Have you ever felt like you lived in the shadow of someone?

[DinosaurDumpster]

I seriously can't be alone-

I have 3 older sisters, and a few friends that I live in the shadows of. Everyone I know and love is just better than me at everything- art, video games, making a decent meal, and so on. Everyone else would be the ones who are amazed by my siblings and friends. Another thing is a couple of times when I have invited my friends over, my friend will go run off with my sibling and just be friends with them instead, and i'd end up just following them around.
It's harder when you're the shy, introvert one and people point it out every 5 milliseconds.

It got to the point where I just stopped caring and have gotten lazier. I don't want to be like this anymore, but its too difficult.

 

[Irelia]

I feel you! I have an older sister who I always felt has "out-shined" me. You definitely feel like you're living in the shadow of a sibling when you're introverted and they're extroverted. They've made all these connections and accomplishments, and while you've accomplished some of your own goals, theirs are flashier and more recognized. And you always get the "Oh... you're so and so's sister, right?" And that's what you're known as.
I've also had friends who were much more popular/beautiful than me back in my high school days, and I felt the sting of feeling invisible to everyone while they were in the spotlight. It sucks, it really does. Especially when you work so hard and feel like nobody cares.

Now compliments sort of just pass through me. From my parents or from friends on academic achievements or even just like looks, it doesn't mean much to me anymore.

At this point, I just try to focus on myself instead of seeking validation from others. It makes everything waaaay easier.

 

[Xara]

i’ve always kind of lived in the shadow of my cousin. granted, she’s older than me and i’ve never lived with her but my family is convinced that we’re very alike in terms of appearance and personality and so, i get compared to her a lot and somehow, she’s managed to be the golden child without even being my sibling. she was heavily into learning how to play musical instruments and so i’m disappointing for not having interest in musical instruments. she’s a god for being a devoted wife, mother and worker and i pale in comparison to her which honestly, makes no sense considering i’m 18 and should not be expected to be pushing out babies or getting married LMAO. but yeah, with how alike my family claims us to be, they find me a bit disappointing since i lack all her skills and traits that they’re most proud of lmaoo

 

[Neb]

One of my childhood friends certainly made feel like I was in his shadow. He was better looking than me, got straight A’s, and was very outspoken. While I felt envious of him at times, our friendship stayed strong. We had similar interests and I simply thought he was a nice kid. As we started to pursue different goals I became less insecure around him. While he considers jobs in the tech industry, I plan on becoming a translator. I also realized he has flaws as well. We excel and falter in different areas and that’s okay.

 

[nightxshift]

To be honest, as an only child, all the attention was brought to me. At school I’ve always been admired for being the best at art and English so I really can’t complain either LOL. The only thing that made me and still makes me feel like I’m in the shadow of someone is hanging out with people and being the shy one. Whenever I hang out with one of my friends and someone asks us something on the street, when we meet other people we know or when we’re about to pay in a restaurant, they never look at me and it makes me feel like I’m not there.

 

[InkFox]

I was raised as an only child (got two half sisters later on but I was already a teenager), and was good at school and everything, so I was not in anybody's shadow for that (I have zero social skills though so whenever I'm out I'm in the shadow of whomever I'm with haha), but I have parents who are both admired for what they do and I've been compared to them ever since I was a child. My mum is an awesome singer and voice teacher, and when I was studying music or met people who knew her, I was always greeted as "oh it's X's daughter" and people would say "let's see if you're as good a singer as your mother" and god it put so much pressure on me that I would run away from every event that would have me sing in front of people (even as an exercise, it was nearly impossible to get me to sing without bringing me to tears). My dad is an amazing sculptor and sculpture teacher, I've always loved drawing and making stuff with my hands but everytime someone would want to check my drawings and creations to see if I was as good as my dad. Well of course I wasn't (and I'm still not, obviously), I was a god damn kid ! You don't say that to a child ! "let's see if you're as good at [whatever] as your parent", you don't, it put so much pressure on me, I was so afraid to fail, to disappoint everyone, and I was sick of not being reckognized for who I was but only as my dad's or mum's daughter (ofc I am their daughter but trust me, it gets tiring...). My parents themselves never put any pressure on me, EVER, they were perfect on that matter, it was all the other people who did and it was terrible, it made me feel terrible for not living up to their expectations, it made me scared of failure. Now that I'm an adult, I'm over all this, I'm myself and it's all that matters but as a child and a teenager, this was pretty hard to go through.

On the other hand, I do feel like my little cousins somewhat live in my shadow sometimes, I'm often taken as an example for what I did and how they could/should do things, and I know they're tired of it, I feel very sorry they have to hear that sometimes. (They obviously do not resent me, we get along really well but I know how tiring hearing this kind of stuff can be : we all live our own life, walk our own path, whatever someone else did and succeeded at, we don't have to do the same to be great).

 

[Corrie]

I feel like a loser compared to like, everyone so I feel you.

I'm the oldest so I feel like if my other two siblings are more successful than me, then I have failed. My one brother is an alcoholic and has other issues so I have nothing to be jealous of there (whoops) but my sister is becoming a nurse and will make lots. Thing is, I can't get jealous or mad because she actually worked her butt off.

 

[Dwayne Johnson]

i feel like i live in everyones shadow lol, i never know what to say unless its something funny, and it feels like thats all people really care about from me

 

[fluttershy300]

Yeah, I always feel like I’m a unimportant background character.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I've lived in my brothers shadow my whole life. growing up he basically outshined me in every way, mostly in school and socially. of course that kinda messed me up as a child because now I have no self confidence or self esteem.

luckily though, as an adult my brother is always reassuring that I can do whatever I want to do, and he's also supportive of me making my own decisions (mainly wanting to move out cause he lives on his own and he would do anything to not live with our parents again).