What would you do in this situation?

[nintendofan85]

Since the end of September, this girl has kept spamming my phone with texts and calls. Just a couple of days after we added each other as Facebook friends (we went to the same high school when I still lived in Mississippi, although we never knew each other well at all), she got her sister to tell me that she liked me because she said she was too nervous to. I told her I didn't feel the same, because there's been this other girl that I honestly have had a big crush on since I moved here to the Huntsville area in Alabama, but she continued to send me a lot of messages on Facebook Messenger. By the start of November, she literally called my cell phone seven times in one day which made me block her. However, whenever her sister would try to talk to me, she would sabotage the conversations because she was getting jealous of her. Finally, by late in the month, I reluctantly (very reluctantly) decided to unblock her, just to get her to stop doing that to her sister. She has fallen back into old habits since and on Sunday called me ten times that day. While she apologized, to the point where she started crying (even though I wasn't mad, I was just frustrated, which should be understandable), she still often blows up my phone with messages. She also apparently likes to "hear my voice and see my face" and won't stop asking me if I'm going to my new high school's prom this April. It's been getting on my nerves for quite a while now, partly which I blame myself for, but it's just crazy because I never really talked to this girl at my old high school and she's two and a half years older than me, since I'm 17 (although I turn 18 tomorrow!) and she's 20... I just don't know what to do anymore. She's even said "I'm going to give you a big surprise for your birthday!"... What would you do?

 

[Bowie]

I'd tell her I was gay to get her to go away for good, but that's probably just because if someone annoys me enough, I don't care what I have to say to get them to leave me alone. And I'm also genuinely gay, so there's that.

Just keep her blocked, though. It's obvious you two aren't exactly friends, so it's not worth your time.

 

[Zane]

I've been in similar situations in the past, but unfortunately since I was much younger I didn't know how to deal with it and just let the behavior continue, to the point where I was like scared to check any of my social medias and just avoided them all as much as possible. These days I am much, much more blunt in these kinds of situations and if there's one thing (well one of many things.. lol) I won't put up with, it's people harassing me. If I was feeling patient though I would remind her again, with no hemming & hawing, that I don't return her romantic interest whatsoever. If she keeps it up I would just totally cut her off, it's weird for a 20 yr old to act like that anyway.

 

[honeyaura]

Firstly, happy early birthday!

Now, I've had to block many-a-people before graduating high school. I'd run into similar situations (guy too shy, asks bro for help, end up having to block both). I'm usually too nice to outright block someone, so they'd have to piss me off enough for me to do so. Point is, I'd re-block her. I think it's beyond the point of feeling bad for her, as she's abusing that freedom. And possibly the sister too for her sake (she doesn't deserve that, but idk what else would work?).

Good luck <3

 

[Keldi]

This is harassment. You can report her to authorities. Correct me if I'm wrong(I reccomend researching whether or not it counts where you live), but you can and should report her. I would. Or tell a counselor, a parent, tell her parental unit or sister to take her damn technology away! She needs therapy if she's that crazy. (How ironic. My mom was watching Dr. Phil and it was an rpisode about a girl in love with somebody she's never met and was delusionally in love with...hrmmm interesting...)
I wish you good luck with this.

 

[Minto]

Honestly I'd block them both, because it ain't worth the hassle.That girl sounds way too childish and slightly obsessive, so it's probably best to get out of that situation as soon as you can.

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Block her again. It's quite tiring to put up with that sort of crap. I can't believe how immature she is, and that she can't take a simple hint.

Also, I hope you have a fantastic birthday. <3

 

[kayleee]

She sounds crazy tbh just block her and her sister

 

[John Wick]

Mate, it's tough love time.

If you don't put your foot down.. you will be dealing with more than you can handle.

Tell her you will take out a restraining order, if she tries to make ANY form of contact with you.

Do it too, if she persists.

Happy 18th to you!

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I would just lay it down for her, tell her straight up, that you are only interested in being her friend, and this isn't changing your mind on the matter. Tell her that if you have to you will block her, and possibly her sister, if this doesn't let up. I would just try to be nice, and say you'd like to try to stay friends (IF you really do, if you don't just tell her) but that it's impossible with her bombarding you like this. If you want you can tell her you're pursuing someone else, or just flat out that you're already in a relationship, usually girls are more accepting of that and maybe she'll calm it down some.

