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After deleting Traverse for good I decided to start over fresh again. I got my other island Twilight to transfer all of my items and back to this island so that way I would start. This project was started back in May 22nd, 2021 after I deleted Traverse. I called this island "Destiny" named after Destiny Islands from Kingdom Hearts 1. I decided that I didn't want to make a replica of that island from that game, I just wanted to make an island that fits my personality and is something that I created from my imagination. This is the island may layout I choose when I first started on it:
Day 1:
I learned that you can put custom design paths down to start marking where buildings and stuff was going to go and I finished made the Nook Shop. My villagers were Jitters and Pashmina. I mean I wasn't a fan of them, but they were okay I guess. So here's the process on that day: You maybe wondering who that other person is in the black coat with the green heart. That is Roxas, who was helping me transfer all of the items that I had on my old island Traverse before I deleted it.
Day 4
My home was built and I put it on the beach just so I can design the layouts for where I want my home and other buildings to go. Gulliver was just sitting there on the beach near my home. Makes me wonder if he tried to come inside my home but then passed out.
Day 5:
Resident Services was built and the past days 2 more villagers moved in. They were Aurora and Winnie. At least they were somewhat better and from this moment I was ready to start doing more work on the island.
Day 6
The Campsite was recently built, which I actually remembered that I had to craft it in order to make that. I wonder if Tom Nook would've just given me more materials to make more buildings. That would surely be so helpful than having to waste so many bells.
Day 7:
The First Zen Bridge was built. By then I was starting to get more better at planning where things are supposed to go and making sure that it was in areas that made more sense.
Day 8:
The Able Shop was built. I really enjoy this feeling of always having a new shop built on the island. It makes me hope in the future that when other NPCs soon come to the island they will have a chance of setting their shop on the island, but one can only hope for so much.
Day 9:
The 2nd Zen Bridge was built and I invited a 6th villager to move in and it was by the name Jacques. He was a smug villager that was the first villager to show up at the Campsite. He's not really that interesting, but I invited him just so the community was developed.
Day 10:
The first Blue Steel Incline was built and it was almost close to when the island was starting to get a lot more stand out. I still had more work to do, to convince KK to come because apparently Isabelle loves it when there is a lot of flowers on islands. Also I found Shep on a Nook Mile Island. He was another smug villager which did annoy me because I already had one, but just to continue the process I invited him anyways.
Day 11:
I somehow took this picture when it was about to close out for good. Either way the 3rd Zen Bridge was built and the 8th villager to be invited was Freya and she was also found on the Nook Mile Island. I used to have her on my Town way back in the day so it was a really good feeling to have when I found her.
Day 12:
Finally after all the hard work KK Slider shows up. Its funny how this whole thing came to be. Just having everyone by the plaza, listening to KK sing his song and it was at this moment that I was ready to start terraforming. Its such a good feeling of accomplishment.
This was the island map layout after I invited KK slider. It was in a mess so there was work to be done.
And this is the final design after terraforming for 4 weeks:
I must say I am so proud of myself for making this island. I didn't care what others think of it and I don't care if its the best or worst island of all time. I am just glad that I made it out to how I wanted it to be. It will be here to stay and there are no plans on getting rid of it anytime soon. Its so much better than Traverse and this was what I wanted it to look like from the very beginning. So either way that was my Journey on building Destiny. I am glad to have learned so much from last year and now I can finally chill and relax to enjoy my time.
I love my island so much that I worked hard on it. I never once restarted and I feel so much better after not having to worry about restarting now that I have a 2nd island to rely on.
I sometimes feel that whenever I discuses my problems with someone else they think I'm going crazy. People will never understand me so well. Whenever I get very annoyed and upset about something they don't take it seriously. Time and time I always heard people say "We don't want to hear about your problems, just leave us alone" If it was bad that I was led to believe that nobody would understand what I was going through. I know I tell myself that I am not the only one, but I just feel so lost in my thoughts that it feels like everyone is against me.
This is the reason why I avoid talking to people, the reason why I avoid them when they are having their happy time, they don't want to hear someone like me complain about my problems to them, because they will complain to me that I am "spoiling their fun". Suffering in the inside is something throughout my life I had to deal with. People treat me as if I am suppose to not behave in a way that they think is "accurate" to them and they think I'm crazy.
I have to ask this question "Am I joke to everyone?" I just feel like I am someone who just make things to be a big deal but then I realized that I let my own anger and sadness consume me. It gets me in a sour mood and makes me avoid talking to others just so I would not make them feel uncomfortable. I know people often ask me things like "Whats wrong" then the moment I describe the incident I just get a "whatever you're just full of yourself" response. I really cannot express my problems so well and I just feel stuck.....
Sometimes whenever I restart my 2nd island I always think to myself "Am I just doing just to get different variants or is it I am just forcing myself to have more fun with the game?" in some ways it has helped me get back in the game, but over time it will start to wear down on me. I guess maybe because I've done so much in this game that its becoming so much harder to enjoy it. I just need to tell myself "Okay you done enough with this game, just go do something else its not that hard" which is easier said than done.
I feel stuck whenever someone asks me about whats wrong then the moment I say they say things like "Oh you're still sad about that, move on from it its in the past" I know that I should forget about bad memories that happened to me but its hard for me as an autistic to even forget about it, because it creeps back into your mind. It affected how I see people and it affected how I view the world. Growing up I was always the "Silent one" people always gave me weird looks thinking I was boring. Then when I was encouraged to make friends it felt forced, because I had no clue of what to say to anyone and they would get tired of me repeating the same topics.
This is one of the reasons I avoid talking to people, but because I was pressured into making friends doing my school days it really damaged my mental health. I already had friends who stopped talking to me and they treated me so badly. I don't know what I did to deserve this and I am not sure why but its something I have a hard time wrapping my mind around to this day. I want to tell myself that there is good people in the world and I should just leave out these negative people, but because I have trust issues its so hard to open up to anyone who has the time or patience to even what I'm going through.
Its also bad for me because whenever I don't have anyone else to talk to my emotions become bottled up in my mind forcing me to be happy all the time, act like everything is fine, and whenever I see people enjoying their time I don't want to ruin their day by talking about my issues the moment they ask me "Whats wrong?". Its something I have to suffer with everyday and I have days where I ask myself "Am I bad person?" or "Why is it that I'm the one getting all this hate?". I grew up in such a bad toxic environment as a kid that made me had a spoiled mindest and made me think that I was the one who was making everything a big deal and how I should just "suck it up" whenever I'm going through a bad time. I don't even know what to think anymore.
Well today was my birthday and I got a surprise from my favorite villager Bunnie, who made me go to her home Roscoe and Wendy were there. To tell me Happy Birthday. To be honest I remember this from last year back before I had different villagers. Of course the present they gave me turned out to be "Birthday shades" and of course birthday cupcakes. I mean I am keeping them, because it will remind me of this special day:
