Anyone else here who is on the spectrum?

[Shawna]

I have been debating whether or not to make a thread like this. This is something I never liked talking about, as people who are on the spectrum and/or have special needs are known to get picked on and even bullied. I never even taked about this to my neurotypical friends when I was in school, because I was afraid that they were not going to understand, or worse, turn their back on me.

But you know what, guys? I am sick of keeping this to myself. I am sick of feeling like I cannot trust people. I want to open up and find people who understand me/that I can understand. I want to create a safe haven for people who are like me. People who are going through similar challenges.

I have Neurofibromatosis type 1 (NF1). Fortunately, in my case, it's not like what you read online or see in the pictures. Most of my symptoms are associated with that of Asperger's. And yes, one of my symptoms is social isolation/impaired social skills, which probably contributes to my fair of confiding in people about my condition.

I am 21, and am still a little bit behind on life, if you will. I never went to college, as the town I grew up in was in the middle of nowhere, and the closest community college was like 45 minutes away, and is probably not even for me right now. Later in the year, I shoud be getting into some problems for people who are on the spectrum.

Here are/where some of my symtoms:
I have some learning issues.

I didn't walk until I was 3, and didn't talk until I was 4.

I feel misunderstood a lot of the times, even by family members.

Sometimes dealing with people makes me very anxious and nervous. This applies to both online and in person.

When something unfavorable happens, I tend to keep it in my head for a while.

I can be very sensitive and I cry easily. Like sometimes when I am frustrated, or when my feelings get hurt.

I am sensitive to getting yelled at/snapped at/people getting mad at me.

I worry about some of the smallest things.

I get very nervous very easily.

I am senstive to loud noises, but I don't mind blasting my earbuds with music I love.

I tend to analyze the smallest situations, which means I can be an overthinker.

I have an incredible memory.

Most people who do not have the same condition or are going through the same challenges would just say "You need to stop worrying so much!!", "You need to let things roll off your back!!", You need to get over it!". But for us, it's just not that easy. We have our weaknesses and that's just that.

I don't know. I am getting sick of keeping this to myself. I want to find people who are going through some similar things as me. People who share my weaknesses and tendencies. People who I can relate to and, in return, relate to me. Even if you are not on the spectrum, you are more than welcome to post in this thread as long as it is postive/support.

I really hope I can make a difference with this thread.

 

[Psydye]

I certainly relate to some of those so I think I get where you're coming from! It can be a challenge. Dealing w/ certain "friends" has never been easy for me!

 

[Shawna]

I certainly relate to some of those so I think I get where you're coming from! It can be a challenge. Dealing w/ certain "friends" has never been easy for me!

Thanks :,)

It definitely feels a lot safer, if you will, To be friends with people who are going through the same/similar stuff as you. They are the ones that won’t turn your back on you, and they are the ones who understand what you’re going through.

 

[Midoriya]

Yeah, I was born with Aspergers (mild Autism). I don’t really care though. It doesn’t make me different from anyone else. I’ve taken speech classes my whole life for it, and I’ve become 50% introverted/50% extroverted and developed a sense of humor in high school. I’m also only a couple months away from graduating university, despite having it and the statistic that 50% or more of people with it don’t make it through university.

Sure, it can make things difficult sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s good to embrace each other’s differences, but at the same time, I don’t dwell on it or think about it anymore, because in the end it doesn’t make us different from anyone else and I don’t think most people who have it want to be viewed differently from those who don’t have it.

Anyway, my personal opinion on it aside, I’m sorry that you have to deal with this and I hope that you can get to a point where you don’t have to worry about it anymore as well.

 

[Shawna]

Yeah, I was born with Aspergers (mild Autism). I don’t really care though. It doesn’t make me different from anyone else. I’ve taken speech classes my whole life for it, and I’ve become 50% introverted/50% extroverted and developed a sense of humor in high school. I’m also only a couple months away from graduating university, despite having it and the statistic that 50% or more of people with it don’t make it through university.

Sure, it can make things difficult sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s good to embrace each other’s differences, but at the same time, I don’t dwell on it or think about it anymore, because in the end it doesn’t make us different from anyone else and I don’t think most people who have it want to be viewed differently from those who don’t have it.

Anyway, my personal opinion on it aside, I’m sorry that you have to deal with this and I hope that you can get to a point where you don’t have to worry about it anymore as well.

You don’t have to be sorry :,)

Like you said, it can be nice having these characteristics, as it makes us feel unique. I was actually quite popular in the school district I grew up in, because I was (and still am) funny and peppy for the most part. ^^

 

[SheepMareep]

I'm really happy you felt comfortable and confident enough to share this and your personal experiences with being on the spectrum!

I have never been diagnosed with autism, but I do have ptsd/anxiety/depression and experience a lot of the same symptoms that make me wonder if I am in some way. Especially since if I get upset or overstimulated by loud sounds I will become nonverbal and feel like my mouth is glued shut/that I am physically incapable of talking for a while.

