Autism/ADHD Support Thread 🌈

[Shawna]

Here is something a lot of neuro-typicals do not understand
(no offense to any neurotypicals here, I am not saying all are like this, and I am mostly talking about people I deal with in-person):

I feel like a lot of them seem to think that we can get over our symptoms. Like, I've had my parents ***** at me for "worrying too much". I've also had my family **** on me for being sensitive to loud noises and strobing lights.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Here is something a lot of neuro-typicals do not understand
(no offense to any neurotypicals here, I am not saying all are like this, and I am mostly talking about people I deal with in-person):

I feel like a lot of them seem to think that we can get over our symptoms. Like, I've had my parents ***** at me for "worrying too much". I've also had my family **** on me for being sensitive to loud noises and strobing lights.

don't forget those neurodivergent folk who have been conditioned into gaslighting themselves for symptoms/issues they can't control. my dad will be 51 years old in a few months, and he literally just in the last week or so learned about executive dysfunction. he always thought he was just being lazy, and I'm sure he put himself down a lot for it.

 

[michealsmells]

Trying to make yourself work hard and consistently with ADHD is a struggle. Executive dysfunction had been kicking my behind lately and I am struggling to finish this semester well. I'm so close to my goal of entering my program, I can't give up.

What I have to do is gently coerce myself into doing things, like a toddler who doesn't want to go to bed. "If you go to bed, you can have some candy with breakfast!" I need to convince myself to do things with itty bitty rewards. If I draw a bit today, I'll draw better when I get my next commission. If I do a little homework today, I'll be one step closer to my Vet Tech program. If I clean up right now, I'll be less stressed so its easier to focus today. Forcing myself to do things will simply make me have a mental breakdown and not get anything done. Couple this all with trauma from growing up because of my at-the-time undiagnosed ADHD, hereditary and environment induced depression & anxiety, and likely some other things, I'm a mess.

Thank you for this thread though, it makes me remember I'm not alone and many others are dealing with similar issues. I love being ADHD but I also despise it and it affects my day to day life immensely. Having a dedicated place to speak about it is nice.

 

[ali.di.magix]

I suspect that I'm on the ASD spectrum somewhere. When I have done online screening tests for autism, the results always come back with a moderate to strong indication of autism. I'm currently trying to seek an official diagnosis, but boy is it hard to find a psychologist that has any availability. I don't like to say that I have autism without actually having a diagnosis. All I can say is that I have done a lot of research over the past couple of years and feel that I can relate to a lot of symptoms.

I feel like I was one of the people who slipped through the cracks when I was younger as I had no one really picked up on any indicators. I feel like there was evidence though, such as: delayed walking (didn't start walking until almost 2 yrs old), tip toe walking (I did this for years until I was diagnosed with foot problems), lack of social skills, preference for being alone, preferring company of adults rather than children my age...and the list goes on really. My mum used to always tell me that there was nothing wrong with me when I'd tell her of my social struggles at school, but deep down I knew I was different. I honestly think she was in denial about me being different.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I suspect that I'm on the ASD spectrum somewhere. When I have done online screening tests for autism, the results always come back with a moderate to strong indication of autism. I'm currently trying to seek an official diagnosis, but boy is it hard to find a psychologist that has any availability. I don't like to say that I have autism without actually having a diagnosis. All I can say is that I have done a lot of research over the past couple of years and feel that I can relate to a lot of symptoms.

I feel like I was one of the people who slipped through the cracks when I was younger as I had no one really picked up on any indicators. I feel like there was evidence though, such as: delayed walking (didn't start walking until almost 2 yrs old), tip toe walking (I did this for years until I was diagnosed with foot problems), lack of social skills, preference for being alone, preferring company of adults rather than children my age...and the list goes on really. My mum used to always tell me that there was nothing wrong with me when I'd tell her of my social struggles at school, but deep down I knew I was different. I honestly think she was in denial about me being different.

I don't appreciate when parents refuse to get their children tested for ADHD/autism because they're afraid they'll be an outcast. if anything, not having them tested leaves them wondering for much of their lives if something is wrong with them, and makes them feel more like an outcase. I can't understand why parents think it's such a burden to have an autistic kid, like yall aren't the ones who have to live with it lmao (as if living with it is even a bad thing at all)

also interesting to hear about the tiptoe walking thing, I actually still do that when I walk in my bare feet nowadays it's mostly bc of sensory issues, I can't stand to feel dirt/etc on my feet so to keep myself from walking on my toes I wear sandals all the time.

