Eligible 10 days on Exile Island

[Rio_]

These were words I had heard many times before. Hundreds of times. These words use to fill me with excitement and hope- hope that after scouring through and rejecting countless maps, that the perfect-on-paper island I’d found would be just as perfect in person.

But it never was.

On the day I had finally reached the embarrassing milestone of having rejected over a thousand islands, something new happened. As I made the all too familiar walk up to reception, Timmy was on the phone.

"Yes yes... She's here. I'll put her on." He held out the phone towards me. "Mr. Nook would like to talk to you. ...talk to you."

I grabbed the phone, confused. "Hello?'

"Ah yes. Rio. A pleasure to finally speak with you. I've heard so much about you," Nook said coldly.

"You have...?" I laughed nervously.

"Yes... You are quite famous around this company. Famous for costing us millions of bells in unnecessary expenses: overtime for our receptionists, paper and ink from printing all those maps out for you, all those round trips on DODO airlines... Very wasteful-"

"Uh-"

" -And I think it's about time you pay back those expenses, hm? So we will be sending you an itemized bill. Let's see... from our preliminary estimates, the total cost will be around 32490234 bells!"

"WHAT?! But- But- I can't afford that! Do you think I'm a bellionaire?!!? You can't just charge me that without warning!!!"

"Oho, but you did have warning- it's all in the contract you signed when enrolling in our Island Getaway Package TM Did you not read it?"

"…It was very long."

"Well, I'm sure our lawyer Lyle would be happy to go through it with you. Though... if you truly are unable to pay, I'm sure we can work out an alternative arrangement…”

That day it was decided I would board yet another flight. But this flight, this adventure, would be different...

The presentation that greeted me started off familiar, but instead of relaxing images of beautiful island life, it was a bleak corporate training video- a first taste of my new life as a Nook Inc. employee.

As we flew over the island I spotted cherries growing on the trees below. Delicious cherries… Why couldn't you have shown up on all those otherwise seemingly perfect islands I visited that were plagued by apples and pears???

As I stepped out of the airport, I looked at its siding… Blue. At least they didn't add insult to injury by sending me somewhere with the yellow airport I was so desperately seeking. I was surprised to see two others waiting outside. I wondered if they were customers… or other chumps who had run afoul of Nook.

‘Where’s the plaza?’ I thought to myself. Unlike all my other voyages, Timmy and Tommy refused to show me the map beforehand. Probably out of spite.

As soon as I left the dock, I came across a horrifying sight.

'No. Oh no. No no no no no no no-'

What stood before me was the most evil placement of a town plaza I had ever seen. BAM! Right in your face as soon as you arrive! No breathing room. And worst of all, brazenly off-center!

‘Nook, you son of a-’

Nook welcomed us in a chipper tone, but the crooked smile on his face sent chills down my spine.

He introduced my new "neighbours", Phoebe and Antonio, who had arrived on an earlier flight. From the nervous looks on their faces, it seemed like they were also here unwillingly... I wonder what landed them in trouble?

At the very least, Nook was "kind" enough to provide us with tents. Though I worried how warm and sturdy they'd be in this cold, windy February. I picked a spot by the sea in the hopes that the sounds of the waves would help calm my anxiety.

My first official task at Nook Inc. was to gather sticks for a bonfire. I had asked why we couldn't just skip the bonfire and go to sleep, which didn't sit well with Nook. He told me I now had to collect cherries as well.

As night fell, the Bonfire was finally ready to go. Nook walked up and lit the fire, the flames emitting an eerie glow that encapsulated the tanuki family. Nook stared at the flames for what seemed like forever, not saying a single word.

I finally broke the silence.

“Isn't this the part where we name the island?" I inquired.

"Oho," chuckled Nook, "That won't be necessary. This island already has a name."

Nook turned around, a giant grin plastered on his face.

"This is the island of Exile!"

 

[Rio_]

Day 2

​

Although Nook had so generously (as he emphasized) given us the next day off to settle in, all employees were required to participate in mandatory morning aerobics. I thought if I pretended to be asleep all day I would be able to skip it, but instead a second mandatory “evening” aerobics was added. Phoebe and Antonio were not pleased that they were being punished for my laziness, and decided to hole up in their tents and ignore me.

