me sad to see my monstrous words.*



Don't feel that way. ^^ I joined a forum back in 2008 when I was like 10 years old. Unfortunately, since I was so young, it meant I was a bit immature at times so I said really stupid, embarrassing things, but usually they were never harmful (and to be honest, most people got a good laugh out of them). When I was 13, I also said/did stupid things, but unfortunately they were spiteful comments to other members. I don't know why on earth I did it, because it was just silly and most of the time I never meant what I said.  I eventually left that website... Looking back on it, I wish I never did it, but I did whatever I could to prove people I wasn't like that anymore, when I returned a year ago. Whilst I'm not very active anymore on said forum, I apologised to the people I perhaps offended and always tried to be nice and kind to everyone. Now I'm glad because the people accepted my apologies, and whilst what I did was still wrong, I can move forward and put it behind me, and show that I have changed. You need to do the same, too. If you prove to people you're not the same person you used to be, then they will see that, and they definitely will not think you're a loser. I'm sure it is just something that comes with age, too. I know you're still quite young, but you're maturing every single day, learning, and growing. ^^ It's just what happens, it's a part of being human.


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## debinoresu (Jun 17, 2014)

idk I feel like ive been a salty ***** lately but I believe I have fixed the source of my salt

idk how ive changed since tbt. like its only been a few months but maybe ive become more uncool or more cool or just irritating bc I think my personality tires people out or I get random spikes of personality change for a bit and people dont like that

as for everyone else, I never knew a forum about animal crossing could be so dramatic and id always thought id be in this forum for the animal crossing rather than for the community but here I am stayin strong from good community vibes

I think the lot of you are all very cool cats and that whats in the past/your occasional salty fits dont really affect your coolness

your cool is static guys, its stuck to u like a sock fresh out of the dryer

idek if im posting properly in this thread srry im just giving my op on my behavior and on other users' behaviors and hoping that counts


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 17, 2014)

debinoresu said:


> your cool is static guys, its stuck to u like a sock fresh out of the dryer



oi, you called?


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## Shirohibiki (Jun 17, 2014)

staticistic1114 said:


> oi, you called?



he was referring to how he feels everyone else has consistent 'coolness', not you in particular.


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## Kildor (Jun 17, 2014)

Shirohibiki said:


> he was referring to how he feels everyone else has consistent 'coolness', not you in particular.



You killed her swag.


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## MisterEnigma (Jun 17, 2014)

Kildor said:


> You killed her swag.



That's Shiro's job, she's always killin' swag.  <3


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## Kildor (Jun 17, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> That's Shiro's job, she's always killin' swag.  <3



I try my best.


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## Shirohibiki (Jun 17, 2014)

MisterEnigma said:


> That's Shiro's job, she's always killin' swag.  <3



it is my duty,


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## Alice (Jun 17, 2014)

Shirohibiki said:


> it is my duty,



You gotta watch where you step in a thread with Shiro's duty.


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## cIementine (Jun 17, 2014)

*Thanks for all the responses to my first post on this thread.
Sometimes I feel the negativity here is quite extreme. I see a lot of arguments every now and then and it is sometimes off-putting.
This forum is different to the other ones I'm on because you get banned for cussing and arguing, etc. Not to say you get let off for arguing here either, though. This place is more relaxed.
I sometimes feel left out here but it doesn't fuss me because everyone's fairly polite.
In the IRC I don't always feel comfortable because everyone is so friendly with each other and my contributions are often ignored and I can't make conversation. Most of my friends here are inactive now :c 
I want to make new friends but I find it hard, which is unusual for me since I'm quite easy-going.
I honestly don't understand mafia, and it may just be me but it gives me a vibe of 'if you don't play it you're stupid'. It's probably just me though, but I feel insignificant because I don't play it.
Everyone here is lovely though and I hope we can defeat this negativity.*


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## Kildor (Jun 17, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *Thanks for all the responses to my first post on this thread.
> Sometimes I feel the negativity here is quite extreme. I see a lot of arguments every now and then and it is sometimes off-putting.
> This forum is different to the other ones I'm on because you get banned for cussing and arguing, etc. Not to say you get let off for arguing here either, though. This place is more relaxed.
> I sometimes feel left out here but it doesn't fuss me because everyone's fairly polite.
> ...



