Were you raised by married parents or a single parent?

[Jou]

My parents have been married all my life... they have their rough patches but have always worked it out.

Though, for a while, my dad was away doing work... it was a long time, so it felt like me and my two brothers were raised by a single parent for a good long 5-6 months. Sometimes we were scared we were gonna lose the house.

I feel like it made me grow up fast and that I have to help look out for my parents as well, but my mom's a stubborn lady x"D;;

 

[Miii]

Married...I guess but things weren't going so well and my father had several mistresses, they officially divorced when I was in high school...I think. It was confusing, there was always one slamming the door and disappearing for a few months so I'm not sure.
It was not an example of a happy family, and it convinced my brother and I to never get married.

Marriage can be a great thing though. There's a lot of comfort and security in a long term committed relationship like that. Why not strive for making a better choice in who you spend your life with, and to develop healthier ways of dealing with stressful situations than your parents did?

 

[boujee]

By a single parent. My father was a deadbeat and left me and my twin at the age of 4. I would consider my mom as both of my parents since she worked hard to make not even notice him or cared when people ask if I had a father. My mom was also a gamer nerd, she got me into video games lol.

 

[debinoresu]

my parents are still together, and it might sound cruel of me, but i want them to get divorced. i absolutely loathe my father, and though he gives me money and buys me nice things, im only really feigning that hes managing to buy my love/affection. hes a gross person, and i cant truly, wholely be bought. in reality im really terrified of him. hes manipulative, obsessed with the prospect of success (perhaps attempting to live vicariously through us?) and has intense trouble communicating casually/enjoyably with others, jumping down your throat with this horrible tone the second you say something sarcastic/joke about something he doesnt understand. he often blames his own poor upbringing, but honestly, he shouldve gotten his emotional problems straightened out before raising a family. the fact he didnt is his fault, not mine, and i dont really feel bad about his problems he chose to trample over instead of address. a poor upbringing is no justification for giving your own kid a bad upbringing as well.

my mother has expressed the same problems i vent about, and she overall seems incredibly unhappy in the relationship. i remember in my childhood i was confused when she said she was unsure about them living together in old age, as i blindly was under the impression marriage=love. they dated for 10 years before getting married, and despite that my mom finds my dad near insufferable and my dad seems to have issues with my mom as well, constantly harassing her for being bad with money or her "Annoying quirks"

i too have grown up with a lot of mental issues and i think a lot of it can be pointed to my father. ive even told mom she should leave him before, and she seemed scared at the thought of getting divorced. i think its mostly fear of the divorced stigma, and partially the fear of the drama/custody things. if she is considering it i dont think she will until my brother and i are wholely independent to keep us out of it. i think itd save us a lot of grief if they just split and lived separately at the very least. id definitely pick to live with my mother.

people often say stuff like "Be sure to date for a long time before marriage so you know you like the person!" but not even that can seal the deal, clearly. things have been going decently lately (mainly cause ive been faking tolerance around my dad as well as i can) but ive gone through many stages of feeling absolutely miserable in my household. sophomore year was definitely the worst of it, peaking with a botched suicide attempt. stuff has gone up from there, but any time things look as though they may go down again my anxiety goes through the roof. despite all this, im not against marriage for myself, but id want to go about it with someone i love and trust for the right reasons and probably have a strict prenup beforehand to ensure, if a divorce was needed, it could be carried out quickly and easily

tl;dr: married, would love for them to divorce already.

 

[Tao]

My parents were divorced before I can remember because my dad was a tool.

My mum has been with my step dad since I was 4 though, so he's pretty much been like a dad to me anyway, so I've not missed out on much in terms of having a 'father figure' around. My real dad has basically only 'been around' to throw money at me, I barely ever actually saw him.


I think the only thing it's really done is enforced the goal that if I ever become a parent, I'm not going to be a massive prick like him.

Why not strive for making a better choice in who you spend your life with

Hindsight is 20/20, but you can't predict what somebody is going to be like x amount of years down the line.

 

[RainbowCherry]

I was raised by both my parents, but they were divorced.

 

[guardgirl]

I was actually raised by my grandma and her mom.

 

[Romaki]

Married, though they'd always fight but never divorce 'for the kids'. Idk, the constant fighting was really difficult to deal with.

 

[classically.trained]

I was raised/am being raised by married parents. I think it has definitely been a good thing for me. I'm lucky to have had a stable childhood and two great role models to look up to and go to for guidance.