I have a guy in my life like this, and I try DESPERATELY to be just his friend but he wants more than that, I am in a relationship, which he knows, and he knows my boyfriend, and he still doesn't let up so I ghost him constantly once he gets all crazy and obsessive.

I hope she'll learn to chill out, cause it's not fun to deal with at all, and if you don't care to be friends with her don't be afraid to tell her that and block her again. Good luck!

 

[Chele]

You?ve already blocked her and told her that you?re not interested and yet she?s still going on about you. The best thing to do in this scenario is block her again, that won?t do any harm. If you don?t like her spamming you with messages and telling you that she wants to see your face, then you?d have to block her. She?s almost invading your privacy and time by doing this. If you don?t want to sound mean by blocking her, then simply don?t reply to her texts, or tell her that you don?t use Facebook anymore.

Edit: omg I forgot to wish you a happy 18th! I really hope you have a great birthday celebration!

 

[Antonio]

Aww...what a classic love story, stalking your crush on facebook. If Lifetime exclusive movies ever told me anything, don't call the cops. Handle it yourself. Therefore, I would handle this like a Lifetime Movie. So, beside the small piece of advice, here's what I would've done:

First, I've never been an official relationship therefore reacting to people obsessing over me on the internet would've been handled totally differently. I would mostly accept her proposal to be my boyfriend and change into a new pants due to the massive oil spill that just happened due to excitement but then I would realize how much of I suck and how I can't handle a proper relationship so I would break up with her the next day, over Facebook (you may hate me, but I was scared). I would assume she would be mad for a few weeks but try harassing me again and her sister will be out of the picture due to how I handle the situation (sorry). She'll continue to call my cell phone/try to text me but realize that I have no cell service weeks later so she'll go back to Facebook. Sadly, Facebook was shutdown around the time due to random reasons so she'll come up with a plan to stalk me in the future.

And she does!! Well, 20 years later. I'm now happily married to Ryan Gosling and have 2 somewhat happy adopted daughters. We live in Japan for some reason and I convinced senpai to move there because for some random reasons. Now, the girl (what's her name again, don't feel like scrolling up to find it) who we shall call Bob, moved to my gaming company as an intern (She stalked my twitter, which survived because it's the superior social media) and we saw each other again. I, who freaked out, found a pebble or two and threw them at her but missed and hit a car. I was scared of her, afraid she might be stalking me but realized that now she's an intern at my company. Since this is a Lifetime movie, I did nothing in my power to get rid of her. Blah Blah Blah, Bob sniped my husbando (Ryan Gosling) and stole my daughters. So, I went to go save my daughters but it was too dangerous. She had them both tied up and was pointing the most dangerous weapon of them all, a Totinos pizza roll. I would call the cops but it's a Lifetime Movie. Blah, Blah, Blah I saved the day with my pet monkey, 2 thousand dollars, and Ryan Gosling who somehow survived being snipe by a crazy chick (Don't ask how it went down). We are safe...for now.

This is what I would do in this situation, If I ever could. Of course, you can just block the girl and her sister and try not to worry about it but I prefer the other way, the way I provided. I wish you the best and make sure to use the report function if you are still being harassed.

 

[Anactoria]

I agree with everyone who's advised to block her - that's some really inappropriate behaviour. Yeah, I get that crushes can get intense for teenagers (but she's not even a teenager!), but you're not supposed to act that way. It does sound like harassment, but I would be a little nicer and give her a warning before calling the authorities, as long as she hasn't threatened you in some way. Or if you want to be even nicer, tell her that you think she needs some help dealing with her emotions, and that you're going to be blocking her until she's settled down, but that maybe afterwards you can try to be friends. You don't have to follow up with trying to become friends either, it's just a way of reasonably deterring her from bothering you. Odds are, after some time (and especially if she does go see a therapist or someone about it), she won't even want to be friends but will hopefully have a healthier outlook on romance.

 

[Warrior]

I would assume the girl has some major mental health problems... which isn't her fault, but even being mentally ill isn't a justifiable excuse for this behaviour.

Given how excessive the behaviour is I would actually be worried about my health if I were you, especially about the birthday thing ... uh try not to be on your own. I think it's very strange for a 20 year old to go after a 17 year old who is not interested. Hell a restraining order may be worth investigating, god only knows shes going to want to prom with you....

