You could try drinking hot tea whenever you have your attacks. Hot drinks always help me whenever my head hurts and some teas are supposed to be relaxing.
I've said this before, but you can try exercising instead of cutting. Muscle pain is still pain and exercises boost the production of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, which helps to balance mood (while a lack of it can lead to depression).
I actually am in aerobics as one of my classes and I find myself distracted when I'm exercising which helps. But I have lunch directly afterwards and I always seem to have my attacks at lunchtime.
Perhaps you should try the Prozac again? I also had the same problem, and after years of fighting it and refusing to take my meds, i decided to really give my Prozac a try, and it has helped me. I don't like having to take the drugs to function but in the end, it is monumetally helpful and it allows me to be a functioning adult.
I was actually taking my prozac for awhile and decided I didn't like it due to how sleepy and nauseous it made me. Up until recently I had problems swallowing pills as well, turns out my esophagus is actually smaller than average in girth. Which explains why I constantly choke on my food. Oops.
I'm very sorry you're going through what you are right now. I struggle with bad depression and anxiety myself. I can't say I know how you feel as I am not you, but I can understand some of what you're going through. About 1-2 years ago, I was having severe anxiety attacks every day for months. They really suck to deal with as I was just anxious and aching all the time- and it made me even more suicidal and depressed the longer it went on. However, I've gotten a lot better since then, and I believe you can too!
I recommend getting adult coloring books & coloring them with colored pencils or whatever you prefer to use. Coloring in all the lines and shapes is very relaxing- plus they usually aren't that expensive. I have lots of those books & I've been coloring them quite a lot and I find them helpful! Especially the smaller books if you can find some, so you can carry them around wherever you go.
You should also practice some breathing techniques especially if the anxiety messes with your breathing. You could probably find a lot of different ones online, and they are really effective when trying to calm yourself down.
Also, I recommend telling your parents when you feel comfortable. They are your parents & they will most likely react badly, because who wants to know that their child is going through something like this? When you get comfortable enough to confront them about it, maybe tell whoever you're more comfortable talking to first, & then you, the first one you told, or both can tell the other one. Try not to confront them about it when they are in a bad mood as they'd be more likely to snap though. I hope it goes well for you.
That's all I've got though, since I'm not a professional lol.. but good luck with it! I'm sure you'll progress in no time.
Thank you
I'm glad you're doing better and I hope to as well, when my current scars heal and stop being so noticeable, I'll ask my mom to take me to the doctor. When I first started self harm in the first place, I had showed my dad before he left for work at like 5 AM. He reacted very horribly and made me feel worse about myself. That's when my mom also found out and it just turned into a big mess. Im thinking of just telling my mom I'm going to the doctor for epiduo refills or something and then when I have my private session with her (doctor) I'll tell her.
I recommend you see a doctor and get back on antidepressants! In higher doses they're really effective for anxiety. I also have MDD and I used to have daily episodes of crying/shaking/not breathing exactly like you're describing and often without obvious triggers too. Once I got up to my current dose of meds they just completely went away. The other depressive symptoms such as self-harming and suicidal ideation took much longer to start seeing a difference in but it's so worth it. I know it's not an option for everyone but I took some time off of school while I was recovering which really helped me to focus on my health and lower my stress levels while I was very unwell.
I'm always available to talk to if you need someone, I know exactly what you're going through <3
Thank you very much
I'm working on communication skills more so with the people around me. Ive made lots of mistakes telling the wrong people the wrong things, so I'm narrowing down my friend group a lot in real life and sticking with the people who I can trust with not telling school administration or whatever about my self harm because I don't want my parents finding out that way...again.
i always use deep breathing techniques whenever i feel anxious. take one deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, breathe back out, then repeat as needed. also, listening to calming music helps me too (this song is my favorite 
)
i have anxiety as well, and it can get preeeeeetty bad sometimes, but i can't really say what you should do for anxiety/panic attacks specifically, as i don't experience those. i'm sorry you're going through this, and i sincerely hope you find the help you need! i'm available to talk if you need a friend.
Thank you v much. I found this thing on Instagram where its like a big triangle collapsing and rebuilding into a bunch of shapes that like I breathe in sync with and it helps me a lot.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I can imagine it must be awful. I would honestly talk to your family and doctor again. It seems like Prozac may not be for you but once you talk to them, you may be prescribed something else to help. I've heard from a lot of people you have to keep trying new medicine until you find one that works best for you.
