Officer, I can explain...

[Taka]

I didn't see this game anywhere and it's one of my favorites on other forums so I figured I'd bring it to life over here! This is a classic and zany forum game in which users can get creative explaining to a police officer why exactly they were found with the things they had in their car.

How to play: The first poster writes three objects and/or animals that the next poster was found with in their car when pulled over by a police officer. The next poster comes up with an explanation as to why they were driving with these things in the back and then lists three more things for the poster after them.

Example:

A knife, a bear and a three pound salami sandwich.

Well you see, officer, I was driving my grandmother's bear to the vet, but he only eats three pound salami sandwiches cut into six pieces, so I had to bring a knife.

A bowl of spaghettios, a ping pong paddle and a time-bomb set to go off in ten minutes.

I can explain. That bowl of spaghettios was a special order for a friend of mine, he's having a party for his 21st and he's short a ping pong paddle so I figured I'd bring one of mine. The bomb is full of confetti as a surprise gag, but it's set to go off soon so I need to get it delivered quickly.

A cat, a purple boot filled with coffee beans and a dirty diaper.

And so on and so forth. Let's start already, eh? I'll begin with...



A pile of dirty socks, an entire school locker and a dead owl.

 

[himeki]

I can explain. I was too lazy to wash them, and the locker I stole from a year 8 I tortured to death. The owl offered itself as tribute, but it died anyway.

A baby's foot, a Touken dojinshi and a Ebola ridden Petri dish.

 

[Taka]

Officer, I can explain this... I was babysitting my cousin's daughter's nephew a week ago and he managed to cut off his foot with a pizza box and I couldn't find it, don't worry though, he's fine. I honestly don't know where the other items came from and I swear they weren't here before. Did I mention that my car was stolen and returned again two days ago?

A great white shark, a water-logged PC from the 90's and a pair of shoes covered in maple syrup.

 

[Dae Min]

Officer, I can explain. I was on my way to buy syrup for my pancakes, since there wasn't any left in my house. I know! Crazy, right? Once I purchased it, I was attacked by some guy in a shark costume near the check-out counter. He was trying to steal my maple syrup! He ran out and I chased after him, racing into my car and flooring it to catch up to shark man's incredible speed. Suddenly I see him pulling over near the ocean and.. stepping inside?

What? He's not a guy in a shark costume! He's AN ACTUAL SHARK. I was like "Oh hell no! Shark or not, I need that f***ing maple syrup back!" I took out the spare fork I always keep in my back pants pocket and tackled the shark down. Stabbed his eyes until he was blind and then stuffed him in my trunk.

I found Shark dude's old computer by the shore. I took it and put it in the trunk too, but spilled some of the maple syrup on my shoes in my haste

A barbie doll, a Justin beiber CD, and a 10-pound bag of potatoes

 

[Taka]

Alright, officer, alright. I'm secretly a fan of Justin Beiber, okay? Just don't tell anyone else that I have a stash of his CDs and limited edition barbie dolls! The potatoes were to go with dinner tonight, since I really love me some baked potatoes... like, A LOT. I was also planning to get a workout in today to my favorite artist--who is no secret now, I suppose. The barbie dolls are just collector's items, I swear... I swear!

A backpack full of unpackaged skittles, a priceless piece of recently reported stolen jewelry and an ice sculpture of John Wayne.

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

Uhm, yeah so officer, John Wayne was totally wearing that priceless jewelry all night, I don't know WHERE he got it. No, that is the REAL John Wayne, he has super powers... and is trying to go invisible. I KNOW HE'S MELTING! Oh, what's in the bag uh.... yeah it's a lot of skittles. You see, I met this old lady who was taking her cloud for a walk... and I just waiting for her to continue down the street after it Skittled all over the street, and then electrocuted some guy. No, you can't have a lemon skittle, lemon is my favorite skittle. GOOD DAY SIR!

a teenager in a donut costume, an industrial sized mayonaise jar, and 50 watermelons

 

[pokedude729]

I can explain Officer. My son is an advertiser for the local Donut shop, and I was going to brimg the Mayo and watermelons to my office's picnc.

A Master Sword replica, a celing fan, and the kitchen sink

 

[MayorBambie]

Officer, I can explain. I wanted to redecorate my house. It's not my fault if i'm too tight on cash that I had to replicate the Master Sword....

a dead body covered in mozzarella, an empty bag of jelly snakes and a bag of stolen goods.

 

[himeki]

Eli where's your items?

 

[Taka]

I admit it, officer. I killed this guy that was bugging the heck out of me and I dumped the food he hated most all over him. The gummy worms were to celebrate his death and the stolen goods are just things I've always wanted. Officer... I'm afraid I can't let my secret get out so I'm going to have to kill you too.

A block of cement, an incredibly realistic painting of Nicholas Cage's face and an AK-47.

 

[MayorBambie]

I can explain officer. I'll admit, I hate Nicholas cage but, since I can't kill him in real life, I had to do the next best thing. I got a painting of him and was intending to shoot it. The I was going to throw it in the river, weighing it down with the cement block.

A child's playhouse and a pink frilly bonnet with a matching pink dress.

 

[CommanderLeahShepard]

I can explain officer. I was on my way to a tea party with my high society friends so I had to look the part so I am wearing this pink frilly bonnet and dress, but on my way a little child shouted at me from outside my car window and said I looked silly like a frilly pig on drugs so I got out the car and stole the now crying child's playhouse and I'm on my way to destroy it before I arrive at the tea party to have tea and scones.

An out of date loaf of bread, some glue and a hammer.

 

[Taka]

Thing is, officer, I've had that bread in here since my grandfather died holding it three years ago. I just didn't have the heart to throw it out, and the green color matches so well with the rest of my car that I had to glue it to the dashboard so it would stay there. It's a reminder of how great Gramps was, and that color coordination is truly key. Oh, the hammer? That's in case someone ever tries to steal the bread loaf. You'd be surprised how many people have attempted the theft of my grandfather's bread!

A cooler full of blood packs, a pile of stakes and a bag full of garlic knots.

 

[MayorBambie]

Officer, this is confidential. I'm actually a vampire hunter. the blood and steaks are for drawing the vampires out and the garlic is self explanatory.

A dead body with the murder weapon and blood stains all over your clothes