Toxic Words of Advice That People Give
- Thread starter Shawna
- Start date
i think most versions of 'play it cool so you don't come off too strong' are misguided and unhelpful. although, there's a fine line between breaching a boundary and being invasive - in which case coming off strong in that sense is objectively inappropriate - and coming on strongly by simply being honest about your emotions. i'm talking about the latter, the belief that you should keep your cards close to your chest and keep yourself in a position to be 'chased'. if you have to offer a watered down version of yourself or your feelings to be palatable to someone, then that person just isn't for you. the right person will meet you where you are. it's a defensive strategy that keeps people thinking honesty and vulnerability are cringe. i'd rather be rejected in life because my honesty revealed an incompatibility than accepted only by omission and the erasure of my own feelings ! it makes communication so much easier.
Violet Witch
☽Stay Wild Moon Child☾
"You just have to think more positively"
If anyone says that to me now when I'm going through a rough patch, I ignore them or walk away as I can't stand the idea of suddenly changing your mental state. It's simply not that easy.
If anyone says that to me now when I'm going through a rough patch, I ignore them or walk away as I can't stand the idea of suddenly changing your mental state. It's simply not that easy.
These are similar to the "just ignore it" example my friend Ashton gave, but I also hate when people say things like "get over it", or "just forget about it". Plus, people usually use these out of spite, instead of actually trying to be helpful. It's downright insensitive!
Do you not realize that people have trauma/PTSD, ADHD, OCD, ASD (I myself have ASD, and I have also been questioning if I have ADHD, and although to a lesser extent, OCD), etc., which can make it damn-near impossible for people to ignore, forget, and get over certain things!
People with ASD and/or ADHD for example, have a hard time coping with loud noises and other things that go under sensory issues and concentration issues.
And people with PTSD and OCD have intrusive thoughts about trauma and just other unpleasant things that have happened to them in the past.
I don't understand why people with neurodivergent disorders get so much BS. ._.
This just goes to show that ignorance can turn into insensitivity and hatred if it isn't dealt with properly.
Do you not realize that people have trauma/PTSD, ADHD, OCD, ASD (I myself have ASD, and I have also been questioning if I have ADHD, and although to a lesser extent, OCD), etc., which can make it damn-near impossible for people to ignore, forget, and get over certain things!
People with ASD and/or ADHD for example, have a hard time coping with loud noises and other things that go under sensory issues and concentration issues.
And people with PTSD and OCD have intrusive thoughts about trauma and just other unpleasant things that have happened to them in the past.
I don't understand why people with neurodivergent disorders get so much BS. ._.
This just goes to show that ignorance can turn into insensitivity and hatred if it isn't dealt with properly.
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
"We just want whats best for you"
This is a common phrase most parents give to their kids and its the WORST type of advice yet. They are only deciding for them and not allowing them to think for themselves of what makes them happy.
This is a common phrase most parents give to their kids and its the WORST type of advice yet. They are only deciding for them and not allowing them to think for themselves of what makes them happy.
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By that logic you shouldn't be happy because there are happier people than you.
Pretty sure most of these sayings were established by people who are the problem so they can get away with it.
It's like the line 'respect is earned not given.' People are stupid and take it out of context. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity until they prove they are not worthy of it. But people being the idiots they are take the whole meaning way out of proportion.
i just need people to know if you go shopping during black friday sales/christmas/boxing day/etc and tell the employees "i feel so bad shopping today haha" "i feel so sorry for you guys!" you are the devil. you are the reason we're here. if you were sorry you'd be at home. leave.
ribbitribbon
Kappore kappore!
“snap out of it” or “you’re being dramatic, you’re fine”. if i could do that, don’t you think i would have already?
Goldi Locks
Hot Porridge
"Be Kind" because I simply don't work in that kind of environment. If I tried to negotiate drunken aggressive punters by being kind to them, they'd shove me in the barrel store and drink the bar dry without paying. Maybe even smash the place up.
AccfSally
Writer ₊˚✩
"That's because he likes you"
I don't know if this falls under it, but it's a pretty toxic thing to tell others, especially to children; Mostly to girls whenever a guy is picking/teasing on her. I'm in the middle of watch a review for that 'movie' Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa on Youtube and this line is brought up and it's really annoying because that was tossed at me back when I was little.
Even if it's true, make them stop. It's harassment and you.. the adult...is encouraging it.
I really hope this isn't a thing nowadays.
I don't know if this falls under it, but it's a pretty toxic thing to tell others, especially to children; Mostly to girls whenever a guy is picking/teasing on her. I'm in the middle of watch a review for that 'movie' Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa on Youtube and this line is brought up and it's really annoying because that was tossed at me back when I was little.
Even if it's true, make them stop. It's harassment and you.. the adult...is encouraging it.
I really hope this isn't a thing nowadays.
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ShinyDungeoneer
Helpful Life-Form
I hate when people say "good things come to those who wait". Yeah, i'm impatient, but that saying ain't true. Bad things have just as much of a chance of coming as good things to those who wait, but whenever I point this out, i'm somehow the idiot? really?
k e r f u f f l e
Proverbs 15:19
"You need to take time to be selfish."
No, you need to take time for yourself. Do not give yourself permission to be selfish. Selfishness is fueled by ego, and can lead to toxic behavior. Self-preservation is a temporary focus to improve yourself and to make yourself stronger.
No, you need to take time for yourself. Do not give yourself permission to be selfish. Selfishness is fueled by ego, and can lead to toxic behavior. Self-preservation is a temporary focus to improve yourself and to make yourself stronger.
Does the saying 'You're going to miss me when I am gone count?' The people who have always said that to me knew they were very much in the wrong and it was their way of gaslighting. There are many people I will miss when it happens, but it's always the people using that saying as a way to try to manipulate me emotionally.
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
Cou
l also have been a cry for help because they are suicidal.
PapaCrossing
Graham's Homie
"Don't ever change"
Change is a part of growth.
I know 40-something-year-old man children still trying to act like they're in their teens and early 20s. It's not good advice to live by.
Change is a part of growth.
I know 40-something-year-old man children still trying to act like they're in their teens and early 20s. It's not good advice to live by.
The problem with a lot of these sayings is over time they lost their meaning because of the way people perversed them. Good things come to those who wait is about being patient, but also striving towards your goal. It's not about sitting by idly and hoping something happens. If you want that change you got to try to make it happen.
