Amissapanda
Manda Panda
Regardless, you're not gonna find a dominatrix around here. Best look for that in Britain too, I guess.
~Miss Panda's Art Thread~
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Amissapanda
Manda Panda
Eff this all. : )
Amissapanda
Manda Panda
Honestly, don't bother. You don't need to bump things for me. This community is just proving to be very superficial (save for a few people) and frankly, there are other sites and places where people actually want to see my art and don't just want to get free things or shop things out of me to give a ****.
If you want to find my art, it'll be on tumblr and/or DA (but more likely on tumblr). This place makes me feel like my art isn't worth **** unless I'm doing art for other people for site currency or requests.
Thanks to those who have been supportive and nice to me even if I haven't given things to you. I've always, always tried my best to support many artists here, but everything is so grossly superficial that it feels like I'm in high school all over again. And I'm not going to try to be trendy or popular for people to care. There already ARE people who care, like my friends, who make me feel like I'm worth more than what art I do or don't do for them.
Hyoshido
Sometimes, he do miss
Oh my goddamn, that's one of the big reasons why I stopped doing pixels, people only really responded to freebies but when I offered TBT commissions, completely ignored (except the one or two replies lmao)
Wanna talk to me about this? least I can do is try to help you out for once.
Wanna talk to me about this? least I can do is try to help you out for once.
Amissapanda
Manda Panda
I don't really know what there is to talk about, to be honest. I'm just tired of it. I don't even want to open a shop or anything. It's all superficial. Every last drop of it. And unless you constantly give requests/have a shop, people just generally do not care. Get what they want and move on to the next one. I have done requests/shop pieces for people before. And have they given me the time of day since? Very, very few.
In a word, it makes you feel expendable. Replaceable. Used. Worthless.
In a word, it makes you feel expendable. Replaceable. Used. Worthless.
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Hyoshido
Sometimes, he do miss
Man, that must be a terrible feeling...I can't believe they'd go so crazy to get your art but not really care for you as a person, aslong as they get the art it's like "Haha, I got this!" and that's the end of it.
I'm probably going really deep and cheesy by saying this, but you're really hard to replace, you're a really unique friend, never met another person such as yourself and I'd prefer if it sticks like that.
Your art has a really unique style and that they've made you feel like this isn't fair on you at all.
I'm probably going really deep and cheesy by saying this, but you're really hard to replace, you're a really unique friend, never met another person such as yourself and I'd prefer if it sticks like that.
Your art has a really unique style and that they've made you feel like this isn't fair on you at all.
Amissapanda
Manda Panda
I'm just not cool enough, I guess. It's all like YAAAAHHH a chance to get your art! And then even if they did get it, it's like okthxbai! And they only come back if I'm offering requests/shop/auction stuff. It makes you feel like you're being used for your art, basically, and that's all that matters to people. And frankly, I'm not going to play that game. And I'm not going to bother trying to befriend people anymore, either. It's not worth wasting my time on when I get ignored 90% of the time anyway. Screw that. I'm done.
Really, thanks for caring, though. I appreciate you talking with me about this. And it seems like you always have a kind word, even when I'm feeling like this. That means a lot to me and I grateful for it---and for you. Thanks for sticking with me this long and enjoying my art even when I'm not doing tons of art for you. That means a lot.
Hyoshido
Sometimes, he do miss
RIP me, typing on my phone is...annoying D':
It's such a bother that there's people like how you're explaining them, it's even worse because I'm sure I was like that ages ago, hurts me to know I was similar to these ungrateful members, I guess that's old news since I appreciate and try to talk with the artists who've drawn for me which has made me some friends throughout these last few months.
You'll always be the coolest kid on the block to me, shame the people who've won your auctions tend to give so much ignorance towards you, I'm glad you're not going to take that BS anymore, they should hate themselves for putting you through this.
You're a really inspiring friend, you've helped me through my worst times so I'm happy to know I'm returning the favor, your art alone doesn't make you wonderful, everything about you is wonderful, I'll always be here to help you, after all, you've done the same for me.
