Parental issues

[nintendofan85]

Ok, so my mom basically left me stranded for two hours today. This isn't the first time this has happened either (she and my dad previously did this in December 2015).
We had open house at my house today, since it's for sale, and so of course, our realtor wanted us to leave, so I went to my neighborhood pool. The thing is, apparently my mom left for my grandma's house without telling me (or telling her, for that matter) and I had no way of reaching her as her cell phone was turned off, and open house was going on by the time I was leaving. I was basically stuck until she finally came to get me, once I called my grandma since I had no idea who else to call (my dad is in Alabama right now).
This would obviously not have happened if I had my own car (which my mom insisted I do not have one because of fears I would get in an accident). The problem is, while I live in the suburbs, there is zero public transportation here and the area I live in was only in the county until the city annexed it in 2009.
This kind of stuff drives me crazy. Why couldn't my mom have at least stopped at the pool and told me she was going to my grandma's house, or at least told me before I left? I was stuck in the heat (especially because it gets so hot here in Mississippi, reaching the 90s Fahrenheit) and everyone around me was smoking cigarettes, which made it even worse...

 

[Pyoopi]

So I'm just going to ask basics before assuming.

Did you talk to her at all about this incident? Why didn't she bring you along and why was her phone off?

I don't know your relationship with your mom. If this wasn't her first rodeo, she's either extremely careless/selfish or believes that you're almost an adult you can figure it out.

I would talk to your dad or another family member about getting a used car. Look into part time jobs so you can get a car loan so someone could help pay. You're going to have to mooch off a neighbor, or friend/family member for a ride and then it can turn into a coworker instead as you save up.

 

[SublimeDonut]

Oh my god, that's so sad. I'm so sorry to hear that I don't know what to say though, I have never had any experience like that with my parents. Although I have known a 15 year old whose parents divorced without even saying a word to her.

 

[nintendofan85]

So I'm just going to ask basics before assuming.

Did you talk to her at all about this incident? Why didn't she bring you along and why was her phone off?

I don't know your relationship with your mom. If this wasn't her first rodeo, she's either extremely careless/selfish or believes that you're almost an adult you can figure it out.

I would talk to your dad or another family member about getting a used car. Look into part time jobs so you can get a car loan so someone could help pay. You're going to have to mooch off a neighbor, or friend/family member for a ride and then it can turn into a coworker instead as you save up.

I'm supposed to be getting my dad's car handed down to me soon, but there's no definite time when that's happening. It may not happen for months.
She apologized for it happening, but she didn't say why her cell phone was turned off and she didn't say why she didn't stop by the pool, either. I am 17 and the last one happened when I was 15, but I don't think age excuses what happened.

 

[rbell2915]

Do you have a job? Have you talked to your father about getting a car? Because you're almost a legal adult now and you should be able to go where you want by yourself. Do you even have a license? Show your mother you're a safe and competent driver. Get a job and tell her you'll pay for everything that goes along with owning a car.

The freedom will be liberating.

 

[nintendofan85]

Do you have a job? Have you talked to your father about getting a car? Because you're almost a legal adult now and you should be able to go where you want by yourself. Do you even have a license? Show your mother you're a safe and competent driver. Get a job and tell her you'll pay for everything that goes along with owning a car.

The freedom will be liberating.

Yes, I got my license almost a year ago and I have talked about it with them several times. In fact, many jobs that typically hire teens won't hire them unless they have cars because so many adults have taken those jobs because of the Great Recession and its aftermath.

 

[visibleghost]

can't u like... use a bike?

 

[rbell2915]

Are you going to college soon or no? If yes, do you plan on living with your parents or moving into a dorm/apartment?

 

[nintendofan85]

can't u like... use a bike?

Those are dangerous to use in my area because I live near a highway with no sidewalks.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Are you going to college soon or no? If yes, do you plan on living with your parents or moving into a dorm/apartment?

I had considered living with my parents to save on tuition, but it's not exactly something I want to do...

 

[rbell2915]

I suggest having a meeting with your parents and discussing why you think you should be allowed to have a car, especially in the environment you live in. Bring up how you can get a job to pay for it, it'll give you freedom, et cetera. I'm sure that's why your mom doesn't want you to have it though. Why is she so afraid for you to get into an accident, but not herself?

 

[EpicGamer12]

I mean... that sucks I guess? But it's 2 hours in the heat. If you're really in that much of a pickle, why not call a friend or go to a nearby building to cool off? And it happened once more 2 years ago? My dude, it's not a big deal. If this is your biggest issue in life, you have it good.

 

[nintendofan85]

I mean... that sucks I guess? But it's 2 hours in the heat. If you're really in that much of a pickle, why not call a friend or go to a nearby building to cool off? And it happened once more 2 years ago? My dude, it's not a big deal. If this is your biggest issue in life, you have it good.

December 2015 was only about a year and a half ago. And I'm sorry, but all of my friends have been away from home.
Listen, what disappointed me here is not the incident. It's the fact that my parents are unreliable and stuff like this makes me feel like I can't trust them.

 

[EpicGamer12]

December 2015 was only about a year and a half ago. And I'm sorry, but all of my friends have been away from home.
Listen, what disappointed me here is not the incident. It's the fact that my parents are unreliable and stuff like this makes me feel like I can't trust them.

That's understandable, but people are set in their ways. The only thing you can really do is adapt to what they put you through the best you can. I don't know what it is in the US, but at 18 or 19 in Canada your parents no longer have any say over what you do, so you'll be living freedom soon.

 

[nintendofan85]

That's understandable, but people are set in their ways. The only thing you can really do is adapt to what they put you through the best you can. I don't know what it is in the US, but at 18 or 19 in Canada your parents no longer have any say over what you do, so you'll be living freedom soon.

It's 18 here, and I'll be 18 in less than seven months anyway. But, believe me, my patience wears thin... I had to deal with a lot of this from them when I was in middle school, so now when it repeats I can't tolerate it like I could then.

 

[helenkeller]

I mean... that sucks I guess? But it's 2 hours in the heat. If you're really in that much of a pickle, why not call a friend or go to a nearby building to cool off? And it happened once more 2 years ago? My dude, it's not a big deal. If this is your biggest issue in life, you have it good.

if you forget your child when theyre at a local pool that ****s a big deal?????????? my mom couldnt get me from the pool and she sent an old man she trusted w a note in her hand writing to show us so we would get in his car.

if your parent FORGETS your child even twice, even once, thats a big no no!!!!! 17 year olds who have no form of transportation do not need to be stranded! what if they got abducted?

 

[EpicGamer12]

if you forget your child when theyre at a local pool that ****s a big deal?????????? my mom couldnt get me from the pool and she sent an old man she trusted w a note in her hand writing to show us so we would get in his car.

if your parent FORGETS your child even twice, even once, thats a big no no!!!!! 17 year olds who have no form of transportation do not need to be stranded! what if they got abducted?

I wouldn't consider a 17 year old a child, personally, but maybe it's just cultural differences from that part of the states and this part of Canada.

 

[helenkeller]

I wouldn't consider a 17 year old a child, personally, but maybe it's just cultural differences from that part of the states and this part of Canada.

its different there then.