BPD

[Watchingthetreetops]

I have a question. For those of you who have anxiety, or depression, or any sort of mental disorder, how did you feel when you discovered that you had these?

I think I have bpd. For those of you who have known me on these forums, you know that when I get upset, I'll often come here. There's a very relaxed, and thoughtful atmosphere here that makes me feel safe and at home. I've had a colorful variety of different emotional happenings, (anxiety AND deprssion, suicidal thoughts, as well as an eating disorder), and I never really understood why. My biological mother was and is prone to these things, but it didn't help that when I was two she decided to leave my family in one evening. One day she was there, the next she was gone. I am no doctor, but I've been reading so much about it, and it feels...freeing. I've always been prone to extreme emotions, and I try to keep all of that in check, but it doesn't always work. The more I research about this disorder, the more I start to think that this is what's wrong with me. And it's...well, it's actually really relieving. Something is wrong with me. That is true. But now that I might have identified what that is, I can start to work on myself, and move forward.

Does anyone on here have bpd? Or any mental illness? How do you deal with it? How did you feel when you found out? I'm legitimately curious, because this is very new territory for me. And don't worry, I will see a doctor/therapist soon. I can post some links about bpd, too, for those of you who don't know what it is.

 

[sock]

I'm just about recovering from a LOT of anxiety. It was mainly college/school related...and in other words is school phobia. It caused me to go into a depressive state for a period of months over this summer, which I still feel the effects of sometimes.

I mostly felt alone, and scared. I felt like I'd never be happy/anxiety free again. It's a really, really scary feeling and one I hope I never feel again. I wish you all the best and I hope this helps a tiny bit for you to realise you are not alone in any way! If you ever need anyone to talk to, drop me a PM ^^ *hugs*

 

[hamster]

i'm dealing with a few mental problems & i take medication for it + i go see a therapist. that's it i guess.you might not feel comfortable enough to tell your family. if you do though you should tell them your concerns & hopefully they'll understand, unless you're old enough to make your own decisions. then you'll probably be able to discuss it with a doctor or something. the only thing i'm concerned about is misdiagnosis. it's happened to a family member of mine & they almost misdiagnosed me before. but for the meantime take care & i hope it goes alright

 

[ams]

Do you mean Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder?

 

[Cheren]

I have BPD, but I've never been "professionally diagnosed" or anything of the sort. I don't take any medication either, but I can usually manage my symptoms. It affects people differently, and being able to have an understanding of your situation is a very good thing! When I started looking more into BPD over a year ago, it felt like I was finally understanding my behavior and why I feel the way I do. It was definitely freeing lol.

Do you mean Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar Disorder is BD, Borderline Personality Disorder is BPD.

 

[Rizies]

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety just over a year ago. Before I went to the doctor, I knew I wasn't feeling right. I knew that hyperventilating and bawling my eyes out was not right. I wasn't sleeping, and I knew I needed help. So for about a month, I kept track of how I was feeling, and whenever I had a bad day.

After a month of majority bad days, I went with my mom to take me to a walk in clinic. My family doctor takes too long to get into, so I had to go through the walk-in before I could see her. I also started going to therapy.

My first medication was horrible. I was on it for two weeks, and my anxiety increased so horrible. I also had some suicidal thinking. After a really bad day at work, I was sobbing and panicking, my mom told me to call in sick, we will go see the doctors, and take a relaxing day. He then prescribed me another medication, took me off of the stuff I was originally given, and told me to take the week off.

I started getting better. I had more energy, much better days, but I still wasn't good. At this point I got in to see my doctor, had to increase those meds and she gave me something to help sleep and with anxiety. After a few months that medication stopped working and she gave me something else. I've been on that for a year now, and I have been good.

I also went to a group therapy for anxiety. It was interesting, but didn't help me very much. I also switched jobs, which helped my anxiety. I see my doctor again in my February and I am hoping to get off my medication. Two of my best decisions was finding the right medication and leaving my employment. There were drastic improvements. There was a sense of relief when I was diagnosed, but I tend to have really good self-awareness and I knew something wasn't right.

