I've never really.. blogged here. but I guess I can gander at the words I'm about to spewl across the page.
I'm going through tough times. I don't know if any of you know {or care} about it. I recently had a melt down that almost landed me in the psychiatric ward, and since then, been slowly improving. I just had a terrible panic attack that mixed with my manic disorder and anxiety.
How fun is that?
I am currently plugged with nodes and stickies to test my racing pulsed heart. If that makes sense. Basically, my pulse has been as high as 152. But that doesn't exceed my sister's pulse of 220 that she had on her panic attacks. Yep. My whole kinship has bipolar disorder, or panic anxiety in some form. As for my parents, I don't know.
But regardless, it's not comforting knowing you may reset the darn thing in the middle of the night, the "pace maker" kinda machine. Except, it just watches your pulse than make it.
And since I've been having fits of rage today, running up and down the stairs. They're {the doctors} are going to stare at me like I'm a dumb uh. Yeah, I'm not going to swear on here.
But despite this, I'm trying to be positive, and hope that what I want will come to me, as I try to make it come to me, and live long enough without some inner influence making it incredibly hard on me.
Rant. Over.
I'm going through tough times. I don't know if any of you know {or care} about it. I recently had a melt down that almost landed me in the psychiatric ward, and since then, been slowly improving. I just had a terrible panic attack that mixed with my manic disorder and anxiety.
How fun is that?
I am currently plugged with nodes and stickies to test my racing pulsed heart. If that makes sense. Basically, my pulse has been as high as 152. But that doesn't exceed my sister's pulse of 220 that she had on her panic attacks. Yep. My whole kinship has bipolar disorder, or panic anxiety in some form. As for my parents, I don't know.
But regardless, it's not comforting knowing you may reset the darn thing in the middle of the night, the "pace maker" kinda machine. Except, it just watches your pulse than make it.
And since I've been having fits of rage today, running up and down the stairs. They're {the doctors} are going to stare at me like I'm a dumb uh. Yeah, I'm not going to swear on here.
But despite this, I'm trying to be positive, and hope that what I want will come to me, as I try to make it come to me, and live long enough without some inner influence making it incredibly hard on me.
Rant. Over.
