Opinions on this?

[OctoLiam]

Hi I wanted to get a couple of opinions about this bit of I guess story I made (just saying just a bit of something I could do) I think I will add more examples in the future or continue on this bit. Of course no art sorry but I hope you enjoy this bit of this story.

Spoiler: Examples

I could not break free of this world even the heat death of the sun couldn’t break me out the only thing I wanted to see again is…….

Reason why I stopped it there is because he fades out but worst


Thanks so much for checking this out.​

 

[Hyrule_Crossing]

Seems pretty good, honestly sounds like something you would put in a sad story, but it’s still pretty nice!

 

[OctoLiam]

That was kinda the goal but thanks

 

[IzzyShika]

It sounds awesome, and mysterious too, I love stories/reading c: