Autism

[Poppies_92]

Just curious if anyone on the forums are living with Autism? I was diagnosed at an very young age, its pretty challenging at times throughout young to adulthood. If anyone is, how do you feel about it? It used to bother me a lot living with it along side an learning disability during my teens. But getting older I learned to accept who I am. Don't want to go on too long lol. Thanks

 

[Neb]

I was diagnosed with “high functioning” autism spectrum disorder when I was four. Most people irl and online say they can’t tell unless I share that fact with them. I guess I just seem more shy than anything else.

Autism is a challenge for sure. There are so many social skills that I had to learn by reading and practice. Over time I’ve gotten good at understanding vocal tones. Unfortunately I still can’t read faces very well. If you asked me the difference between a “tired” face and an “irritated” face I couldn’t tell you. I also can’t hold eye contact to save my life.

While some people are understanding, I feel like many expect us to read their minds. We don’t need to be talked down to. It just helps if things are explained directly and with intent.

I’m grateful devices like noise canceling headphones exist. The noise sensitivity from my autism made me dread leaving the house. My current pair do such a great job making street noise tolerable. Walks can finally be relaxing!

 

[Disneyfangirl23]

I was diagnosed with Autism when I was at primary school luckily one of the staff noticed and told my mum. I can’t remember when my mum told me I had it but I’m okay with it I guess. I have lots of friends who have disabilities anyway.

 

[Dinosaurz]

Yea I was diagnosed when I was young, probably like 6 or 7 I honestly don’t remember lol.
My dad and brother are also diagnosed so it runs in my family. Unfortunate for me lol

 

[Disneyfangirl23]

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have Autism

 

[Shawna]

So, I am not specifically diagnosed with Autism, but I am diagnosed to be "on the spectrum", which as far I know, does not ALWAYS mean Autism -- it sometimes just means that you COULD have it, or that you have a similar condition, but correct me if I'm wrong. My mom told me that it can be hard for doctors to pinpoint certain things on certain people, which could be linked to the fact that Autism is harder to pinpoint in females, thus a lot of us aren't diagnosed until adulthood, if ever (from what I have read). This could suggest that I could have Autism, but is still undiagnosed.

I do have Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF1), but I am not sure if NF1 is linked to Autism/being on the spectrum, or if these two conditions coexisting is purely coincidental. I actually have two online friends who also have NF1, one of which does have Autism, the other of which has never revealed about having Autism, but has shown signs that he does have it. This could be evidence that NF1 and Autism are linked, and that I myself have Autism.

I do struggle with a lot of the same issues that people with Autism or Asperger's do, which mainly include sensory perception (brightness/sound/texture), delayed development, learning disabilities, impaired social skills, being sensitive to getting yelled at/scolded/lectured, and even more. Getting yelled is something I am extremely sensitive to. It sometimes makes me cry, it destroys my day, and it gives me an anxiety attack. If I am lucky, an anxiety attack is all I have to deal with.

Fire drills were a nightmare for me throughout school. I liked them in Kindergarten and 1st grade because they were not really loud, and I actually liked the sound of them, but from 2nd way until the time I graduated, the mere announcement of them would send me spiraling to anxiety. As stated above, I am very sensitive to loud noises and I am also just a very jumpy person, so every time I knew a fire drill was around the corner, I would cover my ears, shake, and have a fast heart rate. My teachers would sometimes get mad at me...

Another thing I tend to struggle with is being polite. You guys may not notice this about me on here, but sometimes I cannot help but speak-out my opinion about something to a family member, and my dad is very strict with what is polite to say and what is not polite to say. Even if it's just "Can you please not do that?" (this was said to my uncle back in October 2019 when our household was still living with him, because he was getting his dog spun-up, which made me nervous) and "I am not trying to make you feel bad, but I do not like that brand?" (this was said when my grandpa bought our household a brand of roman noodles that I disliked).

I also feel that I am emotionally wired differently from most people, for lack of better words. My reasons for crying are different from neurotypical people. Most people cry over a family member dying, most people cry during a funeral, most people cry if they find out a loved one gets cancer. I just don't cry over this type of stuff. It obviously makes me sad, I'm not that cold. But it's just not the strongest emotional hardships for me. The things I cry over are different. I cry over getting yelled at, I cry over being frustrated, I cry over getting into an argument with one of my parents. I am fed up with people that say "If ________ makes you cry, then you are a crybaby" or "If _________ does NOT make you cry, then you are heartless" And it's just like....stop with these labels! No!!! We are not crybabies, and we are not heartless. It merely means that our emotions are wired differently. Unless someone gets joy from a tragic event, don't you DARE call that person heartless, because you don't know how that person's mind works!