Joining mafia doesn't really improve your chances of being more liked. It's just that sometimes experienced players are "sugoi-ing" over a newbie player's skill in the game. 
So they just start to respect you a little bit. BUT, if you are sensitive, don't like being pushed, don't like bekng pressured, then do not join mafia. It will be bad for you if you get offended, because sometimes players are offended because of what other players say, even though if it is just a game. The best thing to do is try not to be rude, be polite. Just chill, relax. I don't really get ticked off by insults, but I'm justed ticked off when I'm having a horrid day ;D


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## Lauren (Jun 17, 2014)

Mafia is fun but as we've seen, not for the faint hearted, if you're easily offended then it's not worth you getting upset. We'd rather people be happy then get upset over a game! Don't feel you have to play to "fit in" you're fine as you are.


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## cIementine (Jun 17, 2014)

*I would join in because it does seem fun, but I just don't understand what to do! aha. *


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## Lauren (Jun 17, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *I would join in because it does seem fun, but I just don't understand what to do! aha. *



Well when the next newbie mafia is up, join in!


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## Alice (Jun 17, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *I would join in because it does seem fun, but I just don't understand what to do! aha. *



You join. You get your role. You keep your role under wraps until you need to make a strategic claim. Or out of desperation. You can be either town, mafia or one the various third parties. The general goal of mafia is to eliminate mafia if you're town, and for mafia to control the voting power, or kill off town completely. Third parties are given their goals depending on what type of third party they are.

Most roles have actions you can use to tip the scale of the game. Not all roles have actions, like goons and townies. It's a simple game, really. It can get complicated with all of the arguments and what goes on behind the scenes, but it's nothing to be afraid of.


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## Kildor (Jun 17, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *I would join in because it does seem fun, but I just don't understand what to do! aha. *



Make sure to read the rules though. And remember, what happens in mafia, stays in mafia.


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 17, 2014)

Kildor said:


> You killed her swag.



that's my line </3


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## Celestefey (Jun 17, 2014)

Avalon said:


> *Thanks for all the responses to my first post on this thread.
> Sometimes I feel the negativity here is quite extreme. I see a lot of arguments every now and then and it is sometimes off-putting.
> This forum is different to the other ones I'm on because you get banned for cussing and arguing, etc. Not to say you get let off for arguing here either, though. This place is more relaxed.
> I sometimes feel left out here but it doesn't fuss me because everyone's fairly polite.
> ...



This place is definitely more relaxed and admittedly, out of all of the forums I've been on, this probably has the nicest members. It could definitely be worse, but I'm glad that people are all sticking together and admitting this is a problem and that we're trying to solve it. It's a problem that most internet communities face. You will always get idiots in life no matter what happens, but it's just learning how to deal with it that counts the most. ^^ I've never been in the IRC so I can't talk about that, but I think that sometimes "cliques" are unintentionally formed at times, and I've seen it happen on other websites too. I'm not saying that the people on the IRC are like that, because I don't know that for myself, but it just sometimes happens and I'm sure maybe they find it hard to talk to other people they don't know so well either. I think people just need to be a bit more welcoming and polite and kind to new people, and to not feel nervous about it either. Also, if I'm honest, on this forum, there are more people who have never played on that mafia game than people who have. ^^ I've never played on it and I don't feel insignificant at all. It's just a game after all. We use this forum for different reasons, after all. I just enjoy posting and looking around. Some people use it for solely Animal Crossing. Others use it so they can interact with new people and play games. You shouldn't feel insignificant for not playing on the mafia game.


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## BluebellLight (Jun 17, 2014)

I left for a few weeks or so because I kept  getting anon hate on tumblr for the bob thing and im just annoying in general and i just kinda feel like the community doesnt like me :/ but I'm giving it one more shot.


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## Princess (Jun 17, 2014)

Alice said:


> Thank you for your continued existence, Pally.



Thank YOU for being a reason for my continued existence on the forums <3


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## Flop (Jun 18, 2014)

It's also kind of difficult to be social with new people on IRC if they do this all within about 5 seconds.

