Does the man run the household?

[lostineverfreeforest]

No, living with someone means sharing responsibility equally.

 

[kylie32123]

I legitimately thought that this was A Donald Trump thread

 

[Rasha]

well, in your house it is if you allow it but that doesn't apply to the rest of humanity

 

[ali.di.magix]

Nah. What your dad did was almost borderline over-controlling. If it was the case that your mum was scared to go against him, then that's a whole new problem on it's own. But that's just my opinion...

But in the general case, it should be most definitely a shared responsibility with equal amounts of work. Sadly in a lot of cases it's not always like that. In fact I think I know a lot more people whose mother's are the "man of the house". It certainly is in my house.

 

[toadsworthy]

That division of roles in a household is kind of outdated. The man is the protector and provider, while the woman stays at home and raises the kids ideal. Some cultures do still follow it and you should respect their beliefs, personally I would never want to be a family unit like that. I see lots of people still abide by it, but newer generations are more tuned into equality overall (gender, race, sexual orientation, political view, religion). Saying one person has a certain job, or expecting someone to fall into a stereotype is annoying.

If my child loved something and I knew it (video game, pet, other thing) I would want to get to know it more and share in that experience even if I don't understand it. It just seems like such a weak cop-out to just get rid of the poor thing, rather than try to fix the problem.

 

[visibleghost]

no it's not supposed to be like that. however there are still families where it's like that but i hope more families will become more equal with that stuff

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

No.

Any house is ran in part by all the people who live there, much like a machine. If you lived with 5 room mates that all shared in the chores and bills you'd understand that. It's not all done by one person, it shouldn't be.

 

[Tao]

No?

Saying that, my mum always 'ran the household'.

Apparently, this dog situation was exacerbated by the fact that my mom never even told my dad about the dog when she was making the plans of getting one.
Honestly, it still pains me, and my mom still says now that everything she did in 2008 was right and that she'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Well, that just makes your mum seem in the wrong. Plan the dog, get the kid all excited for the dog, get the dog and make your dad seem like the bad guy in the situation if he gets rid of this annoying yappy thing he didn't know about or want.

 

[forestyne]

No, a man who insists men run the household neither respects women or is a true man himself.

 

[GrayScreen]

That logic is super outdated. I don't even care if someone has a weirdly magical upper-middle class household where the wife has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom while the dad works. She still has an equal say in that house because she lives there. So do their kids (within reason).

I had a girlfriend who treated me that way. She considered herself to be the more "masculine" one in our relationship, and thought she was the one who should be in charge as a result. We obviously aren't dating anymore!

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

Depends on your views really. Some people are happy to live like that, maybe it's a old fashioned but there's nothing wrong with it providing that both people in the relationship are happy with the situation.
In my opinion it should be equal. But I'm realistic enough to understand that people live their lives in different ways, I can't really say whether your dad is in the wrong or not. Only you know your family dynamics

 

[Katelyn]

The minute my boyfriend tries to tell me I can't have something that I paid for just because he doesn't like it, is the moment he gets to find a new girlfriend lol

 

[Shauntal]

​

Nope, everyone in the household deserves to have equal amount of control in order to create that peaceful and non-tense atmosphere. If you can't handle the views of other people and have such a deep desire to be in control, then you shouldn't be living with someone in the first place.

​

 

[oath2order]

Is the husband more dominant? Depends on the couple. It really varies in reality, but traditionally it's the husband.

Dominance has nothing to do with who runs the household but the rest of this is spot on.

I do agree that both of the parents run the household, however I feel like the man usually is the "leader" and the woman is the caretaker, organizer, etc.

Though, nowadays the roles are very fluid.

If you were to ask me I would probably still agree with the man as the runner of the household.

Well, if that's how you want it, more power to ya!

No, this is 2017.

It's [current year]!!

It shouldn't matter year it is. In no age ever should men have had any right over women.

What if that's the dynamic that works for that couple though? There *are* women out there who do like to be subservient to men.

100% agreed. A household shouldn't be dominated by one parent.

What if it's a single parent household? What if one parent is permanently disabled?