I'm going to treasure that Ness piece you did for me, didn't you say I was one of the only few people who've had a full piece done by you for free? That's like an achievement in my books!
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amen missa ._.
100% accurate description of most people on here honestly, i'm so sorry that people are like that to you.
i've had a few bad cases of "friends" on here, and not surprisingly they are from The Museum. They suck up to you when you have freebies on and try to start convos to boost their chances of getting picked, then afterwards they just carry on their suckup lives.
damn i even had a good support group back then where the same few people would come cheer me and talk not expecting art, just like you have hyogo, and i thought that was nice, until they just dumped my ass for a few other people. And hell those people i probably have drawn alot for.. Ungrateful ********. (at least now i have a full list of who i will now refuse to art for/befriend as i don't want to go through the **** again)
its a **** feeling i know, but i really hope you feel better with everything. People just have to learn that artists are people that have amazing personalities outside their amazing art (such as yours), and if people are only here to support the art, but not the artist, they should just go.
im not sure if that even made sense... but anyway i do truly hope you feel better soon!!
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Kairi-Kitten
Weak Grandpa
Oh no T_T I am so sorry to hear you've had to deal with that >: I hope I never came across that way Dx I realize I took time to respond, though I am usually just lazy : ( I really hope to keep in touch with you somehow if you decide to leave and can understand why you would be upset (poo on those people) I am sad that this seems a frequent problem for artists! You are definitely a wonderful person and I shall miss you greatly, Amissa<3 Always did enjoy the chats we had!
Damn it, I really hate seeing you like this. You're amazing, Amissa, and you don't need the acknowledgement of others to realize that. It all comes down to one person: you. There is no denying that we live in a superficial world of opportunists, but you know what? You don't have to let people's behavior affect you personally. Nourish yourself and focus on your own personal growth. It usually helps to look at things from a different perspective. Personally, in these types of situations, I like to think like an anthropologist and take a more objective stance--thinking rationally about topics has a calming effect, and you are far more likely to come to an agreeable resolution in the end. Ideally, you would like The Museum to be a place that allows others to connect through the creation and sharing of art, but in actuality, the forum works more like a market economy. It sucks, but it is what it is, and you will walk away with fewer disappointments if you learn to accept rather than expect.
I earnestly hope you find ways to improve your confidence. You have done a great deal to inspire others, so all that's left is to reinforce positivity in YOU!
"You gotta look for the good in the bad, the happy in your sad, the gain in your pain, and what makes you grateful not hateful."
I earnestly hope you find ways to improve your confidence. You have done a great deal to inspire others, so all that's left is to reinforce positivity in YOU!
"You gotta look for the good in the bad, the happy in your sad, the gain in your pain, and what makes you grateful not hateful."
Amissapanda
Manda Panda
Sorry for the trouble with your phone typing.
It's not fully about people being ungrateful. It's their choice to get what they came for and walk off. But it's disappointing, because as this place in the forums claims that it's a place to share art, this feels less like a sharing place and more like as Azu put it: a market economy. And then all the artists start to compete for a place in it. I don't want to be one of those people. I don't want my worth here to be based on things like that. It's my choice, just as other people have made theirs.
I don't feel that anyone should hate themselves over it or anything drastic like that. Like I just said, it's disappointing and frankly, I don't want to be a part of it. It makes me feel worthless aside from what I can give that people want and that's too much like my former self for me to ever be comfortable with. But still, I appreciate everything you've said, thanks. And I'm glad you like the Ness piece, despite him not being short and cartoony.
Sorry to hear that you've dealt with the same thing, though I honestly can't say I'm surprised at this point. That's a really crappy thing for people to do and I'm sorry to hear that your support ended up much the same way. I'm fortunate enough to have friends that aren't on this site that I know I can always turn to and they've always appreciate me for who I am. I came here in hopes of finding a place of belonging as an artist and a person, but it just turned into this giant popularity contest type of thing and who can give more of what people want to keep their attention. It's like I said in one of my posts, this feels like going back to middle school or high school for me. It's that kind of vibe. Thanks, though. For me, it's kind of both---there's very few that support my art, either, unless it's specifically for them or a request. And it feels really crappy. Like basically nothing I do is worth anything unless it was drawn for someone else. So I just don't see the point of sharing my art here anymore.
