Do you have trust issues?

[Croconaw]

Do you have trust issues? If so, how are you overcoming it? Do you have any experiences you don’t mind sharing?

I do have trust issues. During my high school years, few people pretended to be friends with me because they felt sorry for me. Even a few young coworkers from one of my fast food jobs acted sweet and trustworthy towards me, but I knew they were screwing with me. They were all friends with each other and it was obvious they talk about everyone else behind their back. I think my trust issues go back to elementary school when I was being bullied. Most of the bullies were two-faced. They acted nice towards me around teachers but when I was alone, they were very rude.

One of my bullying experiences was when I got pushed and locked inside a teacher’s classroom before class started. The students wouldn’t let me out. The teacher came and saw me inside the classroom, and literally all the students said that I was going through the teacher’s stuff. That resulted in me getting a detention. She felt no need to check the cameras as the students all had the same story: I was going through her stuff. This was a smaller class, so there were only about seven students, including myself. They were all able to collaborate this.

It can be hard to trust people sometimes, but I like to think there are still trustworthy people. I’m just extremely careful with who I consider my friend and even more careful with who I trust with certain details about my life.

 

[Red Cat]

Never trust anyone ever. Humans are awful.

 

[Croconaw]

Never trust anyone ever. Humans are awful.

I’ve never seen a group of sentences more accurate. Sad, but true.

 

[N e s s]

Ever since the incident back in 1995, yes I do.

 

[Violet Witch]

Yes, and I'm not afraid to admit it either. I've had too many people screw me over in the past that it's made me overly cautious about trusting others especially when it comes to sharing personal thoughts and feelings. I'll never understand those who use and dispose of others so easily and quickly and not realise how much their actions can affect others for a long time.

Some humans just really suck.

 

[tomatospooks666]

oh definitely. the people i've trusted have so thoroughly proven that my feelings and well-being doesn't matter to them that i honestly don't see the point in trying to open myself up to people anymore.

 

[KatieLavender]

ye... s lot of people i considered to be my best friends in my old high school turned on me and basically ruined my life, it takes a lot for me to trust new friends

 

[VanitasFan26]

I have trust issues, due to being hurt so many times in the past and being mistreated. Nobody will ever understand what I go through. They don't know how it feels like to be abused, neglected, manipulated, and of course the most painful one being backstabbed by those who you thought they were people that cared about you, but then turned their backs on you. For an autistic like me its really hard because I feel like barely anyone understands that mental illness.

Combined that with depression it makes it a lot more difficult. I know there is kind people out there, but the biggest is we live in a time where its easy to spot really kind people, but deep down they can turn into something you would not expect them to be in a bad way. I'm just saying how I've been deal with this throughout my life. Not just on the internet, but in real life too.

 

[coldpotato]

I'm sorry about the bullying you went through. I feel like it takes a special kind of evil person to bully someone in the way those kids bullied you. People can say "kids will be kids" or "they don't know any better" but there comes a point where basic human decency and even an ounce of empathy is completely absent within children and it makes me wonder just what type of environment they are growing up in, or if they are actually born psychopaths.

I have had many, many people manipulate me, abuse me, disrespect me, and a lot of bullying in my younger years and even in some of my early adult years. I have had people I've fallen in love with and thought were the nicest people in the world, turn around and treat me like I'm worthless and undeserving of basic human decency. So yeah, I do have trust issues. I still have to work on them and have a long way to go, but I think what helps me is focusing on the good, trustworthy people I encounter or who are in my life now. I need to fully appreciate them and all that they do and have done for me and try to focus my attention more on that.

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

I have trust issues because of some friends who I thought were friends, but were really just toxic and just bullied me. Most people just generally didn't like me when I was a kid and just made fun of me a lot.

I only trust people that I've known for a really long time and I am close with them.

 

[King koopa]

Depends. If I don't know you, then I don't trust you, but if we're friends, then I do trust them.

 

[Midoriya]

No. I used to be naive and gullible growing up, but after experiencing things in my life and having people leave me, I’m not so much anymore. It does take me awhile to trust someone fully, but once I do I continue to trust them until proven otherwise. If someone says something or does something to betray my trust, I immediately start distancing myself from them. That being said, I don’t assume or judge people without knowing them first. You can’t base everything on appearances, especially someone’s character.

