# Women and Men: Ever experienced sexual harrasment in public?



## oreo (Mar 30, 2015)

I've had my share of horrible experiences. Whether it would be the wolf-whistles, catcalls, stalking and groping, blocking off your pathway, or assaults... This could be at work, on the bus, or perhaps in the mall. What did you do? How did it make you feel? 

 My younger cousin who was only 13 at the time was out walking her dog in the neighborhood. It was early evening and she wasn't wearing anything revealing. A guy who seem like in his early forties kept honking at her from his car and shouting out "What is your name, sweetie? Give me that beautiful smile. Where are you heading to? I can drive you if ya like." He then proceeded to comment on her body as she kept ignoring him. It's sad for me to hear that even kids as young as eight can be targeted. 

What are your thoughts on this subject?​


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## Mariah (Mar 30, 2015)

No, never. Maybe it's due to the fact my appearance is repulsive.


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## kikiiii (Mar 30, 2015)

_this thread is very important_

i remember when i was about 8 or 9 i was walking home with a friend of mine and this man looking to be in his late 40's kept trying to talk to me and repeatedly told me how i looked like his niece and all this other talk. he even followed us for a while. it made me extremely uncomfortable, as he was trying his hardest to make contact w/me in any way. he also tried to touch my arm and shake my hand and stuff. because of this, for the majority of my elementary years i was terrified of walking alone, even in my own neighborhood. i also got paranoid when the doorbell rang.  it made me aware at such a young age that there are malicious people out there. unfortunate, really


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## doveling (Mar 30, 2015)

i think.
once i was like 10 or 11 and walked to the shops to get an icecream, and these pretty big guys were like wolf whistling and i felt pretty violated, seeing i was like 1000 years younger.

also when i went to go have KFC one time, this old man were staring at my rather great legs.


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## ShinyYoshi (Mar 30, 2015)

I've been asked several times to send nude pictures to guys. That never goes well for them. 

One time, I was at a concert with my friend and we were in the middle of a big crowd. Some guys were close by to us and wouldn't leave us alone. They kept asking for our phone numbers and if we would meet up with them after the show. After turning them down they left. But when walking out of the venue, they stalked us and kept saying they could take us back to their place for the night and you know... Partake in graphic activities. We couldn't even get to our car because they kept harassing us. 
We ended up going back to the venue and got a guard to help us to our car. 

They were the worst I've met at a concert, but I've met lots of guys like that at concerts.

Edit: I was about 18/19, and I think the guys were like early 20s


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## leeaboo (Mar 30, 2015)

I did when I was 18! I was in a bookstore and a guy a few years older than me kept following me around / trying to get my attention and it was extremely creepy because he would not leave me alone.


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## EmmaFrost (Mar 30, 2015)

I have mild anxiety anytime I need to take the subway (which is every ****ing day when I work) because of the times I've been sexually harassed. The worst was a gross man putting his hand on my upper thigh. The train was so packed (rush hour) that I couldn't move without almost knocking people over but I did anyway.


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## P.K. (Mar 30, 2015)

When I was around eight years old, I was visiting my grandpa at the hospital and like the curious child I am, decided to go wander around for a bit and while I was just walking down the stairs, some dude suddenly grabbed my hand and smiled creepily at me and I just yanked my hand away and walked away. I was lucky that he didn't pursue me after that.

Another was during my freshman year when I was walking to the mall to meet up with my friends when suddenly some dude honked his horn at me and stuck his head out the window, smiled and said, "Huy, Ate~" (in my language this would normally mean "big sister", however in certain contexts such as this one, it's downright creepy and rude)

The latest was last year when I was walking home with my mom's secretary and then one of my neighbors suddenly catcalled us both and wolf whistling. We tried to ignore him but he just kept following us along the perimeter of his house until he was finally out of earshot. We both told him to shut up (sadly, not loudly)

Mind you, I was not in any revealing clothing when any of this happened.

There were other instances as well were I was touched inappropriately by close members of my family from sudden butt smacks to full out groping and many other things I feel uncomfortable to detail.


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## matcha (Mar 30, 2015)

i've been sexually harassed and assaulted. i was 14 and i was just going to pick up some fast food for my fam when these 30 year old looking guys were smiling and waving at me, and i thought nothing of it. then my mom asks me to stop by the grocery store afterwards and i see the same men, and they yell at me that they have a condom and i should come with them. my mom blamed it on me because i was wearing pj bottoms and that makes men look at me the wrong way and get the wrong impression of me.

the 'assault' i guess you could call it was at school by some guy my friend had a huge crush on and when she left to go to her locker and we were alone waiting he started grabbing and groping me.


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## KaydeeKrunk (Mar 30, 2015)

A lot of teachers and creepy family members. Forced to do extra jumping jacks, extra running in gym because I developed early and my male P.E. teacher liked watching me. Always seated in the front of classes so the teachers could look down my shirt, I developed in middle school so it was really difficult for me. I started covering myself up in baggy stuff but it didn't help at all. Worse things have happened but not things I'm at liberty to discuss in a public way like this... It's horrible that things like this happen to people everywhere, I have very close male friends who have been sexually harassed as well.


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## Katattacc (Mar 30, 2015)

It's happened to me so many times I can't even keep track. Daily even. It's not like I am a super model or anything, just a woman. I think it is really disgusting, I mean there isn't anything wrong with a compliment but a lot of men take it much too far.


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## Saylor (Mar 30, 2015)

When I was in eighth grade, there was this boy in my classes who asked me out a couple of times, and after I'd already told him no he continued to ask me almost every time I saw him. I always said no but he acted like we were together anyway and once when I was walking down the hall, he came up and put his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek, and then later that day during class he sat down next to me and put his hand inbetween my legs. After that happened I finally asked my teachers if I could keep my distance from him and from then on we were always made sure to be seperated, so that was good but I didn't really enjoy seeing him around school for the rest of that year.


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## Bowie (Mar 30, 2015)

I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.


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## chronic (Mar 30, 2015)

2 sexy


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## f11 (Mar 30, 2015)

Bowie said:


> I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.


this isn't my problems are worse than yours. Everything needs to be taken seriously and solved so stop trying to compare  like this is a contest.


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## Jake (Mar 30, 2015)

once i was out with my friend coming home around midnight and there was this random in the street who catcalled us, that's the worse that's happened to me

i feel really bad for others who go through worse like fdklfjklgsagdf


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## Ichigo. (Mar 30, 2015)

I've had my butt grabbed a couple times by a male friend back in high school. It was completely unnecessary/uncalled for. I was also recently told about a guy who stalked me?? I knew nothing about it until one of my friends from high school told me. Back then, I did get some creeper vibes off of him. Example: he knew which middle school I went to even though it was in a different city. He said he saw my picture in a yearbook his cousin had, so I didn't think too much of it. Then I find out he'd walk by my house sometimes and knew which car I drove and would tell our mutual friend about it. My mutual friend, of course, told him he was being a creep and that he should stop. That was a while ago though, so I hope he's stopped. I've never actually seen around my place, so I'll take that as a good sign.


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## Yuni (Mar 30, 2015)

I think people who are timid/shy/least likely to report are most likely to be targeted to be... sexually harassed or assaulted. 

The first time it happened to me was in high school when I was 15. I'm allergic to aerosols / deodorants so I always access my locker half an hour earlier (before school) or later (after school) as it's when the area is packed and I couldn't risk having a coughing fit. My locker was next to a wall and on the top, which required me to stand on the tip of my toes in order to put my books in my bag. With the wall on one side, the locker door on the otherside obscuring my vision and having to concentrate to remove my books, I didn't notice two guys approaching me. 

And ... stuff happened. 
No one needs to know. 

I was a bookworm, so I didn't know many names but I did remember their faces. I guess, I wasn't scared (I had extremely low self esteem. I felt no self worth, so what they did just made me feel defiled on top of being invisible). I did report it to authority, but considering we were all underage, they were let off with a warning.

School started having some programs and stuff and that managed to distract me for a while. I eventually forgot about it for 8 or so years. 

Ocassionally (within those years), people have groped me in public. I'm really sensitive (because I hate having physical contact) and am a bit paranoid so I tend to let the first time go. I just feel really confused. I'm pretty sure they did but I'd rather be under the illusion that they hadn't.

I think I mentioned this elsewhere before, but someone had told me that they wouldn't be surprised if I were raped because I'm fragile and physically slow. This was the trigger that dragged out memories from so many years ago.  

I have someone who I can rely on now so I guess I'm a lot better at taking care of myself now. It makes it easier for me to talk about these things now that I know someone accepts me. I really enjoy the company of friends :3

Hmmm... I guess, technically I should be hating all Vietnamese Buddhist males by the type that I've had these bad encounters with. As a group, I do. I really do. I have no faith in religion at all and believe that people are responsible for their actions. 

I would like to meet people with kindness in their hearts. Rather than having people introduce themselves as name, race, religion, things they're good at, charitable things they've done... that doesn't mean anything to me. It's not something I can trust.

People have the ability to do good.
I really would like to believe that and it usually gives an impression on others of how naieve I am. In my peaceful state of mind, perhaps it's true. But it's more like a band-aid solution. 

Sorry about it being really long ^^;


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## Jake (Mar 30, 2015)

Bowie said:


> I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.



umm in order for sexual harassment to be stopped/lessened all of it needs to be taken seriously. just because something is "less serious" doesn't make it any less important. And how is anything going to be "overshadowed" if someone called the police for staring at them?? last time I checked the police can only take action once certain boundaries have been crossed, and pretty sure "staring at someone" isn't going to make them take any action. Of course, if it's an on going problem then yes, but the one off, they're more than likely going to ignore it - it's not like they're going to take priority over someone who stared at someone than someone who raped someone...


that's just like saying some guy fingered you without your consent and your friend saying "oh that's not real rape nvm" like wtf???


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## ThomasNLD (Mar 30, 2015)

This kind of stuff really confuses me.
Not the stuff Bowie refered to, since every normal person would feel stuff like rape/stalking/etc are completely out of line.

What does confuse me, is random men or women giving semi-offensive compliments to people they never met, or for example following them for a short while or secretly taking pictures and stuff. Its like society has changed to where people should just accept this type of behaviour as if its normal, while its not.

Yelling to some random lady in the street she has a nice ass is not a compliment. Some women may enjoy that kind of stuff, but a lot will feel like their privacy just got invaded. Rightfully so. Its a sad thing that people who do such things have no clue of the consequences or deeper meaning of why what they are doing is wrong.

