Any adult Christians here? I need advice.

GoldenKaraSus

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I am a Christian. I will admit, I am not a very good example of one. I know God, I know Jesus died for my sins, I know the Holy Spirit resides in me, but I’m just not in good fellowship with any of them right now.

The cause of this is my misery. I have heard that happiness is a choice but I’m not so sure. Im just so unhappy and I don’t know what to do. I can’t pray because I know he won’t answer me. I’m ready to just call it all quits. I don’t want to be here anymore. I hate my life. I just want to be in heaven now.
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Please don’t make fun of me if you don’t believe. I’ve been trying it the “non Christian” and that’s not working either.
 
I'm not a Christian, but I think that you should seek therapy. Happiness isn't always a choice -- I don't know why people insist that it is. There are faith-based therapists if you're specifically looking for that. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. In all honesty, I don't think any of us on here are justified in saying anything besides the fact that you should look into getting therapy. I'm not sure what the "non-Christian" way is.
 
Never give up faith. I'm a Christian as well, and I've been in a similar situation. My advice to you is to just never give up hope, and keep praying. It may not feel like God is answering, but I assure you he is. Fully embrace your Christian self, I would never try to hide it to make yourself feel "better". Always have faith. You may be under attack and I feel the best way for you to overcome it is to never stop praying. Venting to God is a great thing. Covid19 has caused a lot of people to feel misery, and have little faith in God or anything else. I pray that you can feel connected with Him again and feel better about yourself. Please PM me if you need somebody to talk to :)
 
I’ve been feeling this way for years. I don’t know how to get help. It’s getting to a point where I don’t care anymore.
thank you all for responding. For once I have tears of gratitude.
 
I'm a Christian as well! It would be good to put faith in God and pray for help with anything you're dealing with <3 And remember that there is always hope for brighter days ahead. It could also be good to talk to friends/family about it, or also professional help could be beneficial as well ^^ Hope everything works out well for you!
 
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Also an adult Christian here, but as a Lutheran, I don't believe as much in "choice" or "decision theology" as a lot of other American Protestants do (Lutherans are monergists). I will agree with you, however, that fellowship is probably the hardest part of being a Christian in general. I've never really had a "church home," so to speak, and my struggles are very different from the stereotypes of most other Christian women. So while I may agree with a lot of conservative Lutheran theology, making friendships has been another matter.

If it helps any, it's been helpful for me to view loving neighbor as an act of prayer and action rather than the relationship rhetoric that's popular among many American Protestants. If you look at the early church, they too had a lot of doctrinal disputes and relational problems, so these things aren't really new. They can be tests for our faith, to be sure, but shouldn't shake it. After all, what is our alternative? I've been down the agnostic road before, and it didn't lead anywhere better.

TL;DR, don't view subjective happiness as the root of our faith. Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes, but Jesus said we would have to take up our cross. Since happiness isn't the primary virtue of Christianity, it shouldn't be our primary goal. If Jesus wasn't happy all the time, and His teachings don't make that the primary focus, why should we as Christians? Our primary focus should be on what Jesus taught us: repent and turn from our sins, take up our cross, endure sufferings, love our neighbor, and love God with our whole heart.
 
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People say Happiness is a Choice because you always have the choice for therapy or really anything that could better your mental state. More fresh air, better sleeping schedule, more water etc. Getting the basics down could help you a lot.

But happiness is not a state of being. You're happy when something good happens. What you're looking for is contentment. No outer problems, inner peace with yourself and a goal to thrive towards. As a Christian you'd also want to be good to your neighor and help your community.
 
I am an adult Christian. At some point in life, every Christian's faith will be tested. We will hit a rough patch in life and question why it's happening to us. You may feel like God has turned his back on you, but that's not true. Things WILL get better. It may take time, but they will. Don't give up on prayer. Praying from your heart is what matters the most. I have felt the same way as you many times. There's no place I'd like to be more now than Heaven, but I'm still here so I still have something I need to do in life. I will say prayers for you as well. God bless you!
 
I'm an adult Christian. I've definitely heard before that happiness is a choice and if we live in the moment and are grateful for what God has given us, we'll be happy, but I think it's much more complicated than that. Things happen in our lives and even within our brains that are beyond our control. I would definitely recommend seeking professional help if you feel like you don't want to be here. You aren't being a bad Christian by not being happy or by seeking help. Faith and therapy can work together - by talking with a professional, hopefully with time you can become a better, healthier version of yourself and then you can reconnect with God and your purpose. You can't put your best foot forward and care for others unless you take care of yourself first. I hope things start looking up for you soon, and they will - remember that God has a master plan, even if you can't see the bigger picture right now! <3
 
Thank you all for your replies. This is kind of hard for me since I am a pastor’s daughter. Sometimes when my dad preaches I think he interjects his personal opinion in to his sermons as fact. In his sermon this past Sunday he said:

“You can always tell when a Christian is living without faith in God because the always have this cloud over them.”

My parents don’t really understand things like depression. I don’t think they believe in it either. Depression is an illness, right? It’s like cancer. Just because you believe in God doesn’t mean he’s going to take your cancer away. It doesn’t mean you don’t have faith in him either.
 
Oh, sorry to hear that. Not sure what church your father leads, but as someone who has studied different denominations over the years, I've learned that some are more prone to see depression -- regardless of context, causes, etc. -- as a spiritual weakness, and regrettably emphasize personal opinion, experience, and happiness at the expense of soundly exegeted doctrine. This would include a number of Pentecostal, some Nondenominational, and some Arminian Baptist churches.

Reformed/Calvinistic and Lutheran churches wouldn't necessarily view depression in such a way, but would encourage the members to look to the objectivity of Christ and the cross, search the Scriptures, and pray. They also definitely don't emphasize effusive emotional states to the extent of Pentecostals, Nondenominationals, and Arminian Baptists, who too often view loud happiness or ecstatic personal experiences as some sort of sign of the Holy Spirit. Calvinists look to intellectual knowledge of Scripture and personal morality (the third use of the Law) as fruits of the spirit, while we Lutherans point to Scripture as well, but emphasize the gospel more than the third use of the Law (too much navel-gazing and pietistic legalism has led a number of Calvinists to despair), and we also look to baptism and communion as sacraments.

I realize I'm emphasizing doctrinal differences a lot here, but few Americans understand the extent to which Christians are divided, even among the different conservative Protestant groups, and how this influences how we view various matters in life. I say this as someone who unknowingly grew up in a strange bubble without a lot of exposure to actual church -- my parents had a weird mish-mash of ideas about God, hell, the End Times, etc. that they took here and there from obscure books or Trinity Broadcasting, or else made up entirely themselves, and I've since learned they had a number of beliefs that are considered outright heresies in a number of circles. That's another reason I've had such a hard time finding a church home. But you, as the daughter of a pastor, I think your lot is even harder than mine, as children of pastors have to deal with much higher expectations, socially and spiritually. It wouldn't surprise me if that's increased your burden and depression. :/ My parents may have been odd and heterodox, and that makes me an outsider who's had a hard time getting doctrine straight and finding people who can relate to what I went through, but at least my family didn't have high positions in the church with a lot of pressure and expectation.
 
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