TheCreeperHugz
Boop
Unfortunately, no pun intended.
To stomp out fires.
To stomp out the burning ducks
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Joke thread
- Thread starter TheCreeperHugz
- Start date
*Smiles an evil smile*
There are 500 bricks on a plane. You throw one out the window. How many bricks are on the plane?
499.
So, with this in mind, how do you get a deer into a refrigerator?
So, with this in mind, how do you get a deer into a refrigerator?
Open the door, shove the deer in, then close the door.
How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator in four steps?
How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator in four steps?
Open the door, take the deer out, then close the door.
So, how do you get a giraffe in the refrigerator in five steps?
So, how do you get a giraffe in the refrigerator in five steps?
Open the door, discover the elephant is dead, throw the dead body away, shove the giraffe in the refrigerator.
So, a girl is walking through a forest near some mountains in the winter, and she sees a stream. Thinking she should wash her hands, she tries to do just that. Why does she not succeed?
So, a girl is walking through a forest near some mountains in the winter, and she sees a stream. Thinking she should wash her hands, she tries to do just that. Why does she not succeed?
The stream is frozen.
So, she comes back in the summer, 110 defrees Fahrenheit, and sees a bunch of man-eating crocodiles and panthers. How does she survive?
So, she comes back in the summer, 110 defrees Fahrenheit, and sees a bunch of man-eating crocodiles and panthers. How does she survive?
Man eating animals don't eat women.
After she gets out of eyesight of all the animals, she immediately dies. What happened?
After she gets out of eyesight of all the animals, she immediately dies. What happened?
A brick fell on her head.
TheCreeperHugz
Boop
Because seven has COLD, DEAD EYES.
------
Four- two in the front, two in the back.
None, cause there are already all of those elephants in there.
There's footprints in the butter
You can hear them giggle when the light goes out
Cause you can't quite get the door shut
There's a mini cooper parked outside.
Okay, im done xD
Okay, im done xD
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So, Jimmy had come gome from school one day, with one assignment from his first grade teacher: To get five spelling words.
So, when he gets off the bus, he runs inside, along with his fifth grade sister, and asks his oldest sister, who had gotten home an hour earlier, what one of his words should be. "Shut up," she replies, and Jimmy scrawls that down.
Then, he moves onto his other sister, who happens to be listening to music. Upon being asked, she says, "Oh yeah, oh yeah!" He writes this down.
His brother seems free, so he goes over to him. He happens to be watching a movie, and, upon being asked, replies, "Duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh Batman!" He scrawls this down.
His dad and his uncle are making a commercial, and cooking rolls, respectively. Upon being asked, his father says,"Toilet paper for 99 cents!" He scrawls this down.
He goes to his uncle, which turns to him, and says. "Here, ju-My buns are burning, my buns are burning!" Jimmy writes this down.
The next day, Jimmy comes into class, and his teacher asks him what his spelling words are. He replies, "Shut up!" to which the teacher replies, "You go down to the principal's office right now, young man!"
"Oh yeah, oh yeah!"
In the principal's office, the principal starts talking. "Who do you think you are!"
"Duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh Batman!"
"What do you think this school is?"
"Toilet paper for 99 cents!"
"That's it, kid, you're gettin' spankings!"
After they are done, Jimmy says, "My buns are burning, my buns are burning!"
So, when he gets off the bus, he runs inside, along with his fifth grade sister, and asks his oldest sister, who had gotten home an hour earlier, what one of his words should be. "Shut up," she replies, and Jimmy scrawls that down.
Then, he moves onto his other sister, who happens to be listening to music. Upon being asked, she says, "Oh yeah, oh yeah!" He writes this down.
His brother seems free, so he goes over to him. He happens to be watching a movie, and, upon being asked, replies, "Duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh Batman!" He scrawls this down.
His dad and his uncle are making a commercial, and cooking rolls, respectively. Upon being asked, his father says,"Toilet paper for 99 cents!" He scrawls this down.
He goes to his uncle, which turns to him, and says. "Here, ju-My buns are burning, my buns are burning!" Jimmy writes this down.
