Am I the only one to notice that social media isn't very social?

[KnoxUK]

I'm posting this here to kind of get it off my chest. But this is a interesting topic to talk about.

Don't get me wrong I can talk to people through messages, but that doesn't compare to actually talking to them especially in person. A lot of People online just post things for attention and don't really want to chat or engage in topics with people. It creates a weird structure where people really want validation yet act superior to others, but also want to be associated with others whom they perceive to be better off. Nothing about it seems authentic or honest. No wonder why people are so insecure.

What do you guys think about this topic?

 

[Dunquixote]

I agree with you. I notice when a VA replies to me, people like her comment more than mine and none try to engage with me if it is something that is worth discussing. I have tried to engage in conversation but often I get ignored or if there is a downvote button, downvoted (on reddit especially). I’ve stop attending streams because when I try to converse with people, they ignore me and they all are too busy trying to get the VA’s attention and so I feel like I don’t belong there lol. I do like when VAs reply or like my stuff, but I try to not go crazy with tagging them like I see some people or bots (like i have seen three accounts make identical posts tagging Richard Epcar, a voice actor I follow every couple of weeks).

 

[0ni]

Other than this forum, and occasionally Discord, I don't use a lot of social media. I guess I sort of use twitter? but mostly to see what's trending as it's a quick way of staying in the loop with various things. I never tweet, and I don't read my timeline to see what the people I follow are saying either.

I never really enjoyed facebook, I find it hard to engage with people on their posts and it never really feels like i'm having a conversation with someone. I only use Facebook Messenger now in order to keep in touch with my closest friends. I know people who keep their social media active just so they can 'stalk' people and be nosy lmao. I never understood that? People could be getting up to all sorts and i'd never know lol I just keep off social media in general and nothing has tempted me back.

I tried using Instagram for a while for posting my drawings, but it felt like shouting into the void. I like to engage with folks and other artists, and instagram is just so... impersonal? People like stuff and then move on and I never really understood the value in that.

 

[Croconaw]

I truly feel like we seek out validation on social media. We post pictures for attention, and for what reason? I think we need to stop seeking out validation from others and just be accepting of ourselves. Online can be a nice place. You don’t get judged as much, but it’s difficult to form friendships. It seems people aren’t on social media to make friends. They use it to show off vacation pictures or pictures of themselves. They basically fish for compliments.

 

[nightglow]

I like how one person described it once. People like to shout into the big void of social media because they feel like they are being heard. Another thing in a similar manner, is if someone makes a post and you comment to talk about the topic they posted about and the poster isn't interested in engaging in conversation or discussion about said topic and it's like, then why did you bother posting in the first place if your just going to get mad about people commenting on it. Like I have seen people block like 5 people because they commented on their post one day... They weren't mean or disrespectful or anything of that nature.
But I also think that people tend to hop on there for life comparisons through pictures. You know, selfies and pictures with friends or going places. Like all that stuff is good and all, but pictures are just pictures and not a large perception of a life someone has or yourself.
I also feel like alot of social media is just a place to see what people are up to rather than actually talking to people. Like I have friends on social media who just don't talk to me but insist on being Facebook friends (which I am ok with I guess but wonder why).
I don't want to say that social media is a negative thing, but it absolutely has its negatives while having positives.

 

[Breath Mint]

Social media is like talking to yourself in a room full of people. Twitter and Facebook are especially like that

 

[demoness]

hey we narcissists need a hobby too

 

[sleepydreepy]

yeah I feel like instagram and snap chat solely exists for people to say "look at the cool life I am living." I guess it helps you "get in touch" with friends by seeing what they are up to lately, but its all so poised and carefully edited that it doesn't feel very genuine. Not trying to say that this is a always bad thing- I enjoy making my instagram look aesthetically pleasing and view it as my personal collage/scrapbook. however this still supports the point that I use social media mainly for myself rather than using it as a way to connect with friends. like OP said its just not very "social" and people post stuff for validation, attention, or personal reasons.

also I dont have twitter or Facebook so my perspective of social media is from instagram and snapchat only

 

[VanitasFan26]

Social Media is toxic and the reason why is because you think you become friends with someone because they share your same common interests but later they forget about you and act like you never existed. Since the beginning Social Media has become this negative spot where people crave for attention by posting a lot of things that get them views or likes. Mostly it just makes people feel bad about themselves because they are "not as good" as the popular people on Instagram, YouTube or Snapchat.

I am just going to say this being famous is overrated. Once you get that fame it can really start to change you as a person. All the people who used to follow you will suddenly forget about you and now you feel like putting pressure on yourself because you are not "trying hard enough" to get people interested. This not only damages your mental health but it can have a very negative effect on how you speak to people in real life.

My therapist told me that Social Media has become this norm where people are always trying to find others who might share the same common interests as you but at the end of the day you may not know who they are because they are just a username with an icon so you don't really talk to them like you would in real life. Its strange to say, because in real life we are usually very shy around people and it takes time to introduce ourselves. but the moment we talk to random strangers online it can at first be really comfortable, but realize this there are people out there who don't claim who they really are and people fall for a lot of fake people.