I wish this condition (along with similar ones) was more understood. That's actually another issue I struggle with -- feeling misunderstood.

 

[Dinosaurz]

So, I am not specifically diagnosed with Autism, but I am diagnosed to be "on the spectrum", which as far I know, does not ALWAYS mean Autism -- it sometimes just means that you COULD have it, or that you have a similar condition, but correct me if I'm wrong. My mom told me that it can be hard for doctors to pinpoint certain things on certain people, which could be linked to the fact that Autism is harder to pinpoint in females, thus a lot of them aren't diagnosed until adulthood, if ever (from what I have read). This could suggest that I could have Autism, but is still undiagnosed.

I do have Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF1), but I am not sure if NF1 is linked to Autism/being on the spectrum, or if these two conditions coexisting is purely coincidental. I actually have two online friends who also have NF1, one of which does have Autism, the other of which has never revealed about having Autism, but has shown signs that he does have it. This could be evidence that NF1 and Autism are linked, and that I myself have Autism.

I do struggle with a lot of the same issues that people with Autism or Asperger's do, which mainly include sensory perception (brightness/sound/texture), delayed development, learning disabilities, impaired social skills, being sensitive to getting yelled at/scolded/lectured, and even more. Getting yelled is something I am extremely sensitive to. It sometimes makes me cry, it destroys my day, and it gives me an anxiety attack. If I am lucky, an anxiety attack is all I have to deal with.

Fire drills were a nightmare for me throughout school. I liked them in Kindergarten and 1st grade because they were not really loud, and I actually liked the sound of them, but from 2nd way until the time I graduated, the mere announcement of them would send me spiraling to anxiety. As stated above, I am very sensitive to loud noises and I am also just a very jumpy person, so every time I knew a fire drill was around the corner, I would cover my ears, shake, and have a fast heart rate. My teachers would sometimes get mad at me...

Another thing I tend to struggle with is being polite. You guys may not notice this about me on here, but sometimes I cannot help but speak-out my opinion about something to a family member, and my dad is very strict with what is polite to say and what is not polite to say. Even if it's just "Can you please not do that?" (this was said to my uncle back in October 2019 when our household was still living with him, because he was getting his dog spun-up, which made me nervous) and "I am not trying to make you feel bad, but I do not like that brand?" (this was said when my grandpa bought our household a brand of roman noodles that I disliked).

I also feel that I am emotionally wired differently from most people, for lack of better words. My reasons for crying are different from neurotypical people. Most people cry over a family member dying, most people cry during a funeral, most people cry if they find out a loved one gets cancer. I just don't cry over this type of stuff. It obviously makes me sad, I'm not that cold. But it's just not the strongest emotional hardships for me. The things I cry over are different. I cry over getting yelled at, I cry over being frustrated, I cry over getting into an argument with one of my parents. I am fed up with people that say "If ________ makes you cry, then you are a crybaby" or "If _________ does NOT make you cry, then you are heartless" And it's just like....stop with these labels! No!!! We are not crybabies, and we are not heartless. It merely means that our emotions are wired differently. Unless someone gets joy from a tragic event, don't you DARE call that person heartless, because you don't know how that person's mind works!

I wish this condition (along with similar ones) was more understood. That's actually another issue I struggle with -- feeling misunderstood.

Depends if you mean neurodivergent spectrum or the autism spectrum. I get what you mean about speaking your mind, I used to get in so much trouble here cause I was just so blunt and said whatever I thought. Social skills are not a strong point lol

 

[Seastar]

I'm pretty sure I was diagnosed with it during elementary, but nobody told me for several years. I was taken to doctors periodically and put in the special education system for my learning disability. But yeah, I had no idea what was going on. I struggled with a lot of things that I didn't even know were related. For example, I had habits I could not control that ended up causing people to bully me at school. I believe the bullying made my social skills get worse. By the time I was in high school, I no longer sat near anyone at lunch. I'm probably not doing much better now considering I have rarely left my house in the past several years.
Oh, and about being misunderstood? One time my dad got mad at me because I panicked over him telling me to order food myself. I don't think he even knows what social anxiety is.

