“encouraged and normalised a lot of toxic relationship behaviors”
Sadly that’s most family time type films and media. So it doesn’t surprise me. Coming from a bad family situation and having to separate from it, you’d be surprised how many people still encourage you to go back to an abusive and toxic situation just because. So, ultimately it’s in our culture and many others.
Definitely a good dialogue to have though and recognize. Hopefully it changes in the future.
Totally
In fairness, I think as a writer, especially within family-comedy, it can be tricky to display relatable and comical family behaviours, without addressing some toxic family behaviours. But as you say, the issue with this is when these behaviours become normalised.
Oof I definitely have some feelings about this movie. Trying to summarize them is proving to be a challenge as my initial reply was so long.
Can I please just watch some cute rom coms that show me a world where nobody bats an eye at my gay couples?
THIS. I also completely agree that coming out stories are important (I mean, it was actually the first coming out movie my, conservative catholic, mum watched, despite there being tons out there). But I'm getting bored of the queer stories told in the 'look what we had to do to get here!!!' world. It tends to normalise unacceptance and desensitise audiences from these behaviours.
I want to see why Abby loves Harper so much, I want to see what makes them work, show me why Abby was ready to propose to her!
MORE CONTEXT THAN BREAKFAST IN BED, PLEASE. I needed to know WHY Abby was able to forgive Harper, and I do not want to accept that this was purely because Abby is just 'too nice' and 'in love'. Whilst Harper did treat Abby so, so horribly, expanding on her valuable and loving traits (esp, to Abby) would have made her a much less hateable character. Again, super rushed ending too, with little explanation of what led Abby to follow through with the proposal.
The way Harper treated Abby was inexcusable. Could I try to explain/justify her reasons for her actions? Sure. But that doesn’t make what she did okay.
TWO REALLY HORRIBLE POINTS THAT MADE ME SO, SO ANGRY (if i had to pick...lol)
1) When Harper looked at Abby like 'look! I did it! (Came out to her parents).' This made me feel sick to the core, as if Harper doing this would fix everything. Her child-like demand for validation obviously comes from a deep sense of insecurity and immaturity, and we can understand this through her context, but god, what a horrible, gut wrenching scene.
2) When Harper went to beg for Abby back, John (? I think, whatever Dan Levy's character is) whispering and gesturing to Abby to 'do it' and take her back. WHAT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE HER FRIEND? You just saw your friend get absolutely ripped to pieces and that is your response??? How horrific. In saying this though, I did appreciate and understand his walk in the snow chat with Abby about the importance of understanding different privileges and circumstances in coming out, and therefore the difference between Abby and Harper. However, because of the whole 'do it' push, it then felt like this meaningful and constructive conversation was actually used to guilt trip Abby into giving Harper 'another chance'. In reality, this conversation should have convinced Abby that she could (but under no obligation to) continue to be there for Harper as a friend, whilst also seeking a more accepting, open and honest relationship with someone else.
I don’t think Abby & Riley should’ve ended up together
As much as I love Riley (like, can
i have her), I think that Abby and Riley would have been better as friends, and if anything, wayyy down the line, something more. I think they needed each other at that moment to validate each other's horrible experiences in the way Harper treated them. I think that together, they were also important for Harper's growth to force her to reflect and acknowledge the pain she has inflicted on two wonderful people; who despite this, did not antagonise Harper and instead supported her.
As a Schitts Creek watcher, I think that the reason I was so frustrated about this movie was because, although I should have low expectations for a chummy christmas movie, it felt SO backwards for a Dan Levy movie. I know he had no involvement in writing or producing, but I just can't believe that his character reinforced such toxic behaviours in this movie, when his own show paved the way for the opposite. This movie made me feel really icky, but also.. betrayed? I just expected so much better from him. I'm obviously taking this way too personally, hahaha. On top of this, it just feels weird watching him in a show he created, which is set in a context where queer relationships are almost fully normalised.
Have I said too much? Probably, and even then I have so many other thoughts. Just, this film really rubbed me the wrong way and I don't think I'll be able to get over it for a while, hahaha.