Its hard to find real actual people who actually acts like a normal being and not someone who is pretending to be nice or is looking for some type of attention out of people just to get famous. Social Media is in a very messed up place right now and its becoming an addiction where people spend too much time on it rather than focusing on their mental well being. I am guilty of this too and I remember just putting down my phone and not bothering with social media. It does make me feel much better since it was stressing me out so much.

 

[Olly7]

I think using sites like Twitter and Instagram as a general thing lead to that unsocial feeling, because you're just reading and posting about anything and everything, so you because a lone voice in a sea of millions.

Being more specific in why you and how you use it is probably a better way to lead to more interaction. Say using Twitter to talk about more specific things withing your hobbies and interests, so even if you're audience is smaller, you become a bigger voice in that smaller audience. Kinda like going to a book store to find people to talk to about books has more of a purpose and would likely more success than going to a huge mall to try and find someone to talk about anything and everything.

 

[Midoriya]

Wouldn’t know as I‘ve never used social media other than this forum, Discord, MAL, and a job site, and don’t plan on using it. I can see why people think it’s not social at all though.

 

[King koopa]

Despite being gen-z and moat teens my age are on social media like Twitter and Facebook, I don't really use social media that much minus this site (even then I'm not even sure it's social media), discord, and rarely Twitter. Now, you might say it's wierd for a teen not to use social media but I got my reasons, and other people do too. I agree that it's wierd just to use social media for attention. Like, yeah you posted a meme, but that's not really social. Social would be you start a conversation with someone about the meme. Plus, it's just full of toxic, racist people who make fun of others with disabilities, and disorders and etc. That's why I avoid it because that's just wrong to do! Why would you make fun of someone who isn't normal just for attention like that? That's just wrong, offensive, and just basically cyber bullying. Plus some people who become famous for doing that forget who they are and start to think that you HAVE to bully people to get attention otherwise no one will like you. That's also wrong because you should just be yourself. Don't do stuff just because people will like you for it, do stuff because you yourself as a person wants to.

Sorry for the long post, it's just things like this make me have really deep thoughts to get my point across

 

[VanitasFan26]

Despite being gen-z and moat teens my age are on social media like Twitter and Facebook, I don't really use social media that much minus this site (even then I'm not even sure it's social media), discord, and rarely Twitter. Now, you might say it's wierd for a teen not to use social media but I got my reasons, and other people do too. I agree that it's wierd just to use social media for attention. Like, yeah you posted a meme, but that's not really social. Social would be you start a conversation with someone about the meme. Plus, it's just full of toxic, racist people who make fun of others with disabilities, and disorders and etc. That's why I avoid it because that's just wrong to do! Why would you make fun of someone who isn't normal just for attention like that? That's just wrong, offensive, and just basically cyber bullying. Plus some people who become famous for doing that forget who they are and start to think that you HAVE to bully people to get attention otherwise no one will like you. That's also wrong because you should just be yourself. Don't do stuff just because people will like you for it, do stuff because you yourself as a person wants to.

Sorry for the long post, it's just things like this make me have really deep thoughts to get my point across

The 2000s and 2010s had a lot of dark humor and at the time people found that funny so they used that sort of humor on social media to get a lot of attention and people found it funny. Nowadays that sorta humor is not acceptable and considering how I've been seeing this so called "Cancel Culture" that has been going on Twitter people are going after famous people of their past to bring it up to make them look bad. Its gotten so much worse. Even on YouTube I see people making videos calling out others and they keep getting a lot of views. Its just messed up.

 

[King koopa]

The 2000s and 2010s had a lot of dark humor and at the time people found that funny so they used that sort of humor on social media to get a lot of attention and people found it funny. Nowadays that sorta humor is not acceptable and considering how I've been seeing this so called "Cancel Culture" that has been going on Twitter people are going after famous people of their past to bring it up to make them look bad. Its gotten so much worse. Even on YouTube I see people making videos calling out others and they keep getting a lot of views. Its just messed up.

That's actually a good thing. Even though those people don't do that anymore, it's good that the community is standing up to those people and bringing up what they said years ago so they can think about what they said

 

[VanitasFan26]

That's actually a good thing. Even though those people don't do that anymore, it's good that the community is standing up to those people and bringing up what they said years ago so they can think about what they said

That maybe so, but keep in mind it can be used in a wrong way. While it is true that there are people out there who have done messed up stuff and they try to keep quiet about it, Cancel Culture has been used in a wrong way where someone can spread false rumors about someone, many people believe it, and they start hating or harassing the person that is being targeted.

The topics they talk about is well lets just say its pretty serious that I won't mentioned it but I've seen it a lot recently and its the most common thing people use to do this so called "De Platform" when they want someone gone from the Internet for good. Now don't get me wrong there is some bad people on the internet that do need to take accountability for their actions, but when there are people going after others for saying or doing simple things at the time that they thought was funny and over the years they have changed.

