Saying Goodbye

Lujei

Fairy Queen from Majesty
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I just got home from school, and I'm pretty sure this was our last assembly. Our last day of school is the 24th, and it's approaching quickly. I wish it wouldn't.

I don't think I truly realize the gravity of this time. Of graduating from high school. I still remember freshman year, when my brother still went to the same school as me, and I was only known as his sister, or not at all. I had a small group of friends and knew very little about the school itself, and what to expect. I sometimes imagined this time. Going away from this school and going out into the world, as an adult.

I'm in this broadcasting class that makes video announcements for my school once a week, and i saw group 2's last show this morning. They showed all the videos they had done and any opnions they had about graduating. I really wanted to cry. So many memories were made here; good and bad. I feel almost on top of the food chain, and now i gotta start again at square one. Many people know me now, and I feel like I have made at least some sort of impression. I just hope its a very good and memorable one.

I also almost feel like I'm leaving a time capsule behind. Advice and experience to pass down to freshman who are new to the whole adult thing. Its...scary. I used to be the small fry who nobody knew and had no idea of the things to come, watching the adults do whatever the heck their doing in their completely different world. Now I'm the adult, seeing the kids grow up in their own way and experience something that will shape their lives; who are learning to run.

It's very sad for me...saying goodbye to high school. The certainty of what i have to do is now gone. I'm set free to choose my path, but i don't know where to go. My friends are going to depart and seperate, maybe even forget about each other altogether, and I'll most likely never hear from most of them ever again. All of the teachers who i have come to see as parents, friends, role models, and have spent their time to get to know me more and help me learn. Not only the subject they are teaching, but about life and about what's right.

So many memories here i won't forget. Like when i first met my best friend who is like a sister to me, when I joined choir and tried my best, when i put all my effort into quality videos in video class, when i had a huge crush on this one guy, when i left my first boyfriend to be with someone else (and still heavily regret to this day), when that next boyfriend broke my heart, my whole period of sudden depression, and many more...these memories define me and has made me who i am now. It's sad when people don't see memories that way in my opinion.

I won't forget high school...or the feeling of sorrow that i am feeling right now about saying goodbye to it. High school will never happen again...and life tends to remind me of that quite a lot. In fact, life does everything it can to bring me down and lose hope. To make sure that i know that this is the end. But i also hope life will have good things in store, new adventures like high school that make things memorable and worthwhile. Something that in 60 years I'll look back and say "It was so worth it. I don't regret a thing."
 
You want to be able to look back on your life and feel satisfaction in having done your best, hm?
 
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pretty much, yes. I don't want to look back and be like "well that was a waste of time" or something.
 
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