(Vent) I need advice! My sister copies every facet of my personality

[FRANS_PLAYER]

My sister is 12, 2 years younger than me. We never really had a great relationship - she's always been extremely malicious to me. For years now, she's copied lots of things I like, picking them up after I did. I could probably make a whole list, but here are a couple of them, ranging from books to music to other things:
1. Melanie Martinez
2. Girl in Red (she yelled at me for playing my "weird gay" music but then the next day I heard it playing in her room :/)
3. Drawing manga/anime style characters
4. Raina Telegmier books
5. MattyB (haha I know this is dumb, I used to be obsessed with him)
6. The School for Good and Evil series
7. ATLA (Avatar, The Last Airbender)

I don't mean to be rude to her - I'd be fine with her liking the things I liked if it wasn't EVERYTHING I liked! I don't mean to gatekeep from her or anything, but she quite literally picks up every interest or hobby I have shortly after I get interested. Now, she's going to buy Animal Crossing when we get home from our vacation and I'm wildly desperate not to let her. I already tried to burn that bridge about a month ago when she wanted it for her birthday. I also tried to calmly tell her I didn't like what she was doing because it made me uncomfortable, but she started laughing and sarcastically talking about how I don't "own" these things. Like I said, I'd be fine with it if it wasn't everything! I can literally feel my identity being stolen from me and she doesn't care.

 

[biibii]

I think this is very common with siblings. I dont think its inherently malicious, she just idolizes you and goes about it the wrong way. Youre probably the cooler older sibling to her and she wants to be just like you because she doesnt feel cool herself. I think you should help guide her and appreciate things you both enjoy so that you can both strengthen your relationship with common interests. I have 2 siblings. I know what its like to want to be different and not want them to copy everything, and having an individuality complex. In the long term, having the incessant need to be different will only hurt you and cause other feelings of frustration, anger, jealousy, and hurt to arise. I felt the same way about animal crossing with my little brother, but he picked it up and got bored super quick. I too need to work on being more patient with my siblings. Maybe she is going through some sort of her own problems, and it helps her to cope by mimicking you. I think theres a lot of different angles you could view this problem from, although speaking to her kindly and patiently and brushing off any immature behaviour (which is to be expected because shes literally not even a teenager yet) as to allow her to lower her guard and speak to you objectively . Beyond this, im sure she will grow out of this soon and find a way to be herself! Just remember how much guidance we wish we had at that age as older children

 

[Kuroh]

Maybe you two could bond over the shared interests? Personally, I think it's fun if I'm able to introduce family/friends to things I enjoy so we can share it together and vice versa! You could always watch Avatar and play Animal Crossing with her and it might help you guys get along better! Best of luck!

 

[winter notes]

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[FRANS_PLAYER]

I think this is very common with siblings. I dont think its inherently malicious, she just idolizes you and goes about it the wrong way. Youre probably the cooler older sibling to her and she wants to be just like you because she doesnt feel cool herself. I think you should help guide her and appreciate things you both enjoy so that you can both strengthen your relationship with common interests. I have 2 siblings. I know what its like to want to be different and not want them to copy everything, and having an individuality complex. In the long term, having the incessant need to be different will only hurt you and cause other feelings of frustration, anger, jealousy, and hurt to arise. I felt the same way about animal crossing with my little brother, but he picked it up and got bored super quick. I too need to work on being more patient with my siblings. Maybe she is going through some sort of her own problems, and it helps her to cope by mimicking you. I think theres a lot of different angles you could view this problem from, although speaking to her kindly and patiently and brushing off any immature behaviour (which is to be expected because shes literally not even a teenager yet) as to allow her to lower her guard and speak to you objectively . Beyond this, im sure she will grow out of this soon and find a way to be herself! Just remember how much guidance we wish we had at that age as older children

Sorry I didn't really clarify - this isn't the malicious behavior I'm talking about. Thanks for the advice tho!

 

[_Rainy_]

I had the same problem only opposite it was frustrating for me to be told that I copy when I just wanted to be myself. It’s also hard to be an individual when you live with that person. It’s also hard because when you live with someone you often influence each other because that’s the environment you’re living in and you take inspiration from that. Just think about a time you and your friends started doing and saying the same things because you’re friends and influence each other. Now as an adult I’m 22 almost 23 in October it turns out we are eerily similar even though we now live in different cities this might not be the same case with you two, but we like all the same things even now. I know that I can talk to her about anything with zero judgment because she always feels the same way. Now that we live apart I have a chance to explore different things on my own, but we always get together and share the things we’ve discovered and encourage each other to try them out and that’s fun for us. She has even started doing things that I started doing first and I don’t mind because I love having somebody to share things I love with.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it isn’t easy for you, but it’s also not easy for her either. She’s probably just trying to figure out who she is and she lives in your shadow, but also looks up to you. I’m not saying these things to invalidate you or make you feel that you don’t have a right to feel these things because you do and everyone has a right to vent and be frustrated. Just cut her some slack I guess and go vent to someone because it’ll get easier as she gets older.

 

[Uffe]

Kids want to be like people they look up to.

