Part two to my thread about the anxiety that comes from "We need to talk."

[marzipanmermaid]

My anxiety and 'overreaction' was correct: it was that kind of talk.
We went through almost breaking up again.
It was my fault, again.
Like always.
He's getting exhausted.
It's my fault...

Can't cry anymore.
Gotta push it all down.
Crying is for when you're home alone or in the shower.
Or when your pet is sick.
Gotta pull myself together.
Gotta show him things are gonna be different.

My heart hurts.
Really bad.

I almost did something bad this morning.
Almost, but what's a bruise going to solve, ya know?
Besides, I don't break promises.
Gotta be good.

 

[Shirohibiki]

-hugs- im sorry

 

[marzipanmermaid]

I've gotten pretty good at hiding my anxiety/panic attacks though. I'm pretty stoked that at least I can hide my shame instead of everyone hearing me basically asphyxiate while crying.

 

[marzipanmermaid]

-hugs- im sorry

It's fine. I got to be better. That's all. It's always my fault.

 

[Shirohibiki]

It's fine. I got to be better. That's all. It's always my fault.

it isnt your fault; you just need help. thats all. the disease is not your fault

 

[marzipanmermaid]

I hate my stupid brain. It's costing me everything.

 

[Shirohibiki]

I hate my stupid brain. It's costing me everything.

i know. im right there with you.

 

[a potato]

I'm always around if you need to talk. <3