Even as a guy I experienced certain examples of such behaviour. I`m not terribly sensitive to it so I can handle it, but it still baffles me. Eye opener for me was this video of a lady walking through some big city for 10 minutes. The proven theory that you can`t go anywhere, regardless if you dress sexy or not, didn`t surprise me, I go outside after all and witnessed it myself. What did suprise me were the reactions to the video. There were much more people defending the catcalling, vulgarly complimenting people then there were people condemning it. 

I dunno. I realise that as someone with avoidant personality disorder I`m more sensitive to such subjects occuring in todays society, but it bothers me.


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## pippy1994 (Mar 30, 2015)

Not anything too bad regarding a complete stranger, but guys I have met online and then gone out on dates have tried to take advantage of me and put me in very uncomfortable situations. Such as trying to get it on with me in a cinema full of families with young children, and another time when we were taking a walk in a park and he decided to pick me up and carry me into bushland. Although he stopped making advances when he could tell I was getting annoyed.
Those aren't my only experiences but just a couple.


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## Melchoir (Mar 30, 2015)

I remember walking home from the shops with my sister, and being catcalled and wolf-whistled. I was 14 at the time, she was 11. It makes me both sad and angry that people have to experience this every day, and I know that, for me at least, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. A lot of people tell you that this kind of thing is a 'compliment'. It is not. Compliments are meant to make you feel good about yourself, not make you feel scared and paranoid.


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## matt (Mar 30, 2015)

Ive never been sexually harassed


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## Brackets (Mar 30, 2015)

ive been catcalled sometimes, and guys sometimes grab me in clubs and try to kiss me, but nothing worse than that


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## Jamborenium (Mar 30, 2015)

eh a few times TBH

long story short some guy straight up asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. 
he was persistent cause he wouldn't leave me alone no matter how many times I said no, I was luckily in a open public area though, so if he tried anything I just had to scream really. eventually he gave up. 


that;s really all nothing too big really,

EDIT::

oh sh!t I forgot about this one dude I use to be friends with
so another long story short, I use to have a friend who would always
tell me that if he saw me offline that he'd bang me of course I just laughed it off as  a joke
because Hahaha internet humor, anyhoo he then started asking me very sexual question everyday ones that I didn't feel comfortable answering  he then started asking me 
for nudes and to do stuff on webcam, but I'd refuse of course. 

I stopped talking to him once I found out he was pulling the same sh!t with a few other friends 
of mine, see I can tolerate people harassing me but if you harass my friends..hell f!cking no!, get the f!ck out of my face


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## Zane (Mar 30, 2015)

Nebu said:


> EDIT::
> 
> oh sh!t I forgot about this one dude I use to be friends with
> so another long story short, I use to have a friend who would always
> ...



I HAD A FRIEND EXACTLY LIKE THIS. Exactly the same omf. He was really exploitative and manipulative in general too just all around the worst friendship I've ever put myself through in my life.

@topic: yes.


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## Bon Bonne (Mar 30, 2015)

I've never been catcalled or anything irl.
but I've gotten the wrong kind of attention from several different people online over the years. ~__~ things changed when I stopped using my dumb Sonic fancharacter to represent me on the internet, but it has happened 3 times since then. most recent, in fact, was from a friend of mine. I told him ages ago that I'm not interested in him. he's bugged me a few times, but after I was incredibly harsh last time because it was needed, I think he's learned how to chill out. hopefully. he's not the worst person ever, often very kind to me, and not in the unsettling way. so like, we're pals, I just hope he has finally learned to not bother me since I'm not interested in a relationship or whatever else.

edit: how did I, at the time I originally made this post, not remember the one thing that happened in my own home? 
I really don't wanna write any sort of details, even though it was relatively minor and nothing actually bad happened from it. it's made me scared of that person who _STILL LIVES WITH US_ ever since.
all I'll say is that the weirdo that lives with us is an alcoholic and I guess he was super drunk... and he bothered me. that's all I can manage. :|


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## J e s s i c a (Mar 30, 2015)

This is one of the reasons why i don't go out by myself tho i'm 15 but i'm not as bad as my sister tho... she hardly ever leaves the house and is so pale she kinda scars me. People that do this kind of thing to somebody that is as young as eight makes me question the world... far enough if they were around their age but still it's still kinda wrong. But people that do this to children just make me sick but that is just my thoughts. But i have never had this happen to me thank god and i feel sorry for people that have had this done to them...


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## Mega_Cabbage (Mar 30, 2015)

Nope. People can't really tell if I'm a girl or guy just by appearance, so they don't really want to try anything.


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## Moddie (Mar 30, 2015)

[Post Removed. Sorry.]


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## Hai (Mar 30, 2015)

One time in the metro in Rome some older man (I was 16) touched my butt, which was even creepier because it was early evening and I wore hotpants (which I only did that day by the way because I don't like my legs, but it just got too hot outside). I moved a few steps because I thought he might just have done that accidently but he did it again p.q
Luckily, my friend and I left the metro only about one station later. 

Also, when my friends and me were camping (I was 15) and sat around a campfire on the beach, some guys we didn't know sat with us. One of them stared at me the whole time. I have to admit that I'm really bad at recognising if someone hits on me or anything; I thought he didn't like me or something, ehe ._.
When I left the beach to go the toilet, he followed me (didn't notice him at first because it was really dark outside and there weren't many lights; does a camping site even count as public?), grabbed me and told me he loved me (he was drunk but wtf?) and then kissed me aka shoved his tongue down my throat. 
I was kind of paralized and terrified and didn't know what to do since he was much taller then me and had some muscle, but I managed to break free and run back to the beach to my friends (wasn't that far away really, but there were at least many people). I'm glad he didn't follow me x.x
Also, that was my first kiss. Yay. 

Every time something like this happened I was kind of too - I don't know, "paralized"?- to really do anything about being harrassed and hit the guy or yell at him or anything. Ach schei?e... .___.
I don't even know why I told this to an Animal Crossing forum.


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## Aimozz (Mar 30, 2015)

I was harassed by a guy on the train who proceeded to stalk me when I got to my station not long ago. I'm 16.


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## UtopiaJ (Mar 30, 2015)

What really gets me about this thread is how -_common_- sexual harassment is. So important to know you're not alone in this. 

Yes I have been harassed, the first time when I was 15 at a party. To cut a long story short, this one guy almost raped me when I went to the bathroom. (Hai, that was also my first kiss) But luckily my older sister saw him (she always went to parties with me so we could look out for each other) and dragged him out of the bathroom and kicked the living daylights out of him. It would be hilarious if I hadn't been so scared, because she's pretty shrimpy.

That was only the first time, there have been several incidents since then. But as I got older, I stopped just ignoring it and walking away. Every time a guy would dare touch me without my consent, I would very loudly accuse him and embarrass him in public. This works if there are lots of people around. At some point in the last couple years I stopped being harassed. Maybe because I glare at any guy who looks me up and down whom I don't know.


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## carlaeleni (Mar 30, 2015)

I have been catcalled more times than I care to remember. Like somebody else mentioned here earlier, it's not because I'm ~amazingly attractive~, it's because sadly it seems to be a common thing for some men to do. The creepiest thing about it is that I probably received more unwanted male attention from ages 13-16, from older men. Being naive at the time I used to take it as a compliment. If it happens to me now it makes me really angry because I'm more aware of why they think it's acceptable to do it! I'd really love to have the confidence to shout something insulting at them but I usually just grit my teeth and powerwalk off haha. I've been followed home, had people grope me in crowds, had sober men try lead me away from my friends when I've been out drinking... it's horrible, and reading how many people have to deal with this is even more so :c


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## Bowie (Mar 30, 2015)

Crys said:


> this isn't my problems are worse than yours. Everything needs to be taken seriously and solved so stop trying to compare  like this is a contest.



Wait, you don't understand. I think that all of it needs taken seriously. There are a lot of behavioural problems in the world that need changed and I agree entirely that things like it need worked on. All I'm saying is that it would upset me to see a woman start calling herself a victim of rape over smaller (but equally important) issues.



Jake. said:


> umm in order for sexual harassment to be stopped/lessened all of it needs to be taken seriously. just because something is "less serious" doesn't make it any less important. And how is anything going to be "overshadowed" if someone called the police for staring at them?? last time I checked the police can only take action once certain boundaries have been crossed, and pretty sure "staring at someone" isn't going to make them take any action. Of course, if it's an on going problem then yes, but the one off, they're more than likely going to ignore it - it's not like they're going to take priority over someone who stared at someone than someone who raped someone...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I do not view the issues raised here as insignificant or unimportant. They're all important. The only problem I've ever had is women who would compare it to rape. And why am I talking about women all the time? Men do it as well. It's awful. I just want to make clear that I didn't mean to offend anyone with what I had to say. All I wished to imply was that I think it's wrong of people to compare themselves to victims of rape and sexual torture.


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## unravel (Mar 30, 2015)

Thats why parents rold you at the young age that not to talk or go with strangers and you have to be careful. Ah yes I bring pepper spray everywhere I go if ever someone tries to 'assault me or whatever I can use my id sling, pepper stray, knife or bag (to choke them) as defense lol


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## hzl (Mar 30, 2015)

EDIT -
didn't realize we're only going on about catcalling and stuff and not actual sexual assault.


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## lithiumlatte (Mar 30, 2015)

It's a bit too personal for me to share my stories, but I just want to say how it's so heartbreaking to see so many of us affected ;_; None of you deserve that >.<


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## Aizu (Mar 30, 2015)

In the streets nothing really happens fortunately, however when I went to a convention dressed as Popstar Ahri I did have quite a few comments, guys tried to touch my boobs, probably didn't help I was in a cosplay that was pretty revealing in that area, but some guys need to control themselves.


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## ShinyYoshi (Mar 30, 2015)

After posting in this thread, I've been thinking a lot and it opened up some extremely oppressed memories I hid away for a reason. And it makes my first post not even seem that bad, at least to me. It really makes you wonder what's going on inside these peoples heads that makes them think it's okay or "entertaining" to violate someone and scar them. 

I hope all of you, no matter what gender, will carry something that can protect you incase (God forbid) you are in a situation where you might be subject to harassment. </3


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## Ghost Soda (Mar 30, 2015)

Fortunately, it never happened to me, and if someone ever did that to me or someone I care about, I'll go ape**** on them.