Feeling lonely, I decided to make my own frosty friend!

​

I then left what I thought was anonymous feedback on the bulletin board, not realizing it was able to magically stamp the writer’s name on it.

My day off came to an abrupt end as a “no-I’m-not-angry” Nook instructed me to gather resources and craft tools for everyone.

I was then ordered to go capture a bunch of bugs and fish. Apparently, Nook has big plans involving getting his buddy to start a museum here. I wondered how anyone could sustain such an attraction on an island as desolate as this, but I’ve never ran a business- what do I know?

There was a surprising amount of fish to be found (though I don’t know how the river didn’t freeze over in temperatures this low). Insects were another story- the only I came across were moths fluttering in the light of Resident Services.

‘This Museum is gonna have a pretty pathetic bug exhibit,’ I thought, ‘But maybe it’s for the best considering that gossip about the curator I heard from Timmy and Tommy…’

 

[Rio_]

Day 3​

The next morning's aerobics seemed to break something in me. Half way through, no matter how many times my brain told my arms and legs to move, they just refused to respond, only kicking back into gear in the last minute of the session. I was thankful that Nook wasn't observing today, and instead the more understanding Nooklings were in charge. Still, I couldn't help feeling deeply embarrassed.

Tommy, thinking my problem was a lack of energy, advised me on the benefits of eating more fruit. Though surely he must be exaggerating...

Energy or not, I had work to do. Nook wanted me to start pulling weeds, both to make the island less of an eyesore, and also so he could ship them off to one of his other business ventures (what could he possibly be using them for?).

He told me I only needed to collect a bundle of 99, but once I started... I couldn't stop plucking. Weed after weed... I just couldn't stop until the entire area was clear!

A new tent had popped up overnight, housing a makeshift research facility. Nook's much talked about friend Blathers introduced himself.

'How did such a kind owl become friends with that ruthless businessman?' I pondered.

It seems that rumours about him were true, as he was very aghast when I donated my first insect. But nevertheless, he graciously accepted the creature in the name of science.

Blathers taught me how to make a vaulting pole. It looked fun to use and I was excited to explore new areas I couldn't reach before. But that excitement turned to dread when I saw MORE WEEDS! I took all my willpower to stick to my original mission: helping Blathers look for fossils.

The fossils were much more abundant than I was expecting, which kind of started to freak me out.

'Just how many bones are hiding underground? Am I stepping on skeletons every time I take a step?!'

To calm down, I went for a relaxing stroll down the beach, but was mortified to find what I thought was a corpse washed up to shore! But as I drew closer, I could hear the seagull mumbling, which granted me instant relief. I guided him to a safer place to rest, but along the way he kept trying to drink from the empty bottle that had washed up beside him and refused to let me recycle it.

I thought my snowfriend might be a bit lonely considering he's stuck in one place away from everyone else. So I built him a companion! This second snowboy had a bit of an attitude though...

Nook seems to have a positive outlook on how the island is progressing and its prospects as the next big real estate market, but I still can't imagine anyone moving here voluntarily- let alone paying for the privilege to do so...

 

[Rio_]

Day 4​

"ATTENTION EVERYONE. WE WILL BE HOLDING AN EMERGENCY STAFF MEETING. ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY."

Antonio, Phoebe, and I gathered inside the Resident Services tent, nervously waiting to hear what I we had done wrong. But instead of a scolding, we were rewarded with a housing upgrade!

...At least we thought it was a reward, until Nook explained that market research showed potential clients were turned off by our living conditions.

"We need to assure our future residents that Exile provides only the most stunning, top of the line houses! They don't want to hear promises, they need concrete examples! And you, my dear employees, will be part of that example."

"Of course, this venture is quite the expensive one. And bells don't grow on trees, no? While Nook Inc. will generously cover 70% of the cost, we will require each of you to pay the rest... But worry not, the fee can be added to your existing bill at only a 50% interest rate per month!"

The money may not be an issue after all, as apparently this island houses buried treasure! Maybe it's not a trash heap after all!