Don't worry, you never have. I'm really glad we've gotten to be friends. I don't plan to leave or anything. I just won't really be posting art and stuff here anymore. I let people know where to find it if they want to see it. But I'll still be lurking around and such. I just don't want to be part of this superficial nonsense anymore. It reminds me too much of how miserable I was trying to do everything I could to give people thinks they wanted in hopes that they would like/accept me. I spent too many years like that and an abusive relationship trying to make just ONE person be happy with me and what I could do for them. And I hate that inkling sometimes of trying to return to that---thoughts of like, well maybe I should put a shop up or open requests, because then people will notice me! And then I immediately want to slam my head against a wall, because feeling lonely is at least better than returning to that dark time. But yeah. Rest assured that I do enjoy talking to you, if my tl;dr paragraphs didn't give it away. lol
I'm a lot more positive than I used to be in past years, but to be honest, I can't keep up that way of thinking all the time. It's draining. And I can't always tell myself how to feel, either. I know by now that I don't need the acknowledgement of others, but it's also really lonely by yourself, too. It's not a nice feeling and I can't always turn it into one with positive thinking, either. The Museum, to my understand when I got here, was a place to share art. But as you said, it's no longer such a thing. I have mentioned such things in passing to mods before, but nothing has ever come of it. It's a superficial popularity contest of, as you said, opportunists. I'm aware that I don't need that, but I came here in hopes of belonging to a community. Pretty much everywhere I go, I can't find a place of belonging and it's really hard to make friends. And as I told Kairi, what startles me the most is that I can feel shadows of my old self trying to tell me I should give people what they want so I'll be accepted into the group. And that frightens me, because I don't want to live for others' approval. That doesn't mean that it's any fun to sit in a sandbox and play by yourself, though, in hopes that eventually someone wants to come play with you. And I have tried to be very positive and supportive toward other people here. And it is disappointing how shallow everything is.
But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I have. It means that I'm human and susceptible to emotions and depression just like anyone else. I try to pick myself back up and try again, time and time again. But I can't force-feed myself self-confidence and just hope it sticks like magic. It's not a terrible thing to look for positive reinforcement around you. I don't base myself self-worth on purely this site or anything like that, but one of the easiest ways to adapt to positivity is to surround yourself with it.
Frig, I'm really sorry. I sometimes come off as too impersonal with my advice. The image you painted with your ex and the sandbox... God damn it, I'm such an insensitive jerk, treating your situation like an isolated incident. I get it now. The loneliness you feel. If distance wasn't a factor, I would come and hang out with you everyday! THEN WE COULD VENT AND SPEAK POORLY OF TBT TOGETHER! Basically take away all your fears of reverting back to your old self because that notion haunts me, too. *sigh* I wish I could help you achieve breakthrough...
This might be a touchy subject, but have you ever attended counseling or therapy? This might be an extreme measure for some folks, but if you ask me, it's a good way to help yourself deal with negative-thinking as well as anxiety and depression.
aleshapie
~Fairy Tale Seamstress~
It seems like a great deal of artists feel this way here. That is so sad! Personally, I have stayed friends (for lack of a better term for people you only know online) with some super awesome artists from here! We text, play games, confide in each other (like old-fashioned pen-pals) and generally keep in touch. That being said, there have been a few artists here who won't give me the time of day after doing my commission. (complete opposite of what you are describing) I am generally a pretty cool and understanding person, and I do not harass or pester anyone, artist or not...so I am not sure what that is all about.
Anyhow. I bet a break would help your perspective. Also, bear in mind, it is ALWAYS your prerogative WHO you actually do art for! I have finally gotten to this point in my cycle thread. I am just not taking any more crap, for any reason. period.
