Seeking Advice

[SpaceTokki77]

Hi! I need advice. I was doing a trade on Nookazon and this dude wanted some items I was selling. He said he'd be available in an hour, I told him I had ten minutes, blah blah. He gave me three stars, I gave him four. Why give me a bad review because you weren't available? Anyways, I apologized because I don't want a random three star rating. He accepted and changed his review. We did the trade. He was being pretty nice but kinda creepy. He's been getting even more creepy. He asked me if he could come over out of the blue, he asked me how many bells I had, he wanted to know what I was doing today. I know that isn't that bad, but coming from a complete stranger, I was getting uncomfortable. I reported him but haven't gotten a response. Everytime I complete the chat, he reopens it. Not sure what do do, please help?

 

[xTech]

I mean, the reality could be many different things. For example, he could legit just be a bit lonely and trying to make a friend, because I know many people don't have many friends to play the game with. If it's bothering you, just let him know that you're not comfortable with sharing your information, and that you're only using that site purely to make a couple quick trades as you're very busy. Or you can just ignore him (since as far as I am aware there's no block feature on nookazon) if you really can't pluck up the courage to tell him the truth, and i'm sure he'd go away after a day or so. However, again i'd strongly recommend trying the first option I mentioned if you can do it, but all in all it's your decision. If you're worried about him rating you a low star review because of this, honestly he'd need to be very petty to do so, and imo it wouldn't affect you as much as this clearly has anyway. Of course, take this advice with a pinch of salt, because I am not a psychologist and do not have much experience with issues like this.

 

[SpaceTokki77]

I mean, the reality could be many different things. For example, he could legit just be a bit lonely and trying to make a friend, because I know many people don't have many friends to play the game with. If it's bothering you, just let him know that you're not comfortable with sharing your information, and that you're only using that site purely to make a couple quick trades as you're very busy. Or you can just ignore him (since as far as I am aware there's no block feature on nookazon) if you really can't pluck up the courage to tell him the truth, and i'm sure he'd go away after a day or so. However, again i'd strongly recommend trying the first option I mentioned if you can do it, but all in all it's your decision. If you're worried about him rating you a low star review because of this, honestly he'd need to be very petty to do so, and imo it wouldn't affect you as much as this clearly has anyway. Of course, take this advice with a pinch of salt, because I am not a psychologist and do not have much experience with issues like this.

Thank you for that! I just have a bit of anxiety when it comes to things like this so it has been worrying me. I'm also very cautious of the internet, some people are trying to get personal info or worse. (predator, etc.)

 

[OtakuTrash]

well,
maybe don't reopen the chat
block him

Post automatically merged: Jul 31, 2020

Also.
If he get creepy.
BLOCK HIM

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Halppppp

 

[daringred_]

yeah, i'm with the second person. your comfort and personal space should never be jeopardized for the sake of someone else's wants. if he wants to make friends that badly, there are forums and sites for that and much politer ways to go about it than constant harassment + prying questions. i have social anxiety myself so i know it can be difficult to tell people what's what but if his behavior is bothering you that much, you're just going to have to do it. worst case scenario: he keeps messaging you and you ignore it, or he gives you a bad review and you report it along with him.

if he's really a decent person, he'll leave you alone and/or apologize. if he does neither, you made the right call.

 

[SpaceTokki77]

yeah, i'm with the second person. your comfort and personal space should never be jeopardized for the sake of someone else's wants. if he wants to make friends that badly, there are forums and sites for that and much politer ways to go about it than constant harassment + prying questions. i have social anxiety myself so i know it can be difficult to tell people what's what but if his behavior is bothering you that much, you're just going to have to do it. worst case scenario: he keeps messaging you and you ignore it, or he gives you a bad review and you report it along with him.

if he's really a decent person, he'll leave you alone and/or apologize. if he does neither, you made the right call.

Thank you for the advice! he seems okay but there's so way in hell I could tell him i'm uncomfortable. Too anxious. I'll probably block him or ignore him.

 

[daringred_]

Thank you for the advice! he seems okay but there's so way in hell I could tell him i'm uncomfortable. Too anxious. I'll probably block him or ignore him.

sometimes it helps me to remember that people online can't see me and don't know anything about me or where i live. so if i tell them what's what and they don't want to hear it, it doesn't matter. the ball's in my court because i can ignore, block and/or report them.

if the site doesn't have a block function, definitely just ignore him if he's making you uncomfortable. hopefully he'll drop it sooner or later. (though in my experience men can be awfully persistent rip.) if he keeps it up and you still don't want to confront him, definitely just report him. hopefully the mods or whoever will take it up with him or any warning he gets will teach him not to repeat the behavior.

 

[SpaceTokki77]

sometimes it helps me to remember that people online can't see me and don't know anything about me or where i live. so if i tell them what's what and they don't want to hear it, it doesn't matter. the ball's in my court because i can ignore, block and/or report them.

if the site doesn't have a block function, definitely just ignore him if he's making you uncomfortable. hopefully he'll drop it sooner or later. (though in my experience men can be awfully persistent rip.) if he keeps it up and you still don't want to confront him, definitely just report him. hopefully the mods or whoever will take it up with him or any warning he gets will teach him not to repeat the behavior.

