Have you ever personally been discriminated against?

[Croconaw]

Have you ever personally been discriminated against? I know we witness and hear about it all the time, especially with what’s going on in the world right now, but have you ever experienced it yourself? Was the discrimination direct or indirect? What happened, if you don’t mind explaining?

It’s happened to me with homophobic slurs directed at me. I put it in a spoiler in case.

Spoiler: Mentions of homophobia

A few years ago, I was walking to a shopping center down the street. There was a homeless guy in the parking lot, and we made eye contact. He asked me for change, but I wasn’t in the best position myself at the time and I never carry cash on me anyway, so I just shook my head and apologized. He then followed me and shouted homophobic slurs asking me if I was a boy or girl. I had to call an Uber back to my place because I didn’t want him following me home. He literally almost hit the driver’s car with a rock. It’s upsetting how anyone can be so hateful. It made me more aware of my surroundings... I was 21 at the time of this incident.

 

[Moritz]

Outside of when I was at school (we all know how schools are) I would say the most notable time was when I was kissing my (now ex) boyfriend goodbye and someone driving by shouted ****** at us.

Thankfully I can say I've never had anything too extreme come my way.

 

[windloft]

i was descriminated against due to my mental illness and being 'weird' as a kid by other students and some teachers. our previous landlord, who happened to be a pastor. at our last house discriminated me and my family heavily due to the fact my folks are in a interracial marriage — it's what we believe anyway, he kicked us out of the house we renter w/o any warning iirc. we face some discrimination from other neighbours. it troubles us, but we simply ignore it and carry with our lives.

 

[daringred_]

yes. mostly it was 'minor' stuff though, like my nan telling me "i'd find the right guy" and repeatedly calling my lesbianism a phase for over a year after i came out (she doesn't do it anymore, thankfully) or anonymous homophobic messages calling me slurs and deluded for shipping two women etc. (i got a lot of those lmao.) there was, however, one time where it cost me a lot and almost more.

Spoiler: tw: homophobia

long story short, my favorite teacher in highschool found out i was bisexual (at the time) and, to avoid interacting with me, fabricated a story about how i was stalking her. (she also may have deliberately given my coursework a low mark so i graded lower overall in her subject, but we could never prove it.) she had no evidence to even try and support the claim, but the school backed her because they couldn't afford a lawsuit if they fired her. i almost got kicked out of school, under-performed on a lot of my final exams due to the stress, became incredibly suicidal/depressed, was denied access to her subject's course for sixth form (thereby nearly excluding me from further education altogether since it was too late to apply elsewhere), and was ostracized by both my peers and other staff members for over a year, which involved a lot of homophobic comments and invasive questions about my sexuality.

EDIT: i just realized i didn't give time frames for these, so i want to mention that these were relatively recent and just go to show how prevalent discrimination still is. the anonymous messages were a thing up until 2019 when i left the fandom sending them, and the teacher thing (and year of fallout) was 2015/16.

 

[Midoriya]

Mine was school related, but I was discriminated/excluded in middle school by pretty much everyone for being different. Sat by myself during lunch every single day. Glad that that’s way in the past now though. Since then I don’t think anyone has discriminated against me...

 

[Rika092]

This was a while ago, but when I was still in high school, my family lived in an apartment complex. The unit that lives below us moved in someone new, and it was an old lady. Ever since she moved in, we’d get whiffs of cigarette smells in the unit. My dad later found out that the old lady secretly smokes in her apartment even though the entire apartment complex was supposed to be a smoke-free environment. The property management office refused to do anything about it, so we tried to approach her very politely to ask that she be mindful about smoking inside of her apartment. She outright got defensive about it and started to drop f bombs and all sorts of very racist comments like “if you don’t like it you can go back to your country”. It was a really uncomfortable situation and fortunately our lease was ending soon so we move out of the apartment as soon as we could.

 

[CoffeeAndCaramel973]

Hello everyone, it really saddens and amazes me to see how much discrimination is still around
As for my own exeperiences, I have not really had any bad situations regarding to it. At most I would have occasionally heard something on the street or somewhere online (by accident). I think it does help (in that particular facet) that I´m not homosexual, though.

Also, @windloft , when you wrote of the pastor, I was remembered of my strong dislike of the church. Among the reasons I have for it, discrimination is among them.

@daringred_ , and @Rika092 , I am very sorry to hear both of your stories , especially the story about the teacher, because they *should* set a good example (as adults) for the younger people they teach (children, teens). I think you both seem nice though If you need (/would like) someone to talk to, or be friends, you can send me a message

 

[Neb]

I have a few times, although they’re (mostly) fairly minor. Usually it’s ignorance surrounding my autism or lesbian parents. There are exceptions though.

