My difficult bullying situation - Advice?

[NathsPlays]

Hello! I'm undergoing a bit of a difficult situation right now, so your advice would be very much appreciated.

I just started College. I'm from the UK, and so it's a lot more slow, relaxed and generally easier than the American "College". High school was hell, though. The school itself was very poorly managed and was full to the brim with stuck-up loud irritating people. Not good for someone like myself who's laidback and quiet at school.

I picked a Media course at College, and it turns out some people from my high school ended up taking some video game design courses and sports courses. Only a handful, and they were all friends with one another. At the time of me beginning my course at College, I was "meh" with them. I'd chat with them every now and then, and I was in an inactive group chat with them on Facebook.

After a couple weeks of our courses beginning and a few friendly "bump-in"s, I had made one really good friend. We sat opposite each other at break, chatting about life. After College, the Facebook group comes back to life. Someone says they saw me and the girl talking, and suddenly they're all in on it, claiming we were in a relationship. We're actually both taken, but by different people. I'm in a long distance relationship and I don't want anyone to know about it, as I know people would mock me for it.

Here's an exact copy of what happened.

Spoiler

(Person 1): Oi Nathan who's this fat bird you been talking to
(Person 2): his girl friend
(Person 1): Have you stuck your mushroom is her yet
(Person 1): Have you pollinated the soil yet Nathan

((At this point, "Person 2" tries to get my attention, thinking that I'm missing something important by using my close friend Finn, who doesn't go to the College but is in the group. He was offline throughout this whole thing, and never sent a single message.))

(Person 2): finn is it true
(Person 3): Is it?
(Person 1): No way Finn is it actually true

((Two hours later, I finally see the notifications. My phone's always on mute...))

(Me): lol I don't have a girlfriend
(Person 3): Stop hiding it
(Person 3): You said you were taken

((I previously said I was in a relationship, and that's all. My LDR partner is actually agender - they don't physically have a gender.))

(Person 3): Who is it then?
(Me): Nobody you know. I'm surprised you care.

Anyway, after this they began looking through my Instagram account, checking who liked my photo from a few days ago and looking through each and every person's profiles. By this time I was terrified. I have social anxiety when I'm speaking to people IRL, and it's difficult speaking to this new friend of mine at break all the time. Now I can guarantee that they're gonna be peeking from corners spying on me and my friendship, stalking my social media and putting more and more pressure on me when they see me around the campus. It's really not fair, and I feel like they're taking advantage. I don't want people to know about my LDR relationship because I know I'll be bullied and questioned.

For now I'm trying to ignore it and cool myself down, but I need advice on how to deal with this kind of problem. So my question is - what would you do in my situation?

Thank you so much for reading all this.
Nath

Update:

Spoiler

With all the advice in mind, I was still a little frightened about what would happen the very next day. Luckily, I barely saw any of them at all. I walked past one of them and they said Hi, but that's basically it. I'd just like to thank you all so much for the advice, you're all so awesome!

 

[Antonio]

More importantly, do you got advice for yourself? I always believe that the best advice comes from within.

 

[NathsPlays]

For years I've tried to block out any annoyances and distractions, and I've been fairly decent at it... But this one feels so much tougher than before. I wanted College to be a fresh start because 95% of the bullies and annoyances from high school were gone.

 

[debinoresu]

SAME NAME SAME NAME SAME NAME

ok but first of all we have the same name!! hello fellow nathan!!!

second of all this is really immature of them. id just be straightforward and say she was just a friend i had, even going to the lengths of introducing her to them, need be. you dont have to tell them youre taken to prove you arent dating her. i think maybe being so secretive about everything w/ her might be making them more suspicious? if you just keep being straightforward about it theyll probably lose interest with no mystery or investigating to do. also id try to gradually stop talking to them and fade away from the group chat, eventually leaving it, over time, as they lost interest in me. they seem like really awful/obnoxious people. best of luck

 

[Soot Sprite]

Honesty, I'd just tell them to butt out. It doesn't sound like you're great friends with most of those people, and not only is not their business those comments seemed pretty inappropriate to me. They're creeping on your instagram for no reason other than to be nosy. I don't think there's anything wrong with a long distance relationship, but you have a right to privacy and people need to respect that.

 

[Hopeless Opus]

lol wtf they sound like they're five years old.. so stupid.
if i were you i probably wouldve let them had it but the best thing to do is just ignore it. they'll eventually **** off, and if they don't, then i'd let them have it lol

 

[NathsPlays]

SAME NAME SAME NAME SAME NAME

ok but first of all we have the same name!! hello fellow nathan!!!

second of all this is really immature of them. id just be straightforward and say she was just a friend i had, even going to the lengths of introducing her to them, need be. you dont have to tell them youre taken to prove you arent dating her. i think maybe being so secretive about everything w/ her might be making them more suspicious? if you just keep being straightforward about it theyll probably lose interest with no mystery or investigating to do. also id try to gradually stop talking to them and fade away from the group chat, eventually leaving it, over time, as they lost interest in me. they seem like really awful/obnoxious people. best of luck

Hi, fellow Nathan!

I've spoken to my new friend about it, they even suggested pretending she was gay. It sounds silly but it's a valid idea.

I definitely like your idea of fading away from the group. I'm already purposely trying to be less active in there.

Thanks so much for the help!