When they get called out they have to apologize a lot of times but then people still hate them because "Its not enough" and they still get hate. Its a messed up thing that has been going on for the past few years and its been talked about all over the media even in the mainstream media as well. It is a polarizing topic and there some good things about it, but when used in the wrong way it can cause a lot of damage mentally.

 

[CrankyCupcake]

Because I grew up without social media (pagers were not even heard of back then), it fascinates me that social media is a thing now. That we can post our thoughts and whatever else we want online and, potentially, anyone and everyone can see it and react to it.

I understand the reasons behind the argument that social media is often a toxic place where meaningful relationships are difficult to create and maintain, but I also believe that this can be said for other social circles in the larger society, in schools, clubs, workplaces, etc. People are just being people. In any social group, there are people who are fantastic to be around and there are people one would rather avoid. I don't think there is any one person who gets along with every other single person. It's just that social media has made it more convenient for everyone to give their two cents' worth; it is as convenient for the person who has something constructive and inspiring to say as it is for the person who seeks only attention for himself.

Personally, I see social media as tools that can be useful. If you have a purpose for possessing a tool and knowing how to best use it, it will work to your advantage. You will get something out of it. I mostly lurk on Reddit and Twitch. I've learned a lot from lurking, so I don't regret the time spent. Back in the 90s, I've met different groups of people in real life after meeting them in newsgroups because we shared the same hobbies. These relationships endured for a while but, eventually, we grew apart because, in our own lives, we grew in different directions and the hobby that had brought us together had to take a backseat to more pressing, real-life concerns.

Social media can be an exciting experience. It's really up to us to tamper our own expectations. Avoid the drama. Be around people who have similar values as yourself. Even when I'm enjoying myself online, I have to keep reminding myself that it's just the nature of social media to present itself as being something bigger and more important than it really is. Hype is just a big pretty bubble. Real life isn't. If being on social media starts intruding on my life, if my mood is affected by something I've seen or read, then I tell myself it's time to switch it off and have fun with a hobby.

I'm sorry for the wall of text.

 

[Licorice]

I miss the early 2000s myspace era. It felt like the wild west.

 

[KnoxUK]

I agree with you. I notice when a VA replies to me, people like her comment more than mine and none try to engage with me if it is something that is worth discussing. I have tried to engage in conversation but often I get ignored or if there is a downvote button, downvoted (on reddit especially). I’ve stop attending streams because when I try to converse with people, they ignore me and they all are too busy trying to get the VA’s attention and so I feel like I don’t belong there lol. I do like when VAs reply or like my stuff, but I try to not go crazy with tagging them like I see some people or bots (like i have seen three accounts make identical posts tagging Richard Epcar, a voice actor I follow every couple of weeks).

What's a VA? my knowledge about media is not so great what do you talk about with them? I'm a bit lost on what to do at the moment so I started playing smash bros again, trying to main robbin but I'm getting demolished online. I can't wait for the next character they'll announce soon.

 

[KnoxUK]

Other than this forum, and occasionally Discord, I don't use a lot of social media. I guess I sort of use twitter? but mostly to see what's trending as it's a quick way of staying in the loop with various things. I never tweet, and I don't read my timeline to see what the people I follow are saying either.

I never really enjoyed facebook, I find it hard to engage with people on their posts and it never really feels like i'm having a conversation with someone. I only use Facebook Messenger now in order to keep in touch with my closest friends. I know people who keep their social media active just so they can 'stalk' people and be nosy lmao. I never understood that? People could be getting up to all sorts and i'd never know lol I just keep off social media in general and nothing has tempted me back.

I tried using Instagram for a while for posting my drawings, but it felt like shouting into the void. I like to engage with folks and other artists, and instagram is just so... impersonal? People like stuff and then move on and I never really understood the value in that.

I've not tried instagram out, but Facebook is bizarre, you can talk to somebody in public and really get on well but then when you talk to them on Facebook it's like they're the complete polar opposite and bluntly rude, it's like bruh

Post automatically merged: Jun 5, 2021

I truly feel like we seek out validation on social media. We post pictures for attention, and for what reason? I think we need to stop seeking out validation from others and just be accepting of ourselves. Online can be a nice place. You don’t get judged as much, but it’s difficult to form friendships. It seems people aren’t on social media to make friends. They use it to show off vacation pictures or pictures of themselves. They basically fish for compliments.

I swear it must be a mental illness or something with people, like I can post a picture making a joke out of myself for the giggles. You know completely over the top with vanity. But I don't take myself seriously nor do I do it for likes, just boredom. Some people though are not joking and they take themselves way to seriously. Chasing validation and judging you based on your pictures, it's like oh my. I think it consists more in girls. But you could completely destroy their ego by mocking them a little. It's like that saying don't throw pebbles from a glass house.

 

[Dunquixote]

What's a VA? my knowledge about media is not so great what do you talk about with them? I'm a bit lost on what to do at the moment so I started playing smash bros again, trying to main robbin but I'm getting demolished online. I can't wait for the next character they'll announce soon.

A VA is a voice actor, someone who voices over characters in anime, cartoons or games. You can comment on their tweets and sometimes they’ll reply.