I was worried Nook might ask where my newfound riches came from if he saw me lugging it back from the woods. No way was I going to let him in on the island's secret! So I reburied it with the intentions of coming back when everyone was sleeping. But when I did, it turned into a sapling! How is that even possible??? What a rip off...

I decided to take out my frustrations by chopping some wood, but ended up knocking down a beehive! I tried to run to Resident Services to take cover, but alas, I was too slow.

Antonio was quite rude when he saw my injuries...

...but Phoebe generously gifted me some medicine!

Blathers has now received enough donations (guess who the only donor was...) to start construction on his museum. I still don't know why a wasteland like this needs a museum, but at least he's happy.

 

[Rio_]

When I woke up this morning, I was startled to find that my tent had already been upgraded to a cute little house overnight! I don't know how it's even possible for them to construct all that around me while I'm sleeping, and honestly, I'm too afraid to ask...

But all three of us were super excited to be out of those flimsy tents!

Nook has started delegating important projects to Timmy (who must be his favourite nephew as Tommy has been stuck wandering aimlessly out in the cold the last 5 days). Timmy, at the very least, words things much nicer when he's bossing us around.

I have a feeling that Nook may have pulled some strings to get the review to fall in his favour...

I came way more prepared for today's wood chopping session.

Rio: 1 - Bees: 1

After gathering all the necessary resources, the shop was ready for construction. Timmy asked me to pick out a spot for the shop, which I thought was weird and probably a bad idea.

Now that I think about it, Blathers asked me to do the same for the Museum... And they built our houses in the same random spots where we plopped down our tents... Did Nook not budget for a town planner???

Uhhh... Antonio? You're a little late, dude. I guess it's the thought that counts.

I discovered that treasure has not only been buried underground, but has also somehow been stuffed into rocks! I wasn't going to make the same mistake as last time though- no way am I ever burying money again! I had to dial my stealth up to 100 in order to sneak the bells back to my house.

 

[Rio_]

Day 6
​

With the completion of the shop and museum, we were all invited to the (mandatory) opening ceremonies.

Nook somehow managed to convince some people to move to the island after an aggressive marketing campaign. But the ads set up a bit too high of an expectation about what kind of homes were currently available, and he had to scramble to draw up new housing plans.

Of course, by "scramble", I mean "call his employees in for an emergency shift on their day off". At least we were getting some kind of bonus.

We worked tirelessly all day. Eventually we ran out of materials and I was sent to steal borrow some from a neighbouring island. If I happened to run into anyone, I was also expected to do an impromptu sales pitch for our Deserted Island Getaway Package™

Unfortunately, I did run into someone. But despite my terrible salesmanship, they seemed interested.

I was excited to finally get my super amazing work bonus I’d been promised...

...but it turned out to be a subtle hint that he wanted me to do more work.

 

[Rio_]

Note: Sorry this is short; I haven't been feeling well lately. I tried my best to still write enough

Day 7​

Today I came across two strangers wandering around the island. I hate to say it, but they both seemed on the shady side... I’m not sure if they’re in cahoots or if it’s just coincidence that they showed up at the same time, but either way, I’m not sure if I should trust them.

The dog, named Harv(ey), claimed to live on a neighbouring island where he runs a photo studio. He said his real dream was to one day run a “collective”, and that Phoebe, Antonio, and I could get in on the ground floor for the low, low price of 99,999 bells. He practically begged us to come visit, as well as hand out his fliers to future residents.

The fox, named Redd, seemed even shiftier. He has his own boat, docked far away from Nook’s prying eyes, filled with what he claims to be priceless masterpieces. Upon seeing the art on display, I was instantly taken aback.

“Aren’t these... you know... already hanging in museums across the world?” I questioned.

“That’s the thing, cousin,” he replied, “The ones in the museums? All fake. Couldn’t get a hold of the real deal so they forged them. Mine? The genuine article. And one of these beauties can be yours for only 4980 bells- that's a 10000% family discount!”

That all sounded extremely untrue, but I’ve never been one to pass up a deal...

 

[Rio_]

Day 8​

Gala was out and about after spending all of yesterday unpacking. I think she meant to say that she was freeze-drying her laundry.

I was sent to welcome our newest neighbour, Clay. He seems to follow the same organizational methods as I do.

