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**** friends

I don't have any real friends. The ones I do have, live very far away or we just don't talk anymore.

I have lots of acquaintances though
 
I guess at one point I did. But it took me leaving to better myself, for them to realise how toxic they were. They were toxic in a way that they'd use emotional manipulation tactics without realizing it. For example they'd say something like "You're the last thing I want to lose, since i've lost so many people already" however they'd ignore my messages frequently. Which pretty much left me in two minds. I was constantly having a mental debate with myself about whether they cared about me or not. Only when I came back to wish them a happy birthday, did they realise how toxic they were. I know this for sure, since they'd said it to me themselves. We're still friends now we're just not as close. I talk to them occasionally, but not frequently.
 
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i dont really make friends irl but the ones i did have constantly talked about eachother behind their backs to me so i just left them and i also dont like making friends because most people at my school are really really mean or just have the opposite ideals of mine
 
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