a⃨x⃨o⃨l⃨o⃨t⃨l⃨’⃨s⃨ j⃨o⃨u⃨r⃨n⃨a⃨l⃨ 🧸🌼🌈🌱

[Xara]

ahhhh i can’t believe i’m doing this but hello everyone! i’m xara, a tbt obsessed girl whose island rep has been walking around with a burning elmo on her clothes for almost a year now . since i founded the lovely island of axolotl back in march of 2020, i’ve never really let anyone actually see it. part of that is because i wanted to wait for my island to be 100% complete before sharing it with the world, but in all honesty, i think anxiety played a huge part in me making that decision, too; anxiety about having not done much landscaping, about other people’s opinions and the list goes on. my island is chaotic and may not even be halfway finished until 2025 but today, i am choosing to embrace that because as chaotic as it may be, i love my island and it deserves to be seen. i’m nervous about doing this, but it’s always a good day to start again so... here we go.
​

 

[Xara]

island introduction
villager logbook
xara’s yard
photo wall
sherb’s photo
want some chai?
xara’s basement
pietro’s photo
morning glory
freya’s photo
have you any sanrio wool?
long live elmo
toby’s photo
hello ... gorilla?
chai’s photo
marty moves in
celestial lounge
it’s a good day to start again
wedding season ii
just checking in
august recap
camp bell tree 2021
i’m back… again
island entrance woes
beau, my beloved
oct 27th, 2021
oct 28th - oct 30th, 2021
halloween 2021
paradise planning #1
hanging out with beau
2.0 photo dump
don’t frett
everybody loves raymond​

 

[Xara]

as the sun rises over the horizon on the 20th of march,
the aimless ghost becomes just a little less aimless,
for she finally begins to understand,
that it’s always a good day to start again.


“did you know that axolotls can generate new limbs?”

the question catches her off guard, the hollow girl who clutches at flower petals with ghostly fingertips, desperate to soak some of their liveliness into her skin.

it is just her and her boy, a beige deer with sleepy hooded eyes, her oldest friend. his hooves stretch out curiously, stroking every blade of grass that he can reach. he’s so gentle, he always has been, and maybe that’s why he never questions her.

why he allows her every failed attempt to start again.

maybe he’s finally realized that that isn’t working for them, though; for her. maybe the grass whispered to him her secrets, ones that have caused his hooves to still and his eyes to gleam with curiosity as he peers up at her from his spot by her side.

“no?”

he seems to expect this response. he also seems to expect her unspoken urge to flee, her fight or flight response desperate to protect her from whatever this conversation may bring. his hooves loosen their grip on the grass and wrap themselves around her instead, silently begging her to stay. she does, and he continues.

“yeah. they can regenerate practically every part of themselves, from their legs to even the third ventricle of their heart. it’s kind of neat, don’t you think?”

it is neat, though she has a feeling that his words have a deeper meaning, that he’s not just sharing a fun fact that one of his bug friends told him.

she knows she’s right when she can’t stop herself from asking, “what about their brain?”

no verbal answer comes. instead, his grip on her tightens slightly as he murmurs, “you’re going to be okay.”

she laughs, a humourless sound burdened by hurt feelings and unpleasant memories. her mind wanders, suddenly plagued by thoughts of a black kitty with vivacious green eyes, who’s fur sparkles in the rays of sunlight, her body warm and her expression full of love.

but then she’s gone, her once dulcet purr changing into a crackling choking sound, her green eyes now dull with panic.

“help me,” she begs.

i’m trying.

her mind wanders once more, this time to a corpse on a couch, a figure that would be so unrecognizable if it weren’t for the cries coming from her mouth.

mom.

or at least, what’s left of her.

she watches silently as paramedics surround her, taking her blood pressure and rattling her untouched prescription bottles around in their hands. questions drip from their tongues fluently, but never the one that they really want to ask.

why’d you let it get this bad?

they’re dying to know. she’s too busy dying to answer.

she’s snapped back to reality by a hoof gently slapping the side of her face. her eyes reopen and her gaze is met by the face of her old friend. beau.

she’s quick to notice that the curiosity in his eyes has been replaced by the dullness of concern, and she kicks herself for worrying him. he seems to sense this, so he shoots her what he hopes is a comforting smile, happy to have her back.

but she’s not. not really. after all, she’s still a hollow girl with ghost fingertips.

as if no time has passed at all, he repeats himself, firmer this time, “you’re going to be okay.”

she wants to argue with him, to tell him that he’s wrong, to question if he remembers her very first depressive episode; one that was exhilarated by him leaving. but she doesn’t, for her prolonged silence has the concern creeping back into his eyes and she knows that he feels bad enough as is.

her mind wanders again, only this time she’s surprised by the thoughts that greet her. she thinks of all the friends that she’s made, the memories that slowly breathe life back into her. she thinks of her old friend and how he plans to stay this time. she won’t be alone. not ever again.

axolotls can regenerate new limbs.

perhaps she’ll one day be regenerated, too.

with a seed of hope slowly beginning to blossom in her lungs, she finally replies, “i know.”

