sleepydreepy
legendary egg
hell yeah dude
Is “Dude” gender neutral?
- Thread starter justina
- Start date
MiniPocketWorld
Senior Member
It's gender neutral to me along with guys and man and I use them in a gender neutral way too. However I know others don't feel the same. I think part of it is that often masculine words are sometimes used as the "default" or as gender neutral terms. We don't really have gender neutral terms beyond them, they, theirs, human, and person. It would be nice if we did though. I know many say that them, they, and theirs work but to me they often sound plural and thus awkward. Maybe it will feel different later after hearing used more often. One could make the same argument with man, dude, and guys being used in a gender neutral way if it wasn't heard of often in that context.
I feel like it depends on the context of its use, but I wouldn't use it as the "catch all" for gender neutral terms. There's a lot of contexts where it's "default" intended use and origin leans on being masculine, ie: why you likely won't see straight guys referring to a group of women they hooked up(romantically) with as "dudes" or "guys" like... ever.
I do also think there's a whole other conversation to be had about why we see "bro" and "dude" as open to neutrality but not the counterpart terms like "sis" or "gals" even. Overall though, I feel like the rule should be if someone doesn't wanna be called something, just don't be the type of person to be a contrarian.
I do also think there's a whole other conversation to be had about why we see "bro" and "dude" as open to neutrality but not the counterpart terms like "sis" or "gals" even. Overall though, I feel like the rule should be if someone doesn't wanna be called something, just don't be the type of person to be a contrarian.
“Dude” and “guys” has always made me feel uncomfortable for some reason. It’s cool that lots of people enjoy saying it and hearing it though.
I think in most cases those terms are meant to be gender neutral, but it never hurts to ask!
I think in most cases those terms are meant to be gender neutral, but it never hurts to ask!
Neutral.
I remember responding to a thread about this on another forum 18yrs ago. The consensus back then was that it is a neutral term, and that doesn't appear to have changed based on reading through the replies here.
I remember responding to a thread about this on another forum 18yrs ago. The consensus back then was that it is a neutral term, and that doesn't appear to have changed based on reading through the replies here.
Side note, but this ought to apply even if gender isn't the issue of contention. For example, many people use the word "buddy" innocuously, regardless of the person's gender. But in some locales, that sort of language sounds... rather rude. And in others, it comes across as a little too familiar, particularly when it's coming from someone you don't even really know. But I've known people who absolutely refuse to stop when you ask them to.
Anyway, buddies, that's all for today. I just had to get this sentiment off my chest, and as my chum of chums, I'm sure you will all understand. Since we're pals and all. Have a blessed day, compadres, and I hope we can still be brothers from another mother and sisters from another mister and etc. tomorrow as well. Buddy.
if you really want to use buddy both effectively and for evil, find the nearest pseudo-intellectual, or that friend you know that is scared of academia. try it, it's fun
as for dude, i would argue that it has never really been gender neutral. what dude DOES have is that some people (who ate radioactive material and became anthropomorphic turtles) also use it as something similar to an honorific, and that is when it is applied to anyone. but when someone says "this dude such and such" it's pretty clear those of us who present anywhere in the feminine spectrum ain't the mental image, so the offense comes not from someone using dude itself, but that you chose dude when it's most likely not what you would say to identify someone more obviously (in society's view) non-masculine
so like unless you just talk like a 90s surfer stereotype around your friends, there actually isn't a time you should be using it to address anyone in the adult world assuming you not only have respect for people, but your image. and darling your image is everything, and we all know we want control of how people see us, so offer the same power to everyone and be kind and
use their actual name. because i am an artiste and made mine myself and i'd hate to think someone reduced me to "that nondescript thingy with a flat chest i know i eat pizza and vape with" when i'm beauty on earth
tl;dr OP response: Not especially, no c:
as for dude, i would argue that it has never really been gender neutral. what dude DOES have is that some people (who ate radioactive material and became anthropomorphic turtles) also use it as something similar to an honorific, and that is when it is applied to anyone. but when someone says "this dude such and such" it's pretty clear those of us who present anywhere in the feminine spectrum ain't the mental image, so the offense comes not from someone using dude itself, but that you chose dude when it's most likely not what you would say to identify someone more obviously (in society's view) non-masculine
so like unless you just talk like a 90s surfer stereotype around your friends, there actually isn't a time you should be using it to address anyone in the adult world assuming you not only have respect for people, but your image. and darling your image is everything, and we all know we want control of how people see us, so offer the same power to everyone and be kind and
use their actual name. because i am an artiste and made mine myself and i'd hate to think someone reduced me to "that nondescript thingy with a flat chest i know i eat pizza and vape with" when i'm beauty on earth
tl;dr OP response: Not especially, no c:
Introspective Onlooker
In Search of a Coherent Worldview
I think it depends on the context. It might carry a sort of masculine connotation, but I notice it being used far more often in a general sense, rather than referring to males.