 

[Croconaw]

I’m not completely sure, but I was put in special learning classes for English. Math was my strong point, so I wasn’t in special classes for that. I felt the reason for my struggles in most classes were because I was being bullied everyday. It gave me really bad anxiety and it was emotionally draining to go to school everyday expecting to be bullied. Nothing changed until high school when I moved to a different school district, but I was still a social outcast due to the bullying from my past. I think my school years made me feel the need to seek constant validation from people. It even translated to my adulthood somewhat. When I work at a job, and a coworker or customer is toxic or rude, I just quit and find another job. It’s become an ongoing thing because there are toxic coworkers everywhere, but I’ve had a lot of jobs due to this. While being in school, the teachers wouldn’t do anything to stop the bullying and my only escape was transferring schools. I’ve been trying different ways to deal with toxic people at work because we are adults now, but being bullied in my childhood has made it difficult to overcome this.

I’m actually really outgoing and I don’t have any problems talking with people. I consider myself extroverted. I believe that bullying was the reason for my struggles and nothing more. I think people need to take bullying more seriously. Parents need to teach their children it’s absolutely not cool to be mean to other people, and parents need to take action when they realize it happens. Bullying has affects on people that can impact someone’s life long into adulthood. This is a serious matter and schools that refuse to take action or take poor action need to be punished.

 

[VanitasFan26]

I'm autistic and for the longest time I've always relied too much on what people think of me which has really affected me personally. I need to learn to validate myself and not focus on what people think of me and how I should not live up to their expectations. I need to decide what makes me feel good about myself and I should be around people who respect me for who I am. Its this realization that has finally hit me.

When someone tells me a hurtful thing. I feel pressured to do stuff to make them feel happy but then my mental well being suffers because I am not feeling happy about it. I feel like If I do what they tell me to do they will be happy but then I suffer on the inside. Its hard when you try to do things that make you happy but then the people you love will try to tell you to do things that is "for you own good" You try and stand up for yourself but then they tell you things that makes yourself feel worse. I hate this feeling so much.

I really want to believe there is good people out there, but in my case its very rare, because I've been hurt so many times in my personal life. I will forever remain skeptical whenever someone tells me how "nice" a community or someone else. At times they may look nice, but deep down they could be someone that could screw you over or sometimes lash out of you.

Nobody will ever understand what I go through. They don't know how it feels like to be abused, neglected, manipulated, and of course the most painful one being backstabbed by those who you thought they were people that cared about you, but then turned their backs on you. For an autistic like me its really hard because I feel like barely anyone understands that mental illness.

Combined that with depression it makes it a lot more difficult. I know there is kind people out there, but the biggest is we live in a time where its easy to spot really kind people, but deep down they can turn into something you would not expect them to be in a bad way. I'm just saying how I've been deal with this throughout my life. Not just on the internet, but in real life too.

 

[coldpotato]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was younger but now is technically known as Autism Spectrum disorder.
One of my biggest struggles I would say is being misunderstood and judged by people. If I didn't tell people I had this, they wouldn't know. They think I should be able to do the same things they do because a lot of the time I seem like a neurotypical person. Some relationships I have been in basically became a cycle of them continuously putting me down for not being on their "level" because I "seem" perfectly capable of doing certain things they can do. It's one of those invisible disabilities so some people just assume it isn't there. I mean, you wouldn't tell a disabled person with two broken legs to just "shut up and walk" because unfortunately it is obvious their body will not let them. It should be similar for people even with disabilities you can't see. I don't appreciate people telling me to "shut up and do this thing" when my body/mind will not let me.

I will say one thing I do love about having this particular disorder is that when I am interested in something I can dive very deep into it for long periods of time and find out incredible information!

 

[Holla]

I myself don’t have Autism but my older brother does. He’s older by just under 3 years. He was diagnosed with a severe case of Autism (or low functioning) at a young age, so despite being younger I often felt like the older sibling. Eventually my parents made the hard decision to give him up to a foster home cause we literally couldn't do anything together as a family. Something as simple as going to the movies was a no go, nevermind travelling anywhere. I still got to see him every other weekend at least, but ever since he moved into the foster home I grew up more like an only child really. It's still hard even today as when I see him I still can't really have any form of a conversation with him. I'm also guilty of forgetting he even exists at times and that makes me feel downright horrible.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I've got Aspergers though I don't like to use labels like "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" because Autism isn't a spectrum, it's more like a... like those sound boards where you can move different levers for more or less of a frequency. for autistic folks each person is so different, one "high functioning" person might have relatively few symptoms but struggle greatly with speech, or another might struggle with processing issues (like myself, I have a great deal of problems with sensory inputs and they often inhibit my ability to work effectively).