 

[Foreverfox]

I will definitely visit your dream address, but I am so happy you decided to share your beautiful island!! I also love your island journal heading icons!

 

[Xara]

current residents

former residents

​

 

[Xara]

a few months ago, back when 2020 was beginning to slip away and 2021 was eagerly waiting to take its place, the inevitable “what are your new year resolutions?” threads began piling in. every december has had me making a list of resolutions but even with my yearly “i’ll kick your ass if you don’t do this” pep-talks, i have yet to complete a single one. that wasn’t enough to deter me from making this year’s list, though . one of my resolutions was to finish an area on my island and truthfully,, i had no faith in myself at all. with my track record of abandoning goals and my belief that nothing i create will ever be good enough, i was confident that this would be yet another trashed resolution of mine until suddenly, it wasn’t.

maybe it was the boredom from pulling all-nighters or maybe even because of the design slot increase but for the first time since i’ve started my journey with ac, it was as if a switch had flipped. i eagerly searched for designs and spent my nights decorating, sometimes even going at it for hours - it took some trial and error + several reminders to not work on multiple things at once but i am so proud to say that as of yesterday, i officially have my very first completed area - my yard!! i’d be lying if i said that trying to figure out what i wanted wasn’t a pain in the ass but i honestly couldn’t be happier with the end result and looking back, it’s crazy to see just how bare it had once been compared to how lively it is now. :’o

before
attempt #1: vapourwave

attempt #2: rustic + a bit of country¿

attempt #3: winter

attempt #4: the idea that would finally stick

after

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[Xara]

collecting villager photos has always been one of my absolute favourite things to do in animal crossing - despite initially thinking that a villager choosing their photo to be the ultimate symbol of your friendship with them was a bit odd and, dare i say, self-obsessive, i can’t explain just how big my smile is whenever i receive a new one. in new leaf, i managed to obtain every single photo (including the npc ones) through trading and while i was incredibly proud of having that collection, that isn’t a goal for me this time around. i’ve been playing new horizons since launch, logging in over 1,445 hours and have since obtained 35 photos! a few of them were ones that i had to purchase + one was gifted to me by my dear friend @Dunquixote and while my current collection may be small, i’m still proud of it and am excited for it to expand over time! i’m certainly not looking to own every single photo this time around but instead, i’d like to earn enough to cover all 4 walls in my main room; i’ve still got 3 walls to fill but i’m not in any rush. ☺ p.s. in case anyone notices that only 29 photos are visible (there’s one under merry’s in case you missed it) the other 6 are outside in front of villager houses. :’p

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[Xara]

to be honest with you guys, i’ve spent the majority of the last 96 hours unconscious; not really sure as to why i’m so tired all of a sudden, but it seems that my depression has decided to sucker punch me which is,, unfortunate since i have to go and pay my taxes in a few days + my sanrio cards finally arrived. you don’t have to worry, though; i’ll be okay! just have to ride this out and then i’ll be back to being sexy . but on a plus note!! after taking a bit of an hiatus, i finally booted my game up today to begin getting caught up! i’m proud of myself for doing that but that’s nothing compared to the pride and happiness i felt when sherb finally gifted me his photo! his will be the 36th that i add to my collection and while i still hate just how inactive i’ve been + how foggy my mind is (writing this took forever LOL), sherb reminded me today that no matter how bad things may get, there’s always potential for something good to happen, too. prior to having him, i honestly didn’t really care for sherb all that much, but i’m so very grateful to have had this chance to get to know him as he’s brought me so much happiness during his stay on my island. from providing me with new dialogue that i hadn’t yet heard to just being an overall sweetheart, sherb never fails to make me smile and i’m very blessed to have earned his photo. ☁

​

 

[Xara]

my sanrio cards finally arrived in the mail last week! this was my first time ordering from etsy + ordering amiibo cards in general, so i was a bit anxious about the whole thing, especially since my order came without a tracking number but thankfully, not only did my cards arrive sooner than expected, they came with zero complications and i’m quite happy with how everything went! even though i’ve had them for a few days now, i didn’t get around to actually scanning the cards until wednesday and for my first time, it was an exciting experience! my priority was to unlock the furniture (which i’m happy to order for anyone who needs it!) but once that was over with, it was time to choose which villager i’d invite to live on my island first which was,, unsurprisingly difficult . of course, i’d given it plenty of thought since placing my order but since i was still struggling to make a decision, i did the only thing left that i could think of ... closed my eyes and left it up to “eeny, meeny, miny, moe” . was certainly a silly way to make a decision but i finally knew who my new neighbour would be...

chai!

invite #1

invite #2

invite #3

and finally...

she’s here!

she’ll be taking the place of sherb (not even a week after i made a post gushing about him ) and while i’m sad to see him go, i’m super excited to get to know chai! ​

 