Back in Elementary School a girl laughed at me for having two moms. Later that year several students trapped one of my moms in a classroom for being gay. In Middle School I was denied having an aide because my “autism was too mild.” My autism symptoms made attending that school extremely difficult, but I never got as much assistance as students with more severe cases.

Before realizing I was pansexual I came out online as bi. My high school classmates had already doxxed me by then, so gossip started spreading. Apparently I was lying because “he only looks at girls” and “you can only swing one way or the other.” People on the street also began making comments on how I walk. Gay slurs, sissy, creepy, and weird were just a few of things I’ve gotten called. I wore a dress during a pride once and I kept getting nasty comments from other attendees. “Pieces of **** like him are why we’re treated this way,” and “why does that girl have a boy’s haircut” have stuck in my mind.

 

[Nefarious]

I’m part of the LGBT+, with a conservative dad, so him belittling me unknowingly is quite common. Especially whenever he brings up one of my nieces. As she is dating a man who’s ftm, and my dad hyper focuses on misgendering him and demeans both of them for being any part of the LGBT. It really infuriates me, but also the reason I’m afraid of coming out officially to the family.

Another instance of this is during one year in high school I came out to a couple of guys I thought were my good friends. They proceeded to laugh and belittle me. I, being the little edgelord I was, just scoffed and walked away with what can only be described as “cool guy aloofness”. No matter how much of a macho-i dont give a f front I put up, it didn’t make the absolute embarrassment and heartbreak hit any less hard afterwards. It still stings thinking back.

 

[Dunquixote]

I’m part of the LGBT+, with a conservative dad, so him belittling me unknowingly is quite common. Especially whenever he brings up one of my nieces. As she is dating a man who’s ftm, and my dad hyper focuses on misgendering him and demeans both of them for being any part of the LGBT. It really infuriates me, but also the reason I’m afraid of coming out officially to the family.

Another instance of this is during one year in high school I came out to a couple of guys I thought were my good friends. They proceeded to laugh and belittle me. I, being the little edgelord I was, just scoffed and walked away with what can only be described as “cool guy aloofness”. No matter how much of a macho-i dont give a f front I put up, it didn’t make the absolute embarrassment and heartbreak hit any less hard afterwards. It still stings thinking back.

dang that’s awful. I’m sorry you went through that; sorry really isn’t enough.

I didn’t go through much or as bad as everyone else. I was called “Chinese eyes” a lot in elementary and middle school, since I’m Asian. I always have been treated generally different even by people I thought were my friends. my mom has suspected i had asperger’s but when she brought it up everyone said i was fine because i got good grades and am smart (well till high school when i developed depression, OCD, and other forms of anxiety). When i talk, some people one who was formerly a friend always would look at me weird and never seemed interested in what i say unless i compliment her. other people never treated me the same as other people. i never understood why until fairly recently. also, i have trouble articulating my thoughts so there’s that. one of my friends and my dad would always say hurry up or say it already when i struggle. my best guy friend said he’d stop doing that when i explained but nothing goes through to my dad. he claims he knows i have asperger’s and anxiety yet he lashes out at me when i have symptoms shown. my problems with my dad is another story. oh my parents are white - i was adopted so that may be why I wasn’t discriminated a lot. my mom did a lot for me and still does now.

 

[daringred_]

@daringred_ , and @Rika092 , I am very sorry to hear both of your stories , especially the story about the teacher, because they *should* set a good example (as adults) for the younger people they teach (children, teens). I think you both seem nice though If you need (/would like) someone to talk to, or be friends, you can send me a message

it was pretty screwed up, i was only 15, and the two school counsellors also tried to hold me in a room against my will (despite being a minor repeatedly asking for her mother and to be let go) and gaslight me/get me to admit i stalked her.

there were a lot of red flags beforehand, but i ignored them because she was my favorite teacher -- my LGBT+ friends in her other class were all deliberately sat at one table and ignored or received snide comments from her. should've listened to them in hindsight, but i was just a kid and i hadn't seen it first-hand.

people like her should never be allowed to teach. i don't know if she still does, but i hope to hell not.

 

[BetsySundrop]

Yes, many, many times for different reasons.
Because I was American- I spent most of my childhood in different countries, lots of bombs, hijackings, etc. Our elementary school bus was protested with "Die Americans" signs etc. As a kid, was scary, but then by the time I was a teen, it was normal to be hated.

Because we were poor- if you're poor, you missed out on everything, especially school things as those fees were expensive. I got bullied for not having the latest clothes, shoes, everything. I wore my brother's hand me downs, so not fun.

