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I believed in me.

xSuperMario64x

I am a Bug, please be gentle 🪲💜
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So some really amazing things happened today. I got a 100% for the first time ever on my physics homework, I made a couple new friends who also study physics, and best of all I was surprised with a staff favorite for the Bucket of Paint contest! I was so happy I was almost in tears for like an hour!!

But I think it may have had something to do with that I did during my underclassmen (UC) claas earlier today.

So basically, this morning sucked. I got a bad grade on my physics quiz, my UC professor pointed out that I had been turning in essays late and needed to quit slacking, I almost killed myself on my bike yet again, and I'm about 3 weeks into college and I'm still missing 3 of my textbooks. I was depressed and sobbing all day today because I was terribly overwhelmed and still had a lot of work to get caught up on, like my physics HW which was due tonight.

During my UC class, I almost broke out in tears in the middle of the class, so to distract myself I pulled out a pen and started drawing random stuff on paper. I eventually resorted to drawing on my hand. Here's what I wrote:
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I already had to set up a counseling point today, and I didn't want myself to fall any further than I had already fallen even before 4pm. And I didnt have anyone to turn to because I didnt know anyone well enough to just empty my emotions on them. So I told myself I believed in me. I knew whatever it was that I had to do, I could do it with enough perseverance and motivation.

I decided to go see the tutor this evening to help me with my physics homework. While I was there, I was helped by others, and in turn I helped them, and this guy who's like a senior was nice enough to take time out of his really busy schedule to help us with some homework problems. He helped us on 4 problems, and we solved the fifth one ourselves (and they basically loved me after this because I was still in high gear even though it was 10pm So I could figure out the problems pretty well). After that I was already feelin all smug cause I got my homework 100% right and helped others get it 100%, but then I log onto TBT for a minute to find... I had received 4 tickets for getting a staff favorite in the Bucket of Paint contest!! I was so immensely proud of myself!!

And it was all because I believed in myself. I know my depression has been getting the best of me lately, but knowing that people appreciate what I do not just for myself, but for others, make me really happy. I enjoy helping others, making people smile. Just for that, despite all the hardship I endured earlier, today has been one of my best days all month.

Thank you Sheila, Misera, Issi, Alolan_Apples, TOMFG, Laudine, and all of you who liked my BoP entry for giving me confidence in my coloring! I will treasure the animated Tetris grid as long as I'm on this forum!! Also special thanks to Sheila and Misera for giving me emotional support, I really appreciate it. ♡
 

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Aww no problem. And yeah real cool you got staff favorite on that as well! Keep going (fast) keep going :D
 
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