[10:08] * Joins: Chibucha
[10:08] <Flop> gasp
[10:08] <+Lauren> LOL
[10:08] <Chibucha> Hi
[10:08] <+Lauren> im gon try do the mirror ones
[10:08] <~Jubs4> what about the scorpion
[10:08] <+Lauren> i think its more fun with friends
[10:08] * Quits: Chibucha (Client exited)


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## Waluigi (Jun 18, 2014)

i dont see much negativity towards me

i suppose im that one painfully average guy who isnt really loved nor hated. But im fine with it that way.

Im glad i havent seen negativity recently


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## Ashtot (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> It's also kind of difficult to be social with new people on IRC if they do this all within about 5 seconds.
> 
> [10:08] * Joins: Chibucha
> [10:08] <Flop> gasp
> ...



Not really, the chat can move fast at times, but it's not always like that. It's not hard to welcome to players and talk to them. Besides, there are always PM's.


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## Flop (Jun 18, 2014)

Ashtot said:


> Not really, the chat can move fast at times, but it's not always like that. It's not hard to welcome to players and talk to them. Besides, there are always PM's.



I know, but new people tend to join and leave if they don't get acknowledged as soon as possible.


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## Colour Bandit (Jun 18, 2014)

I try to go on the chat but as soon as I log on to it my browser crashes :'( It makes me look like one of those people when I really want to actually talk to people...


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## Ashtot (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> I know, but new people tend to join and leave if they don't get acknowledged as soon as possible.



Quite a few of us acknowledge new people as soon as they come on, so I don't see that happen often.


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## Glaceon2000 (Jun 18, 2014)

BluebellLight said:


> I left for a few weeks or so because I kept  getting anon hate on tumblr for the bob thing and im just annoying in general and i just kinda feel like the community doesnt like me :/ but I'm giving it one more shot.



Please don't leave! You're one of my favorite posters. I'm sure there are more people who like you here too


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## Flop (Jun 18, 2014)

Ashtot said:


> Quite a few of us acknowledge new people as soon as they come on, so I don't see that happen often.



[10:57] * Joins: Merry
[10:58] <Flop> hi merry
[10:58] <Cory> Jubs pls
[10:58] <Cory> Nuke already
[10:58] * Quits: Merry (Client exited)


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## Yui Z (Jun 18, 2014)

I often act like an IRC doorman, trying to greet as many people who come in as I can. =P Mainly because it's easy to think that nobody cares that you're there, and I don't want people to feel like that. Whenever there isn't a conversation that I can actually take part in, I just browse TBT or do whatever I'm doing while it's in the background. 

Some IRC newbies might be feeling awfully awkward or unwanted when they enter and a discussion carries on, as if they're invisible or something. At the same time, people shouldn't feel the need to stop a conversation completely that they're enjoying because someone new has entered. 

Maybe if we acknowledged the people who enter a bit more (I know people try to, but we honestly can't say that everyone does) and at least say a quick 'hello' when they enter, then they would feel more welcome to join the current conversation. 

Something I've also noticed about the IRC, is that the more active users are greeted more. I'm not saying this is always the case because it really isn't, but it's just something that I've started to see a little more recently.


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## Ashtot (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> [10:57] * Joins: Merry
> [10:58] <Flop> hi merry
> [10:58] <Cory> Jubs pls
> [10:58] <Cory> Nuke already
> [10:58] * Quits: Merry (Client exited)



That's pretty ridiculous, you can't expect people to greet in less than 60 seconds all the time. Nobody is at fault for that happening.


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## Cory (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> [10:57] * Joins: Merry
> [10:58] <Flop> hi merry
> [10:58] <Cory> Jubs pls
> [10:58] <Cory> Nuke already
> [10:58] * Quits: Merry (Client exited)


Oops that was my fault.


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## Flop (Jun 18, 2014)

Ashtot said:


> That's pretty ridiculous, you can't expect people to greet in less than 60 seconds all the time. Nobody is at fault for that happening.



It's just my two cents on the matter of this.  I don't think it's an issue with IRC because they never join again.  I enjoy talking to anyone, really, but this seems to happen more than I can count


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## Ashtot (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> It's just my two cents on the matter of this.  I don't think it's an issue with IRC because they never join again.  I enjoy talking to anyone, really, but this seems to happen more than I can count



There's no reason for it to not happen if they're going to leave after less than 60 seconds. There's nothing we can do to fix that.