I recommend coloring as well! It's really relaxing. Like others said, breathing exercises may be beneficial as well. Maybe give yoga a try? A lot of them include breathing exercises and I'm sure you could find something on youtube or your local library. Maybe play some Animal Crossing as well? I personally find it so helpful on putting me into a better relaxed mood. I deal with a lot of stress so it helps unwind. Don't be afraid to reward yourself, even if it's for the smallest things. They make a big difference. For every day of not self harming, maybe treat yourself with some ice cream. Either way, talking to a professional can assist better with this. I wish you the best of luck! You are very strong so don't give up.
I actually have quite a few of the adult coloring books but I never seem to have time for them. I would play animal crossing but my cat actually ate my charger (oops) so I'm awaiting to get money to buy a new one
Thank you so much!
idk exactly what u mean by saying u started self harming a bit more severely, but if it is dangerous you need to reach out. so if it doesnt stop bleeding, is very deep, gets infected etc you need to go to a doctor. and going to the er because of self hamr isnt the nicestway of having your parnets find out tbh
as for your anxiety, i know you want to handle it yourself because you don't want to tell your parents. honestly i can say i was in the same position last year, i didn't actually tell them either. they found out when my mom accidentally saw my thighs, and then she made me go to a therapist.
but i think that the best way for you to actually get better is to see a therapist. getting help is really important. and maybe you do need medication, just to make the anxiety more manageable. (tho anxiety meds dont rly work in my wxperience, but hey u might bb different)
but atm some ways of dealing with it on your own would be to find coping mechanisms. self harming is one of them, but it's not a good one.
for me i have snall dustractions that make it easier to cope with anxiety, like playing an easy game, taking a shower, focusing on something else like a youtube video etc. when i have bad anxiety i cant do a lot, and these things don't really help a lot (mostly i just end up suffering through it, which sucks a Lot) but they are ways to try to make the anxiety less bad lol idk
so basically !!! get some coping skills !! and pls work on telling someone, because it is really hard to help urself and u deserve o get hdlp !!
By more severely, I mean worse than I was before. When I was doing it before, they were basically cat scratches and they never even scarred. I'm not cutting deep or anything that doesn't stop bleeding. The ones I'm doing will basically only scar faintly I guess. They are not bad at all. I'm actually very good about the not getting infected thing. My mom is a nurse and I really take care into making sure what I use is thoroughly sterilized, so definitely not pencil sharpeners! I actually have a lot of problems with therapists and they make me extremely uncomfortable, more so than doctors. I don't know why, I have just always felt that way. I listen to music a lot and I've been sleeping a lot more too (a clear sign of depression, but my attacks drain my energy a lot, not to mention high school). Thank you for your concernment!
You know I'm going to suggest going back on the antidepressants. Maybe the Prozac didn't work for you? Sometimes you need to change them a few times to get the right tablets and dose, I'm on one type now which have finally started to help me. I'm also having some therapy, which doesn't work for everybody but I'm giving it another shot. This is also something you should be asking your doctor for.
I understand the worry of your parents knowing you self harm. But really as I'm assuming you're quite young, it is necessary that they know about this. It's not uncommon to end up with a bad infection from cutting (if you are cutting and not doing anything else?). Not trying to scare you or anything but I don't think from what you've said that you want to kill yourself. You're struggling with your anxiety and you need help to get you past this stage.
It's going to sound childish but my therapist suggested it to me last week, have you tried using adult colouring books? They can be really therapeutic. It might help to make a list of your hobbies and interests, things to distract you so you don't self harm as a means of letting out your frustrations. I was in hospital a couple of weeks ago for almost a month for something unrelated to this and I found it helped me greatly to read a book or go for a walk around the place (I was in isolation so I shouldn't have done really
). I also have a good friend who I spent my days chatting with on and off about anything at all. Anything to distract me from what was going on, otherwise I would have really suffered with my low moods.
Best of luck to you. Feel free to pm me anytime if you do want to chat. I'm on here a lot
I have adult coloring books, but I never seem to have the time for them. I definitely do not want to kill myself. As I stated earlier, I'm very good about not getting infections and I make sure I sterilize everything I use because an infection is the last thing I need. I'll probably ask for a doctor appointment in 3-4 weeks and do just a bunch of ordinary things, ask about my epiduo, and mention my panic attacks. Thank you very much!
go see a doctor, you dont need to tell your parents but tell you should tell someone.
please go see someone
I will be seeing my doctor in a month or so.
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Thank you all for your encouraging words and offers to talk and help. If you have any questions please ask them. To do a wrap up:
~I'm waiting for my current scars to heal, then I'm gonna schedule an appointment with my doctor~
~I just registered my dog as an Emotional Support Animal (Yay!!)~
~I'm reading all your comments as they are posted, I just sometimes don't have time to reply right away~
~I sterilize everything I use, no need to worry about infections, I also nurse my wounds so nothing gets in them when they're fresh~
~Im working on finding ways other than self harm of coping with my anxiety~
