NIGHT SQUIRREL! Also, you mentioned a distaste for ferrets, and how they hide in the couch, WELL I had some friends when I was little who had a ferret(illegally, cause I live in California and everything fun is illegal) and they named him Fanny. He smelled horrible but was generally nice and hyper constantly, well one day they couldn't find him anywhere and figured he'd just come out when he was hungry, but turns out he had gotten under the couch cushion and someone sat on him and killed him. So poor little Fanny, died by his name, a fanny.