How do you feel about doing phone calls?
- Thread starter SkyKnight03
- Start date
KittenNoir
🖤 Senior Member 🖤
HATE IT !!!! I do everything I can to not have to call someone.
xSuperMario64x
call me Bug 🇨🇦💜🐛
I used to have an issue making phone calls—a lot of anxiety—but now that I've worked in customer service for almost a year I'm used to it. I still prefer to message people though; something about having that read receipt feels secure to me, plus I sometimes have a hard time understanding people over the phone (either bc of auditory processing disorder, or jarbled phone sounds, or both lol).
I do not mind talking on the phone if it is quick and important, but for extended periods of time and small talk, I ******* HATE it!! It's boring and awkward. I possibly have AuDHD, and if I do, I am willing to bet that it would be the root cause. My mom is sometimes extremely ignorant about it and guilt-trips me to talk on the phone with her. I made an exception for mother's day last year, because I had her blocked for MONTHS (she was being irresponsible with her phone), so I had A LOT I need to talk to her about. Plus, the talking had to be cut short anyway, since I believe she had to borrow someone's phone.
Halloqueen
Senior Member
I don't mind phone calls. While I've always been shy and quiet, I think the fact that there aren't eyes on me helps make it more comfortable. I still feel like I sound a bit dumb when speaking, like there's a filter between my inner monologue and my mouth and maybe sometimes too much of what I want to convey gets caught in that filter, but I've gotten more and more used to it over the years. I used to kind of dread it to some degree, but not anymore unless whatever I need to discuss is particularly serious.
I'd say it's the middle ground between the written word and speaking with someone in person. I'm most comfortable writing things down or typing things out, it comes the most natural to me. Talking to people in person, other than family and close friends who I know and am used to talking to, isn't fun though.
I'd say it's the middle ground between the written word and speaking with someone in person. I'm most comfortable writing things down or typing things out, it comes the most natural to me. Talking to people in person, other than family and close friends who I know and am used to talking to, isn't fun though.
imperfectforyou
Member
I had this same type of thing happen to me until I became a BDC service agent. I’m on the phone all day. With both extremely kind people, and extremely hateful people. The more you do it, the more comfortable you get, so you don’t mind it or notice as much. I feel like people who make phone calls on a less regular basis would likely have this issue arise!
himekirako
pompom's #1 protector
i can only really manage phone calls with friends and family.
if i have to make Super Important Adult calls, that’s when my heart races and my hands get all clammy because wow!!! stress!! and i will never understand why i can do one but not the other
if i have to make Super Important Adult calls, that’s when my heart races and my hands get all clammy because wow!!! stress!! and i will never understand why i can do one but not the other
even reading this and imaging a scenario where i have to be on the phone for something is triggering my fight or flight 
i'm a very nervous person and i don't really like talking to people i don't know, but for important matters that i can't avoid/ignore i usually write up a little script of possible things i need say, just so i have something to fall back on and it helps keep me on track. otherwise i just hem and haw and turn into a stuttering mess (which usually happens anyways T___T )
i'm a very nervous person and i don't really like talking to people i don't know, but for important matters that i can't avoid/ignore i usually write up a little script of possible things i need say, just so i have something to fall back on and it helps keep me on track. otherwise i just hem and haw and turn into a stuttering mess (which usually happens anyways T___T )
about 60% of my job is making/answering calls, so i’ve gotten quite used to it and can make personal calls pretty well now. prior to this, i hated it. i would do everything i could to avoid (for the longest time, i only saw doctors/dentists and things that would let you book online lol, which in hindsight seems so silly).
Phone calls make me anxious, no matter who’s on the other end. It could be one of my parents, a friend or a stranger, and I’ll still be on the other end trembling and thinking everything I say sounds stupid all the same. Though, it’s honestly usually the thought of the phone call that makes me anxious more than the phone call itself. I’m also less anxious about receiving phone calls than I am about making them.
I had to call my doctor’s office the other day to make an appointment, which I’d been putting off for a few weeks because anxiety! I was anxious about it, but there are 3 things I do that kind of help:
1. When I know in advance that I have to make a phone call, I make sure it’s the first thing I do that day. Like, as soon as I wake up. I of course let myself wake up a bit and get myself together first, but I don’t do anything else that I need or want to do until I’ve made the phone call. If I do, I’ll keep putting it off and justifying me putting it off, until it’s either too late or I’m too anxious to do it, and then I have to deal with the anxiety for another day and try again the next day.
2. When I go to make the phone call, I don’t think about it. My internal dialogue usually says what I’m doing as I’m doing it or says the next step of whatever I’m doing (ex. I brush my teeth in the morning/at night before I wash my face, and after I’m done brushing my teeth my brain will go “now wash your face”), and I don’t let it do that when I’m making the call. I don’t let myself think about grabbing the phone number or putting it in, I just do it. The more I think about it, the more anxious I’ll get, and then I won’t do it. That’s also why I make phone calls as soon as I wake up, so that I don’t give myself more time to think about it.
3. If I can, I write a script for myself of what to say. Trying to figure out what I need/want to say on the spot makes me more anxious and makes me more likely to stutter/stumble over my words, which I’ll be embarrassed about later, so writing a script helps. I can’t always anticipate what’ll be said after my greeting after the person picks up the phone, but I can almost always anticipate what info/answers they’ll be looking for, and I can prepare that in advance. I also write down exactly what I’m going to say when they pick up the phone, so I’m not on the other end going “Hi, um, I’m calling to um-“
I’m still anxious even when doing all of the above, but being prepared and having a “plan” in place definitely makes phone calls less scary. I’m not sure why receiving phone calls makes me less anxious than making them does— maybe it’s because I’m not initiating it and therefore can’t feel like I’m accidentally bothering the person on the other end? Idk. I only answer phone calls if I’m expecting them or if it’s someone I know, though. If it’s an unknown number and I’m not expecting a call, I don’t pick up. I also always pick up known/expected calls if I can, since if I don’t I’ll have to call them back, and again… anxiety !!
