I'm having a lot of anxiety tonight; I'm shaking and I want my boyfriend and he's not here and my brain is goinggoinggoinggoing. It's toomuchtoofast. I don't want to think about my past anymore and my mistakes and how broke I am. I gained 8lbs and I miss my eating disorder and hurting myself at night and I miss being in control and I can't stop crying. I wish I could disappear. Why is this happening? I don't want to go to the doctor and I don't want to talk to a therapist. I don't want to talk to a stranger; I don't want to be on more medicine that makes me sick. I don't want to stop feeling because now normal feelings are too much and scary and overwhelming and I don't even know when things are okay or not.
Talking to a therapist may seems scary, but they are only there to help you. There are some situations where medicine can help you, but if you don't feel comfortable with it or if it makes you feel bad, it's the wrong kind for you. You can also ask about alternative treatments, but you have to be open to new things. You can't just shut yourself down, it won't help anything. I speak from experience. In any case, stay strong. Some nights, days, weeks, months, etc. can be rough, but you have to believe there's a light at the end of this dark tunnel.
