Selling Double Resolution Signature Image

[AnimalCrossingPerson]

Do you ever wish your signature image would look a little sharper on these fancy high-PPI displays? Well, my friend, for 9.[SUP]99[/SUP]TBT I'll get that sorted for you! 1000TBT value!

What I need from you

• A high-quality copy of the image you wish to use. Preferably double the resolution of what it will be displayed at (1430?500 instead of 715?250 for a full-size image, for example). Imgur is recommended for sharing images smaller than 5MB (although it just gets stuck in an upload loop for me), otherwise cloud storage such as Google Drive or OneDrive. If need be, I can give you an email address to send it to. The website image uploader isn't suitable.
• What size you want your signature image to be displayed at (715?250 recommended - 715px horizontally is the absolute maximum and 250px vertically is the maximum according to rule 1g).
• Any special requests such as text overlaid (will be sharp at any size but is limited to browser fonts).
• 9.99TBT or more, paid after I've worked my magic. Not satisfied? Don't pay.

What you get

• Double resolution signature image (or any resolution requested, but going for more than double isn't worth the bandwidth).
• Lifetime (my lifetime - not necessarily yours) free hosting for your sharp sig!
• Optional: A love poem of some description written just for you.

Example (zoom in if you don't have a fancy retina display - otherwise, get out a magnifying glass)

Regular maximum signature size - 715?250 - JPEG, 90% quality:

Maximum signature size at double density - 1430?500 - JPEG, 90% quality:

Conditions

• Your image may not contain hardcore pornography, extreme gore or anything in general that I think is going much too far. Remember that I'm a lot more lenient than the staff here, so just because I'll get your edgy signature sorted, it doesn't mean you'll actually get away with using it.
• Don't expect there to be no file size limits. There's no way everyone is getting a 50MB GIF in their signature as that would be a waste of resources for everyone. Ideally, avoid GIFs as they tend to get pretty big pretty quickly, but some will be okay. We'll see when we get there.
• Don't ask me to upscale your regular-sized signature image. This achieves nothing.
• I will not modify animated PNGs as I don't have the tools to do so, but can still make them display at double density. Just remember that they'll only work in Firefox, Safari and future versions of Chrome.
• Don't haggle. It'll result in me doing it for free and watermarking your image. Or maybe you'd actually be happy with that. I don't know.

By the way, I'm likely to forget about this thread, so drop a visitor message or something.
Also, no requests tonight (11 May '17) since I have an exam tomorrow.
inb4 no requests because there will be no improvement on many screens and those with high-PPI displays probably won't even notice any significant difference.