The next day, Jimmy comes into class, and his teacher asks him what his spelling words are. He replies, "Shut up!" to which the teacher replies, "You go down to the principal's office right now, young man!"
"Oh yeah, oh yeah!"
In the principal's office, the principal starts talking. "Who do you think you are!"
"Duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh Batman!"
"What do you think this school is?"
"Toilet paper for 99 cents!"
"That's it, kid, you're gettin' spankings!"
After they are done, Jimmy says, "My buns are burning, my buns are burning!"
^ Lol I remember that joke as well from my childhood :'D
-My dad was pistol, Guess that makes me a son of gun
P1: Will you remember me tomorrow?
P2: yeah
P1: the day after that?
P2: yes
P1: in a week?
P2: yes
P1: in a month?
P2: yeah
P1: in a year?
P2: yes
P1: in ten years?
P2: YES!
P1: Knock, knock
P2: Who's there?
P3: WHAT THE HELL YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET ME!
"What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat a fish, it dies."
-My dad was pistol, Guess that makes me a son of gun
P1: Will you remember me tomorrow?
P2: yeah
P1: the day after that?
P2: yes
P1: in a week?
P2: yes
P1: in a month?
P2: yeah
P1: in a year?
P2: yes
P1: in ten years?
P2: YES!
P1: Knock, knock
P2: Who's there?
P3: WHAT THE HELL YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET ME!
"What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat a fish, it dies."
TheCreeperHugz
Boop
I wonder how many people here will understand that...
Only two, but it's gotta be a pretty big lightbulb...
Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
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Suave_Spencer
Gallifrey falls no more.
None, that's a hardware problem.
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TheCreeperHugz
Boop
Quark.
TheCreeperHugz
Boop
To get to the same side
Suave_Spencer
Gallifrey falls no more.
Hey, I did that joke on the first page!
On that note:
He required an orientation
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EpicGamer12
Senior Member
The only joke I see around here is this thread.
BowserFanGurl1999
Senior Member
Heard this one in my English class at school.
I heard there were two bounty hunters searching for Russian terrorists. For each one they captured and brought back to their boss, they'd get a load of cash. Also for each weapon they swipe from them, they get cash. So one day, the two hunters, we'll call them Jim and Tim, were over in Russia. Tim was certain he heard a voice from behind him, but Jim said he didn't hear a thing. Tim heard the noise again, from closer, but Jim still didn't hear a thing. Finally, the noise was so close that Jim could finally hear it.
"Who's there?! Reveal yourself!" he shouted. That very second, about one hundred Russian terrorists came out of the forest they were nearing, each one armed with an AK-47. Tim said to Jim:
"Jim... We're rich!"
I heard there were two bounty hunters searching for Russian terrorists. For each one they captured and brought back to their boss, they'd get a load of cash. Also for each weapon they swipe from them, they get cash. So one day, the two hunters, we'll call them Jim and Tim, were over in Russia. Tim was certain he heard a voice from behind him, but Jim said he didn't hear a thing. Tim heard the noise again, from closer, but Jim still didn't hear a thing. Finally, the noise was so close that Jim could finally hear it.
"Who's there?! Reveal yourself!" he shouted. That very second, about one hundred Russian terrorists came out of the forest they were nearing, each one armed with an AK-47. Tim said to Jim:
"Jim... We're rich!"
L. Lawliet
Senior Member
What did you wipe on my shirt?
My faith in humanity
My faith in humanity
TheCreeperHugz
Boop
Pi and the square root of negative one were having an argument. After a while, the square root of negative one shouted, "Will you please be rational?"
Pi replied, "Urgh, get real...."
Pi replied, "Urgh, get real...."
cannedcommunism
idk man
Why did the monkey fall off the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall off the tree?
Why did the second monkey fall off the tree?
He was glued to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall off the tree?
Why did the third monkey fall off the tree?
He was laughing at the first 2 monkeys.
Why did the fourth monkey fall off the tree?
Why did the fourth monkey fall off the tree?
Peer pressure.
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