Rhetorical questions, but really, if that's the dynamic that works for the couple, then why shouldn't it be?

That division of roles in a household is kind of outdated. The man is the protector and provider, while the woman stays at home and raises the kids ideal. Some cultures do still follow it and you should respect their beliefs, personally I would never want to be a family unit like that. I see lots of people still abide by it, but newer generations are more tuned into equality overall (gender, race, sexual orientation, political view, religion). Saying one person has a certain job, or expecting someone to fall into a stereotype is annoying.

If my child loved something and I knew it (video game, pet, other thing) I would want to get to know it more and share in that experience even if I don't understand it. It just seems like such a weak cop-out to just get rid of the poor thing, rather than try to fix the problem.

The division of roles into the "male=protector/provider and woman=housekeeper" is outdated, but the division of roles itself is not outdated. Certain things get done by each person of the household.

 

[Nightmares]

Whoever said yes fight me

 

[Nuclear Bingo]

If it's my goddamned household, then yeah. You mother****ers can do whatever you want with your spouses.

Though, I bet my wife will end up really running it. I'll just turn out to be one of those dads who comes home just for dinner and reads the newspaper until I go to bed offering shallow advice to kids I barely know when they come seeking life's solutions

 

[N e s s]

I don't need my ego stroked by my family just because I'm a guy. So, my response is hell no. If I have a kid (oh god what if I die alone) then I'm raising it with my wife.

 

[Tao]

That logic is super outdated. I don't even care if someone has a weirdly magical upper-middle class household where the wife has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom while the dad works. She still has an equal say in that house because she lives there. So do their kids (within reason).

I had a girlfriend who treated me that way. She considered herself to be the more "masculine" one in our relationship, and thought she was the one who should be in charge as a result. We obviously aren't dating anymore!

I disagree with the point of 'they live there, therefore they get equal say'.

If they aren't equally contributing to the household in some way (financially, looking after a baby, whatever else) or don't have a good reason for why they don't (they're genuinely looking for work, disabilities), then they can either live with the knowledge that they don't have equal say in my house or get the **** out and find a new moron to mooch off of. I'm not a charity.

Nothing to do with masculinity or gender, it's called give and take, pulling your weight, contributing, it applies to both sexes. If somebody works hard to get something done, you don't give the rewards to the lazy fudge nozzle in the back who did nothing just because 'they were there'.

Though that's a mute point because I wouldn't be/live with somebody who didn't contribute and pull their weight, and would like to think nobody else here would.





Kids are obviously different to an adult here, I shouldn't even have to say that but it'll get brought up if I don't. They can't and I don't expect them to contribute the same as an adult, either because they physically/mentally/legally can't or I just don't trust them to do basic things correctly.

Plus, they just don't get an equal say anyway. Why? Because I don't trust the financial judgement of an 8 year old when it comes to what we need to 'cut back on' to pay the bills this month.

Though, I bet my wife will end up really running it. I'll just turn out to be one of those dads who comes home just for dinner and reads the newspaper until I go to bed offering shallow advice to kids I barely know when they come seeking life's solutions

From past experience, I won't be calling the shots in any household decisions in a relationship. I've always just done all the household chores so they can relax (which is code for "I don't like the way you do it, I'm way better at washing up") and let them decide on anything 'aesthetic' about the house because I'm not that bothered (until after we've bought 'the thing', which is when I decide I am actually bothered, so I just start secretly resenting their choice in tacky wallpaper and vulgar ornaments).

In regards to kids, it'll probably just be a lot of feigned interest as I fail horribly trying to interact with children whilst silently thinking to myself "Your hobbies are ****! Why don't you like the same cool 90's stuff I do!? BACK IN MY DAY!!!"

 

[Buttonsy]

Absolutely not. People living under the same roof should all have equal say, no matter their gender.

 

[King Dorado]

growing up and observing other households as well it's always seemed to me that if Mama ain't happy then nobody's happy.... so imma throw my hat in the "women run the household" camp...

I live by myself, I run myself.

don't sell yourself short- running yourself is a lot of work, especially if you're difficult to manage!