This happy fellow had set up shop outside of Resident Services. Nook told me to remove him from the premises, as he didn't have a sales permit, but let it slide when he realised Leif was Timmy's friend.

Leif was offering to buy weeds at very high price, which sent me spiraling back into obsessive weeding. At least the island is clear and my wallet is fed!

I started a little pumpkin patch with the seeds he was selling. It's a little out of season though...

I came back later to sell some leftover weeds from my storage. This was completely unintentional, I swear!

 

[Rio_]

Day 9​

While true that the Population is Growing, and many visitors have been stopping by lately, this island still feels rather barren.

Not like home at all...

But the good news is, our headquarters are getting an upgrade, which hopefully means an insulated office! Maybe even a heating system? Nah, that'd be too good to be true.

Nook actually hired trained professionals to take care of all aspects of this project, so he didn't make us fetch resources this time. And because he was so focused on the project, he didn't have any other jobs for us to do and let us have the next 2 days off- WOOOO!

Well, we were assigned one task...

Victoria did not seem to appreciate the welcome wagon.

I was really touched when Gala approached me with a gift- an expresso maker! She's just too sweet. Maybe with residents like her around, I'll end up warming up to this place.

A hedgehog named Mabel was selling apparel outside of Resident Services today; I think I saw her visiting the Nookling's shop before. I was so grateful to finally have access to a long-sleeved shirt

Although I should have been happy to have the day off, I began to grow... restless. I figured I might as well get some wood-chopping done to have supplies ready for when Nook inevitably tells us to gather more.

...It was a terrible idea.

Rio: 1 - Bees: 2

Antonio had a different reaction to my injuries this time- he actually helped me out instead of mocking me!

Poor Phoebe had spent too much of her day off working out, causing a dangerous situation. I had to gently wake her up before she dropped her dumbbell on her feet!

That night, Clay surprised me with a gift too- a handmade gong! These islanders have really surprised me with how kind they've been towards us staff

Do you know who's not kind? The Snowboys. And their on-going campaign to crush my self-esteem.

 

[Rio_]

Day 10​

Today was a lazy kind of day- I spent most of my second day off just sleeping. But I was suddenly jolted awake, and an overwhelming sense of urgency started to envelop me.

I had no idea where this anxiety had come from, but it felt as if there was someone writing about my life, and they desperately needed me to do something- anything so they could write the final chapter of their aimless story.

I went for a walk through the forest to contemplate what I should do. Everything was so quiet, so tranquil... But a bizarre sound interrupted the silence, drawing my attention to the sky.

Twinkling lights began to trail across the sky and I watched in amazement, entranced by the beauty.

'Oh, right! I'm supposed to make a wish!'

I clasped my hands together and closed my eyes. I racked my brain, trying to figure out what it was that I most desired.

'Aha! Yes. I wish for...'

The world around me began to spin and my sight started to dim.

"WHAT'S H-" I tried to cry out, but my voice faded away.

Everything turned black.

When I open my eyes, I flabbergasted. I was somehow... back at the travel agency?! Did the Nooklings find me passed out? Did they rescue me? But why would they drag me all the way here of all places???

"Timmy- Tommy- What's going on?!"

They stared at me blankly.

"Are you not here to sign up for one of our packages? ...packages?"

"What are you talking about? I work here!"

"Really?" Tommy replied, confusion spreading across his and Timmy's faces

"I don't remember seeing you before," added Timmy, "Are you with the West Coast Branch? Have you been transferred? Mr. Nook didn't mention anything..."

'They really don't remember...? Wait. Does that mean-' It suddenly dawned on me. 'My wish! My wish came true!'

"Uhhh... I wish just joking! Haha..." I tried to collect myself, but the prospect of getting another shot at finding my dream island began to fill me with giddyness. "I'm here for the Getaway Package!"

"one thousand and first," I muttered.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you clearly. Did you say first?" asked Timmy.

I paused for a second, wondering if I should lie. 'It's not as if they'd believe me even if I told them the truth...' I reasoned to myself.

"First," I answered firmly, "This is my first time applying!"

THE END​

---

Note:

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my weird island journal!

Bonus:

R E V E N G E
​