What's bothering you?

[marzipanmermaid]

I fell in some rose bushes when I was mowing the lawn.
I cut my legs up really bad and the family of bees living in the vicinity almost got me; I'm more worried about when my dad sees it.
I didn't destroy the thing. It just looks...sad. I tried to fix it the best I could.

 

[Hyperpesta]

I'll try to keep some sort of record of what he says. I'm really scared about it now that you've said this, but I agree that it's necessary to stay safe.

This dude trys anything, Kick him in the goonies and run to the nearest safe place Eg, shop,friends house. And stay there. alert your family and they can collect you from there. Do you walk via main roads or is it kinda descret?

 

[Motte]

I word things carefully I think, but I am blunt. A lot of people can't handle that.

Some situations call for a blunt response, but more often than not I find they don't. You don't have to sugarcoat your words, but just be considerate of how someone might feel in response to what you say. It sounds like your intentions are pure, but if people are saying you're rude it might be wise to meditate on a thought before speaking it; does it really need to be said, and what tone are you using?

 

[nekosync]

I fell in some rose bushes when I was mowing the lawn.
I cut my legs up really bad and the family of bees living in the vicinity almost got me; I'm more worried about when my dad sees it.
I didn't destroy the thing. It just looks...sad. I tried to fix it the best I could.

Aww, I'm sorry. I'm sure your dad would care more about your injury than the garden.

 

[marzipanmermaid]

Aww, I'm sorry. I'm sure your dad would care more about your injury than the garden.

I don't think so, but hopefully he won't notice either.
I also sent you a PM about what you had posted. I had a really close encounter with a guy who said stuff like that.

 

[starlark]

@littlemissmarzipanmermaid I'm sorry, this is completely unrelated but your signature is just too cute for me to ignore ;A;

 

[marzipanmermaid]

@littlemissmarzipanmermaid I'm sorry, this is completely unrelated but your signature is just too cute for me to ignore ;A;

Lol, aw, thank you! I'm a huge BUB enthusiast and I just couldn't resist sharing.

 

[Lavandula]

Some situations call for a blunt response, but more often than not I find they don't. You don't have to sugarcoat your words, but just be considerate of how someone might feel in response to what you say. It sounds like your intentions are pure, but if people are saying you're rude it might be wise to meditate on a thought before speaking it; does it really need to be said, and what tone are you using?

I like who I am and speak what's on my mind, but I do wish people wouldn't make other people responsible for how they choose to react to something said or done. Other people don't make us feel things, we choose how to feel. Some people simply can't handle constructive criticism or truth, even if it's exactly what they need. It's not like I'm telling people they are ugly, fat, stupid, etc. That I can understand since it's obviously rude. Even then (and I don't recommend it, lol) they choose how to react to that such situation as well.

- - - Post Merge - - -

But hey, this forum asked what was on my mind and there you have it

 

[12345]

I'm seriously bothered by student finance atm. Ugh they are literally just so incompetent it's unreal.

Like seriously I changed my degree course halfway through the year, filled in a form CLEARLY explaining what my current degree programme was and what I was changing to. Literally a child could have understood what I meant. They still managed to completely mess it up. I was a second year chemistry student who needed financing for 3 years. Some genius changed my record to be a foundation year medical student who was doing a 5 year degree starting next year. Like were you trying mess this up. Did you make a conscious effort to read my form and just completely type in the wrong things. Are you doing this deliberately.

Basically I'm taking a year out from my degree due to health reasons and despite filling in all the appropriate paperwork they still paid my money for this year in. As in the money to pay for my uni fees. But I'm not gonna be at uni this year.

What this means is I have to mess around calling up 10 different departments trying to repay the money back and cancel future transactions whilst ensuring that I still get funding for the rest of my degree. Because stuff like this does tend to cause problems when you're dealing with a company as incompetent and awful as the student loan company.