 

[winkokumma]

i have two younger sisters who do this. at first it was annoying, but then i realized that they're just kids and they prolly look up to or idolize me.

maybe she'll eventually grow out of some things when she becomes older, or she's genuinely interested in the stuff you're into. people have different mindsets and she could be just looking up to you, and i understand that you guys don't have the absolute best relationship, but maybe try bonding over those things instead. if it really pisses you off, try communicating with her more

 

[Marte]

I understand why it's bothering you, but as someone said before me- it's great to share interests with someone close. Then you have someone to be hyped with! To give off an example, me and my sister loves BTS and we always watch their content and listen to their music together. You can now do that with Melanie. ♥

But yes, I get that she may do it to copy you. But if that's the case then she will wear the interests off after some time, and you will get to enjoy them alone again. As she gets older she will develop her identity and interests, just as you have with yours. I have two younger sisters, where one shares my interests and the other don't, and to be honest I prefer when we share interests, haha. It's so much to share and enjoy together! Don't worry about your identity getting stolen, it won't. ♥ She looks up to you by the sound of it, and this is normally a part of how it is being the older sibling.

 

[KrazyKarp]

I skimmed the other replies and some seem to have said similar things. I have five younger siblings, and copying happens a lot. I got ACNH then three of them got ACNH, for example. A 12 year old sibling copying another sibling (younger or older) is certainly common. I wouldn't read too much into that, though I completely understand it can be sometimes annoying. But it certainly won't last forever, and chances are the amount of interests she takes on because of what you're interested in will fizzle out as she becomes older. I feel the opposite when my siblings take on an interest because of me. I feel great about it and I actually introduce a lot to them with games and such to try and expand their interests!

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

You two are related so it stands to reason that you two have a lot more in common than it may seem. Maybe she just genuinely likes a lot of the things that you like, but because she is 12 she doesn't want to admit it, y'know? I understand it's annoying, but she will most probably grow out of it. I'm a youngest sibling and I definitely discovered a lot of likes/dislikes via my two older brothers.
I don't think you should try to keep Animal Crossing from her; it's a great game and I wish I had known about it when I was 12. Genuinely! Middle school/high school sucks, and a game like Animal Crossing would have helped me so much during that time. If you don't want to play with her, just tell her that, and maybe keep your switch in a hidden place when you are not using it.

 

[Corrie]

This was like my sister when we were younger. I was SO annoyed but then I realized that she copies me because she thinks I'm awesome. That changed things.

I get your frustrations but "stopping" her from getting Animal Crossing too is kinda rude. She can play whatever game she likes.

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

I've had almost the same experience, just on the other side of things. When I was really young I picked up things my older sisters loved, such as music, art, theater, video games, and for a small period of time, anime. I really look up to them because they're amazing. I really want to be just as talented and awesome as they are, but when I realized I just couldn't, I stopped.

If she's interested in Animal Crossing, let her go for it. I was kind of in the same situation when I was 8. I pretended that I didn't like things my siblings were super into as well, but I secretly had a great love for them and only showed it through certain video games. But, I grew out of it, and she probably will, too. It just might take a while.

 

[Bugs]

I think I've got some good insight here for you, I'm 25 my sister is going to be 21 this year, when we were growing up she also did this through her teenage years. She saw me as a geek and she wanted to be one too, she admitted to me in her recent years that back then she just thought me and my friends were cool and wanted to be apart of that. In high school she specifically looked for geeks to be friends with even though she didn't particularly enjoy geeky stuff. Eventually she stopped trying the things I liked and looked at the things I tried but didn't like, such as anime, music, etc. And she found her own hobbies that way.

Tldr; she respects you and thinks you're cool, even if she won't admit that. Encourage her to find new hobbies but don't force her or get angry at her. Eventually she'll get bored or copying you and find things that she enjoys herself that you don't like or that don't interest you. My sister is completely different from me now, even though she used to try to emulate me.

 

[Bowie]

I did this as a child, towards my older sister. It was weird because sometimes I genuinely liked the same thing but my sister would always accuse me of just copying her. Try to give her the benefit of the doubt with some things.

But my relationship with my sister was and still is rocky at best, so I get it. I think you should just read between the lines and try to understand that this is her way of reaching out to you.

 

[FRANS_PLAYER]

I did this as a child, towards my older sister. It was weird because sometimes I genuinely liked the same thing but my sister would always accuse me of just copying her. Try to give her the benefit of the doubt with some things.

But my relationship with my sister was and still is rocky at best, so I get it. I think you should just read between the lines and try to understand that this is her way of reaching out to you.

I try to give her the benefit of the doubt as much as I can, but honestly I just feel sorry for her. This is an EXTREME case of copycattyness (is that a word??). She has literally nothing to call her own except anime and a few TV shows. That's it. She tries to speak like I speak, tries to dress like I dress (even if she won't admit it!). I have an incredibly foul mouth due to being exposed to things I probably shouldn't have seen while on the internet at a young age, and now she has a potty mouth, too! I just pity her because she goes out of her way to treat me like absolute garbage (she has told me to kill myself multiple times, and even threatened to out me but passed it off as a joke. She has been extremely verbally abusive to me throughout my life, but always plays the victim) she has pretty much nothing that is original to her "personality." She loves to laugh at me and say things like: "oh, are you mad I'm cOpYiNg you?!" or "you think everyone's obsessed with you, but they're not!" and "don't flatter yourself, I'm not copying you!" when she actually is so obsessed with me it's pathetic. I know she'd deny any of these things if I said them to her face and just scoff, but I do feel bad for her :/ Sometimes it's hard, because some of the things she has said have affected me longterm. She's always been the problem child in the family.

 

[Chrysopal]

Means she looks up to you.