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## Celestefey (Mar 30, 2015)

Thankfully, I have never experienced anything as bad as some of you guys have mentioned. To be honest, I've had some creepy teenage boys try to chat me and my friends up before when we've been out at a shopping center or walking back to my house or something, and ask for my number or their number or something... Which was horrifying and terrifying enough. Usually though, they are a laughing loudly and it just comes across as being really intimidating. I remember one time some boy came over to me and my friend and was like "That guy over there wants your number". He ran off, but I noticed my friend give him the most EVIL death stare I had ever seen. Then she said to me: "I was gonna kick him if he carried on", because she's a black belt in Taekwondo. xD In all honesty, it was rather intimidating and threatening, and I'd have liked to have seen someone get a taste of their own medicine. Some real creepers out there, to say the least!


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## Feloreena (Mar 30, 2015)

I've had my fair share of catcalling/wolf-whistling since around the age of 13 and it still happens now. I've also had people grope my butt in bars before and walk off when I am just standing there ordering a drink and not wearing anything revealing. It makes me so uncomfortable and I have no idea why some people think it's okay to treat random women (or men) they see in public like that.


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## eggs (Mar 30, 2015)

i've only experienced catcalling and strange/prolonged stares. i never like to go out in public without at least one person i know by my side (preferably my boyfriend or family), so that's probably why i haven't been through more. thank goodness.

my little sister is 7 and she's already had creepy, older guys staring at her. can't stand it. people who sexually harass random strangers are seriously messed up.


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## cosmic-latte (Mar 30, 2015)

Yes, I've been whistled/shouted at multiple times in the area around my school, wearing my uniform and with friends.


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## tinytaylor (Mar 30, 2015)

i've been cat called and scooped a couple of times. i'm sure there are other things but i'd rather not dwell on all of those horrific incidents rn.


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## Ragdoll (Mar 30, 2015)

Was walking to school one time and some guy jus 'eyo mama lemme getcho numba'. I was wearing my fricken uniform.

Extremely irritated, but I ignored them >:c


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## infinikitten (Mar 30, 2015)

Constantly. I could write a lot about this subject but I think I'd be in tears by the end of it, honestly. I'm going to try to keep this shortish for my own mental health but maybe on a better day I'll be able to write more. (Also a bit worried that there's going to be some victim blaming popping up in this thread. I'm going to ask all of you from the bottom of my heart, please don't. Just... don't.)

If I go out alone, or with someone who's not very threatening (I say this because my partner is 6'3 and has a resting ***** face, for lack of a better term - no one even looks twice at me when we're out together, haha), I'm usually accosted by someone in some way shape or form. Groups of men or teenage boys are the worst. I hate walking by them and do everything I can to avoid them. It's very rare that something doesn't get shouted at me.

You know, I'm torn. I have so much to say but I'm scared to delve too deep into it here...

One incident in particular that sticks out was when I was walking in my own neighborhood when I was sixteen or seventeen - bit of background here, my parents are divorced and it was my mother's place, which was in a more suburban community. Safe and quiet streets. But I was walking to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner I think, and a bunch of boys started circling around me on their bikes, following me, yelling extremely vulgar things at me. Nobody groped me but they did seem to think it was hilarious that their close proximity to me was clearly making me upset. I had my headphones on and pretended not to hear it, tried not to respond, because you can never predict what will happen if you do... but I was terrified.

In terms of assaults... they were not by strangers. Most are committed by people the victim knows. I have PTSD and catcalling/harassment was hard to deal with BEFORE, but now? :/ Luckily I don't go out alone much by myself anymore so I haven't had to deal with it recently. My mother and I joke that being harassed by strangers is a "family curse" because she's often bothered as well (though not in a sexual manner as far as I'm aware, thank god) but really it's not funny at all.

And with that, I'm gonna stop for now. I really wish I had the mental fortitude to participate more in this discussion since it's so important to me but...


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## Karminny (Mar 30, 2015)

I was walking into a store, when a group of guys honked their car at me.. in school, this group of guys that looked like 11th or 12th graders were walking really slow in front of me, so I complained to my friend about it. They heard ((which was the goal)), and one of the guys started trying to flirt with me.


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## J e s s i c a (Mar 30, 2015)

J e s s i c a said:


> This is one of the reasons why i don't go out by myself tho i'm 15 but i'm not as bad as my sister tho... she hardly ever leaves the house and is so pale she kinda scars me. People that do this kind of thing to somebody that is as young as eight makes me question the world... far enough if they were around their age but still it's still kinda wrong. But people that do this to children just make me sick but that is just my thoughts. But i have never had this happen to me thank god and i feel sorry for people that have had this done to them...



Edit: Yeah now i think about it this has happen to me but by only by a few boys that i am close friends with that catcalled me and my friends as a joke and start asking us uncomfortable questions and this was a so called "joke" we did not find it funny what so ever and soon sent them packing ~


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## penguins (Mar 30, 2015)

around the holidays last year some guys in their 20's were following me and my friend while we were christmas shopping
it went on for like 20 minutes but we got really so nervous that we were escorted out by two mall security officers 
also i walk home everyday from school and i always walked down a main street where the buses would drive 
but on one of the buses (with the high school kids) there are about five people that would yell pretty crude stuff and i see them in school and stuff so it scared me (i walk with my guy friend in the halls now) 
so i started walking down side streets too to avoid it 
it's so unfortunate how people think it's okay to harass and make advances to women/young girls 
my uncle gave me pepperspray when i was seven and i didnt know why then but now i know 
it's sad. v sad.


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## MagicalCat590 (Mar 30, 2015)

I used to experience catcalling and all sorts of stuff when I lived in my hometown. People seem to bother me less now that I'm married, though. A few years ago, my husband took me to a horror movie marathon at his college campus for Halloween, and I decided to dress up for fun, and one his friends just kept openly staring at my breasts. The worst time, though, actually happened when I was back at home, living with my mom. I was about 17/18, and one of my ex's used to come by and bring us old movies to watch because we didn't have cable or tv or anything, and my little sister was 3, so we wanted to have stuff we could watch as a family. And then one night, when he was leaving the ex actually grabbed my butt on his way out, and if he ever went somewhere with my mom and I, he would hit on me when my mom wasn't around. Because of my social anxiety, I didn't know how to stand up to this person and tell him no. I just had an anxiety attack whenever he did something. It went on for about four months before I told my mother, and at first she actually didn't believe me. She said I was crazy. Then a month later, he groped me again and I told her that she needed to talk to him and tell him I wasn't okay with it or else I was going to the police to file sexual harassment charges. So she finally talked to him, but I knew she didn't believe me. The ex came back the next, and gave me a free TV and DVD player for my bedroom to keep my mouth shut. A year later when I had just moved in with my husband, I found out that the ex had been arrested for pedophilia.


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## epona (Mar 30, 2015)

i've been dragged down a lane by two men before, it was about two years ago so i would have been 16/17 at the time
it was absolutely terrifying and luckily i'd done a very basic self defense module in school, so i was able to get my wrist free and run back to the main road
it all happened very very quickly and i don't tell people about it because i feel like i over-reacted about the whole thing, but i was very shaken and spooked and it terrifies me that that could happen to me in broad daylight in my own city on a main road

obviously i've been wolf-whistled and cat called and shouted at countless times (who hasn't?) and i've been followed at night more times than i can count too

also i was on the train once and the guy sitting next to me put his hand on my thigh, but that and what i've outlined above are the most prominent cases i've had of sexual harrasment in public with strangers


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## Delphine (Mar 30, 2015)

I came across quite a lot (well, "a lot", like maybe twenty times a year since I was 11) of guys who whistled at me or called me beautiful, paid me compliments when I was just walking, not asking anything. And though it's not THAT much of a big deal to be honest (at the end of the day I don't care), it makes me mad on the moment, and it makes me even angrier when some people around me are like "Why do you complain? Isn't it nice to get compliments?", and I understand them, but they should know there's a time and a place for everything, and I'm never flattered by strangers, especially when they're just shouting and seem to be really wanting it.

The worst experience I ever had was during the F?te de la Musique (World Music Day), I was in the subway (which was crowded) with my friends, and as people moved at each station, I got a little separated from them. Then I began to feel something touching my behind, I thought it was nothing and just the people pushing each other in the subway, but then I realized there was a guy touching himself right behind me. One of the worst moment of my life. I felt anxious, sacred, and I didn't dare do anything, my heart was beating fast, it was horrible. There were too many people for me to shout or do anything. 

But at the next stop, a tall guy looked at me and told me "Is this man annoying you, miss?" and I didn't dare answer that yes, I just babbled something like "Well yeah but it's because it's crowded in here", and so the tall guy grabbed the creep behind me by the ear, pulled him outside shouting "Now you live this young girl alone!", turned out he was a cop and then four others cops arrived and arrested the guy. I didn't press charges against him, I was so chocked I just wanted to go home so I didn't even thank the policeman, I didn't even take the time to stay with them a little... I just wanted to go home and hide, and most importantly, feel safe. On the way home I cried a little... 

I do regret not asking for help or defending myself, I do regret not thanking the policemen for their help and their work that I admire so much and that really saved me from embarrassment this time, I do regret feeling terrible on the way back home because of all the people around me, who perfectly knew what was going on, and who just stared at me after the events, talking between themselves and looking at me like I was some sort of attraction for them to gossip about, but then again, when I think about it now, I truly think I had a normal reaction. So yeah. That's my experience with sexual harassment. Could've been worse... could be better. Should be better.


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## DarkDesertFox (Mar 30, 2015)

I feel bad for all the people here who had/have to experience this stuff. It seems to have become an increasing problem with men sexually harassing women the most. When I was younger I was sexually harassed a little by a girl. She touched me in uncomfortable places. I'm a guy so those kind of experiences are rarer for me. It's the only one I can really recall.


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## graceroxx (Mar 30, 2015)

I haven't had a lot of experience with this thankfully...but when I was 11 or 12, I was outside riding my bike when this car slowed down and there were a bunch of middle-aged men in it. One of them leaned out and yelled "heyyy little girl!" then they drove away.
It freaked me out. All I remember about the guy was that he kinda looked like Psy from Gangnam Style.

Another one: around the same timeframe, my dad & I went to a grocery store. There was this creepy old guy that was staring at me the whole time and he was trying to follow us. When we were leaving, he followed us out the door. I ran to the car and we drove away, that creepy old guy kept staring the whole time.
Thank goodness my dad was there...