- - - Post Merge - - -

Honesty, I'd just tell them to butt out. It doesn't sound like you're great friends with most of those people, and not only is not their business those comments seemed pretty inappropriate to me. They're creeping on your instagram for no reason other than to be nosy. I don't think there's anything wrong with a long distance relationship, but you have a right to privacy and people need to respect that.

I've never really been that good friends with them to be honest. To me, they've been acquaintances for years, nothing more. We just used to play Minecraft together, that's the main reason why we had the group chat in the first place.

I definitely feel like my privacy has been intruded, it's just not fair. Thank you so much for the help!

 

[Soot Sprite]

I've never really been that good friends with them to be honest. To me, they've been acquaintances for years, nothing more. We just used to play Minecraft together, that's the main reason why we had the group chat in the first place.

I definitely feel like my privacy has been intruded, it's just not fair. Thank you so much for the help!

No problem, they definitely don't sound like they're worth your time. It sounds like they're prying just for the sake of being nosy. Hope everything works out!

 

[NathsPlays]

lol wtf they sound like they're five years old.. so stupid.
if i were you i probably wouldve let them had it but the best thing to do is just ignore it. they'll eventually **** off, and if they don't, then i'd let them have it lol

I'm totally not the kind of person to physically get involved or anything like that, I'm cautious of my image. Although I definitely see your point.

 

[Mega_Cabbage]

Well you did post on social media. The Internet isn't the most private place in the world, much less social media sites. For now, just don't post anything and they'll have nothing else to stalk. I would also try to see if you could change the privacy settings so that other people can't view your posts.

 

[NathsPlays]

Absolutely. Although I take extreme measures to make sure they don't know my NathsPlays username. I use a different username when they're around. I've already taken a look at my privacy settings too.

 

[N e s s]

If it were me in that situation, i'd give them the finger and say something from my smart a** vocabulary to piss them off. After that i'd just stop talking and laughing at what I said.

But for others thats not really polite. Honestly, you should just approach them about it, say you don't appreciate what they say and then just leave.

 

[kayleee]

TBH it's really none of their business so I would just tell them to F off

 

[Bowie]

Ignore them.

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

I'm also in the UK, have a good experience on bullying unfortunately only I was lucky enough at the time that there just wasn't any Facebook or much in the way of phones or internet at the time I was in school and college. Is speaking to your tutor about this not an option? You've only just left school, until you turn 18 your tutor needs to be looking out for you in the same way the teachers should have done at school. Maybe there is another course you could go on to? In my college, there were two courses running for the same thing, one was just for mature students and that was the one I ended up in, despite only being 17 at the time:

Honestly, they haven't quite grown up yet. All this must be very funny to their immature little brains. If you know they are going to start trying to upset you, show them you won't put up with it. Bullies don't pick on people who show they have good confidence, they don't make good targets. I assume your course will be about 2 years long? You can't put up with that for such a length of time so it's got to be stopped now before it escalates. I would honestly tell them quite assertively that it is none of their business, then block them on social media and or speak to your tutors about your concerns

 

[NathsPlays]

If it were me in that situation, i'd give them the finger and say something from my smart a** vocabulary to piss them off. After that i'd just stop talking and laughing at what I said.

But for others thats not really polite. Honestly, you should just approach them about it, say you don't appreciate what they say and then just leave.

Mhm. I had the idea of just staying quiet about it all, and if they ever confront me about it I'll tell them it's a pain in the ass.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm also in the UK, have a good experience on bullying unfortunately only I was lucky enough at the time that there just wasn't any Facebook or much in the way of phones or internet at the time I was in school and college. Is speaking to your tutor about this not an option? You've only just left school, until you turn 18 your tutor needs to be looking out for you in the same way the teachers should have done at school. Maybe there is another course you could go on to? In my college, there were two courses running for the same thing, one was just for mature students and that was the one I ended up in, despite only being 17 at the time:

Honestly, they haven't quite grown up yet. All this must be very funny to their immature little brains. If you know they are going to start trying to upset you, show them you won't put up with it. Bullies don't pick on people who show they have good confidence, they don't make good targets. I assume your course will be about 2 years long? You can't put up with that for such a length of time so it's got to be stopped now before it escalates. I would honestly tell them quite assertively that it is none of their business, then block them on social media and or speak to your tutors about your concerns

I ws going to speak to a tutor about it, but I'm sure it'll blow over soon. From my experience with them in high school, their knowledge that I spoke to a teacher would only fuel the fire they started.

I definitely don't want to change my course. They're not even in my course, and I really hate change of plans.

We'll see what on earth happens. Cheers for the advice!

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

It doesn't sound like your teachers in school did a very good job of sorting it out for you. Having said that, neither were mine. They always seemed to make matters worse. My college tutor on the other hand was very good about dealing with any problems I had. I think once you leave school and you're in an environment like that you get spoken to on a different level from the way a teacher would speak to you, if you understand what I mean. They were a lot more understanding than what my school teachers were.

Hopefully it will blow over for you soon enough. I really, really hate bullies. Very cowardly and they're only brave when they're in a group.
Best of luck to you

 

[MokaAkashiya]

Mushroom? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL6CDFn2i3I

 

[namiieco]

Tell them to **** off and get on with their own life. People like that have no right to spy on you and stalk you.
I'd say that you do have a relationship but not with your friend, end of story.

 

[Isabella]

Block them all, give them minimal contact in person.
i think it's bad to lie if you have a relationship or not but in the end it's your choice on what you do with that status, it just seems to get messy sometimes. like u don't have to say who it is just say, it's no one they know. or something idk.