Anyway, I hope you are able to make more friends in the forum who are also on the spectrum c: It's nice to have a community of people you can relate to and talk about stuff no one else really understands or be able to have proper discussions about issues facing people on the spectrum.

 

[Shawna]

I'm really happy you felt comfortable and confident enough to share this and your personal experiences with being on the spectrum!

I have never been diagnosed with autism, but I do have ptsd/anxiety/depression and experience a lot of the same symptoms that make me wonder if I am in some way. Especially since if I get upset or overstimulated by loud sounds I will become nonverbal and feel like my mouth is glued shut/that I am physically incapable of talking for a while.

Anyway, I hope you are able to make more friends in the forum who are also on the spectrum c: It's nice to have a community of people you can relate to and talk about stuff no one else really understands or be able to have proper discussions about issues facing people on the spectrum.

Amen! ♥♥♥

 

[Mayor Monday]

First, I want to commend you on this post. You sound- and I don't doubt for a second- that you're far more intelligent than you're given credit for. It must be difficult to be in a situation where you feel alone or misunderstood.

Second, though I do not have too many of the same issues, I have experienced anxiety throughout my early teenage years until now. I understand that being told to 'get over it' or, 'you're not special- stop trying to find something wrong with yourself', hurts big time. But please understand that you can conquer these battles. The lust for the outcome can and will outweigh the struggle!

Lastly, I applaud you for being strong when your body and mind insist on causing you grief. I've heard of this disease researching what my mother has. She lives with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). This auto-immune disorder means that her own body attacks her every single day- like she's a sickness her body is trying to fight. She has to take injections or keep her body from doing any further damage, but it doesn't stop her from having tremors, immense spinal pain, headaches, fatigue, numbness, mind fog, and many other problems. It doesn't help that I discovered she's been struggling with depression. It's scary to see someone you love have to go through with this.

So though I cannot and do not intend to say that I 100% 'know' your feelings, I will say that I've experienced it in the lives of those around me, and I've come to learn what it entails. Please know that you're not alone!

 

[Buttonsy]

Yep! I'm on the Autism spectrum as well.

It's a little hard to list out my symptoms because I believe I may have mental health issues besides Autism and so it's hard to say what is what, but:

1. Ability to focus and transition between tasks fluctuates a lot from day to day AKA on-and-off executive dysfunction (example: some days I might cook my own breakfast from scratch, other days I may not eat for extremely long stretches of time or might only eat no-cook foods like potato chips if I can't comprehend the task of cooking or doing dishes)

2. Hand-flapping that I do basically without being conscious of it

3. Still live at home with Mom because I'm currently not in a position to work and not fully able to care for myself

4. Don't really approach people to talk and only tend to speak when spoken to with the vast majority of people, social situations tend to make me feel really nervous or even physically ill

5. Am semi-verbal (I speak too much to be properly non-verbal but it's extremely mentally taxing to talk and I occasionally can't)

6. Extreme hypersensitivity to most sensory input except for hyposensitivity to smell and kinesthetic sense (have to wear the kind of noise-blocking headphones that a lot of construction workers wear most of the time because my sense of hearing is particularly sensitive)

 

[Variety.Gamer 4438]

Yep! I'm on the Autism spectrum as well.

It's a little hard to list out my symptoms because I believe I may have mental health issues besides Autism and so it's hard to say what is what, but:

1. Ability to focus and transition between tasks fluctuates a lot from day to day AKA on-and-off executive dysfunction (example: some days I might cook my own breakfast from scratch, other days I may not eat for extremely long stretches of time or might only eat no-cook foods like potato chips if I can't comprehend the task of cooking or doing dishes)

2. Hand-flapping that I do basically without being conscious of it

3. Still live at home with Mom because I'm currently not in a position to work and not fully able to care for myself

4. Don't really approach people to talk and only tend to speak when spoken to with the vast majority of people, social situations tend to make me feel really nervous or even physically ill

5. Am semi-verbal (I speak too much to be properly non-verbal but it's extremely mentally taxing to talk and I occasionally can't)

6. Extreme hypersensitivity to most sensory input except for hyposensitivity to smell and kinesthetic sense (have to wear the kind of noise-blocking headphones that a lot of construction workers wear most of the time because my sense of hearing is particularly sensitive)

Most of these sound pretty much like me except for the last one, though #2 I can control for the most part and really only do it at home and only really when I feel strong emotions.

 

[michealsmells]

Its nice to hear about others- though I hate to hear that others have to struggle too.

I was diagnosed just last year with ADHD, which is like a cousin to Autism. At times I wouldn't even be surprised if I was Autistic or had Asperger's as well, though that's not something I would ever self-diagnose just out of respect for others and not fully knowing about them both.
I grew up being both the smartest kid in class, but also the annoying one. I acted different than everyone else, but also got straight A's. It wasn't until Middle School when suddenly I couldn't handle it anymore and all my grades started to fall, mainly because we didn't have recess or anything anymore, and my teachers bullied the **** outta me for drawing in class and stuff.