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## Finnian (Mar 30, 2015)

lol not sicne i was 13.
once i got fat, people stopped paying attention
i guess there are pros to being flabby!


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## boujee (Mar 30, 2015)

Just catcalls? 
Will other experiences count other than sexual harassment? You know, victims? Hmm, cold memories. *sigh*


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## Hirosuka (Mar 30, 2015)

I have, but I guess some of them continued bc I was stupid, didn't want to hurt anyone or cause embarrassment

- In tech ed a couple of years ago, we were in the woodwork unit. This was in the beginning of the year so the instructor was reviewing how to use to machines. Later during the class period while we were practicing cutting nearly "perfect" lines with the machines, I needed help adjusting the blade guard. I stepped aside so the instructor would do it for me, but instead he like..he told me to go back to where I was and instead he adjusted it for me with his arms resting on my shoulders and I swear I felt his hand brush against my chest, like wtf.. =-= and I've had him for my tech ed teacher the following years afterwards

- I had this close guy friend. I've only known him for like a year but we still considered each other as close friends. We both know we have disturbingly perverted minds, so we make a lot of dirty actions and jokes around eachother..then he started just rubbing my back, arms and even legs whenever he'd sit by me. We called it friendly "molesting" as a friend joke, but it was still so weird. I didn't mind bc I actually do the same thing with my girlfriends, so what's the difference ._. Later on he actually slipped his hand up the front of my shirt while his other hand was pinning my unoccupied hand behind my back. Yeah I'm not friends with him anymore

- During lunch, I was standing outside the bathroom waiting for my friend to do her business. While I was waiting for her, the janitor was suppose to be changing the trash..while he was changing it, when he saw me he just stood there staring at me. I tried ignoring him but this went on for another ten seconds. (side note : the shirt I was wearing covered most of my chest but it was really thin so my undergarment outline was faintly visible) Just to break the awkwardness, I said hi and he waved..but he kept staring ._. our convo afterwards:

me : do you want something ?
janitor : no, if you're done eating go back outside
me : I'm waiting for a friend. Is there a reason why you're staring at me ?
janitor: yeah, I just like the design on your shirt. It's really stylish

I took it as a compliment and just went into the bathroom to see if my friend was done..later during the day I realized my shirt didn't even have a design on it >_<


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## oreo (Mar 31, 2015)

Gamzee said:


> Just catcalls?
> Will other experiences count other than sexual harassment? You know, victims? Hmm, cold memories. *sigh*


Of course. :c

- - - Post Merge - - -



Bowie said:


> All I'm saying is that it would upset me to see a woman start calling herself a victim of rape over smaller (but equally important) issues.
> 
> The only problem I've ever had is women who would compare it to rape. And why am I talking about women all the time? Men do it as well. It's awful. I just want to make clear that I didn't mean to offend anyone with what I had to say. All I wished to imply was that I think it's wrong of people to compare themselves to victims of rape and sexual torture.


I'm pretty sure most of us would be upset to see women or men compare themselves as victims of rape over something small as a wolf-whistle. Still, it's important for many to reach out to each other about their experiences, regardless if it's something small. There is a difference between a stranger complimenting you on a street in a friendly manner than a person who is persistent with their unwanted actions/conversations even though the victim is clearly not interested or is minding her own business.


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## Nix (Mar 31, 2015)

I've had my butt slapped before and had a stalker in high school simply because I treated him nicely. I thought he just needed a friend because he found out my friend didn't like him...then he would creepily hang out around me and my friends and eat while watching us during lunch.​


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## Brielle (Mar 31, 2015)

"We can't be friends? Nothing...?"
Who the **** think he is? Is she looking for friends on the streets? 
To the bs that men spread how I should be honored to take a compliment, go drown in a well.


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## Kissyme100 (Mar 31, 2015)

I had a couple minor accidents like older men(like grandpa old) or homeless people trying to hit on men. The worst thing that happened to me during the summer was when I was 16, I was walking around town after work, grabbing snacks for a meet up with my friends. It was the middle of the day and there was lots of people around so, I felt safe. I was wearing a floral dress that came JUST above my knees. (not that it matters what someone wears, sexual harassment is still wrong) and the moment I passed this guy, he started following me, staring at me.. I noticed this and walked a little faster and he starts walking faster. I quickly ran across a parking lot and this car drove between us. I grabbed my phone (to text my friend about this creepy guy) and I guess he saw my phone and walked off somewhere else. I've never seen him after that so, I think he was a tourist. 
Other then that one time, I feel very safe where I live.


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## Allycat (Mar 31, 2015)

Bowie said:


> I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.



yes, but this is problem is overshadowed by_ real_ terrible situations. I feel men are quick to add in these scenarios when talking about the rights of women. You don't see people demeaning victims of theft by "sometimes people falsely accuse others of stealing" even if it does happen.

I don't mean to offend you, but "false accusations" is not the topic of the thread. Again, please if I offended you, I'm sorry! But your post slightly unsettled me.

As you can see, so many women on this board have experience REAL and terrible things, and that's incredibly saddening.


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## Mayorofarcadia (Mar 31, 2015)

Thankfully I haven't experienced it full on. 

Like, at the gym this creepy 40yo often winks at me and calls me babe.. 
And I often feel people gawking at me, (gym clothes are just impossible especially with a chest and ass) 

But this thread is important.


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## Bowie (Mar 31, 2015)

Allycat said:


> yes, but this is problem is overshadowed by_ real_ terrible situations. I feel men are quick to add in these scenarios when talking about the rights of women. You don't see people demeaning victims of theft by "sometimes people falsely accuse others of stealing" even if it does happen.
> 
> I don't mean to offend you, but "false accusations" is not the topic of the thread. Again, please if I offended you, I'm sorry! But your post slightly unsettled me.
> 
> As you can see, so many women on this board have experience REAL and terrible things, and that's incredibly saddening.



No, it's fine! I can understand how it would make you feel. The things some people have talked about on this thread are truly awful, and I'm not trying to say they're irrelevant or anything of the sort. When I say real, I just mean more. Like, you couldn't compare rape to being looked at, for example. That's what I mean by real. Sexual harassment comes in many different forms, but it seems as if a lot of women are creating stereotypes for men. 

I bet that if any man genuinely said anything nice to that woman in the video Brielle shared, it would have been cut. The video is only a minute long anyway, and she had supposedly been walking for 10 hours. I'm sorry if anything I've said in this thread has upset you or anyone else. It's just difficult for me when I see a world where the most innocent of actions are taken out of context.


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## kayleee (Mar 31, 2015)

I was at a concert and a SECURITY GAURD (kinda ironic) grabbed my hips to get past me in the pit and totally rubbed his junk against me. There was more than enough space for him to just walk behind me without touching me. It was absolutely ridiculous

- - - Post Merge - - -



Bowie said:


> No, it's fine! I can understand how it would make you feel. The things some people have talked about on this thread are truly awful, and I'm not trying to say they're irrelevant or anything of the sort. When I say real, I just mean more. Like, you couldn't compare rape to being looked at, for example. That's what I mean by real. Sexual harassment comes in many different forms, but it seems as if a lot of women are creating stereotypes for men.
> 
> I bet that if any man genuinely said anything nice to that woman in the video Brielle shared, it would have been cut. The video is only a minute long anyway, and she had supposedly been walking for 10 hours. I'm sorry if anything I've said in this thread has upset you or anyone else. It's just difficult for me when I see a world where the most innocent of actions are taken out of context.



Whistling at someone is not an "innocent action." It is sexualizing someone, and when that attention is unwanted, it is sexual harassment. I'm sorry, but older men looking at young women and not only thinking of them sexually, but making it known out loud to the individual that they are thinking of them sexually is absolutely repulsive. And, having been in the situation personally, it can be extremely uncomfortable and thus could be deemed as harassment. 
I get what you're saying that not EVERY comment has an insidious motive, but the thing is as a woman, we can usually tell the difference between the innocent comments and the ones that we feel sexually harassed by, and therefore would not bring up those moments in a discussion about sexual harassment.


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## Yoshisaur (Mar 31, 2015)

My public social interactions are limited. So, no.


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## oreo (Mar 31, 2015)

kayleee said:


> Whistling at someone is not an "innocent action." It is sexualizing someone, and when that attention is unwanted, it is sexual harassment. I'm sorry, but older men looking at young women and not only thinking of them sexually, but making it known out loud to the individual that they are thinking of them sexually is absolutely repulsive. And, having been in the situation personally, it can be extremely uncomfortable and thus could be deemed as harassment.
> I get what you're saying that not EVERY comment has an insidious motive, but the thing is as a woman, we can usually tell the difference between the innocent comments and the ones that we feel sexually harassed by, and therefore would not bring up those moments in a discussion about sexual harassment.


I was going to say something similar. Thanks for bringing these important points up.


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## honeymoo (Mar 31, 2015)

A group of girls whistled at me from their car once while I was walking past downtown, that's really all.


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## Amichann (Mar 31, 2015)

Last summer during an anime convention, I had to walk to UPS to get more prints printed (unfortunately, the FedEx in the hotel was closed, which is sad for them because I'm sure tons of artists would have used it). 
Anyway, on my way back, some random guy came up to me and kept talking to me. He kept offering me random stuff and I just kept saying, "no thanks". I tried to walk faster but he just kept following me and asking me where I was going. I found a group of girls also walking back to the hotel and said, " there you are! I've been looking for you!" The guy left after, and I had to explain to the girls what happened.


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## Bowie (Mar 31, 2015)

kayleee said:


> Whistling at someone is not an "innocent action." It is sexualizing someone, and when that attention is unwanted, it is sexual harassment. I'm sorry, but older men looking at young women and not only thinking of them sexually, but making it known out loud to the individual that they are thinking of them sexually is absolutely repulsive. And, having been in the situation personally, it can be extremely uncomfortable and thus could be deemed as harassment.
> I get what you're saying that not EVERY comment has an insidious motive, but the thing is as a woman, we can usually tell the difference between the innocent comments and the ones that we feel sexually harassed by, and therefore would not bring up those moments in a discussion about sexual harassment.



If this was a continuous thing and I was being stalked, it would be different, but it's like wanting to kill somebody because they wink at you. If you don't want them to, tell them to stop, and if they don't, then you can call it sexual harassment. Harassment implies it's pressuring and continuous.

