Kit/Kitsune
Senior Member
Please help!!!$
How do I break up with someone if I never lovers them in the first place???
- Thread starter Kit/Kitsune
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You don’t need to make a point to them that you don’t love them. Maybe just tell them that you’re not feeling it or confused about where you stand with relationships or something? Might be more complicated if they see you dating soon after.
Tbh as long as you’re not making them feel blamed I guess you’ll do ok, if they love you it’s going to hurt for them either way. Sounds cold of me and it sucks. It really does but you can’t account for absolutely everything.
Tbh as long as you’re not making them feel blamed I guess you’ll do ok, if they love you it’s going to hurt for them either way. Sounds cold of me and it sucks. It really does but you can’t account for absolutely everything.
Kit/Kitsune
Senior Member
Ok thank you
The answer is very simple. Put yourself in their situation and imagine what it would be like. How would you want someone to break up with you?
First of all, you don’t owe anyone a relationship. You don’t need to feel guilty about breaking up with someone, even if it makes them very sad.
Of course, it’s still important to be as gracious and respectful as you can safely be. You don’t have to over-explain, and as was already stated, I wouldn’t say something like “I never loved you.” Instead, I’d keep the focus on your present feelings and needs. “I’m really sorry, but my feelings have changed. I think we should break up. I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s the right decision for me right now.” They might ask you why, why, why? It’s okay to be simple and repetitive. “My feelings have changed.” “I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s the right thing to do.” “I don’t want to be together any more.”
Resist the temptation to place the blame on circumstances beyond your control (which some people interpret as “once exams are over/grandma gets better/they quit their awful job, we can have another chance!”), or to say you’re going to be single for a while or anything else you can’t actually know with certainty. Also, resist the temptation to offer to stay friends unless you are 100% sure you want to. You don’t have to be someone’s emotional support system about your own breakup. If you don’t know if you want to stay friends, you can say “I don’t know yet. I need a little time and space to figure that out.”
IF the relationship brought something positive into your life or if aspects were enjoyable, you can tell them that you’re grateful for the time you shared and you don’t regret it. Again I would only say this if it is actually true!
Of course, it’s still important to be as gracious and respectful as you can safely be. You don’t have to over-explain, and as was already stated, I wouldn’t say something like “I never loved you.” Instead, I’d keep the focus on your present feelings and needs. “I’m really sorry, but my feelings have changed. I think we should break up. I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s the right decision for me right now.” They might ask you why, why, why? It’s okay to be simple and repetitive. “My feelings have changed.” “I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s the right thing to do.” “I don’t want to be together any more.”
Resist the temptation to place the blame on circumstances beyond your control (which some people interpret as “once exams are over/grandma gets better/they quit their awful job, we can have another chance!”), or to say you’re going to be single for a while or anything else you can’t actually know with certainty. Also, resist the temptation to offer to stay friends unless you are 100% sure you want to. You don’t have to be someone’s emotional support system about your own breakup. If you don’t know if you want to stay friends, you can say “I don’t know yet. I need a little time and space to figure that out.”
IF the relationship brought something positive into your life or if aspects were enjoyable, you can tell them that you’re grateful for the time you shared and you don’t regret it. Again I would only say this if it is actually true!
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