Zanessa
ZanessaGaily>Zanessa
Alright so I have a writing class in less than 3 hours and I just finished this piece. The prompt is: something that didn't work as expected. But I took a twist on it and just wrote about the time I came out. Please, let me know what I should fix and stuff. ;A;
(it ends there because it could only be 1 page long...)
I feel like the flow is messed up but like?? Maybe it works?? Just help me as much as possible ;A;
Coming out while suffering depression and anxiety might have been the worst thing I could do. Identifying as a pansexual (someone who is attracted to all genders, from transgenders to the genderless, to people who identified as their assigned sex at birth) while my family was still mourning my grandfather was a mistake. While everyone was trying to come to terms with this death, they also now had to come to terms that I, their first niece, great-niece, or daughter, but most importantly the first in the next generation, could end up marrying a female. For them, it was such a foreign idea. For my sister, it was something she'd rather me avoid so there was no conflict in the family.
Prior to this day, I asked my aunt to make a scarf or hat with the colors of the pansexual flag without revealing what it represented. She accepted. However, when she found out what the colors meant, she not only told me that she would no longer make it, but that me being anything but straight was not 'her preference'. I had actually expected her to make it regardless, so it was hard to accept that she wouldn't.
After I had come out, I left the table of mixed emotions and went into my bedroom. My anxiety had not dissipated because it was well aware that my parents had to pretend while my great-aunt and aunt were there.
Once they were gone, I knew my relationship with my family would be forever ruined. To this day, there is still this separation between me, my mom, and certainly my aunt.
I also realized while in a state of massive depression, where it seemed only as if it was black all around, that one of the reasons these views were the way they were is because of their religious standpoint. I had already become an atheist when my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer and when my friend, 16 at the time, lost her sister at age 11. I think with this, it was only harder for anyone to accept my sexuality ? because I had already rejected a God in my life.
Prior to this day, I asked my aunt to make a scarf or hat with the colors of the pansexual flag without revealing what it represented. She accepted. However, when she found out what the colors meant, she not only told me that she would no longer make it, but that me being anything but straight was not 'her preference'. I had actually expected her to make it regardless, so it was hard to accept that she wouldn't.
After I had come out, I left the table of mixed emotions and went into my bedroom. My anxiety had not dissipated because it was well aware that my parents had to pretend while my great-aunt and aunt were there.
Once they were gone, I knew my relationship with my family would be forever ruined. To this day, there is still this separation between me, my mom, and certainly my aunt.
I also realized while in a state of massive depression, where it seemed only as if it was black all around, that one of the reasons these views were the way they were is because of their religious standpoint. I had already become an atheist when my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer and when my friend, 16 at the time, lost her sister at age 11. I think with this, it was only harder for anyone to accept my sexuality ? because I had already rejected a God in my life.
(it ends there because it could only be 1 page long...)
I feel like the flow is messed up but like?? Maybe it works?? Just help me as much as possible ;A;