I'm not saying it's particularly right. A gentleman wouldn't be that forceful, and as a male myself, I know I wouldn't do anything of that nature to anybody, and I truly do feel sorry for whatever it is that happened in your situation. You and no other woman can automatically tell whether a comment is sexual or not, though. That's complete rubbish. If anything, it's a matter of assumption. That's still not your fault, though. It's society's fault that everything is sexualised.

Again, I feel that any man (or woman) who does that should keep it to themselves, but all I'm saying is that people need to lighten up about it unless it's legitimate harassment. The people in this thread have been legitimately harassed. I was not directing my comment at anybody in particular.


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## kayleee (Mar 31, 2015)

Bowie said:


> If this was a continuous thing and I was being stalked, it would be different, but it's like wanting to kill somebody because they wink at you. If you don't want them to, tell them to stop, and if they don't, then you can call it sexual harassment. Harassment implies it's pressuring and continuous.
> 
> I'm not saying it's particularly right. A gentleman wouldn't be that forceful, and as a male myself, I know I wouldn't do anything of that nature to anybody, and I truly do feel sorry for whatever it is that happened in your situation. You and no other woman can automatically tell whether a comment is sexual or not, though. That's complete rubbish. If anything, it's a matter of assumption. That's still not your fault, though. It's society's fault that everything is sexualised.
> 
> Again, I feel that any man (or woman) who does that should keep it to themselves, but all I'm saying is that people need to lighten up about it unless it's legitimate harassment. The people in this thread have been legitimately harassed. I was not directing my comment at anybody in particular.


Well then it's just a matter of opinion. I feel that any unwanted sexual attention directed at me is legitimate harassment, and I'm not speaking for every woman but I am sure there are other women who feel the same. Who are you to tell me that my feeling harassed is not "legitimate?" No offense, but as a male you really don't have a leg to stand on saying "lighten up" to women who feel harassed or uncomfortable in these situations. Sure, maybe you're a "gentleman" who doesn't do that, but that doesnt really matter in the grand scheme of things because there are still a lot of men who DO do that. You don't really deserve a medal for this "gentleman" bull****, no offense. It's common decency.

And how do you know if I and other women can't tell a comment is sexual or not? How would you even prove that? What a stupid thing to say.


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## fup10k (Mar 31, 2015)

Lots of "accidental" chest touching, lots of openly staring at my cleavage, lots of inappropriate comments, cat calling, whistling, etc. 

Countless times. :/ online and IRL. 
I kind of just learned to smile and GTFO as soon as possible. 
(I might start making a huge scene about it if there's other people around now though; they deserve to feel as uncomfortable as they make me feel.)


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## skelthy (Mar 31, 2015)

Had a guy keep following me around and harassing me. The worst part was the fact that nobody else around me noticed what was going on.


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## eggs (Mar 31, 2015)

Bowie said:


> If this was a continuous thing and I was being stalked, it would be different, but it's like wanting to kill somebody because they wink at you. If you don't want them to, tell them to stop, and if they don't, then you can call it sexual harassment. Harassment implies it's pressuring and continuous.
> 
> I'm not saying it's particularly right. A gentleman wouldn't be that forceful, and as a male myself, I know I wouldn't do anything of that nature to anybody, and I truly do feel sorry for whatever it is that happened in your situation. You and no other woman can automatically tell whether a comment is sexual or not, though. That's complete rubbish. If anything, it's a matter of assumption. That's still not your fault, though. It's society's fault that everything is sexualised.
> 
> Again, I feel that any man (or woman) who does that should keep it to themselves, but all I'm saying is that people need to lighten up about it unless it's legitimate harassment. The people in this thread have been legitimately harassed. I was not directing my comment at anybody in particular.



i know that you two are having an argument right now, but i have to butt in and say that i think this conversation has gone a bit too far. if you two keep this up, this entire thread may be closed by a mod, so please stop.

i'm not saying that anyone is right. however, what i am saying is that this should be taken somewhere else aka PM, VM, or anything else i haven't mentioned. this thread is a place where people can share their experiences and console one another, knowing that they're not alone -- NOT a place where people can argue about what is and isn't sexual harassment (which is somewhat ridiculous, why bring that up HERE of all threads?).


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## kayleee (Mar 31, 2015)

eggs said:


> i know that you two are having an argument right now, but i have to butt in and say that i think this conversation has gone a bit too far. if you two keep this up, this entire thread may be closed by a mod, so please stop.
> 
> i'm not saying that anyone is right. however, what i am saying is that this should be taken somewhere else aka PM, VM, or anything else i haven't mentioned. this thread is a place where people can share their experiences and console one another, knowing that they're not alone -- NOT a place where people can argue about what is and isn't sexual harassment (which is somewhat ridiculous, why bring that up HERE of all threads?).



First of all this isn't an argument this is a discussion, so umm I'm not sure what to tell you. With that said, I would prefer not to continue this conversation in PM so please don't PM me lmao


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## Bowie (Mar 31, 2015)

eggs said:


> i know that you two are having an argument right now, but i have to butt in and say that i think this conversation has gone a bit too far. if you two keep this up, this entire thread may be closed by a mod, so please stop.
> 
> i'm not saying that anyone is right. however, what i am saying is that this should be taken somewhere else aka PM, VM, or anything else i haven't mentioned. this thread is a place where people can share their experiences and console one another, knowing that they're not alone -- NOT a place where people can argue about what is and isn't sexual harassment (which is somewhat ridiculous, why bring that up HERE of all threads?).



Yes, I think this should end. I'm very sorry for whatever I've done to start an argument, but I'm just speaking my mind here. I had no intentions of starting any arguments with anybody.



kayleee said:


> Well then it's just a matter of opinion. I feel that any unwanted sexual attention directed at me is legitimate harassment, and I'm not speaking for every woman but I am sure there are other women who feel the same. Who are you to tell me that my feeling harassed is not "legitimate?" No offense, but as a male you really don't have a leg to stand on saying "lighten up" to women who feel harassed or uncomfortable in these situations. Sure, maybe you're a "gentleman" who doesn't do that, but that doesnt really matter in the grand scheme of things because there are still a lot of men who DO do that. You don't really deserve a medal for this "gentleman" bull****, no offense. It's common decency.
> 
> And how do you know if I and other women can't tell a comment is sexual or not? How would you even prove that? What a stupid thing to say.



Did you even read what I said? I'm not sure if I should even bother knocking sense into that head of yours. I do not speak for any woman or man, and I do not condone any disrespectful actions against either gender, whether it be sexual or not. That's as far as I'm going here. You're taking everything I've said out of context to make me sound like a stereotypical male, and it's absolutely ridiculous.

I never said women should lighten up about sexual harassment. I'm saying you shouldn't ambush men just because they look at you or tell you to have a nice day. There's a big difference between being harassed and being spoken to. If I were feeling at all uncomfortable with what someone was saying or doing to me, I'd let them know and get out of there. Do you think I expect women to just suck up to men? I don't. I am nobody to tell you to do that either. Also, why would I want a medal? And when did I say I was a gentleman? You're just putting words in my mouth.

I think anyone with a brain would be able to tell if somebody was flirting with you or not, but flirting is not sexual harassment unless you've told them to stop and they won't. You're making me sound like some old, sexist pain in the butt, but I probably think more of women than you do, and I'm gay! I just wasn't aware of the fact women have magical abilities.


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## eggs (Mar 31, 2015)

from a viewer standpoint, this is an argument. once again, i ask you to stop.

- - - Post Merge - - -



kayleee said:


> First of all this isn't an argument this is a discussion, so umm I'm not sure what to tell you. With that said, I would prefer not to continue this conversation in PM so please don't PM me lmao



then do VMs. anywhere else, just not here.


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## Bowie (Mar 31, 2015)

eggs said:


> from a viewer standpoint, this is an argument. once again, i ask you to stop.



I've said my peace. I'm done. I'm so sorry.


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## kayleee (Mar 31, 2015)

Bowie said:


> Yes, I think this should end. I'm very sorry for whatever I've done to start an argument, but I'm just speaking my mind here. I had no intentions of starting any arguments with anybody.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



How old even are you? I think you've still got a lot to learn about the world, bud. Women confronting men and simply "asking them to stop" is not as easy as you clearly think it is, and can sometimes have devastating consequences. But clearly no sense has been "knocked into that head of yours." And you being gay has absolutely nothing to do with anything so not sure why you threw that on the table as if that would somehow change how ignorant your statements are.


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## Bowie (Mar 31, 2015)

kayleee said:


> How old even are you? I think you've still got a lot to learn about the world, bud. Women confronting men and simply "asking them to stop" is not as easy as you clearly think it is, and can sometimes have devastating consequences. But clearly no sense has been "knocked into that head of yours." And you being gay has absolutely nothing to do with anything so not sure why you threw that on the table as if that would somehow change how ignorant your statements are.



Let's just end it here, all right? I've got nothing more to say.


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## kayleee (Mar 31, 2015)

Bowie said:


> Let's just end it here, all right? I've got nothing more to say.



Hahahaha okay. Nice chat thanks for the fun


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## Franny (Mar 31, 2015)

a few years ago i had a deviantart, and i met a guy who made comics and whatnot and we became friends really quick. over a span of time he kept asking me to take pictures of me in my nightgown or take pictures of me almost naked so he could use them as comic references for his characters. blocked that guy and never heard from him again.
mind you at the time i was 12.
he was 30.


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## inkling (Mar 31, 2015)

Wow that story really grosses me out. There are a lot of creepers in this world. But there is a subset of men that will be nice and give compliments to women and it doesn't offend me at all, sometimes it makes me feel good or put in a good mood bc their mood is just radiating. There are also young boys who catcall just to get a rise or reaction out of girls, I worked with guys like these. I donno it just depends. But there are a lot of creepy pedos in the world. Also men that do treat attractive women as mere objects, but other women do it to them too.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Oops off topic...The answer is yes. At one of my jobs my bosses dad attempted to kiss me and it was so disgusting I locked up and walked right out and texted him. Another instance was a ****ty manager who also tried kissing me and hitting on me constantly. How did I feel? Horrible. Violated. I felt wrong, like I did something wrong. Like I was to blame, that I somehow come off as a slut and would think of ways to not give people the wrong idea. How do these instances effect my daily life? They have made me awkward and nervous in so many situations. I am still getting over all of the times I've been scarred in these types of situations.