I've struggled overwhelmingly with autism my whole life because I've always been considered "high-functioning" and people treated me like a neurotypical my whole life, no support and no accommodations. I'm only just recently realizing how harmful that has been for me, and as someone who is almost 22 trying to figure out what accommodations and support I need is really frustrating.

 

[Midoriya]

I have Aspergers and was diagnosed at an early age, and have dealt with knowing I have it my entire life. As someone else mentioned here, people judging and misunderstanding me as a person has definitely been a struggle. I took speech classes when I was younger though, and I’ve slowly but surely learned how to deal with it. I’m a lot, lot more social and savvy than I used to be. I read an article that says people with it have low vagal tone, and the only way to get over that is to be repeatedly exposed to stressful situations, and then take time to recover. Thankfully, between the various jobs I’ve had and actually being able to graduate from university despite having it, I’ve improved myself.

Even though I’m doing better now, I still don’t think I’ve received enough accommodations and support with it. And now that I’m in the stage of my life where it’s just working, I know it’s more difficult to get into some places/get hired. Still haven‘t found a good job where I can start my career, but that’s a whole other can of worms I’m not going to open right now.

 

[Seastar]

I had completely forgotten about taking speech classes. That was when I was like 5. Honestly, I don't remember what that was like besides my step sister complaining that she didn't know what I was saying.

 

[Shawna]

I had completely forgotten about taking speech classes. That was when I was like 5. Honestly, I don't remember what that was like besides my step sister complaining that she didn't know what I was saying.

Yeah, I remember having to take speech class as well in school. I also took physical therapy and occupational therapy in my early, early childhood.

 

[Tindre]

I got my diagnosis a couple of years ago; I am an adult and for me it explained how my life had been up to that point. Finally it made sense and I could start forgiving myself for not being what I expected of myself. I am happy I got my diagnosis when I was older though, because I feel like if I had gotten it at a young age I might have used it as an reason to not try things that have helped me grow. People dont think I have it, because I have gotten so good at trying to mask it, which is apparently how autism often works in women. However now that I got my diagnosis, after having been burnt out and stressed by various things, I need to be kinder to myself and do things that fit the way my brain works. Its hard though after living so many years "as a normal person" spending all my energy on making sure I do as well as I can do: and crying and blaming myself by myself when I mess up.
The most important think getting the diagnosis did was letting me understand the bullying I went through in school. I was the only person in the class that was treated as if I didnt exist by most and bullied by 4-5 people. It wasnt my fault. I know that now. It was my autism that made me different and these *******s couldnt help but bully me for being different. I wish I could see their faces if I confronted them about bullying a poor little autistic girl, but I also dont think they wouldnt care.. some people are just *******s. I still suffer from many things that happened to me growing up. I feel incredibly ugly, pick my skin, have anxiety, ocd and depression and have no self esteem. Bullying damages people for life.

I guess what I have is aspergers but that was removed when I got my diagnosis, so I am diagnosed with autism grade 1 or high functioning autism.

 

[biibii]

looked thru many threads to find this one just to say i got diagnosed today. i feel relieved but also sad for my younger self who always felt she could never fit in. does anyone have some advice they could share with me? thank u sm friends ;-(

 

[xSuperMario64x]

looked thru many threads to find this one just to say i got diagnosed today. i feel relieved but also sad for my younger self who always felt she could never fit in. does anyone have some advice they could share with me? thank u sm friends ;-(

getting a diagnosis is honestly a relief because it can explain a lot of problems/difficulties that you experience and/or have experienced in the past. every autistic person is different and we all have strengths and weaknesses, but it's nothing to be ashamed of at all. I would say don't worry too much about the past, focus on the present and remember to be kind to yourself (I used to beat myself up a lot for "being lazy" until I realized that it was a combination of depression and executive dysfunction). if you have any questions, or just need a listening ear, you can always DM me

 

[WhiteLily210]

I got diagnosed with asperger's as a child. I am very happy I did at a young age because the more I learn about it, the more I find the things I do or think is just a part of it and I'm not faking it or being dramatic. It was always a struggle to socialize since you have to learn and observe everything from tone, expression, and body language. Sensory issues were always a problem too. I did mostly well in all of school with accommodation but now that I am an adult, even normal tasks and errands are too overwhelming to even think of doing. Luckily my struggle was noticed and I'm being sent to a psychiatrist for help. I'll be better soon.