 

[Disneyfangirl23]

I have Autism and was diagnosed at primary school then I was told about it when I was a teenager

 

[peachsaucekitty]

I don't appreciate when parents refuse to get their children tested for ADHD/autism because they're afraid they'll be an outcast. if anything, not having them tested leaves them wondering for much of their lives if something is wrong with them, and makes them feel more like an outcase. I can't understand why parents think it's such a burden to have an autistic kid, like yall aren't the ones who have to live with it lmao (as if living with it is even a bad thing at all)

also interesting to hear about the tiptoe walking thing, I actually still do that when I walk in my bare feet nowadays it's mostly bc of sensory issues, I can't stand to feel dirt/etc on my feet so to keep myself from walking on my toes I wear sandals all the time.

don't know if i belong here or not, but i had SO many ADHD symptoms as a child (still do) but my parents refused to get it checked out, i still struggle with it, RIP

 

[Dunquixote]

Does anyone have any tips of how to cope or solve executive dysfunction? I am at a loss of how to overcome it; if I can’t get myself to do even some of the things I enjoy for fun, hard to see me being able to function in any work environment. we’re still in the process of looking into support options; I thought it wouldn’t hurt to look into it and more about other people’s experiences with it is like now that I know that what I’m experiencing might not be laziness. I really appreciate this thread and what everyone has shared so far.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Does anyone have any tips of how to cope or solve executive dysfunction? I am at a loss of how to overcome it; if I can’t get myself to do even some of the things I enjoy for fun, hard to see me being able to function in any work environment. we’re still in the process of looking into support options; I thought it wouldn’t hurt to look into it and more about other people’s experiences with it is like now that I know that what I’m experiencing might not be laziness. I really appreciate this thread and what everyone has shared so far.

honestly I just have to brute force it sometimes, because the thing abt executive dysfunction is once you can get over starting a task, then finishing it usually isn't too bad. the worst thing, though, is when you don't even realize that you're dealing with it until you've been sitting scrolling through social media for 45 minutes, and I still haven't figured out how to get over that lol.

I know it can be difficult to get through it sometimes, so another thing I recommend is to break the task down into really small steps. like let's say you need to take a shower but you really just can't bc of executive dysfunction. so the first step might be to simply find a shirt to put on afterwards, then other individual articles of clothing, then maybe turning the bathroom light on, etc etc. sometimes the thing that makes exec dysfunction happen is that the task at hand seems too daunting for your current energy level, so breaking it up into smaller tasks can make it easier to accomplish, even if it does take longer.

 

[Dunquixote]

honestly I just have to brute force it sometimes, because the thing abt executive dysfunction is once you can get over starting a task, then finishing it usually isn't too bad. the worst thing, though, is when you don't even realize that you're dealing with it until you've been sitting scrolling through social media for 45 minutes, and I still haven't figured out how to get over that lol.

I know it can be difficult to get through it sometimes, so another thing I recommend is to break the task down into really small steps. like let's say you need to take a shower but you really just can't bc of executive dysfunction. so the first step might be to simply find a shirt to put on afterwards, then other individual articles of clothing, then maybe turning the bathroom light on, etc etc. sometimes the thing that makes exec dysfunction happen is that the task at hand seems too daunting for your current energy level, so breaking it up into smaller tasks can make it easier to accomplish, even if it does take longer.

Thanks so much! I appreciate that you took the time to reply and share this . I’ll give that a shot.

 

[VanitasFan26]

You know everytime I try to stick to a Daily Routine I always get frustrated whenever its interrupted by something unexpected. I know its something that I should deal with, but no matter how hard I try it always stresses me out and puts me in a bad mood.

 

[Shawna]

You know everytime I try to stick to a Daily Routine I always get frustrated whenever its interrupted by something unexpected. I know its something that I should deal with, but no matter how hard I try it always stresses me out and puts me in a bad mood.

