Twin Flames vs Soulmates: What are your thoughts?
- Thread starter Psydye
- Start date
debinoresu
you foolish fool
soulmate! i dont really believe any of it but we call eachother soulmates ~ she makes me question my disbelief! but its always felt more of a destiny soulmate thing than a twin flame type thing
VillageDuck
quack?
Your first video makes the "twin flames" concept sound dangerously like co-dependency, which isn't a healthy vibe at all. You have to feel complete as a person in yourself before you can truly build something that will last with another person.
For me personally, I don't put much stock in terms like "soulmates" or "the one". I also think trying to categorise relationships in this way is reductive and gives people often dangerous ideas about what they should expect from their partner. Relationships are living things that need nurturing and taking care of. There isn't any one particular person out there that's "your soulmate", but lots of potential people - what matters is you've grown your relationship together and you never stop working at it as you both grow and evolve yourself.
For me personally, I don't put much stock in terms like "soulmates" or "the one". I also think trying to categorise relationships in this way is reductive and gives people often dangerous ideas about what they should expect from their partner. Relationships are living things that need nurturing and taking care of. There isn't any one particular person out there that's "your soulmate", but lots of potential people - what matters is you've grown your relationship together and you never stop working at it as you both grow and evolve yourself.
SheepMareep
Actual Magical Girl
I honestly thought the same thing lol. The twin flame sounds very co-dependent and unstable which is not a very healthy or positive relationship at all. I don't think you HAVE to feel complete when you meet someone in order to form a relationship, more so you need to understand the the person you are with is not there to fix or complete you but to walk with you side by side as you try to find yourself and work through your own personal issues and they work on their own. Of course they could be there as support but not to the point where you feel empty and alone without them. People need boundaries and are responsible for their own growth. I'm surprised a channel dedicated to mental health didn't really pick that up...
There are too many people in the world for me to think 100% that soul mates are real. Do I feel as though I am with the one person I will spend my life with? After five years, yeah. But it's all because of work and effort put into the relationship not because our souls are intertwined and destined to find each other. Relationships require you to wake up every day and think that yeah, you love this person and want to be with them and work with them. A lot of people will say they found the one, break up, then find someone else and say that they are their true soul mate not the previous person.
There are too many options out there for anyone to have one specific person they are destined to be with.
I like the idea of twin flames (in media) more, but in reality I think a relationship is something you commit yourself to and build something amazing on common ground. In movies the idea of soulmates always makes people leave a longtime relationship for a fantasy and that's really toxic irl. I guess in real life people will call their partner soulmate because they better each other and work through issues, which is fine. But people don't belong to one person, if we did most of us would never find the one.
VillageDuck
quack?
Very well said - I should have clarified more! By "complete" I didn't mean as in you're 100% happy, issue-free and fully accomplished in all your life goals - I know I'm not! - but more that you don't feel like an empty shell of a person because you haven't found the right partner. You are an individual and you don't need a partner to be who you are. (But that other person makes being you all the sweeter)
The amount of times one of my friends went "I've never felt this in a relationship before, it's so magical, I think they're the one, life feels complete now"...!
both are very damaging burdens to place on another person and represent poor life planning. destiny, fate, soulmates--these are all lofty words that actually mean very little in practice and ill-prepare younger people for cohabitation.
It hasn't and it won't.
Why is my bond with my wife bothering you so much?
I didn't post here to be challenged about my feelings for my own wife.
I love her.
Simple as that.
you may be projecting a little, friend. let's not be obtuse, yeah? your relationship in particular was inconsequential to my point. i don't agree people should entertain this search for codependency. you may be mature enough to identify the difference, but the language itself entertains a mentality that commitment itself is enough to stabilize a relationship and teens don't have your um, informed insight.
SheepMareep
Actual Magical Girl
Definitley!!!! I think a lot of people also feel they are "soul mates" because typically life today... sucks for the average person. Being with someone you like releases all those happy hormones and the feeling can be overwhelming/like a dream and make people think they found a soul mate. That pattern just kind of repeats with every new relationship since the last one ended and they probably revert to a less happy state. So that way every relationship is "the one".
This feeling can lead to co-dependency especially in people with depression who dont typically have so much dopamine going on. And that co-dependency allows a lot of people to get away with abusing their partner since they know they're too reliant on the relationship and won't leave anyway.
Idk. People should truly learn to look inwards and really evaluate their emotions/relationships with people romantic or not. I'd love it if schools taught "soul searching" (for a lack of better term) classes. That way people can more easily judge their situations and it's even been shown that inward reflection on yourself can help increase happiness in general.
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Exactly. Depending on another person and revolving your life around someone else is dangerous.
Being able to support each other =/= depending on each other and people should learn the difference.
idiotdoomspiral
=__=
i was in a very unhealthy relationship because of the idea of soulmates. i became very dependent and i lost a lot of things that i probably will never get back. i kind of just soaked in every horrible thing that happened and i didnt think i could leave because it was my fate. its an idea that can prey on people who have had bad experiences with others in the past and are easily manipulated with promises of being loved and cared for. i guess it can be a cute little thing with your partner if you dont fully believe in it and i wouldnt judge anyone who does but you have to be very careful.