Best post I ever read on this site.
To be fair, I don't think gender is the issue with "darling" so much as familiarity. There are many people who use it casually even among platonic friends and strangers. But it's also historically been used as a term of endearment between lovers. So I suppose the issue with it is more akin to "buddy" where some people of certain dialects may use it in genuinely heartfelt attempts at being cordial, but it can have the unintended effect of making other people uncomfortable.
If there is a gender dynamic at play, it has less to do with who the word is directed toward and more so from whose mouth the word is coming. My female hairdresser calling me (another female) "darling" definitely has a different ring to it than a muscular, male construction worker. And of course, it's slightly uncommon to see a male using the word to refer to his male friends and acquaintances. But generally speaking, "darling" has historically been used to address both men and women, so it's a little different from "dude," where its neutrality is earmarked with an asterisk denoting that the default assumption is a male.
I agree with the primary point that "dude" has certain contexts in which it is used for gender-specific applications and that there is usually an unspoken assumption, even if unintended, that the person on the receiving end of it is a male. But I'm not sure if the supporting sentences entirely hold water. You're putting a lot of excess weight on media trends and regional stereotypes for a word that existed before those stereotypes were even a thing. The word "dude" also brings to mind the hippie movement of the 1960's, and is still widely in use in many areas of suburban America, not to mention the English punk scene, among other subcultures. So I don't think it's entirely fair to say that only stereotypes of California surf culture or Ninja Turtles fanatics would use it with a degree of gender neutrality.
And as a counterpoint to the idea that you wouldn't use it towards anyone you hold in any amount of high regard, the word "dude" may be bland and nondescript, but its place as a term of endearment also can not be understated. "This is my dude" or "That person is a cool dude." Language is an interesting thing, where words can either be generic or brimming with meaning depending on how it is said and to whom it is said. I don't think it's wrong for you to dislike the use of the word in relation to yourself. I've already expressed that I'm not terribly fond of it, either (though perhaps not for those specific reasons). But I think it would be wrong to say that it has no place in respectful conversation at all.
This begs the question: Are words like "dude" and "guy" gendered because their definitions refer to a male, or because the default assumption when talking to most people is that they will be men, simply because of the way conversation and culture work. That's a question I think will vary drastically among different types of people and linguistical contexts. If someone says "I knew a person who was born in Africa," the mental image in your head is going to vary based largely not just on your own predefined assumptions of people born in Africa, but also based on what knowledge you have of me and the type of people I normally associate with. If I extend the sentence to something like "I knew a person who was born in Africa who could lift an elephant," I'm going to assume most people would probably imagine a male, since we tend to associate physical fortitude with men. And anyone reading this sentence probably had a variety of different images in their head, because the act of playing with a hypothetical scenario in place of having the actual conversation also changes perceptions significantly; not to mention that it's colored by the fact that we're currently engaged in a discussion about gender and language.
I don't really have an opinion on that. I just thought it was interesting.
MiniPocketWorld
Senior Member
This. Absolutely.
This explains better to what I was thinking. Along with how often a person hears x used in x way.
Referring to a person, it has a distinct male quality, as an exclamation, it's... nothing? Like, when I say "god I wish I had a banana right now" I'm neither calling you a god, nor does it have anything to do with the concept of supernatural beings at all. In that context, I don't use the words towards people, so anything pertaining to identity doesn't even come into play.
Of course if someone is uncomfortable with it, I won't use it around them.
Of course if someone is uncomfortable with it, I won't use it around them.
I feel it's similar to "guys" where it can be gender neutral or male specific. Eg if I hear "some dude" or "there was a dude" I'd assume the person is male but just "hey dude" or "come on dude" would be gender neutral.
I don't use it though but if I did I'd probably be careful since not everyone is comfortable with it.
I don't use it though but if I did I'd probably be careful since not everyone is comfortable with it.
I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but Jeff Probst (the host of Survivor) used to say "Come on in guys!" to welcome the contestants into each challenge. Well they scrapped that. I thought that was totally unnecessary since I agree with others, it's all about the context and how it's used. "Guys" especially is almost always gender neutral.
I'm surprised that this show is still a thing. I searched it out of curiosity.
Guys is another word like dude that is gender neutral depending on how it is delivered. It's sort of like how when someone might say 'Oh man!' when they're speaking out about their frustrations/something unfortunate that just happened.
GreenTeaHarbor1297
Senior Member
It can be, but I wouldn't recommend it. I honestly don't even like it as a masculine-specific term, it just sounds kind of "gross" to me.
"Pal" is my favorite gender neutral term.
"Pal" is my favorite gender neutral term.
ConfusedDad
*writes cutely*
im one of those ppl who says "yas queen" to her guy friends so--
hell yeah
hell yeah
