Brooke_the_Phoenix
she/her, time-zone AEDT
Hey all! I'm planning on starting a YouTube channel for music reviews once I graduate high school at the end of the year, but for now I thought I'd start talking about music in this blog space here. Why? Because music is an amazing, beautiful art form that deserves to be talked about more. I hope you enjoy. 
WARNING: If you are offended by people criticising songs you like, please do not read my blog posts, as I will always be honest with my opinions about songs. Music is subjective, and we all have different opinions on it, so please don't get angry at me for simply expressing my opinions.
5. Don't Let Me Down by the Chainsmokers feat. Daya. ...Wait, what? The Chainsmokers? Those guys who made that awful anti-song '#SELFIE'? What are they doing back on the charts? ...When did they become good? This song was decent when I first heard it, but it's become better with repeated listens. I really like the liveliness that the song has, and Daya sounds pretty good. My only complaint is that the drops after the first and second choruses are kind of weak, but the final chorus makes up for it with an epic finish.
4. Ex's and Oh's by Elle King. This song was okay when I first heard it late last year, but now I love it. King's charisma is really what makes the song for me, plus the fact that she has a strong voice and sounds like she's enjoying herself (Selena Gomez, take notes). Also, it's nice to hear a fuzz guitar solo in an era of EDM and trap beats.
3. Roses by The Chainsmokers feat. ROZES. ...Wait, they're on this list again? Damn, they must have been high when they made '#SELFIE', that has to explain why they've suddenly started making good music. If you'd told me a year ago that The Chainsmokers would not only be back with a second hit, but a great hit, I would not have believed you. Yet, here we are. Somehow, The Chainsmokers escaped the void of One-hit Wonders and created a genuinely fantastic song, with great vocals by ROZES, vocal loops that actually aren't annoying as hell and help build up to a pretty nice drop, and just some killer production overall. Nice work, guys. You have no business being back on the charts after '#SELFIE', yet here I am praising you instead of rolling my eyes at your return. You get the Most Improved Award for 2016!
2. Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande. I've been obsessed with this song since I heard it. This is exactly the kind of song Grande is good at performing. 'Bang Bang' was embarrassing, but when you slow down the tempo a bit and limit Grande's Aguilera-ing, her vocals actually tend to be much better, because her words aren't slurred to the point where you can barely understand what she's saying, and she's also not over-doing it with the belting. Despite her high pitch range, restraint looks good on her. Also, I did not expect a guitar solo in an Ariana Grande song, and I have quite a soft spot for guitar solos.
1. Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots. This song probably wouldn't even make my top five favourite songs from the 'Blurryface' album, but it's still pretty damn great. A big part of the reason I like it so much is that I feel like I can relate to what the song's about. Tyler is singing about the pressures of having to make a living as a musician and how he misses the freedom of childhood. I don't have a job, but I can relate what he's saying to how I feel about school, and I also understand how he wishes for a "better voice to sing some better words", as that's something I wish for on a daily basis. Whenever I hate school more than usual, this is the song I turn to.
5. Work from Home by Fifth Harmony feat. Ty Dolla $ign. I've heard many people say that Fifth Harmony are actually really talented, and their hit 'Worth It' was just one of their few bad songs. I even heard someone say that the producers of 'Worth It' "produced the talent out of them". Whether that's true or not, they certainly haven't proved it with their next hit. They just sound so bored when they sing this song. When you're trying to entice a guy to stop going to work so you guys can just canoodle all night, every night, you might want to sound excited. Also, this line that Ty Dolla $ign says: "Oh, she the bae, I'm her boo." F*** that lyric, and f*** the person who made the word 'bae' a thing.
4. Team by Iggy Azalea. I've never hated Iggy Azalea like a lot of people have, but I'll never consider myself a fan of her as long as she continues to use that awful, phony accent. Somehow the falseness of her accent actually seems to be even more obvious in this song than any of her previous hits, and the hook sounds like it belongs in a different song. The transition from the verses to the chorus just isn't smooth and there's no build-up, the chorus just kind of starts. Those chants of "hell naw" in the first verse are so obnoxious and the beat is stilted as hell. When it comes to songs called 'Team', I'll stick with Lorde.