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## Franny (Mar 31, 2015)

inkling said:


> Wow that story really grosses me out. There are a lot of creepers in this world. But there is a subset of men that will be nice and give compliments to women and it doesn't offend me at all, sometimes it makes me feel good or put in a good mood bc their mood is just radiating. There are also young boys who catcall just to get a rise or reaction out of girls, I worked with guys like these. I donno it just depends. But there are a lot of creepy pedos in the world. Also men that do treat attractive women as mere objects, but other women do it to them too.


ive noticed alot of people at my school try to attract girls attention by calling them sexy/hot but they do it just to annoy them and get a ruse of them. if it ever happens i just ignore it because its not worth reacting too, its kinda like how people always say "dont feed the troll?" dont feed the creeper.
though sometimes its not that easy of course but still. it's gross. (girls do it here too so its not just a guy thing, and its equally as gross.)


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## inkling (Mar 31, 2015)

Sucre said:


> ive noticed alot of people at my school try to attract girls attention by calling them sexy/hot but they do it just to annoy them and get a ruse of them. if it ever happens i just ignore it because its not worth reacting too, its kinda like how people always say "dont feed the troll?" dont feed the creeper.
> though sometimes its not that easy of course but still. it's gross. (girls do it here too so its not just a guy thing, and its equally as gross.)



I agree, and that's mainly why its difficult to talk about these types of situations. I guess in the end there might be a difference between bullying/harassment/intimidation and teasing in general. I remember in high school I was stalked by one particular guy who whenever he saw me, anytime, any day in school or outside school he would yell a mean nickname he gave me really loud repeatedly. Obviously this isn't sexual harassment but it was a type of bullying that did scar me in a sense if I think deeply about it. At the time, I didn't let it bother me at first, I tried to let it slide, even though it reallly embarressed me and hurt my pride, but once it happened outside of school near my house where I was walking, I literally wanted to die. And sure its one of those thing you have to pretend to be tough and not let it bother you, but being bullied affects your future social skills, so does sexual harassment, this is especially true for people that don't grow up in perfect families so they don't get the same tools to deal with life as some others might get.

I donno, I feel vibes. I can tell when someone is being really mean and uncaring (disgusting/evil) and when somebody is joking or being plain stupid/silly.


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## MC4pros (Mar 31, 2015)

This thread is so important, but I cringe every time I read about horrible experiences. >.< I'm so sorry this happened to _anyone._


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## CR33P (Mar 31, 2015)

I WISH.


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## Officer Berri (Mar 31, 2015)

The only time I really remember was on the School Bus when I was a freshmen in high school. From fifth grade until about my junior year I was bullied by many people so I was always used to tuning people out and ignoring them until I could tell a teacher or someone else about it. Well a girl in my grade and a bunch of Juniors and Seniors would always sit and talk to each other about whatever crossed their mind. They usually ignored me, thankfully. I was one of the last people off the bus so I had a long, almost hour long ride I had to listen to them. But one time they decided to focus on me. Started normally. Asking me stupid questions like why I do nothing but draw or why I don't talk to people. I didn't know it at the time but I have a pretty strong anxiety problem and I freak out quite easily. So I stayed quiet to avoid getting freaked out. I ignored them.

Then they decided to ask personal questions. How big are my boobs. Do I trim the hedges? Can I show them? I got really pissed off and told them some colorful things quietly. Of course they told the bus driver. But that woman had known me since kindergarten so she pretended to chide me. When I was getting off the bus, she asked what they did to upset me and I told her. She got angry and told me to tell the school counselors and that she'd write up a report on the incident or something. Well the next day I reported it right after I got into school. At first the counselor tried to pull a 'well maybe they just like you and that's their way of teasing you'. I suppose she was kind of shocked when I got angry at her and told her that if she didn't do something about them bothering me I would tell my parents and they knew they didn't want that. My mom and her husband at the time would do anything to go in and yell at our school. They couldn't stand the way it was run at times. So the situation was dealt with, the boys who bothered me were kicked off the bus (none of the girls who backed them up were, shocking right?) and I didn't have any more problems on the bus anymore. Of course... I only rode that bus one more year until I got fed up with waiting an hour to get home and my grandmother decided she'd take me and my brother home.

Of course... there was another time my family went to a flea market when I was a junior and my stepdad at the time told me not to go too far away because a large group of guys my age had been eying me and following me around since we had entered the building. Terrified me pretty badly to know I hadn't even realized it was happening. Terrified me even more to have to walk around by my self period for the longest time, up until about a year or so ago. I don't know if this really counts as harassment, but it _did_ make me not feel safe by myself as a teenager and into my twenties since I'm a woman. Though... probably my anxiety is to blame for that.

Thanks to my anxiety problems I don't leave the house that often so I don't experience much outside contact anymore beyond occasional doctor and bank visits and when I go volunteer at the preschool I substitute for.


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## MyLifeIsCake (Mar 31, 2015)

Thankfully nothing physical happened to me _this_ year, (probably cause I started being blunt and outright with people) but in the past I have been touched, grabbed, called at, etc. I don't ever recall anything significant happening in public, but at school one time some guy I was sitting next to decided to reach under the desk grab my ***** for no reason, while he asked me a a lot of inappropriate questions. Unfortunately, I was in eighth grade and shy so I didn't really say or do anything just nodded it off, but if that were today I would have sent his **** up his *******.


edit: Ach. The post above me reminded me there _was _something that happened this year. It wasn't outright directed twords me but a lot of girls. In the begging of the year there was a guy on my bus who would take up an entire seat everyday and sit alone playing his 3DS facing the aisle where people walked on. Well, I started noticing a snapping sound every time certain people walked by.( At first I thought  he was just taking screenshots of his game, like you can do with some of the games) Then I started to realize that it was directed at people passing by, specifically just girls._ And it was going on for weeks and no one noticed!_ Finally one day when I got on the bus and heard the snap I went off on him and called him out telling him you can't just take pictures of people without telling him, especially girls walking by. His face got super red and a couple other girls joined in. Haven't seen him do it since and everyday I get on the bus I give him the stink eye.


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## Gusmanak (Mar 31, 2015)

Er, a friend of mine continues to like do weird/sexual things that you could call groping.

It feels really unneeded and uncomfortable since i'm only asexual towards guys and my crush was right there.


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## Katattacc (Mar 31, 2015)

carlaeleni said:


> I have been catcalled more times than I care to remember. Like somebody else mentioned here earlier, it's not because I'm ~amazingly attractive~, it's because sadly it seems to be a common thing for some men to do. The creepiest thing about it is that I probably received more unwanted male attention from ages 13-16, from older men. Being naive at the time I used to take it as a compliment. If it happens to me now it makes me really angry because I'm more aware of why they think it's acceptable to do it! I'd really love to have the confidence to shout something insulting at them but I usually just grit my teeth and powerwalk off haha. I've been followed home, had people grope me in crowds, had sober men try lead me away from my friends when I've been out drinking... it's horrible, and reading how many people have to deal with this is even more so :c



Yep! Same stuff that happens to me all the time, you just elaborated it better . And Now that I think about it I did get a lot more cat calls, looks, and comments when I was younger than I do now ( I am 23). I think it is because I was younger and these men knew that and knew they could get away with it because I was too young to know any better. Now that I am a bit older I think it intimidates men because they know they can't get away with acting like that and still expect me to take them seriously 

- - - Post Merge - - -



Feloreena said:


> I've had my fair share of catcalling/wolf-whistling since around the age of 13 and it still happens now. I've also had people grope my butt in bars before and walk off when I am just standing there ordering a drink and not wearing anything revealing. It makes me so uncomfortable and I have no idea why some people think it's okay to treat random women (or men) they see in public like that.



YES! I can totally relate.


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## Tao (Apr 1, 2015)

I'm male so I can't get sexually harassed *sarcasm*




There's only a few times I've been 'significantly' sexually harassed. (I'll put 'em in spoilers to split them up and make it less messy)



Spoiler



I got a few comments and 'felt up' quite a few times when I had long hair, since they obviously thought I was female from the back (my general 'figure hiding' clothing probably didn't help either). Needless to say, a few of them got a little violent seconds later as though it was my fault they're stupid and as though it was my fault the accidentally harassed a man.

Though I think those cases were pretty funny since they thought they were doing it to a woman, only for me to turn around and reveal a handsome beard.





Spoiler



One girl kind of stalked me for a few months and kept trying to be physical or ask me inappropriate things when I had absolutely no interest. It caused problems with my then girlfriend because, well, it's something that would cause problems and she really didn't seem to care about my relationship status either (note: even if I was single, I would have said "no"). Dunno what happened to her, she just kind of 'disappeared' one day without a trace. Hopefully she went to another country...

She legitimately used "I'm fertile" in an effort to get me to go to her place...Like, really, just no...






Spoiler



There was another girl that was just a bit of a slut. She did a lot of inappropriate things that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. She just generally acted like a slut with every guy in the group. Yano, asking/saying inappropriate things, inappropriate physical actions, the usual 'sexual' stuff. I just really couldn't stand her and it seemed like she did this stuff to me the most, which didn't help.

Funny thing is, the only reason she was there in the first place was that one of our friends kind of 'pawned her off' on us because he couldn't get rid of her and then we didn't see him for about a month...It took us like an hour to realize why he wanted to get rid of her and it took like 2 weeks for us to do the same. We 'gave her' to some other people and started hanging out somewhere else.





Spoiler



There was one gay guy that kept coming onto me really strongly for a few weeks, somehow turning up in all the places I went to (again, stalking) and doing things I really wasn't cool with. Getting all 'touchy' and in my personal space, or just simply commenting or asking questions I wasn't comfortable with. I'm not even sure who he was or how he kept appearing since even my friends only vaguely knew who he was. He pretty much ignored me telling him to stop it so I ended up punching him in the middle of a club where people around us came to the conclusion that it was because I'm homophobic, when in reality I just didn't appreciate being harassed.




I only tend to remember/mention the cases where I've either been made to feel genuinely uncomfortable or when I've been attacked for not being a sexy lady.
Other times I really don't take it that seriously since the 'rare comment' or 'casual flirt' isn't worth getting worked up about (in my opinion)...Though I don't tend to take much seriously in general.


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## Officer Berri (Apr 1, 2015)

I hate when people say men can't get sexually harassed. It just goes to show that they think that women are the only thing worth sexually harassing in my eyes. That or "men don't get sexually harassed! They WANT to be like that with all women!" Makes me sick.