Hang in there! It's a crappy time of year...depressing...post holidays, winter blahs (here, anyways) and the "anti-climax" of all the extra work and preparation for holiday gifts, etc. I know I am feeling the blah's myself...and my experience as a nurse for the past 15+ years tells me that many people are in your (our) shoes.
This, too, shall pass!
- - - Post Merge - - -
OH...btw: YOU GUYS WHOOOOOOPED my tail in MK8...I am not sure I can handle the embarrassment! LOL
Anyhow. I bet a break would help your perspective. Also, bear in mind, it is ALWAYS your prerogative WHO you actually do art for! I have finally gotten to this point in my cycle thread. I am just not taking any more crap, for any reason. period.
Hang in there! It's a crappy time of year...depressing...post holidays, winter blahs (here, anyways) and the "anti-climax" of all the extra work and preparation for holiday gifts, etc. I know I am feeling the blah's myself...and my experience as a nurse for the past 15+ years tells me that many people are in your (our) shoes.
This, too, shall pass!
- - - Post Merge - - -
OH...btw: YOU GUYS WHOOOOOOPED my tail in MK8...I am not sure I can handle the embarrassment! LOL
Hyoshido
Sometimes, he do miss
S'all good, my phone doesn't have the biggest keyboard and I haven't got small fingers >:I
(Lucky my cell growth is gone lmao)
I just feel like it's disrespectful, even if they thank you for what you've done but just ditch you afterwards, it's like a one night stand but without the sex lmao, this forum used to be about sharing art and people would ask for crits and sometimes offer services for TBT, that's similar to how it is now but it was alot less and people were generally more friendly compared to now.
Jokes 8( you'd destroy me on Mario Kart anyday.
I guess hate is a strong word to use for that, but they should definitely consider your feelings too, it's very disrespectful to you for what they've been doing, they might aswell say it's all "fine" for them, which it is because you've done art for them, but you're just left there to be ignored after doing your services, I could say so many great things about you Amissa, I don't think this thread would be the perfect place for that although because things are emotional enough and I don't want to make you have mixed feelings right now, I just want you to be as happy as you can be, which is tough because of how you've been treated by those people.
Hehe, while I do prefer Ness to look like he does in the games, your piece will always be my favorite art piece I've gotten!
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Amissapanda
Manda Panda
You're far from an insensitive jerk. I know you were just trying to help. I just wanted to better explain where I was coming from about my issues, rather than give you the wrong idea. But yeah, if distance wasn't a problem, it would be awesome to hang out. Haha. I don't actually have a single friend that lives around here. The nearest one is at least 3+ states away. Kind of sucks living in the middle of nowhere. But yeah. I've come a long way from where I've been so I don't like seeing myself consider taking steps backward. It's inevitable that I THINK of those things sometimes, but I never want to get to the point that I act on any of them. I know that living for the sake of someone else's acceptance and wants is a terrible, absolutely miserable way to live, especially when they tell you that you're just not good enough.
Honestly, I don't feel that counseling would do anything for me. I wouldn't talk to them. I may type a lot online, but I don't speak IRL and to be truthful, I can't see myself taking it to someone who is getting paid to help "figure me out" or "fix me". I feel that in the long run, I'm better off facing my own problems and taking my own steps. Which isn't to say that's not a viable option for plenty of people, counseling-wise, but it's not for me.
That's cool that you've been able to make some friends. Even as an artist myself, I have great difficulty becoming friends with other artists. Most start to hate me behind my back. Like one I thought I was close to in my main fandom made a journal entry years back about how unfair it was that the community had given me more comments on my drawings that I posted there than hers, because she felt that hers was better. I... honestly didn't know what to say. And up until then, I never knew she harbored such bitterness toward me. It wasn't just that one friend, either. I had another one tell me on Skype something similar and how jealous they were of me. And it's like... how is this friendship if you're only concerned with with the amount of comments we get? It wasn't even a big difference in either one of those cases. I didn't even notice it. Someone would literally have had to COUNT to see the difference. And it just boggles me. But yeah. Most artists I ever became friends with at some point either start becoming passive-aggressive toward me for those reasons, or they try to use me to get free art or something. My two closest friends don't really draw or anything. We all write, so we have that in common, but artist friends for me are really rare and almost always go sour. Which sucks, because it would be awesome to have doodle buddies and stuff. Anyway, I digress---as far as actual commission artists go, I understand in way that they keep things as "business". Most of the people who commission me aren't looking for a friend. I know from the start they're paying me real cash for art. But if you make an honest effort to be friends with them and they blow it off, that's rude regardless. That is, unless you're talking more or less like the informal TBT commissions here or something (not the RLC ones). That I don't get, but I feel like honestly, popularity has gone to a lot of people's heads.