Also just wanted to mention that I’ve rekindled friendships that I’d previously had a falling out with. As long as someone doesn’t give up on me, I will never give up on them.

 

[Holla]

I still do in a way. Mostly when it comes to romantic relationships though. I was abused in the past so it makes it hard for me to trust in someone I’m in a relationship when I feel vulnerable. I’ve gotten a lot better with my current boyfriend and I pretty much fully trust him I just don’t trust myself in how I’m feeling or acting though instead. It’s like a weird reverse psychology. I hope to get over it one day.

 

[Dunquixote]

Usually not really unless someone really ticks me off. I mentioned in another thread how a person I knew in person disregarded all my requests to give me space not to mention how many times I mentioned having anxiety, yet they were clueless why I snapped and played out to be the victim. That happened over 3 years ago and I honestly cannot forgot that or how he said about my one late cat when he asked which one died “she never came out anyways.”

I do wish I could just move on but he’s the cousin of one of my friends and is part of same group that attends the parties. We were on speaking terms last time i saw him but i haven’t forgotten.

Spoiler: Some more

All my friends know i have anxiety but one thing along with a friend’s observation when I was talking to one (now former) friend, that caused me to lose trust in her as well as one of my long time best friends was the fact that she got annoyed when i needed help when i blacked out at an arcade bar and i was too shy to ask a bartender for water. she made a huge huff sound. i was anxious the whole time because they left me standing by myself since it was too crowded to move and i didn’t feel comfortable playing games by myself. So when we left, i apologized even though i knew i did nothing wrong for my anxiety and they asked me why i had anxiety like i chose to be anxious. :/ I know my anxiety can be annoying but i honestly expected better of two friends I was friends with a long time.

That’s all I can think of and can talk about right now.

And just to be clear, these are all people I physically knew. just giving some examples where I felt like much trust was lost.

 

[Princess Mipha]

I have trust issues as well, but I think that's due to my mental illnesses (undiagnosed, because I prefer to not spend money on knowing that something is wrong in my brain, when I can feel it, lol).. but anyways, back to topic. I do have trust issues and it's really hard to overcome them.
Even after my now fiance proposed to me, the trust issues are not going away. It's not because of them, I know that he is the most trustable person ever, but my brain just won't accept to trust someone completely. As for friends it's a bit different. I trust people almost instantly, because I don't care too much, I guess. I always feel like they will use my friendliness, but besides that I usually trust them.

 

[Damn71]

I don't really have trust issues, I'm really open about most things so that's probably why

 

[Xara]

i definitely do, but to be honest, i’m not even sure why or where they came from. i’ve been in my fair share of less-than-ideal relationships, both platonic and romantic ones, but my trust issues existed before all of that. i’ve honestly been paranoid and mistrustful of everything and everyone for as long as i can remember, but i am trying my best to overcome that.

i’m currently on a wait list for therapy and a mental health evaluation, so i’m hoping that those will maybe help to provide some clarity as to why i’m so mistrustful of people. but until that happens, i’ve just been trying to focus on the nice things that people have said to me and done for me over the years, to remind myself that good people do exist and that there are people out there worth trusting and getting to know.

the main thing that’s been helping me, though, is taking a few moments each day to acknowledge that all of my current relationships are good, healthy ones, and that none of my friends would ever purposely do anything to hurt me. the toxic relationships that i’ve been in may not have been the start of my trust issues, but they certainly exhilarated them, so reminding myself that those relationships are over, in the past and have since been replaced with good ones helps more than i thought it would.

also, i know this thread is a few months old, but i couldn’t figure out how to word my answer back in may, so i hope it’s okay that i chime in now.

 

[LuchaSloth]

I do have trust issues...but I've gotten much better about them. Especially when it comes to relationships and stuff, my mind always goes to the worst place. I always have to tell myself "the way you are thinking is completely irrational". It's like...I know some of those things are so far beyond anything that would ever happen...but I still get this wave of nausea sometimes from overthinking things.

 

[Watchingthetreetops]

Big ones. A lot has happened these last two years that has really messed with my perception. But I’m trying to overcome and find my inner peace. I hate feeling like my own brain is a minefield

 

[VanitasFan26]

Even though I cut out most toxic people out of life I still have trust issues. I am very quick to pick up when someone is not being honest with me or if they only be my friend just to get something out of me.