): I'm sorry you've gone through stuff like that! It's absolutely ignorant that only women can be victims.


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## Mahoushoujo (Apr 1, 2015)

the only experience ive had is cat calling p sure, but i remember one time when i was younger me and my sister were at the store and this old man kept staring at my sister weirdly ( uhh she was wearing shorts i think) and i got rlly uncomfortable but i was too scared to do anything :///


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## infinikitten (Apr 1, 2015)

Allycat said:


> yes, but this is problem is overshadowed by_ real_ terrible situations. I feel men are quick to add in these scenarios when talking about the rights of women. You don't see people demeaning victims of theft by "sometimes people falsely accuse others of stealing" even if it does happen.
> 
> I don't mean to offend you, but "false accusations" is not the topic of the thread. Again, please if I offended you, I'm sorry! But your post slightly unsettled me.
> 
> As you can see, so many women on this board have experience REAL and terrible things, and that's incredibly saddening.



Agreed. False accusations have no place in this thread and it was *incredibly *rude for someone to come in here going on about "real problems" vs catcalls. Microaggressions are a thing and it can be a terrifying experience to be followed around a block at night or have strangers yell obscene things at you when you're walking alone. Those are problems. They are valid. Don't you dare tell other people that their experiences don't matter. (General "you" here.)

Again, this issue is extremely close to my heart so I have to curtail my participation here. I'll leave you all with this infographic. You want sources? PM me. I'mma get hostile if I see anyone take it further in the dismissive and/or victim-blaming direction to put it plainly so I'm out.



Spoiler







*
To everyone in this thread who's experienced any form of sexual harassment or assault, I am so, so sorry. And please don't blame yourselves. If you need to talk, I'm around.
*


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## kayleee (Apr 1, 2015)

infinikitten said:


> Agreed. False accusations have no place in this thread and it was *incredibly *rude for someone to come in here going on about "real problems" vs catcalls. Microaggressions are a thing and it can be a terrifying experience to be followed around a block at night or have strangers yell obscene things at you when you're walking alone. Those are problems. They are valid. Don't you dare tell other people that their experiences don't matter. (General "you" here.)
> 
> Again, this issue is extremely close to my heart so I have to curtail my participation here. I'll leave you all with this infographic. You want sources? PM me. I'mma get hostile if I see anyone take it further in the dismissive and/or victim-blaming direction to put it plainly so I'm out.
> 
> ...


I agree 100%. Thank you for posting that image, it is super important for people to realize the reality of these things.


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## Cam1 (Apr 1, 2015)

I have never been harrassed, but one of my friends was. We were walking back to class from lunch and some dude squeezed her butt, so she proceded to slap him and walk away.


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## Eldin (Apr 1, 2015)

I live in a rural area where I know everyone, so catcalls aren't really an issue. But guaranteed every time I go downtown I will run into some creeps.

Last weekend my friend, her sister, and I were walking down the street back to my car and some guy started following/talking to us. Like "oh hey there's all the pretty girls", etc etc. As I was getting in my car he was like, "oh looks like somebody got daddy's car today". I just hollered out the window, "I bought this car, you prick" and peeled off.

That's the only kind of thing I encounter around here. Or being randomly groped/grinded on at clubs occasionally. One time a guy followed me and my cousin around screaming "lesbians!" at us at the top of his lungs, pretty sure he was a little bit out of it. I don't let it bother me, but honestly it can be very scary when it happens and you're alone, or at night. Because usually people will like follow you while they're trying to talk to you and it's very intimidating/aggressive. So it's frustrating when people think it's just "complimenting" and not a big deal. Or that it has to do with being attractive/what you're wearing, this has happened to me a ton of times in the winter when I'm wearing a massive coat/hat/etc or running around in sweatpants. It does not matter.


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## eggs (Apr 1, 2015)

infinikitten said:


> Agreed. False accusations have no place in this thread and it was *incredibly *rude for someone to come in here going on about "real problems" vs catcalls. Microaggressions are a thing and it can be a terrifying experience to be followed around a block at night or have strangers yell obscene things at you when you're walking alone. Those are problems. They are valid. Don't you dare tell other people that their experiences don't matter. (General "you" here.)
> 
> Again, this issue is extremely close to my heart so I have to curtail my participation here. I'll leave you all with this infographic. You want sources? PM me. I'mma get hostile if I see anyone take it further in the dismissive and/or victim-blaming direction to put it plainly so I'm out.
> 
> ...



yes! thank you for this, especially the image. you said exactly what i was thinking.


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## Stalfos (Apr 1, 2015)

A little girl pinched my bottom in line at an amusement park once.


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## Tommi (Apr 1, 2015)

Yes I've been groped by a drunk guy who followed me home one night, he thought it was ok. I showed him it wasn't with a black eye.


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## lithiumlatte (Apr 1, 2015)

CR33P said:


> http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/jcn.gif
> I WISH.



This is really.... not appropriate. :/


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## kikiiii (Apr 1, 2015)

lithiumlatte said:


> This is really.... not appropriate. :/



agreed. also extremely unnecessary????


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## oreo (Apr 1, 2015)

infinikitten said:


> Agreed. False accusations have no place in this thread and it was *incredibly *rude for someone to come in here going on about "real problems" vs catcalls. Microaggressions are a thing and it can be a terrifying experience to be followed around a block at night or have strangers yell obscene things at you when you're walking alone. Those are problems. They are valid. Don't you dare tell other people that their experiences don't matter. (General "you" here.)
> 
> Again, this issue is extremely close to my heart so I have to curtail my participation here. I'll leave you all with this infographic. You want sources? PM me. I'mma get hostile if I see anyone take it further in the dismissive and/or victim-blaming direction to put it plainly so I'm out.
> 
> ...


A+ post! Thank you so much for taking the time to type all of this out. I agree with everything you said. :')


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## kayleee (Apr 18, 2015)

This thread is still extremely relevant, so I'm bringing it back. I just read a super interesting article by Roxane Gay in Glamour magazine, I'm going to try to find it online and post the link.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Here's the link:

http://www.glamour.com/inspired/2015/04/how-to-handle-street-harassment

It's called "don't 'hey, baby' me" and the opening blurb is "An exclusive new survey shows that _96 percent_ of women are harassed on the street. And no: we _don't_ like it."

- - - Post Merge - - -



Sorry for the large image, but this is part of the article that is in the magazine but isn't in the link I posted, and is also EXTREMELY relevant to previous posts in this thread, especially where it says "only 10% of men consider catcalls harrassment."


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## kaylagirl (Apr 18, 2015)

Just going to throw this link out there.



Bowie said:


> I think sexual harassment is an extremely serious issue, and things like being looked at and whistled at need to be separated from it completely. The real issues (rape, legitimate harassment and stalking) are gonna be overshadowed by pathetic women who would call the police if they seen a man smiling at them as they walk. Some people have real problems.





hzl said:


> EDIT -
> didn't realize we're only going on about catcalling and stuff and not actual sexual assault.



Not trying to dig up old disputes, but as you can clearly see, under "Sexual harassment includes many things...", wow, what's that you see listed?!
• Unwanted sexual looks or gestures.
• Unwanted sexual teasing, jokes, remarks, or questions.
• Referring to an adult as a girl, hunk, doll, babe, or honey.
• Whistling at someone.
*• Cat calls.*
• Sexual comments.
• Kissing sounds, howling, and smacking lips.
• Standing close or brushing up against a person.
• Looking a person up and down (elevator eyes).
• Staring at someone.
• Facial expressions, winking, throwing kisses, or licking lips.

OH LOOK! Catcalling! Who knew that was considered important?!
Everything is on equal importance. Everyone should be able to share their experiences.
And for you, Bowie, to call a woman pathetic is terrible. How do you know what else she's been through?
I realize you apologized already, I'm just absolutely in shock, and felt the need to say this.
And for you, hzl, to say catcalling isn't sexual assault, please learn your facts before posting.

I've experienced many sexual harassment experiences myself. I'm not going to list them for the sake of a long post, but I'm with you all! Stay strong everyone!


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## HeyPatience (Apr 18, 2015)

We've had a lot of issues about this at my university in the past, and recently they started running a campaign to spread awareness about it. While I think its a really awesome idea, I think the school is only trying to make themselves look good to cover up past instances where they didnt take care of sexual harassment properly or at all. It also doesnt help that a large majority of the students here dont think this topic is a valid issue, and tend to joke about it A LOT. The campaign the school is running is in partnership with IT'S ON US if anyone is interested in taking a look: http://itsonus.org/index.html


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## Electric (Apr 18, 2015)

Yes I have.

I'll write it down when I'm in the mood, though.


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## Nay (Apr 18, 2015)

Oh, I haven't.

I am extremely avoidant and run at any danger, so perhaps that's why.

It's really hard for me to associate that so many people get casually harassed like this, perhaps because I haven't experienced it myself. Whatever the case, it's shocking..


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## mdchan (Apr 18, 2015)

I'm thankfully in the "haven't" crowd.

Then again, I dress like a boy, am pretty ugly, and am fairly underdeveloped, so...

No, wait, there was one time, but it wasn't sexual harassment, I don't think.  Just some guy who attempted to hit on me one time when I went to the skatepark (as you can usually count the amount of girls who actually skate on one hand).
I didn't fully comprehend the situation or understand what he was talking about or referring to or wanted of me, and I think my blank, boggled look was enough to deter him because he walked away when I didn't respond.  I was still unsettled enough to call it a day at the skatepark and go home, but that's really the closest I've been to any sort of harassment.

Plus, I sort of got used to the bug-eyed looks I'd get at TCG tournaments and skateparks when the guys there realized there was a girl amongst them.


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## Dae Min (Apr 18, 2015)

Not sure if this counts, but.. When I was walking down the really crowded hallway in highschool, some guy licked my arm. x_X It was subtle but I definitely felt it happen. Ugh


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## kayleee (Apr 19, 2015)

mysonicplush said:


> Not sure if this counts, but.. When I was walking down the really crowded hallway in highschool, some guy licked my arm. x_X It was subtle but I definitely felt it happen. Ugh



Ugh, that is just a whole new level of creepy.