3. No by Meghan Trainor. I have never liked Meghan Trainor's rap-singing (I don't really think I can call what she's doing rapping, but it's more like speaking than singing). I just don't think she's good at it. I don't really like 'Like I'm Gonna Lose You', but I actually think her voice sounds really nice in that song. If she sings songs like that, with some more interesting melodies, instrumentation and lyrics, she could actually put out a song I like. She is not good at these kinds of songs. It actually reminds me a lot of 'Problem' by Ariana Grande (the sort of song Ariana Grande also isn't very good at singing). And, just like 'Dear Future Husband', this song is so obnoxious I just can't stand it. This song isn't quite as bad as 'Dear Future Husband' because it's not sending out a terrible message, but it does have that same air of superiority that 'Dear Future Husband' had, and... ugh, I have a headache just thinking about that song now.
2. Hands to Myself by Selena Gomez, or as I like to call it: 'Good For You 2: Can't Keep My Pitiful Attempts at Being Sexy to Myself'. Selena Gomez's voice is just so, so weak, and she doesn't even seem to enjoy singing. 'Good for You' already proved that she is not good at sexy, cooing vocals, and while this isn't quite as bad as 'Good for You' (at least the vocal melody for the pre-chorus has a little bit of life in it), it's not much of a step up. Apart from the pre-chorus, it is basically just as dull and lifeless as 'Good for You', and I really didn't want another 'Good for You.'
1. Stitches by Shawn Mendes. This was actually my least favourite hit song of 2015. It's now April of 2016, why. Is. This. Song. Still. Here? I remember when I first heard 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' I was surprised that Mendes actually sounded decent in that song, because in 'Stitches' his vocals are awful. He sounds like a chipmunk with a head cold, and I just really don't like squeaky male vocals. In the pre-choruses it sounds like he's actually struggling and his voice seems to be straining, and it doesn't help that the instrumentation is pretty bland and does nothing to draw attention away from his bad vocals. The guitar chord progression just sounds like the chord progression for every other slow-tempo white guy with acoustic guitar song, and the lyrics, OH MY GOD THE LYRICS. They break my cliche-o-meter in the first verse ("Your words cut deeper than a knife/Now I need someone to breathe me back to life"), and are just clumsily written overall. "No one's ever left me quite this sore"? Was 'sore' really the word you wanted to use? Did you only use it because it was distantly related to pain and it rhymed with 'before'? This song just annoys the crap out of me, I never want to hear it again. There is no reason for it to still be on the charts.
Thanks for reading! Let me know if there's anything I can do to improve my writing and critiques.
WARNING: If you are offended by people criticising songs you like, please do not read my blog posts, as I will always be honest with my opinions about songs. Music is subjective, and we all have different opinions on it, so please don't get angry at me for simply expressing my opinions.
---
My Top 5 Favourite Songs Currently in the ARIA Singles Chart- 4 April, 2016
My Top 5 Favourite Songs Currently in the ARIA Singles Chart- 4 April, 2016
5. Don't Let Me Down by the Chainsmokers feat. Daya. ...Wait, what? The Chainsmokers? Those guys who made that awful anti-song '#SELFIE'? What are they doing back on the charts? ...When did they become good? This song was decent when I first heard it, but it's become better with repeated listens. I really like the liveliness that the song has, and Daya sounds pretty good. My only complaint is that the drops after the first and second choruses are kind of weak, but the final chorus makes up for it with an epic finish.
4. Ex's and Oh's by Elle King. This song was okay when I first heard it late last year, but now I love it. King's charisma is really what makes the song for me, plus the fact that she has a strong voice and sounds like she's enjoying herself (Selena Gomez, take notes). Also, it's nice to hear a fuzz guitar solo in an era of EDM and trap beats.
3. Roses by The Chainsmokers feat. ROZES. ...Wait, they're on this list again? Damn, they must have been high when they made '#SELFIE', that has to explain why they've suddenly started making good music. If you'd told me a year ago that The Chainsmokers would not only be back with a second hit, but a great hit, I would not have believed you. Yet, here we are. Somehow, The Chainsmokers escaped the void of One-hit Wonders and created a genuinely fantastic song, with great vocals by ROZES, vocal loops that actually aren't annoying as hell and help build up to a pretty nice drop, and just some killer production overall. Nice work, guys. You have no business being back on the charts after '#SELFIE', yet here I am praising you instead of rolling my eyes at your return. You get the Most Improved Award for 2016!
2. Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande. I've been obsessed with this song since I heard it. This is exactly the kind of song Grande is good at performing. 'Bang Bang' was embarrassing, but when you slow down the tempo a bit and limit Grande's Aguilera-ing, her vocals actually tend to be much better, because her words aren't slurred to the point where you can barely understand what she's saying, and she's also not over-doing it with the belting. Despite her high pitch range, restraint looks good on her. Also, I did not expect a guitar solo in an Ariana Grande song, and I have quite a soft spot for guitar solos.
1. Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots. This song probably wouldn't even make my top five favourite songs from the 'Blurryface' album, but it's still pretty damn great. A big part of the reason I like it so much is that I feel like I can relate to what the song's about. Tyler is singing about the pressures of having to make a living as a musician and how he misses the freedom of childhood. I don't have a job, but I can relate what he's saying to how I feel about school, and I also understand how he wishes for a "better voice to sing some better words", as that's something I wish for on a daily basis. Whenever I hate school more than usual, this is the song I turn to.
My Top 5 Least Favourite Songs Currently in the ARIA Singles Chart- 4 April, 2016
5. Work from Home by Fifth Harmony feat. Ty Dolla $ign. I've heard many people say that Fifth Harmony are actually really talented, and their hit 'Worth It' was just one of their few bad songs. I even heard someone say that the producers of 'Worth It' "produced the talent out of them". Whether that's true or not, they certainly haven't proved it with their next hit. They just sound so bored when they sing this song. When you're trying to entice a guy to stop going to work so you guys can just canoodle all night, every night, you might want to sound excited. Also, this line that Ty Dolla $ign says: "Oh, she the bae, I'm her boo." F*** that lyric, and f*** the person who made the word 'bae' a thing.
4. Team by Iggy Azalea. I've never hated Iggy Azalea like a lot of people have, but I'll never consider myself a fan of her as long as she continues to use that awful, phony accent. Somehow the falseness of her accent actually seems to be even more obvious in this song than any of her previous hits, and the hook sounds like it belongs in a different song. The transition from the verses to the chorus just isn't smooth and there's no build-up, the chorus just kind of starts. Those chants of "hell naw" in the first verse are so obnoxious and the beat is stilted as hell. When it comes to songs called 'Team', I'll stick with Lorde.
3. No by Meghan Trainor. I have never liked Meghan Trainor's rap-singing (I don't really think I can call what she's doing rapping, but it's more like speaking than singing). I just don't think she's good at it. I don't really like 'Like I'm Gonna Lose You', but I actually think her voice sounds really nice in that song. If she sings songs like that, with some more interesting melodies, instrumentation and lyrics, she could actually put out a song I like. She is not good at these kinds of songs. It actually reminds me a lot of 'Problem' by Ariana Grande (the sort of song Ariana Grande also isn't very good at singing). And, just like 'Dear Future Husband', this song is so obnoxious I just can't stand it. This song isn't quite as bad as 'Dear Future Husband' because it's not sending out a terrible message, but it does have that same air of superiority that 'Dear Future Husband' had, and... ugh, I have a headache just thinking about that song now.
2. Hands to Myself by Selena Gomez, or as I like to call it: 'Good For You 2: Can't Keep My Pitiful Attempts at Being Sexy to Myself'. Selena Gomez's voice is just so, so weak, and she doesn't even seem to enjoy singing. 'Good for You' already proved that she is not good at sexy, cooing vocals, and while this isn't quite as bad as 'Good for You' (at least the vocal melody for the pre-chorus has a little bit of life in it), it's not much of a step up. Apart from the pre-chorus, it is basically just as dull and lifeless as 'Good for You', and I really didn't want another 'Good for You.'
1. Stitches by Shawn Mendes. This was actually my least favourite hit song of 2015. It's now April of 2016, why. Is. This. Song. Still. Here? I remember when I first heard 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' I was surprised that Mendes actually sounded decent in that song, because in 'Stitches' his vocals are awful. He sounds like a chipmunk with a head cold, and I just really don't like squeaky male vocals. In the pre-choruses it sounds like he's actually struggling and his voice seems to be straining, and it doesn't help that the instrumentation is pretty bland and does nothing to draw attention away from his bad vocals. The guitar chord progression just sounds like the chord progression for every other slow-tempo white guy with acoustic guitar song, and the lyrics, OH MY GOD THE LYRICS. They break my cliche-o-meter in the first verse ("Your words cut deeper than a knife/Now I need someone to breathe me back to life"), and are just clumsily written overall. "No one's ever left me quite this sore"? Was 'sore' really the word you wanted to use? Did you only use it because it was distantly related to pain and it rhymed with 'before'? This song just annoys the crap out of me, I never want to hear it again. There is no reason for it to still be on the charts.
---
Thanks for reading! Let me know if there's anything I can do to improve my writing and critiques.
