no way, i like totally wasn't trying to sound mean if i phrased it that way! just for like future reference, esp if you're speaking to trans individuals that may not necessarily present themself as their gender identity in a way adhering more to the binary, it's better to not use that as a nargument. like i have trans friends here in college for example and one does not present as a woman in the "traditional" way, and so she gets approached with comments, from individuals that are coming from a place and willingness to understand, like "but you don't look like a girl though" and that really takes a toll on her because she doesn't do hormone treatments and doesn't see herself getting surgery anytime soon, if ever, so it's like a constant invalidation of her gender, even if people don't completely understand and aren't being inentionally malicious.
but yeah, i was definitely not trying to come at you in an aggressive way and i'm so so sorry if it sounded like that!