Well, happy birthday, good luck with your problem, but I would do everything I can to never interact with this person. Maybe if she asks if you're going to prom you could even be mean and say "Yes, but not with you." This sort of obsessive behaviour relies on delusion, perhaps she can be pulled out of it.

 

[RedTropicalPeachyFish]

I'm guessing, what you're wishing in your mind if that's possible is, maybe you want this person to stop her acts? since, if you were feeling perfectly fine with just blocking her, you could JUST keep blocking her, you wouldn't have even needed to take a trouble of making a thread and asking for other's opinions, unless you're so-called an attention whore, right?

Let's say, that is your preferred result, to make this person stop, not like YOU have to block her, most likely blocking is backfire. To those who you met ONLY through internet, ignorant about each other's personal information like name, address, number, etc. blocking works fine. Although I wouldn't think that's the real best solution, but still it gives you the mean of absolute dumping.

But, in the first place, how did she know your phone number? I'm asking because, regardless if you were aware or not at the time, I'm assuming there might have been something that led her into "misunderstanding", even if it was NOT something like everyone would end up like that.

Unless she's complete nuts or has serious mental illness, there must've been a process that made her go ahead further wrongly. And if that's the case, blocking her is backfire, especially since she knows your phone number, and real name. Someone was saying in earlier post, that most of girls tend to give up if she knows you're already in the relationship with someone else, BUT THIS PERSON IS NOT IN THAT "MOST OF" girls!

However, unless you know what logic/process is in her mind and she's doing like that, you can't stop it. All you can possibly do there should be just blocking her, then. I'm not saying her logic is right. Regardless right or wrong, when you want to make a change in something, you need to be knowledging about it. And if you're serious wanting her to stop, getting opinions "in general" wouldn't help much, I guess. Without knowing actual details, we couldn't give you the actual possible advice to make a change.

Hope you a good luck, dude.

 

[carp]

block delete burn phone burn house burn country burn world burn solar system

 

[nintendofan85]

But, in the first place, how did she know your phone number? I'm asking because, regardless if you were aware or not at the time, I'm assuming there might have been something that led her into "misunderstanding", even if it was NOT something like everyone would end up like that.

That was unfortunately my mistake. Because pretty much everyone that is my Facebook friend I've met IRL either through school, family, or church, my number is on my profile for only friends on there to see. Plus, I did meet her sister and she and I talked a few times during the second semester of my sophomore year back in Mississippi, and at first, when I thought this girl was purely desiring a platonic friendship and nothing else, I didn't think there would be a problem having her find out what my cell phone number was. Obviously, that's probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made in my entire life.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Well, happy birthday, good luck with your problem, but I would do everything I can to never interact with this person. Maybe if she asks if you're going to prom you could even be mean and say "Yes, but not with you." This sort of obsessive behaviour relies on delusion, perhaps she can be pulled out of it.

What makes the prom thing even more ridiculous though is the fact that she still lives in the Jackson area (I lived in the suburbs around there in Mississippi until this past July, as I moved right before my senior year) yet I now live 400 miles away in the Huntsville area. The girl doesn't have a driver's license either and her parents would absolutely not take her to a prom that far away, so it seems ridiculous that me going to a prom in Huntsville would matter so much to her.

 

[RedTropicalPeachyFish]

Because pretty much everyone that is my Facebook friend I've met IRL either through school, family, or church, my number is on my profile for only friends on there to see. Plus, I did meet her sister and she and I talked a few times during the second semester of my sophomore year back in Mississippi

Ah, that was very unfortunate careless mistake, haha. But, so then, seemingly because you're sociable attractive, she took it wrong, got a crush, to the point obsessive.
Possible option IN GENERAL is, then no any interactions, like the other person is saying. Not blocking, just no giving back any reactions. No matter how many times you get calls a day, or even if you wake up to find the wall of texts. Just never showing any reactions.
Being blocked makes the person who's spamming get frustrated. If it's just 400 miles away, getting her frustrated doesn't look a very good idea. If you show literally no any reactions, usually it slows down in half an year.
To the people who are sociable, ignoring someone on purpose must be kinda stressful though.

 

[moonford]

i would avoid and try to forget.

 

[Nuclear Bingo]

I've had this stuff happen to me and my friends before quite often. Most of the time acting like an uncaring jerk does the trick. Just never ever respond is what we did. They gave up eventually and have just gone through guy after guy after guy and they forgot all about me