Alright! Tysm for the advice, it really helps c:

 

[kayleee]

Yeah like other people have said, just ignore/block him. I’ve learned in my life that if anyone or anything makes you uncomfortable, you don’t HAVE to spare anyone’s feelings/put up with it. It’s some weird unspoken social expectation that we put up with things that make us uncomfortable, but I say nah. Its a lot easier to do online for sure, so definitely just stop all interaction with them and then stop thinking about it! If they give you a bad rating on nookazon because of it then they clearly have rejection issues and honestly there’s nothing you can really do about that. But don’t let some random person online make you feel this way, it’s really just not worth it

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Update: I was doing another trade with him, his family/friends were there. I came and he said he was 12 years old. I told him he should not be using Nookazon because it is 13+. He called me ugly and basic and then he continued to make fun of me in front of his 9 year old cousins. Like dude. I then lost it and confronted him on Nookazon. Here is what I said, copied from the website.

Me: Hi, so the way you spoke to me when I was over at your island is not okay. I'm serious, joke or not. I don't know you in person therefor you can't say that or do anything close to that. Especially when there are 9 year olds present. I have also felt a little bit uncomfortable talking with you considering your ratings, I have social anxiety, making me extra cautious about things like that. It's not okay to do any of those things with someone you don't know. Please do not ever say/do those things
again to me or anyone online. Also, I use this site purely for quick trades. Not to make friends or chat long-term with someone.

Him: Gosh I’m sorry I’m a huge joker


Me: You should also not be using this site if you are going to act that way with the users on here, let alone you are not 13.

Him: Yes I am!
Im older I’m obvi not telling real age

Me: That's fine with me. Just please don't ever act that way again, it's not okay.

Him: I’m sorry you weren’t very nice either what did I say that was offensive?

Me: That I was ugly and basic? Whether or not it was a joke, it's not okay to say that to someone you don't know.


Like what the hell, dude?
I said NOTHING rude.
Please help, Idk what to do. I can't figure out how to block him and it's getting me really upset and anxious.

 

[daringred_]

Update: I was doing another trade with him, his family/friends were there. I came and he said he was 12 years old. I told him he should not be using Nookazon because it is 13+. He called me ugly and basic and then he continued to make fun of me in front of his 9 year old cousins. Like dude. I then lost it and confronted him on Nookazon. Here is what I said, copied from the website.

Me: Hi, so the way you spoke to me when I was over at your island is not okay. I'm serious, joke or not. I don't know you in person therefor you can't say that or do anything close to that. Especially when there are 9 year olds present. I have also felt a little bit uncomfortable talking with you considering your ratings, I have social anxiety, making me extra cautious about things like that. It's not okay to do any of those things with someone you don't know. Please do not ever say/do those things
again to me or anyone online. Also, I use this site purely for quick trades. Not to make friends or chat long-term with someone.

Him: Gosh I’m sorry I’m a huge joker


Me: You should also not be using this site if you are going to act that way with the users on here, let alone you are not 13.

Him: Yes I am!
Im older I’m obvi not telling real age

Me: That's fine with me. Just please don't ever act that way again, it's not okay.

Him: I’m sorry you weren’t very nice either what did I say that was offensive?

Me: That I was ugly and basic? Whether or not it was a joke, it's not okay to say that to someone you don't know.


Like what the hell, dude?
I said NOTHING rude.
Please help, Idk what to do. I can't figure out how to block him and it's getting me really upset and anxious.

if you want the last word, have it, but don't open any messages from him after that. leave him a bad review because he clearly deserves it. (12 or not, you went out of your way to explain it to him so continuing to behave this way is on him.) if he does the same back, report it/him (since i'm assuming you can't contest it) and just leave it there. guaranteed if he acts like this regularly, your bad review won't be the only one and a stack of them against him vs. one against you leaves you better off.

 

[SpaceTokki77]

if you want the last word, have it, but don't open any messages from him after that. leave him a bad review because he clearly deserves it. (12 or not, you went out of your way to explain it to him so continuing to behave this way is on him.) if he does the same back, report it/him (since i'm assuming you can't contest it) and just leave it there. guaranteed if he acts like this regularly, your bad review won't be the only one and a stack of them against him vs. one against you leaves you better off.

He's extremely petty and would probably leave a bad review back, but idc. Thank you so much for helping me

Post automatically merged: Jul 31, 2020

Archived the chat, done. Will be reporting him for harassment

 

[Cosmic_Crossfade]

I'm not too familiar with Nookazon as a whole as I find BellTree much better, but if anybody is ever giving you an uncomfortable feeling or if you ever personally feel the vibe is "off" regardless of the situation, then you take action to do what you have to in order to feel secure.

If there is a block button, then I say use it if it makes you feel better. No matter whether if the person's intentions are malicious or not, it's about what makes you comfortable in the end. Don't worry about your review level. Throwing away your comfortability just to make sure a person doesn't leave you a lousy star rating isn't worth the anxiety it gives. People sometimes will use what they can to dangle it over other people's heads, knowing they have that power, but in reality, they don't. You give them it. Never give them power over you or let yourself fall victim to it. Sadly, in life, not everyone can be pleased. Sometimes, you get people who just want to leave you with something negative because they can. Is it fair? No, but it does happen.

If you are a good, nice, honest trader, then that rating will not affect you in the slightest. You will get more positive reviews compared to the ratio of bad anyway but I digress. If you don't like the way this person is coming off? Then take the initiative to protect yourself by ignoring them by blocking. Don't speak back to them either. If you don't give them attention, they stop.

If this person decides to spam you, harass you, or is being unjust in their actions towards you by constantly leaving bad reviews to the point you know it's sabotage, then report them on the site.

Post automatically merged: Jul 31, 2020

Oh, I didn't see your update. I'm glad you reported! Good for you