[Xara]

three months ago, if someone were to ask me “hey, how are you going to decorate your basement?” my answer would be, without any hesitation, “i have no idea.” interior design is one of my favourite things to do in animal crossing but for the longest time, i just could not figure out what to do with my basement. i came up with a few potential ideas, from a dedication to creepypasta rituals (bloody mary, one-man hide and seek, etc) to a room inspired by my island (loads of peach furniture, posters of my first 10 villagers, etc) but none of them stuck. however, my dilemma came to an end during my last outburst of creativity and my basement is finally complete! now, if someone were to ask me “what’s your basement’s theme?” my answer would be “i have no idea” but regardless, i’m still pleased with it. :’)

​

 

[Xara]

​

Al, Pietro, Canberra, Rocket, Quillson and there's more, I just can't think of their names right now *sigh*

But out of those 5, I definitely hate Al and Pietro the most​

Pietro. *cringe*

this,, did not age well LMAO. i genuinely have no idea as to why i hated pietro for so long, but i’m so glad that i decided to give him a chance as honestly, he’s a pretty cool dude! while he may not be a permanent villager of mine, i’m truly so happy that i got to know him and am delighted to add his photo to my collection. ❤

​

 

[Xara]

my goal to invite and befriend all 6 sanrio villagers is definitely going to be a slow process, but so far so good! yesterday was toby’s first day on the island and while i have been,, quite vocal about my disdain for smug villagers, i actually already really enjoy having him around, and am so thankful that i’m able to get to know him and the other sanrio villagers after not being able to in new leaf. ☘

invite #1

invite #2

invite #3

toby when he sees the literal stockpile of critters next to his house:

he’s here!

fun fact; my order actually came with a free toby sticker which was,, unexpected but very nice! :’’’)
​

 

[Xara]

freya finally gifted me her photo a few days ago and i’m over the moon about it! she’s definitely one of the more stubborn villagers that i’ve had thus far, but i don’t really mind since it gave us more time together. :’’) i actually considered having her become a permanent villager for a while, but even though i’ve ultimately decided on letting her go, she’s been absolutely incredible to have around and i love her a lot.

fun fact; i’ve officially had all 3 snooty wolves on my island at one point.
​

 

[Xara]

​

i recently welcomed étoile to the island (and by recently i mean,, around 2am today LOL) and i can absolutely see what all the hype is about now! she’s so, so precious and i may or may not be in love with her exterior :’’). zjksms but fr, i’m very excited to have her and can already tell that i’m gonna like having her around.

invite #1

invite #2

invite #3

she’s here!

​

 

[Xara]

​

trying to come up with a title for this was harder than it probably should’ve been . LOL anyways. over the chaos that has been the past year, you may have seen my island rep once or twice; maybe through a trade, or maybe even when she was up on the forums’ banner during the last tbt fair. but since i’m pretty much everywhere, you’re guaranteed to of seen her at least once. if you have, you likely noticed the burning elmo on her dress since well,, he’s kind of hard to miss lol. i came across the design last year on tiktok and for some reason, my monkey brain immediately went when i saw it lmao. my appearance has been one hell of a ride and while it’s one of the most iconic things i’ve done thus far imo, i’ve really been craving something new. truthfully, i was a bit scared to ditch elmo as 1) i really like the attention that i got because of him and because he made me memorable in a way, and 2), i had no idea what i wanted to wear next. tbtwc has given me the push that i needed, though and after a bit of trial and error, i’ve finally found a look that i love.

​

 

[Xara]

y’know, i thought that my next villager photo would come from either chai or chèvre, but toby really came out of left field the other day . i’m definitely not complaining, though!

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[Xara]

i have been uh. very vocal about my disdain for the gorillas lol, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that when it came to my sanrio cards, rilla’s wasn’t one that i ever planned on using. @WhitBit changed that, though! back in march, she posted a thread on how she’d be giving rilla a chance, and even shared some cute photos of her. at first i was apprehensive, but i was quickly inspired to give rilla a chance as well and so, over two months later, here we are :’). she’s only been on my island for a few days so far, but it’s been neat having her around, and i’m glad that i decided to give her a chance. ❤

​

 

[Xara]

chai finally gave me her photo, bringing my photo collection to 42! 2 sanrio photos down, 4 more to go. ☺

​

 

[Xara]

back when i first started my challenge to invite and befriend all 6 sanrio villagers, i mentioned that i didn’t have plans to invite them in any particular order and would instead invite whoever i wanted whenever i could. ... well, uh,, i kind of lied about that LOL. with the first four, i didn’t care about which order i invited them in but i did make plans to invite marty and chelsea last, as i had a funny feeling that at least one of them would become permanent and well. i’ve only had marty for about two days at this point and i’ve already proven myself right :’). now, i may be a bit biased since i love the lazy villagers but bro?? he makes all of the crap that happened on march 26th worth it.

also i may have gone a bit feral with editing today LOL.​

 

[Xara]

ya’ll have no idea how happy i am to finally be posting something that isn’t about a villager moving in or giving me their photo . anyways lol, i finally finished my celestial lounge area about a week ago and i’m honestly quite pleased with how it turned out! it took probably longer than it should've for me to figure out what i wanted it to even look like, but after combining the few ideas that i already had and the ideas that i had for a stargazing area, this is what i came up with! it’s a bit of an eyesore atm since it’s more decorated than the rest of the area around it lol, but i’m still proud of it.

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