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## shinkuzame (Apr 19, 2015)

Because I have a very...generous chest size and have since middle school, it's been the topic of many a man's scrutiny. In high school I'd teased, stared at, and some had even tried to grope me on different occasions. It's still somewhat a problem even today in my adult life...I still suffer from catcalls and offhanded comments about my breast size from gross guys I don't even know when walking alone. Maybe it's part of the reason I don't like going out as much as I used to, a person gets tired of dealing with stuff like that.


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## Elise (Apr 19, 2015)

I've definitely experienced a lot of harassment a night clubs. More than once I've had guys try and physically force me to go somewhere with them after rejecting them but thankfully I've always had friends there to step in. 

I've also had guys say really creepy things to me. Some of them I knew and others I didn't. Some examples are: "how many drinks would I have to buy you for you to cheat on your boyfriend?" and "are you a virgin?"

Also, there was this guy I saw often at uni because he knew a few of my friends but I never actually said a single word to him. Usually, I'd just stand there awkwardly while they chatted for a few minutes after class and he would always stare at my chest while talking to other people and barely looked away. While it's not as invasive as being touched against my will or having things said to me, it always stood out as one of the creepiest instances because of the context (during the day, at uni, no alcohol).


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## kayleee (Apr 20, 2015)

Bump, still relevant


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## Shimmer (Apr 20, 2015)

I've had people yell things at me while they're driving by or walking by. ("I love you" -whistle-) I hate it. I pretend I didn't hear them them, even though I can hear every single word they've said. I wear headphones in my ears so I can pretend I didn't hear them. 

I've prepared to speak in different languages if I encounter people like that and can't get away.


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## Luxanna (Apr 20, 2015)

I've was blessed by the Gods for my chest size, My mom and sister do too, Ever since I was young I always felt stared out so It causes me to dress like a "Grandma" even to this day I dress like a "Grandma" Big shirts usually and never a lowcut revealing shirt what so ever, I have terrible social anxiety and the last thing I want is people staring at me., I end up wearing big shirts and leggings or something.
I had a friend who was bi curious, a girl ( because all girls are bi these days apparently, atleast in my school they were lol) she would always grope/ try to grope me and It was really annoying, one time she stuck her hand under my shirt and grabbed my boob. It was really shocking I panicked and fell over and rolled down a hill -fun times- I used to get catcalled in school when I was younger, boys would tease me along with some girls but as I got older I felt the jealously of the girls and the staring of the guys. - shivers- People are scary.


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## M O L K O (Apr 20, 2015)

Sadly alot in highschool


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## samsquared (Apr 20, 2015)

Very often, but I don't think older men have taken nearly as much advantage of me as boys my age/younger...
In fact, the occurrences are so frequent that I can't single out particular instances except the _extra special_ ones that I don't want to talk about ever, so


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## LaBelleFleur (Apr 20, 2015)

I walk home along a highway, and I've been honked at, shouted at, whistled at. I've had people make inappropriate comments about my body, my clothes, whether I have a boyfriend, etc. etc. etc. Nothing past verbal, though.

I just read through this entire thread, and reading everyone's stories just makes me so mad that you all had to go through such horrible and traumatic experiences. I just want to reach out and give you all hugs.

It makes me deeply sad and sick to my core that this is considered "normal", and that I consider myself lucky I've never been a victim of sexual abuse. Harassment, abuse, assault - it just shouldn't exist, period. 

Edit: Just wanted to add something else that also makes me deeply sad and sick to my core - the legitimate fear of sexual harassment/abuse/assault. I, like many other woman (and men), am scared to walk alone, especially at night, or in a secluded area. I get uncomfortable when I see a group of men loitering where I have to walk, even in broad daylight, or in a public area. I get scared when someone catcalls me, or tries to start an unwanted conversation with me in a place where I can't or it's considered _wrong_ to escape (i.e. the train, the grocery store lineup, at a workplace [just for the record, though, I've never been harassed at work]). I even get uncomfortable when someone follows me too closely for too long, even if they don't show any intent to harass or harm me and they just happen to be heading the same way as me.

The fact sexual harassment/abuse/assault is so incredibly common (as shown by everyone's stories here) that I experience fear doing routine tasks every single day of my life, even though I've _never_ had to deal with anything past verbal harassment like many of you have, is extremely telling. I can't even imagine what some of you must go through on a daily basis.


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## piichinu (Apr 21, 2015)

No, but it's probably because everyone in my "area" knows my dad and they kinda have to respect him and his family
anyway once i leave the comfort of my home (im 15) i know i gotta watch out because currently the worst that's happened is people staring at my ass, which yes its ****ing creepy. and its worse than it sounds.

+ ive been going to private schools/catholic schools my whole life so i think that's another reason. and now im in an all girls high school so yeah. im pretty fortunate

im 95 pounds and 5'5.5 so i really have no defense mechanism, except that i know like all the self defense techniques out there and a bit of martial arts. still thats not gonna get me very far so i figure i'll just carry pepper spray with me and try not to go out alone.

im sorry all of this **** happened to people, i cant stand sexual predators 

i do relate a tiny bit though, my mom had 3 stalkers in a foreign country (not USA) and god they wouldnt go away and the police wouldnt do anything about it. so basically one of the stalkers eventually left her alone, second one was shunned by everyone in the town/village, and third one got an ass whooping by her brothers.


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## samsquared (Apr 21, 2015)

Oh, I did want to add that one of the very best evasion tactics is to just ignore the offender.
Walk faster, don't look at the ground, look sorta pissed all the time; if someone fast approaches you, turn a corner, go into a store, talk to someone else nearby. Walk with a friend or pretend to talk on the phone whenever you're walking outdoors. In the avoiding game, it is best never to make eye contact unless you absolutely have to. You always have somewhere to be, someone to talk to, and no time for games. 
Feigned confidence and a no-nonsense attitude have carried me since the eighth grade. For the most part. Try it out a little. 
You won't become a total b****, don't worry, lol. It's all about having all the right b**** in all the right places.


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## wolfxinx (Apr 21, 2015)

3rd grade, being slapped and ass-grabbed by a male student. This was elementary school.

Middle school, I developed pretty early. My breasts were groped occasionally by male students because they were just "playing around", and a female as well. Same middle school, a male student felt the need to snap the back of my bra. SAME middle school, another male student reached his hand down my pants after I rejected sexual interaction with him. SAME MIDDLE SCHOOL, two boys often commented on my body figure, "Your body is perfect and you have huge boobs", in attempts to get me to "date" them. SAME FREAKING MIDDLE SCHOOL, a boy that I was dating constantly forced himself on me in the hallways and whatnot during class change - grabbing my mouth and trying to get me to kiss him. While he did this, a girl asked "why won't you just kiss him"? Same boyfriend continuously tried to get me to have sex with him, using the excuses of "I have needs", "if you loved me...", "you don't want to die a virgin and neither do I", and "a 12 year old girl I know has done everything".

High school, someone spread a rumor that my previous boyfriend raped me. Same high school, a boy who previously commented on my figure in middle school somehow got my phone number. Proceeded to call me and explained that my previous boyfriend told him we "did things". He asked me if the curtains matched the drapes because "he said they didn't".

Age seventeen, reading something online when my mother reads something along the lines that middle-aged bikers like women and big breasts and proceeded to tell me that "they would sure like you".

I am an asexual woman. Always have been, from a very young age. I am a virgin and have no desire for sexual interactions. I have dated one person in my life, and I am 18. My mother is expecting grandchildren from me.


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## Piggles (Apr 22, 2015)

I was at work when I got sexually harassed. I work in a library and I was shelving some books and a guy walked behind me and groped my ass. It was awful, it might not seem a lot to some people but I felt disgusted. It was an awful experience.


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## Quill (Apr 22, 2015)

The most recent time was when I was grocery shopping. _Grocery shopping_. With my kids. Some middle aged guy with his son (great example to set for your child, dude) eyed me up and down and made like a dog sound in his throat. It was skeevy and disgusting and the fact that there were 3 kids around to see it pissed me off even more. Like, man. I'm trying to get some milk for my kids, I am neither inviting nor appreciating your animalistic inability to cope being in the presence of a woman half your age.


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## Lauren (Apr 22, 2015)

I've had my butt and chest grabbed on various occasions. The car honking thing isn't as often anymore as im not 16 in a school uniform anymore. I just get it when I'm out on a night out and it's just drunk guys or at work, men/women looking at my chest and butt, if it's a hot day I will wear a tank top, my eyes are up here. Very frustrating.


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## Piggles (Apr 22, 2015)

Quill said:


> The most recent time was when I was grocery shopping. _Grocery shopping_. With my kids. Some middle aged guy with his son (great example to set for your child, dude) eyed me up and down and made like a dog sound in his throat. It was skeevy and disgusting and the fact that there were 3 kids around to see it pissed me off even more. Like, man. I'm trying to get some milk for my kids, I am neither inviting nor appreciating your animalistic inability to cope being in the presence of a woman half your age.



Oh my goodness this is absolutely VILE. Sorry you had to go through that hun x


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## kayleee (Apr 22, 2015)

Honestly reading these experiences makes me sick to my stomach. And what is even more infuriating is in all of these instances we were minding our own damn business, and have had our personal space invaded by these harassers; and our solution is to come up with ways to look like we are FURTHER minding our own business. And the harassers will never see this/never change their ways, it's the harassed that think they need to change something to avoid being a target. Like, seriously? How ****ed up is that? It's honestly disgusting. I really feel strongly about this problem, and the fact that SO MANY PEOPLE on a freakin animal crossing forum of all places have experienced some sort of sexual harassment is enough proof that it's a very serious issue. I just wish I knew what the hell I could do about it.


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## Quill (Apr 22, 2015)

Piggles said:


> Oh my goodness this is absolutely VILE. Sorry you had to go through that hun x


 Thank you! I actually ended up using it as a 'teachable moment' (i hate that term) to talk to my kids about how what he did was not okay, even though they're too young to understand the sexual overtones I just let them know that it isn't appropriate to comment on a stranger's appearance like that. So I guess something not-terrible came out of it, but still.


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## Bixxy (Apr 22, 2015)

Reading all this makes me so angered wow


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## Bowie (Apr 22, 2015)

It's just so horrible that things like this go on in the world. Nobody should have to go through something like that.


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## badcrumbs (Apr 22, 2015)

If anyone needs someone to talk to about these things, I'm always here. Monday was one year since I was raped and I'm finally feeling like I can be a shoulder for others. We can do it together <3


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## oswaldies (Apr 22, 2015)

People are just stupid and will do whatever their minds tell them to do
Even if it's wrong.


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