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What's bothering you?

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I stopped going to school due to some problems and my family are trying to force me to go back when I'm going to be homeschooled soon. I'm now starting to get extremely paranoid because they get really strange and weird and it scares me. They like to complain about how I live too.

I'd be better off in a mental asylum probably with my sort of paranoia. Haha.
 
I'm worried about going back to school because everything will be strange. I haven't even held a pen for about 2 months or wrote anything on paper
 
HERE IS A TIP.

Don't ask how I'm doing by going "oh are you okay?" if I literally haven't said anything to you about anything being wrong. It's like. You're accusing me of something being wrong but there's nothing actually wrong- except now there is because you're getting in my personal space.

brb, burying myself in a shallow grave.
 
everything that could go wrong did go wrong today;

really rude and negative people in my art class to everyone
really rude students in history to everyone
really rude teacher in psychology acting like i'm a ****ing moron for saying something that made 100% logical sense
really stupid kid that ran out in front of my car like honestly can i go back in time to an hour ago to run him over i would tbh
 
I'm the laziest person I've ever met and my sense of self-righteousness is pretty gross.
 
The fact that I start going to college this upcoming Monday, which is when I have to move into their dorms. I don't even want to go but my parents basically forced me into it.
 
About 3 hours ago a giant spider came seriously close to my foot, I'm over the panic attack thing now but I keep thinking there are spiders on me and now I'm having another panic attack even though that spider is long dead.
 
I'm feeling g really weird about this year, mainly because I feel like I'm losing friends. Maybe not losing them, but slowly drifting away from them, which I guess is best, since this is our last year together, and then we'll go to college. I can't help but feel lonely, though. They're nice people and all, but I feel like I can't really talk to them. The only person I feel like I can really talk to dropped out of band (the only class/activity we had together) and is only taking one class at our school this year. I'd like to get together with her, but I have band practice, and she's taking five classes at a community college this semester.

On top of that, a friend I had a crush on last year and I are on better terms now than we were at the end of the year, and I think my feelings for her are returning. The problem is that she seems more interested in another friend of ours, who's kind of been treating me badly since band camp.

(I feel a lot better after venting tbh)
 
I'm getting super nervous about my anniversary Saturday and I don't know why. It's starting to manifest negatively and I've been itchy and trying not to pull at my hair. I'm scared and I don't know why. I keep over-thinking my anxiety and trying to convince myself it's something more than that, when deep down, I know it's not. I feel trapped in my own head.

Not to mention I got kind of a special little number to wear Saturday night and I tried it on and just, what was I thinking?
 
smh
refused to stay with that one, went to howe's instead.
/throws things at telltale

I really don't know what to think about Jane- She's right about Kenny being Dangerous, but the whole thing about setting up a test for her sister just rubs me the wrong way
 
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