VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
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- Thread starter VanitasFan26
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I’m very independent. I don’t think I ever put myself in a position where I need to ask for help. I seek help, but I never directly ask for it. For instance, I watch motivational and positivity videos on YouTube. They help me whenever bad or negative thoughts take over my mind.
I’ve learned not to rely too much on other people. Sometimes you have to be independent and do things on your own, especially if you want them done correctly. I don’t like unsolicited help. Their heart may be in the right place, but it comes off very condescending. I think it’s better for the person to realize they need help and seek it out themselves, rather than giving someone advice they didn’t ask for.
I’ve learned not to rely too much on other people. Sometimes you have to be independent and do things on your own, especially if you want them done correctly. I don’t like unsolicited help. Their heart may be in the right place, but it comes off very condescending. I think it’s better for the person to realize they need help and seek it out themselves, rather than giving someone advice they didn’t ask for.
I think having a balance is good. I consider myself to be very independent and I'm the type of person that most people come to for help when they need it, but sometimes I can have too much going on myself and I know that I need to get better about asking for help when that happens. I don't like to ask for help, not because I consider it a weakness, but because I don't want to burden other people. Another reason I'm hesitant to reach out for help is because if I let someone else do something, they may not do it right or up to my standards. But everybody needs help sometimes so it's something I need to work on.
As LadyDestani said, having a balance is good. You need to be independent to a certain point and able to do things yourself, but there are going to be times when you will have to ask for help with something, and that is O.K. The good ones will not only help you, but teach you how to do it so you don’t have to ask them again. As the sayings go, give someone a fish and they’ll ask for more, teach them how to fish and they’ll have all the fish they need. And teamwork makes the dream work. The most important thing is to know when you need to step up and when you need to rely on others.
TL;DR my answer to that question is no.
TL;DR my answer to that question is no.
nightglow
Little can stop the sun and moon from thier dance.
Knowledge/experience based help, no. I just ask a relative or someone online. Other kind of help yes. It isn't nice to be at the mercy of others even if small is how I feel. It's not really about weakness but rather it being weaponized.
Also I think mental health plays a large roll on "figuring out thing your own". For example my logic gets ridiculously clouded if my anxiety is more active than other times.
Also I think mental health plays a large roll on "figuring out thing your own". For example my logic gets ridiculously clouded if my anxiety is more active than other times.
Dunquixote
Mrrrroooooow! T-Treasure...
My mom is still helping me, so no. Am I embarrassed, yes and I think she should be embarrassed of me too. :/ When it comes to asking for help in a store or ordering on the phone, things like that, yes I hate asking because I am shy and just nervous and cannot articulate my thoughts well or form them on the spot fast.
i’ve been afraid to ask for help my entire life. growing up, me asking for help was often met with exasperated sighs and begrudging assistance, which is likely the root of my fear. to their credit, 2/3 of the people that i live with no longer respond in this way when help is asked of them but i’ll never be able to shake off the feelings that their annoyance instilled in me. unfortunately for me, my mental illnesses and developmental delays have left me quite codependent to the point that at 19 years old, i am terrified of phone calls, socialization with people that i don’t know and am not comfortable with, etc and i do my absolute best to avoid these things. this means that i often go weeks at a time without my meds as i’m too afraid to call the pharmacy, i don’t go out by myself and i’m overall just. not very functional :/. the anxiety i feel about asking for help doesn’t make things better and usually the problem isn’t ‘resolved’ until i blow up about the situation out of frustration. it’s the same with people outside of my family, too. 
tldr; yes. i’m afraid i don’t have any advice for you but you’re not alone.
tldr; yes. i’m afraid i don’t have any advice for you but you’re not alone.
Millysaurusrexjr
yeah
I've also always been afraid of asking for help; mainly due to social anxiety. I don't like to bother people. Sometimes I have no choice and have to ask for help, but it's still not easy
Maymeows16
Senior Member
I like to be more independent usually for a lot of things, but if I'm comfortable with that person I dont mind. I really prefer not to ask for a lot or too much though since I want to learn to rely on myself as a priority.