 

[Dim]

My parents have been together for 24 years. I feel they have a very healthy relationship today. Although my mom has had a drinking problem for sometime now, to the point that caused countless arguments and almost split them up. However, my Dad realized him trying to force her to stop only made it worse and was causing problems in their relationship, so he learned to deal with it and help her problem by making her as happy as she could be. I feel they both had a few rough times together, but they got through and I couldn't have asked for better parents.

 

[ForgottenT]

I think my parents got married when I was 5, then they started hating each others, we moved town, and they were supposed to split then, but instead they stayed together cause there were nowhere for my mom to go, then when I was around 15 I guess they finally split up, now I have a bonus dad, and I've had a few bonus moms, I'm 20 now.

 

[Aniko]

Marriage can be a great thing though. There's a lot of comfort and security in a long term committed relationship like that. Why not strive for making a better choice in who you spend your life with, and to develop healthier ways of dealing with stressful situations than your parents did?

Nope, sorry, I won't change my mind we suffered too much with that divorce and all. I have nothing against long term committed relationship but marriage is just not for me.

 

[Rabirin]

Nope my parents were never married, but they were together around the time I was born. So you could say I was raised by parents who were together at the time just not married. They eventually split, although it was when I was very young maybe around the time I was 3 or 4 years old or younger? so after the split up until now I've been raised by a single parent.

 

[AnonymousFish]

I hope I don't come across as attention-seeking with this!

My parents have stuck together through the years. I was raised by the both of them in the same home. Sometimes I felt that it would be better with them separated, though. By the time I was in 4th grade, the fighting was almost nonstop. My dad lost his job and my mom became the breadwinner, which put unfathomable amounts of stress on her. He struggled to find a steady job over the next few years, and actually didn't really find one that was steady until this year. They fought all the time about EVERYTHING, but especially money. My mom turned to alcohol as a way to cope with her stress, and her alcoholism only added more stress to all of us involved (my sister, brother and myself, as well as other family members of course.) It was mostly exigent to me because I'm kind of the "peacemaker," and I'd have to diffuse a lot of situations.
I feel like them getting divorced would have helped all of us in the long run... But things have gotten better through the years, and now my parents really only bicker like an old married couple-that is, they aren't really at each other's throats as much.

One of my biggest pet peeves has come from this, though: people often assume that because my parents are together, that everything in my life is golden and I should really not have much to complain about. :/ This is incredibly dismissive. When people say things like this, it really just makes me feel small, honestly. I'm kinda rambling now so I'll wrap up... If anyone else out there has problems with their parents like this, divorced or together, you're always welcome to talk to me.

 

[Mr. Cat]

My parents have always been married and I'm a wreck and I always wished they would get divorced because they don't communicate at all. When they do talk they automatically seem to assume they other is about to say something negative and get snappy.

My dad is currently a drunk who takes ambien. Basically a (really creepy) zombie. I feel bad for my mom, but she just puts off negative vibes to me. I wish she could just relax.

 

[Irelia]

It's been back and forth but never both together.
As a child, my mom used to only take care of me but when she started having manic episodes, I had to live with my dad. The same cycle happened a few times.

Now I basically live with both. But in separate places. Mom has half the week, dad has the other half.
It. Sucks.
College, I can't wait.

 

[Cascade]

I was raised by my married parents.

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I was raised by a single mom who dated many many many different awful men. So it affected me negatively, not when it was just my mom, my sister and me, but when we subjected to the awful men she would be into because they were usually abusive in one way or another. X.X

 

[Twisterheart]

I was raised by my grandparents

 

[dizzy bone]

I was raised by both parents until I was 12, then my dad moved to Cambodia for work (although he was travelling back and forth since I was younger). I was raised by my mom after that. My parents weren't divorced but I considered them separated since having marital problems was one of the big reasons my dad moved.

I was always resentful towards my dad leaving but thinking back on it, my family was better off split up. My parents fought all the time and my mom was depressed because of it. After he moved out we would get together for family reunions maybe once or twice a year and that became enough for me (mom also enjoyed seeing dad after a long time of being apart). Also I experienced a week of my dad looking over us once when I was in high school and it was the worst! He was so strict and he had no idea how to handle my brother and I. My mom raised me without a lot of boundaries and it allowed me to experience things on my own and realise what's bad and what's good.

My parents tried living together again recently but my mom eventually moved back to Korea lol. Oh well, they tried.