I'm jittery
I chew things like pencils/ds styluses
I constantly need to be using my hands in some way, holding something or playing with something
My attention span is short yet I can remember details that weren't important
I'm amazing at trivia, lmao
I've always been extremely sensitive, and I still am, I just can't really cry anymore due to trauma

I also have anxiety and depression that both were probably caused by how people treated me because of my ADHD. I mean, I was diagnosed at 16. That would've been really, really helpful sooner, but whenever anyone would bring anything up, it would be pushed away by my family because the school saw it as a label, not to actually help me.

I heard that if you're a girl, you're far more likely to go un-diagnosed for even longer than boys. And that you're more likely to be treated poorly for "boyish" and "hyperactive" behavior that you can't control. Guess who was afab- this guyyyyy--

But yeah- I'm really really proud of you opening up about this. I know its not easy, its not easy at all.

 

[Alienfish]

Yeah, I've Asperger... got the diagnosis quite late though, somewhat high functioning but some other mental issues as well that might or might not have to do with that alone. And yes it's definitely a "disorder" for me, not some dumb "superpower" unless a superpower is organizing stuff and having a detail-focused brain lol :/ Ugh I wish people would stop saying mental disorders are that, like unless you are a celebrity with contacts that learns you handle stuff really well it's not. I mean, with Asperger you can't just take Ritalin or whatever and then the day is kept in place or stuff, you basically gotta live with that you seem like 10 years younger than everyone else and has "childish" issues like you need exact directions, exact instruction etc.

 

[neoratz]

i am on the spectrum too! i was diagnosed with aspergers years ago but idk what it's called now cuz i heard they changed it. idk if i could ever list all my symptoms cuz i feel like it really affects so much of me and i honestly do not think i would be the same person if i wasn't autistic i definitely share a lot of traits with a lot of you guys posting though!

this might sound weird but despite all the hindrances it brings i am kinda glad i have it. because of it i tend to get really passionately into my favorite things to the point where they are kinda like a part of me in a way and they make me happy! i also feel like i get along easily with other autistic ppl and i feel kinda like a magnet for autistic ppl irl cuz it always seems like if there's someone else in the room with autism (talking about like. meetups or events or stuff like that specifically) that we are bound to talk to each other at some point. that is literally part of how i found out im autistic.... it's kinda like you can just tell that the other person has it from the Vibes they give off i guess in a good way!

there's definitely other benefits but they're kinda slipping my brain rn for some reason o3o i am glad to see other people here who have it though!!!! autism feels so widely misunderstood. spread da good word

EDIT: WANTED TO ADD IM SRRY IF IT SOUNDS LIKE I WAS DOWNPLAYING EVERYONES PROBLEMS...... that was definitely not my intention just wanted to talk about it more lighthearted. ive been reading thru everyones struggles and i think you are all really strong 4 persevering thru this kinda stuff..... we will own our negative symptoms collectively

 

[duckykate]

I have autism and it makes it really hard to socialize haha. I have a lot of trouble with choosing the right thing to say and knowing if what i said was appropriate, and thinking ahead to how my words will effect the other person.

 

[Shawna]

i am on the spectrum too! i was diagnosed with aspergers years ago but idk what it's called now cuz i heard they changed it. idk if i could ever list all my symptoms cuz i feel like it really affects so much of me and i honestly do not think i would be the same person if i wasn't autistic i definitely share a lot of traits with a lot of you guys posting though!

this might sound weird but despite all the hindrances it brings i am kinda glad i have it. because of it i tend to get really passionately into my favorite things to the point where they are kinda like a part of me in a way and they make me happy! i also feel like i get along easily with other autistic ppl and i feel kinda like a magnet for autistic ppl irl cuz it always seems like if there's someone else in the room with autism (talking about like. meetups or events or stuff like that specifically) that we are bound to talk to each other at some point. that is literally part of how i found out im autistic.... it's kinda like you can just tell that the other person has it from the Vibes they give off i guess in a good way!

there's definitely other benefits but they're kinda slipping my brain rn for some reason o3o i am glad to see other people here who have it though!!!! autism feels so widely misunderstood. spread da good word

EDIT: WANTED TO ADD IM SRRY IF IT SOUNDS LIKE I WAS DOWNPLAYING EVERYONES PROBLEMS...... that was definitely not my intention just wanted to talk about it more lighthearted. ive been reading thru everyones struggles and i think you are all really strong 4 persevering thru this kinda stuff..... we will own our negative symptoms collectively

Aww, you don't have to feel bad.

I can totally get where you are coming from. While my NF comes with its struggles, there are also some things I like about being on the spectrum. Like you said, it causes some of us to be really passionate and engrossed our fandoms, which I love. I love having things that I am passionate about. It gives life a meaning, in a way, :,)