I have taken breaks from this site already before. Even for much the same reasons. It hasn't really helped. And I know it's up to me who I do art for, but even so, most people here do not give you or your thread the time of day UNLESS you're offering art/TBT commissions/etc to begin with.
It's actually kind of funny, because I ended off 2014 feeling absolutely GREAT about the year and really, really looking forward to 2015 starting off really well. I was super positive. But lots of things went downhill despite trying to keep my head up and I haven't had this many mood swings and huge downs for years. I'm not sure what's affecting me so hard. But I do know I have a lot to look forward to this summer (Splatoon, Mother 4, brother's wedding, PAX Prime). I'm trying to bear that in mind with each crappy day that passes as one step closer.
Psh, no worries! Mario Kart is just for fun. At least, that's the way I view it. I've never been super-competitive. (I just get mad when people are douches. lol)
I feel like at this point, there's so many artists here that people don't want to bother to befriend anyone who isn't super-popular or offers tons of art/art shop stuff. Which is their choice, but it just feels like some kind of a contest and I want no part in it. I came here to share art. And instead, I can only ever really garner any interest if I'm "offering" something. Because people have so many choices and honestly, at this point it's just drawing the same characters over and over, all of which people already have stashes of art of. Not to be a hypocrite or anything---I know I have bought art too. But I actually put that art with credit and direct links to the artists. Not just a stash thrown together with no credit to any artists shown. I know it's important to showcase people's work with credit. I wish more people did. That's getting slightly off-topic, though.
You really have to get into a Mario Kart 8 stream one of these days so I CAN decimate you at Mario Kart. : )
Well, it's like I said. People here buy so much art from artists that most of them are generally forgotten. I'm going to stop doing those arts outside of commissions, since it sucks just being thrown into someone's four page stash of character art or something. I mean, I get why people like to buy art of their characters from different artists/styles, but it still doesn't make you feel like you created anything special for that person. You're just another tab on the list.
Happiness is a work in progress. I don't ever expect to be a point in my life we're I'm perfectly happy. There's always going to be ups and downs. But I appreciate the sentiments, nonetheless. I've had some time to think it over and I just think I'm not going to do requests or shop stuff anymore, unless it's for RLC. Period. I don't want to be a part of an art community like this. I may work myself back up to posting my own stuff up here for no one or doing an art auction once in a blue moon if I feel I need to make TBT for something, but I'm at least dead-set on the shop thing. I'm done with that. I'm not letting myself fall into that horrible trench I was stuck in years ago trying to please people and trying to live vicariously through other's acknowledgement of me. I don't want that ever again.
And that's very flattering, thank you. I'm happy that you enjoy it that much even not being your preferred style.
Amissapanda
Manda Panda
Looking over old art and trying to convince myself that my art has gotten significantly better, but...
These are from 2008. I feel like I really haven't come far from then. And it was so long ago. ._.;
These are from 2008. I feel like I really haven't come far from then. And it was so long ago. ._.;
Hyoshido
Sometimes, he do miss
Well I can already tell off the bat that your recent work has improved severely with your shading, the lines on your newer stuff look better too!
Maybe you've just been so perfect for so long and you haven't noticed? 8)
Maybe you've just been so perfect for so long and you haven't noticed? 8)
Amissapanda
Manda Panda
Well, there are some differences, but in 7 years, I feel like I should definitely have come much further than I have.
I'm far from perfect and so is my art, lol. I don't believe in perfection, anyway. I'm pretty sure I would go crazy if I did.
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