Basically what that means is a lot of time listening to god awful 'on hold' music. There are also so many different departments and you have to listen really carefully to what they're saying in order to press the right number to get put in touch with the right department. And if you press the wrong button then you're back to square one and back to listening to some automated voice tell you to 'press 1 for inquiries about something you're not calling about, press 2 for inquiries about something else you're not calling about, press 3 for the joke of today, press 4 for a psychic reading, press 5 for a talk about voodoo magic'. Then finally you get to 'press 27 for inquiries about finance'. Like wow which genius came up with this system.

Like seriously I was on hold for half an hour. In that time I had to listen to the same 3 minute clip of saxophone music played on loop. I had my phone on speaker because I wanted to hear exactly when I got put through to a real life person. Anyway the music suddenly stopped and I was like 'omg real life human being' and I kept saying 'hello' into the phone. Eventually I held it up to my ear to check if I took it off speaker and BAM the saxophone music restarts. In my ear. At full speaker phone volume.

I am this close to mailing the student finance company a chopped up saxophone.

 

[Motte]

I like who I am and speak what's on my mind, but I do wish people wouldn't make other people responsible for how they choose to react to something said or done. Other people don't make us feel things, we choose how to feel. Some people simply can't handle constructive criticism or truth, even if it's exactly what they need. It's not like I'm telling people they are ugly, fat, stupid, etc. That I can understand since it's obviously rude. Even then (and I don't recommend it, lol) they choose how to react to that such situation as well.

- - - Post Merge - - -

But hey, this forum asked what was on my mind and there you have it

Like it or not, you do have to take responsibility and be considerate of your words. No, we can't control how someone interprets what you say, but it truly depends on the manner and situation on which you speak. Constructive criticism means you are 100% considerate about how your opinion is received. I mean, the only time I've offered someone constructive criticism was in my painting courses or when they specifically asked for my honest opinion. That doesn't make it the truth, it's still and will always be an opinion. It's naive to think you know what a person needs to hear when you're also saying people find you rude.

 

[Lavandula]

Like it or not, you do have to take responsibility and be considerate of your words. No, we can't control how someone interprets what you say, but it truly depends on the manner and situation on which you speak. Constructive criticism means you are 100% considerate about how your opinion is received. I mean, the only time I've offered someone constructive criticism was in my painting courses or when they specifically asked for my honest opinion. That doesn't make it the truth, it's still and will always be an opinion. It's naive to think you know what a person needs to hear when you're also saying people find you rude.

How can you be 100% considerate about how your opinion is received when you can't control how it will be interpreted? I do consider and think about how things are worded, and as I've said, I'm not telling people they are hideous or fat or whatever. To me constructive criticism is finding the nicest way of offering advice/bringing about the truth. That is what I feel I do. The problem isn't that I don't think or take responsibility, it's that most people don't want the truth or advice no matter how nicely you try to word it, unless it's something that makes them feel positive. "Some people simply can't handle constructive criticism or truth, even if it's exactly what they need." is what I said and it's an assumption that I told someone what I 'thought they needed to hear.' I was generalizing. I was pretty much doing what you're doing to me right now Giving honest, blunt advice.

 

[Motte]

How can you be 100% considerate about how your opinion is received when you can't control how it will be interpreted? I do consider and think about how things are worded, and as I've said, I'm not telling people they are hideous or fat or whatever. To me constructive criticism is finding the nicest way of bringing about the truth. That is what I feel I do. The problem isn't that I don't think or take responsibility, it's that most people don't want the truth no matter how nicely you try to word it. It's an assumption that I told someone what I 'thought they needed to hear.' I was pretty much doing what you're doing to me right now Giving honest, blunt advice.

Because that's the definition of constructive criticism - to be considerate of your words. It's offering an opinion in a friendly manner, plain and simple. You really have to stop thinking of your opinions as the truth / totality of whatever topic.

And it's not an assumption, you literally said, "Some people simply can't handle constructive criticism or truth, even if it's exactly what they need."
Don't get into semantics over the word 'even' now, come on.