CrankyCupcake
overthinks everything
Asking for help is always a last resort for me.
Not that I'm afraid to ask (I love asking perfect strangers for directions
) but I've always craved and valued independence. I learned from a young age to fend for myself; I've always told myself to not rely on others. If I can do it, I do it. If I can't do it, I learn to do it. I do enjoy learning new things.
Naturally, it's difficult to go through life without depending on others now and then. If I lack the physical strength, relevant experience or expertise to get a job done properly, I will ask or pay for help. Otherwise, I always do what I can myself. My husband and son know that my greatest fear is losing my health and becoming dependent on others to care for me. It is, frankly, terrifying for me to contemplate such a scenario.
Not that I'm afraid to ask (I love asking perfect strangers for directions
) but I've always craved and valued independence. I learned from a young age to fend for myself; I've always told myself to not rely on others. If I can do it, I do it. If I can't do it, I learn to do it. I do enjoy learning new things.Naturally, it's difficult to go through life without depending on others now and then. If I lack the physical strength, relevant experience or expertise to get a job done properly, I will ask or pay for help. Otherwise, I always do what I can myself. My husband and son know that my greatest fear is losing my health and becoming dependent on others to care for me. It is, frankly, terrifying for me to contemplate such a scenario.
Pretty much. I don't like bothering people for my sake. I try to do whatever I can on my own and if I don't know how I'll look it up. Some things though, are beyond my skillset and I know when to smarten up and ask someone for help.
Being independent doesn't necessarily mean not asking for help when needed. In fact, if you are truly independent, you will know when you need to help yourself and ask for help/advice, opposed to forcing someone to help you when your in too deep. There is a fine line between ignorance (not in relation to anxiety, etc.) and independence.
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tomatospooks666
Senior Member
not afraid necessarily, i just don't trust most people to not make things worse if i were to ask for help. and people just complicate things, anyhow, i'd rather try to do stuff on my own.
CylieDanny
OK, it's giving Jealousy
It depends on the situation. If I need advice or dont know what I'm doing yes.. other wise no, for the majority of the time I don't.. I get an inner fear of coming off as stupid, for not figuring out obviously simple things on my own..
That's another reason I try not too,
That's another reason I try not too,
It depends on the situation. I sometimes feel nervous asking for things but that is due to social anxiety - I would much rather just deal with my situation than have to go up and speak to somebody. In other cases like school projects and stuff with a team, I'd rather not ask for help unless it is a last resort. I also don't typically trust others to give decent help with what I need it on unless it were an expert in the field. The only time I'd dislike someone asking for help is if they did not try to help themselves first.
sleepydreepy
legendary egg
I pride myself on being extremely independent and resourceful so I can usually get through certain situations on my own, but when I can't, I do have a hard time asking for help. Depending on the situation its either because I'm too stubborn, don't want to bother anyone, or I think my question is stupid.
Example 1: If I am trying to put together a piece of furniture from Ikea, I will rarely ask for help because I am too proud and feel like I can figure it out on my own.
Example 2: In college if I was sick and missed a meal because I didn't want to get out of bed, I would usually just eat snacks in my room because I didn't want to bother my friends and ask if they would bring me food (even though they totally would have done it)
Example 3: I went to a prestigious college and sometimes got "imposter syndrome" and felt like everyone else was way smarter than me, so I would hesitate asking questions in class because I didn't want the other kids/professors to think I was dumb.
Example 1: If I am trying to put together a piece of furniture from Ikea, I will rarely ask for help because I am too proud and feel like I can figure it out on my own.
Example 2: In college if I was sick and missed a meal because I didn't want to get out of bed, I would usually just eat snacks in my room because I didn't want to bother my friends and ask if they would bring me food (even though they totally would have done it)
Example 3: I went to a prestigious college and sometimes got "imposter syndrome" and felt like everyone else was way smarter than me, so I would hesitate asking questions in class because I didn't want the other kids/professors to think I was dumb.