In addition to some therapy and medication I also try to exercise regularly, eat well and sleep.

 

[Xerolin]

Well I never really "discovered" I had depression, just slowly through misery and the like, I realized, "Oh hey, I have depression." I've never been officially diagnosed, bc ~reasons~
As for ASD, I was kinda like, "Wow, I thought it was ADHD." I was talking to my mom and she brought that up somewhere in the convo and as she was further explaining it I understood more. My little brother has Autism, and the whole side of the family all have a similar mental state; High IQ, similar personalities, and so on.
I never was denying or not accepting my mental issues, I've been "fine" with it you could say
ignore my sig

 

[baileyanne94]

I suffer from bipolar depression as well as a lot of anxiety problems and I have issues with self-harm when things get really bad. Pretty sure these things are genetic with me...it adds to me not wanting kids if there's a chance they'd go through this crap.
It's honestly pretty scary; I had my first suicidal thought when I was 17 and gradually got worse, then after I graduated high school it got really bad and my parents seemed to enjoy doing things that caused me to suffer from these issues, and they absolutely did not have my back when I tried going to them for help or if they heard me crying; it's a huge reason I don't see or speak to them or really anyone in my biological family anymore. It's such a horrible thing to have to go through alone. I'm still pretty alone with it, most of the time. I know this is a cliche thing to say, but no one really understands unless they've been there. There is such a horrible stigma attached to these very real diseases and it makes it hard for people to get help. I can't talk to people about my issues for the most part because A) it's very likely they won't believe me, and B) I feel like whoever I'm talking to will think I'm just making it up to get attention. I don't always believe myself, sometimes, it's kinda sad.

I struggle a lot with these issues and have been in some dark places and felt incredibly 'messed up' and distraught because of it; I've just learned to cope with it better over time but that's probably not the best thing. Professional help can be tricky since therapists and medications can be hit-or-miss (and whether or not you should use prescription drugs for your brain at all is a gray area to most people); I have little confidence and value in myself as a person. I hope in time I can heal, and would not wish this on others. I want to say that anyone struggling should seek help, but it's not always that easy. The suicide hotlines haven't even been that helpful to me in my experience. You can maybe seek a support group in your area, like through the DBSA for example.
I really, really just hope that anyone struggling can, at the very least, have someone who will listen to them and love them unconditionally. That's the best you can hope for some times.

Sorry to seem bleak; I'm not unhappy all the time or anything!
If anyone has any questions or would like to talk, I'm not an expert but I'd like to be there for anyone going through these issues if I can.

 

[ams]

I have BPD, but I've never been "professionally diagnosed" or anything of the sort. I don't take any medication either, but I can usually manage my symptoms. It affects people differently, and being able to have an understanding of your situation is a very good thing! When I started looking more into BPD over a year ago, it felt like I was finally understanding my behavior and why I feel the way I do. It was definitely freeing lol.



Bipolar Disorder is BD, Borderline Personality Disorder is BPD.

I don't think you can diagnose yourself with a personality disorder just by nature of what a personality disorder is. If anyone really thinks they're borderline please see a professional.

In my clinical experience patients who genuinely have borderline aren't even told about their diagnosis until they're well into treatment because they're that unstable. Having detrimental personality traits isn't the same thing as having an actual personality disorder.

 

[pawpatrolbab]

I've got BPD, I found out when I was diagnosed since I personally don't believe you can diagnose yourself with a disorder, especially one like BPD.

I'd say talk to your doctor, psychiatrist or therapist!

 

[Cheren]

I don't think you can diagnose yourself with a personality disorder just by nature of what a personality disorder is. If anyone really thinks they're borderline please see a professional.

In my clinical experience patients who genuinely have borderline aren't even told about their diagnosis until they're well into treatment because they're that unstable. Having detrimental personality traits isn't the same thing as having an actual personality disorder.

I don't have the money to see a professional, but I appreciate the concern and the perfect understanding you seem to have of my situation.

