I feel very conflicted about my feelings. On one hand, I feel very fortunate to have found full-time work after graduating from college and the big C hitting the world. On the other hand, I don't feel particularly content in this role and still wish that I could have gone back to the company I last interned at. At a meta level, I feel guilty for not being content with my current state of having a job and not counting my blessings (having food, being able to live at home, etc.)
It's very frustrating to me because I'm so used to getting fulfillment out of studying/working and feeling accomplished. And I think that's part of the problem. I know the purpose of life isn't to work, but it's still hard to get the workaholic in me to shut up.
If you read to the end of this, thank you. I hope you and those you care about are staying well.