I do not blame you in the slightest, I hate for things to happen unexpectedly ;-;

I’m one of those people who needs to be prepared beforehand

 

[michealsmells]

I've currently fallen into the ADHD trap of being unable to do literally anything but one or two things. I have art to do! I have school to do! But my silly little brain is like "no you will Only stream and you will Only play Genshin Impact when you're not streaming" like HELLO. There are other things I can do, I SHOULD be doing. Streaming daily is bad for my health but when I'm not streaming its the only thing I'm thinking about and I'm halfway to AR 59 nearly 100%ing the whole Genshin map I do not need to play that game anymore.

And I've been (mostly) taking my meds again

If anyone has tips for making my brain focus on different things (especially important things like school & things i owe people) I would absolutely appreciate it.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I've currently fallen into the ADHD trap of being unable to do literally anything but one or two things. I have art to do! I have school to do! But my silly little brain is like "no you will Only stream and you will Only play Genshin Impact when you're not streaming" like HELLO. There are other things I can do, I SHOULD be doing. Streaming daily is bad for my health but when I'm not streaming its the only thing I'm thinking about and I'm halfway to AR 59 nearly 100%ing the whole Genshin map I do not need to play that game anymore.

And I've been (mostly) taking my meds again

If anyone has tips for making my brain focus on different things (especially important things like school & things i owe people) I would absolutely appreciate it.

the thing that helps me when I'm having trouble staying on task is to make a list of what I need to do on a small piece of paper or a sticky note, and put it somewhere where I will constantly see it (I tape it to my computer monitor since I often sit down at my desk). if it would help you, mark the more important/urgent tasks with a star or marker/highlighter so you know that those need to be done first.

another thing I like to do is pretend that my exec dysfunction brain is like a little kid: "if you get this piece of homework done you can have a piece of candy" or "if you practice piano for 1 hour you can play your game for a bit". that actually helped quite a bit in college. but I would advise not falling into the trap that I tended to fall into, where I would tell myself that I wasn't gonna eat anything until all my homework was done. you still need to take care of yourself.

 

[Kitsuragi]

growing up my councilors told me that i may have/had ADD (old term now?) and my mom never took me to a therapist or a doctor to talk more about it. now that i'm an adult and seeing a therapist regularly, i'm trying to get in touch with my therapist to see if ADHD is something i may have but she's being so avoidant on it. whenever i bring it up in our sessions she glosses over it and asks something else and in the past week i've messaged her twice asking if we could book a session and explore it, and she hasn't replied to either messages.

any idea on what to do? i don't want to self diagnose with ADHD. maybe my therapist doesn't think i have it and thats why she wont talk to me about it. idk.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

growing up my councilors told me that i may have/had ADD (old term now?) and my mom never took me to a therapist or a doctor to talk more about it. now that i'm an adult and seeing a therapist regularly, i'm trying to get in touch with my therapist to see if ADHD is something i may have but she's being so avoidant on it. whenever i bring it up in our sessions she glosses over it and asks something else and in the past week i've messaged her twice asking if we could book a session and explore it, and she hasn't replied to either messages.

any idea on what to do? i don't want to self diagnose with ADHD. maybe my therapist doesn't think i have it and thats why she wont talk to me about it. idk.

if you have a primary care doctor or psychiatrist you should bring it up to them. it's good to keep in mind that not all therapists are licensed to diagnose/treat ADHD and other things like that (my therapist can't so I have my primary care doctor do all that stuff with her notes).
if you really think you have it definitely don't ignore it, even if your therapist tries to ignore it.

 

[Kitsuragi]

if you have a primary care doctor or psychiatrist you should bring it up to them. it's good to keep in mind that not all therapists are licensed to diagnose/treat ADHD and other things like that (my therapist can't so I have my primary care doctor do all that stuff with her notes).
if you really think you have it definitely don't ignore it, even if your therapist tries to ignore it.

i do have a psych, but i have to get an appointment through my therapist which is the problem ;_; she keeps avoiding it which makes it so i cant get an appointment with the psychiatrist. i'll have to see if my pcp can do anything regarding it, i'm not sure if he'll just give me a referral or not. thank you!

