So you're not afraid?
Pfft, nah.
Well I am. Especially after, well, you know...
What? What do I know?
You don't remember? It was all over the news.
Tell me, tell me!
No, no, no, I probably shouldn't. It would ruin the night shift for you.
What happened, what happened, what happened?!
You mean you've never heard the story of the "Hash-Slinging Slasher?"
The Slash-Bringing Hasher?
The Hash-Slinging Slasher.
The Sash-Ringing, the Trash-Singing, Mash-Flinging, The Flash-Springing, Ringing, The Cr-Crash-Dinging, daa.
Yes. The Hash-Slinging Slasher. But, most people just call him The Ha---because that's all they have time to say, before he gets them!
Tell me the story!
Years ago at this very restaurant, the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a fry cook, just like you, only clumsier. And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties... it happened.
He forgot the secret sauce?
No.
He didn't wash his hands?
No.
Irregular portions?
No! He cut off his own hand by mistake.
You mean like this? Or like this? Or this? Or this? But what about this? Or this, or this, or this, or-
Except he wasn't a sponge!
So?
So it didn't grow back!
Oh, no!
And he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula. And then, he got hit by a bus!
And...at his funeral, they fired him! So now, every...what day is it?
Tuesday.
Tuesday night, his ghost returns to the Krusty Krab to wreak his horrible vengeance.
But tonight's Tuesday night!
Then he'll be coming.
How will we know?
There are three signs that signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher. First, the lights will flicker on and off. Next...
Dude, can I have some ketchup?
Oh, here you go. Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there. And finally, the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus, that ran him over! Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways, because he's already dead! Then he taps on the window with his grizzly spatula hand...
No.
He opens the door... He slowly approaches the counter! ...And you know what he does next?
What?
You really want to know?
What?
Are you sure you want to know?
HE GETS YA!