The KiloPatches Advice Column and Q&A Thread!

[KiloPatches]

Since everyone is doing it, I thought I would give it a try.

ASK ME ANYTHING. I am not shy. In fact I am very honest, and brutally so at times. But I will aim not to offend anyone.

I call this an advice column because I have visited the "What's bothering you thread" and offered people advice on there it seemed to help. I am a History and Psychology Major at university, so I can give you assistance on exam taking tips, good study habits, time management, etc, while also (keeping in mind I am NOT a professional of any sort... yet, though I do want my PhD eventually) can relate to psychiatric issues as I have a psychiatric disorder myself. So ask and pry away at me! I don't mind opening up. TBT is a friendly place.

I can offer relationship advice too. I have been in a long-term committed, heterosexual relationship for over 6 years. Unmarried, common-law, which means we have lived together for over 3 years, my boyfriend and I. I feel that deems me to have a few words of wisdom in the realm of relationships.

My mother died when i was 19, and I had an abusive past with my father (I am an only child) and lived in youth shelters. Yet I never smoked or did drugs, but yet I earned the respect of the street kids. I can share my experiences openly about that too.

I have been active on the forums for about a year, met some REALLY great folks. I hope to meet more. Maybe some of you guys who can relate to me in some way!

My bio involves me being a university student in Ontario, Canada. My hobbies include drinking loose leaf tea, meditating and taking long hot baths, playing video games, and this month, NaNoWriMo. I identify as Roman Catholic and attend Mass regularly, though i don't agree with everything the church teaches, but I don't feel that hinders my faith.

So go ahead! Ask away! I will put anything sensitive in a spoiler, or send a PM to keep this thread a happy place.

Feel free to ask random things too Those are always fun

Thanks!

Kilo

UPDATE MARCH 21, 2015:
RIP "WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU?" THREAD (FOR THE SECOND OR THIRD TIME)
Unfortunately that thread was misused to a certain extent and I want to create a safe place here where people can ASK FOR ADVICE rather than VENT about issues as an OPEN DIALOGUE to avoid heckling and mistreatment towards other users. IF YOU COME HERE, I WILL ANSWER AND ADDRESS YOUR ISSUES, ME ALONE, WITH WHAT KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERTISE I HAVE - NO ONE ELSE IS TO BARDGE IN. This is MY "Ask Kilo" Thread. IF SOMEONE COMES HERE WITH A PROBLEM, I WILL NOT TOLERATE BACK TALKING OR HARASSMENT OF THAT USER! IF YOU ARE VENTING, YOU ARE VENTING TO ME, although know what you say is publicly visible. Be considerate of others. Forum rules still apply. However this is a safe space and I will not allow this to be an open discourse where others offer THEIR input or heckle/harass/judge/etc....etc... If you would feel more comfortable venting privately, my inbox is always open. PM me anytime. I am open to private consultations.

 

[DarkOnyx]

How did you come up with your username?^-^

 

[KiloPatches]

How did you come up with your username?^-^

Always the first question people ask:

I was in cadets for several years, a sort of "girl/boy scouts" but more military-oriented for kids aged 12-19. You can join the reserves afterwards. I was in air cadets so I got my pilot's license student permit and went through ground school an such, was a drill commander and such. Those were the good old days

My first name is Katherine. "K" in the military phonetic alphabet is "Kilo" (like Alpha, Bravo, Charlie.... etc).

Patches was my call sign in cadets. It was my nickname because its similar to my last name, and in the military you refer to people by their last name and rank.

Hence, KiloPatches

 

[Beleated_Media]

Is pizza really a vegatable?

 

[KiloPatches]

Is pizza really a vegatable?

Pizza in itself is not a vegetable, but it CAN contain vegatables! My boyfriend likes Chicken and Broccoli on his because he's wierd. He also likes Bacon and Pepperoni. I like classic extra cheese Sometimes I will get a pizza with Mushrooms and Red Onion and Bacon. So it contains veggies, but not as a whole, a vegetable, because there is dough and whatnot. I believe the sause counts as a vegetable, but I get creamy garlic dippping sauce on mine (SO unhealthy, but you gotta live a little!) and if I DO get tomato sauce, I get "easy on the sauce". I don't like saucy pizza.

 

[InfinityFlames]

My classmates all seem to hate me because of a lie.. it's a long story.
This has led me to many suicidal thoughts which haunt me during the day
How can I deal with this?

 

[oath2order]

christ another one

 

[Superpenguin]

christ another one

be nice omg

 

[KiloPatches]

My classmates all seem to hate me because of a lie.. it's a long story.
This has led me to many suicidal thoughts which haunt me during the day
How can I deal with this?

Spoiler

These days I have been struggling with Suicidal thoughts too. I will PM you this same message. I was reading in my developmental Psychology textbook about a theory of adolescent cognition by Elkind that states that adolescents fall into a trap of "imagined audiences" where they look too heavily on their peer groups for approval, when really, no one gives a ****. It can cause a teenage girl to be late to class every day trying on different outfits before she leaves for school because she can't leave unless she is satisfied with her appearance in front of her "imagined audience". It can lead to a variety of issues like unprotected sex and other risky behaviours like gang involvement and drug use. I don't sense that in you, but I feel you care too much about what your classmates think of you. You attribute a lot of self-blame because of the lie, whatever it may be, and what you need to realize as this will likely not matter 5 years from now, for instance, or even sooner. Be sure to be self-aware of the things you enjoy most, like playing Animal Crossing. Make it part of your daily maintenance list. Make a list of all the things you enjoy doing and be sure to practice them as a plan for self-care. I have recently coped with my suicidal thoughts, which have been like a broken record over and over of "I want to kill myself, I want to kill myself, Kill! Kill! Kill!" and try to reframe it to "I want to love myself, I want to love myself". I have begin journalling too. Trying to make an attitude of gratitude. Writing positive things, even small things, that happened in my day, and ending each statement with "I want to live" and give a reason why. For instance, "I had a great pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks today. I am grateful for the person who made it. "I want to live" - so I can enjoy them again in future". Something like that. Also keeping a log of 3 good things that happened each day. Martin Seligman, a Positive Psychologist proposed this coping strategy. I fall into a trap of "NOTHING EVER goes right in my life." But if I keep a log of 3 good things that happen each day even small things, for weeks on end, I can counter and challenge that negative belief and look back and say "See? My life isn't horrible 100% of the time. I still do experience good things even in the darkest of times". Those are some ideas. And, it goes without saying, if you feel the urge to attempt, PLEASE seek help, by calling your local crisis centre or going to your hospital emergency room to speak with a crisis worker.