Because I was white- in the 80s, a lot of quota type policies were put in place, so to get scholarships, etc, white kids had to score higher than others and were required to have better grades. My father also lost out on a job because (and they told him this) they had to hire a minority. Those policies have changed now, but back then, not fun.

Because I was female- yeah, that was also not fun in the army, being constantly told why females shouldn't be in the army. I got sent out so many times (motor pool duties, etc) and this while the males were just sitting around. Not all of the men were awful, just enough to make it very irritating.

Because I have a severely disabled child (now an adult)- I have been told "there are places for people like that". I have been asked to leave places (parks, stores). The stares, pointing, name calling have ceased to bother me. Pfft. You get used to it. I have been told my child has not been healed because "I didn't pray hard enough".

Because I am not particularly religious- no joke. In a religious area, and have been told many times I'm going to burn in hell because I'm not a certain religion. If we weren't poor and tied to the job....well if I ever won the lottery, I'd like to buy my own island, decorate it AC style lol.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

in terms of my race or status as an LGBT+ person, no I haven't (though I am still very much closeted in fear of discrimination).

I have however been subject to countless instances of discrimination by ableists, whether intentional or not. unfortunately ableism doesn't seem to be one of those things that our society has really tried to address yet. so as a person with Aspergers I lead a relatively unhappy life because everyone tries to treat me like a neurotypical and it's very hurtful. just yesterday eve I was dealing with a migraine and some very bad sensory processing issues but I still had to go to my wind ensemble class because this school, despite conforming to the Americans with Disabilities Act, does not give people leave if they're having issues related to autism like this without referring to it as an "unexcused absence". so I had to sit through wind ensemble, the most noisy class I have, and I really felt like curling up and crying in a corner.

today I have to go to career services to discuss potential career plans as well as my plans for grad school, and (unfortunately) I'm gonna have to tell them about my aspergers. I have a fear that she doesn't know how to help people like me or that she won't know how to consider my disability when discussing career plans (as is typical, people not willing to or not knowing how to work with autism is why over 80% of us are unemployed).

I also have a lot of internalized ableism which makes me lack a huge amount of self confidence and self esteem. as you saw above I've faced it in school, way more times than I mentioned. I've faced it at home with parents questioning my special interests causing me to keep them secret as if they're something to be embarrassed about, they basically raised me as a NT despite knowing of my autism since I was in 7th grade which has caused a lot of psychological damage and has drained my mental health. I've witnessed many accounts of people bullying others (and me myself being bullied) for autistic behaviors so I have to mask them in fear of judgement. the list goes on.

so yeah I've definitely experienced some discrimination. I'm sorry I wrote so much but this has been a hot ticket issue for me since I started becoming more self aware recently. I'm considering becoming a public advocate for autism because I want these issues to be made more aware in society so that people know they need to stop supporting ableism.

 

[jadetine]

To every person here: you are worthy of love and kindness. You are beautiful the way you are, and the hardships you have endured have no reason. You have no control over whose womb you came out of or which person you fall for or how your brain works. I am glad you are alive. I am glad you are here. My heart aches to hear about the hate; it brings me to tears to read these, but I am so proud that you continue to be a wonderful human being and have not allowed the discrimination to taint your actions and everyday attitude. Think back to when someone showed their love to you and don't let this dark memory ruin your day. Again, you are worthy of love and kindness and somebody (myself at the least) is grateful you are alive.

Spoiler: I have led a blessed life

I have endured some racism in school from other students, but it didn't make a dent in my self-esteem because I had such a supportive/ diverse network of friends and teachers that their jibes and derisive comments just seemed ignorant and non threatening. I was physically surrounded by a group of guys (mildly scary as a short Asian girl) who made inappropriate comments about my sexual preferences, but I was close to a very busy library and ready to run, and if caught, I had taken enough martial arts classes to feel like I could defend myself. It makes such a difference to feel empowered mentally and physically, so thanks parents! The best part was that I used the incident as a talking point for my college entrance essay about hardships and it was used as an example essay for incoming students on how to write, lol. I grew up in a liberal city and in high school was secretary of the Diversity club, which met next door to the LGBT club. I was also active in anime club and a math club, so that shows how progressive my area was for the early 2000s.

 

[skarmoury]

Yeah. I'm Filipino and we went to China once for a vacation. Our tourist guide and a few tourist sites we've been to tried to scam us thinking we were dumb and wouldn't notice the crazy price increase they placed when they gave our receipts. Not only that, but some of the people were really rude to us, cut the line in front of us, and even spat in our direction when we literally hadn't done anything wrong.