 

[Sanaki]

Marshal's plot doesn't wanna appear and I'm trying to give Fang to somebody.. I've been trying all day.

 

[Zane]

I'm really tired and I have to stay up for at least another three hours but if I lay down I'm gonna fall asleep graaghhhh this is also interfering with my ability to do things

 

[Brackets]

Went to the memorial of the person I just dissected and it was pretty sad.

 

[KarlaKGB]

Went to the memorial of the person I just dissected and it was pretty sad.

u write a letter to their family too, dont u? i lived with two medics at cambridge, i heard a lot of medic horror stories from them

 

[Brackets]

u write a letter to their family too, dont u? i lived with two medics at cambridge, i heard a lot of medic horror stories from them

nah we don't, we met their family at the memorial. It's a bit awkward like I couldn't help thinking 'I've cut up your mum'

 

[Lavandula]

Because that's the definition of constructive criticism - to be considerate of your words. It's offering an opinion in a friendly manner, plain and simple.

I pretty much already said I did that: "To me constructive criticism is finding the nicest way of offering advice/bringing about the truth. That is what I feel I do."

You really have to stop thinking of your opinions as the truth / totality of whatever topic.

And it's not an assumption, you literally said, "Some people simply can't handle constructive criticism or truth, even if it's exactly what they need."

lol, and repeating as I also said: "'Some people simply can't handle constructive criticism or truth, even if it's exactly what they need.' is what I said and it's an assumption that I told someone what I 'thought they needed to hear.' I was generalizing."

The now bold-type section must have been overlooked. A generalized statement is not the same as something that actually happened. It is also not me saying that I know when someone needs truth. It doesn't mean that the statement itself is not often true however, and that was my point. I was speaking of such people, ahem, in general.

I mean, the only time I've offered someone constructive criticism was in my painting courses or when they specifically asked for my honest opinion. That doesn't make it the truth, it's still and will always be an opinion. It's naive to think you know what a person needs to hear when you're also saying people find you rude.

This thread asked what is bothering us, so I got if off my chest. You say you don't give constructive criticism unless asked for, but I didn't ask. You assume I gave an opinion, but how do you know that is what happened? You say "That doesn't make it the truth, it's still and will always be an opinion", but you speak to me as if you know the truth. And it's STILL an assumption that I ever said as fact that I "know what a person needs to hear." Again back to the top there, a generalized statement is not me claiming I know what someone needs to hear.

And here we are again with you giving me blunt, honest advice that you think is true and something I need to hear. It seems a bit contradicting.

I know you mean well, but how am I rude and you're not when we're basically doing the same thing? Wait don't even answer or we'll be at this all night

 

[Zane]

nah we don't, we met their family at the memorial. It's a bit awkward like I couldn't help thinking 'I've cut up your mum'

I can hardly think of a more awkward circumstance for meeting someone. o_o'

 

[n64king]

I'm tired of everyone, everywhere being so angry. I feel like most people have valid reasons to be mad. I know I do. But everyone everywhere, in real life and on the internet is totally on the F-U stance, ready and rearin to go. I felt like a couple years ago everyone was a lot more ready to be friendly or say nothing at all if threatened but now it's all about "let's see how salty I can make this website" or "let's see who I can anger today with my opinion", or the most common one people act out "I haven't been wronged by anyone on here but I'm going to take my anger out on all of you". Even on here, I view threads that start out as a nice discussion, you come back in a few hours or days and everyone is upset and going I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS STILL GOING ON. Everyone made life so boring and depressing by doing that. Why bother at all if you know you're going to say hi and get a nasty attitude back, with a rude face and just get shot down? What the hell ever happened to "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"? OR AT LEAST "treat others how you'd want to be treated". Now it's like "well someone who looks like you ruined my day one time a few months ago, so now anytime I see anyone who looks like you, I'm gonna hate them too".


tl;dr this wasn't related to any other post.