 

[piichinu]

ive been depressed since 7th grade and at this point i genuinely have no reason to be depressed its just stuck with me or something. i didnt even react when it was confirmed by various professionals because its like obvious when you have depression imo and idk how DO u react to that anyway?? i dont know if i even deal with it..i was going to take meds once and i did for like 2 seconds but then i was like nah. but i also dont see therapists or whatever anymore. i already know what sort of things make me tick and i just avoid those. like i have a chronic health condition (its so strange how the two are related probably no one could guess lol) that contributes to a chemical imbalance in my brain..so i make sure to take care of that and not let it get too bad. if things make me stressed i make sure to guarantee my success in those things. also ive been accepted into all the colleges ive applied to so far and that reduces my stress sooo much, which means my depression is less likely to "flare up." therapists have never helped me at all, not even one bit (ive had more than 3 different ones). im kinda just waiting for this 2 go away i guess

 

[Redlatios]

I was diagnosed with type 2 depression when I was 12. I didn't really think much of it until i was 19 or so (I'm 21 now). I've been meaning to get professional help but currently I can't really pay for it. My mother really freaked out back then, whenever i went to the bathroom she would think i was going to commit suicide or something

 

[Frostbite2002]

WELP I've been diagnosed (yes by a professional, I didn't diagnose myself because you literally can't do that? Like if you think you have mental issues go see a professional?) with Depression and Anxiety so that's... Interesting. Tbh I didn't think I had them, I just thought I was an overreacting and unmotivated person. I would never have gone to a professional if it hadn't been for a different mental diagnosis (eating disorder, I DO NOT want to discuss it) so I guess that's probably what brought it about. Honestly being depressed seems like a "trend" nowadays, especially for people who self-diagnose themselves. Honestly, you don't want to have a mental disorder, and you aren't cool or trendy or unique for having one. They ruin lives. If anyone thinks they are currently suffering with one, for a start don't just say you have one, people will probably not take you as seriously, and please go and get help from a qualified medical professional. As for how I deal with it? I don't know. I just try to distract myself a lot. I have pills for it obviously but I can't abide taking them.

 

[Watchingthetreetops]

Well, I am over 18, for those of you who didn't know. I appreciate the positivity and concern. These forums are always full of thoughtful people and I appreciate that.

My research into this is beyond simply googling and reading things in MD. I've been doing a lot of reading on this particular disorder. I've had many issues, and mainly believed that there was just something wrong with me. BPD is a physical thing, but there are a few correlations to traumatic childhoods. My mother also had the same thing, but at extreme levels. My sister was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but I believe it is a false diagnosis. She has anxiety as well as many issues my mom had, too. She wanted aderhol, and feigned as much as she could so she could get it. My reasoning is not...internet based, I guess is my point.

There are a broad spectrum of symptoms, and it's hard to diagnose anyone with BPD, because they often suffer from depression AND/OR anxiety as well, so some therapists think that one or both of those are the issue, not something different. I have been diagnosed with both of these, and I have also faced suicidal tendencies as well as different eating disorders through out my life. I am prone to intense bursts of emotions. There are other factors that go into this. I have started seeing a therapist who diagnosed me with bpd.

I don't like taking pills unless my life is threatened, and we've discussed different methods of dealing with different things. If I have a kidney infection I will probably take antibiotics. I have had a lot of mental issues, and found my own way of dealing with them, without medication. I found a positive way of thinking that aids me, and if anyone here ever needs a friend or needs some kind of help, I am always here for you. I'm happy that I know what is...wrong with me. And it is a disorder, which is why I use that verbiage. Now that I know there is an issue, I can build up from that. I am confident in moving forward. I've just been relieved to finally know what is going on with me. I don't have all the answers, but I'm relieved to know why I am the way I am.


One last thing: it is sort of a 'trend' to say you have this disorder, or that. It's also easy to diagnose yourself. It is extremely important to talk to professionals. I was right in my situation, but I also did a lot of reading at my library and other research before I decided to see a professional about this. If any of you are concerned, you're not alone, and seeing a therapist is one of the best things you can do for yourself.