I had to call my doctor’s office the other day to make an appointment, which I’d been putting off for a few weeks because anxiety! I was anxious about it, but there are 3 things I do that kind of help:
1. When I know in advance that I have to make a phone call, I make sure it’s the first thing I do that day. Like, as soon as I wake up. I of course let myself wake up a bit and get myself together first, but I don’t do anything else that I need or want to do until I’ve made the phone call. If I do, I’ll keep putting it off and justifying me putting it off, until it’s either too late or I’m too anxious to do it, and then I have to deal with the anxiety for another day and try again the next day.
2. When I go to make the phone call, I don’t think about it. My internal dialogue usually says what I’m doing as I’m doing it or says the next step of whatever I’m doing (ex. I brush my teeth in the morning/at night before I wash my face, and after I’m done brushing my teeth my brain will go “now wash your face”), and I don’t let it do that when I’m making the call. I don’t let myself think about grabbing the phone number or putting it in, I just do it. The more I think about it, the more anxious I’ll get, and then I won’t do it. That’s also why I make phone calls as soon as I wake up, so that I don’t give myself more time to think about it.
3. If I can, I write a script for myself of what to say. Trying to figure out what I need/want to say on the spot makes me more anxious and makes me more likely to stutter/stumble over my words, which I’ll be embarrassed about later, so writing a script helps. I can’t always anticipate what’ll be said after my greeting after the person picks up the phone, but I can almost always anticipate what info/answers they’ll be looking for, and I can prepare that in advance. I also write down exactly what I’m going to say when they pick up the phone, so I’m not on the other end going “Hi, um, I’m calling to um-“
I’m still anxious even when doing all of the above, but being prepared and having a “plan” in place definitely makes phone calls less scary. I’m not sure why receiving phone calls makes me less anxious than making them does— maybe it’s because I’m not initiating it and therefore can’t feel like I’m accidentally bothering the person on the other end? Idk. I only answer phone calls if I’m expecting them or if it’s someone I know, though. If it’s an unknown number and I’m not expecting a call, I don’t pick up. I also always pick up known/expected calls if I can, since if I don’t I’ll have to call them back, and again… anxiety !!
Last edited:
Unless it's family, I'm absolutely terrified. I can't explain it, but it makes my social anxiety go through the roof. It's even worse when I have to make the call, because I have the added anxiety of calling the wrong number and looking like a complete idiot. When I started my job, I literally froze whenever my boss asked me to call clients. Thankfully, they were more than understanding and didn't force me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. Funny enough, I no longer fear calling clients at work (unless it's to deliver bad news). I wish the phone anxiety outside of work would leave. I literally can't even call to order a pizza.
I began doing early calls too. It's so much easier than suffering from procrastination. Anxiety can be all consuming and it gets hard to enjoy anything when something becomes a point of stress or nervous fixation. I usually set a specific time. As in "I'll get up, shower, and 9:30 is the phone call no matter what".
I procrastinated going to my doctor because I hate physical visits. (but no visit meant no more legal refills on anxiety medication). So I set aside an emergency supply to take infrequently. Delaying my appointment but not getting sick from withdrawal or anything.
...it was so much easier to just do the appointment and I've learned that now. especially when my doctor pointed out the actual date I was supposed to have run out of the prescription. that was quite a conversation.
I'm due again next month for an appointment and I'm just gonna go and get it over with. It's so much easier, despite the anxious brain saying 'run'.
I love making phone calls, I'll do it on others behalf if they don't want to, also. I understand the fear of it and the anxiety that comes with it, so I don't mind doing it for others. It's my preferred way of contact if I can, since it's just best for a quick response.
If I know what to expect out of the call then I don't mind it too much. If I get a call I'm not expecting or if I have to make a call that I'm not sure what the outcome will be those are the situations I don't like. It's really more about the unknown than the call itself.
ali.di.magix
🌟💫🌟💫
I've gotten used to them over time with my current job. I have to make calls to my workmates, suppliers and subcontractors on a frequent basis...so I'm kinda forced into it lol. I still dont particularly like it though. I will procrastinate making a call until I'm mentally ready to do so.
If I want to contact someone I prefer text or email, unless it's urgent. I don't care how "unprofessional" it is seen, I will not call anyone unless it's necessary lol.
As far as me being on the receiving end of calls...I just have to answer them lol. It gives me more anxiety missing a call than answering one!
If I want to contact someone I prefer text or email, unless it's urgent. I don't care how "unprofessional" it is seen, I will not call anyone unless it's necessary lol.
As far as me being on the receiving end of calls...I just have to answer them lol. It gives me more anxiety missing a call than answering one!
Millysaurusrexjr
yeah
Absolutely hate making phone calls.. why can't more stuff simply be done online?
That said, I am getting better with making phone calls I think. Still anxiety inducing but I dont put it off as much anymore
That said, I am getting better with making phone calls I think. Still anxiety inducing but I dont put it off as much anymore
Dunquixote
Mrrrroooooow! T-Treasure...
I don’t feel comfortable with phone calls at all. I have a hard time organizing my thoughts and stumble a lot just as I do when talking face to face with people.
I am with answering them...if I know the person that is calling. If I don't know them, I will leave it to voicemail. However, I rarely ever check voicemail. I don't even know how many are in there. When I am the one doing the calling I am nervous on the inside but I usually get the job done.