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## Yui Z (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> [10:57] * Joins: Merry
> [10:58] <Flop> hi merry
> [10:58] <Cory> Jubs pls
> [10:58] <Cory> Nuke already
> [10:58] * Quits: Merry (Client exited)


Errm, you know that was me right? I thought I had ghosted myself when my laptop restarted, so I typed the first name that came to my head. 

I would've said something, but I was quitting to get back onto my proper account, ehe.


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## Flop (Jun 18, 2014)

Yui Z said:


> Errm, you know that was me right? I thought I had ghosted myself when my laptop restarted, so I typed the first name that came to my head.
> 
> I would've said something, but I was quitting to get back onto my proper account, ehe.



WELL THEN


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## Ashtot (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> WELL THEN



Plus, a lot of people join and leave like that because they have connection issues, so that's probably why you see it all the time.


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## Yui Z (Jun 18, 2014)

Flop said:


> WELL THEN



Sorry for ruining your evidence. =P I thought the truth would be better anyway ehe.


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## Byngo (Jun 18, 2014)

Well I will agree with Flop that I see a lot of new people leave right away. I'll say hi to a new person, they don't say anything and then leave after a minute. This usually happens atleast once whenever I come in. But who knows it could be regular IRC users with a different username and connection issues??


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## Wish (Jun 18, 2014)

some of you are salty as hell and its kinda gross like saltier than movie popcorn

dont be a bootiehole and if you need to be one i have some tape for you to seal it shut


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## Pirate (Jun 18, 2014)

I'd go in the IRC if I wasn't petrified to speak to new people.


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## Kildor (Jun 18, 2014)

Yui Z said:


> Sorry for ruining your evidence. =P I thought the truth would be better anyway ehe.



"Ruining his evidence"? That's called "killing his swag" dear.


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## cIementine (Jun 18, 2014)

Kildor said:


> "Ruining his evidence"? That's called "killing his swag" dear.



His swag can't be killed.


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## Isabella (Jun 18, 2014)

I kind of see some of the negativity around the forums, but I think the overall rest of the community is pretty positive so that makes up for it a lot. This is one of the most friendly forums I know, the fact that this thread even exists proves how well the community can come together and try and work things out.

Oh and the few times I've been in the irc have been nice c: i'm not much of an irc person tho but maybe i'll stop in some more. If you don't put in effort in talking to people you're not going to get much in response though so I think that's something to always remember if you're trying to join a new chat or forum or something.


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## Yui Z (Jun 18, 2014)

Avalon said:


> His swag can't be killed.



I'm the evidence killer. I can kill anyone's swag with my power.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Elin said:


> I'd go in the IRC if I wasn't petrified to speak to new people.



I'd speak to you in the IRC, or on the forums. c:


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## Kildor (Jun 18, 2014)

Avalon said:


> His swag can't be killed.



Flop ily, but that "WELL THEN" had me drop to the floor and laugh because it's like you were embarassed AND proven very wrong at the same time. And because of the serious atmosphere of the thread made it more hilarious. 


Anyway, I personally think people in the IRC should be more open to newbies, take them into conversations, mention them or w/e. So that they won't really feel left out.  
Because sometimes I just don't know what the heel people are talking about when I join in, and I just get lost in the conversation.


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## Solar (Jun 18, 2014)

I was just about to join IRC but then i got scared and ran away. Lol so much for being more social.


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## Alice (Jun 18, 2014)

Actually, never mind. I don't want this topic to continue, considering it's kind of spinning out of control.


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## Big Forum User (Jun 18, 2014)

I'm feeling unloved. That thread about favorite members! I was only in a couple, okay one out of 18 pictures, and I got thinking, I really am unloved! I had felt unloved before, but I thought it was in my head! But then, I saw it was true: I was UNLOVED! I even took a day-long break to see if anyone noticed, and nobody did! And do you know what else happened? People said things like, "oh bye" basically when I made a thread asking if I should leave! And I had been treated poorly in the past. Maybe I should leave forever.