- - - Post Merge - - -

christ another one

Yeah, I know.... they have been popular as of late. But I made mine into an advice column to spice things up. Let's stay on track. Ask me a question!

- - - Post Merge - - -

be nice omg

Thank you Any questions?

 

[KiloPatches]

Any questions today? Anyone in need of advice?

 

[KiloPatches]

Bump for questions! I want to hear from you guys! I know there are DOZENS of these threads, but I hope you will take a moment to ask me a question or ask me for advice on something.

 

[thatawkwardkid]

Are you planning on having children?

 

[tobi!]

cats or dogs

 

[Milky-Chii]

Is it true you are a beautiful princess? :0

 

[tamagotchi]

How do you tell your short tempered teacher that you don't have your project done, even though you had a week to work on it? In your defense, you were sick for 2 days, so you only got 3 days to work on it.

I guess this would go in the advice part, ha ha.

 

[KiloPatches]

Are you planning on having children?

No, actually. That was a decision my boyfriend and I made early on in our relationship.
1. We both want our PhDs and be professors and travel the world and devout our lives to study, teaching and research.
2. I have genetically linked disorders that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, never mind my own children, so theres that, I don't want to risk my kids having the illnesses I suffer from.
3. We think we would make horrible parents. We look around and see horrible parenting all the time and know we could do better, but I don't know, we feel really insecure about parenting. My boyfriends' parents were teenagers when they had him and his brother. And having me destroyed my parent's marriage (even though they never divorced, it was still a hostile and unhealthy relationship). We know it changes relationship, and we are happy being parents to our two cats, J'zargo and M'aiq the Liar. Much easier than an 18-year commitment.
4. My mother's death wish was pretty much that I never have kids. "It ruins your body, it ruins your marriage, it ruins your finances, it ruins your life" she told me, even from an early age. So I have never really wanted kids. Ever.
5. My friend, who actually I met here on TBT, gave birth not that long ago prematurely and had a complicated pregnancy. Her son died at 12 days old from a sudden infection. She is devastated. Anything can happen. So many things can go wrong.
6. I take psychiatric medication every day. Some can cause defects in a fetus possibly or cause complications in pregnancy. So if I went off them it could be unhealthy for me, which could be unhealthy for the baby too. But if I stay on them, they could poison the baby and cause defects or abnormalities, or even kill it in the womb.

So yeah..... No kids for me.

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cats or dogs

This is a hard one. I was a dog person most of my life.

My parents had a tabby cat before they had me who HATED me when I came along. His name was Fred. I just thought all cats were mean.

I then got a beautiful purebred American Cocker Spaniel named Chloee when I was 9 because I had no siblings and my parents thought I should have a companion. So THEN I was a dog person.

I moved away at the age of 16 because of abuse in the household, and they mistreated Chloee, by not walking her and feeding her human food. She got fat pretty quick.

I went to university in 2008, met my boyfriend, and in 2011 moved in with him. In 2012 Chloee died - my Dad put her down because she was steadily aging and she would sleep most of the day and forget to eat, go outside to pee, etc.... and she was blind and deaf. He didn't ask for my consent. She was MY dog. He told me of her death in an email of all things! Not even a phone call! It reminded him too much of my mother's illness and her death in 2010, so he put her down instead of looking after her.

So my boyfriend and I adopted cats from the Humane Society. J'zargo & M'aiq the Liar we named them (after Khajiits in Skyrim), and my view of cats changed. These were loving, affectionate boys! They show love to me everyday.

So now, even though I miss Chloee, I am definately a cat person because of J'zargo & M'aiq.

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Is it true you are a beautiful princess? :0

I am? I never thought of myself that way. Where did you get that idea? XD

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How do you tell your short tempered teacher that you don't have your project done, even though you had a week to work on it? In your defense, you were sick for 2 days, so you only got 3 days to work on it.

I guess this would go in the advice part, ha ha.

A teacher's goal always should be to want their students to flourish. Perhaps remind him or her of that when you talk to them. Explain the situation to them, perhaps explain that you have a good track record of working hard and doing well on other assignments (if that's the case), and request an extension. Offer to provide a note from a doctor or a parent stating you were ill, say you want to do well on the assignment, that you are really interested in the topic, and you want to invest enough time to do it justice and that an extension would be appreciated. Perhaps tell him or her the gist of your project and what you plan to do, and be sure to muster as much enthusiasm as you can when you do this to show you are motivated. He or she may be more inclined to give you an extension that way. Hope it helps!

 

[cannedcommunism]

Do you speak any language other than English?

 

[KiloPatches]

Do you speak any language other than English?

Because I am Canadian, I grew up learding French from grades 1-12, so I am relatively fluent in French.
I also took German in university. I would say I am functional.

Thanks for your question!

 

[Disband]

Kilo, are you on this Forum...http://wishysstarco.proboards.com/ ?

I have seen you there before....

 

[Myst]

Why did you decide to join TBT?