I've also heard of experiences from other Filipinos how they've been treated badly by some Chinese people. I just really wish people would stop bullying us. To make things clear, I'm not generalizing, I have some lovely Chinese friends, but I can't deny we've experienced some sort of bullying from a portion of their population.

 

[Tao]

I've always had trouble because of my appearance. I'm male but I've had long hair for as long as I can remember.

This led to the typical name calling and bullying both at school and in the streets. I've been attacked a few times before with it seemingly being the sole factor judging by accompanying insults, as well as threats and confrontations with it being the factor that made them decide to single me out. I've even once had a guy come on to me and grab my ass from behind before, only to act like I was the one in the wrong when i turned around and wasn't a woman.

Luckily I have a sharp tongue, I'm 6 foot and I can defend myself, so I've always come out on the winning side of anything BUT whilst it doesnt happen much anymore (especially helped with being able to drive) it's always there in the back of my mind, "can I be bothered with going there/doing this?" in case some arsehole starts something.

 

[Shawna]

Yep...

I am part of the LGBT community...and...it's complicated. As far as gender goes, I am just a plain ol' cis-female, but the attraction part is what's complicated.

I have zero attraction to real life people (aro-ace), and even the thought of getting into a relationship makes me uncomfortable. There have been two particular times where I THOUGHT I wanted to get into a relationship and being the desperate idiot that I was, I would lead these guys on for a short period of time (even though I had zero feelings for both of them). But hey...at least it is (probably) what taught me about who I really am! <333

But when it comes to fictional characters, I am attracted to males AND females, so I class myself as being "bi-fictosexual"... "bi" meaning males and females, and "fictosexual" meaning I am exclusive attracted to fictional characters. I have started crushing on fictional characters since I was only 6 they started out as males, but I started developing strong crushes on female characters when I was 8 or 9. I could just sit here for hours and go over my history of character crushes! I've had COUNTLESS!!

. . .​

I can remember two particular times I was discriminated against for this. One of them was back in 2018 for dating "not only a fictional character, but someone who was considered an *******", and the one back in 2019 was because I was shipped with a character of the same-sex (this person didn't even know she was a fictional character).

Let's start with the 2018 incident. I had a huge crush on Ripslinger from Planes from July 2017 to July 2019. This one guy, which he was a horrible person in general made hate posts out of me on Google+, and later even on YouTube for it, claiming I was "molesting Ripslinger" and he would bash my opinion on him and claim I should hate him for being a villain. When I first found out on Google+ it made me depressed for a few days. ;-;

And the 2019 happened back in....IDK I think it was late September 2019 or October 2019....I had a crush on Aicha Ben Malek from the Criminal Case games, so I shipped with her for a few weeks. I posted some pictures on an old Instagram account that has long since has been abandoned. This one guy asked why I was with a girl, claimed that it was a "sin".

And to clarify, these were two different people discriminating against me.

I never understood the hate on the who self-shipping thing. It is harmless. I can understand it being a problem if the person is just using it as an outlet because they are longing for a relationship, but if they are like me where they have zero interest in a relationship, and self-shipping brings them happiness and comfort, LET THEM BE!!!

. . .​

Moving on to another category of discrimination: Ableism.

Now, I have Neurofibromatosis Type 1 and I am on the spectrum. I haven't really had to deal with discrimination really badly in this department since I have tried my best to keep my conditions a secret, but I do remember this one girl on the bus I went on back when I was in school, she called me "special" mockingly (I was in the 7th grade). I don't know how she knew. I don't remember telling her...I guess it is just easy for certain people to observe just by my overall behavior. I do have café au alit spots and harmless "bumps" on my skin from my NF1, so that could be another thing she noticed.



Screw discrimination.

 

[KrazyKarp]

Also, @windloft , when you wrote of the pastor, I was remembered of my strong dislike of the church. Among the reasons I have for it, discrimination is among them.

This, this so much. I was never discriminated against myself, but the amount of discrimination I witnessed as a Catholic, and the fact that people could get away with it on the grounds of freedom of religion here in the U.S. was disgusting. I've never once regretted becoming an atheist. I know not every Catholic will discriminate and not every person who discriminates is Catholic, but it's not by coincidence that leaving Catholicism has immensely decreased the amount of discrimination I've witnessed.

 

[Hype]

I'm mixed race and one time when I was working someone called me a Mexican in a rude way. It made me laugh because of how ignorant they were because they got my race wrong but it still saddens me to see racism in the world.

 

[oak]

I've had your usual lgbt+ discrimination, which seems to be pretty common unfortunately. I had some guys at work call me a *** and a pretty boy. And then other guys at work have made lesbian jokes cause they can't tell my gender. I used to cry at comments but now I've gotten pretty good at snapping back at coworkers.