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## Stevey Queen (Jun 18, 2014)

Big Forum User said:


> I'm feeling unloved. That thread about favorite members! I was only in a couple, okay one out of 18 pictures, and I got thinking, I really am unloved! I had felt unloved before, but I thought it was in my head! But then, I saw it was true: I was UNLOVED! I even took a day-long break to see if anyone noticed, and nobody did! And do you know what else happened? People said things like, "oh bye" basically when I made a thread asking if I should leave! And I had been treated poorly in the past. Maybe I should leave forever.



I'm not mentioned in that thread at all so..

You shouldn't just leave because you think nobody loves you. I don't know what you do here on this forum but you have to try to make friends for people to acknowledge and love you. I don't think a thread is a good place to do that either. Try vm/pm people and getting on the IRC. Or play acnl with people. <-- I made a friend that way.

If you already do that then I don't know. I'm sorry. Keep trying but maybe with different people.

I hope you can have a better experience here in the future


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## Caius (Jun 18, 2014)

This thread *is* kind of spinning out of control. Though yes, personal issues can be problems for the entire forum, we're trying to also come up with the solutions to the influx of negativity that has festered lately. Not being mentioned a number of times in the 'favorite member' thread is along the lines of selfish and self-satisfying, not forum issue.

Back on track please.



Wish said:


> some of you are salty as hell and its kinda gross like saltier than movie popcorn
> 
> dont be a bootiehole and if you need to be one i have some tape for you to seal it shut



Also, if you post like this in this specific thread, then you will receive a warning. No if's, and's or buts. You're not helping.


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## AndyB (Jun 18, 2014)

I don't feel at home here anymore.
My closest friends here now feel distant, along with as if I don't know them as well as I thought I did.


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## Alice (Jun 18, 2014)

AndyB said:


> I don't feel at home here anymore.
> My closest friends here now feel distant, along with as if I don't know them as well as I thought I did.



Aw. You've been here a long time, so I can understand why you'd feel that way. 

But you don't have to. I'm hurr.


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## Chromie (Jun 19, 2014)

LoveMcQueen said:


> I'm not mentioned in that thread at all so..
> 
> You shouldn't just leave because you think nobody loves you. I don't know what you do here on this forum but you have to try to make friends for people to acknowledge and love you. I don't think a thread is a good place to do that either. Try vm/pm people and getting on the IRC. Or play acnl with people. <-- I made a friend that way.
> 
> ...



Don't worry I love you both.


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## Pirate (Jun 19, 2014)

Yui Z said:


> I'd speak to you in the IRC, or on the forums. c:



Aww, thanks~ I'll try pluck up the courage to get in there one day. Maybe I'll try when I get home later. ^^;


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## staticistic1114 (Jun 19, 2014)

Yui Z said:


> I'm the evidence killer. I can kill anyone's swag with my power.



swag killing is a thing bae<3


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## Cory (Jun 19, 2014)

Yea, some pretty depressing stuff.


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## Byngo (Jun 20, 2014)

Cory said:


> Some stuff has recently come up and I am thinking of leaving TBT. Some of the members do not know when to shut their holes and are like untamed 5 year olds at a birthday party. Also, the mods are corrupt. They allow the members that they like to do whatever they want, but if anyone else does something remotely bad BOOM! they get an infraction or are banned. Unless the new mods are not corrupt there is a possibility that I will be leaving TBT because this is getting ridiculous.
> 
> Edit: Okay right as I post it the person comes and pms me. But there is still some favoritism.



I'm not trying to start an argument or anything and I don't know if I should even be commenting on this (??), but did you read through the chat to see how you acted? 





> are like untamed 5 year olds at a birthday party


 it seriously looked to me like you were throwing a fit when you were banned.


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## Cory (Jun 20, 2014)

Natty said:


> I'm not trying to start an argument or anything and I don't know if I should even be commenting on this (??), but did you read through the chat to see how you acted?  it seriously looked to me like you were throwing a fit when you were banned.



Eh I looked stupid so I got rid of it


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## Flop (Jun 20, 2014)

I must say I'm really liking how everyone is working together to be much more welcome in IRC lately.  Hopefully it keeps up!


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## Ashtot (Jun 20, 2014)

Flop said:


> I must say I'm really liking how everyone is working together to be much more welcome in IRC lately.  Hopefully it keeps up!



I'm glad that there's been an improvement, and I find some people are complaining and haven't actually been on recently. It's improved quite a bit, and since this type of talk started happening, there have been many new users to the IRC.


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