does anyone know..or relate to this??

[Rasha]

today I am convinced that might actually have some kind of a disorder I can't identify, it's something I've had all my life and I just can't figure it out..
well, let's say I bought or got this really nice vase/shirt (whatever it is) that has nothing special about and I placed it on my disk or something, if I left then found it gone when I return I completely lose it, my vision becomes unclear and my mind goes blank and I start panicking and screaming like it's the end of the world (like a toddler..), it's very stupid and embarrassing I know but really I think this is not normal and it's not just me being a baby because I stop thinking and I lose control of my body, and when I'm over with it I start thinking about what I've just done with extreme shame and deep feeling of guilt. to add insult to injury this could happen anywhere, even in crowded places, sometimes to the point I start screaming and throwing thing around me and banging on walls or tables with my hands, like an animal.
it's not just when I lose something, this also happens when a plan goes completely wrong or when I'm at work and they ask me to do a lot of tasks at once..I get irritated then I try to take a deep breath but in the end I just lose it. I've got warnings at work from this behavior and my boss said that I really need help and some people say that I'm mentally ill. if you were to witness it it's much worse than how I'm describing it here.
I really don't know what's wrong with me, and no I don't have anger issues it's more fear to the point of panicking..over things and situations that are not worth it.
yes, I will go to therapy soon and maybe they'll fix my problem but I decided to share this anyway

 

[N a t]

I don't think I have anything similar to your problem, but I am SUPER FORGETFUL. Sometimes my memory seems fantastic, and other times it is absolutely shot. Not like, I can't remember everything, like some amnesia. For example, someone could tell me to do something that very moment, and right before I go to do it, I ask myself "What was I doing again?" or "Was I supposed to do it this way or that way?" And sometimes when I meet a new person, they'll introduce themselves, and about 2 minutes later I have to repeatedly ask myself, "What was their name?" I'd be too embarrassed to ask them myself, but I'm starting to just tell people that I'm super forgetful. I just hate asking them the same questions or telling them the same things so many times. They get so annoyed. I've told my friends the same stories so many times, that I finally had to train myself to first ask them, "Did I tell you about this or that?" Because I'm trying to not annoy them like I used to. It bothers me more, that I annoy people with my forgetfulness, than being forgetful does.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I hope everything goes well though, and you get your problem sorted out. It sounds like it's a pain to live with

 

[piichinu]

Anger management issues or autism spectrum probably

 

[moonford]

Possibility autism?
I'm no professional, not in the slightest.

 

[Samansu]

It may also be that you have severe anxiety. I tend to get that way, especially in crowded social situations, if I am not 100% prepared before I go. I tend to avoid those types of situations because I know I will panic or get really upset at some point, but sometimes it is unavoidable. I'm glad you are going to go talk to someone! They will be able to help you more than we can! ^-^

 

[Stalfos]

Anger management issues

That would've been my first guess but I'm no expert. I doubt any of us are. It's a good thing you're gonna see a professional and hopefully they can help you out.

 

[ams]

I used to have outbursts before my depression was treated. Around the time it was the worst I remember calling a woman holding an infant at the grocery store a very rude name after she took the last loaf of bread. That's something that's completely out of character for me. Another time I remember screaming at the top of my lungs in my kitchen because I didn't want to go to the dentist and I actually love going to the dentist normally. I'd recommend seeing a mental health specialist about it because it's really worth it if it's treatable.

 

[Bunnilla]

I'm not expert you should go to a professional, but I definitely think there is some kind of problem.

 

[Chicha]

Oh wow, that sounds so terrible to experience. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Like everyone said, please see a professional so you can be diagnosed and get the proper care. Since you said this has been affecting your job and got warnings over it, absolutely mention this to your therapist & medical professionals because they can most likely work things out with your job. Good luck.

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

I'm no medical professional but I've worked with a lot of children and adults with special needs/metal health problems/disabilities.
My first thoughts were Autism, or Aspergers maybe. You are obviously high functioning but that doesn't mean you don't fall somewhere on the spectrum. The tiny things like plans changing and losing items can result in these kinds of meltdowns. Of course, you could also have something else going on, but the things you talk about are quite familiar to me. And you say you have known all your life something was going on? Did anybody ever pick up on it at school? Or did it manifest itself differently when you were a child?

 

[Dim]

I can't say what it is, but I had that panicky thing A LOT when I was really young. These days I tend to lose control out of anger instead, even over little things. I tend to get very irritated, especially if it might cause me a lot of discomfort in the future. It annoys my housemates to see me lose control like that. Anger runs in the family, but I have a very bad temper that isn't normal. I have only been diagnosed with ADD, but ,y mom started to think they did it wromg and I may be Bipolar or something

 

[sock]

Firstly, really sorry to hear you're having to go through this

Secondly, although I haven't experienced anything similar, I have suffered with extreme anxiety pretty recently and it has been known to 'tip me over the edge', shall I say. Unfortunately, what I suffered with was uncontrollably crying in public, which is like an anxiety attack for me. It would make me extremely tired, achy and give me very bad headaches. It could have easily gotten worse, but luckily I managed to get it under control.

If it keeps happening, I'd definitely recommend getting some help. I've found my college to be amazing with my anxiety, and I wouldn't have been able to get through it without the mentors there. I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I hope this makes you feel not quite so alone <3