 

[michealsmells]

the thing that helps me when I'm having trouble staying on task is to make a list of what I need to do on a small piece of paper or a sticky note, and put it somewhere where I will constantly see it (I tape it to my computer monitor since I often sit down at my desk). if it would help you, mark the more important/urgent tasks with a star or marker/highlighter so you know that those need to be done first.

another thing I like to do is pretend that my exec dysfunction brain is like a little kid: "if you get this piece of homework done you can have a piece of candy" or "if you practice piano for 1 hour you can play your game for a bit". that actually helped quite a bit in college. but I would advise not falling into the trap that I tended to fall into, where I would tell myself that I wasn't gonna eat anything until all my homework was done. you still need to take care of yourself.

the first tip doesn't actually help me all that often. trust me, I try.

HOWEVER- that second tip has worked well for me in the past and is something I really ought to stick to. Thank you for reminding me! Having a little treat or being allowed a game or activity is the perfect thing for my little brain to do when it doesn't want to do something. Now I have to figure out exactly whats a good, sustainable treat for me.

Post automatically merged: May 6, 2022

i do have a psych, but i have to get an appointment through my therapist which is the problem ;_; she keeps avoiding it which makes it so i cant get an appointment with the psychiatrist. i'll have to see if my pcp can do anything regarding it, i'm not sure if he'll just give me a referral or not. thank you!

I hope you can find out about this, that's rough! The idea that a therapist will just ignore their patient absolutely upsets me. Like... YOURE SUPPOSED TO HELP THEM! Regardless of what they're qualified to do they're supposed to give you the tools and outlets to be able to figure these things out. If able, I'd just be stubborn with her. And refuse to talk about anything else until she addresses the situation. Of course that's the bull-headed way so going through your pcp might be the best way to handle it.

my sibling has been having a very similar problem and only recently were they able to get assessed for ADHD... as in today or something like that. You just kinda have to be stubborn and work your way around the system, and do a lot of research yourself if they aren't gonna help you.

OH I SHOULD ALSO MENTION AS SOMEONE WITH ADHD- while a self diagnosis is usually a bad thing, a self prognosis of something like ADHD where medication isn't necessary and a lot of treatment is personal and through lifestyle changes & understanding of oneself (@ least in my opinion) is super important. Because even having the label of ADHD on a personal level lets you find things that help other people who have ADHD that may help you!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

the first tip doesn't actually help me all that often. trust me, I try.

HOWEVER- that second tip has worked well for me in the past and is something I really ought to stick to. Thank you for reminding me! Having a little treat or being allowed a game or activity is the perfect thing for my little brain to do when it doesn't want to do something. Now I have to figure out exactly whats a good, sustainable treat for me.

I just figured I'd throw a few ideas out there. I know not everything will work for everyone (in fact my situation is somewhat unique because I'm ADHD and autistic at the same time, so some things that work for me may not work for many/most ADHD people). glad to hear the second idea might work though! I personally like to use little candies like M&Ms, gummy bears, sweet tarts, or even peanuts/raisins. trail mix might be good to try as well.

another thing I would like to recommend is finding some kind of fidget toy to play with while you do your work, something that won't distract you but will keep your hands busy while you focus. I personally love using play-doh or anything with that kind of dough-y consistency. it's especially helpful if you need to read something for a class and you're having trouble staying on track.

 

[_Rainy_]

I've currently fallen into the ADHD trap of being unable to do literally anything but one or two things. I have art to do! I have school to do! But my silly little brain is like "no you will Only stream and you will Only play Genshin Impact when you're not streaming" like HELLO. There are other things I can do, I SHOULD be doing. Streaming daily is bad for my health but when I'm not streaming its the only thing I'm thinking about and I'm halfway to AR 59 nearly 100%ing the whole Genshin map I do not need to play that game anymore.

And I've been (mostly) taking my meds again

If anyone has tips for making my brain focus on different things (especially important things like school & things i owe people) I would absolutely appreciate it.

what works for me is to have a routine going. It's difficult at first to establish said routine, but it gets easier with time and consistency. for art its easy for me to get into once I've started, but with school thats a challenge, so I break it up into smaller time chunks. when I'm not on my meds my brain falls asleep. So I'll study for 25 minutes and then take a break and go do something active like cleaning to break the sleepiness. I feel you though it's difficult to break away when my mind has reached that place and doing anything else is just an irritation for me.